Circling Back - Getting Abducted by Aliens with The Billionaire Boys

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Longest episode in Circling Back history? Well, it hard to say but maybe. We answer the following questions today — Who's the most bad boy billionaire there is? Does a Peloton instructor have a ghostwriter for his jokes? Which celebrities have the best odds of getting abducted by aliens? That and more. Enjoy. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (24:01) Who’s the most bad boy billionaire? (38:57) Peloton Ghostwriter? (54:15) Abducted By Aliens Odds (1:07:05) This Weekend in Fun (1:19:00) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Cuts: www.cutsclothing.com/steam (15% off) Ritual: www.ritual.com/circlingback (10% off) Keeps: www.keeps.com/steam (First Month FREE) Solo Stove: www.solostove.com (STEAM for $10 off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back podcast presented by Busy Heart Seltzer, the only heart seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFries. To my right, David Carter-Ruff. Something's off. Something's different. I don't... I'm trying to pinpoint it. I saw Circuit City was trending.

What's going on? What am I missing here? Isn't that what Vince Vaughn owned in old school? Speaker City. Oh! That movie was epic. You guys probably liked it because it dealt with frats. Are you going to act like you didn't like old school? No, I liked old school Are you going to act like you didn't like old school? No, I liked old school.

Were you the only dude who didn't like old school? I liked old school, man. It was good. Are we in island time right now? What's up with that beat, dog? Welcome to Wilmont, dude. Was that a different song? I noticed a glaring lack of trap.

It was just the instrumental. Remix. Dude. I know, sorry. Don't chop and screw. Sorry. It's already perfect. Is it because it's 110% humidity here in Austin, Texas? We're just celebrating the island vibe?

That air is hitting different right now. It's stupid heavy. It is. Walk downstairs and look at your steamed up windows season. It's not cool, man, at all. No, quite literally. It's in the 80s. It stinks, baby. It stinks. A friend of ours, we're not going to man. At all. No, quite literally, it's in the 80s. It stinks, baby.

It stinks. A friend of ours, we're not going to name names, texted and said, hey, what's the weather like in May and June in Austin? April and May, actually. April and May. And it's just like, you know what? You probably know the answer. Uncomfortable. April and May this year were actually not bad at all.

They kind of hit. They were bad because you couldn't be outdoors because it was just a sopping wet driveway. Yeah. I mean, but to be honest, I would take the rain during those months if it means that I'm not sweating constantly. Brett played in a golf tournament Monday. I don't know if you guys saw this. I think he finished dead ass last. He's the worst to ever do it.

Literally. The worst to ever do it. So I ran for OMB. Dude, low-key, low-key woated. And it was just overcast. I was like, dude, you couldn't have asked for better weather in June here. You didn't get rain. It was humid.

But you didn't have to deal with the sun. He did still get torched. I don't know if you all saw him the other day. His face was blood red. Dude, he gets sunburned sitting in the studio. He doesn't like overhead lights, and I think it's because they sunburn. I don't like them either,

but that's for the same reason Micah didn't like them. Why? Just wasn't too kind to the hair. What do you think I wear a hat every day in here? Why do you have to expose Micah like that? He jokes about it. Plus, he's not going to hear this. He's retired partially somewhat. I need to set my lamp game up in my apartment.

I need lamps for when I'm trying to lamp. Our nursery has a mushroom lamp. Very cool. That's sick. It's total vibes. That's real sick. It's freaking mood. I remember Moth Twitter.

That was fun. Moth Twitter was the best. Hey, were we early on Cicada Twitter? Is Cicada Twitter a thing? What are you talking about? The Cicadas have invaded the Midwest. You've seen this, right? No.

Randy, you know. Okay, thanks. Cicada, Cicada. Everybody know me. What am I missing? You're going to overlook me doing Shakira, Shakira for Cicada, Cicada? No one didn't pick up on the ref. That know what I mean. What am I missing? You're going to overlook me doing Shakira Shakira for Cicada Cicada? No one didn't pick up on the ref. That's good, dude.

It was a stretch at best. Cicada, Cicada. The top story is Cicadas took on Biden's press plane. They won. The flying insects filled the engines of a flight set to accompany the president on his trip to Europe. They con-aired. Air Force One. Is that who Kamala was?

Hey, Cicadas, get off my plane is that who kamala was talking to dude cicadas on a plane get these motherfucking cicadas off my motherfucking plane wow those cicadas on this plane come on i don't know what voice that was a pivot what did you say was that was kamala talking toadas? Saying don't come? Were they trying to get on the plane? No, no. She was talking to migrants. Okay. You know?

Yes. She's like, don't you come here to this country. Don't come. Do not come. All right, dude. I don't want that sound drop, but just know that it's funny. It plays. Dude, plug that shit in.

Dude, shut up, dog. What are you doing? Not to call out our meme guy. It's like this guy's never prepared for content. I don't even get it. I'll buy you some time as I air a grievance and just throw a shot at Luka Domfic. You got to be quick. When you find gold like that, you got to just post it.

You got to let it fly. You got to let it fly. Don't even ask. I mean ask, but that one's fine. Well, I mean, internet parties, they're just posting anything right now. Their strategy is something that, honestly, I wish we were doing. Is internet party the horniest podcast in the world? Yeah.

I don't think Brad would like being called that, but I think John is pounding his chest right now. It has nothing to do with Brad. No. It's half horny. Although, what Brad put on the timeline the other day was straight up bonk. If I see a post from Brad, I'm commenting butter every single time. Oh, it was butter pecan thighs? Oh, they hit different.

Hey, do you want to hear that? Do the people at home want to hear that sound clip? I probably still fucked this up. Let's see if it works. Yeah, let's hear it, dog. Do not come. Okay. Do not come.

All right, we get it. Dude, that's valid. That's facts. That is facts. That. Do not come. All right. We get it. Dude, that's valid. That's facts. That is facts. That's kind of sick. Oh, my gosh. Anyway.

Hey, I'm happy to be here, man. Hey, we got Dylan Chipper in the building. I'm really happy to be here. It's good. You didn't seem happy when you walked in. Oh, I wasn't happy when I walked in, man. Traffic was an absolute beating this morning. I meant to text you. Thanks for not.

What I would have done, I simply would have gone a different route. Yeah. When the traffic gets bad, sometimes I go around it. It's crazy because when I'm stuck on a highway in traffic, I should have just driven over the barrier there and popped down to the next highway. So you understand. Yeah, a good 30 feet down.

Or something else I like to do is just leave a little earlier. Wow. Actually, that's weird. That's the hustle mindset. It's weird. I left about 25 minutes earlier than I usually do, and I still showed up at the same exact time as I usually do. This sounds like the guy who left at regular

time is trying to put off Grind Boy vibes. I texted y'all. I texted y'all from traffic. We don't know that. There's no time stamp. I was on your Snap Map and it showed you at home and you were like, oh my god, traffic's so bad right now. Woke up late. Oh, man. Snap Map was fun

for a minute until everyone just went ghost on it. Just had a late night eating spaghetti. Yeah, because everyone got exposed for being stupid horny on it. Everybody waking up at other people's houses. Yeah, you don't live there. Snap is so bad. I was looking at it this morning because I did. Stop looking at it. I somehow managed to not get caught in traffic,

even though Dylan and I take pretty much the same way. Dave, you're the only 30-plus-year-old that's on Snapchat. You know that. I've got friends on there who are 30-plus. Do you do it for the news stories? The news sections on there are terrible. I have three high school friends who use a lot of Snapchat. You need to stop Snapchatting with high schoolers.

Well, one of them is not actually in high school. Her daughter is, but she's been impersonating her for the last three months. Oh, that's sick. Is her clout score just through the roof? Dude, she's viral. She's viral status. Dude, you know, I had an issue on the road the other day. You guys want to hear a story of karma?

I actually feel really bad that this happened to this lady. So I was at Central Market picking up some groceries, and this lady cut me off in the parking lot, and I was kind of like, what the hell? What the hell? But then she went and cut off the person next to me, too, and that person had a very big case for getting even more mad than me. And I did one of those exchanges with the people where I look at them,

and I'm like, dude, what was that? You've got to be kidding me. Are you the dumbest person alive? You know when you get embarrassed on the road and you do something wrong and you just try to speed off? Yeah, like when you're looking at your phone and you realize the light's been green for five seconds and you just floor it? Yeah.

So that's what this lady did, and she tried to floor it. And when she floored it, the back of her car came open, and all of her groceries spilled out onto North Lamar. And it was just a bloodbath. There was lettuce everywhere. Did she keep going? No. She pulled into the Rudy's on North Lamar and then assessed the situation.

She didn't latch it all the way? No. No. What a dum-dum. Dude, hundreds of dollars worth of groceries in her back. Yeesh. Time out. Where is there a Rudy's on North Lamar? Across the street from Central Market. Figure it out, dude. What are you doing?

Dude, come on, bro. I'm asking a question. You don't go up on North Lamar's. Why do you care? I just didn't know. The only Rudy's I know is... Get out of my hood, dog. I'm not going to go to Rudy's because it's very average. It's fine, but it's average. Wow, dude. It's serviceable. It's good. If you're in a pinch and you're craving brisk.

For what it is. They're brekkie tacos. For what it is, it's really good. I'll say it. Okay, then what is it? Define what is is. It's borderline fast food barbecue. It's not freaky fast, though. That's why I said borderline.

It's flirting with fast. It's quick. It's good. It's still kindaky fast, though. That's why I said borderline. It's flirting with fast. But it's quick. It's good. It's still kind of expensive, but it's not La Barbecue expensive. It's not Terry Black's expensive. You'll get some dope brisket, man. Their cream corn. Are you kidding?

Are you kidding? I could see you hating cream corn. Fuck you. You voted peas the other day, my dude. Who eats fucking peas? Peas are good. Peas are good. Peas are good. Peas are definitely fine.

Peas are for retirement homes. Put a little butter melted in there. Not a little butter, David. I go off with the butter. Hey, when you put butter on anything, it's going to taste okay. Hey. What's the point? Hey.

A little Kerrygold grass-fed. Shut up, dude. Just melted. Salted or unsalted, my guy? Ooh, for the peas? For the peas, I'm getting a little crazy and I'm going salted. I did one of those coffee bombs, those butter bombs in here.

Y'all done one of those? You heard about these things? Don't think I'm a butter bomb baddie. I remember when we were doing these six years ago. Yeah, they're pretty solid, man. Yeah, I've been drinking Optimized coffees for about half a decade now. They're pretty solid. I gotta say, be careful, though. Remember when you were eating three avocados a day

and you put on like 18 pounds? Sneaky cows. David, what don't you understand about me being built different? Well, you weren't. You had to stop eating avocados. I'm different. Yeah, after you started eating avocados, you were built very much different.

Well, I know. Here's the thing. You're spilling out of your Cheetos. I'm going to call somebody out. Somebody might be working out in a tank top now. What? Are you kidding me? Are you showing off your perfectly tiny arms?

I have exactly one tank top. I wear it maybe once a month. And yesterday I happened to run into Dave and Sydney, my ex. And they're both like, ah, tank top, huh? Both of you guys. Does she work out a lifetime? She just joined, yeah. She called me out from the tankie.

