Circling Back - Let's Get Dillon Married

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

Final episode before Dillon’s big day. Dave presents us a unique business opportunity, a golf course fight in Florida that leaves one dude with a bullet wound in his leg, a woman who dropped her phone porte-potty, and wedding predictions ahead of Sunday’s nups. Oh, and This Weekend in Fun, too. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:20) Dave has a unique business opportunity (24:10) Are you interested in this motion picture? (38:20) Golf Course Fight! (46:00) Worst Of: Dropped Phone (57:30) Dillon’s Wedding Predictions (1:07:03) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Mizzen and Main: www.mizzenandmain.com (CIRCLING35 for $35 off) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (STEAM for 20% off) Framebridge: www.framebridge.com (STEAM for 15% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the people cave presented by busy hard seltzer the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my left, David Ruff. Man, I hate to start off on a negative, but I got some bad news. Elon's at it again. He's just acquired Peach. Really?

What was the price tag? Where'd that set him back? Some serious dollar i have some elon news what he officially has one less twitter follower wow and it's your boy you you you quit on him i don't i'm not a big fan of his twitter strategy right now and with the amount that he's in the news cycle i just deemed it necessary to just take a break from it for a moment. He does pander to like the cool internet dorks.

He's pandering right now. You need to do the thing where you screen record you unfollowing him and then posting it so people know. No, that's when you show everyone the muted words that you have to show that you're too cool to be a part of something that other people like. Oh, it's over Game of Thrones. That would be, that was the popular one i did mute every character name on game of thrones but it wasn't because i didn't it wasn't because i was anti people watching it i was anti me getting a bunch of spoilers on the tl for the final season that's probably a really good strategy spoilers don't matter if you never watch the show will

well let's say like i don know, someone whose name I know, like Jon Snow or something. Like, let's say that he has, like, some crazy death or something. That's all over the TL, and then I'm sitting there like, well, I obviously know who he is, and now I know that he dies in season six, part two.

Can I spoil it for you? Honestly, spoil me, Daddy. Well, he dies, but then he gets brought back to life. Well, you're leaving out... Wake me up inside can't wake up bitch what what what am i leaving you're leaving out one key detail i'm not gonna spoil the whole damn thing he dies after a crazy game of poker was he at a dothraki wedding no but that's in the high rollers room that is a fantastic sadly he does not get to interact with

the dothraki he gets killed by his own peeps nice day for a red wedding it was a bloody crime event in the show but yeah i think they should do a bloody crime scene i think they should have made did anyone say that during that i know they have british accents yeah they they don't they don't no oh they have dothraki accents no they don't the dothrakis do though you know what let's just we don't. The Dothrakis do, though. You know what? We don't have to talk about it anymore. We can just move on to some other cool shit.

That last season left a little bit to be desired. Yeah, Bran. Get out of here, Bran. Bran! That ain't your seat, dog. The throne. Well, that's a mega spoiler. Can I just ask an honest question for you guys?

Yeah, I can't promise you an honest answer. Is Game of Thrones in your top five shows all time? No. Okay. But it was a lot of fun. I mean, it was a lot of fun. I have a part two to this question. I have a part two to this question. It is, even in the last season.

Okay, then my second part of the question is only for Dylan. Did the final season affect your standing? Would it have been top five without the final season it would have been top uh three prop top three to four probably yeah okay the last season was honestly just trash frankly the first four to five seasons were so good that they could have just laid a literal turd they kind of laid a turd and it wouldn't have affected the standing all time there was so much hype around the last season because the show was like flirting with goat status it's like all right how are they going to wrap this bad boy up and they just fumbled the

ball well the reason i asked was because like i don't think without the final season going so well for breaking bad i don't think it would be my favorite show of all time but because they did such a good job wrapping up all the loose ends it now is my favorite show of all time because i know that i can i can ride with that final season so i was just wondering how they how if it actually affected you jesse i feel dude he just wanted to get a new car i made a quiche jesse made a quiche, Jesse. Made a quiche. It'd be funny if they were cooking something other than that, you know? Yeah, what if they just had like,

what if they were just doing like the entirety of Julia Child's like cookbook? Like banana nut bread or something? Yeah, that'd be sick. What if they did a cooking show from the, that, dude, I could see that being like a brand activation. Well, they already have a tequila. Yeah, but couldn't you see them doing a cooking show from the old RV? Just being like yeah this is i would probably watch

i cook with almond flour jesse it's gluten friendly cassava uh i'm ready for my intro uh okay we just hit the five minute mark which means we can officially intro dylan shivery to the podcast, I'm very happy to be here. The vibes are on point. I'm getting married in a few days. Oh, fuck. That's exciting. This is a big This Weekend in Fun.

More on that in a fun. How did we not talk? I feel like we need to add a segment today where we just do wedding predictions. You want to do wedding predictions? Yeah. Yeah. I'm adding it. I'm adding it to the rundown.

The vibes are right. This coffee is absolutely booming today. The Nespresso machine. It's not that funny. The Nespresso machine. It's great. It makes a good cup of coffee. Man.

I'm in love with Nespresso. I'm sorry. You know I had to fit that in. Dude, you are so good at this. I know. I know. You promised you wouldn't do it. I'm in love You know I had to fit that in. You are so good at this. I know. I know. You promised you wouldn't do it. I'm in love with the stripper.

It's like that tune, but I changed a stripper to Nespresso. Do you think if we told an Uber driver. I'm in love with Nespresso. If you told an Uber driver that you're a podcaster for a living and then he walked into the studio today and saw the first five minutes of this episode, do you think he would take it seriously? He'd be like, y'all have like rich dads with trust funds. like y'all don't actually make money doing this yeah yeah you can't afford a nespresso machine with the money that comes in from this podcast i like i like meeting someone i'm you know i'm pretty introverted so i'm not like super quiet like in an uber or whatever and like what do you do like um podcaster oh you gotta lie it's like dude how do

you not have a go-to you must be really good at your job i just say i just laugh and sing really poorly i say i'm part owner of a small media company and that usually that usually bores them at this point yeah i say very small yeah yeah like i i try to diminish everything yeah because i don't want follow-up questions exactly that's the whole point well then i got a guy who i got an uber driver once whose uh day job was doing like programmatic advertising and he started going into it with me and i was like oh man this is not the conversation i want to have on the way to my italian meal advertising that's a term i wish i would never hear again there's been two occasions where i've basically explained what we do and the guy ended up giving me a business card because he was like a videographer or something oh we're kind of

in the market for a new video guy it was it wasn't really what we were looking for but you know what i kept it on i was like hey man we're not hiring right now but i'll keep this on file just in case is it in your filing cabinet it's in my filing cabinet you guys laughed at but i've got business cards in there if you give me your business card i will take a photo of it i will immediately throw it away and then i'll forget that the photo exists i'm not happy about business cards are on the way out right or no dude qr codes digital world 10 000 so qr codes are the wave you ordered 10 000 for the company i didn't know they made business cards sponsor sponsor alert they could if they wanted to that's how good they are anyway maya culpa by me i was not sold on an

espresso and and it is really it yeah it makes good coffee wait would you say you're in love with it no i'll leave that to you it's my my culpo she related to olivia you you really you're just on one right now and you're not you are the most yeah you're in love with an espresso you worked out this morning oh you wanna hear about my workout dude dude i can't wait for this wedding to be over just so i can stop hearing about your workouts i went mega hard this morning all right you ready i did you woke up i did an hour of lifting, which included shoulders and core. Just went like super, like dummy hard. Core's not really lifting.

Okay, well, I did it. Okay, I did a core exercise after my lifting. Just shut up. I'm just trying to be like. An hour's worth of that. You worked your trunk out. And then guess what I did? I went over to the stair climber and I did 140 floors and I did it in high intensity intervals.

