Circling Back - Nano-Chameleons & RIP Sway House

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

Call this episode a "baked potato" because it's loaded. North West's artistic masterpiece, nano-chameleons that are apparently stacked, a somber goodbye to Sway House, Smash or Pass: Pizza Chains, This Weekend in Fun, and Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:37) North West’s Painting (28:50) This Nano-Chameleon Is STACKED (34:30) RIP Sway House (40:20) Smash or Pass: Pizza Chains (53:00) This Weekend in Fun (1:03:00) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (STELLA20 for 20% off) Raycon: www.buyraycon.com/steam (15% off everything) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge to my left philip chivery man these intros catch me by surprise i'm used to waiting like either between a minute to like sometimes 45 minutes. So thank you. Very happy to be here. I feel great about this episode, actually. You said that on Monday as well, Dylan. I know. I don't know what it is, man. I just feel great about it. Should we pull back the curtain of what we're doing right now? Wait, what are we doing? It's a Tuesday afternoon. We're recording early, which is why this episode has hit your

feed early. Unfortunately, your boy has an appointment tomorrow, so we figured, you know what? Let's just knock this out on Tuesday. Yeah, unfortunately, you knocked out R&B Radio for the day. Yeah, R&B Radio, see ya.

You guys should just do it tomorrow. I think we are. If you've got time, let's do it tomorrow. You're out of here. Brett and Mary, man. Hey. Hey.

We got Brett. Now batting. Number two, Will DeFreeze. Number two. It's time capsule week. We're talking like this the entire episode. Yeah, we're coming to you on your radio airway. This is sounding like J-Bone after a while.

Yeah, everything always kind of leads back to J-Bone. That's true. Yeah. It just is what it is. How are you doing today, Brett? Good. Excited to be here. I'm a little hungry today.

I'm going to pull a Dylan from the Washed Media YouTube video we put up last night and say, I'm just a little hungry. I'm not going to let it affect me. I'm just throwing hungry today. I'm going to pull a Dylan from the Washed Media YouTube video we put up last night and say, I'm just a little hungry. I'm not going to let it affect me. I'm just throwing that out there. Well, just be glad that you didn't do what I did before coming to the studio. Sure. And I did the most reckless thing you can do when coming to the studio in Westlake, Texas.

I made a pit stop by Rudy's and got a breakfast taco. And it is causing turmoil in your boy's stomach. Man, that's a throwback. I haven't had one of those in a minute. Shouts to Rudy's. Gosh, the original Grand X office was next door to a Rudy's, and I'd walked over there all the time. They would take the leftover brisket for the day,

and the next morning they would make brisket tacos and put them out there with all the breakfast tacos. I don't know how safe it was. Probably fine, I'm sure. Totally fine. Yeah. Man, they were tasty. Can I be honest with you guys?

Moving down here, I thought Rudy's was a gas station. It is? It is. And didn't have any clue that they were also a barbecue situation. I thought it was kind of a Bucky's. I guess it is. It is a really good option for barbecue. Really?

Yeah, it's not bad at all. Dude, but people slander it because it's a gas station. It's a chain and it's a gas station. So you combine those two, it's like, oh, you're going to Rudy's, so you could be going to Franklin's. But it's a solid, solid option on the go. Dylan, I'm glad you said that. Yeah, I have no problem liking Rudy's.

No problem. Good. I'm glad you said that because I have no issue with Rudy's. If there's two things that every Texan has in their cupboard, it's just like a fuck ton of Yeti cups and like a couple Rudy's cups from their place. I used to go hard on Arnie Palmer's in there too. Fuck. Arnie P's, dude. They go so hard, especially with barbecue.

Man. We used to put vodka in our Arnie P's and think we were really tight. You were like, oh my God, we're drinking John Daly's right now. We're crazy. And then they came out with a hard Arnold Palmer at one point. And I was convinced that was going to take the world by storm. That was when my dad worked for a distributor back then. We did samples.

So like 2008 Brett. Maybe 2010. I was like 16. I was like, oh, these are the next wave. Turns out I was kind of right. Seltzer's got up there, but what? I just have a really gross joke that I want to give. Do you guys want me to just do it?

