Circling Back - Knuckleballs, Orcas, And Acceptable Thirst Traps

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Dan Regester joins Dave and Dillon as the guys discuss their Weekends in Fun, their adult league softball team, Meghan Markle podcast-grifting, animals of the sea, and Ben Affleck showing us a new way to thirst trap.Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CirclingBack (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter        (9:10) Recapping This Weekend in Fun        (25:40) Their Adult League Softball Team        (38:50) Meghan Markle, the grifter        (51:25) Checking in with animals of the sea        (1:06:25) Ben Affleck thirst-trapping Support This Episode’s Sponsors Athletic Greens: Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at ⁠athleticgreens.com/CIRCLING⁠ Stamps.com: Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at ⁠https://www.stamps.com/⁠circlingback. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show! Academy - R.O.W.: Visit ⁠academy.com/ROW⁠ or a location near you to shop today. Birddogs: Go to ⁠birddogs.com/CIRCLING⁠ for a free Yeti style tumbler with your order. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we are back. It's a circling back podcast. I'm Dave. I'm going to host today. Will's in Napa, pushing around a little convertible striving around like the little frat star that he is just drinking heavy reds and pushing hopefully not at the same time or no hopefully those are different different days yeah hopefully he's not out there going bob huggins it's a topical sports reference hey joining us speaking of sports.

Skip right over me. Just do this guy. Well, you're always last. You're a man who needs no introduction. But here's a guy who definitely needs one. No, I'm kidding. Softcore history's on. Drinking bro's sports on.

Our former coworker, our good friend, noted softballer, Dan Register. Gentlemen, thank you for having me today to debate rfk junior man i thought you'd never bring him up and i was i was pretty good with not talking rfk today well i was expecting a hundred thousand dollars for this well i was just look it's in the mail if you're if you're saying i might have the option to vote for the guy who had not only a father, but an uncle assassinated by the intelligence agencies, I'd be like, what? You expect me to just not vote for that guy? If he's still alive? Makes me question.

That's a great point. We can get to that in a bit. I've got it on the rundown. I actually don't. It took less than two minutes for us to get into RFK with Dan, but that's what Dan does. Dan, thanks for coming onto the show. Always a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

The good thing about me hosting is, um, look, I'm going to volume shoot jokes. That's the biggest criticism I get when I host. I do Dave, you just fucking calm down. Let the game come to you. I just like to do it. He gets really excited when he has the rock. Yeah. I'm one of those guys.

Like if I get hot, I get hot. He'll shoot up from anywhere. You got to shoot yourself out of a slump is how I look at it. Yeah. And even if you are hitting, you just keep shooting, right? Yeah. If you're shooting 50% from three the entire season, it's kind of on you for not taking enough shots.

That makes a lot of sense. Here's a guy who never misses. It's our old pal Dylan Chivaryivery looking nice and tan am i i didn't get any sun over the week the way you just popped your try at me it did look it looked tan well i am i'm just really cut right now maybe that's what you notice instead of the tan skin interesting hey a fun one for all you old Grand X heads out there. Actually, Dan, the other day I stumbled upon, it's actually still up on my Instagram, at dshivery. One of my favorite moments in Dan slash Grand X history is when we had you on Touching Base and talked wedding stuff.

We got a sound clip you want to play? No, no, no. No, just go ahead, buddy. Okay. I don't know if you remember the discussion about you bringing your ex-girlfriend uninvited to a wedding in florida but it was she gotta play it one of my one of my favorite moments in grand x history and it's worth it's worth a look or listen if you guys want to check that out dave i think dave's got something for us that's true that is life yeah i'm a noted liability at weddings that that was

a fun moment pre-show like i'm a great time at the wedding but it takes a lot when i get there in retrospect like i said i'd only known you for about like a month and a half so you didn't get invited to my wedding well i'd like to have i'd like to have extended that like i'd like to you know kind of right my wrong there and say, you should have been invited just because I wanted to see what that version of Dan, that was bulk Dan. You guys ever renew your vows, you'd have Dan there. I'll make it a whole ordeal about myself. Maybe Randy too.

That'd be great. And maybe I can actually attend this time, even though I was invited the first time I did not show up. I wasn't going to bring that part up. That's fine. Who would you uninvite? A lot of people. There's some people.

There's some people. Name names. Weddings are expensive. Put it behind the paywall. Yeah, we're not behind the paywall, so you'll never know. This is free. You'll have to join us next time. I appreciate that about you guys.

What? When I go on Ross's podcast, he puts me behind a paywall. It's fucked up. Because people will pay for Danny Riggs. I don't think they will. I think he lost subscribers. You're too woke. You're not 100% woke free. That's fucked up. Because people will pay for Danny Riggs. I don't think they will. I think he lost subscribers. You're too woke. You're not 100% woke free.

That's your problem. Well, if you go woke, you go broke, Dave. That's true. Famously. We got a big show today. We got a big show. It's going to be fun. We're going to have another guest added on.

We're going to have a foursome with the boys. Fivesome if you include Randy. Surprise guest. It's your ex-girlfriend. It's Brett. It's just Brett Merriman. Before we get into it, first of all, happy belated Father's Day. Thank you.

Happy Juneteenth. And Patreon schedule tomorrow. I believe we're doing exactly five minutes. We are. I saw somebody threw the prompt up. I believe that was Will from Vacation. So go to circling back on Instagram. If you got some exactly five minutes

content you want us to hit on throw it in there on the prompt topics questions anything you want us to talk about it's a fun one it's a fun one uh dylan's looking to rebound from one of the worst uh ball spinning bingo games i've ever seen what happened the the little trap door was not latched shut. So as I spun the ball, about 25 of them spilled out. And thus were not... Blaming your tools. Thus were not available for my choosing. Also, 14-day free trial on Patreon. If you haven't yet taken advantage of that, it don't cost you anything.

Just get in there, check us out for 14 days for free. Binge. And then you decide if you want to keep paying or not. You can binge. You can hear it. Dan, check this out. Tell me if any of this tickles your fancy. We've got Touching Based.

It's a conspiracy podcast. We'll do anything. We'll do something about the Royals. Dylan did not the Kansas City Royals, historically bad baseball team, but like the Royal family, more on them later. Dylan did Area 51. I think he got to the bottom of it last week. I don't even remember what I did.

Project Bluebeam? Oh, I think I did MKUltra-ish. No, you did – Ted Kaczynski. You did Ultra right. Oh, RIP to a real one. Our real father, Teddy K. Teddy K?

You're just really bad at sending mail. I did, you know, yeah. Wasn't great. Why did I turn into Micah right there? Is that just my, I don't know how to react to Dan without getting in trouble? Read his manifesto. He makes some good points. Okay.

I probably won't. They did publish it, though, famously. But you can hear more about that behind the paywall. Check it out. And then, of course, on Thursdays, we do listener voicemails. Every week, tried and true. People love it. You can hit the pipeline, 888-618-4422.

Leave a quick one. Get in, get out. Be tactical. What, Dan? You look like you got something. Got nothing. Just excited for this episode. I'm pretty excited, too.

But first, let's talk this weekend in fun presented by our good friends at athletic greens how'd you guys start your day you don't have to answer dan but i know dylan did i woke up and i tried to beat the heat by taking stella on a very early morning walk i got back and i immediately took my AG1 as I do every single day. On an empty stomach, it absorbs quicker that way, David. Not only that, but you're getting 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole foods, sourced superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help start your day right. The special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, immune system, energy, recovery, focus, and aging, all of the things, pretty much everything you're looking to, you know, guys our age, it's tough. Late 30s,

got to start thinking about it. I wish I had AG1 in my 20s. I started taking AG1 because it makes me feel better. It makes me feel healthy. It's the healthiest way to start a day. It makes me feel like I'm starting on the right foot. Without without it i feel a little uh incomplete it's important to have a green supplement because i think i heard some ridiculous stat like you need 12 to 13 servings of vegetables a day and it's just not it's a lot it's not doable no one's doing i don't see anyone doing that here's the thing dan it's lifestyle friendly whether you eat keto paleo vegan dairy free orfree. And also this one's for Dylan, less than one gram of sugar, no GMOs, no nasty chemicals or artificial anything.

