Circling Back - Kangaroos, Chess Vibes And Nut Moments With Ross Bolen

Starting point is 00:00:00 all right we are back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer the only hard seltzer with vitamin c super fruit acerola my name's dave and i'm gonna host today joining me in studio is dylan chivery oh wow i thought you're gonna go with ross well i just spoiled it we have a guest yeah to start over i'm kidding let's go uh hey very happy to be here man gosh look at billy boy over there spoiler alert it's been such a long time man you can't just let a surprise happen I mean we were about 30 seconds away from spoiling it anyway but uh hey man what's up how we doing solid get the man a real introduction it's noted New York Times best-selling author W.R. Boland it is host of the uh oysters clams and cockle podcast with barrett

Starting point is 00:01:07 dudley the ross boland podcast ross boland podcast true probably some some other shit a bunch of other shit we don't have to talk banging the can more on that later a lot of uh a lot of podcasting though we're doing podcasts that's what we do it's cool that you guys us that's what we do you know you're right? Smack dab in the middle of podcast week. No shit. It's podcast week. Man, dude, I feel like it's every time I'm here, it's somehow podcast week. It's been successful.

Starting point is 00:01:34 We're running it back. We're running it back. No, it seems like podcast week is going well. This is the first time I've been in the new dig, the full-blown new office, right? Have I been here before? I don't think you've been here before. I don't think I've been here before. dig because the new the full-blown new office right have i been here before i don't think i don't think i've been here before man i don't think i don't have the best when you walked in did it look familiar to you no it didn't it didn't i feel like i would have remembered this um i've what you know what it is it's that i've watched so much of y'all putting it together on instagram on your stories in particular that it feels like i've been here

Starting point is 00:02:02 because i don't know if you know this but when i'm not here here i watch y'all like a hawk everything you do and say and tweet you know they say keep your friends close but your enemies closer yeah that's how i operate for sure it's not a quite a finished product in here by the way what's unfinished we're getting a a wall constructed as we speak it's going to be a nice backdrop. And we're making them pay for it. I was going to say. Getting political early here. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:32 We're putting a, shouldn't call it a wall, more of a backdrop situation. It'll be sick. Did you see the MyPillow guy got his phone seized and I think he was at Arby's? No way. He was either at Arby's or hardy's i've seen

Starting point is 00:02:45 either okay different reports but i don't know which one's better in terms of hardy's we don't have many very many hardy's down here but arby's we do have and let me tell you the one that they redid next to cavendish you know what i'm talking about i do it it was the worst arby's experience i've ever had i did go to Before or since they've redone it? Post. Wow. Well, it's just drive-thru, right? So first of all, for anybody who doesn't have context,

Starting point is 00:03:12 it was an Arby's that they ripped down. And I was like, oh, man, this is semi-closed to my house. I'm excited about this. Who knows what could be put in? Maybe it'll be a Starbucks. I don't know. Is that what you really wanted? I didn't care.

Starting point is 00:03:25 I'm a big Arby's hater, as you know know dave i'm on the other side of the fence from you it's not the wall though not an arby's guy either and uh they they erected a fucking arby's they put up a just a different a different arby's they ran it back crazy they did they ran they ran it all the way back and then they opened it only drive through and i think partially because they can't get enough people to work there that's my well let me tell you this um my curly fries how many fries would you think when you order a large curly fry because you're you know a little bit down on a sunday for whatever reason you don't have to make excuses to me about why you got a large curly fry but at least 30 used to be a piece of shit how many should be curly in the curly fries? Out of the 30? What percentage?

Starting point is 00:04:06 90? I think I had two fries with actual curls. What do the other ones look like? They were just straight fries? Just little tiny balls. Straight ones, yeah. That's so stupid. Like the runts in the litter?

Starting point is 00:04:20 All from the bottom of the basket type shit? It was scraps. It's like when you pull up at Chipotle. You have to check, by the way. Maybe you got the last scoop out of the bottom of the front that's what it sounds like happened that's trash dude speaking of chipotle not a sponsor but baller move i saw from a dude and i don't know if it's baller not baller i'll let you guys make the judgment there new segment baller or not baller he gets up to order and he asks the guy the guy guy's like, what kind of meat would you want? And the guy said, well, what's the most fresh? Which one did you just put in there the most recently?

Starting point is 00:04:50 Wow. And the guy was like, probably the prime rib or whatever, the carne asada, whatever they're doing now. And he went with that. And that's a good move. I've never seen that done. I'm usually too much of a bitch, frankly, to ask questions. Realistically, we should be doing that every time we're in chipotle which one of these is you know if one's been out here 20

Starting point is 00:05:09 minutes longer than the other i probably don't want that shit i go out of my way to not make someone in the service industry industry's job more difficult i don't and especially when it's big i don't want to be questioned guy i'm already questioned guy in a number of places but i don't want to be that guy in chipotle and i just saw him do it and i was like man frat on good sir yeah generally my strategy is to avoid interacting with the other humans as much as possible you know what i mean i feel like that really lessens your odds of being murdered by a random chipotle employee if you're not in there prodding and asking questions did they ever cut the check or what, man? No, they haven't given us a dime.

Starting point is 00:05:47 That's crazy, man. They got to get more free advertising than any company in the whole country. They just come up a lot. Not always for good reasons, either. But you're also encouraging people to steal from them. Yeah, and for a while there, truth be told, it got a little weird because that was a pretty large army we were sending into Chipotles nationwide to steal their napkins. And it turned into a thing where, like, it kept escalating.

Starting point is 00:06:10 Somebody sent me a Snapchat of him. He had taken the full napkin dispenser. Oh, that's a little far, yeah. And then we were getting, like, a Snapchat with somebody had, like, their fucking soda machine in the passenger seat of the car or something. Basically, people were just ransacking Chipotles. And I was going to catch a lawsuit eventually. Some guy tracks down a truck on the road and intercepts a pallet of napkins somewhere.

Starting point is 00:06:30 Just a heist. Like it's a fucking... Ross basically ordered his followers to January 6th Chipotle. Yeah, it was a bit of an insurrection situation. Ross is in there with a Viking helmet. I had to pull back. No shirt. I had to pull back, though. We had to pull back the reins i had to pull back though we had to pull back the

Starting point is 00:06:45 reins on that a little bit now i'm starting to amp it up again but it got a little weird anyway fuck chipotle take their shit and bring it to me the food is very average i can't i can't get off of it i'm a free birds guy now yeah unless chipotle wants to drop the bag every time i have free birds i'm'm like, man, this is better. This is better. I should just be coming here. And then somehow I end up back at the fucking Chipotle. I don't know what's happening.

Starting point is 00:07:12 It is. It's the convenience of it. They're everywhere. Ross, what are your top three nut moments? What are your top three nut moments? Number one, the one that created my child upcoming in february the literal nutty literal number two i think i'm trying to think like my all-time i mean one of my all-time favorites is definitely hitting every green light when you're driving like on the way home and it has to be i'm not

Starting point is 00:07:42 talking about hitting two you know that shit happens you're talking like on the way home and it has to be i'm not talking about hitting two you know that shit happens all the time like not even tapping the brakes one time like seven eight plus lights you know what i mean just getting to cruising yeah that's that's a that's an all-timer for me um i'm a big when you get a new tub of butter and there's that nipple you know the little nipple swirl yeah you know tweak it a little bit that first like slice into a new tub of butter to make some toast or whatever that shit gets me real hard you put off margarine vibes no no no no i can't believe it's not butter is that what is that what that is though margarine yeah yeah i've eaten a lot it's really good what exactly is that i don't know what margarine is what is this like like butter is like cousin i don't know what margarine is. What is that? It's like butter's cousin.

Starting point is 00:08:26 I don't know. It's the same shit, right? It's artificial. Oh, it's artificial? They don't use butter's cousin? Do they use dairy in that shit? They have to. Oh, shit.

Starting point is 00:08:33 I don't know. Margarine. I don't know who dairy is. By the way, the TV out here in our little sitting area. Yeah. We've had it for a long time. Okay. And last Friday, i realized that the plastic

Starting point is 00:08:45 was still on shut the fuck up and i was like oh my god this is a that's a huge nut moment what a moment this is for me i almost called you so you could share the moment with me but i didn't dude that kind of pisses me off when i find like a piece of electronics that has had the plastic on it this whole time like man i was never getting the full shine of this situation for for god knows how long you morons had your fucking tv i know yeah we're scumbags over here ross we watch we're watching cold we're watching cold pizza you guys don't care you don't care about your dylan's always putting on first take in here he's like dude i gotta see what skips up to or whatever is that thing an oled oled no come on

Starting point is 00:09:22 we don't have that kind of money yeah you, you don't care. It's an OLED. It's where like... That's top of the line, dog. Your new latest and greatest technology TV guy. With TVs, I'm barely hanging on. As I get into my mid-30s, into my late 30s, I'm a little worried. OLED's as good as it gets, Dave. It's the best picture out there.

