Circling Back - Medieval Times, Bison, and Built Different Linda

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

The whole squad at Medieval Times is sick of your antics, Linda Skeens is a PROBLEM at the local fair, bison continue to do what bison do at national parks, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low as $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:38) Medieval Times Down Bad (31:51) Linda Skeens is Built Different (45:45) Stop Trying Bison (1:00:00) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Sunday: www.getsunday.com/steam20 (20% off) Everlane: www.everlane.com/steam (10% off first order + free shipping) Rothys: www.rothys.com/steam Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy heart seltzer the only heart seltzer with vitamin c and superfruit acerola my name is will defrees it's my left david roth yeah this is a tough one to announce but i'll be the one to do it so it lasted all 18 hours but our partnership with ernston young uh is no more they did audit our game show randy's game show yesterday, which you can check out on Patreon. But we had to call off the partnership because of recent news. In light of that recent news, you know, you can't have somebody out there who actively has employees cheating on ethics exams. It's going to save us money in the long run,

and I know it's kind of a stain on our our record but it is what it is do they know which one was cheating on the ethics exam was it ernst or was it young it was uh unfortunately ernst and young fuck guys you gotta play good cop bad cop there and what makes this thing a little more it's mr ernst from hey dude from Hey Dude. Really? I totally know what this news is about. Obviously, I pay attention. But for those who don't, maybe just explain what happened real quick. Let me just do something other than read you a headline.

Ernst & Young fined $100 million after employees cheated in exams. $100 million? I've been slapped with a record five. That's a lot of scrilla. Yeah, regulators discovered that the company knew some of the people were getting a little fast and loose with the ethics. Call me crazy, but I mean, I know nothing about anything. I feel like an ethics exam is kind of a layup.

You got to cheat on that? Business ethics. Right. Billy Madison, for those keeping track at home. We're reference guys. We make sick movie references. I call him EY. Yeah, dude. I almost interned for him.

Oh, yeah? My dad's partner. Why didn't you? I ended up going to Goldman Sachs and doing something completely different. It was wealth management. Sounds like a good yeah good gig yeah i got fired okay you cheated on the ethics exam yeah it turns out i never graduated college i forged my transcript dude the girl the girl that wrote into uh sunday scaries for a worst

monday thing the other day uh i've never gotten more responses to somebody saying that they grad they they thought they graduated from college four years ago and found out that monday morning that they had not in fact graduated from college just like is this like how zach found out he was like one credit short of graduating yeah this girl didn't know she had i think it was one credit so she he had to do a performance of Swan Lake with the ballerinas or whatever, a ballet. Was Zach in good shape? No. He was soft bod.

He had Luca bod. It's facts. He also was standing next to A.C. Slater the entire time, who was like the most ripped high schooler of all time. Yeah, that's not fair. He's different. He was juicing big time. His ass was popping in those counterfeit jeans.

Which, okay, which, the uh the wrestling match between them ac slater or the kid from oklahoma state uh you talking about the aj ferrari yeah aj ferrari no one's pinning aj do you think aj ferrari takes out ac slater eats ac slater for lunch slater's got oh god slater is not a prayer man he's not ready for that aj ferrari is not a prayer, man. He's not ready for that. AJ Ferrari is just a little too electric for Slater. And too alpha. Like, AJ Ferrari never would have dated Jesse Spano in high school. Never. AJ Ferrari.

What, that nerd? He's playing in the field all four years. You can't lock him down. He's like, yeah, dude, I breadcrumbed her because she was giving me some test help. He breadcrumbs everybody. Yeah. He does not tolerate gobble mode. He's like, yeah, I ghosted her after our ap english

exam yeah i actually gave her the caffeine pills that dude's so sick hey so what happened with the young lady who didn't graduate what do we know anything else i don't know she i asked her for an explanation and she sent me a long explanation and i think she has to no i read it i read it no i hit her back with uh like oh i'm happy for you or i'm sorry that happened uh tldr you can intro me whenever you're ready man dylan shivery ladies and gentlemen but yeah we'll insure you you mentioned earlier um he pointed out that i'm wearing a buttoned down shirt that is correct it's part of my new initiative to uh dress shitty less often yeah um after bae and i had a conversation recently and she was we had this like if you can change one thing about me what would you change and hers was i wish you dressed shitty less often so here i am that's a new for a living that's a

fighting answer for that question yeah she acknowledges that when i want to when i want to put an outfit together when i step out like i can i can put a fit together but like going to work and just day-to-day stuff uh i dress like shit and she she wants to me to change that she's tired of you getting body bagged by will and i yeah what do you white t-shirt guy oh yeah me and my white t-dog what are you got a problem with white t's no they're fine i mean just we're gonna what'd you tell her that's the opposite of the white tea that they were rapping about yeah that's gotta say what what'd you tell her that's a trap question yeah and i had to answer first which felt a little unfair and mine was like my mind was not as light-hearted i mean it wasn't like bad i'm not gonna say what i said mine was

like i was like it was like a serious answer right i would have been like my answer would have been like honestly like i just feel like you should stop simping for me so hard. Do we got to crack some intern skull? No, Dylan. Okay, so we've had an issue during recording of podcasts that the interns like to go get ice out of the ice machine, which is a jarring noise. Hey, and that ain't cheap. And so Dylan yesterday decided to put up a sign on the refrigerator.

A post-it. Yeah, he took a pink post-it note and wrote, no ice machine during recordings, management. Weirdly enough, the post-it note sign did not withstand the test of time and was on the ground by the end of the day. And when I tried to put it back up,

it just fell down immediately again. Cool, Adam ripped it off. We have to do something about the ice machine. Yeah. day and when i tried to put it back up it just fell down immediately again cool adam we had it off we have to do something about the ice machine yeah or the or we just crack some intern skulls like i said really obnoxious and it distracts me every time it happens get some tape and just do like an x over it well the thing is like when we're not recording is ice is fair game remove the tape when we're done that's a lot of work put a padlock on it put it in rice there's a number of things we could do so when are you going to start dressing well instead of shitty you're looking at oh right oh you've started oh i've launched uh the dress shitty less often campaign and this is what you're seeing now is

result of that it's a button down it's a nice gray button down shirt i don't know what's happened to me since moving into this office the new office but i have been dressing nicer since moving to the new office i've been wearing like pants every day and stuff it's weird you're wearing denim yeah denim denim your work and your hey place of work think about if she knew dylan when he was wearing like 1998 era like and one basketball shorts every day let's be honest i still would have locked her down oh please i don't know i still would have locked that's a different dude still would have slid into my dm's pulled up wearing aero post all she would have slid in like damn are those russell athletic shorts dude the

thing is you did have russell athletic i was like i would be like yeah that's what they were yeah i shouldn't i shouldn't slander and one well i had some night has in one guy i would never wore and one stuff i had some nike ones and some some black russell ones that you made fun of the russell ones were the ones that you changed into them in the grand x office and i remember looking over just being like you gotta get new shorts you just have to see the thing is when i go to the gym to put big boy weight up, weight that you would never dream of putting up, I don't care how I look. I'm there for business only.

I don't dream about putting weight up. That's not like some ambition I have deep down. I'm not there to make friends, all right? I'm there to put big boy weight up. Dave knows. He's seen me in full mode. I haven't seen you in like eight days, so. I go to a different one now.

