Circling Back - Let's See Them Aliens

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

A former Israeli general talks about aliens on Mars forming a “Galactic Federation,” Elon Musk is moving to Texas full-time, Spanish lions have officially contracted COVID, Will enters The Steam Room to talk his new iPhone experience, Randy’s surprise segment, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (11:04) The Galactic Federation on Mars (22:36) Elon Musk Moves to Texas (32:30) Spanish Lions Contracted COVID (54:28) The Steam Room: Apple (1:03:32) Randy’s Surprise Segment (1:06:07) This Weekend in Fun Support our sponsors! Cuts: www.cutsclothing.com/steam (15% off) Raycon: www.buyraycon.com/steam (15% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com (click microphone and enter CIRCLINGBACK for 4-week free trial) Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will defreeze to my right dave ruff did y'all see that god bless texas was trending yesterday there's a there's a very uh noted te Texas country song. It's punctuated with God bless Texas. And it's all I could think about for the last 24 hours. Just that song. Was it election related? Didn't look. Just sang the song

in my head. Great. I can't wait to wake up at 3.30 in the morning tonight with that stuck in my head. Do you know the song? Yeah. God bless Texas. That song stinks. It's on like a truck month commercial or something. Yeah, 100%. It's on a lot of truck month commercials I song? Yeah. I think it's on like a... That song stinks. It's on like a truck month commercial or something. Yeah, 100%. It's on a lot of truck month commercials, I think. Yeah.

Pretty much all of them. Yeah. We should do truck year. No. We don't sell trucks. Not yet. We got dumps like them. We do have dumps like a truck.

Q1 is shaping up to be a... We need to push some vehicles, Dylan. We should start a truck club. Cyber trucks. Truck clubs. Specifically. It's a trunk club. Oh, really? Yeah. Cyber trucks. Truck clubs, specifically. Oh, really? Okay. I don't know if you heard. So it's like a subscription service for trucks?

I think that's just leasing trucks, Dave. I think they already do that. Exactly, but it's handpicked by experts back at the shop. Yeah. Did you ever do trunk club? No. I did. I had a friend who worked there.

Yeah. So I got her – she hooked me up with some stuff. It was quite expensive. Yeah, yeah. I was like – I didn't want to there. Yeah. So I got her. She hooked me up with some stuff, and it was quite expensive. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I didn't want to be like, oh, I don't want this. But bit the bullet. Probably still paying it off to this day. You're just paying for your subscription service clothing from years ago? Correct.

That's always exciting. Speaking of someone who could use something like that, Dylan, what up? I'm actually pretty excited about the slate we have today. It's a loaded episode. Which is atypical because usually you guys just bore me to death. But today I'm actually really excited about what's going on. I'm glad you're happy. That's really why we come in here every day and work.

It's to make sure that we're keeping you happy and entertained. If I'm happy, our listeners are happy. That's usually how it goes. Is it? It's going to be a good one. I kind of think they're happy when you're kind of getting beaten down. Calling my shot. Dylan's the chairman of the board.

Ha ha ha. No. But yeah, it's going to be a good one. Are you the CEO, the chief excitement officer now? Yes. Cool dude. Yes. He's the ambassador of fun.

And we're talking Christmas treats tonight on the happy hour. I know you're going to get to that. Oh, man. I just can't wait to hear your rating system. I'm getting ahead of it. I hope you get absolutely exposed tonight. How, I just can't wait to hear your rating system. I'm getting ahead of it. I hope you get absolutely exposed. How could I possibly get exposed? Because there's a lot of

people out there that just don't believe that your rating system is fair. Yeah, ones with shitty trees and no... Ah. Look, my system is totally fair. And it's my system. We'll find out tonight. We'll find out tonight at Washed Media on YouTube.

YouTube.com slash Washed Media if you're trying to subscribe. Happy Hour Live is back after probably a couple month hiatus, month long hiatus. We're trying to hit like one a month. A few weeks. So we thought, you know, what better opportunity to do a quick Happy Hour Live this holiday season than to actually raid some trees. It's kind of a no brainer in the Washed Media world. Seems right up our alley.

We should find, excuse me, we should find celebrity trees who have posted them. Like you noted, you did one last night. Oh, Kaylee Hartung? Kaylee Hartung.

Yeah. Noted ABC News correspondent. Hers was, and she did admit that it was like her first one or something or whatever, but it was so boring. That's her first Christmas tree?

It was so vanilla. How did she word it? Something like, oh, I finally decorated a tree or something like that. Jeez. I mean, to be fair, my first ever Christmas tree was this one that I did myself. Her caption is, after 10 years of living alone, it took a pandemic for me to finally get my own tree. How did I do? Okay, now I feel bad.

Apologize to Kaylee right now. Oh, she lives alone. Hi, I'm alone. Hasologize to Kaylee right now. Oh, she lives alone. I have a loan. Has she responded to your DM yet? I've not DM'd her. Okay. We got some other notes as well. Washed shop.

Washedmedia.shop. Shouts to Ricky Prosper for getting all these designs. Killed it. Killed it. I'm also a very big fan of the new stuff that he's been dropping with the Keith Haring versions of famous albums. It's just dope. The Mac Miller one's incredible. The Mac Miller one is

like, even if you don't like Mac Miller, you have to like this design. I'll put it that way. I believe RickyProsper.com launches as we speak. There we go. Go give him some props for everything he did for us, but of course go check out WatchMedia.shop. Also, go follow at Circle and Back Pod or at WatchMedia. Go give him some props for everything he did for us. But of course go check out WatchMedia.shop. Also go follow at Circle and Back Pod.

We're at WatchMedia. Go follow it all. Get in the universe. Have some fun. There is a loading phase as everyone knows and the easiest way to get through that loading phase is just to follow us for a week on social. Also leave a review and five star rating. Love reading them. Love seeing them. This week on Patreon we're doing Wednesday Bachelor episode

right after this. And then we're doing wednesday bachelor episode right after this and then we're doing voicemails on friday and finally twitch twitch.tv slash watched media we need to start going live on twitch more we've got the initiative it's a 2021 initiative we're going to change up some times it's going to be fun can we get can we get something out of the way before we really hop into the nitty gritty of all this stuff? What? Sabres are back? For better or for worse, 2020 has kicked off the work from home era.

We're not working from home all the time, but we do a lot of working from home. That's fair. Everyone's asking one big question. What are we supposed to wear? Yeah. Well, I got some news for you. You don't need to wear a tie to your Zoom meeting. But sweatpants and your go-to gym tee?

That might not feel right either. If you show up at my Zoom meeting in a tie, I'm just going to cancel you out. I'm kicking you out of the group. What's your problem? What if you're picking games on game day and you just won the Masters? Well, that's a little different. All right. When you win the Masters, you have a year of being able to do whatever you want.

I agree with that. Which could include wearing Cuts clothing. You know Cuts clothing is a perfect solution to your work-from-home wardrobe confusion? It's the best in the world at making technical apparel for the sport of business. And as we all know, business is a sport. It certainly is. Objectively a sport. How are you doing in it?

I'm okay. You're on the bubble. I'm betting like $290. You might get relegated. You're like a D2 guy. Okay, get out of here. Whatever. Their t-shirts, polos, and hoodies have enough quality and style to wear in the office on a date or anywhere in between,

so you don't have to choose between a classic look and a modern feel. I'll be honest, Randy's wearing them right now, and it's held up very nice. Randy's wore this shirt a lot. He actually hasn't changed in, like, seven days. He wore it to the Christmas party. Starting to smell. Mm-hmm. And it looks phenomenal.

Fit, fabric, and function. Cuts started out in 2016 by making GQ what GQ calls the only shirt worth wearing. It's phenomenal. Fit, fabric, and function. Cuts started out in 2016 by making what GQ calls the only shirt worth wearing. It's athletic. These things are tailored looking. It's a perfect fit for a date and work, anything in between. They're custom engineered, wrinkle-free. Pika, spelled P-Y-C-A. Pika Pro fabric can be described only as really buttery soft.

You should wear a Picochelle necklace. I don't think that's the same thing. Very different, Dylan. Come on. Don't try to chew it either. Okay. Get it? Either way, get into some cuts.

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that Hyperloop French terry. Dude, I love these French terries. I need a new hoodie. Throw two in the cart? If there's an American terry, I'm like,

dude, get out of here, terry. Where's the French one? Yeah. Terry. My terry, I'm on. No? Terry Henry. Put it in reverse, terry. He's French., I'm on. No?

Terry Henry. Put it in reverse, Terry. He's French. Am I doing a lot for you right now? That's my favorite Terry. Aside from the French one is the put it in reverse Terry. My favorite Terry is Terry Tate. Off his line back there?

Is there a better Terry than Terry Tate? You know what? That was an excellent commercial. They need to do that again. Can they not do that anymore because of concussions and stuff? I don't know. Did you see the one with Terrell Suggs? Or who was the guy that was chasing around the state farm

agent? I don't know. Oh, it was the dude from the state farm agent, James Harrison. Yes, that's right. But Terry Tate was legit laying people out in the office. He wasn't just chasing anybody. He literally showed that business was a sport. He was truck-sticking people. There's no way to treat your labor and hard workers.

It's a lawsuit waiting to happen. Would you rather get absolutely clocked by Terry Tate while making a coffee at the Keurig or get run over by a golf cart by some piece of shit 22-year-old? It probably feels about the same. Give me Terry. Because at least you know with Terry, it's guaranteed going to turn the lights off. The golf cart is probably feels about the same. Give me Terry. Because at least you know with Terry, like, it's guaranteed

going to, like, turn the lights off. The golf cart's probably just going to, like, hurt for a long time. Like, you're not even going to get knocked out. You're going to get

scraped up. Terry's going to knock you out. The golf cart is, you're going to tear some ligaments and it's going to ruin your... This is fair. Yeah.