I'll put out big tankie vibes, though. She called you out for the tankie. Yeah. Okay out big tanky vibes, though. She called you out for the tanky. Yeah. Okay. I don't like what you're doing. What? God. I was tanked up.

I'm going to measure the circumference of your arms, and then I'm going to re-measure the circumference of your arms at the end of the summer. And if they're not smaller, I'm going to be fucking pissed. What are you going to do? Look at mine, dude. I know, and they're not smaller, I'm going to be fucking pissed. What are you going to do? Look at mine, dude. No, they're beautiful. They're beautiful. Look at these things.

Are you kidding me? Say thank you. You have to work hard to have this little definition. It's impressive. Thank you. Is it true you're sleeping in a swaddle to keep them from moving around at night? Yeah. He's trying to atrophy his muscles, his arms.

Yeah, I have Sally swaddle me right after she does Fritz every night. It's perfect. Can you imagine if someone's like, all right, we're going to swaddle you and you're going to have to go to bed? I would freak out. It's essentially getting put in a straitjacket. Yeah. That's exactly what it's like, yeah.

Why are we cool with just putting babies in straitjackets? I might be goat status right now when it comes to doing my swaddles. Sally said, she was like, dude, your swaddles have been on point lately. Well, the swaddle basically does it for you. No, no, no. The Velcro and whatnot. If you think that, you're just. That's sick, dude.

Wait. You're a swaddle boy. What age do you stop doing the swaddle? I don't know, David. I'm a new father. About six or seven, probably. Is Parkstow getting swaddled? Yeah.

Yeah. No, I mean. Not before they turn one. You swaddle them and then drop them in the cooler? The bison cooler? Yeah, Park sleeps in the bison coffin. Swaddle stays on. They call it the casket, though.

Okay. Should we do some programming notes, of which we skipped on Monday? I don't want to. I didn't like the feeling I had when I realized that I some programming notes, of which we skipped on Monday? I don't want to. I didn't like the feeling I had when I realized that I missed programming notes on Monday. Well, Dylan was just on fire, so. Hey, can I get one off the top real quick? I'm wearing the hat right now. Rowback, backer 20.

We'll get you 20% off. Damn. Do people forget that? It is sweat season, which means it's moisture wicking season, which means that it's rowback season. My weekend in fun, not to spoil it, but I'm going to be wicking moisture. That's swag. Are you serious? Yes.

Always make sure to trim your wicking moisture. Via rollback. That's big. Backer 20 gets you 20% off, David. Boom. Also, can you guys go follow Circling Back Pod and Wash Media on the Grom? Just do it. Like, we're stacking followers lately,

not to brag. Maybe we'll post the Do Not Come meme in a few days. Yeah, think about it. Yeah, we probably will. Yeah, be looking for it. Also, if y'all want to leave a review or five-star rating, honestly, we've had a really good run of reviews lately, and I have to say over the last week, kind of simmered down a little bit. I need some more love from the squadron.

Maybe we've got to earn it. We've got to earn the reviews. That's something. We've got to look in the mirror sometimes and be like, dude, why haven't we earned some more love from the squadron. Maybe we've got to earn it. We've got to earn the reviews. You're right. That's something we've got to look in the mirror sometimes and be like, dude, why haven't we earned some more five-star reviews? We need David R. from Houston to start reviewing the pod. That's true. If you leave a review in the near future, let us know that we earned it. If you have a direct line with David R. from Austin, please get it. Not this one, the other one.

Dude, our last review was from Duffel Bag Boy on May 29th. We don't have any June reviews. Go and get your money. Are you kidding? What's your problem, everybody? This is on y'all, not us. It's kind of embarrassing. What's your deal?

Also, go tell a friend about the podcast. Come on washmedia.shop. I'm not saying that we're going to do something special for Father's Day that's coming up quickly, but, like, low-key. Dude, we're all poppies in here. This one's for the dads. It's the first time, dude. Aw, how about that? Can't wait for Father's't wait for father oh you guys your first father's day yesterday sally hit me with the hey

so i haven't really gotten you anything for father's day i was like well i got your first one she's gotta go big okay i got told to get you a rolly i didn't go that that's what i said i was like well i guess i'll return the cartier stuff that I bought you for your birthday. I got the, I don't know if it's going to be delivered on time. Love that. And I was like, honestly, I was like, let me just go play golf and I'll be fine. I pulled that move more than once. I am the king of doing that, and I feel horrible about it every single time. You ever get like a printout, like, hey, this is what I got you.

It'll be here in three or four days. No, that's almost more disrespectful when you print it out. Yeah, no, just tell me. I don't need a tangible item to represent it. There's not a stand-in that's going to be significant. And most importantly, guys, Patreon. Patreon.com slash Circling Back Podcast. It's bachelorette season.

It is. We did something that not a lot of podcasts are doing because we're built different and we have the hustle mentality. And that's a little something I like to call doing two episodes before the premiere like we're just bad boys of content not only did we break down the guys before we met the guys we broke them down after and talked all about the premiere we had the ultimate girl gang up in there we have chris harrison getting out the 25 million dollar payout you know let me just say shout out to randy and the interns for putting the studio back together after i just came in here

with a flamethrower and just torched it with my bachelorette takes true dude you're like earthworm jim in here just clearing shit out i was toe jamming earl yeah go find out which suitor i called a dork like seven times within one minute go find out there's some big dork faces on this season it's on patreon hey i think i know what I'm getting for Father's Day. What are you getting? Judging by the six texts that I have, looks like I'm getting the gift of buying patio furniture. Sick.

Dude, that's sweet. Just got like seven links sent to me. Dude, that's perfect. That's tight. Cool. Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you set your house up so we can come see it? How about that? He hasn't moved in yet. I know. That's what I'm saying.

Move. Move, bitch. Get out of the way. Okay. Stop. You don't have to stop. I'm sorry. I want to see the crib, dog.

That's all I'm saying. We'll do a room raiders. I'll let you raid my room. We'll love that. Saw some things I like. I saw some things I didn't like. How many times did they have to, like, you know when know when they like busted in and take the people out from room raiders like how many people were cranking during that time they're like i gotta reshoot it

act surprised when we come in this time and like they do it again and the guy's like still cranking like dude and he's like dude what are you doing i'm not i'm not doing anything and then kamala's like something on my phone kamala gets in there and she's just like... I don't know if Kamala was on Room Raiders. What would she say if she was, though? I don't have it queued up. No, I don't think she was on Room Raiders. I think she was probably locking up low-level drug offenders at that time. See, we give it to both sides.

Got him. Give it to both sides. Got her. Dude, that's my thing, man. It's like both sides, man. Just... For sure. Dude, that's my thing, man. It's like both sides, man. Yeah, dude. For sure.

Dude, they're all crooked. I mean, that's just kind of facts. Yeah, they're all crooked. I got to have a tree removed. So maybe after I have the tree removed, then I can have the lads over and play some bocce ball. If you want me to just come and rip it out of the ground, I will. Really? That's kind of weird because I'm kind of on an initiative of planting more trees and you're just taking it.

Yeah, what's the deal, man? It's dead. I'm going to plant 1,000 trees for every one tree you rip out of the ground. Check out my new credit card. You like the CO2 gases just filling the— Have you tried watering it? Yeah. Surprisingly, given the eight inches of rain, it didn't grow anymore.

Maybe you over-watered it. Maybe you should put it in rice. Soak up some of yeah put a rice around the base i actually had a guy come look at it today i was like how's it looking he's like not good is it a big boy yeah i mean it is a front or back front oh shit oh yeah we're about to we're about to go it's gonna be landscape season if you want me to pull it out with the with the forerunner i'll do it actually there's that there's that jeep in the parking lot with a winch dude she would she would love to pull it out with the 4Runner, I'll do it. Actually, there's that Jeep in the parking lot with a winch. Dude, she would love to pull it out. Let's winch it, dog.

Dude, you just got so horny. Dude, can't we just winch on a car? What are you talking about? Whatever you were doing there, you had to look in your eye. Dylan over here trying to act like he drives a 4Runner and not an F-350. Seriously. I'm a 4Runner, man. It's got four-wheel drive, though. No big deal.

Dylan drives an F-350 with a pair of Red Wing work boots tucked in between the bed and the cab. I hate that move so much. It's tight. This guy wears boots. This guy's been doing some work today. That's tight. Do you have a Trout Unlimited sticker on there, too?

Trout Unlimited? Whatever it is. Ducks? It's Mike Trout Unlimited. Is it Mike Ducks Unlimited? I can see them having a Trout Unlimited. trout unlimited sticker on there too trout unlimited whatever it is it's mike trout unlimited yeah my ducks unlimited i can see them having a trout unlimited there might be but no i like i like it when you drive by like some like some like westlake kids who are like probably going to round up and they're they've got their work boots in the trucks like yeah man you've been out working all day dad on the on the job site man you guys just wrong me so hard

trout unlimited is not only a thing but it's a very successful thing. They have a budget of $50 million. I just thought you would get it mixed up with Ducks Unlimited. You didn't read that? You just knew that off the dome? Yeah. Well, everyone knows, dude, it's a U.S. nonprofit organization dedicated to conservation of freshwater streams, rivers, and associated upland habitats for trout.

Of course. So Fly Fishing Charlie is probably well aware of Trout Unlimited. Yeah. You guys are trying to limit trout, and it couldn't be me. It's so sad thinking about Mike Trout now. He's just the goat. He's straight up borderline low-key boat status, best of all time. And he's in California just not doing anything.

What do you mean he's not doing anything? If I'm boat status, I want to be sitting here. Well, he's hurt, but I'm saying they're not making noise out there. Yeah. They could be. I want to be sitting here. I'm saying they're not making noise out there. Yeah. They could be. I haven't followed much baseball. He's still mid-key goaded, though. No, he's low-key boat status, like I said.

Hey, speaking of sports, are you guys familiar with the sport of business? It demands excellence from your craft and your wardrobe, and your fit needs to be versatile, blending timeless style and comfort so that you look as good as you feel, and for that there is Cuts clothing. They've taken the classic men's fashion staple, the plain tee. You guys ever heard of these?

Yeah. They're t-shirts. We caught Randy on the one day of the week that he doesn't have Cuts on. Dude, seriously, Randy's like living in Cuts. It's a company shirt. He's wearing a company shirt. We'll allow it.

Well, they took the plain tee, they refined it, and they started combining premium quality with a minimalist aesthetic. Your aesthetic is trash, Dylan, unless you're wearing cuts. I don't think that's part of the copy. No one just wears tank tops now. Yeah. I don't think they have tank tops, but they have a lot of other stuff.

They've got crew sweatshirts, shirts, polos, hoodies. They've got it all. And it's for the man who works hard, plays hard, and never settles for less. You need to stop settling for less if you're going to keep wearing cuts. Again, that's not part of the copy. Just stick to the script. Do they have anything that's like wrinkle-free, though? Like a wrinkle-free polo?

Like a special material? Actually, they do. It's called the Pika Polo, David. I need that. Maybe you should cop that because you're always wrinkled up and you look like an idiot. No offense. You look like your wardrobe comes out of Micah's drawer. I was going to make that joke.