Oh, okay. Never met him. No, you know, back in the day, I. I go to a different one now. Oh, okay. Never met him. No, you know, back in the day, I was really big in the and one scene. Really? Yeah, I used to, me and the professor were kind of on tour together. They called me the grad assistant.

Really? Yeah. By the way, the gym. Were you just throwing him oops the entire time? I was just kind of on the sideline, like doing this. By the way, the gym downtown. Stinks. Very, the ratio of dudes to females is like four or five to one.

And it's just Hunk Central. It is the hunkiest gym I've ever seen. You said you're not there to make friends. You're just there to watch hunks? I think it's where the college hunks train, honestly. They have their own gym. It's just a big warehouse. They just move boxes?

Yeah. Heavy boxes? The front door just has like a misting machine that does spray tan when you walk in. So you just walk in. Where do we stand on the mist machine, the mist fan at patio bars? Love them. Love them. Absolutely love them.

Do you ever wonder if they're actually making you cooler? They are. What do you mean? Because just the dampness the moistness as you often say just kind of gets on your skin and it doesn't really dry and you just kind of feel like well am i shiny what's going on um well the ones at range 616 are a fan as well as a mister so it's not like it's just hitting you with mist it's a fan mister it's it's it's a great experience out there best of both worlds The first time I've experienced that was actually in Austin, Texas.

I came down when I was a young lad for a golf camp. And I remember sitting there and being like, why am I down here? It's over 100 degrees. I don't like it here. That's a great question. And I sat at the driving range underneath the mister for most of the time at the golf camp. I just couldn't get my head in the game.

You weren't built for it, yeah. Shouts to Harvey Penick, though. Oh, he instructed you. Take dead aim. That's right. He had actually just passed, but it was still the Harvey Penick Golf Academy that I went to. And I stink now.

Dylan went to the Harvey Pen 15 Academy. Really? Yeah. What'd you guys learn there? I had a swing. i had nothing i was reaching for something funny but i snake dead aim per normal i had nothing hey we got some major announcements yeah that's right july 9th a week from this saturday we're going to houston texas it's meetup time kirby ice house the downtown location it's going to be, Texas. It's meetup time. Kirby Icehouse, the downtown location. It's going to be fun. Be there, be square. If you're going to plan on doing this, we don't have an exact time yet, but I would aim for right around after dinner time. It's going to be a

lituation. We're going to do an early dinner with the squad and then we're going to roll right into the meetup. And so, yeah, go there. We will be there. Houston, Texas, July 9th. Also, we have a new video out. We did a little half day M mugsy video where we took a boat out just got real wild with the boys there's some screenshots of these that we might regret later in life but pencils truly lit and also we're doing happy hour live tomorrow lunch seltzy edition hey you should enter the the meetup in that tiktok like that tiktok you did oh we'll do it we'll do one we'll do one for sure lunch what edition lunch seltzy seltzy yeah you hear about these seltzies yeah presented by busy heart seltzer yeah also patreon randy's game show went live yesterday not going to talk about who won

but yeah go check it out patreon.com slash rickling back podcast we're doing everything over there worst of dad pods game show and as always thursday voicemails that are supposed to drop on friday but they drop on thursdays 888-618-4422 again 888-618-4422 before we get into the meat of this show it's a loaded episode today let's hear from our friends over at everlane you know what there's copy on this screen in front of me right now but i'm just going to say something everything i'm wearing right now everything i'm wearing right now is everlane that white tee that you slandered earlier because it wasn't swag enough for you guess what dylan it's everlane it's crispy well it's crispy did not age well yep hey i'm wearing some denim right now guess what oh they're everlane my friend

yeah notice me oh look at you damn i'm out here i love the polos i was wondering why you look so scrumptious i own a lot of polos not to brag alissa specifically was like i really like that polo on you yeah i've been calling them forever lane because i ride with them it's my favorite food fighter song i can't stop wearing their shoes i know so you when you got the shoes i was like man like i want to see these things in person and once i saw them i completely bricked my order i should have gotten this they're off white like kind of a creamy color and they're so dope give me that they're comfortable as shit i should have ordered that the only thing creamy colors oh that's what i every time i put them on that's

what i say i love everlane they're committed doing the right thing from start to finish and that means partnering with responsible factories and ensuring every piece of clothing looks and feels great for years to come these things are great i mean they're just great products they're high quality i've been shopping with them for over 10 years now absolutely love everything i get from them and i've become even a bigger fan ever since they've become on board i might dip into their store at some point over the weekend and check out their other stuff. IRL. Brick and mortar? Oh, yeah. Right on South Congress, baby.

Right on South Congress. This is news to me. I will go with you. Is that facts? Let's roid. Everlane fans, let's roid. Did not know, man. Not you too. They research and audit factories and partners to find producers championing fair working conditions and reducing environmental impact.

These guys are just making the world a better place. The Everlane team has direct relationships with each factory and builds strong relationships with their team. And guess what? The best thing about this stuff is that it's trend proof. Even the stuff that I bought 10 years ago, I could wear that stuff today and it would still be relevant. These are just classics. I'm not going to call them basics because they're anything but. They're classics. Each garment's made from the finest materials like grade A cashmere, Italian leather, and certified organic cotton. Everlane strives to use the best materials with the least impact on the planet so they prioritize sourcing raw materials from transparent recycled organic and renewable

resources and they have true cost transparency because with everlane you get designer quality without the designer markup if you want to do things differently from your core to your closet shop everlane go to everlane.com slash steam and sign up for 10% off of your first order. That's 10% off your first order. You go to everlane.com slash steam and sign up. Everlane, helping people live their best lives with the least amount of impact on the planet. Did you almost fall off through your chair there? What happened?

No comment. Yeah. It's like the bottom dropped out. Yeah. During the ad read, I tried to sit up and my my left hand flew off this arm of the chair and i almost just took a spill you hitting switches over there dude it was almost a yard sale i almost lost my will mommy's badge yeah shout to the will mommies thank you crimson for the very nice care package you sent yo by the way your penmanship

fantastic goaded some of the best handwriting she's an artist i've ever seen well it's it's clear to see adam can i get the thumbnail right now what about me adam no give me the thumbnail adam dylan's been getting a lot of thumbnails i think adam likes dylan the most because every time adam produces dylan gets the thummy he's scared of dylan that's the problem yeah dylan's dylan always text if we saw the text history between adam and dylan it's like, you better give me that fucking thumbnail today. I do intimidate him quite a bit.

He's thumbnail chasing. Dylan, did you ever work at Medieval Times? Dinner and tournament. My least favorite era was Medieval. Everything about the aesthetic of the medieval times, it makes me... It grosses me out. The aesthetic. The aesthetic. Really? Okay. Why? Is it because they used to

throw their poo-poo and pee-pee out the window onto the streets? They're just gross, man. What did they do with their poo-poo and pee back in the day? I was wondering about that a long time ago. They didn't have landfills and stuff back then. They didn't have sewage, Dave. You wouldn't't get this but it was like living in flea bottom dawn flea bottom it's a bloody crime scene

uh in the way they talk my lord my lord more like my dork right no but really i don't i don't like it what happened with the medieval times, though? I kind of thought the medieval times were kind of sick, actually. And I'm not one for history. No. Just, you eat a turkey leg and watch a bunch of dorks out there play dress up and hit each other with foam swords. Dude, were the evil times just like way doper if they had to call these ones the medieval times? It's just like semi-mid evil my lord my lord what you don't want to do like the you don't want to go do the the spearing what's it called

what's happening in medieval times are they they unionizing? The knights are daggering. Really? They've gotten rid of jousting, and now it's just a daggering competition. Okay, I might sign up for that. I'd be fine with that. I've never been to medieval times. Have you guys been? I have.

