Circling Back - Mario Kart & Dillon Gets EXPOSED

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

Mario Kart Tour may get us into iPhone gaming, Dillon gets absolutely exposed on Twitter and Instagram, Drake is annoying on the sidelines of Raptors games, Moby gets #bodybagged by Natalie Portman, and This Weekend in Fun presented by Icenhauer's in Austin, Texas. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (5:54) Today in Twitter Moments & Cartoon Crushes (16:15) Dillon Gets EXPOSED (25:59) Mario Kart for iPhone (42:50) Courtside Drake Is Annoying (46:58) Moby Gets Bodybagged by Natalie Portman (1:02:30) This Weekend In Fun Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (CB20 for 20% off) Harry's: www.harrys.com/circlingback ($13 trial set) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast. My name is Will DeVries to my right. Hey, bruv. Hey, Will, what's going on, bud? Why are you talking like you're trying to be in the booth of a Cowboys game right now? This is my Brad Sham voice. No, I have allergy deep voice today, or just tired guy deep voice, so I'm not changing it like Dylan is accused of doing, but just know. He literally does it. Who's Brad Sham? He does the play-by-play for the boys on the radio.

He's the radio voice of your Dallas Cowboys. I don't listen to sports on the radio, so that's why I had no idea. But cool. That's weird that Dylan doesn't do something. Oh, man. Why don't I listen to the... Why? Never been in the car?

Like, wondering what's going on in the game when you're, like, rushing home from somewhere? No. Damn. I just catch it when I get home. Must be nice. Wait, really? Yeah. Dude, the radio is really exciting sometimes.

I have, but typically it's not something I do. What about the Longhorn games? No. Just not a sports video. This shows your sports privilege because as an NFL fan, you've never had to deal with your team being blacked out. That's true because my team is the Cowboys and they are always on TV. Lions, during their struggles, they had several games that were blacked out

so we had to listen on the radio. You kind of get into it. You hate to see it. It's fun. That needs to be on someone's 2020 platform needs to be that they will get rid of the blackouts. Dude. Like Beto. Beto wants to get rid of private prisons. He should also get rid of blackouts.

I feel like private prisons is like a pretty lame like thing to take a stand against oh keep going i mean like like how many people is that affecting like how many how many uh i think a lot but like is that is that a platform that like affects like your politics i don't know anything about it so i I'm not even going to dip my toe in this one. The thing about private prisons is that the lobby is very staunch and large. So when someone tries to decriminalize drugs

or pot, there's a big push against that from private prison lobby because they want more people locked up. Okay, that makes sense. We just got woke. Yeah. Thank you for awaking me. Do you ever listen to System of a Down? No awaking me do you ever listen to system of a down no dylan do you i think i actually hated system of a down i thought they sucked dude don't ask me a question

and not give me a chance to answer it jesus we knew that we knew the answer god have we been intro dylan no that's dylan i get no respect for a couple jabs we're only two minutes 30 seconds in right now, dude. I'm talking more about you asking me a question than immediately speaking over me. System of a Down did stink. I'm okay, by the way. Thanks for my intro. No one actually thought you listened to System of a Down.

That was a rhetorical question. I'm doing fine. Even though I got totally exposed this morning. But that's okay. We'll talk about that in a minute. System of a Down, to morning, but that's okay. We'll talk about that in a minute. System of a Down to me, this isn't fair, but so my music with politics

was Rage Against the Machine, and I was so into them that when I started listening to System of a Down or people started getting into them, I was like, these guys are posers, man. They just aren't good though, too. Yeah, they're not great.

They were just a really bad band. I didn't think they were great. And also, I felt like you could tangibly feel the politics behind Rage Against the Machine. With Sister Madonna, it was like, all right, you guys are just looking for an angle. I just didn't like them. Let's talk more politics. That's why people tuned in. I didn't mean to expose you on the private...

Oh, I mean, it's fine. I don't feel exposed. Okay, I didn't mean to... Sometimes when I'm Oh I mean it's fine I don't feel exposed Okay I didn't mean to Sometimes when I'm explaining things I'm like dude am I mansplaining You do definitely mansplain sometimes When it comes to like political stuff No no no we'll work out It comes off as like a way of like

Owning the argument Owning the conversation Does that make sense Yeah I'm not trying to Dude talk of politics though you always kind of sound like that You do conversation does that make sense yeah i'm not trying to i just i don't when you're any do you talk of politics so you always kind of sound like that you do so what when i hear private prison like i just immediately think like okay like how many people are going to like be like oh like that's not the first thing people are going to bring up when they're talking about beto's platform

sure i only know this because i think i saw a twitter moment of course there's some good moments out there but seriously though he needs to do something about blackouts yeah i just can't see that being high in his priority list it should be higher just saying right now he just goes around wearing like tucked in mizzen and main shirts to some levi's 501s and then puts on like a dad cap from whatever town he's in, which I don't hate that strategy. It's the Duffner strategy of just putting on like a local hat to get in. I think it's funny that like someone once told me,

and I think this was during like maybe even like Bush. It might have been like Bush, George Bush, that like politicians should never have their sleeves rolled up. Like no one should have their sleeves rolled up unless they're actually doing work. What about weathermen? Weathermen? Dude, like why? Like it's not like they're like digging into the information physically, but they always

have it rolled up. They're checking the models. They just need the extra, like, whatever. The extra space for their arm to extend. Well, you know, like, the Super Bowl for the weatherman is like, like we had two days ago, like a severe weather outbreak. And, you know, they've got people off camera that they're yelling back and forth to who are, like, checking the data as it comes in.

Like, and they're walking around they're going to be in the weather center for five hours ten hours just keeping people safe so they roll the sleeves up i'm looking at twitter moments right now oh here we go i don't know how to say this this is aj's favorite is this your new segment maybe brienne of Tarth was a three-eyed raven all along. What? That's what it says, dude. There's a gif that accompanies it. Oh, I know why. It's because she predicted the outcome years ago.

Wow. Yeah. In an interview sitting next to Jamie Lannister. Dude, the cool thing about a three-eyed raven is that it's got three eyes. Extreme Dave Ruff voice. Are you saying on the show or off the show? Off the show. Oh.

In an interview. I don't know who was interviewing her, but she was sitting next to Jamie Lannister. I don't know the dude's real name. Hoddy McHodderson. And they each predicted who's going to end up on the throne.

And he gave a pretty standard answer. He gave a couple of options. And she said, someone totally off the wall. And then mentioned, close your ears real quick, Will. I know at this point. She said, it's probably going to be Bran. Wow.

And he was like, Bran? Or some shit. Bran? Bran? Bran? Hey, here's a Twitter moment I think we can all fuck with. John Hot, time to divulge your childhood cartoon crushes. That was next up.

That one's been hot on the TL. Dude, what's up with like, okay, like you know Twitter moments are failing when that has 16 likes. Like the most likes for any of these Twitter moments are like 18 likes. Who is your cartoon crush? I mean, if it was anybody but... What's that redhead's name? Jessica Rabbit? Yeah.

Oh, hell yeah. Like, she was the only hot one. She was scorching. Right? True story. I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit in theaters when I was like five with my cousin and my aunt and my mom, and we had to leave because that scene where they melt one of the tunes

in like a vat of a barrel of acid scared my cousin she started crying we don't have your cousin like putting her on blast your cousin's so soft i mean she's like a five-year-old no she's soft i mean is there any what other hot ones give me jasmine jasmine was really hot by the way ariel was hot i think i'm seeing aladdin on sunday do i i clearly have a redhead thing i'm engaged one and my two crushes were ariel and what's it called is we're gonna like egret when he watches game of thrones maybe egret it's it's egret week on this podcast get it dylan uh john got those cakes though which cartoon would you like to bend over a barrel

I'll stick with my crush being Jessica Rabbit I don't necessarily want to bend her over a barrel what do you want to do maybe just like

make out some PG make out stuff which cartoon do you want to most her yeah it doesn't have to be a female

you can do male yeah who is the hottest dude cartoon? Aladdin's up there. He was a snack. Dude, that vest. Dude, the hair. Dude, Aladdin always rocking a vest.

TFM. Shut the fuck up. I can see Dave being like a Tomb Raider guy. That was after my... It was too late. Yeah. Laura Cro was after my... It was too late. Yeah. Laura Croft? Yeah.

It was too late. I mean, for a video game character, she was a 10. Dude, do you know who's caked up? I was more of a Chun-Li guy. The chick from The Incredibles? The mom? Dude, so caked up. What's her name?

I don't know. Why'd they make her so thick? Dude, she's hot as hell. She's dummy thick. It was like distracting during the movie. Sally's like, why are you so into this movie? I'm like, shh. Shut up, Sally.

