Circling Back - Going To Space with Bezos & Drunk Bike Rides

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

To kick off yet another Podcast Week, we respectfully go off. We recap our Weekends in Fun, discuss the clout-chasing mom who snuck into her daughter’s school for TikTok, do a classic Worst Of story for all the Patrons out there, and Bezos heads to space. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (11:12) Recapping This Weekend (31:24) Mom Sneaks Into School For TikTok Clout (47:30) The Worst Of: To The Choppa (1:05:14) Bezos in Space Support This Episode’s Sponsors Tushy: www.hellotushy.com/circling (10% off + Free Shipping) Stamps: www.stamps.com (4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale) Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFries to my right. That milk drinking boy, David Carter Ruff. This chocolate milk filled with DHA omega threes supporting my brain health. It's like straight up flirting with ghost status. Is that goaded? Like what I'm doing right now.

It's just, it's like, it's got goat tendencies. That's all I'll say. You're just drinking chocolate milk. Dude, could it be goat's milk? No, but it's different. Dude, I mean, it's got a cow on it, but like, you never know. Dude, is that goat's milk? Nah, I don't know where the goat milk.

I mean, I'm not going to say the name because I don't want to give them free publicity, but just know that their organic low-fat milk is not going unnoticed, as I am drinking it. Sheesh. Before the pod and during. Because I learned last week, don't do Diet Coke during the pod. Get a little burpy, a little gassy. That's why I can't.

Isn't Celsius, you guys always drink that Celsius. Isn't that carbonated? Yeah, it's carbonated. I don't understand how people can sit around drinking carbonated beverages all day at the office. Yeah, it's carbonated. I don't understand how people can sit around drinking carbonated beverages all day at the office. There are those people out there that drink 13 sparkling waters at their desk all day. Isn't it Tom Herman who drank 10 Cokes or something stupid?

That's too gassy, fam. How are you not going to be burping all day? Oh, they be burping. I bet most college football coaches are just mainlining soda pop. Well, college football coaches are built different. Soda pop? Yeah. How old are you and where are you from?

Dude. Soda pop? I got dragged on Twitter for calling it a pop machine the other day. I know you did. What did you put on your pop machine, Doug? I would have said soda machine. Soda machine is what I would say. No, but what five are you putting on your tap if you have your own?

Coca-Cola Classic. Of course. Oh, I'm doing it. I'm falling you have your own? Coca-Cola Classic. Of course. Oh, I'm doing them. You have to do Coca-Cola Classic. Whoa. Dr. Pepper. Okay. These are classics.

These are all goated. Just blue chip beverages. These are goated. These are all goated. Is it bad if I threw Diet Coke on there? I love Diet Coke. I guess. You're so bad.

I understand why people drink Diet Coke because of obviously health reasons, but I've never understood the people that prefer the taste of Diet Coke over the taste of Coca-Cola Classic. I used to think exactly like that. One day I was like, you know what? Diet Coke is low-key goaded, and I've been drinking it ever since. My fifth one is going to be an orange soda. I don't know the brand. I don't know the brand.

Okay, that's fine. I would just be Surge across the board just so it just shrinks my nuts. If I had to replace Diet Coke, I would do so with root beer. Like A&W? Barks. Cream?

I'm sorry? No, root beer? Pervert? Aren't you a big fan of cream soda? There's a root beer pervert cream soda aren't you a big fan of cream soda there's a root beer cream soda in there is that different there was one on yours

that I didn't even recognize or hadn't even heard of probably Vernors what's Vernors it's a ginger ale made in Michigan ginger ale low key

is good if you're anywhere in Michigan it's on like all the machines it's in every single convenience store the kind of thing

growing up when you went somewhere else I was like wait they don't what I down here. It was the kind of thing growing up when, like, you went somewhere else. I was like, wait, they don't – what? I wonder if it's made with real ginger. Who knows? It is goaded, though, for sure. People that like it will love it.

I do love me some ginger ale. Sorry. Wow, that's crazy. Most ginger sodas, Vernors included, don't have any actual ginger or ginger extract included in the ingredient list. I mean, that's basically what I remember. That's weird. I have a ginger.

All five of Dave's is just jilt cola. Just getting wired all day. Well, it's actually six because you have to have the one in the middle that's just the ice, and then you have three on each side. You know what I mean? Well, then why did you ask me what my five are? I reclarified. Run the tape, Randy.

I reclarified. This chocolate milk's got to be one of them. No, David. You want a This chocolate milk's got to be one of them. No, David. You want a chocolate milk tap. Check this out. Business idea. A pop machine. With how popular seltzers are, hard seltzers, seltzers alike.

Which six fizzy flavors are you asking? A chocolate milk seltzer. A cheltzer. A cha-milk seltzer. David, I don't like what you're doing those things just don't you know you know why because you live in this world where you're inside your box and you just want to hear ideas that you like already agree with you don't want to hear disruptors like me idiot box no i'm not no i'm not i'm in your box there are people i just infiltrated

inside box joke right now but i'm not gonna do that. I think Dave just low-key accidentally made one. He said he'd get it in my box. No, I didn't say that. You can't do it, man. You don't want Dave in your box, dude. Pull the tape from me. Dude, you throw it to me in the box. I'm going to back your ass down and lay it up.

Oh, okay. And one. Sheesh. Sheesh. What is that shit? I don't know. We're in a post-sheesh world now that Brooks and his girlfriend are doing it on Instagram. Yeah, and also the Paul brothers did it last night.

That's fine. They're TikTok sensations. And YouTube stars. They're also like adults. You know, I... So you just came in? Yeah, T-Man. T-Pop.

T-Pop? Yeah. Don't call him T-Pop. Who it's t-pop is that really what y'all are doing pop up there that's on your pop machine pop is like pop strikes me as like what they would say in greece oh yeah the movie that you can't watch because it gives you anxiety dude it's the opening scene it's a great song dude it's it's just weird to me the cartoon stuff i just there's something about 70s disco era stuff that just freaks me out i don't know what it is i don't vibe with it the cartoon it's the cartoon it's

not the actual movie it's just the cartoon of like whatever i know it's not disco era it's more like is it disco cd no it's not oh my god cd i feel likeD. No, it's not disco. Oh, my God, it's C&D. I feel like the movie's setting is not disco era, but the soundtrack has a lot of disco in it. Yeah, and the opening scene cartoon thing had disco vibes, and I just didn't fuck with it. I'm sorry. I'm riding a different wave, honestly.

Yeah, because didn't the Bee Gees do a lot of the grease? Hard to say, dude. We'll never know. There's no way to look that up either I don't know you can't you can't find out anywhere they did a song called grease very cool Frankie Valli I think that's who did the opening song oh see I fuck with Frankie Valli Frankie Valli I would love to see Frankie Valli do you go through those phases where you get into like some Frankie Valli like some do-up stuff oh yeah for like two days and then you're like yeah yeah, I'm good. It's real easy. I can slide into some Motown for like, yeah, like a week, and then I'm like, okay, these songs are all two minutes long, and I've heard them all ten times.

I think I'm good. Yeah. Dylan's like, nah, dude. You guys hear this new Travis Scott sicko mode? That song's goaded. What are you talking about? That actually came on the other day. It was on some like TikTok or something like that, and I was like, fuck, I forgot how hard this went.

When it comes on, you've got to let it play through, man. Dylan will text you and be like, hey, have you ever heard of this Moneybag Yo? You've got to check it out. It's got some good stuff. What is Moneybag Yo? He actually was a part of the presentation last night at the Fist Exhibition. Did you pay money for that i don't discuss that publicly well that means yes i know there was a part of me that thought you

know like if somebody invited me somewhere to go watch this like i don't even think i would i would do that well the problem is will um i was at uh was at dinner and i realized that i might miss the fight and I was like I don't want to find a stream so I just I got it I downloaded the Showtime app and got on my phone problem is I had to watch it on my phone at my house because I couldn't I didn't want to like go through the process of signing up for Showtime on my TV all that shit and let me tell you this more on this on too much dip later the Showtime app is an absolute abject failure it is shit it is disgraceful and the espn plus app just the espn app in general puts it to shame

they should be embarrassed can i do you have so do you have like showtime i think showtime is like one of those things i had i'll get it when i need it like when i wanted to finish watching homeland a few months back or like a year ago. Billions. Or Billions. I'll go on. You can watch Billions just on Amazon Prime now. You don't have to have Showtime to watch the back episodes of that, which is big because I think I might get into it.

But I really want to start. I want to get Sally into watching Californication. She's never seen that. And I'm like, dude, this is a great show. Just toss on an episode a night. Knock out. It is a good show. I miss it.

Oh, by the way. Bay and I started Ted Lasso. Oh, look at footy Dylan over here. Footy. Dude, that's pretty good. You weren't even watching CONCACAF. I'm only, what? I'm only three eps in. It's a feel-good show.

It's the most feel-good show. It's a feel-good show. It only gets more feel-good. After watching Mare of Easttown and Your Honor, which are total downers, I needed this. It'll pick me up. This is the ultimate pick me up. Of course, Your Honor. Get it?