I have no desire. I have all the desire. There's one in, like, South Dallas. Is there one in Houston? We're not going. That's not the question I asked. Is there medieval times in Houston? There has to be.

And I think they just bring you like a whole rotisserie chicken. It's fantastic. Like a goblet of beer. Dan would love that. Or excuse me, a goblet of ales. That's how we spoke. Oh, yes. I will take a chalice of your mead, please.

I will take a chalice of your meat, please. No, they've voted, their workers have voted or will vote on forming the company's first union. Unionizing. Why do they need a union at Medieval Times? Well, because first, it's a dinner and tournament. Second, it's dangerous. There's a great article on the HuffP and uh there's some really good lines but apparently like the working conditions are tough they have to deal with a lot um for example clanging the heavy dinnerware can spook the horses in the arena endangering the knights

as they joust for the queen's honor dylan it often falls to the queen herself a mic'd up actor on a throne above the pit or her chance chancellor lord cedric of course to gently admonish the overzealous crowd all while keeping in character uh their quote not mine please my lord don't bang the plates come on man okay i'm not trying to victim blame here when it comes to like the horses and stuff but maybe just don't have live animals around and trying to rile the crowd up with you know jousting they should completely pivot from medieval times and just do like ancient rome and like do gladiator style fights because a it's probably more fun b gladiator was objectively a good movie you want to hear how good the uh objectively objective i would say it's even subjectively

subject hey i'll give you both uh in a in i guess in 10th grade uh are you our world history class we decided to uh read a book about that that era And the book was Gladiator based on the movie. And then after that, we got to watch the movie in class. Based on a true story, for sure. I was like, are we really reading the Gladiator book that's based on the movie? Probably the historical accuracy was not quite up to snuff on that one.

Yeah, if you're in world history in the Harbor Springs school system, let me know if it's gotten better. It's the only class I've ever gotten lower than a B in. All that armor, too. You know it smelled crazy in there. Dude, crazy. I mean, I'd probably unionize, too, if we had to just put our poop and stuff in holes.

I don't think they're paid particularly well. I don't think the actors actually poop in holes, Will, at the medieval times restaurant. No, they're method actors. They're like that all the time. They just stay in it. What does it cost to get in a place like that? Yeah, what's the damage of Medieval Times? Take it.

Okay, so you get probably dinner served with it. Maybe your choice of ale, sir. Ale and turkey leg. Do you all get turkey legs? Or is it like... All they serve is turkey legs. No, you can get milk of the poppy, I think. If you're really looking to vibe isn't that like their version of heroin and game of thrones yes like really that's what it is yes poppy milk of why was everyone doing

heroin in game of thrones they weren't they were it was just it helps you sleep but if you do too many drops and was tannister was t Tanner Lannister slinging on the low? Yeah, that's how he lost his job. Yeah, he was pushing. He was pushing bricks. Damn. That's why he was never knighted. So is that what they were all arguing over?

Was it just the drug trade? Yeah. Yes. Was Jon Snow just a kingpin? They had this raven delivery system that would just deliver drugs all over the king's land. The original Birdman. What happened to that boy? Send a raven.

Those ravens, they just didn't miss. Quote him nevermore. If you mix children, alcohol, and animals, it can be a very interesting situation if you don't have enough eyes on it, explained another worker. Not having enough event staff, that puts a lot of people at risk.

The employee recounted a well-known incident during a rowdy saturday night show when a drunken woman in the crowd made her way up to the throne and tried to grab the microphone attached to the queen's face not cool requiring the queen the queen defend off the woman on her own a police officer was in the castle on duty the worker said but he was trying to keep watch on the entire crowd what if they just cut their lack security what just cut one person's head off when they act out in the castle on duty, the worker said, but he was trying to keep watch on the entire crowd. What if they just cut their... Lack security. Just cut one person's head off when they act out and no one else will do it after that.

That's the move. You know the last guillotine thing in France was in like the 70s? I mean, like... That's kind of sick. Is it? I mean, no. It's not, but like kind of.

Ooh, you have a... I i heard they were gonna make uh aren't they taking galane's head off yes town square no she'll she'll take her own head off i'm sure i'm sure yeah i'm sure it'll be her doing it too oh no no one else involved who could have done this who could have done this like the meme i i think the bigger issue here is just the business model of medieval times do people go there sincerely or is it all like a like novelty like let's go to middle of the top you're talking about larpers just yeah like are there people who are actually into that shit or is it just like a joke like let's go drink there's definitely that contingency watch these dumb ass people do their thing out

there so you're wondering if the larp faction of the world goes to medieval times and watches it like we would go watch like a golf tournament yeah like dude he's got dude no he's like the best larper or is it just like just people just chuckling up in the seats? Like, what are we watching out here? I want to go to one. Like a bachelor party rolls up in there. How is PETA not shut this down yet? Yeah, would this not change your mind, Dylan? What if I told you they have falconers with live falcons that buzz the crowd?

Okay. Does that interest you? I'm interested. Okay. You do love a bird of prey. Oh, my God. I really do.? I'm interested. Okay. You do love a bird of prey. Oh, my God. I really do. Falconers are dope, man.

Very skilled. You ever seen people in Mongolia hunt with them? They'll hunt foxes? No. I have. Really? I saw a video. You were in Mongolia?

No, I never went to Mongolia. Falcon's not big enough to take a fox down. Have you ever been to a Mongolian barbecue? I don't think it's a falcon i think it's like a larger bird pterodactyl no probably not probably not the extinct dinosaur yeah that'd be difficult maybe a condor or uh maybe the california condor eagles get pretty big man that's facts did y'all have mongolian barbecue back in the day tons mong Mongolian Grill. Shout out Tan's. Did you go up and you filled your bowl with everything? Then they'd bring it to the thing, make it for you?

And it felt very unsanitary because it would just be like, here's the raw chicken. Yeah. I'd be like, I didn't put mini corn in my bowl. Why is there mini corn in it now? It must have mixed with the other people. I got ostrich there one time. I never did any of that it tastes like chicken ostrich yeah they're both birds

hey will yeah i'm sorry that in the cave that one was i i didn't know what to do dude i've been having hella bats in the cave lately all right dog right, dog? Dude, shit happens, man. I'll be honest. So just to pull back the curtain here, I've been having a little bit of a nasal issue lately. I have a little,

I have like a cut inside of my nose that is creating some scabbing issues. And you've been doing too much cocaine again. No, I don't think it's the cocaine. Not you too. Yeah, Dylan got me addicted. The cocaine?

No, cocaine. Dylan got me, I'm just, I love it. I love this stuff. I didn't get you addicted to cocaine. I don't like this stuff. I just. Dylan got me. I'm just, I love it. I love the stuff. I don't like the stuff. I just like how it smells. Tfm. Yeah. Check out my Twitter account. I have an Archer character. Dude, I only drink single malt scotch. It's my thing. Yeah. Yeah. I like having a two martini lunch. Working at the famous dinner theater chain medieval times comes with some unique occupational

hazards for instance sometimes a guest who has emptied one too many goblets of booze starts banging the middle ages style plates and bowls together once you calm down out there steve get out if you get kicked out of medieval times've got to reevaluate a lot of things, right? That's a great story, though. That's rock bottom. If anyone out there has been kicked out of Medieval Times, please send your story to worstof at watchmedia.com. Again, that's worstof at watchmedia.com.

