Circling Back - Getting Inverted With Team USA

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

A new Top Gun trailer dropped, we discuss which military equipment we most want to own, This Weekend in Washed Golf, and this weekend's President's Cup breakdown. We also do Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:01) Top Gun Trailer (29:35) Washed Golf Outing & President's Cup (1:08:21) High School/Combat Sports Minute (1:17:05) Brett's Breaking News Honey: www.joinhoney.com/circlingback Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for a free pair of nunchucks) Cereal School: www.TheCerealSchool.com (CIRCLINGBACK for $5 off and free shipping) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the early bird cbd studio in austin texas my name is will defreeze my right dave roth i'm going nobev today kind of loco yeah what's up with that uh it's in my car and i didn't want to go out there and get it i left it so here i am dry mouth ready party no dave tuos no david cano we just we ever had such a deep conversation before i i didn't want to interrupt the flow we hit the flow state together dude it's been a while since i've been in the flow state that felt good yeah i can't imagine not being in the flow state it's just like operating in the matrix it's literally like exactly that like i'm looking at brett right now i don't see human i just see ones and zeros what's like the uh i've seen a lot of

zeros though yeah yeah you loser put your ones up um yeah i don't have i don't have a drink either dave although it is two weeks officially without red bull for me it feels like longer is it right i'm so proud of you man is it stock i went straight up cold yes two weeks i don't know if that's right you did sneak one in though yeah you told me you had one recently like a week ago uh about a week ago i don't think so you're a lady dude i think you're lying so your lady friend snitched on you did she she said you you snuck one in i might have snuck one in you told you straight up told me you straight up told me that you had one last weekend hey you played yourself lying ass your touring levels do look low uh yeah i've my last three nights of sleep have been trash i don't know why

4 a.m like a 403 wake up each night dude text me i'm always up at 4 a.m., like a 4.03 wake up each night. Dude, text me. I'm always up at 4 a.m. Probably the amphetamines. You're coming off that taurine. You think? Yeah. I don't think so. I think I'm just sleeping like shit. I don't know why.

I wake up at 4 every day. Why? I don't know. I wish I didn't. Dude, next time I wake up, I'm just going to text you. Yeah, but between 4 and 4.15, I lay there thinking, well, I'm either going to be up for the next three hours or I'm going to fall right back asleep. It just takes about 15.

You should hop on to Early Bird CBD, our good friends. Check out their website. See if they have like a, I think they have a melatonin CBD mixture. And I think that'll chill you out. Or CBD by itself, either way. Yeah, I'm circling back for I think 15%

off. We'll see. Is it circling back 20? No, I think it's just circling back. I I think, 15% off. We'll see. Is it circling back 20? No, I think it's just circling back. I told someone wrong over the weekend. I can confirm Scaries gets you 20. I looked just the other day. Didn't you use Scaries? Dude, what up, Dylan?

What's up, fam? How we doing? Dude, no one's talking about that it's Houndstooth Day. Yeah, Dave and I both have Houndstooth QZs on from Roback, our good friends. You guys are looking fresh. They're very sharp. I have to admit, mine's not tradish. These colors don't, I mean, no one's doing these.

Those colors don't run. Yeah, you don't see colors like that. What do you call this? It's obviously a... It's Houndstooth. I don't know. What do you mean? Oh, you're probably not the guy to ask.

Dylan thinks it's a solid color. No, it's like a teal, right? Or something? Sure, man. You know, when we were golfing this weekend, and the tee boxes were very weird tee boxes. You couldn't tell until you got right up there. I kept being like, is this the right one?

Dylan's like, I don't fucking know. You can't ask me. I'm not the guy to ask. Yeah, it's frustrating. I'll tell you what. We're not going to get into the golf talk yet. Let's holster the golf text. But I do take issue with their tee box.

I'll tell you what I don't appreciate is this new trend of the colorblind little circle test things all over Twitter. People like these hidden messages. I don't appreciate them. I don't think they're funny. That viral tweet that you couldn't read. You didn't miss anything. And if people keep tagging me in it, you're going to get blocked eventually. If you keep doing it like a couple hundred more times.

Dude, I love blocking lately. Can you not see any of those? No. It just looks like dots. That's a bummer. I didn't know what spectrum of colorblindness you were. I don't know either. So you're not faking it.

That's what you're saying. No. I wish I was. That'd be messed up if you were faking a disability. That could be bad for the podcast as a whole i wouldn't classify it as a disability not your level i'm sure there are some people out there that it's classified right i don't think so i don't know because even if you see in black and white you still can get by just fine it's not like you know yeah but what if what if like a dude wearing oakley's comes up and he's

like i have two pills and he hands and he's got them in his hands, and you don't know which one to take? I probably wouldn't take either of them. He's like, you can have the blue or the red, and I'm like, I don't know the difference between these two. I'd be like, I'm good, fam. I don't need to take pills from a stranger. Get cross-rated?

What would happen if Neo took both? Dude, I don't even want to know. I'm ordering you the colorblind glasses for Wednesday's pod. How much are they? $349. $349. You put a price on color, Dave. Are they a flex?

Yeah, kind of. Do they immediately say Dylan's getting a fit off right now? They're not bad. They're not ridiculous. They're not great. To be honest, they look like something the situation would wear. Yeah. Yeah. Or a Zeej.

Or a President's Cup Zeej. Yeah. Dude, what if you started golfing with these on and you're just going low? What if I put them on and I start crying like everyone else does in those stupid viral videos? Ooh. I'm just saying it's not that big of a deal

to be colorblind. I see color and life to me is just normal. What about the kid who's never heard sound, like a deaf kid? That's totally different. Do you see the video? That's totally different. I have great vision. I can see.

Actually, I don't even wear contacts. I see everything just great. I actually do see in color. It's just not the same color that you see. Do you dream in color? Do you dream in red? Dream in red? She dreams in color.

Oh, God. Please go to Betterment. Six minutes in, and this is where we are. Hey, I've got breaking news. I have just added a digital media branding strategist to my network that's big whoa i netty's pop i want to give a big shout out to linkedin for allowing you to accept multiple invites all at once why i logged in the other day for the first time in like a month and a half and i had 45 invites and i was like you know what i don't want to accept all these and i saw select all accept all look at mr popular over here i just because i did this exact same thing and i mentioned this one time

and a bunch of people added me i could i didn't recognize anybody and a lot of them are just spam yeah hey i can network your podcast for you like i'm good yeah we're all right what does that even mean they just go to like olive garden and applebee's and just dish out podcast pamphlets that sounds tight not bad it's like guerrilla marketing yeah at wilmons it's different though can we make a couple major announcements before uh we get into it today? Can I make a point real quick before you do? Yeah. You said that at the Olive Garden in Wilmonds. You know what's funny? When people put no soliciting signs on their business door or their home,

no one ever listens. That's never stopped a solicitor. No one's been like, oh, well, this person doesn't want me soliciting. They're going to go in anyway. That sign's just an eyesore. I'm not going to ruin the vibe of the front of my house by putting a no soliciting sign up there. Yeah, that's a vibe killer for sure.

I'll just sit on the couch and just throw them a deuce when they're looking at me knocking on the door. Give them this one. No, player. We're good. You think Micah would have a no soliciting sign? Yeah, he puts off no soliciting. Micah did just...

I will pull back the curtain. Micah did just replace his floor mat with a holiday themed one. Oh. Sick. But not Christmas? Because he does celebrate Christmas, doesn't he? Does that mean? I think he does a little bit.

Because he's Jewish, but he's also like not Jewish. It's weird. I don't know. He definitely has a, it says joy. Oh, that's generic. It's all all it says i'll take a photo also it's not just like he's not just a big fan of the view like he's just all in on joy bayhart he loves joy bayhart i could see that i could see that too actually that's like who he's repping yeah he hates uh megan mccain oh geez yeah micah just he got really he DVRs the view

if I found out that he DVR the view I would probably never talk to him ever again you know they have another one it's on a different station called the talk yeah it's the same premise the exact same show and it's got the it's got Darlene from Roseanne on it the uh I'd rather listen to her than some of the view people though the men's television version of that is is every like nfl pre-game show they're just one's called not another pre-game show at this point there's they're on every channel it's the best damn sports show period dude the thing about pre-game is that like i pre-game like you party nice i wrote every single caption on Facebook was that?

Your party is my pregame, I think is what it was. I don't care, dude. Yeah, but I get it. It's so stupid. You guys ever make a Darty t-shirt? Nope. That was not a thing. That term never infiltrated our bubble.

We actually made fun of that term quite a bit. Yeah, we had Darty season pretty aggressively. It sounds like a Big Ten thing. No offense to the Big Ten. That's fair. I feel like Big Ten parties are tight. People like Big Ten was big. I mean, at least at Michigan, they were big jardy people.

They're using the term darty. A jean party. I like to call Dave parties day rage. Okay. Dage? No, not a dage. I'm going to Dave rage this weekend. What does that mean? Just drink a lot of water. Oh, D2Os? Yeah. rage okay Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave

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Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave so let's make some announcements. First and foremost, everything on the site is 15% off still.

Extremely Online Tuesday goes up. Yeah, you don't see sales like that. We've extended it quite a bit. That being said, if you are buying Christmas gifts, we can't guarantee delivery by Christmas, so you're kind of taking your chances right now. Just FYI.

The cutoff date for our warehouse, it's been cut off. It's come and gone. So if you need it by Christmas, don't upgrade your shipping. Don't do anything like that. You just might not get it by Christmas. And we apologize. And that's on you.

