Circling Back - Iced Beers & Vice Headlines

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

Podcast Week rolls on with the return of a trademark segment: Real or Fake Vice Headlines. We also discuss a spider bite with wild side effects in Austria, Will's trouble with Twitter legal, the Shampoo Effect, icing down your beers, This Weekend in Getting Annihilated, and more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:02) Boner Spider on the loose in Austria (32:00) How Does The Shampoo Effect Work (40:00) Real or Fake: Vice Headlines (59:20) Ratio’ing Coming with a Price (1:05:10) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) Dunkin: Fall menu has returned! Groove Life: www.groovelife.com/steam (20% off everything!) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin texas my name is will defries to my left david roth you're talking to a guy who this morning went out on his back deck with his coffee just took a deep breath of that fall air rolling in 72 degrees borderline crispy um there's a hint of crisp the leaves were turning over i was watching it happen in real time they were like straight up turning over and i just thought to myself i think it's going to be a christian day of autumn oh yeah really what does that ent? Just pretty much me like going to church and stuff but when I go to church, I'll be wearing like riding boots and flannel heavy flannel and possibly like festival hats

One hat at a time. I'm not gonna stack them like the cartoon character And not like a Doug de Madone hat either just like a you know something that you might find on a patio how far i was at brim gone tell me when to stop oh my god really yeah yeah holy shit okay this guy's not fucking around yeah that's cool man they're gonna call me brim job rim job i hope they don't call me that at church yeah but it's just it's just nice to have fall here i like your journey that you're on 72 degrees man hey buddy i'll take it well it's gonna be 108 later today yeah it didn't last long

did it it only took an hour i looked at my thing it was like 83 i was like who settled here was like this is the spot and then they made it one someone. They were like, still the spot. Travis. What was the guy? Stephen F. Austin. Yeah, him too. I don't think he was here.

We just named it after him. Randy Travis? It was Waterloo first, by the way. What, the name of the city? The original name of the city was Waterloo, Texas. Objectively good name. Kind of sick, right? Sounds like a...

Yeah, but it kind of sounds like a... A festival? No, like... I mean, yeah. I was going to say a water park. That's why there's a lot of Waterloo... Things named Waterloo around the city. How you doing?

I'm Waterloo. Dan's dad. Dan's uncle. That's so silly that's good man anyway dylan chivalry in the building i am excited about the the little uh hint of a crisp being in the air dave it's kind of exciting the humid level the humid humidity i should just say i like humid level humidity is the word there uh noticeably lower which is great anyway new muggler new coffee muggler this is not the alabama i'm not going to talk about it i've been talking about that one a

lot this is a feet finder one uh they sent it to me you're such a cock they're trying to actively recruit me can you please can you get the feet finder box out of the middle of our office show us you just have to look at all the time why is that my job sell your because it's literally a package sent to you no it's not you know it is for everyone you're the person who they've been trying to get like just get the feet finder package out of here i need you to start selling feet pics dude this is bullshit you're like you're the ultimate get these boxes let's clear these things out guy and then you just leave your feet finder package sitting there if i could start a feet finder account uh without anyone i know finding out then i would absolutely do it but

that that's what i'm worried about is like people be like hey is that you on feet finder there is certainly an amount of money that i could be paid to put my feet online with my name attached to them to make me not care at all that people knew that i was doing that i think if anyone shamed you for profiting that much off of your feet that person is just jealous that's pure jealousy to me that's a flawed guy yeah but yeah but it's still there's probably a stigma about you know the guy who sells feet pics out there just banking hey better than a stink ma your smelly fucking feet i'm sorry i'm really yeah i guess i guess that's okay anyway i'm very happy to be here, but it's going to be a good episode, I feel like.

I feel like you're ordering. I just want you to go on Feet Finder. I was actually thinking about Feet Finder this morning and how you have to do it with your name, otherwise it's pointless. There's a way to do it where if I just fully embrace it and like a... You don't even have to do that.

How many people in your personal life read your Twitter on an annual basis? It would take like two tweets to get people in the a um you don't even have to do that like how many people in your personal life like read your twitter on an annual basis it would take like two tweets to get people in the door for you what about what if i just did like as an as a fun experiment i think we could also talk to the fee finder people about promoting you and making sure that you're like part of their promotional strategy as being a leader in the feet community they did say i didn't have to put my face in frame of the pictures yeah but you'd make more if you did yeah so i think that we might need to do that that's the deal breaker for me like if i was gonna get into porn and i'm not but if i was i'll be the guy who like blurs his face you know so you just see everything else no do that so so people that do porn are okay why are

they okay with showing their genitals but not their face because you can identify them easily that way i would imagine so there are various porn stars that blurs things out that's what people tell me i don't want that stuff i don't watch that dirt so there's certain are there certain forms of tentacle you have to get like edited out yeah you can only show seven are there like sexier tentacles than others yeah they gotta draw the line somewhere no i like the i like their uh branding and then i guess part of their marketing strategy is just sending you stuff because they've gotten a lot of pub here yeah i'm promoting them i should probably just promote my own i will say good color scheme on their logo i'll poke around the website see what happens yeah i'm glad i'm not like a foot guy

because i think i'd be jealous that like you had feet people after you if i was a foot guy myself but like i that's one of those things that i've truly never understood i don't know why they latched on to me the way they did i mean i do like objectively have beautiful feet like i do they're pretty amazing but how do they know that i've never like just put them on full display for everyone to see anyway i've never really noticed your feet yeah i don't look at your feet i'll show you they're great they're good feet they're good feet i feel like most feet are good Anyway. I've never really noticed your feet. Yeah, I don't look at your feet. I'll show you.

They're great. They're good feet. They're good feet. I feel like most feet are good feet. I feel like most feet are trash feet. You don't see a lot of dudes' feet in Texas compared to other states. Other states are a little more open to dudes wearing sandals.

We've got flip-flop guy in the building. I don't wear flip-flops. Why do you think I never wear flip-flops, man? But I think it's funny. People in Texas are so much more averse to showing a little toe. I don't wear flip-flops because that's a free show everyone's going to get. I walk around town. Everyone just follows me, like, tripping over themselves.

See that guy's feet. Holy shit. I'm just wearing my Chacos. You should be, dude. I will wear a Chaco on your ass. No, but you guys are Chaco-shy here. I am Chaco-shy. I wore them at the beach, y'all. You saw that shit. I feel like a lot of people wear them. I don't want to expose anyone here, but I feel like Kayla, when she was at Grand X

and had her take about dudes wearing sandals with pants, I feel like a lot of dudes at Grand X heard that and completely changed. I'm not going to lie. I know one guy who did her voice is in my head every time i look at flip-flops it's like she's so against it but to be fair she said flip-flops with with pants is and that is a bad look it's a bad look well you're talking you're telling uh brett does it i know brett i'll tell him to his face i don't care it's a it's a regional thing you have to i hate to tell you that it's a regional thing though I hate to tell you that. It's a regional thing, though. Okay. I see a lot of respectable people putting photos of dudes wearing pants and flip-flops on the TL. Brett also told me the other day that if he wears pants, he wears short sleeve. If he wears shorts, he wears a long sleeve tee.

What? He never goes shorts with short sleeve and so on. He's a weird fucking guy. and now that i think about it like it's accurate like he also has like 10 shirts that say jackson hole and i don't think he's ever been to jackson hole he's never been to j-hole you imagine he's been j-hole with jason i've never been i've only been for a work trip and it was totally fine i would love to go in my spare time. Not easy to get to. Let's do a listener meetup in J-Hole. Get two people there.

No, we can get more than that. I think we can get double-ditch. People might fly in. We could get some stragglers off the street. They're like, why? Why? Is there a bar tab here? And we're like, nope.

You have to buy your own drink. Pleasure to meet you. Please listen to our podcast. Also, you got to buy us a drink. One shot. Everybody knows the rules. Yep. That's buy your own drink. Pleasure to meet you. Please listen to our podcast. Also, you got to buy us a drink. One shot. Everybody knows the rules. Yep. That's right.

