Circling Back - Jaguar Selfies & Car Pukes

Episode Date: March 11, 2019

A breakdown of the woman who got mauled by the jaguar while trying to take a selfie, a Worst Weekend Story about a soon-to-be lawyer puking in the back of his co-worker's dad's car, and Dave buzzed his hair. We also gripe about SXSW in Austin and discuss Country Will. Support us on Patreon and receive episodes every Friday for just $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:28) Jaguar Attacks Woman Taking Selfie (29:50) Dave Buzzed His Hair (41:17) Country Will Reads “Sun Daze” by Florida-Georgia Line (52:05) Worst Weekend Story Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (free refill pack for signing up) MyBookie: www.mybookie.ag (STEAM for 50% deposit bonus) Twitter: www.twitter.com/circlingbackpod Instagram: www.instagram.com/circlingbackpod Visit: www.circlingbackpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast monday is it the 11th i don't even know what day it is daylight savings time today is the 11th lit my name is will know what day it is. Day like savings time. Today is the 11th. Lit. My name's Will DeFries to my right. Dave Ruff. Did y'all get your Soulja Pods yet? No. Are those AirPods by Soulja Boy? Yeah. Or are those Jewel Pods by Soulja Boy?

No, these are AirPods by Soulja Boy. He's doing everything. Yeah, I don't know if they are on the up and up. I'll say that. Okay. I looked into this. Looks like they come from somewhere in China. They what from China?

Come from somewhere in China. Okay. And could be some patent infringement. I don't know. I'm not going to make a legal determination right now. I'll just give more of an advisory. Have you tried to DM him just in case he needs legal help? I feel like this could be a loophole.

Yeah, I told him I would do it pro bono. Dylan, have you copped your soldier pods yet? I didn't know soldier pods was happening. So no, I have not. And I will not be doing that either. I didn't know they were happening, but I'm not surprised that they're happening. No, like you said, he's doing a little bit of everything right now. Have y'all used air pods yet?

No. No. I will never use them. Sally got some for Valentine's Day. You're about to endorse the fuck out of them. I didn't think I would like them. And I'll say this. I don't like them for just like listening to music.

I don't need that. They are phenomenal for phone calls. If you're like hands-free, you're on a laptop, you're doing something, it's just great. Here's my question about AirPods. Is the sound quality better than the standard wired uh earbuds that come with apple phones apple products not sure because i feel like if you're paying all that money they should be you know superior quality sound wise apparently sometimes you can hear the faint sound of like am or fm radio in the background actually no our airpod listeners said that you couldn't hear them

on air yeah that's true they did so shouts to Apple for toning that out. Well, if you're interested, check them out at soldiersstore.com. Huge. This is not Spawn, by the way. No, new sponsor, Soulja Boy. That'd be good. I just want noise canceling. So I have no need for those to listen to music. If I'm on an airplane, I want noise canceling headphones.

Did you watch the Jimmy Iovine documentary? No. When they were talking about launching Beats and how to design their headphones with Dr. Dre, they were like, okay, well, we don't want to do noise-canceling. Those are for old people on airplanes. They're against it. They're like, we just want loud-ass party headphones.

That's kind of my brand, like old person on an airplane and it kind of talks me out of going noise canceling why i don't know they did that because they're cheap dude like they're just being cheap noise canceling are awesome yeah i'm a little confused by that statement i watched that and i don't remember that yeah huh noise canceling is awesome especially on an airplane not even for music for like movies it's the best yeah the best thing about them is when they cancel noise

yeah I understand they're pretty cool that is the cool thing about noise canceling headphones the noise is just canceled hey noise you're canceled I'm here for that noise

being canceled hey noise thank you next but then the bow no we need to go off on headphones yeah go off on headphones

the Bose headphones. The noise-canceling ones. The battery-powered. What the fuck is that? No, that's just mine. Dude, I got some for Christmas once, and I exchanged them because you have to keep replacing them. It's like double-A batteries or shit.

The new ones are not. The new ones are chargeable. Okay. Yeah. I was way put off by that. They're expensive, though. I was shocked that they did that. Yeah, they're so expensive.

Get the fuck out of here. I'm not buying batteries at the store. Once the rechargeable ones I was shocked that they did that. Yeah, they're so expensive. Get the fuck out of here. I'm not buying batteries. Once the rechargeable ones came out, that's when I got the battery ones because they were cheaper. Okay. Broke boy. Yeah, for me.

I heard that the Beats ones have like additional weight in them to make them feel like nicer and more sturdy. It would not surprise me. That's just smart. Yeah, no, definitely. Like if you pick them up

and they're really light, then you're like, oh, these are shitty. If they have, like, a roll of quarters in each year, then you're like, oh, these are fucking legit. You think that's what they do,

just a roll of quarters? Yeah. It doesn't seem cost efficient. No. Yeah. It's like they could do a roll of something else that's not worth 25 cents a pop.

That's how much Dr. Dre's making on them. He can just throw a roll of quarters at them. Did y'all ever roll change as a kid, like, into the little paper thing and take it to the bank no but in high school there was a guy who wanted to fight another guy on our baseball team yeah and he was waiting in the locker room for him and he had a

roll of quarters in his hand and he walked in and he just popped him right in the face and dropped him yeah that was the thing that was that was because nobody was hardcore enough to have brass knuckles and the guy who got punched he's actually i think he's retiring now, but he had a run in the MLB. Really? Yeah. Yeah, the rule of packing your fists like that, that's a dirty move. It would not surprise me if that guy's done some time in the clink.

He was kind of sketchy, as you can imagine. Did he sell shitty weed? No, he was just the kind of guy, he might murder someone one day you know one of those guys just a little off not very good at baseball you don't want to put out murder vibes that's not a good look wait so you're in high school you show up you know to the schoolyard for a fight the schoolyard schoolyard you know no one's saying schoolyard but then you find out that you know you find out like so you're like looking at the

dude you take your shirt off, your backpack, and you're like, dude's got a roll of quarters, packs his fist. What do you do? Oh, he surprise punched him. He was walking into the locker room, and I think, his name's Derek. Derek was just waiting there.

Demon. And he walked up and just popped him. Do you rock? That's assault. That's definitely assault. Yeah. A roll of quarters, man. That's dangerous, man.

Yeah, fool. Did you ever know anybody who, this is a tangent, let's not do this. What? dangerous, man. Yeah, fool. Did you ever know anybody who... This is a tangent. Let's not do this. What? No, this is going to go down a path of how dangerous it is to hit somebody in the head. And if you were to knock somebody out, they hit their head on the concrete. That's why I don't fight, dude.

These hands, they're deadly. Yeah, you have to warn people before you step up. Fighting is pretty terrifying for that reason. People get... Dead. People get hurt. People get dead. People get hurt. People get dead. That's the point of fighting.

The videos that are popular on the internet now of kids letting their friends hit them in the face and just get knocked out. Watching them fall, I get so nervous because you hit the ground after you're already knocked out. You could be done. Yep. It's very scary. You could catch someone in a temple. Is that true? Well, I mean,

there's not... We used to always say that if you got hit in both temples at the same time, you're dead. Yeah, we used to just say that if you just pressed

on someone's temples at the same time, you could kill them. Let's try it. That was like second grade. It was so stupid. The fuck were y'all doing in second grade?

Devising... Devising... Yeah, apparently. Devising up plans. Yeah. Let get some uh stuff out of the way this friday did that fun and easy banter go on too long no it's perfect six six minutes and 39 people love free and easy banter yeah it's fun and easy fun and easy it's also free and easy as well well except for the spawn that we did with soldier boy it was for yeah dude i'm so pissed off about that this friday march 15th eisenhower's we're having a little get together it's not like an official party or anything just come squad up we're just gonna take over a section of the place and just you know

do hood rat shit the l daves will be flowing i don't think we're doing that did you see the thing i actually i was kind of bummed last night because i i wanted to tweet it with this caption but somebody had already commented it on our subreddit. It was the bang energy mixed with vodka. And it's just called in all caps, the Dave. That's not my burner account, by the way.

