Circling Back - Little Miss Podcast Week With Dan Regester

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

The new Austin ass man, Dan, joins us to tell his near-death experience story, what has Elon Musk been up to, the cool meme of the day, Chainsmokers doing LIV shows (and space), beer commercials and much more! (6:32) This Weekend In Fun Recap (31:05) What Is Elon Doing (37:25) Chainsmokers Doing Chainsmoker Things Support Our Sponsors: BetterHelp- Get 10% off your first month of online therapy at betterhelp.com/circling --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back it's the circling back podcast presented by busyizzy Hard Seltzer. The only hard seltzer with super fruit acerola. My name's David. Joining me in studio today, and by studio I mean Dylan's living room, it's Dylan. Yeah, can I just explain what is going on? This is the most disjointed day in Mosh Media history, it feels like. First of all, Will's not here, obviously. Brett also not here, but even more to the point we were recording from my living room as dave said bit of a throwback yeah that's dan by the way dan's here we're gonna get to dan the new austin ass man we'll get to that later but we're uh there's no power at our office right now and like things are fine our bills are being paid on time

don't worry about that you guys good or guys good? Yeah, we're good. You got it? That's why we brought you here today. Is this more of an investment opportunity? There was a minor miscommunication on who's actually supposed to be paying our utility bill. Because we thought it was kind of built into our operating expenses. It wasn't, it turns out. And now we're getting it turned on at some point today, but we just had to get this episode out,

so here we are. Lights Out Guerrilla Radio. That's the short version. This is the original Guerrilla Radio, just podcasting in a living room. I'm kind of upset we didn't go to Micah's pool house. Yeah, we needed a pool house that maybe had a drawer full of

wrinkled up shirts. Not sure who lives there currently, but if we just showed up, knocked on the door and say, Hey, we recorded here before. Could you let us in? Maybe it would have worked.

Hey, you don't know us, but we did a podcast from here a few years. Several, several actually. And it's like a good month stretch. Yeah. Like I know this,

this place has changed hands a number of times, but we would love to just record just for old time's sake. And there's this guy, Micah, who had a wadded up T-shirt in a drawer and he had handed it to a former Bachelor contestant. Correct. Awkwardly. In the middle of the show. Yes.

And I can't let it go. It's something I think about often. We're going to have fun today, though. Like I said, Dan's here. You know what, Dylan? Lovely home you got here it's very comfortable good temperature stella's being a good girl let's get dan's proper introduction i mean it's the austin ass man he's uh from the soft core history podcast hey it's delco dan it is delco dan that's your new that's your new shtick. Formerly Jackhammer. Formerly Jackhammer. Delco Dan.

What's up, man? What's up? Yeah. Uh, that's kind of the name they're going with, with the drinking bros podcast, the network I work for. Delco Dan.

Delco. They've tried a million different nicknames, but that, that that's the one that kind of stuck. You know, I didn't know that Delco was like the name for a region until about a year ago. I thought it was a city. Yeah, people just kind of made t-shirts.

But it stands for Delaware County, right? Delaware County. It's right outside Philly. Ridley Township. Represent. Stand up. We used to work with Dan at a previous employer. We've had a lot of good times.

Dan's been a frequent fill-in guest and just a guest in general. But yeah, check him out on the Drinking Bros Network Softcore History pod. Mainly just Softcore History. Check it out. It's actually our 100th episode today. Very cool. Congratulations.

Thank you. People say that's when you really hit your stride. Well, four episodes from now. We're actually, 104 will be our two year. Okay. Because we go every week. So once a week, Obscure History. It's funny.

You're due with Rob and is it just you two? Rob Fox and Jake Oldman. That's right. Jake's on there too. Also a former Grand X fan. And you're also doing Sup's Dog, right? Yeah, we might bring back Sup's Dog, yeah. Dude's talking fitness, DTF.

Well, we could turn this pod into Sup's Dog because you asked me before we started what I was taking these days. What do you want? Did you get a look? Does he look good? He does look good. Thank you. I'm kind of upset we don't have the cameras today dan i'm getting soft right now when you get you're married right well yeah but like before before the wedding i was going hard like hard

in the paint i was doing two days cardio too that was crazy i was doing two days and i got down to like 192 i'm already back to 199 so what do you uh give us your vitals right now i'm about 195 yeah you look as good as i think i've ever seen you look yeah this is my peak you're i'm starting in my stride you're really thin but you're also like barrel chested still like you you look you look hot i got arms yeah dude and you're a lot of people are saying you're the new austin ass man are you the new austin i might be yeah have you you seen the picture that we're referring to? No. What are you talking about?

Oh, there's this ass. Oh my gosh. This guy around town who like Brett or Klein, they were at Dirty Bill's like a year and a half ago. Spotted him in the wild. They just saw this guy and he just had like just this dump truck ass. Wow, that's a crazy ass. The most perfect male ass you'll ever see in your life.

And he had – he's wearing a wife beater tucked into like some tight chinos just to really just make it pop. Right. He knew what he was doing. So if you crop the photo in the right manner, you might beat it, right? I'm not going to go that far. I've never beaten it to this. I wouldn't go that far. But I mean for some, sure.

Yeah. For some people yeah that's in play okay dan told me at the gym recently we were talking we're talking about like posting like shirtless photos on instagram then fitness instagram in general and dan you dan you said uh you said 90 of looking it's lighting fitness instagram is lighting yeah oh it's true 90 it's true a different lighting can sway your like whether i have abs or not can sway yourself like four points on the hot scale yeah really no i really can't there there is there is truth to that i just

thought it was funny thinking like all these like fitness and influencers who like they're just not even in good shape and i just found the perfect angles and lighting it's it's all fake dave god it really is it really is why do we even work out how do we even make money what are we doing here i don't know anyway check out check out dan's stuff that was a great intro at damage on instagram r-e-g-e-s-t-e-r hell yeah i know micah's usually is he in play is he coming on the pod this will be on wednesday i'm sure he'll do his plugs, but I figured I'd get mine in. Yeah. Everybody has their own style of plugs.

I guess we could start off by recapping our weekend and fun. That's normally what we do, huh? Hey, let's make it presented by Roback. Ooh. How do you feel about that? New Roback quick hits just dropped. Some good shit. Yes.

