Circling Back - Headlines & The Masculine Urge

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

The masculine urge to record a podcast took over today where we found ourselves doing two (2) new segments — HEADLINES ft. Rihanna’s pregnancy and Masculine Urges. We also dabbled in the royal son cucking of 2022 and our Weekends in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:01) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (32:57) HEADLINES: Rihanna’s Pregnant (47:45) Prince Frederic Prinz Von Anhalt did WHAT? (1:03:26) Masculine Urges Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (download the app and use WASHED) Grammarly: www.grammary.com/steam (20% off Premium!) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast coming to you live from the Lodge, presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfood acerola. My name's Will DeFries to my left. David Carter-Ruff. Who neutered our speakers? I was expecting something a little bit more bumping.

I felt like, did you see that look I gave the speaker? I was a little upset because I was ready to bob my head. You were mad dogging it. I was mad dogging it. Hey, this rain we're getting, I know it's an inconvenience, but we needed it. Without a doubt. It's been a dry winter here in the Texas Hill Country. Tell you what.

Yeah, we did. Straight up pissed on. Yeah. We got pissed on. And that concludes my introduction. Thanks. Man, the masculine urge to get a tinky off right before we record. Wow. A little tinky time.

You know how that goes. Like an early bird one? No, not a tincture. Like a bathroom, a potty break. Oh. Masculine urge to go potty. Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

That makes more sense. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Apologies, Dave. the speakers weren't booming loud for you this morning not your fault it's not right it's nobody's fault i i just i don't know it didn't it threw me off a little bit i like to nod my head a little bit my favorite thing about this rain we got is that it makes corn interstellar corn corn makes makes whiskey. And then, well, you know the rest.

Why don't you finish it for us? Makes Bay a little bit frisky. Whiskey does. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Dave, I see you're drinking a liquid death. Start over. You don't have any brown water in front of you.

Is everything okay? You saw me sipping that Sk skeedly bee when i came in i drank i've got to stop i'm going to save this for a later segment but i've got to stop pounding coffee right before we record why i think you know why oh because it makes you go potty a number of times actually yeah yeah but it was great i hit you guys at the group in the group text do you guys understand like when i say i'm going to get some skeetily b that means you can tell me that you want me to pick you up some it's implied i don't know if well i i appreciate that i already had a nice cup of nitro cobalamo sitting in front of me as you sent that text so i didn't i didn't need any i just i i didn't know if we're i want us to all be on the same page that i'm not gonna i'm no longer gonna be like

hey can i get y'all anything if i tell you i'm getting coffee feel free to just hit me with a like a request i'll pick you up something as nitro is the only way i enjoy michael blamo i went nitro i did i'm just still not on my cold brew shit are you still doing one a day i had two this morning dude why'd you have to call me out you didn't have to expose me like that i didn't know i had two this morning i'm not happy about it i have known that it's just like one cup of coffee the time that it takes to to drink one single coblamo is too short i want i want more time of of sipping my colamo every morning blow the whistle now i'm at the point where i think i might have to get some some decaf skiddly d

i'm not happy about it but like i enjoy drinking coffee so much but i get so jittery in the afternoon if i have too much in the morning so i think i think i'm gonna have to do a regular kablamskis and then go straight into the skiddly decaf right after tell me this do you do an eight ounce cup or is it like you fill the mug up and that's your cup it's 7.4 ounces david okay that's pretty standard some mugs are bigger and some people think they're doing a cup but they're really doing like 18 ounces or something crazy. No, no. I'm doing a single serving cup of coffee every single morning. Okay. Plus some Skiddly Decaf shortly thereafter.

I'm at my best when I go double barrels on them, just two cups. You hit them with that Elmer Fudd? Two cups of the Blamo. Yeah. That's right. That Elmer Fudd. You know he had the double barrel shotty i do know that yeah he stayed strapped he kept that thing on he sure did you didn't want to fuck with that's why they call me elmer how did

that character age probably not great i'm trying to remember he really had it in for the rabbit it feels like he was a pretty like a single bit character he was hunting wabbits has he gotten canceled yet for what i don't know carrying that thing on him i just googled elmer fudd and the fourth photo that showed up on google was him wearing a maga hat okay is that real yeah oh wow you're not kidding yeah it's right there i feel like that was not in the original cartoon no that's probably shopped and you got to think well like real talk like elmer fudd would have definitely voted for trump right i don't know we don't know that i think it would have could be a blue dog damn i just don't

get progressive pro second amendment i don't get progressive vibes from from elmer i get i get uh can't vote vibes no i get sovereign citizen vibes from elmer fudd elmer can vote for whoever he wants to vote for i i'm not, I'm not, that's not a critique from me. That's just saying if, if he was going to wear some garb from a potential, you know, 2020 candidate right now, the MAGA hat fits him pretty well. You're in, you've got, you got to put money on one guy or the other. It's a duel, a duel. Yosemite Sam or Elmer Fudd. Ten paces, turn around, make your move, cowboy. Who you got?

It's Yosemite, dog. That double barrel, the blast radius on it. The spray. He's not quick with that thing, though. Yosemite's got two six-shooters, right? In theory, yeah. Quick with those things, man. Quick drop.

You got hit, though though i don't know i don't i don't know enough about the accuracy behind yosemite sam yeah yeah wasn't he always missing wasn't that kind of his thing i don't know hard to say i don't remember because you got to think if he was any kind of accurate it would end the cartoon pretty quickly so much shooting back in the day. Yeah. Violence. It just seems inappropriate. I have some reviews. Oh, boy. Are they nice?

What are you reviewing? I'm not reviewing anything, David. Thank you for asking, though, for clarification purposes for the listeners out there. Currently, I'm going to go through a couple of reviews

that we have received for this very podcast. I like to do this on Mondays. Maybe it kind of puts a little, I don't know, a little jump in your step to go give us a review yourself out there if you're listening right now. Yeah. Are you ready for this, Dylan? I don't know if you're ready for this one. I'm usually not.

This is from Lindsayann25. Is this backhanded? It says, home of the brave. Oh. It says, I'm a veteran of the war in Iraq, and I've never known anyone as courageous and brave as Dylan Chivry in the aftermath of an undesirable haircut. Five stars. Wow. Thank you.

Turn around. Let's give it a check. I do appreciate it. Yeah. How are we doing today? Tell me. How are we doing today? I haven't seen it in days.

Wow. It looks completely normal. Still looks totally, totally normal. Totally fine. We've got better than a... He dodged a bullet. Dean Arwald said better than a root canal. Dentists may have

let me have y'all on during the procedure, so y'all are better than a tooth drill. That's big. EKC68483 said, Clark, shout out to Dave for helping me fix my posture. Hey, thanks for the reminder. Yeah, that's actually a good call.

I'm a little sore today. From what? We'll get to that. Spicy Fajitas reviewed us on Thursday. They said getting railed. Okay. If you're a CPAP wearer, Eagle Scout, or a man in STEM like me, you'll love this podcast. I could see you having a CPAP machine.

I wasn't too kind to scouts i don't think i just kind of made fun of them a little bit no but i saw some feedback regarding that segment about eagle scouts they they even admitted that as far as the outfits go the fits weren't the most desirable thing in the world they need a they need a heat check they need they need more tactical gear instead of neckerchiefs if you're an eagle scout they need to they need to go modern maybe some urban camo that would be tight maybe maybe just a shooting shirt like a nice shooting shirt that has a little you know the built-in pad should we just start our own like group of like boy scouts where we just have them get like dope fits off man scouts i feel like that's a bad look they can just wear

like arcteryx and shit the masculine urge to change the the boy scouts do you wear a c-pap dylan no i don't wear a c-pap just making sure no offense to those who do you see the way that you answered that question sounded like you think differently i get why i think you pose a question to me to be a little bit insulting and make fun of the c-pap will's being will's a little confused they call me the c poppy dude don't even useful to people it's because you spoke at c-pack so i can see where the disconnect is didn't you did a ted talk i didn't i don't like to speak in front of people do you know what you do i just thought of a new segment for spooky season dead talk the dead talk we've done that haven't we have we done

that i don't know we've done it i don't remember just imagining dave like dressed as joker up at a ted talk yeah that's good i don't remember any of the things we do sometimes like clips randy randy has the most super fan memory of anybody randy can remember touching base niche bits that i don't even remember us ever doing. It's very impressive. Not me. I don't remember a segment,

a clip from two weeks ago. Yeah, we do. We do a lot of content. We do thousands of episodes, man. I don't know. I can't remember shit. Are we in the thousands yet? Yeah, we got to be in the thousands, right?