I saw somebody said that. I mean, that's that drink could not have grossed me out more. The fact that it was made with pop off was just disgusting. That, that seems like a great way to just spend the entire night vomiting like but not vomiting anything of substance where you're just vomiting like dry heaves the occasional stomach acid by yeah like bile yeah those are the worst either way if you want to come and drink some l dave's

some uh david chinos maybe even just a regular dave eisenhower on Rainy Street, 7 p.m., March 15th. We'll be there. Also, what's the deal? Is there a cover? I don't know. There's not a cover. How do you know? There might be a cover.

I don't know. We could probably ask Mike, the guy who owns them. These are logistics that I don't know yet. But just show up. Dylan will pay your cover. Look, there might be a little bit of a line. Yeah. Actually, I can pretty much guarantee you there will be a line.

That should... Show up early. Show up early. It'll be fun. We're going to be there early. Yeah. I'll be there at like 6.50. I'm going to be there at 3 p.m.

Yikes. Well, I'm doing a panel before. Oh. Yeah? Yeah. Innovation and media. Are you going to do what every single other person at South By is doing right now and just bird scooter there with a lanyard just going in the wind behind you somebody's going to

get knocked out with a row of quarters on a bird scooter people are not happy about the bird scooters i've already resolved that i'm probably going to accidentally kill somebody on a bird scooter just driving because people are like idiots right now it It's the worst. Yeah. I, I, we went to dinner Saturday night and we could have driven and I was like, you know, I don't even, we're not even in the heart of South by stuff where we're going. I don't, I don't want to drive. I don't want to risk it. Yeah. Parking situation, running over dudes on bird scooters. It's just not worth it. It's not great. No. not great no also pretty bummed apparently

one of my all time favorite bands played a show Friday had no clue nobody told me who? Rage Against the Machine

Will what? where? there was a South by Rage show how do you not text me about this? I saw it on our good friend

Brittany T from The Bachelor she just had a post that said stumbled into a Rage Against the Machine show. It was for the ACLU, which makes sense. This is why I don't like South By.

It pisses me off because I would have gone to that. Well, the thing about South By is like, it's all about like maneuvering yourself and figuring out where to go and like scheming. And I would rather, if there's something I want to go do, I would rather just pay money to go do it and not have to like have like the weirdness of like, ooh, there's a secret pop-up show happening in... I don't think it was a secret, though.

Oh, it wasn't? No, it's probably... But for the future, if you ever see that Rage is playing in Austin, somebody let me know. Yeah. Was there a parade of bulls going down 6th Street or anything? Probably. Man. You didn't know it was my first concert?

No, I didn't. Oh, with Limp Bizkit. No, no, no. It was supposed to be with Wu-Tang Clan. Wu-Tang dropped off the bill. The Roots Band, the legendary Roots Band filled in. This is in like 1998. Huge.

And I remember it like it was yesterday. Coca-Cola Starplex, rest in peace. Also, I think an apology is due. To anyone who didn't get a shirt, we apologize. They dropped on Patreon. We're going to have to strategize together as a group and get a brain trust going and figure out another way to get some more shirts

in the hands of the people out there. To those of you who did get some, congratulations. To those of you who didn't because they sold out in 15 minutes uh we were just as surprised as you were even though we might we probably shouldn't have been we just didn't know that's the thing people are like why didn't you get you know 3 000 shirts for all the patrons we just didn't know yeah and that's a lot of shirts to ship it at the you know at the same time first of all we probably should have ordered more. We just didn't know.

We didn't know. We don't want to keep thousands of dollars of merch on hand. It's not moving, you know? We are going to get together, and we're going to figure out a way to get some more of these made, and we'll figure it out. So just keep an eye out. We'll be doing more frequent drops. If you did buy one, it's going out soon. Just keep an eye out for it.

You'll have it by the weekend. Or on the weekend. One of you'll probably you'll have it by the weekend or on the weekend one of the two you'll have it uh but yeah thank you to everybody who did it and uh finally are you guys aware that one of the most important things we do for our health every day is brushing our teeth yet most of us don't do it properly are you aware of that it should be common knowledge at this point it's sad that it's not quip is a better electric toothbrush created by dentists and designers it was designed to make brushing your teeth more simple affordable and even more enjoyable uh they have sensitive sonic vibrations that are gentle on your sensitive gums i'm a sensitive gum boy surprises no surprises yeah literally nobody uh a lot of people brush too hard and some electric toothbrushes are just too abrasive but this one it's different it's got a

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And three out of four of us use bristles that are old, worn out, and ineffective. I just got my refill pack the other day. Boom, new toothbrush. Didn't even have to think about it. I mean, it's just convenient. It's fantastic. It sure is.

Yeah. Everything's automated these days. Make sure your toothbrush is too, I love it. We love Quip and it's backed by over 20,000 dental professionals. Quip starts at just $25 but if you go to getquip.com slash circling back right now, you get your first refill pack for free with a Quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack free at getquip.com slash circling back hey you guys see that this jaguar attacked a woman trying to take a selfie at the zoo

you know it's crazy we're pretty much pot committed at this point to any big cat story that makes national headlines we have to get into it by the way he's not in town for south by dm'd him who's the jaguar that attacked? Big Cat. Oh, okay. If there is a... Right when we started talking about Big Cats and stuff, I was like, all right, we got to tone it back a little bit. But the amount of... We had a two-week stretch two years ago

where it's all we wanted to talk about. Dude, now every single person is just hitting us up. And they're like, all right, let's do this. It's almost annoying when something like this breaks. Because my mentions are just done for like the next two days. What's shocking is how many idiots are out there who are just still getting attacked by big cats. Well, I was surprised when I woke up Sunday morning and saw this. That Twitter was letting that video just play.

Because it was way more graphic than I expected. I guess in retrospect, when I saw that it was a jaguar attack, I should have been prepared for the laceration. Her wrist was split wide open. It's gross. What was that? Was that like a layer of fat?

Just tissue and muscle. I don't want to see that tissue and muscle. No, I don't think anybody does. Can I read a couple paragraphs from the news story just to give people out there who aren't familiar? Yeah, let's set the stage. This is from the New York Post. Oh, the pillar of journalism. They are, truly.

A selfie-seeking lady tried to take a photo with a jaguar by breaching the Big Cats enclosure at an Arizona zoo. And her arm got mauled in the process. Rural, metro... Oh, my God. This is a hard... These are hard words to read out loud in succession. Rural Metro fire officials said the woman in her 30s was trying to take a photo of herself

near the fence of the Jaguar enclosure at the Wildlife Zoo in Maricopa County on Saturday evening when the animal swiped at her arm. Video of the aftermath shows a woman with a deep gash in her arm writhing on the ground and moaning in pain. Wait, question. I was under the impression she crawled into the pit or whatever. I didn't know she was...

This happened through the fence. That makes it much... Witnesses have told zoo officials the woman had crossed over the barrier to get her picture. Did she cross over a barrier or did she cross over the... No, no, no. Where he was. She was still outside of his enclosure. I thought homegirl crawled into the thing. But there's a barrier or did she cross over where he was? She was still outside of his enclosure. Oh.

I thought homegirl crawled into the thing. But there's a barrier. She did climb over something that was like, no, no, no, seriously, stay the fuck back. Okay. She's not as dumb as I thought she was. I mean, she's still dumb. But I thought she was like, oh, I'm going to go pet this thing and get a selfie off with it, which I would have respected the hell out of, but it would have been dumb.