You get an intro of this idiot? Oh, Dylan Shivery in the building. You can't say it like that, man. I'm a part of the show. Mr. Skin Milk himself. I'm super happy to be here, man. Little taco salad. Super happy to be here.

They call you little taco salad? No one's calling me that. I did get a taco salad last night, though. Dude, don't ruin this weekend in fun. Recapping it, dude. What are you doing? Sorry. It wasn't goaded.

I'm sorry, dude. What is A-Town here? It's weird that you ordered... Yeah, he's getting some gum or something. It's weird that you ordered a taco salad from a... Fuck up those snacks, A-Town. ...from a Tex-Mex restaurant that wasn't goaded. Yeah, I know.

It's almost like that's on you. Dude, he's just in there fucking up the snacks. Why is he doing Birdman hands in there? Dude, he's doing the Birdman hands right now. Is he up to something? He's got to be cooking. He's thinking about all the clips he's going to cut. He walked into the Birdman gym.

He's like, I got something for y'all. He walked in, popped some gum, and then he started doing Birdman gyms. Dude, don't talk to him. That's swag. He just kicked KJ out of his deck. Does he run the show here? Dude,

Eitan's the CEO now. Dude, don't sit down and take my mic from me. Seriously, don't talk to him before he's had his snack bar gum.

Like what? Dude, he's goaded right now. What an entrance. He was pretty happy when he saw that I had bought enough Ritz crackers

for the entire office complex. Dude, no one has more Ritz crackers than you. I haven't touched those, by the way. No one just eats Ritz crackers by themselves. I feel like kids do. Not that we have any kids working here. Our kids don't even have teeth. No. You should get

in Cheez Whiz, man. Why can't I buy Cheez Whiz? If we want those crackers to disappear, you gotta get some cheese. You gotta hit them with some whiz. I'm just gonna start taking them home and being like, oh, I guess people are eating them.

Looks like I was vindicated. I will take them home at some point because Parks loves them. Alyssa's gonna be moving shit out of your kitchen and being like, Dave, why do we have

an industrial amount of Ritz crackers right now? I mean, you'd think I went to Costco for that box. I don't know how you got that many Ritz crackers from a normal grocery store. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. 2021, right? Dude, crazy time.

Crazy town. Can we recap this weekend in fun? Presented by a recurring sponsor that I'm a big fan of. Recurring sponsor alert. I'll be honest. I was a little scared that we had lost him as a sponsor, even though we're still fans of them. And I've been talking about this in the studio a lot. It's comeback season.

It's cleanback season. We're all dads in here. We wipe our kids' asses. Dylan doesn't do that anymore because his child knows how to do this kind of stuff. But you and I, we're just wiping asses constantly, Dave. Yeah. It's time to return the favor for Father's Day of your father wiping your ass by getting him a tushy.

You ever heard of tushy? Yeah. Love tushy. For my money, it's the goated bidet. Just putting it out there. Bring your pops into the future with a brand new Hello Tushy 3.0 modern bidet attachment. It's stylish, eco-friendly, easy to install, and will help stop him from flushing his retirement down the toilet. Oh, ha.

Got him. Man, the market. So, I'll be honest. When I first heard that we were getting bidets, I was like, you know, I've never been a bidet guy. No, you don't like to. You've been a teepee guy historically. Yeah, you like teepee for your bunghole.

Yeah, and then so we finally, when we moved into our new place was like all right let's let's let's install this thing we installed it in the master bath i don't go anywhere else besides the master bath at this point i'm addicted to this thing i love it i wish they would make one uh for for babies a baby bidet baby bidet well babies can't sit on toilets dave no but you could hold them up. A little tushy, they might call it. Dude, it's got the automatic self-cleaning nozzle. That's good. It attaches to your existing toilet with no electricity, extra plumbing, or tech support FaceTimes. You don't have to worry about any of that stuff.

Yeah, and it's not one of these expensive, elaborate bidets you see in fancy-ass places. It's just an attachment. No, it's for every man's bidet. That's what makes it so inexpensive. Finally, a bidet for everyone. Sally didn't tell me she was installing this. She just did it on the Lolo? Wow.

It took her all of five minutes. That's how you knew she was bang. That's when you knew she was bang. Dude, you cut so much water use, so much toilet paper use. It's crazy. You think she was trying to tell you something? Yeah. She was like, dang.

Will needs to up his game. I thought you were saying she was trying to tell you something? Yeah. She was like, dang. Will needs to up his game. She was baiting. What the hell? What does that even mean? You don't know this? What does that even mean? Okay, bait. His bait clearly hasn't insulted Tushy at his crib yet.

Yeah, dude. What's your problem? What's going on? I don't know if she's bait yet until she does that. You can also upgrade. I mean, even if your dad already has one, just go upgrade him to the Hello Tushy 3.0. It's the new revolution. So have him join millions of people that are happy with the Hello Tushy customers.

And right now you can get a clean butt with every flush. Give the gift of a clean butt. Go to hellotushy.com slash circling. Get 10% off plus free shipping. This is a special offer for our listeners at hellotushy.com slash circling for 10% off. hellotushy.com slash circling for 10% off hellotushy.com slash circling. Dylan, not that anyone cares, but what did you get into this weekend? I don't think that's very nice.

Thanks for asking, Will, in kind of a rude way, really. Yeah, sorry. But Friday night, I had a little dinner with Bay, Lil' Bay, and Parks. It was wonderful. We're doing Lil' Bay now. Yeah. Actually, I believe you came up with Lil' Bay. One of y It was wonderful. We're doing Lil' Bay now. Yeah. Actually, I believe you came up with Lil' Bay. One of y'all did like a couple weeks ago, and then Bay ended up loving that y'all called. Who's Lil' Bay?

Her daughter. Oh. Bay's daughter, Lil' Bay. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I mean, yeah. I don't know if Lil' Bay has legs, but we'll see. Don't tell Bay that because she loves it.

So anyway, we had a great little dinner. That was Friday. Saturday, hung out with Parks. What did I do Saturday? Not a whole lot. Oh, yeah, you guys had much more fun than I did. I kind of stayed in. Parks, we just had a low-key kind of night.

It was good, though. Got some good quality time with the little guy. Yesterday, KJ has been in town all weekend. We linked. Minus Will, of course. Did you build, though? We built. Okay.

We built. We linked. Got a beer. Watched a little playoff basketball. Sorry, Dave. And then we had a little dinner at Matt's. What are you doing? Yeah, that was an unnecessary stretch.

I'm sorry. Dave was talking about backing people down in the post earlier, and I didn't even touch the basketball talk because I was scared. I quickly changed the subject, actually. I didn't want to get into it. We linked at Matt's. Brett joined us. Big game Brett Merriman. Oh.

He was there. We got some knockout martinis off. Not me. Oh, yeah. Dave got fancy boy margaritas, like top shelf, skinny, whatever. Rancherita. They've got fancy boy margaritas, like top shelf, skinny, whatever. Rancho Rita.

It's kind of a, let's just say, a new twist on an old favorite. That old favorite being the El Dave. Man, what I love about Matt's El Rancho is how they raised the price on stuff and made their menu smaller. It's really great. Yeah, and how they take care of their customers. Dude, I had four, counted four pieces of steak in my taco the other day. They used to hit you with like 12. Damn.

That's 12 pieces of steak. That's a lot, dude. And that pretty much wraps up my weekend. It was a really good weekend. Okay. Really good weekend. Look at you. Nothing crazy happened.

Just a good solid one, you know. Look at Dylan. Dave, what about you, dog? Let's hear it, man. I don't know, man. I just watched the mavs friday was sad friday um went to bed friday night woke up saturday morning uh did some errands had to go to lowe's buying uh had to buy a new water line for the fridge connection um we're moving next week. Fun.

And so we've already started the process, moving our stuff over to the new place. And just been going back and forth to and fro. Fro? Fro. Sure. Where is that even from? Ain't hard to say.

Where is that fro? No, that's like... Old English? Like Canterbury Tales shit and shit. Is it Dickens? Hard to say, dude. Old Chuck Dickens? It was the worst of times.

Seriously, yesterday was. Game seven. Tough scene. What did that? Watched a little F1 yesterday morning. Last night, though. Kind of got me back in a better place. Because you know me.

I normally only follow La Liga exclusively. But when CONCACAF rolls around, I'm dialed. So I flipped over to the CONCACAF game, which was the United States versus Mexico. And let me tell you this. If you were going to ask if this was a friendly, there was nothing friendly about this match. These guys on the pitch just clearly don't like each other, and it just ended in just beautiful fashion

We had a backup goalie Making a big save on a PK Wow And I went to bed a little bit happier Than I was before Oh yeah I went to dinner with them too Did you believe that we would win? I believe that we will win

My right leg's asleep What's going on? What a lame chant that is Oh dude I picked up Fritz yesterday to go put him in the docket tot We will win. My right leg's asleep. What's going on? What a lame chant that is. Oh, dude, I picked up Fritz yesterday to go put him in the Dock-A-Tot so I could go serve myself some dinner. And after I stood up, I realized that my legs were going to be very asleep, and I was stuck in my tracks just holding him. I couldn't move.