You hear about this H-I-I-T training? I did that, 40 minutes of that, and I burned, I think, 460 active calories doing that. I brought an extra shirt because I knew I would just like soak through my first one. And I did. I soaked it. Wait. Oh. Just after you showered, you put on a shirt?

I don't understand. Do you change shirts mid-workout? No. I drove home in my shirt that I changed into, and I showered at home. You showered? You changed in a shirt just to go home? Yeah. Or else I would have just soaked my seat of my car.

Okay. You know what I mean? You don't know about this because you work out like an old bag of bones. You're doing like calisthenics for like 15 minutes. I work for the military. I support them. You're like. Do you not support what they're working out?

You leave there, your heart rate. It peaks at like 112. I'm up here like 168. Just put in work. 112. Peaches and cream. Peaches and cream. Dude, Dave, stop bringing up songs. Yeah, you're right.

It's just ruining everything. Anyway. People aren't talking enough about this, but yeah, I can confirm that I've been going shirtless on the Peloton lately. Marty, I've already burned over a thousand active pounds. this but yeah i can confirm that i've been going shirtless on the peloton lately marty over it i've already burned over a thousand sometimes i even take my shirt and i take it off mid peloton ride and then i twist it around my head and i spin it like a helicopter i showed i showed bae my shirt that i wore and she was like why didn't you just take your shirt off i was like you what do you

what kind of gym do you work out in sometimes i'll take my shirt and then i'll ball it up and I'll put it in my mouth and I'll scream as loud as I can and it'll muffle it. That's disgusting. That makes me, the thought of a shirt in the mouth. That's disgusting. It's how I get my emotional baggage out. You should choose a different method. That's just really weird and gross. Dave, come work out with me, man.

No. Yeah, you couldn't. That was so mean. I mean, dude, I don't think I could because, I mean, you're changing shirts just to drive home. That's a level of sweatiness I don't think I've ever reached. Sweat boy. Sweat boy season. That's crazy.

Yeah. At least you showered this time before coming in. I appreciate that. Thank you. I smell quite nice. Anyway, enough about me. Unless you want to keep going about me. We can do that too.

It was a great start to the pod. You think so? I think it was a good 10 minutes. Okay. 11. I feel like we've really framed this episode up to be really good. Oh, wow. Randy, no? A bridge too far. Randy thinks i'm thumbnail chasing right now he's segued into the

we actually have a major announcement we actually have a major announcement tomorrow we're doing something different you guys know happy hour lives usually happen around 7 p.m i have to say 7 p.m is not happy hour that's just cocktail hour for you for everybody tomorrow we're doing a true happy hour 3 p.m central standard time live for everybody. Tomorrow, we're doing a true happy hour. 3 p.m. Central Standard Time live from the People Cave. We'll be doing our first happy hour live. 3 p.m. tomorrow, youtube.com slash watch media. Go like, go subscribe.

Make it happen. Hey, People Cave about to be lit. Question, are we going to do it right here or maybe show off other parts? You know what, Dylan? We got some logistics for this that we got to work out. Maybe behind the scenes for the folks at home. I feel like that was a pretty normal, standard question. We're going to do it from the bathroom.

No. Our bathroom is very nice. It's too echoey in there. We don't want to do that. Yeah, bad sound. Let me tell you guys about an amazing new service I found called FrameBridge. FrameBridge makes it super easy and affordable to frame your favorite things from art prints to posters to travel photos sitting on your phone.

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But you have something here from FrameBridge, right? I do. I got the cover of the Sunday Scaries podcast framed. That's right. I hit him with that gold frame because I'm bougie. Right. Well, it's not real gold. Yeah.

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Frame your photos or send someone the perfect gift. Go to framebridge.com and use promo code STEAM to save an additional 15% off your first order. Again, just go to framebridge.com, promo code STEAM. Framebridge.com, promo code STEAM. Dave, here's the rock. I have a unique business opportunity I'd like to discuss with you two

I don't know if I trust you as a businessman really we're partners oh yeah I only have one partner he's my son he's doing that movie he watched it with the oil with the oil and the milkshake

I might run it back that might be my pregame movie before Dylan's wedding. The movie's fine. Dude, I'm going to bring a portable DVD player to the hotel room before the wedding. We'll all sit around it, and we'll put it on the coffee table, and we'll just vibe out to There Will Be Blood. That movie's just fine. There's not enough intrigue and drama. You probably wouldn't have watched before the Red Wedding.

There's not enough drama? There's not enough drama. Dude, peeps be dying. People die, man. he's an oil man he's a michael bay guy he needs more explosions and car crashes which is fine i'm not saying anything wrong with that i enjoy those michael bay guy how long until there's just like a straight up award ceremony just for oscar or just for marvel movies oh like is there ever gonna just give me an awards ceremony for the Marvel Universe and the Marvel Universe alone? I feel like they don't ever win the other awards, so they probably should do their own thing.

Dude, that's just the hoity-toity Hollywood types just X-ing them out. Randy, you could give out some awards on your new upcoming podcast. The Cinematic Universe of Marvel. I'm trying to boss, now I'm trying to come. marvel known to some has come no we get it man i've got a unique business opportunity i'd like to pitch you guys i'm all ears what might want to get that checked out before the wedding dog this would make a great wedding gift or mother's Day gift. Okay. Do you guys participate in NFTs?

I think they're pretty nifty. Not frat tokens? No, thanks. I'm sorry. No, I don't. I'm not currently invested in any NFTs, Dave, but I'm willing to listen. Brett has an NFT. Kind of.

It's a Serge Ibaka dunk. Super rare. Serge Ibaka dunk. Super rare. Serge Ibaka. It's a bounce pass. No, it's a dunk. He's got a Patty Mills bounce pass. It's sick. It's not a Patty Mills bounce pass.

Is there a Steve Wojciechowski bounce pass from Duke in like 1993? Because I'll buy that one. That would be pretty sick. Wojo. Dave, what is the business opportunity? Randy, are you guys familiar with Laramie Tunsil? You guys know him infamously? Mm-hmm.

Well, he is now getting into the NFT game. He's officially moved on, he says on Twitter. I'm officially moving on and putting this moment in the past. Of course, the moment is the infamous gas mask photo that got leaked uh on draft night that caused him to slide to 13 it was never good if your gas mask is leaking that's not a good sign he's minting a one-of-one nft of the infamous gas mask video to be listed a portion of the proceeds will benefit the last prisoner project very cool which supports those incarcerated for cannabis offenses that's pot okay he's put it to good use he's nft and the gas mask thing this is great this is the

best sports nft the video that was leaked right before the draft like then like mel kuyper is like about to do the first pick or whatever well mel kuyper doesn't make the pick you know what i mean yeah his big board right and and then all of a sudden like oh wait a minute what's this and then they just showed it that's pretty funny man i like this it's not gonna work making fun of himself while also contributing to a good cause it's a non-fungible token is it fun or funge there's nothing fun about it fung it's funge how much is this gonna go for you gotta think thousand bucks 50 bucks didn't the nft market crash yeah i mean didn't didn't it wasn't the big thing that twitter jack

tried to sell his like first ever tweet on twitter as an nft and he tried to sell it for like six figures and now it's worth two hundred dollars now it's time to buy your ser Ibaka NFT. No, I think it was like seven plus figs. Yeah, I mean. It went for like 100 bucks. That's all I need to know about investing in NFTs right now. Like if Jack from Twitter, who's also just heavily involved in like a lot of NFT stuff, if he can't get his first tweet off the ground and make that successful, why would I fuck around? I'm a total non-believer in in the nft movement i hate i'm sorry for those who are into it dude i hope you make money i just i can't get behind it brett

just hit me up on slack he just bought a fred van vliet nft is it is it like a 12-foot jumper it's just him bringing up the ball he's bringing it up court unguarded brett put in a bid for that gary trent jr one we were talking about earlier oh man well good for laramie tonsil that's kind of cool i forgot that even that's one of those things that i forgot completely uh he overcame it he's having a nice career as a texan now he's a starter he's a good player wasn't i mean i mean it's hard to be good in first round grade how much did it affect his draft stock i've been wondering that too 13 oh it's fine i don't know if he was he slid top five he slid six spots you know it's still it's it's funny how big of a deal that was it's also funny that people use gas masks for uh

they can't just consume it normally. They have to trick it up and go gas mask on them. Yeah. Have you ever gas masked your dope? No. Well, my weed is so sticky that I just, I'll just burn it normally. I'll hit you with a J or like.

