Circling Back - Hybrid Sheep & Cocky Celsius Sips

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

We've got Dave in the studio just being COCKY with his Celsius. We talk our Weekends in Fun, the Montana man who's making giant hybrid sheep, RIP Risotto, a possible Buckingham Palace announcement, and our first-ever Goon of the Week. Bit Madness: https://tinyurl.com/bitmadness24 If you're getting an error following the link, open in an incognito window (or sign out of one of your Google accounts) PROVIDE YOUR EMAIL OR SOCIAL HANDLE! We need to be able to contact you if you win Fill out your bracket Take a screenshot Password: backer20 Accepting brackets until the 20th (11:59pm the 19th) Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:45) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (37:20) This Dude in Montana Creating Giant Hybrid Sheep (46:30) RIP Risotto (55:30) Supposed to get an announcement from Buckingham Palace today (1:00:00) Goon of the Week Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) Nutrafol: www.nutrafol.com (CIRCLING for $15 off) Factor: https://factormeals.com/backer50 (code backer50 for 50% off) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast washed media hq in austin texas my name is will defries to my left david ruff i just glanced at twitter and our friend of the show james has a funny tweet and you can't see it because he's private but can i read it to you is it mega horny nope it's just it's funny it says only talking in my sketch voice for this therapy session what's's Sketch Voice? I don't know. Maybe Randy can help us with that. Yeah, he's a streamer on Twitch and it's an interesting character the guy does. You'll have to just look it up. Okay, that was unsatisfying, Randy.

I thought you were gonna do an impression. I thought you were gonna wow us on a Monday morning. I'm not familiar with his game enough to do an impression on this. So this is not James. James. Not a streamer. Oh, Dave. They've do you pass and you just fumbled it out about yeah I'm not I didn't read the coverage He put he pump fake to lose the defender and then he just hung with him and swatted him into the fucking third row He cut front room and that's it. I don't in the flat. Also, if you look up this sketch guy on

Twitch you understand why i don't want to do an impression of him because it could uh you can tread bad really quickly dylan shivery ladies and gentlemen i don't know how to follow that up but i'm gonna do my best i'm just trying to stop the bleeding with cancel randy i'm so happy to be here uh it's it's newsletter week for those who are unaware and for those who celebrate uh i celebrate um what does that mean for podcast big time stuff going on in the newsletter uh world this week this is a tease what does that mean for podcast week though it's not podcast week will okay what does it mean for what am i doing here that's that's a different week dude i don't know okay i'll explain it to

y'all after the show but hey just just get ready it. You're looking mega comfy in that Robeck hoodie. Okay, so Robeck, they redid. This is not an ad. I'm just going to talk about it. Fuck yeah. They redid the fabric of these hoodies. Okay. It's called like V-soft fabric now.

What's V-soft? It's trademark. Guess what? It's V-soft. Right. I just said that. I don't have a shirt on under this. I'm going straight to the skin on this. That's a's that's a post shower at like 5 p.m move that's

not a that's not a first thing monday morning hey will i don't know if you knew this about me but i kind of play by my own rules so maybe you just mind your business how about that backer 20 will get you 20 off at checkout why do people ever say mind your own beeswax that was real annoying as a kid what the fuck what are you talking about yeah that was annoying who's who's starting that i don't know why but as a little kid i hated the word hilarious i don't know i just thought it was like a lame way to describe something being funny oh man that's hilarious i like to shorten it to hilaire dude that's really good i know you should we should delete this part so other people don't do that,

and it's your thing. Yeah. That's so Hilaire. It's a short version. Toss it back to Randy, see what he's got. Randy, what you got? Hey, Randy. Brett tried telling me spilt wasn't a word today.

Yeah, that was a misword. What the hell is Brett talking about? That was a tough conversation to overhear while I was thinking about something else. I don't like when people use that word. I noticed Randy has – you're rocking the headphones purposely tight. Is it because Will called you out for how poofy you were today? Dude, major Scott Conn energy coming from Randy today.

It's because I have a very small head and they're always this tight. You were hella poofy. Randy has – he's got the poofiest hair going right now. It's like he's going to go get measured for his new state ID or something. Who are you? It's poofy. Yeah. Why are you all poofed?

You don't need to get that much poof in your hair. Because I got a haircut on Tuesday... On Friday. Haircut makes you extra poofy. This is a new haircut? This is a new... I mean, it's the same haircut I always get, but it's just on Friday.

Did you tell him you just needed a couple inches on top? What? Yeah, sure. Not non-chief. I'm in the fucking fucking zone i don't know about you sometimes oh man there's a certain coffee truck near our office who i'm starting to have some major issues with in terms of their coffee what's the coffee truck you know it might they might also serve bagels as well what is this place doing like i respect this place i think they've got some of the best bagel sandwiches in town i've been very happy with the food but whenever i get a coffee

from this place something goes awry like you order when they're closed like so we we already know the ordering system might need some some help it might need some bumpers here to make sure that you're not uh ordering coffee during off hours david well today i went over and got an i asked for an iced americano do you order it via uh the internet or in person in person okay they said yeah he comes around and any time that you don't have the coffee in your hand and they start asking you questions about the coffee you know that you're about to get just put through it and he says hey i forgot the owner just ran out to get some more ice and i was like okay because do you is it cool if i just pour these shots of espresso and some

water that's been in the fridge overnight i was like i don't think that works if the coffee's free maybe yeah that i was like yeah that's fine yeah no that's fine. Yeah, no, that's fine. Did one of those. He gives it to me, and he gives me like a giant just cup of pure diesel fuel. You can tell this is some potent stuff. But there's no ice in it. And there's something unsettling about drinking. I don't like drinking that with no ice in it. Was the water, it was chilled, though. It was chilled.

It was chilled. Had to come over here, and we've got one of the shittiest ice machines you could possibly have in a refrigerator right now. Very true. Also, our tap water stinks, as in it actually smells bad. Yeah, so I just had to fashion it over here in a wash media pint glass. And it's just not how you want to start your Monday morning. It's not hitting.

Yeah. So they've got a couple more strikes for me before i really call them out for the sports heads out there damn but they're on notice right now okay i'm not going to name them because i do want them to thrive and and uh improve they make a damn fine bagel that's the thing do you remember when we tried to get a sandwich from that place down the way that's actually now like one of the best sandwiches in austin in my opinion but they ran out of bread. And they're like, oh, they just opened. Owner's out getting bread. It's a pretty key ingredient in a sandwich.

No, but it's not a good sign when they say the owner's out getting more bread. It's a good sign if they're like, we ran out of bread. We got to make more. If they're making more, that means they're grinding and that they have popular sandwiches because they got fire bread. If you're just out of bread, that means you're lazy. The year is 2001. You walk into your job at Subway.

You just skateboarded to work. You walk in and you see your boss, and she looks at you and says, we have no bread. We're out of bread. Somebody, whoever closed that floor, did not make the bread. So they were making bread. I think that's going to be a problem considering we're Subway sandwiches.

I never worked in the food industry. You make the bread at closing time? Yeah, I think so. You don't just leave the oven going as you lock the doors. No, no, no. If I recall, you start making it at night before you leave. You prep it. You prep the bread. So it's like frozen. You need to make the dough and all You prep it. You prep the bread. Prep. So it's like frozen.

You need to make the dough and all that stuff. You bake in the morning. Yeah. Right. Got it. Got it. You wake and bake, dog? Fuck yeah, dude.