Stop talking. Eyes forward. She actually, and this dude, she's got red hair too. I think her name's just Mrs. Incredible. I never saw The Incredibles. Dude, they're actually. I got a deal on this segment. I'm out.

I high-horsed them and was like, no, I'm not going to see those. A wildly entertaining movie. Oh, they're really good. The first one was so much better than the second one. But they were on the drawing board. Let's come up with these characters. And someone said, let's just make her crazy thick. Why?

It's a children's movie. Dude, was Ariel... She was arguably thick. No, she was pretty slender. She had that mermaid curve. Yeah. You love to see that. But she was really hot, yeah.

She was. When are they going to make a live action of that one? That's what the people want. Do you remember Splash? No. The movie about the mermaid? The guy who falls in love with the mermaid? Oh, yeah.

It's pretty trash. I think I actually saw that in 3 with a mermaid oh yeah it's pretty trash i think i actually saw that in 3d now that you mention it i don't think you saw it in 3d this came out like 1989 oh i'm thinking of another movie then look it up when does lion king drop the new one i don't know quite the cast in that movie though gambino beyonce that's gonna do numbers at the box office yeah aladdin's this friday okay i'll pull back the curtain the reason i'm going to san franc at the box office. Yeah. Aladdin's this Friday. Okay, I'll pull back the curtain. The reason I'm going to San Francisco is because they have a really good IMAX theater and I'm seeing Aladdin on Friday night. That's not funny.

Well, you definitely didn't see Splash because it came out in 1984. Oh. It was like one of Tom Hanks' first movies. No. That would be hilarious if you were in the theater. I feel like there's another one where a dude falls in love with some type of hybrid fish human and I saw it in Three Dimensions uh isn't that the one that won the oscar where the chick married like hooks up with the monster no not that one this was like this

was like not actual 3d it was like the 3d on the first like 3d tv that you get my buddy had one i'm out on 3d well dude in theater 3d i don't need that. Oh, I like it. In theater 3D is way better than at home. My buddy's parents bought the at home 3D thing, but they only bought two pairs of glasses. So if there were more than two people sitting there, you couldn't do it. Some people would have to watch this garbled screen. Can you imagine? Gross. Pocahontas.

Ooh. Yeah. Mulan Wood Can't pick Keep going Belle Yeah, obviously Belle

Of course That's all I got Okay The Frozen The Frozen chick Elsa Elsa She's a snack

Dude, that movie stunk was she of age I liked that movie a lot really get out of here I don't know I'm usually I'm usually pretty good

with like all these Pixar Disney movies and stuff like that the songs in Frozen did nothing for me let it go went hard I was about to say let it go went hard

let it go snap the other songs though I was like okay you're kind of like ruining the movie for me right now Idina Menzel

is that her name something like that yeah incredible voice yeah incredible no let it go though, I was like, okay, you're kind of like ruining the movie for me right now. Idina Menzel, is that her name? Yeah. Incredible voice. Yeah. Incredible. No, let it go. It goes hard. And that's the reason I saw the movie because Sally's nieces were always singing it

and I was like, all right, I'll do this. Should we move on from the cartoon characters we're most likely to fornicate with? Yeah, probably. I was looking on the recap of this Twitter moment for the drawn hot thing. It's all dudes. So they didn't... most likely to fornicate with yeah probably i was looking on the recap of this twitter moment for the the drawn hot thing it's all dudes so they didn't there's no toxic masculinity they made good points so like eric prince eric from what's it called like he kind of had the whole aladdin

vibe going i feel like now that i look at it they kind of mailed in what aladdin looked like because i just redrew prince eric as like dude from Agrabah, the city of mystery. I was like Gaston. Dude, Gaston. Speaking of TFMs, Gaston. No, I feel like Gaston's about to get me too. Yeah, he's up there. He probably did some fucked up shit.

Well, yeah. I mean, he definitely did. Like, let's just... I'm going to just do a quick... Let's spoil Beauty and the Beast. I'm going to do a quick reading of some of the lyrics and tell me that he's not about to. Actually, dude, this makes him sound kind of tight. No one's slick as Gaston.

No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck is incredibly thick as Gaston. He did have a thick neck. Just a crazy thick neck. Shrugs for days. That's all he does. For there's no man in town half as manly, purfect, a pure paragon?

What's a paragon? It's hard to say. You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley, and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on. Maybe he's not going to get me. I thought it was Tom, Dick, and Harry. That's how I always heard it. It says Tom, Dick, or Stanley.

Okay. I know the songs from Beauty and the Beast less than I know like many a song. But that's just me. I don't know. Maybe he's not going to get me, dude. What a great Twitter moment yeah thank you for

inspiring that one of the better moments in Twitter some people wait a lifetime for a Twitter moment like this true

if you haven't already can you guys do us a favor go to sign up on Patreon we're dropping two episodes a week on there now

no complaining about like lack of content. We're content machines. You literally can get a podcast from Wash Media every single day of the week, except for Saturdays, which, Dylan, what are they for? They're for the boys, obviously.

Thank you. I'm also dropping a mail-in editorial on there. Oh, fuck. Probably today. Dude, your boy got a column off on the dog park the other day I saw that like no one's talking about that I didn't read it

but I saw that you posted it yeah I don't read your stuff I'm worried that dude now I'm like scared shitless that like people in my dog park might be patrons

if they're certified backers then that's a good thing you live in a pretty exclusive place I did show my hand a little bit the other night during the Game of Thrones finale I took Rosie out and there was another woman out there and we started talking and she the other night. During the Game of Thrones finale, I took Rosie out.

And there was another woman out there and we started talking. And she's like, you don't watch Game of Thrones? I was like, no, I will eventually. And she's like, yeah, I just started it like this week. So I'm just going to plow through it. And I'm like, oh, good for you. Then she asked if I watched The Bachelor. And I was like, yeah, for sure.

She's like, cool, cool. And then I was like, yeah, I watch it for work. And she was like, oh, what do you do? And then we went down that work hole. Oh, see, that's your fault. Yeah, it was like yeah watch it for work and she was like oh what do you do and then I we oh well that's your fault yeah did she sign up I didn't I didn't I didn't like see her do it on her phone but maybe get your phone out right now miss yeah her name's Kim shouts to Kim love you hey Kim I don't love you sorry that was weird and we need to move on can we just delete all yeah yeah I'm saying yeah but we got a new tier structure. Five bucks will get you one episode a week.

Ten dollars will get you everything. Everything. The premium package. You want everything. Optimized content. That's what you're looking for. Dylan, I think we'd be remiss if we didn't talk about your exposure this morning. Yeah, so I got up this morning and what I usually do is I just do a quick social media check

to get a snapshot of what's going on. Check the latest Twitter moments. Twitter moments. Make sure there are no national disasters or anything. I hit the gram to see if anyone got a gram off while I was sleeping. You know, stuff like that. Check your likes. And I saw a familiar-looking image on Instagram,

and I knew that someone was about to get exposed. And when I see that Randy has put together a pull the tape video, I have like Vietnam style flashbacks. And I know I used to get a really uneasy feeling in my stomach. Like this is probably going to be me. To be clear, Randy's not my dog. Randy's our video guy. That'd be tight if you could train your dog to do video work for us though.

Yeah. Yeah, we wouldn't have to pay him. Put him to work. Well, we'd feed him in just like rawhides. Oh, fine raw hide anyway go on yeah anyway i i saw this just pop up and i i just my stomach just sunk because i i kind of i kind of knew it was coming this is on you player no i let me get to it bitch sorry and uh so i hit I hit play, and immediately, yep, it's the Game of Thrones thing. Here's what happened. Yes, I deserve to get exposed for that.

In the clip, I even said, Randy, pull the tape, because I was so sure I was right. Here's where the wires got crossed, though. When Dave said what he said, which was that I said was said which was that i said be careful i'm just saying this now i'm just gonna tell you this be careful with what you say because the tape could get pulled on you again wow i thought that what he was saying is um in my opinion it was the greatest show of all time speaking of game of thrones that's not what he said he said i said it was widely regarded as the greatest show of all time,

which is accurate. So, that's where I messed up because I said, no, Dave, I didn't say that. But I clearly did. Randy pulled the tape.

Now, to be fair, this part isn't included in the segment that he cut. Later on, I said, I started to second guess myself. I said, I may have gotten that wrong. Something along those lines. You got it wrong. But of course, he didn't include that.