Your hip's going to get... Concussion protocol from Terry, no doubt. But wake up in the hospital, maybe you get a little drip. Ooh. Ooh. A little drip. Look at the drip maybe you get a little drip look at the trip look at the fucking trip did you do that thing on the on your bachelor party where you surfed behind a golf cart was that you i was drew i did not do that but i didn't have a bachelor party breath thanks for bringing it up yeah yeah yeah that's right we still have time you're still gonna do matt's a rancho no i i was

there uh we were yeah we were at a bachelor party, and a dude dressed just like Ricky Fowler decided to act as a surfboard in front of what I would say would be about 300 young professionals having a nice event at Torrey Pines. And they just went screeching by them, pretty much just tearing up the course. I've never understood that trend. It doesn't look – What are you going to wreck your back? Your shirt's ruined. Oh, the shirt – I mean, the outfit was ruined. You've wrecked a few backs in your day.

I don't know what that means. Golf course antics. You take a lot of divots on the back nine because your swing gets lazy. That's what he's talking about. That's fair. You tend to leave the face open on impact off the tee, and you can just tell. Okay. Can someone explain to me why we're burying the lead today?

Can I ask one other question and further bury it? Yeah. Is it rude? Is it bad etiquette if your buddy is lined up on a tee box? Fairway's clearly here. Can you smoke him with a golf cart? No, no, no. Can you run him over?

Because, yes, that's poor etiquette. You play sicko mode, right, when he's swinging. No, and he's clearly aimed. So the first time you see him, it's like, oh, he's aimed right. And he hits it right. And you're like, and it's out of bounds, right, or in the trees. You don't say anything. But, like, the second time, if you see – do you ever say, dude, that's where you were aimed?

No. I don't because I'm not good enough. No, no, no. I'm not good enough to critique. That one is okay because it's not a swing critique. It's like, dude, you're aimed no i don't i've done i'm not good enough i'm not that one is okay because it's not a swing critique it's like dude you're just lining up i think you give it one and if it's your buddy you're you're allowed to be like because if you especially if you if you you know hit it well but it's just that is a non-aggressive helpful tip but the person that is receiving that non-aggressive helpful tip who just put one out of bounds might not take it as being non-aggressive that's helpful hey you know put one out of bounds, might not take it as being non-aggressive and fair. That's helpful. Hey, you know you were aimed right there, right? That's what I swing around, and I'm like, yeah, dude, thank you.

Really appreciate it. I would like someone to tell me, honestly. All right. If I'm aimed out of bounds and I hit it there. Next time me and you play, I'm going to just be hyper. No, but that's not like a swing critique. No, it's, yeah. Yeah, but you still run the risk of your buddy just getting fuming.

Nah, that one's fair to me. That one's fair. Can we just fucking talk aliens one time? Alien workshop. One time. Intergalactic planetary. Yes, we can. How do you even know that song?

I asked him earlier. He did this earlier, and I said, do you even like the Beastie Boys? I can see you not liking them. Of course. I got love for the Beastie Boys. Do you have love for Galactic Federation? Sabotage is their best song. I'm trying to not liking them. Of course. I got love for the Beastie Boys. Do you have love for Galactic Federation? Sabotage is their best song. I'm trying to join the Federation.

It might be their best hit. Easily their best video. I'll say that. It's definitely their best video. Why are we not talking about the former Israeli space security chief that says extraterrestrials exist and Trump knows about it? I love this story. I didn't know about this story until I walked into the studio today and you guys were talking about it. I love this story. I didn't know about this story until I walked into the studio today and you guys were talking about it.

The alien stuff is like at a fever pitch right now. They're having a moment. Relatively speaking. People are all about aliens. They're having a moment. They really are. So this isn't some nut job

who runs like an alien gift shop in Roswell. Like this is a legit dude. You know what I'm saying? Alien gift shop. I mean that person does exist. Let's be clear. Right. Yes.

This isn't a tinfoil hat guy. Have you ever looked into the Roswell stuff? Oh, you saw the phenomenon. Yeah. The only Ros I care about is on Frasier. Them kids at that school, Dave. That was wild, huh? You got to Zimbabwe?

I finished it. I know. Yeah. Just as I. Dude, that is a... Was he really? We're further varying the lead, but that was wild. You need to watch the phenomenon.

I know. I know. I'm the outsider. Guys, I've had a long... I'll be in the steam room later, but I've had a long couple days. All right. So this guy has a long tenured career dealing with... He's a general.

Former general. He's a general. He's a very well respected academic former israeli space security chief so he knows like he knows some shit uh i mean he's speaking up so like i said it's not some lunatic off the streets he was like no looking i got abducted and probed this guy's legit is this guy so he's a legit general yeah yeah yeah i don't know how many stars how they do it over there but does he's a legit general? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how many stars, how they do it over there, but. Does he have a heart of gold? So according to this. It's a dispatch lyric. According to this gentleman, there's this thing called the Galactic Federation.

Okay. This is where I start to. Which is, right, which is made up of humans and aliens. And they meet on Mars. Okay? Okay. So it seems like that's a- Do people from Earth travel to Mars in order to meet the Galactic Federation?

Or is there just some kind of agreement between the two? That I'm unsure of. Zoom. Yeah? There's an eight-minute time difference. You sign on to your Zoom call and there's just an alien just sitting there with a tie on? Okay, try hard. It's like, dude, you're not wearing pants, are you?

Trong. Whatever your name is. That's alien for, no, I don't have pants on. According to this guy also. I'm not wearing pants. Go on, Dylan. According to this guy. Take me to your tailor.

That's so stupid. It is. According to this guy, there is an agreement in place that says humans aren't ready to become aware of aliens' existence, so they're keeping it a secret until humans are ready. Well, he's not keeping it a secret. They signed a contract with us to do experiments here. already. Well, he's not keeping it a secret. They signed a contract with us to do experiments here. First of all, why would extraterrestrials abide by

international contract law? Are they like, yeah, well, it's a handshake deal. Is that not good enough? Yeah, I'm sorry, but is there a court that respects Martian law? I don't know.

The lawyer who has intergalactic specialty? Yeah, do you have to pass the bar on Mars? The Simpsons lawyer. Yeah, if this guy wanted to be more believable, he should have left some of these details out, I think. Yeah, like he's losing me with they sign an agreement. Do you think they got it and they're like, hey, man, have you signed that yet?

We sent it over. And he's like, well, I got some red signed that yet? We sent it over. And he's like, well, I got some red lines to it. I'll send it over with comments. It's like, I don't know if we can budge on that one, man, but I'll see.

I'll run it up the chain. Next thing you know, you got an agreement. Maybe he's speaking out now because he, okay, he says they have been waiting until today

for humanity to develop and reach a stage where we will understand in general what space and spaceships are. Maybe now is the time. I feel like we've known what space and spaceships are for like 50 years now. Do they know Neil deGrasse Tyson? We know what space is, but we don't know what all is out there. Neil Diamond went to space like years ago, decades ago.

Maybe. Are you thinking of Neil Armstrong? Maybe. Neil Diamond. Okay. He might have gone to space Neil Armstrong? Maybe. Neil Diamond. Okay. He might have gone to space. We're not sure yet still. I'm pretty sure Armstrong has been to space.

Okay. He said the aliens were equally curious about humanity and were seeking to understand, quote, the fabric of the universe. So they don't even know about this shit either. Maybe he does really need to get taken to a tailor. Did we talk about the, about the base on Mars? The base on Mars has American astronauts at it, according to this guy.

I don't know what you asked. I'm still laughing at imagining Dave just say, take me to your tailor. If you're an American astronaut, are you not spilling the beans? Dude, I was the first one to land on Mars. Why is the former Israeli space security chief divulging secrets about the U.S. government? Well, you know, the

two countries have a long-standing relationship. So, I mean, it wouldn't shock me. This could be a national security boy. To make it look like, look, we're in with fucking aliens. Or the Israelis. Sorry, China. I don't hate getting the aliens on our side.

No, if we're... I don't know what it's going to take. Apparently just contract law. To quote the Facebook page from Area 51, let's see them aliens. Look, there are aliens. There are. Yeah, I know. We're all in agreement that there's aliens out there.

I don't know anybody... I want to see them aliens. I don't know anybody I want to see them I don't know anybody who doesn't there's no one in this room who doesn't believe it no now there's some people

who'll be like I won't believe it until I see it okay but I feel like you're ignoring the evidence either that or you just don't want to

it's easier to live and not think about it before I die I just want to know what they look like I just want to see one of those pictures you know what they look like

everybody has the same image you don't know that's what I don't like. I want my own eyes to see them, David. You need to watch The Phenomenon, dude. I'm telling you. Is it phenomenal? Yes.

Phenomenal. Intergalactic, planetary. That song was not good. Yes, it was. Yeah, it was. It was good. Yes, it was. You don't know good music, David.

We've already established that. Dude, you should not. You have a long history of being bad at music. Let's see it. No, I rock. I want to rock dudes rock those kids man at that school they all told the same all the same tale if you don't know what we're talking about you need to go on Amazon I believe that's the only it's gonna set you back five bucks up for $4.99 so I promise you it is worth it. It is over an hour of just evidence-based UFO personal accounts speaking with high-level officials, former Pentagon officials,

which you might ask, why are they letting this Pentagon person speak? What's that about? It's a little weird. I don't know. I think they know it's inevitable. Why are they letting this Pentagon person speak? What's that about? It's a little weird. I don't know. I think they know it's inevitable. The one fighter pilot who talked about the tic-tac-shaped UFO.

The Right Stuff guy, right? Yeah, I've heard him on, I believe he was on a Rogan. Probably. Probably was. That checks out. His story's pretty wild. You guys want to hear a wild space fact that I learned the other day while watching something on HBO? If space doesn't die, it grows to infinity.

And beyond. Right? Like an alligator. Tell us, dude. How thick do you think the rings on Saturn are? Come on. Oh, man. If you're on Saturn, how thick these rings?

How thick be these rings? Correct. Two C thick? Yeah. How thick be these rings? Correct. 2C thick? Yeah.