You waited too long. Well, we didn't really give you guys a deadline. It's kind of on us, too. It's on us. I'll take part of it. There was a group text sent about it. And I was in the middle of something, and I forgot that that was talked about.

I didn't know the answer. I don't even remember this also worst it's worst of season everyone knows that we've been doing on patreon every tuesday next three episodes are christmas christmas part two and new year's eve get your stories in asap like rocky yes uh we will be pre-recording some of these episodes so please yeah that's good dude thanks don't come here man hell yeah oh dave knuckled me shit get your stories in worst of at washmedia.com like i said christmas and new year's eve just your worst stories we've gotten a lot we got a lot of heat in the hopper right now so make sure you're coming with it can they do hanukkah as well if if we have some some bad hanukkah stories i'm down hanukkah is how many eight crazy days seven crazy nights crazy nights?

I feel like there's more opportunity there for some just antics. Do they just get crazy every night? Do they party for eight days straight? Great question. Hard to say. There's just no off days? Let's ask Micah.

We can do that. Should we call Micah right now? Should we call his office yeah you have his office number i don't have his office number i will acquire his office number and we will call him sometime soon i could call fulton oil and gas now we're good man he's probably pre-gaming right now because he pre-games like you party he only has one mode though that's true sicko is he just smashing the sicko mode button on Monday morning in his office? Probably.

Should we talk about this Top Gun trailer? You want to talk Honey first? Yeah. Oh, no. Okay. We'll get them after. Why don't you just cool it? Just saying, man.

Make that money, Dylan. I'm trying, dog. I mean, we can talk Honey. Let's talk Honey, bitch. All right, fuck it. Giving holiday gifts is great. Overspending on all those gifts, definitely not. So why spend more than you have to?

Finding the lowest price is easy if you have honey. Honey is a free browser extension that automatically finds the best promo codes whenever you shop online. And as someone that uses this often, I'm very thankful for this service. I forget that I have honey, and it just, hey, by the way, asshole, you just saved 20 bucks thanks to me. It doesn't actually call me an asshole you're not as abrasive as that you download it

and then you start checking out and you're like oh what's this pop up and you're like oh shit I'm about to have more money in my pocket

it's happened to me numerous times honestly it's my favorite pop up yes I love it it's the only pop up I enjoy Dave

normally we're I think largely we're an anti pop up podcast yeah pop ups are you know

you don't want that unless it's honey if it's a't want that. Unless it's Honey. If it's a browser extension, pop me up. It's totally different. Pop me up. Pop me up, daddy. I mean, you can be on pretty much any site these days and you can just be checking out

and all of a sudden it's like, hold on, do you want us to test every single code available for this site and see what the best deal is? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I would like that. I think somebody sent me a screenshot of them using honey for our website too which i love i love that too but i'll say this we have uh only a couple promo codes going and we don't want those to get out no we certainly don't nah okay never

forget i said that yeah yeah i'm Might have to delete some of those today. Our employee discount code cannot get out. I'm going to see if Honey works when I go to watch. If it does, major shouts to Honey. It wasn't that one. I know they have it dialed in, but Honey has over 10 million users. You know how many dollars people have saved in the history of Honey? It's got to be way up there.

Is it nine figs? Over a billy way up there nine figs over a billy whoa a billion over a billy is you shitting me i'm not shitting you 20 000 stores online over a hundred thousand five star reviews on google chrome store that's a lot it's just it's it literally just saves you money it's the easiest like service of all time it's not like you have to go in and activate the stuff. No, it's just like, here, player, I will handle this for you. They cut out the middleman. Middleman is being like you doing all the work.

Yeah, dirty work. You're the middleman now. They made you the middleman, and you enjoy it. They cut your ass out. If you're buying gifts this holiday season, you need honey. If you're not, you probably know someone who is, so do them a solid and tell them about honey. Honey can make sure that you're getting the best price for whatever you're buying gifts this holiday season, you need honey. If you're not, you probably know someone who is. So do them a solid and tell them about honey. Honey can make sure that you're getting the best price for whatever you're buying.

It's free and it installs in just two clicks. Get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash circling back. That's joinhoney.com slash circling back. All right, let's talk. Let's talk. Click, click, subscribe. Sorry. It's okay. That's real bad, dude. Alright, let's talk. Click subscribe. Sorry. That's real bad, dude.

It's real bad Monday. RBM? Nothing but terrible jokes from this guy. That has legs, man. Thanks. So Top Gun, huh? Who dropped this trailer? I randomly went to Miles teller's twitter feed you just check it every morning no i was i went on it last night because his uh his

wife posted some photos from like uh something and i was like man does he still not have an instagram account how old is he they're newlyweds okay what is he like a 26 year old newlywed i feel like he's like i thought he was my i bet he's 34 actors are always older than you think they are he's 32 see he's my age my clockwork man yeah no and i yeah i went to his twitter page and i was like oh he retweeted tom cruise but i was too lazy to look at that what the content of the tweet was i watched it on the grom tom cruise's grom and what pissed me off more than anything is i was watching it and then it's so long that it does the continue watching watching thing and it just interrupted my flow state yeah but it's just you just one tap and it takes i know but it's still you did you not

continue watching oh yeah i did of course well when does this movie actually drop june 2020 summer blockbuster season that's what you see In theaters folks Yeah I might go IMAX For that Catch us there It's not a might for me If I'm seeing it in theaters I'm seeing it in IMAX

You gonna cry? I think I might cry I'm not gonna cry This is my favorite movie Of like the first 12 years of my life It's a fantastic movie Hey I'm with you

There was some I got the original trailer That dropped Or teaser That dropped like Six months ago Call me John Travolta Cause I got chills original trailer that dropped or teaser that dropped like six months ago. I will be John Travolta because I got chills.

Are they multiplying? I got chills. I'm more lukewarm than I think anybody in the room on Top Gun. Dude, fuck. I don't just I don't dislike it. I do enjoy Top Gun. It's still what it never it never was like in the rotation for me as a kid or anything like that. It was never a movie I went back to very often.

But if it was on, it was like, all right, Top Gun's on. Hell yeah. You'd do Meg Ryan like that? Man. Oh, I would do Meg Ryan like that. Great Balls of Fire? Okay, guy. Don't be horny on the TL.

Hey, I'm certified horny on the TL for some 90s Meg Ryan. How does she look in 2019, by the way? A lot of plastic surgery. Don't do it. Don't do it. A lot of plastic surgery, A lot of plastic surgery. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Don't do it. No, she's just gotten too much plastic surgery. The pressures of Hollywood on a female actress is overwhelming. Not as bad as I was expecting, considering your reactions. Okay. Yeah, she's gotten plastic surgery. She's 58.

I just want to say that no one in Hollywood is aged better than Al Pacino. I want to put that out there right now. I don't think that's accurate. Christy Brinkley? Christy Brinkley, dog? She's not in Hollywood. Yeah, I mean, she's close.

She sells total gems. She's married to Billy Joel. Aniston? You know Brad Pitt's 55. Okay, good point. He's a fine man. Good point. He is aged very well.

Cindy Crawford, but she's not Hollywood either. Christy Brinkley just doesn't make sense. It's crazy. Hold on, what? Chrissy Brinkley. Yeah, she's a snack.

Named her daughter Sailor, too. Heidi Klum's aged well as well. That's a terrible name. Yeah. Bill Simmons, he always had the Diane Keaton All-Stars. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Villager Island fucking stadium, well.

Soup's the perfect food. Is that really a take of his I don't know I'd never even listen to him I'm doing an impression of what I think the impression is

I'm doing an impression of Will's impression it's very good oh yeah nah I think about Luca and the you know Luca could have been on the Celtics

if things played out differently yeah I'm over here on the ESPN trade maker machine dude alright we'll hold this played out differently yeah i'm over here on the on the espn trade maker machine dude all right we'll hold this he's been very successful so i didn't know glenn powell

was actually in this movie glenn powell's so fun because there was there was really no that there's not a big glimpse of miles teller even in the first trailer for top gun and i knew that glenn powell was going up for Goose's son against Miles Teller. And then, bam, we get Glenn Powell today. Oh, I just looked up Glenn Powell. I know exactly who this guy is. I've seen this guy out at a bar in Austin. Yeah, he's from Austin.

Certified good-looking dude, too. He's a hot dude. What would I know Glenn Powell from? I think he went to Austin High. I don't know. I thought he was like your high school. Dude, Scream Queens, man. He went to UT for a little bit.

Is that what V thinks I would know him from, though? That's how I know him, and he is so funny in that show. He went to UT at the same time as Sally and then ended up leaving to go pursue his Hollywood dream. I think it's working out. I met him at a wedding one time, and he was very, very nice. That's tight. How tall is he in real life?

I will say that he is kind of like other actors. Really? Under six? Yeah. Well, he's listed at six feet flat. He's five. He's definitely... It's program height.

I think he's shorter than me. What are you? I'm five. I topped out at... I mean look if you looked at my medical records you went i was measured at six feet one time not to brag okay then that's what you go with if you look at my driver's license i'm six feet if uh you're measuring me right now i would say i'd clock in at about 5 11 and a half you know in my head if you asked me when i walked in who's taller will or dylan i would think you're taller than Dylan. How tall are you?

I swear to God. How tall are you? I swear to God. I just imagine Will being like tall, tall, like really tall. It's weird. That is weird. I thought Dan was 5'8". Dan's the sneakiest 6'0".

I thought he was 5'8 for three years. And then one day he was like, you really think I'm short, don't you? And then he stood up and I was like, oh, you're taller than me. Okay. Yeah. He's got short man just vibes to him.