Starting point is 00:09:40 The blacks are the blackest. You know what I mean? The clarity is really... It's true black is what they call it so i'm missing out when i'm watching i don't know hbo's hit show house of dragons just as an example that's you see this scene ron dylan hasn't watched i gotta watch still dylan's 1.5 episodes behind yeah how is anybody 1.5 episodes behind a player fell asleep i kind of respect that a player fell asleep i kind of respect that a player fell asleep i kind of respect that honestly um i think we're in the age where appointment viewing is dead i completely understand if you're like i can't watch this shit sunday night 9 p.m bro i gotta

Starting point is 00:10:14 be asleep but it's not dead if you got kids and shit dude any of your social media because you guys are so quick on it you and barrett spoiled the show. Yeah, we have to, dude. The game is the game. Damn. You can't be following us if you don't watch that shit on time because we're pumping out clips by the next day.

Starting point is 00:10:31 The game is the game. Because we record immediately after. This is the first time in my life I've ever done this where I'm like, all right, I'll do a podcast at night on purpose. That's when y'all record?

Starting point is 00:10:42 Right after the episode ends. Damn. Theoretically. You know, Barrett takes about 45 minutes to get from where his house is to mine. It's about a five minute drive. on purpose that's when y'all record right after the episode ends damn theoretically you know barrett takes about 45 minutes to get from where his house is to mine it's about a five minute drive and uh he fucking yeah you guys are very straight into the studio and we record immediately afterward and it's kind of a struggle because like you know you gotta you gotta be awake it's like late at night yeah yeah that reminds me uh new podcast wash media hosted by randy house of wagons oh wow as he has a dump truck ass fuck yeah dude you see my mug that's a butt there does the female form make you uncomfortable is that a

Starting point is 00:11:19 you don't know that that's female look at the front it could be a dick could be tucked until you turned it around i wasn't aware it could be an inverted penis show me i'm gonna be frank with you because you've you've allowed your coffee to overflow it looks like someone made number two all over the front of that female yeah he has a problem with that yeah dylan gets messy with it yeah god damn that is what is in there what is that bing bong dog oh yeah y'all are weird here i forgot yeah we drink coffee it's really weird. Strange coffee bits. You like that one, huh? That shit always gets me.

Starting point is 00:11:52 You know what I like, and you know what always gets me? Mizzen and Maine. Yeah, I agree, man. So did you guys see where Will DeFreeze is over in Italy? Dope Vacation. Did see that. He's looking good in his Mizzen and Maine over there. He is. They'realy dope vacation did see that he's looking good in his mizzen and main over there it's they're great for vacation um i mean look we were rocking them in cabo at dylan's wedding

Starting point is 00:12:12 they're fantastic last friday i'm getting dressed to step out with bay and she's like you know what i wish yeah that's my wife cool cool you know you've met her i have you're at our nuptials i went to your nuptials yeah and she And she was like, you know what? I wish you wore more of your white mizzen and mane button. Now, this is just truth in advertising here. She said this. Organic. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:32 Yeah, facts. I was like, I got to tell the squad about this. And here I am. Yeah, they do look good. Dude, it's very nice. If you have a wedding or anything formal to go to in the summer, throw that thing on. You don't have to worry about being a dude with pit stains just sweating his ass off. I'm a sweat boy.

Starting point is 00:12:49 It's probably the most breathable button-down I've ever worn in terms of not feeling overheated. The inventors of the performance fabric dress shirt, Mizzen and Mane combines the comfort and flexibility of your favorite athletic wear with the fit and style of a custom dress shirt lightweight breathable and moisture wicking mrs domain's excuse me clothing will have you looking great too much bing bong plus their dress shirts are machine wash washable that's huge because i dry cleaning is expensive i hate it i hate all the plastic that they give you afterward and you have to throw it away it's just one more thing to deal with. Fuck all that.

Starting point is 00:13:26 Yeah, it's a beating. I can just throw it in the washer and then hang it up. And I'm like, hey, look at me. I'm ready to go to whatever formal event. Maybe church, Dylan. Fancy boy. Sure. They may have gotten famous for their dress shirts, but Mizzen and Main now makes incredibly

Starting point is 00:13:38 comfortable flannels, no-tuck shirts, performance polos, chinos, and so much more. All in performance fabrics with modern tailoring with Mizzen and Maine. It never felt better to look your best. It got over 30,000 five-star reviews. So, you know, they make a great product with work from wherever being the new norm. I love that Mizzen and Maine fits whatever my work situation will be in 2022. Did you know that Mizzen and Maine's 10th anniversary was in July? will be in 2022. Did you know that Mizzen and Maine's 10th anniversary was in July?

Starting point is 00:14:05 Did you know that, Dylan? I did. Wow. Okay. I was just seeing if you're paying attention over there. Good for you. Now you know. Yeah. I used to wear all those stiff dress shirts to work.

Starting point is 00:14:14 Now I don't. I'm completely a Mizzen guy. Love it. We got a special offer for our listeners. Mizzen and Maine just turned 10. So they've got great deals running on their site all summer long. Right now, if you go to MizzenandMmain.com and use promo code circling, you'll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more. That's $35 when you go to mizzenandmain.com and use promo code circling.

Starting point is 00:14:39 That's M-I-Z-Z-N and M-A-I-N in case you can't spell Maine for some reason. Anyway, Dylan, did you ever find that beeping in your home? Yeah, I did. Did you see that? Yeah, I got some of that going right now too. It was in Lil' Bae's bedroom as she was asleep. So what did you do? Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:14:58 Man, those things are like cockroaches. You can't kill them. You take it off the shit, you unplug it. Then you take the battery out. Okay, I fixed the beeping. And then it'll just keep beeping at you. You gotta take it out back and beat it to death with a baseball bat. You do. You have to go off the space off.

Starting point is 00:15:14 Yeah, that's the only way. Or you can just replace the battery. Dude, I've got one right now. It's not the fire alarm like y'all were dealing with.'s the fucking alarm system there's a there's a there's a triangle on it that's lit up this triangle is clearly a bad thing oh i don't want to dodge you but you're a ring guy aren't you yeah but this isn't a ring alarm this is like some random ass service asi or whatever and anyway the point is it fucking beeps every two minutes and i can't get it to stop

Starting point is 00:15:44 and when i call they put me on hold no and i'm not doing that shit i'm not doing that shit either i think i i would live with the beeping too i don't want to be on hold this is shit i'm about to rip it off the wall though this is at the office so it's like it's driving all them it's all three of us insane hey you know what one of the best developments in modern tech has been not just oled tvs but when you call someplace and you got like a question and you have to be on hold and you can just give them your number and they'll call you back i thought you were gonna say the fleshlight well the fleshlight is one um i gotta agree with you shout out aubrey marcus this is dude the first time it offered me what was

Starting point is 00:16:22 like you are 26th in line. Press two for a callback. I was like, oh my God. Did they call you back? Yeah. And how did it take this long? Wow, way to tie it back in, Dave. I'm sorry. How did it take this long for us to get to that place, though?

Starting point is 00:16:36 That is such an easy-ass piece of technology to implement. Thank God it's finally happening. Free at last. Did y'all see where this kangaroo killed a guy? What? Like beat his ass to death? Yeah, murdered him in cold blood. His owner, in fact.

Starting point is 00:16:51 It was a fatal kangaroo attack, first in Australia in 86 years. Does that surprise you? Yeah. You feel like they'd be getting somebody at least every five, ten years, right? I'm going to have Randy throw up a photo from Slack. While this is not the kangaroo. In question. This is the late, the great Roger,

Starting point is 00:17:12 noted online kangaroo who looks totally swole. Celebrity kangaroo. Who served 30 years in prison. Just stands there bowed up like Nate Diaz. Just ready for all the smoke. How did they get that ripped? Like, where do they fall? It's all that bouncing around. They do a lot of HIIT training.

Starting point is 00:17:27 Drop that routine, player. Dude, honestly, they're doing a lot of paleo. This dude's hitting the speed bag on a daily basis, though. But his face is even like, yeah, that's right, bitch. Exactly. You know, he's like, he's ready for hands. They get facial muscle going. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:43 Like, it's their whole body that becomes swole it's gross these kangaroos and again like that's you like you want to fight that thing i don't think so you unknowingly hit on his little kangaroo girlfriend and he's ready to you got a problem right in your face her honor yeah he's gonna kick you in the chest just don't see a scenario where i'm hitting on a kangaroo i should say i mean they're cute but if you did this is what you get this is what you're staring at 30 minutes later. Some of those kangaroos are pretty slim thick. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:18:09 I've seen you. You said some weird things to me after a few drinks. That's true. They got that little pouch, you know? Oh, yeah. You get a lot of takes on that pouch. What were you saying earlier? Or the show?

Starting point is 00:18:19 You're like, yo, they can carry my CBD in there. You can carry something in there. Their offspring, maybe. Yeah. I think that's its intent. Yeah, this was his wild kangaroo. I guess it wasn't wild if he was keeping it as a pet, but certainly was not domesticated. Keeping it as a pet.