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Straight up. That was a strong day. Straight up. Just absolutely dominating. On a Monday. On a Monday. Can I tell you about my weekend? Because of the age you want.

Yeah, go ahead, dude. Hijack the fucking show. Yeah, I'll keep mine short. Mine was, it was fine. So yesterday was Father's Day. I'm just going to, I'm kind of just going to get straight to it. Actually, I spent Saturday with some fam. I had parks, and we had a good time.

Didn't do a ton except for pack for his Camp Longhorn six-night stay, his first sleepaway camp. I was a mess on Sunday, man. Yeah. Saying bye to the little guy at about 1230 yesterday. Did he give you a mug or a tie? He made me a very touching little card uh his he filled out this thing it's like about my dad and he filled in a bunch of blanks and he colored it it was really cool how's the handwriting shout out to his mom

for helping with that it doesn't have the best handwriting not yet not yet but he's got time they still teach in cursive i don't know i. Not yet. It's really not that important. No. I'm not sure. No one uses that anymore. Okay. The way you learned it, you were writing on a quill and scroll, right? Yeah, that's right, because I'm very old, Dan.

That's an old guy joke. That's life when you're a frat star. I mean, you look great for 300 years old. So this kid, thanks. I appreciate that. 300. Put him on a charter bus yesterday, which is a nice bus for an eight-year-old. put him on a charter bus yesterday which is a nice bus for eight-year-olds it looked like a sick bus yeah and um it's it's a little bittersweet because i know

he's gonna have a lot of fun but he's not having fun yet and i know that because they they post pictures online oh no and the first picture hit the hit yesterday. And he's with his group. And there are a bunch of kids there. And they clearly have just gone swimming. And he appears to be crying in the picture. Okay, maybe it's like tears of happiness. Yeah. Because he just had an inside the park home run on the t-ball field.

Got launched off the blob. He's a shy kid. There is a blob tan there's definitely a blob he is good at making friends but it takes him a minute so i think he's just he's shy and he's nervous and he's a little scared he's staying away from his parents um so yeah i feel like i sent my kid off to torture camp for a week this camp longhorns uh it's very good camp very dope camp it's's very dope. Maybe they just took the picture right after they did the deal where they put him on the blob, and one of his friends launches him, and then his other group of friends are in a little fishing boat,

and they just unload on him with paintballs. Hopefully that's not what's going on. That'd be really messed up. That sounds like a jackass thing. Maybe. I don't know where they got the idea. Yeah, probably so. Just throwing it out there. Yeah. like a jackass thing yeah maybe i don't know where they got the idea yeah probably just just throwing it out there yeah i i'm a little i'm a little sad about it but he's he's gonna settle in he's gonna

have fun also on the way on the way to camp he said something that was extremely heart-wrenching he said i hope they don't judge me for my size he's a small guy he's a small lad he's like the smallest in his class small something like any sports team he's on just means he's a small my god he's a small lad he's like the smallest in his class small something like any sports team he's on just means he's gonna fly harder off the blob it's gonna be a really good experience for him it really will he's yeah dude yeah he's gonna come back he's gonna know how to like tie knots and shit they're gonna take advantage of his smallness i will provide updates he'll fit in little crevices yeah i don't know about that. Are they cave diving? I hope he has fun.

They shouldn't cave dive at that age. I can't communicate. I can write him letters. That's it. And I have already sent him one. How many days? Six nights. So you could realistically write like two letters and they might get there in time?

You can also email him every day. Computer letters, yes. And they print them off and hand it to him. I pre-filled out envelopes so he can send i pre like filled out envelopes so he can send me something back if he chooses to not pony express no no not pony express okay snail mail so we'll see anyway that was my he's gonna turn he's gonna have a blast he's gonna come back and he's gonna be sad that he's not there i hope so i hope you're right dan dan what'd you do for fun?

What'd I do this weekend? I played golf with Randy on Friday. This guy? Yeah. Randy plays golf? Best I've ever seen Randy play. I'm going to turn his mic up. Randy, don't take advantage of the situation. Randy also decided he was going to have a photo shoot mid-round. Played nine with Omar,

Fulton, and between every shot, Randy wasn't even focused on playing golf he was just like i needed to get some grams off something you got to know about randy is that he will spontaneously do content on your ass he'll do bits out of nowhere yeah i'll say that this wasn't spontaneous that we went in knowing that was planned yeah i told dan because i know dan is uh famously could get aggravated on the golf course with my slow play. So I told him, this is what we're doing. My only problem was I think you should hit the shot first.

Then you take the photo. What are we talking about here? Are we talking like thirst traps? Hold on. You'll see on a circling back. Yeah, I don't want to kind of spoil the surprise. To come at some point. Oh, here we go.

But no, he was not focused on his golf game at all. And it's the best he's ever hit the ball. So you're kind of an autopilot. Yeah, and I like multiple pars. Ty Dan. He learned how to putt. My golf game's in a transitional period right now. It's very Billy Ho-ish.

I'm on the cusp of finding it again. So you're tour quality. Billy Ho-ish? Horshal. I believe it's Horshal. Oh, Horshal, yes. Yeah. I thought you were out there just sucking and fucking like a hoe. I believe it's Horschel. Oh, Horschel, yes. Yeah. I thought you were out there just like sucking and fucking like a hoe.

I'm not playing well, Dave. But I am. I'm on the cusp. Well, you know, Dan, I haven't played with you in a while. Yeah. I just don't play enough. I've only played Butler. I've only done the pitch and putt with Randy.

He surprised me. Like, I didn't realize that he'd ever picked up a club. And he was out there and he was adequate i taught him how to putt he's a new man honestly that's why i was playing so well because i was listening to dan's advice were you guys by any chance holding up groups behind you because you were doing a photo shoot because that's grounds to get that's grounds to get like you know maybe one hidden to you a lot of different holes where i was already done and waiting in my cart for randy omar and i were very kind of said about the people behind us there was only one time that someone was even on like the t-box when we were still on the road um we were good

yeah omar takes good photos so you picked the right guy um okay i'm very interested with this meme is this is for a meme is this what you're telling me he's gonna hit us with it dave and we're gonna okay i'm sorry man i'm champing at the bit as are the listeners wow it could be some spawn con brett's in the house it honestly very much could be it might be spawn con but uh i'll be leveraging some ai tools too for it oh great hey brett hello i'm about to do my weekend and fun you got anything fun from the weekend you want to throw out oh yeah i have a uh an announcement uh last night dave i went to a venue uh you may be familiar with uh lupe tortilla yeah oh yeah i want to throw out there i got the flautas fuck dude the most fun meal you can order

it's the shut up people are like it's a top three fun meal is it not it's not that fun it's just it's just fried you're so boring you came in hot and i thought you're gonna declare fried tortilla no people were saying it's chicken piccata summer and i'm not saying it's not but i'm gonna say no it's not it might be flautas might be might be, flautas might be the move summer. Flautas might be the move summer. It doesn't really roll off the tongue. That's just your opinion. Dylan, it's a fun play.

What part of that don't you get? Just cause you don't have any fun when you order your meals. Sure, they're fun. I'm very happy for you, Brad. Better, not more fun than sizzling fajitas that are delivered to your table. Hey, somebody. On a freaking skillet.

Is that our intern? No one's there. Cool. Yeah. Maybe a delivery? Doesn't matter. Very cool. Maybe.

I hope they don't break into that big file cabinet over there with the lock on it, Randy. Steal our headphones. Just kidding. Just kidding. That's behind the curtain stuff. Might be a. Is it a delivery, Randy. Steal our headphones. Just kidding. Just kidding. That's behind the curtain stuff. Is it a delivery, Randy? No clue. I think we're probably okay just to keep recording.