What's a joint? Just use a little pipe. Can we do a video where Dylan rolls a joint? I tried one time. Yeah. I think we should video it and see how that thing turns out. It was unsmokable. Unsmokable Dylan shivery.

That's when we found out you're from Tishomingo, Oklahoma. Bitch. I don't – What? No. No. Yeah. He is rattled right now.

Dude, no comeback. I just used a zigzag. I didn't even want to like. There's some of the, you can like stuff and then twist the end. Dude, you are from Trey Wingo, Oklahoma. This was just like a straight up zigzag. Is he the guy that tweets the lyrics? It didn't work.

No, dude. That's Bucci. Jay Billis. Oh, fuck. Other guy. Jay Billis, dude. We need to cancel him. Who did we have on Happy Hour Live?

Time to go to work. Yeah. I'm going to cancel him for those tweets. Was it Bucci that we had on the pod? Bucci, man. Yeah. And my mic went off and he just dunked on me. Oh, this guy. Sorry, guy. I can't hear you. I mean, we really showed our maturity during that Bucci interview when he said the word nice piece

and we all couldn't stop laughing. Yeah, we're children who's who's succeeding coach k i don't know that's a question that i never thought about until right now that's going to be a very very lucrative nft dude i think wojo should do it stop i'm on wojo's uh wikipedia right now you're in wojo watch yeah why are you on his wikipedia because dude because you want that in it he draws dimes dude he's got the wettest bounce pass in the game he was a solid little point guard oh john shire i guess

it's they're replacing uh coach k with the dude from uh two and a half men what john shire right here yeah Yeah, I don't know who that is. Tiger Blood. Charlie Sheen? Is that his name in the show? No, there's John... Oh, John Cryer. My bad. It's the other guy. The dorky dude.

What if Charlie Sheen was like the Matthew McConaughey of Duke Athletics? He was just pumping them up in the locker room every day. Winning. Dude, is he... You don't hear much from him anymore that's probably by design is he okay no dave too much the last we heard from him he was very much not okay tiger blood caught up to it turns out uh having a blood tiger he redefined the term of flying directly into the sun and he did it wearing bowling shirts only he had no swag man he shopped

at that store that we found at the dallas meetup where they had like the martini print shirt and stuff like that's the only place that the dude from two and a half men shopped no swag someone's gonna be someone on red it's gonna be like yeah they might as well call a podcast two and a half men will such a beta fucking cock. That's fair. Why do you do that to yourself? Why'd you gift them that? Y'all could have that one.

It's called controlling the narrative. You gotta get ahead of it, dude. It's all about self-awareness. People have reached out to us for wash media NFTs. We probably could have done one at some point and made a decent amount on it. But honestly, it never felt right to me to do. It doesn't at all.

I'd rather create our own crypto. No. Why? What would you call it, dude? I'm about to hop off the blockchain completely. I'm about to believe it. Are you going to sell out? Not this guy, Diamond Hands.

Not right now, man. You see this Bitcoin price? No, I haven't looked at it in months. I'm buying the NFT dip and the Bitcoin dip. Have fun, man. Well, I will. I'm going to buy you out. Once it hits big, I'm'm gonna buy you out of the

company really yeah i'm gonna kick you to the fucking curb i'm gonna tell you to get lost scram skedaddle damn nobody wants you around here no more dorn i don't want to be around we don't like your kind i'm gonna i'm gonna bring i'm gonna buy you out but i'm gonna rehire you just to run the forums okay that sounds like a good gig director of forums what's this motion picture it's a movie we're gonna bring wow this next segment's gonna be a movie we're bringing back the stream room since it did so well dude i i think we're underrating like the stream room it was like five people in the survey were like, yeah, stream room could have done without. 17 people really enjoyed the stream room.

No, it's like when we talk about old segments that we did and the amount of people that have brought up, oh, bring back No Offense, but I always loved that segment. I'm like, we did it once and it didn't really hit that well. We did it literally exactly one time. I thought it was... You know what segment I thought was going to have more legs than it did? Fax Machine? No. Fax Machine got some of the worst feedback i've ever seen it was wasn't

yeah we didn't really take it seriously yeah some of us we just make like very obvious comments and follow it up with yeah oh you thought it was gonna be a yeah mainstay? How many weeks in a row could we get away with doing that? That was fun, man. Good shit. I'm going to read you a little synopsis of a film. And I want you to tell me at what point you're in or out. Carol falls in love with Steven. Without knowing much about him.

Tale old as time. Some might call it love at first sight i'm ad-libbing here that's not part of the synopsis i'll go back to this time when carol finds herself pregnant it forces steven to expose a secret oh twins they were having intercourse if she got pregnant they're doing some fucking dave okay steven happens to be the only average size person in a family of dwarfs including his twin brother rolf starring matthew mcconaughey hit the trailer randy tiptoes 2003 like kate beckinsale as well. Who is... Well. Well! Who is very beautiful to me.

Is that really Kate Beckinsale? Yeah. How did... She's gorge. I didn't know this movie existed. I don't think any of us knew. KJ was in here Monday. And was like, oh yeah, reminds me of that movie. Like, what movie?

And then he played this for us. We're going to just go ahead and play the full two minutes. Because the fact that this was made and not only it has an A-list cast is shocking his life together was perfect i've gotta get going right the second hey baby hey sweetie i love you there's one small problem i'm wrong i'm your brother we're twins your parents? Yeah. It can tear them apart. I think you're going to let me know that everyone in your family is a midget. They're not midgets, Carol. Dwarfs.

Whatever. Or bring them together. Hey, welcome. I'm Steven. Oh, there you are. Brandy, keep plodding. His father, Bruno, and his mom, Kathleen. And over behind him.

Where in his career was Matthew McConaughey in 2003? I feel like he should have been in a really good spot. If this was 1999, I'd be like, okay, I get it. He's still finding his way out of Dazed and Confused, whatever. This feels way too late in the McConaughey era. It's called what it's called, Dave. The McConaissance. The McConaissance. too late in the mcconaughey era it's called what it's called dave the mcconaissance the mcconaissance uh you want to give me a guess on the rotten tomatoes no 28 20 so he he really got bailed out from this movie by being in how to lose a guy in 10 days the following year

like that that is impressive for him thanks to that movie people forgot about this one yeah like this was this was the 10 things or no i'm sorry uh how to lose a guy in 10 days is like the ultimate chaser for a bad shot which was tiptoes the premise of this movie is someone sat in a room and was like you know what got it so what is it what is what's the what are they trying to do in this movie he his entire family is little people he is like the you know he is the anomaly he's the outlier in the family okay little person and he's just a beautiful man in the family and this is they're they're portraying this as being some kind of like big issue she i think because she's pregnant she's like i wonder if i'm going i'm going to give birth to a dwarf oh so it's just wondering that the

entire time and then the rest of the movie is just her meeting like his entire family his extended family and they're all uh little people and this is offensive yeah not to be like woke beta guy but like that shouldn't be like the like you should just be worried about having a kid that's healthy like like chill out dog i don't know man she thought she was just gonna get away with some uh some of that you know what with mcconaughey with this hot guy and then the rest of the movie is just her looking like a total asshole yeah so my my uh my cousin is a doctor and she was doing her residency in northern Michigan when I was in like middle school. And we've got a lot of small little towns in northern Michigan that you don't really, you know, you don't really do much in them. You don't really travel to them. You don't really go there.