I feel like most people have only experienced Medieval Times through the cable guy. That's fair. Is that the most notable form of media that has gone to medieval times? It has to be. I just, I want to go to one. And it kind of bums me out that Dylan is so anti.

There is not one in Houston I found out. You don't have to go with me. There's one in Dallas though. So if we do a Dallas meetup anytime soon, I'm going to medieval times. We could just do the meetup there. I can't imagine it being fun. Like I can't.

I don't understand how you can't imagine it being fun. I think Parks might love it. And i think you would have fun too but then what if parks wants to get into like jousting yeah i probably won't let him it seems very dangerous papa papa fancy a joust they we're going to be late to school my lord lord. They use those big... What are the big... What are the jousting things on the horseback? What do they call those things? Jousts? The spears?

Sure. There's a name for them. They do some sword fighting and shit? There's sword fighting, correct. Yeah. Which is dope. I guess. Have you heard...

So it's really hard to set up... Because it has to be a pretty special space in order to accommodate what medieval times needs. You have to have a kitchen. You have to have the stable for the horses and stuff like that. And so when they have to move all that stuff in, they have to get these specialists that move the stuff. It's the college monks. College monks. Yeah, the monks went to college huh

okay he's not sure about that one I'll just leave it at this the workers have nothing to lose but their chain mail damn medieval workers unite have nothing to lose but their chain mail. Damn. Medieval workers unite.

Do we support the unionized? I support the people who work there, sure. I don't support the people who go there for fun. Because they're not getting paid. That's mean. I kind of like that. Would you rather go to one? Okay, if you had to watch it, would you rather go to one or sit at home and live stream it?

I don't know. I'd rather go to it. Just to like, you know, if I have to watch it. I don't know. I want to drink out of a... A chalice? A chalice or a goblet. Yeah, stop acting like this is like a bad thing.

What's the food, Will? All right. It's turkey. So it's a four-course meal. It's a four-course meal. Mashed potatoes and turkey. That's fit for royalty. Yeah, baby.

It says that Queen Maria Isabella welcomes you to dine with her in her royal court. Always generous, the host... Always a generous host, the queen has commanded her royal chefs to cook you her favorite meal just for you which is uh it is garlic bread tomato bisque soup roasted chicken sweet buttered corn and herb basted potatoes and of course vegan option milord a feast is incomplete without dessert you can satisfy your sweet tooth with a treat worthy of royalty served with hot coffee.

Ooh. Bing bong. Huh? Okay. Oh, bing bong, my lord. They said all of the guests can choose a non-alcoholic beverage of the castle

upon being seated, but they do offer rotating specials, specialty drinks, and large, overflowing steins to liven the scene even more. My lord, is there a gluten-free option? Is.

My divertic. Yeah. My celiacs is flaring up. Some milk of the poppy for my intestinal tract, my lord. This is stupid. It is. But shout out to them. Catch me not going still.

I didn't make your advance. Dude, the last time I went, I got called down to the jousting area. Really? What happened? It was cool. And I was like really excited to do it. But then I looked down afterwards and I was like, oh my God, all the dirt from this and all the horse poop got all over my shoes.

But luckily, I was wearing Rothy's. Wow. When it comes to shoes, they got to feel as good as they look. And Rothy's knits, their style, their comfort, every pair is just super soft. Perfectly cushioned sneakers. These things are comfortable straight out the box. You don't have to worry about blisters or anything. But the best part about these is that they're washable.

Yeah, I said washable. You can wash these things. They're washable. They even have one-of-a-kind driving loafers that come in classic colors and eye-catching patterns. They're just made for the modern man. You're a modern man, Dylan. Yeah. Not made for the medieval man.

The modern man. No, I'm not the medieval man. Everybody knows that. Pretty sure it's the modern man. I'm very modern. I mean, a lot of these people are just wowed by the sleek, upcycled shoes that look just as great as they feel. These things are all sustainably made, machine washable, and best of all, they're built to last. They are very comfortable.

I'm actually shocked that none of us are wearing Rothy's today. They're common in the office. Brett probably has them on. I wear them to the gym. Brett has them on all the time. If I'm doing deadlifts, I just wear them. They're very comfortable, and if I sweat in them,

I can just throw them in the washer. What's nice about these is that you can pretty much wear them anywhere. They're good-looking enough that you can wear them out to a restaurant and not feel like you're just wearing a random pair of like gym shoes but you can also just rock them to go run some errands and be mega comfortable being able to just wash these and have them come out like new to sign me up these things are just great they pair well with anything these should be a staple in any guy's wardrobe just make

it happen or the ladies out there too my mom's obsessed with them you know nance is booted up right now i i gave her my code to get some free ones one time because i was like you know what i got my rothys i'm gonna give my mom some and she went to the sales section i was like mom go go comp some regular price boys go off nance yeah she's wild find out what all the hype is about discover your new favorite pair of shoes and get 20 off your first purchase at rothys.com slash steam. That's r-o-t-h-y-s dot com slash steam for $20 off your first order.

Dylan, I drink your goblet. My lord? Isn't it like me, if you say me lord, that's a sign you're like a peasant but you should say my lord. I'm pretty peasant-y. It's just m apostrophe lord i think my lord my lady dude i bet you've never even tried that one before what i bet you've never even tried mead mead yeah i don't know what is it is that the stuff in chicago that's like everybody wants to do shots of but it's really gross no dude everyone knows

that's my lord dog oh fuck everyone knows that mead is a to do shots of, but it's really gross. No, dude, everyone knows that's Malort, dog. Oh, fuck. Everyone knows that mead is a fermented beverage made of honey, water, and yeast. Ooh. That sounds kind of dope. Yeah. Kind of like sangria a little bit.

Yeah, I heard Vizzy's dropping their mead pack soon. That's the last name of the first girl I ever had a crush on, by the way. Mead? Yeah. What? First girl I ever had a crush on by the way mead yeah what i knew first girl ever to crush on how do you how'd she spell that m-e-a-d i've never heard of a human being named that shots all the meads what's she up there's at least one out there have you reached out to her let me look you look like before you were married this was um mead smokers only this

is like kindergarten first grade stuff it's a very niche instagram account she might be married someone probably locked her down honestly yeah she's sweet as her hard to say also fermented that's not her anyway are you here about this linda skeens person yeah she's a bad bitch alert obviously because we're wearing our will mommy's uh you's tags right now. We like to see girl bosses win. That's what we do. We're girl bosses' number one fans. We cheer them on all the time. Linda Skeens is no different. I mean, actually, she is different.

Why did she get wronged in this tweet? What? Did you know that someone named Linda Skeens? That's not that crazy of a name. Yeah, it's just Linda. Come on. Yeah, well, it turns out that Linda Skeens entered the Virginia-Kentucky District Fair and just linda come on yeah well it turns out that linda skeens entered the virginia kentucky district fair and just absolutely dunked out the entire competition

she won almost every single she was like nah wait oh you think you think you're good no i got it this was this was a regular fair not like a renaissance festival so we can't continue with that joke series we could if we wanted to okay i'm gonna pretend it's a renaissance festival but you know they go you go to the fair and they have the contests like they have a bunch of different ones like you bring your produce and you get to win win prizes well over the best overall winners were just pretty much all linda skeens like some people are good at one thing linda skeens is good at every best overall canned vegetable yeah like everything's coming up Linda Skeen's these days. She got the overall best canned vegetable, best canned tomato, pickled cucumber, non-cucumber pickled item, which she did peppers.