You want me to just do it? I heard the hard Arnold Palmers were a bit hazy. The hard Arnold Palmers were a bit hazy. Think about American Pie, maybe. They're disgusting. Thank you. What are you doing? Yeah. It's a free episode. I'm sorry, Mom. I about American Pie, maybe? They're disgusting. Thank you. What are you doing? Yeah.

It's a free episode. I'm sorry, Mom. I love you, Mom. Mom listens to this. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, dude. Dave's not here in the horny chair, so I had to come out with it.

It's okay to leave the horny chair vacant for a day, though. I know. I just miss Dave. This is the final free episode without Dave before he's back after his paternity leave. Ideally. Knock on wood. Hopefully he's okay. Did you guys discuss on Too Much Dip? I haven't listened to Too Much Dip

yet this week. Did you discuss your smoker situation, Dylan? Yeah. Okay, I'm just making sure. To be honest, I just wanted the people to know what happened. I had a big goof. How did you goof? I just bought the wrong shit to put in there. You know the wood chips that you put in a playground

for children? Yeah. And you bought those. Dylan's just trying to make bear chicken breasts with wood chips from a playground. It was cooking wood chips. They were like hickory. It was good shit. You were like breaking up kindling and putting in your Traeger. Dylan, trust me, I don't blame you. I had a Traeger

at my old house that my roommates bought and I lived at that house for probably a year and a half while that Traeger existed. I never used it once because I tried one time, and I fucked up, and I was like, yeah, I can't use this thing. I feel like a dumbass, even more so that I posted about it on Instagram. It's like, yeah, vibes, you know, I'm over here about to – it was just stupid.

I respect that you are forthcoming with your mistake. That's the best. You got to get out in front of it. You got to. If it was me, I would be lying through my teeth right now. I would have been Googling stock images of really good-looking briskets or something. I'd have been like, dude, my brisket turned out amazing. Crushed it.

Yeah. I probably would have just lied. What did you do with the meat? Did you find another way? No, so I didn't have any meat yet. So you have to prime it first. You have to get it ready for use, and that involves running some pellets through it. Yep, gotcha.

So I was just firing it up for the first time. So it's not like I had any meat go to waste or anything. Got it. You didn't just go microwave it instead? I put it in the toaster. Makes sense. Turned out really good. Yeah.

That makes sense, dude. Do you have a toaster oven? No. I like them. I do. I've out really good. Yeah. That makes sense, dude. Do you have a toaster oven? No. I like them. I do. Never owned one. I like them. I didn't know how much I liked one until, again, I used my old roommates, and I did

not realize how versatile toaster ovens are. Oh, I didn't realize how much I was using mine. I use it all the time. It's fantastic. The things can do anything. Yeah. Do I make tuna melts in there? Are you kidding me?

Yes. Yes. You ever do it on an English muffin? Tuna melt? No, I just go wheat. Sometimes I just take an English muffin, just toss the tuna on there, put a piece of cheese on there, toss it in there for a little bit. That's sick, dude.

It just comes out all crisped up. That's fucking sick. Ooh. Man. Maybe I'll get one. I hate having my toaster and the bagels don't fit from HEB. A lot of counter space, though, man. Yeah.

Takes up a lot of real estate. What if I take out my toaster? It's not one of those things that you just want to keep taking out and putting back. No, no, no. It's like four times the size of a toaster. Yeah. That's a problem. That's a problem.

Well, at least mine is. I'm sure they come smaller, too. They're all big. They're all big. They're all big boys. There's some nano toasters out there. They pack that thing. Boop.

Let's get some programming notes out of the way. First and foremost, go follow Circle and Back Pod on the Grom. And me on the group. And Wash Media while you're there. And everything else while we're there. Mail-in podcasts, Sunday Scaries. Too much dip. Everything.

Just go follow on the Grom. Also, leave a review and five-star rating. Tell a friend about this damn podcast. Word of mouth, people. It's the best way to spread. That's what they say. I don't know if we're doing what that of mouth, people. It's the best way to spread. That's what they say. I don't know if we're doing what that mouth do, Brad. I don't know if we're doing spread jokes in the middle of a pandemic.