I think it is an intern. I think she just went to the bathroom and she just put her stuff on the table. I probably didn't need to make a thing of it, but I did. Now, people love the BTS. Yeah, they do. How was your weekend, Dave? It was great. Are you done with yours? No, that was just weekend it was great are you done with yours no that was just a proclamation you can go into your oh i had a really solid pizza spot after golf okay it's a

food truck up north called i believe pedrasos we've heard of we've heard of that yeah it delivered very good very good would you go with your grandma style why did you go to the truck it's only a truck isn't it i think it's only a truck you said you said it delivered i was making a delivery joke yeah yeah yeah sorry that's they like that one let them sit that's good let this man cook um fantastic i did not play my czar card on my weekend. I, uh, I had an up and down weekend, um, golf pun, not intended. We did play golf Friday, Brett and I, um, a noon tea time, probably the, the hottest round of golf we'll play all year, but sneaky. If you hydrate before,

if you prehydrate, not that bad. We said as much. I mean, we were mentally prepared for the heat. And hydrated, electrolyted. That's a word. It's actually my favorite time of the year to play golf. Why? 105 degrees, getting a nice tan.

Yeah, I mean, go for it. It's the worst, but okay. Super loose, you're good to go. It wasn't that terrible at five when we went yeah the marine layer came in okay covered up the sun just there's just glaring lack of marine layer in central texas for some reason especially right now we played pretty well dave we did okay i had a stretch of my best golf of the year. Which you played Falcon Head? Brett, no, Spanish. Spanish. Brett came out real hot. Like 100 through six type stuff. Yeah.

Like very good. Like we're on Brett watch right now. Brett's taking all the money. Turns out he ended up losing money to me, one US dollar, keeping track at home. That's okay. I'm happy with my 88. I'm a guy who doesn't play golf very often anymore.

So 88, I can't even be mad at Saturday That's when things got dicey Woke up Turned the TV on My living room TV The main TV It's out broken

Got a giant Black shadow Through about a quarter of it and then it just starts flickering. What the hell happened? I'm guessing it's like an LED light. Anyway, so I spent the majority of the morning on the phone with Samsung, the good people at Samsung. I'm putting you on blast a little bit. Well, Dave, this is what happens when the big game happens and you get upset and punch the TV. There was no big... I was really pissed about how friday the u.s open ended i just destroyed my

tv for a viral tiktok are they sending you a new flatty uh out of warranty they were really quick to tell me that oh you got this in 2019 so it's out of warranty very cool but they did offer me one for surprisingly cheap that's apparently the the newer version of the one I had, same size and everything. After saying I'll never buy another Samsung, I bought a Samsung. Samsung makes a good TV. Well, it broke. I don't know if you just heard the first part. I did.

Do you need Dylan to remount it by any chance? The mount is probably still on the wall. You're going to have to... I'm going to need help on this because you've seen my living. You know, I've drilled into the tile to do it. It's like a special mount, and I don't think I can do it myself. Daddy will come help you. So pretend I've never said a bad thing about you and come over and do this.

I did actually – I'll give you a cold beer. One time I did drop a very large, expensive TV, and it broke. I remember that. But that was a solo job. Yeah. If I had Davey there with me. You should have asked, man.

People don't think I'm strong enough to lift a TV, but it turns out I can lift my body weight. Holy shit. Yeah, I'm pretty strong. Dan's seeing me. Maybe y'all can go for flautas afterwards.

Maybe too. We could have a little fun day. You pay me with the gift of flautas. I'm not making them. Let's be clear. They're very difficult to make correctly. Leave it up to the experts. It's a date.

I've made them before. They're really good. Okay, Brett. I'm sure they're great. I was being so dismissive of you. Yesterday was Father's Day. We went to brunch. We went to Brett's old stomping grounds fix.

What'd you get? I went with the fried chicken sandwich. Can't miss. It was delightful. Biscuits there on point. The Rhodes Man was great. Didn't freak out. Didn't run around the restaurant. You know, you expect at this age, like, they're going to be kind of a, you know,

wild child when they get out there. It was great. Was in, was out, went home, watched golf. That's it. My back actually hurts from how there it was great was in was out went home watch golf that's it my back actually hurts from how the shitty position i was in watching the u.s open all day yesterday kid let me kidnapped let me watch golf didn't didn't uh want to watch toy story it's phenomenal dan can you relate to any of this have you monetized your child yet we're trying we've got a sponsor we've got a meeting on caa well i there's got to be like somewhere in the handbook at wash like your kid has to be

this old to ride this ride aka like to have a sponsorship i don't know what they what they want i think youtube has no kind of legal actions with that parks wants a youtube channel we should make parts a streamer he wants one and they fully monetize kids oh yeah oh i mean why not have them open up gifts dude there's that kid who that like 12 year old who opens toys and talks about that's all he does and he just stacks millions and you know he's going to be a piece of shit like when he's older he'll just be like a jake paul he has youtube money well he'll go through a phase, right? Logan Paul's come out of it, but Jake has not. I want Rhodes to be more of like a baby Gronk type.

So you're riding for it. You're pushing DMs left and right. Yeah, I'm putting it out there. You're telling them what to say on podcasts. I'm just setting him up for his financial future. I'm not going to be able to afford the best Bluetooth speaker for my son, but if I can get him out there with viral clips, maybe him catching some passes, maybe him throwing some tutties, Dylan. I know you love saying tutties.

That's a thing you do. Why wouldn't I do that? Why wouldn't I set my kid up? What better way to monetize? Get him in early. You got to get him in early. I just want to get him ready for the future, really. Other than that,

pretty tame weekend. Shout out to Ryan for having Brett and I out to the course again. Major shout out. Great time. Sorry I took your 47 US dollars. Someone actually paid? This group pays, yeah.

That's crazy. Nobody pays at Kaiser. Hand up, I didn't pay your one US dollar that you won. That's crazy. You know what, Dave? Nobody pays at Kaiser. Hand up, I didn't pay you your one U.S. dollar that you won. Oh, shit. That's always the best. You end up paying somebody $12. Yep. But I have a hot take on the golf yesterday.

I don't like late afternoon primetime golf. That is purely a mid, like I want that tournament to wrap up at 5.30, 6.30. You wanted to roll right into 60 minutes, although this was an NBC, John. Sure. You wanted to roll into that kind of program. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Here and there, I like it. It was pretty juiceless because there's no crowd. Zero crowd.

LACC was very hyped up before this week and did not live up. I don't think. So to speak. Good scoreboard. Good leaderboard. But, I mean, yeah, Wyndham Clark, pretty, you know, meh winner.

Dylan, you click out. You got something. No, I was going to say I like having golf on all day. This guy just fucking loves golf. It started early and it was on all day. I thought that was fun. Yeah, I think I liked it it i don't like looking up and realizing i've watched i've watched seven hours of golf and it's like 8 30 so it's like i gotta

be in bed in an hour hour and a half and i'm like way behind on love island which i i have started i'm i'm i'm getting there dylan you better get you better catch that f up yeah new episode drop it friday first episode of the season, right? We can say that. Is it this Friday? Maybe. So we basically skipped week one? We skipped week one.

We'll do week one and two this week at some point. Okay. So check it out on Patreon. The thing that people really want to talk about, and the reason I've assembled this roundtable of humans, to talk about and the reason I've assembled this round table of humans. We've got a softball league that isn't an official washed media softball league or softball team, I should say, but we are kind of like sneaky cucking it. Like Dan, I'm giving Dan as a washed media adjacent personality. So just want to get your thoughts, Dan. Dan, I know you're coming off injury.