And my dad told my cousin who was unfamiliar with the area that there was a dwarf colony about 20 minutes from where we were in a different city. And so my dad kind of like did a little breadcrumbs, like kind of made comments about it for a few weeks. And then after about a month, my cousin was talking to a patient of hers and they said, oh, well, I'm from this place. And she goes, oh, so you're familiar with the dwarf colony over there. And the dwarf colony does not exist. Oh, he made it up. And my dad just completely schemed this for like a month before it finally paid off. And she looked like an absolute idiot in front of not only her patient, but the other doctor that she was trying to impress. I think there is a dwarf colony.

Colony might not be the right word. Community. Probably better. In like California somewhere. I've heard tales of this i'd never confirmed it logistically wouldn't that kind of make sense like wouldn't it be better to have an apartment that had like you know things that are more accessible to someone who's shorter yeah this makes sense to me i'm gonna look into this the movie is called tiptoes if i'm wrong i'm really sorry dude we

should start like a frat colony where like we just like go hang out and like cash tags and stuff that was greek row dude that was basically greek row dude what if we just did an apartment complex that you had to like get rushed into and so like we only had top tier dudes from austin there's the ex3 hey can i read you a couple critic reviews from this one is from lisa a top critic uh it says despite despite bracingly a bracingly peculiar premise and an astonishingly fine performance from gary oldman this picture is an honorable failure honorable this is i don't know if honorable is the way to describe this failure there's no honor in this one um i'm going to... Hold on. This is interesting. I'm looking at the movie info.

Director, Matthew Bright. Producer, Fernando Solikin. Chris Hanley. Writer, Bill Weiner. Bill Weiner. Why do I know that name, Weiner? It's actually pronounced Weiner. He's related to Anthony.

Anthony's brother. And also uncle to our dear friend. I wish that son of a bitch and his taco bar were here right now so i could accuse him of having a a writer uncle who who wrote tiptoes who star appropriates little people tiptoes it's called tiptoes it's so mean who's more embarrassed of their movie uh matthew mcconaughey and tiptoes or Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon was stuck on you. Stuck on you is one of the most awful pieces of trash.

I kind of want to give it the benefit of the doubt just because I like Matt Damon and I like Greg Kinnear, but I just refuse to ever see it because I can't believe that they did a movie. That's stupid. You won't be able to sit through it. It's it's so, it's so bad.

I can't fathom that. Those two both had very good careers at that time like they're damon it's matt fucking damon and like greg kinnear i don't know when it came out but like he has had some very good roles albeit they might not like get him a lot of fame for those but i mean he's a good actor and they were like you know what let's do this movie where we have to get like stuck to each other the entire time much more surprising that damon would do that movie than gregnear, though. This might be a soft take,

but I don't think I'm doing any movie that requires me to be one of those people that sits there for six hours of makeup before shooting every day. I don't want to deal with that. You know I turned down a role in Human Centipede, right? Which one were you going to be? I couldn't stay in that position

because my knees were blown out. I was going to be the middle. Jeez, what are you doing? I was going to do it, but my neck and my back were kind of sore from what from the never mind from the centipeding from working out with dylan yeah i was trying to get in really good shape for human centipede too they did make a human centipede too people shut up really pretty sure there's a sequel i've not seen that one i turned down a role in that too yikes like what like what's what happens in human centipede 2 like they just make it longer

like bigger longer and uncut i just don't i don't understand the need for that can i read you can i read you some some synopsis yeah what's the rotten tomatoes on human centipede 2 oh that's way too long of a plot but in the toll booth of a parking garage in east london martin lomax is watching the human centipede on his laptop a film he's obsessed with complete with his own scrapbook composed okay so this is this is so meta it's oh my god matt damon's in there yeah who's who's the star of human centipede 2 oh you know some household names such as deter laser you can't come like career-wise you can't come back from like being in that movie right lawrence harvey i'll be on actually oh deter lasers in the first one he's

the original centipede doctor who plays who plays the head of the centipede so do you actually get your lips sewn to the butt is that what happens in him you you're the only person in this room that i think has seen the movie in completion dave do they actually sew the lips to the butt i thought you watched it i thought that's that's the whole like the whole point of the centipede no i did i did complete the movie. Yeah, no, it's just there's really not. You're wondering what the payoff for the doctor who came up with this whole thing is. There's really not one other than like, look what I did.

Voila. What a bizarre idea for a movie. And for somehow, some reason it was made. I mean, I'm sure there's more fucked up movies out there. And this one just like kind of got propelled up there but like who i there were people that were sitting in a conference room in los angeles who said you know what let's green light this someone put money behind let's green light this like i'll give you a rotten tomatoes for hc2 29 better than better 29%. Better than tiptoes. Audience score, 23%. You never want the audience score to be lower than the critics' score.

Is that the ratio? Yeah, it's just tough. Maybe we could do a tomato fights with brunch where we talk human centipede. You know it's Gyllenhaal week. It is Gyllenhaal week. It is Gyllenhaal week. It's five days of Jake. Gyllenhaal week. It is Gyllenhaal week. It's a whole, it's five days of Jake. Gyllenhaal.

Just Jake. They're doing the other Gyllenhaals too? Maggie? Yeah. Not sure. Just missed a call from our project manager. Should we do Maggie Gyllenhaal week and just go against brunch? Not the studio build out.

What's your catalog look like outside of Batman? I don't know. I didn't even know she was in Batman. What? She's the love interest. She was in Crazy Heart. The Kindergarten Teacher. Stranger Than Fiction.

Where are the drugs? I mean, wow. Where are the drugs? Where are the drugs? Wow. Yeah, she was in The Dark Knight. That's my Batman. Is that like Batman if he was in the DEA? No, that's Batman if he was Dillon at Dirty Bill.

I think that's a straight up line from the movie. Where is it? Where are the drugs? He's not looking for the drugs. What are they looking for? The Joker? Where's the Joker? Where is Joker? Where's the Joker? Where is he?

Where's the Joker? Batman's not out there looking to narc. Yeah. Honestly, Christian Bale's Batman voice was so bad, it distracted me during the whole movie. Where's the pod? Where is it? Where are the early bird gummies? I'm having trouble sleeping? Where is it? Where are the early bird gummies? I'm having trouble sleeping.

Where is it? Dave, you can actually get the early bird gummies at earlybirdcbd.com. You're probably familiar with early bird CBD gummies at this point because we're such stands of them. Actually, we're a little low in the studio right now, and I can see you guys just kind of like twitching. You're like, I need more. Give me more. I've got to say. Where's the early bird CBD?

I'm obsessed with them at this point. Yes, they will be given to the adults as party favors at Fritz's first birthday party. So if you guys are in need, you can get some sample packs there. I'm absolutely going to use it. You're passing out THC at your son's birthday party. Legal. It's legal. Okay.

