Circling Back - Mean Reddit Comments & City Portal Hog Reveals

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Pretty much everyone besides us got to see some Northern Lights over the weekend, reading comments from The Dumb Zone's subreddit about ourselves, the city-to-city portals that will end up being a horrible idea, who gets to take home of new office pizza oven, sig-oths are cleaning up with Zyn reward points, and more. Help support our friend Justin and his family here: gofundme Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:50) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (29:15) Dumb Zone Reddit Comments (36:00) Northern Lights (45:55) City to City Portals (54:40) Who gets the Ninja Pizza Cooker? (1:02:12) People are cleaning up with Zyn Rewards points Support This Episode’s Sponsors Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (enter your email for discount on site!) Twillory: www.twillory.com (WASHED18 for $18 off purchase of $139 or more) Tavour: Download the Tavour app, enter code "STEAM" in your profile, spend $25 worth of beer and get $10 off your crate! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast wash media headquarters austin, Texas. My name is Will DeFreeze. To my left, David Ruff. Bro, you're so famous. I just opened Twitter, or X as it's called, and I get served this clip, and it's Will DeFreeze on the Ross Boland Podcast. That's me. That's you, dude. That's me.

Look at the flow in that. What are y'all talking about? That was pre-Mullet flow. How's the mullet looking these days? i'm pretty numb to it at this point i feel like it's grown out a decent amount on the sides it's not as evident i don't even notice it anymore is it sad it's good no you need to need to mollify it even more with some shorter sides i have a haircut a week from today will it completely go away will it get moullified oh yeah that's after your sphere trip okay i thought that was a good time frame to remedy the mullet if need be you're kind of uh

getting cucked by uh none other than tyler sagan you could match him you would just have to be willing to commit to like a one or two on the sides. Yeah. I don't know if I can do a one on the sides. One's aggressive. Maybe a two and a half or a three. I just learned that they had half guards. Did you know that?

No. You can do a two and a half if you want. How you just now... Just never knew. Really? I don't ask questions, dude. I sit down and let them cook. Back in my super cuts going days i would

i would hone it in but like all right what what's what can we do here i was just trying to nail down the side perfectly it's good to know yeah we got half sizes too like oh let's see what that's about i was watching uh a baseball game you guys familiar with baseball people are like will you watch baseball not really i just had it on i thought of something that i kind of want you to start doing so we don't have to introduce dylan like ever okay it was uh the classic announcer move of being like uh for david ruff i'm will defreeze uh pleasure to have you here today i think you should just start saying for dylan shivery i'm david ruff and then we can just get past it like Just accepting it on his behalf.

It's better than how I've been treated up to this point, so I think I would take it. Dylan Chivry. Yeah, I just want to issue a quick apology to all my loyal space heads out there who follow me and expect a lot from me, basically. Lead this little movement of space enthusiasts. And I failed the people over the weekend. There was a chance to see the Northern Lights,

and I didn't warn a single soul about it. And I'm sorry, I found out kind of late that it was happening. I was going to say, would you have even known in time for any episodes? No, I found out too late is my point. Real space heads knew. Hey, if you're out there and you follow Dylan on Twitter, make sure to turn on notifications for all your space news and intel for everything. Yeah, hashtag space heads.

Yeah, I failed you guys. There was a solar storm that activated some northern lights around parts of the globe, and no one knew about it. Well, some people knew about it, but not enough. It would be kind of sick if you did a watched weekly newsletter that was just space updates for the week. Like we got this going on in this section of the sky. Yeah. Look out over here.

Definitely would have included the solar storm in that one had I become aware. But I became aware too late and I'm sorry. There it is. It's called integrity. I owned up to it. I messed up. If you made like a burner account on twitter that was just made for space like i did for soccer like what would your what would your app be uh something about space heads okay okay uh respect space something like that respect space

i'd follow that yeah you don't respect it so you shouldn't follow it i wish no i think i have such a large respect for it that i hesitate to um even criticize at this point somebody's already got that respect space bummer dude it's respect my space yeah you might have to go a little too a little more bit heavy with it sadly that and it's they're not using it maybe i'll mix an underscore in or something underscores are so so swagless in twitter ads i know and just really every ad the underscore is like the name tag on a halloween costume it's like you still tried to do something here and i know you really didn't

have any other way to do it but like i'm still deducting points it's just not a good look i get it i don't want to do it i'm just we'll take it something else let me fool around with that anyway hopefully you got to see the northern lights from wherever you were um i certainly did not get to i know we're going to talk about it but whatever yeah i've got some gripes with the northern lights are you going to take it up with god not really sure who else to do it with mother nature um please go subscribe to our sub stack uh there was a heat seeking missile that hit Randy's desk about 8 a.m. on Friday morning, central time. Whether or not Randy will respond is up to Randy.

No, no, it's not whether or not. There will be a response. Okay. So you might be wanting to read about this. It's going to be hard to type with all the blood on your hands. You'll see. You'll see. Please subscribe. what a threat oh there'll be blood on my hands but it's

not bird blood it's the elitist blood you'll see oh dylan the fuck elitist why do you think he's elitist uh just tune in on sunday to uh friday okay newsletter and find out you can send it out on sunday if you really want to just do a standalone anti-Dylan I already got like 30% of it written. Is it really a tune-in situation? I'm the one who schedules those, so I might just make some edits to your piece. Oh, interesting. That almost makes sense

to what the whole article is going to be about. Wow, everyone, listen to this. This is like Kendrick vs. Drake. Oh, dude. Sorry, bro. Who's Kendrick here? Me after you read what I was saying. See, I feel like Dylan would want to be Drake,

but I think that, no offense, Randy, but Dylan's a good writer. Like, he might be Kendrick. Yeah, didn't think about that. Don't let his fanciful words sway you, Will. He used nigh. He used the word nigh, dude. You can't use nigh in a sentence bitch

build he owns a sword it's true it's true yeah good point yeah i didn't think about that are you gonna write yours all in old english nope okay just tune in and see that's all i've given enough again with the tune in is this week this week is a state of washed media week i'll say that wow month it's it might turn into a weekly column, but the State of Washed Media will be released on washed.substack.com very quickly. We need to talk about snacks because there's a certain chip that's just getting skipped

and I'm shocked that it's getting skipped. The blue Takis? No, not the blue Takis. It's the jalapeno chips are not going like I thought they would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I've also learned that I don't love the Miss Vicky's black pepper and lime.

They're good. They're too limey. No. Do you want to start eating a majority of those since none of us like them? I'm not much of a chip eater these days. Yeah. No thanks. Never touch the stuff.

I love a bag of chips, man. I mean, I do too. It's just not great for you. I know. It's tough. I try to avoid. It's tough, but you know. I try to avoid. All my chip heads know all my chip heads trying to be healthy pool season's come up the whole thing okay what you're just gonna be out there just mobbing at the pool you were you're looking

shredded you might be mogging either but i'm gonna be doing i don't care yeah both both qualify yeah somebody over the weekend asked if you were on zempic you're on these zemps who asked you that i'm not gonna say but i did hear someone was like is this this dude's they were actually adamant they said given your like mannerisms and things of that nature they said you're putting off zempfibes what does it do to manner your mannerisms i don't know ma'am doesn't it just make you less addicted to things uh i am not on no zemp. Apparently it makes the ladies mega fertile out there. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, shit. Yeah, people are having babies very quickly after starting Ozempic. Well, we're having a baby shortage these days, so maybe that's a good thing. It's time to stock up. Yeah. Is there a baby shortage? Yeah. Yeah. The population growth has slowed to an all-time low, I think.

