Circling Back - Millennial Pandering & Lawn Maintenance

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

Both Joe Biden and Paul Rudd are pandering harder than ever before, a sports minute that includes celebrity d-pic chat, a lawn-centric Steam Room, This Weekend in Fun, and Small Business September. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:46) Joe Biden's “Despacito” (24:02) Millennial Paul Rudd (33:30) Little Dips Sports Minute (57:30) The Steam Room: Lawn Edition (1:01:04) This Weekend in Fun presented by Vizzy Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (free refill pack!) Vizzy: To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to www.vizzyhardseltzer.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will to freeze am i right dave ruff good morning will welcome back yes my first uh first big boy episode i've've been out. But yeah, thank you for having me back. Wasn't sure how that was going to go. I was going to lose my position. Get Wally pipped, if you will. Baseball reference.

There's always a seat for you at this table, Dave. Thank you. Don't worry about that. Well, I appreciate that. Literally, because there's four spots. You can just kind of have one. If we needed to add a fifth, do we have the bandwidth? Or can our roadcaster not handle a fifth?

I don't know how to answer that, but I don't think we have to worry about it. Five's a lot. That's a lot of mics. Oh, I just hired Scott Van Pelt. Oh, really? That's actually what I was doing. He can just have my microphone. I think everyone will be behind that.

Correct. Yeah, correct. You don't have to agree with me. I'm just speaking. I'm just thinking out loud here. No, you're just speaking what I'm thinking. Okay. I just hired Kendrick, correct. You don't have to agree with me. I'm just speaking. I'm just thinking out loud here. No, you're just speaking what I'm thinking. Okay. I just hired Kendrick Perkins.

Really? That'd be fine with me. Two hires. I just did it. What does our budget look like now? Because I feel like you just depleted every cent and then a lot more. We are not flush with cash. Okay.

Equity? Our buddies gave us a line of credit. Yeah. Do I own any part of this company anymore, or did you give it all to them? Your shares have been diluted significantly. You, Eduardo, what is his name? Also, Brett, you no longer work here. What's the Facebook guy's name?

We have the severance. We'll talk about it off the... Okay. That's fine. Just a couple months at least. Yeah. No, we'll take care of you. Next time, break this news to us off mic.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hijack it. Seems a little insensitive. I don't think you have any room to talk, Mr. Masters. Man, I got content out of that. Shut up. You hate it, but you respected it. Now if we ever want to go back and listen to that interaction, we can because we recorded it live.

I probably wouldn't have cared as much if I didn't get Masters cucked twice in two years. Yeah, look, I didn't foresee the grudge that you guys held against me for that one. I think I had an extra grudge just solely because of, yeah, when Sally's pretty much entire family went to the Masters, and I just sat back at the dinner and didn't get a ticket. I was just being a straight hater. You know if I had any say in the matter, you guys would have been with me. You know that.

Well, it wasn't a grudge towards you personally. I didn't dislike you as a person. You hated my delivery. No, I just was – I don't get happy for people when they have cool opportunities because of themselves. I think to myself, why didn't I get that opportunity? I want to do that. And if your team wins the big game, I'm not happy for you.

You know what? I don't care. I hope you lose from here on out. I don't care how good of friends we are. I get sports jealous. You're about to really hate me. I get sports jealous. By the way, Islanders making a series of it.

Just saying. How about those Nuggets, though? Dude, chill. We got a sportsman coming up We got little dips coming later That's all I had to say What the fuck is your problem today We're having minor dips

No one saw that coming Is all I'm saying I'm just saying That you've had this thing today And it's just You wanna You wanna crawl across that table And see what happens

I'm gonna crab walk across it And just Hit you with a kick I'm gonna sea walk across it And meet you halfway Gross What is that shirt you're wearing Why did Why did Kanye tweet Come on tonight Oh cool Are you high hit you with a kick to the face. I'm going to see you off across it and meet you halfway. Gross. What is that shirt you're wearing?

Why did Kanye tweet come on last night? Oh, cool. Are you high? No, I've never seen that on you. I haven't either. Stella 20 will get you 20% off. New code. New code alert. Yeah, it's athletic to you, dog.

It looks good. Of course it looks good. Are you kidding? Well, the shorts don't. Well, they're not real bad. That's fair. They need to make some shorts. They are non-spawn shorts.

I like these shorts, man. I'm not going to tell them how to run their business, but I would like some shorts. I'm telling you how to run your business. What's up, Brett? Hey, guys. Hey, special shout out to them. They sent me, you guys didn't get one yet, but they sent me and the homie dinosaur shirts. The dino.

Oh, cool. I guess Will and I, Brett, didn't get one yet, but they sent me and the homie dinosaur shirts. The dino. Oh, cool. I guess Will and I, Brett, don't like dinosaurs. They match. We have matching polo shirts, and they sent us matching dinosaur masks. How tight is that? I just, no offense. That's a waste. I didn't know they made a shirt that small.

I didn't either. That's why I didn't even ask for it. It's a 5T, which means a five-toddler, five-year-old. I feel like Dylan's just got like a stack of Robacks at his house that he's just like kicking off of all the time. Well, you have a liquid IV out the ass. Yeah. I mean, I have the most liquid IV.

At the ass? But I'm double sponsored. Like, I got them Scaries and Circling Back. So I think I get double the amount that everyone else gets sent. That makes sense. I always share the love with Roback stuff. But they sent that specifically. I asked them for it.

Yeah, but you cherry-pick the good stuff before you bring it into the studio and throw it on the table. I've done that a couple of times. That's true. Sometimes you come in wearing a shirt, and I'm like, where'd that shirt come from, dawg? I can't help it, man.

They dropped a bag, and I get too excited. I'm sorry. Dillon, that's funny they sent you a mask since you are on record saying that you don't wear a mask anymore. I'm not on record. You're always like, dude, I haven't worn a mask this whole time. I'm pro-mask.

Everyone knows that. Only there's a PSA from like a celeb. Let's talk programming notes real quick. You guys ready for this? Uh-huh. Yeah, we're in the 10K Club on Circling Back. Not to brag, but people are swiping up left and right. So that hit mid-episode.

So many swaps. Mid-dip, right? Yeah, it was a dip situation. It was a dip? Yeah. It's just big. I hit the double bang button when I announced it. That's how big it was.

Good for you. I used your board. It's not my board. It's our board. Okay. Surf board. So yeah, swap up. Can't our board. Okay. Surf board. So, yeah, Swap Up. Can't wait to Swap Up.

Swap Up. Go leave a review and five-star rating. We got hella reviews. We might read some later if we got time. We'll see. Have we put any, like, Swipe Up, like, to merch yet? Have we tried that? No.

You trying to Swap on the merch? I you're trying to swap on the merch i'm not trying to i'm not trying to over swipe early oh what if we what if eventually we promote it on instagram and like a swipe up shirt and you swipe up to to swipe a shirt i think imagine we could probably text i've gotten in the last two weeks, what's a swipe? Really? Two. One from my sister, one from someone else. To clarify, it is a meal swipe, like a dining hall meal swipe situation. Which, I mean, so do you still have, like, your dining card? I just use someone else's.

Whose? Don't worry about it. Are you still going to Jones? Yeah. Oh, man. What's the UT dorm, Jester? That's the only one I know. Jester is a big one, yeah.

What's, like, the coolest UT dorm? I don't know. I don't know much about that situation down there. I seriously don't. Holding back. Do you think, like, Sam Ellinger goes to the dining hall? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Well, as Yeah Well, he's older now He's like a super senior, isn't he?

He's like 30 Athletes go to dining halls Yeah, but if you're Sam Are you going to the dining hall? Dude, Jameis He's going to Bob's Steak and Chop He would eat there for free every single time He went there if he wanted to

Your swipes are no good here, sir. No, that's against – that's an NCAA violation. Bob's doesn't care, dude. Getting a free meal. Bob's is so – they locked that place up. He's been getting free meals at Bob's since he was at Westlake. Yeah. Yeah.

Is he a Westlake guy? Yeah. Okay. Dude, no. Come on. I don't know. Jameis' senior year when he stood up in the dining hall and yelled, F-er right in the P.

Mm-hmm. I mean, he was in a dining hall. Yeah, they're regular college students. Jameis was like the guy on campus. He didn't have to schwap. He didn't have to schwap. No, they let him in free. Not you, sir.