And then weeks later, I'm conveniently left off the schedule. Why can no one give me an answer as to how they bake the 12-foot party sub bread? Is there a big-ass oven? Is there an oven that just puts it through slowly and starts rising like i just i haven't gotten a real answer yet i kind of don't want to know just i like the mystery they bring in the party oven is it several small loaves that are built into other how do you do that things like what's the deal here that's what they did jimmy johns just smaller subs all set up maybe that that toaster conveyor belt they just keep running it back and forth through that thing um no i mean no that's that's a viable option for me

i don't think it's the option but it's a viable one they actually tie it together like a balloon animal okay so you have like four real answers here should i be annoyed that when fritz got a balloon animal from the balloon guy at matzah rancho the other night uh he didn't get an animal he just got a balloon with spider-man's face on it and i was like you know he's happy with this but also i was kind of expecting you to like build an animal here and kind of knock my socks off you wanted him to you want to blow his little mind i wanted to make spider-man yeah like use the spider-man balloon with his face on it as the head of spider-man just one balloon yeah one he just he just hit that thing

with some some healy and called it a day he's like oh finally a kid wants a spider-man i just got to use this one balloon i have exactly i get to take i get to take some reps off that dude he's just in it for the for the love of the game he is i kind of respect it what dude what are you looking at dave someone's got an actual gong outside. Are you hearing the metal? Nope. Not these headphones. There's been a lot of gong slander, and here's the thing. We don't need to use the gong anymore on Circling Back.

In fact, I might actually bar us from using the gong on Circling Back. It's so high-pitched. No, don't worry about it, dude. It's a mini gong. It can't generate. One more time. It can't generate some kind of low boom. It's giving bell one

more time for a tribute to the gong no don't do it they don't the backers don't deserve it there's been slander towards this gong hey hey backers this is the last time you'll ever see this gong oh i don't like the slander toward the gong oh we heard it no i felt that wasn't it ringing i'll edit that out yeah there's allegations out there this gong is giving symbol, and I just simply don't appreciate it. It's okay. It's not the best gong, but it is a gong. It is the best gong. It's the best gong I've ever seen.

What? You're the one that's leading this charge. I know. I'm sorry. It's rude. I'm sorry. It's a retail therapy baby girl gong. Whoever described it as an Amazon,

it's giving Amazon, or whatever they said, an Amazon post. Yeah, because it was 17 as an Amazon. It's giving Amazon or whatever they said, an Amazon price. Yeah, because it was 17 bucks from Amazon. Yeah. I don't understand why people think that you can just have a tiny gong that creates a gong. It's just simply not happening. That's a big boy gong. I know.

Dave knows about that. It's authentic gong. He's a real gonger. He's not. It's hard to find a gong sound effect on Spotify. It shouldn't be that hard, dog. Just Google it, youtube go to spotify weirdo they have sound effects on spotify who's doing that no one i watched that movie over the weekend by the way what gong gong girl how does it how does it end um it turns out the gong was alive the whole time How does it end?

It turns out the gong was alive the whole time. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like rubber? You ever watch that one about the killer tire? Yeah. That sounds like you had a dream about it. Yeah. I heard that.

You did. Okay. Yeah. Rubber about the killer. Yeah. Maybe we should just move on. Can we just mute him the rest of the episode? He's really blowing it.

Well, we got Patreon returning tomorrow. Patreon.com slash Circling Back Podcast. You can also go on Spotify and subscribe there to our Patreon. Yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but it can be done. Also, voicemails every Thursday, 888-618-4422. Again, 888-618-4422. Bit Madness is upon us. It will be beginning on Wednesday. Randy,

can you give us a little insight on what needs to be discussed right now? Yes. Go to the description of this episode and it'll tell you everything you need to do. Brackets will be open until Tuesday night and Wednesday we'll start Bit Madness. Submit your bracket. If you're having trouble following the link open an incognito window take a screenshot make sure you put your social media handle or email so if you win that we can give you guys a prize but like i said just go in the description this episode has everything that you need speaking of incognito is pornhub still not available in texas correct oh like you don't know i really don't know as of of last week, no, it was not.

It's not the only one. It was not. Oh, it's snip week. Also, I forgot about that. Sorry. For me? I don't mean to bring up your personal memories. Why are you ruining this weekend of fun?

That's going to be my Wednesday. What's your fucking problem, dude? This weekend of getting snipped. It's not that fun. It's actually the opposite of fun. Well, you get to sit on your... It might rhyme with fun, kind of. No.

I'm sorry. Nope. Like run. Like run away. You don't want this to happen to you. Sure, that's what you meant. Seriously. It is newsletter week.

Washed.substack.com. Go subscribe. If you're in the subscribing mood, please go to youtube.com slash circling back. We've been doing premieres every Monday and Wednesday for the episode. So just make sure you hop in that chat. It's kind of fun in there.

Let's recap this weekend of fun presented by our friends over at Mugsy. Mugsy makes the most comfortable jeans, chinos, and shorts, and joggers ever made from buttery soft padded stretch materials that look stylish, but are insanely comfortable. They're never too baggy, never too tight. They're frankly the best thing to happen to legs since chairs. Never in human history have legs been so spoiled by the pure softness and comfort while looking so damn good.

What are you grinning about, Randy? You looking at their crew neck selection right now? Dave sent me something on Slack. I'm sure we'll get to it after that. It's probably a pair of slick mugsies, baby. Ooh, maybe the Coolmax. You and that cool max the ones that are like air conditioners for your legs i haven't slid into any yet but i really

why have you why have you not slid into any cool max cool i don't own any well they spent years developing uh the most breathable jeans ever and you're just gonna gloss over them i i wish i had some i'm saying i want them they're designed with lightweight fibers to ensure a cool breeze with every single step dylan yeah go from the backyard barbecue to the bar in one swift motion all summer long swamp ass no thank you you're out of here mister it's so nice not having swamp ass yeah i wore some non-cool max denim recently uh to a dinner where it was quite warm and uh i'll be honest there were some regrets that i did not have the cool max on my person at that point

because it's the first time in a long time that I had to go do that walk where you go into the bathroom, do a quick butt check, and then walk out. You got a little moist back there. I was like, yo, I see a little thing right there, but I think we can get beyond this. Head over to Muggsy.com. Get 10% off now using code STEAM. That's 10% off some of the most premium jeans, chinos, swimwear, and shorts on the internet. They also offer free shipping and

return, so there's absolutely no risk giving them a try. And if you're in Chicago, Boston, D.C., or Austin, make sure to head downtown and check out their storefront as well. Easy vibes every time. You can even have a beer while you shop. Get a little liquid courage when it comes to strutting your stuff and that new stuff. Bill, what'd you get into this weekend? strutting your stuff and that new stuff. Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? Thanks for asking, Will. I had a pretty excellent weekend.

Friday night, saw you fine, gentlemen. Even Randy showed up. Did a little Matt's El Rancho outing. Our friend Klein was in town. Mr. DeFreeze was in town. Not you, but your father. You can't call me that. That's my father. He was excellent company.

Everything was a lot of fun. Had a great a great time follow that up with a little uh deep eddie got some pitchers of beer just a good time man hey uh what'd you order on uh on friday evening at matt's hell rancho why why why'd you what'd you order i got shrimp enchiladas you got shrimp enchiladas shrimp You got shrimp enchiladas. Enchiladas? You talk all this poncho game, and I made the case that maybe we should just get a bunch of ribeyes and make life-size poncho-style nachos, and you just were not about it. I didn't hear you say that. No, he did pitch that.

I didn't hear you say that. Whole squad just gets tortillas and a bunch of ribeyes. I have regrets about my order. My order was fine. They were good, but they weren't poncho- and so i i was a little upset a little disappointed you turned down the sizzle i i did i turned down the siz that's okay look you know life is just one big learning experience we're going to learn from this we're going to move on it's a dance you learn as you go that's right sometimes you You learn as you go. That's right. Sometimes you lead. Sometimes you follow. That's right.