It's legal. This was a Sally initiative, and I'm very excited about it. I wasn't going to go, but now I think I might. Yeah. Dylan already did the move of being like, hey, man, gonna be real quick at the party i'm like dylan you don't tell people that you just do it dude you're the party is like 19 hours before my wedding like i'm sorry i have a lot of stuff going on for all the people wondering what early bird cbd gummies are created with it's about two and a half milligrams of natural thc and about 12 and a

half milligrams of cbd in each gummy these are formulated for fun and to make you feel good maybe you're going to you know take a little swim in the river hang out a little bit get a little lifted who knows maybe you're about to settle in and play some uh call of duty on your couch dylan maybe you're about to get married and speak in front of a bunch of people and you're a little bit nervous and you want to just maybe hit the chill button a little bit head over to earlybirdcbd.com mash that promo code steam and get 20 off of everything in your basket this is a single use code which means you gotta load that cart baby load that cart sung to the tune of uh devo earlybirdcbd.com promo code steam don't like that one can i talk to you guys real quick about

something that uh always kind of gets me a little excited a golf course fight oh what happened well dylan funny you ask there's no video of this i think it's better that way because those fights they're not good this This is bad, though. Oh, no. Yeah. I don't like it. A 74-year-old Florida man shoots a guy in an ankle and beats him with a golf club for walking his dog on Delray Beach golf course. That's an angry old bag of bones there.

Can I ask you a question? Beating the shit out of noobs is how I stay young. Ask the question. Is the dog okay? I haven't checked on the dog maybe i should have done that before bringing this he didn't harm the dog it says uh so 74 year old robert levine is under arrest for attempted first degree murder for shooting 64 year old herbert merritt in the ankle after he found merit walking his dog along the 15th hole of kings point golf club

before 7 p.m on sunday merit told deputies he was walking his dog on the 15th hole of Kings Point Golf Club before 7 p.m. on Sunday. Merritt told deputies he was walking his dog on the grass next to the golf course when Levine rode up in his golf cart and began causing a verbal altercation with him due to having a dog on the course. He then began shooting at him while Merritt was running away. Think about this. The dude packed his Thule in his golf bag. Yeah, he comes strapped. He just keeps a Thule in there in case, I don't know.

He packs that thing, too. But to pull the Thule out. You know how people call range finders, like, gun sometimes? Like, what if I was like, hey, toss me the gun, and you just threw me a Thule? He throws you, yeah, he throws you a. Don't toss guns on the golf course. Then I just start shooting the pin. He throws you Dave's 1912.

Hey, can you shoot the pin for me? And Dylan's just got a sideways Glock just unloading. Dave pulls out his 1932 Smith and Wesson six shooter, whatever it is. What do you have, Dave? It's that old hear you, hear you, hear you, hear you. What? It's just an old school gun. It said witnesses told deputies that they saw Levine kick Merritt in the head,

go back to his cart and get a club and begin beating him with the golf club while holding the gun with his left hand. Was it a Tommy gun? Like, what are you doing? It probably wasn't a Tommy gun. What are the chances that there's more at play right now than just, like, walking your dog on the golf course? Like, do we think that one of these guys was piping the other one's wife?

In my golf bag, you'll find, like, some golf balls, some tees, you know, maybe, like like some old sunflower seeds i put in there eight months ago i forgot about uh there's no tule in my golf bag i don't i don't keep a weapon on me you know what i mean why would you tell people that now you're just you're just a mark now wait he beat him with the golf club after he shot yes the shot was not enough yeah so it says that he was sent to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries but like dude i feel like if you're if you're above the age of 60 and you're getting stray bullets in a golf club to the head like like i feel like any injury after after 65 is life-threatening might i suggest this guy has some anger issues

yeah i'd say so hey he probably wasn't hitting it too well that that day. Does this scare you a little bit for like hitting into somebody if they're beating a dickhead in front of you? What if he was flirting with the course record and this dude just brings his little pup out there and just throws him off his game? You shouldn't get rattled by a dog on the golf course. It's fairly, I mean, this is Florida, right? Yeah.

Why can't dogs be on the golf course? Fairly normal. I'm not bringing Randy out there, but I've seen it done many times. Lions, there are dogs out there all the time. Muni. This guy would not want to say Muni. So the official take of the podcast is that if someone brings their dog to the golf course, you shouldn't shoot them and beat them up. Yeah, that's a good take, I think. I do applaud this guy for going for the non-life-threatening injury. The ankle shot is very low risk. Is that that the move if i get a gun and someone invades my home do i shoot them in the leg so i don't get like in trouble you're told to shoot to kill your castle doctor and up you're

good baby i can't shoot to kill you think he sprayed the block after when he was leaving the golf course you're asking if he did a drive-by shooting he did a couple desk pops imagine imagine you're just hanging out on the front porch and then some 75 year old bag of bones he's in a buick pulls out his tommy gun and just starts lighting the block up he just pulls up in his lincoln town car yeah dude did you ever i won't those are so do they still make the old school i guess they're old school they don't make them the old lincoln town car style or it's just it was a grandpa car oh just a big sedan yeah fat lincoln but like the inside felt like it was yeah they still i think they do still make those i don't know like this was 7 p.m on a sunday the

sun's going down a little bit you're just trying to vibe out before heading back to the grind the next day and you just got old man old man levine just shooting at you. Old Bob. What's your problem, dude? What's his problem? I wonder if old Bob can shoot his age. I'm telling you, I think he was putting together a good round. I don't know. Bob would have to break 74.

There's some playing from the front tees. I will never shoot my age, and I'm okay with it. Maybe on the front nine. I'd be so happy if I shot. Maybe on the front nine. I'd be so happy if I shot a 35 on the front nine. That would be unbelievable. Never going to happen. I'll never shoot my age. Never.

I work my words. Huh. Ain't happening. No. Dylan's on the back nine of life. Come on, man. I feel like I am. Come on, dog.

Brother, you're telling me. Can we do a quick worst of story hey is everybody's okay in this story yeah non-life threatening dude did he there's an arrest made i'm gonna assume yeah yeah you know he was arrested for like attempted manslaughter i can't imagine how put out i would be if i had a hole in my leg from a gunshot and then and then the guy started beating me with a club yeah you're like hey is grandpa gonna is grandpa coming to the lake house for Memorial Day weekend? Oh, no, he's serving a little jail time for shooting a dude for walking his dog on the golf course. And then beating him. Yeah.

After he already shot him. Yeah, it wasn't enough that he shot him. So, yeah, he went in and got his six iron and just went to town. I bet that dog got the fuck out of there, too. You think he dumped a clip on this dude? It sounds like Will did the story and it didn't say anything about dumping a clip it was just a single gunshot i also don't know if the golf digest writers have dumping a clip in their repertoire how many i don't know if that's in their style how many rounds does a tommy gun hold do we even know that yeah funny you are

very unlikely to be a tommy gun i'm gonna i'm gonna look it up i'm curious how many rounds he dumped it would it make would this story change for you at all and how you thought of it if you found out that instead of just pulling out like a piece he pulled out like a nine iron it looked like a nine iron but it was actually just kind of like a secret secret gun did you see the old man going through airport security recently and he didn't know that his cane was a sword he was going through security and he put his cane down on the uh the x-ray machine and it turns out that it was just a sword that kind of an incognito weapon and the old man had no fucking clue did they like unsheath it hey you want you also specs on this guy's tommy gun the picture the picture

wasn't unsheathed and i was like yeah that's a straight up sword fucking unguard looking ass you want specs on a tommy gun, sure. It weighed almost 10 pounds. That's heavy. Empty. And fired.45 caliber ammunition. The magazine was either a circular drum that held 50 or 100 rounds or a box that held 20 or 30 rounds. So this guy put 50 to 100 rounds into the student's leg is what I'm trying to tell you. How much does a magazine cost?