No schwaps for you. Also, make sure to go to Patreon, patreon.com slash tricklingbackpodcast. We've been having a run of worst-off episodes, but I think spooky season's upon us. Spooky at washmedia.com if circlingbackpodcast. We've been having a run of worst of episodes, but I think spooky season is upon us. Spooky at washmedia.com if you've got a spooky story. Maybe a cryptic tale

of sorts. Cryptozoology, all welcome. Man, I can't wait for the spookiness. You know what tonight is? What? It's meme night

on Happy Hour Live. All the memes. Great memes so far. If you've got some memes, send them Brett's way. These were memes centric to circling back. These aren't just general memes. I so far if you've got some memes send them Brett's way these were memes centric to circling back these aren't just general memes

I mean if you want if you have a funny meme that you think Brett would enjoy I'm sure he would like to see that too but we're mainly today we're talking just circling back memes

maybe watch media memes how do we verify that these are the people that created them there's no process currently we're just gonna they have to watermark their work.

But Ricky does. Shouts to Ricky for today's meme, which will be making an appearance tonight. Of course it will. Also, Twitch. Twitch.tv slash Wash Media every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday around 1215. Tomorrow it's throwback Thursday. We're doing GoldenEye, maybe a little Fall Guys after, even though it's not a throwback.

But we'll be doing multiplayer GoldenEye. Are we for sure doing that? Because I'm really excited for that. Yeah, I'm going to smoke you. We need to run some practice games. Yeah. I'm not worried about it. You give me the proximity mines, it's over. You're done.

I might just play Tony Hawk instead. That was the original. Goldeneye? Shoot-em-up game, yeah. Goldeneye was the GOAT for a long time. You ever played Perfect Dark? No. Perfect Dark was like Goldeneye, but a little newer, and it was the first game that I ever saw where you could use your face as one of the characters,

but I could never figure out how to do it. It was tight, though. They essentially just took Goldeneye and just made it a woman. Okay. Not going to lie, she was pretty hot. Of course. Dude, I can't wait to catch you when I got that Moonraker. I'm just going to laser you to death.

I might just GoldenGun your ass with one shot. One shot, kill, boom, you're dead. You don't know. You guys are too, like, in the game now. Like, you guys are going to overthink everything, or I'm just going to go out there and shoot. Honestly, we play Warzone so much, which is also a shooter game, that it might serve as a disadvantage for us that we play the more modern version.

When Parks hopped on the sticks a few weeks ago playing Warzone, someone said, homie, let the choppa sing. I thought that was pretty funny. It's stuck with me since then. Choppa. Why didn't you let him play yesterday, dude? We had to go, man. All he wanted to do was play.

We had to go. I don't know if that's good Twitch material, Twitch content. I don't know. Because he just gets smoked, and then he gets upset. He's not good. Tell him to get better. Look, he's probably going to be really good eventually, but he's just not there yet. Before we really get into it, can we talk about Liquid IV real quick?

They already got an early shot on today's pod because you know I keep those things on me constantly. Had one yesterday, actually. Felt very hydrated after. Felt great. You probably already know what Liquid IV is. It's the most popular hydration drink mix out there right now. They've launched their newest line, the Energy Multiplier. Do you know what that does, Dylan?

It multiplies energy. Correct. With roughly 100 milligrams of clean caffeine, it's the perfect coffee replacement and an all-natural alternative to processed energy drinks for a sustained energy boost throughout the day. Not only does this stuff hydrate you, but it's multiplying your energy. Half of Americans report that they struggle with daily fatigue. You always seem to have it, Dylan, around like 10.30 in the morning

until like noon every day. Fatigue? Yeah. You're just dragging ass constantly. It constantly like a shot at me but okay some signs may include decreased focus lack of motivation poor mood dylan unhappiness dylan with liquid ivs energy multiplier you can upgrade your vibe and reach the constant state of awesome you know we love it dylan you know what you know what i did the other day for you when i was pouring a liquid iv toss that lemon lime to the side and i was like you know what I did the other day for you when I was pouring a liquid IV? Toss that lemon-lime to the side, and I was like, you know what? You did it for me?

It's passion fruit day. Dude, how hard does a passion fruit hit? Dude, from miles away. You were sleeping on it for all this time. I never slept on it. At one point, it was my favorite, but then I started just really getting back into the lemon-lime. I don't know. Like we said, it's a healthier alternative to traditional energy drinks and coffee.

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Hey, how about Joe Biden tossing on Despacito at the podium? Despacito. Not the Bieber version. What is he doing? The original. Why is he doing this? I don't know. Who said, yeah, Joe, go with that bit?

That's a good one. Probably whoever was advising Hillary Clinton because it's something she would have done. She had her mannequin challenge, which, Dave, you who says that's the day her campaign died? I think that's a lot of people. That mannequin challenge went off. That was a tight one. It says here that it was ahead of his remarks kicking off Hispanic Heritage Month in Kissimmee, Florida. Kissimmee, Florida.

That's an interesting place. Yeah, so this was summer saying pandering yeah it's it's weird it's a weird move as I'd like to take a line from former PGP writer ice house Peter Hart say what's the weirdest place you've ever pulled out your phone and played despacito in his if the video you've all done it the video is much worse because his face when he hits play on it and like looks around to like feel the room out it's just so uncomfortable he looks he just looks he's got creep face man well he's a very old man you can't toss that on him creep face he's got creep face he He's old. Come on. He's significantly older than you.

What if someone said that your grandpa had creep face, dude? I'd be like, you know what? Yeah. If you look like that. I think all grandpas have creep face. It's just understood after like 70. Well, I would actually tell them that actually he passed away a long time ago. Oh, really?

Thanks for bringing it up. All of ours. That's what I would say. So, how do you feel now? About the same. Okay. Well. say so how do you feel now about the same okay well some people got mad at me just for like quote tweeting it just kind of questioning the move there's like a lot of blue check marks on twitter who were like oh well you guys were mad about um joe biden playing a song uh trump was

committing war crimes just assume that you're a big trump guy because you're making a joke at biden's expense i know dude that's the thing about our podcast we can't rip on anybody without getting the other side coming it's like guys i i rip on everybody pretty evenly i don't really want to trump and biden i don't even rip on trump anymore because it's like i don't want i don't want duda to like respond to it and say you got the orange cheeto man but thank you no i don't want i don't want people from either side of the spectrum in my mentions at this point moderates only me saying biden has creep faces not mean i'm endorsing trump sounds like it and if i make fun of trump which i have many times is that doesn't mean i'm

a biden guy that shit's so annoying here's the thing we want we if this is the guy we're not this is the nom this is the nominee that's supposed to take down trump awesome let's do it and if he's doing shit like this i just maybe it's not that big of a deal. But I just remember Beto got swatted out to half court for skateboarding across the stage. Well, it's because he was a shitty skateboarder. He was fine. Yang put him in the ground when he skateboarded. Yang did put him in the ground.

What if he kid-flipped right in your grill? Biden? No. Not Biden. Biden can't kid-flip, dude. There's no way. You know what? I would be happy.

I would gladly take it because we gave Beto a lot of shit. But I'm just saying that, like, I don't know. It probably turns off younger people when they see this. They're like, dude, you're not. This landed with nobody. Why Despacito? There's so many other, like, Latin songs out there that you could do that aren, they're like, dude, you're not... This landed with nobody. You don't have to do this. Why Despacito? There's so many other Latin songs out there that you could do that aren't just like... That makes it look like you're just late to the game.

Yeah, but it also, because of the remix with Bieber, it connects with young people, too. People know it now. At least he didn't do the Bieber version. Play Don's a Cajuro or Biddy Biddy Bomb Bomb or something. He comes out, Blair and Selena, and then we've got a whole different story today. Oh, it's over. What if Biden just Cupid shuffles with Dylan? Oh, yeah.

It's on then. I might endorse him for that. I can't do the Cupid shuffle. Why? Everyone can do the – that's the beauty about it. Yeah, until I start bumping into people because when he says go to the left, I go to the left and right. Just do what everybody else is doing. Is there anything worse?

I can't be the guy looking over it like the bridesmaid next to me just bumping into her like, oh, sorry. I feel the crowd, dog. I don't know my lefts and rights. Is there anything better than being at a wedding and you're mid-conversation with someone and then the first few bars of that come on and all the moms and the aunts and everybody, they all run

out there and you're like, oh, here we go. That's the thing about it, man. It gets everybody going. Somebody drag run out there, and you're like, oh, here we go. That's the thing about it, man. It gets everybody going. Somebody drags you out there, and you're like, oh, no. Every time you bring up songs at a wedding with moms, which is weirdly more often than we would think, I think about how you told me before your wedding that your mom was really adamant that they have Happy by Pharrell on the playlist. My mother-in-law. Mother-in-law. She specifically requested the Pharrell Happy song, which, looking back, it's a good song.

I mean, yeah, I don't think we were hitting the Kwan to it, but we got close. No, that came later. When my friends brought out the invisible jump rope. Is it danceable? Maybe it is. Happy? Yeah.