That's the way to spread COVID, too. Word of mouth. All you super spreaders out there. What other announcements do we have? We released a new video yesterday. Shouts to Randy. YouTube.com slash washedmedia. We put a little preview up on the Instagram feed last. Oh, Randy. YouTube.com slash Washed Media. We put a little preview

up on the Instagram feed last night. But yeah, overall, I think you got to go check it out. I enjoyed it. It's pretty much just what's next for Washed

Media in 2021. A review of the last couple of years. It's just been good. It's been good. I think it did a good job of mixing some serious stuff with some

fun and easy banter. Dylan did get his tacos, which was big for the squad. Oh, man. The hanger was just taking over me. I got through it, though, thanks to the talks. We're doing talks.

We can move on. You should be a TikTok guy, but it's like TikTokos. Hey, Brett, I hate that idea, man. No offense. We'll holster that one. I really hate it. Do you guys want to hear some of the more recent reviews that we've had? Yeah. We have a decent amount of reviews. I'm very impressed

with you guys. This guy said, sincerely, not a 29-year-old 2009 grad, despite what... Awesome. I love these guys. Their chats and their chemistry is great. Dave, stop picking on Dylan. Oh, thank you. Who's this person? Finchnest. Finchnestest you are a real one for that

thank you you're about to go back on what you're saying about them they spelled your name d-y-l-a-n oh okay it could be worse my name is so easy to spell but it's spelled correctly oh i don't know 30 of the time i feel like in texas it's got to be spelled right more and like people outside of texas just have no clue. But the second I is what – I just don't – No, this was D-Y-L-I-O-N. I know, I know. But usually it's misspelled D-I-L-L-I-O-N, like it's Dillion. Do you say Dillion?

What are you doing? It literally makes no sense. It's so common. Do you want one of the nicer reviews we've ever gotten? Yeah. I'm not even kidding. There's no punchline to this. This is just one of the nicest reviews we've ever gotten? Yeah. I'm not even kidding. There's no punchline to this. This is just one of the nicest reviews.

I need someone to gas me up right now. It says, feels like home from ATM2127. I once tweeted about how as an extrovert, I sometimes get really lonely if no one is around to hang out with me when that happens. I put on circling back and I instantly feel like I'm in the best company. I wish I was exaggerating, but it's true. The pod is laid back, humorous, random, and all-around simplistic, yet divine entertainment. Put that in the deck!

Divine? Put that in the deck! Please sit forward to me, because I certainly can. No one's ever described this as divine before. And then the final one is just an equally good review. It's actually called Good Review. Five stars from 123MJH24. It says, the thing about good reviews is that they are reviews that are good.

It's not wrong. Works for us. Not wrong. Is there a roast? Give me a roast. There's no roast. There's got to be a bad one in there. Well, the next one just says Brett stinks, and then it's from Wade Cornelius,

and then the body of that review just says Brett stinks again. Yeah, yeah. Okay. No, I needed that. Shout out to Wade, man. Keeps it real. Dude, Wade Cornelius is holding no punches. Sorry, they had to go to the pull pen.

I was the only guy. I think you smell good, Brett. Yeah, you don't stink, man. Thank you. I think you smell damn good, actually. Also, go check out washedmedia.shop. Go shop the merch. We're flush with it right now.

Also, our Patreon schedule every single week. Bachelor on Tuesdays. R&B Radio is delayed until Wednesday this week. But overall, after this, go listen to R&B Radio. If you want to. You don't have to. You don't have to. You have to be optimized to do it, though.

You do have to be optimized. It's big if true. And then also voicemails. Fridays. We'll see you Friday. Leave a voicemail. 888-618-4422. I think he crushed it.

Nice. 888-618-4422. Check the bio to double check. Yeah, maybe just do that. You don't want to call some random people and leave a voicem he crushed it. Nice. 888-618-4422. Check the bio to double check. Yeah, maybe just do that. You don't want to call some random people and leave a voicemail. Yeah. Yeah. If you're a Spotify user, keep an eye out for some interesting features, too.