Oh, no. I didn't know what to do. I was like, yeah, I just need to stand here for the next three minutes while my legs tingle. Hope he doesn't squirm. It's electrifying. Squirmy. Little squirmy?

You can call him little squirmy. Little squirm? That's a cool weekend, man. We need to do more Sunday night dinners. No, no. Less of those. I think we should do more like Friday, Saturday. You didn't even come. What are you talking about, dog? Exactly. That's why I don't want to do it.

Calm down. I don't like going out to dinner on Sunday and then getting back and it being like 9 o'clock and then it's like, well, what do I do? I'm in no man's land right now. Dude, I love the Sunday night vibe.

I can do an early... I like the early Matt's vibe at like 4 o'clock on a Sunday. You just get really full and then you go home and you still have the same amount of time that you would have if you went at like 6 or 7.

Or if you didn't go at all. Whatever. I'm lame. I know that. I i'm old i'm washed dude i'm washed up i went to bed at 9 48 last night 9 48 exactly hey uh david if you're looking for a team to ride if you want like a hop on a heater right now my golden nights are looking strong i'm falling i'm aware and i will continue to monitor more on that on Too Much Dip later today, folks. You know Brett's not here, so you're going to have to do our exclusive hockey content. You're talking puck. If there's something our listeners really enjoy, it's me breaking down hockey. So tune in, folks.

I mean, dude, look, there's nobody better suited to break down the NHL. I'm talking wristers. I'm talking dumping and chasing. Dylan, you've got to get past dumping chase. Yeah. I thought you used to chase and then dump, and then you got a wrister. I get it, man. Gee, I don't know what you're doing.

I'm talking hockey. What are you talking about, pervert? No, but the dumping chase has been in your dome for a long time. You guys are mixing in four check talk and stuff like that. The boys are dumping in Jason, though. What are you talking about? You were Ross. By the way, happy birthday, Ross. Noted New York Times bestseller. I just want to give a happy birthday to my sister.

Not a New York Times bestseller, but she's wonderful. What's your sister's name? Betsy. Betsy, thank you for making Will an uncle. Thank you for making Will an uncle. Let me be the first to congratulate you on that. Wow, big for Betsy and for Ross. You didn't even say anything.

Betsy Ross over here. What were you saying about hockey? About flag-sewing ass? About talk some shit? What were you going to say? About what? About dumping and chasing or whatever. No, then it's just that I remember just you could never really understand

why they were doing that. I thought you were more of a Vinny Chase guy. I understand. It just moves the action down the ice. I get it. I like to see some dope passes in traffic, you know, and put one glove side. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? I love a good glove side pass in traffic. No, I mean, no, a goal. We can move on. Dude, if it's me, I'm going for a wraparound every time. That was kind of my thing back in the day. In NHL 94, the video game, I was trying going for a wraparound every time. That was kind of my thing back in the day. In NHL 94, the video game, I was trying to do a wraparound every single time for no reason. No, I wrap around.

I'll wrap around you. It's tricky to wrap around. Wrap those legs around. What? It's tricky. He's doing Run DMC. A song you'll probably discover in a week. Oh, I know that song.

Got him! Isn't that the song that the we work guy adam newman had the after he laid off a third of the company like they did tequila shots and had uh one of the run dmc guys come out probably no they really did yeah i know what you're talking about i don't remember they hired run dmc for the post layoff meeting that's a flex say what you want about adam new guess, you know, running a business is tricky. It's tricky. What band would we hire

if we had to lay off a third of the company? Ain't hard to say. At Grand X, after you guys got laid off, we just had Gary Clark Jr. come in and he just did some guitar solos

to get the spirits up. Really? Yeah, it was pretty sick. Yeah, that's the part that hurt the most somehow less than the rent we paid on this place is that the final nail yeah it's just like god that's like a what's it take how much does gary clark jr cost to get like just a few solos just come in not not full band just him and an amp and a guitar how much much do you think Leon Bridges costs? Because I looked it up the other day. Not intentionally, but I Googled him.

And the first thing that came up. For a full set? Yeah, full set. The first thing that came up was how much does it cost to book Leon Bridges? And I was like, well, I'm interested. $100K. $800K. No, way less than that, Dylan. $100K.

$200K. Okay. I feel like you could negotiate that down a little bit. Maybe it depends on how much travel. He normally travels from you could negotiate that down. A little bit. Maybe it depends on like how much travel. He normally travels from Fort Worth per the website. So if you can reduce his travel time. Oh, he's in Funky Town. He's a Fort Worth guy.

Or Cowtown, as they say it. Or the Fort. The Fort. Yeah, I spent some time there, not to brag. Never went to Jotis, though. You know the Stockyards? Oh, yeah, you say it. It's my backyard.

You say Fort Worth. Yeah, I don't even know how to say it correctly. It's just in my brain. Have you been to the Stockyards? Yeah. Did you like it? It was fine. Did you get in a bar fight?

Yeah. It's tough to be there when every dude looks at you like they want to fight you. Who's this city boy? You're not from around here, are you? I can see his ankles. Why is he not wearing boots? Why is he wearing Chelsea boots? Come on in.

Him don't look like no Luke Hayses. No. Bring your boys in here. No, no. I don't think the Stockyards has that saloon. What can we get you? Hey there, cowboy, can we get you a... Trust me, they would have liked...

Trust me, if Stockyards had the Dick Saloon, I would have been there all the time. You look like you could use a martini. Best martini this side of the Stockyards. Is no one going to ask what I did this weekend? No, I went off, dude. You want a little blue cheese and them olives there, cowboy? You kind of snapped on Saturday. Dude, I didn't just snap on Saturday.

I went the fuck off. So I did something preventative on Friday night because we were getting newborn photos taken on Saturday morning. So on Friday night, I decided to not drink because I was like, you know what? I don't want to wait. I don't want to have one too many and then all of a sudden wake up all puffy and gross and feeling gross about these photos. I got to look hot.

Spoiler alert. Your boy looked hot. Dude, I can't wait to see. Yeah. Gross. And so. Pick the pics. Woke up.

Our place is now officially done. Everything's hung on the walls. You can officially have your drill back, Dylan. Oh, wow. Yep. I only had it for two months. Yeah. So shout out to him.

Did you borrow his drill? Mm-hmm. What kind of drill do you got? Cobalt. Black and Decker? It is a, I forgot. It's the dope kind. Okay.

The yellow one that, it's good. It's good. It's Okay. The yellow one. It's good. It's good. It's top of the line. I got a dime that's top of the line. That's the sound my drill makes. I don't think the company is called Dime. Why can I not think of the brand? Yeah, we did the newborn photos.

Got to admit, way easier than I thought they were going to be. I thought that was going to be a beating. It took like 45 minutes. As it turns out, you can't really take photos of babies for that long because they've got to sleep. Yeah. Kind of a convenient thing. And then because I did do an AFD, an alcohol-free day on Friday, I decided to go absolutely

off on Saturday. It's a DeWalt. Oh, yeah. It is DeWalt. Primo. DeWalt or wider. If I had like a little black and decker one, dumbass. Anyway, go ahead, Will.

Yeah, I went to a little place called La Piscina. That means the pool? The swimming pool. That means the pool. And I got some midday sizzling fajitas on Saturday. And I have to say, if you're looking for the bougiest possible fajitas that you can get in Austin, Texas, look no further than La Piscina. Are they goaded?

They might be goaded? They might be goaded, but just – I don't know if they can reach goat status if it's not somewhere you want to go all the time. Like, I don't want to go there exclusively for fajitas all the time. Is it because it's overpriced or expensive? Yes. Or is it because you just don't want that scene? Both.

It's a bougie poolside scene. If you could get their fajitas at, say, Matt's or somewhere else, would you order those every time? Yeah. Yes, I would. We got the bacon-wrapped filet fajitas. And I can confirm these were not served with shredded cheese. So if shredded cheese is the only way that you can eat your fajitas, please do not go to La Pesina in Austin, Texas. So that woman would not enjoy these fajitas.

She would have just been icing those fajitas out. Yeah. Just staring at it like, nope. Speaking of go-to, who did you run into that night? You saw Bae. Oh, you scared me. I was like, how drunk did I get? I don't remember who I saw. I thought I ran into Vinny Chase or something.

Then I had some hotel bar drinks with Bae. Dylan didn't join. Dylan was invited, but Dylan decided not to join. No, she didn't bring any spaghetti, which I thought was bullshit. That's rude of her. I'll have to bring that up. I'm sorry. Does she not carry leftover spaghetti in her purse for everybody?

I'm embarrassed for us as a unit, as a couple. Don't say it as a unit. As a unit. The family unit. Shut up, dude. Stop. Okay. And yeah, yesterday was an easy one.

Woke up, watched some F1, farted around all day. I was just gross yesterday. I know you didn't meet up with us. That's what I know. I know, Dylan. I was down bad. Between the allergies, the slight hangover from the cocktails at the pool the day before, it was just a lot.

Can you get in the La Piscina pool? I don't think you can. I think you have to be staying at the resort. It's just a lot. Can you get in the La Piscina pool? I don't think you can. I think you have to be staying at the resort. They have a resort pool.

