Circling Back - Killer Whales & Birdwatching Dave

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Killer whales are tossing boats over in Gibraltar, Bezos proposes to Tony Gonzalez's ex-wife, Dave about to be on his birdwatching grind, AI Bill Simmons doing ad reads, two (2) Worst Weekends from Will, and This Weekend in Fun. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:20) Orcas Sinking Boats (35:19) Bezos Gets Engaged (45:00) Birdwatching Dave is Different (55:00) AI Bill Simmons Coming For Our Jobs (1:00:00) Will’s Worst Weekends of the Week (1:10:36) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Shady Rays: www.shadyrays.com/steam (Code STEAM for buy one, get one free!) Squarespace: www.squarespace.com/steam (STEAM for 10% off your purchase of a website or domain) ROW by Academy: Head to a store or at www.academy.com/row  Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin texas my name is will to my left dave ruff. I'm the type of guy who, like I'll complain when the thunderstorm misses my part of Austin, but then when it wakes me up at 3.15 in the morning with some mediocre thunder claps, you know, nothing crazy. Wasn't clapping cheeks up there. I'll get upset because it interferes with my sleep. So I'm kind of, it's a duality of man situation will so i won't let you guys know that's where i'm at man so why were you and brett talking droughts and bullpen earlier bringing down the whole vibe because brett asked me i know

why is he like it rained last night why is he worried about droughts right now oh we need a lot of rain to uh get parts of the state out of the uh severe drought but trying to get better in western okay like but like how does the drought really affect brad you know he wants to have a hot boy summer he wants to hit the lake man he's not worried about his lawn i know that i probably won't even look at lake travis this summer that being said i don't like knowing that it's like half full. Yeah, it's depressing. It bothers me. It's depressing. So I get excited when the lake levels rise.

Man, summer 2011, you guys weren't here, but it was a tough one. You could like almost walk across the bottom of Lake Travis. Was that also the wildfire summer? Or was that a different summer? I don't know, David. Okay. See, that wouldn't even affect me. Because I don't go to lake travis like ever what did it affect you that there were 100 straight days of 100 plus degree heat yeah not good yeah yeah but i mean it was kind of just feels like that anyway in the summertime here it just sucks no matter

how it goes summertime dylan chivery ladies and gentlemen hey guys happy to be here um i did this space mug thing yesterday on Patreon, so I'm not going to do it again, but I am using my space mug, so thanks again. You literally just did it again. No, I didn't do the whole spiel, but I'm happy to be here.

It's going to be a good day of content, a surprisingly good day of content, actually. Why surprisingly? I don't know. Does it shock you that we do good content? Sometimes we have days that are not excellent, but this is not going to be one of them. Okay, good.

So what's your gut feeling? You just think it's going to be good just because? Yeah, just intuition. Okay, I'm going to do my best. That's all you can ask for. Went to the gas station today. First time I'd been to the gas station near my place in probably three months.

What's your go-to gas station over there? I go to the 7-Eleven over there. I don't go inside because, I'll be honest, really shitty inside. It's also got traditionally one of the most unfriendly staffs I've ever met in my entire life. Today I walked in, and not only had they redone parts of checkout, in and not only had they redone parts of checkout uh they also seem to have hired an all-new staff who was absolutely blasting reggaeton music and that's something i'm in on and so i'd like to congratulate the 7-eleven near my crib i did parks had to do an emergency tinky in there one time in the bathroom never go in there it is they haven't cleaned it in months i don't think it's terrible

well i'm saying i think they're on the up and up they realize they realize there were some bad reviews so they had to get some a new team in there good that badly needed did you um did you look at the clipboard on the inside of the door you know the manager's supposed to sign off when it's like just hey checking in making sure there's not doo-doo feces on the floor this this is a move that that i do with parks when we go into a public restroom especially one that's really dirty i say don't touch anything that you don't have to yeah that's that's some classic dad vernacular when he was little uh littler smaller he used to like lean against the toilet as he peed in no i can't do that you cannot do that we've gotten over that though i'm not there yet but i i'm dreading it because you know me how i

get with them germs kids are gross man they don't really understand the whole germ thing like we do it will i'm going to check stop this weekend who has noted terrible bathrooms but i like that they have terrible bathrooms i like that they have terrible bathrooms i like that they're gross i like that that you walk in and you feel like you're you're at a road stop on the texas highway uh yeah i don't want to ruin check stop so i'm just not gonna what i'm just saying when in a restaurant like that i'm hoping that they have their own private bathroom in the back. Because if the only bathroom in there is dirty, I don't want the people that are preparing the pastries, the items.

Well, Dave, you know that they probably have an industrial kitchen, which probably has an industrial grade sink that they can wash their hands in. Yeah, I know. great sink that they can wash their hands yeah i know i'm just saying i would i i feel a little bit better about establishments if their bathroom is at least tolerable i go too hard for check stop so you're not going to ruin it for me because i will ride for them to dallas and bat i may have to go check out slovocheks dude no if you want to wait in line and you want to see a bunch of chuggy ass merch standing around you and you want to to get a kolache that doesn't taste as good as the one across the way, then you're more than welcome to go to Slavachek's. I thought Chekstop had more of a line than Slavachek's.

They both have lines these days. It just depends on what you're doing. The issue that we're having right now is that Slavachek's, the more mom-and-pop shop, they have, for some reason shut down half of the restaurant which means that two lines are now one line and so it just kind of depends that's a big line got to imagine friday afternoon when i hit that's not going to be the ideal situation for a kolache it's weird to me that the kolaches are so popular on the highways in texas but like no one goes within austin to go get a kolache for breakfast that is true there's a place not too far from you dave that apparently has really good kolaches

but no one would know because no one actually gets them unless they're on the highway driving somewhere when's the last time you had an in austin kolache that's what i'm talking this is this is in this is in a neighborhood neighborhood ish neighborhood adjacent it's not on a highway yeah oh lone star is good yeah that's good i'm not gonna i can't really say it compares but it's good we go there sometimes right there on william cannon right over by that t cloud yes sir i want to doctor hood but yeah that's okay south austin's big yeah and have you been there yeah oh okay yeah it's good okay today i learned how to spell kolache how did you how'd you spell it uh look some people are saying i put an e on the end and maybe that's not the right way yeah

well i just look at the first result dave come on we got it we got a you're right okay you got to back yourself you know what i'm gonna be jess're right. Okay. You got to back yourself. You know what? I'm going to be Jess from Love Island right now, Dave. Back yourself. He's so cute when he uses the internet, isn't he? Like old man vibes. Don't let the hunting pack do it. Don't go in there right now, dog.

I will just... I will let you take the kolache tent going forward. Thank you. Okay. Cocky sip. if anyone has any kolache recommendations we're all ears we're all ears

what what yourself dog I got some big news what is it read the room and fill the time right now while I find the button that i need to press okay okay this is about whatever he's about to drop on us is gonna be heat randy's growing a handlebar mustache right yeah what's up with that

is this for softball purposes just doing you being randy is that more fu man or is that more handlebar i don't know i don't really know what it's going for. I guess the angle is kind of what differentiates, right? Handlebar's got the twist. Talk, Randy. You can't just grow a mustache and not talk about it. Yes, you are. Oh, you're right. That's not a handlebar.

You're not twisting it up. Looks like we're not getting Randy today. I think we're having a tech issue today. What were you looking at? Don't ask him questions. He can't talk. Okay. It's time.

Will's five-star review of the week. You guys ready for this? Sure. This was left by a reviewer, a listener of our podcast, a backer, some may call them, his name or her name. Kind of a nondescript word to say. Okay.

Interesting username. This one's directed at Dylan. Ooh. TFM movie refund request. I paid like 50 bucks my freshman year in high school to end up in the TFM movie credits, but that never happened. Oh. Dylan, please refund me or at least bring back the forums hashtag team bacon sorry bitch um pretty pretty glad i am not tied to that at all because that was before my yeah this person should be very happy that their name is not i am not tied to this at all i had zero to do you

didn't do any of the marketing for that you weren't in any of the initial videos on crowdfunding the film? I honestly don't think I was. I think you were. Look, if people actually donated to that and were not given what they were promised, that's fucking sorry. And look, I'm sorry if that happened to you. Not on me, but I'm sorry that happened to you. That's a shit, shit situation. Sorry, bro.