Yeah, Spotify is rolling out some real nice stuff. A little behind the scenes there. Brett and I are talking with the big boys over at Spotify. Let's go. We're not getting it quiet or anything. Not yet. No, we got some time before that happens. Not yet, sir.

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Yeah. Dylan quote tweeted it. Yeah. It's a Kim Kardashian Instagram story post. And it shows a painting done, allegedly, a painting done by her daughter North, Northwest. You heard about the name of this one? Northwest? I've heard of Northwest, yeah.

Yeah. It looks like a Bob Ross painting. I mean, if this was hanging in someone's house, it'd be like, oh, that's a really nice piece of artwork. It's a Bob Ross painting. That's exactly what it looks like a Bob Ross painting. I mean, if this was hanging in someone's house, it'd be like, oh, that's a really nice piece of artwork. It's a Bob Ross painting. That's exactly what it looks like. It's a Bob Ross, and it's incredible. And we're supposed to believe that her, by the way, North is seven years old,

that your seven-year-old daughter did this? Excuse me? So my son, Parks, he turns six in 10 days. So pretty relatively close to North Sage. She's got, you know, I think a year and a half on him. And at one point I saw this and I walked over to the fridge where I have several of his pieces hanging via magnet on my fridge. He brings stuff home from school to me all the time. Kid, he loves me.

He loves to bring me stuff. And it's usually like me, him, and Stella sitting there with like some hearts and stuff. And I'll just say it doesn't look like North's painting. What? So he's not doing like depth and fog coming off of the cold lake that's covering up the base of the mountain? Reflections in the water. A couple people responded to my quote

tweet and said oh it's a paint by numbers no it's not it's not but even if it was that that doesn't explain like all the like the the shrubbery and the the snow and the fog like you said and the no it's not it's just not like color in the the blanks like the fill in the what am i trying to say here color within the lines it's not what's not what this is. I have painted before. Like I know how to do like the basic things. Like when I was younger, I liked to draw and paint and stuff. Paint and stuff. My parents got me like a mentorship kind of thing when I was in middle school.

So how old were you in middle school? 12 to 14. There's no way to know. No way to know. And so like I'm not saying I was super, super talented or anything, but I had the tools at my disposal in order to be a good artist. There is no way that I could have ever kicked out anything that looked remotely like this. Who's she trying to kid by posting this?

Like, what? Was there a professional artist that was guiding North's hand throughout the entire painting? Like, what's going on here? This might be worse than the people that do the fake tweets about, like, what their kids say. Yeah. Like, Dad, do you think Bitcoin's – like, does Parks ask you, like, is Bitcoin going up because Elon bought a bunch? Like, no. It's not happening.

I just don't – I don't know what's going – who's she trying to fool here? And then, like, the little North signature in the corner. I'm sorry. North can't even do the smiley face on there. You think she's drawing this mountain? Yeah, this beautiful scene. If you do a sip and paint or paint and sip, whatever it's called, Brett, bachelorette parties do it all the time.

This is better than what you would kick out. A hundred percent, Will. Not even close to a thousand percent better. And that they walk you through the entire process, right? Yes. At those things? Yes. I need Dave.

This is like ripe for Dave, like just tweeting out something that Rhodes drew yesterday and just putting out like a Norman Rockwell painting or something. Yeah. I'll do it as far as I like. I want this painted. I don't want it to be by North but i'll take this in my my bathroom if this is actually done by north then they need to frame this and put it somewhere because it's probably worth millions of dollars because she's the future of art yeah i need to see her follow-up piece honestly she has a gift don't get me wrong like

she has the the most she has got one of the most creative parents you could possibly have in kanye west one of yeah i i thought you were saying like they're both super creative because one of the most creative parents you could possibly have in Kanye West. One of, yeah. I thought you were saying they're both super creative because one of them is. The other one is Kim Kardashian. She's got a good comeback story, though. Is she creative? Am I wrong in saying that? I don't know if she's creative in the typical sense of creativity, but she's somehow, she's creative enough to turn nothingness

into the peak of fame. Let's just say she's not famous because of her creativity. She's not, she's not, she's not creative in the sense that she's getting an A in art class.