That would have made for a... Well, you went back on it. It's just hilarious to me that you're the one who was like, I know. I even said I'm 100% sure. You were incensed. I was insufferable. I was a jerk. And I'm embarrassed embarrassed and this one this one hurts much more than the other ones did i remember getting like particularly upset i don't

know if this was because i don't know if i even like if i vocalized or if i was just thinking but it made me mad that people were saying it was the greatest show of all time before the final season had even aired and that's where i had the issue because i was like you can't do that like yeah but there we were seven seasons in man it was i know seven years of tele of television that we had watched eight years i got longer yeah yeah eight years because that one took forever and uh so we had we had quite the resume to look at yeah but you got to finish strong though yeah as in anything in life dylan yeah let's ponder that so yeah i don't think the the lack of i don't think the criticisms of the final season will taint it as much as people think do you think the criticisms will stand the test of time

yes i do i think the criticisms uh tarnish it a little. I think so, too. So I'm going back and I'm watching just old, some of my favorite episodes. I watched two last night. Incredible. Even the battle scenes they did on a low budget, low-ish budget, way lower than what they had the last couple seasons, are just amazing. And it makes me more upset for kind of how things went down. Something that blew my mind was that Game of Thrones, the debut episode of the final season aired the same night as episode three of Barry.

And Barry follows it. Barry got two and a half million viewers that night because of the bleed over from Game of Thrones. Like that's just crazy. I don't know how many Barry gets on a normal night, but you got to imagine it's not two and a half million viewers that night because of the bleed over from game of thrones like that's just crazy i don't know how many barry gets on a normal night but you got to imagine it's not two and a half mil that's nuts people like barry at this point if if if you haven't tried barry out yet like i don't i got nothing for you i've done what i can on this podcast i've shouted it i've explained to people that they need to see it. It's so good. The season finale was great. Everything you need.

If you want to see that video that we're speaking of, go check our Instagram or Twitter. It's on both. I think you do http://www.instagram.com I-N-S-T-A-G-R-A-M .com

circlingbackpod circlingbackpod on Instagram wow you took the long route there didn't you scenic route yeah

I prefer scenic route scenic route yeah you were kind of like my Uber driver in Houston so reliant to this whole thing

is I got to improv to Steam real quick Dave I got to post the picture of the homie at the computer that looks distraught over what he's watching. He doesn't...

He just looks like... He looks like... You know that photo of... What am I watching? You ever seen one of those photos where people put their golden retriever in front of a computer or a typewriter? And it's just like... The dog clearly doesn't know what it's looking at, but it's in position. He kind of...

He kind of looks like that. He's watching cartoons in this, and he's just totally zoned out. That's what's going on. But it looks like he's just totally disturbed. He's probably got a belly full of pizza. I don't know what he was eating that night. This was a while back.

Is that a CC's night for you guys, or what? That was not a CC's night. What's his favorite pizza from CC's? He likes the Alfredo. Gross. No, he doesn't. Dude, he loves it. I got a Bon Me pizza the other night.

It slapped hard. You ever had a Bon Me pizza before? No, but I want to go to Pine House soon. I don't like mixing that up. Oh, my God. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Mike and I got it together. I want to get pizza rolls off.

Where did you get a Bon Me pizza? Pine House. I was there. It was me, Micah, Boo Boo, and Sally. And we sat there and we were going to get two pizzas. And we were like, let's do one home run that we know is going to be good. And then we're like, let's do... One wild card.

Let's do another wild card. And Micah's like, you know, those bond meat pizzas always intrigue me. And I was like, Micah, me as well. So we went with it. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't support that kind of fusion. I can't. It was good.

I'm never going gonna get it again but it was a it was an interesting pizza quite spicy too too fused for you dave it's a little too fused yeah are you one of those people that doesn't eat pizzas that don't have red sauce actually yeah i am i'll mess with a white sauce pizza i will too i will too but red is it's the pine house though that i love their red sauce so it's hard for me to go off the map there. Because it's amazing. Yeah. And so, yeah.

But I will try a white pizza, no questions asked. A sauce makes the pizza. In my humble opinion. Sauce is very important. Yeah, sure. If your sauce is trash, get out of here. Anyway, thanks, Randy, for exposing me again. Really appreciate you, man.

Exposed! I can't believe I called for the pulling of the tape. That's what was truly egregious. What are you doing, Dylan? Get your head out of your again. Really appreciate you, man. Exposed! I can't believe I called for the pulling of the tape. That's what was truly egregious. What are you doing, Dylan? Get your head out of your ass. You flew really close to the sun there. I body bagged myself is what I did. You did. Well, you exposed yourself, really. Hopefully it's the last time.

That's like when a receiver looks like he catches one, but he trapped it on the ground, and he gets up and he calls for the sideline to review it. And so they burn a timeout reviewing some shit that wasn't even close. It's like, damn it, Dylan. You got us twice. Yeah, that's you.

Dickhead. Anyway, it's fun. It's fun for the people. So that's why I'm okay with it. People do enjoy the exposed segments. People do. They love the pool of takes, Seg. You know what people also enjoy?

Harry's razors. Mm-hmm. I use one daily. Same. Clean up that cheek line. When I'm not growing this scruff out, hell yeah. Dave Scruff. Sure.

I love Harry's. You know what I've been using lately? More than anything? Let's hear it. Their shave gel. Ooh. Is that because it goes? Yeah.

Because it does. A little bit goes a long way. Love that stuff. Long way. But I also like them because of their razors, their closeness, their smoothness,

their comfortable glide. Everything. Their founders were tired of paying up for razors that were overpriced and overdesigned. They knew they had a great shave

and it doesn't come from gimmicks like vibrating heads or flex balls. How do you feel about flex balls, Dave? I'm tired of gimmicks. Real name, no gimmicks over here. All their blades come with a 100% quality guarantee. Their replacement cartridges are just $2 each.

That's half the price of the Gillette... Mouthful here. Gillette Fusion Pro Shield. And they have over 20,000 five-star reviews on Trustpilot and Google. They're simply the best razors in the game. I will stand by that. I'm not kidding. They're the best razors in the game.

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Please tell me. Listeners can redeem their trial set at harrys.com slash circling back. Make sure you go to harrys.com slash circling back, redeem your offer, and let them know that we sent you to help support the show. Tell them we sent you. That's great. That's great.

What's this Mario Kart thing? Dude, so I kind of missed this news in the news cycle in January. This is when it originally dropped. Oh, shit. But in January, it is when it originally dropped. Oh, shit. But in January, it came out that Mario Kart was coming to smartphones. If you're not familiar, smartphones are what we hold in our hands every day. Question. Is this the modern Mario Kart that I will not know how to play?

Is there an old school Mario Kart, which is the goat Mario Kart? See, here's the thing. Some screenshots and some vids recently dropped. It's looking more and more like the Nintendo 64 version of Mario Kart. Well, then I will be down with it. So wait, this is your grandpa's Mario Kart, which I like. Yeah. My grandpa used to fuck with Mario Kart heavy.

I'm going to put a red shell right up your ass, David. You're going to what? I'm going to put a red shell right up your ass. Really? I have to ask this question. Dylan, who did you race with in Mario Kart? Oh, I can tell you already. I can tell you already who this little freaking freak was.

Tell me then, bitch. I can tell you're a Bowser guy. He was too slow, man. It's sluggish. No, but once he picked up, he picked up. But he was sluggish. He couldn't evade, you know? He wasn't quick enough.

All right, who? Yogi? Wait, what's the... Yoshi? Yoshi. Yogi? Yoshi. Dude, you're yuppie scum.

I knew it was Y-O. Yoshi. Yoshi. Is who I went with. Man, if you would have been in studio to see Dylan's face as he was like contemplating... Scared shitless. I knew he was going to get it right. I was about halfway halfway there i wasn't sure if i could but yeah yoshi dude i had the i was always the most swag i was luigi dude come on dude no one's luigi dude toadstool yeah

you know i keep that toadstool on toad the wet sprocket dude you had to be toadstool he he fucking slaps he had everything he had all the intangibles. Oh, hey, can we go back on our cartoon crushes? Shout out to the princess. Yeah, Major Shaw's princess. There you go. Major Shaw's princess. I was more of her like the Super Nintendo, though, when she was just like little squares.

Like four bits? Yeah, that was hot. Yeah. What was your favorite thing to get? Little bit. Like when you're going through those things, like, what do you want? Obviously the red shell, man.

I always took it as a badge of honor when I could make someone burn out or slide out with a banana peel. Even though the banana peel is, like, basic. It was. The thing is, like, I don't get red shells because I'm always in front, so I'd always get the bananas.

So, like, I had to work with what I got. Shut up. What? I like battle mode, though, a lot. Am I going to be able to multiplayer this with y'all? See, I don't know. Surely you can. They just had the full mobile game.