Check us out on Roback's YouTube channel. Did you watch it? Have you seen it yet? Yeah. It's amazing. It is really funny. I feel bad because you take the brunt of, you take some L's in it, and I have to issue an apology because I feel like I was a little harsh.

That's my everyday life as an employee at Washington. Why Brett? I'm putting this on Brett. He started it. Yeah. Anyway, check us out on Roback's YouTube channel. Shouts to Roback. And of course, you can get 20% off your order with promo code BACKER20.

BACKER20 gets you 20% off. Load the card up because it is a one-time use code. We love their polls. They have the best polls in the game. They come out with new ones, I feel like, every 15 minutes. They have so many to offer. Take out for maybe something from us one day maybe something from us i don't know i'll see about it we love robeck their hoodies are also fantastic hoodies we wear them all the time anyway backer20 at robeck.com so uh i mean dave's wearing one right

now yeah he looks sexy as fuck this is one that uh forgot about, and then I put it on, and Alyssa was like, you should wear that more. That's my wife. Dave's on his pretty boy swag shit right now. Yeah, dude, minus the last 48 hours, I'm on a glow up, man. It's just been a lot, just with the power and then the other stuff. All right. But, you know, we're having fun. Who wants to do their weekend?

Dan, I'm going to let you lead off. Dan, what do you need you lead off dan dan's young and cool you got anything interesting to happen it's called this weekend and fun just talk about the fun things you did yeah like yeah any experiences if you painted a bench or something leave that out of it because that sucks right okay do i do i tell the story about friday i told you off off air dave yeah dylan doesn't even know this i'm very excited for it uh like i don't want to be sexual skeezy story guy on a podcast sounds great this will do a great stuff but here we are um almost died friday uh dylan and dave how serious how serious is this you actually almost died like i turned blue like i was probably minutes away from choking to death it was like see episode four of the boys season one was this self-inflicted uh asphyxiation no was it someone else no this was

jfk magic bullet-esque okay continue all right so uh went out to dinner with a lady that Randy actually knows. Randy's met her. Got some steaks, some whiskey, a few drinks. A little whiskey girl. Dan's doing steaks and whiskey. He's got tattoos. Dan's just doing everything cool. Yeah, so kind of lit up. Was out till, I don't know, midnight.

Go back. We're at that perfect stage where it's like, all right, I'm probably not going to get off tonight but i can lay oh you know which we're talking sexually date number what he's been saying this yeah oh okay yeah uh however um you know one thing leads to another as it usually does and about 20 25 minutes in good for you uh well i told you again this is one of those times where you drink too many drinks and it's just like whiskey you'll do it it's not gonna happen for me tonight but maybe it'll happen for her and it did but rain makes casually corn makes whiskey we'll come to find out here's what ends up happening dylan um all of a sudden you know she's on top and i just feel something in the back of my throat uh my mouth was open i don't know why uh but all of a

sudden i start choking and we start to realize oh hey her urine fell out and it's just lodged in the back of my throat oh my god i saw dan at the gym saturday morning and he came up and was like he almost died last night this is um this is a worst weekend like submission and we would absolutely this we would like lead off with this yeah this is actually you know what i mean worst weekend material absolutely so wait can i okay what describe the earring was it a hoop was it a it was a little like kind of pearl earring uh pointy edge and everything uh okay just kind of i guess got lodged in the back of my throat she doesn't know the heimlich so she just starts to try to pull trig on me so she's just shoving her fingers down my throat trying to get me to throw up isn't that normal foreplay for you people like that that is

gonna say some people are actually into that i typically i i prefer a handgun down my throat like in this situation going in this situation you know finger pistols will work you like to feel like you could die at any moment when you're having sex yeah so this is where i actually got off um no uh so she tries to pull trig i i kind of throw up some like phlegm uh it's still lodged in the back of my throat we do this kind of song and dance for about five minutes i start to turn blue are you able to speak barely are you able to where are you are you bringing through your nose i'm trying to figure out how logistically how you're getting i'm also very drunk that and also high because because I took a couple edibles as well. Okay.

This is full throttle. He's cross-faded. Anything else? You're on testosterone or something? On the brink of release and then an earring goes down his throat. Yep. And eventually she dislodges it in the back of my throat to the point that it doesn't come out and I swallow it. Okay.

Which, honestly, a win still. At this point, that's like best case. Yeah. Are you still with it or is it still with you? I've been trying to look and see if it's popped out because maybe I can give it back to her. I haven't seen it yet. Is i can give it back to her but is it the i haven't seen it yet is the size of it alarming to where like it might be like lodged in my like is it gonna pass easily it's gotta be out right by now i would like to see a picture of the other one just

so i can know what i'm what i'm picturing okay now why don't you text her no that's fine you guys you guys talking a lot um actually she hasn't really been talking to me since uh i think she um she is you know kind of she's a foreign uh refugee from back in the day and uh you know what country is that they live a harder life right sure does she think you're just a p word she thinks you're soft i think she saw the fear in my eye and i think uh it turned her off completely maybe she was never had to worry about dying a day in his life and now suddenly he's like freaking out yeah just a little earring come on yeah i think she thought i was a complete p word and now she's over it maybe uh maybe this

was a failed hit you think she was trying to take me out yeah maybe now it's gotta be a gotta be a better way i would think probably yeah probably so it was my friday night um all right anything else how long did this episode last about five six minutes oh my that's terrifying yeah truly terrifying it was like when george bush choked on a pretzel so did you feel it pat like you feel it go down i felt this go down yeah but my throat is still a little scratchy. And then you suddenly you could breathe again like right after? Yeah. Yeah.

Sheesh, Dan. And I could still kind of breathe while it was there, but it was just kind of like... It was a lot of discomfort. So afterward, did you guys run it back or... It's more of a morning thing. Oh, okay. So, yeah. Also, I apologize to the listeners right now.

Again, I don't want to be the fucking sex story guy. No, Dan was concerned. Dan prefaced it yesterday when I saw him Saturday morning. He's like, look, I'm not hookup story guy. And to your point, Dan, this is not a hookup story, really. That's just a minor detail. It's survival. This is a story worthy of sharing with as many people as possible.