Right. Let's put it that way. Yeah. I would like to see a painting by Kim Kardashian. I want to see, I need to see like a hyperlapse

or whatever they're called of North painting this in order to actually believe that she did it. I'm going to have to roast the homie in order to get a funny post off, but I'm going to do it. I'm just going to – I'm going to have to compare the two. Like this is what an actual child is capable of. How old is he now? Six? He'll be six in ten days.

Do you think he's going to take giant leaps and bounds in his artwork between six and seven? I don't know. Not like this, no. He didn't have the fine motor skills yet. I mean, it's funny watching him do stuff. You don't develop that stuff until you're older. Kim's like, don't. Kim's a couple days away from posting a screenshot of Call of Duty being like, oh, look, Northy got 149 kills.

Like, shut up. No, she didn't. North was performing surgeries already. Yeah. What are you doing? No, it's just not happening. North did not do this painting. I didn't know we were dragging seven-year-olds today,

but here we are. I mean, she made us. We have to talk about it. How many days do you have to wait when Parks brings home an art project before you throw it away? Or do you save it all somewhere? What's the protocol there?

Oh, my gosh. Okay. There's a lot of stuff, right? They have art class all the time. He likes to even just color at home. Yeah, who doesn't? He's a big-time artist. Coloring at home is chill as fuck.

He loves to color, loves to draw stuff. I have a cupboard, basically, that's just full of just crap. And I say crap endearingly. It's just full of just crap. And I say crap like endearingly. It's just – it's like not good. But he made it for me. He brought it to me. So I'm not going to throw it away.

I just have stacks and stacks of paper with his little doodles on it. I love it because he made it and he brought it to me. But if this was hanging at like a legit art museum, I'd be like, oh, it's a nice fucking piece. I wouldn't be like, that's the best painting here, but I'd be like, you know, that's pretty good. It fits. Yeah, I would put that in my bathroom or something. Yeah, those are some lilies there. It's kind of tight.

And this seven-year-old just flat out didn't do it. She could barely write her name. I've been digging a little bit over here. Okay. Got some evidence yeah so it sounds like this painting or this this what is going on here has been done before um this is the uh somebody posted somebody else's famous another famous person's daughter with a very similar very very similar painting and said this is a daughter of a friend slash colleague of kim i believe they're using the same oil painting tutor for their kids and it sounds like okay it sounds like um these are carefully guided

art techniques so like north is helping describe what to put on the paper. But they're very similar. And then somebody responded with a TikTok of them at like six years old with a framed painting behind them saying that, yeah, this is like a guided, like literally to the T, a guided lesson. Okay. But is North the one doing like the paint strokes herself? No evidence here. Right. That's where the rubber meets the road, if you will. But the three paintings that I've seen are literally the same. They're the exact same thing.

They're the exact same thing. So I guess it is, quote, paint by numbers, and I guess it is impressive for a seven-year-old to be able to do this. But, like, I'm still not sold that North did this all on her own. No, no, no, no, no, no. I am also not sold that these other kids did it all on their own. Like, all I see is a photo of this girl. There's another girl with the exact same painting, and she's got, like, a blue ribbon next to her.

At seven years old, I was the kid that walked into school. I know you guys talked about dioramas recently on R&B radio. We did. I was the kid that walked into school with the dopest diorama because my dad did 100% of that motherfucker. I was not putting together little things and using a glue gun or anything like that. The teachers knew that there was no possible way that I made this Pueblo Indian scene. I wasn't doing that. like this like Pueblo Indian scene.

Like I wasn't doing that. Yeah, if you told me exactly what to do, like a blank canvas, like where to, you know, I still couldn't even come close to this. And I'm a grown ass man. I'm a man. You know what I mean?

Please. Sorry, North. Yeah, North, get out of here. Kanye, if you're listening and you want to defend your child, you're welcome to come and do that on this podcast before Dave gets back. But once Dave gets back, that seat is full. Wow. We're not going to bump anybody for Kanye?

I'm, like, on Kim Kardashian's, like, Instagram right now because I was looking for the thing, which is now not on there. And, like, I feel like her bikini photos hit different now that she's not with Kanye because it's like, oh, she's putting it out there. Getting a little thirst trap. Oh, yeah. They split. She's doing like Cavallari thirst traps. Why were they together recently?