Or gal. Are you going to get them on Team Dorn? What are you going to do to write this? I can just tell you that it's not my fault. I had nothing to do with it. I don't think they're going to like that answer. I will not respond. I don't think high school them who is probably begging their parents for 50 bucks.

Do they really accept money from people? 50 bucks is a lot for a college or high school kid. And not deliver on what they promised that's fucking sorry I don't even know who to tell you to go reach out to I heard their subscriber numbers back then in India were like totally wrong this is a tie in with the top of the show

yeah that sucks I think you need to go to the drawing board and see what you need to do to write this I don't think saying that you weren't involved is enough for this back i was zero percent dude they're a backer weren't you on the executive committee at that point i'm just trying i'm trying to see what kind of liability you might be exposed to no i literally i had no say you weren't a vp at that point you're getting lawyered right now you weren't a vp dude be careful if you don't want to talk don't talk you should you should you know i'm going to do you a solid you should talk to a

lawyer and bring them in my title was was probably VP of Media at that point. Okay. Although my responsibilities were 0% related to the really poor movie that featured a rape scene that was completely glossed over. I never saw it. Yeah. I photoshopped a receipt that I allegedly bought the movie with and i submitted it to uh hr for my refund as they said they would do that if we bought the movie and uh i pocketed that 4.99 you know i can honestly say i did not watch past the first 15 minutes

yeah by the time that i arrived and it must must have been by the time you arrived too there wasn't really anything that anyone had to do with it outside of maybe sending out some required promotional tweets that people had to do but it wasn't a good movie yeah i think tom green unfortunately dylan i think we're gonna have to have a brainstorm meeting later in the conference room to talk about how we can write write our wrongs here with this uh backer every actor in the movie was canadian which is really frat tax reasons well if you think about it like all of us that came to america like we're technically something else because like we were somewhere else i'm not xenophobic so it doesn't really bother no i'm just saying is an interesting

tidbit of the movie everyone was canadian oh yeah including tom green tom green noted canadian yeah noted humorist big Big Tom Green guy here. And that, my friends, was Will's five-star review of the week. Shall we get into today's episode? Today's episode is brought to you by our friends over at Shady Rays. Nothing worse than buying a pair of expensive glasses and losing them right after you get them. It's just terrible. You could even break them.

Put them in your back pocket. Sit on them. T's just terrible. You could even break them. Put them in your back pocket, sit on them, toss them in your car. You got your buddy just jumping in so you can go to a frat lap, windows down, blasting some DMV, and he just sits on your sunglasses. It's not an ideal situation. We don't have to worry about that ever since we got Shady Rays. Shady Rays makes high-quality

sunglasses that are just as good or, in our opinion, even better than expensive ones, and Shady Rays are a fraction of the price the price these things are durable you can tackle all of life's outdoor adventures and their styles are timeless and on point they even make me look good not i'm very nervous about how i look in sunglasses a lot of the time shady rays have polarized lenses so you can just go up to the water and you can see all the fish swimming around dope it's very dope here's why i don't worry about losing or breaking my shady race ever every pair of shady race every pair of shady race is backed by their industry-leading lost

and broken replacements program you can break or lose a pair the second you take them out of the box and they'll send you a replacement pair no questions asked that's insane pretty good it's funny man so we've been on board with this for many months now and i have the same pair that i've been wearing haven't broken them haven't had i didn't done anything with them other than wear them everywhere i go and uh but it's nice knowing that you have that replacement program in your back pocket should your son maybe uh rip them apart as he's been known to do but not yet seems like a specific situation there. Yeah he's... Yeah Fritz has really taken to putting on sunglasses

not only his own but mine as well and that has scared me more and more that I'm going to either break a pair or lose a pair and that's why Shady Rays is in the rotation right now what's better than getting one pair of Shady Rays and not worrying if you break or lose them? Getting two! Go to ShadyRays.com slash Steam and use code STEAM for a

limited time when you buy one pair of shady rays you'll get a second pair free that's s-h-a-d-y-r-a-y-s.com slash steam code steam to get a second pair of shady rays free again that's shady rays.com slash steam code steam the orcas are sinking the boats i don't like this story at all man it's a matter of time can only be provoked so much dave i know you've uh really dug into the weeds on this one you said you're over there just reading away about what happened so why don't you kind of give us the lowdown oh you want me to just go ahead and read the story or just hit the highs i mean don't don't read it word for word here i'll just i'll do the high i'll hit the highs for you killer whales learn to sink yachts will off

gibraltar is that how you say it Gibraltar Gibraltar no so you were correct the first time yeah you crushed it you're a weird emphasis guy sometimes yeah i don't care uh hell bent on revenge it says after being hit by a boat an orcaca named Gladys, White Gladys, as she's known, is now teaching others to attack researchers' beliefs. You know, these orcas are very smart. Very. Some say they can be as intelligent as a human teenager, which to us, human teenagers are very dumb. But if you put that into orca body, that's a fucking scary little fucking thing. Dolphins are crazy smart too, right? I know their brains are bigger than ours yes they're both they're both mammals

too yeah that's true too it's interesting i just gave you a factoid what are we supposed to do like i mean i i get why they're sinking the boats i would just stay out of the water are people getting got salt water specifically if if you're, I mean, it's their home. The ocean is their home. The ocean is where they live. They can't live anywhere else. Based on, you're right. You're right.

But based on what I've seen, they have not, so they're sinking boats, but they're not like attacking the people. Are they getting on the boat and just like tying the captain up? Like pirates? Yeah. Orca pirates? I am the yacht master now.

Yeah, that would be tight. That would be terrifying because that would require them to be able to talk and to live outside of water. How annoying would it be if you were just like sitting there and an orca came up and zip tied you to like a pole on the boat? You're just sitting there. The orca's just jan 6 the boat what jan 6 the boat yeah he said zip tie yeah i gotcha yeah um they just don't look they're like

hey yeah this this segment's brought to you by pxg gen 6 irons underrated underrated no one's actually um gotten like bitten correct like have they actually taking like these boats are are getting damaged are they actually getting taken down like are they sinking yeah they're sinking yacht sailboats if any orcas are listening i'm on your side orcas are kind of badass i'm not kind of they're not kind of they're totally bad i think they rock they do man dude they are straight up not having it and it's a bad time to be an orca op like they're not having a good time right now i don't know i don't even like are they as badass as other whales like you got those narwhals out there with that spear at their nose. The narwhals are tight.

Much smaller, right? How big's a narwhal compared to... Randy just had a look on his face that I have to default to. What's your problem? It's called a killer whale. I don't think there's anything better than that. Are you taking...

Okay, it's a name, though. I'm asking. Like, they're not that big compared to a sperm whale. But let's put them up against a shark. Are you taking a gang fight of five great whites or five orcas orcas are you i think they're smarter larger and um are they larger oh yeah i guess they probably i think you go size in the ocean yeah i think you go size in the ocean because like a shark can bite a whale but that

whale is going to shrug it off it's it's like it's i mean a shark biting a whale is not like biting the neck of a human or so what was that documentary was a black fish yeah i didn't watch it i'm not trying to ruin i'm not trying to ruin sea world for myself i thought i i heard in that documentary that an orca has there are like zero cases of them attacking humans in the wild not in captivity obviously we know that's happened a few times in the wild though that i think they leave humans alone so um i don't really know where i'm going with this but it's an interesting factoid keep going keep keep cooking i think they're i think they're smart they know that would bring on a little too much heat if they started just picking off humans

that that you know you don't want that kind of attention now sinking boats like for the most part it sounds like these boats are like just rich dudes like yachts and stuff so it's like people are like oh whatever now the moment they start like biting the heads off of dudes then we got a problem imagine if you're out there on a kayak. I get served a lot of videos like this, a lot of animal encounters in the wild or dudes like fishing on kayaks or just kayaking out in the ocean. You look down, there's like a great white just swimming under them. Some of them I think are fake, but I'm wondering like if these sharks were just a little smarter, they would know it doesn't take much just to nudge this kayak over and get this dude out.