Are you kidding? Probably like a million, dude. Maybe. I don't don't know about that speaking of episodes we're doing another episode tomorrow on patreon patreon.com slash circling back podcast we're doing worst of tomorrow no no real uh theme for this week other than if you do have some bad first date stories in anticipation for valentine's day i kind of want to hear those that's a good idea one thing we've never done is like really bad first dates i've got a couple in the hopper that kind of qualify, but I feel like there's got to be people out there listening and I'll be like, oh, yeah, that time I went out with Tad

and he blacked out at the date and puked all over my table. Like I want to hear about your Tad dates. That's so Tad. So Tad. I saw a viral tweet the other day. You guys hear about these tweets that go viral? And it was someone like posed a question like, me about your your worst date or like something funny that happened on a date or whatever that made it bad and uh this guy was like yeah i got up to use the restroom and she stuck her leg out and tripped me i saw this i

saw that pretty funny like you get a second date out of me if if you're doing if you're pulling stunts like that that's just fun fun. You should not trip people. No, she does that. Tripping's funny, man. If she tries to put any salt on her food later, that top is coming off. You know what's funnier than a trip, though, is a tabletop. I'm going to tabletop one of you guys very soon. If you tabletop me.

I will tabletop you. Do not. You're not going to get hurt. No one's ever gotten hurt from tabletopping. You put your hands back. That is recipe for a broken wrist. No one's ever gotten hurt from a tabletop. No, that is recipe for a broken wrist no one's ever gotten hurt if you do it in sand it's one thing sand tabletop is completely fine if you tabletop me on concrete or even tile i'll get you on carpet i'm gonna beat the living piss i'll get you on carpet it'll be fun for everybody including you don't be a

bitch about getting tabletop we're gonna record it if you fail on the tabletop though i get two licks is there a tiktok tabletop trend if not we shouldn't be about to start one we're not shit's funny man two licks if i all right yeah but okay all right good settled i don't i don't care i'm done i'm over it i I care? You can email worstof at washedmedia.com or you can head over washedmedia.com. Click on the Worst Of logo and fill out the anonymous form on there. Also, voicemails on Thursday that should be on Friday, but they get released on Thursdays.

888-618-4422. Again, 888-618-4422. Anonymous forums. Dylan shut those down a while ago. He did. What's your problem dude that you know someone had to do it that was big of you that was the day you became president yeah sometimes it takes a real man to do the dirty work and i had to do it i think the masculine urge to shut down the forums he's really proud of that one yeah the guy who couldn't come up with

him before the pod he's had like like four since we hit the record button. I can't think of any masculine urges. Shut up. Torpedoing the future segment. Yeah. It's time to recap this weekend of fun presented by Liquid IV. Cucking the sex. In the intros.

I have a New Year's resolution that I've been trying to put into play lately, and I think I've been doing a decent job of it, but I have a little help. I'm trying to drink more water and become more hydrated this year. I bought a new water bottle. That's my new hydration water bottle. And even with that new water bottle,

the excitement wore off after about a day and I still wasn't getting as hydrated as I needed. The masculine urge to stay hydrated. But then I got an absolute gem of a package in the mail. And yes, I'm talking about the new grape flavored liquid IV. Oh. I have been sucking that stuff down. How good discord drape grape i believe it's concord drake concord discord discord drake yeah what's wrong with i don't know i'm i'm fucking toast

the new year's here and there's no better way to kick off 2022 than by making sure you feel like your best self one goal i have for me like i just said it's just getting that hydration level up you do look very very flush with water thank you one stick liquid iv in 16 ounces of water hydrates faster more efficiently than water alone it has incredible flavors like watermelon lemon lime strawberry pina colada and that great flavor do be hidden it's a great mixer too i don't know what you want to mix it with but it works works. You could do a DKR. You could do a DKR with that grate. You could do a Dukie R. I don't care. You could too.

Damn. Imagine. DCR. It's not a DCR. You can't just take everything. Name it after yourself. What are you doing? I didn't name it.

Dave, can you show us what makes liquid IV so effective? You know I'm talking about the cellular transport technology. Yeah, how does it go? Oh, it hits them with a skiddly bop. As Dave just showed you, it's designed to enhance rapid absorption of water and other key ingredients into the bloodstream. And one stick of liquid IV, it just hits different in 16 ounces of water compared to water alone, baby. It's on a mission to change the world. They've even donated 19 million servings globally.

Grab liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costcoco or here's what you should do you should go to get 25 off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code circling back at checkout that's 25 off anything you order when you use promo code circling back at liquidiv.com experience better hydration today at liquidiv.com promo code circling back this is me pulling up with the cellular transport technology. Really? Is that that night vision? That's me. That's what it looks like from what I've heard.

Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? I'm over here trying to remember what I did on Friday, and I don't know why I'm- I just got so drunk last Friday. No, I didn't. What did I do? I barely remember. Here, Dylan, here's a tip for you. Here's a tip for you.

Before we do a segment called This Weekend in Fun. Oh, I had dinner. You should think of fun things that you do. Oh, he had dinner. You should think of fun things that you do throughout the weekend. No, no, no. I remember now. I went on a double date.

Bay and I went on a date. Oh, you texted us. You did something illegal. What did I do? You sent us an illegal photograph. I'm not going to say anything else. Not illegal by the rules. How was your double date?

Not common law. How was your little double date? That was fantastic, man. else. Not illegal by the rules. How was your double date? Not common law. Double date was fantastic, man. Fantastic. Hey, Joanne's. Just a fantastic margarita. The retro margarita. Suck it. The masculine urge to just sip a frozen marg with the squad.

It's crazy that we had a segment planned, and Dylan's going to ruin the entire segment and make me not want to do it anymore before we even get there but that makes it more fun no uh yeah so i had dinner with a lovely couple that i met for the first time um and then after that bae and i we we slipped off to um a place that doesn't allow pictures and yes i broke i broke a rule that i took a picture inside the place are you on like an app that like matches you with people to go on double dates with because like i didn't catch an invite for that double date yeah it's called the doubler no i no i'm not these are friends of bae's um work associate and friend and

now they're my friends so how about that were you like inside the vatican or something if you're listening i had fun talking you can the pope always takes photos inside the vatican right yeah he gets some he gets yeah we went to the Vatican on Friday night after dinner. Dude, Pope fit game stupid. Yeah. I just went to Instagram.com slash the Pope. And I'll say this. A guy named William P. Pope is absolutely ruining his Instagram presence by not posting for this account.

Would you mind if I got back to my weekend? Sure, dude. So Saturday was quite the day. Had a lot going on. The first thing that happened that day was the Rhodes man's first birthday party. I'll let Dave talk more on that, but I had a fantastic time. Couldn't stay the whole time, unfortunately, but did bring Rhodes, I almost said Parks, Rhodes a little gift, the little buggy.

What do you call those things? Can I ask you a serious question? Do you see the candy paint on there? It was dripping yeah got all over my driveway i would try to order a custom wood grain uh steering wheel but it was like a four week shipment and i just didn't want i wouldn't i didn't want roads to wait on it hey people are wondering did you and bae go to the sistine chapel last friday Is that why you couldn't take photos and you did? Yeah. Okay.

I just wanted to prove that I knew that you couldn't take pictures in there. I said the Vatican like a dummy. You can probably take pictures in the Vatican. The Sistine Chapel is like a part of the Vatican. Is it? Yeah. It's all right there. I should know that.