In the pool house. Oh, come on. Oh, yeah. And I just get served up to Brittany T. Yes. Can we talk about that after this? We can. They do have a Pika polo.

It's a design that keeps you fitted for the office, the golf course, at home, the gym, or even your next hot date. You guys going on hot dates at all? Cuts is premium with a purpose. Each piece of clothing is designed with custom-engineered fabric, expertly graded for the perfect fit, arming you for every challenge and opportunity that life brings you. It's not just a lifestyle. It's not just clothing.

It's office leisure apparel for the sport of business. Get 15% off your first order by going to cutsclothing.com. That's cutsclothing.com for 15% off the first order by going to cutsclothing.com slash steam. That's cutsclothing.com slash steam for 15% off the only shirt worth wearing. Are you a little bummed that Cuts trademarked the sport of business before we did? Not really. I'm glad someone has it at least. Yeah, I like to know it's in good hands. Hey, but just like real quick, intern Adam rolls in here, sunglasses all the way inside the stew like he's a record producer or something.

Well, dude, he looks like he produced. He told us the other day he lost his regular glasses. Oh, are those script? So he has to go with his script ones. That's kind of dope. I know. I respect it. I know.

They're not transition lenses. Like, he'll be working on a video like an hour into being here. He's got to sacrifice seeing everything just really dark inside for being able to see clearly. So, okay. So there was like a three-week period when we were moving into a new office at our previous employer that we had to like find other places to record the pod one of them was the pool house michael was living in at his buddy danny's uh thriving mansion and um so we're recording there we we're doing our bachelorette stuff our bachelor stuff and uh brittany t i don't know if you remember her.

Which you can find on patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Highly recommend if you like just takes you're not going to hear anywhere else. We had Brittany T on, so she drives over. We had a mutual guy who listens to the pods, friends with her. She lives in Austin. She comes over, do the pod, and honestly, I wouldn't have done it if I were her because Cause the whole thing was sketched the pool house. It wasn't dirty or anything,

but just, it was this time. It was weird. We're sitting around in like office, like little, uh, fold out chairs. And,

uh, she does it. And then like afterward, Mike is like, Oh, you want a shirt? And he walks over to a drawer, pulls out a shirt,

like in a tiny drawer, not like a big drawer. And it's this wadded up t-shirt. That is the most rank, more wrinkled than anything J-Bone ever wore to Grand X. And he just like presents it to her. J-Bone had some all-time bad pants that were just clinging to his calves. And he just presented her this shirt that I don't even know if she accepted the gift. And that was my favorite Micah moment.

He would not like hearing that that's your favorite micah moment i think he's still embarrassed about that he said he panicked he like stood up and you could tell like he's regretted even standing up i gotta do something now panic micah is the best kind of micah can we talk about billionaires real quick you're not one. Yeah, there aren't many of them out there. There's hundreds. We've had billionaires doing bad boy shit lately. For real, for real. We got Zuck throwing spears

and shooting crossbows. Bezos is going to space. Elon's just doing Elon things. I have to ask the question. Who's the most bad boy billionaire out there? Who's the baddest billionaire? Well, it's definitely not Zuck. No, I think you're wrong there.

It's hard to look super dorky throwing a spear, but he managed to do it. So you're telling me that if Zuck is throwing a spear at you, which he seems to be very accurate, that you're still just going to talk shit to his face and then you're just going to have a spear through your chest? Have you seen 300? The movie? Yeah. Yeah. It was was a movie what else would it be i don't think i don't think he would get i don't think he would get a role for that one what don't they like you haven't seen the broadway production of 300 i'd probably watch that that's just thunder from down i was gonna say yeah it gets raunchy real quick it's between spears though bezos. Why, dude? Zuck is out here just practicing his primal combat. Elon's a fake bad boy.

I really dislike Mark Zuckerberg. Elon's not a real bad boy. Zuck is clearly the answer here. Stop. Because not only, as I just learned, is he a short king, 5'7"? Is that correct? He's a short fellow. You should know, Mr. High Guy.

So he's listed at 5'7"? He's 5'6". Yeah. Not only that, but he's clearly gotten into Rogan. Remember a few years ago, smoking the meats, probably firing up a Traeger, and now he's got the compound bow and then the spear thing. His next move is to relocate to Austin. They have an office here.

Yeah, they have an office here, 500 acres in the Hill Country. I would not be shocked if that happened. Some people call it the Hill Country. I call it home. What was Will's text the other day about this? It was Zuck's doing ABC, and then Elon and Bezos are doing XYZ. They're in space. Yeah, like Elon's sending shit to space, Bezos are doing X, Y, Z. They're in space. Yeah.

Like, Elon's sending shit to space. Bezos is going to space. And Zuck is in Hawaii throwing spears at, like, beer cans. With, like, noise-canceling headphones on. That's the most egregious part of the entire video. Like, he's either wearing noise-canceling headphones to not hear himself squealing as he throws his fucking spears, or he's listening to something. He's probably listening to Rogan.

Dude, that's why he said it to music, that video, because he was like, It sounds like Fritz trying to get out of his swaddle. There's like a Black Rifle coffee sitting over there, too. Doesn't he have the kettlebell with the monkey face on it? Oh, absolutely. too doesn't he have the kettlebell with the monkey face on it yeah oh absolutely like i just i feel like zuck is just if if being a billionaire is a pissing contest which i think 99 of being a billionaire is just winning the pissing contest i would lose that contest i pee so much you do pee a lot you need to you need to keep it in but elon is zuck is losing

this right now elon is kind of keeps setting the bar i think because bezos is like all right fuck this. Elon, he's sending all these things into space. I'm going to go to space. He has to one-up him with this. Go to space? Go to space. Space is not go to.

It's terrifying. I don't know, dude. Are you sure? Space is scary, man. It might be good, though. You've never even been. Yeah, and I'll never go. And you said you'd never go.

I'll never go. I saw a lot of people responding to us asking the question if you'd go to space, and I'm kind of bummed out that so many people are not down with going to space. I'm fine with Earth, dog. Earth is fine. It's not perfect, but it's what we got. It's safer down here. Wow, man.

That's so pragmatic. Do you think Zuck's trying to put together a plan to go to space before July 20th when Bezos is heading up there? That would be tight, dude. Fuck you. Dudeuck's trying to put together a plan to go to space before July 20th when Bezos is heading up there? That would be tight, dude. Dude, a space cucking. He sends a selfie from space? Space Cuckerberg. God, I would hate to see Mark Zuckerberg's fucking face in space

in a selfie. What if he was up there, but what if he had the sun block on his face like he did when he was surfing? Remember that video? Just in case the atmosphere's gonna torch his face remember when when instagram launched like the uh the filters like the little fun the fun ones you get like put a hat on you or a beard or whatever and zuck was trying it out and did it like a selfie video talking about what the filter's on he could not have been dorkier in that moment than his response no he's the biggest

dork on on earth he is no that's why he No, he's the biggest dork on Earth. He is. No. That's why he started Facebook. He's the opposite of that. That dude Dylan was roasting who's on The Bachelorette. Oh, yeah, that guy. Who? You've got to find out on Patreon. If Dylan ever says you have dork face, like, I apologize.

It's over. Yeah. You can't come back from that. No, you're done. If you can have – okay you cancel Zuck Bezos Elon oh I honestly that might be on the next pod we record that's where somebody called it was something like that definitely canceling Zuck no I Stan's up Elon's too weird I think I have to mute Elon especially cuz like

he's fucking with our money I want to mute his his twitter fingers man he's manipulating my fake currency bullshit true i might mute him on twitter i encourage everyone to mute him on twitter so that he can't manipulate our crypto he's too much influence man yeah i don't like it's a tough pill to swallow to try to stand bezos though although dude low-key power move just never paying taxes just finding all the loopholes why can't we find loopholes it's almost like he can afford really good accountants that just take his money offshore and shit. Can we get that? Maybe.

Why aren't the top 25 people in America not paying taxes? Bezos is the best at it. Not paying taxes. Dude, is that why he's going to space to open up an off-world trust account? Can you imagine having a swiss bank account at this point dude that's so embarrassing you gotta have a mars bank account no taxes up

there got it's just it's just different it's the wild west up there or the wild north elon's just too weird to be a bad boy like super bad boy i might have to go with bezos on this is he a bad boy because he doesn't try like these other guys other guys are clearly, like, midlife crisis, even though Zuck's, like, my age. Although he might be way older, like, your age. How old is he? We're almost the same age. How old is Zuck?

I asked the question. 37. I don't know. Zuck? 37. Oh, he's Dylan's age. My age. It almost is.

Like I said. No, Dylan's, like, said. Dylan's like 47. Got him. I wish I would have got a picture of you in that tank. You're the Bill Gates guy, though. I look dope in that tank. You're the Bill Gates guy. Tell everybody how dope I look.

No, he's the Steve Ballmer guy. There's nothing wrong with Ballmer, right? Pretty cool. Pretty cool, man. Pretty damn cool. Dude, I like Balmer. Except for he does the opposite of what Kamala Harris wants you to do. Every time just a layup happens, like two minutes into a regular season game,

he just is over there just exploding. Yeah. Acting like he's never seen such a thing. He acts like every one of the Clippers is just like one of his kids scoring the first basket they've ever scored in a basketball game. And then his crew of, like, yes men, they're, like,iving him and, like, kind of looking at each other like, dude. It's weird. Does Dave have a low-key vendetta against Ballmer for any reason?

Check out Too Much Dip. Yes, I do. Yeah, I think he dislikes the Clippers at this point. I dislike him more than I dislike any of their players. That's big facts. I support Kawhi in his endeavors because he just shit on San Antoniotonio and i thought that was entertaining agree what's your problem agree you guys stole championships from us dog stole or won it depends how you look at it i'm allowed to have beef with them i respect what they've done over in san antonio got a funny business got a pop but i

didn't want i didn't want kawaii just to like keep that train going i was kind of happy that he was like nah he stepped on that doofus' foot. Then everyone's like, oh, my God, he's going to Canada. Oh, he wanted to go to L.A. Now he's going to Canada. What an idiot. And then he won a championship. He won a championship.

How did he get hurt? He stepped on that douchebag's foot. I forgot who it was. Somebody ironically Bruce Bellend him? Yeah, that's right. That's right, San Antonio. I remember. Wow. Big facts. Bruce Bellen'd him. Yeah, that's right. That's right, San Antonio. I remember. Wow.

Big facts. Bruce Bowen, dude. He just played crazy defense and hung out in the corner and hit threes. Just buried threes. He's the original 3 and D. Bruce. People still calling their kids Bruce these days? That's a good name.

Hey. Ross's dog. Meet Bruce. Ross's dog is... Rocking with Bruce? Just a tiny little lad. Bruce does not like most people. There's just some names that just babies can't have, and Bruce is one of those.

Like, let's go through the list. I disagree. Bruce. You have a baby Bruce. It's kind of... Baby Bruce. It's kind of an alpha name, actually. Was the name of my child.