I don't know. You know what you would recognize Clint Powell from? Hit me. God, it's called Set It Up on Netflix. Rom-com? Nope. I feel like you'd like it. He was the main character in that.

He was in Hidden Figures. This was a small movie, but actually very much worth watching. Everybody wants some. Oh, I've heard that's phenomenal. It's really good. I've not seen it, but I've heard it's phenomenal. He's the alpha of that movie.

Is he in The Kingsman, too? Is he one of the British dudes? No. Or played a British guy? No, trust me. If he was in The Kingsman, that would have been the first thing I would have said. Those movies are so underrated.

Those are my top five movies. Pete Davidson's in Set It Up. Also Taye Diggs. Yeah, Pete Davidson's actually kind of funny. Set It Up is sneaky okay. Like I didn't, I finished it,

which is big. I don't know. Miles Teller with the mustache in this. All right, Pete, news. This movie's gonna, I have very high hopes. It's dangerous Yeah It looks like a complete remake

One thing we just Okay that's I can't wait till we cover this In June And a bunch of people say like Oh like I wish you would've let us know Like dude just go see

The biggest movie of the year True Are we seeing Star Wars? Nah I'm good Oh really I thought I thought like Dave

Was a Star Wars guy i still i haven't seen the last he has a c-3po tattoo on his ass but other than that like he never really talks about it um no i'm gonna see it i'm excited for it's d-3po i'm gonna see i mean i am gonna watch mandalorian or continue watching it but as far as the going to the theaters for star wars i feel like i'm so out of what's going on that i don't even know if i'd recognize anybody or know any plot lines why does it feel like there are like 35 star wars movies at this point well there's nine that's a lot nine and a half i never saw solo nine and a half what does that mean there's there's a couple like wasn't jason derulo on that road one and i was solo and shit like that yeah he was in a he was pod racing and

riding solo was just blasting don't sleep on the pod racing game for nintendo 64 do we have nintendo for the new office not yet i got a i got a text from t-man the other day asking if we were gonna be playing fifa in there um you want to hop on the sticks i can do that do we have another couch then? are we getting another? the only couch we have is like a black leather one with three seats on it that just remains empty we don't have that didn't you say you wanted to get like a

fishing pole or something so you could cast off of it or something that's such a lame joke that was doing a lot that was really that was doing a lot honestly that was so lame that was doing a lot that was so forced god let's go what'd you say it's bad joke monday or whatever i don't even know but you like you asked for this yeah no i didn't that's true oh god i what were we talking about top Top Gun? Top Gun. Some shit like that. Fucking Jets and shit.

He was inverted. He was. Was there inversion in this trailer? Not quite, but there is Maverick. Buddy? Sure. Did you watch the whole thing? Yeah.

I want to watch it again. There was an inverted part? Oh, yeah. I caught the Maverick doing something crazy. Do you even know what that word means? Oh, you saw Maverick doing something crazy? Yeah, where he flew between the two Jets. Just classic reckless Maverick doing something crazy. Do you even know what that word means? Oh, you saw Maverick doing something crazy? Yeah, where he flew between the two jets. Reckless Maverick. He's flying like a $2.5 million piece of equipment.

Risking it all. It's got to be more than that, right? Yeah, it's got to be more. $2.5 million per wing. What are they flying? You got to think they're F-35s. You got to. They're flying the D-35.

It's new. The squad is going to buy an F-35. No, wait. They're Navy. They're Naval. No, no, no, no. Excuse me. They're like a billion dollars.

No, no, no. Go to F-18. Excuse me. They're way more than I thought they'd be. 500 million. Oh, wow. How much are they? Per jet?

F-35? They're not F-35s. Some Twitter pilot is going to come at me. Go F-18 Horn They're not F-35s. Some Twitter pilot hard-hose is going to come at me. Go F-18 Hornet. Okay. It's less money than an F-35. How much is an F-35? Anywhere between 94 million and 122 million.

So not 2.5 million per wing. Oh. Yeah. The wing itself might be 2.5 if you think about it. You know, all the money is in the cockpit. But sustainment cost projections are a big concern as production costs for a program that's expected to cost 1.5 trillion over the next 55 years.

Cool. Defense budget. Yeah, that's... These things require maintenance. It's kind of like getting a BMW, you know what I mean? So is that money that the U.S. government's paying, I guess it's just lining the getting a bmw you know what i mean so is that that money that the u.s government's paying i guess it's just lining the pockets of lockheed are you familiar with the military industrial complex i am well there you go that's all i have to say about that you guys

want to guess the how much is f-18 super hornet how much it costs to lease one 35 million to lease one dude i'm just kidding dylan was can't lease one. Dylan was super hornet on the timeline for the weekend. That's not true, man. I hope you do, too. $95 million. Oh, that was too good. Callback. No, you're wrong.

Anyone have other guesses? It's at $35. Dylan, rate my tree. Dave, do you have any guesses? It's beautiful. What am I rating? It's a beautiful tree. How much time does a F-18 Super Hornet cost?

How much money? Yeah. It's a Super Hornet. I'm going to say 1.1 bill. No. 1.1 bill? It's a Super Hornet. I mean, Dave, in its lifetime, it's going to end up costing probably that much.

I thought you were talking about that. No, it's 66.9 million. Nice. Okay. going to end up costing probably i thought we're talking about that now it's 66.9 million nice okay yeah you gotta think that's what they're flying that's out of my price range i priced out a new car the other day it came in way under that it's a super hornet baby oh yeah baby shagadelic do you feel my g's baby yeah i went on a bachelor party and on our uber ride from the airport to the house i just talked like austin powers the entire time and that sucks you know some people hated it but the people that didn't hate it loved it oh i broke the sound barrier baby oh yeah baby forgot how bad my aust Powers is. It's hard.

Is Mike Myers doing anything these days? I hear he actually makes a cameo in Top Gun. Hey, why were Don't Mess With The Zohan memes like a thing for one day last week? Where did that happen? I don't know, but cameo by Dave Matthews in that movie. Dude, he's in a lot of Sandler movies. Are they boys?

He's boys with somebody in that world. He was in Just Go With It. Just Go With It, Don't Mess With The Zohan. He's not in Couples Retreat. Contrary to popular belief. Couples Retreat wasn't Sandler, though. I know, but it's one of those... I have a Mandela thing with Dave Matthews in Couples Retreat.

Every time I watch it, I'm like, where's Dave Matthews in this? It just never comes. Oh, that's a problem. I watch it, I'm like, where's Dave Matthews in this? It just never comes. Oh, that's a problem. If Bill Gates wanted to buy an F-18 Hornet, can you do that?

I don't think... No. Why? Because it's a military... It's a fighter jet. I think he could buy it, but I don't think he could fly it. Well, yeah. I don't even think he could buy it. Money talks, Dylan.

You wouldn't know. You can buy an aircraft, right? So you just can't buy a military aircraft? I mean, I don't know what I'm talking about, but common sense tells me that you just can't. You think there's a law somewhere? It's a fighter jet. Dude, have you never heard of the

second amendment you also can't buy like you know military grade weapons uh can't you i mean legally no uh gun show loophole no you don't military grade welcome to the gun show baby uh i think that's wrong but i don't really want to argue about a tank you guys can't buy ammunition dude the guy who just almost won mayor of houston tony busby super sages but it's like decommissioned shit it's uh you can't buy like the current you can buy like a answer yeah you can buy like like vintage shit again again i don't know what i'm talking about but it sounds right that should be the clip for a podcast what okay if you could buy any piece of military technology what would it be assuming you have the funds and assuming you know how to like you can use it

immediately you will be trained okay yes like at what at some point you'll be able to use that correct in its full capacity yeah okay look i think i'm kind of right uh generally a fighter jet kind of right will be sold to a civilian if it has been retired from the primary customer's home country air force how sick would it be just to have a decommissioned like f-16 you're just fucking rolling across i mean it'd be kind of tight yeah nobody knows it's not armed. Dude, I'm going to buy a MiG, a Russian MiG, and I'm just going to like, there's going to be a viral video of me with it,

and it's going to be me just throwing it into the trash can. Oh, nice. Wow, dude. Let's buy an old bomber plane or something. A B-52 or something like that? Dude, the coolest thing to me. I'm getting an aircraft carrier. Stealth bomber back in the day.

Like 1992. The A1 or the big B2? The original. The A17? I guess. Yeah. I'm going to get an aircraft carrier and just set it up for activities and shit. Just have like a basketball court and shit.

They do that. Have the squad out. Hachi ball. There's got to be a better way to have a pickup game. More efficient. Yeah, but wouldn't you rather do it? I mean, it's always dope when Michigan State plays state plays duke on an aircraft carrier where do you station it though it's really not san diego okay that's that would be tight oh i thought you're gonna say

like the great lakes no i need i need the i need the squad there with me in case i need any maintenance on it like i need to be around the military yeah i just feel like that's too big of a boat just go the us Edmond and it hits different. Yeah. You got to think the upkeep on that thing is just astronomical. Well, you have the funds. Yeah. Wow.