And you can bite his upper torso. Okay. What'd you find, Will? Orcas are, in fact, the largest predator of dolphins and one of the world's most powerful predators. So they back it up. They back up the name. I was worried the name was all talk. Sorry, Randy.

You understand where I'm coming from like they like in terms of size it seems like other whales could be much more dangerous than these whales i mean and to be honest before blackfish i mean free willy they were always like gentle creatures right in media so i get where you come yeah i like my yeah my brain kind of went toward like free willy fucking shamu stuff like that like and i hated free willy because all these kids thought it was funny to call me Free Willy. And I was like, you're not even creative, my guy. That's a tough one. That's low-hanging fruit for sure. At least 15 interactions between orcas and boats off the Iberian coast were reported in 2020,

according to a study published last June. Interesting. It's a lot of incidents. So they're just letting you know they're there. They're striking the rudder and the side of these sailing yachts. Luckily, no one's died, like we said, but that's still scary. I don't know, man. Just an intimidating animal. They could so easily take a human out if they wanted to. I just don't think in the wild that's something that occurs. I think they're eating too good down there yeah like it's not a problem now if they we start taking away their food supply it's free game let's go survival

of the fittest dave yeah nature dog definitely damn nature over nurture you scary why did free willie have to jump over that like barrier of rocks wasn't jay bone in that scene or something no jay was in dolphin's tail dude a different movie about a mammal i can't even imagine how many times they had to reshoot the scene he was in because he tried to stand up early before everybody else did and he just like was annoying as fuck to the the director what stare up because he's the first person to stand up in the scene. And you know that that's not coincidence. He told me.

He went in knowing like, no, I'm going to stand up first so that I am the most notable person in this scene. And I think his brother was sitting next to him and was the last one to stand up. The Borislav boys don't take any days off, it seems. No. It's content factory i did read that they think this um orca gladys kind of a hilarious name for an orca i guess old lady name old lady name uh gladys they think may have been um driven to do this uh based on a negative encounter with a boat where she might have got caught up and tangled up in fishing nets and whatnot. Good for her.

And this is a cryptic quote, comes to you from NBC News. Okay. Says, we know their brains are wired to have really complex emotions. And so I think that they could be capable of something like anger or revenge, she said. But again, it's just not something that we've seen any examples of. And we've given them plenty of opportunities throughout the world to want to take revenge on us for various things, and they just choose not to. Bigger threat, orcas or artificial intelligence? Ooh.

You got to think AI, man. My guess is AI, but if the orcas get a hold of AI? It sounds like they're adapting pretty quickly to all this. Can AI zip tie you? Yeah, can AI zip tie you to something? Yes. How? You think AI is going to get on your boat and just zip tie you, dude?

AI could create some fake news and get some people riled up and just crossing people over there's zip tie in us taking our jerbs taking our jerbs if you guys were a whale what kind of whale would you be i'm going killer man i'm sold you're an orca dave's going sperm for sure oh i get it oh or maybe a humpback just stop i'm sorry i don't know what I'm doing. It'll be a blue whale. I did a book report. My first ever book report on the blue whale. Largest mammal.

Largest mammal of all time. Yeah. Including like dinos and shit, I think. You didn't have to double down on my factoid, but you did. You took it and you ran with it. My factoid ran so you could fly. How big was a megalodon? I don't know.

You know what that is? It's a big fucking water dinosaur, right? It's an ancient shark that was like... You seen Meg, that movie? It's not very good, but it's about the megalodon. I've seen that Family Guy clip you sent me with Meg in it. Why are you watching so many fucking movies about fucking whales and shit? How big is Meg?

You a whale guy? You an undersea guy? i'm i have some interest in my son's into this shit and so therefore i'm also don't show him don't show him blackfish what's his favorite whale i don't know if he has a favorite whale i think i'm fucking with belugas the megalodon grew to between 15 and 18 meters in length um i don't know how that translates because i'm american and i'm a dumbass belugas are hella tight 60 feet look how fucking sick these belugas are they're cute they're very derpy it's the cutest it's the cutest of the whales for sure it's it's the most approachable megalodon is three times just dapping up a little beluga

i'd like to hug one yeah megalodon is three times just dapping up a little beluga i'd like to hug one yeah a megalodon is three times the size of a great white shark and basically is it looks just like a great white shark but it's three times longer she's not around anymore that we know about yeah that we know about there's a lot of stuff in that ocean dylan yeah well that movie is it a whale penis or is it a megalodon that movie the meg is about like there is one now how scary would it be if the whale's penis was a megalodon? I don't know how to respond to that honestly.

It's just a question. Like they have like a marsupial pouch and there's just a fucking megalodon in there just escaping and that would be a shocker. Terrorizing shit.

That would be a badass animal. It's hard to imagine defeating that animal in hand-to-hand combat. Hand-to-fin. Why is that shark so big? We got a question the other day for exactly five minutes i was asking if you could change any like single moment in history to like flip stuff like what would it be and like i don't know why but my brain like immediately went to michael

jackson rising from his coffin and performing a song at his funeral i think it would have shifted like a lot of things in the world. You're saying it would have healed the world? That's good, Dave, what you did there. Oh, man. Okay. What are your thoughts? You're going straight to Michael Jackson?

I don't know why I went to Michael Jackson doing that. I think it would have rattled a lot of people. What if that comet missed the Earth and didn't take out the dinosaurs? We probably wouldn't be here, right?

What do you think about that? Wouldn't really matter to us because we wouldn't be here to think about it. Did you ever think about that? No. I try to think about those things

because it's a little too existential. We might still be here just living alongside dinosaurs. We might be living somewhere near the, I don't know, straight up Gib gibraltar you could convince me we're not here at all no this is all simulation yeah do you wonder do you ever wonder if your dreams are actually your life and then this is the dream part that we're actually being programmed to operate on

you know it's funny you say that i have been listening to a lot of pink floyd have you been listening to a lot of pinks just pink yeah are you gonna say you know she's a great performer she's she's a noted trapeze artist or at least she was at something i don't know yeah she flew over the crowded acl i prefer her moulin rouge work how many times you watch that video Who was your favorite part in the video? Were you a Maya guy? It was either Maya or Christina. Yeah. Yeah.

There's some sneaky good songs on that Moulin Rouge soundtrack that aren't by Maya Pink, Christina Aguilera, and Lil' Kim. Lil' Kim. Was it Lil' Kim? I think it was. Yeah, I watched TRL. Boy, that was like 2002, whatever. I think that was 01 or 02. That was, you were going to see that at about 4 o'clock every day.

I got in a girl's car one time and she had the Moulin Rouge soundtrack and I just immediately acted like I really liked the movie. I'd never seen the movie. I still haven't seen the movie. But when I saw she had the soundtrack, I was like, that yeah you just started talking put on rhythm of the night you match that sim mode button didn't work you were doing anything didn't work randy's like yeah i think the way they shot that one scene really really well done the cinematography specifically it's the juxtaposition that's how he talks i'm done i'm done stepping to randy after the killer

whale thing today. He fumbled that. I didn't fumble shit. No, he did. No, he didn't fumble shit. You fumbled the bag, the contact bag? What happened then? Neither of us fumbled.

Neither of us fumbled. I had a gut feeling, and Randy corrected me and put me in my place. And for that reason, I'm going to respect Randy for the rest of the day. I thought you meant when you threw it to him and he didn't speak. No, no. He kind of did fumble that. There were some technical difficulties happening over here. I figured it out.

I thought you were just looking at the ground to avoid. No, the audio interface over here just wasn't working, so I had to restart it. That makes more sense. Yeah, I thought you might have had some skeletons in your closet regarding orcas for a second. I was like, what's happened here? Like an orca take a family member long ago

it was a freak orca fight accident that'll be tough on one hand it's like sucks because you know this person who i cared for is not here anymore on the other hand going out via orca see that's hold on we were talking we were talking about this earlier you brought up like if you get like it's it'll be terrible to die by getting eaten by like something okay the story would be great like oh you'll hear dylan's dead like an orca god i'm like that's a cool story but that's gotta be one of the worst ways to go no i don't know i don't know if i don't know if i've completely thought about the worst ways to go but i almost feel like getting eaten by a whale would be relatively quick compared to smaller things there's i mean you got multiple ways to die, but I almost feel like getting eaten by a whale would be relatively quick compared to smaller things.