Starting point is 00:18:38 Keeping these wild animals. Like, look, if it's a dog or it's a cat or it's a fish or it's a frog or whatever that's cool but like people that keep getting these wild animals and trying to have them as pets whether it's like a gorilla or a kangaroo or a fucking lion like they're going to kill you chimpanzees they won't just kill you they will uh yeah they'll tear your face right off tell your they tear it off they'll put it on their face and do comedy to you as you're dying bill it's sick in there dude they know how to throw hands like we've seen those videos, right? The Roo? Have you seen the one where that dude's dog

Starting point is 00:19:09 is being attacked by a kangaroo and he's out there and they straight up, they square up. They're like... Like an Irish boxer. They're boxing. No, he just popped it with a cross.

Starting point is 00:19:17 He popped him one time and it stunned the kangaroo. He's like, oh. Kangaroo was like, well... I didn't know you could... Nobody's ever punched back before. I didn't know you could throw down like that, sir. It typically doesn't get this far. No far no shit when a bouncer breaks it up

Starting point is 00:19:28 normally see i'm not worried about the hands so much because i feel like i don't know there's a weak like bicep to forearm um ratio for this particular kangaroo we're looking at here but the kick is what i'd be concerned with yeah they hop up on their they use their tail to like support themselves and they bam right in your fucking chest i feel like that would throw me 15 feet yeah they can get to seven feet tall somebody sent my wife a bunch of maternity clothes one of her friends you know sure and and they sent a shirt for me and it's this big black it's kind of tight it looks like it might be like a like a designer team have a marsupial pouch yeah then it's got a pouch on the front let's fucking go i think it's kind of tight that's

Starting point is 00:20:10 sick so i can just stick the baby yeah in my fucking shirt this isn't even ross is expecting a young lad yeah i don't know if it's a boy or girl of 2023 it's uh yes the sex is yet to be determined i suppose but but yeah i'm to stick this thing in my shirt. I feel like I'm a little worried I might forget it's there when it's real small. You know? No, you'll be fine. No, I'll be all right. Thank you all for taking that segment over as I'm having a computer issue.

Starting point is 00:20:38 Whatever this is, it won't get off my screen. Oh, that's not going to go. What is it, man? Did somebody lemon party? It's King's Child. No, it's not a lemon party. I didn't get off my screen oh that's not gonna go what is it man did somebody lemon party it's king lemon party i didn't get lemon partied dude people did that to me way too often like i i you say it and i immediately can see the whole thing in my head which isn't good is that the one that you couldn't get off the screen in time i mean you definitely couldn't get it off the screen in time

Starting point is 00:21:00 if it was on your screen for any amount of time you were damaged by it but it was all those old men older older gay gentlemen participating in sex with each other all over the screen in time if it was on your screen for any amount of time you were damaged by it but it was all those old men older older gay gentlemen participating in sex with each other all over the screen it was like that scene in wolf of wall street where they come back and their butler or their maid is in the house and he's got all his his friends there and they're all fucking everywhere that's what a lemon party was there one weren't they peeing in each other's mouths one that you couldn't x out i don't think so i never really looked i don't know focused on the content too much as I was trying to get rid of the image.

Starting point is 00:21:27 It just kept being put on my screen. You get so many looks at it for one second and eventually you memorize the whole thing. Lemon party. This sounds so pleasant. Let's talk about other ones

Starting point is 00:21:35 that are bad. Meat spin. Meat spin. This kangaroo. You trying to get us back on the rails? I'm derailed because of this computer thing. I need a Mac.

Starting point is 00:21:46 Yeah, what do you have? What is this? My Mac died like week two of the company, and Will had this. I don't know how we got this sponsor deal or something, but it's a PC. And Will was like, here, you can use this. And it's been fine. It's just now there's a window that doesn't want to close and seems to be frozen. And I don't really know how to access the task manager. Well, you can at least read King Charles's

Starting point is 00:22:09 outrageous list of daily demands revisited. Yeah, I should check that out. It's a hot article you got there. Any final words for the queen? I don't care. I never did. And I never will. As I said on the Ross Boland podcast, I care so little about the queen that I abandoned the, what's the crown on Netflix? Is that what it's called? I just started watching that. Dude. Two seasons of great TV and I still bailed because I don't care.

Starting point is 00:22:38 I just don't care. I tried. I got it through like three episodes and I was like like how can this entire show be about a crayon the crown crown wow randy's holding up a oh the crowd just they just not trying it says control alt delete yeah i know i tried that randy and just it's fine it's the oldest people don't want to hear my computer problems i get mad that. That is one of those things, though, with a Mac. Citroën Alt Delete solves all your problems with a PC. You know?

Starting point is 00:23:09 All of them. No matter what. Control Alt Delete. Yeah. That doesn't exist with a Mac. It's the fix-all. What do you do on a Mac? Task Manager?

Starting point is 00:23:19 That's a PC. I don't know how to work this thing, man. Yeah. I'm telling you. I'm starting to feel more and more like Dylan every day with technology where I i'm just like this shit's i'm losing it i have a handle on technology you famously do literally apparently more than i do as i'm over here just tanking the pod i've seen you try to mount that tv that's one of the funniest things oh don't don't what do you mean don't don't do the one that you broke the one that you dropped oh yeah i did drop a one thousand dollar tv that i had to then replace immediately that

Starting point is 00:23:51 sucks boss ross the question that people are wanting to know they want to hear you answer this okay did u.s chest grandmaster use anal bees to cheat his way to victory against world number one magnus carlson what's your what's your thought on just overall like using technology to assist in like winning that's against the rules yeah so i've had to think about this a little bit and in particular with with it depends on it depends on the sport and in chess first of all i had never considered this look astro's great jose altuve was accused of particular of possibly using like a buzzer on his chest oh i had heard that people rip his jersey off right um it turned out it was because he has a bad tattoo which i realize sounds

Starting point is 00:24:37 like total bullshit of an excuse uh but yeah spin zone look obviously you don't want to have but i don't think anybody here's here's here's my my stance if you're inventive enough to make it to where you do not get caught and it is entertaining to me when in some way shape or form that i don't care anal beads if you'll go there and you pull it off like and how are they going to prove it how are they going to prove that you had those up your ass okay who tipped whoever leaked this off so it's got to be it's like i don't think it's been there was okay so everyone i guess this was like a major upset and they're like all right how could he have people just like how could he have possibly done this and someone said he had like a buddy at home this is just a theory he had a buddy at home who was using artificial intelligence ai it's the future okay and uh was

Starting point is 00:25:33 had like the game going and like see he would see what the ai would do after the the guy the world number one made his move and he would buzz him and the buzzing would stimulate his rectum and let him know like hey bishop or uh yeah so so when these two morons were like how can we plot and scheme to get you to beat world number one magnus whatever the idea they came up with was a vibrating set of anal beads well they were like we've already got these vibrating anal beads you got to conceal potentially yes let'sentially, yes. Let's use these and you'll obviously put them in your ass

Starting point is 00:26:07 and then I'll push you. And I think these are available in most like sex shops. Right. Because it's like, oh, I'm going to put this up your two hole and then I'm going to

Starting point is 00:26:15 have fun with you. I'm going to turn it on. I got a little remote control. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. That would be a good bet payoff. No, it would not.

Starting point is 00:26:23 What, that Dylan has to do a whole show with the vibrating anal beads in? Yeah. And you get the remote? I would resign. I wouldn't want it. I'd give it to somebody else.

Starting point is 00:26:30 That's weird. You don't want to be the one stimulating him. No, no. I just want to be there to see it all unfold. Let me be clear. This sounds like bad Daily Mail journalism, but I think basically this is just like they saw some people on Twitter talking about it, and then they just ran it as a story. That's hilarious.

Starting point is 00:26:49 One fan tweeted, currently obsessed with the notion that Hans Nieman has been cheating at the Sinkfield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves. Here's what I think. Okay. I think this 19-year-old American badass one beat this Magnus douchebag. And they're like, oh, fuck this.

Starting point is 00:27:14 He's 19 years old. This American chotch guy. We don't want him to win. We're going to discredit him. We're going to make up this shit. Same thing as Jose Altuve's situation. Has anybody ever called you American Chach guy? Almost definitely.

Starting point is 00:27:27 Almost definitely, yeah. Have you seen this guy's hair? He's got great chest hair. Which one, Magnus? No, Neiman. Neiman. Yeah. Neiman and Magnus.

Starting point is 00:27:37 Sounds like a vineyard outside of Napa. You know how they reviewed the Astros tape? Sorry, Dave. You know how they reviewed the Astros tape and you could hear the banging sure right you could hear the banging of the cans especially in the games where there was very little no buzzing just banging oh i'm talking about for the chest i mean but more so wouldn't you be able to review the tape and like notice that he's like every time his ass because you it's not like you can avoid like you're to react. There's a vibrating set of balls in your ass.

Starting point is 00:28:06 Well, maybe. You think I practiced enough to where he could literally take it? It's something that I would practice. You have to do some sparring before you go out there and fight night. I just don't know if it's worth it. This is chess. You know, Dylan famously does a really, really good Christopher Walken impression. Dylan, I want you to be... The anal beads.