And then they have like a, there's like a, it's also a condo. A what? Condo. Oh. There's a resident pool as well. But it was kind of shitty weather. You didn't really want to go to the pool that day there. No, I know. I just, you know, for future.

Because sometimes, you know, I like to do a dip. You do. Like, I want to toothpick that pool. I want to eat some fajitas and then just do like a pencil. You can't just go eat fajitas and then take a swim if that's what you want i can even if you think i'm gonna wait 30 minutes you don't know me i would have sunk that's probably the worst matt matzo rancho is the worst meal to eat before you go jump into a pool right everybody's drowning sodium popeyes you're cramping like crazy popeye something about mats though man it's the it's do you remember when you were a kid and you would eat, like, a sandwich?

And then, like, you wait maybe just 15 minutes. You feel like a bad boy. Like, oh, I'm going swimming. Fuck this. I'm out. Yeah. I'm going straight to the deep end. You can't stop.

I'm going to see Dave being like, hey, mom. And then just penciling. Oh, yeah. Pencil on that ass. Those dive sticks. Sorry. Those dive sticks that have been sitting down there around the drain for two weeks. I'm getting those.

Yeah. Those are mine. Let's go, Ty. Those are my dive sticks now. My ears are popping. I don't even care. That's bad boy shit, dude. I might even sit on the bottom.

No, dude. Dude, that's crazy. That's inappropriate. That's reckless. I don't care. I don't. Truly. That's it.

Maybe I'll go to La Piscina this week. That sounds delightful I'm going Wednesday You're going again? It was supposed to be a surprise date for Sally on Wednesday And because the only reservation we could get For the amount of people that we needed On Saturday was at La Piscina

In terms of the place we wanted to go I decided, you know what, let's just do it Are you going Hitas again? I'm definitely going Hitas again I'm not going to go bacon wrapped filet with gulf shrimp fajitas But I'm going to go, I decided, you know what, let's just do it. Are you going Hitas again? I'm definitely going Hitas again. I'm not going to go bacon-wrapped filet with Gulf shrimp fajitas, but I'm going to go Hitas. That sounds delightful. Surf and turf. Wow.

You know what else sounds delightful? Not having to go to the post office. Dude, can you imagine? It just absolutely could not be me. People are out there still paying full price for postage, and you don't have to, because Stamps.com does not require you to do that anymore. You can mail and ship anytime, anywhere, right from your computer.

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You probably haven't. You'd probably just pay them like an idiot, Dylan. You're probably right. Yeah. When you send stuff to a residence, there's a little surcharge on there. You don't want to worry about that kind of stuff. You want to reduce your costs as much as possible. Yeah, this sir wants no charge.

Charge? It's a no-brainer, saving you time and money. It's no wonder nearly one million small businesses already use Stamps.com. Stop wasting time going to the post office and go to Stamps.com instead. There's absolutely no risk, and with our promo code circling back, you get a special offer that includes a four-week trial, plus free postage and a digital scale. Yes, I said a digital scale. includes a four-week trial, plus free postage, and a digital scale. Yes, I said a digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts.

Just go to stamps.com, click on the little microphone at the top of the homepage, and type in circling back, no space. Just circling back. That's stamps.com, promo code circling back, stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. We had some old people wiling this weekend and I'm not talking about us. No. The story is... You know what, though?

We did. But the story we're about to do, she's actually younger than us. She's 30. But still very much an adult. What is she doing? Well, the story here says

mother impersonated her teen daughter and attended her school and this isn't getting caught this is not the same story we did a month ago this isn't an 18 year old teen daughter by the way it's a 13 year old the youngest of the teens she thought she was just going to go to class for a whole day and um not only did she go to class but she posted it on youtube and the tick tock so she did all this for a little bit of clout apparently although she's now saying that Not only did she go to class, but she posted it on YouTube and the TikTok. So she did all this for a little bit of clout, apparently. Although she's now saying that she did it to prove that the schools aren't safe. But, I mean, if they caught her, then I don't know. Yeah, like you got in trouble.

Like the El Paso County Sheriff's Office said they were alerted on June 1st. Like what? I don't understand this. This is humiliating like that yeah if your mom wants clout and she's chasing it this hard you got to find a different mom this mom stinks 30 years old imagine this 13 year old who's like you know these are the formative years you're trying to like navigate your way through what is it middle school at this point right and you're like hey why is your mom here dressed like you what's going on do you want to hear what she was wearing yes uh give me a minute um

a yellow marvel sweatshirt hoodie actually is that like the ultimate like all right what are these kids like marvel and what do you got fucking iron. Yeah, she claims she was trying to expose the poor security at the school. I know I grew up in Harbor Springs, Michigan. We didn't exactly have security at our schools. I know a lot of schools do these days, and that's probably a good thing. But, like, I just don't think you're duping that many people when you're 30 years old walking into a seventh-grade classroom. And does this kid not have any friends that would just air this mom out? If a mom was in my class sitting next to me at

the desk, the first thing I'd be like I'd be like, what's going on here? Why is Mrs. Blah Blah Blah right here? Dude, she made it all the way to 7th period. That's where she got busted. Here's a quote. I think the deal breaker for me was actually walking in and posing as a 7th grader. I mean, I'm no spring chicken, but

it wasn't hard. And I made it to all seven periods until the last teacher, she was female. And she said, Julie, can you stay after class? I said, absolutely. She looked at me and she said, you're not Julie. What the fuck? Yeah. If you recognize that in the class, you can't just let class continue. You have to think that might be a threat as there is an adult in your middle school class. By the way, the title of the YouTube video was Going to School as My 13-Year-Old Daughter, Parentheses, Middle School Edition. What other edition would there be? How many in there?

Are you doing other editions of this? Are you going to start going to high school? Can't wait for season two. Y'all got to stop going to school impersonating your kids. Have you thought about doing that for Parks? He's in kindergarten, so no, I don't think I'm going to. If my mom tells me, she's like, hey, you're going to stay home from school this day. I'm not asking very many questions, but if I found out she does this, she's clout chasing in my place, it's on sight.

Oh. Talk about ruining your reputation as a student in a school. Like, oh, that's the one whose mom posed as her to. Can I say at least this wasn't done for. Like, the story I think we did a couple weeks ago. I don't know, whenever. It could have been a year ago. The mom that did the same thing, but, like, it was to get in a fight with, like, a bully or another student.

At least she wasn't, like, trying to settle a beef or, like, worse, like, trying to, like, flirt with the boys. Square up with them 12-year-olds. She's just down on her knees, just like. What a psychopath you can't do this shit don't you have a job go to work yeah what are you doing do something do something that's a great point what like did she like standing in the mirror of her like master bedroom with her marvel sweatshirt on like putting her hoodie up just being like all right this is gonna be some sick fucking game time what music what game time what music did she get ready to like what are the 13 she probably put on fucking eminem

probably put on some jojo siwa stop is jojo siwa cool with the is that the demographic i think probably a little bit younger but i don't really know i don't listen i don't know she gives me the the like you do know yeah well she throws some bangers she's too animated what's her deal no a little bit younger, but I don't really know. I don't know. She gives me the creeps. I was like, you do know. Yeah, well, she throws some bangers. She's too animated. What's her deal? No, she's a real person.

That's kind of her thing. Yeah. I don't like it. She's, yeah, a little bit over the top. She throws banger parties. Everybody knows us. There's only two JoJo's

I fuck with. Casey and JoJo and JoJo, whatever her last name is. Yeah. Joelle? Is that her name? Yeah. She goes by JoJo, thoughJo whatever her last name is. Joelle? Is that her name? She goes by JoJo though.

What about the original JoJo? Just JoJo? What? Y'all are old, man. I didn't get my drip up too. What are you talking about? There's a recording artist named JoJo. Is that KC and JoJo? No, it was jojo it was

it was a nice young lady oh let me ask you this dylan yeah what's up dave hypothetical i got you were i know everything's going great with bay but if you were dating the bachelor bachelorette jojo her name's joelle would you no i wouldn't call her joJo. I'd better keep going with this. Why? Because I... It's her handle. Why? It doesn't roll off the tongue like Joelle does. I'll just... Yeah.

Okay. JoJo's better than Joelle. No, it's not. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Joelle's kind of swag. That's my take. Her and J-Rod's doing good.

Hard to say, man. they're just flipping houses why aren't they getting married they've been engaged for like five years now so she's trying to get the bag she's trying to get her own bag before she has to marry that guy so she this this mom got arrested on charges of criminal trespassing and tampering with the government. Is that a typo? Is it maybe government documents? What's tampering with the government? Tampering with the government.

I need to look that up. But is the point that she was allegedly trying to prove worth getting arrested for? Like, I just don't think it is. I don't think she thought it through, really. Like, this is not a prison. This is a school. Dude, freaking same thing, man.

I'm so tired of school, man. She didn't get found out until seventh period. I feel like at lunch all the teachers were like, dude, what's up with fucking Julie's mom is here. Julie's mom's out back on her phone smoking cigs.