A lot of hand dancing. A lot of suburban moms on the dance floor just raising the roof. Don't clip that,andy yes there's already the one from last week of just just putting it up there oh man uh yeah just you don't have to do this that's all we're saying it was bad there's a lot about election season that i hate just because it's it's so over the top anywhere you look but these moments and seeing joe biden play despacito seeing hillary clinton do a mannequin challenge with john bon jovi look but these moments and seeing joe biden play despacito seeing hillary clinton do

a mannequin challenge with john bon jovi it's these moments that i i look back on fondly and i'm like you know what election season's kind of fun i'm enjoying this it can't get here soon enough he's pulled he pulls out his iphone i think he's a spotify guy he has no clue he's apple dude he took did you he played no he went to the lat Latin radio on Pandora and just pressed play and put it up to the mic. I just want to know who put him up to this. That person needs to be fired. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if they should.

We don't talk politics that very often on this podcast, and now we're just all in. The president quote tweeted a fake version of it, where instead of despacito it's nwa fuck the police which he did not yes dude i say what about trump his quote game is his quote tweet game is stupid that's pretty funny actually i that's pretty funny he deleted oh he just i think it got twittered uh it got twitter fake fake newsed. Did it really? Yeah, they labeled it misinformation. His quote tweet says, what is this all about?

And I hit play. That's great. I hit play on it because I was like, no way this is the real version. And it's just, fuck the police. That's so funny. Imagine him playing that at the podium. Man. And just don't play music from your phone. I mean, at least have Bluetooth

technology. Why don't you come out to Despacito instead of playing it from your phone and then bobbing along with it at the podium? It's shocking that not one person in his camp was like, this is probably not a good idea. Not one person spoke up. Maybe they did and they just got swatted. I need to know the person who told them to do it.

Yeah, whose idea was this? And then fire them immediately. Yeah, you're at the highest level of American politics. You have a walkout song. That's an option. Like, dude, what do you want? No, I got this. Can you imagine now batting Dylan Chivalry and you walk up there with no music

and then you just pull out your phone like you're out of the box and you just just hit play i'm just imagining now like a debate in uh in like mid-october like the fox news debate and when biden rogan's out when biden walks out they just they turn on fuck the police in the background it would be it would just be emasculating you can't you can't come back from that. Oh, I need to watch that video. Goodness. Fuck the post. Y'all, I was bummed that y'all got to talk about the Rogan thing because I didn't even know that happened.

And let me just say that that's absolutely not happening. No. First of all, no one wants four hours of that. Four hours is too long. I would be cool with 90 minutes. I would be cool with an hour, honestly. Why does Rogan want to do four hours what does he not understand that sometimes less is more i would listen to his podcast more if it wasn't three hours long he is what i like about it is

that he's like we can't have a real conversation in like two minutes and then go to commercial and come back for another minute like they do on talk shows right which he's right about but like say dude you don't have to drag it on to four and a half hours you don't have to do uh three and a half hours with post malone that's why i kind of like it when he gets his big guests who don't do the three hours they do like an hour and a jimmy fox did like an hour yeah that i prefer that what i'm saying is don't look forward to any three hours circling backs anytime soon. I don't even think I can. I couldn't.

I can't even twitch for two hours. I can't look at Joe's faces for that long in here. It's too much. This is the unhappiness I was talking about during the Liquid IV ad read. Liquidiv.com. I get sick of your presence. I'm sorry. Really, dude?

No, that's not true. Sorry for trying to make you laugh again during the ad read. I'm sorry that I get you such good presents and you just don't appreciate them. Oh, come on. You do give me good presents. It's true. Shut up. You didn't even get parts of birthday presents. Yes, I did.

I Venmo'd you for half of the mini sticks set. Not according to Twitter and Instagram. I know. I got no love for that. Brett ordered the damn gift for the homie and then I Venmo'd him half and then nothing. Does he even play with that? Just be honest. Dude, he hasn't touched an actual toy in so long because he's too into his iPad.

He plays games on there. He's a digital boy. He is, man. A 21st century digital boy. You're an analog boy living in a digital world. Boy, ain't that the truth. Only real pop punk fans will understand that reference.

Do you think he'll join a roller hockey league with us? Oh, do you wait? No, but he's expressed interest in playing soccer. Hell yes. That's pretty much... Any activity he wants to do, I am all in on. So I'm going to become a soccer dad. If he needs to work on his

touch or anything, we can go to Zilker someday and we can just pump balls at him. You're not going to teach him how to block a penalty kick, though? No, I didn't play goalie, Dylan, so that would be weird if I was trying to do that. I'll teach him how to strike. Teach him how to strike and then schwab. You got any strike?

Strike and schwab. Strike and schwab. He was asking what a sniper does. We were watching. No, a sniper. A sniper. That's what he calls it. Strackenschwab. He was asking what a sniper does. We were watching him. No, a sniper. A sniper. That's what he calls it. He calls it a sniper. Yeah. Oh, look at that sniper raffle.

I didn't know how in detail I could explain it. I don't know why I just gave him a country accent. Yeah, he doesn't talk like that. He doesn't talk like that at all. He doesn't talk like that at all. I got a DM recently from a dude in Nebraska who wants us to sponsor his club soccer team. Oh, really? Mm-hmm.

I told him. I was like, send over the information. I'll let you know. I'd be much more inclined to do a local team so we can go watch him play. He's like, does it matter that we're in Nebraska? I was like, that somehow might make it better. No, it somehow matters a lot, actually. No, I don't think it does.

We need to tap into Nebraska. He could be like, hey, we went 18-0 and won our championship, and we would never know if he's lying or not. If you guys veto me sponsoring some random soccer team, I'm probably just going to do it out of my own pocket just to do it so I can get a jersey with our shit on it. I'm too lazy to try to figure out how to print an actual soccer jersey. We're going to sponsor any team Parks is on, for sure.

Does Austin FC have a shirt sponsor yet? More on that later. Oh. We should get them. Do we have anything else on Joe Biden, or can we move on to the other pandering thing with Paul Rudd? That's all I got on Biden for the moment. Stand by, Sleepy Joe.

Well, Paul Rudd released a video, promotional video. I unfortunately watched it. For people to wear masks, and I don't think any of us made it through the entire video, unfortunately. So he's a good guy for agreeing to do this. It's just a PSA for the state of New York, right? Like, OK, yeah, I'll do it. You know, make people wear masks, get the kids to wear the masks.

I just I don't know why they didn't get somebody a little bit more relevant with that demo. Maybe that was the point to get us to even talk about it. I don't know why they didn't get somebody a little bit more relevant with that demo. Maybe that was the point to get us to even talk about it. I don't know. The reason they didn't is because whoever was in charge of making this happen, the only recent meme that they knew about was the Paul Rudd one from Hot Ones because that was the most popular meme for like a month. And they were like, we should just get Paul Rudd. Not realizing that like if you want people like us, everyone in this room to hear the message,

then yeah, get Paul Rudd to tell it because we're probably going to listen to that. But a bunch of teenagers aren't going to give a shit if Paul Rudd is telling you to wear a mask. No, you just got to get a, whatever girl's blowing up on TikTok or Reels doing the shuffle dance, that's who you need to get to do the mask thing.

Which, by the way, all-time bad dance. Which age demographic is most anti-mask at this point? Because I feel like it's boomers and up. Old people, right? Right? Old people hate their- Young people are pretty much pro-mask. I mean, colleges, you see people walking around just swapping spit all day.

I get it. But you need to target the older folks. Did you see, Will, your alma mater? Oh, my God. Did y'all talk about that? No, we didn't. To be honest, I don't think I have takes on that video. They all had COVID.

My take on the video is, like, what do you think is going to happen when you send a bunch of college kids back to college and you put them in a house together? Oh, I didn't realize that was at Miami. Yeah, I don't really know what those kids are supposed to do at that point. I mean, yes, they should not have people over. But, like, yes, the kids are buttheads. But at the same time, I'm like, well, what did you think these kids were going to do?

You think you're going to send them off to college and put them in a house together and just have them all, like, self-quarantine? It's not happening. At least he was at home. Yeah, and the kid in the fish shirt looked chill. The cop was so just, like, disappointed. He's like, yeah, like, three of us have it,'s like, yeah, like three of us have it. And then like everybody in that house has it.

