Circling Back - Horny Popes & Dillon's Broken Toe

Episode Date: November 18, 2020

The Pope was caught being H on the TL, Dillon broke his toe, St. Olaf College has outlawed kissing during sex, Fleets and the new Instagram layout, This Weekend in Fun, and Brett’s Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (9:01) The Pope Liked An Ass Instagram (25:28) Dillon Broke His Toe (34:40) No Kissing During Sex (49:10) Fleet x New Instagram Layout (57:40) This Weekend in Fun (1:04:45) Brett’s Breaking News Hims: www.forhims.com/steam (first visit free!) Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (first refill free) Ritual: www.ritual.com/circlingback (10% off first three months) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name's will to freeze to my right david ruff buongiorno hola what's wrong with you i'm trying out a new thing i don't know if you saw my IG story At DC Rough the other day Just kind of a new intro 2020, you know Just trying new bits There are no rules anymore, Dave Do whatever you want, man

There's definitely some rules, but No I just said there aren't, so Greetings, Pod Greetings Happy afternoon to all of you Yes Yes, happy afternoon Happy afternoon Who says that?. Yes. Yes. Happy afternoon.

Happy afternoon. Who says that? Like I said, I'm trying out some new material. He's just workshopping new things. Look, glad to be here, man. Dylan Chivery. Glad to get this pod underway. Dylan Chivery.

Yeah. Sorry for the late start today, fam. No worries. Talking to the listeners. I'm not apologizing to you. They'll be fine. Yeah, they'll be fine. They'll be fine. If anything, we're coming in with some really hot takes. There's something to the listeners. I'm not apologizing to you. They'll be fine. Yeah, they'll be fine. They'll be fine. If anything, we're coming in with some really hot takes.

There's something to be said that on the very few times that we are forced to record in the afternoon versus the morning, I will say we come in much hotter. Yes. We might fade at the end a little bit more. It might be flip-flops, but we do come in hotter. Back when we used to record a podcast under a different name, I used to actually push for an afternoon episode weekly because i just think the energy is different you're a little bitch in the morning i don't remember you pushing for that but yeah i did but no one no one listened to me per use i'm not a bitch in the morning we talking about i marked your business emails as spam did you that makes sense yeah there was There was actually, Will was missing, like, merch emails for a good month because he had created a filter that sent them all to spam.

And so we were, like, trying to do stuff. And Will was like, I'm not getting emails. Oh. I still get them. No, no. This was, yeah. I had muted a word. No, I had taken a word and marked it as, you know, if that word is in something, it should mark it as unread.

It better be a very uncommon word in order to pull that off. It's a company name. And so, yeah, it took about a week to realize, like, oh, the reason I'm not getting these emails is because of that super aggressive filter that I set up in my email. And luckily that has been resolved. Yeah. So no worries. Yeah. So Squarespace sends me the merch emails and also all the mail-in submissions.

They all come from the same subject line, so I can't do anything like that. That's all going to change soon. It's a minor inconvenience. Eyes emoji. Square Pace is what Brett puts on his breakfast tacos. Yeah. Square Pace. Yeah.

That's crazy. I see you're shaping the beard a little bit more these days. Yeah, I shaved. Well, I shaved today. I went a notch. Just the word is a notch less. You went with the Luke P line underneath the chin. Oh, did you go too far?

I don't really know how to do it. Turn the wheel. Show him. See? Oh, you did go. Yeah, you went a little too far off. That's like the 2016 DJ beard line. I didn't mean to.

Here's the good thing. Here's the good thing, Brett. Okay. As a beard guy myself, the good thing about you is that you're young. You're in good shape. And so you're not like the – I don't appreciate the hesitation, but that's – Well, I was going to say like great shape, but I was like, I don't know how good a shape Brett's in.

You're in good shape. He's in fine shape. He's in great shape, but I was like, I don't know how good a shape Brett's in. You're in good shape. He's in fine shape. So you don't have the 36-year-old MLB closer aggressive line because they always have the extra chin underneath that sticks out. You don't have a second chin to worry about, so you're fine right now. You have a gifted jawline, beard line.

Jawline, there's something here. Like, Lupe accentuates his jawline with his beard line. That's what I'm saying. He's got a strong... it's very contoured. The guy's crazy, but he's got a great jaw. 100%. I thought about shaving in Mexico. All of it?

Yeah. I will say, and you guys are going to love this. We're going to lose listeners. Please don't. I'm going to do a hard reset at some point in the next three months. Is there a purpose behind that, or is it just to, like, see how you look? Just to make sure that everything's still there. Okay.

Yeah. I just want to make sure like I still have a jaw and everything. Maybe like a mole somewhere that you got to get checked out. Honestly, yes. Like I am a little worried that like there might be something underneath here that's just like I need to go to a dermatologist for. We'll see. Fair.

You should just go on a reality dating show and let that person whose heart you're trying to woo shave you. That's kind of hot. It was weirdly one of the hotter scenes. I made Sally shave me last night, actually, after that scene. Manscaped.com. Oh, come on. Nice.

Go follow Circle and Backpod. Yeah, we're at 10.2K followers. Leave a review and five-star rating. After this episode, we're jumping right into our Bachelor recap. I have to say, and I'm not going to hold this take for The Bachelor, last night's episode was electric. Very good. I loved it.

I thought it was one of the best episodes we've had in a really long time. It was very good. It got back to the old ways a little bit. It was a little trashy last night. Yeah, a little trashy, a little dramatic. It's the horniest season of all time. It was very good. It got back to the old ways a little bit. It was a little trashy last night. Yeah, a little trashy, a little dramatic. It's the horniest season of all time. Yeah. We finally have someone who's acting like a little brat and chasing.

I'm into it. Last night was good. But go to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. We'll be doing that episode right after this. As always, twitch.tv slash washmedia. Go make it happen. And keep an eye out.. Keep an eye out. Just keep an eye out.

What does that mean? Which one? All of them. What does that mean? I don't know. Just keep an eye out. Okay. Might be some stuff in the works, guys.

Whoa. Keep an eye out. I love stuff. There's definitely some stuff in the works. Yep. Speaking. What? I tweeted yesterday, just making sure everybody likes golf merch still.

That's good. People need it. Wow. People did. People did. That is a tease. Let's talk about hymns real quick before we really jump into everything. Brett, you're a user.

Preventative. Yeah, prevent defense. That's fine. That's fine. You saw some thinning up there, and you were like, hey, got to make this happen. Yeah, just probably 20 years old. I was out in Denver.

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Yeah, I've seen it. I see people losing their hair. It's unfortunate. It's not what you want, necessarily. The best way to prevent more hair loss is to do something about it while you still have some, much like Brett. Brett's like, hey, prevent defense. Let's do this.

Absolutely. Hopefully better than the Buffalo Bills run it, you know what I'm saying? Oh, that was rude. I'm sorry. Yeah, that was a little unnecessary. Sorry, Dave Merriman. Can you apologize to Western New York, please? I'm sorry, Western New York.

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So the Pope is horny. Yeah, Yeah. It turns out that the Pope liked a, how do you call it? Lude? Instagram. It's not quite lewd, but it's an aggressive Instagram post. It's a really aggressive Instagram post. Like, this girl, this skirt doesn't fit her. I got questions, though.

I got questions. I don't know if you guys can answer them, but, like, the Pope's not just, like, scrolling Instagram, right? No. I don't, though. I got questions. I don't know if you guys can answer them, but the Pope's not just scrolling Instagram, right? I don't know. There's no way. He's not just chilling and is like... Because certainly, I saw that he follows zero people. Which is a problem. But if he was to follow, he wouldn't go to the

horny section of the internet. No, but what does his Discover feed look like if he doesn't follow anybody? I'm wondering if either he stumbled upon the Discover page and didn't know what he was doing and his fingers got a little loose. I don't know. I just don't understand how this could happen. According to the New York Post, the Vatican is probing Pope Francis' Instagram,

liking what's-her-name Natalie Garaboto's photo. Another question. So there's a probe, Dylan. What have her numbers done since this happened, since this news leaked? She's got to be doing absolute numbers now. Imagine getting a double tap from the Pope. I'm going to sort this out, Dylan. I'm going to sort this out.