Any thought to losing your spot to Dylan potentially? Yeah. Any worries, fears? Fine with it. I'll be the Wally Pitt. A lot of people are pointing out, and I'm not one of these people, I promise you, Dan. A lot of people are pointing out that the same team that we just beat 14 to 1 with me you guys tied with you not that i make up a 13 run difference because i certainly don't right people are pointing it out again not me and you have any thoughts on what pretty sure i was not the issue i think i had

five rbis i came who is yeah name names like who just be honest who's really holding y'all down there's some nice folks on that team dave i'll be real with you. When you haven't played baseball in, I don't know, two decades, it's really hard, especially in the outfield, to have depth perception. So that's my biggest issue is trying to field something like somebody fly ball, right? And you're just like, oh, no, it's way behind me, way much more than I thought. It just kind of floats there. And then you just kind of have to like – it's like getting stuck at a red light,

and then you're on your phone, turns green, somebody honks their horn, and you just kind of rush. Yeah, oh, yeah, the panic floor. The panic floor. That's the worst. That's kind of how I feel like in the outfield. It's interesting because it's not like there's a lot of pressure. It's not like a trip to the College World Series is on the line.

No. Ouch, Dylan. That wasn's a lot of pressure. It's not like a trip to the College World Series is on the line. No. Ouch, Dylan. That wasn't a depth perception thing. And I made some plays, but hand up, there were some errors the first two weeks. No, I've heard that you will absolutely hold your own, if I'm being totally honest. I think a lineup with Dan and Dylan, thinking Dan hitting three, maybe Dylan in the two-hole per use, could really work. He's making a two-hole joke.

You want to lead off? Is that the thing? I get the third hole. Is that the good hole? Wherever Coach Brett puts me, that's where I'm going to put him. I'm more of an assistant coach to Fulton Oil and Gas, who is the manager. Oh, is he?

Yeah, we're a solid team. The defense is the main problem. That's the issue. Hitting is no problem. We put up runs. I mash. Dan mashes. Now, to my own horn, I haven't gotten out this year.

So I'll put that in the mash category. You haven't gotten out this year? I've been on pace every single time. Jeez, that's pretty impressive. Dylan mashes. Randy. I haven't gotten out. Randy hustles. Randy's time. Jeez, that's pretty impressive. Dylan mashes. I have gotten out. Randy hustles. Randy's good.

Yeah, he hustles. I might have the most runs in the team because I get on base, and then either you two get me in. Randy's our Tony Gwynn. He'll just slap it around the yard on your ass. Don't compare him to Tony Gwynn. Why, because he's dead? No, he's just a really good ball player.

He's the greatest hitter of all time. He's the greatest hitter of all time. He is the greatest hitter of all time, slapping singles. I'm complimenting Randy. I know, I'm just saying. I'm out there for runs. I'm going to be out there tomorrow, watch, and I'll be the judge. He's not going to put one 440 into the stands, but he'll slap it around. Okay.

We had a pitching issue the first couple weeks. We have solved the pitching issue. Yeah, Brett's our pitcher now. Because the other teams just don't swing if it's not a good pitch. That's smart. I don't do that. I feel like scummy. Dan's up there taking hacks.

If you're walking in slow pitch softball, you're a scumbag. Have you struck out at all? Seems a bit harsh. I have not. Has anybody on your team struck out? Randy has. That's okay, Randy. Randy, I didn't know this about you.

That was the pool quality. You're not Tony Gwynn. Never mind. They also get a little aggressive with the arc. You need that 6-12. Yeah. I've switched up the – I go sometimes like this. I go sometimes like that.

You really switched it up, Dave. When I played little league ball you know they shelled you well i did get shelled famously but they would not allow you to throw a knuckleball not that anybody at you know 12 years old was really making a dance but they wouldn't let you throw a knuckleball and then i later came to realize oh it's because that would just that would just be a disaster no one's throwing a knuckleball over the plate. It's going to hit people. Do you know how many knuckleballs I've faced in my entire baseball?

No one throws a knuckleball. Very few people can throw a good knuckleball. It'll change your career, though. Ask R.A. Dickey. Famously. Who's the other dude? Jamie Moyer? No, he just threw soft.

That's right. But he picked a spot, baby. Charlie Huff is the most but he picked this spot charlie huff is the the most famous knuckleballer i've probably ever all right one of cy young right no the who was the the red sox guy tim uh wakefield wakefield yeah he's a knuckleballer charlie huff was like the grandfather of knuckle balls i think what i did i would just throw it over the plate at about 40 miles an hour and people get off on your ass and then i would just give up about 12 and they would just throw it over the plate at about 40 miles an hour. People just teed off on your ass. And then I would just give up about 12, and they would just leave me out there for some reason.

Like, yeah, we've already lost this. They didn't have anybody else. Don't waste an arm. No, it's right. I was saving the bullpen for future games. No, but it was great because before the game, I'd never pitched. One of the dads who was an assistant coach comes out to me. He's like, brought the catcher out, and he's like brought the catcher out and he's like alright

this is curve, this is fastball this is your split, like you know forkball, splitter or whatever I was like dude, Dave's throwing forkballs no one's throwing forkballs Dave grips the ball, I'm not throwing a circle change dude I'm just getting it over the plate

that's ridiculous yeah, this is true There's no way I was old This is still when I played at Keys Park So this is like 10 or 11 years old You're just shaking them off like no I don't have that fucking pitch Yeah man I don't have a curveball Just put the one down and I'll throw it

Last time I played competitive baseball I was maybe 12 And they wouldn't let you throw curveballs Because it would screw up your arm That's been the prevailing wisdom yeah cancel culture i was gonna say conventional wisdom but they both play there dan are you playing tomorrow night you know there's some rumblings whoa yeah dylan are you playing tomorrow night yeah i would like to i mean but this – We did this. I don't want to take anyone's spot. Can I pitch?

No. Brett's got a good thing going right now. Okay. Yeah. I just can't really run. I would put you at – Well, go to first. Okay.

We can put – We did it. Our boy Zach somewhere else. I don't want to take anybody's spot. Your spot. I think you've firmly taken the shortstop spot. Nobody else is playing short okay i mean look you tell me to show up if you want me to show up and i'll play uh dan apologies if i'm telling tales out of school here but i do remember you tell me you

lifted legs over the weekend yesterday because you were famously nursing a calf i've always said that when you tear a calf muscle you should probably go back to legs yeah it was light though we didn't go past 225 squat how'd it feel felt good felt good yeah i think we're we're about 80 have you tried to run yet no okay so like that's gonna be the issue what's your what's your stretch routine like i don't do you have the lion theory yeah i don't i don't stretch i need to i need to get into yoga. Dave always blows me off. Brett's been doing it. You've got to stretch, Dan. At your age, and I'm not saying you're old, but you don't –

I know I am. I'm 32. You don't sprint on a regular basis. You have to stretch. It was the second game, though, when it happened. So softball, baseball, it's kind of weird because you're never really fully warmed up because you kind of just stand in the outfield until something happens. Stretching goes a long way.

Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. There's rumors that Dave's going to make an appearance tomorrow. Wow. I'll be out there. I'll be out there. I think they'll get me doing some play-by-play. We'll see.

We'll see what Randy's got. Randy's always up to something. If Randy wants to do content, I see why you shouldn't be there. We should get a beer after the game. A couple cold ones in the parking lot? Just saying, man. Adult leagues are too late. It's an 8.50 game, right?