I'd go F-22. Okay. Just have a SIG fighter jet. So what I would do is I would buy a cruise missile, and I would kind of rig it up so it's got a Bluetooth speaker, a BTS built in. Would you put your windows down? And it just blares FGL the whole time. And it's the last thing you hear is,

Make me want to roll my windows down. I might just sell my aircraft carrier the second I get it. Didn't you say you want a submarine? Call you JoJo? That's when you get in the billies. I'm not a submarine guy. I don't want to be underwater inside something that's just sounds metal tube yeah it just sounds terrifying yeah you've never been into that you know i mean like because like mortgages and stuff

yeah 2008 was tough we're trying to do yeah 2003 spring break would you take the differ jokes oh let's do let's do predatory lending I want to do that for a while yeah you keep mentioning that hey who's your what's your favorite apex predator lender mine's cash america

ooh give me the the mac twins freddy and fanny ooh good one damn referendum on our

education system well what's yours I wish who's your favorite lender? I have no clue. I'm the last person to talk about money. Surprisingly, I don't have a favorite lender. Once a month I do a listener questions episode of Scaries

and some people ask questions about money. How can I budget better? That is something I cannot touch. I am reckless. Like, how can I budget better? I'm like, that is something I cannot touch. Like, I am reckless.

Yeah. Like, no. We're getting plenty today. That's my favorite way to end a segment. We'll just... I need a cigarette after that segment. What'd you do? Oh, you bought an aircraft carrier. Yeah, you can resell those for like over a billy, so...

To who? Yeah. I don't think it's going to appreciate very much. Dude, I bet. I'm for over a billy. To who? Foreign countries. It's going to appreciate very much. Dude, I bet. I'm buying a sniper rifle. Just one sniper rifle. 50 cal?

Why don't you go get one? 50 cal. I'm going to get the golden gun from Bond. Ooh, the Moonraker. Yeah. It never runs out of lasers. I don't think those are real weapons, guys. The other day, I fell down a wormhole on YouTube

of just watching gameplay videos from N64. I do that like once a year. Yeah, and I did Bond, Perfect Dark. Do you ever play that game? No. You watch gameplay videos of old video games? I mean, it was like a 10-minute stint of me doing it. It's kind of satisfying.

It's just nostalgic. It's nostalgic. That's sad. Yeah. I feel bad for you. Okay, you're watching Homer home run derbies from 1996. No, I don't do that. Naruto put up numbers that year.

Dylan loves. Dylan's ringtone is Berman going, back, back, back. God. I went to the, I think it was 92 or 94 home run derby in. You're like 16. The new ballpark Arlington. Frank Thomas, big hurt. He won.

Didn't Mike Piazza hit one like in the All-Star game over center field or some shit? I just went to the home run derby. Mike Piazza overrated? Nope. No. Okay. Best hitting catcher of all time, actually.

Oh, I'll punch. Might have something to say about him. Nope. Okay. Nope. Not a great catcher, but a great hitting catcher. Did you ever play catcher?

Passato, he was putting up like 20 and 100 every year, though. What'd you say, Dave? Did you ever catch? I'm serious. I was catcher for exactly one game. I didn't have the knees for it, man. I didn't have the legs for it. Does every kid who played catcher just now have fucked up knees?

Yes. Oh, yeah, definitely. It's hard on your lower half. It's hard on your body. Because then you start overcompensating. What are you oh well i think for like like you know they're reforming like youth football like they're making it like touch until they're 10 or whatever i don't even know if that's right they should just have like a like a mini chair for like the catcher in like little league that'd be protect their knees it's gonna fuck their growth plate up to hold that

squat position you gotta have thick ass legs you guys have knee savers or was that after your like little lead time uh we those were around in uh what i don't know those were around when i was playing yeah high school for sure what is that this is how the shit you strapped the back of your yeah It's a little little wedge bought on a little wedge pad What if you just did that share that's all over Instagram that just kicks out the legs that would be Bad Catcher I think I think catcher and in goal like hockey goalie are the two positions that I would never Want to be yours doing rowing you were doing catcher in the rye.

That's about the most catcher in the rye. Yeah, I'm a big Holden Caulfield guy. That's safe. Yeah, sure, man. That's a dangerous position. Yeah. You know what's not dangerous? This new sponsor

alert. New sponsor alert. Why would you ever be dangerous? New sponsor. I mean, I'll be honest. These guys, like, everyone knows who these guys are. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what,

I'd have been tired if Brett actually brought us the package that they delivered to us. Yeah, they are on my washing machine. Thanks, man. We really don't need specifics. So when I initially heard that we were getting sponsored by Bird Dogs, I was like, sick, I already have one. Thanks, man. We really don't need specifics. So when I initially heard that we were getting sponsored

by Bird Dogs, I was like, sick. I already have one. This is perfect. Do you? Yeah. Oh, Rosie. Yeah, Rosie.

And so I was like, awesome. I'm very familiar with this. You thought they were sending us animals. I thought we were going to get some like GSPs, maybe some, you know, English setters and stuff like that.

But instead, we got the greatest pair of shorts in the fucking world. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Jafil. And so, like, you guys already know what they are they crushed it with their gym shorts and now we have breaking news they're making pants that's not the breaking that's not the breaking news sound that's the breaking news sound dog i'm so i can't believe they're doing pants they've pushed into the you

know why you probably don't know that they're doing pants? Because you wouldn't even know if you saw them out on the street. Oh, for real? These things look like straight up khakis or just normal navy blue chinos. It's like that? It'd be like that sometimes. Okay. Or in this case, all the time.

Ooh. These are crazy stretchy, super soft. They even have built-in underwear. Game changer. Yeah, you don't see that. Dude, much like Dylan. What? All those.

You are crazy changer. Yeah, you don't see that. Dude, much like Dylan. What? All those. You are crazy soft. Yeah. Super stretchy. You can wear these things literally anywhere. To the gym, on the golf course. What, dare I say, to the office? What about a bar? Oh, bar.

Bar City. You can go office. Pretty much everywhere. You can go office to the golf course. You have to be peak performance when you're at the bar. If you're wearing an uncomfortable pair of pants and you're sitting there posted up for like six hours just watching some President's Cup, you can't be uncomfortable. Dude, catch me watching the PC in some bird dog pants.

Exactly. In two years. Yeah. In exactly two years. You're going to have to wait two years to wear them, though. No, I'm going to wear them tomorrow. Okay. If Brett ever brings them. If Brett ever delivers my package,

I can't wait. Brett's out there. He's trying them on to see which ones he can keep. It's not what I did. They're firmly in the package. Do you guys want to hear the absurd offer they're giving us? Yes. I can fully say that we've never extended an offer

quite like this before. Go to birddogs.com and enter promo code STEAM and they'll give you a pair of nunchucks. Yeah. Like, you heard that right. I'm talking about actual nunchucks. They will give you an actual weapon along with your pair of birddogs.

When y'all were talking about this, I thought you were joking. No, no. That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM and boom, a free pair of nunchucks with your pair of bird dogs. You will not take these things off. I promise you. Brett, be honest.

Did they send us nunchucks? Unconfirmed. I literally haven't opened the box. If there's nunchucks in there, Dylan, I advise you don't show up to work tomorrow. I can tell you this. No one else is doing nunchucks. People thought that I was going to say like 30% off or something crazy like that. No, you get weaponry. You get nunchucks. thought that i was gonna say like 30 off or something crazy like that no no you get weaponry you get nunchucks just make it happen are those even legal to possess yeah good

i'm gonna fuck you up with my nunchucks dude you're gonna hit you you're gonna be the guy who like hits himself in the face breaks his nose after i break your face good all right can't break what's already broken oh i'm sorry to hear that man man. Yeah, dude. I'm fine. You cool? I'm in a good spot. You cool? I'm okay. Do you want to pause real quick? You know, we'll talk about it in a minute. I had a big deflating moment.

Wait, how do we get the nunchucks again? You go to birddogs.com. Promo code STEAM at checkout. Wow. This is exciting for everybody. Quite. Quite. That was my nunchuck sound.

No one can hear that what you just did. Yeah, what are you doing? Jesus, I'm sorry. Should we talk this weekend in golf? Yeah. Do we want to start out

with the President's Cup or with like... I don't know. What do the people want to hear more about? The President's Cup or the Wash Cup? I think they want to hear more about? The President's Cup or the Wash Cup? I think they want to hear more about Two Girls One.

But let's start with our week. Let's just do a bunch of golf right now. If you don't like golf, just fast forward. Smash that fast forward button. Sorry. We went golfing on Saturday. We certainly did. Shockingly, no one backed out.

I think I was, as far as everything went, I would say that I was the most likely to back out. Yeah. Yeah, I thought you were when you left. We were all checked in, hitting balls, and you're like, oh, I'm about to leave for the course. It's a 30-minute drive. To be honest, you guys got there very early.

I was excited. Yeah, we had to get strokes in. It was a great weather day. It makes sense that I didn't warm up based on how I played. Wanted to hit the range. I had to get out there on the range and pull pipe. They pulled driver on the range when it was irons only. Didn't know it.

That's why. And I told Dylan, I was like, there's people looking at me funny. And no one said a word. Probably because I was just striping. Yeah, because everyone's looking at this giant ass sign that says irons only. And then you're out there just bombing drives to the back. Honestly, did not see the sign. Don't care.

You're a bad boy. I don't care. Maybe you should open up your eyes and see the sign. Yeah, we played Wolf. It was fun. So nobody played particularly well, I don't believe. We did have an electric moment of the round, though. Dude, the round got off to an awful start.

Can I just say that? So they have a starter. they take it very seriously you got to show them your receipt and he was like hey just letting you know one is backed up but once you get out there it opens up he wasn't kidding and he wasn't kidding it did open up a little bit but about the first four or five holes uh we had a little father son foursome out there so two dads two kids kids were probably like eight maybe ten maybe ten and they looked like they were going to be players they had the white belt on they were kind of they had kind of cocky rory swag going like they were little brats these kids had these kids had clearly watched pro golfers and how they act and they were just mimicking what they were doing exactly except for hitting the ball.