Is this appropriate? Because are you sure she's not in school? I mean, she's dressed like she's. I don't think that's a. That's a thing. Like, she needs a new school uniform. The shirt doesn't fit. It doesn't fit.

I don't think that skirt passes the fingertip rule, you know? Do you have that at your school? Yes. You got to get like two inches below the fingertips? Whoa. What? No, the way that you kind of phrased it sounded a little horny, but it was more Brett wrong in dealing with silence.

Does that skirt pass the fingertip rule? It doesn't need to be. No, you had to put your arms to your side. You have to be like two inches below the fingertips. That was the rule at our school. The first part of that word just needs to not make its way into this segment is the problem. Which one? Oh, finger.

Yeah. Correct. I mean, look, we have fingers. We do. Just say metacarpal or whatever. I'm not. I'm not going to do that. Appendage.

That sounds even grosser. Yeah, you broke your toe. Is that later on? I rebroke my toe. Oh, my God. We need to talk about this. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do.

We'll get to it in a second. So who's running the... Okay, do you want to see what her numbers have done? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so she was already super Instagram famous. This wasn't like a random horny girl that Horny Pope just decided to match. She's the one that Randy's always showing us. Yes, exactly.

Oh, yeah, that's right. So as of November 12th, which was less than a week ago, she had 2.2 million followers. Those are numbers. More than 10.2. So since then, she's put on over 120,000 followers in six days. Hmm. That's pretty good. I would have expected more.

I kind of agree. But still very strong. To be fair to her, she was plateauing. So this was big for her in the grand scheme. She got that Pope spike. She needed that bump. Yeah, what would you do if you were looking at your phone and you were like, what? What? Why does the Pope just like my photo? Can you sort, like on Instagram, I would you do if you were looking at your phone and you were like, what? What?

Why does the Pope just like my photo? Can you sort, like on Instagram, I mean on Twitter, you can sort verified action on your feed, you know? Can you do that on Instagram too? Can you see how many verified people have double tapped or commented? The last time I ran a verified account was at Grand X. And you could not differentiate that. Okay. Because Twitter allows you to.

Yeah. We know that because, you know. You know. That's obnoxious. That's obnoxious. Stop. That's how I laugh now. Just all breathy?

Have you tried to get verified, Brett? No. Again, there's no reason you tried to get verified, Brett? No. Again, there's no reason I need to be verified on Twitter. What? Why? Yeah, dude. For sliding in DMs?

Sorry, whose DMs am I sliding in? Corporations. Yeah, business people. I DMed Farmer's Dog the other day because I had a blue check, and they immediately responded. They're not responding to me that fast if I don't have a blue check. Farmersonly.com. Then it might be worth it to develop business and if you uh double tap or like someone i think it automatically notifies them interesting double not double tap but um favorite or comment is what i meant to say but if you want to get like an expert on to talk

about like the fingertip rule yeah the fingertip rule is a thing The fingertip rule's a thing. Yeah, I know. Don't they call it tip drill? No. No. No. No, it's definitely a thing. The tweet that I saw for this was a great tweet. The guy just said they caught the Pope in 4K. Yeah.

I really enjoy that. Who actually busted him? I want to know who gets current. Who busted him? Okay. Come on, it's the Pope, guys i think randy just spit water we're gonna lose our catholic contingency and you know they ride hard for us i ride hard for the catholics well mostly mostly what do you mean yeah what i don't know i can't speak to everything about catholicism i'm not Catholic. My mother was raised Catholic. I was raised Catholic.

She's very nice. So I can make the jokes. On Twitter not too long ago, the Pope commented on something political. And someone responded saying, this is very anti-Catholicism. And someone responded, he's literally the Pope. So shut up. All right. I think they said you're not a real catholic or

something like shut up it's the pope dog it's like the it's got to be the pope's social media person team right this is somebody who is who has access to his accounts that just yeah that's the point i was trying to make like he's not he's not just like in between like on his lunch break just like scrolling instagram you know like i like to think that the Pope doesn't even have a phone. Right, right. I doubt it. He doesn't hop on the ground. He's got to write the line, you know?

To God? Yeah. Yeah. That's what they say. That's a good number to have. He'd be in my favorites. Just calling to chit-chat. Am I in any of y'all's favorites?

Yeah. You're in mine. In you're mine i mean all three on your iphone i didn't know you could do that are you serious what are you kidding like on your contacts i don't have i didn't know that either no on your on your phone app you you click and it's got favorites yeah what the hell you're in there dylan are you kidding me i've never in my life have have wow dude tapped on that okay never my Never. Mine goes Dave, Dylan, then Will. Oh, look. Where do you tap?

I got no favorites. Oh, yeah. What the hell, dude? How do you set it? Do you have to set it up or just automatically do it? No, you got to set it up. I mean, why would I set it up? Obviously, it doesn't automatically do it.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It says I don't have any. Yeah. Damn. It saw your playlist and he's like, it saw your playlist on Apple Music. It's like, no, Dylan's got it covered, man. No worries.

Oh, he got this. Dylan's faves are fine. Oh, man. Sorry y'all aren't my favorites, man. Y'all are my favorites. Randy hasn't made it yet, but it's because I haven't updated my favorites since we hired Randy. I like to think that the Pope has some, like, social media intern who, like, just graduated from, like, Arizona State. There's no way.

Arizona State caught some strays last time in The Bachelor. They really did. Harvard took the L, though. Not really. Harvard's going to be fine. Bennett kind of sucks. I agree with T-Man. Dude, save it.

I'm sorry. Save it. Yeah, the Pope, man. It's crazy. It's crazy. But you know what though there's a universe where it is him just double tapping yeah and i'm funny if he's like oh she's got some some backside on her let's go the pope's taking a dump on his like gold throne and he's just like yo well okay does does trump run a hundred percent of his account dude yeah, yeah. You gotta think. I bet he doesn't run his IG.

But do you think he's got... No, he definitely doesn't run his IG. No. No. No way. There's no way. Yeah. But I still don't believe

that he runs his entire Twitter account. I think that he still has, like, somebody that's retweeting stuff, that's finding stuff. He can't sit there reading Twitter that much. Or he can? I don't know. I think he does, man that much. Or he can? I don't know.

I think he does, man. As reckless as he is, I don't think anyone else would have the balls to tweet the stuff that he tweets. No, I think most of his tweets are him, especially ones that are takes or things like that. I won the election. But I do think that somebody just has a phone and they're sitting there bored at lunch and they're like, all right, I'm just going to tweet KEEP AMERICA GREAT in all caps right now. You could be right. But it also would not surprise me at all if it's all Trump.

I have looked at his tweets, like clicked into them to see where they're tweeted from. Because if it's from TweetDeck, then I'm like, oh, that's scheduled. Every one of them is from his iPhone. When he called that guy stupid the other day, like that's Trump. No one else is going to say that about, you know, public. You know, it's just. What is he doing? Do you think that guy beat the shit out of Trump and that's why he fired him and called him stupid?

Yeah. He called him a dope and stupid in the same tweet. Or dumb, maybe. To be fair, John Bolton does. That is his bit. He has one bit and it's let's go to war. So he was kind of right about that. But back to the Pope.

Do you think he'll do a fleet? Maybe. We haven't talked fleet. We're going to talk fleet. He's out here fleeting. We're going to talk fleet. you think he'll do a fleet maybe we haven't talked fleet we're gonna talk fleet he's out here fleeting we're gonna talk fleet do you want to start talking no no no tell me fleetwood that's what they call me i did a fleet yesterday so a lot of people were saying you were the only one as far as i saw it sucked i regret the fleet i did a great fleet it was stella just look at me like all cute shit. You know how I do, Dave. It was thirst trappy.