It's so far away, too. It's 8.50, it's far away, and so it's Tuesday, so places don't really... Pine House doesn't stay open late, but we can try. They also kick you out of the parking lot, because we've had to try or we've tried to do beers after the game and the guys are like i want to go home and i get that yeah i get

that you didn't want to hang out and watch y'all just drink beer in the parking lot no at a certain point it becomes like an obligation sitting on a tuesday night it's like all right i already signed up for the baseball game i gotta go to get beers with the boys yeah i want to do there's the early bird another league starts in mid-july so i don't know if if there's interest around is it the same fields uh you can do either the same ones or there's one a little closer but i'm not i'm not sure where okay anything that's not in houston would be nice and preferable it's past the airport it is well on their way to houston um yeah we we got a dub dave finally got a dub i'm pretty happy yeah it kind of sounds like maybe i was the issue chemistry wise yeah probably you probably kept

bringing up uh frogs and whatnot in the dugout. Well, they are. RFK stuff. In fact, turning gay. That's fair, man. We'll talk about it. According to what they're putting in the water. No, I think once we figured out the walk,

like giving up three to four walks an inning and then somebody would just hit a grand slam every inning. I think we've gotten that. We did have a strategy where we're like a girl that's never pitched, have her pitch, and our three best players in the outfield. We did try that. The ball never got to us. The ball never gets to the players that should be making the outs. And so I think once we've remedied the situation,

we put Dylan at short, Randy in the outfield, he's good for like 80% of catches. Yeah. I had to run so far. There are balls that get past him on the ground, though. He doesn't like to bend down. Brett told me that he intentionally hits it to all the girls on the field. That's why he gets on face-to-face.

Oh, I aim at them exactly, yeah. I've done that. I'm just kidding. I've done that a couple times. You didn't actually tell me that. I have done that. That is a strategy that is foolproof. Well, if there's nobody on and two outs, you're like,

I'm going out, though, and I'm getting a home run. Take your chance of trying to hit a ball over somebody's head in the outfield or you just slap Tony Gwynn style. Get on base and then let somebody else ding you in. Or if there's like a schloppy guy out in the outfield, I pick a schloppy guy. Help me out here. What's a schloppy guy? A fellow who's not in the best shape? An egg-shipped man.

Okay. Egg-shipped. I will aim it in yeah so you're saying if randy's in the outfield you're just going away from randy because randy looks like an athlete regardless of his skills he's good for like we said 80 of his catches yeah well guys back in the day when i played a lot of softball my strategy was always just to send it but these days when i send, I use stamps.com. With so much of our world digitized or automated, why stick to old school mailing and shipping?

Why did Brett leave? Because your segue was so strong, he couldn't handle it. He had to end on a high note. Look, if you mail or ship often, let stamps.com do the hard part for you. Hey, hopefully your camp, Parks Camp, they got Stamps.com because you're going to be sending letters and stuff, right? They absolutely should have.

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click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code circling back ad read so good we lost brett if you keep this up will's gonna have to find a new seat in the podcast yeah i mean yeah it's normally the percentage with those ads i know man like i don't i need to get my beak wet a little bit um let's talk megan markle we gotta talk grift what the hell we gotta talk the grift i love a good podcast grift we've been doing it for how many years now we don't grift we don't we run an ethical upstanding business here dave you're right we've we've never done uh we've never interviewed someone and um had one of our staffers do it and then edited in our voice or edited in us asking the questions after the fact as megan markle is apparently done this happened imagine

if you're someone who's like like hey megan markel wants to interview you on her new podcast like oh that sounds great and then it's not her it's just someone else it's doing voiceover work what the hell is going on that is such bullshit and that is grifting it's grift 101 that is that is the lowest lift possible when getting a podcast published. Her entire life is a grift, right? She was on Suits. She then was like, I need to hone in on this man that is royalty. Are you saying she's a gold digger? No, I think she had a plan, and she executed, and I commend her for that.

Well, the show they did, the reality show they did what was it called john and kate plus eight different one uh octo mom uh no um don't remember what it was called did they fix up houses big sausage pizza what they fixed houses right they live in waco david koresh oh you're talking chip and joanna sorry i was wrong on all those by the way that's not that's not what they do uh dealing with the tech issue on my end over here. You know, you've gone too far when you lose Bill Simmons. Harry and Meghan on Netflix was the show. Oh, how did we not guess their first names?

Harry and Meghan was their show on Netflix. Oh, it wasn't called Spare? How's this book? Was that what it was called? It's called Spare. That's so embarrassing. And that was just an opportunistic money grab like the whole just in his book they're just exposing the royal the royal family and um i'm all for exposing if you're maybe maybe uh start with uh you know your uncle

who might be connected to a dead human trafficker pedophile. They weirdly didn't touch that topic as far as I know. Release the names, Dave. We're all waiting. Yeah, they lost Bill Simmons. Bill Simmons called them. Because he's apparently, I didn't realize he's an executive at Spotify. He's got that title. Because, you know, the ringer sold out to Spotify.

So he's got some interest there. Did he make a reference to a John Candy movie? I don't know but the whole reason we're doing the story is so um i don't know if anybody wants to offer up a bill simmons impersonation because he did call them fucking grifters he says i wish i had been involved in megan and harry um leave spotify negotiation the fucking grifters, he said. Yeah, like, can you really be mad that they, I'm not going to say they defrauded,

but they did grift Spotify? Like, that's a big podcast. He said, I got to get drunk one night and tell the story of the Zoom I had with Harry to help him with the podcast idea. It's one of my best stories. Fuck the grifters. I don't like it when people tease stuff like that. Just do it? This happened, I'm going to, sports tie-in this happened with ema udoka when um matt barnes

yeah who could forget matt barnes when i was like oh yeah i guys i know what happened in boston and it's bad i can't talk about it like well fucking don't tell us now don't even say that yeah don't even bring it up. Yeah, same thing here. Bill's got to release that story. Release the tapes. Release the flight logs. I want to know.

Yeah, I agree. But to record an interview and then just voice over the part that your assistant did is the lamest thing I've ever heard. Have we ever done anything like that i want to listen to a i want to listen to one of the episodes and see what people like how did people pick up on this i wonder um well i think i think fans didn't notice i think it was somebody who worked on the show we have like a an underling that kind of snitched on them re-recorded lines for videos back in the Grand X days. That's fine. Yeah.

That's fine. We do that here occasionally. That's normal shit. Like Will surfboarding in the water. Not the best audio. So I just had him re-record a line or two. Just him yelling hang ten? Yeah.

Yeah. That was a fun trip, wasn't it? I miss Jacksonville. If you're new here dan dan went to uh ponte vedra with us like five years ago and it was a company trip or it was an ad trip the tour not to brag this sounds like i'm name dropping but tour had us out met portals dan i watched dan give blake portals a hug it was just it was a great moment because portals wasn't even weirded out he saw your ucf he came

up he hugged me yeah it was phenomenal i've had a couple run-ins with portals that are just guys what's he doing notable um probably ripping cigs okay yeah he's a nice guy i will say he that whole thing very well my favorite part of his whole interaction with us was taking like four road beers and tpc is about a half mile away it's not far if you ride a bike though it's about an hour away as we learned when you go the wrong way when you go the wrong way thinking we're gonna beat the traffic and then you get there just not fun not fun but that was a good trip man that was the infamous Arby's polo that I didn't wear. That was a great trip. I almost smoked a guy on a miniaturized 17. We got that on camera.

One of our most watched YouTube clips or Instagram clips at the time. We posted it. Dan just straight up blading one. And perhaps the biggest winner in PGA Tour history, Webb Simpson. Was that a Webb Simpson day? Oh, my God. He, like, boat raced the field. Yeah, Dan hit a 60-yard shot 130 yards and almost killed somebody ball speed of like 155 yeah just really unnecessary

the dude just turned around and looked didn't even say anything we're just all like turning around there's nobody else hitting it's just it's clearly us yeah not good that was fun that was a fun trip man need to run it back yeah be cool tour would have us out yeah they got all that piff money now might as well that's a really really good point and they're also no longer uh non-prof yeah you guys uh getting a sponsorship from a ramco we're not trying to work in some deals no i don't think so in talks with yazzer no no I don't think so. In talks with Yasser? No, I don't think. We talked about that. What's the number for us to just go back on everything we said about Liv?