It's releasing this summer. They had beta sign-ups for Android users. Is that when you signed up? Yeah. You had to send a photo of yourself, and they were like, yep, you're cleared. But it's only for Android, so your boy couldn't do it.

What's an Android? I don't know. I like getting the star, too. The star is lit. Yeah, obviously. Literally and figuratively. But what about the lightning bolt? Oh, yeah.

That's when you just change the entire outcome. Is that when you shrink everybody? Yeah, and you just start running people over. Yeah, that's tight, too. You flatten them like a fucking pancake. Yeah, that was fun. I had some friends in college who, when they did drugs, they would call it the star or whatever. They would make those jokes.

That's kind of funny. Yeah, it was. In retrospect, it was a very unhealthy and reckless lifestyle. Yeah. They weren't really friends. They were acquaintances. They got out of their system. I'm going to get torched for saying Yogi.

Just torched. Well, dude. What was the one you said the other day? It's been a long time since I've played these games, man. Like, come on. What did I say the other day? I don't know. I don't either.

I fuck up all the time. I'm not going to skewer somebody for doing that. It was just funny that it happened during a Mario Kart segment. Yogi, dude. You guys looked at me like I had something growing out of my forehead. Oh, it was the spli. Oh, yeah. Now that you've said that, I see the word supply everywhere.

I'm getting texts from people being like, dude, why are you such an idiot? I'm like, okay, I get it. Yeah, spli was bad, dude. Are you losing your mental edge? You need to optimize. Physically, you're at the top of your game,

but like mentally, I'm not sure you're all there. Oh, my brain's just mush, man. All right, final question, final question for Mario Kart.

What was your favorite level? I don't really, I don't remember the names of all of them. I don't remember the names either. I can see them in my head. I don't remember the names either. The only name I remember is Rainbow Road. From N n64 i really liked the stadium one like the very first one in the stadium i always thought that was really fun and then i also liked the one where

you were kind of in a jungle and you were going across a bridge and shit and you got launched in the air oh yeah that one was always one of the best i always liked the stadium there was something about it that just felt pure it was electric yeah like you got in there and it was like like gladiator style kind of like yeah did you try to man in the arena wall i bet you were a big shortcut guy if there's a shortcut i'm gonna dude i was the king of trying the shortcut and it just backfired actually i take it back my all-time favorite level is the island one you could do laps in like a minute 10. And you'd just knock it out. The water would slow you down? And you could take the jump into a little cave. I got real good at the cave.

I always liked the one that was Sandals, Jamaica. And you would just go by like happy couples putting oil on each other. Rainbow Road was just really ominous and scary. And you'd fall off. It was too dangerous. I didn't fall off. It was dangerous, man. You would fall off and it was too dangerous i didn't fall off but yeah it was dangerous man you would fall off and go into a wormhole yeah just never to be seen again you'd be dead man how about the dudes that are just fishing you out they just have their fishing

poles that was the worst feeling when you just watch everybody go by you and you're getting fished out and you're blinking and you get put down you gotta start from zero and you're blinking and you get put down and you get a start from zero and you're space fisherman that's tight that's like space hog so am i gonna be able to download this soon what's what's this dude i don't know it says later this summer am i gonna be able to steer by tilting my phone i don't know i could know well i'd be kind of worried why are you worried i don't know what you don't think like we're like we're old dude like we don't adapt to this new technology stuff as fast as the kids do if they're making it

the old school version then they're gonna make it so dumbasses like us can figure it out they have like throwback levels on this too I'm intimidated by video games these days

they're really advanced like imagine dropping me into like a Call of Duty that dude that's why I only play FIFA cause that's all I know I'll get murked in three seconds. Dude,

I'm getting really fucking good at FIFA by the way. Really? Like really good. Are you better than T-Man yet? Probably not. Dude, he never plays me.

Because he's so much better. It's boring for him. At Grand X, I would play T-Man like pretty much every day. He would thump you. No, he would win 70% of the time,

maybe 75% of the time. Okay. Maybe 80% of the time. He would crush me. He never plays me anymore. I think he's scared now that he knows Okay. Maybe 80% of the time. He would crush me. He never plays me anymore. I think he's scared now that he knows that I have a system in my apartment. He never plays. No, I know why.

I texted him the other night and he was watching Crazy Rich Asians. It's because he's watching Texas Ranger Baseball. Yeah. And getting Instagram stories off. And now he lives with his girl and stuff and he never wants to play me. I think he's scared though. Klein is sneaky good. Really?

I thought Klein would stink when i first played him so i started fucking around and then i quickly realized like oh shit klein's like he's a he's a player klein seems like a guy who would suck at video games which is actually a compliment coming from me like no for sure i intend that as a compliment yeah no that's time no klein klein was sneaky good you know who i you know who i do thump i haven't thumped him in a while but i would r him. Ross. Yeah. He's kind of new to FIFA, though, right? I don't know.

He's more of a... He's just more of a... Apex. He's more of another guy. Apex and Fortnite kind of guy. Yeah. FIFA is definitely his side piece. He doesn't spend all his time on that. I'll never get into FIFA.

Why? Dude, we had Premier League Dave on this very podcast recently, dude. It's not that I'm against it in principle. It's just that it's too late. No, it's not. Yeah, I mean, I would smoke you. Like, I used to be into all the Call of Duties, and I jumped back in after like a five-year hiatus.

I'm getting absolutely wrecked. Yeah. I don't know how you're doing that. It's not going well. Like, you spent money to get wrecked by kids. Yeah. I went in with a FIFA resume. It's really depressing to think about the fact that I've been playing FIFA for 20 years.

My first ever FIFA was FIFA 99. Damn. I remember some random college roommates I had that were so into it. And I had a negative taste because they would always smoke out the apartment. And I would come home, and I would just be like, from class, just be like from class like dude it's like three in the afternoon man see that's like Sally coming home from work and me just sitting there just hot boxing my apartment playing FIFA you don't do that shut up dude you want to hear a tangent story about the guys I lived with one time well it's one of the guys so I live with uh in a four-person apartment and could we call him tanner

no his name was not tanner but uh i knew one of the guys really well and the other two guys this dude had previously lived with they were kind of on the fringe of the friend group they're all right though uh i came back from like a two-week vacation back home or something during the summer and under my sink i found a stack a small stack of porno mags and a pocket p oh cool girls fuck like a flashlight yeah yeah pre-fleshlight but the probably the beta version of of that And I was like, huh. Okay. And I went to my, the dude, so we shared, there was two wings, right? Me and my buddy.

And then the other side was the other two. And I was like, dude, what the fuck? He was like, that is not mine. And this time he had a girlfriend. He basically lived in her apartment. So he was never there. So I found out. He was like, dude, the other guy, he admitted it. He's like, dude, that's my stuff, man.

My bad. He's like, let me go get it out. And he never explained why that was in my bathroom. That's a really weird move to put that in someone else's. Yeah, I thought so. Yeah. He didn't just put it there. I mean, I think I have this theory that he was using it there.

That's what I would assume. Like that was kind of his thing. But if you have something like that, aren't you super discreet and almost, like, borderline ashamed to even own such a thing and keep that as far away from other people as possible? Normally, yeah. That's fucking weird. Also, I mean, we're not that old. This was, like, 2007, maybe. Like, the nudie mags?

Yeah. Like, come on. Like, you have internet, dude. We definitely had internet. Is there any worse feeling when your dad throws away your best porno mag? All right. Is this a song reference or something? It's your mom.

Whatever. Yeah, your dad's probably just snagging it. It rings a bell. Who is this? Beastie Boys. That's right. Yeah, I mean, there are worse feelings. Yeah, there are worse.

That might be the worst. When I was younger, we would check under the mattresses at hotels for porno mags because they were always there. What? Were they really? Yeah. That's not a thing. Oh, it was a thing. Trust me.

Which one? Back in the day, you could lift up hotel mattresses and they like there would just be random shit in there i don't think i don't want to see what's under the hotel mattress yeah i mean in 2001 like we were a little more reckless than i would be now now i don't want to see anything one time and i think it was you know it was 2002 my buddy and i found a bunch of mini liquor bottles just like underneath the hotel mattress. Score. He still has them. We've been waiting to split one for a while now.

Dude, don't. No, we're going to. It's probably like milk of the poppy or something. Don't do it. Oh, man. Do you know what that is, Will? That heroin?

Sure. Okay. Kind of. Sure. Isn't that what it is? Maybe. Is this a Game of Thrones thing? It is.