It's just funny, so I figured I'd let it out on the podcast. And if you want to support Dan, check out his podcast. Software History. And let him know, like, hey, man, we stand with you and keep us updated on this earring and its passing. I do kind of want you to reach out to a doctor and just be like, hey, this is what happened. Anything I should be looking out for other than- So I did Google it. Okay, good.

Apparently it's happened to other people. Okay. I don't know what the circumstances were, why they swallowed an earring, but it's more common than I thought. Dan and I share something in common. We both have, mine's not at his level, but gut issues. I have Crohn's. Yeah, Dan's got Crohn's. I'm a diver tick boy everybody knows that i mean pete davidson you and pete davidson and uh i'm just i'm worried this isn't gonna i don't know how the earring

will interact with your your gut your gut flora your bacteria your microbiomes things of that nature dylan sure but uh keep us posted i will i will so that's friday yeah that was friday what else um saturday uh just went on another date okay yeah sick armadillo den all right where's that south south austin okay it's right next to moon tower oh you know what i've actually been there it's a good time um they have these frozen painkillers oh that's dangerous they are that's a randy order but five or six randy would absolutely order that and he just had their delicious off mike yeah so it was a good time saturday night and then sunday just kind of went paddle boarding recorded episode 100 of softcore history and uh did our patreon

episode because we do both episodes on sunday so patreon drops on wednesday regular episode drops on monday dan saw some topless people and uh while paddleboarding yeah apparently uh women are just letting you know freeing the titties i don't know if i've ever been in the springs without seeing a at least one set of i saw like eight heavies eight eight so so four women each have two yes eight total this wasn't a total recall situation like two and then one very sick but they were just a crew of topless women paddleboarding like by us were they um how'd they look well they were let's objectify them real quick yeah let's do that that's okay let's just go full slime ball can you go can can you go bottomless as a man or is that frowned that's

frowned upon it that's actually illegal i think the boat cops pull you over for that top going topless um is i think it's fair game according to the law you're the lawyer you tell me i don't you know what man it's a gray area yeah i think if i do some research i'm not allowed to like schools up top law you can't pop bottoms man i'm pretty sure you're a sex offender if you go bottomless don't go bottomless man no matter what your your gender don't don't go bottomless i don't want to see that hey man what about you unfortunately my weekend does not compete with dan's um I didn't almost die, luckily. Okay. It was a nice little weekend, though.

I went to the lake yesterday with some friends, and we took Lil' Bay out there. Dan, since you may not know, Lil' Bay is my stepdaughter. Your stepdaughter. That's not her given name. Right. But that's what I call her, so I don't have to say her name. I'm glad you clarified that.

Dan utilized context clues to figure that out. Well just you know you know there might be some new listeners too so every day yeah um other than that i had a little date night with bay on saturday again dan bay is uh she's getting into your wife she's my wife yeah we had a little date saturday that was a lot of fun uh unfortunately missed out on on dave and cline i'm sure cline was not happy with me at that night but you know dave texted me he's like a lone eating oysters or something yeah yeah i also didn't mention that my weekend my weekend took a turn saturday i'm also low-key sad i missed out on landry and his crew the astat guy and all that whole squad yeah they were here for his

bachelor party right you mean uh garlic mclemore i think is they're calling them um yeah i didn't i didn't see them either they didn't go out on saturday oh they did yeah but i did and do you have anything else you want to share should i just know go ahead my weekend was a big end of the week we had the happy hour thing wednesday then we had the Think Thursday. It took Friday night pretty much off. Just hung out at home. Saturday, I met Klein and his fiancee and her family. Then things escalated a little bit. Like, hey, let's go to Dirty Bill's.

They want to see it. So we go over there. It's like 9.30. There's nobody there, which is the best time to be at Dirty Bill's. Right, because when Dirty Bill's gets packed, it's unbearable. Yeah there it's like 9 30 there's nobody there which is the best time to be at dirty bills right because when dirty bills gets packed it's too much unbearable yeah it's unbearable um and clients like all right well we're leaving i parked and you know my meter's about to run out or whatever that's fine so i'm sending out text and i thought maybe i was going to link up with you and britney and i realized that that was not going to happen, so I shoot Dan a text.

Dan's on the date. So I'm like, all right, well, that's fine. I'll go out and call my Uber. Walk out, look left, and there's a place next to Dirty Bill's that I've never been but I've heard about called J. Carver's, and I only know it's highly touted. I know when some of the PGA guys are in town for the match play, they go there. The best menu in

austin i'm not saying the best food okay but what they offer the best just like collection though i'm sorry have you not been to the cheesecake factory yeah what the fuck's your problem it's too overwhelming too we don't like 88 pages of options well first of all you have to narrow it down to what genre of food you want are you saying it's the netflix of restaurants oh that's a good that's a good call once you've narrowed it down to the genre of food you want to choose from you still have like five pages to sort through yeah there's like seven different kinds of cajun chicken pasta yeah you don't need that so yeah you just go to cheesecake factory you look at the menu and you're overwhelmed you're like let's just go home yeah it's like i'm good to choose so i was like you know what i'm by myself you know elissa's at

home watching watching her show texture i was like i'm gonna go to jay carver's i'm gonna go sit at the bar and eat some oysters so i do that so i walk in it's very nice dimly lit i felt a little underdressed but whatever sat at the bar next to a rather large guy and just ordered a glass of wine some oysters and uh just kind of started eavesdropping on this guy because i was like this guy looks familiar tex klein because i'm like hey who was the guy that played a line for your for the broncos the year out y'all won the super bowl he's like uh and i was like lives around here louis vasquez yeah and i was like i think he's sitting next to me and i was like lives around here louis vasquez yeah and i was like i think he's sitting next to me and i was like whatever so i'm sitting there just minding my own business and

then he's wearing a houston astros hat and a waiter comes up to him and asks him hey man do you play for the astros first of all this guy is about six five probably 305 pounds maybe he's a little bit under that now but a huge human being no one and no one who's ever played major league baseball has been as big as this human also he uh famously was that on it the day we recorded the grand x combine that's right which dan bowed out of i didn't bow out. I was injured. He pulled his hamstring. Pulled the hammy. That was very accurate. He did.

I thought I was a bigger boy. It bruised. We asked him if he wouldn't mind pausing his workout so we could record where he was working out. And he was quite put off by it. Yeah. Which I get. Understandably so. At the time, he was still an NFL athlete trying to train.