But think of the gram, you know? No, like, that's the thing. You got to think of the gram. If she was in the enclosure, she'd be done. Yeah, she'd be dead. It'd be over. She'd be dead. Considering that there was a fence, you know,

a barrier between them. And he's already doing that damage? Yeah. Like, with a fence? And he still got her that bad. And he must have just dug a claw in and just ripped that shit. If that's what that does to your arm

imagine if he catches you in the throat on your throat yeah you'd be dead just a swipe doesn't even need those teeth I do want to give

a major shout out to the wildlife world zoo director Mickey Olsen who said that they will not be euthanized in the wildcat oh thanks Mickey

it was not the animal's fault why would that even be an option harambe harambe was escaped right no a kid jumped in a kid jumped into the oh that's right i'm thinking of harambe i'm thinking of there was a dallas one that happened at the dallas zoo that got out no there was another one too i it wasn't a gorilla but there's another animal that got euthanized.

And it was because of an interaction like this with somebody. And they euthanized it. And everyone was like, what? Dude, it wasn't that animal being the animal. You want to sell Harambe shirts? Dude, let's do it. I'd rather sell Valerio shirts. What's this one's name?

Do we know the name of the jag? Why has that not been? Be something Jag? Why has that not been? Be something tight. Why has that not been anywhere? I think it's like Wendell. And to the few of you who are like, oh yeah, Dylan, he thinks you could take one of these things. People are misrepresenting that.

I didn't say you could take on that. Nobody loves. I could take a Jag down. I love giving you shit about that, but you never said you could take a Jag. I said the Cheetah is the biggest, most badass one I could take. And it's like the bitch of the big cat family. So in the big cat power index, where does the Jaguar fall?

Oh, it's top three. So it goes, it's like tiger, lion. Yeah, maybe Jag. Jag rounds out the top three. Are we Jaguar boys or Jagwire boys? I say Jaguar. Jaguar. Jag rounds out the top three. Are we Jaguar boys or Jagwire boys? I say Jaguar. Jaguar. Jags are cool.

They're just stocky and muscly and just fucking bad. Do you respect that she was trying to get a sick gram off? Yeah, we've all climbed barriers to get a gram. I said that. You've got to respect the persistence on getting in there and getting a jagged glamour. She didn't get any life-threatening injuries, so you could make a case that it might have been worth it. Did she get the pic, though? I need to know that.

Did she? You have to think so. Let's get that camera roll. Let's see what's going on in there. I want to see the live photo of that so all i could think about as somebody was just hovering over this girl who was writhing in pain was when dylan fractured his leg trying to dunk or get rim and micah just hovered our old producer micah just hovered over him over him with the camera who is the person just shoving a camera in this in this they said that they just that they distracted

the jaguar with a water bottle and they pulled the woman away but at that point like dude the guy the guy taking the video like he was serving a purpose he's not going to sew her arm up like what so he's just going to stand there like a dumbass no like at least videotape it must have been like a vos water probably they don't drink they should switch to plastic and i just can't support that no one's switching to plastic can you recycle it yeah i'm sure you can but but a lot of people probably don't could you used to not be able to recycle plastic and that was like a big deal and now you can i don't even know what you can sally will look at our recycling bin and be like well

you can't recycle this and i'm like it looks fine i usually just dump my electronics in there yeah like your laptops and stuff like old printers yeah i mean if there's like if there's an actual like photo of her with it i need to see it oh we all yeah here's the deal she owes it to us uh we were talking about like where is it on the power index right it's not going to compete okay it's not going to beat a lion or a tiger but i think if you asked a lion or a tiger do you want to face a jag in the squared circle or in the octagon no because they know it's gonna it's a bad matchup it's gonna be a tough fight it's gonna be a five round fight oh they get respect on the street yeah there's no there's no doubt about it did you all see that speaking of respect on the streets did you guys

see that video of those that uh pack of male lions just yes walking down the street oh my god was that technically a pride i don't know because it's all classified as a pride because because they gave me pride it made me feel good but is it a pride if it's all like is a pride just a collection of lions or you have to be like a family of lions i think it's just a group of lions that's probably a pride then man what were they they were just flexing on the whole community flexing the whole community was like nah we can't do this yeah what okay where what kind of situation was that that looked like a safari was that set okay it was set up for spectators you can yeah i know there are some where you can drive your own vehicle through i don't know what i think that's what it was was it a setup or was it like were people just driving

in africa and all of a sudden these no no like, no. That would be cooler, obviously. That's what I took it as and that's what I'm going to keep taking it as because I don't want to think of it as a setup. We're just going to shut the streets down and just gang walk through the hood and just put everybody unnoticed. That's what it looked like. Should we tweet that from circling back pod and just be like us walking to Eisenhower's? Who's the fourth? Micah or something? Intern Klein?

Man, that's a cool video. They were just like, yeah, you're going to get out of our way, and we're going to take as long as we want to walk down this road. Okay. I saw another animal video since we're doing this. Yeah, we're doing it. It was a male zebra trying to drown a young male zebra, the offspring of a competitor male,

trying to drown it. And it got away. Dude, what? Yeah, he was trying to prevent, because he knows that thing's going to be coming for the throne one day. So you got to take it out. Oh, damn. Yeah.

Got to keep your dominance. Well, they say you have to watch the throne. Yeah. They do. They say that. That's why, like, bears eat bear cubs. Male bears. It's fucking wild out there.

You're telling me, Dave. You think what really happened, though, is that Jag, he saw her taking that pic, and he just packed his little paw with a row of quarters and just walked up and just... Just mollywhopped that bitch. I don't know if he had access to a row of quarters. I'm not saying he didn't, but it's probably unlikely. I don't know, man. He just blindsided her. Can we talk about the back tattoos on this chick?

That's the big L in this. The cut's going to need some stitches, but the tattoo stitches... At least she didn't have a tat on her arm that got lacerated. All I saw was a short video. I didn't see any... I don't know how you missed it. Her back tattoos might have been worse than

the laceration. What were they? They were trash, Dylan. Tramp stamp? I think like a tribal tramp if I remember right. Yeah. She had the low-rise jeans with the muffin top happening. It was just a really bad look for her. Yeah, she didn't expect right. Yeah. Like think of the most... And she had like the low rise jeans with like the muffin top happening. It was just a really bad look for her. Yeah, she didn't expect this.

Yeah. It's never a good look to be like laying on the ground like rolling around in pain. But like when your pants start to slide down and then like your hips start to come out, it's like, oh shit, you're taking all the L's right now. Nobody looks good after a jag attack.

That's the thing. Speak for yourself, Dave. Have you been attacked? Don't worry about it. You don't want to talk about it. yourself dave have you been attacked don't worry about it you don't want to talk about it no i've not been attacked i'm just i imagine i would let's just go on to the next thing dylan's more of a cougar attack guy i see what you're doing i don't like it i'm saying what actually this actually makes you sound younger i'm not doing an old thing that's true yeah you should be supporting this am i too am i too old to qualify for like someone being cougar status for hitting on me yeah fuck yeah i think we're all we all are that's that's unfortunate we're skewing towards

being like we would be closer to the cougar yeah i get it yeah yeah especially you i think if a cougar is like a 45 year old yeah but if, but if you're 21 and you're at a bar, and someone of our age starts hitting on you, you're probably going to call them a cougar. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, shit, we're cougars. Yeah, like we're cougars. Oh, my God. Yikes. This was a depressing realization on a Monday morning. The Jews aren't cougars though yeah yeah what do they call the what's a male cougar i don't know a divorcee damn why you gotta come at me like that dog wow dude i was just i wasn't thinking of you in that terms i

was thinking of more of like a guy that looks like bob stoops that's hanging out at a bar like with like flary uh no hanging out hanging out at the capital grill flary... With Bob Stoops. No, hanging out at the Capitol Grill bar. You know what I'm talking about? Is he wearing a visor? No, but he just looks like Bob Stoops. He has the neckline of Bob Stoops. He's got a terrible neckline. Exactly.