You should. Again, man, Mondays. It's crazy that that Ninja Turtle painted that whole ceiling by himself it's pretty disrespectful 16 times yeah damn ninja turtle michelangelo how do they paint with their hands like that it is in vatican city i know i've been there but i couldn't go in because i forgot i didn't wear pants that day remember that story that is that's kind of funny that's a little bit much right it was like 80 degrees outside anyway um so from rose's birthday party put like a brush at the end of his staff and do it like that but i don't know how intricate he could get. Imagine painting with nunchucks.

Plus, why did you say nunchucks? Why did you say that like Christopher Walken? I don't know. Ah, the nunchucks. Nunchucks. And his hands all greasy from all the pizza that he eats. Hi, dude. That's how he talked in the cartoon.

By the way, first time meeting your family, Dave? They're lovely people. Alyssa's parents as well. That is interesting that this is the first time. You met my sister briefly at one of the dallas meetup what why do i want to hang out with your sister she seems cool as hell i don't know why don't you fucking kind of a vibe she seems lit why you been hiding her this whole time i have not been hiding her she has a family in dallas she doesn't live here well that's not too

far um anyway family in dallas from the b-day party which was an absolute vibe, we went to Parkside tryouts, baseball tryouts, which I've been talking about. He kept a really good attitude, which I was very proud. He was proud of himself for getting out there and doing his thing. Before, I thought he might be a little nervous at the B-Day party just because that's a big deal. He was cool as a cucumber. Yeah. Cool as the other side of the pillow. Man, so that's a big deal. He was cool as a cucumber. Yeah. Cool as the other side of the pillow. Man, so he's a small fella.

I bought the smallest bat I could find at Academy for him. Sports and outdoors. Still too big. I don't know what to do. Did he put the bat on the ball? He made contact, yeah. Did he squish the bug? I told him before.

I go, just remember, squish the bug, Parks. He forgot to squish, I think. How did he, was it, did they do machine pitch or is it coach uh he hit three off a tee okay he's machine pitch is the level he's at he hit three off a tee and then three from the machine dude you you put a baseball on a tee in front of me I'm definitely making contact yeah it will just it's just sitting there right uh and then saturday night i went to a birthday party bae's boss um fantastic birthday party man it was lit had a lot of fun there um great great crowd great scene i drank um i started off with a I started off with a bourbon and soda

which I haven't done in a minute and then I went to red wine they had they had good red wine so I partook quite a bit keep going a lot of fun I'll let you guys get to your weekends

pretty much it Sunday was chill did you watch the games? I watched the games Joe Bird what did you do Dave? I watched the games. Nice. Joe Bird. What'd you do, Dave? I'm tired of Dylan's fucking weekend. What?

My weekend was lit. God, the masculine urge to shit on my weekend. Family got in town Friday. My sister and my nephew stayed with us. Parents, they got in. They came by. Saw the roads man before we went down to go to bed. And then I thought about hitting you guys up. if you wanted to do some friday beers but i was like

you know what no i'm not even gonna ask alissa like we got the big party tomorrow gotta be on my my my best behavior gotta look good gotta look clean for the photos pretty boy swag pretty boy swag so i just i stayed inside i stayed at home played a little uh mario kart on the switch pretty dope um it was a good time saturday as dylan mentioned was the uh the roads man first his first b-day uh we threw a little uh get together we did uh we did the deal where buy the cake the baby cake the cake, I think it's called. And it's just, look, it's just an opportunity for everybody to watch a baby get their face covered in cake and just throw cake everywhere. And it's fun.

It was fun. It was mega cute. Shout out to my sister and my wife for planning a very good theme, an Opry ski theme. My sister came through with the toddy recipe. We made toddies in mass quantity. I don't know if that's something that's ever been done, but we did it. Her fit also body bagged everybody else, by the way. She went harder than everybody.

Yeah. I honestly, I genuinely felt bad that Brett could not go due to being in protocol because he was very excited about this theme. The Opry ski theme. I mean, like the people I think who are going to nail that, it's Will and it's Brett. Those are your one and two. Okay. You did good too. You and Parks came through with the hats.

Did y'all get a pick? You should have got a pick. We got a front lawn pick. Okay. Yeah. Well, oh yeah pick. Okay. Yeah. Well, oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, right in front of you. It was a really good time.

The toddies were hitting. A little strong. They were good. A little strong. They were good. A little strong. But all in all, good time. Rhodes had fun.

Got some great gifts. I got some photos. Will, the hoodie is dope. I honestly want to get one, like a matching one. It's a Dallas Stars hoodie. It's a little large, but that's okay. He got those sweatpants, too. You warned us that he's going to grow into the gift.

He got those sweatpants, too, player. He got some sweats. I got him the full Dallas Stars sweatsuit. Alyssa doesn't let me get him dressed anymore because I exclusively put sweats on my son. That's good. That's what you're supposed to do. Like I, I want him comfortable at all times. Uh, but yeah, it was great. Dylan, the, uh, the dino mobile was a hit. That's a push him around outside yesterday. Yesterday was a beautiful day. Uh, yesterday woke up. fact, after the party, cleaned up, hung out, opened the gifts, and about 5 o'clock rolled around and I was kind of still feeling it.

Sent out the text, said, hey. You're trying to catch a second wave, a second vibe. I'm trying to act some beers. And luckily, nobody could go uh brett brett even went as far as to give him like to see if he was still positive for covid he was had i not had plans for that evening i would have i would have jumped on it that's easy to say now i mean it though i was monday morning quarterback i was ready to put work in dave uh yeah well it's for the best because about 30

minutes after i sent those texts i just hit a wall and it was one of those walls to where like if i had tried to keep drinking it would have been like i'm just tired guy trying to drink and can't get like any kind of fun out of it yep so uh yeah i just uh took a, I took an early bird, watched the Mavs and that was that. Finished Yellow Jackets. You didn't tell us that was on Showtime. Yes. I don't have Showtime, so. I'm not going to tell you you need to run out and get Showtime because it was a good

show. Don't get me wrong, but I don't know if it's sign up for a new platform. I'm at the point in my streaming career where i pay for enough of my own i have passwords for the rest except for showtime and i don't even know where to go with this i'll give you a password i'll give you our password if you want it because like i mean i'm a showtime guy like i've always been a californication fan i went through a big phase of watching that uh what's that show with when they all live in chicago randy what's that south side chicago show oh real world i love that show right what's it called why am i blanking you know i'm talking

you must love it no it's good yeah it's got that go describe the show shameless shameless ah my dad's a big shameless guy it's a good show show. It's fun. It is a good show. The season I watched, I enjoyed. They kind of just start doing the exact same thing every episode. I gave up after a few seasons because it got kind of played out. Pretty debaucherous. Yeah. Sunday, I watched football.

But before, it's something I haven't done in a long time. Probably like a year. I got outside and uh went for a little jog i don't really run i realized that i don't really like to i don't like how i feel after i run the next day just my i've got little bitch shins and um i did i ran i did like two miles and uh came back and i felt i felt pretty good right now not so much feeling sore in some spots that i haven't been soaring in a while but um that being said i knew i knew it was going to be uh stuck inside as the weather here is not great for the next five or six days so

i'm going to touch 20s here pretty soon davey boy you hear me speak for yourself the the temperature outside I pulled up on 22s really hold on let me check real quick did I not show you that they're still spinning out there I got don't stoppers for the jeep that's sick spree wells he's sitting on sprees out there that's honestly like the pinnacle of his career is having wheels named after and also when he when he choked pj carlissimo yeah i thought that's what he could try to choke his head coach i don't know if he will friday i had the most austin day i think i've had in a really long time you guys ready for this tell me tell me there's? Tell me I wasn't the most Austin guy in Austin on Friday, okay? Nope. No.

Friday, I went and recorded at my podcast job. Okay. After that, I skiddly-deed out and got some breakfast tacos for lunch. Classic move. Then I went and played 18 at Lions Municipal Golf Course, the famous Lions Municipal Golf Course. You got 18 in? Got 18 in.