So years later, Dave's at an oyster bar and he confronts him about this. Yeah. And long story short, he just beat the shit out of me no he uh i like looked over because he told the guy like no man i played i played for the broncos but that was a long time ago and i was like dude i heard you say i just interjected i was like hey man i heard you say you play for the broncos i was like did you play uh i started name dropping people who coached. And he's like, yeah. I was like, oh, I was just with his son next door. He's like, really? How's he doing? Very nice. And then that was the interaction. Went back, had my wine, finished my oysters,

still sitting there. Then like 20 minutes later, he just like looks over at me. He starts talking to me again. Just starts like, hey, so like, what do you do? Blah, blah, blah. Like he was interested in what I was doing. Come to find out he played ball at tech i knew he was a tech guy but i didn't make this connection with kj of too much dip fame he's like yeah dude i know kj and he was i forgot about this he was supposed to do one of our too much dips live streams yeah he was but he had a family emergency and he told me about it, and he was very appalled. He was like, dude, yeah, I'm sorry about that. Something came up. Next thing you know, one glass of wine turns into three,

and I'm sitting there talking to him and his buddy. And so I was there until like midnight. And they're like, you want to get out of here? They left, and I was worried. I was teetering. If they invite me somewhere after this, do I go? So you really struck up a – Yeah were we were acquaintances okay at the at a minimum and then uh they they headed out they were really nice guys and then i i called an uber and went home

then yesterday we we hit the pool the lifetime fitness pool with the with the young child and my wife how are the oisties by the way fantastic i'm a pacific northwest oyster guy i don't know where you guys stand on that you know i'm not picky golf coast guy they all kind of taste the same put enough horseradish on them people shit on gulf coast oysters i'm not one of them acme oyster house what's the what's the best oyster place in town clarks or parlous or i don't know jake okay doesn't matter i'll be real with you i don't exclusively go to a place for oysters like i'll have some i love oysters so i load them down with enough horseradish to like make me feel alive okay like i want that i want that split second of like

am i am i about to come out of this or what like it's just the vessel for the horseradish exactly you get it oh it's not dan stop it's a texture play oh it's not they're so good anyway that was my weekend and then um got to the office this morning and there's no power which isn't really my weekend but still listen these seem like very stable weekends for two married men exactly you know what that's right dan yeah i mean that's where it should be like if you guys had crazy fucking weekends we didn't choke on any earrings yeah i'm having like a midlife crisis everyone knows this and we see we see the tattoo yeah the tattoos are you grappling are you instituting a firm like earrings come off rule moving forward yeah you should like hey hey really i gotta stop

being a mouth breather is what i'm that's true you should do a mouth guard or do the the mouth the mouth tape so you breathe through your nose it's probably better for you anyway i don't know if mouth tape is necessary not even tape but like yeah kind of like a gag ball a mouth yeah gag ball gag ball could train you for that make let you not panic next time it happens you thought about introducing one of those either y'all it'll block the urine well think about that dylan or it might make it no infinitely worse weirdly how do we beat the content that we just did in the last 12 minutes it's i think we didn't have dan on more often well i'll keep living little miss bad content over here i don't understand that mean

who is this who is this character who gives a shit like who is this character what's the little miss whatever what's going on people just grab on who's laughing at this certain things what's going on who's jacking off to this it's a uh yeah would you little miss meme would you dude it's it's everywhere and like the brands i've never seen a brand a brand storm quite like this where they immediately jumped on this and like had they had their digital team their graphics team like whip something up immediately get ready for some of our some of our sponsors have adopted this okay not you know it's okay that we make fun of it i think but you know this is just no they did it right you're talking about you off air we were talking about web3 but this is going to be the internet

moving forward it's just going to be sponsored content from everything i'm little miss didn't know what web3 was i'm little miss still don't know what that is well landry uh friend of the show landry sent something to one of our group texts like oh this chick's getting dragged for this tweet and it's about web3 and i was looking at it i was like what's what's the issue yeah oh yeah i wanted to give like a courtesy laugh but like what the hell is that you hit it with that haha and just hope nobody like follows oh yeah that's so funny um yeah i don't know the memes are the memes are out of control i'm looking at yeah i don't know where this originated i guess i could go to like a mashable article or something and read about it.

Web 3, also known as Web 3.0, such as, is an idea for a new iteration of the World Wide Web, obviously. I believe it's decentralized. Which incorporates concepts such as decentralization. Silicon Valley. Obviously, like blockchain technology, such as something like that. And token-based economics. Look out for ETH. We're on the up and up. obviously like blockchain technology is such as something like that and uh token based economics look out for eth we're on the up and up they were up like seven percent when i woke up yesterday last night they were down like six and a half i mean i i plan to pay my taxes with that money so

why is that not going well oh so even though i just read a definition for web3 i still don't know what web3 so wait what was that what was the product in Silicon Valley that they were launching? What was their thing called? Decentralized Internet. Was it not Sandpiper? That's Saw. Pied Piper. Pied Piper.

Yeah. It was a compression algorithm, but eventually he wanted to develop decentralized Internet. So free Internet for everybody. What do you think about that, Dylan? What are your thoughts on decentralization as a whole? I think everyone deserves internet access. You thinking it should be subsidized? Perhaps.

He hit me with the perhaps. Well, I don't know. We'll report back on Web 3. I mean, I'm sure that's going to be a big player going forward. We'll be the first to adopt it, I promise. Hey, I don't know if Will's going to gonna listen to this but when will gets back next week let's uh let's be like let's constantly shoehorn in web 3 content like be like just bring it up and just like have him completely caught off guard like what did i miss see how he responds to it yeah but like it's got to be organic

we've got to act like we know everything about it without you know subtly we just we're gonna become experts on it like you were gonna switch to web3 next year it's gonna be a game changer go full like lex friedman who's that just some fucking internet intellectual oh yeah that's us yeah it is us let's talk about our friends at better help oh our good friends at better help it's a semi-new sponsor look life throws curveballs at you as i mean look all the time look at listen to the last 20 minutes of this podcast and i think it's always better study show if you talk to somebody it helps absolutely therapy is important it helps a lot of people i'm a i'm a therapy user i've used therapy in the past, times when things weren't going so well, but I think everyone

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recruiting additional therapists in all 50 states. Huge. They've got a special offer for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com circling that's better help.com circling that'll get you 10 off your first month of online therapy dog alert stella stella's in the house just grabbed her favorite toy and she's all right still you're gonna have to lay down you lay down okay we can move on people People forget that Stella's my dog Randy's stepsister. No, half-sister. Half, yes. There's no divorce in the dog world.