One shot. That's what we said. No pickle shots. No well tequila. I'll do pickle. I mean, I'll do it. I would rather do pickle than well tequila, to be fair. Ooh, not me.

Just a well. I can't. I don't have that cheap plastic bottle of tequila. I'll take it down. I don't care. I'm crazy like that, though. I'll party. Y'all don't party.

Shut the fuck up. That's the difference between us. Once I had the realization that the reason that, like, I get hammered sometimes with you is because you talked such a big game before. And now that I know that, I know that I never have to feel pressure to drink with you ever again. Can we go get really drunk soon? Oh, yeah, dude, for sure.

I'll get, like, toes dragging out of the bar drunk. No, you won't. Yeah, I will. No, you won't. No, you wouldn't risk your toes like that. That's true. I'll have my steel-toe boots on and protect them, but they'll be dragging. Yeah, I just don't want to get carried out of a bar.

I don't want to be with someone getting carried out of a bar. Hey, then guess what? Don't go drink for drink with me, Dave, because that's what I'm going to do. Last time I got carried out might have been my 21st birthday. No, 22nd birthday. And it was by two cowboys at the fucking Cowboys Arlington. Were you at the Dick's Saloon?

No, but they were wearing cowboy hats and they had like earpieces in and they were carrying like my Weekend of Bernie's ass out of there. That's sick, dude. Yeah. I love that journey for you.

Good dudes. Big announcement. Wilman's Polos available. Big announcement. Wilmonds Polos available. Broback.com. If you're watching this right now on YouTube.com slash circling back, you can see that I'm wearing a Wilmonds Polo right now, and I have to say it looks crispy. You make for a damn sexy model.

I'll tell you that. Those pictures of you are absolute gas. Are there bottles of rum on here? Yes. Are there coconuts with straws coming out of them? Yes. They're paper straws because we respect turtles. Question.

Is there any sticky mota anywhere to be found on that shirt? That's going to be something that people are going to have to go check out themselves. Some of these toucans might have little J's in their hands. And just red ass eyes too. Because they've been just burning, not concerned. The streets are saying it's the shirt of the summer. Yeah. I had Vogue hitting me up last night, and I was like,

no, player, miss me on that. Don't write up our Wilmonds polo. Vogue reached out to you. Yeah. That was quick. I don't support them, though, because Anna Wintour and Kanye, I feel like they still talk and stuff, and I'm out. Probably should have heard them out a little bit.

That's a cool opportunity. No, no, no, no. Go to rollback.com. Go find the Wilmonds polo. Go buy one. Support the squad. I can't say 100% that the promo code BACKER20 will save you on that particular shirt. Might not.

I think it might. It might. Who knows? But either way. Load that card up. Buy the shirt. Buy the damn shirt. Hey, Dylan's wearing a crispy white Roback polo.

You know how I do. And Daddy, I'm Daddy, Dave. I'm rocking the white rowback hat that is potentially my favorite hat i wear it uh golf course gym podcast yeah backer 20 20 off at checkout load that card up one time use code tell them uh circling back sent you yesterday we did a there's nowhere to do that on the website. Yesterday we did a little exactly five minutes over on the Patreon.

It was fun. It was a fun one. If you guys want to go hear a free preview of that, you can go listen to it on this very feed that you're listening to right now. Or you can just sign up on Patreon at patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast and you will be just absolutely flush with content.

We have a two-week trial going. You can sign up for 14 days, listen to it. You can do exactly five minutes, touching base conspiracies, listening to voicemails, old episodes of Worst Of, spooky season, whatever it may be. Just go make it happen. Also, it's time, my friends. You guys know what it's time for?

Is it Will's five-star review of the week? No. Oh. Is it Will's five-star review of the week? No. Oh. It's time for Will's five-star review of the week. Yeah, he had different emphasis than you.

Yeah, I didn't see that coming. Yeah, you didn't have the gasp from the audience or the... I don't have access to the board. No one wants me on that thing. No one. It's kind of like you and basketball. You do suck at basketball. I'll crash a board on your ass, though. Yeah, you will. That on that thing. No one. It's kind of like you and basketball. You do suck at basketball. I'll crash a board on your ass, though. Yeah, you will.

That's your thing. Yeah. This one's pretty forgiving to me, but I think it's forgiving to the entire squad as well. But he has a line that's a little... You're going to be like, Will, that's so self-serving. All I got to say is we need more reviews coming in.

Said, the friends I've never met. This is from MikeyTheKid4909. MikeyTheKid, what's up? He said, man, where to begin? You can discuss favorites of this pod, but they truly rotate for me. Dylan has the most infectious laugh I've ever heard. What's up? Dave has the best impressions.

Will's presence was evident while he was on vacay, and I missed his takes. I love all three of them. I've never been to a meetup but i hope to take one soon man that was from the heart thank you mikey the kid 4909 you're the man we love you we stan you mikey we try our best mikey he put his soul into that one that was beautiful thank you ma'am dude that's what's up they will buy you a drink at that meetup if you make it yep i like the idea of someone going on to row back to buy a shirt sorry i just i can't get past this and then just chatting customer support like and they're like hey how can i help you hey uh circling back sent me they ask you that dude they ask you okay they

would know like they'd like okay i know those guys there are certain sites that that ask you where you were that's true sent from that's yeah uh old fulton and rourke used to do it shout out to fulton and rourke don't do that i don't think right no yeah outstanding they do have an outstanding balance with us it's not that's okay it's okay but doesn't it more annoying when it's small it kind of yeah yeah. It's been there for like 10 years. Yeah, at this point, it's... We'll write it off. I still got some other product, though, like low-key, low-key.

This shit's good, man. I know. I can totally dunk on them. It is what it is. What Mickey Rourke did in The Wrestler, all time. Well, you wanted to talk about the Bradley Cooper controversy today, right? Honestly, just stumbled upon that this morning and I don't know enough about it.

And I'm not sure I want to talk about it even if I did know enough about it. Yeah, yeah. He's getting some criticism for a choice that he made. The tweet that I saw that I really liked, Dave, was that you can't blame Bradley Cooper for the prosthetic that was used on him in the movie. And it had to have come from a higher up.

So you have to go look at who directed the movie to really see whose fault this is. Okay. You know who directed the movie that he's in? I don't even know the movie. I don't even know what it's called. I don't know. It's called Maestro. Okay.

But they're blaming the director of the movie for this choice stylistically. And the director was Bradley Cooper. Ah. What's the prosthetic okay he plays a jewish man and the nose prosthetic that was used is maybe a little absurd looking based on what the actual person looked like in real life so it's based on a true character it is a real person a little too stereotypical yeah yeah and if there's a lot of comparison photos out there that you're like oh yeah what did brother cooper figure that out interesting yeah yeah interesting today's episode is brought to you by mugsy mugsy makes the most comfortable jeans chino shorts and joggers ever from buttery

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like chino pants too that are like really good looking as well they do kind of from the bottoms down they do pretty much everything well what i like about their denim too is that they don't just have like blue colors got some gray johns got some khaki looking johns nice whitewash yeah yeah buddy john's all right dude john's john's john's john's uh-huh i just go to their store sometimes i just have a beer with them yeah yeah yeah i just go in every day at five o'clock and what's up and then i linger there they have a poll i figured out they have a policy where they won't shut the doors if there's a Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just go in every day at 5 o'clock and look, what's up? And then I linger there. I figured out they have a policy where they won't shut the doors if there's a customer in there.

So I just drink there all night. They will toss you a Frosty Boy if you go to their store. That's something they do. Head over to Mugsy.com. Get 10% off now using code STEAM. That's 10% off some of the most premium jeans, chinos, swimwear, and shorts on the internet. Mugsy also has free shipping and returns, so there's absolutely no risk in giving them a try if you're in chicago boston uh dc or austin texas make sure to head downtown check out their storefront easy vibes every time and yeah you can have a beer while you shop um have you guys ever been to austria i have not been to austria beautiful place though

potentially when i was a baby Don't have any recollection. I believe that's where they filmed Sound of Music, David. Is that next on your list? I've seen it. Sound of Music is goaded. I know. I know. I'm not saying anything bad about it.