It's either going to be mind-blowingly thin or thick as fuck. And I don't know which way to go with this. Keep in mind that across, if you're across the rings, it's 175,000 miles across. What are the rings made of? I don't know. Why are you? I'm the one asking questions. Because it might change my thinking. It's gas.

It's like little rocks and dust and shit. Little rocks and dust and shit. He says gas. So what is it? I don't think it's gas, though. Probably a bunch of shit. I bet there's gas in there. I probably learned this during the thing, but I don't remember that.

The only thing I took away from it is how thick they are. What if it's made of cheese? Okay, they're 175,000 miles long. Just put out a number how thick they are. Damn, it's definitely not gas. Fuck. I'm going to say... Wow, Brett's on a roll. 2, number how thick they are. Damn, it's definitely not gas. Fuck. I'm going to say... Wow, Brett's on a roll.

2,000 feet thick. Butter. 2,000 feet? I'm going to go like 10 miles. I'm going to say like 15 feet. Okay, you guys went the right way of going low. They're only 3,200 feet thick, which is about one kilometer. Pretty hilarious.

I was close. And it puts it this way. If you had a model of Saturn that was a meter stick wide, its rings would be 10,000 times thinner than a razor blade. Isn't that weird? That's crazy. How does that happen? I don't know.

I had Idris Elba just telling me this late at night, and I was just like, damn. How does that happen? How do they? It doesn't make sense. I don't get it. How do we even know that? Did someone go out there with a meter stick? We're just making shit up, dude.

Nobody knows. So what's next? Let's ask the Space Force. Will you apply to the Space Force? No. They need positions. New administration. I don't think I'm qualified.

Did you guys know that Saturn is predominantly composed of hydrogen and helium? Everybody knows that, David. Like, what's your problem? I bet you didn't. Do all the aliens talk like this? Dude, how tight would that be to, like, you're just there all day, just doing, like, the suck in the air balloon thing? How do we communicate with these dudes?

They don't speak English. Telepathically, dude. What's the endgame with the Galactic Federation? Not that hard. You think I know? Like, are they just trying to... Yeah, what's... Are they just trying to coax us into hanging?

Are they using us? Are they using us? They just want a link. Why don't they send an ambassador over here? It sounds like they have. If there was an ambassador of Mars and everyone knew he was the ambassador of Mars and he came from Mars, wouldn't he be probably the most famous person on Earth or being on Earth? There is the theory that they mimic humans.

They're so advanced they can mimic a human life form. So he might be here. Or she. I talked about it the other day. I was hanging out with aliens the other day while picking up some pastries. You guys remember this? This guy said that Trump was about to reveal these secrets, and then someone talked him out of it, basically.

That's the most believable part of this whole thing. The cherry on top of his entire precedency would just be him just dropping the bag on aliens. Pardon Snowden. Pardon Assange. Release the aliens. How do you feel pardon Assange, release the aliens. How do you feel about Joe Exotic getting pardoned? I feel like he hasn't contributed enough. Have you heard about the number of calls? The one Netflix thing.

Have you heard about the number of calls to the White House regarding getting him pardoned? He's now reached out to Kim Kardashian to see if she can flex her clout and get his attention to pardon him. Apparently his legal team is stopping at nothing to get him pardoned. Like they are just calling constantly trying to get him out.

I put it at, I'd say there's about a 45% chance it happens. I don't think it's likely, but it would not shock me. Give him a medal. I would just like to see what the fit that Joe Exotic would get off at the White House getting a medal from Trump. You've got to think it's a white tux, white cowboy hat. Felt. Yeah.

Yeah. That shit goes hard, man. Speaking of aliens, are you guys aware of our new resident in Austin, Texas? I don't even know if it's Austin, to be fair. Elon. Dude, we got Elon. We picked him up. He's always chilled here, but we finally got him to move here.

Where does he chill? I heard rumors. Whoa. You have inside info? I heard rumors of him chilling at Otoko. Remember the rumor that he was dating Ty Haney? Ty Haney. He used to call you Elf Otoko.

Apparently they were buddies. So this is just purely based on shit that I read about it. Apparently they were buddies, and the reason they hung out wasn't because they were... So this is just purely based on shit that I read about it. Apparently they were buddies and the reason they hung out wasn't because they were romantically involved. It was because they were both starting their businesses and they just had common interests and would hang out.

I mean, no shit. She's a founder of Outdoor Voices, for the record, people. But Elon has officially relocated to Texas from California. He's following the Rogan program. Is anybody moving to Texas and not moving to Austin? I feel like that's, like, moving to Texas is the new, like, I'm moving to Austin.

I wish Dallas and Houston and San Antonio had respective, like, you know, draws. But I think Austin's the one, right, for tech and celebrities? Yeah. Yeah. Seems that way. But I feel like Dallas has its fair share of tech too. I know Tesla has a presence in Austin now, right? Aren't they opening a truck factory nearby? Yeah.

If you just go out on literally any road, you'll see a Tesla with a personalized license plate that says something douchey on it. They have factories here now. Or they're building them. I'm right. Okay. Look it right. Okay. Look it up, bitch. Should I get Sally to get a Tesla?

Sure. There's no doubt that Elon knows something about the Federation. You don't have SpaceX as one of your companies. If there is a Federation, he's in the Federation. Dude, do you think he might be the ambassador? We just don't know it. People really don't like him, though. But the way that he speaks on anything, like, he speaks

like an alien or like some kind of robot. He's a weird, weird dude, but he's a very intriguing person. He's changing the world with his brain, and that's wild to me. Damn. Must be some good brain, man. He's got that good brain. I'm just trying to make stupid jokes.

He's like actually doing shit, you know? You're changing the world. Care to expand on that? One glizzy at a time. I don't think that's what... Okay. There's monoglyphs popping up everywhere. Did we post that?

No, we need to post a lot. One of the funnier ones. I'll be honest. I'm a big fan of WatchedMemia, the tribute account to WatchedMedia. It's okay. And my favorite one by far, no questions asked, was the one of you is the monolith glizzy. That was a good one. Was that one of theirs?

Or his? Hers? Yeah. I have no clue who runs it. You can DM us and we can link and build. I can't bring myself to following it. I think it's just a little bit too weird if I followed the meme account. No, I love it.

It is good, objectively, but I don't want to let it influence me. It's all right. It's great. But now that I know, I got to go look. Dude, they put up a Randy Kane last night. No one's doing Randy Kanes. Okay. Randy's currently chucking a deuce at me.

Not a fan of that. Do we think that we are going to start hanging out with a – who do we have a better chance of going to Matt's El Rancho with, Rogan or Elon? Rogan. It's got to be Rogan. So Rogan, when he has guests on in his new studio, like he did this with James Fox, the director of Phenomenon

and the French guy who is in it. They reference. Teddy? They go to dinner the night before. And I'm thinking in my head, where are they going to dinner? I'm thinking Jeffries. But he talked on the podcast with Dave Chappelle that he hasn't been to very many places yet. It sounds like he's busy.

Yeah, that's true. He also said on Dave Chappelle's episode that he does plan on opening a comedy club in Austin once everything is cleared up. And I could not be happier about that. Dylan, you'll have to do a set there. Hell no. It's all hot dog based humor. That would be a fun bet payoff. You should smash glizzies with a hammer.

I'm not going to be the glizzy Gallagher. No, no, no. You smash watermelons with large glizzies with a hammer. I'm not going to be the glizzy Gallagher. No, no, no. You smash watermelons with large glizzies. That might be the better one. There's no glizzy hard enough to accomplish that. Oh, I beg to differ. You want to see? You ever froze a glizzy?

No. You hear Ted Cruz gave his take on Elon moving to Texas? What did he say? He said, Texas loves jobs, and we're very glad to have you as a Texan. Thank you. I would like to talk to the Galactic Federation and say, I'd love to try some of your queso.

Dude, I bet galactic queso's out of this world. It's probably intergalactic. I'll save that one for Rogan's Comedy Club. I take back what I said earlier about how this was going to be a good episode. This episode stinks. It took us about 26 minutes to beat you down. Hold on. I'm done. How were you planning on saving that one for the comedy club when you just said it on the podcast?

I'm going to bleep it out. Oh, man. There's going to be, when things clear up, when, if, when. I say summer 2021. It's based on my science. There's going to be a lot of Rogan and Elon sightings. Aren't Rogan and Chappelle doing a stand-up thing at Stubbs? Sold out in one minute. Stubbs? Yeah, they're doing like a series of Rogan and Elon sightings. Aren't Rogan and Chappelle doing a stand-up thing at Stubbs? Sold out in one minute.

Stubbs? Yeah, they're doing like a series of shows. Yeah. I know I'm not a power player in Austin because I've never been offered a free ticket to a Chappelle show here. I feel like that's when you know you've made it in Austin. It's like, oh, you get to go to every Chappelle show that he does. Very cool. I would go.

Oh, you'd go to a Dave Chappelle stand-up routine? I know. That's very big of you. You know, you referenced the Rogan pod with Chappelle, but it's not the Chappelle episode, because Chappelle's on, like, the last hour, and it's interrupted multiple times by a completely stoned and drunk Donnell Rawlings, who just derails the entire thing.

So don't listen to that one if you, like you really want to get some good insight from Dave. Who was a bigger nuisance? Donnell Rawlings during his episode of Joe Rogan or me at the Watched Media Holiday Party? You weren't as much of a nuisance as you were a liability. Okay. I would say Donnell. Okay, that makes sense. If they went to Perry's after with Donnell, he was definitely going to order two drinks at the same time on accident.

That's what I'm curious about is what Joe's, like, his go-to place is going to be. He's not a bar guy. He's old. He's 53. He's got kids, family. He's not going to be out with young Jamie. Young Jamie's been getting out. Young Jamie's been getting out and about.

How old's young Jamie? I think he's 14. And Jamie's been getting out and about. How old's young Jamie? I think he's 14. I don't know if Rogan's allowed to employ people that young for this long. Do we have anything else on aliens and or Elon Musk, which are the same thing in my eyes? I want to know where Elon's going to live, man.