She's bad. Oh, Skeen Skeen's got damn. Yeah. She hit them with the best relish overall. Did you see the baked good one? What's the baked good one? She won almost everything. Cakes, pies, cookies cookies she got first second and

third place i do have a question about the winner luella perry of best overall quilt and it says in parentheses her quilt was quote the crazy quilt yeah this quilt is crazy so someone uh also shared the the whoever tweeted that shared a screenshot of looks like some facebook comments and the top one is hilarious linda skeens ain't here to make friends just here to make history and she did well linda skeens also commented on the post announcing that she's different and she said thanks y'all and when you look at a picture of linda it looks like it looks like farming keeps her young i get the feeling that someone was trying to be funny he just created the linda skeens account that looks like a fake pic that

old bag of bones doesn't have the energy okay so there's another linda skeens who had to actually make a statement saying i am not the linda skeens that is goaded at fairs like i am not that person yeah there's another one out there who's just getting like all the praise and she had to man she had to shift it hopefully people aren't't looking into Linda's like Reddit history. Yeah. Are we about to see a world where Linda Skeens gets canceled after her performance at the Virginia-Kentucky District Fair? She went from best overall canned tomato to canceled. I mean, if Linda walks in the fair, like no one's guy is safe at that point.

No. No. Best overall relish. Chow Chow. What is Chow Chow? Don't know. I don't know. Bet it's great.

Bet this best overall jelly is fire. Robin Moore also showed up to put people in body bags, but she got body bags herself. She just showed up in the wrong era. Yeah. It's like Phil. Any other era, she's goaded. It kind of bums me out that out

of all the things that linda skeens does she apparently doesn't do salsa because you're telling me that there's a first place and second place salsa and she wasn't either of those she linda skeens even made candy she got first second and third place in the candy category why is she making corn relish and squash relish and she has canned tomatoes but she can't make a fire ass salsa can you imagine her home on Halloween? Like what she's handing out? What, do you think she's just giving out like produce? We got to talk to Brandon, I think.

No, I think Avi might be taking those too. She got three different, she got three different like medals for just savory bread alone and candy and cookies this is very this is very good wholesome content savory bread hey how long was she in the lab just making all this dude she's cooking she's got some time on her hands i mean from chow chow to corn relish to baked goods to. Actually, there's a screenshot of her social media. She actually went dark on social media like LeBron does when he's in the playoffs. She was like, all right. All right, y'all.

You won't hear from me for the next three weeks because I'm just out here harvesting. Hey, nobody bothered Linda for the next month. I'm busy. She's doing work. Glaring lack of specificity on candy. She got first, second, and third like you said, but it just says candy. You know Linda puts out some fire ass salt water taffy.

Candy can be anything. Or many things. Salt water taffy. That's a good old person candy. My salt water taffy. I got first place at the fair. My favorite flavor is salt water. Why is it called salt water, Taffy? It tickles my tongue.

Is that all? I don't know. There's probably more to it. Do you guys say salted caramel or salted caramel? Why do you say salted? Just say caramel. Well, it's different. It has salt on it.

Depends on if she's 5' doesn't have a brown eyes doesn't affect the way you see the second part of that what what do you okay do you see caramel or caramel dude i was eating this is a true story i was eating a caramel it'd be weird if you just told a lie about you uh sucker last night okay it was like leftover halloween's been in our house for a long time left over the one with like the green candy on it too yeah yeah and i swear that it got i was sitting and watching tv and it was just sitting in my mouth and i swear my it got stuck to my teeth and i almost pulled like these teeth out right yeah dylan that's why i don't okay well i panicked those will do that either way to you and doing eating that i don don't know, six months after the fact,

you're asking for your teeth to get ripped out. Plus, about 30 minutes prior, I had taken an early bird. And so when this happened and I got stuck, I started to panic. What if Dylan pulled up today with wooden teeth? It would be hilarious. I probably wouldn't have gotten wooden teeth right away. Well, I was like, Brittany, Brittany. I was like, I'm about to pull my teeth out.

I can't get this off of my teeth. It's completely stuck. i just had to jimmy it for the like five minutes and get it unstuck it was pretty scary next time you talk to britney about what she wants to change about you she's gonna be like stop getting stoned on the couch and getting suckers stuck to your teeth just a couple uh drops of milk of the poppy will take care of that for you just a heads up thank you yeah heroin fixes it all right it was a little scary man dude i'm still here with all my teeth do you think linda skeens grows that fire ass hydro in her backyard oh she's got the stickiest weed you pull up in her like her her closet and she's got like the lamps that whole setup that everybody's one friend in high school tried to do it failed yeah so he's trying to grow hydro in his closet

didn't work she was up there she's making that chronic man do you think she just sits in the back room of the fair just like drinking like dom just like yeah like watch everyone trial trophy season watch everyone trial of her dope shit she made she's like yeah that's right bitch you like that candy don't you yeah sit Yeah, sit down. First overall mead. How's that relish, bitch? Damn, did she make a fire ass mead too? Yeah, good for her. She sounds like the ultimate grandma, if I may.

Dude, I mean, she's goaded. She is. Someone said, imagine spending weeks perfecting the perfect cookie recipe for the fair only for linda skeens to win first second and third she brought at least three different cookies and they're all better than whoever would finish fourth and fourth place someone said gotta start calling her into skeens because she does not have any l's i love that somebody's gonna have to inform me what chow chow is, because apparently that's a thing, and I am unfamiliar with it. It looks torch.

It's a dessert. No. Right? It's not? No, you're thinking of something else. It's a type of relish. I mean, it's a dog. It's a type of relish?

It's a pickled relish. Pickled vegetables. Chow chow relish. Honestly, what's a dog. It's a type of relish. It's a pickled relish. Pickled vegetables. Chow Chow relish. Honestly, what's the origin? I bet my dad makes a fire ass Chow Chow relish. Probably good probiotics. Probably really good probiotics. Use the fermentation, Dylan.

Okay. Should we get Linda on the pod? I don't like that it's called. Let's give her a pod. I don't like that it's called Chow Chow. Why? The dumbass name. It's a little too dog foodie yeah that's what you're saying oh i also i don't like it when people refer to just regular human food as chow it can get your chow weird like what are you a lot of puppy it's very like uh early 80s movie yeah come get your chow yeah let's go get some

chow i'll just eat my sandwich just go get some food yeah i've never i've never thought that this the word chow owns no real estate in my head. Well, I've been thinking about it for a long time. Let's ciao down. I'm very bothered. Ciao. Like goodbye? I'm actually using Babbel, so I know what that means.

Have you gotten to Prego yet? No. You can say Prego for anything in Italy. That's big. No. Ciao. Really thought you were about to launch into a read for Babbel, but... No.

That would have been sick. No, I just enjoyed learning Italian. With my ragazzi. You're studying with a... A bunch of dudes. A bunch of dudes. We have a study club. We meet at my apartment pool we're just

talking italian to each other and drinking negronis if someone wants to send us some chow chow we will receive it and report back i'm gonna pass on it okay i bet one of the will mummies makes a fire ass chow chow if there's not chow chow at camp will mummies this year something's wrong you show up to the meetup with some pickled relish it's going down how about we just get linda camp willmommies this year? Yeah. She could be the house chef. Like the house mom.