Unfortunately. They hire lawyers. Yes, they have the- After the whole process, they split assets. Same father. They had the same father. Different mommies. Different mommies.

Good girl, Stella. Hey, what's going on with Elon's fucking problem? What's his deal? He's got a fucking problem. He does. Allegedly. He can't stop having kids, too. Just can't stop.

Doesn't he sneaky have triplets that are teenagers? He's got like 10 kids. I think three of them were... But he's not even doing it in a fun way. He has like surrogates yeah that's so not fun like if you're gonna impregnate women just do it the old-fashioned way um so apparently wall street journal dropped an article like a couple days ago saying like oh yeah his uh his partner and friend who is like the 10th richest man in the world elon's the first by the

way he uh that's accurate though he boned his wife he like allegedly he adamantly denies it elon's the richest person like officially but i mean i think every russian oligarch or like the saudis have more money than he does well this is oh this guy's the google co-founder this dude's a freaking hitter man heavy hitter um but yeah so of course like this drops and that's all we can talk about is like oh dude this elon cannot keep it in his pants but he also it also just came to light that he impregnated a former um sub Yes, subordinate, but executive for... Was it Tesla or some other... It was Tesla.

Tesla, okay. It wasn't the Boring Company? That's a thing, right? Not a flamethrower? Not a flamethrower. The Boring Company, yes. I forgot about that. What a good use of funds.

It wasn't a flamethrower. What was it? It was a flamethrower. It was a flamethrower. We called it that. Oh, yeah. Bush was actually shooting one off uh at connor davis's uh i believe over a fourth of july weekend and had the fire department called on them okay yeah well we are in a burn ban very dry here dry careful out there with drought conditions do apply careful with your flame your flamethrowers

people um so he elon responded and he said yeah i was with sergey or sergi i'm gonna say go with sergey a photo of him it's a selfie of those two together yesterday uh vehemently denies it he says a picture is worth a thousand tweets i'm going through elon's like last 24 hours of tweets and he's kind of just tweeting through it he's's denying it. But now he had 11 hours ago. What video games have you enjoyed most over the past year or two? Yeah, he's trying to change the narrative. He's trying to change the narrative from I can't stop fucking, allegedly, to this. But even if he didn't sleep with this man's wife, girlfriend, whatever it is,

he still has a lot of offspring that are just popping up. Yeah, so what's his end goal here? Is he trying to become like a dynasty or something? Like the mosques? He's just going to have the Vanderbilts of the 2022s, I guess? Wait.

Did you also hear about his... The news about his dad recently? Okay, I did. What, the stepdaughter? Her daughter-in-law? He impregnated his stepdaughter. No, yeah, yeah, his stepdaughter. Oof.

I mean, she was like 30. That's a Woody Allen thing. No, yeah, but she was of age when he did it. but so it's Elon's, okay, it's Elon's stepsister and, how does it work? You're asking the wrong guy. Yeah, I don't know. We can go on Pornhub right now and try to figure it out.

Yeah, we could probably, there's probably a section for this. My recommended is going to be wrecked. Very wrecked. Anyway, the Musk men are on some shit right now. Can't he? I know this. Okay, so this is probably not true.

I'm gathering that this is probably. The Wall Street Journal, though, is a reputable publication, right? This isn't. Fucking rag. This isn't InfoWars. Hey. Hey. speaking of which i'm waiting to get indicted for that okay damn you're not gonna get indicted i might uh for those that don't know i produce a podcast um you know we have some controversial guests from time to time

and uh we did a podcast with alex jones three days after january 6th so and Rob took detailed notes on it I had to produce the podcast I'm waiting to go to the Supreme Court you're not going to be you're not going to be a surprise witness you're not I don't think I don't think you committed any crimes you just produced the pod right but um Elon uh yeah there's a lot a lot going on there and um i have not run into him in austin a lot of people have it's like him adrian grenier or grenier whatever the entourage guy grenier he kind of sucks right uh he held the door for me and my family it was very nice of him and i smiled at him and said hey what's up adrian i think he's like faux spiritual from what i've heard well he's he's a he's like the the con like if you're in austin like you're gonna run into him he's like he's your celeb sighting

but i know will saw will's run into elon before and it's just it's just bizarre seeing somebody who you know has that many weird sexual things like going on and like his stepdad it's his stepdad no his i'd whatever we're botching it point of the story is there's some weird fucking going on that's kind of that's kind of my thesis here i just would like you guys to either confirm or deny that there's a lot of weird fucking but as long as you know of age fucking sure sure whatever yeah like you have that much money most of these people are ending up on like epstein's list so So as long as he's not on that. He was definitely photographed with Gislaine.

Everyone was. I think you said Gislaine. What is it? I think it's Galane. Galane, Gislaine, whatever. I like to. You just wanted to add the J word to it. Is she dying?

I mean, whether she knows it or not, probably. She's already dead inside. mean i you know who knows she might adhere to the code more than jeffrey so they might keep her alive i think jeffrey would have talked so that's why i killed him well i mean just laying might you know with her dad being a part of the masada and everything dude let's go she might actually uh you know know the code let's let's keep her mouth shut like the mafia you know that's how it works speaking of the mafia chain smokers chain smokers are uh now they're they've they've gone full circle here we the world shut down uh the week the weekend of the players championship about two years ago and uh the last thing that happened deck he had the

first round lead he had deck he did dan knows that dan probably had him uh as harris english actually get harris english t2 well the last thing the last league does like shut down in the united states was the pga tour and like the last event was their uh chain smokers concert concert. The COVID concert, yeah. To kick off the Players' Championship. Now, Dylan and I. And me. And you.

You were there, too. 2018. You wanted to go back there. That was such a great trip. We went to a Players' Championship, which was awesome. Maybe the best Grand X trip. Really fun. Dude, they put us up in a beach house, this three-story beach house.