That's not Julie. Fucking paying with a credit card at the cafeteria. She just bought the whole table meat and bean nachos. That was the dope thing when I was in school. Oh, we used to fuck with nachos heavy. Dude, Julie's over there going to town on that Texas goulash. I don't really know what that is.

Only real ones remember Texas goulash day. I remember being shocked my buddy who moved away from uh duncanville moved to durango colorado i went visit him visit him in ninth grade and this is like 1998 i'm i'm old and um i went to school with him and they didn't and it wasn't like a thing where i checked in and they gave me a badge i just went to school with him and they didn't and it wasn't like a thing where i checked in and they gave me a badge i just went to school with him and i just showed up in every one of his classes and no one said a thing and i was just there i was just this guy i feel like i did that too and looking back on it it's the weirdest shit ever and not to not to be morbid but like this is colorado this is post i believe post columbine and it's like they just let me walk in the school and just hang out like they

shouldn't have done that that was 1999 Columbine Dave oh okay so I guess you were pre okay well Dave's always pre true I that's so weird though yeah dude I was just there I imagine you're a 30 year old woman doing that like I know I I was like 130 pounds. There was no – they knew I was just some little hip squeak. She's a loser. Total loser. And she was there the whole day. Like, okay, go take your video and get out of there. Yeah.

Can you imagine sitting there like all seven periods? Just be like, yo, like after the first one, maybe go to the principal's office and be like, hey, I just sat there an entire class. Like that proves the point enough. Go turn yourself in. Yeah, exactly. Instead she waited to get in trouble and now is getting into actual trouble for it. Do you think she altered her voice? Hi.

Oh, yes. Hello. That's not how kids talk. How do kids talk these days? Hello. I'm Julie. Mrs. Doubtfire? What was the content of the TikToks?

Was she trying to be funny? I think she was hitting the whoa or something. Yeah, she was going to do a busset challenge. No, she wasn't. She might have been planking. That would be sick. Let's bring planking back. What if she did this and just went in the middle of the lunchroom and just T-bowed?

Stop. No one's T-bowing anymore and just went in the middle of the lunchroom and just T-bowed? Stop. No one's T-bowing anymore besides the dude from the worst of the other day. The reason I'm asking, the content of what she was doing would tell the story here. Was she trying to actually do content and gain popularity? Or was she actually trying to expose the school for letting her in? I don't think we're going to get the actual content. I think this is a clout chase under the veil of

something noble. Correct. As it often is. She stinks. She stinks. At least we got to talk about Jojo Sawiya. What's her name? Jojo Siwa. Is she related to Devin?

I don't know. Siwa, sorry. Yeah. Is she related to Devin? I don't know who. I don't know. I'm not sure. Better look that one up. You hear about that party she threw over the weekend, though? Apparently it was pretty sick. Okay. I don't know.

Did the guys survive? Hard to say. Jeez. If you don't know what we're talking about, Nobody knows what we're talking about. JoJo Siwa had a party at her house, and some dude'd there she had a shit dylan wants to make which isn't funny it's not funny but she's a child star so it's like wait what happened yeah you shouldn't yeah it's like what happened yeah huh it's just like really yeah anyway i don't oh my god it was over

od on lsd without Without knowing what actually happened, somebody probably just... It doesn't shock me that someone in a JoJo Siwa party couldn't handle their LSD. That's probably a fair assessment of the situation. Said he was in pretty rough shape. I don't know. My parents didn't throw me that many birthday parties.

That's what it says in the article. So generic. I don't think anyone was ODing at my 16-year- many birthday parties. That's what it says in the article. That's so generic. I don't think anyone's ODing at my 16-year-old birthday party. No. Dude, 16-year-olds don't need to be doing LSD. Most people probably don't need to be doing LSD. I'm not doing LSD, man. I might do it.

If the homie has a 16th birthday bash, I might do LSD there. I don't know. We won't be providing it. Dude, I'm going to show up. It's BYO LSD. I'll be bringing the Delta-8 to your son's 16th birthday batch. I might do LSD there. I don't know. We won't be providing it. Dude, I'm going to show up. It's BYO LSD. I'll be bringing the Delta-8 to your son's 16th birthday party. Delta-8, we accept that. Yeah, that's fine. I mean, you can just smoke real weed at his son's birthday party when he's

16. It's definitely going to be illegal at that point. Different molecules, different waves. Please don't bring weed to my son's 16th birthday party. It'll be illegal by then. Dude, you know I'm always carrying. When did he turn 16? A couple years? How old is he? Well, he's six now.

So a decade. Let me bring drugs to your son's birthday party. I don't think it's that big a deal. Oh, kids growing up too fast, man. Too fast. It happens so fast, guys. It says it's in the San Fernando Valley. It says someone reported that a man around 30 years old...

First of all, what are 30-year-old dudes doing at JoJo Siwa's party? He was infiltrating the party to see how secure he was there. Dude, what's his TikTok? Was he wearing a hoodie with a... Spider-Man on it? Iron Man on it or something? Come on, dude. Sources connected to the party told the outlet, Vanity Fair,

that the man showed up to the party high and in pretty rough shape like dude you're just there and she's got her like jojo's party supplies and there's like probably some cupcakes and stuff maybe some tiff's treats some goated cupcakes oh goat status and this dude just walks in just like seeing shit in the corner of the room. Like save it for the club after JoJo's birthday party. Don't bring LSD to a child's house. I don't know. Sounds kind of lit. You're right.

What if there's like an elephant there or something? It was a pride party too. Okay. There we go. You want to hear what it included at the party? It said here, per Vanity Fair, the over-the-top celebration was shared on Instagram, which featured rainbow-colored everything, a bouncy house, a candy buffet, and the pop star's fully bedazzled piano. All right.

Well, when you put it that way, like maybe I am doing LSD at this party. All you can eat candy, a bouncy house, yeah. LSD probably is getting done at that party. He probably didn't even know it was was a JoJo Siwa's party. He probably just saw that bouncy house and was like, fuck. It's about to be lit. Fuck me up in this thing. I mean, yeah, if you take away the presence of many, many minors,

this is probably where you want to do LSD. Is this party goaded? Yeah. It's like, fuck. This guy's not goaded. Like jet skis in the swimming pool and shit? Hey, you know who else is celebrating pride? Vizzy. I saw their can man they're dude these cans are clean i need i need a pride can they're low key goated cans we need i need i need a shipment of the pride cans yeah i do too busy hard seltzer

created labelless cans to reinforce the beauty of loving our own unique personal identity and living beyond pre-assumed labels the limited edition pack was created in partnership with the human rights campaign and as you guys already knew busy is more than just a hard unique personal identity, and living beyond pre-assumed labels. The limited edition pack was created in partnership with the Human Rights Campaign. And as you guys already knew, Vizzy is more than just a hard seltzer with antioxidant vitamin C. Vizzy celebrates inclusion and has donated $1 million. One million. One million dollars to the Human Rights Campaign over three years to support their fight for LGBTQ plus equality. There are plenty of hard seltzers to choose from,

but with its bold and delicious dual fruit flavors, antioxidant vitamin C, and commitment to equality, Vizzy makes the choice a little easier and a lot tastier. Who do I have to talk to to get these cans? I think we can just talk to our contacts over at Vizzy, or we can just go buy some ourselves. Somebody just get Dylan some cans. He needs some cans.

Get the man his cans. They're mega dope. Dude, you know what I like doing with them after they're done? I like just kind of hauling them out and getting some string and just making like a telephone. Really? Yeah, for me and the boys. That's sick. They're up in the fort and I'm hiding in the bushes.

Oh, that's very tight, see? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, why are they using modern slang? Wow. Wow, this method of communicating is goaded. Yeah. I was waiting for it man This is

So stupid So stupid I'm not trying to flex too hard But yeah I might have had a peach Lemonade yesterday Really? Mm-hmm

Wow And you couldn't even meet up With the boys You couldn't even squat up I was too faded After my peach No I wasn't It was just To have a nice little pop In the afternoon Okay Mm-hmm. Wow, and you couldn't even meet up with the boys? Wow, you couldn't even squat up. I was too faded after my peach. No, I wasn't.

It was just to have a nice little pop in the afternoon. Okay. Shampoo effect. It was great. Mm-hmm. Still don't really get that, but... Let's go to Dave. Stop. Antioxidant vitamin C, as you guys know, is a stretch from superfruit, acerola, cherry.

Just go find it and go try it. Go enjoy it. Get the labelless cans. They're dope. Upgrade your hard seltzer to Vizzy to find out where you can purchase Vizzy's limited edition pride packaging or any of their other refreshing flavors. Go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. That's

VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed to get updates on their latest flavor drops and more. You can also sign up for emails at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribe. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com backslash subscribe. Must be 21 or older. Hey, we got some announcements.

Dude said shampoo effect. Did you guys notice that I skipped the official announcements today? Yeah, but I just figured we didn't have anything major. No, I mean, we actually do have something pretty major. Podcast week? Well, one, yeah, it's podcast week. Is this a major announcement alert? And two, The Bachelorette returns tonight.