Is she the ultimate Wilmommy? I don't want... I want Linda to let loose and have fun. I don't want her to be in the kitchen the whole time. Yeah. It stresses me out

imagining like the Wilmommies doing body shots off Linda. That's Akita. Yeah. That's my Akita. Yeah. Cooking for strangers. body shots yeah five nights a week hey macy macy can you help me with this instagram caption i'm trying to go viral is it fire

oh and the skeins dude you know what the squad's gonna be doing this weekend whole squad not talking about us necessarily i'm talking about just the general human race squad what they're gonna be grilling in the backyard baby that's right fourth of july weekend are you kidding me you better get that lawn right you have to you don't want those chemicals in there you want grass you just want the grass machine to be spraying those pure chemicals all over you there's a uh a fourth of july parade through my neighborhood and then you go right by right by the crib yeah a lot of eyes on the lawn this weekend really a lot of eyes oh man when i'm on dylan's lawn it feels like

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and you can get 20% off when you visit getsunday.com slash steam at checkout. That's 20% off your custom plan at getsunday.com slash steam. PSA time. It's a public service announcement. Y'all got to stop trying bison. Or other large animals, too, for that matter. Right. Especially bison.

Especially bison. Yeah, someone got gored again last time i guess they got tossed right dude i bet linda skeens makes some fire ass gourd also maybe some bison probably you think she dabbles in bison she makes bison burgers it's a high quality protein dude is you give her the ingredients and she'll she'll make magic imagine you go to yellowstone yellowstone is a bucket list for a lot of people great show It's a high quality protein. Dude, it is. You give her the ingredients and she'll make magic. Imagine you go to Yellowstone. Yellowstone is a bucket list for a lot of people. Great show.

Very true. Never watched it. It's actually not that good. It's kind of overrated. They cut their helicopter budget after season one. Bullshit. But you go there. How is that possible? They did, whatever.

You go there and you're like, you know what? This isn't enough. I got to get out of the vehicle. We got to walk up to that 2,000 pound animal over there. See that bison, the thing with the horns? We got to walk right up to that fucker. I learned the hard way to respect large animals. Remember, I almost got trampled.

I got run down that time by horses, Dave. Yeah. Oh, when your family horses turned on you? They turned on you. What'd you do? That's the question. You did something to deserve it. They tried to clobber my brains out

Stomp me out Our hooves They tried to put their hooves on my dome It was terrifying Put the hooves on you? Chopping you up? Right Get a horseshoe to the face

Man, I watched this video not long ago It was these two horses They put them in a pen to mate oh yeah and one of the the female horse got got really excited and kicked oh no the male horse right between the eyes and it dropped dead instantly it was a wild ass video don't stand behind horses don't get kicked by a horse damn just drop dead all's fair in love and war lights out what what just don't go up to the the bison right just don't do it that's what we're trying to tell you like don't go up to the bison i know the gram's gonna be fire this dude had his kid with him yeah and the kid was like the size of parks basically it was a tiny little kid

yeah and the kid was like the size of parks basically it was a tiny little kid had no business being by an animal that large yeah but the guy didn't die okay and he got a chunk out of his arm from this bison okay like that kid's going to school after the summer and they're gonna be like oh everyone go around the class and introduce yourself and say what you did this summer and he was like yeah i saw my dad fight a bison i'm the bison kid that's kind of that's kind of sick me and everyone's like oh your dad fight a bison. I'm the bison kid. That's kind of sick. And me. And everyone's like, oh, your dad's a dumbass for taking you around that bison. Because it's a bison.

I get that they have an impressive resume. Bison? Yeah. Yeah. But it's just not necessary. Mascot of North Dakota State?ota state invented the internet where did um vice president where did carson wins go arguably won the 2000 election where did carson wins go college north dakota state i think so the bison the bison i'm doing mascots now i'm sorry no i'm

curious now if i got that right I'm very proud of myself. I just said it too. I just said North Dakota State. Do you guys know what the difference between a bison and a buffalo is? Of course. North Dakota State. Of course. Because I was going to say, like the Colorado Buffs logo looks just like a bison, but it's a buffalo.

Dave, are they the bison? North Dakota State. I closed out of the window. You were just there. I think so. Geez. Will, give us the bison? North Dakota State. I closed out of the window. You were just there. I think so. Jeez, dude. Will, give us the fun fact. Bison have large humps at their shoulders

and bigger heads than buffalo. They also have beards. Will my Loki a bison? Don't give yourself too much. As well as thick coats, which they shed in the spring and early summer. I kind of do that too. I always up my peli game a little bit

before spring and summer. Shed my winter LBs with my beard. My broad-ass shoulders. Your beard came back dick again man dude i think my i can't believe i'm saying this i think my beard came back thicker like it's more formidable right now i did a deep trim a couple weeks ago and i'm back and better than ever baby is this an ad read no okay there's an artist i follow on instagram and i want to get like his his bison painting but i'm like i've never even seen a bison they're not native to where i live um so i feel like it would be weird to have it but i might get it anyway dave someone turned the

um as it's the only way i eat my fajitas girl that picture into an oil print painting sort of thing and i want to i just want to buy it for you and send it to frame bridge and have it. Let's get it. Let's get it for the studio. I think it'd be a cool something for you to have. Do you think that is your moment? You love that moment. It was my favorite night on Twitter.

Cause we were, everybody was just sitting home. It was early. It was still mid early pandemic. And it was just like, Oh, what's going on with timeline? Oh,

a lot. Turns out. Yeah. He Taiwan? Oh. A lot, turns out. Yeah. He had a podcast. He was so put out. And he did have a podcast. He deleted it. I looked for it recently. He deleted his podcast?

I tried to find it, yeah. He tried to just shut it down. Yeah, he's like, you know what? Let's call it. He shut off the anchor ads. Yeah, that's too bad. Yeah, just leave them alone. It's weird to me when you see videos of people going through safari in the United States,

in their cars, and like, oh, there's a lion or whatever. And I feel like a lot of them, they really, really wanted to get in the car and get you. They could. Like, oh, a bear. I'm in a car, I feel like a lot of them, they really, really wanted to get in the car and get you. They could. Like, oh, a bear. I'm in a car, but there's a bear. That bear really, really wanted to. You got to keep your doors locked. Yeah, but a bear could rip the door off, if I'm not mistaken.

Couldn't they? I don't know, man. Probably. Like, it always freaks me out. Like, you know how when people go to, like, Africa and they go on the safaris and stuff and they get all close to the animals? I'm like, that's legit and stuff and they get all close to the animals? It's legit and stuff, but how long until one of my boys just gets swiped? You've seen the one where the cheetah will jump up into it with people.

Yeah, that's kind of sick. You're just kind of like, this is great, but... Then again, if it came down to a combat with a cheetah, I feel pretty comfortable about my chances. I don't want you to die at the hands of a cheetah, but at the same time, I want you to be proven wrong. You want it to humble me. It would be good for the podcast. If a cheetah got me. It would be good for the podcast if it brought you to the brink of death

and then we had to record without you for a few weeks and then you came back. They're not built to go to the mat. They're just not. No. And you are. And you are? More so than a cheetah. Who wins against? How many cheetah who who wins against

how many cheetahs would it take to bring down aj ferrari 17 that's no i'll give you two you think aj ferrari david are you serious isn't he like five eight it doesn't matter yeah but he's been working on yoga and stuff you know all right i'm not saying i look i love a short top you seen him with the shirt but he's been working on yoga and stuff, you know? All right. I'm not saying... Have you seen him pop top? Have you seen him with his shirt off? He's yoked. He looks different than I do.