Cop's like, oh, okay. The kid's like, I'm staying at home. Yeah, I mean, technically, yes, you are staying at home. But he had the whole squad over. You have literally, you have your entire pledge class over. Yeah, which you probably shouldn't do. And then they, because the cops showed up and they dispersed, people left. Like, they took COVID with them. Like, oh, okay. shouldn't do and then they because the cops stood up and they dispersed people left like what they

took covet with them like oh okay yeah i just like i had a hard time like getting mad at these kids because i'm just like i don't know what we expected them to do yeah i think they're going to do that do college kids do they have and not even just college like anybody 25 and under do they have the opinion like well we're probably gonna probably going to get it anyway? Probably. Because I think back to like me being an idiot at 24 or 22. Dude, I would have been the same way. These kids are like 19, 20 or 21 or whatever. Yeah. I didn't give a fuck.

I would have been doing the same thing. You were selling cell phones. I was selling cell phones. At the Singular store. Singular Wireless. Shout out. No longer exists. Cell phones.

The singular store. Singular wireless. Shout out. No longer exists. Even like I told you before we recorded today, I got to the COVID episode of the All or Nothing series. And they were pretty much just telling the players like, yeah, I mean, for you guys, you don't really have to worry about it. Like, you're very healthy. You're going to be fine.

Yeah. In college, I can see them thinking it's like a fun, like, ooh, stay at home. Let's just get drunk at the house all day. We're quarantined. Like, fuck it. 100%. Who cares? 100%. 100 yeah they're probably not feeling any symptoms of it it's just a a big fun adventure for them i mean really kids like yeah i got it like a week ago they live like a little you know community a little college community like every house in this neighborhood is probably college kids they're all yeah. I've been to the house that those kids were in. Really?

A hundred percent. Every single house. Just surrounded by like, yeah. It's like, fuck it. Every single house in that neighborhood, in that area is student housing. It's like 75% COVID positive rate within that little neighborhood.

It reminded me of when I moved to Lubbock by myself for a little bit. The house I was in was in Tech Terrace. And Tech Terrace is is just it's like that neighborhoods but it's all it's all college students and with a few families mixed in that you feel bad for because you're like man that sucks you gotta live next to these dickheads yeah they don't even have families in that like area like it's straight up just a bunch of college kids who have covid that are hanging out what's it called what's that area called it's not called

anything it's just it's just very close to the campus, and the houses get pretty much handed down from class to class, and you just get it through your friends. I found myself very unsurprised with that video. Yeah, I saw how viral it was going, and I was just like, I watched it, and I was like, okay. Because the cop was like, so you have COVID. He's like, yeah.

Yep. The whole squad does, actually. He's just like, ah. Yeah. Instead of calling Billy Eilish in this Paul Rudd video, maybe they should have just gotten Billy Eilish. I didn't know that it was kept on your record if you test positive. How does it hit your record like that?

Not sure. What do you mean? A cop punches ID into his little computer, and it dinged as having COVID. I don't know. Are you serious? That's how we found out. Oh. Yeah, i don't know are you serious that's how we found out oh yeah i don't know how they do that yeah i mean to be honest i don't i didn't i don't i don't feel like the world has a very good system of knowing who has it and who doesn't unless you're in a hospital and it's on your record ohio is apparently on top of their shit

shout out ohio we're big ohio it's about time we gave Ohio love. They deserve it. Big Ohio guys. We'll see you all there very soon. I'm not even allowed in the state. Doesn't DeChant live there? He does. He's a Cleveland boy. Is he really?

Yeah. Cleveland rocks. He sent me an email for spooky season. Really? Yeah. Was it like a joke? No, I haven't read it. I just saw the subject line.

It's like the tale of the 5'9 fraud. And it's about like a guy who puts off 5'9 vibes that's actually like 6'1. It's weird. I don't know. I got to read it. He has, mid-podcast, submitted a meme for tonight. Are you serious? Yeah.

His ears were ringing. Yeah. It's a good one, too. We'll see about it. Can we talk about Quip real quick? Please. Dylan, when's the last time you got rewarded for brushing your teeth? Since I used Quip real quick. Please. Dylan, when's the last time you got rewarded for brushing your teeth? Since I used Quip this morning.

Well, with Quip's new smart electric toothbrush, good habits can earn you great perks like free products, gift cards, and more, potentially. I mean, this new system they have is just great. We've talked about Quip a million times, but this is something brand new that rewards both you and your mouth. Dylan loves a good mouth reward. I do. The Quip smart brush for adults and kids connects to the Quip app with Bluetooth.

We're a big Bluetooth podcast. We like the technology. We sure do. Dave? Look at these teeth. You think I like the Bluetooth technology? Yeah, clearly. I pretty much have put my entire fortune into it. They should change it.

For you, they should change it to white teeth technology because this is looking amazing. You can track when and how well you brush, get tips and coaching to improve your habits. You can earn points for daily brushing and bonus points for completing challenges like streaks. You can redeem for rewards like free products, gift cards, discounts from Quip and their partners.

And if you already have a Quip, you can upgrade it with a smart motor and keep the features you know and love. The sensitive sonic vibrations, the two-minute timer with 30-second pulses for a guided clean, the slim, lightweight, and sleek. That's actually how we always talk about Brett. With no wires or bulky charger to weigh you down. The multi-use travel cover that doubles as a mirror mount.

I bet Dylan didn't even know it was a mirror mount. Dude, mine's mounted on my mirror, so explain that, jerk. You probably got mad and, like, threw it at the mirror, and it just stuck there, and you're like, whoa. That's pretty chill. I give off rage vibes to people. You put off keep the toothbrush in the soap dish in your shower vibes. Oh, no. I'm not a shower brusher.

Not. I'm not, but whenever I do it, I'm like, I should do this more often. It feels nice. Sometimes I'll brush Parks while he's in the bath or in the shower. Brush his teeth for him. Hell yeah. Just to knock him out. Hell yeah.

He makes a mess. He's a kid. Beyond the brush, Quip has everything you need to build a complete routine. Mint or watermelon toothpaste with anti-cavity ingredients for strong, healthy teeth. Floss that expands to clean and comes in refillable dispensers to reduce waste. healthy teeth, floss that expands to clean and comes in refillable dispensers to reduce waste, eco-friendly solar battery charger to power your Quip with sunshine, and the Refresh Bag to give you good oral care habits everywhere you go. Plus, you can get a brush head, toothpaste, and floss refills delivered from $5,

and shipping is free. How smart is that, guys? I mean, that's a lot of sass. Join over 5 million miles who use Quip and save hundreds compared to the Bluetooth toothbrushes. When you get a Quip smart brush for just $45, start getting rewards for brushing your teeth today and go to getquip.com slash circlingback right now to get your first refill pack free. That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash circlingback. That's G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash circling back. Quip.

Better oral health. Made simple and rewarding. Sports time. Didn't they, uh... Sports. Dylan, wasn't your biography called Five Million Mouths? Uh, I don't know what you're talking about, Dave. So, no.

This guy. Always joking. Always joking, man. Just So, no. This guy. Always joking. Always joking, man. Just asking questions. Valid question. Always joking. Valid question. We got ourselves a sports minute, Hoss.

Big Ten is back, baby. Could we call this Little Dips? Little Dips. How about Many Dips? Sufficient Dip. Sufficient amount. Have you guys ever... Sad.

You're a hummus boy, Dylan. Oh, yeah. Do you like hummus, Dave? I don't hate it. I don't go out of my way for it, but I'll enjoy it if it's there on like a spread. Because talking about little dips, have you ever noticed that the Sabra hummus containers, like the little personal ones, how much hummus they give you in those containers? No, I haven't.

It's a lot. It's a cocky amount of hummus. It punches above its weight class. It's like you have to use a lot in the beginning or else you're just left with all this hummus and no pretzel chips anymore. The Sabra pine roasted nut Hummus is really good. It is. I agree.

Yeah. They need more nut. They do need more nut. I want more nut in it. I would really love some more nut. What nut do they use? Pine. Really?

Mm-hmm. Is it Chris Pine's nuts? It's roasted pine. Roasted pine nuts. They roast them, David. Did you guys look at Chris Evans' wiener on the internet this weekend? No, I need to see it. Randy, pull that up.

Wait, what? He's got a good piece. Chris Evans accidentally released a photo of his wiener when he took a screenshot of his camera roll. You think it was an accident? I don't know. What? I did like that he had memes of himself saved in his camera roll next to his dick pics, though. He does.

Was this a PSA to wear masks? Hard to say. This is what they should have done. How do you look? It just fires off a pic. Does he have a good piece? Yes. Really?

Mm-hmm. It's not the best photo, but, you know. Is it, um, what state is it in? I think it was in an inflated state. No one's doing flaccid DPs. Didn't Brett Favre? Somebody did. Brett Favre?