He's got a weak jawline. Very. Yeah. And then he's just buying bottles hoping that a girl will come sit next to him. Speaking of... He's the type of guy that'll ask a girl, like, hey, why don't you come sit on my lap?

Speaking of Oklahoma Sooners and poor jawlines Josh Heupel the coach for UCF has the worst jawline in probably America poor guy

dude can we not talk about America can we not talk about jawlines because your boy doesn't have a good one wait how did we get

on Josh Heupel wait why did you have that so quick at the helm because he's just a really unfortunate looking man. We're just putting everybody on the wire.

I'll show you a pic. I used to do weak jawline March, because March was the month where it's like, okay, I actually need to start working out and doing stuff, getting my winter jacket off. I'm showing them a picture right now. Find me a worse jawline. Dude, that's my jawline.

No, it's not. Dude, if you cut his head off at the at the nose that looks like me without a beard you're right josh heupel terrible jawline he just after college when he was obviously in decent shape because he was a quarterback uh he just completely let himself go hey that's okay though if you do that that's that's cool it's hard to get that jawline back if you're a coach though I feel like if you're a head coach somewhere like you have to let yourself go

like you're just watching tape I disagree man I don't know they spend all that time around you know weight room

yeah look at Cliff look at Cliff Coach Burrow Lincoln Riley's in good shit look at Cliff you should look at Cliff I'm not a Cliff guy who's he coaching now

Arizona yeah is it because his fake deep voice does he have fake it's more fake than dylan's fake deep he's putting it to holly saunders right now is he he's too small for that confirmed yeah he's a tiny boy compared to her what do you mean a tiny boy isn't he i just feel like she would tower over him he was a d1 quarterback so it's gotta be at least six so what's uh what's his fucking face and he's like five foot three that's true kyler murray yeah he's like 210 wait wait a lot happened here in the last 10 seconds what do you mean holly saunders is uh i've just always pictured her being like oh first of all she's probably five six he's probably

six one what's the problem he's okay what's his list at six he's listed 5'6". He's probably 6'1". What's the problem here? No, he's... Okay. Which he's listed at 6? He's listed... There's no way he's this tall. He's listed at 6'3". He's not 6'3". No, he's not 6'3". I have stood... I've seen him in Lubbock, Texas.

Yeah, I've been behind the sideline at a Texas UT game, or Texas Tech UT game, and he is not 6'3". I picture him being 5'10". I've been to the Bottle Blonde with him. We all have. He buys bottles. Hey, what... I know that Holly Saunders was kind of flirty with him on Twitter. She's 5'10". I've been to the Bottle of Blonde with him. We all have. He buys bottles. Hey, I know that Holly Saunders was kind of flirty with him on Twitter. She's 5'8".

I'm pretty sure they're like a thing. Okay, cool. Or at least just, you know. I feel like, you know. Getting it. She's older than him. Is she? I think she's a coug.

Wait, how old is he? Probably 37, 38. She's got some work done. Well, you know, she looks good. She does look good. She's not my type. Cliff Well, you know, she looks good. She does look good. She's not my type. Cliff Kingsbury. Oh, okay. As per... She slid into my DMs once and I was like, girl...

Let's go to combine numbers. Cliff Kingsbury is dating Fox Sports personality Holly Saunders as of January 10th, 2019. Whether or not that has changed, we're not sure. Wow. Good for him. Sneaky shouts to Cliff. And he's about to draft Kyler. Let's fucking go.

I don't really care. What am I saying? Holly Saunders is a lot. Hey, what were we talking about? I hope she's not a Dell match player or something. We have to face her. I hope she is. I'm trying to find Cliff's official combine height which as we know can be gamed dude i i competed in the combine yesterday

i just i just sat around drinking kombucha for about six hours it was the combine i'm gonna let you fish yourself out of it it's a combine joke do to if dude listens he'll appreciate it. Yeah, this website that I'm trying to... It's not working. You know, I found Colton's... Our friend Colton from The Bachelor.

I found his combine scores. You see that photo he tweeted this weekend? Him working out? Yeah. Yeah, I have an issue with it because it looks like it's from the same workout

that he posted a gram from the previous week. Not only the same workout, like the same gram from the previous week not only the same workout like the same motion but just in a different portion of the exercise he's he knows where the money's made don't get me wrong he looks jacked and it's scary seeing somebody that jacked and agile knowing how big he is in real life yeah that's fair like he's a thick boy yeah we're gonna move on this is not working is tonight a three-hour episode? It's a two-night special.

By the way, he hit 225 26 times. It's really good. It's better than me. Which makes sense. He's a big guy. Yeah. He's barrel-chipped. We should have had him try to rep out at Cowboy.

He could have repped me out. Shouts to Cowboy. Hey, rep me out, Colton. He's going all in Ari. He called and repped my boy out over here dude you mind bench pressing me for the gram dave you had a big weekend it wasn't weekend of dave but you did something this weekend that you've been talking about for probably as long as i've been talking about watching game of thrones what did i do i want to, you need to be the one that breaks the news. Was this Friday I did? Oh yeah, Friday.

Yes, it was Friday. I made a pit stop. I went into an establishment. Some of you guys maybe have heard of it. It's called Supercuts. And I paid $18.99, not including tip. I did tip very well because she was very nice. Not to brag.

You're bragging about her being nice? No, that I tipped very well. I won't disclose the amount because I don't discuss my finances. Like 25% on 1899. Dude, she fucking hit it big. I made her weekend. I did. I got a number four.

I buzzed my head. I assume you did it yourself. No, I was scared to do it myself. Why? Because you have to do up the ears in like the sideburns and i'm not oh yeah no i wanted the first time to be i wanted a good structure to be there are you happy with the results let me say this i've never felt more at peace can you can you echo what you told us before the podcast about like why it's so nice to have this done because i have the option of just going straight from bed to here the gym

the gym anywhere really obviously i'm going to brush my teeth wash my face and stuff but not having to worry about my hair looking greasy or just being in a bad spot before I go out in public is great. Not having to worry about the wind blowing my part the wrong way. And then more importantly, not getting out of the shower and seeing the thinning part of your hair matted down and getting really depressed. That's a poor way to start your morning off. Well, I mean, even from my perspective, I've never had issues with hair loss or anything. Okay, great. But what else?

Getting out of the shower, like it still looks like sometimes I'm like, oh shit, like am I thinning? Like it looks like scary. I would love to get a shorter haircut, but I'm just afraid of what I'll look like if I try it. Because like you said, like I don't like wearing a hat on the golf course. And if it's, if the wind's kicking up out there,

my hair gets mad scientist level. I like to have the option of not wearing a hat, but I'm probably still going to wear a hat because a, I'm not, I don't have all these Snyder Jans flow and no, he can pull it off. And B, I still,

I don't want the top of my dome getting sunburned. Cause that's just bad news i can't imagine how bad that would hurt i've had it like once what's what's the worst part of your body to get sunburned top of your feet i think so really oh for me it is well it just limits your foot like if you put on a sock you're in you're in pain i've never even felt that it's weird yeah but you're you're like a tan boy so I'm a tan boy. I have burned before. It takes a lot, but I can sunburn. Your neck and your ears are always bad as well.

Your neck, yeah. I've never had the head, but I imagine it's... Oh, that's too bad. Absolutely fucking miserable. It's pretty nice, man. Dave knows what I'm talking about. Come on. Hell yeah, we're dapping right now.