He should have been in our video, but he wasn't. Anyway. We should have invited him to do the Muggsy video. Do you know what AJ Ferrari's at is on Twitter? Let's invite him to be a guest on the pod. His at is Mr. Fast Twitch. That's sick. He's a fast Twitch athlete pod. His ad is Mr. Fast Twitch. That's sick. He's a fast Twitch athlete.

He doesn't have a very big following. I guess he's not very active on Twitter. I mean, his Twitter is absurd. How's he doing on the ground, though? He tweets in all caps. That's a good look. Sometimes. Mr. Fast Twitch on Instagram.

Let me guess. I'm going to say 85, 85 000 followers what's your guess i was gonna go lower i was gonna say like 65 dave is again once again very weirdly good at this game at 82.5 okay it's almost like dave works in media i think dave's one of his followers and that's how he knows i'm not actually i i had a hunch that we might talk Ferrari today though. If we pulled up your phone right now and we went to AJ Ferrari's profile. Swear to God. And then we went to the message function from your profile.

Have you messaged AJ Ferrari? No, I don't. I've got a rule. I don't really message DM college kids. What's the worst? What's the most egregious unanswered DM that you've ever had? Most egregious unanswered? Yeah. What ever had? Most egregious unanswered? Yeah, what was like the biggest Hail Mary that just clearly wasn't going to happen?

Nick Swartzen. Oh. During South by when I saw you, I was like, hey, man, we do a podcast, man. We'd love to have you on. Or if not, man, I think I even said I'd love to buy you a beer. And I was like, God, that's so lame. When Dylan was single, JoJo was in town from The Bachelor. She was in town for a bachelorette party.

Uh-huh. And I DM'd her being like, yo, should we link? My boy's trying to mob tonight. Did this really happen? Yeah. Yeah, she didn't respond. Joelle Fletcher. Yeah.

It didn't happen. I swear to God it happened. I don't remember this. I know exactly where I was walking when I was like, dude, I'm DMing her and seeing if she wants to hang so we can hook her up with dylan i think i probably deleted it out of shame the next day and out of fear of my wife no offense i'm glad you didn't but i just to be clear i wasn't trying to hook up with jojo i was trying to hook dylan up with jojo that's my that's my dog right there that's very nice of you i'm different uh i messaged you see it i messaged katie musgraves one time but katie musgraves or is that

her sister did i say katie i don't know casey i think i said casey uh she didn't respond to me what was your dm to her we have connects with both of these of these ladies by the way jojo went to baylor i thought i messaged kindle jenner too but i looked and there's no there's no post history don't have a connect i did i did uh dm uh uh kylie when she became a billionaire. I just said, ha-ha, what's good? She didn't respond. You dropped this, queen. That's what I sent to Casey Musgrave.

You dropped this, queen. You dropped this. And then my captioner says, here you go, queen. Was this post her divorce? Yeah, and she didn't respond. I heard she was just singing about you the entire new album. She probably just didn't see it, honestly. Yeah.

I'm going to like double tap it. Respond right now and say bump. I just double tapped it so maybe she'll get to know me. Say, hey, I want to put this at the top of your inbox. She'd never tell you how to dress. Yeah. She'd be like, keep dressing like shit. Yeah, what the hell? She likes getting high.

Does she? She'd be okay with you getting suckers stuck to your teeth late night. She's very talented. You need to be careful with those suckers, dude. I threw it away. I was like, you know what? I'm out of the sucker game now. I'm out the game.

It would be so funny if Dylan had to walk in with no teeth today, though. What was Dylan's candy? He got that Linda Skeen's drip. Charleston Chew. The Charleston Chew. They're so good, dog. Stick to the Charleston Chews. Go with what you know, man just leave the buffalo those caramel suckers man they're dangerous so you're a caramel guy

it's pretty hoity-toity of you i'm not a big not big time but like i'll fuck with it so you if what do you call it when you dip the apple in around halloween a caramel apple what are you talking about yeah right call i just want to see how you said it caramel okay you don't have to have other words along with it to see how you pronounce the word caramel no i think i think i think you need to hear it i think the juxtaposition of the words jesus christ uh is it changes how you say it i say caramel how do you say salt salted caramel caramel salted caramel how does dave say it salted caramel i think i say caramel how do you say salt salted caramel caramel salted caramel how does dave say it salted caramel i think i say caramel caramel i think i say caramel in some

scenarios and caramel i can just don't really say because i don't really f with i can promise you that i never say it with confidence i was like caramel like like rural yeah rural remember when you invited me over for your halloween party but nobody was there and you just wanted to bob for apples i don't remember that dude in sixth grade this kid we called him ganja back in the day he had he had a bobbing for apples contest on the last day of school and a really gross film started forming i Ew. I never recovered from it. I haven't bought frapples since. That's nasty.

It was stanky. Didn't like it. Hairspray. Shout out to Ganja, though. Sick party. That's when Eminem's first album just came out. We were like, are the parents going to let us play this at the party? Are we going to get in trouble?

Probably. Had they listened. Yeah. Yeah. Yellowstone says visitors should stay more than 25 yards away from all large animals including bison elk and moose and at least 100 yards away from bears and wolves 25 yards doesn't seem like enough no i was just gonna say a moose can dylan could punt a donut hole from that distance to the bison yeah think about that like you've seen them

we've all seen the moose i feel like it's referenced on here often, just chugging along through the snow. Absolutely, chopping through the snow. Just imagine perfect conditions moose, and it gives you a 25-yard head start. Are moose faster than sprinters? Yes. Okay.

So you're saying Bolt wouldn't be able to beat a moose how fast are moose how many kilometers per hour i think it's actually you would say in that scenario mice moosey i think it's mice moose's uh wow 35 miles per hour maximum this is an adult moose. Humans don't get that fast, Dave. I think what about Mr. Fast? It tops out at like 23 and a half, 24. Those moose take the top off the defense.

I'm about to get the Mr. Fast bitch handle. It's just the AJ Ferrari parody account. Okay. It's just the a.j ferrari parody account okay it's just me shirtless like i love you a.j i don't think it's gonna do we're getting a.j ferrari we're getting him on too much debt now he's part of our guest initiative he's gonna be let's put him on the board will yeah make sure make sure randy doesn't do it now that we have a dope studio we're gonna get more guests in so if any backers out there have any connections to dope guests just dm us yeah if anybody can get us linda let us know yeah if you if you ever connect to linda skeens she's not responding to my facebook message probably because she forgot her password who with the skeens or she's

still in dark mode no she's in beast mode yeah this was just a setup for the next fair she's going state to state just taking names she's actually doing a set at lilith fair really she's gonna run train did you ever go to the country no i wish i would have i feel like i could see a scenario where you went to lilith fair dude i i can't believe i'm saying this i've said this before in the pod but dave portnoy of barstool sports on his spotify He has a really good Lilifare playlist. Check it out. Is Haim on there? He made it.