I do too. I'm just interested in that. You could use your real estate professional skills. I could use my contacts in the industry. Yeah. Figured this out. I heard he's looking at a pad in Pflugerville. Yeah. I heard the prices here are just too high, so he's thinking about going to Lakeway.

Yeah. Didn't he tweet that he's not going to have a house, though? Or any worldly possessions? Yeah. I don't hate the idea of, if I was that rich, just not having a house. Yeah. I don't want to deal with that shit. Pflugerville, between a rock and a weird place.

That's what they say. Really? Round Rock. Austin. I don't want to deal with that shit. Pflugerville, between a rock and a weird place. That's what they say. Really? Round Rock, Austin. I need to start just visiting some of these places and just see

what they're all about. There's not much in Pflugerville. You really don't. There's not much there. I got COVID tested in Killeen, which is actually

the name of my new country album as well. You got to dig down in Dallas too. Come on. Yeah, I was there. Come on. Yeah, Killeen didn't

have much to offer for me, but you know. Okay, support the troops. There's a base there. Oh, there is? Home of the Kangaroos. To be honestilleen didn't have much to offer for me, but, you know. Okay, support the troops, please. There's a base there. Oh, there is? Home of the kangaroos. To be honest, I didn't know that. I drove straight to the men's total health.

High school is the kangaroos. Seriously? No. Do they have a kangaroo that they let run out during games? Yes. No. How sick would that be? He goes in the stands and just beats the shit out of people.

He puts a football in his pouch and then presents it to the players? That'd be sick. That would be pretty sick. That would be sick. They've got pretty sick. That would be sick. They've got a pretty cool logo. The Killeen Kangaroos? Yeah. The Flukeville Journeys, I believe,

were used for the Dylan Panthers in the show. Dylan Panthers. I believe it's the same exact. They just use their actual uniforms and shit. Oh, my God. I want to be a Killeen Kangaroo so bad. I know that now. I'm going to get, like, a bunch of gear.

I'm going to get, like, a tech polo and, like, a visor and a golf cart. Do they play Georgetown? They might. I'm sure they have to, right? They probably do. They're, like, 45 minutes away. I think they're 5A. Hard to say.

They are in the top 200 metro areas. Shut up. Duncanville actually has a school from Killeen, Harker Heights, tomorrow night at Panther Stadium, 7 p.m. If you guys want to go. Yeah, dude. I'll see you there. Oh, not you.

You're not invited. He'll be at Cougar Stadium. I just did the Happy Gilmore thing to you. Fucking crushed it. Yeah. All right, I'll see you out there. Hey, we're familiar. We've seen the movie.

That's a funny part, man. We're quoting Happy Gilmore. That's a funny part. Can we talk about Raycon real quick? Raycon. I got a Pedley ride off with my Raycons in yesterday that people are going to be talking about for the rest of the holiday season. My killagels might not have been up there, but I was just doing it. What was the stats?

No, the stats weren't good. No one's going to be talking about it. What? No one's going to talk about your Pedley ride. People were talking about it. It was a mediocre ride at best, but the thing that made it actually awesome was the Raycons. These things synced seamlessly with my Peloton, like they always do. Do you think the Galactic Federation tapped Raycon and gave them the technology and the wherewithal to make such a dope product for such an affordable price?

You have to think about it. I doubt there's a connection, but I like where you're going with it. Because it's truly amazing. They do run out of battery eventually, but it says six hours. I feel like it might be amazing. I have yet, they do run out of battery eventually, but it says six hours. I feel like it might be more because I have yet to max out. It's weird. And I listen to them all the time. Yeah, it says six hours. I would put money on it

that mine have never lasted less than six hours. I always think like, man, I should probably charge these things. It's been a while. No. When I go on a six-hour run, they don't run out. No. I do that three times a week. That's a lot of running. Do you have a rucksack on your back, too, and stuff?

Yeah. That's sick. Do you do it barefoot, like ultra marathons? No, I do those shoes that are like the toe shoes. Ray cons are tight, though. Dude. They even call this the silver bullet gift idea. Does the magic bullet approve of this?

I sure do. If you need a go-to gift that makes someone say i don't know hey thanks i needed this i'm actually going to use this uh a pair of raycon earbuds is probably the way to go who hasn't just been like bummed about getting a nice pair of earbuds that have more bass that's what i was impressed with also the bass it's not just true because you get some of these headphones and it's all trebly and you're just like dude i need something that hits i want to i want to feel like i've got some That's what I was impressed with also. The bass. It's not just treble. Because you get some of these headphones and it's all treble-y, and you're just like, dude, I need something that hits. I want it to feel like I've got some Rockford Fosgates in my ears.

I mean, someone gave me a pair of headphones recently, and I was like, man, I knew this was treble when you walked in. Give me some Raycons because I want that bass. I truly don't like you right now. I hate what you just did. The audio quality on these things is just amazing, comparable to what you get from other premium brands, except Raycons. They start about half the price.

If you can get something that's comparable but half the price, normally you would do that. Am I right here? I think so. And if they already have a pair of wireless earbuds and you want to give them a gift, you always need a spare. You're probably going to lose them at some point. Just get them a spare pair. You got to get them a spare pair. I like the little pill box that comes in.

It's easy to have. Bring it to the gym. Open it up. Open it up. Raycon. Love it. Power on. Connected.

Raycon's being very generous for the holidays. So on top of their everyday great prices, they're offering our listeners 15% off right now. Go to buyraycon.com slash steam today to get 15% off your Raycon order. That's buyraycon.com slash steam. Buyraycon.com slash steam today to get 15% off your Raycon order. That's buyraycon.com slash steam. Buyraycon.com slash steam. See, we got Lions getting COVID now. What? I'm not happy about this.

I don't like that this story's on here. I'm sorry. I put it on here. I thought we'd be remiss to not talk about it. Four Lions at the Barcelona. You've been to Europe. been to europe yeah i went to barcelona my senior year of high school was very chill uh have tested positive for covid19 veterinary veterinary authorities say on tuesday it's only the second known case in which large

felines have contracted the virus three females named zala nima and run run and cayumbe a male were tested after the keepers noticed they were showing slight symptoms of coronavirus. Oh, no. What were the simps? I don't know. How do you look at a lion and be like, man, he's got simpies right now? Oh, I can't smell this gutted fish you just gave me or whatever. This meat tastes like shit.

There's no taste to it. This horse that Joe Exotic just killed, I can't even taste it. It's part of Walmart meat. It has no flavor. They're just coughing. They carried out PCR tests on these things in the same way that humans are tested. Is it weird that they test these things the same way that we get tested? What's the PCR test again?

I don't know. I haven't been PCR tested yet. Is anyone in here? They're like, all right, run, run. Sit on your paws. Yep. It's gonna hurt real quick. It tickles. It's gonna feel like it's touching your brain. I'm not the kind of one to stick that Q-tip way up a lion's

nose. I'm gonna give you a Kleenex and you might want to blow your nose after. That's what they tell me. Is it what they tell you? Can you do the oral swab? What would you rather do? The oral swab of a lion? Like would you rather do the oral swab of a lion? Like you have to do the swabbing or the nose? Obviously the swab, man.

Is it obvious? If you stick a thing way up a lion's nose, it's going to get upset. And you don't want to piss off the lion. Yeah, but what if you have like a ski pole that you put it on and you do it from afar? I could use the same ski pole for the mouth swab. When they do the mouth swab, does it just swab your cheeks and stuff? It's just less invasive. Yeah, it's the gums and cheek

and roof of your mouth and tongue. I thought it was weird that they did your swab with a glizzy. Weirdly, they didn't, David. They just used a Q-tip. It doesn't seem like the science is sound. No, they didn't use a glizzy. That'd be really strange.

So can I ask a question that I thought about the other day regarding animals getting COVID? We're objectively lucky that dogs don't get COVID, right? Do they not? How do we know they don't? There's been cats that I think have gotten it, but I don't think there's been notable cases of dogs. If there have, there have been very few.

If the CDC had told us early on in the pandemic that we needed to put masks on our dogs, would you be masking your dog up before you go for a walk? Dude, Randy tried to put your mask on this morning second randy walked in the studio he just put his nose in my mask no it's a boopy nose you're fine true dog would not let that dog wouldn't let that happen like rosie would just have to stay inside at all times yeah i mean i would i would still take stella on walks without the mask. There have been people at the dog park who are weird about early on they were like petting, like you petting their dog or their dog like coming up to you. It's like, it's fine. I'm not really worried about getting it from your dog.

Were you worried early on in the pandemic about touching other people's dogs? I didn't know what to do. Well, yeah. The first time I was like, is it okay if I pet your dog? Is it okay if I Boop your dog And give it a nasal swab We all do the exact same Like oh

You mind If I Yay Dylan doesn't pet Other people's dogs Are you the guy Like when like a dog Comes up to you

At the dog park You're just looking At your phone And you're like Get the fuck away from me It's funny Because Dylan ignores Randy I pet other people's dogs

But I never know How clean other people's dogs are So I always go Wash my hands Immediately after Damn Wow Some people don't Bathe their dogs Very frequently dogs, but I never know how clean other people's dogs are, so I always go wash my hands immediately after. Damn, man. Some people don't bathe their dogs very frequently.

That's fair. It's hard to get a grooming appointment. I just do it myself. You groom yourself? You groom the dog yourself? I bathe her myself. That's not grooming, is it? It's part of the grooming process. It's part. I like but when i hear groom i think there has to be uh some hair being cut what people that complain about how much it

costs to get your dog's hair cut it's like dude shut up okay it there are places though that are in austin especially the closer you get to downtown unsurprisingly it's very pricey but dude like dogs like shit and stuff. Like they could possibly bite you. Like it should cost more, right? I don't know. They should do it on a dog by dog basis. Does your dog... They're like, oh, Rosie's chill.