What? It was my dog. Weren't you in it? Wasn't like your leg in it or something? No. Nothing. Okay. Nothing. You want the fact check on Trump's Twitter? Can we trust the source? USA Today? Maybe. Maybe. There's a guy

named Dan Scavino. White House Director of Social Media. Oh. And usually what happens is Trump is dictating tweets. So Trump will be like, I want this tweeted. And he tells him what he wants tweeted. Or Scavino will be like, oh, did you see this tweet? And Trump will be like, here's my response. So there's a guy on the sticks.

He's got a guy feeding him the rock. Yeah. Or he's feeding him the rock. He's feeding him the rock. So Trump is just out here spitting, and then he says something to somebody, and he's like, oh, tweet that. Yeah, exactly. I wish I had that in my life.

So these people, they're not running it through an editing process? Because there's often mistakes in the tweets. Yeah, it's just your boy. Cofifi? Your boy, Dan Scavino. Dude, how epic was that when he did Cofifi or whatever? Carafe. No, that's me.

He did C-O-V-F-E-F-E or something. Man, can you believe that? He also did the Smokin' tweet. He did a smocking tweet. See, that makes me think that that guy, the guy that's tweeting for him, definitely followed Trill Ballins and knew that he could get some smocking people on board. But if a tweet is sent between 6 p.m. and 10 a.m., chances are it's been written by the president. Love that.

I remember Obama used to sign it like B.O. If he actually wrote it out. Love that. I remember Obama used to sign it like BO. It's tough. If he actually wrote it out. Yeah. And if not, you just assume it was one of his people. Yeah. I think like George Clooney used to do that shit and stuff. Yeah.

Which is a pretty baller way to run your social media. If you were Trump or the Pope, whoever, if you're a major figurehead, would you be running your own social? Yeah. I would probably do what Trump does, honestly. I would probably have a guy who is more in tune with what's going on, and he'd be like, hey, we should probably respond to this, or we should retweet this. You'd have a Canadian from the hype house?

Yeah, but then I would also fire off. I would rapid fire, too. Do you all think Spieth runs his account? Because he's just been getting off some fire tweets. He is the worst follow in sports. They're 100% sponsored. It's so bad. Hashtag ATT athlete.

I guess if I had that Coke money, Coca-Cola money, like I would be like. You got that Coke money player? Yeah. You know what up. I would not want to run my own account or not do Twitter because I know I could potentially ruin that. But come on. Show me some personality one time via Twitter. He has a huge following.

Why are all these people sticking with him and all he does is sponsor shit? I built a long time ago and I'm following him actually. He's a terrible – He's one of the worst professional athlete followers. Makes sense of personality, dog. Might be number one. Makes me appreciate JT. JT will get in there. Mix it up.

Old beady eyes. Pards. Oh, hey, Pards. Hey, Pards. I shout Pards. I spelled it wrong on Twitter once. I said Pards and I roasted just immediately. Yeah, you should call a part of this. Rightfully so. No, I think just...

I'm like, relax, guys. That L is partially in Justin's hands. I knew a dude who called people parts in college, and it felt very condescending. Almost like Chief, like... I don't know. Whip his ass? Might have. Hmm. Whip his ass. Might've.

Okay. You know, this person, you knew this person. I had to say I killed him. Oh, no, I'm kidding.

Seems unnecessary. Oh, you're kidding about that. No, I didn't. I was, I was like, all right,

you say the parts thing. I mean, it sounds fun, but like, are you, are you patting me on the head a little bit here? Hey boop boop boop my brother-in-law calls me boss all the time and i don't i truly don't think he means anything negative by it but every time he does it if he does it in a text message i read it in a bad light every single time and i'm like what's your fucking problem dude i

got one for you pro don't like. You know who ruined pro for me? JP? Yeah, John Peterson. He's not the only one who calls me pro. I think it's a golf guy thing. I know someone not in the golf world who calls guys pro. I don't think he means anything by it. Did you whip his ass? It does sound condescending. No.

No. Hey, pro. You know I'm not a pro. I'm an amateur, dude. That is more condescending than... Yeah, a pro calling like a regular Joe a pro, that's condescending. John Peterson called you a pro. Yeah, he did. Knowing that, of course, the only thing you're pro in is talking into a microphone.

Yeah, I am a pro at that. And I do pro in quotations. That's fair. That's fair. Small to mid-sized pro. That's fair. That's fair. What's small to mid-sized pro? Fair. You know there's only two types of people

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Yeah. If you're not expanding to clean, then get out of here. Bye. Get out of my face. Bye, pro. I got Parks into the Quip game. Yeah? It's my five-year-old son, for those who are unaware.

Oh, yeah. No one knew that. Loves a Quip. Loves a Quip. He looks forward to brushing every night. Well, he's a strawberry boy, right? Yeah, he is. He is.

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I knew you did. I got confused. I didn't want to call you out. I knew you meant that. I looked him up and down because he's currently murdered out, too. He looks like my toothbrush. I look like Dylan's quip. Yeah.

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What's going on over here? What, man? That's your Roth? Before we do that, can I talk about my toe real quick? Oh, yeah. Let's talk about Dylan's toe. Oh, let's talk about making it about Dylan. Thirst trap time.

My toe is currently, my left toe is currently twice the size of my right toe. And that's because I re-broke it. And I say re because on the night of the DeVries wedding in Laguna Beach. You guys hear about this event? Oh, yeah. I went to it, yeah. It was tight. It was in February.

You had Crenshaw there. Gentle Ben. Yeah. Noted Hawkeye. That night, I got back to my nice quaint little bed and breakfast where the roughs were actually staying there as well. And I was drunk, you know. Sue me. Sue me. Sue me.

I drank at a wedding. That's not all you did. What else did you do? I burned a cig somewhere. I didn't have a cig. I probably did. At one point in my wedding, I was like, I wonder if people are smoking cigs right now.

I kind of wanted to just go blow them up and be like, what up? Why didn't I have a cig that night? Anyway, I was getting ready for bed, and I was walking to get in bed, and I smoked my left pinky toe on the bedpost. Smoking? Smoked it. It hurt really bad. I went to sleep and woke up, and it hurt worse the next day

because I wasn't drunk anymore. Definitely broke it. It was purple and swollen and very tender. Broke the shit out of it. It slowly has been coming back. It's been feeling better. It never got back to 100%. It was probably like an 85.

All these months later, again, it's been a while. But there's nothing you can really do for a pinky toe, right? You just got to let it do its thing. Is that why you have limited lateral movement? Anyway, two nights ago? Is it? You can't turn through your backswing? No, that's just my...

Because when I took you to the rag, they crossed you over. It was just embarrassing. Yeah, you know, I've never been very laterally quick. Yeah. It's been the one thing I'm not, athletically, I'm not really, really good at. I've seen your shuttle drill. Yeah. Oh, I was quick back in eighth grade.

I heard about that. The other night, completely sober, by the way, I hadn't had a sip of alcohol. I re-smoked it on the doorframe walking into my bathroom. Oh, your toe? My toe. Oh, okay.

You said you weren't drinking, so I didn't know if you were smoking something. I didn't have any, no THC in my system, no alcohol, nothing. Sober as the day I was born. And I absolutely just rocked it. And I heard it break this time. It was like a

really loud pop. Hey mama, don't rock it. And it hurt much worse than the first time. And so I'm dealing with that. I got plantar fasciitis. I got a broken little toe. I'm a mess. What's your status? If you're an athlete right now, what's your status? I'm out. You're on the IR? I'm on the IR. Remember T.O.

had turf toe? I'm absolutely not going to be able to play. What is turf toe? I guess when you stub your toe on the turf and it hurts real bad. No. When you look down at your toe and it's just growing astroturf. Yeah, it's just green. It's not stubbing your toe on the turf. It's like a ligament thing.