Thank you, Dave. Saturday, went out Dripping Springs way. Our friend Micah, Micah Weiner, had a St. Patrick's Day party. Excellent time. Probably more kids than adults there, but that's okay, too. All right, kids. Good time. The alcohol. Sounds like you don't like kids, buddy.

The alcohol array was vast and plentiful. Oh, yeah. You can have whatever you want. I've heard some rumors about a certain margarita machine maybe not working. I got some bad news. And I have yet to hear from, as a stakeholder in this margarita machine, I have yet to hear from a certain Michael Weiner about the lack of function. If you like your frozen margaritas to be on the rocks and it's a perfect margarita machine oh good

good to know very well mixed all it did was mix the ingredients it's almost like the reason that this margarita machine was such a steal was because it didn't work i think you guys need to put a little freon in it cool it off yeah i'm not sure what what the problem was yeah i'm gonna have to have a discussion i didn't have i didn't have we're gonna have to have a board meeting i talked to the bartender and he was kind of like kevin shout out to him he's a good bartender he's like he's like honestly man i don't know if this thing's ever been turned on before that seems like a good thing well he's like they didn't he's like i don't think he tested it out he's like a primate or something he's like this thing just just never going to work.

He was very, very down on the margarita machine. Damn. Could he just not want to deal with it because he's got enough to deal with of making cocktails for everybody? Maybe. His life would have been so easy if that margarita machine was working because all you got to do is just toss out a bunch of Frozens. Yeah. I would have put my mouth under it and just turned that fucker on. That's what some, dude.

Yeah. That's what some. Yeah, I do. Siphon it out. Brain freeze. Oh. That's a brain tease. That concludes my weekend in fun.

Just chilled with Parks on Sunday. It was very chill. Dave, I yield my time to you. Don't take a cocky Celsius sip before you talk about your weekend. Well, dude, you saw me packing that fat lip earlier. Dude, you're always just packing lips. Dude, I threw in a freaking hog. There was a guy at Micah's house who was doing skull.

I saw it, dude. I was like, damn, dude. Yeah, I was talking to him about it. You're a rare breed these days. I know. I went and got one just through in a freaking lip. I did a horseshoe. You did?

Yeah. I filled my whole bottom lip. They taped your mouth shut? I got very sick. That's not a good thing. I was throwing up in Micah's bathroom. But it was giving frat. It did give frat.

Thursday, Randy and I went on a little... A date. We went on a little A date We went on a date A man, a date, a company date It wasn't a company date We went to, what's it called Randy? K-Pot I'm going to let you explain what it is

K-Pot is a Korean barbecue and hot pot place So it's all you can eat And it has tables where it has a little grill in the middle And they give you a bunch of raw meat And then you cook it there And then you just get as much meat as you want and you just cook it and it's delicious look i'll tell you this if you like having like eight different variations of raw meat on your table at any given time this is your spot wait let me clarify are you the one cooking the meat are they cooking in front do you want to be cooking the meat you just toss it on

there is there any part of you that wonders if there's a better person to cook the meat are they cooking in front do you want to be cooking the meat you just toss it on there is there any part of you that wonders if there's a better person to cook the meat than the people sitting down at the table like a cook well you are your own cook it's like you're your own personal hibachi you kind of are minus like the the skill and flair we tried doing onion volcano didn't work didn't work but it was very good uh good. How did his meat turn out? Talk about Randy's meat. The only L Randy took, and I have a photo of it, was Randy was like, well, I got to get the – or I'll do my best, Randy. I got to get the jumbo shrimp.

It's just like me. Okay. And it's not de-shelled. Oh, no. They just grabbed the shrimp out of the gulf and just bring them up. Randy got it and tossed it on. And just look on his face when he tried it. You knew immediately.

He's like, yeah, I didn't need to do this. It was bad. The garlic shrimp was delicious. Garlic shrimp was good. But the jumbo shrimp was nothing. It's always pretty devastating when you're at a restaurant and the shrimp arrives just completely assembled. It's a lot of work. You know, I really don't like that.

For some things, it makes i just for some things it makes sense for some things i understand having to de-shell it yourself but like if i order shrimp in a salad and it comes and there's tails on that shrimp i'm like what am i supposed to do with these tails right like i don't want these tails here just cut it off flair the short rib and the pork belly were really good the chicken was amazing will. Will you return to K-pop? Yes. It's a scene. Okay. I'm going to let you know now.

Don't go in there thinking you're going to have a nice little quiet dining experience. Is this a scenario where you go in saying, I'm going to eat as much as I humanly can? It's like $32, $33, and you can order the entire menu, and the price does not change. How much, just asking for me, how much is a zany cocktail there? Ask this guy. It was about 11 bucks and it wasn't great. No, she didn't put her heart into it.

No. Young lady at the bar, but she was nice. There is, however, a absolute massive Jumbotron karaoke machine, like screen. Okay. The size size like honestly this wall maybe longer so they have like a full-on karaoke experience did y'all ever have in san marcos did y'all ever have like a place where you could go rent out rooms and do karaoke in them with your friends no so you could get like 12 people together no this became a really popular thing for a very short period of time and i think i

only did it in chicago and maybe ann arbor there was a place in austin who had that you could just go rent a room that's it you could just have like 12 people in there in ann arbor it was byob so we just got like a 30 rack of beer and just started just belting out like kid rock songs punchbowl social has that which is like my least favorite place of all time i i get the vibes there are so off i don't i don't that's your least favorite place of all the vibes are just in the gutter all time that's your least favorite place i don't like the cemetery because it means something bad happened yeah okay hospitals unless it's like for the birth of child and then it's like the best place ever you know you're bringing up decent points and i will consider them but for now it's still punch bowl social prison not good

i've never been so i wouldn't know i thought you did two and a half there on a three oh yeah did you see that video the the guard leaving that uh cell yeah dude what was she doing what was she up to what was she doing? What was she up to, dude? What was she doing today? No, I have not. Oh. There's a viral video. A little extracurricular time in a cell. Of a guard leaving a cell and locking up behind her. I'm locked up. Yeah, what would... Don't let me out.

What would... If there was a song written about this in the style of the country music playing in the office all morning, how would that go? She was guarding my cell the last two weeks. Came in and I had to clap them cheeks. It's good.

It's good. Lock me up and threw away the key. Threw away the key. It don't matter to me because I'm a G. How easy is it for these musicians to write these dumbass country songs? My brother-in-law is so good at making up fake country songs that I'm positive he could just do it.

The lyrics that just come out of his mouth, I'm like, you could just write these down and make a killing. Yeah. Dave could probably do that too. The country list we had out there this morning is still on for what I know. It is one of the most bizarrely bad.

It's trash. Brett's got something going on. You could tell me that Brett has an AI-generated country function on his Spotify that just comes up with random artists named Kane and Cade and then puts their AI-generated faces on the screen, and then they just have AI-generated songs. Brett moves to Texasas he buys land and starts listening to the corniest country music of all time oh my god okay so the first thing that

happened when we were at matt's hell rancho on friday we walk up my dad's meeting everybody he's he's met people before but you know you do that thing where you just re-meet brett's wearing his jackson hole shirt and the first thing my dad asked you go to jackson hole i just busted out laughing brett loves shirts from from small mountain towns i'm pretty sure he's leaving town this weekend and going to jackson hole for the first time and i'm pretty sure he's doing it just to get his resume up for these shirts he can wear the shirt to jackson he should i mean i don't know if you do that it's a clout play that's like wearing that's like wearing the band shirt to the concert exactly it's just oh oh my God, it is just a clout play. That's all this trip is.

Will said my new bitch should be wearing Saratoga spring shirts. I want Randy to get a bunch of Saratoga shirts made that just are in the same style. Yeah. Steal the valor. Can I get my Matt's order? Yeah. Okay.