Brett Favre's were not completely. To that Florida State cowgirl? No, you're thinking of, I always forget his name. He used to pitch for the Tigers, now the Astros. Verlander. Verlander, yeah, but. He did a flaccid one that was unfair because that was the fappening

exposure. Yeah, way to go. I didn't look at that. The most embarrassing photo to come out of that was just Justin Verlander taking a shirtless pic in jeans in his bathroom. I take that pic every morning. It's like, dude, you don't look cool right now. Who are you sending this to? I know you're married to Kate Upton,

but this is not a sexy pic. When you said that, for some reason, Brett looked and there's reflection in the window. Did you notice what you just did? Somebody went by. Oh, they did? Okay. I thought you were kind of solid.

I mean, it looks fine. Thank you. It's growing out. It's very coiffed. Thank you. No one's leading off their sports minute talking about Chris Evans Wiener. Dick pics are a sport. Nothing to do with sports.

Are you guys seeing this tweet that's tearing up the timeline right now? R.E. Sports. David Hutchstead, noted Wisconsin Badger reporter, said, I've spent the last 188 days fighting to save Big Ten football. Today we accomplished that mission. Much like the Osama bin Laden raid or D-Day, you never know when your number will be called to serve. All that you hope for is to execute your job in the mission.

We did just that. So he has compared Big Ten football coming back and his role in it to D-Day and the Osama bin Laden raid. Yeah, that's a bit much, I would say. Who's the woman who, as she writes for USA Today, they call this the darkest day in Big Ten history? I can think of a few more, Dylan. Yeah.

Such as? Jerry Sandusky, Dave. How about that? Larry Nassar. Any more? Yeah, Larry Nassar. Larry Nassar. Also noted scumbag.

So. Yeah, I feel like this David Woodstead guy, I feel like he pops up on my TL like once every few months with just an all-time bad take. Maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, Christine Brennan is the woman I'm talking about. So the Big Ten's going to come back. Ohio State's going to go 8-0 or whatever, 7-0.

And they're going to go to the playoff. That's how this works. We'll see about it. I don't know how it's going to shake out're going to go to the playoff. That's how this works. We'll see about it. I don't know how it's going to shake out at the end, what the playoff will look like. I feel about Michigan well. No clue. No clue.

I'm in the camp of people right now that can't – I'm watching college football, but I'm not really taking it seriously as if it's actually happening. I don't really know why. I mean, maybe because, like, the Big Ten wasn't playing, so it's just like well what's what's even happening here also the uh ivy leagues playing in spring that's big it's big that's big uh pack 12 nothing from them i've heard a peep out of the pack 12 man i

don't know what's going on with them they got a lot going on between the global pandemic and the fires i'm gonna give the pack 12 a little grace if they want to see this one. I am too. I am too. I'm not going to say a bad thing about them, although I want them to be in the mix. I like watching some late-night West Coast football. Oh, those are the best, man.

If there's a 9 p.m. kick for Stanford, I'm watching that game every single time. I want to fall asleep at the start of the fourth quarter, not knowing what I want. Oh, I'm falling asleep at halftime every time. I'll check the score when I wake up. But I'm going to miss those, man. Those were awesome. It is fun to have a bet at like 10.30 and just be like, you know what? I'm going to bail myself out on the weekend here.

Yeah. And then wake up and be surprised. Even without the betting. Yeah, that too. Yeah, because I don't really throw big boy stacks around. Well, you're on FanDuel now. Well, yeah. Of course.

Yeah, but you have little boy stacks right now on FanDuel. Yeah, I haven't put big. I've been tracking your bets. I haven't deposited a big boy yet. You will. You'll get there. Have you won any money on there? How you doing on there?

Dude, Brett's cleaning up. I am cleaning up. Brett texts me like once a day and he's like, dude, I'm killing FanDuel right now. I win like 12 bucks a pop. Yeah, FanDuel's about to pull their sponsorship from the podcast because they're going to be like, all right, we're losing money on these guys. Oh, we have a call with them tomorrow. No, no, no. I'm losing plenty. Okay. Trust me.

It doesn't really help when you just pick all the guys on your team. Dave didn't know they got points for blocked shots or just regular shots. Dave's picking his favorite guys. I mean, the Stars were blocking hella shots the other night. Dude, that's still the most painful thing to see.

What? Just blocking a slap shot. Oh, yeah. And just watching the guy like just slowly skate off. Or even worse is when they can't clear the zone with it, so they're stuck there and they're just like moping around. Yeah. It's just bad.

In the knee or something. And they're just trying. They're trying. They're trying. They're trying. There needs to be, they need to update the rule on if your stick breaks. Oh, hey, Randy. If your stick breaks and you're just, you know, you can't just carry around a spear. So you're just like, you just have to kind of play the body, but you can't do too much.

You can't interfere. It's just, there's got to be a better way. As a neutral party, it was hard for me to watch that over time because I was just like, okay, this is not how you want to – I mean, for you, this is exactly how you want a series to end, a quick overtime win. But for people like Dylan, I was just like, man, I don't really want this to end with a power play and a guy with no stick. I'm glad I wasn't watching it. Did they have a guy with no stick? I can't –

Yeah. The second that happened, I was like, oh – I was like, Sally, look up. I think the Stars are going to pour it on right now, two seconds later. Yeah. 110 miles an hour, Will. It was not 110 miles an hour. I don't care. This is big NHL just going against the grain.

This is actually from like a NextGenStats Twitter feed. Big NextGenStats is just trying to toilet our minds. Big Analytics? Yeah. 110, 105, either way. Same thing. So if the Stars win, do they get an actual Stanley Cup or do they get some kind of other trophy that's smaller?

It's not funny. Come on, man. It's not funny. I'm excited for your Stars. It's not laughing. I'm not. Well, if they win the Cup, the Buffalo Sabres beat them on January 19th. They didn't.

People have looked into it. It was 4-1. They definitely didn't. Wasn didn't. People have looked into it. It was 4-1. They definitely didn't. Wasn't it game six also? No, no, no. I'm talking like six months ago. Oh, my bad. I thought we were going way back.

No, no, no. My bad. The Stars were terrible. There was a time where they lost like – have you followed their season? No, not at all. They fired their coach on weird terms. Nobody really knows what happened happened but he did something wasn't he like sneaky abusing

somebody or there was no i don't they said there was no no criminal okay but he might have had some issues with substances we don't know got it fire i mean and this happened to the blues last year remember the blues mid-season got rid of their guy, and they, much to my dismay, they won the Cup. And, yeah. Oh, no. Dave. Sean Lee, out six weeks.

Yeah. You just got to count on him not being a part of the team at this point. This will be his last season if he even gets to play. A real shame. Sorry to derail your positive. Oh, that's Brett's breaking news in real time. That just derail your positive dollar. No, that's Brett's breaking news in real time. That just hit the TL right in front of my face.

Well, we've got more football to watch. Who's Texas got this week? They're off. Nobody. Then they've got Tech the next weekend. Oh, no. Isn't Tech just filled with COVID right now? Tech is not a good football team.

Didn't they have 73 players test positive? They almost lost to Houston Baptist, Will. They would take, yeah. You big Houston Baptist fan? Or are you like many who didn't They almost lost to Houston Baptist, Will. They would take, yeah. You a big Houston Baptist fan? Or are you like many who didn't realize there was a Houston Baptist? There were a lot of schools that I didn't know had big football teams this past weekend. I was like, oh, that's interesting. First time I'd ever heard Houston Baptist.

They tried to lose to them, which didn't feel like the move. Tech? Yeah. Tech's not good. Sorry, which didn't feel like the move. Tech? Yeah. Tech's not good. Sorry, people who are listening who like tech. They don't have any tech fans. They know, though. No, we don't have any tech fans, right?

Nah. Why don't they just get another quarterback like their old one? Yeah. Who, Pat Mahomes? Yeah, that guy. Graham Harrell. He seemed like a good recruit. They should get him again.

What was it? B.J. Simmons. He's the greatest Tech quarterback in history. Did they trade him to Kansas City? Tech? Yeah. Yeah. And they traded Cliff to Cardinals.

He's just sitting in his big-ass empty house. Until Pat Mahomes. Why is his house so big and empty? Tech was a school that was king of turning up quarterbacks who threw for like 6,000 yards a season and just didn't get a sniff from the NFL. We call them system quarterbacks. The old air raid. You know what?

That was pretty much the Baylor way, too. Cliff? Cliff was like one of the first. Yeah. Who is he a disciple of? Is it June Jones? Wake up! Put the ball down!

I don't know. Okay. I want to chime in, but I don't have anything quick off the head that I can do to it. That's about all. As far as my System of a Down reference goes, I don't really know too much. I never got into them. I owned one of their CDs. Dylan, you're a big System of a Down guy.