Everyone has one. Yeah. Mine's at least five figures. Mine's much lower than I'd like to admit. We'll walk it back if they want to slide us a stack. Show us the softer side of Liv. You know, it's golf but louder dylan right that's

the thing about it yeah i've heard that yeah golf not very loud yesterday famously more than that on too much dip later dan i wish you're sticking around for that but kj will be on that'll be good fun anything else on the grifters no i'm glad that their show got pulled i can't get over the how lazy it is to edit in have a staffer do an interview with someone and then edit in your voice what is the person you're interviewing think they're like that's what i was saying i was gonna talk to megan yeah megan's kind of the draw here that's why i agreed to and do you ask them to sign an nda like you can't say that like megan didn't actually speak to you because if not that's the first thing i would say like uh this is edited i have a better question

who is who's listening to this my wife yeah there are there are people who are weirdly obsessed like they're just throwing bags out left and right to just celebrities that think like hey you guys can be a podcast i guess like springsteen and obama you guys are a podcast now is this the first domino to fall on the podcast collapse? The bubble? Yeah. Is this finally it? Dan's been talking about that bubble for a while. Dan's talking about the bubble. I'm just early on it. Dan was ground floor pod bubble.

Yeah, we were launching Wash Media, and I was talking to Dan. I was like, yeah, we're going to do our own thing, man, out on our own. He was like, I don't know, man. Podcasting's a bubble. It's going to pop real soon. Okay, very cool, Dan. Thank you for the confidence and the business that we just started. I distinctly remember having Dan spot me on Incline one day at Lifetime.

No, no. Doing one plate each side, big boy shit. And Dan having those thoughts and me being like, dude, I don't want to hear this right now. Fucking trying to lift and trying to be dialed. Get it while you can like nah dude the grift is on man we gotta just keep it running yeah but i just don't know who is listening to these podcasts they've they maybe get an episode or two and they're not good they're not entertaining and then spotify is just like shit we spend 100 million dollars on this what's the most wild thing y'all have talked about on softcore history i should have prepped you for this but i'm curious because

every time y'all do posts i'm like we do crazy stuff sounds we try to do like things that aren't usually covered in history class so just like obscure stuff we rotate so the host for the week does all the research the other two just show up and react and it's better that way not knowing what we're getting into uh this past episode we just did um the guy that indiana jones is based on didn't know it was based on somebody interesting so very cool okay craziest things we've done um i don't know countless stuff there was a tsunami from a broken dam in pennsylvania back in the day that wiped out an entire town and it caught on fire it hit a barbed wire factory did russia destroy it or was it oh we don't have to do that i'm sorry no we should do

russia it's tough because i think we do have a topic coming up that i have a russia take on okay i can't oh i think i know what it might be. Check it out. Softcore History. Dan, I was hoping for a Sup's Dog style plug there, but you did well. You did well. Sup's Dog deserved the plug it got. Sup's Dog is a good show. Maybe I was the only one who liked it, but I always enjoyed it.

Me, you, Connor would hop on. Occasionally Connor would. It's fun. Just talking about creatine and shit. I didn't listen a bunch bunch but I did love the name sub dog what was the logo was it like a bear

it was a dog it was a dog on roids inside the Da Vinci circle that's right I forget what the name is facts

but shout out to Hayden for designing that oh shout out to Hayden good dude but I'm pretty sure it was Mr. Peanut Butter from BoJack Horseman, The Head. Oh, that's fine.

Doesn't matter. And then we also used the Tokyo Drift theme song. That's a good one. One of my faves. A lot of cease and desist we could have gotten for that very new show. Statue of limitations were good. Hey, I want to give a big shout out to our friends over at Rowe. Right-of-way clothing.

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ROW. That's R-O-W. Sold exclusively at Academy Sports and Outdoors. Visit academy.com slash ROW or just go to a location near you shop today. All right. It wouldn't be a modern circling back if we didn't do some kind of, uh, some kind of ocean shit. Check in with our friends of the sea. We're big on our sea vibes right now. Yeah. Um, you want to start with the uh shark bites marlin men lose money did you know

that if you are in a marlin fishing tournament and uh your fish comes in your marlin you've been working on them all day six hours whatever however long it takes i've never fished for marlin that may surprise y'all if it has a bite taken out of it from a shark or from from hell an orca doesn't count you lose you lose or your deducted points um i orca. Doesn't count. You lose. You lose or you're deducted points. I think it just doesn't count for your catch. Disqualified due to mutilation. It's not at full strength. You're catching injured.

It's a DQ. And this happened to a fishing crew who were looking to win $3.5 million in prize money after a 600-pound marlin disqualified them because when they got it up, there were some shark bites taken out of it. Not huge. It wasn't like ripped in half. The thing still weighed over 600 pounds. Now, listen, I still question the ethics of fishing these days. Yeah. Especially when those weights were exposed out of the fish. I'm a catch and release guy. That's my thing since day one. I catch it, I release it. I'm not a trophy fisherman, you know?

No, it's something I've known about you. You also don't like touching fish. I also don't like touching fish. There's something about the gills that freaks him out. I did go marlin. This ain't slimy. I went marlin fishing one time. Okay.

Went with my family, and I was a younger man. We went on a 12-hour excursion uh off of Puerto Vallarta not a single bite a couple beers had the boat was it was 98 degrees the boat didn't have air conditioning and I will never I will never go again plus the trophy thing you know I'm not into that do you get seasick I don't I don't get motion sickness or never have anyway knock on wood you would have rather just been back at the hotel flogging dolphins or something i would have been i'd rather be doing anything than being on a very hot boat in the middle of the ocean not catching anything that doesn't sound fun it was terrible i kind of i got a pretty good mackerel once um off of gulf shores holy mackerel that's uherel. That's my contribution to that. But I mean, this does make sense.

Catching an injured fish probably should not count. I don't know. So I have read, I've done some research as to why. I understand that if the thing's been compromised to the point to where it's going to affect the weight, That's one thing. But apparently back in the day, people used to try to run over the fish, like using the props. Yeah. To like make it easier to get on the boat, like to make it easier to catch basically. You don't have to fight it for five hours. So they introduced this mutilation rule, which kind of makes sense, but this is just a bad break. What if the competition – The crew would have earned 2.77 million for coming in first

and another 739,000 for the first catch of the year that is more than 500 pounds. After tax, it's not that much, as you guys know. Decent chunk, but – What if the competition is underneath the water in little U-boats or a James Cameron submarine? I don't know if we're doing U-boats. All right. Well, a James Cameron submarine and just kind of picking the fish apart as it's being reeled in seems it seems like

their their efforts would be better spent just trying to catch a fish somewhere else you would think so yeah but people cannot be reasoned with who knows does parks like to fish he does his dad his grandfather takes him that's a That's a good grandpa there. Yeah, because his dad, as we all know, not big into fishing. Not an outdoorsman. I don't really, I just don't like to fish, man. I don't know. I get impatient.

I like to touch the fish. I don't like the worms and all that shit. Dylan's more of a, like, go to the ranch and hit a lob wedge and then shoot it out of the air with a shotgun. The most beta thing about me is that I don't like to fish and that's okay with me teach a man to fish that's right dan you fish not really no fishing's not really on my my radar my dad is super into the outdoors was trying to always get me to fish and hunt and every time i went as a kid we we never saw anything. So I was just bored out of my mind. Yeah. I remember sitting in a tree stand early December for deer season. Hell yeah.

And freezing my balls off at 12. Yep. It just wasn't for me. You became a man that day, though. I did. Dad wouldn't even talk to me. Not because it would scare off the deer, but he just didn't want to talk to me. He just didn't care for you at that time.

I was 12. I don't have a cool personality then. No, the opposite. What's going on with these orcas? You got a theory, Dan? Oh, the orcas, man. They're gathering, kind of like the juggalos. We're trending into murder hornet territory

with big media that are really, really honing in on an animal story that may or may not be that big of a deal. This seems to have a little bit more legs, or should I say fins, than the murder hornet story. I tend to agree. Because there is a history of whales being trained by our enemies. We did a story on that, yes. Russia has...