I actually started leaving after nine, got in the car, was pulling out of Lions, called Sally and said, Hey, I'll be home in a few minutes. And she goes, Oh, you're not playing 18? I said, Are we talking 18? And she was like, Just turn around. I know you want to go. That was the day Sally became president. The masculine urge not to invite your friends to play golf with you.

He invited me, actually. Did you really? We were up here at breakfast talking. day sally became president the masculine urge not to invite your friends to play golf with you he invited me actually yeah the the did you really we were up here breakfast talk not only did i not uh plan this uh but i we went up and waited for an opening and a cancellation you invited dave no i did not invite dave the the the young man who coordinated this did invite me. And then I went to Matt's El Rancho, drank two Matt's famous Mexican martinis. You didn't try the martinis? Why would I do that when they already have a very good drink on the menu

that I wanted? And it's all the same. I'm just asking you to try it. Thank you, Dave. It's all the same beverage. No, I wasn't really in the mood to try things. I was more in the mood to have two Mexican martinis. They did not see me drink the first one.

I think I could have ordered another one at the table and they wouldn't have said anything to me because I'm kind of a bad boy in that respect. For those wondering, yesterday,

tacos al carbón. Saturday, obviously, we just mashed that birthday party. Can I ask you a question about your match trip? Mm-hmm.

Can you talk about what someone at your table did as far as their order? Because it's loco. My sister-in-law's boyfriend, he purchased something that no one does there. This isn't a loco. He got the Ben Crenshaw steak. People do that.

No, they don't. The Crenshaw is named after Gentle Ben. Gentle Ben Crenshaw. Yeah, it's pretty cool. When you texted that, I said, I've always wanted to get it, but I've had two different waiters talk me out of it for different reasons. One guy said, do you like steaks? But did they talk you out of it?

I think you pried. You didn't say, I'll do the Crenshaw steak. You were more like, hey, so how's the Crenshaw? You look at them with an air of suspicion behind you. And they obliged. They picked up what i was doing and one of the first guys said do you go to like do you like steakhouse steaks i don't know what kind of questions that of course and he's like yeah if you like it's not he basically said it's not great quality gosh the masculine urge to crush a crunchy at matt's sunday a crunchy sunday i did. I did what all the boys do.

I sat around watching football, American football all day. That's really cool, man. Hey, yeah. Yeah. How about the sports?

Dude, the sports have been lit. My quarterback is officially a, a Superbowl player. He plays in Superbowl now. Superbowl player. Pretty cool stuff. you know,

I want to give a special shout out to Joe Burrow Just dripping I like Mahomes This is Will Sports Minute just for those keeping track I'm kind of out of Mahomes right now Will Sports Minute People love it They're laughing at you

I'm a Mahomes guy I enjoy Mahomes He'll have his opportunities So I was happy to see joe burrow you know bounce back after that that injury last year and now make a super bowl you know he deserves it dude friday night i heard you had so many martinis they're calling you joe slurrow wow that's what i heard from a number of people i did i do want to answer a brief question about the super bowl before anybody asks a lot of people are asking who day going to beat them Bengals,

and it's going to be Matthew Stafford and those Rams. Hey, they got a home game, man. How about that? Second one in two years. Didn't sound like a home game yesterday. I love the Cincinnati travel. Wine them, dine them, 49 them. I'm happy for Stafford.

I'm happy for Odell Beckham Jr. I don't really care about him. I really am. I have no for Stafford. I'm happy for Odell Beckham Jr. I don't really care about him. I really am. I have no personal connection to him. His name's Odell. Call him OBJ. Okay. OBJ.

But I do have some big news in terms of, and this is also Will Sportsman presented by DraftKings. DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner in the NFL, has a huge offer for this weekend's big game. He has his own segment. He's a consummate professional. The game is a big one, if you guys haven't paid attention.

It is the big game, actually. All new customers can get 56-1 odds on either football team to win this weekend. Just bet $5 and win $280 in free bets if your team is victorious. That's right. Just bet $5 on either team to win the big game. And DraftKings Sportsbook will give new customers an additional $280 in free bets if the team they choose wins. If Sportsbook is available in your state, you have something to play for this weekend.

Everyone can play for their share of millions of dollars in total prizes with DraftKings daily fantasy football contests. To do all of this, download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use promo code WASHED and get 56-1 odds on this weekend's big game. Bet just $5 and win $280 in free bets if your team wins. That's promo code WASHED at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Dylan, can I get you to do a new segment alert, please? We have a new segment.

New segment alert. We have a new segment. Do we have a theme song for this or anything? Headlines That was sick Hey, make sure you record that We're going to drop that next time Talking together Headlines

About what happened over the weekend Headlines This weekend in headlines it's headline time i don't know why we went immediately to hang headlines headlines sung to the tune of footloose headlines headlines we're gonna do some original headlines dude that sounds great headlines dylan dylan likes both of those things. This guy. Come on. This guy's just, come on. Who sponsored you today?

So recently, I've been actually trying to workshop something for a long time. Something I miss the most about working at Grand X, of which there's a lot of things that I miss, mainly the FIFA I got to play for two hours a day, is sitting in the bullpen with the crew and trying to come up with just some of the most clickable, shitty headlines that we could possibly come up with. We wasted a lot of time workshopping headlines. It was fun, though, man. It was fun.

It was so fun. Dude, I miss it. Like, when I think about J-Bone writing the headline about Kid Rock's new song having people build a wall and run through it, it like that's exactly what I want like arguably the best headline incredible headline and so I thought to myself why why are we not just doing more headlines and so this week we have taken a major news story that has really taken all these websites by storm your TMZ's Dave your elite dailies your your people magazines

your New York Post even we're talking about Rihanna's pregnancy. Whoa. What? Rihanna's pregnant? That's crazy. She's pregnant? She has a child inside of her. Who's the baby zaddy?

I think it's her boyfriend, Aesop Rocky. Oh, what's his nickname? Like pretty boy or cute boy? Pretty boy Flacco. Pretty Flacco. Really? Yeah. Like Joe Flacco?

Yeah. They call him Pretty Flacco. Let's go ahead and look this one up. They call him Pretty Flacco, Dave. You don't have to look? Yeah. They call him Pretty Flacco. Let's go ahead and look this one up. They call him Pretty Flacco, Dave. You don't have to look it up. They call him that. Based on the conversations before we started this podcast, I don't think we know a lot about the guy.

I think it's worth asking before you record a podcast how to pronounce someone's name correctly, Dave, whether it's A$AP Rocky or A$AP Rocky. Did you say it really quickly so no one could really decipher how you were pronouncing it? I absolutely did. I absolutely did. I absolutely did. And I actually, after I did it, I mentally made a note to myself and said, Will, you crushed that. That's my rule method.

Rule? Just say it real quick so people are like, whoa. Oh. Okay. Oh, so you weren't. Rule raw. You weren't in an urban area. You were in a rural area.

Rural area. Yeah. Yeah, that rural area. Pretty rural out there. Yeah. Not a lot Pretty rural out there. Not a lot of representation out there. Matt Ruhl. Matt Ruhl, that's good.

Flacco, Flacco. Pretty Flacco. Why are you even looking it up? I'm telling you facts. Oh, another one of his nicknames is Pretty Motherfucker. That's good. Which is sick. That's good.

No one's called me that before. He is pretty handsome. Yeah, Pretty Motherfucker is a nickname for sure. I mean, he is not just handsome. Like, he has... He's sexy. He put on quite the show at ACL a few years back. He's a handsome lad. Made us wait about 40 minutes, but when he did come out there, he was great.

It was his birthday. I kind of get it. If I'm him, I'm maybe not scheduling a concert the day of my birthday if I know that I'm going to be getting absolutely reckless during that day. But it's up to him. It's whatever he wants. Older than I thought he was. How old is he?

Can I guess? Guess. 37. Oh. 34? He's 33. Yeah, so is Rihanna. Okay.