These kids were not ball strikers. I began to worry when I noticed one of the dads had a Heineken staff bag. It's tight though. And I was like, huh, alright. One of the dads hit three balls off the first tee box. I was trying to figure this out last night. How many strokes do you think that foursome took on the first hole?

I'm going to say 42 between the four of them. Eas i'm not kidding i think it might be more yeah i think it might be more the only way they advanced the ball down the fairway was by uh hitting it off the hosel to the right the dad went ob three times he hit three off one which is that's when you just say all right there's people behind waiting i'm gonna go drop with one of y'all if you're gonna hit a breakfast ball just bring both of them up if it's that backed up just go hit two of them yeah you can't walk back to the cart then head back up to the t-box when someone's waiting on you that should be a rule what drove me the most insane on one was when the kid was like 150 yards from the, like,

he's not driving the ball 150, but he went up, set up for a shot, then went and switched clubs as if it fucking mattered and then went back to the ball. And I was like, dude, you're not even getting it there. Like, don't switch clubs. Just hit driver off the deck like Dylan does. Oh, yeah. Dude, that kid was, that kid had like give up swing, two holes in. He was hitting the ball like, give up swing, two holes in. He was hitting the ball and then dropping his club, two holes in.

Dylan said these people should not even be on the golf course right now. No. They should be on the range. They weren't ready. Yeah, you're absolutely right. They weren't ready for the actual round of golf. It would be one thing if the dads knew what they were doing, and it's like, bring your kids out, let them learn the game.

But you maintain pace of play. But, no, the dads were just as bad, and the dads clearly didn't care about people being behind them. Not just us. There was like two other groups waiting behind us. And that makes it awkward for us because then you've got a bunch of people watching us tee off. Just a lot, you know?

You know what I hate too is eagle putts that turn into sixes. Do you know what I hate even more than that? I forgot about that. Being on the same team as somebody with an eagle putt and then they get a six yeah oh yeah i feel bad for laughing at that but you can't four it was funny though that was that's my first four putt in a long time and it was with an eagle putt i didn't think you were going to actually hit the first putt if i'm you know the second putt for birdie because you had i had you overthought it three feet you overthought it because you were like

you had the pin taken out from three feet and I was like oh like you're already in your head about this this is a production I'll just step up

and hit it in just knock it down playboy yeah Eagle could have doubled the the amount of money we won on that hole

Birdie could have done it what pretty much anything but a bogey loss I can confirm who ended up winning the wolf like a classic uh this group wolf just kind of it's like a thing we do and no one ever really collects like whatever i think we were we were all a little buzzed by like 14 we did finish it too yeah it was yeah we didn't even finish so i don't know the boys were but i guess we'll have to roll over the wolf points to the next time i don't know. I guess we'll have to roll over the wolf points the next time.

I don't know. We'll start from scratch. Can we talk about the signature hole? Let's talk about it. Who wants to set the scene? Par 3. We played Falcon Head down in Lakeway. It's a hill country course.

It's got some good views. It's overbuilt. There's a lot of houses on there now. Whatever. Hit a couple of those right uh it's in good they take good care of it though and for the money it's actually worth it yeah i was shocked their signature holes part three a little bit uphill the green's elevated it's like built out to like the green overlooks this like man--made creek waterfall thing. Is there a difference between a creek and a crick?

Nope. Crick actually does the Batchelor recap. Oh, okay. It's their signature hole. It's a good-looking hole. Whatever. It's like 150 yards, depending on where the pin is. Can't see the hole.

Can't see the hole. I guess I was the wolf, right? I think you let off, right? Yeah, I let off. I hit like a little three-quarter eight iron I hit it okay and I turned around after I hit it and I was like okay got my tee and then we Will and I both heard it hit the pin and Will did his classic I was positive you go I think that's it well it the way that your ball, the trajectory that your ball was going at, if it hits, in my assessment of that situation, if it hit the pin, it was dropping for me. Like, I didn't think that you had enough speed on that

for it to just like hit the pin and shoot off or something. And the fact that we could kind of see the hole, but not really because it was a little kind of dip in the green. It made it very difficult to see any ball at all. i was i mean i was absolutely sold so yeah we busted out the camera started recording got the initial reactions from the t-box from everyone i did not think it was in dylan told me he thought there was a greater than 50 chance it was true will thought it was in brett thought it was in well because i you were mentally hedging yes i was actually yourself emotional reason i was so sure because y'all hit the pin i didn't but y'all were certain of it and i jumped to like

try to see if i could spot the ball up there by the hole and i couldn't see it so i was like that's good that's a really good sign good sign and so i was pretty confident but but uh got there's about six feet it was not to be i was actually yeah will was inside i was somehow closer than you yeah which was unfortunate a lot of times you hit the flagstick like it doesn't help you out right right if you if you don't if you hit it like in a it's a glancing blow it can really throw you off target and i missed i two putted for par great little let down there it was deflating because i was thinking all the what ifs in my head oh by the way i was wearing my arby's polo oh yeah so my first hole-in-one would have been in a arby's polo uh made popular by our trip to

ponte vedra beach which is really unfortunate yeah that it didn't drop because i would have been tight would have been tight what if we went up and mine was in there that would have been hilarious i thought yours might have been in based on the been tight. What if we went up and mine was in there? That would have been hilarious. I thought yours might have been in, based on the, like, kind of rolled off. Your boy got a kick. Yeah, you got a kick. I got a nice little kick.

I just went 20 feet past you, Pop-Pop. You pretty much, Brett, actually, did you make up your own cocktail? Or was that something that was already a thing? I mean, well, I didn't know what a DKR was. I just thought you called transfusions down here DKRs. What's a transfusion? It's just ginger ale, vodka, and a splash of cranberry.

Something you don't want to hear. I'm going to start calling those transmarriments. Something you don't want to hear back from the bartender when you order a drink that you're unsure of is, oh, what's in that? Because you don't know the answer, and you look like a total dumbass. So what's in a DKR?

I don't know. I've never heard of that. What's in a DCR? I don't know. I've never heard of that. What's in a DCR? Oh, the DCR. Soda water. I prefer Topo. Sparkling D2O? Yes.

D2O. Sparkling D2O. Call that a flashy Dave. Ice. We'll call it a flashy Dave. Vodka. Double if you want to party. I did. Twice. Hella lime.

So it sounds a lot like a Dave. Just what people around here call it. But then you hit it with some Gatorade, right? Then you hit it with a little bit of Igo G2, Low Shug, Riptide Rush, or a purple or a blue. Some people go with grape juice, Welch's or something, because that's usually what the car girls have on the car

is like the little can of Welch's. That's got a a ton of sugar but you don't need a lot just a little splash give it give it the blue coloring the key is a lot of lime and that there is the d dcr dkr just it's a regional thing gotcha i mean sounds great um so then yeah now i know so i ordered a double transfusion twice along with modelos and a bud light before we even teed off jeez i'm not trying to flex i'm not trying to flex i had three beers dude i had three that's loco i had two modelos and then on the back nine i got an ipa i think i like drinking hard liquor on their course more than beer i agree because the beer gets all over your cart and i pee a lot.

I enjoy putting, like if I don't drive to the course and like it's just like a clear like we're going to get hammered, I enjoy putting down a lot of beers on the course. The feeling of taking the can and throwing it in those metal trash cans is just the best feeling in the world.

Somehow they're so much louder than you'd expect them to ever be. Greta Thunberg would be very upset with me doing that, but it just feels so good. Come on now. What? How did she make her way into this podcast? She was on SNL this week.

Who played her? Kate McKinnon. It was great. SNL has Eddie Murphy on next week. I saw they did Baby Yoda. So people were killing Baby, like that segment yeah it was actually kind of funny because it wasn't like they were not trying to they just made baby yoda into a bad boy i need to go back and watch it i like uh kyle mooney i've always enjoyed his bits there were some really bad skits but i like i mean that's the

resident snl guy right now current day snl yeah you need to uh weekend update's been phenomenal lately just check it out hey speaking of the view look what's trending oh no it's whoopie why is whoopie trending with megan mccain she told off megan mccain apparently that that could not have worked out any better oh apparently megan said, Megan McCain said, I won't talk the rest of the show. And then Whoopi said, I'd be okay with that. Ooh. What?

Like, is Megan McCain just like, is she a ratings machine or something? Why haven't they fired her yet? She's trending for something bad, like, every day. You know, her dad was the original Maverick. Wow. Was he? Was he an just in this so he didn't play maverick in top the first top gun no oh okay that was definitely tom cruise okay i mean very different person okay that makes sense oh no i had a great time

yeah i think everybody everybody had a shot or two that was keeps coming back you know is that why the the cart the cart lady was just ripping you like upon like her first trip by us because you didn't know the ingredients in the transfusion yeah because she was just being really mean to you and i thought it was hilarious i kind of gave it back to her i was like yeah i was like you don't know what that is or something like that and i think from there it was i thought she was just being really mean to you. And I thought it was hilarious. I kind of gave it back to her. I was like, you don't know what that is or something like that? And I think from there, I thought she was fucking with me. I thought because she was like, oh, this Yankee fuck. She was fucking with you. She's fucking with all of us.

But then I was like, wait, do you actually not know how to make this? And she goes, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Later on, I got some peanuts and Dave said. No, no, no. That was not me. Yes, it was. The honey thing? You ordered some too.