Stop. Come on, man. Just kidding, Mom. Dave knows what I'm talking about come on hell yeah we're dapping right now stop just kidding mom yeah I know I know you know people are gonna be excited to see it come Friday Eisenhower's

I think they're excited to see it what Friday I'm just saying like you know when Friday rolls around I thought it'd be more jarring well here's the deal

I got it done and I walk in Alyssa was like oh she's like okay she's like I thought it would be more jarring. Well, here's the deal. I got it done. And I walk in. Alyssa was like, oh. She's like, okay. She's like, I don't know why I pictured it being shorter, like Walter White. I was like, I wasn't going to bick it. No.

I'm not there yet. And then we go to dinner with Ross, Ross's wife. Did anyone say anything? Nobody said anything. And then I go, Alyssa brought it up. And I go, yeah, are's wife. Did anyone say anything? Nobody said anything. And then I go, Alyssa like brought it up and I go, yeah, y'all gonna just sit there and they're like,

well, we didn't know if it was like a, they were like, we didn't know if it was awkward because like you were, you know, basically saying you're losing, I don't know.

Dude, that's the first thing I told you when I walked into the hotel the other night. I knew y'all would say something because y'all had just, y'all been giving me shit because I, we got the clippers out.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that that short i just went with a number four it looks good man i don't it feels good i you know i hope it looks okay does that is that is number four like in relation to like the the thing or that like that's the guard special that's the length okay yeah it wasn't i didn't know i didn't pick it off a menu lower the number i don't know super cuts man you never know yeah i also supersized it have you ever gotten a haircut The special. That's the length. Okay. Yeah, it wasn't. I didn't know if they had like a menu there. Lower the number. I don't know. Super cuts, man. You never know. Yeah. I also supersized it.

Have you ever gotten a haircut with clippers before? Yeah, but I've never explicitly told them what to do. Like, I've just said, I want my hair to look like this. And then they said, do you want scissors or clippers? And then I'll say, uh, clippers. You just brought in a photo of the Ameritrade guy from the commercial and said, hey, can you make me look like this guy? Dude, I like that i mean i look like that dude but that guy's like that guy's a doughier version of me you have to admit that at least right please just say yes yeah yeah for sure okay thank you thank you i will say that i i feel like i need to like

have more positive facial expressions i have what are you talking? You know how y'all give me shit for never laughing? I feel like I don't smile a lot. So with this haircut, I definitely look more pissed off. You look more Russian spy. Yeah. And I don't want to seem less approachable. If you walk up on me and say hi, like, Hey, love the pod. Love what you guys are doing.

Glad y'all are back. I'm not going to have, like, a roll of nickels in my hand, and I'm not going to, like, slug you. Why nickels? Just to mix it up. Yeah. Like, because I don't want to knock you out, but I want to let you know, like, hey, bro. You're not approachable. Oh.

It's not the song. Yeah, you do have a pretty dry demeanor when you're, you know, saying hi to somebody. Like, it's just uh you just don't have a whole lot of expression you want me to be more wet yeah get wetter with me dave dude i dropped i dropped the word moist the other day uh at brunch and every single girl like shuddered i had no other word to describe what i was describing though what were you describing uh they started power the same day that it decided to heat up in austin from being like 40 degrees to being 70 degrees you said it's moist outside they decided to power wash our apartment oh god uh

there's some sections of our apartment that are just kind of like foyers or entrances and the windows on all of them just got this like dew all over it and i didn't know how to describe it other than like everything's just kind of like moist and gross well they couldn't have picked a worse time because we got that wind coming off the Gulf. You've got that moisture. It's a very thick atmosphere. I was paging through a cloud book the other day, and I thought, man, I should get this for Dave.

Clouds are tight. Clouds are tight. What's your favorite kind of cloud? You know I'm a cumulus boy. You have to be. If you're not, get out of here. I'm trying to think of the names of them there's a serious is one yeah there's a cumulonimbus is that one okay that's mine obviously everyone's accumulating

me and the serious one don't get along let's just say that what's the anvil i'm always joking around what's one that looks like an anvil is that a cumulonimbus that's what i just said i know i don't is that it's the same thing is that like the the yes yes i just call that a thunderhead yeah that's the bad boy of clouds that's the bad boy of clouds you better watch out you see that one turn around don't drown like oh shit me and my serious friends we're gonna get up out this bitch you better squad up with that pride of lions because it's it's gonna be oh dude it's on site a cumulonimbus also known as the anvil cloud has reached the level of stratospheric stability and has formed the characteristic flat anvil top

shape better watch out you might get some rotation precipitation cloud yes often intense yeah stay flat yeah you better hang on your butts if that thing rolls through right there yeah could have a hail core oh shit have you ever been in a really intense hailstorm will i feel like you you oh yeah you have yeah oh yeah my last yeah i have two my last house um i had to get the roof replaced actually 100 of the homes in my neighborhood had to get their roofs replaced because of the particular hell storm also fucked my car up really good which is cool that's the one thing that i i there's nothing worse for some reason i'm like more worried about my car than like anything else

there's nothing yeah because it'll it can fuck up every panel on your car that's why everything it's it's so loud and jarring, too. Looks like someone tried to spray the block. Yeah. You're just, if you're in your car, it's so loud. Yeah. Especially if it's above golf ball size, it's scary. Yeah, hail gets really bad down here.

Yeah. Really bad. I don't know. I've been in baseball. I've had baseball size. I remember being with Dylan once, and this is in college, and there was a hailstorm that hit. This is not going to be a real story.

No, it's happened. It hit San Marcos. We were together. We'd been up just kind of hanging out, drinking and stuff. Dylan goes outside. The weather guy's like, take cover. We've got baseball-size hail. Dylan goes out there.

Just taking cuts. With his Easton. just starts cuts dylan just starts taking crap with the sky waiting for him to fall yeah doing a great swing out there and put on a clinic was out there just doing bp i was taking him yard wasn't i yeah and you were like i mean like ken griffey you were posing you were holding his finish that was a fun night i remember I remember that. Home run derby. It was unbelievable. Yeah. I thought you were going to tie in a sorority house somehow to that. I was waiting for it. But you went baseball instead.

You could pretty much hear Chris Berman just back, back, back. Just like the second home run. People give Berman shit for the home run derby. I loved it. I loved hearing him just do it. It was always entertaining. Every time the ball... I wouldn't mind him only calling that every year and nothing else.

Yeah. There's too much Berman shit. But I like him just telling some shitty story and then somebody mashes one and then he interrupts himself just to do it. The threshold of too much Berman is very low for me. Do you think it's hard for him to be out in public watching baseball without just busting into a backpack? Back, back, back, back, back.

I don't know. Probably. I had South by Southwest on here, but we pretty much covered anything I wanted to talk about. Just dumbasses on bird scooters with like, lanyards flapping in the wind.

And Rage Against the Machine playing shows without Dave and I. A teacher that my wife works with spotted Mark Cuban leaving Greenlight Social Saturday night. But the private room that is behind the glass, the one-way or two-way. What was he doing there? Mark, we got to talk.

Hey, Dave. Did George Strait do a set somewhere? Or did he just pose in front of the broken spoke for a pic and that was it? Did you see that picture floating around? I didn't see that.'s something about south by southwest and he was he took a picture in front of the broken spoke and he posted it to twitter i believe or someone did is your best bet to just go to the broken spoke every night during south by in hopes of yeah a decent name like john party last year yeah garth brooks did it man imagine imagine a john party imagine george straight

opening up for john party at the broken spoke like can't imagine that yeah rosie's oh i'll call it rosie sally's out of town for six weeks uh for work and i'm thinking about just having country will just mosey on down to the broken spoke hey okay i'm glad you brought this up the what you did yesterday don't say mosey on down mosey up. What you did yesterday. Don't say Mosey on down. Mosey on down. What you did yesterday. Say Boot Scootin' on down. What did you do on Twitter? What song was that?