The simplest definition of turf toe is that it's a sprain of the main joint of the big toe. Yeah. One of your... is that it's the sprain of the main joint of the big toe. Yeah. One of your... Stub it on the turf. And now what it is? I think it is, yeah. You can't get it. If you're running on grass, you can't get it.

It's grass toe. Here I am. You can get turf toe on anything. Dale and broke his toe again. Man, I'm in bad shape. I couldn't even take Stella on a walk yesterday. I feel bad. That is such half.

No, you could. Stella texted me and she was like, dude, my dad's lazy as fuck right now. Will you come over? Dave, you should see it. Show it to me. I'm not pulling it out right now. I'll get all the foot freaks watching on YouTube and all that. Dude, get that foot freak sympathy money.

That might help. Donate to them. Start up a GoFundMe. Yeah. I need a little cast for it, like a little baby cast for my pinky toe. Dude, honestly, if cast for my pinky toe. Honestly, if you lost your pinky toe, how much does that affect your balance and stability and stuff? I think balance is what provides most for you. I have my feet stably on the ground right now, and I don't even know if my pinky toes are touching the ground.

I can't even move my left pinky toe. My right one I can wiggle to the side. Left one doesn't move. I can do the opposite. I can wiggle my left. My right one I can wiggle to the side. Left one doesn't move. I can do the opposite. I can wiggle my left. My left one can go like that way. Yeah. I can separate it.

If I lost my right one tomorrow, no problem. I can't do shit with that thing. Yeah. I would sacrifice. If it came down to it and I needed to sacrifice a finger or toe, I'm taking my left pinky toe. Dylan, do you think it's a phalange? What's her name? Is that what a

toe is? Well, it's a specific part of the toe. I'm just curious what part you think is broken. Dave's over there just Googling toe terms. No, I'm not. I don't know if it's a phalange. Did you just ask me if it's a phalange? It's a pinky toe, dude. What do you want from me? What do you want, dog?

My buddy... I hope that translates. Remember my buddy Malone that we played golf with? Yeah, it's unhinged. He used to just stay in high school where he thought it was really funny to try to laugh without smiling. And he would do it and it was really... It's not funny, but it's... We thought it was funny at the time.

Probably, uh... No, it's still funny. Probably drunk thought it was funny at the time. No, it's still funny. Probably drunker than Dylan. No, come on, man. Anyway. Well, man, dude, thoughts and prayers. What do you do for that? Send your T's and P's my way, please, folks.

Nothing, man. You just got to let it chill. Did you ice it? Did you rice it? I iced it hardcore. Did you put it in rice? Oh, I didn't put it in rice, but I did ice it. Parks was very concerned.

What kind of words came out of that mouth when you did it? Did Parks say, you can say that? I yelped a little bit, but I didn't cuss. And he goes, Daddy, what happened? I said, I broke my toe, son. He was very concerned. He probably is telling all of his buddies, all his little cronies, he's probably like, dude, my dad's such a badass. He probably is toe. He probably is like, doesn't, he probably is not even saying that.

He's like, dude, my dad broke his foot and he's fine. Didn't even cry. Hang on, let me see. It's like the kid in my middle, or my elementary school who told me that his dad was so strong that when he got stung by a bee, he could flex his muscle and pop it out. It's like the mosquito thing. I was like, that's so sick. So I do have, I've got what he texted me last night.

I didn't even put two and two together. He said, yo, daddy's crying like a little bitch again. Stuffed his toe or some shit. Man, speaking of parks, he told me a kid in his class lost both his parents to COVID, which sounds awful. I emailed his teacher. I had a concern. It said he was living with his grandparents.

It had a whole backstory to it. And I was like, what's going on here? And she goes, no, I don't think that's accurate. Oh, that's good. And I told Parks, I said, hey, your teacher said that your friend didn't lose his parents. And he goes, he hasn't told her yet. I'm like, okay. Okay, Parks.

No, this kid's just trying to like, he's trying to be the toast of the town right now. Wait, so did he? I am 99% confident that he did not lose even one of his parents to COVID. What's this kid's name? He's Kappen. No Kappen. I probably shouldn't say his name. No, Doc's his kid.

No. But I reached out. I hope it's not true. That's why I reached out to the teacher. Like, can we help this kid over the holidays? That's nice. He's going to be without parents over Christmas and all that. Yeah, a teacher would know, I feel like. Yeah. Like, partially, oh, no. That's a big deal. He's like, be without parents over Christmas and all that. Yeah, a teacher would know, I feel like.

Yeah. Like, partially, oh, no. That's a big deal. He's like, they're keeping it from her. I really hope it's not true. It's also a weird thing to make up. I know kids are weird as fuck. No, but, dude, kids like doing that, man.

Yeah. It's like knee brace girl. Oh, knee brace girl. Knee brace girl. Emily. Yeah, like, she didn't need the knee brace, but she loved the attention that it got her. And this kid took it too far. She twisted it in volleyball practice and had a knee brace the like yeah like she didn't she didn't need the knee brace but she loved the attention that it got her and this kid took it too far she twisted it in volleyball practice and had a knee brace the next two years yeah uh-huh and then she she gets out of the knee brace and everyone's like all right dude our team's gonna be pretty good and then like first back in it

first out first like possession down the court she you just see her tumble it's like yep happened again knee brace girl that's so funny. Every school has one. Dude, everybody. I'm picturing her right now. Dude. I hope she doesn't listen because she knows exactly who she is. There were two days in ninth grade where I had a cane. No.

I had a planter's wart the size of like a half dollar on the bottom of my foot. You opted for a cane? I had to have it. They said, do you want crutches? And I said, can I have a cane? And they're like, yeah. So they gave me a cane. You wanted to do like Pootie Tang events or something, didn't you?

This is pre-Pootie Tang. A movie that we did see in high school and walked out on. Still like one of the only movies I've ever walked out on. But I had to have it laser removed. And it was really, really painful because like the anesthesia shot, I could like feel it in my foot. Probably touching around on the phalanges or something. Oh, yeah.

But, yeah, it was not good. Planter's warts are no joke. Don't get them. Never had one. They were very painful. And the thing about them is – Sidelined my golf career. They're warts for planters.

Yeah. It makes sense that I had one. Like the peanuts? More on that. More on that later, right, Brett? Keep an eye out. No one's doing peanut podcasts. I love it.

I love it. You don't see that anywhere. Well, we're all thinking of your metatarsal. Thank you, David. I appreciate your concern, which is very genuine, I can tell from your face. I'll be okay. Just not going to be the athlete I once was. That sucks you're going to miss leg day.

Yeah. You've never been to one of the first ones. Oh, come on, man. Can we talk about the main headline right now? You guys know it's St. Olaf College? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the mascot there?

Not sure. I feel like it's got to be some type of husky or something, right? Cool story, Hansel. It says, St. Olaf urges students not to kiss while having sex due to COVID-19. Okay. They're going to shut it down now. The COVID, I mean.

They're the Oles, by the way. The St. Olaf, O-L-E-S. Isn't Olaf the little snowman in Frozen? Yeah. It's a great movie, man. The cold never bothered me anyway. What is an ol? Great question, Dave.

You don't know? It says St. Olaf College encouraged students to avoid kissing while having sex to reduce spreading coronavirus, according to a photo provided by the Daily Caller News Foundation. The Minnesota College's flyer also urged students to wear a mask, steer clear of partners with symptoms of COVID-19, and reduce your number of sexual partners, whatever. It's a very progressive school. Are they going to release something about the homies?

Wait, what? You're asking if they don't want you to kiss your friends, your homies? Yeah, if they're going to clarify don't kiss during sex, are they going to clarify if I can kiss my homies when we're out like cracking beers and stuff? What about like kiss fights that break out too? None of that? You know what I mean? Spin the bottle.