I mean, he's got a young face. I thought I was older than Rihanna. I remember in high school listening to Rihanna and thinking that she was, like, older than me. And it turns out I'm older than her. It's kind of depressing. Do we have any headlines? Well, she's bad girl Riri. What are we doing with this segment?

Are we going to, like, craft our own headlines? Headlines. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we've all come up with some headlines for Rihanna's pregnancy that we're going to run on our hypothetical clickbait blog site. So we're writing clickable headlines. This is if we worked for a blog that was going to break this news. And there's no doubt we would have broken this news because we were always very early

on stories. Yeah. We were usually the first. We would have had an inside track to Rihanna's pregnancy for sure. Well, I've written down six here. I don't know if i'm using all six of them are you scared to start us off i've written down one two three i'll start i have ten i have five jeez so the story is that she's not just pregnant but there have been photos released of her with showing her baby bump okay okay oh so you're going like next you're going like yeah yeah

mine are about the pics that show her with the baby. She's looking. Oh, you went way more topical than I went. She's looking beautiful. Very beautiful to me. Is that your headline? She's very beautiful. No, but that would be a good one.

How about you start us off, Will? Okay. I'm just going to read you the first one that I have. I'm not saying it's the best one I have. I'm just saying it's the first one. This is what I'm bringing to the pitch room. ooh na na what's its name 15 possible names for baby riri that's really good ooh na na what's his name uh that's pretty good fucking killed that damn dude how many people are clicking that like 3 000 how many concurrence are we getting on the

site for that i got one are. Are you ready? Yeah. ASAP Rocky, more like ASAP Rocked Up after seeing these reread pics. Dude, you got to chill. That was a great delivery. Deliver that one more time for the people at home. ASAP Rocky, more like ASAP Rocked Up after seeing these reread pics. Damn, so you're getting kind of age for reread pregnancy. You'll notice there's a theme to all of mine, and it's pretty much just about being horny over these pics.

All right, my first one. I love the way you lie down and father a child with me. Okay. I tried to work an umbrella into one of them. It's tough. I couldn't pull it. I couldn't pull it off. Will?

He got his Rockies off ASAP. Rihanna's pregnant. Okay. We don't know that. Okay. I got one. Was it one of the... Never mind. Seeing pregnant Rihanna will make you hate your pathetic life with your ugly girlfriend.

Yeah, dude. You didn't have to come at everyone's ugly girlfriend like that.'s mean your girlfriend is ugly compared to rihanna let's be honest randy like that one all right all right i was i did more serious ones bitch better not touch my tummy rihanna pregnant damn that's good okay you ready for this one? She's already friends with the monster under the bed. 63 reasons why Rihanna will be hashtag mom goals. Oh, that's good. Okay, okay. Dude, she is mom goals.

Dude, she is mom goals. Oh, and by the way, you'll need a cold shower after seeing these Prager pics of Rihanna. We doing Prager pics? Yeah. You don't have to do Prager. Yeah. I've never liked Prego or Pragers. I like Pragers because it's just very lame and corny.

Guess he wasn't that rude. Rihanna expecting first child with ASAP Rocky. Rude boy. Correct. Yeah. Its name is Kid Rocky. 69 names for Rihanna and ASAP's Kid. 69? Yeah. We came up with 69 names for rihanna and asap's kid 69 yeah we came up with 69 names yeah we're doing i'm a listicle guy we're just trying to get our numbers up all right you ready watch chart beat for a

little bit scroll through these pics of pregnant rihanna but stop when you get too hard what's wrong with you that's fucking good that's fucking good tell me you're not clicking on that no i'm definitely you're clicking yeah and you're getting like 12 pages from me because i'm clicking through all of them stop when you get too horny though oh so maybe you're only getting 11 pages out of me that's right now this is what you came for rihanna is pregnant uh-huh uh-huh that's good day came right i get bad sleep that's my fucking problem how asap's parenting style may differ from bad gal riri's and what it means for their future child it's pretty good good dude i killed that yours are like like really good i'm impressed but i'm

only halfway through i got one i'm only just getting started. Bad girl. Riri is pregnant. Shorty's still a baddie. Okay. Okay. Okay. It still looks really good. I don't know how, if I'm clicking that one as much as I'm clicking the last one about the, about the slideshow of photos,

but yeah, it's still good. Uh, my last one, it's a little niche. She found what in a hopeless place. Rihanna's pregnant. Uh huh.

Right. How many do you have left? I have left i have five left wow you went you kind of snapped i love doing headlines yeah we're gonna get mine out of the way you can just like rapid fire yours we can do that rihanna's baby bunk sorry let me start over rihanna's baby bump will make you fucking horny dude i'm sorry that one's really creative i wanted to really drive it home that she looks good you know i actually just came up with one more what is it dave rihanna's bump has dylan chivalry really interested okay okay dave i see what you're doing four or five seconds from busting rihanna and asap's possible sex playlist that's like four or five seconds whatever that song was that was can we talk about that song it was good it was not it was good wait she was a bad collab with someone

like paul mccartney and kanye it was it was it was a good song it was awkward she may be bad but she's perfectly good at it riri's pisces parenting style broken down is she a pisces she's a pisces i may be bad but i'm perfectly good most of us are familiar with the song sex in the air i don't care i love the smell of it why do you do it to yourself you know it's gonna end up on the social media sticks and stones may break my bones. Can you let the man do his headlines? Chains and whips excite me. I don't know if you're ready for this next one.

Priyana, why ASAP and Riri's fetus is all of us in 2022. Okay. Wait. I'm not proud of the next one. I'm not proud of the next one. Yeah, there are. Okay. I'm not proud of the next one, but not proud of the next one yeah there are there okay i'm not proud of the next one but this is what it is come this town tonight

where baby re was conceived based on the couple's recent instagram activity that's pretty i like it i like it we gonna come this town tonight. I've heard that podcast. And then my final one. Under my umbilical. Will ASAP cut the cord? That's good. That might be my favorite. You win, dog. Under my umbilical.

You kind of crushed it. Congratulations to the happy couple and their soon-to-be be child we're very happy for you over from wash media um and we can't wait to get all the clicks we need some more bangers out of her though i'll be honest yeah maybe she should spend more time maybe she's trying to spend some time you know spending time with herself dylan having a child what's more important her child or our ears that like to enjoy her music i think any person having a child should be able to choose whether or not they want to work

and how much they want to work. Ooh. You got served. You did get served by Will. Mm-hmm. Wow. In fact, let's put Dylan in timeout for the next six minutes. Turn his mic down.

Six minutes? Six minutes. I don't want to be in timeout. Okay, we'll do it for the next four or five seconds. Hey, that was a fun segment. Can we do that again? We can do that again. We can do that again. We need to do that.

That needs to be a monthly at a minimum. With a new year ahead, it's the perfect time to think about how to put yourself out there wherever there is. And since most of us can't communicate telepathically, Dylan, it all starts with words. How often you try to write something is important in an email a text a dm and you can find yourself agonizing over the wording for what feels like hours before you hit a send i always have questions before i go full send there are a thousand ways to say it and grammarly helps you get it right the first time we're all grammarly people even when i was writing headlines

at grand x the first thing i did was download grammarly to make sure that i was just on point with my grammar and it worked and since then they've grown as a company more than I could have ever imagined. Not only are they just telling me to toss a comma out of there. Now they're telling me like, Hey, well, you're being a little mean in your tone on these emails. Check that tone player. I can't help it. I'm kind of a bad boy. Yeah. These things, this, this has helped me in ways that I can't even describe. If you are applying for a job, maybe just inquiring about, you know, career opportunities, if you have like a, you know, an email that's just full of grammatical errors or just weird tonal things, like that's not good and you're not going to get hired. No. Honestly, you're just not.

going to get hired. No. Honestly, you're just not. You could be just searching for the perfect turn of phrase. And all you have to do is use Grammarly's double-click synonym feature to quickly search for replacements for the word giving you difficulty. Or is that trouble? Or is it stress? I don't know what it is, but there are so many different words for this stuff. It's crazy. You can set your audience and tone before you start with Grammarly's goals feature. And they even, like I said, they have that built-in tone detector which makes sure you're not being a jerk in emails dave i know i'm bad about it you guys call me out for it what being a jerk in email you are a jerk and i know you i know that not anymore i use grammarly what's your problem i don't know if you're someone out there who's just trying to work on your confidence when you're writing,

Grammarly does also remind you to trade hedging phrases. Like, I think we should maybe meet up this weekend for something more direct. Like, hey, let's meet up this weekend. I love that. I'm always a little scaredy cat when it comes to this stuff. I know, man. I'm always up against it. That masculine urge to be a jerk in emails.