Everyone's really excited about it. No one can stand how excited they are to go watch two hours of The Bachelorette tonight. I'm absolutely torqued. It's going to be exciting stuff. If you want to go hear us break down all the guys, we already have a Patreon episode up at patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. We did it on Tuesday with the real Cat Pat. Shout out to Kate Pattenod for hopping on with us. But with The Bachelor

entering the scene, I do have some bad news for the people out there that are Worst Of fans. You guys ready for this? We no longer have Worst Of going on. So you know what I thought I'd do? I thought I'd bring a little Worst Of story to the main feed. Is you shitting me? Are you kidding? Bless the timeline.

What? People are going to love this. And if you don't yet subscribe to this, this is what you're going to be missing, folks. Just a little taste of what you're not catching over on the Patreon feed. Damn, dude. What a fucking sell. That was good. You're like the new Brett.

Sup, stog. Dude, what is... What's A-Town? Oh, no. Did he just pop a viz? Oh, no. He to... Oh, no. Did he just pop a viz? Dude, no. Oh, no, he got some Sour Patch. He didn't pop a viz.

Sour Patch Kids. Respect. Shout out to SBK. But yeah, so if you want to go over and listen to The Bachelorette stuff, we highly recommend you do that. You can do it for as little as $5 a month. But if you're a Worst Of fan, boy, do I have a story for you. You guys ready for this?

I call this one To The Choppa. Really? The Choppa was singing call this one To the Choppa. Really? The Choppa was singing in this one. Oh, really? Hey, boys, we'll try to keep it short including only key details.

There's a much longer version that involves a curse we joke about between me and two other friends. Maybe for another submission. I don't know if we're going to do the same submission twice, but like, okay.

Maybe for spooky. Oh, spooky at washtemedia.com that was that is it that's kind of sick that's pretty sinister laugh i'm pretty good at promoing stuff oh yeah it's kind of my thing he says so it's memorial day weekend 2014 we just had a memorial day weekend oh so this was about seven years ago yeah sounds like just about yeah yeah just about seven dave he had just finished his freshman year of college

and was back home in New Jersey. My buddy from high school has a beach house in Seaside. Yes, the same Seaside from Jersey Shore. And his parents weren't home, so it was party time. Excellent.

Jim Tan Laundry, man. Ron, where's the Vizzy? Ron! See, I'm doing the, you beat the beat up. That's what they do, like they're punching air. That reunion looks so sad and I'll probably watch it.

I won't. Oh, my God. Snooki foul. Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron, you got canceled, right? Gabs are here.

He's not involved anymore. Is that right? I don't know. Ron got canceled? I think Ron has a lot of bags. Is that facts or not? I don't know. Ron seems like a shitty dude overall.

Yeah. I'll say that. He says, I was on a bit of a delay because I had a gig selling concessions at a baseball tournament, but I made around $200 cash at the tourney, got a nice rack of light beer using my new fake ID, and rolled to the party like a king. Get that paper, player. I love this guy's grind status right now. Yeah, that's a grind mentality.

Dave wouldn't get it. I could probably take the night off and go to this party, but no, I got to go make my money. Dave can't relate, man. Never grinded a day in his life. I purposely can't relate so that down the road I can relate and have to work for it. Hustle mindset. I'm not sure I understand it.

Something you don't even get right now, dude. Dude, that's the hustle mindset. I don't know what his level is to this, Dylan. He said, when I finally arrive, the squad has encouraged me to catch up with them. I'm pounding drinks left and right. Shotgun, yes. Beer bong, yes. Shots of tequila? Yes. It's havoc, but I'm

here for it. Damn. He's here for it. He said, I'm not sure if I ate a full meal that day and I'm already probably super dehydrated from sitting in the sun all day. I will say, as someone who did not eat a full meal until my sizzling fajitas the other day, you don't want that hangover the next day after doing that. That's just not my stuff.

I think my worst nights have all been because I didn't eat enough. You gotta eat more, man. You gotta get that tum-tum filled, man. Food. I know. I gotta stay trim. Thank you for clarifying.

I gotta stay trim for the... Ladies. Yeah. For your bae. I was gonna say the boys, but... The boys too, man. I worry more about what you guys think. The boys are noticing.

She's legally obligated to like me at this point. You guys aren't. Dave's little whiskey girl, that is. Yeah. Should she be your little busy girl instead? I enjoyed that. He said around midnight, the crew of five of us rode beach bikes down to the boardwalk to hit a teen club. Okay.

That sounds kind of sick. 18 and up, I'm guessing. It's just a bad way to phrase it. Did you guys have teen clubs? Yeah, Cowboys. It was called Cowboys. It was a honky-tonk, but they turned it into all of the above. Was there a badonkadonk there?

That song was probably played many times. I'm not sure we had one here. If there was one, I was just not aware of it, so I don't know. Randy, did you have teen clubs in Indiana? He nods and said yes. We didn't have teen clubs. That just means 18 and up. We did have Streeter's Nightclub, which could be 18 and up.

I think they had like teen night. But it was like an hour and a half away. That just means they put like a big M on your hand for minor and they do serve alcohol there? Or is it a type of club that doesn't serve alcohol at all? So this one's different. So he says, funny you asked that. He said, this club also has a 21 and up section, and I'm feeling good about this fake ID and cash,

so I head over to that section to catch up even more. It's at that time that all the alcohol consumed over the last two hours caught up to me. I get kicked out of the bar a couple of times before regrouping with the squad to head home. I like that he got kicked out numerous times. You don't want to get kicked out of the teen club at all, let alone numerous times. No. I actually tried to infiltrate the teen club as a 30-year to show that they have shitty security that's funny it was sick man what'd you wear a a fucking marvel sweatshirt went to pax on and got some vans had thor on it

that was sick my beard threw everybody off hey dude you're clearly in in your 30s. I forgot to take my wedding ring off. Sir, I don't know what you plan on doing with those chinos, but you need to get out of here. Yeah. Sir? They could tell how starched my chinos were just ready. Oh, my God. Stop. He said, the last thing I remember is hopping on the bikes to head back.

Advice, don't do this. Have you guys ever ridden a bike drunk? Yeah, I think in Ponte Vedra when we were all there. We got a little twisted. That was a fun bike ride. Not the one that you took us on, but the one we were just farting around. Oh, not the four mile one that we pre-gamed a tournament with? It was truly a terrible bike ride.

I love showing up to meet the people that we're working with at the PGA Tour and just having back sweat. Just drenched. Sopping. My quad is just burning. I almost bought an entire new outfit at the PGA Superstore they had set up. Shouts to the employee discount in Michelle, though. Oh, we saw Cooch in there, remember?

Yeah, what was he doing? Cooch was winning the buy merch. That was back when Cooch was cool. Like, not cool, but like, he didn't have the stigma you had now. I feel like someone could have just got, like, from the tour, could have just gone and gotten Cooch whatever he needed. Yeah, but you gotta feel the material of all the pullovers and stuff that's fair he's a tall lad all-time tan i could take him though yeah i don't think he's wow you could beat up matt coocher congratulations

dude yeah there's one guy on tour you don't want to mess with it's everyone says that guy with the most fucking you should fight him at the next Rough and Rowdy Gentleman. The next memory is waking... They take bikes back, and his next memory is waking up in the hospital, unable to move or speak. Oh, no. I'm in and out of consciousness listening to my dad describe what happened over the phone to someone. He said, Taylor was riding a bike and fell six feet down onto his face

onto the pavement. He needed nose reconstruction surgery, has a broken cheekbone, lots of facial scarring, a severed tongue, and is missing his front tooth. Oh, no. I can't talk because my tongue is swollen to the size of my mouth, and I can't move because they need to stabilize my back and neck because they weren't sure if I suffered nerve damage. Picture attached.

I don't want to see it. We're not going to show the pictures because, as everyone knows, when you send in a Worst Stuff story to worststuffatwashmedia.com, it's always anonymous. So Taylor's not his real nerve. I don't have the stomach for that. I can't. How bad is it, the photo?

The tongue is the tongue for me. Yeah, it usually is. I don't want to put it this way. I don't want to sound too assertive here. These are the worst photos that we've ever received. I would rather not see them. Okay, then I don't know why I want to see it. I don't want to.

Let me get a quick one. I don't have it up right now, but maybe we can see it after the episode. It'll tank my mood. More than Dylan already has? I'll get queasy, man. So this guy did have some luck, though. It sounds like he was pretty down bad, but he could have been down much worse had this not been the case. He said, here's the silver lining.

One of my buddies with me was an EMT and literally trained for moments like this. He stabilized me and called 911. I found out that I was escorted to the hospital not by ambulance, but by helicopter. That's really cheap, though. Yeah. When that bill comes in, it's like, oh, thank God it was a helicopter. $40,000, basically. The helicopters in Mexico, as we have learned, are very expensive.

I don't think it's any less expensive here, Dave. Really? Yeah. Oh, Mexico. We down here. You need a helicopter. I can see Dylan being into that. That's not how that song goes.

I mean, but he wrote a different verse that just isn't on the track. Get to the chopper. To the chopper. Imagine fucking up your face so bad you have to get airlifted. Wait, so he fell six feet. Did he fall off of like a little like ledge? I don't know. Did these bikes have pegs on them?