Absolutely not. System of a First Down? That's so stupid. It's so funny. Crap. That's a funny podcast. Oh, Dylan, that was bad. Yeah, dude, that wasn't good at all.

That was good. Objectively bad. What'd you say? Do it again. Let's see if it holds up. I said system of a crap. That's bad. That sucked.

That's real bad. Jeez, man. Weren't you system of a crown? Because of all the Zetas? Come on, dude. Come on. We're not doing that. We did it.

How did I become the guy who just takes all the smoke from everyone? Because everybody's jealous of you. Everybody's jealous because you're permanently tan. You got a good head of hair. Is it the beard?

Someone called you when they re-watched the TFM Combine video. They called you an absolute unit. Yeah, I don't know why. No one's talking about that. Because you're a man, dude. I did win every event.

Not everyone. Not to brag. Yes, I did. I thought you tied in one. I swept the whole event. I would like another go at the 40-yard dash, not on wet grass. Yeah, wearing just regular jeans. Not saying I could go sub-five, but I think I could flirt with it.

No, you can't. I could flirt with it. No, you can't. I could flirt with it. Anything 5'3 and under is flirting with it. I would just like to be included in this one. Why did you not? You're a 5'2, 5' on your best day right now. And that's not an insult. It's really hard to run a sub-5 at this age.

You are fast going vertical, but you have no horizontal or lateral movement. That's true. Is it because he broke your ankle? He's like an alligator. Even though I won the cone drill too. They call Dylan the gator. Why is he the gator? Because he can't do lateral movement.

Can they not do a lateral movement? They say zigzag if they're chasing you. No, that's an elephant. That's an alligator too. They got the tiny legs. It's an alligator, dude. I think an alligator, you just run the other way. They're not like fast.

No, but you zigzag. They teach kids to zigzag. That's the elephant. No, I had a long conversation about this because a former co-worker of ours from Florida, Joe, he told me all about it. I told you the story about when I was attacked by the horses. I zigzagged, and it didn't work because they are very agile, it turns out. Maybe you're not zagging enough. That wasn't it, man.

They were just like, what is this idiot doing? I'm a horse. I can do what I want. And they just were coming at me. Zigzagging for horses I don't think is the move. That's what I found out the hard way. You don't see jockeys running in front of Secretariat just going side to side. Jockeys typically aren't running from horses.

They're riding them. But it's whatever. It would be a lot more fun if they were running from horses yeah remember when ocho cinco raced a horse that was stupid he got like a mile head start did he win ocho cinco change his name from chad johnson and chad ocho sink i do yeah i do he was at one of the more random duncanville spots and tweeting out yo i'm at i'm at uh whatever it was in duncanville subway it was dude i mean it was in a strip whatever it was in Duncanville. Subway? Dude, I mean, it was in a strip mall. Everybody's like, wait, what are you doing?

Why are you here? You tell people to pull up? Yes. Does it come through? I don't know if they – I'm sure they did, actually. I'm at the park on South Lamar. Did you know we have porcupines in South Austin? What?

No way. They've been popping up on my next door app and that kind of scares me. Not that I fear them, but like, you know, they can hurt your dog. How many? Porcupines? Yeah.

Just one? Or like an army? I mean, people are like, yeah, I see them on Slaughter all the time. Catch a quill if you're not careful. It's a weird animal.

They can climb trees and shit. No way. Porcupine. Yeah. Porcupine. Yeah. Porcupine. I feel like I put out porcupine vibes. Dude, is this small business?

Were you a porcupine in that rendition of us? Beaver. A beaver. Yeah. Yeah, you do put off beaver vibes. Dude, I might get a beaver hat this winter. Don't you have one? No.

Mine's just a wool Stetson. I might get a Beav. You should borrow Micah's tiny cowboy hat. I don't think so. I'm going to go to the Aspen Hatter on Barton Springs. Sally is dead set on me getting a hat when we go to Aspen.

She really wants me to get a cowboy hat there. I seriously want one so bad. Flounder can tell you where to go. She already has the spot where she's been and where her cowboy hat is from. I looked online, and it looks like I'm going to get shelled. I just don't know if I want to get a traditional felt cowboy hat or the flat brim, like the guy from – Well, you need a different one. If you're going to go to church or a concert with the boys, night out with the boys.

Think about what Kale would wear. What color should I get? Black. That would look dope on you, dude. Like the Joe Exotic music video. I don't feel like I have the cojones to rock a black cowboy hat. Why can I not think of the movie with Lady Gaga and... Tombstone.

No, no, no. Lady Gaga. Starsborne. I knew it and I was waiting for you to get it. Fuck you. Help me out. No, I was waiting for it. Throw me a rope here.

Just stick with your fedora. No. That hat is kind of what I had in mind. His hat. I can't remember the character's name either. I had in mind. His hat. I can't remember the character's name either. I'm just a mess right now. Do the Crazy Heart one. Crazy Heart.

Sneaky, better movie than The Star is Born. Mel Gibson. Oh, this is fair. This is a fair thing that you're saying about this hat, Dylan. I love that hat. Yeah. I like where your head's at with this because this is different than the black cowboy hat I was imagining. It's not a traditional cowboy hat.

It's more flat brim, but it's also not like super hipster trendy. It's toned down. Right. Yeah. It's a good blend. We're arriving in Aspen late on a Friday night. First thing I'm doing Saturday morning is going and buying a hat. I could get one beforehand, but then you have to travel with a hat,

which is literally the worst thing in the world. There's an Aspen hat in Aspen, too, by the way. I'm not going to that, dude. It takes like six months to get a damn hat. And they're so expensive. I know. They're like three grand. They start at one for the base, like nothing extra on it.

Dude, I'm not trying to spend that much money on a hat. And I'm going to wear it for a bit. Maybe it's not going to be a bit. As someone who's invested a significant amount of money in his lifetime to one-off bits, clothing, don't do it. It is very defeating when you forget about

it and you're rearranging your closet and you find said piece of clothing. You're like, oh, that was cool. I wore that to one Halloween party 15 years ago. See, I think I would wear it, wear it. Not just as a bit. Not a lot. Well, to pull back the curtain, I'd be wearing it as a bit to kind of ease people into me wearing it all the time.

That was my beard. Yeah. My attempt at a beard was like, oh, I'm having fun. And then I was like, I'm not anymore. This is it. This is how I look. Fun's over, everyone. I'm a beard guy.

That's honestly where I'm at. Yeah. Yeah, you're at the brink of like, is this a serious thing or am i just having fun with it still here answer this question dave okay will your christmas card have you with a mustache on it absolutely okay just that that's when you know yeah i mean, the results did shock me. It's tight. I was surprised. I've never done it this bushy. Now I'm like, okay, come on, man.

I'm wondering, like, all right, should I clean it up? Should I bring it in a little bit? But you don't want to bring it in too much. It does come down pretty far. You know, if you bring it in too much. It's your borderline foo man. Well, yeah. Foo man shoe

I don't want a Fu man you could have a good Fu man yeah I don't know if I want to but I could is there anything that you would go clean-shaven for at this point twins I think probably not like if I like started if I had a girlfriend I got engaged and I was getting married and she was like I really want You to have a clean a cleanly shaved face. I'd be about it. I'd be like All right All right for you, but I'm going to write back What if I what if I was just standing at the altar when I got married and I just clean shaved that morning

I would have how would have left it. I know seats everywhere Sally would have left. This is a farce. Fuck you, Will. Does anybody have any reason that these two should not be wed? Yeah, look at Will's fucking face. Look at his face.

Who is this guy? All your guests are at the pool. They're just like, dude, let's just go. We'll get some servers out there. We did have those old people just drinking champagne on the sidewalk next to the ceremony. With Ben Ratzberger? I drunkenly invited them to the wedding like two nights before, and they showed up, and they stood right outside of it just drinking champagne. They were like, cheers.

And I was like, you know what? You guys are handling this well. The people walking down to the beach, you probably didn't notice them, but it was making me irrationally mad. Like, I was just like because there were some of them were kind of making a little bit of noise i'm like dude i wanted to say something but everybody calmed down when it all happened though yeah they did but there was a minute where i was like are we really about to have the moment ruined by just random beachgoers i was kind of hoping there'd just be like a dude like rollerblading with a boombox on his shoulder despacito despacito joe biden shows up with his phone somebody walks by ever riding the pig glad that went away yeah that was a little aggressive

wasn't it yeah completely unnecessary hey should we do small biz september but the looks on the reporter's face they're just so defeated. Like, not this shit again. You know, their job is very tough. Small Biz September, let's go. Yeah, we should. Small Biz September, we're doing a new, a backer, not owned, but potentially owned, a backer-operated small business each weekend, or each week in September. We've done Woodhouse Chocolate.