It is indeed. Wow. Yeah. I just wouldn't is. It is indeed. Wow. Yeah. I just wouldn't try. I wouldn't. I don't know, man. I know I'm going out on a limb here. I might be alone on this, but I feel like drinking the mini liquor bottles you found

under a random hotel room mattress is probably not ideal. They're aged, though. I don't think it works like that. Yeah. Dude, it ages like a fine wine. It's like barrel aging. So you're telling me not to drink this mini bottle of Bacardi that we found in 2002. That's what you're saying.

It's like the new barrel aging. It's just aging under a sweaty mattress with body fluids. This rum has been aged under a sweaty mattress. It's Jack Daniels. Emphasis on Jack. You doing Stefan? Yeah, we're getting Stefans off. Weird podcast, man. Yeah, we're really Stefan's off. Weird podcast, man.

Yeah, we're really getting into it today. No, we used to found porno magazines. My dad read some horror story of finding things under hotel mattresses, and he told me about it. And then naturally, my buddies and I just started looking under hotel mattresses all the time. You're hoping you'd see a body. That's the story my dad read and initially that somebody found like the body of a dead prostitute put under a mattress he read like cut out a little thing so they could hide it in there well it was underneath like the box spring so like they

took the top off put the dead body under there because you can't move hotel beds they're like a lot of times they're like fixed to the ground uh and so we started looking under and sure enough like back in the day Early 2000s Pornomags everywhere You don't want to touch them though What kind of hotels Are you staying in man? These like Super 8s

Are they nice? I don't know Whatever your parents Put you in at that age Weird Why were you just Going to hotel rooms? Because you leave town

Sometimes dog Chicago was the biggest Like That city was the biggest Place we used to find us. So your fam's like, oh, we're going to go. We can get away. We actually went to Chicago. To the big city.

We went on spring break to Chicago, me and my buddy with his mom, because of, like, I think we were low-key worried about 9-11 and stuff. Like, we didn't want to travel. So we didn't want to fly. So we drove to Chicago. Duda, John Duda. Happy belated, by the way. So we drove to Chicago. Duda, John Duda. Happy belated, by the way. Says we need to get back up there, do some content with him.

I want to go up there real bad. I want to go too. Great city. Summertime shy. How many girls are going to post on Instagram in the next, like, two months that just has the caption, summertime shy? Is that a thing that they do? Yes.

I don't like that very much. I don't either. We need to go see The Bean. We haven't seen that yet. We went there thing that they do? Yes. I don't like that very much. I don't either. We need to go see the Bean. We haven't seen that yet. We went there, didn't see the Bean. How did we not do the Bean? I don't know.

We get too much other fun shit going on. Can you get in the lake in the summer? Yeah. What's the water temp? Let's get in a water temp fight real quick.

Lake Michigan water temp? I don't know. Dylan probably knows better than I do. I'll do Barton. Hey, I'll do... Will really struggles with water temp. Is Barton Springs open today? I would assume than I do I'll do Barton Hey I'll do Will really struggles with water temperature Is Barton Springs open today?

I would assume so I'll go to Barton Springs with somebody today I can't do it today David I've got a busy day I would love to I would love I would absolutely love to Let's do a

What do you have? What's on your stage? I'm doing an interview this afternoon For Sunday Scaries Podcast Who are you interviewing with? Her name's Amanda She's a classically trained pastry chef That sounds kind of tough Man who the fuck are you? Dude this is going to be lit I can't wait Is it in person? Her name's Amanda. She's a classically trained pastry chef.

That sounds kind of tough. Man, who the fuck are you? Dude, this is going to be lit. I can't wait. Is it in person? Where does she chef at? She's going to be sitting right where you are. El Bruto, where we went, and Le Politique, and other Waterloo restaurants in Austin.

It's going to be quite exciting. Our friend Alex set this up, I would imagine. She did. She did. Yeah. So, like, yes, I do have a valid excuse as to why I can't go. Why don't we do an early morning polar bear swim tomorrow morning before we get in the stew tomorrow? I'm down for that, but why does nobody hit me up about interviewing pastry chefs? People think I can't interview a pastry chef?

You're not. You don't have a pastry chef. Dude, I quartered the market. I'll talk cannoli. Dude, I had my first ever cannoli within the last three years. I got one at a museum. It was a, trust me, it was not the place first ever cannoli uh within the last three years i got one at a museum it was a trust me it was not the place to try cannoli like i was just like you know what i've never had one i've watched sopranos like it seems like something i should try it goes really hard

i don't eat them unless they're from italy so yeah this these ones were definitely made at the museum that i was at and they definitely weren't made by someone that's Italian. What museum? It was actually a museum in Fort Worth, Texas. Oh. I forget the name of it. Okay. But they have a really nice little area

where you can eat. When you were up there did you ever hit the Perot Museum in Dallas? No. It's tight. Fuck. You should definitely do it.

You know I love getting a museum off. Oh yeah. We should go. Museums are tight, man. We need to do a trip sometime soon. Am I seeing this right? Is Keri Russell really in this new Star Wars?

Felicity? Dude, let me holler. Dude, you know I love some Felicity. Oh, Keri Russell. Ooh, sorry. What were you saying, Dylan? When are we doing our first trip? We did one.

Would you get off Twitter Moments? Sorry, dude. Twitter Moments is too lit right now. We did one where? I don't know. We went to Houston last weekend. Had some beers. That's not a trip.

That wasn't a trip. That was a business meeting and then 30 minutes and then y'all bailed. We went pre-Washed Media. We went to San Diego together. That was lit. That was very tight. I'm talking post-Washed Media, Doug. Oh, okay.

Or during Washed Media, not post. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I get it. I get it. It's hard to say. We'll figure it out. Chicago, Doug. Oh, okay. Or during. Watch media, not post. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I get it. I get it. It's hard to say. We'll figure it out. Chicago, California, whatever. Anyway.

Did you want to talk about Drake? What's he doing? Dave's bothered by Drake. What was he doing last night? Everything. I was too busy watching Women's Collegiate National Golf Championships. He was stomping up and down the sideline of the basketball game. Let me go on Twitter moments.

Like he owned the place. You don't have to go to Twitter moments every time. You know, I blame my... This is me. I'm sorry. I started this shit last week, and now we got wind that we have... There's one person who likes this segment. Dude, if I'm the Raptors, and I'm playing the MVP,

and I got Drake on the sidelines Waving bye to him At the end of a game I'm like, dude, stop Don't poke the bear Dude, he's been poking the bear He's aggressively yelling While Giannis is shooting free throws And going nuts on the court

He's courtside Dude, I'm watching this video He's literally on the court he's court side dude i'm watching this video he's literally on the court like he's got waving his arm and he's got this seat that's and he sits closer to the action than the players well it's like his two seats right aren't they like in the middle of like i think there are four seats there are four seats between like the bench and the uh like the media table right there the best seats in sports. And he was sitting with his buddy and he's just stomping up and down, yelling, waving his arms like he owns a place. At one point,

I don't know the coach's name for Toronto, he starts rubbing his shoulders. Like, dude, what are you doing? His name is Nick Nurse and he looks like Drew Carey. Yeah. He looks like slimmed down Drew Carey. Yeah. By the way, Nick Nurse, that might be a tight name. I don't think it is. Nah, that's not a good one. I don't think it is. Nah, that's not a good one.

I don't know. Nurse? Shouts to all the nurses out there, but I don't need it as a last name. You know I got love for the nurses. But Drake, man. Dave, this was your segment. I'm going in. You're just sitting back.

No, I mean, dude, I'm sitting back because I'm just so disgusted. How did they let him do all that? The Raptors, they're fully embracing Drake, which I get. Okay, look, having Drake as your guy, your number one fan, that's huge for your franchise, right? A franchise that, let's be honest, people forget about because it's in Canada. No, but dude, I think of the Raptors before I think of a lot of other teams, and it's probably because of Drake.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Before the game I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Before the game, they presented him with a coat. An $800,000 coat. Yeah, and it was like encrusted with diamonds. We had the OVO owl on it and shit. The president of the Raptors gave it to him. So they've...

I mean, this is a serious relationship they have. That seems like an excessive flaunting of wealth. Well, yeah. Not to go... That's how much it costs? I don't think they should be able to own North plus. Fuck. You know how their jerseys say North on them? Yes.

I feel like they shouldn't be able to just have that. You can't just own a direction. What if the Spurs came out with jerseys that just said South? It's like, hold on. Hold on. I don't know, man. Are they trying to capitalize? I think it looks cool.