I'm not saying that either. I feel like the way that Dave was referencing it was kind of slandering. Yeah, what are you doing, dog? It's fine. Are you okay with Sound of Dave was referencing it was kind of slandering. Yeah, what are you doing, dog? It's fine. Are you okay with Sound of Music? Yeah, I watched it with my mom. The hills are freaking alive. It's like you don't even get it.

No, I do. They had that drip drip in that movie. They definitely did. Dude, when the nuns all pulled out the car parts from underneath their dresses, that was so savage of them. I liked it when the nuns stole the catalytic converter from the Nazi vehicle. Dude, it's swag. And they flipped it. Yeah, they made a healthy margin on that.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, have you seen the sequel of Sound of Music? The nuns actually pimped the ride. What did they pimp? What was... Quite the turn. We put holy water... in your car. We put an organ in the trunk.

They do baptisms out of the trunk? Yeah. We put a fire hose for baptisms on the front of the car. We put an organ in the trunk. They do baptisms out of the trunk? Yeah. We put a fire hose for baptisms on the front of the car. Man, don't baptize with a fire hose. I'm not wanting to tell you how to practice, but just trust me. If you do want to baptize your child with a fire hose,

please invite us. I will go to that. Remember the COVID squirt gun era? Do you? Wait, the what? Have you seen that picture? The you seen that picture, dude? It's a picture of like a priest squirting a baby. Oh, yes.

With holy water. Well, what's he supposed to do? Give the baby COVID? Get COVID from the baby? You gotta squirt it somehow? It's gotta be a different way. Detroit priest sprays holy water

from squirt gun. What if he had a super soaker? Just got the backpack. Those things malfunction after like a week. I honestly thought the backpack for those kids was more of a hassle than anything. Just got the backpack. Those things malfunction. I honestly thought the backpack for those kids was more of a hassle than anything. It took them way too long to reload, and by the time they got it done, you were just killing them.

They'd be leaking, too. Dude, straight up. Straight up. I feel like the tubes always had issues connecting the tubes. My tubes. Exactly. Exactly. This kid will never forget this moment that the priest pointed a weapon at his head. If you are the couple that had the baby get baptized via water gun,

do you get this painted into a Renaissance painting? Yeah, but I feel like when, you know, they kind of pandemic slows down and things go back to normal, you should be able to kind of come back in and get like the real deal. Yeah, this is begging to be just oil on cannabis, just a dope something you hang up above your fireplace you'll get that tatted across your back right now uh yeah that's just flat out not gonna happen so all right and you know what honestly i've been thinking about a tattoo all morning shut the fuck up

i have been i'm tired of hosting a podcast with two dudes who talk about getting tattoos and never fucking get tattoos. Hold on. I'm not the one who's been like saying I'm going to do it. You have to get the circling back logo with your face three times. You actually lost a bet. I'm just in a, I'm like spiraling. My issue for tattoos, it's not a matter of what I want at this point. It's a matter of finding the right person to do it.

I need to find someone that's like legit you know okay are you getting like a an extravagant piece done like a whole scene like what's going on aren't you getting the miss not gonna get an extravagant piece tattooed on myself i used to call dave that in college what did they call me the extravagant piece i was like a very very extravagant piece of shit. Like, that was the thing. They're like, dude, yeah, that guy's a piece of shit, but you got to hand it to him. Man, we're crushing this story out of Austria right now. Dude, to be honest, I'm in the suggested stories underneath,

and I'm finding more stories as we're reading. Like, it's great. An Austrian supermarket has been temporarily shut down after one of the world's most dangerous spiders was discovered in a box of bananas. The Brazilian wandering spider, which potentially roamed the aisles of a supermarket owned by the Rue Retail Group in a town 45 miles west of Vienna, was spotted. Bizarre side effect to this. Do you guys know anything about this spider?

Yeah, it gives you a massive boner. Okay, thank you for ruining the lead. A bizarre side effect of this spider's bites is its ability to cause painful, hours-long erections. The impact is so dramatic that some scientists have studied this arachnid as part of research for impotence treatments like Viagra. Yeah.

So this spider is just rocked up. I don't think the spider's rocked up necessarily, but it'll get you rocked up if it if it uh bites you oh no please don't no no baby oh no how how why is it painful that's what i don't get like why it says that it says that these are um painful hours long erections yeah at some point it becomes a is it the friction from the chinos if If you release, does it become less painful? You need to relax. We're all wondering.

You need to relax. It's like this wandering spider. Oh, man. Don't lay on your stomach. Why? Why would anybody do that if they had a three-hour long boner, David? I'm just saying. If you think you've been infected with the venom

just saying how many light years is like a 10 hour boner oh it's uh just a very small fraction of one okay okay how long would it take to for a satellite image of a boner to get from like here like our studio to nasa right uh you you know I don't know I don't really know how to answer that question but it is a fantastic question I'll get my best team on it okay yeah okay so why don't they harness the spiders venom for and treat erectile dysfunction the article says that they're gonna they doing that yeah interesting i wonder because in college you could do these um these little trials where they would pay like 500 bucks you have to go a couple weekends a month and they would just try out drugs on you put spiders on you you'd be basically a guinea pig i'm just

saying if they're looking for someone pushing 40 to test out said miracle drug, we might know some people. You're about to turn 40. The extravagant piece turns 40. So do we have an exact location of where these spiders are in Austria, Kölnrum? Should we just maybe... Oh, no.

Should we get some boots on the ground research? I think there are probably safer ways to achieve erection than getting bit by this venomous spider. It's worth a shot. You're saying pump? Penis pump. Those things freak me out, man.

You ever tried one? No. Absolutely not. I don't think I have enough exposure to them to get freaked out by them, if that makes sense. Expose yourself. We shouldn't name names for a number of reasons, but did yall ever have any like friends growing up who had like parents that were like they were known to be into some like kinky ass shit like they had like in their closet if you

went like into behind one rack rumors but nothing nothing verified okay we walked into a point did there was maybe someone who one time we might've found a tripod. Dylan's nickname in college. Set up in a funny place where we were like, why is that tripod? Oh, okay. Your parents are freaks.

Maybe they were birdwatching. And taking pictures. Sure. What percentage of couples swing, you think? Like married couples, established couples. Less than 10. I was going to say like max five for me. I was going to say four.

Like I don't know any offhand. You probably do. No, I probably do. But you don't know. Yeah. But like, yeah, I mean, I've never been propositioned, which like, if I find out that one of my couple of friends was like a swinger and they haven't propositioned me for me to only say no. I have enough trouble pleasuring one woman. Yeah, I just don't have that dog in me to sleep with my friend's wife.

I think you meet strangers. That's the safest way to do it. You don't have to phrase it like that. There are places around town that it's like probably known for like. All right. I think you meet strangers. That's the safest way to do it. You don't have to phrase it like that. There are places around town that it's probably known for. All right. H-E-B Westlake. Really?

Dave, can you give us the statistics that you found? 4%. Really? Yeah. Y'all crushed that. That was good. So while I was reading this other story, I found another story that I think we should talk about. Does it involve boners?

I would go to this. I would go to that grocery store and maybe walk out you know i don't know if i might go to the steakhouse if i got a real wild hair about me it says a japanese steakhouse in florida closed permanently following an incident last month that landed seven diners in the hospital and launched a narcotics investigation into the establishment you're probably wondering like what excuse me people went to the hospital from this this restaurant they must have had some good ass food no it turns out this uh restaurant um it had uh had narcotics in their um their their food what narcotics specifically meth oh come on does that happen? You know what?

Sign me up. Yeah, they found out that the soy sauce at the restaurant, both bottled and in the packets, had tested positive for methamphetamine. Dude, that's the worst. And that happens. We've all been there. How does that freaking happen?