There's the... I mean, you got multiple ways to die in that scenario. You've got the drowning angle. You have getting chomped up by the orcas, you know. Just thinking about... Don't they say that

when you drown, like there's a... Like it sucks for a while and then suddenly you hit like a euphoric state? When you're dead? It's when the DMT hits. It's because you just die.

You start seeing fractals. I would rather get eaten by a whale than I would die in a desert. Like a slow, painful death. Not me. I'd rather like die of thirst than get just... Dude, that thing's going to tear you apart. Good. From limb.

If I'm going to die, do it quick. It's over very fast. Rip me to shreds, dog. I don't know if that's quick. Tear me up. They're not the chimpanzees of the sea. They're not going to like rip your penis off and hand it to you. It might just bite your leg off right below the knee.

I would 100% rather bleed out in the ocean quickly than die over the course of a week in the desert with no water. The worst way to go, well, one of the worst ways, would probably be like hyenas because they don't, and I guess lions too, pretty much anything in that part of the world, seems like they don't do like bears. They don't kill you immediately. They don't break your neck or bite you on the neck.

They'll just start eating you while you're alive. They need to start listening to more Buster Rhymes. Yeah, that's tough. We also mentioned a blue whale just swallowing you whole which would be terrible i still i don't i think i still think it's a fast death in that scenario you're just gonna suffocate i was just wondering if you would drown in there no breathing i don't know it's not like in cartoons when you're you can like talk to your friends like hey how do we get out of this thing wait till his mouth opens well you might be able to for two for a second like could you like fucking use the molar as a recliner i don't know if there's like big open areas where you can just

sit and talk to people what if you have a very gassy whale that you're inside of so yeah like what if your whale had like chipotle for lunch with like extra spicy sauce just get rocketed out of there i'm gonna like claw my way to its blowhole and try and dig out through there or something i don't think they have Chipotle under the sea. This is sounding a lot like that weekend you tell me about, like that first year out of college for you. Yeah, you said you were taking down whales. Whales! You're the Prince of Whales.

Prince of Tides? What's the difference? Why would you name a country after a fucking animal what is wales doing turkey too dumbasses can you imagine if we got over here and like we put our flag down on america and we were just like all right we're gonna call it a pheasant that's kind of sick though pheasants are cool no you know turkey was originally supposed to be the national bird. Or the national, the animal. There's a better way to refer to it.

A bald eagle swooped down and like ate one and they were like, oh, we should do that one instead. I did read that about the turkey. No, I think that's right. It's a smart bird. I think turkeys are cool. I think the layers of feathers, that thing hanging off their like chin and shit. Gobbler? Yeah, I think they're kind of dope. That's how they sound, dylan we used to do a lot more animal noises here if you're new

something we've kind of dialed back on for obvious reasons that was pretty good can you that's why you're good dude why are you so good at that i used to hunt turkey as a child you need a call you just did it all yourself i was the call yeah did he the call they would i used to put my podcast brought to you by yeti i put a little post on craigslist You didn't need a call. You just did it all yourself. I was the call. Yeah. Did he the call? I used to put my- This podcast is brought to you by Yeti. I put a little post on Craigslist. Do you need a human turkey call? I will do it for a nominal fee.

I would be about that, actually. If it meant I could go out hunting with the boys and I just had to do the turkey calls while they actually shot stuff and got blood all over their hands, that might suit me. As long as I get a little taste. I'm the wart wartime photographer let me get my beak wet just a little bit a little taste of that turkey smoke it or fry it there's many ways to cook it sure yeah didn't you throw yours in a crock pot once didn't you microwave yours and a microwave crock pot turkey would suck let's just let's just put that out there honestly it'd probably go pretty crazy if they had a pop crock pot that could actually take it it's a big bird i think crock pots are really like i think

it's a lazy way to make stuff but it also is a very tasty way to make certain things keeps all the flavors slaves all right the year was 2008 the year wasn't 2008 the year was 2008. The year wasn't 2008. The year was 2013. Okay? You're about to cook up something in the lab. And I did something. I was tweeting something, and I was like, I tweeted at somebody who, they were tweeting about their own Sunday Scaries, and I responded to them, and I said, I actually have a website

that talks about Sunday Scaries. And they said, you don't have a website. You're doing it on some bootleg blogging platform. You know what I did? I was like, I got to go find a place to make a website. I had two requirements, two requirements for myself. I wanted it to look good, and I wanted it to be easy. And that's why I went to Squarespace.

Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. You can stand out with a beautiful website, engage with your audience, sell anything, your products, the content you create, even your time. And they made it so simple for me to set up an entire website. I could blog from it. I started collecting emails so I could shoot out some messages when I did the t-shirts. I did it all.

And guess what? 10 years later, I'm still using it. It's still the platform that I use today. I'm still doing everything through it. It's still great. I absolutely love it. You need to go check out Squarespace, whether you're trying to promote a podcast, whether you're just making t-shirts and selling them online, or whether you're just trying to, you know, show your restaurant off that you just started. Go make it happen. Head

over to squarespace.com slash steam for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code steam to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain again that's offer code steam to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain man what an idiot oh you're talking about jeff what are you doing dog we're trying to spin this in the best light for jeff of course we're talking about jeff what are you doing dog we're trying to spin this in the best light for jeff of course we're talking about jeff pesos jeff bezos he got engaged that's just don't do that that's the headline here okay i hope he i hope he got engaged and i hope that he just doesn't and they never actually get married he just got out of his other marriage how airtight is that

prenup dude probably he probably has access to very, very good lawyers. When was that divorce? It was less than two years ago? Check your DMs, dog. Weren't you firing off DMs to watch your face? She's already gotten divorced again, too. Yeah, I did, too. She got married and divorced again already?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. You know what, though? For that one and a half years or whatever it was that guy lived that guy had a michael block moment then he fumbled so he got completely overrated by the media yeah he fumbled the bag does michael block make the cut this weekend at the charles schwab no i kind of hope he doesn't is that bad to say it kind of wow i just i

oversaturation. I'm just tired of his face being all over everything right now. It's not, but that's not... Okay, I completely understand, and I do somewhat agree. I can't blame him. It's not his fault. It's not his fault. Like, this is big golf media being like, oh, this is going to get clicks.

And you know what? They're right. Yeah, I blame... I blame... Who carried the tournament the other day espn whoever whoever whatever media ally is doing it like the way that they latched on cbs i'm sorry do you think that cbs would have latched on as hard if uh we didn't have a live guy that was like just looking like an absolute dog during this you know i i i like that narrative and i do think it's worth talking about i feel like they were going to lean into this no matter what the only thing that

if you maybe got rory or if for some reason the cat wasn't hurt and played in one like then you would have seen way less block but the ace the ace i mean the ace is what did it But the ace, the ace, I mean, the ace is what did it. Without the ace and the putt on 18 and the ace, those two things combined with just the overall story. Dude, they had already laid it on pretty thick by the time you hit the ace. They had, but I do respect them for setting the stage where it's like, hey, if he finishes top 15, he gets invited to Valhalla next year to play the PGA. So there is something he's playing for and that's cool because you know those last three holes those last two really with uh Hov and Brooks the tournament was over so was it an all-time up and down like Jim Nance said David you know all

time I don't know it was it was the best up and down for someone to finish 15th in a major. Is that fair? Yeah, maybe. It's up there for sure. What an all-time up and down. What an all-time derail this was after introducing the Bezos segment. Who wins in a fight? Michael Block or Jeff Bezos?

It's Block. Dude, Bezos is – Dude, Bezos has gone. He has completely biohacked himself into a robot at this point. His glow up has been phenomenal. Yeah, dude. I'm proud of him. Like he did exactly what every – he's following the billionaire plan to a T except for maybe proposing to someone this quickly. Hey, man.