We've done Fetch. And now this week, we have Barrow Electrical and Lighting Supply. Boom. Shouts to Reese, who sent this one in. Barrow Electrical and Lighting Supply is a family-owned and operated business located in Fort Worth, Texas. Funky town. Funky town. Just outside downtown since the company's inception in 1968.

They've been on the same lot for almost 50 years. A year too early, if you ask me. They are an electrical and lighting supply company that sells anything and everything that you may need when it comes to lighting. Light bulbs, fixtures, parts, old school fixtures, decorative lighting, string lighting, LEDs. Dylan needs some LEDs for his patio. And everything. I backlit my headboard the other weekend.

It was phenomenal. I could have used Barrow. Most lighting is over people's heads and hard to explain exactly what you want and are looking for, but that's where they can help. They're up to date on the latest technology and design trends in the industry. As a small business, we make customers, or they make customers, our number one priority. Should have edited this a little bit. They should have Micah come do like a spot, like a power plant

from there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's really good. Come here, camera guy! They do the majority of their business in North Texas, Will, but they frequently ship all over Texas and the rest of the United States. There we go! The best way to reach them is calling them.

817-834-2177 or by visiting their website, BarrelElectric.com, for more details and information. It's electrifying. That's B-A-R-R-O-W. Electric. Dude, their logo is just fire.

That dude's keeping that bolt on. It's electric. Shouts to Barrel. That's just a family-owned electric and lighting company. Hell yeah. Mom and pop shop. They're open back up.

Shouts to Reese. Thanks for submitting. That's not Reese, backdoor cover Reese, is it? Depressed Reese? Depressed Texas fan Reese? Yeah. Was he an intern for us at any point? No, but he actually appeared on Touching Base once.

Yeah, I was going to say, I definitely hung out with him before. Maybe not Touching Base. Maybe it was backdoor cover. He came to the South by things, I think. Okay. For the meetup, one of them. Yeah, Reese was around for a, I've definitely hung out with him before. Maybe it was back to recovery. He came to the South by things, I think, for the meetup, one of them. Yeah, Reese was around for a little bit. Shout out Reese. Do y'all want to go line by line through this screenshot of Kanye's contract? He's just live tweeting all the screenshots right now.

This is good content right here. Did you see Kanye's house with the walls around it on Twitter? Oh, yeah. what was that? I didn't know that was his house. I don't know. I just saw people talking about it. What, in like Wyoming? Yeah, well, California. Oh. What part of Cali is he in? Is he south?

Doesn't the song say Calabasas? Where Drake fucked Kim? Oh, no. I know what you're talking about. What? There are actually just two dudes that are pretending to fumigate the house, and they're actually just cooking meth inside of it. Got it. Man, what a weird twist that was.

I enjoyed that. I did, too. I thought to myself, you know, that's actually pretty smart. Hey, should we do the steam room? Ooh. Yeah. It's been a long time. Whatchie. Whatchie. Whatch long time Come here David

No leave me alone Get that ass over here Leave me out of this Hey can you pass the eucalyptus Dylan? Yeah here you go Hey Will there's a sizzle sound effect That people really liked On the first Too Much Dip

If you want to run that Who's steaming today? I got a little steam. Someone parking your spot? But it kind of ends with something I think we can all get behind, which is cutting out a middleman. You know how we feel about middlemen around here.

Fuck middlemen. I don't even acknowledge their existence. So, I have a lawn service. They mow my lawn. I pay them to mow my lawn. But the service is like you pay them

and they find local people to do it. It's one of those. They don't actually come out and do it. They find people to fill the orders basically. And they're just terrible.

They're awful. They reschedule on me constantly. One time I got rescheduled three different times for one job. It was just brutal. Come on. Two times ago, dude shows up, and he doesn't edge.

He doesn't blow the clippings. That's the worst. He doesn't blow the clippings away. Oh, even worse. So he's not edging, and he's not blowing either? Right. So what's he doing? What's he paying for?

This is not dirty. It's about mowing on my lawn. And in my front yard, I have these two trees that are about two and a half, three feet apart. A standard mower can fit between them. His, I think, was a little bit bigger. So instead of getting out his weed whacker and trimming, he just left a big piece in my yard unmowed because he couldn't fit his mower through it. Just an unbelievably shoddy job. How did you even find this service?

Through you, you dumb ass they recommended it to me which like to be honest whenever dave talks about like his getting done i'm always like this doesn't sound like it's going well anyway yeah it's not great last week a dude shows up his name is sonny shouts to sonny and he did an amazing job so good he asked me like even like hey do you want me to do this over here he's like nah forget about it good good dude and so what what i do i cut out the middle man i said can i have your phone number i want to go straight to you next time i need a my lawn mowed older guy just out there he's he said he's retired he's want to get some exercise get out in the sun a little bit where did you meet this dude in my front yard okay yeah and um so it's a happy ending because sonny's getting

my business edging glowing i won't trash this guy i won't trash the service that i've been using but have a day just all time just bad bad customer service yeah this is my recommendation and i'm not even going to defend it it's not a great service and before did you get like a free mo because no no no in fact it's like they they became worse after i recommended dylan they they frequently change the schedule oh it's terrible they just show up and they get mad at me for not having like randy's dog poo cleaned up in the back well i'm like well dude i didn't know y'all were coming i would have cleaned it up so yeah it's not great and here's the problem i don't like the service i i have a soft spot for

the guys who come out and do it. I'm like, man, I don't want these guys to lose work. So it's like I continue with this bad relationship. This guy's going to make more money off my lawns now because the service, they keep a little bit off the top. Does he pop top when he mows? No, but I might ask him to just to keep things exciting. Pop top and edge. Bring in some lemonade.

Look, before people are like, oh, must be nice. Dylan has a lawn service. It's like 40-something bucks. It's not expensive, guys. Whoa. Okay, dude. Okay. Must be nice.

Must be nice, man. Don't you get it mowed weekly also? No, biweekly. See, our service only comes once every six months, so. Shut up. It's actually. Anyway, that's my steam. Turn the steam off.

Turn it off, Brett. Thank you. That was the valve. One more. Okay. No, it's over. That's it. Let's talk this weekend in fun.

As always, brought to you by Vizzy this week Get excited I'm very excited I got a bunch of Vizzys chilling right now I cleaned out the fridge the other day Because we had a bunch of stuff that I wasn't eating And just needed to get rid of stuff And you know what I made room for?

A bunch of Vizzy Is Vizzy sponsoring tonight's stream? Yeah Really? Yeah Okay Put him on ice Okay

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But it's just a dope superfruit. It's the best superfruit. I know. Superfruit. Hey, superfruit. Yow. Superfruit. There are plenty of hard salsas to choose from.

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Must be 21 or older. They keep sending those pictures in, too. Yeah. The Vizzy people enjoy seeing the screenshots that we take of your Vizzy weekends, so we have a lot of fun with those. So thank you to the audience. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Probably nothing.

Thanks for asking, Will. I was supposed to have Parks on Friday. I am no longer having Parks on Friday because he's going to Agtown, which is Arlington, Texas, with his mother. Oh, is he going to the Shed? I don't think he's going to the Shed. Youlington texas with his mother oh is he going to the shed uh i don't i don't think he's going to watch a ball game i don't think so there's gotta go work just gonna go hit up like uh like strip mall restaurants and stuff you know arlington stuff what y'all talking about over here sorry so i look i'm wide open i'm wide open guys my phone, it's working. I've been getting texts all morning.

Okay. So I know my phone's working. I'm going to send you a text right now to see if it's working, okay? Okay. All right, sent. Oh, man. Damn, dude. It's not coming in.

Oh, man, that's too bad. I got one for me. Anyway, if y'all just want to come by the crib, make sure I'm getting messages. Just like as a safety net of communication, that'd be great. Stop by, say hi. Be like, hey, what are you doing? You want to get a Nutty B with me or something? I'll even supply Nutty Bs this weekend.

Nutty B, is he still rapping? I just got a text from you saying that Pine House sounds pretty good today. Oh, I sent that last weekend. Weird, it just came in. Dude, something with the server. That's so frustrating. It's weird. I feel like you guys communicate pretty easily with each other,

but with me it's just like a hiccup somewhere. You won't, I don't know. We use WhatsApp. Oh. I mean, I have a WhatsApp. I've been texting you on Viber. You can't use CyberDust, Dylan, because then the message has disappeared. I'm not dusting.

I'll Facebook message you. Okay, well, I've got to download Facebook again then. Oh, that's why you haven't been getting anything. I just figured that you would iMessage me. It's like the easiest. Anyway, I would love to hang out with my friends. I will even supply Nutty Bees, like I said. I have some in my fridge right now.