Ah, well, my baby back, baby back. Baby Bruce. It's kind of an alpha name, actually. Was the name of my child. I won't. Baby back, baby back. Baby Bruce. Bruce solves. Stop. That was good. Stop. That was bad. Sometimes you got to live Moss.

Zuck needs to go to space or get the fuck out. He's doing Portal. You could convince me he's an alien anyway. Facebook Portal. What's doing Portal. You could convince me he's an alien anyway. Facebook Portal. What's Facebook Portal? It's like the thing that connects to your TV where you can talk to people.

It's more than that. Like FaceTime? Is that just FaceTime? It's, I think it's like Super FaceTime. Tim Apple already did that. Are you guys thinking

about doing the VR stuff? Are you guys going to dip your toe into virtual reality? No, I don't think so. I think it's a slippery slope. Dylan was a VR Troopers guy when everybody else was a Power Rangers fan. Dave wants to do the VR porn real bad.

He was telling us about it the other day. That's unnecessary. Dude, we're a sex-positive podcast. Yeah, why would you shame me? I support Dave wanting to do VR porn. Okay, what did I say exactly? Tell me exactly what I said. You said, I'm going to do that VR porn shit shit that's what you said i'm sorry man i think the i think portal is like a

video calling device how do you how do you know though i don't know what else do you know about it it's like it's like all of them feature like AI-powered smart camera and smart sound technology, enabling a camera to recognize people and follow them around the room. Okay. This is a little intrusive. It seems a little voyeuristic. I don't know if I like this. How do you guys feel about the new Apple changes to like iMessage and shit? Now Android users are going to be able to get on FaceTimes and stuff.

They are? I like that. What I don't like, I don't know. Have we talked about the reply feature in iMessage? I love it. I like it, but there's a better way to present it. Well, they've updated iMessage, David. Maybe they confronted that.

David, shut up, man. You know it's bunk, man. I don't want Android people to be able to FaceTime. I do. I want to excommunicate them. My sister has an Android, and I would love to FaceTime her. Okay, my sister and brother-in-law, now that you mention that, and they both have Android, and I got a little niece over there now.

Can we talk? Maybe I can propose this, Dylan. Okay. Maybe iPhone users get five invites, and we can invite X amount of people to be on FaceTime. Wow. So not all the Android people can have them. I just like being able to shit on Android people as much as possible.

I couldn't agree more. Oh, thanks for sending me this tiny blurry video that i'm never going to watch because we have different i love listening to your video yeah very cool everyone talking like oh why can't we do facetime voicemail oh man if only you could send videos you can mark messages unread now that's super dope that's honestly the best feature that they've come up with in years yeah you tweeted about it recently i can't wait kind of did numbers yeah of course it did numbers you kidding me dylan did yeah i'm always doing numbies dog i don't know i don't know if you're always doing numbies. Dude, I was flirting with Vi's status. Dude, you were day one internet.

That's true, man. Me and Al Gore. Dude, I... He invented it. Dude, just giving it to both sides, man. Just fair. Shouts. Just catching strays.

Can we talk about our friends over at Ritual real quick? Yes. I got some breaking news. My wife is officially on Ritual. I'm a over at Ritual real quick? Yes. I got some breaking news. My wife is officially on Ritual. I'm a big time Ritual boy. She's paying cold hard cash for it. She's actually using our promo code, which is big. Ritual's a multivitamin company that you know and trust.

They have protein powders. You know, protein powders in general can feel a little intimidating. It's that whole no pain, no gain kind of thing. I don't like pain in order to gain stuff. I just like to gain. Personally, I don't like pain. But like Rit. I just like to gain. Personally, I don't like pain. But like ritual, they're coming correct. Their formulas are opaque.

Do not. They're not just a powder. But the truth is deep down, as in cellular level deep, we all need protein and it's about more than just muscles. So their team of scientists, hello Harvard, ever heard of it? It's an IV. They're in the science factory just whipping up work. They reimagagine protein from the

ground up and inside out and now and now it's made for who it's made for and why it's needed the result is delicious plant-based protein offered in three premium formulations for distinct life stages and unique nutrient needs yeah i switched to pbp a while back and i've actually really enjoyed the ritual plant-based protein why do you think I wore a tank top to the gym yesterday? I don't know, Dylan. It looked like you hadn't done laundry or something. I've been hitting that ritual teen. That's why.

Okay. I had to show them off, man. I've been scared to buy protein powder my entire life just because I don't really know how to dip my toe into that. It has never taken protein vibes from you. Dan probably has some he could loan you. Yeah, it would give me a heart attack. What were you saying? protein vibes from you. Dan probably has some he could loan you. Yeah. Give me a heart attack.

What were you saying? Dude, these are made traceable. You deserve to know what you're putting in your body and why. They're one of a kind visible supply chain. You always know what's in their formulas,

where the ingredients come from, why they're included. These support daily health for tomorrow as much as today made with nutrients to support bones, brains, and muscles and help maintain muscle mass as you age, Dylan. That's all you need is bones, brains, and muscle.

As you age. They have a thoughtful, purpose-built formulation. It's clean. They got 20 grams of pea protein, dog. You were out on peas like, I don't know, 10 minutes ago. Sometimes I double up. He's not on pea protein. Sometimes I'll go twice that amount and go 40 grams of pea protein.

Dude, that's so unnecessary, but I like that you're just stacking. I don't care. It's more than a recommended amount. I don't mind. The best part about this, though, it just tastes good. They got delicious handcrafted vanilla. Can you imagine eating vanilla that's not handcrafted? Mm-mm.

Direct from farmer vanilla bean extract sustainably harvested in Madagascar. Whoa. No one else is doing that. Great movie, even better vanilla. I've always said that. Yeah, you have. No added sugar. Nothing. Like all Ritual products, the essential protein is soy-free, gluten-free, and formulated with non-GMO ingredients.

So why not shake up your Ritual to make trying something new less scary? Ritual offers a money-back guarantee if you're not 100% in love. Plus, our listeners get 10% off during your first three months. Just visit ritual.com slash circling back to add the essential protein today. That's ritual.com slash circling back. You know, we had some slander on the TL recently. What were they saying?

So I did a segment. It went micro-vi on TikTok. Did it? Yeah, a little bit. You're not even on the talk. How would you know? You're too old for that. I am on the talk. I'm logged into our account, actually. I just realized that when I logged in again the other day. Yeah, we need to change that. We can't just have anybody getting in our account. I'm not going to post any talks. We're fine. I did a little something called real or fake Peloton motivational quotes. And like the ripples of that segment are still

just like hitting people in the face. Still rippling. Yeah. Like people are over in Madagascar like whoa where'd these party waves come from? It must be in the circling back segment. It didn't reach Madagascar. Dude it reached Madagascar. And somebody on the timeline the other day might have thrown some shade at our man Cody who all of my

fake or real things came from. Because Cody appears to be a content machine behind the mic. He is a content machine. Apparently he has a ghostwriter. Someone writes his jokes. Are you kidding? I don't like this. No, I'm okay if he has a ghostwriter. I don't like that people are trying to slander

him for this. He's out here trying to improve people's lives, get them in shape. He's out here grinding on the bike. His delivery is strong because you don't get someone else wrote these jokes vibes from his delivery. He's selling it well.

We have some recent clips. It's the code man. I want to tell you if you can even write. I want you guys to tell me if you can even write this stuff. I think what he's doing is perfection right now. I have a feeling that whoever wrote these jokes listens to this podcast i feel like they do too you guys ready for this one question cody how kinky is too kinky i turned 35 and went crazy so many so many of my girlfriends make fun of me babe as long as you are having Set relations With a consenting

Human adult Then who gives a shit Do whatever And whoever you want to Your friends Are probably jealous Because they're only having Missionary position intimacy

That's on them Stay crusty So we think she's getting Into butt stuff or something What does it mean to stay crusty That's just mega facts right there Do. Stay crusty. So we think she's getting into butt stuff or something. What does it mean to stay crusty? That's just mega facts right there. Do you stay crusty? I don't know.

That's what they do on Call of Duty. Stay crusty. Can I play another one real quick? Yeah. What? You seem scared. No, no, no. I'm not. I'm just still thinking babe you did not survive a pandemic to fake an orgasm okay so you got two options a little bit of show

and tell a little bit of communication you get naked you're like hey let's try some things and like if you like it say so and if i like it i'll say so you communicate use words harder slower softer faster you know what i'm saying if it doesn't work out he's gotta go all right all right is he the horniest instructor there is dude he's goaded he's saying he's a modern day robert frost he's saying if you don't if you don't come you gotta move on to the next the next one basically is what he's saying but first communicate dave what is your problem i'm just breaking down what the code man If you don't come, you've got to move on to the next one, basically, is what he's saying. But first, communicate, Dave. What is your problem? I'm just breaking down what the code man just said, Dave.

He's the one spitting, like, mega facts, and you're over here. Don't say my name after everything. Shut up, David. That's your name, dog. What are you talking about? You don't like your name? You're looking right at me. You don't have to address me formally.

He's making it easier for the people at home. Do you listen to any podcasts where you don't know who's talking about what? Actually, yes. A number of them. The number one podcast I listen to, the soccer one I talked about, I don't know the difference between the other two guys. And I feel like the amount of time that I've spent with them, I should know the difference.

We sound nothing alike, the three of us, which is nice. People say that Will and I should have voices switched. That's what they said in the beginning. I don't think that's true anymore, though. It is weird, man. You listen to a radio show, and you imagine what the faces, how they match up with voices,

and usually you're just way off. It sounds like Wayne's World 2 when they go to visit Handsome Dan and promote Wayne Stock, and he's not handsome at all. He's just this ugly guy who's not handsome at all he's just this ugly guy who's not even listening it's just funny oh it's fun to remember movies dude can you give us some of your favorite movie quotes ooh Wayne's World party time dude you crushed that excellent they

only made two of those right they stopped that was probably enough. Two was enough. Party on. Should have done that with Austin Powers. Shagadelic, baby. Yeah. Those are heat. All those are heat. They're not all heat. You trying to tell me a gold member wasn't heat? Yeah, I am.

Is Beyonce like... I really am. How does Beyonce feel about her appearance in Austin Powers? We don't talk about that. Like, she's got to be... It's not good. She's got to be... She had to take the role.

She crushed that. What are you talking about? They didn't do her any favors with the writing it came off it was just empty like when are you really standing gold member when jay-z and beyonce are walking around their giant mansion like did they just not talk about the lincoln park collabo and they don't talk about i don't i choose to i and i know i I think that might be one of the most played or videos on YouTube or something. Like that is – a lot of people dig that. Dude, we listen to it all the time in high school. I never – Lincoln Park might have been like right after I graduated or like senior year.

And I was already set in my ways. I asked a girl out in eighth grade. And I asked her out on the bus ride back. We were in Chicago for a school trip no we didn't make out never got to that point then she dumped me um but I was like I asked her out and then I asked her what she was listening to after she said yes and we were boyfriend and girlfriend and she's listening to crawling in my skin by Lincoln Park and I was just like uh what did I just get myself into how How does that one go? Everything good? Crawling in my skin.