That's facts. This year, let Grammarly help you put yourself out there with style. Our listeners can get 20% off Grammarly Premium at grammarly.com slash steam. That's 20% off at g-r-a-m-m-a-r-l-y dot com slash steam. New logo for Grammarly? Kind of a swag logo. Pretty cool.

It's an arrow that's like a refresh arrow, but it's also a G for Grammarly. Very smart. Very smart. I thought it was the G code. No, it might be. No, probably Grammarly. Very smart. Very smart. I thought it was for G-Code. No, it might be. No, probably Grammarly. Oh, okay. That probably makes more sense.

Do you think the Grammarly coders call themselves the G-Code? That is a great little logo they have. It's probably a better one. Call that branding, Dave. You know? Yeah, I'm familiar with it. Dave, I have a question. Yeah?

Prince Frederick, Prince Van Anhalt did what? Will, I'm so glad you guys asked. Because Prince Frederick, Prince von Anhalt, just became a new dad. What? Adopts adult man to preserve lineage, per TMZ. He adopted a 27-year-old man. He adopted an adult man. Okay.

That's what it said. That adult man's got to do his ad. So, Friedrich Pinz von Anhalt is a German-American businessman known as the last husband and widower of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Yeah, everybody's familiar with him, right? So, is he actually like a prince? Like, what's he the prince of? Let me break it down for you, Will.

I knew you guys would have some questions. His fit's going crazy in his Wikipedia profile. Turns out at the age of 36, he was adopted by Marie Auguste von Halt, of course. Then in her 80s, and whose first husband had been Joachim, son of former German emperor Wilhelm II. Upon adoption, Lichtenberg's name became Friedrich Prinz von Halt. So he too was adopted. Upon adoption, Lichtenberg's name became Friedrich Prins von Onhalt. So he too was adopted. So he got the rock thrown to him, the royal rock,

and then he decided to dish it back out to a younger player, an up-and-comer. Well, we don't know about that. Just to pass on the lineage. I don't really know. This is the note that I really, really like. Apparently, Kevin's dad, Kevin is the young man that who's being adopted. Kevin. Basically.

What's up, Kev? His name is just Kevin. Kevin's dad. Prince Kevin. Kevin's dad had been friends with Frederick. Now, Kevin has officially changed his last name on the birth certificate. Will be living with his new father. So they were friends.

They're going to live together? He just son-cucked this family. So this kid already had... It's a son-cucking. This kid already had an entire family? Correct. And he's just like, peace, I'm out of here. I'm going to be this dude's kid.

Dylan, I'm glad you said that. Kevin says his former parents are all good with it and will all remain friends. I mean, why? Because they're going to end up getting kickback from this like well it's interesting this is weird kevin's new last name will come with a few responsibilities he agreed to take care of frederick he'll be helping out his new father by cooking for him doing chores around the house and making sure his bills are paid on time so his name is kevin prince von anholt uh yeah kev i just learned that uh prince frederick had an affair with uh anna nicole smith i saw that too in 2007 he said they had a decade-long affair

that's a long and then he could potentially be be the father of her infant girl danny lynn burkhead what not an infant anymore but they did they did a test they did a test and he is not biological father let's get maury on the line povich well you're gonna like kevin kevin who's also german a graduate of uc santa barbara now owns a soccer training center let's fucking ride just training soccer players okay how much money is this dude how old is kevin 27 wait who are you at the age of 27 if you go to your parents and you're like hey so kind of awkward but this prince he kind of wants me to be his son like do you guys mind if i dip out for a little bit like i'll still try to make the next family reunion and stuff but like do you mind if i

become a prince i think my parents would be like what's your what what's your fucking problem if it was by like title only that would be one thing but he's trying to go and live with this dude i don't know if he's on title though he might be a spotify or apple music user if i if they said to me will you have to switch off spotify and get on title in order to become a prince, I would not do it. Who's on Tidal currently? Jay-Z and only Jay-Z. One person? Mm-hmm.

And maybe Beyonce uses his login. I almost got Tidal. Wasn't it somebody, it was either Kanye or Jay-Z were going to drop his album on Tidal. He did. Jay-Z drops his last album on Tidal and no one talks about it or plays it anywhere because it's only on Tidal.

Someone at Grand X sent like a Dropbox folder with all the songs on it, and that's how I listened to it. Was it 444? Because you can get that on. Can you get that though? I think it was like you could only get it on Tidal for a while. Okay, that would make much more sense. Because in the beginning.

There's like a lost Jay-Z album out there. In the beginning, you could only listen to it on Tidal or the Dropbox album that was shared at Grand X. Tidal did not work. Guys, I too have been workshopping a new segment, and I want to just run it by you now just blindly. box album that was shared it did not work um guys i too have been workshopping a new segment and i want to just run it by you now just blindly i think it's something we could do honestly weekly let's play guess prince frederick von on holtz net worth oh dylan um since i heard about this

guy for the first time about 10 minutes ago um i don't have a lot of background on just prince von non-hall um 78 million dollars my guess was 60 million dollars oh you guys were you guys were spit roasting at 70 million dollars either side of it we'll saw that's not that's that's a great fortune but it's not enough for me to be adopted by someone not to have people introduce you as prince i want bezos money if i'm getting adopted as a grown-ass man i don't mean to sound so if That's a great fortune, but it's not enough for me to be adopted by someone. Not to have people introduce you as prince. I want Bezos money if I'm getting adopted as a grown-ass man. I don't mean to sound extravagant. So if you're going to get adopted as a grown-ass man, you will only do it for the richest man in the world.

I'll only do it for like, I want a Billy in front of your- How old is too old to get adopted? It's younger than 27. Can I ask you guys a question? Give me your top three potential new daddies for yourself okay who do you want to be your daddy okay i put you on the spot yeah and look i'll start i'll name some some potential daddies and you guys say yay or nay randy no no i don't see that happening call me a horse because elon musk he's just too he's just too weird for me he'd end up trying to change my

name to a bunch of like pound signs and what would your symbol i don't get daddy vibes from him i would be hashtag d man i would make i would let him change my name to that I would be hashtag D-man. I would let him change my name to that. Maybe Cubes. That's a good one. Courtside seats to the Mavs, Dave. That's a good one, yeah. Yeah.

Any major franchise owner of a sports team would be a great new father if you're going to get adopted at 27. Rihanna and Aesop would be very nice parents to have at this age. I mean, we could just go out mobbing together Clooney ooh

I feel like that would have a little bit of like he would make you go to like no not do chores but he would make you go to like balls and stuff oh no I have to go to a ball with George Clooney please no oh my mama ball is like oh she will only let me eat like

the nicest caviar at this place i just want to play marion golf and vibe okay i worry about my finances then you could i mean i don't think you need like a certified daddy to do that i think you just need a nintendo switch yeah i guess that doesn't require a new daddy yeah dave i don't know i don't know right now i don't know who needs to tell you this, but you don't need to get adopted to play your Nintendo Switch. Sometimes I feel like it. Hey, Dylan, who do you want to be your daddy? I mean, I just threw out two.

Give me another daddy. Cubes is the best answer yet that I've heard. Yeah. If I'm going to get adopted at that age, I feel like we need to have an age that they have to be minimum. Who's the, you know who I want? Toto. Give me Toto Wolf.

Toto Wolf? I want to be in the F1 scene. Have you guys seen Drive to Survive? It's on Netflix. It's a pretty cool look into the world of F1. Really? Yeah. That sounds pretty sick.