Is that real? Sunday. It's Florida Georgia Line, baby. Read it to us. Read us the tweet. I'll give you a second to pull it up. When I saw it, I'm used to your tweets doing this now, but this particular one I read and I was like, somebody wrote this? A country song? I use country in quotes. doing this now but this particular one i read and i was like somebody wrote this and how do you a

country song this is country this is some of the sundays by florida georgia line is some of the worst lyrics ever written how do you change the font of your tweets by the way and why do you do what's the point i don't i type in the lyrics and they automatically switch no you don't it's weird we'll stop it's weird i'm gonna wear my flip-flops and i'm gonna play some flip cup and rock a little bit of hip hop and haggard and jagger and throw a 20 on the cornhole game if i'm lucky yeah i might get laid the way that it's going that keg gonna be floating that is truly terrible all i want to do today is wear my favorite shades and get stoned work a little less play a little more that's what this day is for all All I want to do

is lace my J's and lace some Jack and my Coke. Work on my laid back, ain't nothing wrong, while getting my Sundays on. Getting my Sundays on. You don't have any J's,

first of all, whoever that is. He probably does and they're probably really ugly. How can they look at that and be like, yep, this is it.

These are the licks we're going to go with. Because the formula is for crossover appeal. They realize that everybody likes hip-hop. Everybody likes pop. So they got to talk about, they got to mix in like, yeah, I like George Jones, but also

like a little bit of Ludacris. Some hip-hop. Oh, also, sick reference to the J's, bro. Girl, you know you're the life of my party. You can stay and keep sipping Bacardi. This is offensive. Stir it up as we turn on some Marley If you want, you can pet my Harley Nobody's listening to Marley

I sit you up on the kitchen sink And stick the pink Oh my god This is Kanye This is bound Read it This is shocking lyrics from Florida Georgia Line This is wildly inappropriate

Read it No one's doing this on a Sunday I sit you up on the kitchen sink This is wildly inappropriate. Read it. No one's doing this on a Sunday. I sit you up on the kitchen sink and stick the pink umbrella in your drink. The way that we're feeling, we've gone by this evening. That is filthy. Okay, nobody's actually putting pink umbrellas in drinks.

I think it's a... I think he's talking about his penis well don't call it a penis no the the description the pink description it's really gross i'm i'm i'm not out on florida's north of the line but that song is not you should be my rotation there is a music video for this and i think we're gonna watch later. I can't even bring myself to like them ironically. They're so good. They're so good. Stop. I hope they do a pop-up show.

You know they're not so good. Stop saying that. I think I'm going to go to the pop-up show that they do at the Broken Spoke. They would not do it at the Broken Spoke. Broken Spoke would not allow them. They'd be like, nah. I do want to go there soon guys what would be a band you would want to see a pop-up show uh from like the ideal yeah and i'm thinking i'm thinking like you have to measure it with the crowd size the demand to get in how

chaotic it's gonna be like obviously if kanye did a pop-up show it would be yeah it'd be cool to go but it would be chaos there was a drake rumor last year remember the good music thing yeah last year too nothing panned out from that we all literally nothing happened yeah that was bullshit i don't really know anybody like i i just want to be on the ends of like one show i've just never done anything cool at south by i've missed everything cool oh well i saw Ashanti one year. That sounds tight, though. It was me and Connor. That'd be fun.

At the same time as South by, you know what else is happening? March Madness. March Madness is one of the only times of the year where I get the itch to do a little gambling. Yeah. Get a little money on it, huh? Like Super Bowl is one time, March Madness, and that that's pretty much it and it just gets the blood flowing and luckily for everyone at home we've got my bookie who's gonna hook it up they are standing by to accept your wagers on march everything march where do i go if i want to like put do this get a little action you can join by going to my bookie

dot ag and they'll match your deposit with a 50% bonus. Yes. Use promo code STEAM to activate the offer. You can visit mybookie.ag today. You play when you get paid. Do you guys have any dark horses in the tournament? I've watched very, very little college basketball this season. Mainly just Zion highlights on SportsCenter.

So, no, I don't have. No, I don't have no i don't well it's not a dark horse but i've got the texas tech red raiders making a deep run that makes sense i got the baylor bears going further than most expect and i have the longhorns not making the tournament yeah disappointing season for the longhorns shaka what is you doing he gone yeah he probably bad i really like Shaka Smart. He gone. Yeah, well, dude, he'd be cooler though

if he wasn't a shitty coach. That's fair, dude. He would be cooler. That's cold, man. Yeah, the only college basketball that I've been watching was like the first game where I was like,

all right, I'm going to sit down and get into this game. Zion just busted his shoe out like immediately. And I was like, okay, cool. Yeah, a lot of people. Great college basketball season for your boy.

Our old president, President Barack Obama was there in attendance. Not my president. I'm just kidding. I got nothing against Obama. He seems tight. He was swagged out too, man.

He was. Yep. So where do I go if I want to do this? My book, you got AG. My book, you got AG. You play when you get paid. Use promo code STEAM.

If you deposit, I don't know, 100 bucks, you get 50 back. 200 bucks, 100 back. A million dollars, you'll get 500,000 back. i don't think you can put a million dollars down yeah there probably is a limit i'm sure standard restrictions do apply but yeah do you guys want to do a worst weekend story yes as always you can email will at washmedia.com with any story that you have from the weekend it can be where you got too drunk and made a mistake it can be

one of your friends doing it it could be just something that didn't even involve alcohol. You just had a shitty weekend and you want to tell somebody about it. I'd like to hear them. I'll say this. I'm finally getting a back stock of these. It's great. I have numerous stories that I can choose from. It's an embarrassment of riches.

I might have to start the column again. Can I interrupt before we do this? Yeah. Are people talking about Justin Rose's tweet? His photo he got off? His selfie? What is it? I don't know.

It just creeps me out. It just says, Watching how it's done this week. Great finish at Frankie Molinari. Many great players. Okay, cool. And then he just tweeted this photo himself. What the hell?

What's this photo? Why did he tweet this? Dude, he crushed that. Why is he giving seductive eyes to the camera from 18 inches away? Did he just get me pregnant? Will you retweet that right now from a circling back so people know what we're talking about when they see it? Yeah, I'm sorry. Somebody tagged us in it

and it says new profile pic. No, I'm not making that my profile pic, guy. You won't. It's just weird. Justin Rose. I'm a Justin Rose guy. Are you? I'm not sure about his commercial for like... Him and Tom Watson?

No, no, no. You don't like that tandem? No, no, no. Just the one where he's just hitting shots for some... It's a banking commercial. I forget who it is. Probably Lehman Brothers. Yeah.

But it's just him on the course at sunset just like hitting shots and looking to the camera. And it's like really weird. It doesn't tell you anything about the service he's a guy who sorry off Mike sneeze he's a guy who I just I've got nothing against it's just something about his look it just I've never been able to fully support he's never done anything he's a very nice guy he makes his home in Florida. I think he's boys with Tiger.

It's something about him. He's never done anything to me. Not to me, but in my opinion, that's tarnished him for me. I've always been fine with him. That makes sense for you. He's respectful. That makes sense because he's an Englishman.

And you are some kind of fan of England. People think that... No, I like the English Premier League. People think that I like England. I actually really hate their soccer team. I don't cheer for them at all in the World Cup. The only English player I cheer for is actually Justin Rose. When it comes to a lot of the other guys, I'm kind of out.

Damn. You can't really be a fan of the europeans though when it comes to golf no you can't i like graham mcdowell just because he's out there repping the time he's thick boy status i want to what is also another case i want to swim and pull dunk ian poulter so bad i don't want to swim i just want to i just want to do it like being in the pool together i just want to bully him are you not allowed to dunk anymore outside of the water? What? Okay, I want to dunk on him on the basketball court.