Is this worldwide? It is, but the United States is definitely trending downward. It's not one of the worst countries. There's too many of us, I think. It's all part of their plan. I'm okay with it. There's too many of us. Babies are expensive, man.

Baby out here costs some money. Child care is tough, too. It's hard to find child care in Central Texas. Dude, it's tough. It is tough. It's expensive. No, I think it's the most stressful part of having a kid. Yeah.

Tomorrow, be on the paywall. Exactly five minutes. Fastest moving podcast on Watch Media. If you haven't checked out Cold Call already, we've done two episodes of it. I'm having an absolute blast doing it.

Shouts to the backers for being fun on their calls. We had a bunch of good ones last week. Go check it out, but tomorrow, and then no video next week for Patreon.

So I don't know what we're going to do next week, but we'll figure it out because we don't want to do anything too good that might require video. We want to make sure that we're doing something that is standalone great audio-wise. Yes.

Monday and Tuesday, no video. Randy's got a bachelor party. No, wedding. Classic Thursday to Tuesday bachelor party for the Rand. Wedding slash hanging with the family. Okay. Okay. That's understandable.

I guess that's all right. That's understandable. We've got some unfortunate news to talk about briefly. A friend of the podcast, his name is Justin. He was one of my first people that I met when I moved to Austin. He works for Early Bird. He was always around the old house where we had our first studio for Washed Media. Received news last week that his wife had passed away.

And there's currently a GoFundMe going for him that we'll put in the link or in the description of this episode. We've all been around Justin a ton. Justin's been a friend of ours. He's been fun to work with. He's just an all-around great guy. He's got two young kids that are kind of the same age, similar ages to Dave and mine. And that just kind of makes it hit especially hard. And it's just been kind of a weird week uh so if you have anything you could donate his way uh by all means uh go check out the link in the description of the episode and uh if not just keep him in your prayers i spoke with him this morning and uh yeah he's just he's just the man so great dude loves when he love when he comes by the office. We love Justin. Excellent dude.

Hearts go out. Really, really sad situation. But Justin's one of the most positive guys I've ever met. I know that he's going to be great at everything that he takes on. And I'm really not worried about him from that standpoint. But it's just a very difficult time. So anything you can do, go help Justin out. Let's do this weekend at one. Bro, let's go out this weekend. There's a very difficult time. So anything you can do, go help Justin out. Let's do this weekend in fun. Bro, let's go out this weekend.

There's a crazy event happening. I like to turn up. Bro, bro, bro, there's a crazy event happening. Let's just go have fun and let's go with it. Little Wardrobes, let's go. Meet Twillery, the performance menswear brand that brings life-changing functionality to your wardrobe. Whether you're head of the office or the airport, Twillery's line of suits, shirts, polos, jeans will keep you cool, won't wrinkle, have plenty of stretch to keep you comfy.

And to top it off, everything including the suits are even machine washable, so there's no trips to the dry cleaners. Dylan might slide through Cheesecake Factory looking like a million bucks. That's exactly what happened, actually. They almost stopped you at the door they're like sir this coat this might be too nice for this place i said no no no it's it's perfectly it's a cheesecake factory in the mall yeah you don't wear this i was the i was the best dressed person in there no offense to randy i don't know i thought randy looked pretty good he looked fine twiddler he's got it all i i got some got some dark green golf shorts from there that I just cannot.

I think I'm going to wear them on Thursday for the first time on the actual course. Very excited about this. You boycott some new golf shoes, and they're going to go very well with my Twillery shorts. Right now, we've got a special offer for our listeners. Use code WASHED18. Again, WASHED18 for $18 off your first order of $139 or more at Twillery.com. Twillery, tailored for performance. Dylan, what did you get into this weekend?

Thanks for asking, Will. I had a pretty low-key weekend. Didn't do a whole lot Friday night. Saturday, Parks had a baseball game, another dub, another three hits for the young man. Playoffs start tonight, which I just found out this morning. So game tonight at 7 o'clock. Those are three hits for the young man. Playoffs start tonight, which I just found out this morning. So game tonight at 7 o'clock.

Playoff round one. That's so late. Yeah. I thought they were going to get a bye. They're the second-ranked team in the standings. But no, no bye. Right to business. You don't want them to get a bye.

You don't want them to get comfortable. More rest. You want them to stay fresh. You want them to get a bye. You don't want them to get comfortable. More rest. You want them to stay fresh. You want them to be in their routine. Game tonight, so I'm excited about that. But, yeah, anyway, back to the weekend. Yeah, just a low-key weekend, really. Didn't do a ton. I was hoping for a text from Randy Saturday night to come meet up with him,

but that didn't come through. So my phone, it was charged, I'm pretty sure. Had a pretty strong signal too i got some text from randy on saturday night yeah hey so didn't didn't didn't meet up with young randy but it was still a solid weekend i'll tell you this dylan if you were getting a text from randy on saturday night late night it meant that there was work to be done it wasn't it wasn't a fun text to get yeah i had a big uh big stella day yesterday she got two two long walks and then she's got a bath and a nail trim and a teeth brush there's a whole

situation just took care of the young lady why are you burying your math trip oh yeah i went to matts what the hell dude i almost forgot i went to matts i went to matts saturday afternoon i want the full order uh it was it was of between, it was a weird time. It was like 3.30, so it was a light outing. I did have a frozen, a house frozen margarita with salt, a small bob, and beef fajita nachos, poncho style. When you get salt on your frozen, do you lick the rim and then take a sip of your margarita? Yes.

I feel like every time I get frozen, I just end up never even touching the salt. And it's just upsetting. get salt on your frozen do you lick the the rim and then take a sip of your margarita yes i feel like every time i get frozen i just end up not never even touching the salt and it's it's just upsetting i like to lick the salt before i take a little sippy i just worry that i'm gonna like lick the rim and then make awkward eye contact with someone right after and be like oh man kind of just that was mega sexual just look down look at your drink what's it look like when you do that so it's just like a little, okay. Yeah. Tagine or just like?

No, I don't fuck with that stuff. You can't Kelsey Plum the freaking rim. Don't Kelsey Plum the rim of your margarita. I'm a regular salt boy. I don't understand the tagine. It's too spicy. It is. And it gets in the crevices of your mouth.

Suddenly it just looks like you need Cheetos. It's too much. Too much flavor. Oh. the crevices of your mouth. Suddenly, it just looks like you need Cheetos. It's too much. Too much flavor. Oh. I don't need it. And that's it. Missed the Ruff family by, I think, about an hour or so. Dude, there was a chance that like-

More on that later. I didn't end up going, but there was a moment where all three of us were going to be at Matt's, like maybe all at the same time, all separate. We've been there quite a bit lately. No. I didn't see a single soul that I knew there, which is a rarity at Matt's. You know, it's just a scene there. I only saw my in-laws.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you know them. But I'm an outlaw. For what? What do you want it for? What was your crime? I haven't been trimming my wicks lately.

Oh, shit. No, I have been. Three to five. I have been. I was gifted a very nice triple wick candle recently that I've been enjoying a lot. So I've really had to trim those wicks. I don't know if you need to triple down on wicks. No, you got to triple down.

If you can triple down, that means you have a candle of size. I feel like I'm good with a single wick. Dude, you're exposing yourself right now. You don't have candles of size. That's right. That's embarrassing. You want me to cut this out? No, but it's a thicker wick. It's the girth a single wick. Dude, you're exposing yourself right now. You don't have candles of size. That's right. That's embarrassing. You want me to cut this out? No, but it's a thicker wick.

It's the girth master of wicks. It's just like a rope from a pirate ship. That would actually be kind of swag. That would have like a scented candle that would have like a full-on rope as the wick. Oh, yeah. Should we make the world's largest scented candle? Dude Perfect can't do it. Why can't they?