It's really creating a lot of buzz over here in the States. I want to get into F1, like through adoption. Looking for an F1 daddy is what I'm saying. Who's the Red Bull guy? Jared Borslow. Okay. Brett Merriman also works in that.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, Red Bull. Mm-hmm. Remember he had a crippling Red Bull addiction? Still has it. No, now he just has

a crippling Celsius addiction. Who else, man? There's some good zaddies out there to pick from, really. Randy's got one that he's thinking of right now. Yeah. Randy just said Tom Hanks and he gets to be Chet's brother. Plus, you can act a fool on social media. He's not going to say shit to you.

Yeah. That's just Chet. You can somehow do whatever you want on social media, actually. Do you think Chet's just sitting there like, God do whatever you want on social media actually like do you think chet's just like sitting there like god i hope my dad doesn't like check instagram today and see this stupid fucking video i put up of me getting my ass hit or my face hit by an ass all day it's kind of lit church church um this has nothing to do with this segment but i saw a funny tweet that reminded me of a norm joke i mean it is a norm joke and i forgot about it like a snake he was interviewing he was interviewing the workaholics guys for some

like award like internet award show and he told them for years i struggled with my addiction to workahol that is so stupid and i've been thinking about it all weekend that is so stupid that's pretty bad um did y'all see there's a jackass clips account no it's just it's just the best jackass bits from over the years and it just tweets them out and i have to say worth a follow uh new york times magazine did an unexpected feature article this weekend on we man I have not read it. He's a man that wheeze. He's just a small man. Pretty flattering piece, no?

The literature. I haven't read it yet, but I assume they didn't do like a slanderous piece about Wee Man on New York Times Magazine. That'd be fucked up. You never know. Out of all those guys,

I feel like you can't slander Wee Man before some of the other dudes. I feel like Rake Yawn needs an exposed piece before. rake yawn had a problem with mustard oh five times rake yawn was all of us i can't no one knows rake yawn okay let's stop can we just start let's just do a podcast just all headlines new patreon tuesday just a little too much fun with that segment i i love doing a good headline

i do love doing a good headline you know what i also like an option that has a little something extra that makes your choice a little easier oh tell me more talking about busy hard seltzer baby the first hard seltzer with antioxidant vitamin c busy brings something unique and delicious to the table. It's so good to have Vizzy back in the mix right now. Get Vizzy. Shake that booty nonstop till the beat drop. Just keep shaking it. Don't shake it before you drink it. It'll spray.

If you're a guy like me, Vizzy was never not in the mix, honestly. That's facts. I celebrate it year round. Yeah. I had their beta version. They sent me some and I drank it and I was like, I'm in on this. So I was pre-ground floor. They just for betas?

I only drink the alpha version. It's funny. Vizzy is so in the mix for me that I've actually taken mixed drinks out of the mix. Vizzy's the first hard seltzer crafted with antioxidant vitamin C extracted from the superfruit acerola cherry. There are plenty of hard seltzers to choose from, but with its bold and delicious dual fruit flavors and antioxidant vitamin C, Vizzy makes the choice a little easier and a lot tastier. Pineapple, mango, black cherry lime, strawberry, kiwi, blueberry, pomegranate. Superfruit.

Superfruit. For sure. It's superfruity. They even got that watermelon hard seltzer pack and the lemonade pack, dog. They got everything. They have a flavor you want. Go get it because it's out there. Probably at the gas station down the street.

You think I don't? Go cop one. Bring me a variety pack of lemonade and I'll reach in and grab one and it won't matter because they're all delicious. Actually, yes, they are. And guess what? They also have zero grams of sugar. They don't have sugar in them. Yeah, it has zero grams of sugar per 12-ounce serving.

Step up your seltzer game with Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy, go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. To get updates on the latest flavor drops and more, sign up for emails at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribe. That's VizzyHeartSeltzer.com slash subscribe. Must be 21 or older. Dave, before we get into our new segment called Masculine Urges, you just uttered a sentence that I think I need to touch on real quick. You talked about reaching in and grabbing a lemonade heart seltzer. Have I ever told you about the game that we came up with called Reach and Grab?

Sounds like a game I don't play. Something you should play behind closed doors. Yeah, if you do that with fellow consulting adults and consenting. And consenting. With consultants, then that's fine. That's your prerogative. So in Michigan, as you know, you can return your cans for 10 cents each. Oh, yeah.

And so at parties, unlike you people in Texas who just throw your cans for 10 cents each oh yeah and so at parties unlike you people in texas who just throw your cans crush them up do whatever we would take our cans and put them in a giant trash bag that was a little judgy yeah it was that recycle and then so not if we not that many people recycle their beer as if we don't have a green initiative i thought your green initiative was just to burn more i have been burning more so one night my friend came up with a game called reach and grab where you reach your hand into the thing of cans the garbage can of cans uh-huh you grab one of them and you drink what's left in the can you bring it out and you drink that wounded soldier and the the point of the game is to try

try to find the biggest wounded soldier you can find in there and drink it. That game stinks, man. I hate that game. Dylan, I'm going to be honest with you. One of the worst games that was ever come up. That game sucks.

Don't tell me you've never done this. Have you ever, when was the last time? I'm hoping the answer was high school. You were at a party, didn't have any more beer. Cause you can only buy a limited amount and you were looking around and you just saw like a bottle with a little bit in it a random one you went over and just pounded it dave i've never done that oh you know you've done it

you've done it you've done it i promise everyone's done it once everyone knows that they've done it one time at least on that misto i never know I think the last time I did it, I was underage though. There's no reason to do that after like 19. Yeah, because it's like, it's one of those things where it's like, I don't know if I can go get a beer at the bar, but I'm just going to, there's one that's over there. It looks like no one's touched it. I'm just going to go grab that. There's not actually one, Dylan. That was a fake point I was doing.

Okay. But yeah. That would be a bad game to play in these uncertain times. You know, we're still dealing with an ongoing global pandemic. I know somebody did this like four years ago and they recently brought it up to me. It's just like discussing with themselves. Did Jared do the bath? Not the bath mat.

The bar mat. He did. He did. Yeah. Like the Matt Damon or something. The masculine urge to drink anything at any cost. The Matt Damon. Is it really?

I think it's called the Matt damon that's that's not the worst well another part of reach and grab too was that at the end of the night like all the liquid would fall out of the cans into the corner of the trash bag and then you'd sniff the corner of the trash bag and that's too much and then you would do one of those that is this you're drinking trash trash water trash well you're just drinking beer but it's several different types of beer that have been sitting there in a trash bag for a long time. And mixed with like saliva from 20 different people. Doesn't matter.

Alcohol will kill it. It's fine. Yuck. Y'all are disgusting. Is it time for masculine urges? Rrrr. God, the masculine urge to drop a new seggy. All right, we'll do the song for masculine urges.

Rrrr. That's not it. That's supposed to be masculine urge to just it's it's way harder to do the home improvement theme song when when you're just doing it with your mouth um actually yeah we'll introduce the segment i actually do have the uh the song uh we have a new segment, new segment alert. That's a bit that I do. And I think we have a theme song for it as I cue this up. Okay. Yeah.

Let's do it. It's time for masculine urges. I've already used all my material in this episode, so I don't have that many left. It's that masculine urge. Masculine urge to just. Damn. Okay. It's that masculine urge. Masculine urge to just... Damn. Okay.

What is that? What song is that? You don't know the Home Depot song? Are you kidding, dude? Dude, do you even go to some bar stores? Your new friends lack all swag in the world. You're not putting that on every Uber you get into? That's the Home Depot song? into that's the home depot song the masculine urge to roast your boy for not knowing the home depot song let me guess you go to lowe's i go to home depot or as i call it blows

i i just i think the customer service is better at home depot is all i'm saying in my experience there's two of them on Brody. Randy knows. Yeah. Randy lives close to one of them. The masculine urge to pit two home improvement stores against each other while the home improvement song just played. Who wants to... Who's going to start?