You said you were going flautas on the pod on Wednesday, just FYI. People don't forget, David. Did you lie? People don't forget. It just, it wasn't forget it just it wasn't it didn't have i'll say this to to credit david did that friday night did not have flauta energy i wasn't giving flauta i ended up it was giving matt special what's the matt special well it's a taco and enchiladas it's a it's a combination and um the only issue i have is they bring out the taco about 10 to 12 minutes before the rest of the meal so here's your taco and i'm just thinking like man you could have just tossed this on the plate with enchiladas oh dude that's what they do though that's what they do they bring

them out to salad i don't need a teaser taco you're the only person i've ever seen get a soft shell uh taco with that order yeah i've never seen it was jarring seeing it no dude i think it's a good play overall i think i'm gonna start doing that actually but they always just bring it on a essentially a tortilla shit yeah she was guarding my cell for the last two weeks i'm sorry i can't go back to the course i gotta see the video so they were definitely fucking that's the implication oh but there's no proof of that dave well so they threw the book at me and then she threw that ass on me uh-huh we're working

through it yeah we'll get there sorry that was a uh ill-timed Celsius tip. You can't drink Celsius in the middle of singing your country song. Saturday was – we missed you, Will, but I'm very excited to hear about your Saturday. Oh, yeah. From what I understood, you're doing some good things out there. Oh, yeah. Went to Micah's, St. Paddy's, brought Rhodes. One of those situations where, like Dylan said, a ton of kids, but that means there's a lot of parents there. So if you can't find your kid for like seven minutes, you're not that worried because there's a ton of parents there.

It's a great spot to be in. Yeah. Also, they ordered like one pizza per person. Micah, I don't want to throw anybody under the bus. Micah was – you could tell Micah was not real happy about the number of pizzas he had to order. Just a tower of pizza they brought in. People were leaving with boxes of pizza. I'm surprised Micah didn't just do some homemade uh corned beef and cabbage or something you know yeah he's a dog like that yeah it was a great time it's good had some guinness

uh there was a signature there was a proper 12 uh moscow mule oh david oh proper 12 which delightful good time uh was in bed by like 9 30 that night which i love then yesterday was just like one of the most um aesthetically pleasing rainy days on again off again i love a dreary showers thunderstorms nothing severe but just good downpours kept you in started watching the The Gentleman on Netflix. I think it could earn both of your business. What if I haven't liked anything Guy Ritchie's done for like 12 years? I think you will like it because of the cast. You've got my guy from White Lotus, the hot guy. What's his name again? Theo James. He's good. He's very hot.

The guy who plays his brother is good. Let me give you just 10 seconds on it, and you can tell me if you're in or out. He is the son of a duke. The duke is! He got the royalty play. Dad passes away. He inherits the dukedom.

The dukedom! I don't know. Stop. His brother, who got passed over, is a real wild-ass cokehead, just shithead, and gets in a real pickle with some unsavory characters. How does he get in a pickle? He just crawls up in it. That sounds awesome.

You probably know. That sounds so good. Dill or sweet? From there, there's some some weed there's some pot there's some so this is a modern day story yeah oh okay okay okay that changes things i'm gonna fuck with it when i see the gentleman and it has to do with a duke my brain starts going to like the dukeys the dukeys uh my brain starts going to like 1800 stuff which doesn't really move the needle for me nope this is this is modern day okay that

changes literally everything david yep is that did that actor replace army hammer since he's like canceled now dude great call he's the he's the replacement dude you just got my take of the week let's go dude it can get it can get replaced at any time but that's a really good take i'll take it thank you yeah when he saw army hammer go down he was like wait my time wait there's an opportunity for another generic looking white man hot white man hot smoking hot white man yeah i bet when he heard that news he just threw a fat ass dip okay just a big old pinch oh yeah dude he's just chilling you know hey siri played like a g You know? Hey, Siri, play Like a G. Jailhouse anthem. It's the new Jailhouse rock.

He gave her the Jailhouse. Okay. Now my iTunes is just opening now and trying to play a song called Like a G. This is not what we want here, people. Yeah, let's get out of here. And yeah, my father was in town this weekend. We had an absolute blast together. He got into town Wednesday night.

From there, he immediately broke the cork off of a nice bottle of bourbon and we didn't know what to do with it. So we just drank it. And so we got into it in a good way. And it was an absolute blast. Was a little fuzzy on Thursday morning for the retail therapy recording. I'm not going to lie. But what I did not realize when my dad came into town, it was a straight up business trip for this guy. He did not want to mess around. The second he sits down, he goes,

you get a grill yet? I said, no, not yet. Just got done with the inside of the house. Now it's time for the outside. And he goes, all right, we're going to Lowe's tomorrow. We show up at Lowe's, get a grill. And suddenly he just goes, all right, I'm going to the garden section. I did not know. I thought he just wanted to look around. The man's got a green thumb. Probably one of the best gardeners I know. Let's get that checked out. He goes into the garden section and suddenly he's got one of those big, big carts and he's just pushing stuff around. I'm like, oh, he's putting me to work. So from Thursday until he left on Sunday morning, it was just all garden all the time.

Boys were just lethargically hanging out at the crib, just doing gardening tasks, enjoying ourselves. We did go to Carve on Thursday evening. It's famously prime rib night. Yes, it is. Carve. It hit. It hit. I couldn't finish my prime rib, which I'm kind of embarrassed about.

What? Really sad performance. I will say this. Had our waiter at Carve been a little more active and present in our life, I think we really could have kicked back some cocktails at that dinner. It was a skeleton crew in there that night. You could see the people that were working were just grinding, and they didn't have time to check in on their tables enough. I was ready to go. Yeah. Had a

great time though. I mean, I know nothing about gardening, but this weekend alone, I've realized, okay, I can't let this garden die. My dad, my dad put too much work into this. He taught me too much over the week. I got to figure this out. Can you give us a sneak peek of what was planted? You know, we did some, it's going to be difficult for me to identify these plants by name. We have some plants that are going to grow much larger than they are right now to take up some room in the garden. So I don't have to do a lot of maintenance and upkeep on this thing. We've got some flower boxes that have been set around. I need to have Randy over and really assess this because he's my garden king he's my plant daddy it's true plant daddy season two from the seed but if you see your boy out there in the middle of summer uh just you know watering his plants give me a

little honk say hello it's an old-timey car yeah i did miss the party i didn't miss micah's party unfortunately, as I did not realize the aggressive gardening schedule that was going to transpire throughout Saturday. And so Sally went without me with the kid. And yeah, I did enjoy some Guinness on Saturday evening. That's good. I fired

up that grill. We had some barbecue chicken. Vibes high. Austin FC, 2-2 draw. Okay. Boys are are just absolutely buzzing it's a good draw i watched so much players championship this weekend same you know it's fun i don't think i've ever watched i i think players championship might be above some majors for me in terms of watching and i don't think it's just because we had the greatest weekend of all time there i thought the coverage was good i thought it was very good i was very happy with it that course is just gorgeous and knowing on

sunday that everything's going to come down to 17 and what happens it's just a really fun scenario you know me though i just i don't play pdic courses i can't do i just don't can't that's the thing about me i played a p Dye course with you before many times. No, not my thing. I just refuse to. Shout out to Chris. Chris Harrison of Bachelor fame refuses to play Pete Dye courses. He doesn't do it.

It's such a rich guy moved to beef with a golf course designer. You play so much good golf that you're picking and choosing. That's an architect I don't fuck with. Maybe I just don't have this in me, but I've never looked up the architect of a course beforehand just to see if I'll jive with it. Did he say why? He just doesn't – He doesn't like – He doesn't like the water. It's not pleasing to the eye.