Love is love. All right? Yeah, but like you're a billionaire. Just take some time to ball. So this chick, she used to be married to Tony Gonzalez? Yeah, I think from everything I've ever read about her, it sounds like she's a pretty engaging person. And I'm not doing a pun here because she just got proposed to.

It sounds like she's actually pretty cool. You think we can afford that rock that he put on her finger? I'm thinking no. Think that's a blood diamond probs no he probably created that diamond in a lab let's do blood diamond for our next uh stream room are you bringing i don't watch it are you dude it's great your ex-spouse on a vacation with your yours so it's actually i don't know the kids there it's it's like can they go can they take care of the kid while I'm like, you know, sipping champagne? I would assume they have kids together.

That would be really weird. I get the mood. I don't know. If the kids are there, I'm like, well, here's the deal. Because he obviously does not – he can't touch Tony Gonzalez in looks category. Tony Gonzalez is a very, very good-looking feller. Pretty boy tone? Pretty boy tone.

I know he's top two or three richest guys in the world. Tony Gonzalez? No, no, no. I knew he was one of the best tight ends. But having just a big hunk of a man who's, what, 6'5", 6'6", on vacation with you, shirtless, walking around, that's intimidating. I don't know if I want that.

Yeah, but here's the thing. This is why it's a good play. He's alphaing him at every stop. He's picking up the tab, going out on his yacht. They're doing everything. Tony, I got thrown the face off. It's not registering. If you're Jeff Bezos, you're not worried about Tony Gonzalez.

All right. All right. I'm just saying, man, that's a hunky man who is also married again, by the way. He has a new wife now. Who is also married again, by the way. He has a new wife now. Like, it's not like, I don't see Bezos, like, sitting on a couch on NFL Sundays watching Tony Gonzalez just, like, you know, get tutties left and right.

His wife is bad, by the way. Tony Gonzalez, does his game stack up in the modern era? Yeah. Okay. He might be tight end go might be uh his wife's name is october tim riggins on my team october gonzalez tim riggins was more clutch than tony gonzalez he was just a fullback his wife is mega attractive i'm just saying dude what's your name dog let's put her up on the screen. October Gonzales is her name.

Shasso October, best mom. The original Octo mom. Okay. Sure. Should we do a draft where we do months? Let's do a month draft. Randy can join and we each get three. We once ranked Milk on PGP. I don't know if i agreed at those rankings by the way the milk rankings yeah but i've got some i've

got some very uh i've got some very out there feelings on milk so you know not everyone's ready for my rankings all the time i've found that this is um we're really getting derailed here, but I found that while I do feel better eating less dairy, excuse me, I just, I'm so fucking over oat milk and almond milk. It's just, it's just not, it's not good. I gave you the gift of black nitro cold brew this morning, David. Oh yeah. Yeah. I meant to thank you for that publicly. Is mine in the fridge that I haven't seen yet? No yet no i drank yours too i've got 400 milligrams just coursing through my vein that's why i'm operating at a high level oh what's up what happened there i didn't buy it for you well that seems clear at this point but to be honest i didn't even buy it for dave yeah why did you give me that because you know that i can't handle 400 milligrams of caffeine in the morning. Were you planning on drinking two until you looked at the contract?

I bought two just in case. And then once I got – so here's what happened. Here's what happened. You guys remember. I was at Reggaeton 7-Eleven this morning and just living my life. Dude, I might start going there. I love that vibe. And so when I was in there, I was pumping gas.

And like there's been a siphon character running around our neighborhood lately. And so I knew I couldn't spend too much time inside the 7-Eleven getting coffees. I didn't have time to look at the milligrams of caffeine on there. You were about to get siphoned? Yeah. Yeah. There's apparently been a lot of gas flying out of people's cars lately in the neighborhood. You're lying.

I can't tell if you're being serious. I don't know. Dylan, I'm going to steal your catalytic converter one day. Please don't do that, David. I'm going to take your shit. Dude, it converts catalysts. I'm going to steal all the copper wiring out of your fucking crib. No, you won't.

All right. You'll see. I don't know how to do it, but I'll figure it out. Truly, I do. Well, you know what? You know that F-350 dually you got out there in your driveway i'm gonna steal the uh tailgate thing i'm gonna remove it completely from the truck yeah yeah the hitch wait from the what are you gonna i don't know i'm gonna move on i've already

already sound like a so yeah you do yeah sound like a city boy something i really think is sick and city boys hate this uh is whenever dudes have like the snorkel on their like jeep it's like dude i get it man i hate when i find myself underwater and my car can't breathe city city boys hate this one simple trick it's the worst dude city boys hate this god so often i find myself driving and suddenly i'm just underwater if only my oh you think flash floods are a joke if only my air intake was above eye level it's cool what scenario what scenario does any guy need a like extended cab truck that has like the the double tires on it i was driving behind one the other day and I couldn't get around it because he was blocking every part of both lanes. A dually?

Yeah. It serves a very useful purpose. Okay, what guy needs it? What guy needs it within Austin right now? It's for hauling. Okay. Because the weight, what do you call it?

You space out the weight. Distribution. Weight distribution. Thank you. I'm back. No longer a cuck. It allows you to tow much more weight behind you. What percent of guys that have duallys need duallys?

12% probably. I think it's less than that. You can pull a boat just fine with a regular truck. Yes, you can. Many trailers. But sometimes if you're pulling equipment, you're going to need a dually if you're at texas tech you can probably do some pulling too if you got a dually oh chicks in lubbock dig the dually they probably do yeah i i hear you will i do hear you i also think most people don't i also think that less than 12 of people that own trucks actually need the truck in the first place. So I think that –

Trucks are useful like twice a year when you got to just move shit. Yeah, like shout out to the – whatever friend is out there who gets hit up about needing their truck all the time. Like you are a hero in your own way. But to everyone out there who doesn't need a truck that's just driving like an asshole, you're kind of annoying everybody. Dylan, you had a truck here Monday. I had to borrow my dad's truck yeah because i needed to to use his lawnmower so that that was the one time oh wow dylan doesn't own a lawnmower we've been over whoa dude hold on hold on dude you don't own a lawnmower

oh god dude oh my god wait why didn't we have you start it while it was here it wasn't here oh like in the in the back of the truck because, everyone knows I'd be able to do it immediately. That would have been good content. It's not like I don't know how to do anything. I know, but you... There's some things you know how to do. Yeah. I can work.

I can get my way around a toolbox. No questions asked. I bet if Will wanted to put his mind to it, he could be an expert level gardener. Probably could. I have one of the best resources that I could possibly have, my father. Dude's got the greenest of thumbs. Shout out.

Major shout. Shout out, Ross. Dave, do you have some personal news for us? Yeah. Yeah, I do. This kind of ties into really nothing we've done today.

I don't think the things that we've done today have tied into the things that we've done today all right all right um thinking about making an addition to my household specifically to my backyard it's something i've never done. It's something that many people do. And that thing is adding a bird feeder. I think I want to be a bird feeder guy. Why don't you do the outbox? Because I don't have the right tree to affix it. You don't want the dopest bird out there in your backyard?

No, that actually does sound very tight. What, turkey? Yeah, I want... dopest bird out there in your backyard no i that actually does sound very tight turkey very yeah i want just in the middle of the night just hear like a don't clip that um no i i've so i've noticed as a as a child i i we our our backyard, we'd have cardinals, we'd have blue jays, all kinds of birds. We've got hummingbirds now. I've seen there's some cardinals that are hanging out on our fence often. It's mega cute because Randy will go sit outside and he just kind of sits down and watches them. I'm like, oh, that's cute as hell.

He's watching the birds. Cool. I'm doing the same thing. So I'm wondering, I kind of want to get one of those pole mounted bird feeders um and i want to hear from bird feed nation i know y'all are out there what kind of what am i worrying bfn is it what are the unintended consequences because i know we also have a lot of squirrels and squirrels are just notoriously assholes and i know my neighbor she does like the big sunflowers like grows them the

real tall ones i'll watch the squirrels just go over there and just rip rip them to shreds they're assholes man yeah squirrels stink baby not a big squirrel guy over here so i'm just i'm wondering what this does i don't want to upset the ecosystem but i would also like to just hang out on my back patio and peep the birds. If you want to feed some birds, why don't you just go to your local park with some cans of creamed corn and just dump those out for the birds? It sounds like a specific instance. I don't think your little backyard bird feeder is going to upset the ecosystem.