Oh, yeah. You said, I want to put an order in for those too. She was like, put an order in. They're peanuts. You just take them. Okay. I thought you were going to say the... I said something that sounded like it was about to skew inappropriate after you ordered

some honey roasted nuts. That sounded like it was about to skew inappropriate after you ordered some honey roasted nuts. And then I pivoted to make it a non-inappropriate joke. And the look on your face was as if I said the other joke. And I started laughing. Will ordered a hot pretzel on the course. Yeah, we had some weird. I did order the peanuts weird.

Will goes, can I get a pretzel? And we were like, are you going to get a pretzel on, can I get a pretzel? And we were like, are you going to get a pretzel on there? Just a hot pretzel? And he meant a bag of pretzels. If I'm being honest, if she had hot pretzels on that cart... With nacho cheese? I would have gotten one. Yeah.

Why don't they carry tacos? Cart girls haven't evolved. Like, carts haven't evolved lately. Like, they need to have, like, a hot place for, like, breakfast tacos and stuff. Or they've got, like, a built-in hibachi. So she can just go to the back and start whipping it up. I think that's a little aggressive, Dave.

Yeah, if they don't like Blue Jack, there's a hibachi station off 3. Hibachi, huh? Hibachi? No one's saying hibachi. Yeah, dude, show some respect for the bocce. What the fuck's wrong with you? Hibachi. Hibachi is something you do in nantucket with your stoner friends

that's good will thank you imagine playing bocce really fucking high like oh let me test i can't dylan's not a bocce guy which i was upset about i mean i'll play there are much better games no one has ever finished a game of bocce ball yes it's a game are you serious no one even knows how to like keep score people are just doing it talking about they're doing it just to kill time so they don't have to like keep talking to random people at like events you want to play yeah get me out of here i don't want to talk to like these my wife's friends or whatever it is dude you're you're like your squad is only as strong as your bocce games get like if you have a competitive bocce game that means your squad is tight-knit.

No one's ever started a game of bocce and then thought, I'm glad we're doing this. Dude, are you kidding me? It's never happened. It's the best. It's so fun. You guys are idiots. I'd rather throw shoes.

A better game is beer die, to be honest with you. No one knows what that is. No one's ever actually played that game. No one knows how to play that game. Literally nobody's played that. We had a golf-heavy weekend. We finally golfed, though. Coming home from watching golf all Thursday night and Friday night.

By Saturday, I was all horned up to go play golf. Then we got to go home Saturday night and just keep watching. By the end of it, I was tired of it. We had a little primetime golf. PC was sick. I had a great time. Stay We had a little primetime golf. PC was sick. I had a great, I had a great time. Stayed up a little late though.

Yeah. I was definitely sleeping in a little bit longer than I normally was. USA was getting their ass kicked early. Oh my gosh, dude. Did you ever think they were going to lose? Cause I didn't. Yes.

I didn't, but to be honest, I didn't care. President's cup is not something that ruins my Sunday. Patrick Reed's caddy fought a guy. So no actual video came out of the actual exchange of hands being thrown. It's just him walking off, doing the hand raise, like, let's go. After he's already been broken, like security's there,

and he's like 10 feet by. It's that move. The classic bartender, you know, the bouncer kicked you's there and he's like 10 feet by, it's that move. It's like the classic bartender, you know, the bouncer kicked you out and you're like doing this. No one's going to fight after that. It's like me grabbing Dylan's arm and having him put it over my chest and be like, dude, hold me back. I'm going to fuck this guy up. Interesting thing was Patrick Reed's caddy was actually Brother Nature. Is that true?

No. I don't believe so. Wasn't it his wife's brother yeah okay there we go other nature and there we go ah it's pretty good that's good that's really good no saturday or i guess friday the saturday round bummed me out because we got no tiger. And primetime tiger is all I fucking wanted. Friday. So, yes. It's confusing because it's the Saturday round in Australia, but we watched it Friday night. Yeah, mate. We got no tiger. And I was like so bummed.

But all the reasons for it kind of make sense. Do we do anything on Friday? Friday has no... I sat on my on friday and just watched golf the entire day oh i know i didn't do a damn thing except for watch golf again not to flex i did drink half a bottle of bordeaux while watching it uh guess what i did what i picked up a sixer of peroni big fan of peroni and peroni yeah there's one left exactly one in my fridge. Had a pretty big weekend. But towards the end of the round on Friday night, I poured myself a little scotch.

Wow. I made the switch. Wow. I made the switch, guys. Glenlivet 12. You go neat with it? On the rocks. More like Glen Divot.

That first sip. Saturday. Burns going down. Oh, but I love it. It's the best sip, man it It's the best sip man It's the best sip Oh yeah Let it burn

Uh huh Let it burn Nope We're not gonna sing it No we're not What was your favorite moment of the thing? When Tiger at the end was just talking about his boys And how much he loved his boys

Thought about memeing that But I didn't have the opportunity He looked really happy I like that he So Abe Anser and how much he loved his boys. Thought about memeing that, but I didn't have the opportunity. He looked really happy. I like that he – so Abe Anser, who is a Texas guy. He's from – I think he lives in San Antonio or maybe somewhere in the valley or something, but he was born in Mexico. Something confusing.

Anyways, on the international team, he said, I want Tiger. And I don't think he meant it like I want I want to take him down I think because he's first of all the guy's like a rookie President's Cup rookie and so they want to play with Tiger it's like who doesn't it's fine but Tiger I would love to get my ass kicked Tiger of course Tiger took it personally and uh he didn't he didn't blow him out by any means but like he he dominated the match like Thorley. We had cocky Tiger in full effect. He had a 15-footer, 12-footer to win it.

And when the thing is about four feet out, Tiger just kind of starts turning and taking his hat off before the thing's even in the cup to shake his hand. Tight. And then afterward, he said Abe wanted it, and he got it. I want Tiger Woods taking it personally. I saw some people criticizing Tiger for that. Like, dude, he's a rookie.

It's not a big win. And I'm like, I don't care. I want Petty Tiger to take everything personally because I know 2020, he's about to light shit up. That gets me excited for next year. Yeah. It's revenge season for Tiger. I did think it was ridiculous.

Like, the fact that they they it could have ended in a tie very easily and not having a tiebreaker is the lamest that's part of the reason why i'm not really i mean not part of the reason i didn't know until this until like people started talking about it but it really takes away from the final round if it can possibly end in a fucking tie and there's no tiebreaker i think can't they just make a tiebreaker on the spot isn't that what gary and jack did in 2003 they're just like we're gonna share the cup yeah they share the cup and yeah i tweeted it and i was like they these guys just need to if it's a tie they need to go off and be like no we're doing a tiebreaker it's it's not like it's an actual event where like stuff is exchanged like just

have a fucking tiebreaker no one wants to go home from australia without a trophy i need to hop into our mentions and find the uh tron tron from uh nlu no laying up he hopped in a conversation will and i were having which is like a paragraph of of just um just classic tron between between no laying up tweet and uh the uh which tweet the british santa kid i uh i had my mentions were just devastated i had nothing weekend yeah i if anyone just randomly tweeted me and like maybe asked a question or something i'm sorry i didn't respond uh there's way too many fucking people retweeting this generic stupid video that i wish i never tweeted in the first place will said so if jack nicholas can just propose they share the cup in 2003, what's stopping Tiger from telling Ernie that he wants a playoff? Let's party.

I respond, bro, these lads want to get out of there and hit outback, mate. Will responds with the swole kangaroo, which I had forgotten all about. Tron jumps in. This entire thing is a ploy by the tour's PR staff to look fan-friendly and flexible. They're going to let Tiger and Ernie lobby for a playoff and then accede to it. And the tour looks like the good guys.

Yeah, guys, why not? We're hip. Which, man, I love that scorched take. I love the take. And I didn't see that tweet until after the tie was off the table. But my first thought when I saw it was, but still, I want to see the tiebreaker. Even if you're right, I want to see that tiebreaker.

Here comes the tiebreaker. Why does if you're right i want to see that tiebreaker here comes the tie breakup why does your mind go there because dude wilmots is a lifestyle not just a restaurant you want to make it to wilmots over the weekend or i don't know micah was sick so we like he was he's the dj a lot of the time and so was sick, so Wilmots didn't pop off as much as we wanted it to. Oh, that's too bad. Yeah, it's okay. It's all right. I didn't really have that many moments from the cup

that got me super pumped. I don't ever want to see Cooch on a team event again. Why, dude? Electric stuff at the end when he clinched. I know he clinched, but he's... In high school, kids would be like... Okay, I used to get this because i was a joker and like kids class cons people would say you play too much when i see cooch out there him and

phenal i i feel like all i want to say to cooch and like when he misses a putt or something or he fucks up i just want to shake him like did you play too much like take it seriously he looks he like has like this nervous laugh like he's the goddamn Joker. He looks like a psycho. His smile is creepy. Also, he's doing all of this while wearing Skechers. The flex on him. I don't want Skechers on my team event team anymore. Unless they're sponsoring this podcast.

No, that's not. Any closing thoughts? No. Well, Dylan really didn't have much to offer there. No, I really didn't. We were all shitty golfing on Saturday. Who do we think had the low round? Probably Brett.

I went 44 on the front, I think. 44 or 45. And then in the back, I don't know. But I played okay at certain points. I played so bad. I had me at a 90. That's probably right around where I was done. I only finished about five holes on the front.

Brett was mashing his 3-wood off the tee box. Yeah, no one talked about that before Brett came on board at Watch Media, but Brett can absolutely smoke a 3-wood. He's got some club head speed. The ball flight is... Impressive. Thank you. I have to criticize you on this, though.