The beluga whale. They have weaponized the beluga on many occasions. I believe we ourselves have weaponized dolphins.uga on many occasions and i believe we ourselves have weaponized dolphins there's no way we're not getting a piece of that action or sharks yeah we're absolutely weaponizing whatever we can so i'm wondering what's their agenda what's going on with these orcas they keep sinking these boats and if there's somebody they have an issue with and if there's someone that should be on notice right now it's the country japan okay they just have beef they oh they do uh you're talking

about the whaling industry okay that's fair so maybe they're fighting beef is actually uh bovine it's not it's not well it's not whale yeah see this is what you do when you host you just volume shoot jokes man oh i Oh, I'm sorry. Fucking this guy. I mean, people don't even like that. They just got it. They got it. It took a while.

Good stuff, Dylan. Thanks, man. You're the guy. It is the beef of the sea. Monterey Bay over the weekend. Around 30 killer whales were spotted just hanging out. Just hanging around. Just talking.

Just loitering. Oh, there's still... Yeah's yeah all right thanks guys we'll be at the addison improv next week okay here's a really funny quote tweet um about this orca story it's a picture of uh bloods and crips linked up together with their bandanas tied and it says sharks and orcas this summer on the same side truce they're gonna oh man it's the sharks and the orcas teamed up together we'd be in a lot of trouble which gets to my next question something that's come up on behind the paywall a number of times someone called in they hit the pipeline and they said hey if all of the animals in the world communicated and decided to try to take out civilization, human civilization, an uprising, would they succeed? Yes.

One of the members of the show, I'll let him speak for himself. It's the dumbest hypothetical of all time. Dude, you've never been more wrong. There's no way that they would stand a chance. We have fighter jets. We stand a chance. We have battleships. We stand a chance. We have battleships. We have armor. We have weapons. We're terrible at communication. We have human

brains. There are a million reasons why this would not even be a contest. We all hate each other. So like if all the animals in the world had an uproar. Oh yeah, because they all really get along, Dan. And they had a common enemy, right? That's what we always need. That's what they always say, right? We need an alien invasion because we need a common enemy to unite. would not even be worth the discussion just do it alone could

take us out we kill is your your grossly underestimating the amount of birds rats insects insects we build a fortified a fortified home base and that is the most yes you're gonna stay at the airport Hilton because it has a bunker does it does yeah it's an old like air force base that's where we

oh no it's not um no it's not the hotel yeah we had our high school prom

our high school prom there because it was a private hotel at the time did you go down in the bunker a little bit it's got a doomsday bunker I think I made out in there, though. Did you really?

Yeah. Okay, what else, man? Not to brag, but cool, cool. But just insects alone and vermin, they would destroy us. Thank you. Mosquitoes crush us. That's the best argument you've made so far is mosquitoes. They're going to get together.

They're going to come up with a super malaria strain. Yeah. Because they're so smart. Probably leak it from a lab. Probably. And we're done, dude. We're done. Don't get a shadow ban, Dave.

That's fine. We're already banned. We're grifting. We have- Tokyo grift over here. We have satellite imagery and battleships and any weapon you can imagine. What's a battleship going to do? Okay. You're thinking fucking orcas are going to have a chance to what's a battleship gonna do okay you're just fucking orcas yeah are we gonna nuke ourselves because the animals are on land yeah dude all of the all of our

weaponry would just destroy like kill the animals of the sea very easily very easily if you get he said every animal 30 killer whales if they if they can flip a battleship. Stop. Oh, we only go marine mammals or animals? They're going to go for the rudders. No. Stop. All animals. The hypothetical is all animals.

Kingdom Animalia. We have no shot. Not a prayer. We have sonar and radar and everything. Just because we cannot communicate with them does not mean they're less intelligent. I would argue that the average dolphin or orca is smarter than the average American. Echo location, you ever heard of it?

I have, Dave. You familiar? Yeah. They have that. Do we have that? We've got to stop revisiting this topic. I'm never going to change my mind on this. I know.

And I like to point out, because when it happens, I want people to be like, God, that Dylan's such an idiot. It's not going to happen. We're soft. They'll go until they die. That's true, dude. That's the thing about – think about all the dogs turning on us. Stella, she's going to fucking put you out.

Stella would never do that. She's going right at your neck. She'd be on my side. Good luck trying to go to sleep. She'd protect me. No, Stella and Randy would link up and just go on a fucking spree. Not that Randy, my dog. Randy might too.

I don't know. I'm team human. I'm also with Dylan on this one. Not that, Randy. My dog. Randy might too. I don't know. I'm team human. I'm also with Dylan on this one. Thank you, Randy. Another smart guy. I'm on team. Either it ends with humans on top or it ends in a draw because we just nuked the planet. Planet of the Apes ends with one species

taking us over. That's another thing. We haven't even talked about chimps. With their strength and their intelligence? Do you know what they do to you dylan do you have weapons do you know the kind of psychological warfare figure it out if you got chimps like you turn on the news like i wonder how it went today over the battle of uh pittsburgh or whatever the fuck i'm assuming it's pittsburgh for some reason eight billion people it's like oh here's a video of like a chimp like i bet ripping some dude's arm off and just smacking him around with it you're probably in the same camp that you could go back to ancient civilization and win a battle with an ar-15 just one is that something you think about is it like 100 on 100 or because yeah

it's you versus there's a reason why yeah or you versus a thousand there's a reason why like we don't use spears anymore in battle. Yeah, but you're going to get overrun. My whole point is eventually the animals will overrun us. I don't... It's a war of attrition. I don't think so, no. Remember the battle of the bastards?

Yeah. They're just going to throw bodies at us. Sick episode. Okay. All I'm saying is the animals will continue to throw bodies. They have no shame. And they will overtake us you're under arrest you always underestimate birds and that's something i really don't like about you from land air and sea they have fucking talons i'm not i'm not scared of a single bird oh my god dude think about the disease from bird poop eagles fucking you up

i'm not gonna eat hawk you're not gonna eat it but it's gonna poop in your coffee or whatever you're gonna be outside walking stella before she turns on you which is going to happen if i drink bird poop coffee yeah maybe you're also not factoring every single moment of your life you have to keep your head on swivel so do they but i have a gun they don't care y'all are crazy y'all are crazy you know maybe we're crazy but i think something you're not factoring into this whole deal is that dogs are very intelligent and specifically i'm talking about bird dogs very intelligent creatures. Very, very cool company that's back on board.

Bird dogs make you look good. Their stretch khaki shorts are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg, giving you a truly, truly sculpted look. How's your look lately? Is it sculpted? It is. They have the best liner bar none in the clothing industry they are there a lot of competing brands like to constricting mm-hmm these are guys fit just right they leave room for your boys down there but they also keep you in place they dry quickly I swim in mine i can't look at

you right now and not think about like a german short-haired pointer just absolutely wrecking you when the animal uprising comes i'm sorry it's just it's just really dwelling in my brain right now bird dog shorts do the exact same thing as lululemon but but they fit way better they fit better than regular shorts that are made of stiff, restricting cotton. Bird dogs fix that issue by inventing cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get way slimmer fit

without having to sacrifice movement. What are your thoughts on the liner, Dylan? How do you like the bird dogs liner? I just spoke to that. I said they're the best in the industry. Okay. We'll really look in the camera just in case. They're the best.

All right. They're extremely comfortable and I'm typically not a liner guy but these liners i love they're fantastic they use anti-stink sweat wicking fabric that keeps you cool and dry all day long sometimes i'll put on bird dogs and i'll wear them for like 24 hours yeah guess what they got that no stink action sometimes i'll wake up and i'll put them on because they're so comfortable then i'll go work out in them because they're great workout shorts. And then I will go swimming in them because they also are swim trunks. That is versatility.