No, the ripple effects of Dave's bird feeder could fuck up the entire ecosystem of Texas. I think you're going to be fine. The golden cheek warbler just disappears in five years and Dave's to blame for it. But let's say, I mean, look, that's why I'm asking the question. You're replacing it with the clapping cheek warbler. Look, pardon me for being vulnerable here. I'm asking for the listener's help because I don't know.

I don't know if this, like, hey, one thing with the birds you got to worry about, that'll be, it means more XYZ will come into your backyard. Well, weren't you having an issue with some birds flying into the window in the back no oh okay in case y'all missed it did that happen i thought you did backing up about one minute will just said clap and cheek warbler yeah replace the golden cheek oh i missed that yeah yeah yeah i don't think that's gonna happen but people have already what do i know what's up with bird watchers i get it how is that a hobby i get it here go to go to go to twitter.com slash hello willmons isn't it crazy

how gravity doesn't affect birds go to twitter.com slash hello willmons what hunt and peck it don't worry you're not on the clock and go to go to the likes from the willmont's account and just do some scrolling okay i think the willmont's admin is a big avid bird watcher okay yeah it would it appears what's going on here what uh that's a weird looking pigeon see dude now you're you're understanding why people are intrigued by bird watching. Look at that. Wilmot's opening doors to people's lives day after day after day after day. So they just watch them? Dude, they just like kind of chill and watch them.

It's not like a fetish thing, right? It's just there's... A fetish thing? People can't just enjoy the ecos of the nature? It's just weird. Can we just do a bird segment without you getting horned up i'm wondering if other people are getting horned up i'm not the horny you're trying to vicariously get horny i mean the only reason you think that people get

horny from birds is because of duda because duda talked about the most fuckable birds people get horny over the weirdest shit man happy birthday belated there's some wild ass fetishes out there wouldn't surprise me if there's a bird one too yeah i'm really glad i don't have any i mean i might have one but it's like it might be like it's probably so vanilla that i don't even realize i got a dm two days ago from another foot guy i'm literally putting my feet on the tl for free and no one cares he wants me to uh he wants me to start featuring my feet again in the videos like we used to do at grand x i didn't respond to him why don't you just do a foot cam we can put a camera underneath the thing that's always on your feet

and you can record barefoot and the dude can look at it and suddenly we're profiting. Yeah. These guys are pretty self-aware usually when they reach out to me. They always start with like, hey, this is going to be a weird message.

And then they like- They're a respectful community. The foot thing. Do they have bird feeders that would just work for just turkeys i don't know it's a it's a grounded bird typically do you think you could take any of these birds and smoke them later they can float i don't really want to i don't really want to cook the birds they're not really looking okay okay just say i'm just spitballing. No, no. Ask the questions. This is an open forum. Do you have any birds

that you're most wanting to pop over to D-Man's Birdhouse? I just... Yeah, the Clap and Cheek Warbler. I love Blue Jays and I love Cardinals, but the Hummingbirds

fascinates me because of how quickly they flap their wings. Why don't... There's no baseball teams named the Hummingbirds. Because it's not a very... The Houston Hum Houston hummingbirds it's better than the Astros a different kind of feeder for a hummingbird you know what kind of feet feeder oh it's it's not

it's not your typical bird see they do like your grandma's birds they hover next to these like posts and they did get like little like sugar water out or something. You need to get nectar. You need to get that. Yeah, I got one. Dude, that's fucking nectar, bro. I got one on my balcony. Yeah, I can get some fucking nectar.

Bird guy. Sick, bro. Bird guy over here. Yeah, man. Yeah, you'll be fine. Just put the bird feeder over there. There you go. You got your answer.

Oh, wow. Cool. I guess we won't do the segment anymore. Randy just fucking ended it. Yeah. Hey, Dave, take your bird feeder and get the fuck out of here dog hey man how about i just uh shrink myself down and go live in it yeah maybe a bird will just eat me randy that make you happy yeah hey why don't you go tune yourself into bird feed and just get slowly cremated into nature you should

get a bat box a what a bat box is this want to read bat in their backyard. People in Austin. What are you talking about, dude? People are obsessed with bats in Austin. Control the bugs. People love them here. We like to watch them from afar. Dude, I've been watching you from afar. That's how bats talk, famously.

That's how Dracula talks. Bats don't talk like that. But he turns into a bat. Right? I don't know. Or that was, I don't know. Yes, yes, yes. Bram Stoker. Bram stoker bram stoker

i'm not done here this fucking bird thing or was he who was frankenstein who wrote frankenstein uh mary shelley okay okay mr game show host yeah it was literally a question it was it absolutely was i think i put Bram Stoker because it was the only name I could think of. Got it wrong. Dude. Dude, Bram Stoker.

Dude, they've been calling me fucking Bram Stoker. That's a sick name. Bram's a good name. Bram is going to be on the lacrosse team at some point. We're having a dude named Bram

on retail therapy soon. You got Bram? Bram Stoker. Not him. Oh, dude. Different one. Is he that dude from Gibraltar? Yeah, he really is.

It's a callback. All right, that's really all I got on the birds. I would love to hear from you. I really would. Bird Feeder Nation. Feed Dave that info, dog. Hey, for getting in the zone or just out for the day, Rowe is a collection of on-trend closet staples

made for whatever you're up for. It won't weigh you down with loud neons, oversized logos, impractical fabrics. Ro includes classic color palettes, inclusive tailored fits that'll always be on trend and versatile enough for errands, dinners, or low-key evenings alike. We've all been wearing this stuff.

The other day, we wore it during the live stream. Got a lot of compliments on the color palette there. Very tasteful colors, very wearable. Very nonchalant, chill outfit and uh i was doing laundry the other day and i was like reaching in grabbing all my clothes and i was like oh what's that it's like oh man that's my moisture waking shirt it's got the sweat waking fabric hidden pockets on the shorts they even have the tailored fit it's just the best but honestly my favorite part of this entire thing is the color palette i think they crushed it i love the color fit. It's just the best. But honestly, my favorite part of this entire thing is the color palette.

I think they crushed it. I love the colorways. They live in the neutrals, man. The neutrals are just on point. So comfortable. Fits so well. Looks so good. There's a million reasons to go make this happen.

I mean, Father's Day is creeping up. It might be barbecue season. I might be back in my backyard with my bird feeder just vibing out in my row gear. Oh, my God. Just peeping them Cardinals. Yeah. Yeah. Go get your new uniform, dog.

If you're looking for reliable staples at an accessible price point, then go shop Row sold exclusively at Academy Sports and Outdoors, or you can visit academy.com slash row or a location near you to shop today. Dave. What? I see something here about our asses don't want you go and read this one read the title on the as it's placed on the rundown okay excuse me they're coming for our tight little asses is what it says don't know what this one's about yet a little editorial discretion instructed not to click on it

so i didn't no this is the one i you could have clicked okay um bill simmons will yeah you guys are familiar he's actually in the studio right now okay i'm glad he's here i'm him he kind of um he kind of let the world know what's happening and we we've been on this we knew this is a possibility but now people are saying it out loud they're saying the quiet part out loud um bill simmons founder of the ringer hinted at spotify's future ai plans what he said that the streaming service is working on technology for ai generated ads are you fucking kidding me are you kidding me you call yourself a podcaster and you're going to let AI do your ad reads? You trying to tell me AI can do a better job than our man right here?

He just lives for ads? I don't fucking think so. Not on this podcaster's watch. Can you read that paragraph in his quote? I don't think Spotify is going to get mad at me for this, but we're developing that stuff. There's going to be a way to use my voice for ads. You have to obviously give the approval for the voice,

but it opens up from an advertising standpoint all these different great possibilities. This guy just doesn't care about labor. Yeah, I was with my buddy Grinchy the other day in Vegas. We were drinking Patron and playing blackjack, and we were talking about this and how we could make a bunch of money. Is that one of his guys? Yeah, I don't know.