Like were they trying to go on some rails? He said his front tooth popped cleanly from my gums and was found lodged in my throat. Oh, my gosh. I'm getting, like, sick. I also found out that I was not entered into the system under my name, but under my cousin's name from the fake ID. Oh, that's cool. Shouts to Tom. Tom got a bill for 40 grand.

Yeah, Tom's like, are you fucking serious? He said somehow I suffered no concussion nor neck or spine injury. Everything was purely cosmetic. I still have some scars and a new tooth implant. But all in all, you'd never suspect this ever happened to me. That being said, it was definitely a dark time and unequivocally the worst weekend I've ever had. Don't drink and bike, especially at the Jersey Shore. That's a woated weekend.

How is he not? Worst of all time. Dude, that's woated. Yeah. How is he not concussed? all time. Dude, that's loaded. Yeah. How is he not concussed? I don't know. So he didn't get knocked unconscious, I assume. He said he was in and out of consciousness, but that might be because of the alcohol and the general pain.

I think he got a concussion. I mean, yeah, I hate to go against what the doctors diagnosed him with. Oh, so you're a doctor all of a sudden, Dave? No, but I am a podcast host, and I do opine from time to time on matters that are outside my jurisdiction. Wow. And that being said, this guy was concussed. Who had a worst weekend? This guy having his entire face get fucked up or the naked woman from Outback Steakhouse in Florida?

She has to live with what she did for the rest of her life. This guy is like – it's a cool story to tell. If you guys haven't seen this – Did he give us the tell if you guys haven't seen did he give us the bill sorry no that's i'm curious like what that what that runs you cosmetic surgery helicopters and the like apparently on tuesday in florida a woman who has uh no clothes on nude infiltrated a ociltrated a Ocala, Florida. Is that where it is? I believe it's Ocala. Ocala, Florida. I could be wrong, though.

Outback Steakhouse. And she decided to stand on the bar and just start promptly just throwing fits of things into the bar, just shattering them on the floor. No rules here. Was she on drugs? I don't know, but based on how efficiently she's moving, she has to be. Did she do one CBD? This is, I mean, yeah, she did the one with the trace amounts of THC in it.

She was 53? Yeah. Tina. Eh, mugshot. The mugshot tells a little bit different story, not to be rude, but also kind of to be rude. Yeah, let me just say, when you're an officer, you have to deal with a lot. But you never want to walk up in a scene that looks like it's from Reno 911. Because that's exactly what this is.

It's the close-off for me. Why get naked? Yeah, because it makes everything so much more dangerous. Because you go from being an angry person to a crazy and angry person at the same time. When you're naked, so many other things are in play. Yeah. Why is there no one in this outback? Because there's a naked woman throwing things.

Fucking Tasmanian devil. Would you finish your Bloomin' Onion in there? There's a lot of things that I wouldn't do, and one of them is what the cops did, and they tasered her and put her to the ground. It's probably the protocol, though. She was throwing stuff at the officer. Oh, that's true. She was approaching the officer, and he was like, you know, she was ignoring his commands.

To be honest, if you're the officer, you're like, you know what? We could do something, but I know there's cameras being here. There's obviously cameras on the situation. I could probably try to tackle her. She's going to bite you. She's got bite vibes. Or he's just like, you know, or I could just do what I'm supposed to do, and I'm just going to taser, tackle her and, like, you know. She's going to bite you. Yeah. She's got bite vibes. Or he's just like, you know, or I could just do what I'm supposed to do and I'm just going to taser her. Yeah, as much.

Take her in nicely. This is like bath salt stuff, right? Yeah. I've never been a fan of those in my own bath, but I hear they make people go loco. I also don't understand why they're called bath salts and what that has to do with taking a bath. She did this on a Tuesday. Because you don't even bathe. You're right.

I shower like a normal human being. Showers are goating. If you did a bunch of bath salts and you were losing your mind and you decided to go ruin a restaurant, what restaurant are you going to? Are you going to Outback? I know where I'm not going. That's Outback. You never know. You never know here.

I feel like there's no rules there. They always say no rules. I know where I'm going. I'm going to Panera Bread and throwing that food just in the garbage. Ooh. No one should be in a Panera Bread ever. There's no reason to I'm going to Panera Bread and throwing that food just in the garbage. Ooh. No one should be in a Panera Bread, ever. There's no reason to ever go inside a Panera Bread. You think about it.

Pee? What do you get to pee in New York City? Maybe to pee? You know, the Panera Breads in New York City hit different. It's because of the water. I might go to Schlotzky's. You don't want to fuck up a sub though and just find like

a tray full of sandwiches and just flip that tray I love that that recurring joke is something that no one understands except for us but I still get a laugh

out of it we're the only ones it's just us they're like why do they always talk about Schlotzky's do you think when you start like

when you pull into Outback and you just start taking the clothes off does the whatever the instrument is that does this. A lightsaber? A vuvuzela? The desert, the Australia soundtrack that accompanies everything. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does that just start playing as she just, like, stands up and announces her presence? Is it a vuvuzela? Is that even an instrument? Vuvuzela. Right. That's the one that the an instrument? Vuvuzela. Right. That's the one that the soccer games that caused a big fuss. Randy is shaking his head so dismayed right now.

What is it, Randy, if you're so smart, smarty man? Oh, it's a didgeridoo. I should have gotten that. I didn't. Yeah, that's what it is. What is that? It's like a long piece of wood. Is it the Ricola thing?

My buddy had one in high school. Sick. Maybe. Ricola thing? My buddy had one in high school. Sick. Ricola. Did you hear she yelled at the cop? Go to. Before they tased her? Don't tase me, bro. What'd she yell, Doug?

I thought there were no rules here. Just write. Oh, come on. Come on. I'll tell you this. She didn't do that. Her onion was not blooming. Okay. Maybe it was blooming a little too much. That blossom was not awesome. That's a different restaurant.

Which one is that? Is that Chili's? Yeah. What a silly question. You've been asking a lot of silly questions today, and I'm not here for it. What if she gave an awful waffle to one of the bart don't I feel like there's 15 people who know that do you think the bartender at this outback has made more martinis than the bartender at Chili's I love that Will's drink order Will's drink order at Chili's caused a bartender to approach our table

no but like in like dude he was so nice about it. What are y'all ordered this? Dude, I thought he was going to beat me up. I've told that story. You don't come into this restaurant and order a martini. I've told that story several times since it happened. That's a guy you hire, like, no matter what. Like, just for a position he's not qualified for because he's got hustler mentality. He just wanted to make sure he made it right. He's like, dude, hey, never made one before.

No, I totally appreciated the move. I just thought it was hilarious. It was. I've never made one of those here. There's no way I could be the first person to ever get a martini there, right? He makes rum and cokes and he fills like, he does like...

Draft beers. Yeah, that's what he serves. Captain Morgan. I only did it for the bit. I did it for one bit and then I switched to beers. It was hilarious, man. Then I went to IPAs. He said, dude, I've never poured an IPA, man. How was my pour? They didn't have any sour beers on tap, so I was like, ah.

Dillon's over here ordering electric jellyfish. You just can't stop drinking those. I think I just got beer, David. Okay. I mean, electric jellyfish is objectively a beer. I know, but just a beer. No beer is just right. Normally, I'm a frequent critic of force, excessive force from the police.

I'm going back and forth on this tasing. Yeah, I am too. I think it was protocol. She was ignoring his commands and she was stepping toward him. The more I think about it, the more I think she definitely deserved to get tased. I think I agree. She had previously was stepping toward him. The more I think about it, the more I think she definitely deserved to get to this. I think I agree. She had previously thrown stuff at him. This happened on a Tuesday, and as you can see in the video, it is daylight outside.

So a Tuesday afternoon. That's a major red flag. You do not want to be stripped naked on top of a bar when the sun's still out. No. Much like how I won't drink scotch when the sun's out. Kids are at fifth grade recess on Tuesday afternoon. I've only been naked in an Outback once, and the sun was definitely down. Right.

Yeah. And we were grooving. We were feeling all right as well. Right, right. Yeah, you get that. You guys ready for a little Will's Breaking News? Ooh, you're not Brett, but I'll take it. Nah, Brett's not here.

You're no Brett. Brett's doing other stuff today. I know Brett, and you're no Brett. Dude's playing golf, man. Must be nice, dude. Tough Monday for the B-Man. Dude, Brett's not here. You're no Brett. Brett's doing other stuff today. I know Brett, and you're no Brett. Dude's playing golf, man. Must be nice, dude. Tough Monday for the B-man. Dude, I didn't realize that over the weekend, did he get goat status? Did I miss something?

His Monday's pretty goated, honestly. Jeez, man. Dude, why is Bezos going to space? I don't know, man. I knew that Bezos was going to up his game when it came to doing dope shit when he retired. Or not retired. When he decided to take a step back from Amazon. I didn't think he was going to up his game when it came to like doing dope shit when he retired or not retired when he decided to take a step back from Amazon I don't think he was going to go to space

as quickly man I'm pretty risk averse these days like I just don't I don't like to risk stuff okay but being a dad and all yeah uh being an uncle as well I'm just not going to space man as an uncle I'm not going I'm never going to space I asked Sally recently this was before Bezos decided he was going to space. He's literally going July 20th. That's a lot sooner. I thought this was like a five-year plan or something. No, no. July 20th.