Dude, your voice is awesome. Confusing what is real. I killed that. It's a great song if you're down bad. If you're a down bad high school kid, that's the soundtrack. I chose to be down bad and listen. Why did Hova collab with them, man? Because they were big.

It was probably a pretty big deal then. We got to be careful, man. People love Linkin Park. I don't care. It's just not my type. Dude, you really don't, man. No, I'm different, though. Are we okay with people slandering Cody?

Yeah. Cody took us to micro-vi status. And then the second this happens, people start coming at his neck. It's a circling back effect. I'm rocking with Cody. Are you okay with – I'm personally okay with Peloton instructors getting all the content they can in order to make my life a little more entertaining. If you need the help of someone who might be a little bit more creative or funnier than you are, I'm okay with that. You're the one delivering it to the people.

He's not doing stand-up. He's doing a fucking Peloton. He's doing a good thing. He's doing a good service for people. And getting paid, I imagine, pretty well for it.

I think Codeman's doing just fine, dude. And he's not trying... I don't think he's ever said, like, yeah, I don't know where I come up with this stuff. It just kind of comes to me.

He's never done that to my knowledge. Do you have any guesses on how much Peloton instructors make? Hey, you think musicians... Or if they live in New York. Hey, guess what?

You think musicians write all their songs because they don't? Nobody does think that, actually. Okay, I'm just saying. I don't even think Taylor writes all her songs. Yeah, if someone comes out with some new heat, like, oh, well, they didn't write this, so shut up. Just enjoy it. I reserve the right to have that take.

George Strait didn't write his 50 number ones, whatever it is. 50, that's a lot. How much do you think a senior Peloton instructor makes? Is it New York? Are they all in New York? I'm factoring in. The Big Apple is what you're saying? Right.

$175K, but they get like hella endorsement shit. I'm going to say $210K. This right here, and I don't know, I don't know how credible this is, but this is actually, no, this is quite credible. It's from Bloomberg. You ever heard of that? I have a Bloomberg machine at my crib. That's cool. I just trade stonks. Okay. Um, it says more senior instructors make upwards of $500,000 in total compensation. Say people familiar with the company, not counting the money they can make from external sponsorships. Okay.

Look at it this way. It's more than I make. Imagine it like how big their audience is that they're reaching. It's almost like a television show host, right? They're reaching a lot of people, millions, hundreds of thousands at a minimum, right, per class. They're mid-key famous. So think about this.

They're entertaining. They're creating content. That is not that crazy. You pay like $40 a month to have a Peloton thing. So you need 12,500 members in order to fund one person's salary for a year.

How many instructors are there? A lot. Are we talking hundreds? Thousands? No. Tens? Tens. Okay. I wouldn't say that's a lot. I'd say like 70. No. But there's likeens. Okay. I wouldn't say that's a lot. I'd say like 70. No. But there's like smaller instructors that probably make like 150 or something like that. Like 5'3 people you're talking about?

Yeah. Olivia Amato. She's very tiny. Okay. She has all her tiny mommies out there. We love them. Yeah. Sure.

Cicada, cicada. No? Still not hitting? It's all right. It's okay. Cody's not going to use that one. He might, though. I don't know.

Somebody listens. I don't know. I can see him going down that route. I mean, like, people in the entertainment world listen. I mean, it's... Is there a Steam Room podcast now? Yes, there is. Does it feature Ernie and Chuck?

Yes, it does. Did they potentially hear it here? Some producer type? Maybe. Does HBO currently have a podcast called touch base with the exact font that we use for touching base yeah they do is it really the exact font i didn't notice i don't know if it's the exact font but i'm i'm also a font snob and so like i'm pretty sure it's it's in the same family of fonts do they do numbers it hard to say i'm gonna go on i'm gonna go on a limb out here and say that we do better numbers from touching base than Touch Base for HBO does.

Why hasn't HBO bought us yet or someone big like that? Man, I think it's just because they're built the same. Are we too edgy? We're goaded and they're not. We're too edgy for them. I don't know if that's right. I feel like we're not too edgy? We're goaded and they're not. We're too edgy for them. I don't know if that's right. I feel like we're not that edgy. We're not.

Did y'all vote in J-Bone's poll the other day for which show he needs to start watching next? Sopranos, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and The Wire. What has he been doing? How has he not watched any of those? It's shocking that he hasn't seen any of those. I know I haven't seen The Wire. Most people have seen one of the four. I haven't seen The Wire, but I still watched all of those after they aired originally because they're goated.

Actually, I watched Mad Men as it came out. Breaking Bad's the real shock. Sopranos and Breaking Bad for me, that's like... The Wire was early, early days of prestige TV, right? It's not that old. But I understand why people haven't seen the sopranos right before soprano if you start watching the sopranos in 2021 like it feels super dated in the beginning and i could see how that could be a turnoff for a lot of people

you should stick with it but i could see why you didn't didn't dive into that like breaking bad and stuff is it ain't dated man i'm about to i'm about to start the last season of the wire it's been a fun ride i can't wait till you're done watching it so you can stop spoiling stuff in the studio for me i didn't spoil anything you spoil everything dude i might have it's all right cody i don't think any less of him when it comes time for me to get a peloton i'm knocking back man but c Cody doesn't write his own material. Right. That's facts.

Although with a comedian, if you find out a comedian has a Ghost Rider. That's different. That is different. That's a creative field. That is a, yeah. If you're trying to pass off your creativity for someone else, is that different than being a Peloton instructor who gets fed a couple lines every show or every ride? Yeah, give this bike instructor a break if he's using a ghostwriter. Who cares?

He's a bike instructor. He's a bike entertainer. Like, calm down, people. Comedians, if they have a ghostwriter, that's not so bad. It's bad if you steal someone's jokes, of course. Stealing is worse, but having a ghostwriter, that's bad. You know what? I'm pretty sure Dave Chappelle, they all think they all do it. They might probably have co-writers, but like somebody –

What's the difference? I mean, collaborative versus like, hey, just write me a joke and I'm going to read your joke. I think they all probably do some of that. Rappers, Drake was famously accused of having a ghostwriter. Y'all should watch Hacks on HBO. I've recommended it numerous times. I probably won't, but thank you. It's good. It's about a ghostwriter y'all should watch hacks on HBO I've recommended it numerous times no I probably won't but it's good it's about a ghostwriter really really yeah a little bit I might watch that I need I need something it's a light comedy 30 minutes didn't you say some of its kind of depressing oh it's a little dark sometimes because it's about someone reaching

the end of their career in in Las Vegas and get get trying to get phased out what was the adam sandler movie with seth rogan where he's the end of the career comedian and it's really like funny people that one was a little bit i didn't watch that one i thought it was like okay dude watch hacks micah recommended it to me and he only watches prestige television no dude for sure i'll watch it okay cool for sure hey do you have any experience with hair loss quite a little bit but what's this about because like there's stuff out there that you can take that helps you keep the hair that you have all right dude looking all plush i see you looking all plush in your uh your newborn picture oh no mister doesn't have to wear a hat in the studio i got sick man no my lettuce i have lettuce concerns which is why keeps is in my in my wheelhouse right now.

Everyone knows I've had this scalp issue lately, and I have worries that this scalp issue could lead to some male pattern baldness. Yeah, you got a shit scalp. And so if there's ever a time for me to understand, like, okay, if I can keep the hair that I currently have, I should be doing that, it's right now. Because everyone knows that two out of three men experience hair loss by the time they're 35.

I'm 34. Look like sticking, dude. Dude, I'm scared. More than 50 million men in the U.S. experience male pattern baldness. out of three men experience hair loss by the time they're 35 i'm 34 clock's ticking dude dude i'm scared more than 50 million men in the u.s experience male pattern baldness i said i'm past that threshold man i'm 37 dog i'm staring right at it yeah you've been down the barrel of that gun keeps off is a simple stress-free way to keep your hair you don't want a stressful way to keep your hair because everyone says that stress makes you lose your hair. So if you have Keeps. It's a vicious cycle.

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You know what else I have? Discrete packaging. So if you got like base, if you just moved in with bae and you're like, man, I don't want her to know that my lettuce is a little thin up here. Yeah. I'll probably tell bae, honestly, but I don't want my neighbors to be like, oh, look who got keeps. Yeah, dang, look at that guy.

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K-E-E-P-S dot com slash steam. Not to flex too hard, guys. Last time I flexed too hard, I popped a muscle in my quad, and I couldn't Peloton for like a week. But not to flex too hard. But we do have a verified follower. Do we? Yeah, she's very active.

She's a reporter. She's covering the greater Louisville area for Wave 3 News. Pronounce Louisville. Do props for saying Louisville. Yeah, you have to say it like you've got peanut butter on your tongue. Dave says Louisville like an idiot. Louisville, that's what they called you. Louisville.

Yeah, she's a DePaul University alumni. I actually got into DePaul, not to brag. That's what they called you. Louisville. Yeah, she's a DePaul University alumni. I actually got into DePaul, not to brag. She's an alumnus. Actually, she's an alumnae. Well. You don't have to say that. No one says it. Just say alumni.

Everyone should say it the right way. She is an alumnae. I say things the right way. Hello, I'm Jill, everyone. I believe Twitter should have a grammar check. Dave thinks singular is alumni. You're the one who worked there. Got him.

I don't know if that plays, but it's good. Well, shouts to Jerica Valtierra, Wave 3 News. She sent us an email that she got that are Vegas odds on notable people being abducted. Dude, how about Wave 3 News? That's fucking, that's sick. Party Wave 3. We have like KXTN. Dude, they should start like an E version, like where Brooke Burke is also a host, and

it's called like Party Wave. Buddy? Buddy? 1998? Someone's going to have to explain this to me. Life was good. How is this real? It's a news release.

Is this real? This is real. She's verified. You can't get verified if you don't spit facts. So the first person on the list is Elon, who we've already spoken a lot about today in another podcast, at 14 to 1. Donald Trump Jr. is at 16 to 1, and he's tied with Joe Rogan and Tyson Fury. Why is Tyson Fury ahead of all these people? Question.

He's the gypsy king per him. If you were to place a wager down, and let's say no one gets abducted, is there no payout? What happens here? You're throwing money away, Dylan. Yes, please do not bet on that. You have to hold on to that betting slip until someone gets abducted. The odds are not 14-1 that Elon Musk gets abducted by aliens. It's more like a zillion to one.

Dylan, it says it right here. It's more like a zillion to one. Dylan, it says it right here. It's more like a zillion to one. What are you saying? You're going to drink a zillion beers this weekend? Yeah. Sick. Ooh, Ghislaine Maxwell 25 to 1. Why is Bryson DeChambeau at 33 to 1?

That's one that I actually understand. He's tied with Boris Johnson and Cristiano Ronaldo. They're like, oh, we need the gift of gangs. Ronaldo is pretty ripped. We need your protein. Dude, they don't need our protein. Dude, aliens low-key have the most beautiful arms. Why would they take Ghislaine Maxwell?

There are no jacked aliens. They'd be like, dude, take her back. What happens if they abduct your person and then they don't want them anymore? They're like, oh, wait, Ghislaine's a shithead. Oh, I see Kamala is 40 to 1. Do you think she's talking to the aliens? Yeah, she sees them approaching with their little beam out in a big field somewhere, and she hits them with a, do not come.