Is it like airport pricing? Like $ 12.95 i don't think you can buy tommy gun magazines at a at an airport oh but can you buy magazines about tommy guns at airports maybe you could in 1930 i don't know guns weekly god this guy pulled out a t-gun auto yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, Shane. I have another story of an old person down bad. You guys ready for this? It's old people week. Geriatric.

It's like a bones week. All right, this happened in Washington. So a lady, a woman who accidentally dropped her phone into the hole of an outhouse in a national forest, she fell in while trying to retrieve it and had to be rescued by firefighters in Washington State. You said outhouse? Washington? Washington or Washington? Washington.

It's Washington State. Yeah. They have really good sandwiches there. Why do people put an R in Washington? I don't know. What are you doing? It's not an R. Just read it.

Read the word. It's right in front of you. It said, it said, it said uh it said she was at the top of the mountain and uh she was using her phone when it fell into the toilet and she uh she said she disassembled the toilet seat and used a dog leash to try to get the phone and eventually she used the leashes to tie herself off as she reached for it so she went full macgyver like a bungee yeah yeah so she

went full macgyver and then that stopped that didn't work and she just fell in i had a similar i had a similar incident at dirty bills one time you dropped your phone in the toilet i was i was getting a tinky off i was i was like mid-20s at this point and i pulled my phone out be honest what were you doing in that back i probably had a babe on the line i was texting and peeing at the same time and i dropped it into the urinal why were you so close to bathroom? I probably had a babe on the line. I was texting and peeing at the same time, and I dropped it into the urinal. Why were you so close to the toilet? Did you say you had bae on the line or a bae on the line? No, this was like 12 years ago.

Oh, pre-bae. I thought you just said I had a bae on the line. No, I said a babe. Oh, okay. Yeah, a babe. So I quickly grabbed it out of the urinal. It had some pee pp on it and i was this phone worked perfectly fine but i was like i i can't just like take this phone out you know with me i didn't you

know put in my pocket has pp on it no i would have put it in my pocket so i ran it under the i ran it under the probably going home soon i was drunk i ran it under the sink and put like hand soap on it rinsed it off and that ruined the phone yeah dude i'm sure that totally worked the phone didn't work after that so was this uh was this a nokia um i believe it was i don't remember what it was maybe a motorola razor phone i don't remember whatever phone i had in uh okay here's the question that i have for you like is there a scenario where you drop your phone into an outhouse and you just don't retrieve it yes okay okay like are you more likely to try like say let's say you're at i'm not gonna say that we're doing what she did because i don't see any of us hiking to the top of olympic national

forest in washington in washington dylan's trying to get shreddy wetty yeah maybe i will so let's say let's say just for i want to put us in a party scenario and being that saturday is the kentucky derby which will be uh run while fritz's birthday party is going on so that should be pretty lit we'll be in mexico uh oh wait no it's this weekend this weekend first saturday in may dumbass oh no fuck it's is it next weekend i think it's the weekend of dylan's oh i fucked up oh who's a dumbass now i fucked up apologize to me i apologize i fucked up on scaries because i thought it was this weekend i'm an idiot just delete the episode no one called me out for it oh that's gonna be embarrassing when i show up to fritz's birthday with a jockey outfit on i was

kind of looking forward dude i was really was really looking forward to watching the race. Just everybody huddled around. Exactly. It's the perfect event because it's – Fuck. May 7th. Yeah, that bums me out. Watch your poolside though.

Let's say that we're at the Kentucky Derby. You go into an outhouse and you drop your phone in. Are you getting your phone there where you might need your phone to find your boys or anything? No. No. I'm in God's hands now. Here's the next question. I'm calling out my Apple Watch. I don't know why this would happen. Are you getting your phone there where you might need your phone to find your boys or anything? No. No. Okay. I'm in God's hands now. Here's the next question.

I got my Apple Watch. I don't know why this would happen. Let's say you drop your wedding ring in. Are you getting your wedding ring out of the porta potty at the Kentucky Derby? No. If I know where it is and I can quickly retrieve it, yes. You've got to stop doing the hand motion, dude. What?

If I have to like dig through the slush? Hey, bro. If I have to like dig through the slush? Hey, bro. If I have to sift through the doo-doo? I don't mind trying to. So the wedding band, it's not like the engagement ring. It's not like I'm a diamond encrusted here. Right. If I lose this, I'll get one of those.

Not cheap, though. I'll get one of those manly bands, the DC comic manly bands. Is Chris Harrison still behind those or one of those companies? I don't know. You can get a Joker manly band. It's not too late, Dylan. That's twisted. That's freaking twisted.

The irony is that no one who's into that is going to get married because they can't find a mate because they're just huge dorks. I'm sorry. Chill, dog. I'm sorry chill dog i'm sorry wait hold on just just uh for clarity yeah people who are into into the universe into it enough to get that on their wedding band dude well i i can tell you this um while we are not a dc podcast i'm talking of course about cum dylan chivery i could tell you that podcast is not for you oh no oh no get lost oh no no wedding band star we're getting a new one we'll go to store

we'll go to uh jared's tomorrow or wherever yeah diamonds direct which is made of anyway Anyway, is it tungsten? Plutonium. Plutonium. Isn't that dangerous? Radioactive? I'm dangerous. Radioactive. Dude, you can't say a word and then make a song out of it. Radioactive.

I once lost my wallet at the Kentucky Derby. I'm going to tell you this right now. Not an ideal situation. Did you ever find it? So I was sitting in a beach chair that I just had found in the infield. And I was just sitting there until I figured I'd sit there until someone told me to move. And because my legs were kind of propped up, my wallet had fallen out of my front pocket. I did not realize for probably an hour that I had lost my wallet until I had gotten to the ATM.

I wanted to play. It's a big boy stack on a horse. And I reached in. It was not there. And I freaked out. I had to catch a flight the next day. I didn't want to deal with that. I retraced all my steps. I went back to the beach chair that was still there.

And it was just sitting on the ground in the midst of about 120,000 people. I could not have been more happy. Your boy was down bad. It's a tough day. It was weirdly, then I went back to the hotel room and it was weirdly sitting on Dave's hotel stand too. Remember I told you how I lost my,

I left my fanny pack in a public restroom in Greece that had my wallet, all of my money, and my passport in it. It was there for 30 minutes minutes i went back and it was still there this motherfucker was wearing a fanny pack in greece what if i was still in greece because i was stuck there just living the dream they'd probably be calling you the greek freak they did call me that i don't know how we would have continued on

oh thanks man my ring is made of vibranium really because it's not working like you know i'm giving you like those superpowers and shit you're just still like vibes you're still very mid okay instead of hey come work out with me dog instead of sally's ring having diamonds on your workouts they're so boring you couldn't handle my shit man you just hang out on the cable machine doing tricep extensions all day. You would tap out 20 minutes into my shit. I'm not tapping out. Yeah, you are. You'd have to, no.

Okay, you'll throw in the towel, whatever you want to use. I'd pull the towel from your shorts and then throw it in. That's right. You couldn't handle my shit. We can move on. I was trying to tell you that I put infinity stones in sally's ring instead of uh instead of diamonds really yeah how'd you acquire them my friend thanos you're friends with thanos a bad dude yeah

we drank beers together i didn't know you ran with a crew like that yeah we met uh in a club that we joined together. What club? The gardening club. You guys gardened together? Yeah, he had to get special gloves made because his hands are big. Very big man. Yeah.

He could have had a better, more sassy snap, in my opinion. If you're about to destroy a planet. You know, a lot of people say, where does Thanos live if the planet's destroyed? You know, a lot of people say... Where does Thanos live if the planet's destroyed? A Titan? Hey, a lot of people say I look like Thanos. Really? Isn't that the planet name? Or the actor who plays him anyway. Weren't you calling yourself Dranos back in the day?