Where did this happen? Florida. Where do you think it happened, dude? It's always Florida, isn't it? It really is. I kind of just feel like once you get off the plane in Florida, you just get kind of like a puff of meth in your face and just kind of get used to it.

What does meth smell like? I don't know if it's like that. Meth. Probably has a chemical. Chemically. What do you say about that one drug that you don't like? You like how it smells? No.

It's another cocaine joke for those that are keeping track at home. Would you be that upset if like, okay, you went and you got some Japanese steakhouse, maybe it's hibachi, we don't know. If you had a night, had some steak, maybe got dosed with a little meth, but maybe like the next two hours, maybe the next like six hours were very productive.

Maybe you went home and took apart your lawnmower and then put it together for no reason i don't know yeah it's not that big of a deal i probably wouldn't be very happy about that yeah okay if someone just gave me meth without my knowledge okay what about adderall basically the same thing right yeah so what's the big deal i know adderall's all i mean i like adderall hard to find allegedly that's what you were telling me not recreationally for the record oh no it's yeah when i get you know to do shit i'd anyway i'd have a panic attack right now if i took anything of this sort facts yeah dude i run hot i've been microdosing Zen. Really? So are you chopping up the Zens?

I am. I'm putting them in my own little pouches. 0.5 milligrams. How's your Zen journey going? It's so good. That's why I'm so dialed today. I believe it. I like that journey for you.

Thank you. Aubrey Marcus championed snooze for a while. Snooze was like, who made snooze? There's a ton of people that make snooze. Oh, isze just a generic term for yeah okay i didn't know if it was interesting oh baseball guy doesn't know oh the baseball guy i don't know if those were around back when i was yeah probably not swinging lumber we didn't use wood bats had a backer reach out to me today regarding something that you uh have enjoyed in the past. Not cocaine. What?

They reached out and said that they tried a Charleston Chew this morning on a flight. And they said how dank it was? They said it was one of the most mid-ass candies that you could have ever purchased. No. Yeah, bud. No. Yes. That ain't it.

Well, it's not as good at altitude. I don't know if that's an actual thing. All right. They're very good the the flight attendant walks up with the the cart they're like anything to drink sir where does your brain go immediately to drink yeah ginger ale i'm on a i'm on a plane yeah uh i'm getting either a uh whiskey diet coke or just a beer cerve cerveza. Whiskey, diet Coke. I was not expecting you to say that.

Okay, okay, okay. That's a good entry-level, like, all right, I'm on a plane. I want to – What if it's 8 a.m.? Oh, bloody. So you're drinking. I don't trust the bloody on an airplane. Oh, I do, dude. It's just vodka and tomato juice, nothing else.

In my mind, I'm – It's some of the most raw bloody you can have. I know, but I need i need like a slice of pizza in mine or like like a donut randomly sticking out of it a slider yeah i need a sloppy joe just draped across the rim so ridiculous man yeah i didn't eat a whole meal with my drink but thank you i think society's moved on from the extravagant bloody mary you don't see them nearly as much as you did i still maintain i might i think this is my best take ever i think my best take is that bloody mary should not be served in pint glasses they just need to be served in regular cocktail glasses they need

to be half the size they don't need to be this large it's a lot of sodium like a pint glass it's unnecessary that's so much tomato juice that's it's the perfect first drink of the day on a college football Saturday. Your first drink. I almost made one this morning. It was so crispy. You have one and that's it. Unless it's a little fella.

Then you do two. I can't remember the last time I went back-to-back Bloody Marys. It's usually one and done. I like a Bloody out of a Styrofoam. Wow. It tastes the best that way. Okay. Explain that to the sea turtles at Wilmots.

I'm sorry to the sea turtles at Wilmots, but it's the best way to okay explain that to the sea turtles at wilmont i'm sorry to the sea turtles at wilmont's but it's the best way to drink a bloody mary wow well you use plastic straws for that too wow mr single use no straw i'm sorry please please don't hold that against me drinks taste better out of styrofoam it's's just a thing, man. Beers don't. Except for beers. I didn't mention this on Monday, but I drank beer over ice at the golf course with our friend Ryan. I don't hate it. That's a thing he does

and it wasn't bad. I don't know why I don't do it more, actually. I'm not thinking about it. Keeps the beard colder. Waters it down ice b i'm against this just wanted i'm not gonna i'm not gonna go in but i'm against it also you're mixing in a little rinse cycle because there's water in no no just saying no no you don't need the ice in the beer also we tried to explain the shampoo effect and like i i couldn't explain it

it's i don't really understand yeah Yeah. Who were you trying to teach? I think Ryan or one of the guys who were playing with Stratman. Well, how did you explain it? I don't know. It was like – Who explained it? You're about to brick this. Who explained it?

Stratman explained it. No, I am going to brick it because none of us could really explain it. It was like, wait, is this when you have a little – Okay, I know the concept. It's the hair of the dog concept, but it's like when you get into the shower and you still have a little shampoo leftover. No, no.

Like we were like, we couldn't explain it. We could have looked it up. If your hair is like already somewhat clean, you don't need much shampoo to get it all sunsy again. Yeah. That's a great way to explain it. The oils in your hair kind of like absorb it all you know it's like a yeah when your hair is dirty as as then you get you need a lot of shampoo or just a regular amount of shampoo okay you'll you'll dumb dumb you know

where i heard shampoo effect first was kyle bandujo he wrote a he wrote a call i taught you i was shocked when you definitely i remember when this happened i remember being shocked being like how has dave never heard of the shampoo effect? What's going on? We whipped his ass for two minutes. I was a hair of the dog guy. Well, that's a different concept. Hair of the dog is to help with your hangover because you add a little alcohol to the mix.

I mean, they do overlap a bit, but it's a different theory altogether. I'm just on a different wave. Yeah. Okay. What was looking up shampoo effect yeah it says if you shampoo your hair and never repeat you know just how a tiny bit of shampoo will cause an instant lather that's the shampoo effect good work dylan good work thank you i to

be honest i didn't realize that was like the exact knowledge behind it i didn't doubt you but i never really put much thought into it outside of like a little bit of shampoo can go a pretty long way we never did that man we just dapped up we just stayed drunk yeah dude fucking hell yeah you can't fucking drink all day if you don't start in the morning god football i'm not trying to ruin like this weekend in fun or anything but like i think i'm gonna drink a zillion beers this weekend. A zillion? A zillion beers. That's too many.

You're going to put ice in them? They've been calling me Willie Bronson lately. Mix in some ice, buddy. Nah, dude. So the only time I've had beer with ice is when I had a chalada in Mexico. And I'm not opposed to doing that with a chalada, but I feel like if I'm just having a normal beer you can't put it on ice what kind of ice cubes are you doing here whatever they had

just ice cubes it wasn't like sonic ice what kind of beer was this miller highlight obviously obviously my high life uh yeah what you said shit just kidding you're allowed to have a kid they didn't have any miller highlife this was just try it will this is a ryan this is a ryan steven i'm not i'm not not me i'm i'm i'm against oh i'm with him i liked it i'm that dude who says i don't need a koozie dude i drink my beer fast enough oh yeah i can see dylan doing that you're drinking his beer pretty fast little i said this is all this talk's making me want to go get just annihilated and then wake up I can see Dylan doing that. You're drinking his beer. Pretty fast. A little isolated. All this talk is making me want to go get just annihilated and then wake up and start doing it again. Oh, dude, yeah, I'm sure. And then you'll have one beer.

Do you want to go out with me soon, bitch? No. Let's go drink for drink. No, I'm good. You can't hang on my shit. I'm good, dude. No. No, I got to save my energy.