They do low spurs. Why did... Dude, low spurs is one of my favorites. I love it. It's so funny to me for some reason. Why didn't OVO sponsor the Raptors jerseys? I don't know if OVO's got it like that. I feel like Drake could pull some strings

and get like a hometown discount. Instead, aren't they like Kia? Who are they? I don't know. You know what? I thought that the whole jersey sponsorship thing would bother me more than it does. When they announced like

this is going to be like Premier League, like soccer, Euro soccer, they got the sponsor. Those are bad. The only reason it bothers me is because this might be like the first step of something much bigger sure look at a soccer jersey they're disgusting no they're not all of them are but i will say that like i've considered buying soccer jerseys before just because some of them are really cool especially like away jerseys alternate jerseys and stuff but But I'm never going to buy a Man U jersey with a giant Chevy logo.

Right. It's insane. It's gross. What if it's truck month? I might wear it during truck month. But there are other jerseys that have really dope-looking sponsors. I told you about the time I was in Seattle, and there was some, I don't know the name of the soccer team there.

Sounders, Dylan. Okay, they had a game. And so downtown Seattleattle everyone has these like lime green jerseys that said xbox on them i was like is there some kind of fucking xbox invention in town like i had no idea what's going on uh xbox convention and turns out no it's just their fucking soccer jersey yeah so you would never wear that no this is fucking nerds out of here, man. Trying to eat dope seafood.

Oh, that's funny. The Golden State Warriors have become the latest NBA team to sign a jersey sponsorship deal. This is obviously an old story. But the deal was reportedly worth, any guesses? I'm going to say $35 million. Dylan? Wait, for what is this again? The jersey patch on the Warriors. For one season? For the whole season? $35 million. Dylan? Wait, for what is this again? Jersey patch on the Warriors. For one season?

For the whole season? $35 million. I don't think it's that high. I'm going to say $8 million. You said $20 million. I don't know if that's season or what, if they have a contract that goes throughout other stuff. I wonder how the pricing is affected by the team being on the West Coast

because they're on too late for most of the rest of the country to watch. But they have a Japanese company doing their sponsorship. I don't see the roi on that one man oh a business guy over here just dropping roi a little patch on a jersey should watch media submit like an rfp to uh we'll have to look at the kpis yeah what are the kpis on this i don't want fucking kpis so i was i was on a call recently to pull pulling back the curtain with like an ad person and they started dropping some things like some terms like that and i was just like oh yeah oh for sure over i'm like frantically googling over acronym use guy is the worst guy ever he just wants to sound like he knows a lot of shit. That's why he drops them. Hey Dylan, SMD.

What is SMD? Oh, suck my D? What are you talking about? Yeah, most people do SMDH, shaking my damn head, but you did SMD, which I think means something else.

What are you talking about? I'm talking that fucking shit to you. Dude. Wow. That was fucked up, man. Dude, LOL. Those aren't the ones. I'm talking corporate fucking shit to you. Dude. Wow. That was fucked up, man. I know. Dude, LOL. Those aren't the ones.

I'm talking corporate acronyms here. You don't think that's corporate? KPIs. KPI is one of them, but that's a fairly common one. I like KPI. It's got swag. The K is KP. Why is this jacket worth $769,000?

I don't know, dude. Look at the diamonds on it. Back to the thing. Is it the owl made out of diamonds? Yes. fucking stupid i'm tired of this dude yeah he's got some hits but chirp at him on twitter dog man i don't know if that's gonna benefit me if i get that jacket i'm like it's kind of like when it's kind of like the uh the paying colleges to let your kid in scandal like if I find out that's how much it costs. I'm like dude What are you doing? We could have used that for other stuff $769,000 like could that money be spent elsewhere? Oh, yeah charity like why are you giving it to Drake?

What's league minimum who just bought like a 40 million dollar plane or some shit? Like what if you're a player and they're trying to like hardball you into contract negotiations and then they give Drake an $800,000 jacket Yeah, I'm sitting there like what? There it is drake what's the point that's what i'm saying drake i was saying yeah i'm getting kind of good at the drink why wouldn't they i don't know drake drake they should make him don't he should have to donate that amount of money to a charity i'm telling you know what i'm that's a big that's a big thing to ask somebody that you give a gift to i'm redistributing his wealth and you know i love that this is canada too because you know we're america we're we're you know capitalism is this 769 in canadian dollars because i think

it's actually bitcoin no it can't be bitcoin you know crypto is still doing really well like bitcoin i think I got a guy who I follow on Instagram. He was a buddy of mine in school. And he's in, he works for some finance company

and I guess he does, he's got some Bitcoin stuff on the side. I still have a little, I still have a little Bitcoin. How much does it worth? How you doing, dude? I don't talk about it.

Are you in Coinbase right now? Because it dipped. Yeah, and then it's going back up. Yeah, it's going back up a little bit. I thought there was going to be a bubble. Dude, how much do you own in Bitcoin? What happened to the bubble? I'm not going to say how much I own. Yeah, and then it's going back up. Yeah, it's going back up a little bit. I thought there was going to be a bubble. Dude, how much do you own in Bitcoin, Dylan? What happened to the bubble?

I'm not going to say how much I own. Dude, the bubble burst, Dave. Dylan doesn't talk about his crypto finances publicly. Yeah, I don't talk about that. But I have... The bubble didn't burst. That's the thing. I have three figs in Bitcoin.

Hey, three figs. Okay, wow. I know we have... It's in the hundreds. You have a car payment. I know we've got finance guys who listen to us because anytime we try to say anything that's not in our league about finances,

they clob back at us. Please hit us up on Twitter and tell me what happened to the crypto bubble. Dave and I are classically trained in finance. We flew to Dallas on a private jet and learned how to trade. Yeah, it's like these guys have never flown pry. Don't say flown pry, please.

Call me Richard Pry. Oh my God. yeah it's like these guys have never flown pry don't say flown pride call me richard pry oh my god i just don't look they're gonna have to they can't have them up and down the sidelines like slapping players on the ass giving the given the head coach shoulder rubs do the little fucking drake reference you always do which one what's the shoulder rub oh uh upstairs at tootsies yeah yeah getting shoulder rubs where's tootsies there's one in nashville but i think that's what he's talking about i think it's i think it's like a strip club or something tootsies is like a hot chicken place isn't it what's the point i don't know what is some national person came at us for say like for i think i was the one who said it, who said that I've had both.

What's it called? What's the hot chicken place that's famous in Nashville? I don't know. Whatever. I think it's KFC. I said, yeah, I've had that and the one on 6th Street, and they taste the exact same to me because they're super hot. This dude on Twitter clapped back,

and he's trying to act like hot chicken's some fine wine. I'm like, dude, hot's hot. Yeah, it's just fried chicken. I've got to tell you something. Either way, it's going to put me to bed. When your trademark is something really, really hot, there gets to a point where everything tastes the same. Doesn't matter. Doesn't even matter.

When your trademark is fried chicken, that's a pretty low bar. Well, I'm not going to go that far, sir. No, fried chicken's great, but it's not like i'll get back it's not like uh you know it's some masterpiece of of cuisine here i feel like i feel like i could master hot chicken if you gave me enough time yeah no you definitely could not master hot chicken to answer your question tootsie is just a really big bar oh it's a bar it's a bar with three stages uh i had a buddy who recently went to nashville and and said every bar on the street you talked about has multiple floors of music. Yeah, they do. It's wild. Tootsie's Orchid Lounge.

Is that what you're talking about? No, that's the place in Jupiter, Florida. Yes, Will. That is what it's called. There's a Tootsie's in Houston, which might be the one that Drake's talking about. Nope, it's a shop for women's designer clothing. That's swag, though. If you're getting back rubs at women's clothing stores,

that means you've made it. Second floor Tootsies getting shoulder rubs. I used to get shoulder rubs at Forever 21. I don't think you want that. It was back in the day. Which Tootsies is Drake rapping about in Back to Back? We spoke to both the Miami Club and Philly Soul Food restaurant to determine who massaged Drizzy.

This is Spin Magazine. Oh, this isn't his diss track. This is Back to Back. I'm out on this. Man, that's crazy. What do you go back to back on? You don't know? This is the Meek thing.

Okay, here's the line. I mean, whoa, can't fool the city man they know what's up second floor tootsie's getting shoulder rubs this is for y'all that think i don't ride enough oh this is probably the philly one then yeah because me representative from the philly establishment did confirm to spin via phone yesterday that meek dined there recently in the last couple of months with his entourage is that a world tour or your girl's tour i I know that you gotta be a thug for her. Yeah, see, that's just poetry. I did like that.

I did really enjoy that line, though, when he dropped it the first time. Dude, he wrote this song in like 15 minutes and won a Grammy for it. Grammy Emmy? What did he win? I don't know. Are we sure he wrote it?

Ooh! That's the beef, Dave. Drake! That's where the beef started. Drake? Hey. Dude, I've been dabbing more lately around the house. It's the one thing that Sally starts getting pissed about.