Rosie's like 50 bucks. Does she get a report card after? No, I kind of would like that though. Rosie is very relaxed when it comes to getting her hair cut and things like that. She freezes up and doesn't know what to do because she's like scared shitless. Got it. Yeah. I raised a beta dog.

It would be a real beating to try to wash and cut hair of a dog that's just wild. Scared, shaking. You don't know if it's going to bite you or not. So yeah, that's fair. If Randy develops like a hardcore cough, are you taking him to get COVID tested? Now that we know that humans get tested the same way as lions? Yeah. I'll sign him up.

Can dogs get it or not? Can dogs get COVID is a Google search that I just did. What's your guess? A small number of pets worldwide, including cats and dogs, have been reported to get infected with the virus that causes COVID-19, mostly after close contact with people with COVID-19. Infected pets might get sick or they might not have any symptoms at all. Okay. There you go. This is a callback to Too Much Dib, but do you think you gave COVID to that dolphin

that you kissed back in the day? Since I never had COVID, I doubt it. No. Plus that was like... It was actually on my... It was on my honeymoon. So this was 2011 and I don't think COVID was a thing. What's the most kissable animal, Will, in your opinion? Well, we've actually brought the dolphin in to discuss.

Oh, no. I don't like that. Oh, you just woke up Randy. I don't like that. He was having a problem. He was a big dolphin guy. The most kissable animal? Dogs love dolphins.

It's a bottlenose dolphin. They're best friends. You think the most kissable animal is a dolphin? It's definitely the most kissable sea creature. You're not kissing sea turtles? No. Lose a nose. I'm not kissing a turtle.

It's got to be a chimpanzee, right? What? What? As it rips your wiener off and stuffs it in your mouth? Pulls your fingers off? Yeah, but they got those cushy lips. Yeah, but they rip your wiener off. Chimps have good lips, objectively.

Would you trade a good make-out sesh for your wiener? I doubt it. I don't know. I was thinking a beaver or an otter. Dude, they're very teethy. I know, but they look like stuffed animals. No, you don't want that smoke. Yeah, but dolphins are eating raw fish and shit.

Their breath probably smells like shit. Dude, they're so cute, man. Are they? They literally rape. They're the only animals that rape. Let's not go there. I don't know.

There's a lot of animals that do it, unfortunately. Like ducks. Heard of that? No. Don't taint ducks for me, dude. You know I love ducks.

Ducks might low-key be kissable. No, ducks... You're not going to get anything out of that kiss from a duck. So wait, does Shido own ducks

and chickens? I don't know. I think the ducks just kind of come... The ducks just hang out? Yeah. You don't own ducks. Ducks don't ducks and chickens? I don't know. I think the ducks just kind of come. The ducks just hang out? Yeah. Okay. You don't own ducks.

That's what I was thinking. What's the purpose of the ducks? I mean, it is dope to have ducks. Don't get me wrong. Oh, no. I would like to have ducks at some point. I would love to have a duck that just chills with me. A mallard one with like a cool green head?

Yeah. Yeah. A male mallard. Very pretty birds. Yeah. The mallard. Males specifically. Yeah yeah much more colorful sorry can't wait to apologize can't wait to blast them out of the sky though yeah sick

early bro i still don't think based on the shape of everything under a christmas tree i don't think sally got me the shotgun that i asked for for christmas oh maybe it's not maybe it's taken apart maybe she got you like a like duck hunt though so there's a little shot i don't want duck hunt i want to kill actual things what if she got you a tippmann pro paintball gun 98 custom i'd be fine with that if she got me an airsoft gun like i'd be really happy that would be a satisfactory like gift i asked for a spider compact but i don't think i'm gonna get it is that just a small spider no yeah actually i want a drone too we were talking yesterday we need to invest in a drone we're getting a drone we need drone technology is that like that's got to be so the federation and what they're waiting to see from

humanity before they like make their big announcement like we're here um are they like is do they have have a checklist? And when they saw the first drone go up, they're like, okay. Now what are they waiting for? World peace? Climate change initiatives? I don't know what they're waiting for

because I don't know what's been done already. I don't know if we're sending humans out there. Wait for Trump to concede. It's the nuclear stuff. They'll be out after the election. Just like COVID's gone. Why do they need Trump to concede? People are very hostile right now.

Yeah, they're like, whoa. They were like one foot in. And they're like, whoa. Hey, no. It's getting a little hot down there. Let's just hang out. Yep. Yep.

How are they going to announce it? Like via song, maybe? They're going to do a press conference. And they're going to have an alien sitting there answering questions. TikTok, likely. Like a TED Talk? They're going to do a press conference and they're going to have an alien sitting there answering questions. Tick tock, likely. Like a TED talk? Tick tock. Oh.

The little alien comes out with a headpiece on. He's doing like a motivational TED talk talking about like his struggle through the galaxy, how he persevered. And now he's the head of the Federation. It's really stupid. Who would be... Conahe. Yeah. I was going to say, who's the best ambassador?

Earth ambassador? To the Federation. Elon. No, he's too wild. Twitter fingers. No, but he would identify with them. You know what I mean? I don't think so.

Dude, it's not. Dude, you need someone that's already part alien. No. No. I think it should be Owen alien. Wow. No. No. I think it should be Owen Wilson. Wow. Wow. Wow.

That's really cool. Oh, wow. Alien. Who's the most beloved human being on the planet? Tom and Luke. I feel like Tom Hanks is kind of like, his stock is kind of like- No, Chet. Maintaining right now.

Chet's too much of a liability. It's not going to be Chet Hanks. You can't have Chet out there. Chet pops into the Zoom call in the background while Tom's trying to get shit done with the aliens. That's not going to work. Oh, dude, how quickly is he going to appropriate alien culture? Quick.

Dude, Chet's already a problem. He's going to get surgery to make his eyes bigger and shit. Oh, people might do Chet. No, you can't. He's getting cranial implants to make it look like he's got a big-ass dome. It's going to be lit when we finally find out. So lit. Yeah, but what if it's, like, weird?

What if they, like, eat a lot and, like, they want to go to, like, a group dinner with you and then you're like, I don't want to split a bill with this fucking alien. He's got to put down the plastic. What if they are, like, all right. They love points. What if, like, they don't make a big announcement, but, like, somebody with the Pentagon, someone, like, current, some generals, yes. A president, even.

Yes, there are extraterrestrials who are visiting this planet currently. That's really weird. It's not going to necessarily change your day-to-day, but you're going to be going to dinner and be like, oh, aliens? It's all going to be a big tease until we actually get video of one of them. You know? I want to actually see these dudes. Yeah, but even if we get video, like, I want 4K, like, high-dev video. I want to shake hands with one.

Little alien hands? Yeah. Beep. They're little guys. How you doing? Are you sure? Yeah, they're little fellas. They're like third graders.

Are you just referring to the men in black aliens right now? No, I'm not. Oh, what are you referring to? The documentary I just watched. Oh, okay. They all describe them as very small people. Not people, but very small beings. What grade is Parks in?

He's in kindergarten. And he's 43 inches tall. Do you know if he's an alien? Yes. But how are we supposed to explain the aliens to our kids? I watched his birth from a human. Kids are, if anything, kids are like more ready to hear about aliens than we are. Yeah, kids won't even think it's a big deal.

They'll be like, all right, so I just got my nephew some shoes for Christmas. They came in yesterday and they're sick. Did you get him an alien workshop deck? On my Air Force One mids, all whites. Let's fucking go, dude. let's fuck you grow out of them in like two months yeah yeah yeah he's 10 yes he's small he's a small feet parks got ton of J's man how old's parks he's five he'll be six in February that's time still will be one is he familiar with the concept of aliens like

his ever watched alien movies? I think I was watching Independence Day as a young kid. Aliens aren't really on his radar at the moment. They're on ours. He's much more of a dinosaur guy, as we all know. What a waste of time. Does he not know that the aliens kill the dinosaurs? He doesn't know that, no.

Maybe that's why he's anti-alien. I'm going to just start explaining him, like, the most wild-ass theories about how the dinosaurs died. Oh, he's pretty much sold on an asteroid at this point. Eh. He knows shit about dinosaurs. He's crazy. I'm not sold on it. What are his other theories?

I think most scientists are sold on that theory. Parks-Lazar? No, that's the only one he's really into. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Tight. I heard it was just undercooked chicken. Just wiped them all out?

Just wiped them. They're like, oh, dude. Oh, dude, I almost didn't make it. I look like I'm dead. That's what that dinosaur said when they died. Food poisoning wiped out the entire dinosaur race. So they spoke English? Yeah, correct.

Is there proof that they didn't speak English? Probably, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how we got here from the Spanish lions contracting COVID, but I'm glad we got here. It always comes back to aliens, man. It does. When a story like this

happens, you just have to know that it's going to weave itself in and out of the entire episode. I just want to see one. Much like the aliens in our atmosphere. Mm-hmm. Now I'm thinking about it. Pardon me? John Mayer. You think he's an alien? He's in your atmosphere. Okay. I know. I could see

him being an alien. He wouldn't be a bad ambassador. Like a Russell Brand? No. Russell Brand? I don't hate Russell Brand. Drake? He's't be a bad ambassador. Like a Russell Brand? No. Russell Brand? I don't hate Russell Brand. He's a good guest on Rogan. He's kind of a little much. Can you imagine Drake throwing an alien concert? His first ambassador thing.

He's like, no, I'm going to throw a party. Aliens love Drake. Yeah, how can you not? Is he talking about him and Lil Wayne, like a collab with the aliens? Well, Lil Wayne's been on record saying that he is not a human, right? Right. He is a Martian. Yeah.

That's tight. Martian's room? Dude. Somebody photoshopped that. When you look down on that hotline bling and it's a Galactic Federation, you're like, oh. You got to take this. You got to take this one Got to take this one. I'm going to FaceTime him.