I mean, they could. They probably really could. Don't let them hear this. They'll probably start on it right now. The Dude Perfect candle? Like the leather from can't they? I mean, they could. They probably really could. Don't let them hear this. They'll probably start on it right now. The Dude Perfect candle? Like the leather from a ball? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It would for sure have leather in it. More on Dude Perfect in a little bit. Really? Yeah. Okay. I'll explain. We'll see how that ties in. I'll explain.

I reckon you want to know what I did, huh? I would like to know what Dave did this weekend, yeah. Well, I reckon I'm here to tell you. Friday. Friday night, man. That was a big catch up on sleep night. Had no sports. Had kind of a wide open night.

I decided I wanted to do a little. So it was like the first. What night were the Northern Lights? Was that Friday? It was Friday night. It was like the main event what night were the Northern Lights? Was that Friday? It was Friday night. It was like the main event. Friday night. For some.

I was like, I'm going to watch – I'm going to do a space doc, a space documentary, not doc anyone in space. Got to be careful. Reach out and touch on that space. Yeah, the tech's not there yet. So I fired up Netflix and I did an Infinity documentary. It's called A trip to infinity. I was like, all right, I kind of want to, it's not necessarily whatever. It's all sorts of shit.

I put it on. I took an early bird. I made it about 18 minutes and I passed out. I was so tired. It was, and I don't think it was the substance necessarily. It may have been, but I was in bed at like 10 45. Oh, I mean, early bird makes me sleep like a baby like it's it's the biggest benefit for me is that i know if i take it i'm going to

sleep i think if i had just gone in with a clear head i would have been able to to take it down but i i did not finish it i need to go back and check that out so i did a little space doc uh saturday we did a early mother's day dinner lunch at Matt's, the aforementioned Matt's El Rancho. This is after T-ball, final game, final game slash practice of the season. I don't know where you guys stand on these trophies, but everybody got a trophy. Wow, dude. Man, you know, I wanted to get mad that you know everybody got a trophy in the league

that they literally don't keep scoring but when i saw how excited my son was and the fact that he uh is now sleeping with the trophy oh i don't i really am not negative on the participation trophy thing no you should have made him thrown out right there in front of everyone that's cute it is cute he's very proud of it and he calls it he called it his the sparkly man yeah it's like shout out yeah shout out he wanted to bring it on the playground afterward and like let it go down the slide i'm like you know how you like this thing and you want to keep it let's not launch it down the slide as sick as it is to launch things down the slide this is not one of the things as it's a projectile out of every trophy

that you could win what what would be like the top trophy that you would definitely sleep next to if you won it right now? Oh. Like right now at this point in my life? Like if I won an Oscar, I would sleep with that shit. I don't feel like you're not going to win an Oscar. I know, but I think that's my top award weirdly. I think it's because it's such a cool looking award. So not the one that's like actually in play for us?

No, no, no. Any award. Yeah. Podcaster, like Austin's best podcaster. Yeah, I don't care if we get some like, yeah. Pod factors. Yeah. Most niche pod of the year.

Pod factors. I'm going Stanley Cup. If I won, yeah, league MVP. You got to kick your girl out, though. Bye. I'll go get a place. I'll go get a room. League MVP.

I'll probably sleep with that. Every time. That's more about me than the, you know, Stanley Cup's more of a team trophy. Oh, so you're an NHL MVP. I want to be more about me. I'm going with the team thing. Just kind of my mindset going forward, you know.

I'm on that shit now. I'm going to stick with my Oscar. Okay. Yeah. We get it for being on the production team. When are they going to start giving out Grammys for pods? I don't know, dude. have we been disrespected podcasts are kind of like a jam band if you think about it there is a podcast like we're just improvving over each other you know isn't there a committee that gives out rewards for shit for like podcasts yeah but i think it's all like pay

for play from what i can tell like i i don't think some of these pods are actually like you know moving the needle like the whiny girls are like oh shit we got nominated we don't need to we don't need to go right at the whiny girls we got what we got nominated ladies when are we gonna get don't worry i'm gonna spat an austin fat austin 50 fastest or whatever uh fast 50 god for one of the fastest growing businesses in Austin. That bullshit. That's a pay to play, isn't it? I don't know that.

That's not fair. What percent of companies that get like the fast 50 in Austin fail? Because they grew too fast. I mean, I can think of a few. I definitely think you have to pay to put your name in the hat. There's something. Yeah. You become eligible.

You have to subscribe. You got to lock in and spend money to make money we went to that ceremony like three years in a row i remember at grand x yeah but then the final one only certain people got invited we sent one affiliate we sent the name only certain people got invited I don't know how he kept qualifying. Yeah, I don't know either. Interesting. We had Mavs at 2.30 Saturday. Good guys won. Then we had a late Stars game. Punk dropped nine.

They've all been. It just seems like that gap between Mavs and Stars had a lot of time to think, get ready, get the mind right. Watched a lot of that at home. And then I, uh, I snuck out, I snuck out to Barton Springs saloon for a beer in the third period of the old stars game, uh, Saturday night, uh, shout out to Dan, happy birthday. And then I went home and then yesterday I cook steaks, steaks for my steaks for my wife and family. There's two things that my son will eat. Actually, there's one thing, really, and it's steak.

He won't eat meat other than steak. Okay. And he doesn't get his own steak, but he gets like some bites, and now he asks for steak, and he doesn't understand why we can't do it like more. Dude, he gets a petite, petite filet. A little tiny filet. Yeah yeah it's it's nice i'm happy that he's eating something other than like berries and mac and cheese so he eats steak from the united states yeah it's okay okay yeah okay wow refined enough so you're three-year-year-old's eating American steak and he's getting participation trophies? What are you...

Wow. He's never heard of the Chateau Brion. People are worried. He hasn't had it, apparently. Well, you know, his daddy is the Texas cuck. That's true. As you will learn. Hey, daddy is just...

He's not that guy, pal. He does not eat steak outside of the States. It's true. Yesterday was just a weird weather day, just kind of gloomy. Got out a little bit. Yeah. So fairly low key. Fairly low key.

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the mommies out there. And to the women in STEM who are also mothers. Yeah. Double down points for you. Yep, yep, yep. You got that bonus point. Mm-hmm, absolutely. Yeah, I didn't do much different, man.

Matt sold Rancho yesterday for Mother's Day. You know your boy went poncho style with chicken. That was a miss. Shouldn't have gone chicken. That was a Sally play. We split some stuff. I don't know. I went pretty pretty tame at matt's i didn't want to go too crazy friday night was the real show your boy was just trying to set up for those northern lights and so uh i set up a little cozy situation in my record room just pulled the chair out put tossed my feet up so i could watch the

sky a little bit didn't see shit man didn't see shit spawned some records though set up my headphones so i didn't have to wake up the kids austin was just it was just a no no flight zone right i guess so i guess so marble falls devastation marble falls was popping off go west my problem is looking north from my home i'm looking at you know downtown is in the way the light from downtown yeah. It's too much of a factor. It'll stifle it, too. Cloud cover, not good. Your boy also grilled a steak last night, Dave.

Hit him with that. Unfortunately, take my frat card. Hit him with the USDA Prime. Still a New York strip. Prime's still pretty good. Yeah, but, you know. Yeah, but it's from the States. Yeah, but, you know.