I'm having this kid soon. I got to do what Donald Trump does. Okay. I got to recharge the batteries before i have this kid and i drain him again you don't want to tie one off with with your boy one last time the phrase is tie one on i don't i never understood it i was actually at a bar with you recently and i started laughing when you were waiting at the bar you started tapping your debit card on the bar and i was like wait why do you have a hilariously huge wallet and you were like dude i know i'm costanzaing this right now and i was like it's disgusting what are you doing i was like dude you need a new wallet dylan i have this awesome new company

for you it's called groove life today's podcast is sponsored by our friends over at groove life it's 2023 baby you guys still using the same wall from 2003 now it's time to update your wallet game with groove life the groove wallet is sleek low profile and engineered for everyday use one simple thumb motion perfectly fans out up to six cards and easy access to everything you need honestly i see a lot of dudes out there with one thing that they could probably upgrade and it's their wallet let me upgrade i feel like people are worried to upgrade their wallet because they're like oh like do i really need to yes you do a lot of people judge you on your wallet it's very sleek if you see a dude pull out some like messy gross wallet don't you kind of judge him a little bit yeah like what all is what all have you done to that wallet like how long have you had that like do you do you need

to have that same wallet from like high school my guy like what if you just dialed it in a little bit more do you need more than six cards in your wallet i don't think you do it's like you don't want a chain wallet it's like you don't want to be taken seriously when you show up like that these things are swag they're durable they're high quality aluminum outer shell the wall it's unlike any other wall you've ever seen they're just awesome go make it happen go make it happen they just launched a new attachment to the groove The Groove Wallet Go. It's a perfect low-profile companion for your Groove Wallet or iPhone 12, 13, or 14 that uses an innovative micro-suction technology. You've been really applauding the advancements in the micro-suction technology lately. Big fan of micro-suction.

Yeah. Yeah. And you can add another three cards plus cash, baby. A lot of these wallets these days, like like you can't fit a lot of cash in there you can't fit any sometimes it's kind of annoying plus cash homie yeah dog i always keep some cash on me you never know randy moss it's time to bring your wall into the 21st century head to groovlife.com slash steam for 20 off all groovlife products that's the best offer you'll find today but you have to use our link groovlife.com slash steam for 20% off your order. One last time, that's groovlife.com slash steam for 20% off your order.

Can I read something that Dylan made me think of? You know, Dylan talks a big game about getting annihilated. Always talking booty chatter about getting twisted all night probably. This tweet is one of my favorite tweets I've seen recently, and it's for you. Dudes be like, Vegas ain't ready for us. Like Vegas ain't ever seen four dudes in a Macy's button-down, split a room at Golden Nugget, and wait three hours in the club line just to drink a Bud Light, post a story,

then lose $35 on a blackjack table on the way back to the room. It's such an accurate portrayal of Vegas. I mean, that is a good number of my Vegas trips. It's an excellent tweet. Swap out Macy's with uh i don't know banana republic or something j crew j crew okay june 2nd 2017 did you just look up my shit i've been thinking about a lot today and i decided that after much consideration that i'm getting absolutely annihilated tonight i don't like i don't believe that you did that night how'd you

get so much action that's not a good that's a great tweet 2008 he probably retweeted himself or just fucking tfm may 4th 2018 i've been a good boy and i haven't had a drink in nearly a week and i'm happy to report that after much consideration i'm getting absolutely annihilated guess what i did that night i tied one off this guy he'd been a good boy hadn't had a drink in a week. March 6, 2017. Then I got back to the old me. Three hours of The Bachelor tonight. OMG, all the wine. I'm getting annihilated.

That's bad. That's bad. What's the date on that? Print that out. March 6, 2017. Oh, that's not good. Can you print that out? Are you going to throw it away?

I've got something I need to do with it. Oh, my gosh. Those are good. That's gas, man. T.O. was popping that day, thanks to me. I don't know who man up for LSU is, but he had correctly responded to your tweet and just said, by annihilated, you mean one and a half beers in the burbs. Oh, my gosh.

He got your ass, dude. That's fair, man. He got your ass. Nothing wrong with that. No. If you're in the right garage, that can be a great night. Yeah, it's true. God, I'm getting annihilated tonight.

It's fucking Wednesday. We're going to do some original headlines. Oh, my gosh. Dude, that sounds great. Wait. Headlines, Dylan. Dude, that sounds great. Wait, Dave, are we doing headlines, or what are we doing right now?

Headlines or what are we doing right now? Headlines. I like to comb the internet for fun content for this show sometimes. And it occurred to me earlier that it had been a while since I'd hopped on our good friends at Vice's website. Vice, known differently. Like Vice Golf? Like the Eric Anders Lang thing? No. Is he? I don't know it just

seems so jason i kind of like vice golf balls what are they swag uh they're okay he definitely did a giveaway for him at some point don't care so this is vice headlines and why don't you explain it don't what's going on here yeah thanks dave i would love to yeah vice is a an online publication been around for a while and they're known for having kind of these outlandish stories and accompanying headlines to go along with them might be about uh you know adopting uh or a child from some you know no that's probably not good but like they'll go to like they'll go to like a war-torn country and they'll sure they'll trip on lsd fuck yeah and uh they'll write about it yeah like that and so the headlines

are just kind of just wild ass is wild ass that's the best way to say it um so yeah i don't know i was trying to go with that first dude i fucking hate it when people adopt kids from other countries no but like a journalist shop don't adopt a journalist shouldn't adopt a child just to write about the experience. Okay, that's fair. Okay, okay, okay. That's where I was trying to go with it. You got there. You got there.

The plane just wasn't landing. I put you on the spot, man. You did. I did my best. Hot seat. I think they get it. All right, so I'm going to read some real ones that I pulled from vice.com, and I'm going to read some real ones that I pulled from vice.com, and I'm going to read some fake ones that I put together myself.

The results, they might shock you. Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay. The Mile High Club still exists if you count hand stuff. If you count hand stuff. Why would it have ever stopped existing is that just a i just think nobody's fucking anymore people are still hooking up on planes but you had to think there was a dip in hookups on planes during covid yeah ongoing also there's so much

weird shit going down on planes i feel like i feel like every plane ride has someone getting jerked never been me every plane ride i feel getting jerked. Never been me. Every plane ride. I feel like everyone. You can convince me. Randy, look that up. You can convince me. What percentage?

There's a hand job on every plane ride. Yeah. No. That's just not true. You can convince me. You could just pull a blanket up. I'm going real. That's fake.

That's a fake headline, David, because you're horny, and it makes sense that you would make it up. Imagine if you got bit by that Austrian spider, and then you got on a plane like 30 minutes later because you know how planes be with the blood flow action downstairs you dude that's what that's that might be why like there's so many people getting hjs on planes dylan because the nrbs on planes are running rampant. The Mile High Club still exists if you count hand stuff. I said real. I said fake. Well, Dylan,

you naive, beautiful bitch. It's a real headline, dude. Really? Oh, I'm up 1-0. Fudge, man. Forget about it. Okay.

I feel like people are still having just full-on intercourse on planes, too. No, man. There's too many people looking at the bathrooms these days. Dude, the bathroom's too tiny. Yeah.

And like you – like I feel like every time I walk up to the bathroom, people are like looking at me like when's this guy going to be done? Hurry up, dude. PJs though. Shit goes down on PJs I'm sure. Private jet. HJ on a PJ? Hand stuff.

Hand stuff can mean a lot of things. All right, let's do another one. Will's up 1-0. I'm keeping score. How pegging gets women in India to stick it to the patriarchy. I'll read it again. Peg, okay. How pegging gets women in India to stick it to the patriarchy.

Not familiar with what pegging is. Dave, tell them. We'll get up, Randy. I don't know what that is. Can someone explain to me what that is? Tell them, Dave. Randy, look that up, bud. Does this have to do with like one of our friend's moms, Peggy?