Starting point is 00:28:26 Yeah, yeah, go ahead. They were up my ass. No, no, no. You're the opponent. Dave had the remote. I'm the opponent? Yeah, you're the opponent. I think this guy's cheating. What do you mean? I think he's got... You know, I hear a buzzing sound. I think it's coming from his ass.

Starting point is 00:28:42 How's that, Ross? The worst Christopher Walken. What are you talking about, dude? If you close your eyes, it's like he's sitting in here with you. I've never lost before. People are saying it's gone viral. Why do they make you do this? Because it's so good, and they like to imagine Christopher Walken sitting there with them. Like he's the other host on the podcast.

Starting point is 00:28:59 He's got beads in his two hole. Hey, Elon tweeted about this. He quote tweeted the story and said and he quoted um talent hits a target no one else can hit genius hits a target no one can see parentheses because it's in your butt okay shopping shopping that's a shopping hour quote correct you knew that who's shopping off the dawn yeah i didn't see it on your computer screen uh he is look elon is the most immature billionaire we will ever have like it or either that or he's like he just loves shit posting and dumping out stupid humor onto twitter so much that he can't help himself because he knows it stimulates the masses just like dave would be stimulating

Starting point is 00:29:41 dylan with that remote and correct yep i can't tell which one it is, though, man. I have a pretty immature sense of humor, all right? No. I appreciate that about myself. It's one of the things I like about me. It keeps me young. I fancy you like a Wes Anderson guy. But this fucking guy, Elon,

Starting point is 00:30:01 he's on a 12-year-old level humor still, which is crazy because he's like a 42-year-old man with more money than God. A lot of money. Yeah, it's weird. It's definitely a strange... I don't put it past him, especially at this point since we've seen what he's done with Twitter. I don't put it past him to spend billions of dollars just fucking around on some shit, which puts you in a real Bond villain type of situation. That's what the whole space thing's about.

Starting point is 00:30:27 Being the final frontier. He just wants to go to space, man. He's trying to colonize Mars. It ain't happening. Not in our lifetime, son. We can barely cut. We're fucking up this shit so fast here. I don't know what he wants to go fuck something else up for.

Starting point is 00:30:40 Yeah. Tell me about it. I work with Dylan, the guy who famously does not recycle. You hear about this jimmy webb you're about this jimmy webb telescope situation oh yeah jimmy webb man dude it can look like billions of years into the past doesn't that rock your shit there's galaxies does that not rock your shit it it does new jim webb just dropped did you see that what it's some space shit i didn't get new gem web anyway mars think about it final frontier what am i thinking about i'm familiar with the planet

Starting point is 00:31:13 think about it bitch like us on mars would you go fuck no i've got a family going down with the ship how many people have to go before you, before you'll consider going to Mars? If they're like, all right, we colonized it with 10,000 people for five years, now will you go? I'm the last one getting on the ship from Earth. Is it under? Last one.

Starting point is 00:31:32 Is there a dome, a bubble dome, to where I don't have to wear a breathing apparatus? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Absolutely not going. It just doesn't sound very baller. Have you seen photos of that thing? It's just a giant, red, terrifying rock. It's not a very baller place like no offense but it would just be like hanging out and yeah big spring texas they have dope shit like lakes and like

Starting point is 00:31:52 no and stuff no although we did go skiing there like no you do there for fun no there's a space that's it that's all fucking dave just fucking twirling his thumbs and pulling on his pecker the fuck has anybody done that in space yeah sure are you kidding it's the first thing you do it's the first thing you do in spain i think they had to make an announcement about i'm not joking google like astronauts masturbating and they had to make an announcement i'm telling you to tell them to stop jacking it in the in the in the international space station before they dismantled it because they're worried about people getting pregnant shut i swear to god that's not a thing i swear to god they don't let it just float around in there

Starting point is 00:32:40 you think i'm immature enough to just make up this space cum story i think you you clicked on an onion article you thought it was real no i think on god fam per per snopes damn it no did did nasa warn astronauts not to masturbate in space some news outlets definitely use sensational and misleading titles to generate clicks no they don't it says from rooters nasa has not issued a warning to male astronauts about the danger of masturbating in space y'all wanted to start over some online have misattributed a quote from a comedian in a podcast to a guest on the show who works as a mechanical engineer for a nasa contractor and it was me was it you yeah it was me come on i started dude for us to learn about this during podcast week is

Starting point is 00:33:25 pretty fortuitous right no but seriously the amount of headlines new york post nasa contractor pressed on what happens if you give astronauts porn uh i don't know what the site is but nasa scientists say astronauts should not masturbate in space like that's serving as the third thing to show up on google man so they need to get their shit together. That's just not very sex positive. Doesn't seem like it. They don't believe in self-care. Even if you do get one off up there, you got to clean your shit up. You can't let it float around.

Starting point is 00:33:55 No, you certainly can't. Got to catch it in your own mouth. Okay. Stop it. Come on. This is a family-friendly session. Okay, don't laugh at that These people are sick

Starting point is 00:34:06 That's not funny What kind of audience is that Why'd you bring all these people in here Alright but it would be fun With food and space To like throw a fucking Cheeto And then you know Space swim over

Starting point is 00:34:15 And catch it in your mouth That's like day one space shit though Yeah Everyone does that Yeah But you're not gonna let me This fucking guy Drop a load in your mouth

Starting point is 00:34:24 From distance From distance but you're not going to let me, this fucking guy, drop a load in your mouth from distance. From distance. I'm sorry. I know this is a family show. I'm sorry. Speaking of distance, I'm trying to go the distance with our good friends at DraftKings. That's true.

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Starting point is 00:35:18 when you place a $5 bet on any football game. That's code WASHED, only a DraftKings sportsbook an official sports betting partner of the NFL minimum age and eligibility restrictions do apply see show notes for details I think the Cowboys are gonna cover no no I think they'll ever be up by 10 no whatever probably not I shouldn't look like it ask Ask me the same question. They stink, baby. About my football team. How's your football team doing? First place, Houston Texans undefeated. It's been a game, dog.

Starting point is 00:35:52 Yeah, we tied the Colts, and it was because they played like dog shit. We suck. Oh, I saw that, yeah. We're big stinky. We're tied for first in the division. Davis Mills looked competent. Oh, yeah. We were really bad.

Starting point is 00:36:04 Did his neck get any shorter in the off season no you gotta get past the neck thing i love his neck it's a thing of beauty the dude is all neck that's a trunk a tree trunk just because you were i pass out you were like bobby schmurda for sure why not you hear about the schmurda character oh man that's a good song that was a good song when it when it had its day smurda um what else you want to do on this show what do you want to do you're mixing in murder ink it's murder you should have done that that's actually cool yeah did you watch we talked a little erv gadi when i did rbp we did is that doc documentary out the murder ink doc i kind of want

Starting point is 00:36:43 to watch it that was a big part of my high school career. Yeah. I don't know if it's out yet. I feel like I would have heard about it if it was, though. You know what is out? This Instagram thing

Starting point is 00:36:54 where the stories just play audio. Dude, Dave, you are cooking today on the transitions. I'm channeling Will. Will's in Italy. We're kind of vibing. Cooking like Russ.

Starting point is 00:37:02 Wait, what? Is that a thing dude people have been posting about it and then i realized lots of booty chatter you just so you can you know you used to be able to not have the audio play right when you open instagram and open a story now it just blares and i'll tell you they've been jacking with this on all the platforms though i don't like it i notice now dave if i'm listening to the spotify's and i and then i open the twitter app my music stops playing now you tell me why the fuck i need that to happen hey man that's happening to me too what the shit is that you gotta stop this shit dylan uses pandora

Starting point is 00:37:34 he's not even a spot it doesn't i'm telling you it and they it's this is a a conscious decision by the app makers though because it's like it didn't used to happen now it's happening y'all change something and you're screwing with my vibes because i'm listening in the middle of a song i'm getting to the good part and now i open twitter just because i want to read some tweets while i'm listening to the song and the fucking song stops playing you know what happened to me yesterday i'm in the car of course my phone is connected to the bluetooth technology not to brag i have bluetooth in the car generational wealth wow listen to radio, and I heard a song that was like, oh, this is a pretty dope song.

Starting point is 00:38:06 I wonder what it is. I pull out Shazam. We care a lot. I pull out Shazam. I'm still a Shazam guy. It's one of my favorite apps. It was Lizzo. Shazam is dope.

Starting point is 00:38:13 Yeah. I pull out Shazam, and when I open the app, the radio cuts off in my car because my phone can't figure out that I want to do both at the same time. That's the whole purpose of the app. Somebody is in the steam room right now. What are you doing shazam people figure the shit out dude they changed something another example of this they changed something to where on my fucking bluetooth in my car now if i'm listening to music and then i open instagram it starts playing the audio through the and i'm just like i don't it didn't happen two weeks ago why is it

Starting point is 00:38:44 happening now what kind of car do you have i can't remember mine is it's a it's a he's pushing a test i know i know just thank you for thank you for bringing up my car it's a tesla all right it's technologically where it needs to fucking be it's the cyber truck is that right doesn't that do a thing cyber truck doesn't it do a thing when like on Christmas where you can press a button and it like pops trunk and plays Ode to Joy that would be sick

Starting point is 00:39:08 if it popped trunk doesn't it do something like that do you hit switches in there it makes it makes some very obnoxious noises no one has put switches

Starting point is 00:39:17 on a Tesla somebody has I guarantee it he put candy paint on there see the parking lot outside Dave dude Ross is dripping everywhere.