Dave, I also bought it on sale oh it's not frat you didn't pay full price not frat no i got i got the sale did you reverse sear it i didn't reverse sear it i just i just tossed it on the grill and let it let it absolutely uh cook what's your pull temp dude i pulled it uh i pulled it a little late last night um i pulled it like 135 because i wanted to make sure it was cooked enough for my girl okay uh it was mother's day it's about her yeah um and i'll let it sit for maybe a little too long too so it's a little overdone did you do the foil tent i did the foil tent yeah okay but then i let it sit for like way too long can do a lot of cooking off the grill and something people don't realize yeah people don't get that

it keeps the juice in was it was it dank yeah it's pretty good man pretty good yeah i cry i'll be honest i think i crushed it for for mother's day i just did everything i possibly could i was like folding laundry and shit i never fold her laundry we don't touch each other's clothes really that's the relationship i have yeah we don't touch each other's clothes but yesterday i was like you know what she. Yeah, we don't touch each other's clothes. But yesterday I was like, you know what? She got two loads of laundry that just started. I think your boy's going to hop in here and finish this out while she rides this nap out. I just feel like I'm going to fuck it up if I do that. I got a little bit of credit for it.

I was pretty happy with that credit. It's like, oh, this is supposed to be washed on delicate. Like, I don't even know how to use that setting. Nah, nah, nah. I got a little cute with the rosemary. Ooh. I know, but Dave, you're always little cute with the rosemary oh i know but dave you you're always hyper aware of over rosemary so i i we have a rosemary plant or whatever and i i clipped some and i was like i'm gonna throw it in this cast iron skillet that i like to to do searing in

too much it goes a long way i didn't. It does. I typically don't do that. And if I do it, I'll use it as like a garnish. This I actually cooked in there with the butter and it was heavy on the rosemary. Could have used less. It can go heavy. Be careful out there. It can go heavy. Yeah, I had a major issue at the grocery store.

I was trying to pick out a Barolo for my wife for a little Mother's Day dinner. I had this old couple and I didn't know what to do about this. They were just taking up all the real estate in front of the italian reds and they wouldn't move they were just looking at every single bottle and i was just like i said something like oh you might have couldn't hear me because they were so old and i was just like well now i'm just gonna mull around here for a while they stood there for like 10 minutes finally they moved and i was just like, God. Maybe their secret to longevity is being a nuisance.

Yeah. Just being in the way. Picking up their red want. I just try to get in the way as much as possible. I like to savor picking out my Barolos. What's your problem, lady? Move on. Your boy did finish Next Level Chef last night.

What a season season if anyone's looking for just a great cooking show on fox i look no further than next level chef you know who else is actually cooking a lot lately mugsy oh yeah we're doing a meetup with mugsy next month i'm very excited about this meetup it's in chicago it's my kind of town and these are my kind of jeans wow they make damn comfortable clothing for guys everywhere. They started by reinventing the jeans game in 2015, and now they make the best jeans, chinos, tops, joggers ever. We spent some time in their store not too long ago in Austin, Texas,

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so the only risk is never knowing how great they truly are. We launched a nice little video the other day announcing that Dumb Zone is officially a podcast that is affiliated with WASH Media. Yeah, we got to welcome the dumb fucks into the network. Is that their name? To who we're going with. Okay got to welcome the dumb fucks into the network is that their name to we're going with okay i'm a dumb fuck myself famously we already knew that you did anyone who's been around me knows that yeah so they're they're here man i'm so happy about this

they're here you're way too proud that's exciting stuff man oh yeah jake uh so dan and jake who's dan and jake wrote about a little bit in the newsletter um jake has become not only a friend of the show he's come down here he filled in for will a couple months ago right he's actually live in studio big shoes he's uh he's hopped on back in the day, happy hour live during COVID quite a bit. Jacob was an internet friend of mine, met through Twitter. He reached out like early touching base days and was like,

hey, love what you guys are doing down there. So I was like, oh, that's cool. This guy that I listened to on the radio here in Dallas, he listens to the pod. That's how we met, KJ through Jake. And now he is doing his own thing with his partner, Dan McDowell, also formerly of The Ticket in Dallas. And check out The Dumb Zone, man.

It's pretty cool to have them in the network. We're going to try to do some crossover stuff. Promise we won't ruin their show i think we're gonna ruin their show we're not gonna we're not telling them hey you can do this that you know it's that's not our thing we're just we're just it's a nice partnership and i think it'll be mutually uh beneficial as uh most partnerships are so their listeners i assume are pretty excited about this too yeah you know it depends on where you look yeah so no i've actually they're they're so excited that i've actually isolated some comments from the Dumb Zone subreddit.

Do you mind if I read some of these? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's see. Talking about how funny we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one actually directly talks about how funny we are. It says, is Washed Media supposed to be a comedy podcast network?

It was not clear from the video. Huh. You know what? I'll hand up. I'll take that L. I feel like there was some comedy. The video was a little heavy on Dave. No. It wasn't – They're probably referring to the part where we walk in and we're like, who's a dumb zone?

You know, they're very protective of their dumb fucks. I get it. I get it. Another person said, way to aim for the middle. Yeah. Is that towards us or them? I believe we are the middle in this context. Okay.

I'll take it. They like Ariana Grande too? Graduated from small to mid-sized to straight up just middle. That's fine with me. That's fine. We've been clear. We are not a large podcast network. No.

We are very, very upfront about being small to mid-sized. We're kind of a mom and pop shop. We're a boutique outfit how do you guys make money great question uh somebody said just off this video i'm not a fan of whatever wash media is okay happy for the gents and sure they did the research but if that video was supposed to be humorous that's concerning i Look, I urge you not to fully judge us from that one video. We do quite a bit more than that.

We have a whole body of work. You know, I'd like to lean into the video sucking, but the video did suck. It didn't suck. It did not suck. I like the video. Yeah, it did numbers. It did numbers.

Someone said, we had someone try, they initiated their loading phase. I wonder if we got them. It said, personally, I tried circling back a few weeks ago and thought the guys on that were conceited over laughing douchebags yeah that's okay they got us yep wait wait till you meet us i tend to overlap and also my douchebags it is fun to laugh yeah we i do like i think i think that we are proudly

and happily living in the area of douchebag that is a non-threatening douchebag but appreciatesates the douchey side of life. And I think that's a nice thing. Yeah. Look, we're not going to, we're not going to turn Dan and Jake into like that big of douchebags. Like I'll do my, I'll work on Jake. Dan is a lost cause. Like that's not going to happen to him. Dan's at a place where he cannot be douched out. Jake is still gettable and I'll do my best. Okay. I like that. Okay Okay Someone said Someone actually agreed With the above take They said

Subscribe based on Jake's appearance On their show And tried listening To a few episodes Thank you for your time You gave us a shot To earn your business

And that's all we can ask for So to those last two Thank you I think he gave us A really good compliment Based on the couple episodes That he listened to He said

All I can say Is that they sound like They'd get along great With the Dude Perfect guys Okay You do You famously have Gotten along great with the Dude Perfect guys. Okay. You do. You famously have gotten along great with them.

I played golf with Dude Perfect. These dumb fucks are very, very... Intuitive? They're very perceptive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They really have been picking up on some really nuanced stuff that most people require a loading phase for. Someone simply asked, are the washed guys woke oh i don't need them policing the content my boys put out well that was we got that woke meeting on wednesday with the dumb zone where we're going to sit down and it's operation wokeify imagine if we we gave them

parameters like you can't you can't talk you can't step outside the woke territory on this you got to stay super woke should we should we woke. Should we send them a fake email after the next episode being like, hey, guys, can you tone down talking about this, please? It's kind of having a negative effect on us. Yeah. You guys are not aware of what's going on in the world right now. How insensitive of you. Well, the final thing just said,

I felt like the dumb zone was really coming alive with a fun cast of characters during football fall streams. Now, Jake's douchebag pals from Austin are likely to spoil this kind of vibe in the future. Yeah. Wouldn't be the first time I spoiled some vibes for people. They call us the vibe spoilers. Yeah. I like being the loudest group of guys whenever you walk into a bar and just spoiling the vibe for everyone except your core.