That's what she's doing. I'm not telling you to stop. Okay. She's like, hey, guys. Ooh, Kim Jong-un. How did Deontay Wilder find his name on the list? He's tied with Jennifer Aniston, LeBron James, and Matt LeBlanc. He's the bronze bomber.

Can you imagine Matt LeBlanc? He's more likely to get abducted than our vice president. This entire thing, I don't understand. But Matt LeBlanc being on here, is that just because of the Friends reunion? People are like, oh yeah, Friends. Let's throw the Friends guy on here. He's the Friends guy, right? Yeah. Can you imagine him just cracking jokes in the spacecraft?

Whoa. All of them laughing with their little alien voices that are like... These odds just don't make any sense. You don't think that Tiger Woods is at 50 to 1 to get abducted by aliens? You're trying to tell me that you wage $10 that Kevin Durant gets abducted by aliens, and he does, and it just pays out $500? That's it?

Yeah, you get five stacks. Okay, but it's just the odds are just way off. I don't know if they are, dude. Henry Winkler's at 66 to 1. He's tied with Courtney Cox and Barack Obama. Who's Henry Winkler? The Fonz. You used to love that show as a kid.

Before he dropped the shark. That's where the term originated. People forget that. TV snobs love saying that even though everyone knows it. There's an actual scene where he jumps the shark. He's a guy from Waterboy too, right? He's a coach. where he jumps the shark. Hey. Well, he's a guy from Waterboy, too, right? He's a coach.

Yeah. Good. He's also in Barry. Buddy. He's been in a lot of... He's had a sneaky bit. If I was an alien and I was going to abduct somebody, I would get NoHo Hank for sure. NoHo Hank, yeah.

Soho Hank's different. He's kind of hipster. Yeah. I'm just like, yeah, I totally understand his character. You need to... There's two two shows you need to watch and both have this just generic first names as titles who's jessica lawrence and barry who's jessica lawrence jennifer i think they've met jennifer lawrence yeah i think so this is not valid they you can't mess up her name everybody knows jennifer you don't jessica has she done anything lately let me look it up yeah they're

probably doing another uh what's the? It's also obscene that if our president gets abducted, it just pays out 20 to 1. What, Biden? It should be 20 billion to 1. Hurts no one. Okay. Of course the economy. If I know anything about Vegas, it's that they set their lines in a very efficient manner.

They know what they're doing. Dude, if we were still writing in a content blog in that Kamala Harris speech drop, our headline would be, the vice president wants you to not come. Or does not want you to come. Do not come. And we would think it was so funny and like

4,000 people would read it. That's too high. We would go home and just maybe go get Mexican food. That's got 2,100 page views on it. It really does. But we think it was so – we would just be cracking up at the headline. I don't know. I loved you saying the other day, dude, is Charpe like kind of fucked up right now?

Like is that working? I'm not seeing much of a spike from this. Dan walks over with a baseball bat that he has for some reason at his desk. Here's a question. That was my baseball bat, by the way. Yeah, he totally cucked your bat. No, we still have it. And thankfully we had a boy because now I can display that bat in the nursery.

Baseball bat, kettle bell, and a big jug of donut-flavored protein powder. Not just the biggest jug. Glazed donut-flavored. Like a two-gallon jug. And a rotisserie chicken. And a rotisserie chicken. That's Dan's desk. The Dan Starter Pack.

gallon rotisserie chicken and rotisserie chicken that's dan's desk the dance starter pack uh if you get abducted by aliens say that they like they make a mistake and they get you dylan why would that be a mistake they don't want dylan because he's one of dude they want me i'm built different they just got to see they're like dude what's this guy's secret tank me to your top that's a tank top joke. That was so bad. You're never going to live down the tank. Who do you want to look over in the alien spacecraft and see next to you? Tom Brady? Maybe like The Rock or something.

He'll get us out of there. Dude, he won't, though. He'll be like, hey, just follow me. I got this. Dude, The Rock has no functional strength. It's true. Dude, he's all glamour muscles. Nah, dude.

He can throw down. You look over and Biden's next to you on that spacecraft. It's like, it's over. We're toast. The answer is Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. That's true. Yes.

He would simply make the aliens to go back to Earth. He'd be like, I've got to go back to Earth. What if there's a bunch of cicadas in there and they're just hijacking the plane? That's just not happening. That would be terrifying. Again, we were day one cicada Twitter. You look over and Bryson's just sitting there at 33 to 1. He's like, hey, aren't you the guy that started my games jersey?

It was us. Yeah, you're the functional strength guy. Remember? Wasn't that like Adam's first day on the job? We made him do a cicada meme? Yeah. Like, hey, man, thanks for interning. There's no reason to train your functional strength unless you're an athlete.

You just don't function correctly. What's the point? Just being better. What is the point? Being better, being different. Tell me. Being unique. Like, I'm a podcaster.

I don't need to be able to deadlift 600 pounds. It doesn't make any sense. That deadlifting is not just functional. You know what I'm saying need to be able to deadlift 600 pounds. It doesn't make any sense. That deadlifting's not just functional. You know what I'm saying, though? You do deadlift. I know. Will hates this right now.

I put the fun in functional. My strength is definitely functional. I'm a cardio guy. I put the unk in functional because I am an uncle. Congratulations. If you train your functional strength and you're just like

a regular 9-to-5 guy, you're a loser. Dude, I'm ato-5 guy, you're a loser. Dude, I'm a weekend warrior, man. You're a loser. Catch me out there playing 36, man. That's facts. If my wife lets me. Everyone just wants to look good.

Hey, honey, do you mind if I play an extra 9? All right, I'll be home soon. How many weeks old does your kid have to beat in order to just like throw caution to the wind and play some golf? Are you still navigating that territory? So I got to get this tree removed you should do it yourself i'm not doing my neighbors who have no who have not met i met one guy but i think the next door neighbors would be like oh he's removing the tree himself that's great i've told you all about the the guy that was my buddy's professor in college whose passion in life was removing trees from the ground with his bare hands.

That's what got his juice? He would go out in the forest and find a tree, like a dead tree, and then he would go dig it up with his hands. He wouldn't do it all at once because you couldn't complete that all at once. What the fuck is this guy's problem? So he'd go back the next weekend and continue digging it up. What? Is that the most psychotic thing you've ever heard? That sounds like crystal meth.

Then he put it back together and replanted it. The catch and release of the tree digger. What? That's some fucking Zuckerberg shit. He probably got some big ass arms too. What an idiot. Imagine how dirty his fingernails were.

I don't want to. He probably had his Red Wing boots stuffed between the cab and the bed just in case he needed to get them. Can't just reach down there and get them. You got to have them right there, shoulder level. Am I about to get some Red Wing boots

and put them in the back of my whip? Yeah. I think you should. Next to my Trout Unlimited sticker? It's not the best place to keep your boots, man. It's just not. Should we start a Rum Floaters Unlimited sticker? It's not the best place to keep your boots, man. It's just not. Should we start a Rum Floaters Unlimited? What charity does that benefit?

It stimulates the economy. Okay, hurts no one? Hurts no one. Hurts no one. Is it time? Oh, yeah. It's time for a little This Weekend and Fun? Yeah, I got a no one. Is it time? Uh, yeah. It's time for a little This Weekend in Fun? Yeah.

I got a fun one. Let's talk about Solo Stove, though. Dude, it's presented by Solo Stove, because if you're not using your Solo Stove, you're not having a fun weekend. And this is This Weekend in Fun. Like, these things go hand in hand. There's something that just feels magical about summer nights. Those summer nights.

Night. Maybe it's the gentle breezes, symphonies of animals and insects, or just the warming glow of a campfire. But day or night, a smokeless fire pit from solo star turns a magical summer moment into unforgettable memories. Some of my best memories are just, you know, from being around a fire, a campfire. No one forgets their time at summer camp, David. The friendships, the activities, and most importantly, s'mores.

Oh. The homie and I, we made s'mores not so long ago on our solo stove. Give me some. Yeah, well, it's smokeless. Doesn't he make his with Ritz crackers that he got from the office? No. Can you imagine having a fire pit that had smoke coming out of it? The smoke always follows you around, you know?

How does it do that? How does it know where you are? I don't know. You're all tired and you're like, oh, I'm going to go to bed. And you're like, oh, I got to shower before I go to bed because I smell like smoke. Yeah, I need to wash every single piece of clothing that I wore and then get my car detailed because I got in my car and went home after. Yeah.

So it's not good. No, it's not good at all. Solo stove, though, they create story-worthy moments without the fireside fumes. Stainless steel construction designed to regulate airflow and burn more efficiently. So little smoke, you'll wonder how there's so much fire. They always say where there's smoke, there's fire. Not with solo stove. Where there's fire, there's just straight-up fire.

Wow. You kind of crushed that. Thank you. They're so confident that you'll love it. They offer a lifetime warranty and a 30-day free return policy. That's 30 days. 30 days. The thing about 30-day return policy is that you can return it within 30 days.

It's about one month, actually. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. These things are the bomb. Will, I got an announcement. What? This summer, I'm riding solo. Stove, that is.

Wow. Riding solo. No one needs a reason to gather around the fire, but Solo Stove just took away any reason not to. And now, you can get $10 off and use promo code STEAM at checkout. Just go to solostove.com, and remember, you get $10 off and use promo code STEAM. Hey, the word is out on these things, too, by the way. I see my neighbors with them.

Yeah. Damn, dude. You put out a vibe. Yeah. I don't have a yard right now, so I lent mine to my sister-in-law and her boyfriend. She's never going to give it back. The gift of solo stuff? No, I'm stealing it back.

I told her. I was like, you're only allowed to use this when I come over. Not that I would know because there's no smoke. I always look in the distance and I'm like, are they using my solo stove? I guess I wouldn't know. There's no smoke up in there. This is the only time I don't want the smoke. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend?

Thank you for asking. I have a pretty amazing, excellent weekend coming up. I will be in San Diego. Wow, another vacation. San Diego. Vacation Dilly. This one has happened to be a convenient trip. Bay is actually, she's been there all week.

She has a work event there. I need that gig. Yeah, she's in San Diego for work. And so I have decided to meet her out there, I guess, yeah, tomorrow. What? Nothing. What? Dave and I are children.

Go on with your story. It just goes. It's a good weekend. I don't even know what I said. Anyway, not only am I meeting Bae in San Diego, I am flying with my son, Parks, and Bae's daughter, Lil' Bae. Is Parks just walking around the crib just singing, I just want to fly?

He's not. No, I don't think he knows that particular song. Check my bangs at TSA. So I'm a little anxious. I'm flying with her daughter. Wow. Can I give you some advice? Yeah.

Get to the airport early. Awesome airport lately is bussy. Last two weeks have been bad. That's what I hear. Dude, there's like 90-minute waits just to get through security. What about pre-check? Do the little ones have pre-check? If I have pre-minute waits just to get through security. What about pre-check? Do the little ones have pre-check? If I have pre-check, they should have it too.

We want pre-check. We want pre-check. You know what I also have? I don't know. I have no clue. I also have clear. Hear that, Will. I also have clear.