Dude, what are y'all doing? It's good. Did you know that the Saturn rings aren't made of gas? It's actually frozen rock. What if he's just been telling us this the entire time? What if God's plan is truly just the aliens coming from the space confederation? Let's go. That's an interesting

thing, is what, how traditional religious beliefs are affected by the emergence of a new species. An interdimensional time traveler, if you will. I guess one of the reasons the government's keeping him under wraps, you know. Among many others. True. True., you know, among many others.

True. True. They know shit. There's a theory that, so that they're not from like another planet. It's just like from another dimension. It's like very advanced humans. I buy into the theory of them being from a different dimension

more than I buy into them like a normal being, being on some planet that we already know about. Agree. I think I agree with that. Okay. Although I'm not smart enough to comprehend other dimensions. I don't get it.

Correct. So they're from Earth. I don't get that. Via another dimension you're saying. Very dumb. Yeah. Welcome to Earth. Like I don't think they're from the Milky Way galaxy.

I think they're from somewhere else. I think they're probably from the Baby Ruth galaxy. I just want to do jokes. What if that was what they said? We are from the Butterfinger galaxy. Y'all play too much. Don't lay a finger on our galaxy. Y'all play too much.

I mean, there's literally a Mars bar. Makes you think. They never had a Mars bar. Makes you think. I've never had a Mars bar. God, you're so fucking annoying. What's even in a Mars bar? Space rock. Gas. This is so stupid.

Nougat. Caramel. I'd fuck with both of those. Heavy, actually. Maybe you could be a Mars guy Wait that's You just get from Mars? That's what a Milky Way is

Okay I think some of these things are very similar What's the difference between a Mars bar and a Milky Way? The name Will So one of my Back to the phenomenon I'm not going to spoil it But what if I told you there are

Documented cases of unknown spacecraft I'm not going to spoil it but what if I told you there are documented cases of unknown spacecraft hovering above our most highly protected military facilities say the ones that house our nuclear weapons and that have

switched off the controls and like no one knows what's going on took them offline took them offline what if you told me that what if I told you that would that be like yeah I'll go pay $4.99 to watch that and no one knows what's going on. Took them offline. Took them offline. What if you told me that?

What if I told you that? Would that be like, yeah, I'll go pay $4.99 to watch this? I'm going to go watch. I'm going to watch. I promise you. If it sucks, I'll refund your money. Will to freeze only. That does not go for everyone out there. Brett, your friend Zah, he was like, he saw the shit.

Yeah, he was there. Don't spoil this. He was there, but did he actually? Yeah. Was he there there? I listened to it. Because the craft landed on the outer

skirts of the playground area of the school. Y'all, stop! Why? Because I haven't seen it yet. Yeah, I don't want to spoil it completely. Now I know there's an alien spacecraft that lands outside of a Zimbabwean school. You need to know that. Can we talk about stamps.com? Just nip this in the bud right now?

Whatever. Well, like stamps.com and just nip this in the bud right now? Whatever. You can ship some things to fucking Mars, you fucking dork. No, they don't deliver to Mars, Dylan. Let's start the read now. Stamps.com. This holiday season, more people will be mailing stuff more than ever. That means that the post office is going to be busy. Oh, yeah.

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it's a fraction of the cost of those expensive postage meters. We're at the age now where we have to send Christmas cards and stuff. I'm going to need all the stamps. Yeah, I sent some, and I think you guys probably threw them out. Yeah, man. Brett told me legit he threw mine out. Yeah, it's probably in the trash.

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That's stamps.com. Enter circling back stamps.com. never go to the post office again can i steam real quick oh boy do you have the effect no hold on you want to use the one that too much dip used in the first episode the sizzle effect that's me cracking a towel on Dave's bare ass. Randy's wondering why I'm over here getting just cracked. Randy's going to smell like wet dog for a little bit after being in the steam room. Dave's ass just has welts all over it. Did you stop?

Why are you putting welts? That's animal abuse. No, on Dave's ass. Oh, I thought you were talking about Randy. I've never hurt Randy. Yeah, I was like, why are you whipping Randy? Are you kidding? I just want to hug Randy.

Jesus. No, you ignore Randy. Oh, bullshit thought you were talking about Randy. I've never heard Randy. Yeah, I was like, why are you whipping Randy? Are you kidding? I just want to hug Randy. Jesus. I'm just going to whip his dad's ass. You ignore Randy. Oh, bullshit, David. Randy knows I'm a real one. Do you guys see what's in my hands right now? Yeah, it's a new phone, dude. We get it.

It's a new iPhone. It's an iPhone 16. Oh, you got three cameras. How did you do the thing where you, I thought you were supposed to have that phone for like two weeks. So, I ordered this phone probably, was that for the license retweets? A month ago. Cloud. Cloud Chase. They were. So I ordered this phone probably a month ago. Cloud chasing. Probably a month ago I ordered this phone thinking that, like, I don't know,

they probably produce a lot of these things. They probably come in pretty quick. And so I'm in the Apple upgrade system or program, whatever it is. Must be nice. It actually is very nice, yeah. So I get the notification that I've been charged for all this stuff, which is fine. You buy something, you got to get charged for it. And then it tells me that they're sending me two packages.

One has my phone in it, and it's going to be delivered by December 22nd. The other package is the box that you put your old phone in to exchange with them. Well, they start sending me notifications nonstop saying, saying like you need to return your phone now it's like well i don't have the other damn phone in my hand why do they want it so bad just fucking calm down i'm buying your new shit i'm gonna buy your shit for the rest of my life you have me in your in your network god so i'm getting all these notifications and i'm like i can't send my other phone back i have this i don't have the other phone yet because of you guys like what am i supposed to do so yesterday while we're sitting here in the studio, we actually had a nice little meeting yesterday.

I get a notification to my phone that says, your phone has been delivered. Unfortunately for me, my other phone is supposed to be back there today. Well, newsflash, it's not back there. I'm probably going to get fined or something like that. When's the last time you set up a new iPhone? When I got this one, which was two and a half years ago. Two to three years. What'd you do?

Did you set it next to each other? Yeah. They linked and build it? Dude, it was a struggle. I couldn't get it to work. Dude. I hate this shit. Not only could I not get it to work tomorrow, but, or sorry, yesterday, but it somehow locked

me out of my new phone, even though my new phone had service, and it took the service out of my new phone even though my new phone had service and it took the service away from my old phone so i'm sitting here with a locked phone that i have no access to but it has sir it's got 5g like cool it doesn't fucking help me apple and i have another phone that just has wi-fi and so i'm just sitting here like what the fuck do i do i can't call customer service i'm on the phone for two hours with them. Or sorry, I'm online for two hours with them. I finally get something working. I'm on the phone for another hour.

I spent my entire afternoon yesterday just trying to get this damn iPhone thing done. Then I sign on Twitter and I see that Apple's dropped some $550 headphones 10 days before Christmas. What's your fucking problem, Apple? What? $550? Have you not seen these headphones? Those are much more expensive than Raycon. AirPod Max is what they're called.

If someone offers you Raycons versus a $550 pair of freaking Apple things, what are you taking? They're also kind of ugly. Ooh. What are they called? I need to look these up. AirPods Max. Which, they're not AirPods. Like, they're just giant headphones.

Just call them headphones. Call them headies. I'm just sitting here. I'm like, dude, Tim Apple, what's your problem? Yeah. Like, why are you doing this to me? So what I, eventually, it's like dark outside. I've been setting up my phone since, man, you started getting their ass kicked like four hours ago.

I'm just getting my dick kicked in yesterday. Did they get relegated? No. I mean, essentially, yeah. They're out of the Champions League and now they're playing fucking Europa League. Dude, get a case for that phone. You're making me, you're pissing me off with it let me finish my seat so naked so at the same time i ordered my phone what do you naturally do you order a case for it yeah for some

reason my order for the case is still processing in some apple plant somewhere so now i have this phone tree oh you got an official apple case yes because they have the little magnetic thing on the back that you can put a wallet on and shit i want want that. I don't want to carry a wallet. Oh, I've always kind of wanted that. But then if you lose your phone, you lose everything. But you know how, like, when Apple releases a new phone, your battery starts going down naturally? Your phone starts having issues? Oh, yeah.

Tell me that Big Apple is not, like, messing with us by sending the cases, like, five days after. They're asking me to shatter this thing day one. It's slippery. My phone has started to shatter this thing day one. It's slippery. My phone has started to lag. Big tech, man. Big time. Makes you think. All I'm saying out there is that if you upgraded the iPhone 12, just know that it's going to

be a process. All I ask is that my technology works perfectly every single time I use it. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so. It's a lot to ask. I don't think it's too much to ask. What's fun is logging back into every single app that I have. That sucks.

That's enough for me to not get a new phone. Even if we didn't work in the industry that we work in, it would still be a beating. But how many passwords and everything we have to have within our company, it's just miserable trying to get all this shit done. Dave's getting confirmation emails, shit that he has to approve me for. It's just a beating. I'm out. Do you want my phone, Dylan? Take it. I'll take it. I don't want it anymore. Thank. I'm out. Do you want my phone, Dylan? Take it.

Yeah, I'll take it. I don't want it anymore. Thank you. How are the picks you're getting off, though? I've taken one pick with it, and it was in the pitch black room of a candle. It's pretty clean. Of course it was.

Yeah, I haven't really experimented too much with it. Yeah. It hasn't really changed much since my phone, though, has it? The process of yesterday took all the excitement out of actually getting a new phone. It was just like a beating. I thought it was going to be really fun for Christmas, have an enjoyable time. Poor Will.

I'm sorry, buddy. We're all thinking about you in this troubling time. I couldn't even post my pics from the ice cream thing we went to yesterday. Oh, dude. Yeah, people were talking about that. It backed up my phone from the night before instead of doing it from the actual phone itself. So I lost all my pics. I'm going back this weekend.

That ice cream hit different. I'm picking up a pecan pie from there. Shout out. Is it spelled Gotti or Gaddy? I don't know how to say it. G-A-T-I. Gotti. Gotti.

Yeah. You want my good news? Oh, sure. You got your test results back. You're 100% that gliss. That's a dumb. Came out of nowhere. That's dumb and out of context, and I hate you.