You're absolutely wild. I know. I did not know you're wild in your older age, but you are, man. You should know that. Go to birddogs.com slash circling for a free Yeti style tumbler with your order. That's birddogs.com slash circling for a free Yeti style tumbler. You don't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. That was a professional read there, David. I got to say, you can criticize me for other parts of the show today. You cannot criticize

me for ad reads. You deserve more of a stake in the company now i i i think i should be majority owner as your lawyer i think at least 34 thank you dan yeah dan i'm so glad you're here today not only because you're just a nice guy but we get to talk thirst traps with you because you're a guy who's had some takes you're a guy who is famously said to me that Finstagram, or Fitness Instagram, I guess. No, Finstagram, I believe. It's 90% lighting. I think it's fake Instagram.

So it's like girls or guys. I'm 38. Posting stuff that they don't want their family or normal friends to see. Dan, you're not afraid to correct me. You're not afraid to hold me to the fire. Don't have accounts like that. No, we don't.

At least we shouldn't. And I want to correct the record as well. I don't think that's my quote. You told me it was 90% lighting. It's like a fitness quote where it's like, I've heard it for sure. It might be a Mazzetti quote. Dan has also mastered the veiled thirst trap. Unintentional thirst trap? Unintentional, but intentional intentional thirst trap that yeah that's a good way of putting it no it's very much intentional it's very much right but the

way you do it in a like a an aw shucks way like a self-deprecating like the guy your caption goes a long way in taking the thirst out of the trap it's a you know randy randy's kind of adopted this playbook i've learned from Dan. It has to have a comedic angle to it for a guy to have a thirst trap. Otherwise, you're a douche. You're a douche regardless. If you have your child in the picture with you,

that's also an exemption card that I have played before. Actually, I did it recently. I've actually adopted a Ukrainian child to do so. Yeah. That's a play out of my playbook. Give us that Affleck, John. Happy Father's Day to Ben Affleck. His wife, Jennifer Lopez.

You guys know J-Lo, right? That's Batman. Jenny from the block. I got to say. He's small. Okay. He's not small, Dan. Dan, he dan he looks phenomenal well have you seen his back tat how do we it's not good it's not good it's hell is ben affleck it's a great question man once he's over his 50s yeah if this is a 50 year old man dan you cannot hate on this dude's figure what if i told you that was a 50 year old man dan i've seen much

bigger 50 year old man okay lifetime you my lifetime. Okay. You go to Lifetime right now, there's some dudes who are on about six grand a month. HGH. Oh, and Ben's not. D-Ball. We're not saying he's the most jacked 50-year-old in the world. We're saying he looks good for 50 and he does. He does yo-yo. He kind of lava laps. How do you compare

this thirst trap? The vicarious, your wife posts it for you, but on your behalf. Because, I mean, look, he clearly wanted this out there. It kind of looks like a leak from the Fappanen. Very Justin Verlander-ish. This is something he sent his wife. I don't know.

I didn't watch. I didn't look at those. It's unethical. This is something he sent his wife, not expecting her to post it. Oh, yeah. He's like, hey, babe, look at this. I feel like him and J-Lo have a relationship that's more business than romantic and anything you send to her she will use his content when did you're giving her the right when did he become kind of like a guy whose face was always

just funny like in every photo you see of him now it's like he's just kind of got this look miserable i think it's completely beaten down dropping the donuts and the coffee at dunk you think that was the moment? Yeah. Look, he's never going to be in better shape than this. This is probably the best he's ever felt. And he still doesn't know how to handle it. He does look good. He looks good. Given

his age. What percentage of this is attributed to the lighting? I would like to look like that at 50. Well, the key to actually looking bigger is to just wear shoulders. Shoulders are the most important. Everyone thinks it's chest. It's not. Broad.

Yeah. Look good in a t-shirt with big shoulders too. Shoulders. My shoulders won't grow, Dan. Keep going heavier. He's actually cutting. Dylan's down to like 168 or something. No.

You got a big fight coming up? I'm down. I'm like 182, 183. Okay, so you're fighting like 170 uh little welterweight sure i've been 170 since i was 13 years old but yeah i've thought about doing it just why not like just to see what would happen if i cut down like 170 185 oh i thought you meant like taking a fight do that too don't do that don't do that you get hurt yeah i know i mean because i have a lot of

friends that fight you got her playing softball yeah so that's what i mean i mean i think i think dan's better suited for the cage than the diamond at this age yeah whoever whoever stated it recently was was pretty perfect when they said that dan's built for the weight room he's a weight room guy he's complimentary he's big he's a big dude I'm an athlete you're barrel-chested you think about what you would have been had your leg been attached correctly I know I did this with us just two degrees with a club a club foot essentially well John wrong John wrong foot and a donk we have many things in common. A donk? Oh, a donk. Big donk.

Okay. We're talking donks or something. I imagine Rom has a solid piece on him as well. You got to think so. Spanish. You got to. That short backswing. If he was insecure, he would extend it, you know,

try to get it to parallel, but he's not. He's just walking around with a big swing and D. Right. In theory. Very cool. parallel but he's not because he's walking around the big swing and d right in theory um very cool if i send this to my my girlfriend's girlfriend slash wife oh no don't post it i wouldn't want her to post that because then then people know that i take mirror selfies did he take this oh yeah yeah okay but i feel like if she exposes you rather than you doing it yourself, it's not on you. It's on her.

And it's a reflection of who she is as a human. And really, no blame is shifted your way. Dan just unlocked a new way to thirst trap, a guilt-free way to thirst trap. He's going to take advantage. Yeah. For sure. Like, be – as long as you're not directly posting it babe so it's kind of like a proxy it's a proxy post hey don't post me looking hot it's like um

it's going through a third party yeah yeah yeah it's like when you're you're you're you're funding the uh central american uh guerrillas to overthrow the leftist government. It's not us. Oh, no. Maybe providing weapons to a proxy war over in Europe. Geopolitics, Dillon. People love it. Check us out at the Addison Improv next week. Dan, where can we find you?

You can find me in Austin, Texas. Okay. You want to plug anything? No, Twitter. I don't have a Twitter really. I deleted all my tweets. Why? Twitter sucks. Like it's just. Oh, 100% woke free.

It's not that. It's just like I hate everything I see on it. And it's just people that don't know or follow. Okay. And I'm tired of it. I know there's a following tab, but it just, I'm kind of over it. Okay. So like pretend there's a place to follow you.

Where might that be? Softcore History. Okay. That's Softcore History on Instagram. It's on iTunes, Apple, wherever you find podcasts. Got about 150 episodes in the catalog. And then we have a Patreon, patreon.com slash softcorehistory for extra episodes. Two every week.

And yeah, man, it's evergreen content. Nothing's timely, so you can go back, just run through the whole catalog. It's a good time. Dylan, where can we find you? Oh, wow. At Dshivery, Instagram, Twitter. Check me out. Four Es, non-consecutive.

Dan, thanks for hopping on the pod, man. Thanks for having me. Dave, what about you? Always a pleasure. At DCRuff on Instagram, at DCarterRuff on Twitter, and Snap, and on the Too Much Dip podcast. I do want at least $50,000 despite RFK not showing up. Okay.

We for sure have that. Yeah. We'll get it to you. You're going to finally get your big break on and get on Rogan. And now RFK is not even going to show up to debate you. What a bummer. And as long as I get on, get my type 5 at Mothership. Yeah.

Have you been? Not not yet i have a bunch of friends that do stand up there though nice they said it's a good thing it's a good good time yeah good setup looks like a good good spot check it out one day we'll see you on we'll see you tomorrow behind the paywall we'll see you wednesday back right here thursday friday love island pod dropping this week bye-bye you just got Back right here. Thursday, Friday. Love Island pod dropping this week. Bye-bye. You just got some. RIP Big Pokey. Outro Music