Starting point is 00:39:25 Ross, I'm looking out the window right now. Your rims are still spinning. And paint is all over the place. We got to clean this up. I didn't even fucking drive here. I didn't even drive here. All right. But yeah, it does weird shit on Christmas.

Starting point is 00:39:38 Somebody's rims are spinning out there. I'll tell you that. I do. Okay. Someone's got spree wells out there. Tell me I shouldn't put spinners on the Tesla. Why wouldn't you that's a better question how much do you think that'll run why wouldn't you do it uh i do not have an answer to that exactly i think i might have to do it you can still buy spinners surely what is the point of of living this this obnoxious life if

Starting point is 00:40:00 i'm not gonna go full all out with hey the thing is when you stop they keep spinning you know those wheels the thing about them you know those wheels that stick out? You know the wheels that stick out? What do you call them? Spokes? I saw a guy the other day who got in a wreck with somebody. Shut up. Because of his ribs.

Starting point is 00:40:13 Was it like an old Riviera? Yeah, it was. My neighbor has an old Riviera with spokes. They stick out like two feet. Okay, yeah. And he keeps it in his garage. He cites somebody like, this must happen all the time this dude has an old riviera and it's like very nice and it keeps it in his garage and it's like his weekend cruise

Starting point is 00:40:31 around you can't park in a parking but it has spokes on it yes do they stick like like you're watching a paul wall video elbows elbows poking out he's also sitting sideways yeah it's a thing where i'm from and every time i've seen those cars growing up in houston i'm like how the fuck is this not regularly a wreck it reminds me of the scene how's it little rascals where they're in the go-kart race and he presses a button and that thing pops out the side of his wheel that rich little shit kid and it shreds the other people's tire i'm like that's just what this is also a button it's just out all the time similar to the street race title for title pink slips on the line in greece oh my god there's a scene where that happened imagine imagine you're in a full greece love imagine you're in a full parking lot and you see a couple of spaces that

Starting point is 00:41:16 are available on either side of this old riviera like oh i can park here no you can't because the rims are like all the way in the parking space. They protrude into the next spot. Dave, you ever think about that? That's something I've thought about. You stupid idiot. Yeah, I'm not getting those. I'm just getting normal spinners like the 3.6 Mafia. Yeah, Spreewells.

Starting point is 00:41:36 Anyway, Instagram's got a real problem here. That's an all-time. It shouldn't be that big of a deal but it is if i'm sitting here in the bullpen and people are working and i open up instagram and it's like we care a lot exactly more on that later something plays it's just really annoying to people and uh you know who's really bad about it and they're gonna they've caught some smoke already is barrett barrett barrett used to like straight up watch full videos without headphones. What you watching, dude?

Starting point is 00:42:07 You're going to share it with the whole class? Yeah. It sounds like a humorous Twitter vid. What is it? Seriously, this is not cool. You cannot do this, people. You cannot be playing fucking TikToks, flipping through with it on full volume with a bunch of people around you.

Starting point is 00:42:22 Yeah, keep your volume down, dog. What the hell is wrong with you? It's called sound. of people around you. Yeah, keep your volume down, dog. What the hell is wrong with you? It's called sound. It's ear assault. Yeah, grow up, man. Figure it out. Fucking Barrett. Barrett, scumbag.

Starting point is 00:42:35 You hear he hates kids too? Yeah. We talked about it. Fucking crazy. Famous jerk. Don't invite him to your kid's first birthday party. Unbelievable. You egged him on.

Starting point is 00:42:41 Hey, man. That's my job. Come on my show and you say some dumb shit, I'm going to egg you on. I'll never do that. Keep going, baby. Tell me about how you hate the kids. He saw a loose thread. He just started pulling on it.

Starting point is 00:42:51 Barrett did the rest. Just handed him the rope. Just fucking have fun. I'm a stepdad of a three and a half year old toddler, man. I felt like I had a fucking free pass there to like nobody was going to question me on the kid's birthday party thing. So I was like, yeah, yeah. Tell me more.

Starting point is 00:43:04 How much do you hate children's birthday parties let's make it a whole segment and he was with it he just kept going did you were you at my son's first birthday i don't think so you kept handing the gas he just kept throwing it on the fire that's right we had a toddy bar also i had no idea how many birthday parties for children he had recently been to which made it all the more hilarious when hilarious when I put that clip up and people were upset. Did that make its way into your hometown friend group text? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it did.

Starting point is 00:43:35 Real quick. Real quickly. But, yeah, it's very funny to me that y'all threw him under the bus. He had no idea that was coming either. We had to. You just assaulted him. We torpedoed should have he should have seen that coming we skewered his ass like that's that's kind of on him if he didn't think that was coming up off the rip i uh i would have come in prepared to defend myself if i was him but he thinks you got any

Starting point is 00:43:57 bones to pick with bill he thinks paywall content is safe it's not no no yeah just because you said paywall doesn't give you uh you said what you said is this the segment where we where we air our grievances against bill yeah i got a lot of problems with you yeah go ahead you start now it's my fucking turn is that what you're doing you bring in your friends and then you just fucking air out your personal shit it's just kind of it's just kind of therapy it's group therapy that's the show now yeah welcome back we bring it up will doesn't know it we roast them we've changed our our platform this is where we roast our friends i fucking text with defreeze the other day this dude says we got to get on the show

Starting point is 00:44:37 together when i'm actually in town within and i'm like yeah for sure because it's still this thing this running joke like i don't think i've ever done circling back when Will was actually here. And within a week of that message conversation, Dave texts me. He's like, Will's on vacation. Can you come do the show? I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Fucking Will. Set me up, man.

Starting point is 00:45:00 Vacation Will. Still one of the best nicknames and content personas to me. He needs to get that tat. That dude can straight take it i gotta say vacation will needs to be put on on notice that his wife is dominating him on vacation content did you have you checked this morning last night oh really it was a late night event okay i was gonna say because the little story bars are like this big night because he has a million i'm like like, RBP old school. Oh, I definitely did. I watched his story on the way here. Okay, yeah. That was ridiculous and sick.

Starting point is 00:45:29 And an amazing amount of very cool photos. But I'm saying from an entertainment standpoint, Sally is crushing Will when they're on vacation. To me. I'm a Sal gal guy. We'll let him know. Did you watch the entire story thread he posted? I might not have gotten to the end because like you said,

Starting point is 00:45:44 it was like 600 slides. The last one is him at Chipotle stealing napkins. He went to Chipotle? No, it's just a callback to the Ross bit. What the fuck? That's what I was calling it. He just made that up? Can you imagine going to Italy and stopping in at Chipotle?

Starting point is 00:45:59 Just getting like a big ass burrito? It's farm to table over there. Wait, did he go there for soccer though? And then they canceled it because the queen died? was part of it he went for a wedding okay wedding tuscany fit in hey i thought it was in tuscany it's outside of feed in tuscany actually encompasses that region yeah well i was checking make sure you did i've never been across the pond myself have you not nah man just check it out man nah man i'm an isolationist okay what's that you are yeah you totally are i'm a nationalist yeah big ron paul guy i don't know what that

Starting point is 00:46:32 means i'm gonna be careful about what i say you're just fine isolationist you're a globalist globalist as well folks we got ross balling of the ross balling podcast show famously of the Ross Bowen Podcast Show. Globalist. Famously of the New World Order. Ross, give me your top five nut moments from the last administration. Your Alex Jones is phenomenal. It's phenomenal. I'm getting sued to be Jesus.

Starting point is 00:47:00 You goddamn son of a bitch. Hey, fucker. Listen here, fucker. You goddamn son of a bitch is one hey fucker listen here fucker you goddamn son of a bitch is one of the funniest things anybody's ever said that guy could get canceled into oblivion that clip i can't it's go to i can't watch that clip one time i have to go back it's just you it is just a man on someone you goddamn son of a bitch. Listen here. He says, listen here. Similarly to... What is he...

Starting point is 00:47:26 Why is he so folksy? Listen here. Listen here. You goddamn son of a bitch. Hey! Similarly to Trump, it's like you can't deny the quality of the content. Right. While at the same time, it's difficult to look away from the damage he probably does.

Starting point is 00:47:42 But this dude, he's one of those guys. I can't tell if Alex Jones is so committed to the bit that he became the bit, right? Yeah. Or if he is a legitimate psychopath that doesn't realize what he's meddling with. I think it's the former. He's a CIA operative. Yeah, he's obviously a CIA plant. Folks, I'm a little sus.

Starting point is 00:48:06 A lot of people think that. The day that Trump lost his Twitter privileges was a sad content day for everyone. It was. What's that new platform he's on that you're also on? Truth Social. Don't you have equity in Truth Social? No, I don't. You and the MyPillow guy?