Kristen and Jay? Yeah. Were they just like with their kids and stuff? They're getting back together, right? Are they getting back together? I don't know. I think they like to, I think they're good friends. I'll put it that way.

That makes me happy. I thought they had a Super Bowl party. Okay. That makes me happy. Yeah. they had a Super Bowl party. Okay. That makes me happy. Yeah. They got kids, right? The three. Kim's back on the market.

You going to DM her? I'm not going to. No. You drop this queen? I don't. I have no interest in Kim Kardashian. Could you just date her long enough that she could maybe do a swipe up? That's all we need.

Her 204 million followers. I feel like the trickle down from that might help us a little bit. The power in just one swipe up? That's all we need. Her 204 million followers, I feel like the trickle down from that might help us a little bit. The power in just one swipe up she has. It's insane. How let down would everybody be once they swiped up? Who's this kid? We could do a circling back Skims collabo for all the kings out there.

I was thinking there might be credence to just buying one Instagram post, like taking out some money and putting one $250,000 post up. It would work. Just one. Would it though? I don't know if it would because we always – remember what Dan did? Not on Kim Kardashian. You got to find an audience that looks like – But like one of those versus like 30 of something else.

Which celeb would we target? Which celeb's audience would we target? McConaughey? Does he have enough pure just numbies though? No. He doesn't touch the Kardashian clan. I'm going to have to think about this one. If we had one post, whose audience would fit the best?

I don't know. Harrison doesn't have numbers, right? No, not enough numbers. Just strictly, like, stratospheric numbers. Kylie Jenner's got 214. Can we pull back the curtain? Can I tell a Grand X story real quick? Sure.

We had a contest at Grand X one time, and it was whoever drove the most clicks to uh a certain t-shirt that we were selling i don't remember what t-shirt it was it wasn't anything crazy but whoever drove the most clicks to the site got a reward that day like 100 bucks or something and so all of the things all the links had our name in it so it'd be like you know the source code for dylan me, Dan, Dave, everybody. Well, Dan got just completely skeezy with it and hit up Mia Khalifa and had her put up a story of her wearing the shirt and swipe up. And he pretty much broke the Google Analytics because of it, but it sold like two shirts because everybody was like, oh, I wasn't swiping up to buy a shirt.

I was swiping up to see photos of Mia Khalifa. Right. So not only did Dan forfeit the contest because the head of media, Joe, made him, but Dan also just screwed up the Google Analytics for the company for like the next calendar year because everything was an outlier at that point compared to the Mia Khalifa spike of like a million hits. And she was just, she's a nice person. Yeah, she was being kind.

Yeah, whatever. Probably not even realizing that what she was doing was probably worth like 10 grand if she had like a million hits. And she was just, she's a nice person. Yeah, she was being kind. Yeah, whatever. Probably not even realizing what she was doing was probably worth like 10 grand if she had such a massive following. She was down with us back then. Yeah, yeah. She might be now.

Who knows? Allegedly the most followed accounts. Instagram being the most followed account is ridiculous. 386 million followers for the Instagram account? Oh, that's soft. That's inflated.

Cristiano's got the most, right? Ronaldo? 261. And then after that. Katy Perry's up there. Katy Perry's high. Selena Gomez is quite high. Selena's way up there.

Biebs, of course. Katy Perry is 20th right now. She's had a slip then. She was number one on Twitter for a while. I was going to say, Twitter, she had the biggest following for a very long time. I don't know if that's still true. Your boy Ariana, or your girl Ariana Grande, number three behind Ronaldo right now. Who's number two?

Cristiano. Oh, behind Instagram. Katy Perry has 109.4 on Twitter. That's insane. Yeah, that's crazy. I think Barack Obama's up there, too, on Twitter. He's at 135. Yeah, he's doing numbers. But going back to the question, I think Barack Obama's up there too on Twitter. He's got like 135. Yeah, he's doing numbers.

But going back to the question, I think The Rock. Was his audience, would that be enough of a... Maybe. Are people swiping up on The Rock these days though? He's got 216. Are they swiping up on The Rock? God. So Obama has two accounts.