It's when a woman... I don't want to say it'm gonna go fake i'm gonna go fake i'm gonna go real on this one i'm gonna go dave started off two horny ones back to back and he probably made it up i'm gonna go real i want to i'm going fake i don't think they're sticking it to the patriarchy in this way oh well i hate to stick it to you but it is real that's right let's fucking go one-to-one bitch do you ever look it up buddy he knows what it is he won't look it up he won't look it up this guy okay it's one-to-one one-to-one we start off strong day those are good i googled it the wikipedia page uh there's a wikipedia page about it oh god they have a cartoon that really kind of really puts it out there for you it's been a lot of places in popular culture per the wikipedia page

do you have another one dave i do i spent four days in a dumpster to get photographs of megan and harry was it the dylan's covid dumpster picturing that it's hilarious your covid dumpster still there every day i sent you a picture not long ago no one said anything um it's probably because i have you muted here's why no context dumpster here's why i think it's fake i just feel like there are other means of getting a picture of them without waiting in a dumpster have you all watched the new black mirror what's up with that paparazzi episode yo papa paparazzi not what i was asking you to do what's up with that paparazzi episode i didn't like it remind me that what happened

i mean i saw but i just saw a celebrity um i don't want to ruin it for anyone out there a celebrity was being uh scouted for some paparazzi photos but is that celebrity okay oh yeah yeah yeah okay i'm gonna go real dave i going to go real, Dave. I'm going to go real. I like the idea of someone waiting for four days in a dumpster. This is a fake headline, but I wish it were real. I kind of agree with what you said, but I'm still going with real. How Dylan got his groove back. That is a fake Vice headline.

Let's fucking go. Whatever you just did there, don't do that. Yeah, he's doing a thing. If you're not watching on YouTube. You should be. Yeah, just did there don't do that yeah he's doing a thing if you're not watching on youtube you should be because yeah maybe i don't know i want people to go but if they see that they may not all right so it is all tied up randy randy's keeping the score what is it dylan's up one i'm keeping the score motherfucker i'm sorry don't you dare i'm the one smoking cigarettes motherfucker i might have a party at the Moon Tower this weekend. You're not going to do that, man. Meet the 20-year-old millionaire who found God in a Wawa bathroom.

Fake. Wawa. That's a Northeast thing, right? Philly-ish. I'm going Northeast. Northeast. Fake. I've never been to a Wawa.

I've heard good things. I respect Wawas. It. I've never been to a Wawa. I've heard good things. I respect Wawas in the game. It's got Publix level fanhood. Oh, it's a grocery store. I believe it's a gas station slash grocery store. So it may be less of a grocery store. I apologize. Dude, have you heard of these Pub Subs?

They're like the best thing on earth. Oh, man. Oh, dude. I love the Chicken Cordon Bleu Pub Sub. I can't leave Publix without one. Convenience stores, gas stations are located along the East Coast. Operating. That's a real headline.

What did you say, Will? You said fake. I said fake, dog. We've gone against each other every time so far. I'm saying real. I hit that wah-wah pedal on you, dog. Fake. The name bothers me.

Wah-wah? Oh, man. Yeah. Wah-wah. Oh, you're going to Wawa's? We'll get us my pups up at the Wawa. It's different. You conflated two.

But, yeah. I said real. Is it real or fake, David? Fucking let me. Dylan, you fucking dumb motherfucker. Damn, dog. What the hell? You were doing so good.

It's tied up, it's fake how do you oh it is how do you find god do too i don't know there's a number of ways maybe he didn't that's a click through a bar oh he didn't find god maybe he didn't all right something about that i found god once in a mysterious place at the corner of something in boulevard okay shot david gray let's go we're not doing david gray quotes here okay so that's very on brand for you i don't know david gray i don't know if it was actually david gray he came on shuffle recently and i did not press forward was it babylon babylon's a good song dude that entire album kind of goes that's some shit dylan will be listening to in his headphones real loud yeah what's going on no Babylon? Babylon is a good song. Dude, that entire album kind of goes.

That's some shit Dylan would be listening to in his headphones real loud. Yeah. What's going on? No, dude, I don't listen to this shit. I was listening to it to make fun of the guys

that listen to it. No, I had to listen to this James Bond song extremely loud. That's something I would say for sure. No, dude, I heard that fucking dorks listen to this

so I had to see what it was all about so I could make fun of them. That was pretty good. All right, all right. That's a good impression. This pizza parlor uses crust made from recycled boy scout uniforms no false what can't eat kids uniforms yeah don't eat kids uniforms man you don't know what they do in that shit this pizza parlor uses crust made from recycled boy scout uniforms is how's that

edible it's climate friendly you can't eat uniforms man i guess you could but like you can't be known as a pizza place unless the uniform is made of dough serving minors clothes are uniforms made of fucking dough yeah welcome to minors wardrobe cauliflower cauliflower pizza stinks baby it's not that bad though like it's i'm not saying it's like i'm not saying it's a worthy replacement but if you're in a pinch like it's not that bad, though. I'm not saying it's a worthy replacement, but if you're in a pinch, it's not the worst. But okay, Will, you bring that up, but if I have cauliflower pizza, does that mean I've...

The text is clear on this one, David. The text is clear. You're the judge, jury, and executioner. I don't know why you'd ask me, dumbass. It's a Socratic method. What about a pizza hot pocket? That's Socratic. You ever burn your mouth on a hot pocket we all have david that's the whole thing i got the scars to prove it what do you think if you look in my mouth if they did a spotify rap for things that

you burn your mouth on yearly what do you think would be like the top it's always pizza it's pizza every time it's pizza related yeah i don't know i haven't eaten a bagel bite in a very long time. Oh, wow. We get it, dude. You're badass. Oh, you can afford real meals, dude. This guy eats. When was your last bagel bite, bitch? I don't know.

I made some for Rhodes not long ago. Did y'all have any bagel bites at J-Bone's party? I saw bagel bites floating around, right? Oh. Randy confirmed it. Well said. His microphone is not working today. Micah probably broke it by swallowing it the other day.

He'll do that on you. Sorry, Randy. Did you guys both say fake? I said fake. Can you reread me the headline, please? This pizza parlor uses crust made from recycled Boy Scout uniforms. That's fake. We both get a point for that.

Yeah, that's fake. You can't serve point for that. Yeah, that's fake. You can't serve children's clothes. Yeah, what is it, cotton? I don't know. It's recycled. Carbon neutral. It's not nutritious. All right, geez.

Get off my fucking ass, this guy. What's the next one, bitch? Coming to your senses. Is post-nut clarity legit? An investigation. How is coming spelled? You know how it's spelled. Spell it.

Give me the headline one more time. I think we should not talk until Dave spells it. Coming to your senses. Is post-nut clarity legit? An investigation. You familiar with post-nut clarity? I am, but for those who don't know about it, how about you just go ahead and tell them?

It's when you get a bunch of clarity post-nut. Okay. No, really, how is it spelled? Take some Claritin so you don't swell up. How coming in spell might affect my answers. I'd actually like to know. Dude, they should do a post-nut Claritin ad campaign. That's so stupid.

It's not bad, dude. C-U-M-M. Your boy needs an antipistamine. I pee a lot. That's the joke here. Pistamine. My pee's been different late night lately. I'm sorry, why?

I'm like patting myself on the back being like, dude, good pee. That is a... You're so hydrated. Real Vice headline, David. I'm going fake. We're tied up, you know. Yeah, that's why I'm going fake, bitch Well, let me tell you how Vice spelled it Because it is a real Vice headline

Let's go! C-U-M-M-I-N-G Pretty immature Pretty immature How many do we have left? A lot Well, we can do as many as we want Well, I just want to make sure that i have time to shoot okay keep shooting um the vice guide to

having sex during a heat wave without getting a heat stroke what just go in the ac people having heat stroke the vice guide to having sex during a heat wave without getting a heat stroke they have a global audience still, and you can't just say go into air conditioning. They might have people in Vienna, Austria. They don't have boners they can't get rid of, and they're just fucking them with no AC. They don't have AC units in Vienna?