What were you going to say, though, Dylan? I forgot. It doesn't matter anymore. I told you I had good news. That was not good news. I'm not even a glizzy. I'm a human being. The test says you are.

I know it's only like 99% positive. So where are you at with Apple right now as we speak? Where I'm at with Apple right now is that my phone has been dropped off at FedEx location, and I'm just sitting here praying that as long as it gets scanned by today that I'm not going to get – if it doesn't get scanned, they're going to charge me for the full price of my old phone or something. Man, they wouldn't do that. I don't know. No, they definitely would.

They're scum. Yeah. I could just buy some AirPods Max with that money. Do they still have the nets around their work environment so people don't jump off and kill themselves? Is that a thing that they have? Yes. They built a spaceship. Yes.

As I struggle to look this up and verify. Like in factories overseas and shit? Yeah. Is it a little cocky of them to charge $550 for their AirPod Max? Their chargers are like $95. I mean,

the place is a rip. It's shameless, but we're all so connected to it at this point that we can't get out. Because we're all just loyal sheep

and their shit's dope, so we're like, yeah, fuck it. Here, take my money. Why couldn't Blackberry do what Apple did? What? Grow.

Make dope products? Yeah, not fail. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, Apple runs the show, man. what grow make dope products yeah not fail oh yeah yeah Apple runs the show man fucking losers if you think about everything a phone does

like it's worth every penny and then and then a lot more it's a computer yes I know my mom's like it's your lifeline

to the outside world my mom's like why'd you get a new phone cause I'm selling my parents plan I get Venmo'd every month for it it's really sick oh damn yeah but my mom my mom hit me up yesterday she's like why'd you get a new phone? Cause I'm still my parents plan. I get Venmo'd every month for it. It's really sick. Yeah.

But my mom, my mom hit me up yesterday. She's like, why'd you get a new phone? I'm like, mom, no, it's not the time.

I'm trying to figure this shit out. I had to call her back this morning and apologize. I was like, why did you talk to your mom and the waffle fries? I was angry, dude. I'd been, I'd been sitting there for three hours trying to get this thing souped up.

Not to add insult, but didn't man, you contribute as well. Yes. The second I started setting up my new phone was the second the game started. They got scored on within two minutes. That's not good. And so it was just a death march for me yesterday during that game.

I was actually hoping to get some work done during that game and enjoy myself. No, I just talked to – the girl's name that I actually talked to, her name was Fatty on the Apple support site. She's a real one. I wonder if she had one. You know what? At least you were talking to a real person. Yes. Well, you think.

This could have been. No, it was a real person. I had to make some jokes to keep her online because I was a little worried she was going to get tired of me. At one point, she's like, it's really easy from here on out. Do you mind if I go? And I said, no, I need to keep you here. This has gone very poorly. Wow.

You wanted some more Fatty. I just need someone to chat And I said, no, I need to keep you here. This has gone very poorly. Wow. You wanted some more fatty. I just need someone to chat with. Yeah, I just need someone to talk to. Cops of the Rose. Can we do Randy's surprise segment? Oh, God. Did he ever verify if he needs a mic or not? Randy's requesting a mic right now from Brett.

Brett's been cucked. Hey, guys. Oh, hey, man. What are you doing, Randy? Oh, wow. Dylan's going to feeled. Hey, guys. Oh, hey, man. What are you doing, Randy? Oh, wow. Dylan's going to feel like a real jerk after this one. Oh, no. So in the holiday spirit, I got a little gift for you guys.

Oh, Randy. Oh, Randy. Go ahead and pass those out, Brett. Yeah, sure. Oh, now you feel like a big jerk, don't you? Are these floppy disks? Oh. Go ahead and open them.

Are we opening these? Okay, we're opening all these at the same time? I think they're ornaments. Whoa! Oh, Randy! Randy got us some big cat ornaments. Hey, that's pretty cool, man. Randy, I'm not gonna lie, you kind of went off with this. You can even smell the wood. That's tight.

So here's the thing. There's a little more to this. There can even smell the wood. That's tight. So here's the thing. There's a little more to this. There's more to it? Well, it's just those. But I made four of them for you guys. One for myself. That's five. I made a six one for the studio because I thought we were going to decorate.

Dylan shut that down. We could decorate. And because I'm apparently just really stupid and don't know how to count, they're not letting me in the Galactic Federation. I made a seventh one on accident. You should send it to a lucky listener. Oh. Instagram giveaway time.

Wow. Oh, my God. Should we give it to the person that has the best drink tonight? He's eating your freaking thing. He's going to eat your ornament, dude. What are you doing, Randy? Randy, let me be the first to say thank you. I appreciate this.

I can't wait to put this on my tree. That is very thoughtful of you. Much appreciated. Either Instagram giveaway or give it to the tree tonight. Happy hour. I don't know. We got a seventh one. Give it to a lucky listener.

Man. Stuff like this, it really makes your tree pop. Is this ornament sufficient? Oh, pop. Makes it pop. Is this ornament sufficient? Oh, yeah. This is a big-time ornament. Do you feel bad for shaming his segment? What I recommend to you guys is take a permanent marker and put the year on the back. Real small.

Just so you know. This is something I do. A little touch. You're like, oh, I remember I got this in 2013 type thing. That's a good move. That's a good dad move. It is. I know.

I'm just giving you an example, David. All right. Hey, buddy. You know it's still not 2013. Randy, you're very cool. More importantly than the GIF, It's 2020. It is. I know. I'm just giving you an example, David. All right. Hey, buddy. You know it's still not 2013. Randy, you're very cool. More importantly than the GIF, which is awesome. Good job, Randy. I looked over at Randy's screen to see what he was possibly doing, and I just saw there's

like a giant rattlesnake on his screen. I just wanted to say that. I thought you were about to do some kind of random snake segment. That's just for breaking news. Sneaky. Oh, my bad. It's okay. Let's do This Weekend in Fun presented by Liquid IV.

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Well, I thought you'd never ask. Thank you, Will. Friday, I'm really excited. That's because I'm doing nothing except hanging out with Parks. I got the homie. We're going to be chilling. It's getting more difficult to keep explaining to him that because of COVID, we can't really go out and do much, which is kind of tough.

He wants us to go mob and link and shit. Trying to hit Woodrow's? What does doing the club I do he just wants to step out and what's good like Dave and Buster's and you know like he he likes he likes he likes fun stuff what will I don't know you know that meme guy that's like I'm about to bust come on my five I just thought about that there's Dave and Buster's five years after hey. Dog Randy liked that one. Unfortunately, he goes back to his mom on Saturday morning. But for me, that means I have a wide open weekend.

What? Does his mom know that Saturday's for the boys? Oh, what a bummer. I know. I need to fill her in on that little detail. Yeah, that seems kind of. But that's what I was like on Saturday when I hit you up about the place that we were going, I was like, is Allie going?

Because I'm trying to tell Alyssa, like, you've got to get it to her head. I plan to wrap up my Christmas shopping, no pun intended. I'm going to finish that, get ready for Christmas. So are you finishing your Christmas shopping, or are you wrapping the stuff that you bought? Both. Okay. Both. I have a few more things to buy and a little bit more wrapping to do

but the Christmas tree underneath, I should say, is starting to fill in. Got presents under there looking good. Looking very festive. Jolly. I will say that now that I have my first ever Christmas tree that's solely mine, it makes me shop faster

so that I can get things under the tree. I never thought that that would happen. I'm usually like a December 20th, like, oh, I should probably overnight something. I have a couple more people to buy for. That's pretty much it. So if you're looking to link at some point, you have my number. My phone works, I think. Oh, Will's phone. Yeah, my new phone's not really doing very well, so it might be hard for me to get in

touch with you, dude. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm sorry, man. And I wasn't getting good service out there. I'm sorry. Well, I'll just come by if that's cool and just see what you're doing. I'm probably going to drop this and shatter it. I know where you live, so I'll just come by.

Nah, dude, we're actually moving this weekend. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. Where are you moving to? Can I get the Addy? Dude.

I'll help you. Yeah, dude. Sal will get in touch with you. Sal will get in touch, dude. Anyway, let me know. Will said, I'm helping Will move. probably go on a Houston, aren't you? No, I'm helping Will move. He says he's paying me more than you did.

You're going to make him ride in the back of a trailer? Well, I actually hired college honks to do it. I can't wait to hire those guys. They assigned me Brett, and I was like, okay, cool. I'm going to hire them and have nothing to move. They're going to come over and be like, all right, where are the boxes? I'm like, no, they're just going to chill with me for a little bit. Yeah, dude.

Boom boxes out back. Grab a beer. Grab a Vizzy. Just some honks from college. Moving my shit around. Anyway, Dave, what are you doing this weekend? You just need to move a dresser from here to there? Yeah.

We got invited to play golf Friday morning. That's still happening, right? Oh, yeah. Okay. Weather's, we'll see. It's west, so I think we'll be okay. Might be a little bit drizzly, but. I hope y'all Oh, yeah. Okay. Weather's, we'll see. It's west, so I think we'll be okay. Might be a little bit drizzly, but I hope y'all get rained on. Okay.

Barring lightning, I'm playing regardless. I hope it's not bad enough to where you have to cancel it, but I hope it's bad enough to where it ruins your time and you play terribly because it's windy and wet and all that. Okay. What the fuck's your problem, dude? You suck lately. You're wearing the hat.

We'll get you another one if you want. No, it's good. I'm good. You actually weren't invited anyway, so. I'm pretty sure you invited me. I was mainly talking to these guys. But yeah, we're playing golf. And that's about all I got planned.

I'm supposed to be in Scottsdale for a bachelor party, and I'm a little sad about it because I've never been to Scottsdale. I don't know. I feel like the weather is always dope there. It is. I just wanted to go. It definitely is. I know there's some –

It's dry heat. It's just different. You can wear shorts when it's cold because your legs don't get cold. My legs don't get cold. They just don't get cold. It doesn't matter. I can't wait to wear pants on the course on Friday. Oh, yeah.