It was sick. All-you-can-eat Arby's. All-you-can-eat Arby's. Ooh. Arby's all you can eat arby's arby's polo don't forget the arby's polo we got to meet some of the you know most charismatic golfers in the world like tom hoagie jesus who's t5 yesterday it's hoagie fest he's playing well um yeah we did i forgot about that we had arby's delivered and uh they gave us they brought us um roast beef sandwiches but no arby's sauce and no horsey sauce and also no curly fries and i forgot to mention this in my weekend and fun definitely went to arby's yesterday i ate arby's that should have been like the highlight of your weekend you know the one that

randy and i we did a tiktok at where i reopened it reopened and it's they don't have the cool cowboy hat sign anymore why the hell not because they're everything sucks but i will tell you this it was a top three worst arby's experience i've ever had oh my wait what made it so bad i like didn't know what to order so i panicked and i got like a classic roast beef sandwich, which was fine. Bread did not taste great, but the roast beef was quality curly fries, which were majority of them were not curly. Yeah. I think the consistency factor at Arby's is hit or miss. You had like three, like three slinky looking fries.

And then you had just like the regular looking ones and just, it rubbed me the wrong way. But more importantly, I tried their nuggets just because I was like, man man i could eat some nugs too i was having a big big day and uh completely bland completely dry terrible arby's experience and that's what i get and i they they gave me it was one of those deals where it's like oh it's cheaper if you get the combo so i ended up like with like a 32 ounce diet coke that i didn't want and i took like three sips of and just poured it out and threw it away but it's probably actually i didn't even throw it away it's still sitting in my car because that's how pathetic i am yeah so you're gonna see a homeless

person at an intersection just throw it at him um okay yeah come on i think uh i think we need to get back to chain smokers though because even though will's not here i feel like we'd be doing the world a disservice if we didn't discuss the chain smokers because as everyone knows will recorded the best chain smokers interview ever correct yes correct we're there for that too of course one of the first first interviews they did all the like historical moments i wasn't even on the cruise rachel page talking to the chain smokers that was between touching base episodes one and two because we recorded right before that the cruise the cruise the cruise in episode two was the cruise recap i think so i think so yeah dan dan's been around for everything man yeah but the chain smokers it's very they've

gone live dude they're taking that's on brand did they get the bag they got the bag can you okay obviously i know what's going on they're doing doing a – Sure, yeah, I'm sorry. There's a live event, live golf, if you're not a golf fan. It's a rival golf league. It's been in the news. In fact, we've probably talked about it way too much. Blood money. Blood money.

Saudis. MBS money, you know. Whatever. Hey, man. Richest man in the world. Hey, we're not here to judge. I mean, what have they ever done wrong to us other than that one thing? Listen.

Oh, what? The 9-11 thing? Yeah. Yeah, they did do that. Okay. Well, that didn't stop the chain smokers from – they're going to perform at a Bedminster. Is Bedminster? Bedminster?

Bedminster, New Jersey? Yeah. Trump course. Can I straight – can I – Because Trump is also involved in live. I'm about to look like a real dumbass more than I already have today. When I saw that, I didn't realize that that was a place in New Jersey, and it just sounded like a place in England.

So I was like, oh, they're going across the pond with the lads. And Trump's got a bunch of courses in England. Did they get Chuck Barkley? They're going to Jersey. Yes or no? Not officially. Are they getting Chuck? Depends on who you ask. If you're going to get Farad no not officially are they getting chuck depends on who you got farity if you're gonna get farity and you get chuck i mean we're starting to make this this is just

gonna be like if they i'm wrestling if they ruin if they ruin inside the nba they've gone too far i mean other than the other thing but they've definitely gone too far i mean if they ruin professional golf finally they will cross the line professional golf's fine you can ruin that but if you ruin inside the nba then we have a problem professional golf is screwed oh it's fucked why you weren't watching scott piercey blow it yesterday it's the pga tour is getting more and more watered down yeah and then big tone big tone try to give it away did you have money on scott piercey no i had money on uh hadley okay but. I had money on Hadley. Okay.

But he finished, I don't know, like T8 or something. Yeah, I'm a little worried. I didn't really have much interest in throwing on the 3M yesterday. Nor should you. I was fresh off of eating bad Arby's, so I was desperate. So I threw it on, and I just saw a colossal meltdown. And then the dude who won it, Tony Finau, tried to throw it away. Like he had a four-shot lead going into like 17. 17, almost puts it in the drink.

He puts it off the stands. He banked it. Yeah. Terrible. Terrible. I don't know. Sports are fucking grim right now. I was trying to tell you this.

We don't have to turn this into a sports podcast, but everything that I grew up liking and enjoying is slowly just morphing into the worst thing ever like college sports the conference realignment it's it's going to ruin everything it's just going to become networks like it's going to be not sec it's going to be espn and then fox it's going to be tough for the the the smaller programs yeah it's just going to be two conferences well a lot of a lot of programs are going to get left out so that's actually how the civil war is going to start you know a lot of people talk about you know college football all these problems that are happening in our country

right now but it's really going to happen when like a four loss auburn gets in the playoff just can i ask you something yeah the um the college football can't get her soon enough picture do you hate that when you see it on twitter no no it's a good bit okay because it i've i've holstered it so many times i'm like i'm pretty sure dan hates this joke that we have and the thing is too everyone like makes thinks that i didn't actively i was making fun of rob fox by the way because he used to back in the day in like 2014 2015 he'd always just take these weird double filtered like snapchats so it was a bit inside a bit and nobody realizes that i i just remember saying to be like okay i mean yeah i guess i can't

i like it as well uh but it would just be like him at his desk just talking about like mizzou football and just like him just like like with his hand on his chin and everything well i remember i remember we were at the office at grandex and i was just like on snapchat because we checked social media throughout the day and i saw this and i saw dan and just like sitting like three seats over from me like this is this is so fucking funny to me that he just got this off right now and i just screenshot it and it's kind of took on life and the internet has fucking morphed my brain to the point that everything has to be a bit and even if it isn't if it's something i want to be and something i want to do i'm still going to play it off like it is a bit somebody sure every now and then a listener will like dm me or like respond

to like one of my stories like bro your life's a bit i'm like i got news brother so is yours you just don't realize it yet yeah yeah always has been dan's pretty self-aware dan is dan has pulled off the like the social media of posting like like an image that's clearly like like i know i look good in this and it's like a shirtless oh yeah it's 90 lighting he'll caption it in a way that it's like this guy is self-aware he knows what he's doing. And that's not easy to pull off. Credit to you for that.