This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. If you're going to engage in intercourse with somebody, you're going to get them sick if you're sick. It's going to happen. We don't know that. We don't? What if you do like a different way? Mm-hmm.

What if you're both facing the same way, Dylan? What if there's a barrier between you? Are you talking about doggy style? Glory Hall is what he's, yeah. I'm not familiar with that, but I'm thinking about what it probably entails. Yeah, that's what I was talking about. You do it kind of how dogs do it. That's why it's called that.

Okay. From behind. Okay. So I've heard. Like the Discovery Channel. I've never seen it myself, but that's why I'm here. No one's done that. What a gang.

They were number one on TRL for a little bit. The HG gang. Uh-huh. Wow. The roof is on fire. Remember that one? That song stinks, man. Good one.

Their first one was really good. It wasn't good. It was fine. Are they still together? I bet we could book them for $15,000. Day Rage? Bloodhound Gang? Yeah.

BHG, is that called? Oh, they're not together anymore. Oh, that's a freaking bummer. Let's reunite them. Ooh, for one night only. The Bloodhound Gang. A benefit for Dylan's busted toe. Yeah, they decided to call it quits in 2015 I bet they made some money

They did reissue their vinyl On March 27th of this year And that was called That album was called Hooray for Boobies Ha You know, part of me wants to give this college some credit here. Because a lot of schools are just like, don't link.

Don't build. No gatherings, all this stuff, which isn't really realistic when you're talking college kids. We've already established they're out here mobbing. We know that. Yeah, we literally have callers saying, no, we are mobbing. St. Olaf College knows that no matter what they say, the kids are going to mob. Right? So like, okay, you're going to be having sex. We get it. Just

have a safer version of the sex that you're usually having. I think it's kind of hot just playing like kiss chicken the entire time. They're being smart. You know what? I applaud them. You know what? If they want to be really progressive, they should just hand out gimp suits. Okay. Yeah.

Google it. Come on. You might get served ads for the next week. Oh, yep. Yeah, Brett just learned what a gimp suit was. Go off, Brett. I've heard that before. Oh, there's some funny pictures.

Bodily fluids that aren't select. Can you? We don't know. You're not going to get the right answer here. I can tell you that right now. Can you transmit COVID through you uh we don't know you're not gonna get the right answer here i'll tell you that right now can you transmit covet through sweat i don't think so but i again i talk into a microphone for a living i'm not a scientist i mean you're basically asking if it's sexually transmitted yeah correct yeah yeah i think the bigger issue is the um the vapors that the particles that come from the mouth and not the stuff that might.

Never mind. Okay. Kenya 69. They do say you should use a condom because it is potentially transmitted through. You should do that anyway. I don't think they know that. Use barrier protection like internal or external condoms as well as dental dams. Boy, that is.

I mean, I'm no longer in college and having just like... You don't have any dental dams on hand? I don't have any random... You've got to rename that. If someone hands me a dental dam, I'm like, I don't know what to do with this. Yeah, same. I think I can figure out how to use it. I'd rather go down to the Mansfield.

I'd be like, all right, can I turn the light on real quick? But someone would have to be like, this is what this is. I'm like, oh, that's a dental dam. I'd rather go down to the Mansfield Dam. Come on, dude. Only true like, oh, that's a dental dam. I'd rather go down to the Mansfield Dam. Come on, dude. Only true Austinites will understand that, ref. I don't even understand it.

Story has it there are a lot of people in the concrete. Like who fell? The Mansfield Dam. Yes, and they couldn't stop the pouring because it all had happened

in one. Stop the count. So they just left them in there. Stop the concrete. I don't know if it's true, but that's the count. So they just left them in there. Stop the concrete. I don't know if it's true, but that's the story. That sounds like the Highwaymen song. I was a highwayman. I had it right.

Did you figure out what's on their jerseys? What's on their hockey jerseys? The Oles? That's a great question. I don't know. They're in Northfield fucking Minnesota. I don't know about Northfield, Minnesota. They're the Oles, the St. Olaf fucking Oles.

Okay, I just looked up their hockey jerseys, and all it says on their jerseys is St. Olaf. Literally the worst mascot I've ever seen. Is it a lion? It looks like a... It's the Olays. It's gotta be. It's not the Olays. What is a O? I don Olays. It's gotta be. It's not the Olays.

What is a... Oh! I don't know. It's old dudes. It's like a chupacabra lion looking thing. That's a crescent. That's like a... A crescent.

It's a lion that hasn't eaten in like forever. Hungry. I just... I looked up dental dams and there's some... There's some pictures. Old Bennett looking ass. I see him like... Do people use dental dams, and there's some pictures. Old Bennett-looking ass. I see him like, do people use dental dams? Is that a thing that happens?

Again, I don't know that I've ever seen one in the wild. Have you ever seen one in Walgreens? I don't even know, honestly. I haven't, now that you bring it up. I always thought it was a joke. I mean, why is that what it's called? We would have bought that in high school and, like, planted it on our buddy or something. You know what I mean?

Like, put it in his laundry basket so his mom got mad at him. Like. But. Michael, is this your dental dam? That's how the mom would sound. You see the guys that take a water bottle and tape it to, like, a big dildo and put it in your luggage before you go to security at the airport. So they, like, find the water bottle, like, hey, what's going on with this? Big dildo. Do you remember when I did that with that loaded pistol in your bag?

That was not cool, man. I couldn't go on that trip. I had to go to jail instead. Yeah. Thanks for that. A very popular show had that happen. What show? I'm not going to spoil it for anybody.

The Crown? No. It's on FX. Justified? Didn't I? A Cowboys coach, Barry Switzer. Barry Switzer. Yeah. That's on FX. Justified? Didn't I? A Cowboys coach, Barry Switzer. Barry Switzer. Yeah.

That's right. I hate when that happens. I hate when my loaded gun gets in my luggage. How'd that get there? I don't know, coach. Tell us. Lee Chatfield looking ass. Michigan representative.

Typical student. Oh, shit. I forgot about that. Did he win? He wasn't. Probably, dude. Who knows. I forgot about that. Did he win? He wasn't. Probably, dude. Who knows? I don't know.

What are you looking at me for? I don't fucking know. So what's an O? Yeah, you really... It's a lion. It's a fucking lion. I don't know. That's interesting

because I've watched a lot of stuff about lions and never heard that. I hope the St. Olaf listeners come after you for saying it's a lion. Where is this school? Minnesota.

Northfield, Minnesota. A land of 10,000 lakes, eh? Some say. How many lakes are in Minnesota? 10,000 exactly. Are they all man-made? There's 11,842. We should make a lake. Since they're all man-made

anyway. We're men. Oh, it's a thirst trap come on dude it's really weird it's still weird to me that like there's just no man-made or there's only man-made lakes in Texas

except for one yeah it's weird but like just changing anything to what's the best way to put this

you got this top? You got this. Topography. You got this, dude. Yeah, just like doing anything will technically make it man-made. Like Lake Austin, they just put up a dam. And they're like, okay, this is a man-made lake. It's like they dug it out. It's just the Colorado River.

They just dammed it. You know what I'm saying? It's not like they dug it out. Like, oh, we got a lake here now. They just used Tannerite. Buying property. They just put a bunch of Tannerite and Yetis in the's just a river god you know what i'm saying you know what i'm saying it's like it was people aren't there with shovels and shit like let's make a lake

yes we know somebody went out there with shovels made a lake i'm sure it happened you can dig up a lake i changed a river in montana once or in plant yeah i blew up i blew up the side of a mountain did you really yeah it was pretty cool damn time yeah we were trying to fuck over these I changed a river in Montana once. Or in Plum. Yeah. You did it with shovels? I blew up the side of a mountain. Did you really? Yeah, it was pretty cool. Damn. Yeah, we were trying to fuck over these other guys. I didn't know you had that kind of pool in Montana.