Starting point is 00:48:22 I think he's just volume shooting on Truth Social. I might download it just for you can't don't download don't do it dude you don't want to be on that watch database they're gonna seize your phone when your rbs or some shit i love these fucking idiots trying to launch new social medias like yeah it's just that easy we'll all hop on bro no come on it takes more than a few celebrities to get us all to jump on the bandwagon we saw what happened to peach my family is currently trying to get me to join be real and i had to tell them to suck my balls you told your family to tell your family that i told my whole family that debbie's a nice lady my brother my

Starting point is 00:48:56 my debbie my sister-in-law are you still on sina webo no but seriously i'm not getting on twitter there better be a fucking life-changing reason you're asking me to join another what is be real i genuinely don't they still post on peach it's fucked it's it's it's legitimately like this this is what makes be real sick the selling point is that it's not like other social medias because it forces you to be real you basically get buzzed and it's like you got 30 seconds to post a picture of you doing really what you're doing so you're like oh shit i'm doing this show. Stop, stop, stop.

Starting point is 00:49:27 Your phone buzzes or the beads in your ass buzz? Hey, man, that sounds terrible. That's awful. So now you're more under control of the social media app you've downloaded because it literally tells you when to use it, gives you parameters for when you can post, and is doing that to you X amount of times a day. Is this the kids or millions and millions of people apparently need to ask when callie gets in i want to see if her and her friends she's not on be real man maybe it's something we need to get in no dude randy's randy's got to look like he might be in it randy what do you got i'm turning your mic up no callie

Starting point is 00:49:59 and obby definitely are they were talking about it all the time they are shut the fuck up the kids are on this these are are UT students, man. This is sick, man. That's fucked up. I can't do it. That's a terrible reason to join an app. Randy, look me in the eyes. Are you on it?

Starting point is 00:50:13 No. Dude, if you want reality, go walk around outside. The phone and the TV are for pretend. That's my opinion. Go touch grass. Go touch grass, loser. Fucking dorks. Fucking bunch of dorks around here.

Starting point is 00:50:24 Be real, dude. Anyway. You think Liver, loser. Fucking dorks. Fucking bunch of dorks around here. Be real, dude. Anyway. You think Liver King's on Be Real? Yeah. You don't feel like it's just like that camera thing where it was chat roulette? Like it's just going to end up being people masturbating, right? Yeah. Everything goes.

Starting point is 00:50:36 I took 30 seconds to take a picture. I got my hog out. Chat roulette was just a bunch of people masturbating, it turns out. It was. It was disturbing content. Oh, man. You saw a lot of fat guy dicks in there. Everything is it's true best line in the history of tv underrated season of true detective in my opinion underrated huh vince vaughn was great he was perfect oh my gosh i might

Starting point is 00:50:57 re-watch that shit just for the vince vaughn lines one day we're really cooking now aren't we dave we are cooking before we really cook can we uh give a shout out to our good friends our og sponsor day one in the door let us use their studio our friends at early bird early bird early bird cbd ross check this out early bird gummies are a recreational hemp product and contain 2.5 milligrams of natural thc and 12.5 milligrams of cbd in each gummy formulated for fun and make you feel good i am not exaggerating when i say i take one almost every weeknight helps me sleep the the best sleep aid of all time that's true well i don't even do i don't need melatonin it's called you will bill i know you're on that sticky shit but you should try some early bird too man i will it sounds like a phenomenal product.

Starting point is 00:51:45 It is. He said he knows you're on that sticky shit. He does. That's what he said. I mean, I am too. Hey, you know how sticky it gets. Only the stickiest. Ross, check this out.

Starting point is 00:51:54 Some folks use them to relax. Some folks use them to pregame a little before going out. That's Dylan. Dylan's always going out to galas. Some folks like to get that little buzz before they hit Barton Springs. Dylan goes there too. But what it comes down to is that what they formulated is a microdose of THC that makes you feel great no matter what you're getting into. And you don't have to get lit. I don't get lit every week.

Starting point is 00:52:16 No, I just take it and I relax. I watch maybe a House of Dragons episode featuring incest orgy. A nice, smooth, subtle high. And it's very pleasant. Very pleasant. You don't want to be stoned off your gourd. You want to just relax and get some good sleep. Some people do want to be stoned off their gourd, but that's not what this product's for.

Starting point is 00:52:33 That's true. You could take like six of them if you wanted to. If you wanted to. Not recommended, but do what you got to do. Early Bird is Austin-based. We'd like to garner, we would like of you guys to to recognize that they were our i mean legitimately first sponsor right absolutely paid us cash and also they're just really good dudes we know them very well really good dudes we got a code we got a new code this is a big

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Starting point is 00:53:21 What's your favorite weed strain right now? Personally, I'm on that Jeffrey Dahmer Kush. That can't be real. Dude, I've been gone off that orange. That's your favorite weed strain. That's your favorite weed strain. That's your favorite weed strain. That's your favorite weed strain.

Starting point is 00:53:35 That's your favorite weed strain. That's your favorite weed strain. That's your favorite weed strain. She gave me goosebumps. All right. They need to make that. Somebody's got to make that. I'd buy that.

Starting point is 00:53:42 No, but really. What kind of hooters are you puffing on? I'm trying to think, man. The few... The reeds ended, by the way. The few strains... I know all the strains. We did a segment recently.

Starting point is 00:53:54 I read every single one of them. The few strains I've got right now are newer. I haven't really fucked with them before, so I'm going to have to pull it up. I pull up to your house with just like a brick of that Shel Silverstein. Shit. Right now I've got rose gold runts.

Starting point is 00:54:12 I don't know. And Thin Mints, like the Girl Scout cookies. I pull up with a dime bag of Thin Mints. It's going. A dime bag. A dime bag doesn't go very far these days. Especially with inflation. What if I have 10 dime bags?

Starting point is 00:54:25 What is Bidenflation done to weed prices? And something else called iced out. It's not good. I went to Colorado for a wedding a couple weeks ago, and they obviously have legalized marijuana in Colorado, which is very nice if you're in Colorado. So I went to the dispensary. Guess how much a gram of wheat is twenty dollars i want to say i don't know ten thousand three dollars sir bill a gram to me

Starting point is 00:54:51 doesn't mean much i don't know how much when you were in high school you didn't buy grams of wheat i never bought weed so like most anybody was buying was a twenty twenty dollars where it was for like a gram i just bought dime bags of of weed when i was in high school i'm back dylan it's a gram is like a couple bowls, right? A few bowls. Okay. A few bowls. But it's $3 in Colorado.

Starting point is 00:55:10 My point is- And it's 20 here? In Colorado, everything is, the prices are being driven into the ground because there's all this competition. That's how capitalism typically works in the food market. Invisible hand. Yeah, sure. And then here, we're getting absolutely price gouged into hell.

Starting point is 00:55:26 It stinks. It's famously illegal in texas still right but so what they do is they get a bunch of this shit out of the back door in colorado or california and then they come down here and they sell it at a massive upcharge because it's like when you're in a that's what i do it's when you're in an if that's i know i heard you shouldn't admit to that when you're in an nfl stadium and they can charge you 14 bucks for a beer why is that it's because you don't have anywhere else to go. You're fucked. You're stuck there. You've got to pay this price.

Starting point is 00:55:47 This guy has no supply and demand. I do. Economics 101. And then if you're in Texas, they know they can charge you whatever the fuck for the weed because you don't have a choice. And as a result, pot prices during Bidenflation have gone crazy, to answer your question. It's a lot. It sounds like you were taking a

Starting point is 00:56:05 community college classes with uh with stringer of course that's a reference to the wire hbo's with stringer all-time great show i got a new plug it's the stickiest shit in austin i'll give it to you you know how sticky it gets yeah speaking of sticky do you guys see how russ uh got cooked uh-huh. Which Russ? The singer? He famously... No, I'm sorry. Russell Wilson.

Starting point is 00:56:29 Russ should be reserved for Russell Westbrook, a Russ that we like, I think. Most of us enjoy Russ in some capacity. Russ, to me, is Westbrook. I don't think he's very well liked. I like him. Fairly controversial figure, I would say. Doesn't have the cleanness of jay's anymore but you and i like jay's not clean and that's kind of your thing yeah you and i like him though as a as a

Starting point is 00:56:51 as a baller i don't want him on my team just say that exactly no that that's completely fair talking about west played for the rockets of course no but russ yeah for about 45 days 45 if you watched a monday night football you saw russ Russ get cooked. He caught an L. It's his old team. He caught an L. You've really fixated on Russell Wilson in recent weeks. Yeah. Why?