Okay, well, does your son have clear? Former sponsor alert. Do they have the fingerprints for your son? No. No. So I'm a little anxious about the travel part of it. It's going to be an amazing trip. Yeah, that honestly is giving me anxiety.

Yeah, I'm not jealous of you. I know, I know. I'm mostly worried about the bathroom situation. If I need to go, if I'm at the airport and I need to, you know, tinky. Yeah. What do I do? The tables have turned. You need to.

No, here's the thing. They have family bathrooms, right? Here's what you do. Here's what you do. Not on a plane. Well, you have two options. You can either dehydrate yourself, like really, so when you show up for bed, you're just looking cut as hell. Yeah.

That's pretty tight. No pee inside. Yeah, but at the detriment. Or you can take him to the doggy pads where the dogs pee. Is that what it's called, the doggy pad? I'm not doing that. I'm not going to ask. I thought that was something else.

You're not going to ask your girlfriend's daughter to pee on a pad? No. Okay, that's understandable. But I think airports have family bathrooms, right? Right? Don't tell me. Are you taking a direct flight? Yes.

Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Yeah. What are they going to do to occupy themselves? Does Parks have his Game Boy? Parks has a tablet with games and we're going to do some fun word games that

we have downloaded. My tablet. Word games. Cool. I'm sure he's really jazzed for that. We're still learning how to read. Fucking grammar lesson from Dad. Get him Tetris or something. Dad's going to call him out for using the wrong alumni. She has a tablet as well. Best case scenario for you is that neither of them

have to go to the bathroom before you get on the plane. And then when you're on the plane, you buddy up with the people next to you and you're like, hey, can you just watch my son real quick? I ding the flight attendant. Hey, I need to use the restroom. Can you watch the kids for me? Yeah. What airline are you flying? Southwest.

So you might have to finesse your way. I know. I know. No, because you've got the kids, you can jump to the front of the line. Okay. Nice, dude. So what are you doing in San Diego? It's a low-key power move.

In San Diego, thanks for asking. Are you going to have the best tacos that hashtag Chad's ever had, even though you can't remember the name of the restaurant? No, no. Chad, like, what's good here? I don't know. He's like, I don't know. I think he's like, I don't know.

I've never been. He just knew it was a good taco. What? Which he was right about. No, he didn't say he's never been. He's like, I don't remember what I think he's like, I don't know. I've never been. He just knew what he was right about. No, he didn't say he's never been. He's like, I don't remember what I got.

It's like, you said it was the best taco of your life. You can't have the best something of your life and not remember what it was. Okay. But listen, listen, we're going to the world famous San Diego zoo. Oh,

been there before. It's fantastic. And we're staying, we have a hotel on the beach. And we're going to hit the beach and hit the pool and enjoy the nice weather. Can you do me a favor? Maybe. Can you take a pic of the polar bears for me?

I don't know. I adopted one for my friend as a Christmas gift one year. And so I'd appreciate it if you just like. You didn't get to take it home? No. Yeah. I thought when you adopted it, you got to actually take it. Apparently, you just like have part of the bear and you support it that way. Yeah.

I wonder if I'm still getting charged for that. Is that, like, a yearly fee? Roar. Roar. Is that what they sound like? You know what they say? If it's white, good night. Yeah, good night.

You hear about that day? Anyway, I can't wait, man. Excited to see Bay. San Diego Zoo is something I've been hearing about since I was a kid. I've been a few times. You've been I was a kid I've been a few times you've been? me too I've been a couple times

really? why didn't we go when we were there? I went as a child and then I also went when I was like 24 or 25 well F me I had some time

to kill in Sand Island I've been to the Fort Worth Zoo come link no I've got plans if you want a really good burger in a place that's not really

a child friendly environment you should go to Ho Dad's sounds great man I call it Ho Dad's. Sounds great, man. I call it Ho Dadder's. They cover the—all the walls are covered in license plates, but it's the best burger I've ever had. That's crazy. What'd you have there?

I had a burger. He don't remember. I'm going to get some fish tacos. God, I— Hopefully they're as good as the fish tacos at Matt's El Rancho. Are you going to have a burrito with french fries in it? Probably not. That's how San Diego does it, though.

Probably not. It's papas. Dude, you've got to try it. I'm so excited. I was very hesitant to try that when I went to San Diego. I have to say, I love having some french fries in that burrito. Although I am slightly anxious about traveling with the two kiddos, I am very much looking forward to the experience.

I think it's going to be a fun little bonding experience for the three of us. It'll be a good time. I got breaking news. I think it's going to be a fun little bonding experience for the three of us. It'll be a good time. I got breaking news. I hate to interrupt. Timo has been added to the meme team. Wow! T-Man. Timo. The original T-Man. We should add T-Man. Yeah, T-Man. Really?

Let's just add people we like. Yeah, he probably has another group chat that he just hasn't invited us to. He absolutely does. Who added Portimo to this? He don't want that smoke. Nah, he better put do not disturb on that text immediately. That's going to be embarrassing because that's where Dylan usually talks shit about the interns. True.

That's true. True. He's like, what's their fucking problem? Dave, what are you doing this weekend? Yeah, you have a brutal weekend, I bet. Well, doing some moving. Moving some stuff over. Those are the best. They always say those are the best weekends.

Saturday. Saturday I might be playing the Spanish Oaks member guest. Okay. Wow. All right. Yeah, that's right. Don't they usually invite really good golfers for that? Well, I am a 7.6 handicap, so you're right.

I don't know if you are. I think you're boosting your numbies. I don't know if you are. I think you're boosting your numbies. I shot 80 the other day. With cowboys. Which side? And I didn't even break a window. Got him.

No, I think I'm playing the member guest. Wow, I guess I'll look out for my 2022 invite. What the hell? Talk to Ryan. Man. He's going to hear this. What's Ryan's deal? I even ran into him at the gas station recently, and we had a little conversation. He said you kind of blew him off big time, actually.

Dude, I hope it's really hot that day. It will be. And rainy. Yeah. Yeah. I hope it's just like the worst combination of weather you can possibly have. Yeah, and I hope Dave has the shanks. The fact that you're going to get to do this, play at a beautiful golf course,

doing a member guest tournament, the fact that you get to do this with a newborn, with moving in the pipeline, what are you doing at home? I've been literally moving stuff every night. Damn. Dave's just different. And my mother-in-law is going to be with us this weekend. Oh, that changes things. That's freed me up a little bit.

Even if I got that offer, there's no way Sally's letting me go do that right now. I think I play better golf when I don't play every week because I've been playing good like once a month, and I think it's just because I go in with no expectation and my body feels fine, and I just have fun. Wow. Whereas if I'm playing every week, I'm like,

oh, I've got to improve off of last week. And you overthink it, you end up just sucking. So I'm doing that. I'll probably be watching some basketball is there any f1 this weekend i don't know we got hockey tomorrow day are you sure you want to verify that date yes we yeah that's it could be a series clincher for your vegas knights oh buddy we're ready. Yeah, Dave, we do have F1 this weekend. Ooh, we got pre-checked. What track? Let's go. Canadian GP. Canada.

What's the story there? I don't know. Hard to say. I never got that far in the video game. It can't be worse than Monaco. We do have the Euros coming up. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah.

It's like the World Cup, but just for European teams. It's like the CONCACAF for them. Yeah. Very exciting stuff. Unfortunately, I'm going to miss it this weekend. I'm not going to be able to watch any of it. Nor am I probably not going to watch very much F1 either. Why?

Because your boy's going to a lake house. I kind of forgot when I got jealous of you playing golf that I was going to a lake house. Then I realized I was going to a lake house, and I was like, ah. Isn't I was like ah isn't your home like low Kia Lake House I mean our our apartment complex is literally called that but really but no I'm going I'm going up to I don't even know where it is it's up near the the Fort or as I call it funky town or Cowtown Granberry I don't like cranberries very much I always skip those Lake Whitney no. No. Go cliff hopping. I forget what it's called. It was just a last minute thing.

There was a vacancy and we were like, let's do it. I could name a lot of lakes, man. What's the lake up there that has a weird name that really bothers me but it's very popular? Titicaca? Joe Pool? What? What? What's going to be tougher? You traveling with two kids or me driving three hours in the car with a newborn and a dog that hates riding in a car?

You'll be fine, man. Rosie hates the car, dude. Yeah, but if Fritz needs to pee, he's just going to pee in his little dipe. True. I've got to handle it. No, we're going to feed him at check stops so I can eat some kolaches. Maybe his first lachi? You're trying to lachi up?

Dude, it's the best kolaches in Texas at check stops. Everyone knows that. They know what they're doing. You know what, though? Sometimes it's just a little crowded for my taste. You got to go in the off time. They also have different ways you can get them. Like you don't have to go wait in line. You can go in the other place and just get some that were made like a couple hours ago. Really? Yeah. People don't realize that, you know, but I'm starting. Didn't we go there really hung over after the TGI Fridays? Probably. Bartender thing. I think we got lost trying to exit and get back on the highway and stuff.

Probably. In the sauce? Or just lost? I'm kind of starting my weekend at night, though, on the low. Today? Today. Well, because Dylan's going to be out of town this weekend, or starting tomorrow, we're doing voicemails today, which frees up tomorrow morning.

You're welcome. So I might tie one on tonight. Dude, get into one. I'm going to eat some. Dude, get into one. I'm going to eat some fajitas with Michael Weiner. Thanks for the invite, dog. Yeah, dude, for sure. Yeah, we definitely wouldn't have wanted to do something like that.

No, I hate eating fajitas with my friends next to a pool. Yeah, it stinks. It's not very fun. So don't feel like you're missing out or anything. We just did that Sunday. Well, nobody got fajitas. It wasn't a pool anywhere. You got the taco salad. There's a pool at Matt's All Rancho out on the patio.

You can swim in that. It's a koi fish pond. Whatever. Yeah, Parks dragged me over there like a couple times in a row over there, and I was like, yeah, dude, these are koi fish. I don't know what to say. Kids love koi fish. Don't be koi.

Fish. That's all I got. It's big. Are we we gonna let this dude break news yo brett let's get brett in here brett's in there barking orders and the interns i know he's just chopping it up he's gonna play him patty cake with timo he's not playing patty cake with timo patty cake there he is didn't they used to call you the Baker's man? Because you're a big Baker Mayfield guy. I saw Baker Mayfield at Bolden Acres, which is kind of funny. Like mid-pandemic.

Just having a good time. Is it just him or is it just some random dude that looks like Baker? There's a hundred guys in Austin who look exactly like Baker. It was definitely him because his brother was chilling with a dope-ass dog. That's the dog that went after my dog. He saw a UFO in Lakeway not so long ago. I almost got in my car and went out to investigate when he tweeted that. Yeah, probably wouldn't have been there anymore.

Well, you never know. Yeah, they're fast, were you going to say? You get out there, you just put your hands on your hips looking out like, fuck. I put my hands up on my hips. And I look and I say fuck. That's not how that song goes. That's definitely not how it goes. What do you got for us, Brett?