Yeah, yeah, I swear. They had, like, heavy-duty equipment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not just, like, shovels. They used caterpillars. Okay. That makes a lot more sense. Because front of the program. You're saying it is late it is their ranch that brett is for a second i thought like

that they did it with shovels and i was like that took that took two years these machines yeah they had a pretty sweet bmx park for a minute oh that's tight how do you ever wanted how do you fill up a lake like that hose you let? You let the rain do it, probably. Really? Probably. What if you can't stand the rain? You definitely don't let the rain do it. I have a wedding day in the rain.

You don't let the rain do it. There's no way. Why not? You can't. There's not much. Do you know how much rain you would have to have? You could probably figure it out. It's not like one little shower is going to do it.

I get that. But it holds water. You can't just start a hose. You're convinced you is going to do it. I get that. But, like, it holds water. You can't just start a hose. You're convinced you're going to get a bunch of rain. Yeah, throw the hose back in there. Dude, that was the worst. We had a pool put in. My parents did.

And, like, the night, like, it was all ready. And then the night before, like, they just dropped the hose in, turned it on. I'm, like, sitting there, like, all right, let's go. Let's do it. And I'm just watching it. And I'm like, okay, it's, like, two feet high. Can I get in? They're like, no, you can't get in.

I just watched it all night. Yeah, you have to. How long did that take? I did rollerblade in it. That's tight. That's cool. You're such a badass. I wouldn't have let my kid do that.

I don't think I have permission. Yeah. Scuff it up. The thing about me is I don't give a fuck. That is the thing about us. Everyone does know that. I didn't know that about you. How do they fill up Lake Austin?

It's a river, man. It's a Colorado river. You're saying a river runs through it? I mean, sure, yeah. Why do people get all horned up for calling it Lady Bird Lake? Isn't it just a river? Is that the Colorado River? Lake Travis, Lake Austin, Lady Bird Lake

are all the Colorado River. Right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I will refer to them as such. Just separated by dams. There's the Tom Miller Dam, the Mansfield Dam.

Probably another one out there. I don't know. Okay. What else? What else we got? Still don't know. Okay. What else? What else we got? Still don't know what an O is. Yeah. It looks like a...

I mean, it's a fucking lion. I don't know. Whatever. Hat tip to St. Olaf College, though. Yeah, shouts. Guys are... Yeah, you know. You're being a little bit more realistic.

A tip of the cap. They have a football team, too. You know that? That makes sense. They are a college. Just because they're in Minnesota is why I jumped off. They have a football team, too. You know that? That makes sense. They are a college. Just because they're in Minnesota is why. It's pronounced O-lees. The college I graduated from does not have a football team.

The O-lees. Look at their Wikipedia. They sell shirts that say, still undefeated. Get it? Yeah, it's kind of sad, though. Yeah. Like, imagine printing that shirt just being like, yeah, we're making jokes about our lack of a football team. Fun.

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Twice a day, no more. Just two multivitamins. We're printing that t-shirt soon. We've been taking it for months now, really. Right? It feels like forever. Yeah. This ritual is one of my rituals.

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It's directed at everyone. Okay. He said me, though. I know. That's why I threw me off. I get right at first refusal. Which literary character... Oh, let's go.

Let's go....written by author F. Scott Fitzgerald briefly attended St. Olaf? Holden Caulfield? No, I'm not even going to... Name a character. That's J.D. Salinger. I'll allow you to amend your answer. I won't embarrass myself by even venturing...

No, no, no. Just think of any character from a book. I'm not. I'm not. Craig Gatsby? Randy, you bitch. What are you doing? You ruined the segment.

What did he do? Why did you look at me? I wanted to hear Brett's. I was going to guess... Did he say it? I was wrong. I like... He wasn't even...

He gave me a little nod, and then... You silly freak. I mouthed it, and I didn't see what me a little nod and then. Silly freak. And he mouthed it and I didn't see what he mouthed. And then I gave him the nod like. Jay Gatsby. I need you to do that again. Yes, the answer is Jay Gatsby.

Thanks. Segment over. Sorry, I didn't even know. Wow, Randy. I didn't even name an F. Scott Fitzgerald character. No, I didn't. I didn't know that, though. I assumed it was because you're more of like a literature guy than I am.

The name of the character. Just call him a dork. You just call him a dork. Just call him a dork. That's what your base is. No, the name in This Side of Paradise, I'm having trouble placing his name. It's going to kill me right now. Eddie Money. Maybe it was Eddie Money.

Yeah, This Side of Paradise was always Eddie Money. This Side of Paradise. This is going to piss me off. What's his name? I was going to go with Gordon Lightfoot, but that wasn't going to be correct either. Very cool. Oh, man. Did you know that or did you look it up?

Oh, so you saw that fun fact as well. You are right. It's pronounced O-lees, which is even worse. Go O-lees. Someone listening has a friend or family member or they went to the school. And they can tell us. Amory Blaine. God bless it.

What is that from? This Side of Paradise. Good book. Good book. Highly recommend. A little boring sometimes, but good book. Can we talk about Fleet? Oh, Fleet, Fleet.

Motherfucker. That's not good. See, I did like the skeet skeet from that yin-yang twing. Dude, you're the only person to think of that, bro. Yeah, no one's done that. Okay, Mr. Call-Me-Fleetwood-Mac. Shut up, David. I said Tommy Fleetwood.

No, I have not seen the Tommy Fleetwood. You said Tommy Fleetwood earlier. That's what I was trying to say, and this jerk doesn't respect it. What is this? These are stupid somebody tweeted snapchat blew a 3-1 lead and i don't really i mean they kind of did if you're gonna if you're gonna just steal obvious ideas from other social media platforms there's obviously instagram stories which is the snapchat disappearing whatever why is it taking them so long to do it

is there some kind of like uh of expiration of a copyright situation? I don't know how this works. They're too busy fact-checking tweets. Jack said they're not a publisher. We've been doing stories for a minute now on Instagram. Am I wrong? I've been getting stories off for a long time. I actually remember the first story I ever got off.

It was from the PGP account. I like stories. At first I was a little bit like, I don't need this, and now it's fine. They're like your B and C level posts. I don't want to let this hit the main feed. For a lot of people, it's like they don't even know stories exist because they still just post them as standalone posts.

And it's like, this was a story at best. Yeah. I mean, Snapchat had stories before IG. Correct. Yeah. Remember those days, right? I don't need to be posting stories on Twitter, though. I have not fleeted yet.

I might protest fleeting. You know Facebook has stories as well. Yeah, no one cares. I'll say this. If you put a Facebook story up, you're just a... Does Parler have stories? Not sure. What about Peach?

Peach might have stories now. I'm big on Peach still. What was your first fleet, Dylan? It was still looking hella cute, looking up at me on the couch, man. I had the ability to fleet yesterday, and instead of fleeting, I just put it on Instagram stories where it gets more visibility. I was pretty ground floor fleet, to be honest. I think I was the first person ever to fleet, actually. I don't know if you were.

You can't prove otherwise. To be fair, you were actually the first person to fleet on my TL. Mine too. There it is. I even... I saw it on Seniors. I believe it disappeared. It's 24 hours, just like Instagram.

It's because you muted him. No, you didn't. It's embarrassing, unfortunately. I'm pretty sure Dave has never retweeted me, though, like ever. How do you guys feel about the new Instagram layout? I don't like it. It's completely scrambled my brain. I don't like it.

Because we talk about the thumb power position. What do we call it? The thumb zone. The thumb zone. Sorry, I don't know why I yelled that from a weird position. You're really excited about the thumb power position. My thumb is hovering right above the shop icon. That's not...

I get it, but that's not why people go to Instagram. It's terrible. The new... It's terrible. That's not why you go to Instagram. I don't have the Facebook app because it probably listens to you, but someone said it's just turning into Facebook. I just want to double-tap my friends getting dope vacation pics off and shit.