Too challenging. I think – yeah, I don't think he said the word hokey, but I think he like – gimmicky might have come out of his mouth. Okay. First guest on our pod. Yeah you're damn right you're damn right and then last night i finished the greatest uh the greatest series of television i've watched in 2024 which is traders season two american version highly recommend very satisfying 11 episodes of television anyone out there if you would like to dm and discuss this, holler at your boy. What a time.

I have a big omission from our weekend at fun. We got to give a shout out to intern Klein. I mentioned Klein. I would like it if Klein came into town a weekend where I didn't already have a ton of stuff on my schedule that took me away from him the entire time. But as long as he's coming to town and still being relevant in our lives, I'm okay with it. Yeah, he's a fun guy. And his wife, lovely wife, Lexi,

and I got to play golf with him Friday. He just, I watched him just absolutely put a Costco in between his three wood and my drive. It was just really impressive. It's really cool. Not demoralizing at all. So shout out to him. Shout out to our good friend, Ryan, who went to dinner with us too and had us out. would in my drive it was just really impressive it's really cool not demoralizing at all so shout out to him shout out to our good friend ryan who went to a dinner with us too and had us out he

sizzled with me when others i know not i know i feel bad for not sizzling with y'all i'm looking at dylan dylan had the offer on the fucking table i already admitted that i i blew my shit so yeah you were probably you were probably just pretty full from already eating, you know, Factors Delicious ready-to-eat meals. That's what it was. I know you were eating pretty hard on Friday afternoon, but every fresh, never-frozen meal from them, yeah, it's chef-crafted, dietician-approved, ready to go in just two minutes.

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They included a bunch of wellness shots last time. I holler at those things so hard. A little ginger? Dude, I love it. I love that little cayenne buzz after that ginger hits. Are you kidding me? It's a great way to do it. But in terms of meals, I love these things.

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don't want to cook every single night and you still want to get just absolute, just callous in your life. Go to Factor. Head to fact to factor meals.com slash backer 50 use code backer 50 get 50 off that's code backer 50 at factor meals.com slash backer 50 to get 50 off mind if we go up montana way real quick this is absurd what dude i don't think we should be criticizing this man i think this we should be criticizing this man. I think this man should be celebrated. This is not good. Dude, this guy should be celebrated.

There's a dude in Montana who's just, he's built so different that he's decided that he wants to build other animals different, mainly sheep. This is an old man. Yeah, some old dude, an 80-year-old Montana man, faces prison time after authorities say

he spent nearly 10 years trying to create a giant sheep hybrid to sell to hunting facilities. Dude's out here just hybrid sheeping. We've all been there. He's in prison? According to the U.S. Department of Justice, Arthur Jack Scubarth has pled guilty to two felony wildlife crimes. A conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act. Dude, you cannot violate the Lacey Act. Am I God? Don't violate Lacey. crimes a conspiracy to violate the lacy act i dude you cannot violate the lacy am i god

he violated don't violate lacy lacy always chooses the wrong guys i might have to look up what the lacy act is i'm enacted in 1900 the lacy act aims to protect wildlife fish and plants from illegal trafficking i like that don't that wasn't a. No one knows what the Lacey Act is. First enacted in 1900, the Lacey Act combats trafficking of illegally taken wildlife, fish, or plants. The 2008 Farm Bill amended the Lacey Act and extended protections

to a broader range of plants and plant products. Anyway, you get it. Well, he conspired with a squad between 2013 and 2021 to, quote, create a larger hybrid species of sheep that would garner higher prices. He brought parts from the largest sheep in the world, Marco Polo Argali sheep, from Kyrgyzstan to the U.S. without declaring importation. And the average males weigh more than 300 pounds and span more than five feet. They're protected internationally and domestically, are prohibited in Montana what parts yeah what can you just bring parts in yeah what does that mean

yeah like that sounds weird that's a weird way to phrase it like a foot in an ear like can we do this with other animals if you're gonna make a hybrid of any animal what are you gonna do oh probably a bison and a tiger a biker that would be a fucking absolute resilient tyson with tyson a tyson a tyson's actually pretty good that better is mike tyson really fighting this paul brother you can't do hybrids of animals of a different genus i can do whatever the fuck i want dude it's weird when you say my science lab why do you wink after you say genus every time i'm the one with the bunsen burner i'm the one who tried to make this company bunsen burner media we should have kept it it was it was just the llc name it was just the llc name it was the

it was the company for two weeks it was you can call the llc anything right it's just yeah well i get remember what you wanted to call it? No. Yeah, you do. Yeah, but I want to say. Big Dick Baller Media? No. Come on, man. That's what you wanted to call it. They're not going to approve that one.

So we're not getting these giant hybrid sheep then? Why don't you calm down and let them do the story? I don't know. I mean, we could try to procure some. What are they going to do with these sheep? Hey, you see that they made a major advancement in the woolly mammoth bringing bringing it back no you saw ross's reel didn't you no okay ross did a reel on this the other day what is it what happened they're bringing them back they've they found they took a step forward i don't know is this so they can go to the russian tundra and eat the permafrost yeah it's gonna be good for

the environment david it's like gonna save the world. So why are scientists, and I put that in quotes, allowed to make woolly mammoths, but our man Jack up in Montana can't just create some hybrid sheep to maybe get a little more skrill in his bank account? I think it's because the woolly mammoth serves a legitimate purpose for our ecosystem. Jack was just going to sell these to ranches so people people could go hunt giant sheep that's kind of bullshit that's

that's legitimately what he was doing it was just so they could be killed that's pretty fucked up it is pretty fucked up can you imagine the lamb chops on these things that's a good point are lamb chops from sheep are they from like just lambs what's the difference when these babies are born you think they know that they're a new animal that hit the streets? They come out with a six-pack? That's extreme self-awareness. I'm the first of my kind. Let's fucking do this.

I don't know if they've got that intelligence. Dolphins, though, man. Then they just get got by a hunter. Dolphins are smart as hell. Bigger brains than people, David. Right. I'm surprised you didn't know that. I did.

We've done that three times. I'm surprised you didn't know that. I did. Don't violate the lazy egg David oh my god so he did not text back and then I'm still so stupid I texted him last night I was like welcome you double-texted well we were out for st. Paddy's Kelly's we're doing so many Irish car bombs apparently not supposed to call it that yeah you can't call it that anymore. But I was so drunk from the pink panic dropper punch that we had the pregame that I just went up and ordered it. Y'all made PPD?

We made, yeah. We didn't just make it. We finished it. Oh, my God. I had it in my Aquafina bottle that I brought to the bar. And they confiscated it. What a shitty bottle to bring. Aquafina?