You know what I'm saying? I just, that guy. Do you want to post him up? When you were doing rehab for your knee, were you doing it like in pools like dogs do?

Yeah. It's tight. Yeah. They had a little mini basketball set up, a little pool set up. I was just dunking in there. It was tight.

Have you ever tried to jump out of a pool? No, because it's really tough. I think only a handful of people in the world can do that like i remember it was this had to have been like seven years ago a video went viral some football player doing it and i immediately we were uh like i immediately went to a pool and tried it how hard is it it's so hard i couldn't get i couldn't get um to my knees even like i couldn't get my knees out of the water it was so hard yeah i think that's reserved for like world-class athletes yeah what are you trying to say about will man yeah you know will i don't know per 23 and me i have

i don't know muscle tissues of elite elite power athletes yeah unfortunately uh everybody in this room does as well which is weird because you guys are you guys are wasting it now i'm preserving it so it's just going to get really jacked when I'm older. I think you have to have the explosive muscle fibers. I think it's best to capitalize on that when you're a young man. No, no. Donald Trump was right. Everyone has

a set amount of energy. Like a battery. Yeah, and if you use it too early, then you just run out and die. He also has a total trash body. Yeah, but he might live forever. He's also thick as hell, though. He's saving all of his energy. See that tennis pick?

He's so cheeked up. Why is he so thick? If Tony Romo's not careful, he's going to end up with Trump body. Wow. What is Trump doing out there with all that ass?

He didn't get enough credit for how thick he is. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I do, man. I know he's got a lot of other things going on but the end of the day they do put that thing away what's that waist size 40 that's got our 40 plus right yeah that's a big oh that's a big boy easily 40 plus he's got sloppy body man you can just tell i bet his belt would be hilariously long yeah man hey should we do this worth weekend story that i teased like an hour ago all right this is a secondhand anxiety story she says let me preface

this by saying this isn't even that long or bad of a story i kind of disagree because the the following paragraph that she wrote, it's not ideal. Okay. Let's get into it. My dearest boyfriend, let's call him Ben, whom I live with, just took the dreaded bar exam last week. Dave, can you explain what it feels like to get done with the bar exam? Is it relief off of you or is it just like really tense because you don't know how you did? Well, I celebrated finishing the bar by going to an establishment called Bikini's and eating a very mediocre hamburger with my buddy Matt.

That's tight. Who you know. Yeah. That place is such trash. But, yeah, no, you don't know how you did. Nobody ever walks out of the bar like, Oh, I feel pretty good about it. You really don't.

And if you do that, you're an asshole. A lot of multiple choice. A lot of essay. I don't know. I took the Texas bar. Sneaky flex. Passed passed it what's up yeah but it's tough you don't know how to feel and plus you've been probably sleep deprived you've been studying stressing out so yeah there's like a couple days where you need to and like really just three months adderall binge is just wearing off correct yeah says he's also been working as a clerk for a judge which is a pretty important gig

his fellow clerks invited him to a happy hour on Friday to let loose and celebrate being done with the bar. This just has shit show written all over it. Going out with your fellow co-workers, you just finished the bar, and they're taking you out to celebrate. You know you're doing shots of fireball, and it's going to whisper in your ear. Because that's how they do around here would you stop did you do this just to set that up no uh god damn it she said i decided to sit this out as i didn't feel like driving all is fine and dandy but my boyfriend starts texting me and seems pretty drunk i think nothing of it and he tells me he's ubering home responsible on both sides she didn't

want to drive good for her he got He was going to get an Uber home. Around 11 p.m., I decide it's time for me to hit the hay since we're having a party the next day and we have to clean bright and early. I'm in bed and my phone lights up at 11.30 and the caller ID says it's my boyfriend's mom calling. Maybe it's just me, but I'm having to filter everything you're saying because I'm wondering if you're reading song lyrics. Do you come in here loaded? Do you have lyrics in mind walking in? No. They just come to you. I can't take you seriously now.

I just, I've had a lot of, ever since Country Will started, there have been songs that have gotten stuck in my head, and it's very difficult to get Florida Georgia Line songs out of your head. Round Here has been stuck in my head, and it's very difficult to get Florida Georgia Line songs out of your head. Round Here has been stuck in my head for about two weeks now. I lost my spot.

I'm so jaded by this. I'm sorry. The last number you want calling you is your boyfriend's mom. The last number that he wants calling his girlfriend is his mom. This is the next morning? No, this is that night.

Oh. Yeah. Immediately, I know this isn't good. Well, yeah. i answer in a confused state of mind since i woke up uh i just woke up after finally falling asleep she tells me everything is okay ben got into the car with one of the clerks and her dad um and her dad you can't say everything is okay and then say that he got in the car with like his female co-worker and her dad but then whose dad wait why was her dad there the co-worker stop hey stop bringing your parents a

happy hour maybe he's like maybe he's like a partner at the firm and he was just hiring his daughter okay either way all right keep going said okay i'm still unsure as to why she's calling to tell me this then she says i guess ben is wasted and he threw up all over the clerk's dad's car. And they took his phone out of his pocket and called me because he doesn't know where he lives. Have you ever gotten so drunk that you forget where you live? No. Maybe. I have gotten drunk enough to where I've gone to an old residence and then gotten there

and been like, oh, shit. I typed in the wrong address. I did it in Austin. I've done it in Austin. This was like early on when I didn't know anything. And I just clicked on Uber. I just clicked like my saved address for home. And I got there and I was just like, oh, fuck.

I've gone to the wrong. This ain't it. I've gone to the wrong floor of my apartment before, but I figured it out. Oh, I've done that sober. I've done that sober. I've done that sober. I've done that sober. Because when you're walking up the stairs, sometimes I just forget where I am, and then I just get off, and it all looks the exact same.

Why is my key not working? No, I've never done the key. Okay. I got lost on the cruise ship when you and I went on that EDM cruise together. That's more understandable, though, because that's not where you live. You're just there for a couple of nights so it's like you know i remember that that whole situation and just made me want to roll my windows down shut up you can't do that don't i can't have this from both of you guys one is already too much ben's mom tell me that they gave him direction that they gave him

direction to our house and that i'll need to go outside to help carry him in. Not ideal. Not ideal. I go outside in my slippers and robe and I see him stumbling down the driveway covered in vomit and vomit is dripping down his chin. I literally dry heaved. Oh man, a chain reaction. Oh, you don't want the chain reaction. Cleaning up someone else's vomit is just the bottom of the barrel. That's the worst experience. Yeah, it's up up there i will not do it for somebody unless you truly mean something to me i'll make sure you don't like roll onto your like back and choke on it but i might not clean it up off of your bed unless like i like you a lot i'll do it for you i clean your vomit up guys oh man maybe i probably wouldn't do a great job but i would at least do it to the point where in the morning you'd be like, okay, I just got to throw my sheets.

Just lay a towel down. Over it? I don't care. Yeah. If there's still some sleeping to do. I mean, I'm going to have to wash the sheets regardless. Yeah. Once we go inside, I made him strip down into his boxers and shoved him into the shower.

He goes to bed, snores all night, and wakes up and has to call the clerk's dad to apologize. Ultimate regret sets in. I wonder what kind of car it was i'm imagining an escalade for some reason i'm thinking of rolls royce i once uh we i was at a kid rock concert and i decided that instead of staying at the condo that had been rented for people to stay in that i wanted to go home and my friend's dad was picking her up and i was like, hey, can I get a ride? And as you do at a kid rock concert when you're 23 years old, you get pretty tuned up. I think I actually drank fireball that night too.