I don't know, dude. What do you want to do? Lobsters, dinosaurs, or dry scooping? Lobsters are kind of the dinosaurs of the sea. You know, he dressed as a lobster for Halloween. You got the roast claw. You did. Yeah, I did.

I did. What an all-time, like, not panic order Halloween costume, but just thrown together quickly. Just a last-minute success. I enjoyed it was it was kind of goaded yeah look hot as hell wasn't Dave Sam Elliott which kind of mm-hmm precludes the dick saloon Wow anyway more on that later can lobsters get high will the answer is sorta so there's a study done. And by study, it's just this lady in Maine who is doing her own lobsters. There is now a following study that's being conducted right now.

Anyway. Sorry. The point is that they're looking for a more humane way to kill lobsters, Dave. You know, the current fashion is boil them alive. Correct. They want to get them lifted first. Yeah. Basically, the only change is get them really fucking high and then boil them alive. Correct. They want to get them lifted first. Yeah. Basically, the only change is get them really fucking high and then boil them alive.

Oh, no. I have to smoke up my lobster before I eat my lobster dinner. Please don't. Yeah. Just blow a jewel pod in its face. I don't want to do that. It's a little lobster face. So this lady in Maine was like, well, let's see if we can – because she observed that

when you just cook them without getting them really high, they try to like climb over each other getting out of the boiling water. It's pretty sad. Yeah. You don't want to watch it unless you're in a relationship. Don't they scream too? They say it's more of like the boiling water in them is like a teapot. Dude, it's not that bad. Oh, my God.

It's not that bad. You guys are wimps. You're right. I am a wimp. To be fair, like my dad was – we used to do lobster dinners for Fourth of July and New Year's every year. And so I grew up from an early age just thinking it was totally normal to murder your animals before you eat them. Right. That's how it works usually.

So I can just do it not even concerned about it. I've never done it, and it's kind of hypocritical, but I don't really want to see it. Let me do it. Speaking of, let me do it with you, dude. Although I don't go out of my way to get lobster. Let's do it. I enjoy it, but it's not a must-have for me. Oh, it's so delicious.

Since we're on the back now, I don't understand. Lobster tacos. Do you want to do a lobster boil? No, I want to do a crawfish boil. Eh. I know, but more for the effort. More for the... No, no, no. I know, but more for the effort. No, no, no.

I want to go to one. I don't necessarily want to have... I want somebody else to do one. I love crawfish boils so much. The event is fantastic. Yes, that's what I want. The actual food portion for me is just there. It's part of the whole experience, though, man. I know.

It is. And look, I've never not had fun at a crawfish boil. Well. What's crawfish boil season? I feel like it's like midsummer. Isn't it months that end in Y? I don't know. May and July?

I know oyster season is months that have R's in them. Really? I'm Pretty sure. January through July. Or maybe that's confusing it with January through July. They don't rock with March. They just skip March. March has got to be there.

Okay. Is Perla's doing theirs? I think they do it in April. I don't know if they did it this year. Perla's, that's the one you've got to go to. It's like $45. It's overpriced, but they usually get a sick drink. Don't listen to what they say.

It's not overpriced. What are you talking about? Just go to like a friend's one. Don't spend 50 bucks on it. What if he doesn't have a friend who's doing a crawfish boil? Yeah, I haven't caught an invite to any crawfish boils.

I don't even know where to go to restaurants. You can find one. Oh, your new friends are doing crawfish boils and shit? No, they probably do lobster boils, dude. His new friends.

Yeah, that's true. Tad and Co. That's true. They do lobster baits. King crab and lobster. Ooh, that. Tad and Co. That's true. They do lobster bakes. King crab and lobster. Ooh, that sounds good. Crab cakes are phenomenal. Anyway.

Dino nuggets. Ooh, I had some smoked salmon crab cakes the other day. It was a crab cake with smoked salmon inside of the crab cake. Smoked salmon. Brett, it was delightful. Any sauce on that? Like a little remoulade? No.

I ate it on top of a summer salad made with cauliflower rice, some shallots, some apples and some things like that. It was quite delightful. It's not as good as the kale salad at Nobu Mexico, but... Kale! So the deal is the lobsters can get kind of high. What is she getting them? Is she like blowing the smoke into the boxes

that they put them in? The scientific method here is she puts them in a sealed container and uses a mattress pump to inundate the lobsters with vapor containing THC. When you put weed in the water and you made the lobsters into edibles? Is anyone doing lobster edibles? That sounds like a terrible idea. Yeah, that's a lot of work, man.

Anyway, they get really sleepy and they don't move around a lot, but she says the behavior once they get inside the boiling water doesn't seem to change much. They're also concerned about, well, if you pump lobsters full of weed, is that going to put THC in the meat? You might expect that it tastes a little different. It's getting people high. She says she's never served it to customers, but her father tried one and said it doesn't taste like THC. And he took a drug test afterwards and no THC showed up.

Lame. So the anecdotal evidence from one person is that you're probably okay. Lame. You didn't get high from eating lobsters. I guess the search for a more humane way to boil lobsters alive just continues. What else we got? We'll make it our goal. Dylan, I'll save dry scooping for you for last.

You're also a dinosaur guy, but hey, Will, a gargantuan dinosaur was discovered in Australia. Down under. Down under. Some 92 million years ago, Cupid got stuck in the mud. That was, eh, that was all right. That's pretty good. What took him so long to find it?

It's a big-ass thing, right? Yeah. Like, if it's the biggest dinosaur ever, like, shouldn't you have found that a long time ago? Dig it up, dog. What are you doing? It's not that hard. It's like eight feet. No.

No, it's up to 100 feet, David. No way. Yeah. 100 feet. Almost 100 feet long. The length of an Airbus A318 passenger plane. Damn, I was going to ask. I'm really glad they compared it to that because I know exactly how long those are.

Just 100 feet. That does the trick for me. Wait almost. 33 yards. Almost 70 tons. About 10 times more than an African elephant. Does the homie know about this? This is hot off the press.

I don't think he does. Brett could pass as an Aussie. Dave got him a New York Times subscription. Maybe he's got it. They upped their price on their digital. Did they? Kind of like Chipotle. Yeah.

Anyway. He has less diarrhea. That's about it on the dinosaur. Just a big motherfucker down in Australia. What are they calling it? Cuparensis. Cuparensis. Cuparensis. Well, thatis. I eat cuparensis.

That's dope. That onion's blooming. Am I right, guys? You got to think it's an herbivore, huh? Why do you have to think that? It was. It looks like a brontosaurus. You know the brontosaurus, Dylan.

Of course. Yeah. It looks like that, just big. He's a big boy. A lot of people confuse the brachiosaurus with the bront. Well, that's not me doing, but yeah, I get it. You put it in the brontosaurus at D-Tackle me doing, but yeah, I get it. You put it in the Brontosaurus at D-tackle?

Nah, dude, he's tied in, man. You throw it up top, dude. He doesn't have any foot speed. Like, literally zero. What kind of dinosaur? It's like a cornerback. Velociraptor? Oh, yeah, for sure.

Velociraptor. I'm kind of thinking that, too. They're fast switches. Fuck. Dude, those are dope animals. You're right. Very smart. Very smart. smart smarter than you

have you heard this uh this tiktok uh trend dylan called dry scooping is that like a pre-workout yeah my scoops it's pre-workout and people are uh well they're just eating pre-workout dry that's unnecessary there was On TikTok. There was one thing that Dylan needed to get into TikTok. It's eating pre-workout dry. Wasn't Dan doing this bit like five years? Dan was doing dry scoop humor a long time ago. Was Dan like the originator of this? I don't know.

I'm going to give him some props. Well, the problem is much like the blackout or the Tide Pod Challenge, people are potentially dying from this. Jesus. We don't like that. Because it's basically mainlining caffeine. Just going straight to the dome, huh? Yeah.

20-year-old Brittany Briatney. B-R-I-A-T-N-E-Y. Briatney. Briatney? It's Briatney, bitch. Briatney Portillo, who ate raw scoops of protein powder called Total Raw, had a heart attack and was rushed via EMT to the hospital. Are you sure it's not Total War?

Because that's what I take. No, this was Total Raw. Total Raw. Raw is war. Unfortunately, many of these protein pre-workout products contain caffeine, creatine, taurine, B vitamins, NO2 boosters, and branched-chain amino acids. Wow. Imagine how tingly her ears were.

Dude, it's insane. Wait, did she live? She's all right. Okay, cool. But like ephedrine, which was the old weight loss TikTok trend, this causes an abrupt increase in adrenaline and puts the heart in overdrive. I thought they banned that. They did. Ephedra?

Yeah, Ephedra, that's out. It's out. The medical folks say there are absolutely no benefits to dry scooping. You should mix with water like it's intended to be consumed. Nah. Just don't drink pre-workout. I know that's pretty cuck of me, but like. I still take it.

Shit. It's not good for you, but workouts, they hit different. Brad Key was taking pre-workout like before work. Yeah, that's not good. Oh, my God. Dude, let's do that. But to be fair, he was grinding. Just do Adderall like a real person.

I don't want to speak out of turn, but maybe that was part of his cocktail. If my ears aren't tingling and itching, I can't really throw a big, low weight. Really? It's fair. What phase of your workout routine are you in right now? I feel like you go to the gym every day, which is awesome. What do you mean, what phase? What am I trying to do?

I feel like he does, too, but I'm not seeing any dividends over here. No, I just put, like, you know, sometimes you're in a bulking phase. You do one rep matches. Sometimes you're doing like 15 rep didn't lean type of stuff. I'm pretty content with my size, but I would like to cut. You'd like to cut. But my diet is just not going to happen. Too many dino nuggies?

I'm basically just maintaining at this point. Bay spaghetti? Yeah. A lot of that? I like to eat dope shit, man. Why don't they make dino nuggies that are like chicken fried steak? That sounds right up your alley. That's a good idea.

Now we're talking. Are they going to have to make a new dino nug for this? Yeah, it's really big. It covers the entire plate. There you go. There's your chicken fried dino nug. Mm-hmm. And the rate at our cult classic, The Great Outdoors,

they ate the old 96er. That thing's a beast. This might be a dumb question. Are dino nuggets chicken nuggets or are they made out of dinosaurs? Made out of dinosaurs. I believe it's stegosaurus meat. Classic steg. Are those the ones with the fins?

Yeah. Good job. I know stagos. They're herbivores. Not a big deal. Was there ever a Pegasaurus? Are you trying to make a pegging joke? No.

I don't know, Dave. You're big into Tigosaurus, right? Tigosaurus? Tig? Never mind. Oh, man. That one's not registering registering if you stuck around for this you are patting yourself no one's listening no one's listening anymore no one should we say that was great if you're listening right now like do something just to see who the real ones really are

yeah email dylan and please don't dm mic. Yeah, DM Micah that you're still listening, please. No, just tweet Micah so he can see it. Hashtag SuperSage so he can see it. How bad does Dave have to pee right now? Yeah. I don't. Whoa. I swear to God, I don't. 90-minute pod?

You dehydrated like Dylan is going to do before his flight this weekend. Yeah, I'm actually cutting for our next pod. I like that. Let's get out of here. Bye.