I've been planking around the house more. Dude, you have an electric dab. You need to never stop dabbing. Yesterday when we were grocery shopping, I started just quoting Limp Bizkit and Nookie. Also something that she was not a fan of. I feel like I'm skewing towards Dave, just doing bits around the house and just pissing off a significant other.

Is there one bit that... You're about to get married, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're going to find that it's pretty much just doing bits around the house. Back to back, like I'm on the cover. What's the one bit that Alyssa can't put up with? Frat Dave.

Back to back, like I'm Jordan 96-97. Michael Jordan. He went back to back numerous times, though. Okay. He even went back to back to back like I'm Jordan 96-97. Michael Jordan. He went back to back numerous times though. He even went back to back to back. Okay. This. Three-peat. That's different than back to back though.

I just feel like, yeah, Drake. Whatever. Whatever. Let him do what he wants. We're talking about it. I didn't watch all that game last night. I didn't watch it. I was too busy watching Collegiate Golf.

He body bagged Meek. I was watching Collegiate Golf. I started watching Dead to Me on Netflix. It's weird, though, because Meek survived it pretty well. Everybody fucks with Meek. Everybody loves him. You know what they say, Dave? No such thing as bad publicity.

Meek is like the Dylan of the rap community. He just gets beat up on and exposed constantly But he's still there People still fuck with him heavy Who's Dylan? Okay, this is fun Dylan would be Drake You're J. Cole

No, why am I J. Cole? Yeah, you're definitely J. Cole Because you're polarizing Yeah, but I don't even listen to J. Cole That's why I don't want to do it Who's that guy that you see his body bagged over and over again on Twitter? Like Russ or something? People just love to hate that guy.

Russ. You're like the Farnsworth Bentley. Dude, that is not... What? Stop. Moby's trending right now for all the wrong reasons. Who's Moby? Moby?

Oh, no. Did he get me too'd? He didn't get me too i mean it's not me too necessarily but his his sexual past has been uh skewered in his new autobiography people talk about moby moby claims to have because he just dropped a new autobiography he got an autobiography who the fuck is buying the moby auto me no you No, you're not. I'm going to read it. Do you remember his cribs? He claims to have dated a young Natalie Portman.

Okay, ready for this? How young? Natalie Portman responded, My recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I had just graduated high school. Oh, no. Yikes. Oh, Moby. What are you doing? He can get stomped by Obi.

Can't read the rest of that lyric. You can't trust me. Okay. 36 year old bald-headed something. I'm gonna F you up. It doesn't, it's just not. It's not compliant with 2019. Dude, Moby. M&M. Most of M&M is not. Is that getting Me Too'd? Did he get Me Too'd? Who? Moby. No. Did Moby's crib on MTV Cribs look similar to what you'd imagine my crib would look like if I had Moby money?

It was the most... I remember it. I think it was in Seattle or Portland. I can remember this vividly. It was very modern. Like, over-the-top modern. Like, tacky. And it was just like, this is the. It was very modern. Like over the top modern. Like tacky. And it was just like this is the most Moby thing ever.

Yeah, I'm Googling it now. I was more of a fat boy slim guy. Moby had some hits though. We can't poo poo Moby. Dude, that's who you are. You're not J. Cole. You're Moby. I'm Moby.

That's fine. I'm the Chemical Brothers. You're Moby. I'm Moby. That's fine. I'm the Chemical Brothers. You're Moby. I'm Prodigy. What about me? You're like... Who are you? Oh, I don't even know.

Dylan's like Diplo. Don't Diplo me. What's your problem,. Dylan's like Diplo. Don't Diplo me. What's your problem, David? People like Diplo. Diplo stinks. I don't even know who you are. I just don't understand why the world needed the Moby Otto. Dude.

Why would you lie about that? Yeah, well, dude, I feel like these guys, they do their autobiographies and all of a sudden people are like, no, that never happened. Because when Natalie Portman was out of high school, Moby was probably 35. Do you think? Moby, he's kind of timeless looking. He's never changed. Well, because he had the bald-headed glasses forever.

That's like a look where you look the same like you could have that look when you're 25 and when you're 45 and you're gonna look pretty much the same his his book is called then it fell apart it says in the book the musician now 53 claims to pair dated when she was 33 important when he was 33 in portman was 20 when she met him backstage in austin texas that's where all great love stories begin he recounts going to parties in new york with her and he and to see her at harvard university moby visiting natalie portman at harvard i just i need that entire story he said that they kissed under the centuries old oak trees see this sucks at midnight she brought me to her dorm room and we laid down next to each other on her small bed. After she fell asleep, I carefully

extracted myself from her arms and took a taxi back to my hotel. Don't say you extracted yourself. You can't say you extracted yourself. That's not the word. I don't care. Oh. He said then he struggled with anxiety about their relationship. It wanted one thing, for me to be alone.

Nothing triggered my panic attacks more than getting close to a woman I cared about. Dude, Moby. Fuck, is this sad and am I going to feel bad about it? No. Is he in tough times? He should have that Moby. Dude, that Moby money is coming through. Dude, he's like the poster boy of getting commercials to play his songs.

He's good. He's good. Okay. I don't think we need to worry about Moby's financial. I just remember he was super vegan and very in-your-face about it around his post-modern home.

It was all gloomy outside. I don't know. I think I'm just going to live like Moby for the next forever. Please do. Should we do this weekend in fun? Please. Do we do roll weekend in fun? Please. Do we do rollback yet?

No, we can get a rollback off right quick. Let's just get a quick rollback. Hell yeah, dude. I love my rollback. Everyone loves their rollback. Dude, the charcoal hat they sent us the other day just slaps. It just slaps. Yeah, I wear it quite often.

I wore their polo to a business meeting the other day. The new polos they sent, they seem to just fit even better than they did before. Are they the fine wine? I don't... Maybe. Is Roback the hotel room Bacardi bottle underneath the mattress that just gets better with age? So, hey, when they said, hey, where the Bacardi at,

the answer was under the hotel room mattress. Correct. And you know that I keep my closet in my hotel room stocked with my Rollback polos. This is a weird read. Anyway, you can use promo code CB20 for 20% off your order at Rollback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K. CB20.

CB20. Don't tweet it, though. I made that mistake once. We had to switch our code. That's on me. Yeah, don't tweet it. That's on me. Just word of mouth. CB20. Don't tweet it, though. I made that mistake once. We had to switch our code. That's on me. Yeah, don't tweet it. That's on me. Just word of mouth.

CB20. Yeah. This weekend of fun, as always, presented to you by Eisenhower's in Austin, Texas. I hear that's where Moby was actually performing when he met Natalie Portman for the first time. And they were backstage drinking El Daves together. Hard to say. Yeah, I don't know if Rainey was even around then. It's true.

Maybe, though. It's hard to say. Yeah, I don't know if Rainey was even around then. It's true. Maybe, though. It's hard to say. If you're in Austin, Texas, whether it's for a long weekend, it's for I don't know, bachelor party, bachelorette party, maybe just a guy's trip. Maybe you're just here because you want to see what this city has to offer. Stop by

Eisenhower's. People are going to be in town this weekend. Oh, yeah. Memorial Day. This is going to be bachelor party central. Three-day weekend. Be careful out there. Instead of of two days it's three dylan start us off all right i'll start us off like i like i usually do um i have a friend coming a lady friend coming in town shoddy yeah she's coming to town uh with one of her friends and we're gonna do a dinner um you're gonna be out of town will i know but know, but I think Dave's going to join, trying to get some other guys. Dave? Dave?

Trying to get some other guys in there, too. Doing dinner, probably a bar afterward. That's Friday. We're going to do bars? I think so. Maybe a bar. You don't have to go to the bar if you don't want to. Oh, to the bar.

Okay, sorry. No, we're not doing Xanax, if that's what you're saying. I was just trying to see, like, what kind of weekend is this about to be um saturday i don't really know what's going on saturday yet um does your lady friend have to leave town because as we know it's for the boys twice in one episode yeah i don't know dude i don't know what saturday what's going on saturday yet but probably more of the same. I have Google News Alert set up for my name. And I Googled, like, I saw the alert come through.

Because I want to know if people are jawing at me. Remember the tweet that I put up of the dude in the Premier League who was kissing, he kissed the other guy on the nose when they were arguing? I think he responded to the tweet, Dylan. Well, that video that I tweeted got picked up by a bunch of like news outlets my caption for the video is just that feeling when saturday is for the boys god i saw the alert i was like you gotta be fucking kidding me anyway go on sorry uh yeah so, so just a weekend of dinners and bars and stuff, I think. I don't really know.