Yeah, because I was always clogging up my toilet. With what? Let's hear from our good friends over at Mizzenzen and may i let brett come over and take mondo doves yesterday so i'm sorry brett you can't hear me maybe he can't he shut the door he's doing some business okay good yesterday was one of the best weather days we've had all year in austin texas was almost perfect outside. And it was the final day before it's really starting to heat up in these parts. And you know what that means for me? I'm going to start sweating through shirts.

You're going to have to drive home in a new shirt that you brought. Probably. I've considered doing that from the golf course, David. And luckily for me, I'm strapped with that mizzen in Maine that helps me just remain easy and breezy in those hot temperatures. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying, Campbell? That fabric is something else.

It's different. I hate wearing dress shirts in general. They always get wrinkled. I sweat through immediately and you can't really hide that. With Mizzen and Maine, that all goes out the door. You can throw these things in the washing machine and they come out looking brand new. You can bring these things in a suitcase somewhere, hang them up in your closet, and guess what? You can probably wear it out that night without even having to worry about it.

I purchased a white button-down from them. Yes, I purchased it. Even though they're a sponsor, I still just, with my own money, just acquire their stuff. And it is a go-to shirt of mine. You're literally wearing their hat right now. I am. I probably got the same one when we went out there, and I'm definitely wearing it to your wedding. Really?

Yeah. Well, Mizzen and Main combines the comfort and flexibility of your favorite athletic wear with the fit and style of a custom dress shirt. You can even put their, like I said, you can put their dress shirts in the machine, and it doesn't even matter. You can skip those trips to the dry cleaner, which just makes your life so much easier.

On a hot day in Washington, D.C., Mizzen and Main's founder saw a guy running up the hill in a sweat-soaked, wrinkled dress shirt, and he thought there had to be a better way. And there was. Yeah. year on a hot day in Washington DC Mizzen and Mains founder saw a guy running up the hill in a sweat soaked wrinkled dress shirt and he thought there had to be a better way and there was yeah turns out there was and so he decided to make being comfortable and looking great the new normal and they've gotten famous for their dress shirts but they also make incredibly comfortable flannels no tuck shirts performance polos chinos and so much more in all performance fabrics and these guys have over 30 000 reviews

i mean if phil can play golf in them and go crazy low think about how comfortable that has to be that's facts if i ever find myself in washington after a hike in and out washington and i lose my mizzen and main shirt in the you're diving in some reason you're gonna catch me toothpicking into that thing to get that thing out it's disgusting whether you're updating your wardrobe to head back to the office or you're just looking for a new flannel, we've got good news. Right now, if you go to MizzenandMaine.com,

use promo code CIRCLING35 and you'll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more. That's $35 off when you go to M-I-Z-Z-E-N-A-N-D-M-A-I-N.com and use our promo code CIRCLING35. Dylan's getting married this weekend. Oh yeah. This wasn't a segment, so I don't know how

actually prepared we are for this, but I think we need to do some wedding predictions. How about first I just walk everybody through the itinerary for the day. Hit us with that tinny. So, I'm getting married on a Sunday, which is a little untraditional. It's a Sunday brunch themed.

I did that. Oh, how about that? Meanwhile, everyone's jacking my shit. I'm sorry for swagger jacking you. It's okay. It's just the day of the week. I will be staying the night, um, at a hotel on South Congress Saturday night. So I'll wake up there with parks.

I'll be staying there with parks. My son. Are y'all doing separate or is it just you going to the hotel he'll be sleeping in bed with no no no parks i'm talking about you and britney she will be staying at our house okay yeah sorry you get the hotel is actually a great move because you don't have to worry about any logistics while you're there i know by the way they they are britney and our wedding coordinator have sent me a very detailed itinerary that like by the minute i will be i will know what i'm going to

be doing i can already i can already see dave and i getting yelled at because we're like delaying something on on sunday morning yes speaking of will and dave i've asked them to join me at the hotel that morning, and they said yes. I don't have like – Wait. What day is this? Stop. I don't have groomsmen.

I have a best man, and that's Parks. You've got podsmen. I have podsmen. So Dave and Will are going to join me at the hotel to just kind of be my support system. I'm going to be nervous. I'm going to be anxious. I need the to be nervous. I'm going to be anxious. I need some, I need some,

I need the squad there. Basically might have a champagne. Um, wait, what is it? Huh? Champagne. Oh,

okay. And then, uh, yeah, so I'll be arriving at the house, which is where the ceremony is later that morning. And I'll be putting the tux on there. Okay.

I'm going to put my tux on there too. That's fine. That's fine, Dave. Yeah. Then we got some pictures. Get out of the way. We're doing a first look followed by some pictures. Then the ceremony in our backyard.

I prepared some vows. Which ones? A-E? A-I-O-U? Vow. Not vowel. Sometimes Y. Stop. Anyway. Y. Stop.

Anyway. No, but seriously. Ceremony's going to be there. And then we will be departing the house after the ceremony and headed to a little restaurant on South Congress where we had our first date. And it's going to be an absolute scene. Is it going to be a problem if after the ceremony to celebrate,

I start popping them thangs in the air? Yeah, can we do some desk pops from the crowd? You're going to bring a firearm to my wedding? It's a celebration, no? Is it a Tommy gun? Not a Tommy gun. Then no, please. It's that old take 10 paces and turn around.

You're going to have a duel with somebody. No, no, no. Hypothetical. I'm just shooting the air. Oh, okay. Yeah. Is Randy bringing a plus one to this thing or what? No, he's going to find his plus one at the wedding.

He's flying private. Randy's like, oh, dude, dude, no bridesmaid is safe. So the reception itself. reception itself that he would say is going to end something he absolutely would never say the reception is going to end pretty early in the day and i'm hoping that you know this turns into like a let's let's bounce around south congress for a little bit with lots of people i think that'll be a lot of fun and um yeah that's it is it true that y'all will be departing um after the ceremony in a top-down miata with cans tied to the back yeah how are you getting to june it's like are you taking some baller whip like what are you doing we're taking britney's car oh that's lame

yeah lame you shouldn't drive why not party you need someone else to drive you i think someone else's drive on your wedding i think someone is driving yeah you can't just do it yourself yeah we're gonna make out in the back seat yeah you can't be driving yourself i'm gonna get handsy in the back seat with bay jeez a new bride up dude a new bride i'm not gonna get handy i'm just kidding i have a prediction i'm gonna sweat through sweat through my Mizzen and Main that day. Good luck, man. It's a Mizzen and Main. There's a pit stain watching effect.

Yeah. But it's not going to matter as much because it's a Mizzen and Main, so I'm not as worried about it. But I'm definitely going to sweat through my suit at some point. Hey, weatherman Dave, can I get a weather prediction? Yeah. I think. What time is ceremony?

10-45-11. There's somewhere in there. I bet it'll be around 80. And it'll be climbing. It'll be warm. It'll be sunny. I think there's a slight chance of isolated showers and thunderstorms, but nothing widespread.

Should we get, we have a tent. We have to decide today if the tent will be there or not. Should we tent or no tent? Are you saying tent? Tent. T-E-N-T. Well, hold on. Let me check my...

Make sure I don't want to tell you one thing. Oh, yeah, you're good. Okay. Can I make another prediction? Yeah, what's up? I think in true prediction fashion, Brett's going to absolutely brick his fit. No.

Damn. Who called that the first time? You? Yeah. God, Brett's just taking L's today. I love making fun of someone that doesn't have a mic. I know. He's just punching air in there.