The worst possible bottle you could bring to the bar i was in i was in goblin mountain remember when now now gene was like the thing yeah old gene loved water before yeti came out and now it's stanley this was an audacious scheme to create massive hybrid sheep species to be sold and hunted as trophies sick it's just that's weirdo shit he's just doing shit with his boys dude this is what rednecks do like just let him let him figure it out as long as these things aren't like i don't know running rampantly in neighborhoods and tearing up the ground what's the big deal this is how the pigs started this is the problem with the feral pigs are fucking the domestics still out of control in florida you said your python was

out of control get it randy this weekend in fun i just i don't think we should be criticized jack's late in life no he's not above criticism because he's an old man i heard he was doing it to protect his property from all the uh all the people that were trying to get it from him. Well, they were trying to build an airport out there. And he had a gang of neo-Nazis try to assassinate his entire family. Really? So his defense was to make some hybrid cheap. And they were going to ward off these neo-Nazis and the government and eminent domain it was a very very like half-assed plan but you gotta do something

apparently his family just killed a bunch of people his daughter's like a real fucking wild card like objectively hot but just a real bitch if we're being honest yeah that's her problem if y'all could take genes or dna from like moxie yeah from like your current dog and you could regenerate your dog would you regenerate your dog like clone my dog like like so once randy passes rest in peace there's a new you could just go you could run back randy no it's technology's there if faced with that it would be hard for me to say no no i know i that's a little what about these people who get their animals stuffed after they pass that's a weird move it is weird don't do that what are you supposed to do with them that should be illegal to stuff an animal what

do they do with them most dogs are uh incinerated i buried my dog once. Really? Yeah. I'm sorry that your dog passed. This pod was really fun for the first 44 minutes. I didn't bury it that deep and so I've had fears that

it was found eventually. Like Pet Sematary? It was in our backyard. But I had to pay tribute, you know? When Randy murked uh two little bunnies two little bunnies but they were they are outside randy's mouth they were i buried them i did i did not bury them very deep you should have eaten them it's the end

of that story could have had some rabbit dude it's a good story i could have made a nice stew you can make a risotto with it oof what's up with this risotto this guy could do five years sorry dude you can't put him in jail let him be on house arrest at his fucking ranch like yeah this guy doesn't deserve dude like just stop bro just sell the ranch dude he's not even going to be on the show this season dude remember the ranch in like 2018 i was talking about the ranch with somebody at dinner it's not a good that's a bar that's probably on my that's top two or bottom two bars for me to be at an austin if i'm at the ranch something has gone wrong it's the young it's the youngest of the west six bars it's so young and i don't want to walk upstairs to go to a bar that I'm way too old to be at.

It gives dirty six. It does. You know what I mean? Don't want to walk upstairs. It's true. This dude does not do stairs when he drinks. No, typically no. No.

If there's an elevated bar situation in a party district like Sixth Street, I probably don't need to be there. It's fair. I think what we. It's fair. Ground level only. Ground level only. No, I saw this tweet. Do you guys see this? It's from The Guardian, which is a publication. They say that the need for independent journalism has never been greater. Become a Guardian supporter. Okay, well, what kind of stories am I going to get? Well, here's one. I didn't eat proper risotto until I was nearly 30.

And now, drought may take it off menus forever. This poor woman, she didn't eat proper risotto until she was like almost 30. Forever? Maybe if she would have been eating more risotto early in the game, she could have gotten, I don't know know more of a market share for risotto and every everyday people's routines you guys bring back risotto well dylan that's where you're wrong yeah don't talk about bringing things back when the forums are out there just flapping in the wind right now fucking crazy seriously dude you're showing your ass right now i'm'm sorry. Yeah, I'm thinking about bringing them back.

You see, the trouble has to do with the climate crisis. I know that's something that you don't care about. Your track record's up there with Taylor Swift. Come on. Have you guys seen the meme of what it looks like in her place when she goes to get a glass of water in the middle of the night? A plane crash through a house. Yeah, it's just a plane crash.

You see, Dylan, risotto rice varieties such as Arborio In the middle of the night? A plane crash through a house. Yeah, it's just a plane crash. You see, Dylan, risotto rice varieties such as Arborio and Carnaroli are grown in the Po Valley, a floodplain in the north of Italy where the challenge for farmers used to be to keep the water away. But now everything's topsy-turvy. In 2022, the worst drought in 200 years struck the Po and the river that feeds the system of canals that irrigates the paddy field as a result italy lost 26 000 hectares of rice fields and production of the grain dropped by more than 30 so i guess that's pretty hilarious to you that there's farmers out there unable to yield a crop i'm just saying like there's no way risotto is just going to cease to exist at some point because some dickhead in montana is going to it? There's going to be a way to like, hey, we found a fix. We found a workaround.

What if we got these farmers together and they came up with a hybrid risotto that didn't need as much water? There we go. What if we found out on Saturday, Will and his dad were doing some rice fields? Yep, I'm harvesting a lot of rice in my garden. Are you growing rice at your place?

Yep. That's a heavy lift. I'm going to give Dave the gift of rice. I know he likes it a lot, rice in my garden rice at your place yep yep that's a that's a heavy lift i'm gonna give dave the gift of rice i know he likes it a lot so i decided to harvest dave does love rice man oh they they messed up your order at matt's dave does he replaces the bean he goes double rice and then with double beans see you and sally just need to collab because she goes double beans dog so they hit me with that double beans and i was like well this is so many beans here's what y'all do you eat your your rice off your plate she'll eat her beans and then y'all

just trade plates i love trading plates with people and then you eat her rice she'll eat your beans yeah you see your boys switching plates with your wife mid meal and you your brain starts to trail off a little bit what's going on you gotta lose the conversation you were in a little bit they haven't understood agreement y'all get home and she's like why were you so quiet at dinner i saw you trading plates yeah i saw you eating dave's bees you let dave why are you eating dave's have your plate huh just trading plates not weird at all can we make a frat line of clothing from wash media like a fogs hat like a frocket tea dogs. We have a bring back the forums. Actually, I think you should just have,

El Gliz's campaign slogan should just be bring back the, make the forums again. No. You want me to write this down? No, no, no. Make the forums again. I want you to put up what I sent you. Oh, okay.

Oh, yes, yes. My dude. Speaking of Gogs, Dylan. I don't know if you saw this. Going to give you the chances before this gets out there to either just kind of clarify your position on taking money from the military industrial complex. Because allegedly there's a Boeing slash Wienermobile collab, according to at B-Cycles on Twitter. That's a good name for it because you combine Boeing and Wiener. It says Boner.

To be the Bonermobile. You want to comment? I have no comment. This looks like it's parked in Austin, Texas. Why do you say Texas? That's where it's parked. What gives Austin in this picture? The parking or the building behind?

Yeah, the bricks in the background. The sky. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm kind of like that dude on TikTok who you can just show me a photo of something and I can tell you exactly where it is. knows exactly where this is yeah yeah is this thing gonna be faulty like the rest of the uh boeing stuff i don't know but i will say uh anytime that a picture comes across your tl of the wienermobile you don't have to send it to me i don't need to

see it but thank you for doing it um i've seen plenty i know what it looks like have you seen it in person yes i have okay have you seen it in person? Yes, I have. Okay. Have you seen it in person randomly? Yes. There's one that I've seen twice in Austin just driving down the street, and it makes me laugh every single time. I saw one on Mopac one time just cruising, just a big old wiener on the road. I got cut off by somebody recently in Austin, and the person had their Instagram at on the back of their car

because they clearly use it for business purposes as well. And I couldn't help but just go to that person's instagram profile and just absolutely hate on them the second it happened you did not i was so mad i didn't i didn't comment or anything but i did go to their instagram and see see what kind of person i was working with i'll be honest they make really good looking cookies oh really you're a fan now well i saw it and i was like honestly like they're making a good run at this cookie business so like i you know maybe they had to get somewhere maybe they had to get somewhere when was the last time you guys had a good risotto last time i had i've only made risotto once i was in jackson hole j hole we were there for work and they uh they were like yeah and at two

o'clock we're going to this cooking class. We're making risotto. And I was like, man, 2 o'clock on a Saturday in Jackson Hole? Like what if we did anything but a cooking class right now? What if I just drank at a bar with a bunch of dead animals on the wall? That sounds dope. They got those big sheep there? I don't think they had any hybrid sheep at that point. I think that was around 2018 way. Risotto might be a little overrated.

I don't know if risotto getting extinct really moves the needle for me that much. It's certainly not my go-to. I hope Rachel Cook can survive. I mean, this is just kind of a lesson to all y'all. Live life to the fullest. You never know. Go eat some risotto. It will go away forever.