One of the worst moves I've ever seen is you not pulling pipe on one and you pulling iron. I do that all the time. Just ease into it. Why didn't you go three wood? I didn't know that. I haven't played golf in four months. I didn't know that was in the bag.

The iron is such a dicey prospect off one. People are watching. Yeah. That's why I do it. Just keep it in play. I feel like there's more elements of danger when you when you pull like a long iron off the tee box like it's way easier to hit one off the hosel yes like you're not going to shake my driver as well for me i'm the opposite though you're not gonna hit a driver chunk i hit

one driver all saturday see for me if things go south if things go south off the first tee i'd rather be like 290 from the tee looking for my ball than 220 looking for my ball like as i need to be further away from the group behind us as far away as possible i think with with me i'm never going to be ob with a five iron but i'm going to be ob with a driver pretty quickly. I just don't know how you can work here and not pull pipe. Fair question. Dylan pulled pipe from the fairway. Twice. Worked out, too.

You did it twice? Oh, yeah. One of them absolutely striped. Sorry, Dave and I were probably pretty deep in the Bluetooth speaker game at that point. We also played. I'm glad we played. I was with Dylan and you two were together because we played pretty good cart golf, but we were never near you guys.

I feel like we were always... Will was in more bunkers than Hitler. They were about 60 yards back from us. Don't remind me, dude. Don't remind me. How many bunkers were you playing out of? At least 10. 75% of the holes I was in a bunker at some point.

Some of them I just fucking took it out and I was like, you know what? I'm out of this hole already. I'm not going to go hack it out of the holes i was in a bunker at some point some of them some of them i just fucking took it out and i was like you know what i'm like i'm out of this hole already i'm not gonna go hack it out of the bunker like i'm i'm fucking done with it brett just hit some pots thank you it got to the point where dylan and i were placing odds on you going in bunkers oh yeah i won five bucks off you i got you whatever it's in the mail right i'm good thanks man Whatever. It's in the mail, right? I'm good for it. Thanks, man.

Anybody hit a crazy putt? I don't think so. No. No one made any long putts. I don't make putts, Brett. How much did you win? You just banged. Five bucks.

Dude, do you know where else you can get five extra dollars? Tell me. Cereal school. For real? Yeah, on the real, dog. Tell me about it. You know, you just love cereal. Find me someone in the world that doesn't like a good bowl of cereal you know what the issue is these days

though they're just unhealthy too much sugar in all this cereal man so much added sugar extra carbs like just everything and these these old cereals that we had like they just get bland dry and soggy way too fast and cereal milk doesn't even taste that good either. It's all over the place. Cereal school, however, they let you eat like a kid again with delicious, low-carb, sugar-free, and high-protein cereal. The cereals you're eating as a young kid, they're not high-protein. It's all the flavors you love. Cinnamon bun, fruity, cocoa, peanut butter, and more.

Dude, you got to mix the cocoa and the peanut butter that's the first thing i did when i opened the box boy did that same shit too oh we are all on the same page and i love it i didn't think i was gonna like the cinnabon can i just say that and i ended up liking it oh see i knew i was gonna like it i knew it this company it was founded this year. You aware of that? I love it. I support startups. Get in on the ground floor.

Yep. Wow. Shouts to Helen and Dylan, the founders. It all started with an idea. What if adults could snack like kids again without compromising their health? And you know what? I'm all about this.

There was a company on Shark Tank one time that proposed a milk company that tasted like cereal milk. And every shark was like that's really unhealthy get out of here i'm sure if cereal school went on there to be like yeah sign me up high protein low sugar just like i like it no gluten grain lactose soy or sugar in 16 grams of protein per serving think about that naturally sweetened with zero glycemic monk fruit. 16? I didn't stutter. That's what I was saying, bitch. So when I'm mixing peanut butter and chocolate,

I'm getting 32 Gs of protein? Oh, yeah. Shit. You don't see that. It's all about that monk fruit, player. Sure is. Yep. They're perfectly portioned.

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I finished mine a long time ago. If I'm a little hungry before the gym, I like to just eat it dry. Just get that protein in there. Really kick off some synthesis. Trying to build muscle here, guys. It's working. Yeah, you saw the Arby's polo.

Dave, do you want to do your high school sports slash combat sports? Yeah, hit the button. Add me on the group. That's not it. Dude. That's always it. Hit the theme song.

Welcome to Dave's High School Sports Minute mixed with a little bit of Combat Sports. Thanks, Will. Yeah. It's a little wordy. So we had a tough weekend. That slapped. Saturday was not a great day. i'm gonna mix in a little

nba here uh within the span of 24 hours that uh lost the uh texas commit and uh all-state quarterback jaquinda jackson of the duncanville panthers to what looks like an acl oh really in the state semifinals game I was following it on the course Will could kind of sense a change in my mood and I was I saw that uh somewhat they were up like 35-0 in the second quarter I didn't sense the change in your mood I just sensed that something went wrong because Dave stopped watching where he was driving the cart because he was just watching video of the game and like we were just running over roots everywhere just like yeah things spilling i was like dude we got chill

what's going on that was reckless on my end uh yeah oh it stinks really big bummer like is it torn they'll know today but i mean it's yeah looks like Yeah, it really sucks. Nothing's right, I'm torn. And come on. They brought in their, but their backup is a freshman. He came in and he balled. He's already got an offer from Kansas the day after the game. Got to snatch that up. He's a baller, but he's a freshman. You might want to wait out a little bit.

Dude, commit. Commit, dog. Yeah, I think he's going to, because there's no way Les Miles is even there when he graduates. So they're going to state again, and they're playing. It's a rematch against Galena Park North Shore, the Houston area school that beat them on a Hail Mary last year. So it's a rematch, but backup quarterback.

So if they somehow pull this out, which they definitely can because their defense is insane, it'll be like miracle type shit. Is the freshman quarterback, is his name Chris Parsons? So it's not Matt Saracen or anything like that? No. Are you going to the game, Dave? No.

It hurt me too much to be there last year. Jerry World, I would assume. You got screwed over last year. It was great. Shout out to Harrison for the field pass. I wish you would have been on camera. I had to leave, dude. It was emotional.

I felt, I was just watching these kids like crying on the field. And I was like, man, this is, I can't be here. Should we send wash media foreign correspondent hashtag Chad to the game? Yep. Ooh, he's a good luck charm. The Cowboy game yesterday. We done boys again, Dylan. I turned that on in the fourth quarter.

You got to think there's a Super Bowl in their future. Got to think so. Immediate future. You love being 7-7. Probably the favorites. You're right where you want to be. You got hot at the right time. Go home Saturday night ready to watch a little Mavs basketball.

Flip it on. About a minute and a half into the game, Luka rolls his ankle pretty severely, and he is out. And so it was just a deflating Saturday. Deflating for me. Is that why you didn't go out with us after? Honestly, yeah. I was a little bummed.

Oh, man. It's okay, man. It's okay, dog. And my wife picked up a Ziti from Central Market. Dude. And they're pretty good. Oh. Yeah.

I posted a photo. i got that the other night it's i posted it uh from my panic room on sunday night and uh someone some like italian food hardo came at me talking about how i didn't cook it long enough and i was like bit like i put it in the fucking oven like the directions said like dude no you do have to cook it longer than the directions say because the whole thing does not get warm no but they were saying like baked zd is an art form, blah, blah, blah. I was like, shut up. Calm down.

That dude's probably never eaten gobble ghoul. What is that, by the way? It's a salami, I think. It's like a meat. Okay. It's the gobble ghoul. Gobble ghoul. That was good, dude.

Peroni. Wow. Dude, I fucking crushed that Dude I love Peroni And that's not even a bit No I like it It's a great beer You want some Gabagool

I like it too I've never I've never Shot away from Accepting a Peroni Was that the name of Tony's boat The Gabagool

What was the name of his boat Hey Gabagool I don't know It's a pork cold cut Dylan I was kidding You weren't actually good at that So you don't have to keep doing it

No I am Okay Oh Gabagool is Capicola Capicola Capicola It's a pork cold cut. Dylan, I was kidding. You weren't actually good at that. No, I am, dude. So you don't have to keep doing it. No, I am. Okay. Oh, Gabagool is Capicola. Capicola. Capicola. We're really good at this. Do y'all want to play the dude who did the Soprano's, the Tony Soprano impersonation? That was pretty good.

That guy's funny. Dude, that guy was insanely good. It was creepy. Hey, I'm walking over here. Go to Thornburg. Climate change. Oh, that guy. Yeah, that guy.

I thought you were talking about the other guy in the jumpsuit. No, no, no. Not jumpsuit Italian guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That guy was good, too. Jumpsuit Italian guy. He went viral last week, man.

He was... The guy that walked in the room and just looked at everybody? No. But that guy's fucking funny, too. That dude's tight. Oh, so many funny people out there. Dave, what's the Combat sports minute Big card

So anyway Bought the fights Watched them at home Micah was sick We were gonna go Watch the fights But uh Under the weather

Even though I think I feel like I saw a photo On Instagram Like he was out So I think he was Faking it Do you think Well you look like

You know something Well I mean I asked yesterday Hey how you feeling He said I'm feeling Really good Blah blah blah And I was like

Not good enough To have us over Like He said, I'm feeling really good, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, well, not good enough to have us over, like you said. Yeah. I decided on Wednesday that we were all going back to Mike's house. Should I steal his joy? His new Mac? Yeah, his new Mac,

since he stole joy from us on Saturday night. Absolutely. I was psyched to go back to Mike's place and have Dan fall asleep on the couch. Yeah. So watch the minute at home. and let me just tell you what an excellent card bry uh brett i almost called you bryce did you did you watch it oh i saw uzman won i didn't watch it though beat colby covington the uh noted trump troll he's a troll who is a

guy and it's a complete it's it's a bit uh that he apparently adopted so he didn't get cut from the roster and it's worked out but yeah he got his jaw broken and ended up getting finished in the fifth round yep quite satisfying to many because he's a little i mean he's a punk that's what it's his it's his thing he's a heel the uh counter cowboy fight is like really close right january yeah second second or third week in jan. We have to get together and watch that. I think it's January 18th, isn't it? Or 19th? It's the Saturday after we're in Dallas.