Starting point is 00:57:10 He's my least favorite athlete currently. Did he drop a cringe TikTok, as the kids say? You know what? Before I saw a TikTok, which I believe I saw it yesterday for the first time, I was still so out on this cornball. I've been with you for a number of years now where i'm just like oh my god this dude what's his problem he's the worst bro but he feels like it came to look obviously he did a lot of marketing build up to this matchup denver and his return to

Starting point is 00:57:37 the seattle seahawks so he was all over the gram his wife is ciara so she's all over the gram and the tiktok and i'm seeing this fucker everywhere how he locked down ciara i will never know are we doing ciara i thought it was sierra sierra sorry yeah it's sierra point being i don't know either i don't i i don't i don't know man but they're the cheesiest couple in the world this dude this suit he wore to to game one was like it was like a teal like almost the color of my nails, but a tuxedo. It was kind of shiny, too. Fucking outrageous. Shiny tuxedo.

Starting point is 00:58:09 But it's like you have to know the line. He has no fucking self-awareness. Dylan definitely knows the line. As many people point out on Twitter, when you wear a ridiculous outfit like that to a game, You better win, bro. You have to wear it to the press conference after taking an L, and that's not a good game. You better win, bro. You have to wear it to the press conference after taking an L, and that's not a good look.

Starting point is 00:58:27 You better win. Gotta win. You look like a dumbass. Wait, he was wearing a tux, right? Yeah, but he had to wear it to the post-game presser and answer questions about losing. I'm about to really, really tie this together. Remember that Office episode where Idris Elba,

Starting point is 00:58:40 Stringer Bell? Yep. It's like his first day, and it happened to be the day where Jim wore a tuxedo. Yes. To mess with Dwight. Yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:49 That's pretty much it. I can't really marry the two. I just wanted to point out that there was a connection. I mean, that's the same level of dumbass he looked like at this presser, for sure. Hey, we back up. Okay, but he saved it with a TikTok. Randy, if you can do us the honor. I have not seen this.

Starting point is 00:59:01 I just want to see this off the rip. Let's, oh, got to talk here. He has two lazy eyes. This is a Russell Wilson TikTok. Two lazy eyes. Is that what that is? Because I don't want to hear shit about looking stoned. This man looks stoned all the time.

Starting point is 00:59:15 Why is he not getting made funny? What I care about. Okay, run that back. It says what I care about. Faith, family, football, and then the four Fs. You got to close it out with flying, which makes a lot of sense. Okay. Well, but it specifically had an airplane next to flying.

Starting point is 00:59:36 He cares a lot about flying. Not traveling, not getting to a destination, but the actual act of getting there. Is he super into it? Can I? Bill. In defense of Russell Wilson, is the prompt that you have to do, it has to all be Fs?

Starting point is 00:59:50 Faith, family, friends, flying. He could have said a number of things that are better than flying. No, it's not that it has to be Fs. Felines. He chose to make it Fs. Cats, for sure. Yeah, just felines.

Starting point is 01:00:00 Frogs. Friends. That would have been a good one. He did friends. No, he did friends. Oh, he did friends? Friends in there? No. No, it was faith, football, he did friends in there no no family family football you know why because you gotta go fucking you didn't have any fucking friends that's the that's the problem he's got no fucking friends you ever

Starting point is 01:00:13 seen this dude with another dude that is not like a member of his press team you know what's funny to think about so um future obviously used to be with s. Yes. His kid is in the custody of Russell Wilson. Yes. Imagine Future watching this being like, oh my God, this man is raising my son. It's such an outrageous switch off between those two. The guy who's famous for like- Jay-Z put a line in one of his songs about it though, where he said, you got to be careful with how you handle your marriage or in the future some other dude

Starting point is 01:00:45 will be playing football with your kid and it was like a direct shot at that situation that's good it's a good line it's sneaky speaking of you know it is weird as fuck dylan's been popping perks yeah sick dude i don't pop popping perky it's not a funny joke about david no it's not david people die from perky crisis future crisis future likes to talk about perky sets but it is a it is a absolutely i'm the bad guy now? It's another one of the things about their situation Ciara and Russell Wilson Dave, it's the juxtaposition

Starting point is 01:01:10 Future to Russell Wilson One guy has He's a mumble rapper Who sips lean The other guy is a corny Future is one of the dudes that literally Takes pride in like How many baby mamas can I have?

Starting point is 01:01:27 Like, separate and individual of each other, right? And I think he's at, like, seven or eight now. And Ciara is just – and look, that's – I saw that wine video, man. I know what she's capable of. And that's where I get confused because I don't understand how Russell Wilson picked up the drop bag here. He's a Super Bowl winning quarterback. A man in good shape.

Starting point is 01:01:50 But he's a goober. He's such a douchebag. He's the ultimate douchebag. Dylan, no offense, but look in the mirror. I'm a douchebag too, but I'm a different kind of one. I'm a cool one, man. No, but he has no self-awareness. You know that.

Starting point is 01:02:01 I think he's finally become self-aware. I think he understands that his brand is cringe. Did you just watch that video? You think that finally become self-aware i think he understands that his brand is cringe did you just watch that video you think that man is self-aware oh yeah faith family football look here's the thing don't do these videos dude don't do these fellow that song is by uh noted 90s super group faith no more of course he what's he telling he ran is that he ran the one-man, two-minute offense. Remember? I did that last night. He was injured.

Starting point is 01:02:30 He was injured and he... Do you see this one, Bill? No, but I saw this week where he failed to call a fucking timeout for about 40 seconds. So when he had his... His hand was injured. He couldn't play. Okay. He got out there before a game.

Starting point is 01:02:43 I mean, this was last season. And he ran oh by himself in the game a pretend two-minute offense did you see him standing out there like a dumbass before the denver game before denver seattle spinning in a circle with his eyes closed it's like just don't do shit that makes you look like an asshole that's his brand and i love it there's a line though like like look yes there's X amount of douchebag in all of us. I've got a lot in me. I have to keep it tampered below a certain line as to not offend the other humans.

Starting point is 01:03:10 Everybody knows that. That's how you have to roll. Russell fails on every level to do this. He goes full douche. He has no real authenticity to him on any level. He just throws everything. They're asking him questions about how they lost this game. He's bringing Jesus into it and God into it but you just fucking lost it god and jesus got

Starting point is 01:03:30 nothing to do with it you got beat dude don't drag god's plan next question god's plan you know god famously gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers ah that's true that's true dylan you taught me that i don. Dylan, you taught me that. I don't remember that. You taught him that. I don't recall. You taught him. Anyway, I hate him.

Starting point is 01:03:54 What are you doing? It's that time. What? This Weekend in Fun, presented by Dylan. Athletic Greens. You love your Athletic Greens. You love your Athletic Greens. I do too.

Starting point is 01:04:07 It's how I start. I start every day with it. Every morning. Empty stomach. Rip open a pack. Mix it with a little bit of water. Boom. Getting my vegetables. In fact, I'm getting 75 high-quality vitamins.

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Starting point is 01:04:35 Thank you, Dave. It's the best way to start a day, as you mentioned. Your body can just, like, you can just feel it coming alive, I think, when you drink that stuff. It's fantastic. Really. It's like your body's thanking you for all the good shit you're putting for me it's tough to get the right servings of fruit and vegetables every day especially vegetables and like doing this is like it's a good way to start the day like knowing all right i'm covered i got those 75 high quality vitamins and minerals and all that and the way

Starting point is 01:05:03 it's described you might think it tastes like lawn clippings or something. No, it actually tastes sneaky pretty good. It is good. It's very good. And you know what? It's cheaper than getting all the different supplements yourself. Can you imagine? No.

Starting point is 01:05:14 You got like popping like eight pills or something or one like giant multivitamin. Not for me. We love it. To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.

Starting point is 01:05:30 All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash circling. Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash circling to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Ross, what are you doing this weekend only the fun stuff oh man yeah we always have like really dope stuff we're doing so if you have to paint a fence or something leave that out we don't want to hear about it okay so this weekend um when is ACL that's not this weekend right no octobes yeah that's next month, actually. Okay. So I'm looking at the calendar here. So I guess if it has to be fun, I've got nothing.

Starting point is 01:06:13 That's awesome. Ross Boland, everybody. Nothing. Man. Want to hang out or something? Good times, huh? No, dude. I've just gotten through a fucking ridiculously tumultuous period.

Starting point is 01:06:24 I'm trying to chill on the weekends. I'm resting. That's what I'm doing. What are you doing that's so fucking badass? We got to do a little segment on it. Thanks for asking. I have a lot of cool stuff going on. Friday, I'm stepping out to dinner.

Starting point is 01:06:35 Wow. Oh, this guy eats meals. I mean, I'll probably go to dinner. Very cool. Bay and I are going to go to Matzo Rancho. You guys hear about this place? I have heard of it. I haven't been in a while. Going to Matzo Rancho. You guys hear about this place? I have heard of it. I haven't been in a while.

Starting point is 01:06:46 Going to Matzo Rancho. We're going with actually two of Will's siblings-in-law. Okay. Yeah. Let me ask you this. They ever given you anything free?

Starting point is 01:06:57 No. What the fuck is going on in there? In fact, they charge a lot. What the fuck is going on in there? Can we get some recognition? Man. On some level? The thing is, is like we could stop

Starting point is 01:07:06 going and they would never know because i know they get they get a million people in there every day okay but seriously over the years the amount of customers we've sent their direction i hear you give us one one free bar give me a give me a bob yeah some large bob a fucking t-shirt something i don't know throw me a knockout martini you know i'm just saying it starts to piss me off when i think about it. So that's Friday. Saturday, kind of a family day. Soccer game for the P-Man.