The reason I liked Instagram is because all it was was just photos and shit. And now I like stories. Don't get me wrong. I love stories and I like swiping up. But I don't like this new format. The thumb reach is too much. And you can't even – I really enjoy just being able to tap the top corner, swipe up, load up a story, and be done. Now you have to click like five different times.

What is that, bottom center? Is that reels? Why don't you just swipe left? Yeah, bottom center. It's reels. No one goes to reels. No one's like, oh, I need to get my reels in, babe. What's going on with the reels today?

No one's doing that. Fucking waste of time. Would you rather post a fleet or a reel? I've never done a reel. A fleet. Because I'm a real one. R-E-E. No.

That wasn't great. And we had some. I don't know. Hit me with the bangs. I did the hand motion. Yeah, no, it's not. Don't. No, that wasn't bangable.

Hit me with the bangs soon. I can't believe I've never retweeted you. I'm pretty sure you've never retweeted me. I've definitely retweeted you. I really don't think you have. I don't know if you have. Not even like a promotional one. No, there's a great chance I went back and've never retweeted you i'm pretty sure you've never i've definitely retweeted you i really don't think you have i don't know if you have like not even like no there's a great chance i went back and unretweeted it yeah you have to you can't have that on your timeline no you can't have your friend dylan and also your partner your business partner on your time i'm a partner yeah i'm your partner we're partners oh we need to talk what's

up parts hey parts hey parts don't joke like that don't joke like that Don't joke like that. Don't joke like that. Don't joke like that. Oh. Yeah, Instagram. I don't know. That's what he sounded like. What are you doing? What are you doing?

It's bad, dude. I'm more into fleets, even though I'm protesting them and I will never fleet. You're going to fleet. No, I'm not going to fleet. You're going to fleet. I'm not going to fleet. You're going to fleet. I'm not going to fleet. I'll just fleet right now.

You're going to fleet. Not going to do it. You're going to fleet. Why? I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Fuck fleet, dude. Fuck fleet.

That's it. You're going to fleet. Why? I'm not doing it. Fuck fleet, dude. Fuck fleet. That's it. What if we just do a sponsor thing for fleet? Like you throw up a, I don't know, a quip story on fleet? I will put up paid fleets only. Okay. Do I get special fleet privileges because I'm verified? Kind of like Instagram, you have 10K, you get to do swipe shit and all that. That's a good question.

Can you see who looks at it yes you can see the numbers it would appear that but I think it's just in chronological order of who viewed it so I can top your top dogs aren't up top like on Instagram but does it tell you does it tell you how many people saw yes do more did more people see your fleet than see your Instagram story it was about even inter I get about 7,500 views on my stories. You do? Uh-huh.

Wow. Pretty good numbers. I only get that if I'm on vacation. They're all hoping that there's a you with your leg propped up on the vanity or whatever it was at one time. Looking for a thirst trap. Horny, horny. What was that?

That was the horniest post that Dylan's ever had. No, it wasn't. I bought some long underwear, and I was like, why did I buy these? I live in Texas. Right. It was stupid. I was like, what? Your other underwear wasn't long enough.

But they were long johns. Whatever. Check your notice when you get a chance. You don't have to. Did you hit him with the retweet? I might have. I found one of your better tweets. What?

Come on, man. That's not a good tweet. I just said bet. That's a pretty good tweet. Get out of here, dude. It's not as less as more. It's a good tweet. David, it's a good tweet.

Over, under two minutes before you un-retweeted. No. Can we do this? We can have fun. It's time. It's time. This episode is flying, man flying man dude it's flying dylan start us off oh boy where to even start um i don't know you're probably doing nothing i have

parks friday and saturday um don't have plans yet and with the whole covet thing on the on the upswing i don't know if we're gonna step out much but're going to do something fun i don't know what it's going to be quite yet dino park uh there's only so many so many times i can go to that damn time you might have exhausted text him and be like hey your dad's talking about taking to the dino park this weekend oh you just eye roll emoji dave are you crying right now no i just yawned it looks like you're crying it's gonna be okay we'll get through this. Honestly, I have nothing. And I'll probably just hang out at the house. I'm kind of scared of COVID right now, honestly. I am too.

Texas did hit an all-time high yesterday. Yeah. Just FYI. And so we're just going to chill Friday, Saturday. We're going to watch some football, of course. And Sunday I don't have parks, unfortunately. Again, I'll be watching football probably. I won't be doing much.

So that's it man nothing nothing cool at all what's usually something like my best weekends wow i don't do anything why don't you like work on your swing or something nah i'm fine okay i don't really you know i don't really care enough to be like awesome at golf until i go fix it i have this conversation with lauren like weekly she was like for christmas do you want like a lesson or something and i was like i don't need a lesson i wish you had or something? And I was like, I don't need a fucking lesson. I wish you had Lauren's mentality. Lauren's like,

why don't you practice? I'm like, well, it's not really a priority for me to be good at golf. I could rather hang out with Parks and shit, you know?

Why can't you both be good at golf? Why don't you get him into it? He's fine. I would love for him to get into it. That would get me more into it. Okay.

But he has shown no interest so far, unfortunately. Grow the game. You gotta force it on him. Yeah, make him. Get out there. Go grab your sticks.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I guess I'm taking Parks to the course this weekend. Yeah, you've got to. What I want to do is I want to take him golfing with me. You can bring Stella. I want to let him ride in the cart and just see what it's all about.

Not even force him to swing a stick. You could put them in a little Yeti. I could just put them on the seat next to it. Yeah, I know. We just say the Yeti is an option. He's a human. Right. Just see how he likes it. Why are people

favoriting the retweet of the bet? It's a good tweet, dude. Anyway, what's up with you this weekend, Dave? I don't know I like how into Brett Or into golf Brett is right now I heard Brett I was eating lunch in here And I heard Brett talking to Will

About flattening his swing out or something Or being more vertical Well, getting rid of his baseball swing Dylan and I have baseball guy swing And so there's a drill that Dylan You have it more than Dylan. Well, watch Dylan's right elbow at the top of his swing.

Wow, dude. Is that baseball guy? That's baseball guy. Okay. If that right elbow pops... Freddy Couples. It's doable, but, man, does it cause inconsistencies. So I've been working on keeping that right elbow down.

Tucking it. He's the lag daddy these days. You see the swing, Will? Remember the lag daddy? I remember lag daddy. He's the lag daddy these days. You see the swing wheel? Remember the lag daddy? I remember lag daddy. You're a lag daddy. Me? Randy retweeted that tweet too.

He's only got 28 followers though, so it doesn't really matter. I'm just kidding, Randy. Are you verified? Dude's not verified. I don't know what I'm doing. I've got no plans. I would like to do something with golf.

Someone texted me, and that might be what this is about. Damn it. Oh, I just got a Friday invite. You're going to hate it. I don't want to say it. I don't want to name drop, but it's at a very good course. I'm going to see how many we can get on. I'm sorry, man.

This is real time. This is real life, this weekend, and fun. What day? It's from our guy. Oh. Let's fucking go. Retuitous. But yeah, man.

Nothing major unless I'm overlooking it. I'm trying to lay low. Got Thanksgiving coming up You got any pimento cheese left over David? I do have some You want me to bring it tomorrow? You gotta eat that quick I'll bring the egg salad too

Yeah I don't know I'm sorry I'm laying low because for all the reasons y'all just outlined And I want to go home for Thanksgiving I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm laying low because for all the reasons y'all just outlined, and I want to go home for Thanksgiving, I don't know if that's going to happen. We shall see. It's Thanksgiving next week. It is.

Sneaking up. Yeah. Uncertain times. Yep. What are you doing, Brett? I don't mean to throw you guys under the bus here, but I'm going to be grinding this weekend. Wow.

Because keep an eye out for next, ideally next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. There's going to be some things popping on the Washed Media social channels, perhaps a new website, perhaps a new store. I don't know. Just saying. So I'll be spending my weekend probably making sure that's ready to go. Where are you going to post up? The crib or what?