I feel like we're vibe amplifiers more than anything. Yeah, right? We're the type of guys who show up to the bar, immediately ask the bartender if he can change the channel. Yeah. And then we just loudly talk, and then we'll put like 20 in the touch tones and then leave. Yeah.

That's us. That's what we do. That's what we do. Yeah. I'm glad that they're excited about this just as much as we are. Dude, major shout do. That's what we do. Yeah. I'm glad that they're excited about this just as much as we are. Major shout out to the Dumb Zone and their listeners. Is that a vocal minority?

Minority, I don't know if it's a minority. I think based on the subreddit, it was pretty 50-50. So a good representation. I'll take 50-50. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I'm just glad there's a conversation. And here's the cool thing.

And you don't have to listen to our show. No. That's one of the things. Like, we're not going to embed Dan and Jake's show into the middle of our show. Nothing they say can hurt you like anything in the TFM comments could hurt you. Yeah. We were born from a different, cut from a different cloth. Different breed. They don't make online personalities like us anymore.

Oh. We're different. Northern lights. Smoke is too loud. Southern comfort. You like that? I'll be honest. I'm really devastated we didn't get to see them.

Have you guys ever seen the Northern Lights in person? IRL? Nope. With your own two eyes? You have. I've seen them only a handful of times. Most of the times that I've seen them in northern Michigan, it's not the full show.

It's not the full thing. It's just like, oh, it's supposed to be clear tonight and there's something going on. We could probably go see them. Honestly, all the photos that people were taking made me just mad jealous of everyone. Did you see the photos from a former co-worker of ours, Carter Watkins watkins yeah did he just

happen to be god gave him the tastiest big ben trip of all time carter was our designer he was in big ben yeah carter was our designer at grand x and i'm not gonna lie if any if i could select one person from grand x to be able to be in big bend for the Northern lights on what, doing whatever you want to do, it would probably be Carter. He was probably the happiest person on earth. And I was happy for him, man. Yeah. I, when I, when I saw that Texas, they were like South, as far South as South Texas might see this, I thought we had a pretty good chance. I was a little worried because of cloud cover and the fact that, like I said earlier, live in South Austin, looking North isn't ideal, but I went out a few times, man. I was the only, I was looking around my neighborhood to see

if anybody else was out and they weren't. And I feel like this just went down with such little fanfare that people didn't know, unless you were online, you really didn't know about this well so like i didn't have anything to do friday night sally just wanted to go to bed i walked in to go watch a tv show with her she was already passed out and that's when i was like you know i'm gonna hook up the record player this cosmic event is happening maybe i can just listen to some records go pop outside every every couple you know turns of the record and see if i see anything it's just a big dud of a night man i was just so ready and i was i was on twitter the entire time just seeing people going off

just bummer friday night wasn't even like a really cloudy night there was plenty of plenty of gaps in the clouds the opportunity was like all right we're gonna see something and there was just nothing was there like an area that got it the best randy where where is the photos that you have put on the screen from? This is from my brother up in Michigan. This was about like 30 minutes north of Ann Arbor or probably like an hour north

of Ann Arbor. So it was pretty South Michigan still. But yeah, this is pictures that he took. And Dylan, you'll be happy about this. This little little dot right here. That's the international space station they said it just went by yeah so if you're looking on watching on screen the bottom really cool that's real real cool but yeah so yeah this is what they what they got to see so

they just i did i did read that we like you can see the northern lights as far south as austin which to me is like oh we we might like it's like the map that i saw was devastating because austin was like right outside of this little shaded area and it was just like i don't i don't think we're gonna get yeah i think even if we would have seen it it would have been like very dim and not super impressive am i went west of here like an hour you got some good shots am i crazy thinking that we just had a lot of cosmic events happening or am i just more aware of it because like you've low-key gotten into space you know it does seem like we've had some shit we've had two pretty dope solar eclipses in the past year yeah yeah one of them wasn't a full no one

predicted those either i told you what was happening on the other eclipse that i did right like what i was doing i didn't know what was going on and i was at a record store and everyone just started leaving the record store all at once and it started getting really dark and i was at a record store and everyone just started leaving the record store all at once and it started getting really dark and i was like what's going what and then finally i realized i was like there must be something going on in the sky and uh it was just like but i've never been more confused as to why i was alone in this record store and everyone's outside like in the dark got pretty dim it was cool it was cool it was a fall time i think it was the fall time i think it was i think it was fall and then yeah in april so yeah there's a lot of shit has gone down this this thing yeah i'm disappointed

so this ended up not being that bad of a solar storm because there was a good that was the buzz a couple days before that this is going to interfere with like global communication yeah i did it was a pretty minor i don't know i don't know nothing seemed disrupted nothing here i'm still able to communicate so a solar storm i shouldn't try to describe what happens okay based on the graphic that i have a solar wind just absolutely flies off that sun goes earth's way magnetic field surrounding earth interacts with these solar winds and suddenly we got just a high number of particles that hit earth at the same time and we're just absolutely vibing you get the lights yeah yeah that's basically it i don't know what the magnetic shield is but it's around

the magnetic field so you got to think that it shields it yeah i got to tell you i don't know what the magnetic shield is, but it's around the magnetic field. So you got to think that it shields it. Yeah, I got to tell you, I don't quite comprehend how solar storms work and what it means for Earth. It sounds like it's a terrifying thing. Oh, there's a storm from the sun. I mean, okay. Yeah, part of the reason I ask this, like if there's been more shit going on, like are we closer to extinction than we realize? more shit going on like are we are we closer to extinction than we realize like it's are we going to be on twitter one weekend and it's going to be like hey so there's another solar storm and this one's not good i don't know it sounds like it's going to get real hot you know as solar it means

sun you know what i mean that's when the shield field comes into play you understand the shield field the the the shield field the magnetized one and the demagnetized magnetized one which by the way magnets how do they work no one actually knows the answer to that so it's like uh it's like 1500 the year 1500 and you're outside and this shit goes down pretty wild huh you know it would change your whole perspective on stuff right like wouldn't you immediately think that something was going your whole perspective on stuff right like wouldn't you immediately think that something was going like that like the world you you wouldn't think that there was some like solar thing happening you don't even know super confusing have you guys

been seeing like a week ago that uh volcano that was in like south america or somewhere that was like erupting and there was like lightning coming from it and stuff like people want to go travel yeah rogan posted about 15 separate videos of it on his stories and i watched every one of them i would think that was the gods were mad at us too yeah think about right about uh i think this was a reward think about like a tornado and you're just out on the you know the prairie or something and it's just you just see this thing and it looks like a finger of god yeah now that we have you know the technology to predict these things it's like you just see this thing and it looks like a finger of god yeah now that we have you know the technology to predict these things it's like we were ready for them but

before that existed people were just freaking out all the time when shit like this happened if you saw if you saw the northern lights for the first time ever and you were like a 30 year old like neanderthal which i don't think they lived to 30 but like you're an older neanderthal who had never seen this kind of thing like wouldn't you just think you're about to like lift off the ground and like go to space you'd think this was your time what uh so you're a older neanderthal who had never seen this kind of thing like wouldn't you just think you're about to like lift off the ground and like go to space you'd think this was your time what uh so you're a 30 year old neanderthal what's your secret to longevity keep in mind you don't speak a language i i was gonna do a neanderthal voice but i was afraid it's just not gonna come out good your secret you just yeah you have a saber tooth tiger uh

gonna come out good you're seeger you just yeah you have a saber-toothed tiger uh tiger blood tiger blood yeah you take a little nip of tiger blood every night yeah yeah dude maybe charlie sheen was onto something yeah also had aids charlie sheen is he alive he has aids i thought he had david oh i think so all right that was like hepatitis or something. I think it's HIV. That's different, yeah. It might have been just HIV. It wasn't. He's HIV positive. But does he have AIDS? No, very different.