Grinchy? Yeah, Grinchy. Oh, I thought it was Braum. Yeah, Braum and Grinchy. Yeah, me and Braum. Yeah. Actually, let's call his office right now and talk to him for a little bit. Yeah, Braum.

That's annoying when he's on the clock. Braum was hitting on 16. He's such a squid, isn't he? Every time at the table. Bill? So not the bar? Yeah, I had to clarify. Yeah, thank you.

He's a squid who bill yeah damn he's not him he's bill simmons is my not him of the week we knew this was coming though didn't we i mean i i i don't i don't like it when creative people are like getting excited about using ai to eventually replace themselves just makes me sad makes me really really sad i mean the conversation we've had is that ai replacing like our entire podcast just an ad read seems like a pretty like low level insignificant thing compared to like what it could be doing at some point down the line i don't know you know yeah i think you give you give ai an inch it takes

a mile yeah not to not to this is step one i don't want to step in a slip you're normalizing but gotta draw a line somewhere and i'm taking that line and i'm drawing it here don't you fucking snort it you sicko is it gonna crush a segue the way will does though problems i've never even written a segue dude i don't know what you're fucking talking about. Remember when that was going to change the world? A Segway? Yeah. That's a small place.

The Today Show, they had Matt Lauer and Katie Couric being like, today we have a huge announcement, an invention that we're going to be seeing everywhere. They hyped it up for days on end, and then they just had someone on a fucking Segway driving around Rockefeller Center. Those downtown city tours. they're just lame the only time i would i would actually do one of the ones that they have at golf courses i actually think that'd be a great way to go out on a course and play

ladies and gentlemen the segway uh-huh i try to write a uh one wheel the other day you know what those are i see people way too cocky on them on Lamar. Those things. I don't like them. I mean, I only tried for a few minutes. Very difficult to learn. Forward facing or? It's like a skateboard with one big tire wheel in the middle.

So there's a different one, I assume, that you can face forward on. Yeah, that's not the one. I mean, they both make me nervous. I don't like seeing them. You ride like a skateboard. I feel like I'd be good at that. Yeah, probably better than me because I'm not a skateboard guy.

But it was difficult. And the way you get off is like, it's dangerous. I don't know. That's how it be sometimes. Right. We both. And then grab a towel.

Yeah, the whole thing. Jesus. What? What? Huh? That's what y'all were talking about right this is a segment about ai and i'm i'm ready i'm ready to move on you had to make it horny it's been a minute it's been a minute oh hell yeah since we did a worst weekend story

yes familiar with worst weekends we used to do them on patreon all the time patreon.com slash struggling back podcast five tuesdays this month so if you're a patron you know you've eaten good all month baby i think you should know what a game show podcast out next week but today we gotta talk worst weekends i've got two stories here do you guys want to start with story one or story two these news stories two okay okay Duluth Minnesota yes millionth Minnesota yeah it's a state yeah a landlord uh started an apartment fire while blaring uh Billy Joel's song do you guys want to guess what song uh they might have been blasting while they started the fire piano man not piano man there you go there you go. There you go. That's it. How did you guess that one?

It was a guess, man. Yeah. Can you imagine if you had Travis Carlson? I don't know if they're related to Tucker or not, but it's possible. The landlord in Duluth who deliberately set his apartment on fire while blasting Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire. What are you doing, dog? Is he going full Nero? Has he watched Rome burn? Is that right, Randy?

He's ruining his defense for arson here because it's very incriminating, I would say. The downstairs tenant says they woke up to their landlord identified as Carlson, quote, smashing glass, smashing glass, baby, and breaking things for about 20 minutes. Carlson then knocked on the downstairs tenant's door, telling the tenant the house is on fire.

This guy sounds like a really shitty neighbor. But at least he woke up the downstairs tenant. It's true. An investigation revealed a drilled hole in his truck's gas tank with lids to gas cans laying around the truck. Is this giving siphon please don't say giving blank like that kind of is i'm just asking questions what's the motive what's this fucker up to i don't know sounds like he's a real sick individual he's just like burning it

literally burning his life down but like you have to think he wasn't thinking of the consequences while listening to the song because billy's telling him like we didn't start the fire it's always burning since the world's been turning and if you know that it's been burning since the world's been turning you know that it's probably not on you at that point probably on the collective good i've been burning on something else he probably had that talking heads queued up ready to go right after it. I always say burning, not concerning. He did that swipe over on the Spotify to put it in the queue. Yeah, I was sitting there ready. Real veterans, though.

And it melted. That's a thing? Wow. That's a feature? Wow. You can tell that you're new to the Spotify game, but you were an Apple guy for a long time. You swipe over, it goes auto to the queue? You can toss it in the queue.

You probably can't do that on your iPod Nano or whatever an iphone dave i think you know that about you don't have a nano no had nano technology have you guys ever had a roommate that's just like a little shitty oh yeah like what's what's an example of something a roommate could do where you're just like what the fuck man like what are you doing i love doing this game just maybe make ribs uh one saturday then leave your plate full of the rib bones sitting out and as out of out of like principle no one else cleaned it up because like we're gonna see how long he'll leave it and he left it there for like six days until like the flies came and we had to like throw it out anyway that's very specific i was gonna say like not doing dishes just piled up dave's was better sorry sorry you can tell i've been thinking about this

well i actually love the guy same guy who eats ramen noodles but doesn't actually boil them it's good just puts the seasoning on top it eats like a fucking that's insane bizarre that people don't believe that but it's happened i've seen it, like it's one of the examples that I could give. It's like if you have like a leftovers or something and like your roommate eats it and they don't replace it. And you're like, dude, come on. What are you doing? And like obviously when that happens, you shoot your roommate, right? Oh, that's one way to handle the situation.

I shoot him a nasty look. There you go, Dave. There you go. Well, there was a man in Louisville, Kentucky. You guys familiar with Louisville, Kentucky? They arrested Clifton Williams on Sunday after he shot his roommate following an argument where his roommate had eaten the last Hot Pocket.

Hello. And so this brings up the question, was his roommate just mad that it was a pizza Hot Pocket and he was playing a Zocard twice in a row? You got to think there's some implications here on the Zocard. Dude, I bet you he put it in the microwave for the specified amount of time and it was a little bit cold on the outside and just scorching on the inside, and that really set him off.

Well, he shot him in the buttocks. See, that's like I don't want to kill you, but I got to get your attention. It's just a warning shot. Yeah, it's a warning shot. That's fine. Whenever I shoot someone in an argument like this, I do it below the knee. Yeah, that's like, I don't want to kill you, but I got to get your attention. It's just a warning shot. Yeah, it's a warning shot. It's fine. Whenever I shoot someone in an argument like this, I do it below the knee. Yeah, that's not shoot to kill. What was the weapon?

A gun. You know what kind? I don't know. Was it a Tommy gun? I don't think it was a Tommy gun because it said they were non-life-threatening injuries. Can you be sure? I think if you get shot with a Tommy gun, you kind of get blown up a not blown up a little bit not if you only shoot the booty meat yeah yeah hard to say it's really hard to say would you rather be shot in the ass for stealing the hot pocket or would

you rather be um living in a duplex where your your landlord burns it down listening to billy joel um you gotta think that insurance check's gonna come through yeah i'd rather my place might be kind of nice do if your place is like burning down in a controlled way and you have a really easy direct way out is there any part of you that's like thinking that like hey maybe i should throw some of this shit over toward the fire so i can get this shit replaced yeah or you just commit straight out fraud and you're like yeah my uh 80 inch samsung my ps8 yeah my rolex my secret wu-tang album yeah it's not digital oh shit should i get that now should i buy that now that i have a turntable you should try yeah you could probably get it for i'm thinking about getting two

turntables and a microphone back back yeah i even knew that one which is big for me it is big for him don't shoot your roommates but if you do just do it in the butt yeah do like at an angle so it doesn't go like doing the ass other organs be careful because like the like done like a 22 caliber didn't that bounce around a lot could like bounce all the way up to your fucking head if you're not careful i don't know if it's bouncy or bendy the bullet is probably not bendy okay i don't know have you seen that movie what's that movie randy where they bend the bullets wanted wanted there we go shout out angelina jolie you can't bend a bullet day you don't know shit about that i'll bend you i just don't think that a human can bend a bullet in that way no i think the physics aren't there yeah they hit they were going straight up roberto carlos on them

that's a throwback to yesterday's episode i'm a matrix guy definitely know what you're talking about that really you're big sean marion guy i saw him at uh tricks la piscina recently did you really yeah i texted you dude oh yeah it was yeah. It was fucking sick. He was eating alone, just absolutely loving life. I love that my basketball heroes are just eating Mexican food alone. And he wasn't even on his phone the entire time. He was just kind of just vibing out. He seems like a vibey guy. Yeah, he was vibing, dude.