Either my crib or the barley bean outside. It's probably going to be like work in the morning, golf in the afternoon, if not actual golf, the range. I'll stay away from the patio bars this weekend. Just lay low. I want to get a pizza off from somewhere. I haven't had pizza off from somewhere. I haven't had pizza in a minute. How would that work exactly?

Your boy's absolutely getting a pizza off this weekend. Some ranch drizzle? Oh, come on. Yeah. Too far. I don't know. I want to try something new. I might do Fantasma.

It's fantastic. Okay. It is. Yeah, I'll do a pizza from somewhere. Pizza, work, and golf. I just put it on a T-shirt. Dude, golf is life. The rest is just details.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, I'm in the same boat as Brett. I'm not doing shit. I got a lot of shit to do. Yeah, it turns out when you take a week off, you come back to a shitstorm. Yeah, I got some catching up to do.

Got some new stuff coming on Sunday. Maybe check the website for details. Actually, just be on the social feeds. I'm going to be spamming everybody with some new information regarding some candles on Sunday. Will you do a fleet or not? Might do a fleet. Might do a fleet. You were anti-fleet 10 minutes ago.

Yeah, I'm not doing a fucking fleet, dude. Fleets are for dorks. But, yeah, I'm waking up, watching soccer, chilling. International break's over, Dylan. You're very aware of that. fleet, dude. Fleets are for dorks. But yeah, I'm watching, I'm waking up, watching soccer, chilling. International break's over, Dylan. You're very aware of that. Oh yeah, it's a real bummer. Well, it's not over today,

but it's going to be over this weekend, so. It's going to be a real bummer. When is La Liga over? Like May. Dave really likes saying La Liga. Why do you like

saying La Liga so much? It just sounds like the most fun. Yeah, there's not much in the hopper, and that's intentional. Well, I want to stay safe La Liga. Why do you like saying La Liga so much? It just sounds like the most fun. Yeah. There's not much in the hopper, and that's intentional. Well, I want to stay safe before all Thanksgiving comes. Who's calling? What's going on?

God, this is the guy next door. The guy next door is loud as hell. Oh, is it really? He's fucking pouring out some subcontractors. No, it wasn't me, Dylan. Fucking idiot. He's wearing somebody out. Brett, do you have any breaking news for us?

Well, as a matter of fact, I do. Thank you for asking. Dylan, you usually get these, so I'll just keep it going. Would you like to go Christmas trees, private islands, or performance enhancers? I love all these things. Let's start with Christmas trees. Christmas trees. Randy, would you assist?

Randy's like, oh, did I get a slack 10 minutes ago? Yep. The Rockefeller Christmas tree has been put up. Dylan, would you rate this tree? Dude, what? Yeah. What is the rest of it? Well, when they cut it down, it looked great.

And they just put it up, and it appears to be dying. Did they just have a bunch of dudes drag it from the forest to New York City? This is like going to Dog Pound and picking out the ugliest one. You just feel bad for it. Yeah. It looked good initially, but man. Which he needs a home, too. I get it.

That's not what I'm saying. You can't put up a... I mean, somebody said, oh, 2020, am I right? Yeah. That's objectively a really bad tree. Yeah, E! Online or whatever, someone was just like, oh, this tree is peak 2020. Shut up. Fuck you, E.

Whoa. Sorry. Yeah. I don't like E. Yeah, I agree. If you're in this situation, do you have the world's largest bonfire and then go for a new one? Why don't they go to the Dax? Go to the Adirondacks and grab a fucking awesome tree.

The Dax. No one's doing the Dax. Literally so many movies. You ever seen the tree in rockefeller center dylan um i have been there but it wasn't over christmas time so no they put like i call it rocca smeller because this tree stinks they put a fuck ton of lights on this thing it's like a you yeah i know how i know i've seen i've also seen Home Alone 2. They should go to California and get a Redwood.

That'd be tight. I'm sick with that bitch. Chop that bitch down and put it up in New York. The shipping would be to get a fucking Redwood. Have you seen the diameter on those things? The girth? Yeah. I've stood next to one.

You can hold hands with many people and wrap around it. I've never actually seen one, but I've seen illustrations. Never been to Moira Woods, dog? Come on. No. How far is that from Napa? It's like way closer. I think it's far closer to San Francisco.

If you drive from San Francisco to Napa, it's just a little bit off the path. The Redwoods? You have to make a reservation these days, so you can't just show up. What if you parachute in? They can't stop you. True. Are we dropping, boys? With a pistol?

Oh, dude, hold on. Someone's shooting me. Yeah, getting a parachute caught in a red would be a real predicament. I'm in a real pickle here. How tall are they? Tall. Like 12 feet. They're short.

Definitely taller than 12. They're like 100 feet. They're big boys. I think they're like 300 feet. Aren't they? No. Sequoias? They're not 300 feet, dude. bet they are you know how tall oh you feel like a dumbass right now are you the height guy i don't do trees only people 300 to 350 feet no shit damn that's up there up to 375 that's a football field dude fuck that's tall. Yes. It's going down. I'm yelling timber.

What about Randy's timber? That'll be the first song I want to hear when I go back to Mars. You guys want to do ugly sweater rejected ideas? I don't know if that one's rejected quite yet.

I still love it. No, we need to make the ones first. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, we can't talk about our reject pile before the regular ones

are released. We might need to get Randy and Mike for the reject pile discussion. He was on fire during our brainstorm. He was just firing from the hip with ideas. It was so good. I've never laughed more in a meeting than Randy just firing off ideas yesterday. I loved it.

Oh, my gosh. Will, you're a fan of Private Islands, right? Very much, except one. Which one? Which one? Jeffrey Epstein's. Oh. Your favorite one is that one in the Bahamas where we saw the Chainsmokers perform.

Precisely, yeah. Yeah. Someone asked me where we went on that cruise, and I was like, I actually don't know. Like, what countries did we go to? It was in the Bahamas. I have no clue. I don't know. Yeah.

Well, these aren't exactly private, but they're in the same vein. In Barbados news, a sum of $2,000 can buy you a welcome stamp to work remotely for a year on an island deemed a tax haven. So if you have two Gs, you can just go to Barbados and post up. I'm sticking with Cyprus. It's going to be tax-free. You can also go to the Caymans, and if you earn at least $100,000, you can put a deposit of $1,469 in return for a two-year visa. So I'm just saying if we want to go to a private island and work, we can do that. It's because of COVID.

Okay. Let's go. It's basically what they're doing is they're getting you in the door. So when you start earning later, they're like, oh, yeah, we'll take your tax. It's like an associate membership, a junior membership. Exactly. Offer you that introductory rate, and then they jack it up on you. They what?

They performance enhancers, Dave? We have a listener who spent some time in Cyprus. He reached out to me. He's a guy I know from college, actually. Really? Like the island? State department. Not to name drop. He's a guy I know from college, actually. Really? Like the island? State Department.

Not to name drop. That's who he worked for. Performance enhancers. What's up with them? Yeah. Robbie Cano. Really? Suspended for the 2021 season after he tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. He will forfeit his entire salary and be suspended for 162 games.

I don't care. This happened before with him, didn't it? Yeah. If he's getting popped for the whole fantasy season, it's got to be two or three. It sounds familiar. I was always a big Robinson Cano fan. He was on my fantasy team. I love his swing, man. Do you guys want to do fantasy baseball next year?

Nope. You sure? Yep. Let's do it. I'll send you an invite. Okay. Cool. Is that it for the day? Do we know which drug? Unclear.

Unclear. PEDs of some sort. Vitamin S. Steroids. What's vitamin S? Or a deer antler spray. Shit. Grown antlers.

He's trying to put his helmet on. He's like, I can't do it. It's clanking around. Oh, damn. that's all I got let's get the hell out of here I want to talk Batch bye bye