That's two weeks after he is set to resign as the CEO of Amazon. So he's still the CEO. Dude, that's going to do him. Dude, what are the odds? That's the day before my birthday. What are the freaking odds? Wow, dude. Wow.

You could have been going to space. Do you think if you hit him up, do you think he would take you up there with him i've ordered stuff from amazon dave's gonna be 37 old ass you're old yeah they're killing me man says bezos's younger brother mark will join him oh we're Mark. Wait, Mark's going to space? Did you add that in there? No, I swear, dude. Mark Mason? Mark's going to space. They did have a public auction for another seat. I think it might have been out of Dave's.

You probably shouldn't have spent so much on Amazon in order to try to get on this because it went for $2.8 million. That seems cheap for space. I don't know. Are there that many? I do agree with you. It seems a little cheap because don't know like are there that many i do agree with you it seems a little cheap because i don't think there's that many ways to get into space at this point would you guys go to space so if i was if i was his age right now would you go no i got no i'm an uncle i i asked sally this in the last like couple months i think she might have still

been pregnant i think i said hey if i had the opportunity to go to space, would you want me to go? How high were you? And she said, absolutely not. Yeah. And I was like, dude, I think I would still go. But dude, it gives you a new perspective. Would you do LSD in space if JoJo Siwa won the auction to get the seat next year? Think of it this way.

I'd rather do LSD at JoJo's birthday party than in space. Think of it this way. When you fly, you're like almost there. You're almost in space. True. You're closer than you were. It's really not that close. It is closer, though.

Is it not closer? Sure, sure, yeah. I don't know, man. I mean, you just see these videos of things exploding. I've seen those videos. That's your recommended tab. Dude, they go so fast, man. What do you do for your space fit?

I don't think you get to pick. I think they put you in a suit. No, no. I think you got to get a fit on. You get to customize it, though. You get to put, like, a custom skin on it. I don't think I can hit them with my Reebok Classics up there. I'm putting Supreme on mine.

Are you? Yeah, then I'm going to go to my middle schooler's class and impersonate them. How many likes does your Fitbit before going to space get? It might be the last likes you ever get. Damn. That's true. When do you post, though? Can you post from space?

Do the satellites work? Can you go live from space? Do they have Wi-Fi in space? I don't think they do, man. What's your Wi-Fi password? Take me to your router. That's so stupid. Randy can't get the 4X up there.

He can only get the normal amount of Wi-Fi that we get. What happens if Bezos dies? That's big news. Who gets that money, dog? He sees Elon doing all this shit. He's like, no, fuck this. I got to one-up Elon. I'll say this.

I don't think either of these guys have great histories with their employees of their megacorporations, labor movements and whatnot. But I will say this about Bezos. He, to my knowledge, has not totally fucked up Bitcoin for a lot of people. True. Point. True.

So you're saying you'd rather have Elon get blown up in space at this point than Jeff Bezos? I'm not saying that. I would never. But I am saying I will reserve the right to call him Jeff Bezos if he would keep his trap shut. Jeff Bezos has legs. Yeah, no, he does. He's a bipedal creature.

Wow. Do you know his last name means kisses? Bezos. Bezos. Would you kiss Jeff Bezos before taking off if you were going to space with him? Give me a couple little Bezos. Okay, would you kiss Jeff Bezos

if you meant a free trip to space? Yes, 100%. Would you spacewalk? Would you space kiss him? How do you spacewalk? Is that like seawalking? You leave the vessel and tether yourself to it and you just float out if i had the option to spacewalk yeah fuck that dude why you're gonna you're terrifying that dude if i'm already in space i may as well walk around yeah like are you would you get afraid of heights in that situation because you're not like there's nothing that's like relative it's like earth

that's a big height but are you afraid of that height i situation? Because you're not like, there's nothing that's like relative. It's like Earth. That's a big height. But are you afraid of that height? I just don't trust like engineering and stuff. Dude, I just want to chill with Bay and watch like the moon. You don't trust STEM? Or watch the Earth rise, you know? You want to chill with Bay? I want to watch the Earth rise.

You want to chill with my girlfriend in space? Whoa. Oh. You want to space and chill? Dude, what if you find out? What if you went on Instagram and you checked my story and Bay and I were just in space watching the Earth rise? Hey, hey, hey. What happened here?

Get back here. Is there any way to reach them? Is this why you're not texting me back? I wasn't spacewalking. Hey, would you, when you re-entered the atmosphere, you're back on Earth, do you look over at Bezos and go, hey, welcome to Earth? You don't have to punch him. Yeah, I'm not going to punch Jeff Bezos. Well, maybe he is.

He didn't just take me to space. I'd be like, dude, that was sick. Thank you. Hey, Jeff, thank you, man. That was so fucking dope. You just go, dude, man. Hey, man, thanks again for the space trip. That was a goated trip.

Hey, man, next time I see you, man, beer's on me. But, like, once you're up there and you look down at Earth and it's like, oh, this is tight, now it's all about just getting back safely. Now I'll just be too scared to enjoy the moment, I think. We need you to go to space with Bay so we can establish Space Beers. Space Beers. Space Beers has legs. We need to get you just an Instagram story and it's just a beer sitting on a moon rock.

I'd rather be drinking space beers. Just like space beers. We could make some shirts. Are space heaters actually from space? Yeah, that's where they get them. Aliens make them. It seems really inefficient. Is that a thing?

It just seems inefficient based on the fact that they only really heat one room. To have a space heater in space, they just call them heaters up there. Why do we outsource those from other planets? You ask an alien for a heater and he gives you a space heater? Oh, man.

A space heater. Get it? Yeah, I know I get it. The sun heats space. No, that's not true. The radiation. This is the sun? There's no atmosphere up there.

It heats space. It's, like, cold as fuck, dude. Then what's the sun doing just floating around out there just being cold and shit? Dude, do you remember, like, when you were a little kid, all the little kid shows have the sun with, like, a smiley face and, like, maybe some shades? But, like, real talk, it's a terrifying place. Yeah, I mean, like, and at some point it's going to implode. It's electrifying. It gives people cancer and stuff, too. It's, like, and at some point it's going to implode. It's electrifying. Gives people cancer and stuff, too.

It's like, it's not that nice. The sun's actually pretty fucked up other than the heat and warmth it provides us. It does provide us a lot, though. It does provide us life on Earth. Energy. But at the same time, like, if you come at the sun sideways, he will come correct. It's the yin and the yang. You know, Earth's kind of crazy like that.

The duality of sun. Yeah. Dude, Earth do be crazy sometimes. Yeah, the sun is kind of goated, though. Oh, the sun is the goat. Is our sun the goat star? Of course. Name another star that does what our sun does, man.

The North Star is punching air right now. It's just like, dude, how do I not get credit? He does one time, dog. Dude, they're still salty. Yeah, give me a Titan once. Oh, you tell me which way is north. Okay. They're still salty.

They moved it down. Sweet. I have an iPhone now. Dumbass. How pissed was a North Star when they started developing compasses? It was like, dude, stop. My one job. Stop, dude.

We're taking our jerbs. Enough. Yeah. We're taking our jerbs, dude. Is there a South Star? Nah, dude. Nah. Why?

There's Black Star. Shout out talib quali and most def yeah obviously i met them in chicago they signed my black star cd well you don't have to throw every time you speak that was like four deuces in a minute yeah dude's crazy over here jeez i didn't even have matt's own rancho last night and I still had four deuces in a minute. This dude's going wild right now. Dude, there was a moment when I was going down West Bank, and I was like, oh, I definitely had Matt's for dinner. Might be a problem here.

Let me catch a light. Give me a break. Come on. Come on now. You're tum-tum, man. Did you give him the Shawnee Paul? Give me the light? My tummy's good.

It sometimes just hits you. How's it built? Maybe it's because I didn't order a salad. I had so much queso, though, man. Was it sad? The original was sad. Hey, we gotta shout out Adam, man. I was gonna do that in notes after.

Shout out Adam. We gotta get out of here. Adam bought our dinner. Okay, Adam, a very nice backer who lives here in Austin, was very kind, walked up to us as we were waiting for the bill. He goes, by the way, I already paid for your dinner. We didn't have a chance to, like, fight him on it. He's just like, I bought it for you. I wasn't going to fight him.

We got a pickoff. What a guy. If he posted that pick, I didn't get tagged yet. So, at DCRuff if you're listening, Adam. Yeah, thanks, Adam. At DCarterRuff on Twitter, Snap, and the talk. Trying to get that clout, Adam yeah thanks Adam at D Carter rough on Twitter snap and the talk trying to get that cloud Adam thank you David rough on LinkedIn if I have his first name wrong I'm gonna feel absolutely terrible he can Venmo me he can hit me on the Venmo since I was one at the dinner just Venmo me and figure out what I would I was gonna get

this tacos El Carbone what a guy yeah just holler at me sometime. Thank you, Adam. I'm going to order subs for The Office after this podcast, guys. Subs for The Office! Don't do anything.