You know what else is vibey? This Weekend in Fun. Presented. By. Mugsy. Hello, Mugsy. Our good friends at Mugsy. Big fan of Mugsy. Love my Mugsy so much. Gotta think there's gonna be some Mugsy worn out this weekend.

It's a long weekend, baby. You know what it is. Mugsy makes the most comfortable jeans, chinos, and joggers ever. These things are made from buttery soft, patented stretch materials that look stylish but are insanely comfortable, never too baggy, never too tight. Frankly, they're the best thing to happen to legs since chairs. Big chair guy over here, too.

So you can't... You do like to sit. I'm a big fan of chairs. Yeah. They're comfortable, and they make you look so damn good. The guys over at Muggsy had one mission in life. It's to give every man the confidence to walk blindly into their closet, reach out, and know whatever they pick will have them looking good

and feeling even better, baby. I love putting their jeans on. Jeans historically have not been very comfortable. Muggsy has fixed that for us, thankfully. They are so comfortable, and they also just fit really well. Have you heard about their Coolmax? I have, and I have not. It's denim that are like air conditioners for your legs.

They spent years in the lab developing the most breathable jeans ever, designed with lightweight fibers to ensure a cool breeze with every single step. These jeans come in enough colors to make a pack of crayons jealous. Or crayons, as you dumbass Texans call them. I say crayon. I say crayon. Because I can read. Gibraltar.

These are the only jeans you'll wear this summer. Go to the backyard barbecue to the bar in one swift motion all summer long. Some people are even pivoting from the boardroom to the discotheca in these things. I will. I don't mean to steal the spotlight, but it's pocket tea.

Mugsy? It's Mugsy. Damn. Call your bogues over here, dog. Not only is it comfy, but my wife likes to sleep in this shirt, and I have to immediately get it from the dryer. Otherwise, she will steal it. It is a great pocket tea. That's weird.

You have to go fold the laundry. You put it at the bottom of the pile. Yep. It's the first thing you fold. Head over to Mugsy.com and get 10% off now using code STEAM. That's 10% off using some of the most premium jeans, chinos, swimwear, shorts, everything on the planet. Mugsy also has free shipping and free returns, so there's absolutely no risk in giving them a spin. If you're in Chicago or Austin, Texas, welcome.

But also make sure to head downtown and check out their storefront as well. Easy vibes every time. Enjoy beers you shop. I've had several beers in that store. If you're in Boston or D.C., just keep an eye out for a Mungsy store coming in June 2023. That's very soon. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Thanks for asking, Will.

I unfortunately don't have much going on at all. I got parks on Friday. I don't have them the rest of the long holiday weekend. So I'll be looking for something to do. I might holler at the high school buddies, see if they want to step out. I'm glad you said buddies after high school. High school buddies, see if they want to. They're not currently in high school. I just went to high school with them back

in the day. That's why I call them that. That'd be weird if I was hanging out with high school kids. I don't know, man. I don't have a lot going on. I think you guys won't be here, which I'm going to be looking for something to do. So holler at your boy if you see him in the streets. David? We're packing up and headed to Duncanville, Texas,

home of the 6A state champion Panthers. We will be there. Going to do some pool days, hang out with the parents, let the roads man hang out with both sets of grandparents as they live about five minutes away from each other. And yeah, it's going to be somewhat low key. We've got maybe we'll,

I don't know, well, there's, there's rumors of a possible dinner link Friday. I just don't see that happening. We, we do have a res that she made a while back. We'll see if we use it. If it doesn't happen, that's fine.

We may just go. Our time is getting more and more. Yeah, you don't want to be rushed. Taken up by the minute. You don't want to be rushed. But yeah, we'll be up there. Man, I really want to hit the dallas zoo or the fort worth zoo both good zoos for zoos like people people love the fort worth zoo i do too but don't sleep on

the dallas zoo made a lot of improvements um but yeah it's gonna be low-key so i will yield my time to you i'm also heading to dallas this weekend just for Friday night. Going to the Dead & Company concert at Dos Equis Arena. I might have a couple Dos Equis. I might have Dos Dos Equis. I bet you'll have more than that. I won't have more than Trace. I'll tell you that right now. I'm not trying to pee on this.

No, you don't want to pee pee. No, no, no. So, yeah, it's just going to be a chill sitch out there. I got word yesterday that there's some backers that are going to be very close to me in our section. It's just going to a chill sitch out there uh i got word yesterday that there's some backers that are gonna be very close to me in our section just gonna be absolutely vibing out there's a certain seven foot backer who's gonna be there and i can happily report to everybody that i'm uh seated in front of the seven footer so i don't have to worry about the seven foot backer blocking my view of uh john mayer um should be a good time. I'm going to obviously go to Check Stop and get some kolaches on the way there

and on the way home. I'm freeing myself up to eat meat this weekend. Very excited about that. And then we'll see. We'll see. Saturday, probably just going to vibe out with the little man. I can see some Tex-Mex in my future

the second we get home. That's what I do. And then Saturday, I'm going out for dinner with, I don't know if you guys have heard of this guy he's on a really popular podcast called retail therapy barrett dudley so i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna go have a little bite of food with my man barrett and uh his fiance laura and uh that's all i have going on everything else this weekend wide open wide open if you're looking for more friendship um i just explained that I'm wide open as well.

So I'll have my phone charged up. Call us Creed. I'll be charged up. I'll be in a good service area. So just, you know. My plan is wide open. Make sure you're connected to Wi-Fi. Okay.

Yeah. Make sure you're connected to Wi-Fi. I also have regular cell service, so I can take it around the city and still use it, believe it or not. I don't know. It's been a little wonky lately. I saw Delph complaining about it on Twitter. Been having trouble getting service at the races lately. Been there.

Randy, what are you doing this weekend? Oh, long weekend. So, you know, got so much planned. Now I got nothing planned. But probably be around. Weather looks great. Probably go paddle boarding. Going golfing with Dan.

Just going to be hanging out with Dan, Gordo, James, and Brad all weekend. Watch out for the orcas. That's all I'm saying. It's going to be a fun, fun weekend of doing nothing right now. The forecast has changed. It's looking better than it was a couple days ago. Yeah, if you want to take the kayak, maybe Sunday we might go out and paddle boarding and stuff. Maybe you go to the cages, take some rips.

I'll be taking rips this weekend. I don't know where the closest batting cages are. I was looking that up. Dylan knows. Dylan has a natural thing where you can put him pretty much anywhere, and he knows the fastest route to the nearest batting cage. There's a gym on Burnett Road. Brittany actually goes there.

I forgot what it's called, but they have batting cages inside there. Rainbow Trout, undefeated so far. His softball team. But you also haven't defeated anybody. Also haven't won a game yet. You're 0-0-1. That's weak.

No, I'm not going to do parks like that. Oh, man. Come on. Dude, I want parks to win a game more than anybody. The season is ending. No, he really does.

Do I need to go and maybe do some hovering on the sidelines to make sure that they're getting the right coaching? Wouldn't hurt. Ted Lasso vibes. Uh-huh. Shave the beard. What position are they putting Parks in? I'm worried about this stuff.

They put him all over the place, man. He's a scraper. Sweeping. Should we get scraper. Schweeping. Should we get out of here? Yep. Bye. Bye. Outro Music