I did it Friday after Thanksgiving, and it felt nice. I played markedly better with pants on. It's just the best. Yeah, not a lot planned. Just laying low. I don't know. I might go to Dave & Buster's or something with Parks. That's cool.

Is Dave & Buster's even open? I don't think it is. No. You've got to think the games there aren't very COVID-friendly. Right. That's the thing. Mm-hmm. Surfaces, you know.

Dude, I love Dave and Buster's. Never been still. Let me know. We got DDR. Yeah. And Revolution X. Do they have dropped the bomb? They have dropped or throw that ass in a circle.

I'd be doing that anyway. Yeah, fuck yeah. They have the body-ody-ody-ody one. Know that one? What's the bullet doing You have the body-ody-ody-ody one? You know that one? What's the bullet doing this weekend? Golf then H-Town. Oh, are you going straight from golf to H-Town? I'm going straight from golf to H-Town, yes.

I like that. Oh, you might want to get mixed in a shower, huh? I'll mix in a shower, but then I'm going to H-Town. Yeah. El Tiempo's already lined up. Oh, that sounds great. That sounds great. LT, the patio one. I'm kind of on the same thing as you guys. I. Oh, that sounds great. That sounds great. LT, the patio one.

I'm kind of on the same thing as you guys. Except for Dylan. Are you trying to link on Saturday or Sunday? I'm golfing. I'm not. And then, yeah, Saturday and Sunday, I don't really have any plans. I would love it if some of my presents would arrive so that I could wrap them. I would really like to do that.

Do you have a wrapping party? Like a freestyle battle? With your bougie ass wrapping paper? Dude, I don't have bougie ass wrapping paper. I don't know. He said he got it from like fucking Michael's. I went to Hobby Lobby. Is it I'm a late?

No. I went to Hobby Lobby and I bought a bunch of plaid stuff that looks pretty bomb. And then we went, okay, we did go somewhere a little bougier to get some stuff. How do you say that brand, by the way? I don't really know. I'm a Leon Dier to get some stuff. How do you say that brand, by the way? I don't really know. I'm mainly on Dior. Something like that. We did go to Paper Source and we copped some really expensive stuff on accident.

And when Sally tried to wrap one gift with it, it ran out. Ooh. I was like, that was a good way to spend $14. Man, I get money at Target. But I don't even know how to know how much wrapping paper is supposed to cost. How do you figure that thing out in life? Go to Target, Neil. That's pretty much baseline stuff.

Okay, that makes sense. I probably should have known. Target's a great store for that kind of stuff. Whatever. I don't have anything else going on this weekend, so maybe I'll link and build with you, Dylan. We'll see. Let's go. We'll see.

Let's go. Brett, you got any breaking news for us before we get out of here uh will as a matter of fact i do thanks for asking dylan a little choose your adventure here if you're uh so inclined what do you want to go german snakes 2024 olympics or mount everest oh mount everest mount everest this is an interesting one to me sure uh mount ever Everest grew. Dylan? I heard. They're officially announcing the new height of Mount Everest is 29,032 feet, which is almost a meter

higher than had been previously calculated. What if there was a dating app for mountains, and they just lie about how tall they are? Well, now you've got a boost. What do you think about that, Randy? What if it's just on his tippy toes like Micah? Himalaya, you know? Micah just got posted going to a cryo chamber with Brad.

Yeah. And he's not on his tippy toes. I'm kind of bummed about it. That's my cryo place there. Next to Brad, you need to. He's a tall fella. He's a big boy. Why are Mike and Brad doing cryo?

I don't know. Anyway. Why don't you cry about it? I don't want to. You know, here's a few fun facts. China and Nepal had disagreed about the hype before, but now they don't because it's official. Mount Everest is 50 to 60 million years old. It still rises about a half meter per century, which feels like a lot for a mountain.

Not really. Like a foot and a half. A century is a long time. Every 100 years. I feel like that's a lot of time. Okay. Is that because the tectonic plates are shifting? Yes. They're colliding.

No, it's just they've got enhanced blood flow. They're colliding, David. David, don't make an erection joke. You're freaking pervert. Lava flow. You're a pervert. Lava flow. There's no lava on that mountain.

It's under the mountains. My buddy Sean actually climbed Mount Everest. I climbed Mount Bonilla once. They call him Sean Nepal now. Really? Do you hear me? Sean Nepal. You don't have a friend named Sean. I climbed Mount Bonneau. That's sick, dude. I know.

Pregnant people do that. And the summit of Mount Everest is a dome of snow with space for six people. A dome of snow? Yeah, you can mob up there with six people. Like an igloo. Dude, that's like the igloo we had on the cruise. Let's go.

Can you burn in there? Unclear. I mean, it's probably like oxygen is kind of tough up there. Yeah, but you could vape though. You could probably get really fucking ripped. You got like a Sherpa rubbing some flint together, like hooking you up. Put your hands around it. Do you have to have an oxygen tank at that elevation?

Oh, yeah. You have to? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They probably take it off for like the pick, but then you got to strap that sucker back on. I just have no desire to go somewhere that you can't just survive without technology

assisting you. There's like Everest hardos out there that if like you have your photo with the gas or the tank, they're just like, oh dude, pussy. I think people have done it. Like, you know, the Sherpas. I think they're probably. I think that is. They're literally built different.

They take their oxygen off and hold their breath and get like a pick off like, yeah, I did it. And then just quick back mask on. They said the descent is the tough part breath and get a pick off like, yeah, I did it. And then just quick mask off. They said the descent is the tough part. I was like, fuck it, mask off. I mean, it's all tough. Then I was like, mask on. Great point.

Or just parachute. Should we get... Future. Never mind, actually. I don't want to get on that road. You want to ski Mount Everest? No, I was just going to say, what if we got a bunch of dogs and we started dog racing? Sled dogs?

Like Adidara stuff. Can we get anled dogs? Like Adidaraad stuff. Can we get an ad deal with the Adidaraad? Yeah, probably. I don't know if there's the COVID protocol. Just dogs can get it, we find out. Dave, you were wondering about these German snakes, weren't you? Is that what it is? Yeah, Randy, can you help me out?

Oh, my God. This is the smooth snake. Hey. Okay. What's up, girl? I'm the smooth snake. Yeah. They. What's up, girl? I'm the smooth snake. Yeah. They're German.

No, so he's German. Why is he in the news? He's something very small. It's not a sexy language. It's not. The hell's Russian? I'm going to go to the bathroom and get some Wiesn Cox. Voss.

Voss. Good shot. So Tesla's trying to build a factory in Germany They're building factories all over the place For as many cars as are on the road There's not enough demand To like Do all these factories

I don't know Anyway They're trying to cut down a forest in Germany And they can't Because there's too many smooth snakes hibernating Good So Is it an endangered species? It's not There's a lot smooth snakes hibernating. Good. So is it an endangered

species. It's not. They just there's a lot of snakes in the forest. Don't. Yeah. And they're like I can't cut the trees down because

there's fucking snakes sleeping. So hey paradise put up a Tesla factory. Yeah. I've been trying to workshop a Santana smooth joke for about 30 seconds

in my head but it's not working out. So they they have suspended the clearing of the forest. Unfortunately. Snakes win this one. Santana. There we go. Nice.

Will? Get your equipment and get out of here. You're about to snake saying goodbye. You hear about the 2024 Olympics? Aren't they in France or some shit? I don't know. But breakdancing is the newest sports. You know what's out?

That's lit. You know what's out? What's out? Baseball. Good. Baseball, they've never done the Olympics right. But it's just kind of hilarious to me that people can breakdance in the Olympics. Baseball, though?

You want to watch a three-and-a-half-hour Olympic baseball game or some dude hit the windmill for two minutes? Great take. Great take. Great take. Think of the clips that are going to come out of that. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be electric.

The world's best break dancers. That's tight. Who do you think wins? The Jabbawockeez. Are the Americans? Yeah, I was wondering if they could like, are they eligible?

There's nobody better than them, right? I mean, I don't know. Who could ever be better than them? The fact that I know who the Jabbawockeez are and their profession is break dancing. Never heard of them. The Jabbawockeez? What? They're the Gator mean, I don't know. Who could ever be better than them? The fact that I know who the Jabbawockeez are and their profession is breakdancing. Never heard of them.

Like, are they the Jabbawockeez? What? They're the Gatorade people. You would know. You would know if you saw them. They wear, like, masks and stuff. They're like the blue man group of talent.

Like, I don't think they've ever been introduced on television without Nick Cannon being there. There's some street performers on Bourbon Street who could enter this contest. I would love it

if it was just, like, the Jabbawockeez and a bunch of Bourbon Street performers just hanging out at the Olympics. Actually, they're all Bourbon, but they're in the French Quarter. There they are. Does the Olympic Village, like, if you're a breakdancer in the Olympic Village, are

you just pulling at all times? No. I think they're just the horniest group of people on the planet. What? Breakdancers? No, no, no, no. Olympic Villagers. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. All that tea. Freak Fest. Tea and like- And a lot of them abstain so that they can like be more competitive and stuff. They're all hot. They're just brimming at all times. Yeah. That that tea. Freak fest. Tea and like. And a lot of them abstain so that they can like be more competitive and stuff. Like they're all hot. They're just brimming at all times. Yeah.

That's it. After your competition, like you come in like sixth. You're the sixth best person in the world at something. And you're just like, no, I'm just giving a fuck now. Yeah. My consolation prize is just hopping on a dating app and finding like all the world's best athletes within five miles of me. Sounds tight.

I'm about to pee my pants, man. Straight up. You're about to bust? No. About to blow? All right, let's get out of here. Right after this, we're going to do Bachelorette on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Jerkling Back Podcast.

Get in and get out for just five bucks a month. If you like it, stick around for $10 a month and you can get every piece of content we've ever put out on there. Just go do it. Any closing thoughts, guys? Bye. Bye.