They don't have a lot of AC in the European countries. Okay. Fools. You think fucking Mark Twain was just sitting there in AC in the middle of summer? It starts off what a vice something or the vice guide to having sex during a heat wave without getting a heat stroke heat stroke excuse me you're fake can i read you no i'm going real what's that it's fake

i'm gonna go real it's fake what is it uh it's real yes and uh i gotta say what is that what do you call the little i don't know the byline but like the sub headline sure header sub header what's the dom headline it says uh actually can i okay it just says the ocean is getting warmer in my coochie is getting drier they still have it they still got it that's what they put yeah they still got it they still got advice right now i'm happy for them how we doing we all tied up yeah we're all tied up should we do three more game let's do three more all right let's do three three more shit i went to rainforest cafe on a heavy dose of psilocybin okay um this is a this is a dave real special written all over it unless you just he looked into one that he would write himself this is a this is a dave real special written all over it unless you just he looked into one

that he would write himself this is a fake why is this real i've seen some i've seen some rainforest cafe stuff pop up because we talk about rainforest is back because we talk about rainforest cafe and you are always on psilocybin everybody talks about it and everybody's doing mushrooms these days if you call me willis it's a fake one it's a fake headline that could be the next roback release, The Will of Sivan. What did you say? I found God at the corner of

First and Amistad. I just asked what you said. That was the fray. It wasn't David Gray. I said fake. He said real. It's fake. Yeah, you're right.

It was too Davey. I don't even know what that means. He's mansplaining your headlines to you, Dave. I know. Don't fucking take that shit, Dave. I'm going to take away an integrity point. Yeah, I'm giving myself an integrity point. It's still tied up.

Randy, you keeping track of the integrity points? All right, a couple more. Everything we know about Freon huffing culture in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. No. Actually, I'm going to go real. Everything we know about Freon huffing culture in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I'm going to go fake. I'm going fake.

Are you big dopers too? I don't know. The only person I know who did Freon was like Dave's random friend who I don't actually know. It wasn't my friend. It was a guy at a high school party I was at. Acquaintance. Call me a square. It wasn't acquaintance.

I didn't know like huffing Freon did something to you. Yeah, it's not good. Don't do it. It feels dangerous. I'm going fake. It's like a great way to kill brain cells immediately. I never did it. I think there's a good chance this is fake,

but I'm going to go real just to give you a chance. Just so the last one means something. Don't give me a pity point. What if it doesn't mean anything? Go on, Dave. Davey was in his little Dave bag because that's fake. We both said fake, right? Yeah.

Somebody said real. No, we were different. I said fake. I said real? I can't remember what I said. I scaled back. You said real. Okay.

I'm almost positive. Five-five. All square. Five-five. Okay. You said real. Okay. I'm almost positive. Five-five. All square. Five-five. Okay. Next one wins. Next point wins. Here's how to have sex on the beach without getting sand in your box.

I've always wondered how you do that. Not really. Kind of. Are you having sex in a sandbox? I'm confused by the headline. Sand just gets everywhere. Sand gets everywhere. You hate sand.

I do, but imagine it being in your box. I don't see any issue with sand being in a sandbox. It seems like that would be where it should be. Tell them what box means. Go ahead. This is a good finisher. I like it.

What is it? You have honors. I'm going to say that's a fake voice headline. Davey? Dylan wins. That's fucking good. That's fake. Fuck you.

That's a good one, man. It's fake, and I'm sorry I thought of that. I could have gone That's fake. Fuck you. That's a good one, man. It's fake, and I'm sorry I thought of that. I could have gone the other way. Fuck you guys. Can I read another, a real one just for fun? Yeah, give us the real reels. Is faking your death the latest way to get clout online? That one guy did it, remember?

Is Lil Tay alive or dead? Lil Tay is alive, and I'm almost positive. I haven't looked into it, but they definitely did that for the clout, right? And the guy who showed up in a helicopter to his own funeral. Remember that? Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Not long ago, we talked about it.

He's like, surprise, I'm not dead. Now how do you guys feel? Not good. It's almost like people watch a really popular television show and won't say any more. I don't want to ruin anything for anybody oh okay well that was fun then is there any more real ones how to organize a gangbang okay that sounds right yeah i guess i don't know how it's like you guys send out the invitations handwritten preferably. Party favors.

DJ or a good playlist. Just a lot of things you have to think of. It's like planning a wedding, but instead of a wedding, it's just multiple people doing the act of sex. Fuck it. Thank you. Fucking suck it. Thank you for explaining all that.

Well, some people don't know, right? You know, so. I woke up this morning to something not great. I'm sorry. I woke up to an alert that was letting me know that my Twitter account was temporarily suspended. This note also was accompanied by an email that said that I had violated something and I was getting a DMCA violation.

I don't know what that stands for, but I know that you don't want these because if you get too many of them, it means that your account can get permanently suspended. Ooh, it's a little scary. That is scary. it's a little scary that is scary it's a little scary what'd you do bitch and so i did some research into the lawsuit that i saw happening in front of me not lawsuit just legal documents and i started researching i did a little control f and i found the tweet that they were referencing alongside a lot of other tweets from other people. And I found that this tweet that had been reported was in response to you, Dylan. Interesting.

Yeah, it wasn't, I don't think I was responding to a tweet about you getting absolutely annihilated that weekend. But from what I could figure out based on the date that the tweet was sent and based on the files that were on my phone, I think that 50 Cents in the Club was playing over a video of a short young man

dancing in a European club. And I was ratioing you. And then I must have used that video more than once because I received a second DMCA notice this morning to my account about two minutes after that that was notifying me that i was getting dinged twice for the same video which is really good feeling it's interesting um not only did i report you i was gonna say i wrote a strongly worded email to twitter did you report me to elon and i said

this this bitch are you tired of getting ratioed into oblivion i said this bitch will will not stop uh attacking me and he's using these this music that he shouldn't be using and I think you should give him a little spank on his cute little behind. Well, now I get to spend my lunch break going through tweets where I've tried to ratio you and I get to delete them all so I don't have to get my Twitter account suspended. But part of me is also like, should I just get my Twitter account suspended? Is it worth it?

Twitter's just bending you over and spanking your bare butt. I'm okay with it. Honestly, I could probably do something really special with my life if I took all the time I spend on Twitter and applied it towards something else. Here's the thing that you don't know about me. I've been playing the – this is the long con. And the only way to really re-ratio somebody is getting their Twitter account taken away. So, yeah, my plan is finally coming to fruition.

While I do respect your plan, I have to say as someone – like everyone in this room kind of some some interest in will keeping his social media accounts i just don't like do numbers anymore on twitter as much as i used to you're not zeding right yeah i don't zeed as much you gotta zeed hard i'm gonna buy a check mark and then hide it so i can get back up on the algorithm people aren't seeing my shitty i got some dope shit going on people just aren't seeing it try are your annihilation tweets getting uh yeah can we put those on the paywall did you get shadow banned for trying to get annihilated too much dylan actually sent me a text in the middle of this podcast and it says can we change the name of the segment to um this

weekend and getting annihilated uh so what's gonna happen are you in trouble with elon he's gonna i don't know i looked it up it used to be three you got three of these i will spank your bear you used to be three. You got three of these. I will spank your bare butt. You used to get three of these. I read today that you get six. And so I think I've already had one if I'm not mistaken. So I think I'm at three right now. But it's like a perma ban, right?

I think it might be. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's not good. It's bullshit. Are you going to stop ratioing? Well, here's why. It's bullshit.

It is actually bullshit. Out of all the social media networks out there, and this is just going to be some social nerd talk for you real quick, Twitter's the only one who has not worked with these recording companies to license out their music like you know when you go on you make a reel on instagram you can just choose a song and you can do it and it's licensed it's fine twitter's the only one that doesn't do it and so they get people suspended for having videos with music on this can go anywhere from you just putting music over a video which i technically legally you shouldn't be doing like i should have never posted that legally also because you're

really you're being really mean to your friend dylan um but you can like technically you could even get in trouble for posting like a concert video that's so dumb you should get in trouble for that that's actually yeah good point dave good point but yeah it's soft it's it's it's a weird thing that if Twitter just did what the other platforms did and licensed the stuff out, then we could all just

live in harmony. Not have to worry about DMCA notices. But they won't do that because they're fucks. They are fucks, Dave. Famously fucks. I want my checkmark back.