But anyway, I was apparently telling a story in the middle of the drive home and just fell asleep mid-sentence. And the dad was just like, all right, yeah, go to bed. Well, you're good. But either way. The dad says it's fine but no one should be getting that sick from drinking at 26 which is valid that's the worst thing you could hear yeah just you didn't need to throw that jab in we get it okay moral of the story is don't rip shots with your co-workers and puke in their dad's cars especially don't do this if you'll all be attorneys in the same area yeah does he have to move that's you walk into the courtroom like a

year later and it's just like i remember that guy he just puked everywhere sunday scary's next level if this is what happened to you over the weekend it wouldn't it wouldn't be the worst until you hear the the dad say that you shouldn't be getting that drug at 26. And then it's like, yeah, dude, I already know that. I already know that. Shit. I, what? Nothing. I,

I don't know. I, I don't think it, it could have been like a partner, I guess, or something, you know? Yeah.

Or like the judge he clerked for. Could have been way worse. I don't, I'm not a puker. And so I, I just, I'm, I'm thankful that I made it through most of my younger years without having to worry about that. Man, I'm very thankful that I'm not a puker and I've never been a bed wetter, a drunk bed wetter. That's a tough, that's a tough one to wake up to. The bed wetting?

Yeah. That's a tough one to wake up to. The bed wedding? Yeah. I was good once every three years for a night where I drank way too much beer and would go to sleep and it would happen. It was like once every three years. And I've never gotten up in my sleep and peed in the corner or in the closet or something like that.

I did that once and I was underage and I was staying with my girlfriend at the time. And we were on spring break and I peed in her purse. I couldn't find were on spring break. And I peed in her purse. I couldn't find the bathroom, apparently. And I just peed in her purse. Have I told the story about my friend? This was, we were 18, I think. No, we were 21. Yeah, we were 21.

The girl who walked into my room, peed on the floor, and then put my pants on and went to sleep. No. I told this one? No. That's gross. I'm not going to reveal her name, obviously. She's a friend of mine. I actually haven't talked to her in years.

But we were 21, and we went to Padre, and she was in the same hotel that I was staying in, but she was sleeping in a different room. 3 a.m., after I'd been asleep for a couple hours or whatever, she comes in and takes all of her clothes off, squats. Are you in the room? Yes. yes okay and i wake up when she comes in she takes all of her clothes off squats pees right on the floor next to my bed goes in goes into the closet finds the pants that i was wearing that night puts them on puts a t-shirt on

and goes back to bed the next morning she wakes up she's like why am i wearing these khaki pants i don't get it. I was like, come on here and I'll explain. I'll explain what happened. Pretty bad. I had a friend and it was the same situation of like when people get drunk and they like think a closet is like a bathroom or something. And he was sharing a room. They were in college.

They were sharing a room. And my friend got up and he started to unzip his pants to pee in the closet. And his roommate was like, dude, what are unzip his pants to pee in the closet and his roommate was like dude what are you doing stop peeing in the closet my friend just looked back at him started laughing and then walked over to his closet and just peed in his closet instead and we were like dude that's so fucked up but he didn't he didn't remember it like he was sleep like drunken sleepwalking so he had no recollection or control. Yeah, I don't like that. I would not want to know that I was communicating with someone in that state

because that's just weird. It's like, wait, what? They could kill you and you wouldn't even know. Yeah. Some shit, man. Have fun out there, guys, but don't be peeing on each other. Yeah.

Be careful. Maybe look into adult diapers. Should we wrap this up? Probably. That section was sponsored by adult diapers. That was a fun episode. Yeah, we had a lot. I had a good time.

We played the hits today. We played the hits. If you want to, you can follow us at Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram. Subscribe on everything. Our Patreon is just bustling right now. The community that we're building there is just beautiful to see. Thank you guys for subscribing to Patreon. If you haven't, you're missing out on some good stuff, and I don't really like you.

To all the people that are commenting, I really enjoy it. I like the comments on the things. I like the little forums in the community. It's great. It's great to see everything. I'm searching Twitter right now to see if there's anything new on this Jaguar. Like any new footage. All I need is, I need a name.

And that's all I want. I don't know why there isn't a name. Hey, the lion's signed Amandola. I don't know what that does for you, but. It does. I like that. Okay. I like that.

Wow. Welcome to the pride, Danny. Shut up. Let's go. Have y'all seen what this jag looks like? They have footage. Yeah. Man, I can't believe the poll that you put up on the circling back pod.

63% of people are here for country will, and that's disturbing. Almost two-thirds of people are here for it. But I wanted to cancel you. Did you put that up? Yeah. I think. When did I put that up wanted to cancel you. I put that up? Yeah. I think. When did I put that up?

I don't think I put that up. I could have been fooled by the circling bean account because the logos look very, very... The avatar is very similar. Yeah, I think, dude, I don't think I put that up. Okay, never mind then.

I did put up Ariana Grande here for her cancel. This one only got 32 votes. Hey, still. That's not official. That is not official. People did cancel Arianariana grande though 71 people canceled her i don't think we need to cancel ariana grande no she's canceled no i think

you can't cancel it no i just think we should meet her somewhere in the middle on it like so i have a question about meet me in the middle with you do you have this song stuck in your head so badly because of the mcdonald's commercial no it's because when i about me being in the middle with you. Do you have this song stuck in your head so badly because of the McDonald's commercial? No, it's because when I was waiting on my haircut at Supercuts, that song came on. And for some reason, I decided to devise a tweet because it was in my head. Dave was doing a bit the other night that I'm afraid is very much going to catch on. the other night that I'm afraid is very much going to catch on. We should have wrapped this up, but now I have to talk about this because I couldn't stop laughing at it and I couldn't stop doing it even once I got home.

And the next day I was doing it. I did it to Sally and she was like, what are you talking about? Dave was just quoting swingers for the entire night. Oh, that one. You were just standing in the middle of the bar and people were talking to you and they didn't even realize what you were doing but you were just did you see vince von leinstein there was a lot of beautiful babies at that bar i said that to sally the next morning we were i forget where we were but i was

like a lot of beautiful babies here a lot of beautiful babies she was like what and i was like yeah i don't know i'm sorry i gave god this stuck good movie then klein was telling a story and and you told him, you're like, dude, you're so money. And he like brushed off. He's like, dude, I know. And then he kept on telling the story. And I was like, dude, he's doing a bit, Klein. Pick up on it. Let's rewatch Swingers.

Did you just call it Swingers? Swingers. Swing. Swing. We're bringing Swing back. We're bringing swing back. We're not. I've tried that and it doesn't do numbers. I can tell you that.

It's like a lot of people aren't here for it. See, the swing means that they're getting boners. That's what swing means. Swing. Swing. Mine doesn't sound like that when I get a boner, by the way. What does it sound like? It doesn't sound like anything.

Mine's like a high porn. Really? Yeah. When you get a, when you get an erection, it makes a high horn sound. Well,

I don't kiss and tell, but. Well, you just did. I don't talk about that stuff publicly. You literally just did. No, I didn't.

What does yours sound like, Dylan? I'm just imagining like a piece of bologna like slapping the hood of a car. I thought you were going to say like the ping.

That'll fuck the pain up. I thought you were going to say the ping ping. That'll fuck the paint up. I thought you were going to say the ping of a baseball bat. Bing. Bing. Bing. But it doesn't make that sound either. My boner speaks softly

but it carries a big stick so it doesn't make any noise. Let's get out of here. It's really dumb. Yes. Hey, go check me out on Twitter at dcarteruff. I went microvi last night.

You did. Congratulations. Feels good, man. Big for the squad, man. Really, man. You know? Let's go. Hey, hop on board.

Okay. Hop on the microtrain. Not only are we going to see you guys on Wednesday and Friday for our episodes, we'll see you at Eisenhower's on Friday as well. See you there. Later. We'll meet you all in the middle. Bye.