No, Haim's not Lilifare. No, Haim's too young for Lilifare. You got to have your Sarah McLachlan's, your Natalie Imbruglia's, your Indigo Girls. You know what I'm talking about. Melissa Etheridge. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay.

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To find Vizzy near you, go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. And for updates on the latest flavor drops and more, sign up at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribe. Must be 21 or older. Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend thanks for asking will um i'm gonna kick my weekend off on friday by getting a haircut pretty excited for that one cool yeah i don't have a ton going on so i mean uh so parks's mother is in alaska she's out of town vacay and so i'm gonna have the little guy all weekend not that i can't have fun with the little guy but it kind of changes my plans a little bit. I'll have him Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then on the 4th, which is Monday.

That's right. It is Monday, right? Correct. Yeah. Don't come to work. I will not be at work. And that is when he will go back to his mom. So I'm going to have a date up.

I don't know. Like I said, there's that parade that goes by my house. I might just post up in a lawn chair. There's a parade on the 4th of July that goes by your house? I said that earlier. Yeah. I missed that. I wasn that i wasn't listening we were doing the sunday lawn reading i was like i got in my lawn my lawn looking sharp oh yeah i forgot about that i was in the zone if you want to you want to swing through with some vizzies and just maybe post up with me and watch uh when is the parade yeah parades feel like they go through early not you have my attention you have my attention i like i think i want to say 10 a.m but i could be wrong all right i need to go buy some headphones for a little fritz man but i'm coming over yeah it

could it could be an absolute scene i'm gonna come over and i'm gonna i'm gonna drink beers on your lawn okay that sounds great are you okay with that lawn beers absolutely i am i don't really have anything going on i want to do matt's el rancho at some point this weekend based on the fact that i don't have much to do this weekend dylan i'm pretty sure that like matt's is going to be my home base we do matt's friday uh dave dave david maybe yes maybe okay okay pitch it to your wives kids can come i don't care maybe not maybe you maybe like the oasis song i I was just going to say that. You had to listen to Patriot, man. Yeah.

Only true patrons get that. Only true patrons understand that. Take a now. And yeah, I don't really have much, guys. So there it is. What's that boy getting into? Friday I'm playing golf. He'll be there.

Mm-hmmhm our friend Ryan will be hosting us again as he often does shout out to him Brett will be there Dylan sad you can't play I'm sad too

he only passed it up to get his ears lowered especially what are you gonna get what kind of haircut you gonna get you should get USA in the back of your head

I'm gonna get the Tim Tebow where it has the line that kind of cuts across the forehead and then it's like shaved on one side of it you know what i'm talking about the super douchey one we'll do that you should get the south dallas fade remind me what that is i'll show you a photo okay we'll talk okay saturday i'm headed to

uh the houston area north side very north suburbs where we go every summer for my wife her uncle has a party and uh we'll just look at aj ferrari pic i was trying to get some haircut inspo since i'm getting my haircut today we'll be up there be a good time and then we're gonna turn right back around friday and go to houston again how many pencil dives are you doing? Ooh. They don't have a diving board, but they do have the rock waterfall. Oh, that's class. Oh, yeah.

Probably going to do some pencils. Probably not. I'll probably be on kid duty doing dad stuff. Yeah, just stressing out the entire time. Exactly. No one's watching roads and he's just crawling around. We'll have zero fun. Yeah. But I's watching roads and he's just crawling around. I will have zero fun. Yeah. But I will be vibing.

It'll be good. And then, yeah, we'll be back Monday, probably in the morning. So depending on what time the parade rolls through, I may show up, pop top, have some lawn beers. What about you? You know, your boy's got that Friday tea tea time making that long weekend a little bit longer probably gonna go low i got a new uh i got a new putter cover that i'm gonna reveal the boys are gonna go absolutely bonkers for it can't wait shots of seamus golf also have a new golf towel

catch me just wiping my irons on that thing non-stop wow non-stop that's exciting yeah i was gonna get really excited about the uh the Uncrustables, but that comfort station might still be under construction. But I'm going to get my favorite taco in town, the brisket taco. A little cilantro on there. A little salsa. You know I'm going to get full as hell on that course. Since it's Friday, I might even have a ranch water or six.

Calm down. Catch me Ubering home. My wife's going to yell at me while i sit on the couch you need to change will dress like a piece of shit uh and then yeah i got a wide open weekend i'm probably going to matzah rancho uh i'm probably going to go again to matzah rancho at some point during the weekend and then uh yeah fourth of july kind of a dream scenario for the fourth of july for me you know it's all about like you know just getting out there and

enjoying your freedom uh and for me uh my wife is going to be working from one to seven on the fourth of july which means i'm going to be chilling at home but i am going to go to dylan's house to watch the parade i think mark my words i'm going to bring over some busy hard seltzer and we're going to do that uh Get some mimosas. Okay. Mimosa vizzies, I'm saying. Yeah. Totes offs, dude.

But yeah, I might even do a little... I might sneak to the pool. Really? On the 4th of July if you want to join me. Okay. Good people watching at the boat launch. So come holler. If I'm not at Minions Rise of Gru, I will definitely swing by. Dude, the boys are going

to be mobbing at Minions Rise of Gru. Are we the Gru man group? Yes. Stop. We are. Dude, that's good. That has legs.

That doesn't. Why? It's all right. Do you even like Minions? Dude, they're so funny yeah what big minion guy everybody can you do an impression of a minion hey a minion i don't think that's how they say corn nuts i can't do a minion impression you try one i don't are they the high-pitched little guys

yeah but they they kind of they don't actually say words they just kind of say no sounds that sound like words no so they someone told me i feel like a bomb told me this did you tell me a fun fact about the minions i think someone told me that they actually record actual words but then they distort it so it's it's all high-pitched really weird so they're actually they actually have dialogue but you don't know what it is that's funny i hope that's so it's all high-pitched and weird. They actually have dialogue, but you don't know what it is. That's funny. I hope that's true. It's probably not. I'm probably just lying. They're cute as fuck. I can't wait to see Gru

rise. Yeah. Been waiting for it. Hey, I'm Gru. I'd love to see a Gru boss winning. Garnets. I'm Gru. I'd love to see a Gru boss winning. Garnets. I'm Gru. Da-ba-dee-da-ba-dye.

You could probably end it. Yeah, yeah. We're reaching, though. We got some AJ Ferrari content to go look up. I'm about to blow up AJ Ferrari's DMs. Hey, my boy is single remember we did that for you with jojo which i don't remember at all are you sure you did that yes i was walking on sixth street and we were on the opposite side of little woodrose and i remember walking and being like yeah she's definitely on sixth street

right now we're gonna hook dylan up with JoJo Fletcher. Walking on 6th Street. He's doing like the walking in Memphis. Put on my Rothy shoes. Put on my blue suede Rothy's and I got in my Uber. Put on Dylan's hiraches. Touch down

that little wood rose and ordered a bucket of the beers. Didn't you get Haraches? I've never gotten so many compliments on shoes in my life. They're bone colored for the record. No one's wearing Nike Haraches anymore, dude. Those are chewy as fuck.

They're little loafers, dog. Dicks out for Harache. You don't know anything, man. No offense. Isn't Dylan's movie coming out this weekend? Oh, which one is that? Minions, The Rise of Chug? You are a chuggy motherfucker. We gotta go. All right, bye. isn't isn't dylan's movie coming out this weekend oh which one is that minions the rise of choog or choogy motherfucker we gotta go all right bye we gotta go say bye then bye you