Oh, we're going to hang out with Cam, I think, on Friday. Kill a Cam? Or Saturday. ABC. As I say, always be Cam. Of the Bachelorette fame. So, yeah, we're going to meet him and maybe get some inside scoop that we can't share. What are you getting into, Dave?

I'm calling him. I actually have a call with Cam at 1130 today. That's big. It's a true story. I'm going to go live. Man, great. I'm going to go to dinner with Dylan and his lady friend. Sounds really exciting.

Actually, it's just me and those two. So I'm just going to go kind of chaperone. Nice. Make sure things don't get out of hand. Yep. Make sure they're slow dancing and balloons with a part. Is the litmus test the balloon what kind of balloon they can put a balloon more like a deflated balloon wow yeah dave grinds um and got a buddy's birthday on saturday don't really know probably it sounds like it, there's not a lot planned.

So it seems like one of those things where we're going to go over to their place. They just got a puppy. You probably saw it on my Instagram, at DCRuffBarb, Barbara. We'll probably bring Randy over there and I'll probably get just belligerently drunk all day. Wow. Wow. That sounds lit. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

Who knows? We'll see what else goes on. I had something you were talking about. Oh, did y'all want to discuss? Who's that Instagram? My bizarro Dave that y'all are talking about. Oh, yeah. Dude, there's a fashion influencer.

David Ruff. His name's Dave Ruff. How did you find this? Will did. I did. How? I was actually reading an article about something, and it said, it said, Influencer Dave Ruff.

And I was like, what? And then it turns out there's another dude named David Ruff, who's a straight-up fashion influencer, who has like 150,000 followers on Instagram. He's you, dude. Are you related? No, but I'm about to hit him up oh i think this dude might be bizarro dave okay first of all let me just point out this dude does not look like me i don't look like him i should say you have the same name

yeah that's the connection not that you look alike oh okay yeah that's too bad I mean dude you might be kinda hot you're much better looking Dave his Instagram aesthetics on point I'm about to just start commenting on all this shit dude we need

okay no I'm not gonna say what I'm about to say say it I don't know if you want me to Dave David Evan Ruff he's got a big following man like

we need people to tag Dave and his Instagrams until he's too link and build yeah go follow David Eid e wait oh yeah david evan ruff on instagram he yeah he's definitely some kind of uh model of some sort looks like empowerment through creating it makes me uncomfortable that his instagram bio says nyc menswear skin and lifestyle i feel like you should say skin care no he just likes skin he's into skin i like the skin oh all of his pictures are super just airbrushed though like dave you you got this yeah dave's doing a little much i'm not trying to spill any tea here

but he definitely has the facetune app like in his home row come down down, Dave Ruff. Let's get him on the pod. He's got his aesthetic now. If you want to come out here, Dave Ruff, we got you. He's got a good build, but he doesn't look like he lifts heavy. He's big on face masks. Empowerment through creating. Okay. All right.

So I guess part of my weekend and fun will be trying to connect and link and build with the other Dave Ruff. David E. Ruff, as opposed to David C. Ruff. David C. Ruff flows better. I'll just say that. Yeah, I agree. Will.

I'm actually surprised by this. I'm the only person leaving town this weekend out of us three. I kind of thought that you guys might be doing the same. Why do you think that? I don't know. Long weekends, people like to leave and go do stuff. Maybe go to, like, a ranch or something. I'm going to San Francisco.

Right after we record Patreon, I'm leaving tomorrow. And your boy's about to fucking do that West Coast swing. You know what it is. West Coast swing? Yeah. I don't know if I would... It's not a swing. Swing! Unless you guys are doing something that I was unaware of. It's more of a West Coast Swing. You know what it is. West Coast Swing? Yeah. All right. I don't know if I would... It's not a swing.

Swing. Unless you guys are doing something that I wasn't aware of. It's more of a West Coast Swing. No, I'm going to San Francisco tomorrow night, having dinner with some friends. Friday, nothing. No plans. Just going to tool around for a little bit. Just go check out the city.

Yeah. Sick, bro. Might get some shopping off. We don't know. I'm jealous. I love that city. I love it. city i love it i fucking love it saturday we're doing a uh nice little nice little drive north got some reservations

uh some some tiny spots that we're gonna go hit up and then uh some tiny spots like some places that are just like kind of off the off the map a little bit wait okay make sure you got an irv what's an irv reservation no we're not doing erv dude we're not doing erv erv is not taking you can't just replace resi with erv resi is too perfect to replace anyway and then uh sunday bitch i'm wild sunday i got really nothing like we have nothing planned again probably i don't. Sally, there's talk. Sally wants to do dim sum brunch. So you might be able to catch me at a dim sum place. Hey, are you going to hit up any dispensaries?

I might go to one. You trying to cop something today? I might go to one. There's a place I've been to in San Francisco before. Last time I went there, it's called Apothecarium. This is not spun. And it looks like you're walking into a hair salon.

It's hilarious. Apothecarium. Apothecarium. San Francisco's hottest new dispensary. It's kind of fun to go to them. Like, they're kind of fun to go to no matter what. Sure.

This one was like wildly... I mean, go on, Dave. What were you going to say? The one I went to in San Francisco where we stayed, kind of downtown-ish, was the inside was fine. Coming out, it was fucking Wild West. It was reckless out there.

Really? Yeah. I think people kind of knew that there were a lot of marks coming out of there. And by people, I mean homeless dudes. And so they were very aggressive. Yeah. See, the one that I went to last time that I'll probably go to again because they make you be a member and shit. And I don't really want to go through that again.

It's in the marina. So it's very chill outside of it. Oh, I love that. The marina's quiet. No, this place literally looks like you'd be going to a hair salon to get highlights or something. But it's a weed dispensary. That'd be sick if you could get both. Get you a dispensary that does both.

Yeah. Why is no one doing Colabo dispensaries? Hybrids. You just don't see that yet. You don't. You just really don't. And that's it. I get home real early Monday morning.

That's good. Yep. What time is your flight? Out of San Francisco? Uh-huh. 6.25. Good for you. Direct.

You got to fly direct on the way home from any vacation. Yeah. If you can. It's a lifesaver. I'm hoping to be in bed at noon. If you do pick up anything in San Francisco, make sure you check it. That's all I'm saying. Oh, dude, I don't travel with drugs on me, David.

Everyone knows that. You travel with them in you. Yeah. I'm just going to be fucking blazed out of my mind as I get on the plane. No, no, no. I was thinking something else. I think you meant like rectally,

like you'll store them up there. Yeah, up your asshole. Oh, you're talking about suppositing them. Yeah, up your tight little butthole. Oh, God. I'm just saying. That's what people do. Dude, my mom's listening right now.

Sorry. Sorry, Nancy. Delete that. Dude. Fuck. Should we get out of here? Let's get out of here. Dude, I'm legitimately upset.

If we had more time, Dave and I were going to talk about the NCAA Women's National Championship golf that's been on lately and how electric it is. It's on right now. The championship tonight. Here's what I like about it real quick. It's pure golf watching.

There's minimal gallery. It's quiet. You can hear the coaches talking to the players. You get the pure... I don't know. There's not that many players on the on the course at any time so you get to see like every shot of everyone you got i don't want to pick wake forest why because swin lu won't shut up i'm right with duke really i'm right with duke you're a big uh i love that color scheme yeah Yeah, they look pretty dope. They really do.

What's that girl's name who was playing late yesterday? Marta? I almost said Kupka. It's not Kupka. What is it? Oh, it's going to kill me that I don't know what it is. I'm going to go with... It's Brooks Kupka.

I'm riding with Arizona. I like that. That'll be okay. You know what? I'll ride with Arizona too. I don't want to. Didn't they win it last year? I don't know.

I don't know. We're not that well versed on women's collegiate golf. Dude, we're just learning. No, last night it was a chill sitch. It's a chill sitch. Let me just tell you that.

It's funny seeing them hit massive putts and having no reaction other than them. Except for Swin. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's no one in the crowd. There's no one actually cheering.

Just their team. In the latter match, the end of matches, their team is following them around. Dude, they drain putts, though. They do drain putts. So we really are talking about this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Dude, how you didn't flip over last night when we were talking. I flipped over for five seconds. Dude, hashtag asked us to give him text updates. That's how invested he was when he had to take off. Well, he's an Arkansas guy. Yeah. And a hardcore golf guy.

Dude, come on. Dude, Dylan, I'm telling you, you should get in. No, I will not. I will not be getting in. But I'm glad that you guys are having fun with it. It's nice.

I'm going to spare you right now because I've got to go go let's get out of here Bye.