I've had a couple masculine urges lately. You want to hear my most masculine urge that I've had? Yeah. And this happened over this last weekend. Are you guys ready for this? Please. I had a masculine urge this past weekend to play a drinking game at a first birthday party. I don't know if you were even here for this.

Did you play it? We ended up playing it. Yeah. Micah and I played something called the Guinness game. And I don't know why this is appropriate to play at a first year old first birthday party. It's fine. It's lit. You guys familiar with the Guinness game? Was-year-old first birthday party. It's fine. It's lit. You guys familiar with the Guinness game?

Was this my son's birthday? Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. I didn't go to two. I feel like I met the criteria to be selected to play this game. I don't think there was any Guinness left once Mike and I had gotten through this game, but we played the Guinness game where you put it in.

Shouts to Dave. Dave has the classic Guinness pint glasses that are meant for Guinness and Guinness only. Wow. Props to you. The masculine urge to collect Guinness glasses. Dave has a masculine urge to have the proper glassware for his proper drinks. But Dave, unfortunately, only froze one of the glasses. So I had to have a room temperature glass. That's fine.

Dude, I prefer my Guinness a little bit room temperature. I do too, Dave. I do too. And I knew that about you. The game is where you have to take your first sip of Guinness and then drink it between the harp and the word Guinness on the glass. Neither of us did it. We had four opportunities.

Neither of us did it. I've heard of this game and I'm assuming you've showed it to me because I don't know where, I don't know anybody else who drinks Guinness other than my dad. Hashtag Chad's a big fan. The No Laying Up guys are big fans of this game, but just people in general are big fans of this game. The masculine urge to make a game out of drinking i had one earlier at the weekend is that masculine urge to push my son

in his new dino mobile at a high rate until my wife gets upset that was just like a classic one david i'm not sounding like my mom the masculine urge to spend an hour and a half on friday assembling said dino buggy for dave's son so he wouldn't have to do it just a real top tier friend move i noticed also a masculine urge i know you notice you hit him with the santa i'm sorry unwrapped yeah wrapping that thing the masculine urge to leave that thing unwrapped was just i'm glad you didn't overwhelm masculine urge to not wrap it up i've got way too many boxes in my garage. I did put a bow on the steering wheel.

I don't know if it stayed on. It didn't. It doesn't matter. It's still great. It is fine. Road's like that. Okay. Yeah.

Apparently, it only sticks if it's on grain. Really? Yeah. Dude, well, it's not. I didn't. I wasn't going to say anything that. I said it. It's not.

He's not gripping grain. And that's. Dylan, I did not expect you to get a custom I said. It's not great. It's not. He's not gripping grain. And that's Dylan. I did not expect you to get a custom steering wheel. I let him down. I didn't mean to call you out like that, but I just had the masculine urge to say whatever the hell I want. That's good. You guys were here, so you probably saw this, but I had that masculine urge to eat three slices of pizza in a social setting that only calls for two. Yeah. I only had one piece of pizza at your

party and i and it was a huge regret of mine not having more well per my new health initiative i didn't eat any slices at his party and i i wanted them it looked very good you couldn't have had a slice it's very thin pizza you would have have been okay. It's shreddy season. I got a wedding to look good for coming up in like just three months, actually. She was wedding. Mine, you fuck. Oh, you'll hate this one then because I've been having that masculine urge to drop a bag at Long John Silver's with the boys. Really?

I'm in. Say no more. I've been kind of thinking about that. Say no more. John is long. Long John. Yeah. The masculine urge to moisturize at night before being tucked in by bae.

What? That's one of the happier. Does she moisturize you? No, I moisturize myself and then she tucks me in. Okay. Does she go to bed before you or after you? Probably after. Well, she has to go after you if she's tucking him in.

Yeah, she tucks me in and then walks around to her side of the bed. Then she gets in and tucks herself in. Does she hit you with that full burrito? Does she tuck it in underneath your stuff? Yeah. That's big. Yeah, she swaddles me. It's pretty lit.

Do you sleep pencil? Uh-huh. She swaddles me so well I can't move. It's like a straitjacket. I've had a masculine urge that involves Dylan, but I don't know if he's noticed it yet. I've had a masculine urge to put down my windows and blast music as I drive by your house every single time.

I didn't know this. I know. I look at your house every single time, hoping that someone's outside. How often do you drive by the crib? All the time. Why don't you ever stop in? Maybe I will.

What the fuck's your problem? Like, where are you going when you drive by? The grocery store. Either one of my sister-in-law's house that lives right over there. I don't know. stop in? Maybe I will. What the fuck's your problem? Like, where are you going when you drive by? The grocery store. Either one of my sister-in-law's house that lives right over there. I don't know. Dude, come through. God, dude. You're always in my personal business.

Come to your neighbor and you'd say it doesn't even exist. In the unlikely scenario where you guys drive by my house, don't come by. Because I've been having the masculine urge to drink beers alone in my garage. So you want us to actively not invite you out for beer so you can drink alone in your garage. Correct. Correct. And today, man, I've been feeling that masculine urge to urinate three times before we actually start recording the podcast. That's tight though.

That's what's up. That's the one I've really been fighting. I had a masculine urge recently. As you guys know, on Sunday Scaries, I have a new sponsor called Framebridge. And they gave me three free frames and i can use i can use this code for whatever i want but uh i have the masculine urge to frame a hockey jersey from my man cave that does not exist yet damn is it austin ice bats it's not it's it's a tings. Nick Lindstrom. Ever heard of him? Oh, yeah. Pretty good. Oh, yeah. Wow.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And my last one, I've just been having this masculine urge to pull my music down from Spotify. I didn't know you had music on Spotify. Yeah. I've been doing some side projects. Yeah. It's under a different name. I barry rigby's whole he's thinking

about taking down welcome to will mons if rogan doesn't get pulled down barry if you're listening barry make a statement dog give us the notes app saturday after y'all left so we had extra pizza probably because dylan didn't want to eat any pizza and uh i just ate pizza for like the next four hours. I had like eight slices throughout the day. That's what you do with pizza. I just grazed. You ever grazed pizza?

I didn't even put it in the fridge or heat it up. I was just eating room temperature pizza. You know, the snow caps were a nice little party favor for the birthday party. Not the party favors you were looking for. I don't know if you knew this, but Will actually brought his own snow to the birthday party. I was doing a lot of cocaine in your bathroom at your son's first birthday party. Masculine urge to do cocaine. Yeah, Rhodes got into it.

Masculine urge to do cocaine at a one-year-old's birthday party. Rhodes got in. He was like, dude, dad, my gums are numb. Yeah. What the fuck is that? Oh, he started talking too? Oh, yeah. Y'all missed a lot.

The masculine urge to do cocaine with one-year-olds. Very few times do they talk before they walk. Damn. The masculine urge to just, in this segment, I think, is upon us. I have one last masculine urge. Okay, let's hear it. Are you ready for this? This is something I've been doing lately, and I think I need to stop.

Now that I'm a father, I think I need to be a little more mature. I've had the masculine urge lately to just insult people when I see them in public rather than just go up and say hi. Really? You know what I mean? You know when you see my brother-in-law, Drew, there's just something about him where you just want to talk shit to him the second you see him? Yeah. What is that about? I've been doing that to everybody lately, and I feel like i just need to tone it down no not strangers i just need

to tone it down though like what kind of like drop one on us what kind of stuff do you say like dylan dylan appropriately dressed up for for rhodes's birthday party in apres ski gear and like the first thing i wanted to say when i walked into the party was like cool hat bitch yeah it's just me like why am i doing that actually i made fun of your fit immediately when i saw you i know it's the masculine urge to make fun of each other before actually being nice to each other. I said that my fit bodied yours. Yeah. Kind of made me question everything.

Mike embodied a lot of people. He got his Elizabeth Holmes fit off. Yeah. Elizabeth Holmes. Holmes. Should we get out of here? Yeah. It's time.

It's been fun. Bye. That's a good epi, man. Yeah. Two new sags. Bye. here yeah it's been fun bye good epi man yeah two new sags bye