Yeah, well, a lot of meatheads aren't very smart. That's true. Is gym TikTok the worst? Oh, my God. Is there anything less funny? Even like the best gym reel or TikTok is just painful. Yeah, and I mean, there's only one person that's done that well, and it's Don Mazzetti. Don Mazzetti's the goat on gym humor, isn't he't he yeah but what's he doing now he's kind of graduated to

like whatever he is now he's having a midlife crisis that dude's all tatted up he's dating like a 22 year old fuck yeah i mean he's living his best life he drives like fucking supercars and shit did he do the yeager bombs video oh no no No, no. That was just some rando dude from Jersey. Okay. Yeah. I forgot. That's old school. That's before Web 3.

That's Web 2. That was like one of the OG YouTube videos, I believe. That's on that Web 2 shit. That's old school web. Y'all don't know about it. No, dude. I told Alyssa this. If you're new here, that's my wife.

I'm closer than I've ever been to getting some ink i don't know if i've said that publicly but i saw barrett and phil uh recording club cool on friday afterward we just were shooting the shit in our office with no power do you know what you're gonna get no if you were to get it i've got some ideas you know where on your body you would get it yes i'm getting a neck tat soon my forehead dan don't get a neck i'm gonna neck tat no that's that's the one now i mean i gotta continue my sleeve too i was supposed to actually last week get my second part of my sleeve but i rescheduled because you know kind of gonna move in two weeks uh saving up money buying all new stuff i'm like i can't really afford to spend two grand on tat right now. All right. Don't get it, Nick. No, no, no.

I know what you need to get. You need to get the earring that you swallowed and then like you need to do a tat of that and then when people ask like,

what's up with that? Is that an earring? On my throat. You're like, yeah, it just kind of reminds me the time I almost died. You want to hear the story? So I was fucking.

That's the best thing about getting tattoos too it's like oh what does it mean it's like no it doesn't really mean anything yours has meaning right the reason i guess it does but like i'm not going to tell people what it is yeah i'm sorry i got my tattoo when i was 18 because it meant literally nothing i was like i want to get the most nonsensical i was like making fun of tattoo people basically you were doing a meta bit i was i was like i was i was doing a meta bit and it you know dude you're like on that web for shit now i just i just have a duck a duck on my ass little miss duck on his ass little miss that's not even a bad

tat though i have way worse tattoos um if i fucking cross my back there's a guy a friend of a friend at tech they cross all your backs i mean i don't believe in god delco no i know delco is i'm like it makes sense it's fine it's like you gotta have a shamrock on your body somewhere friend of a friend has a tattoo on his ass uh and it's too too old west like colt 45s crossed and it just says get fucked is it pointing down to his dick or no it's just i mean it's just on like one of his ass cheeks it doesn't make it like he doesn't i don't know what you what the point of it is what does that mean get fucked and it's right next to his asshole i mean it's not close enough to where you could associate that's mixed messages right but like you have two pistols

crossed like i don't i mean i don't know if he got it at the dick saloon or what they got a guy in the back he's a guy on site yeah you want to get inked up hit on back so where are you getting the tattoo i don't know probably my face all right i'm gonna definitely continue to the sleeve but yeah i think that's gonna morph up into my neck so i've heard conflicting things uh a number of people specifically people who are in like very into tattoos and like younger people like our interns like oh thigh is the spot yeah go thighs like the i don't got a thigh adam's got cool tats cool adam man he's got a good tattoo resume but i floated that idea to someone yesterday and they hate the thigh tat like no thighs gross

how old was the person now that you say that there are a lot of little high school shitheads walking around with thigh tats at lifetime would that be pathetic if i was if i just turned 38 and then i get a thigh tat yes don't get a thigh man lifetime is just full of like 18 and 19 year olds now i just feel like an old man it's a judge fest there man it is and they're all you know they're tiny but they feel themselves and they have like a little semblance of muscle because they just started lifting the body dysmorphia hasn't hit yet i want to tell them like hey man everybody's cut at your age yeah okay it's not hard yeah let's leave abs 140 hey bro hey check in with me in about seven years we'll see what those abs look like i'm out here pulling two a day it's just not to get soft man right it's terrible yeah they don't know the

grind it's easier now it's easier to get swole now more than any time in history right like with with like the availability of supplements with uh what are you on now i need to talk subs i don't do anything i just total war i just take protein i will say i'm on pre-work i'm taking creatine now hell yeah protein doesn't it make you kind of bloated though um not really if you take like i don't know like 20 milligrams i looked into i think it's kind of a myth yeah i take like five or ten and then um i mean it's good for your brain too it's good if only there was a podcast i could listen to to hear you guys talk about stuff yeah dan anything to promote software history yeah we did an episode actually called uh did aristotle lift that was back in january what was the verdict yeah what happened what

do y'all say about it i don't think he lifted it sounded like he was a little bitch yeah was he yeah i feel like he talked about lifting but didn't really live he wasn't hitting supersets in between writing nicomachean ethics no was that aristotle i don't know i just tried to sound smart if i didn't it's gonna be embarrassing yeah socrates doesn't even exist Plato The big three The big three Socrates doesn't exist Who's your favorite philosopher? Socrates Mine's Larry from the Chainsmokers

He's kind of their behind the scenes guy He runs their lighting I don't think they have a Larry He does their graphic design He does You know Will did Will does their graphic design That was Will apparently

I feel like that's Or so he claims He claims We've never seen the actual graphic Yeah show us the graphic Release the graphic Show us your Yeah, show us the graphic. Release the graphic. Show us your emails and show us the graphic.

It was a freelance job. He didn't even get paid. He didn't get paid. He's my second buddy to get burned by somebody in the music industry. A guy who made our podcast beats. He was burned by an artist out of Dallas. Made a beat for him. Drop the name. Made more than one beat, actually.