Shout out to the Po Valley. Something tells me that risotto is going to be around for a minute, though. Just get a feel. The zotes? Yeah, just feel like it. Rizzo Stradamus over here. I'm bullish on risotto moving forward. I don't think you should put bull in risotto.

I'm a little sheepish on it. You got to take a Celsius away from this guy. The cocky sips are out of control. You gotta take the Celsius away from this guy. It's a good beverage there, buddy. The cocky sips are out of control. You can't tell a man did not cocky sip his Celsius. I'm just loving it, man. It's not a business I'm in.

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out and I was like, yeah. That's a good package. Oh yeah. Damn. That's what's up. You know, I've been growing my hair out a little bit a lot of a lot of comments regarding the flow lately dave thinks i'm growing a mullet which is he is he gonna get a mullet you would crush in a mullet dude i i think i'm getting to the point where i'm mullet adjacent but that's because of our friends over at neutrophil their hair growth supplements are physician formulated using 100 drug-free ingredients and their patented technology provides consistent reliable results without compromising your sex life, Dylan. Don't want to do that.

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and hairstylists recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com. Spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com. Enter promo code circling. That's Nutrafol.com. Promo code circling. Every time I spell something in an ad read now, do you guys think about how I get scared during it? Ever since I've admitted that to the world? I don't think about it but i understand the feeling every time i spell now

i think to myself now that i've announced it to the world it's present in people's minds what do you what's so funny david i just think about the one time that i was doing that ad read and too much tip and i just thought about how that would be like the worst possible raffle yeah we're the best depending on what side of the raffle you're on we're supposed to get an announcement today from buckingham palace you guys familiar with this place we are is there gonna be a little trumpeteer so i don't know what's going on and i don't think i don't know if there's anything that's been announced so far this morning but i woke up i i had one of those you know wake up at two 30 in the morning,

things going on, signing on my Twitter timeline while I was laying in bed, trying to get, get back to sleep. And I saw a bunch of people saying, dude, the BBC just changed their, uh,

their logo on Instagram from being red to being black. Wait, what does this mean? What does this mean? Wait, do they have like a, like we had the terror threat level bbc level black yeah does that is that is this unprecedented apparently that happened and

uh and allegedly some videos come out of uh of king charles uh walking around today so apparently he's not dead and so if he's not dead then what else are we gonna get have you guys seen any new theories that you're in on for kate no i haven't okay okay i read something about her um being in montana for some kind of sheep hybrid farm thing it was a weird deal i don't believe there's any smoke there okay and i'm looking at twitter right now i see people having fun with this i'm photoshoppedped statements from the... Yeah, that's the new meme format of the morning. Let's see. Let's see.

This says... Dave just showed me one breaking news. It says, the Buckingham Palace has announced with profound regret that royal correspondent Nicholas Whitchell has wanked himself into a coma. Is he our goon of the week? Maybe. He's wanked himself into a coma. Is he our goon of the week? Maybe.

He's wanked himself into a coma. He's got some stiff competition. Put the fucking- Do you think there's any way that she's just having a goon sesh right now? I gotta think that's not what's going on. Kate, come out. Come out of the palace. She can't.

You must come out, me lord. Yeah. As much as we respect a proper gooning, we need you to show face. It's been months, madam. I don't like to interrupt a stretch of this goon. People are wondering. Dylan.

Something nefarious has to be going on. Kate, I know you're in the midst of an all-time goon session, but please, we cannot keep this any longer. You're putting up big numbers. This is Wilt Chamberlain style. You've been trending for days. Go ahead. When is this going on?

Wait, when is the announcement happening? Dude, I don't know. So there's rumors that she'll be out till Easter, which the people can't wait till Easter. They got to move fast. This is a pivotal week for the royal family. Are they still saying she's recovering from that abdominal surgery that she had? Yeah.

Yeah. Which if that's all that's going on, then we all look like a bunch of fools. But then why release the fake photo? To throw people off of the set of The Goon. This whole thing just... It doesn't smell right, David. It's low-key giving goon.

It is kind of giving goon a little bit. You don't know that. It's not. If this was Prince William who was not seen for two months, there would be many more gooning allegations. You know that dude's a real beater. Okay. He's with... What's your face that dude's a real beater. Okay. He's with, what's your face?

He's with that Chumlee chick, his mistress. Like the Baroness of Chumlee or something like that. The Baroness of Chumlee. Something. That's a dope title. His mistress is like just catching strays in the news right now. Does she do that thing where she um

when she like attacks she can like get onto her head and like helicopter kick that's chunley i'm sorry that's a different theme no chumley was from uh that show pond stars pond stars yeah chumley dude he's doing really well apparently is he yeah good for him good is he like shoe nice i got worried about all the pawn stars guys i was like i see i could see these guys getting a bunch of money and maybe using it to do some nefarious things hey best i can do is 200 bucks do you guys ever watch i want they wanted seven grand you ever watch like antiques roadshow no but i better be into it it's kind of lit yeah you remember my buddy matt kelly yeah in law school you like he'd show up to class i'm like oh fuck what would you do i was nice i stayed

up to like four watching pawn stars dude i used to watch the shit it's addictive dude it's addictive some dope shit made it into that store man i know i get it but just it's just a long four out 4 a.m is very late i love when they'd be like, we have a trading card of a 17th century British soldier. And he's like, oh, we got a guy for that. We're going to bring him in. We got a guy. I love they have so many guys. I'm going to give some guy a call.

I'm going to get my friend in here if that's okay. Just sit tight. And he knows everything there is to know. Oh, yeah. This guy, he was a soldier around 1638. Died in some friendly fire. It's a good show. Yeah.

Well, if Kate's not going to be our Goon of the Week, let's introduce our Goon of the Week. Speaking of wanking into a coma. This guy needs to be put in solitary for what he's been doing here. Dylan, you're not going to like this story, but a moviegoer has been caught gooning within the confines

of a Detroit movie theater. Oh, Detroit. Yeah. This was at a screening of a film called Love Lies Bleeding, which is a film about two lesbian lovers who are bodybuilders. Ooh, Kristen Stewart. And so they were doing a screening and some people went to it. And then unfortunately, some guy took things a little too far

and it says a not safe for work photo of a man um uh asleep in a reclining movie theater chair with his penis exposed was posted by twitter user at ugly x korean who captioned the image went to go see love lies bleeding and this drunk guy jacked himself off to sleep and uh you were peeing with herman on i wasn't going to i wasn't going to talk about this today until I saw the absolute goon setup that he had next to him in a public movie theater. Can you zoom on that table? He fell asleep in his chair. This guy's got a setup.

Look at all the bevvies on his. Not the peas, but the other stuff. Dylan, he's got a- We blurred it out. Cigarettes? He's got a- In this guy's arsenal at a public movie theater, he has two bottles of Fireball,

a coffee, which he has not taken one sip of clearly, a pack of cigarettes. Holy Trinity. An elf bar, a lottery... No, that's not a lottery ticket. That's probably just his movie ticket. But he's got a real good setup right now if you're really going to go full bore at this.

Is that a line of cocaine right there? What is that? No, I think that might just be like a cigarette. A Lucy. Is that a second elf bar behind the cuff here? Hey, man. It looks like we have dueling elf bars. Oh, my God.

What was this guy's plan? He just loves bodybuilders. Just wait till you get home and do all this shit. Just go find some of this shit on Reddit, dude. I'm sure it exists. Can I give you guys a little bit from the plot of this movie, Love Lies Bleeding, and you can tell me whether this is justified or not? Yeah.

Is this a justified jacking? Okay. We're taking him to jack court. Dun, dun, dun. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Dun, dun, dun. People's court? Yeah.