What a run that dude went on when he was on drugs. Remember he tried to parlay it into like a tour and he would go and like they had like a host and they'd bring him out and it was the worst footage you've ever seen it was terrible clearly had no material the the whole bit had passed him by it was very bad my warlock usually usually when like celebrities like go on drug binges they like end up like kind of going behind the scenes and going to like rehab and stuff he he did a tour you got to double down on that. Yeah, he's like, no, I'm going to go city to city and be a madman.

Wasn't it well known that he wasn't a good guy? It wasn't just that, oh, this dude's crazy and parties and drinks. Pretty serious allegations, right? Well, at least we got Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men out of it. Is that who replaced Charlie Sheen? Yeah. Yeah. Does he also wear the bowling shirts?

I don't know. I'll ask my dad next time I talk to him if Ashton did or not. Okay. You ready? Hold on. Winning. That's good, dude. That was good.

That was really good. That was a good knuckle crack yeah actually well you never know i hope the dumb fuck stuck around for that the dumb fucks are about to change their tune we we finally won them over yeah it took them it took them 45 minutes in this episode okay these guys got something okay hold up let dave cook i can see i can just see a little subreddit post on there. Like, dude, I wasn't sold until Dave's Charlie Sheen. They're doing the- Just blew my mind.

The Dolphins fan from the draft gift. Okay. Okay. So these are the guys that Jake and Dan are in bed with? Yeah. That's awesome. We're going to make the dumb zone guys love us. Yeah.

You guys are going to love us. We're going to space dock with all of them. Mm-hmm. Reach out and space dock that's right do you think there's any city to city uh portal docking happening what is going on with these portals man who so these are art installations in major cities and it's just portals to other cities where you can see what they're doing at their portal uh the most notable one i guess is new york to dublin which we're seeing a lot of uh footage from dave we should go up and do that so we can see our our our ancestors yeah put up a sign like anyone from uh i don't think your ancestors will be in the

portal because i think they've passed on well Well, it actually looks back in time. Oh, I didn't know that. Dude, I heard that they were going to put one in Austin, but they were afraid that they didn't want... Fuck. They want Arch to go up to it. This is, of course, a transfer portal joke. You think he would walk through it? Yeah, they were afraid he was going to go to it and suddenly be like an an international footballer he just poses in front of it and slowly starts this oh he's

entering the portal he's doing the he's doing the the meme of the guy on the uh the balcony like no did y'all did y'all austin i guess probably did but did jill's towns ever have like sister cities or like pen pal towns we we had pen pals in fourth grade in lithuania sick and like i remember remember i got we had to include a photo of ourselves to send to our pen pals and my lithuanian pen pal sent a photo of himself back and it was just him chilling at like a um like a waterfall and he was just wearing like a t-shirt and the shortest jean shorts i'd ever seen in my entire life which i think was just a european style back then but i remember looking at the photo and being like dude my pen pal is wearing these weird jean shorts like i don't want to write this guy anymore this

is weird he was ahead of his time yeah he was he was i mean he was just doing mid 90s short shorts kind of a vibe That's sick. So we had pen pals in like second or third grade. And I remember them being, it was just another school in New Mexico, which is so like another all New Mexico, fine state, I'm sure. I just, I'm looking for a little bit more variety. Was it like a science teacher who was maybe looking for a little more edge in life? Like needed to make money like in fast for his family it was kind of had a chip on his shoulder

ever since he cashed out for five thousand dollars in a business that he was the brain of yeah no it wasn't like that at all oh okay okay no it wasn't like that at all it was more like so the teacher didn't buy his son a dodge charger no that didn't happen i think the teacher just had a relationship or new used to work in New Mexico and was like, hey, your pen pals are in New Mexico. That's pretty cool, though. Fritz loves sending letters right now. Which city would we want to portal with?

From Austin. Nashville. It's like the same city. I want to be like, we're kind of the same, but we're doper. It's the same city. We're 10% doper than you. You guys couldn't even get Mary Cutter and she lives right there.

Where does Mary Cutter live? Louisville, dude. For real, man. I'm going Tokyo. Okay. Some wild shit going down. There's no sound back and forth, right? It's just a camera.

Yeah, and you can walk up to the camera with your phone. Maybe you have a certain photo on your phone you wanted to show the people from New York. But you can't talk shit to other people? No. You can show them stuff. Well, I mean, the person in Dublin just held up a photo of the two towers getting a plane rammed into them. So they are talking shit. That's fucked up.

Someone got a little bit of a picture of a potato. That dude better not come over here. The one video that stuck with me that I saw was just a dude in New Yorkork or i think no actually he was in dublin just absolutely hammered on the street just doing a line of coke out of a little tiny spoon see that that's what it's for i want to see people doing blow like it was just late it was like 2 a.m late night and just yeah he just just doing drugs you think it's it stays on at all hours of like is on at 3 a.m i think it's on at all times that it's a portal dude it's a this is a cool idea i actually think this is a really cool i don't hate it at all but

like you can you can't have it on at all times like society's not built to have this not go south at some point has anybody pulled crank yet well that's the thing like if we got an austin dc one do you think tony p would do a crank reveal you think he does it on the portal here's the thing though if you do that you don't know who's on the other side of that portal. So let's say there's a child and Tony P does his crank reveal. Well, buddy, you got a warrant. Yeah. My friend, you better not come around here.

Although if the child who sees it is not in your city. It brings up a lot of jurisdictional issues, right? Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. I think you're violating a lot of state line issues. Could be a federal deal. This would be an easy way for you to campaign in different cities without actually having to travel to them. You could host campaign events. Yeah, that's okay.

Again, I'm not campaigning for anything. That's actually really what I would want to know. For any dumb fucks out there, there's a hot dog running for president. You're just going to confuse them. They probably already know about that they're gonna confuse them let's not get into that that's all we'll say for now you guys can sort it out go listen to um um march or bit madness what dave nothing i was checking out the the post-grad problem subreddit to see if anybody had some stellar advice. There was something on there a couple days ago that made me laugh, as it frequently does. This is great, but you're going to get – someone's going to drop a load. It's going to be – this is going to get out of control.

I hope it's there when we go to New York in the fall. It's going to get vandalized too. It's going to be a whole thing. Yeah. Has anyone vandalized any of these yet? I hope not. Leave them alone, man.

It's art. Don't touch art. Go find a dumpster. Has Morgan Wallen thrown a chair into it yet? It's good. I don't know. It's good.

I don't know, man. As long as he's not... Never mind. Can we get... I'm going to need... Dylan, I'm going to need you to get ready. We have a new sponsor alert. We have a new sponsor.

New sponsor alert. The dumb fucks are going to love that. They're going to love that. Tavor. Well, they know Big Tex up down this way. Oh, yeah, they know. They know. They get it.

They know. We have their respect. That's right. Tavor is craft beer delivered. We got a box at the office recently, and it had a lot in it. It disappeared fairly quickly as well. Yeah. Here's the thing.

When you send beers to the office, whether they have crafted vortexes in the long neck of the bottle, or if they're just really good craft beers from just various breweries, we're probably going to drink them. And Tavor makes it very easy to do that. They've got the best breweries in the country, rated by beer aficionados, just giving them beer, just send it to them and giving it to us. This stuff is awesome. It's got, I mean, all the beers that I've had so far have been, one, unique, and two, just really, really good. Yeah, the – I'm going to go ahead and shout one out. The Krippi.