Starting point is 01:07:31 Oh, yeah. Family coming up from San Marcos. Going to hang out, watch a little football probs. How organized is their soccer right now? Is it chaos? Like, you know, you know what I'm saying? It is, but it's really taken a step up in quality from last year. That's huge. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:47 And so they actually understand spacing a little bit better now. They don't all just run at the ball. Run in a clump. Just kick each other's shits. Yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. There's still some of that. That's funny for like 20 minutes,

Starting point is 01:07:55 and then when you realize you're going to have to do a whole season of it, it's like, oh, fuck. They do this thing where if they see the ball in the open field, they just kick it out of bounds as far as they can. I'm like, that's not really what you're supposed to do supposed to do we gotta go chase it and reset the whole just come on it's really annoying uh but yeah okay they rolled last week by the way they he looked flying his jersey man oh yeah and shin guards and everything oh he's sick with it you know he's 18 now he grew up so fast crazy that's pretty much all i got

Starting point is 01:08:25 what are you doing dave i got nothing dude i'm not really doing anything i'm gonna you know what i'm doing i need to see a swing instructor on friday because i got this i got this thing where i cannot stop pulling my irons wait what i got that same shit you go see us swinging straight you're making it sound like it's like just as easy as going to get a haircut i've got a guy that you can just go see i have to i have to make an appointment on his online portal okay you seen this no that's tight though i'll go to his website and i will find a time and if you click on it yeah that's crazy okay internet for it's pretty dope dude so that's how deep into golf you are right now huh well it's just it's it's it's ruined like my last the last two months of golf so it's to the point where if i'm gonna keep doing this i gotta figure it out and i'm obviously not

Starting point is 01:09:14 good enough to make the adjustment myself he's still mid okay are you doing well in golf yourself no he's not even mid that's the thing that's what's i. Not even mid. That's the thing. That's what's funny. I gotta tell you. Going stones at me. Probably the thing that fell off the hardest for me during the pandemic. I lost golf to the, it just sailed off.

Starting point is 01:09:33 Were we the last people you played with? Yeah, dude. I never go. I've played, I think, one time in three years. It's fucked up. And I don't want to go.

Starting point is 01:09:40 It's too hot and I suck too much ass. Yeah. I'm not gonna fault you there. And this is not like a, oh, I'll just go to my swing swing instructor i'm dave i'll tweak it a little bit and go shoot 90 a full reset fuck that i need someone to rip my arms off yeah put different arms on shoulder problem something i don't know but i stink you got a shoulder problem you stink baby i stink baby like nobody you've seen stink though like people listen and they're like oh yeah okay

Starting point is 01:10:04 he's probably not that bad. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Trust me, he stinks. I am the woat. He will drop a bill if you're ever in Cabo and he forgets his golf shoes and golf balls. Weren't they well over a bill? He has the nicest golf shoes in America. The amount of money I spent on that round still, to this day, haunts me.

Starting point is 01:10:28 That was not cool. that was not cool that was not cool you got some good shoes out of it i had to rent clubs i had to buy shoes i think i spent 850 you bought a box of pro v1 the 850 round of golf why'd you get pro v's i'm a fucking idiot because he's a big baller what was i doing out there what kind of question is that why was i even playing the round you could have swapped them for some noodles. You never would have known. I'm not joking. I love the new hats. You like this shirt?

Starting point is 01:10:49 Hey, guess what? I'll give you one. I'll get you one. Well, I was going to say, can I leave with a hat? We'll give you a promo code. I'll wear the hat. We're going to have some in this office in a couple of days, but they're not here yet. Oh, a couple of days, huh?

Starting point is 01:10:59 They're in round, though. I've got to come back in a couple of days? I'll find you. Fuck me. Okay. I'll send a courier. I'll figure it out. Will's out Monday, too, so if you want to just come back then. Just do the. I'll find you. Fuck me. Okay. I'll send a courier. I'll figure it out. Will's out Monday too.

Starting point is 01:11:06 So if you want to just come back then. Just do the show again. And just run it back. I'm sure people would like that. Hey, today's been all about running it back, you know? Hey. Okay. We didn't roast Russell Wilson hard enough.

Starting point is 01:11:16 No, I think you guys did. I'm a video fan. That guy stinks. That dude stinks. I'm a fan, dude. That guy sucks. The guy's just got it all, man. And he loves flying now go

Starting point is 01:11:26 watch that sierra music video it will upset you one two step that one no the one where it's called ride just watch it after the show is it horny don't watch it yeah it's real horny you may need to leave but i'm not trying to deal with horny dylan it will make you think about how russell wilson is spending a significant amount of time with that woman. Have you ever thought that maybe he's just a phenomenal lover? Yeah. I have too. Because it's got to be something going on.

Starting point is 01:11:53 He's too corny to be a good lover. No, sometimes the corniest are the horniest. Yeah. Okay, I'm watching it on. Obviously, the volume is off. Knee-jerk reaction. She's sick with it. Oh, dude, it gets so sticky in there oh yeah she's got

Starting point is 01:12:09 okay other than that i don't really have much planned ludacris is in that video i saw him at a wu chao once ludacris he was with aubrey marcus hey it was the it was the i will say the biggest group of douche in one table i've ever seen don't say that about him the hip movement is noteworthy i would say great mobility more so than i have hey i had the i went to wooch out for the dim sum brunch with my family on sunday last sunday yeah this is me making up for not having any plans so i'm going to just tell you for the second time this week about my weekend um the last weekend the last one yeah it's really good i don't know if you've done it i know you're a wooch out guy i am friends with the guy it's phenomenal the brunch is it's it's really good. I don't know if you've done it. I know you're a Wuchow guy. I am. You're friends with the guy. It's phenomenal.

Starting point is 01:12:46 The brunch is really good. Is he still in there? Did you see him in there? I didn't see him. I don't know what his deal is anymore. I haven't talked to him in a while. Pandemic. How did he lock Sierra down?

Starting point is 01:12:56 It affected millions of people. It's got to be what he just said. I'm not joking. It's got to be that this guy's just got an absolute tongue on him or something. There's got to be something going on. Facts on facts seriously you've seen the tongue on this guy it's like personality it's like randy bringing sydney sweeney to our christmas dinner or something all right it's like kind of that level no offense wait can you imagine if you're saying if randy brought sydney sweeney to your christmas dinner that's where yeah the level of shock is for you

Starting point is 01:13:22 with russell wilson and ciara yeah wow that's really insulting to russ not to you necessarily hey just don't bring uh sydney sweeney's extended family to our christmas dinner we don't have that many chairs i didn't see that shit coming i didn't see that shit coming yeah anyway all right sydney sweeney r. Ross, where can the folks at home find you? I don't know. TikTok. Find me on TikTok. With the kids.

Starting point is 01:13:53 That's cool, man. You know what I do while they're dealing for the kids, man? I bleep out all the curse words I say. They're just gone. Is that a thing you should do? Should we be doing that? Is that algae friendly? I believe so. Okay.

Starting point is 01:14:04 The Chinese are strange with the things they'll let you say. So I just bleep out all the words. Randy, do we do that? It might not be okay. I don't want to do that. We're the bad boys at TikTok. Yeah, we don't give a fuck, bro. Yeah, we all haven't been in TikTok jail like I have, dude.

Starting point is 01:14:15 I've been in TikTok prison. Damn. Yeah, they'll shut your shit down. You busted out, though. It's fucked up. I got out. I'm clean and free. Out the clink.

Starting point is 01:14:22 But yeah, I appreciate y'all. At WR Bolin on Twitter and Instagram. Thanks for having me. It's been a real treat. The show's always a lot of fun. A real treat. I'm clean and free. Out to clink. But yeah, I appreciate y'all. At WRBowlin on Twitter and Instagram. Thanks for having me. It's been a real treat. The show's always a lot of fun. A real treat. I really like you two. You're a fun guy.

Starting point is 01:14:30 You two guys. We like you, man. Not so much Will, but he wasn't here, so it doesn't matter. We don't either. Yeah. Well, Dylan, as always, you've been great. Thanks, Dave. I thought you were good too, man.

Starting point is 01:14:40 Thanks, man. You were also pretty solid, man. I fought through it. This window's still open. No, you're not joking. It's still there. It's giving me a live update on cryptocurrencies, and it's not looking good. I do see it's 78 degrees.

Starting point is 01:14:51 I think it's frozen, so it's probably heated up. I was going to say, that can't be right. Yeah. Anyway, we'll see you on... Hey, we're recording Patreon tomorrow. Listen to our voicemails. And then I'll be back Monday. And then Ross will probably be back Monday to get his hat and do the pod.

Starting point is 01:15:06 And we got the Too Much Dip live stream tomorrow night, Thursday night, 630 Central on the Too Much Dip YouTube. We will see you soon. Sports. Bye. Outro Music

Circling Back - Kangaroos, Chess Vibes And Nut Moments With Ross Bolen

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