It's time for This Weekend in Fun, presented by our friends over at Dunkin'. As of today, guess what? Pumpkin's back, baby. It's August 16th. Pumpkin is back at Dunkin'. You may be thinking, ooh, it's too late.

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I'll tell you. Pumpkin cake donuts, pumpkin munchkin donut hole treats, pumpkin muffins, not to mention the maple sugar bacon breakfast sandwich, which comes with a fried egg and white cheddar cheese, baby. That sounds delightful, and I might need to revise my breakfast sandwich question from yesterday. I also got some big news for all you hot weather people out there. They got it on ice.

Hot or ice, Dunkin's bringing back its pumpkin swirl, a flavor you can add to any drink for that added fall punch. Head to your local Dunkin' today and put some fall in your life, no matter what the temp is outside. Holler it, Dunkin'. Dude. Dylan, what you getting into this weekend? Thank you for asking, Will.

I am fairly wide open, I would say. I've got parks on Sunday. Might do a little family day. Saturday morning, I'm playing pickleball for the first time ever. Not only am I playing pickleball, but I actually get to see my friends this weekend, the ones that are sitting to my left, Will and Dave. They're coming with. We're your coworkers, man.

Oh. I thought we were also boys. Strictly professional. Yeah, I'm playing pickleball, man. I don't know. I might be really good. We we'll find out i might be just a total natural what's the pickleball fit we're going to a an upscale uh establishment so i think i gotta go a rollback polo i don't hate you wearing like that shirt the exact shirt that you have on right back or 20 i think that actually works for you for 20 i'm putting on my wimbledon swag damn we're gonna be a white in here damn yeah

that's all i really have at the moment i it's i don't have much man stay that's still something it's something uh i i my phone will be charged up ready to go if you guys want to holler at me that's awesome yeah i'll be ready hopefully you make it to pickleball given how you're going to get annihilated oh yeah i forgot oh yeah getting annihilated uh friday so i'm going to be hung over for pickleball i might throw up everywhere but that's okay that's a good place to puke i think so that's going to be the name of my autobiography a good place to puke story of will to freeze that's good it's kind of gas i've been puking in 2023 man i haven't puked in a very long time i puked more in 2023 than i have since i was a kid my tum tum right go dude yeah it's weird it's kind of lit it's not really lit makes you feel

better in the morning at least i wish you could borrow my tum tum sometimes is this all alcohol related pukes you're not that's the thing uh the yeah the times that i have been puking it has been alcohol related but it hasn't been like i'm annihilated like dylan it's more just like i take a sip of something it doesn't sit well and it immediately comes up i think the closest i've been to puking in the last year was uh riding in the back of an uber specifically a tesla uber and uh the person just the driver had no concept of like stop and go it was very much like back and forth and i i got nauseous man i was gonna have to pull over and blow chunks yeah a little nosh so what do you guys want to know about my weekend tell me dude yeah So what?

Do you guys want to know about my weekend? Tell me, dude. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. There's a dinner potentially Friday night out at a place that I may have just gone. And we might be running it back there. We'll see. It's congee.

I don't know if it's happening. We got invited. And got to talk to the wife. Saturday, I too am playing pickleball and I can't be compromised for my first attempt at pickleball because I want to be good at it. I don't like not being good at stuff that I try.

I got news. You're not going to be that good. Okay, well, fuck you. I will be getting a fit off. We're thinking crew socks. I might go buy some ons. You familiar with on um yeah i'm honestly overthinking the fit i've been thinking about it all morning

um after that who knows probably going to go home maybe have a beer over some ice might go get some sonic ice just to see what that's like you've read sonic ice they're known for it i'm so anti-iced beer okay we'll see if we can change that at uh pickleball i'm not drinking ice i'm not drinking beer on ice at 8 30 in the morning will you drink a bloody maybe after am i asking you to get not doing pre you like i'm asking you to get annihilated i have to tell you about my entire Saturday. I got a big Saturday lined up. Okay. I can't just be sitting at country clubs drinking Bloody Marys like I'm a desperate housewife.

I might need to go out there with the boys. I got shit to do. Other than that, man, it's going to be low key. We might hit Lifetime Pool Sunday, Sunday morning with the fam. Hey, holler at me. We'll probably be there, man. But we go between 10 and 11. Well, I have access to that pool at the same time.

Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, just don't be annihilated around the family. I'll have fun. Okay. Don't be annihilated around us, though. I'm going to be heavily drinking.

You can't drink there. I know. They sell alcohol there. Honestly, I have a pretty good hamburger, too. Yeah. Sneaky good. All know. They sell alcohol there. Honestly, I have a pretty good hamburger too. Yeah. Sneaky good. All right. What do you got?

I'm doing absolutely nothing Friday night. I have not been invited to any restaurants, and I don't have a lot of ambition to start anything myself. And so I'll be doing nothing Friday night. Saturday I'm waking up, 8.30 pickleball sesh. I do think we're going to have to separate me and the guy who invited us, Ben, as I think he and I are the only people who have played pickleball before. Oh, so you think you're better than me?

You think you're better than me? I would say that my tennis skills from high school translate over to pickleball probably better than your baseball. Yeah. I stink at tennis. I'm not too worried about it. It's more about getting you guys some reps in you know this isn't for me i just i just want to avoid getting hurt that's fair but i've got a feeling

sunday morning i'm gonna have some soreness and some weird i will be stretching i'll be waking up at about 7 a.m and stretching i hope you get a minor suffer a very minor injury okay this is gonna take you out of commission for this may age This may age poorly. 1130 that morning, Manchester United plays Tottenham Hotspur. My brother-in-law's a big Spurs fan, and I think we'll be watching the game together. I truly hate Spurs supporters. I think they're probably the most annoying people out there because they have no ground

to stand on because they just don't win trophies. I just hate that club overall. I'm really excited to beat them. Then that evening, if I check my schedule, oh, yeah, there's – this might be a heat check for your boy. Sometimes you kind of have a realization that you might take a hobby like a little too far. Okay. that you might take a hobby like a little too far okay there's a grateful dead slash fish cover band playing downtown for a really cheap ticket price and i've reached out to a friend of ours and said

you know what maybe it's a good excuse to go have a beer downtown so i might be i might be going to a band called a touch of tray what's the venue uh there's a little bar underneath moody theater uh that just has smaller acts go and play there really yeah they're not very popular like this like the touch of tray band has less than a thousand followers on the igs so we're gonna go just suss out the city what's the place called 310 never heard of it it's new oh it's new it features up and coming acts so i think i might just go make a pit stop have a little beer see some see some riffs got nothing to do i've heard they're actually better than dead and go yeah that's kind of the word on the street do you get that do you get the double entendre of the name of the band, Touch of Trey. Touch of Grey is a Grateful Dead song.

And Trey Anastasio is the lead of Fish. So Touch of Trey pays tribute to both of them. You get it? Wow. Big brain stuff, dude. That's pretty sick. You want to get annihilated with me there, Dylan? You going Saturday? I don't even know if I'll make it there.

I'm going to a Goose cover band. I'll probably be icing my torn quad from Pickleball that morning. Just iced beers, iced quads. The boys are doing it. I love that journey for you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

No, it's a Grateful Dead cover band, not a Journey cover band. Oh, okay. Not a mess. Yeah. I might holler at you. I don't know if it'll happen, but's i it's i'm it's been on my calendar for two weeks now and i thought you know if i don't have anything to do maybe i'll go support some local musicians yeah so they're local i don't know i think so whatever they're playing

local i do plan on uh probably eating some tex-mex on sunday i'm going through my enchilada era right now again holler at your boy are you saying you're off i'll do the same thing um it's here how can i put it nicely you had a bad experience the blackened fish taco is good it's not an everyday order there though like it's just sometimes you got to get absolutely filthy with it and eat some just nasty enchilada i do love their enchilada sometimes you got to get absolutely annihilated and eat some enchiladas. I agree. I agree. I agree.

All right. I'm on that tomatillo sauce grind. Oh, yeah. Better day. I'm about to pee myself. We should probably end this thing. Bruschetta. Giacomo.

Bye.