It's the best fall beer around. Everybody knows that. I'll think about it if you don't call it a Nutty Bee. No, I think we're doing nutty Bs. Okay. I would love to provide you and drink next to you a Samuel Smith's nut brown ale. Nut? That's a Letter Kenny joke for anybody out there.

Randy? Was that one of the 500 jokes in the first episode? It is as volume shooting of a show as there is. Again, I'm not out on Letterkenny. I just, I wasn't in the right space for it. I'm free Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

All right, you made that clear. Cool. Thanks, man. All three of those days, I will have nothing to do. Awesome. So holler at your boy, please. Like, really, please.

Okay, maybe. We'll really, please. Okay. Maybe. We'll see. Okay. Okay. I'll be edging. Your lawn? Yeah.

And blowing leaves. You're a pervert. So really no plans. Going to try to do something golf-related maybe Friday. Thinking about trying to maybe play a nine or something. I don't know. We'll check the weather, check the forecast. Still waiting for that cool air to come back, right? It looks beautiful.

Does it? Yeah. Great. Maybe I'll get some schwaps. Saturday. Saturday. It's going to be the day. You can watch some college football. For the boys. Unless it's your anniversary. Congratulations. We going to our dinner? Where you going? I would argue it's still for the boys, but you's your anniversary. Congratulations.

We going to our dinner? Where are you going? I would argue it's still for the boys, but you can do what you want. I don't want to – you could probably guess, Will. It's a place I think you've been, and I think we actually just talked about it. Okay. Randy. You know what I'm talking about.

Hey, buddy. They've got a very cool ambiance. Okay. Very cool bar. I got you. I got you. I got you. Sunday, be watching football, man. Just, oh, sorry, Randy is a.

Hey, big guy. He's woken up. Hey, big guy. He's looking for the pets. Hey, big fella. Yeah, man. I think he likes you, Dylan. The head on this dog is just really impressive.

It's a big head. Great coat, too. Whatever you're using is nice. What is Dylan doing over here just derailing right now? Like he's never seen a dog before. I have one of these at home. You have literally a little Randy. I have a little version at home.

Going to say hi to Will now. So, yeah, man. We got a nice little weekend. Sunday's going to be fun. Cowboys-Falcons. Game two of the Mike McCarthy era. Cool. Are y'all able to play golf Friday if we were able to get a late tee time or early?

I'm available Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Okay. Because I'm going to twitch golf here maybe a little bit earlier than normal. Maybe I'll see you up here during that. Okay. Just stand by. Dylan, I'll make sure. We'll do it in person here during that. Okay. Just stand by. Dylan, I'll make sure. We'll do it in person

when we book it. I'm going to plan my next couple days accordingly so that I can prepare myself to try to be available for that. Let's put it that way. Okay. I don't have much this weekend. I got a big Saturday morning planned. Dylan, your team, my team, Manchester United, they're kicking off the season on Saturday morning.

Should be lit with the lads. Oh, yeah. I don't really plan on watching much college football unless I somehow get roped into going somewhere with Dylan and drinking a beer with him or something. I'll do that. You know what? I'll go drink a beer somewhere. Hanging out with me is getting roped in?

Like, you don't just want to do it, like, willingly? Stop saying rope. You said it. You've been overusing it today. Who does West Ham have? Not sure. Who does Tottenham have? I don't know.

I don't have the whole thing memorized. Well, what's the fucking schedule? Can we please get beers somewhere? Maybe. For real. Maybe. I do have bad news regarding Sunday. You know what Sunday is?

The day of rest? Cleaning out the closet. Eminem? Wow. Okay. Yep. Sally and I have a messy closet right now and it's gotten too far so I'm putting my foot down.

Sunday we're cleaning it out. I could stand it to donate like probably 60 shirts. I plan on doing that. I feel like I did this like two months ago and then my closet just looks the exact same as it did when I cleaned it out two months ago. So I'm really looking forward to doing that. I might have a Vizzy or two while I'm doing it. maybe a Miller High Life since it's such a great working man beer. We'll see.

It truly is. We'll see. Outside of that, not much going on for your boy. Okay. Pretty slow. Okay. But don't text me. I'm available all weekend.

What's the bullet doing? Big weekend in H-Town for me. First on Friday morning. I can't play golf because I'm officially becoming a Texan. Don't want to get the driver's license. What? Yeah. Congratulations.

I scheduled the appointment in April, and this is the first availability they had in Cypress, Texas. So I will be over in these Houston suburbs. And then spending the weekend, it is Caroline's sister's birthday. So we're doing a little... Happy birthday to... To Samantha. Samantha. Happy birthday, Samantha.

Hey, remember when Caroline said that her parents were from Cyprus and I thought they were from the country? Ah. The island. Silly. I was like, wow, that's unique. That's pretty cool. Silly bitch.

Yeah, it turned out it's just Cyprus, Texas. Yep. So we will be doing some busies out there. Enjoying the Houston suburbs. Should be a nice weekend weather-wise. Probably eat too much food again like we did last weekend. And see you guys Sunday

night back here. I haven't seen Caroline in a minute. Tell her hello from the squad. I will. You should text her and see if she wants to do anything. She'll probably come through. Text Brett's girlfriend. Hey, Caroline. Hey, Caroline. Your friend Dylan here. Want to get a beer and watch the she wants to do anything. Yeah. She'll probably come through. Text Brett's girlfriend. Hey, Caroline. Hey, Caroline. It's your friend Dylan here. Want to get a beer and watch the boys? Let's link.

We got anything else, guys? Man. Packed week. That was a stacked epi. We had a lot going on. Sports talk just went up to us talking about famous dudes, and other stuff. Still haven't seen it.

I do have one piece of breaking news. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Brett's breaking news. I'm sorry, dude. It's not great. It was this week's topics are Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Consumer Electronics, and Austin Construction. The only one just – shout-outs to the –

there were 22 injured after a crane collision near Delb Children's Medical Center. How do you have 22 people injured in a crane crash? I don't know. That's in Austin. Yeah. Something fell, right? You have to think something fell over.

Yeah. Because if you're knocking cranes together, I don't think it's going to create much of a... Knocking cranes. Another weekend for Dylan. Dave used to do that. Come on. You guys race to the same joke.

That's funny. We're flirting with five, sub-five speed. What's the Fresh Prince news, Brent? You can now rent the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air mansion on Airbnb. I saw that. As someone who has not had their bachelor party yet. Dude, how sick would that be? Dude, we should move all the furniture out of the living room

and you recreate the final scene with Will. That would be a dream for me. That would do so much. Did you know everyone's doing that when they rent that place out? Yeah, they probably don't even have furniture in there because they're like, we know you're just going to move. They just put the furniture on slides so you can easily move it around the room. To be honest, looking at pictures of the house right now, I don't even think that it's not the same place. They obviously didn't tape it in that house.

Really? Just the outside? Oh, really? I mean, it makes sense, but that's sad. I still want to stay there for my bachelor party, just FYI. And the last piece of news. Dylan, do you remember Gateway Computers? Of course I do.

Oh, they're back. Gateway is back. Gateway is back. The little, like, the mo back The little like the moose Or not the moose The cow That's called a cow, Brett Welcome to Texas

I'm sorry They're selling a AMD Shouts to advanced micro devices With headquarters in upstate New York Powered budget laptops at Walmart Dude, I'm all in on Gateway I used to love those boxes Man, a little like marketing tip

Don't call it a budget laptop It just makes it sound like it barely works, like it's cheap as hell and it's going to break. Well, it is. It's $179. I get it. What kind of processing speed? It doesn't sound like you don't want it.

AMD A4 powered by an Intel Celeron processor, non-spawn. That comes from... They don't have the Pentium processor? No, not anymore. I don't know what happened to them. They got bought out, probably. I didn't know Gateway was a brand, honestly. I figured they were.

You're too young for that. I had a Gateway laptop. You just said you didn't know Gateway was a brand. What? I mean, still a brand. I didn't know what they were either. Actually, yeah, Micah told me that his dad had a Gateway, along with his AOL email address.

I definitely did. I had one. Oh, I begged my parents to get a Gateway at one point. Dude, you're getting a Dell. That's good. Hey, can you download America Online? Hey, well. Or Prodigy? Does it come with

Snood? What's Snood? Oh my God, dude. I'm about to start twitching Snood. Snood's all time. That sounds like a... It sounds like I should get a gateway and get caught looking at MrSkin.com. What's that guy do?

Isn't he the celebrity? He's a dermatologist, right? All the naked scenes from movies? That'd be DrSkin.com. I know, Will. I'm trying to do a stupid-ass joke. Just let me do my thing. Let's get out of here guys it's been fun bye