It's good. It's like that, but it's for jacking. It's good. It's good. In 1989, gym manager Lou meets a woman named Jackie working out at the gym and falls in love with her. Jackie, unbeknownst to her, had gotten a job at Lou's father's, Lou's senior, shooting range after having sex with Lou's brother-in-law, JJ. Jackie is passing through town to get to a bodybuilding competition in Las Vegas. Lou offers her steroids, which Jackie initially refuses,

but ends up taking. The two have sex, and Jackie asks to stay at Lou's apartment. So, just something that might be, I don't know. Will you wait for it to hit Hulu? Or will you go see it in theaters? I'm not going to theater this,

but I'll watch the trailer when it hits Hulu. You got steroids, you got sex, You got sex. You got a shooting range. Those are the three. You said those are the three things you look for in movies. I don't remember saying that. I don't know.

Would you like this more if it was about baseball and they're at a batting cage? Yeah. And they were doing steroids? I'm not going to pound fireball and pull on my elf bar when I watch this. What if Sammy Sosa and mcguire were hooking up through that entire run that'd be a story for sure i wish i was older for that i wish i would have been like 16 when that was happening like you i was yeah that's old i was what summer was it 98 damn i was 15 Pre-9-11.

America was hitting at that point. Yeah. We just had dudes just bombing home runs. We hadn't been attacked yet. Vibes were high. Vibes were high. God. What a time, Dave.

Take me back. The Lacey Act wasn't being enforced. What have you been saying around the office lately? Make America great again? No, you were saying make america goon again i don't remember saying that a lot of gooning a lot of goon i gotta get it over the gooning yeah man you gotta get over they're going to the theaters two elf bars one's not enough gotta bring two they're short. I don't know what an elf bar is.

It's just a vape. It's a vape, dog. It's a vape, dude. You gotta get that in your arsenal, dude. These kids, they love the vape. They go home, they tell their parents. Remember any bad vapes? You can't call it a vape.

Because calling it a vape now, like everyone knows the word vape. If you call it an elf bar, you get the chuckle of like, oh, that's a funny name for those things. Okay. I've never hit an elf bar before maybe if that doesn't change at a meetup in the near future i'm gonna be a little upset i did pretty

recently actually really yeah friday i think they have elf bars uh when i played that that golf scramble with with the squad uh what flavor strawberry lemonade elfing like strawberry ice or some shit yeah i remember yeah were you in the boys elfing my my that friend group because they took the escobars off the shelves so now they're elf bar boys you can't get a scale bar anymore you can't get it you can't get an escobar anymore sheesh i know what can you get in america these days dave i got a hat idea i can't even crank in Texas. I was going to say, we should make a Make Texas Goon Again hat. It's a black hat with orange font text.

What's going on in Texas? Make Texas Goon Again. You can't buy beer before noon on Sunday. Can't watch porn anymore. Can't watch porn. Can't buy weed legally. What can we do? No gambling. Everyone talks about how you can't sports bet. Everyone talks about how Texas isxas is this free place like i feel like i feel like we

should have a little more rights when it comes to bopping with the boys let me gamble for my phone good point and hit a dispensary on a friday night nope gotta drive to oklahoma louisiana if you want to do your gambling shout out choctaw though fun casino is it gonna change at some point you know we have a guy who might know beto o'rourke no it's not beto well that man will never win a election in texas he's kind of he has to have said you know what he needs to go to i don't know if they have any agencies out there that turn you like that turn you from being a joke into not a what? He needs to go to, I don't know if they have any agencies out there that turn you from being a joke into not a joke, but he needs to go to that agency. Because he's just a punchline at this point.

Well, he did famously skateboard onto stage. He also had his entire campaign team doing pushups in an airport. Randy started doing the Pete Buttigieg high hopes dance at the middle of the K-pop bar. Dave sent it to me because I had no idea what that dance was. And it is just trash. It's a great Fall Out Boy song. High Hopes. Can you demonstrate right here for us?

Ready, Randy? Cause I got high hopes. Yeah, there it is. Now you got to do the clap. This has Tony P vibes. I bet Tony Pete's a big... Oh, Tony P loves Pete Buttigieg. I'm worried about Tony P vibes. It's very... I bet Tony Pete's a big... Oh, Tony Pete loves Pete Buttigieg. I'm worried about Tony P.

I'm not worried about him. Sorry. What was his name for Pete? You didn't know? I only got that far. Tiny Pete? To be fair, I'm kind of glad it didn't get to that point. He definitely has got a name for Pete Buttigieg.

It's probably not a good one. Yeah. Tiny Pete. I can't do a... for Pete Buttigieg. It's probably not a good one. Yeah. Tiny Pete. I can't do Trump. He won the club championship, didn't he? I know. Trump? He advanced to it.

If you're Donald Trump, why are you even qualifying for the club championship? Dude, it's where he gets his juice from. He doesn't even like politics anymore. It's just all about getting to the club championship. Is he legitimately a decent golfer? I think so. Yeah, I think so. For an old guy.

I'm sure it's juiced. I'm sure his handicap's a little juiced and stuff, but I think he is regarded as being a pretty good golfer. Just like mine. He's not like Kim Jong, like your boy. He just lies about it. He drives the cart up onto the green. When it's your course, you can do whatever you want.

He's also wildly out of shape. That too. I don't know if you noticed. Yes. If you were Trump and you had Trump money and you were making Trump National or something, would you be like, talk to the course architect, not Pete Dye? Would you talk to the architect and be like, hey, can you come out and play a few rounds with me and just see how my game sets up?

So just tailored to his game. Yeah. That's a great idea. I have the theory that Augusta plays well for lefties, so I think I could be a stripe show out there. His step count's like under 100 when he plays a round of golf. He drives right up to the ball no matter where it is. It's pretty great.

Do you guys get any car path only on Friday after the rain showers in the morning? I was worried about you guys. I think there was like one hole that was CPO. I almost texted and said, hey, I really am sorry for secretly wishing that you guys had Carpath only since I couldn't play, but I didn't want to put it out there that I actually said that. No, it's okay.

I thought about you when I woke up to the pretty significant thunderstorm a couple hours before the tea time. I almost texted you and said, I'm really sorry for putting Carpath only into the world. It's okay. It's a good... It's not even a bit. It's just a funny thing about Will that I always think about in those situations. Dude, I hate Carpath only.

It does suck. It's just, it's the worst. I'd rather walk. I'd rather have my cart transported to a different hole, and I can just walk the cart path only hole so I don't have to sprint back and forth and bring six clubs with me every time. You ever hit a bad shot, and you hit it a little short, you chunk it or something, and the guy driving the cart's like, you want to ride up there?

And you're like, no, I'm going to walk. And you're like, I'm going to walk these 30 yards and just kind of think about it. That's going to turn the day around. I'm going to walk it up, and just kind of think about it. You know, like that's going to turn the day around. Like, I'm going to walk it up, man. I'll grab my putter. No, I hate it when you walk up and you don't have the clubs that you need, but you're like, whatever.

I just hit a shitty shot. This hole's over for me anyway. But you could just go back and get the club you actually need and put a good swing on it. But instead, you just derail the entire hole and then round. Let's double down. Because you're just angry and not wanting to deal with walking back to the cart. Let's make it worse.

Hey, let's putt with the wedge. You're putting for triple. May as well putt with the wedge. And, you know, if you make it, that's awesome. People will forget you were putting for triple. If you don't, he gave up. We'll give him a triple and move on. Yeah, dude, we'll put you down for seven.

You're gone. Fucking golf. I hope to play with you again someday, Dylan. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Let's get out of here. Good podcasting today, Dylan.

Hey. Don't cocky sip him as we say goodbye. It's been empty for the last like seven sips. You're annoying. All right, let's get out of here. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Outro Music