Okay. We have to watch that. It's not how the song goes, Will. It's close. I'm going to remake Paris by the Jetsmokers. I'm going to remake Paris by the Chainsmokers. And I'm going to remake it with just the lyrics pertaining to Dallas. Shout out.

I don't think you should do that. Well, too late, dog. No one wants to hear that. Dude, everyone wants to hear that. Shout out to the Metroplex's own Jeff Hands of Steel Neal. God, that song stinks. By the way. This guy fights.

I don't know if he's doing it anymore so he's got four fights in the ufc he's four and oh okay four finishes uh he's been waiting tables and bartending at like texas roadhouse and like mesquite while he's doing all this love it and now he is like no mesquite not love it okay now he is on the fast track to a title fight. I think he's got like one or two more fights. But Jeff Neal, G-E-O-F-F. Remember the name. Hands of Steel. Not a big fan of the spelling of G-E-O-F-F.

I'm not either. I don't get it, man. Why do they got to do that? I just don't. I don't love it. G-Off. We had a pledge and we called him, that's how he spelled it,

and we just called him G-Off. It just doesn't make any sense. And then he got initiated, and we still called him Geoff. Geoff. What are you doing? I mean, it's better than Geoff, you think? J-E-F-F. Yeah, we understand.

No one's doing J-E-O-F-F. No one has the balls to do that. Geoff? It sounds like a Game of Thrones character. Geoffrey? Geoff. I'm a big Geoffrey guy. No one is aff what if they i'm a big joffrey guy no one is a joffrey i'm a big joffrey guy no one is yeah what if they spelled it g-e-o-f-f-e-r-y

geoffrey that'd change the show oh geez oh man is there a jeffrey that's that uses the g-e method geo probably that's that. That's extra bad. The most famous G-off I know is Jeff Ogilvie of Australian golf fame. Sure, sure. Ah, he was one of the assistants. He's a champion, I believe. One of the assistants for Ernie.

Cool. Sick. Oh, boy. Brett, do you have any breaking news for us? well as a matter of fact i do i'm glad you asked a little choose your adventure here guys uh do you want to go hallmark channel scar joe or geopolitical uh banking regulations scar joe host of snl this week most of the skits weren't funny she called colin jost the love of her life on snl okay and like during a skit they're dating yeah like during the during the

oh i did not know that they addressed their uh their engagement on the show oh call she called colin jost the love of her life good for them. Which I think is a pretty good pull for Jost there. Yeah. He's apparently attractive. Also a scratch golfer. What? Really? Yeah, he plays at Pebble Beach every year, right?

Yeah, he's sneaky, an excellent player. I like him. What's his background before us now? I've had some bad takes on him before, but I've come around to him. What'd you ask? Was he before SNL? What was he?

Probably a writer on SNL. I think he worked at Mad TV. He was a Fazoli's guy for a little bit. Delivery driver. Fazolian Isles? Yeah, he worked his way up the Italian food chains. He did get all the way up to the big leagues. He was at Olive Garden for a little bit, but then he pivoted.

The one in Times Square. That's the Mecca. Yep. He did some time with Magianos. He was not. After Fazzoli's, he spent some time at Sparrow, and it just didn't go that well for him.

She's still against all social media. Scarjo? Isn't she an anti-vaxxer? I don't think that's right. I think that's Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, she's off the grom. Okay. That's too bad.

She had some great picks. There's a fake account of her that has 195,000 followers. That's pretty good. Yeesh. Hey, Dylan. What's up, dog? Hallmark Channel says it's going to reinstate its ads featuring a same-sex couple

following the backlash that they got for taking the ad away from same-sex marriage uh what's the opposite of advocate dissenter i don't know yeah um so basically they they you know hallmark channel movies this time of year uh-huh um so they played an ad during the commercial what i'm just laughing because i'm just dylan's reaction to what you're saying because it's kind of hard to follow i'm trying i heard i know this because i heard commercial with the two guys kissing the two women two ladies oh i'm thinking of a commercial i heard this story this morning so i know that but it's just oh yeah peloton has it that's right yeah people are still

that stuff's all over the all over tv now how are people still open arms about that they have they have a new one is they oh it's on wait so wait there's an ad with two people on a peloton two chicks on pelotons kissing what is the i don't understand you peloton commercial has two guys kissing okay i'm joking i don't know what oh i thought you were serious but there is a commercial out there where two guys are kissing it's just like very normal now yeah yeah probably is will what's up any thoughts on this commercial i don't i don't watch hallmark movies around this time of year i refuse i think they're terrible the plot is so guessable every single time that's like the fun of it sally sally sally has been what she watched she used to watch them all the time she doesn't watch them as much anymore but she's so seasoned in it that i can't even

watch it because she knows every single thing that's going to happen she's just well versed it's annoying and the acting is terrible i don't need to see lacey chabot or whatever her name is in every single one you know i'm in one yeah tracy chapman she's in one? It's called Fast Car. Give me a little rest, I hear. They could make that into a pretty solid little movie. The song Fast Car? Yeah. It'd be a sad movie, but I mean, I could see them doing that. Let's get the movie rights back.

Wait, so Hallmark looks like the bad guy in this, right? Yeah. Hallmark looks like the bad guy because they pulled the ad initially after a petition of like a million moms out there. Oh, God. Said, we don't want our kids seen as same-sex. No, I think the organization was called like Million of Moms or Millions of Moms or something. It wasn't literally a million people.

I don't think a million people literally signed the petition. I think the name of the organization had something with millions and moms in the title. Moms with millions? Probably. Probably a bunch of of cranky white moms that are like, ew, get that off my screen. That's what they said.

How do they explain that to their kids? That's my favorite. You gotta think. And then Hallmark said, because of the backlash they received from that, double backlash here, they put it back down. Oh, dude.

You can't go double backlash. You gotta just commit to your position. The double backlash is tough. Hey, Dave. Hey. The reigning in of bank risk after the financial crisis is giving way to a loosening of rules in terms of banks using their own funds in trading.

Wow. They're loosening up. Are you tying this back to the predatory lending thing? I might be, yeah. I still want to explore that. This is really interesting, man. Keep going. This wasn't for you, Don.

Keep going. Why did you think it was for me? You think I know what I'm talking about? Aren't you into geopolitical banking regulation? No. I mean, I like that I have that air about me, but no. Keep thinking it, though. Basically, I'm just saying.

I'm more of a neopolitical guy. Look out. That was another matrix callback dylan take your bitcoin out put it in cash put on your mattress i should buy cash no no you should you should sell your bitcoin and just take the cash and put it under your mattress okay dude dylan i'm gonna loan you like a bunch of money at like a predatory rate one day i probably just won't accept yeah i'm gonna be i'm gonna be a predatory lender for you why is predatory lending such a recurring theme on this fucking podcast that's where that was micro lending you know it'd be tight if like that was when you lent

somebody like your pet jaguar or something okay what would you need it for though just like to go show off at like r on a Saturday or something. That's tight. Do you think people would bat an eyelash, or do you think it would just be like that? If he had a jag? Yeah. You have to muzzle it.

He doesn't bite. Don't worry. He might claw your eyes out, but he won't bite you. Killing for sport. Any news on the 295-pound mountain lion? No. Keep us posted, Dylan. I got you, Doug.

You didn't follow up, did you? I got you, Doug. Follow up one time for me. Okay. All right. True. All right, Brett. You're two for two on stories.

No, that was all three. We hit them all. Oh, damn. Really? Yeah, it was that bad. Colin Jost, Tom Arkin. Oh, I didn't know Colin Jost was a story. Okay. Predatory landing. Dylan likes that one. Colin Jost, Hallmark. Oh, I didn't know Colin Jost was a story.

Okay. Predatory lending. Dylan looks so bad off. I just looked to see if there's anything in the news about this mountain lion, and there's still nothing. I think that was a Photoshopped photograph. Wow. I don't think so. Makes you wonder.

Did your family get that off Facebook by any chance? No, it was sent to my stepdad by his best friend. Did they get it from LiveLeak? Why would Blake Lively have that? Let's just move on. Let's get out of here. No, no, no. I want Brett.

Brett, give us a wowie. Give us like a... A random? Yeah. An off script? Yeah. All right script? Yeah. All right, I'll go with the first thing that's trending here. Oh, this will be good.

It's going to be whoopee. Yeah, don't do whoopee. We've already done whoopee. Drum roll, please. Carly Fiorina says Trump impeachment is vital, but doesn't rule out voting for him in 2020. I like that you know it's kind of it's like it's the alonzo morning uh chip like okay yeah makes a lot of sense she's really she's hedging

her bets there number two is battle of the bulge dylan you know anything about that are we still doing this no dave said go off script to me a wow so i wanted him to give me like just a random we're going back to the script if you have any stories christmas or new year's send them to worst of it wash media.com you're not doing any work anyway just go sit there and type i want to hear your story we'll see you guys tomorrow for the worst of christmas part one let's go. Bye.