Drop the name. I'm not going to add him. I don't know where it's at now. And like, I don't know if it's litigious or not, but you know. Yeah. Hey, pay your producers. You know, I'm dipping my toe in that scene a little bit. You're making beats?

Not beats, but like working festivals and stuff. So kid that hired me at the job I have now, he also does like live streams for festivals. Oh, this is Giorgio. Giorgio. Who I see walking on South Lamar occasionally. Yeah, he's awesome. Former Mizzou wrestler. Wrestled.

He got recruited by Michael Chandler, former roommate. Okay. Yeah. We're name dropping. He was a D1 wrestler. He's a beast. And he actually got me wrestling now too. Oh, yeah.

Dan wrestles now. Did you know that? I'm a 10 planet. I'm going to do it until I get cauliflower here. That's the goal. If you ever get into it with Dan, he's going to shoot. He's going to go for a one leg. He's going to take you down.

I only got, yeah, that single leg. I don't want to go to the mat with Dan is what you're saying. You don't. His ground to pound. Yeah. Just gorilla strength. I'm not great. I started in January.

I'm not very good. Have you gotten worked by somebody like my size yet? Like a little dude? All the time, yeah. And you're just like, dude, what the fuck? But I can hold my own with the what the but like i can i can hold my own with the strength but i just can't i like i have no idea what i'm doing technique technique they like spin behind you next thing you know you're like in a cross-faced chicken wing or

something right is that still a thing especially like the the jitsu guys because i do mostly wrestling so once they get we go to the mat and they they start pulling some weird wizard shit like he dabbles in wizardry jitsu jiu-jitsu that is tell that on the first day wow full circle the next thing you know you're choking on an earring yeah was there music playing no music damn no there's a tv on tv's not on oh yeah hell yeah dan's a real lover that was a that was like a business appointment just me like we gotta cut we gotta edit that out thank you for that is that what everyone's gonna really enjoy why stella gets so excited for that yeah stella just got up she's like oh oh look at stanza dan's what randy would call a real guy would call a real guy the real guy shot right here what were those old like budweiser ads real man of genius

no it used to be real um real american heroes and this is true i remember this then 9-11 happened i don't know if you remember that tragedy no i think 2001 saudis september 11 9-11 correct and i'm familiar they uh they changed it because like after 9-11 and you know after we invaded the wrong countries um uh the american heroes you couldn't you the word if you called a sports person a hero like an athlete like no they're not real heroes which okay fine so they change it to real men of genius yeah but what if you're kellen winslow and you're like i'm a soldier yeah well he's not aged well as it turns out well he yeah he's in jail turns out he was a football player and i think he uh among other things he's sexually assaulted an old woman right yeah he's bad kellen winslow yeah not really real

real bad dude real bad dude like that was bad i mean it's all bad but yeah the the story of him is is just very disturbing but um anyway the chain smokers dude look stella knows man she knows i'm a english cream golden guy does she got a long walk today miles. Beer commercials used to be so good. What's up? What's up is still. When I see Phil Battaglia, I hit him with the what's up. And the frogs. Frogs were good too.

But. Why? I'm not. Come on. Finish it, Dave. Zer. Okay. We're still talking Shane. Let's go see if we have power at the office.

Yeah. I really do want to go look. Is the guy going gonna call us the guy who probably doesn't really like us now just due to having to interact with us being angry about them turning our power off they should let you know you should get a courtesy text from austin electric like hey man your guy's gonna walk up flip a switch and leave and that's gonna be it 100 yeah you walk up and he's just he's just sitting sideways in his old caddy. Could we flip a switch?

How does it work? It's locked. I looked. Just do the significant challenge, I believe. Is that? It's a little. The light switch challenge? Who's vibrating?

It's Dan. Dan's getting blown up. It's his doctor. Was it you, Randy? Come on, Randy. All right. We can get out of here. All right.

Oh, we're getting out of here all right oh we're getting out of here huh it's about time you gotta go you got something else you want to talk about dan you want to plug yourself plug yourself no no no it's fine um yeah yeah check out softcore history uh please and thank you we just hit our 100th episode today we talked about uh the relationship between hitler and uh pope pius the 12th so kind of the vatican the the situation they got in with the nazis they released the emails released the tapes uh some good stuff is actually i think one of our funniest episodes and then obviously patreon.com slash softcore history little extra content extra episode week we've got like about 40 episodes on there right now so plenty of stuff everything's

evergreen check it out dan dan's just full Dan's just full content. Love it. Full content. But yeah, gentlemen, thank you for having me. Thanks for hopping on, man. Catch him topless on Town Lake paddle boarding. Well, I'm always topless, yeah. Life jacket or no? Just popping top. I might pop top at Lifetime soon.

In the gym. Start doing kettlebell swings topless. Maybe swing some maces. My son, Parks, loves to pop top, and he calls it that. We'll go swimming. He's like, hey, Dad, you going to pop top? Tarp's off. Like, of course I'm going to pop top and he calls it that he will go swimming he's like hey dad you're gonna pop top tarps off like of course i'm gonna pop top i'm getting in the pool he's like yeah i'm gonna pop top too did he call you a t-shirt in the pool guy no he would never do that hopefully

i wasn't too skeezy today that's a story that people are gonna love it yeah we'll see people are absolutely i mean like i mean i know one person in particular probably already turned this off but if If we. Is it the young lady you're dating? Young lady I used to date. Oh, yeah. She listened to this. You know what? When you started to tell that story, I thought about her.

Yeah. I wondered if it was going to go poorly. Well, let me tell you this. It would be a real shame if when we posted this, people started responding to Dan congratulating him on the sex. No, don't do that. No, don't do that. I'm not even on Twitter at this point. I feel bad about your ex because she's a she's a nice young lady she is she's great yeah can confirm yeah all right let's funny too funny hilarious i can't

see her content anymore i'm blocked but uh well she's still funny i'm pretty sure all right well dan thank you sir appreciate it boys man triple d. We'll see y'all tomorrow on Patreon for Randy's game show. We've got Club Cool and Retail Therapy's own Barrett Dudley joining us. And hopefully recording from our studio where we pay rent. Where we do rent. We are not getting a break on that. Yeah. Arguably we should.

But whatever. All right. See you then. Good night. Bye. You can mash that record button for me. Bye.