He's on like a call that he doesn't want to be on. He's just listening to us roast him from afar. What if the call he's on in there is to sell his Serge Ibaka NFT? That'd be good. He's been trying to negotiate. That'd be good. What if he wears like a black button down and a silver tie?

Dude, that'd be swag. Oh my God. It's just totally bricks. He gets his shirt. What's the place? Express? I feel like that's where dudes shop. Here's my next prediction, okay?

You ready for this? Britney's signature cocktail is going to vastly outperform dylan's signature cocktail oh that's there's no question about that there will be a surplus of yours well hers is um an espresso martini which is very popular cocktail these days mine is for you know only those with very sophisticated palates i have another prediction are you ready for this it's a mezcal negroni i'm not going to promote him doing this i'm not going to i'm not going to plant the seed with this okay but i do think he's going to do it at some point during the ceremony and i'm counting before

she walks down the aisle up until we all exit our seats and leave parks will dab at some point he's also going to punch dave at some point yeah maybe while walking down the aisle he has the best dab i hope he does he's getting haircut today by the way oh big haircut he's getting those ears lowered he's getting that that way i'm gonna blow some beers this weekend oh he's gonna drink beers only tomato fights listeners will understand this tweet should i give him a should i give him a sip of beer on sunday just one probably not i don't know if you do maybe don't talk about it on a podcast that does tens of thousands of listens. I'm not going to do it.

A couple more years. I'll give him one sip. How old is Parks? Seven. Oh, yeah. I was eight when I had my first beer. Really? Yeah.

He's got another year. Dude, I came out of the womb drinking beers. Just cashing them. There goes Brett, man. He's just existing. Can you not? You don't have to identify every time he no i wasn't even talking about the bathroom i was acknowledging that he's in the room i didn't say

you just did it uh-oh wait for it all right no fan on no fan no fan he's getting a tink off good for him all right that's why i'm never sticking around here when people are recording. I'm gone. As much as I'm in there. Oh, man. Let's do it. Any other predictions? I mean, I got a million. You have a million?

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must be 21 or older dylan what are you doing this weekend? I'm going to George Strait Friday at the new Moody Center. I've never seen the king in person. Oh, I've seen him in person, but I've never seen him perform in person. So I'm excited about that. George Strait, you hear about this guy? Is this his actual farewell performance? One of his, like, 30? It's hard to say.

Yeah, I don't know. Saturday, a little rehearsal at the house we're just gonna walk through the little ceremony make sure everyone's on the same page there get the kids involved um low bay flower girl park's best man um so that'll be fun um and then might swing through uh the fritz man's birthday party and get my early bird in my bucket hat and just get the hell out of there. What's your problem, dude? No, there's a time frame that you have to hit

in order to make sure that you're actually allowed into the party. Oh, you're a bouncer? You can't just show up, get the party favors and leave. Who's bouncing? I don't think you want to find out. No, I'll probably come through. We got tinies. I'll have parks with me.

We hired tinies to work security. He passed away, didn't he? Oh, yeah, he did. Yeah. He still got his crew, though. Yeah. Okay. And then after the Fritz man's birthday party,

Parks and I will go to the hotel. You're not coming to Fritz man's birthday party. We're going to catch a vibe. We're going to do a dinner with Bay and little bay i believe somewhere around the hotel um a nice little like you know pre-wedding like look at those cute little fam about to get you know about to join it's gonna be a cute scene about to join about to yeah and uh yeah and then we already i've already talked about sunday i'm getting married sunday what getting this sunday getting married sunday um i'm gonna change that tea time i'm i'm 90 just crazy excited 10 nervous but i'm very excited it's gonna be nervous

about like she's gonna bolt or something i just don't like all that attention on me, man. Dude, what if you low-key faked everybody out and you bolted? What if I faint? I'm on faint watch. Bend the knees, dude. That'll be a really good segment Monday. Don't lock the knees. I'm on faint watch, man.

And then, look, the next week, it's Cabo time. We're going to celebrate Dilly Day Mayo in Cabo. You guys are coming, too. You guys will be there. More on that on next week's weekend. So will Brett. I think Brett quit. Did you notice Brett just walked from the bathroom to the bathroom?

Honestly, at this point, I would get it. I wouldn't blame him. You got tired of us calling out his Mondo Dumps? Don't say us. There's one person. There's one person who's fixated on this man's habits. Hey, guys, I'm not going to come into work on Monday, I don't think, unless we do like a late afternoon episode.

No, I'm not doing that. We'll get Mike or something. Got a busy-ass week next week. We really do. Yeah, I somewhat had like a freakout last night because I didn't really put together that we have got a three-day work week next week and this exact same schedule of things that we need to do. So it should be really fun. Yeah, that's always a fun realization.

Yeah. For some reason, I thought we were going to Cabo on Friday, which is very doable. When I realized that our plane leaves Thursday morning, I was like, oh. Yeah, sorry. The three days of work next week are going to suck, especially given probably the copious amounts of alcohol we drink on Sunday. We're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. Coming from the guy who's not coming in on Monday. We're going to be just fine. We're going to be fine.

Dave, what are you doing this weekend, dog? Pretty much that. Yeah, same. I got Lou Amon's. I got Dylan's wedding. Hopefully the Mavs clinch tomorrow so I don't have to deal with a game seven on Saturday because that would be a real problem. I'll be a wreck at that party. That's it. No plans. I'm

sorry. I've had a killer headache this entire morning and my head feels like it's going to explode. So if you're watching at home and have been seeing me pull my hat off, rubbing my temples, that's why. I just wanted to put that out there. If I suck today, that's why i just wanted to put that out there if i suck today that's why i did suck today i suck rub your temples sucks so yeah nothing you know that's a big weekend and then now we'll we'll just the realization of what next week looks like recording was it's just hit and uh thanks dylan yeah i should probably i should probably pre-apologize to any sunday scaries listeners out there for the absolute mail-in episode that i have to do next week you're doing the mail i'm sorry for inviting you it's gonna be a combo for a great time might be

bringing my mic down with me recording from the hotel room mike let's do mike i'll do it i'll pod with you we've done that dylan you have to be at the party for 30 minutes before you're getting handed a... You're in shreddy, wetty season, so you're not even going to drink a pina colada with a dark rum floater. We'll see about it. You're just not. Randy just got real excited. I'll have a few sips. Yeah, we got a machine.

Not worried about it. Then I'm coming. Is it... To the party. Is it true that y'all are serving Colorado Bulldogs? I don't know what that is, David. It's like a... It's like the most aggressive drink of all time.

We have an ice luge. We're going to get an ice luge. We're doing upside down margaritas upstairs. They're just going to spill out if you turn them upside down. Tad and Chip are just going to be running the beer pong table. Vodka, coffee, liqueur, cream, and Coca-Cola. That sounds kind of dank.

They are very good, but the next day they are not very good. That makes sense. They're very bad. They'll make you buy a Serge Ibaka NFT. Well, for anyone trying to get their hands on some limited edition merch from a little man's birthday i got bad news for you there's only about 30 bucket hats out there

these things are swag can i wear it to your wedding oh yeah it's a it's a tie-dyed bucket hat that says very cool on it in comic sans sure you i can wear that to your wedding just confirming right now if you want to be seen like that, yeah. I feel like your sister would just walk up, grab the hat, and throw it away. She'd be like, well, we're not doing this right now. I can't see her doing that. I can't either. She's too nice. I think I'd want her to do that, though.

That's all we got. Should we get the hell out of here? Let's have a strong episode. Voicemails tomorrow. Patreon.com slash Shackling Back Podcast. Get your voicemails in. 888-618-4422 again 888-618-4422 get in get out be tactical cb on the paywall tomorrow bye you