We got a – look, we got a Krippi. It's a Pilsner. It's so good. It's so drinkable. I had one. So you're telling me it's a light and mild beer with notes of citrus peel and lemongrass? Yeah, shout out to Tripping Animals Brewing Co. This says that it has a crisp mouthfeel, David.

Can you confirm or deny? Yeah, I've got the crispiest mouth you'll ever see, and I can confirm that. If you roll with Tavor, you're rolling with the best. There's nothing better than snagging a highly rated limited release beer from the nation's most sought after breweries. It's just great. They do the searching for you, giving you access to a wide range of craft brews from across state lines,

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I had some, what was it? What one was the Crippie? I thought it was a Pils. Oh, was it a Pils? I say Pils. I had a lager that was called like the Enormous or something. Just one of the best lagers I've had. The gigantic lager. But again, we love supporting independent people. What's better than small businesses supporting small businesses? Independent craft breweries take pride in the art

of brewing. So when you choose and support indie beer, you're helping fuel dedication, passion, innovation with delicious results. It's just easy. Go do it. If you are VIP and I mean, you're just a VIP. If you are a Tavor member, download the Tavor app, enter code steam in your profile and you can spend 25 on uh for on beer and get 10 off your crate all you have to do is spend 25 worth of on beer and you get 10 off of your crate go check it out if you guys do it send us a send us a little uh view of what you got yeah give us a crate reveal ooh crate reveal when let's see it we'll do a crate reveal next time they send next time they send us one i promise we will reveal the crate well we we recently had beers with bro bible brandon um you guys might know him from a website bro bible we talked about it last week for a little

bit um and he he bestowed upon us a gift yes he did it's one of the best gifts the the office has ever gotten but we don't really know what to do with it um he essentially gave us a ninja not like a ninja like human oh okay uh the brand ninja right they made a pizza cooker it would be sweet if he just gave us a ninja who cooked pizzas for us at all times but that might be getting too many this thing is substantial it's yeah have you lifted up the main piece of machinery i feel bad that he brought it 60% to the office without any help. I had to go out and grab a side of it. That thing's formidable. Yeah, when he was telling us that he had one to give up,

I don't know why I kind of just pictured the size of an air fryer. Yeah. It's much more substantial than that. It's a big boy. It's for serious pizza customers. I was imagining one of those Nudas, which look like pretty minimal and light you know what i'm talking about yeah no they're called nunas here's the question where's this thing gonna live i i don't know i here's here's the thing here's the thing here's the thing okay do i have room for it? Yes. Do I like the idea of making pizzas at home? Also, yes.

Do I think I'm actually going to make more than one round of pizzas at home? I don't know. That's my concern. I'm worried that I would get it, set it all up, and then suddenly, I've taken this thing on and not done anything about it. Pre-kid Will DeFreeze would be making pizzas weekly. You and Sally would be all over this. You'd probably get be all over this. You'd probably get really good at it. Is that how you do it? Yeah, dude.

I got that big thing. Does it have one of those big things? Yeah, it came with one. It came with one of those things. So we can actually do that shit, dude. Can we paddle Randy's backside with it? Your tight little ass is what he's saying. That's a question for Randy. Hey, Randy.

The guy who signed your check. Paddling. All right, we won't do not consent to you paddling with me. We won't do it then. The guy who signs your checks wants to know if he can paddle your tight little ass. This is exactly what I'm talking about. This is why I need to put my truth to power to word in my article. This is what I'm talking about. All right. That's enough out of you.

He's going to go so hard on his rebuttal that we're going to have to let Dylan go. He's going to just call Dylan out for a bunch of sketchy shit do i want this yes do i have room yes but not as much i think will has more room for it because well part of the reason i have room for it is i own zero outdoor furniture and so i just have an empty deck so my deck will consist of just a grill and a pizza oven if this is the case i think but i also worry like if i if i show up at the house with this rather than like being applauded by my wife like oh awesome you're gonna make so many pizzas she's gonna be like where are we gonna put that and you're never gonna use that do you have a grill and a smoker or do you just have a smoke

i just have a smoke okay okay okay i was worried that you had a grill and a smoker and that was maybe going to affect things can you make pizza on like a green egg yes yes do you have a green egg no no i i think green eggs are too difficult and we can't leave it up here because we don't have like a kitchen to like actually no and i'd love to set it up here and just make pizzas here but like we don't exactly have the kitchen to make it. We do that once and suddenly we've got a dirty machine that we've got to transport somewhere else. Whoever takes it needs to have a pizza party, though.

That's the thing. We need to have a pizza off. I was going to concede it to you with the condition that you have to do pizza Wednesday. A pizza party where everyone gets to do their own toppings and cook their own pizza i could host a pizza party hosting wills like out you're doing the you're doing the thing i'm cooking yeah i like mine extra done okay i've been requesting mine a little crispier lately there's a pizza place that we've been talking about quite a bit. And while I do love their pizza, occasionally their pizza could use about four more minutes in the

oven. I've started ordering pizza from a certain place online and they have the option to do it a little extra. Yeah. And I've been happy with my selections lately doing that. I don't like it when I pick up the Zah. If I if i'm playing my za card dumb fucks get get into this buckle up open your ear holes blow your fucking minds you get to eat pizza once a week so sorry that is part of the deal so to all the listeners of the dumb zone i'm worried that the dumb fucks are not going to like well bad news we'll go over we'll send them out the link to that episode but when i pick up the crust and it's flaccid, flaccid za, I get upset. That's not my style.

The most upsetting for me is if I pick up a piece and the cheese sticks to the box and then it just slides right off. That's the most devastating possible thing. You get the avalanche of toppings. It's crazy. It just pulls them right off. Then you just got straight up tomato on the za. The worst for me is when I'm bringing a pizza home from the place and i have to set it on my passenger seat and it's slightly tilted like that so all the pizza just kind of runs to one side of the box it's all mush

together right i just need something to level it out like uh what could we i got something for you something like that existed we've got a 3d model of it right there, Dylan, if you want to show the dumb fucks out there. It's a pledge? Show the dumb fucks? Are you saying pledge? Oh. Here you go, dumb fucks. This is a pledge.

Yeah, you dumb fucks. Yeah, it's a miniature version of it. Oh, do you guys not have pledges? Oh, you don't have a pledge? Does the dumb zone not have any twade marks pending? Sucks for y'all, man. You're intellectual property. Oh.

You like pee? Oh. Yeah, the worst is when you order a pizza and you didn't realize it was going to be served this way, but it's actually a big sausage pizza. And you open the door and you're like, oh, fuck. Didn't realize we ordered a big sausage pizza. It's annoying. You're going to have to come back later, sir.

If I had a dollar for every time that happened. You got to get out of here, man. When they messed up our pizza recently, Sally did not complain. They did it all themselves. They gave us a $10 off coupon. Like a little like wooden disc that says $10 off. Okay. Have you ever received this from a restaurant?

No. I've received that from a coffee shop. Like they just have like a little disc and you can use it, whatever. no i've received that from a coffee shop like they just have like a little disc and you can use it whatever and i can i use this for a lunch special and not get in trouble with my like is she gonna remember that this thing exists that we have this little chip like you're good or can i just go play that and get a six dollar lunch special i lost it oops i lost it use it as a ball it must be in the register at pine house why is it so dark in our office out there i don't know did brett turn off all the lights out there

for some reason? Is there an eclipse? Can you verify eclipse right now? It's just a little cloudy outside and Brett famously is allergic to light. What the fuck's his deal? He likes sitting in the dark so much.

It's that skin, man. He gets burned easily. Brett does pull off the most vampire vibes of this company he's a dog brett's a vampire dude for sure like he's the who is the blonde vampire in interview with the vampire it's a real topical reference i'm sure the kids love it sarah michelle geller yeah it was her it was her yeah it was brad pitt no no brad pitt we move on i'll fuck off a new segment uh this week and throwing a fat ass dip in you guys ready for this okay yeah my browser's not um apparently um people are just absolutely cashing in on the zen rewards program do you guys know that zen had a rewards program no i'm clicking this link that's in here but it's my computer is not liking the link at all says danny darlene was not a fan of her husband's zen habit

but then she found out she could get an ipad out of it danny darlene funny how things change worried about your husband's health and then suddenly you're like, hold on, but I can get an iPad out of it? How much zen is this dude going through in order for her to get a laptop out of it? Was Danny Darlene just a Roseanne character? An iPad. Yeah, it sounds like it. What the fuck? It sounds like it.

Danny Darlene. Danny. I don't like you zinning over there. What's your secret to success, Darlene? Well, Darlene realized that you could get rewards, and she said, I'm going to take advantage of this. Inside every circular plastic container resembles, whatever,

each container comes with a unique code that can be redeemed on the company's website for 15 points, but they can only scan 60 cans per month. So you can get however many points. 60 times 15. If you're scanning that many cans a month, you might need to tone it 60 times 15 if you're just getting that many cans a month you're you might need to tone it down a little bit oh my god but people are getting like amazon gift cards um for 504 containers you can get a ninth generation ipad ipad for uh 15,000

points or a thousand cans you can get a dyson air wrap hairstyler which are very expensive those are expensive yeah a thousand cans what do they run they're like what six seven bucks a can probably a Dyson Airwrap hair styler, which are very expensive. Those are expensive, yeah. A thousand cans? What do they run? They're like, what, six, seven bucks a can? Probably. Okay, so you're spending,

let's call it seven grand. And then you get, that's not a bad rewards program. No, it's not that bad. Like at all. Do you ever, I mean, anytime I've ever gone in with like my Amex points to go see what I can get,

I'm always like, oh. It's like 10% back. I can some airpods i don't want airpods yeah 10 back's not that bad not bad at all is it a zin branded ipad that would be kind of sick do that those dyson hair hair dryers man i used to do uh i used to do all the ordering from uline at my old company where we'd order all of our shipping supplies from they have some of the most impressive customer service phone calls you've ever seen. Efficiency, like crazy. But if you ordered enough, you could order like random shit from their like catalog that they just had. And they always had a big selection of Detroit Lions tech material polos that only came in XL. And so I would just over order every order and just like

stock us up to the gills just to make sure that I could get a tech polo out of it finally my boss caught on and was like why are you getting lions tech polos with every order i'm like well we got a lot of boxes do you guys remember the website you go click and you could like bid on something for a cent and then like if no one bid on it you get an ipad for like 13 or something i thought that was a total scam see those commercials i don't think it's a scam i think it's but i think it's just misleading because it makes you feel like you can bid for a cent and get a 13 ipad when in reality everyone's doing like there's so many people bidding at one point that like they're just making a ton of money i don't really know my brain doesn't work in these parameters yeah you see there's a commercial that runs like i feel like late night and it's a guy being like,

oh, I got a 65 inch TV for $18. I got a Peloton for 45 cents. Yeah, and it's like that, yeah, that's happened once ever. It's not the norm.

Now I kind of want some fucking Zen shit. I'm going to start, I'm going to start just buying tens a day so I can get like a bunch of shit well we're a lucy company actually will so do they have a rewards program i don't know

yeah the reward is that you're getting a superior product yeah you get a breaker you get to break something that's right they got the fred durst nod that's right i hear yeah but the the lucy rewards program is that like you get like our stamp of approval like you get to know that like we approve of what you're doing we nod our heads and say frat on good sir to you fogs fogs to you fogs fogs to the dumb fucks there was a world where i had a daughter named lucy you could call her lou i could if i wanted to i really liked that name for a bit here but i just i didn't go i didn't go with it you could have another one stop not ready for that mentally i feel like i'm just out of the fog of heaven number two hey guess what i can't oh yeah fuck so jealous dude it's so sick speaking

of i gotta take my sample and get it tested make sure that's actually a fact what i just said not like a speculation oh you have to get that tested yeah you got they's actually a fact, what I just said, not like a speculation. Oh, you have to get that tested? Yeah, you got, they want to, do you want to hop in my telehealth appointment tomorrow and just ask my guy? Yeah, well, if they just have to test the sample of my, just bring the sample into the office. I have to bring my product in.

Please don't bring it in here. No, you have to bring it in within like 30 minutes or an hour, unless you want to go there and do it, which I don't. Isn't there a story about, I don't want to, I would rather do that deed at home i got i got my blood like taken the other day and i kind of forgot how much blood they take i looked down at the vials and was like oh my god

i didn't feel lightheaded until i just saw my blood just swirling around here i can't look at it or i i have passed out several times from giving blood. It's not fun. Type A positive. I don't even know what my type is. O negative, universal donor. Facts? Yeah. Or do you just like the band? No, I never liked type O negative. Dude, you're super into type O negative.

No, that was not a cool band to like in the 90s. You're super into them. I feel like I'm entering into a grunge phase. Oh, yeah? I've been following some grunge accounts on Twitter. Did you get a little high and send me a Hootie and the Blowfish covering Stone Temple Pilots?

Dude, I was not high for that, sir. That just hit. That's a great cover. Dude, Hootie and the Blowfish was an underrated band. I feel like they became

a bit because of just some of their hits. Because their name was Hootie and the Blowfish. Yeah. There's worse names out there for bands. Like Mannequin Pussy.

That's a great name. What about raining the boiler makers pussifier is a band name not just a word i blurted out for oh i thought you just said the word no no is that a real band pussifer right yeah jay-z sampled that i hope you dumb fucks like that one yeah hey dumb fucks hope you enjoyed today's episode you dumb fucks is that really what they got they call it yeah okay i'm a proud i'm a i'm a card carrying member didn't didn't jake have an issue with his sample when it came to uh 23 and me he uh yeah they sent it to remember what is specific. He thought that, he didn't realize

that it was, all you needed was saliva to send in. I think he thought that it was another discharge. Another good band,

by the way. Yeah, seriously, he thought you just click, click, pulled into something and sent it in. As someone pointed out on Twitter,

how would females send their samples in if that were the case? Well, I guess he didn't think that through um i mean i i have answers but i don't really want to give them okay okay don't really want to go down that road all right i have two i famously have two 23andme accounts this is all gonna come back and bite you someday what will be used to frame me roads roads is going to approach you 20 years from now and be like dad i just did 23andme i think you have a twin brother i don't this is me talking to him in the future no i don't they

just i had to do this ad deal and even though i didn't want to do it at first i kind of got forced into doing it for the company and then they lost it. Then I did another one and then they found the other. So now it looks like I have a twin brother. I don't, to my knowledge. Or is this just some ploy to disguise your twin brother? No, I really don't know why I would be hiding my twin brother. I'm not, I'm not going to Drake my twin. Damn. Does he have a daughter or what? I don't know. I'm seeing some booty chatter. That would be weird if you were hiding your twin brother.

Twin brothers, twins in general, tend to be very close and connected and not want to hide the other. And twins. What if we found out Dave had a conjoined twin this entire time and he'd been hiding them under his rowbacks? But he's just a can of Coors Light. I mean, that'd be fine. It's confusing, but it's just a can of Coors Light I mean that'd be fine it's confusing but makes sense dumb fucks probably don't get it they don't know about the twins let's get out of here let's get out of here bye you