One of them is just at Barack Obama, and the other one is like his old POTUS one. Yeah, it's just POTUS44, which he doesn't even use, and it has 14.5 million. It hasn't tweeted since 2017. Why don't we DM him and see if we can have POTUS Obama? Can we have that account, Barry? Just sit in there. Yeah, give it to us, dude. January 2017 is the last time he tweeted from it.

It's got 321,000. Greg, get in contact with him is the last time he tweeted from it. It's got $321,000. Get in contact with him and see if he can hook that up. You've got to think. There's just a real quick little handle switch. I don't even care if we have to check. No, we don't need to check at that point. And then go to... It has so much value, and it's just sitting there.

That's crazy. Man, the top 50 here is... Who's someone that catches your eye on that list that's just like, why do you have so many followers? I feel like there's a bunch of Disney stars turned like adult stars that haven't... Vin Diesel?

Vin Diesel's doing numbies? Has 68 million followers? What? I mean, I know his movies are quite popular, but I don't see myself like... I will go out and seek out a Fast and Furious movie every once in a while, but I'm not seeking out like double tapping Vin Diesel's photos. More or less, right, the list, the top 50 most popular people in the world. I guess besides there's politicians and stuff that might be more popular.

But like... Yeah, but they have zero clout, dude. Social following is... Shawn Mendes? Shawn Mendes? popular but like yeah but they have zero clout dude social following is is sean mendez i get maybe maybe sean mendez is sneaky god like stands yo yeah he's big time uh nasa is up there good for them that makes sense shouts to rockets national geographic is uh 11th see that's a good one though they actually put out like cool shit yeah yeah that's like that's a valuable account that actually like it has cool stuff on it.

Other than that, you're looking at a pretty good list. I mean, actually, if you want to talk National Geographic, do you want to get into a little animal chatter for the boys right now? You guys ever heard of a nano chameleon? No, but I'm very intrigued. It seems like it's a small chameleon. Dude, it's a chameleon that's small. It's nano.

It's the size, according to this picture, about the size of a fingernail. Well, apparently he packs that thang too. He's hung? I mean, this is a headline that I... This is one of those headlines that just lights up your eyes when you see it. Nano chameleon with unusually large male genitals. Maybe the world's smallest reptile.

So it's just... This thing's just all dick, basically. Or balls. Or balls. I don't know. That's a little fella, man. Is that little bump behind his hind legs, is that his thing? That might be a female. That a thing. She's going to keep that thing on her. It's true. That'd be tough

if Randy, to pull up a pic, he pulled up a female. I don't know what this says about me, but I really want to see a picture of this thing's dick. Yes. Not to sound weird, but like, if there's a picture of this nano-chameleon's wiener out there, I would like to see it. It says two individuals of the species called Brookesia nana for its nano size were discovered in a degraded rainforest in Madagascar in 2012. The male measured 21.6 millimeters from snout to tail, a shade longer than the width of an Australian five-cent coin. I've never been to Australia, nor have I held one of their coins,

so I'm not really sure. That's probably called something really cool, though, like a Bambi or something. Who has the rupees? India. I always thought rupee was a cool name for money. Wasn't that in Spyro? I feel like it was in Zelda.

You got rupees in Zelda. Randy's over here like, oh! I immediately looked at Randy, and Randy was just violently nodding his head yes. But it said, and the female was significantly larger, measuring 28.9 end-to-end. And then unveiling in their scientific reports last week, researchers wrote that individuals may belong to the world's smallest reptile species. Well, apparently, they also have giant thangs.

Okay. I'm reading here. Okay. I'm reading here. So the hemipenes are a pair of penis-like reproductive organs found in male snakes and lizards. And this one's hemipenes are almost 20% as long as its body. Okay. So if it were to scale, I mean, you can do the math on however tall you are, but he's packing. He's packing major heat. 20% of 72 is 14 inches. So if yours were to scale, you're packing 14 inches. Well, I have an announcement to make on this podcast.

I am not to scale. You're not there? Yeah, my hemipenes is not the same scale as a nano chameleon, unfortunately. Does this thing just strut around like on the forest floor just like, yeah, what up? Check it out. Walk into the place. It's so tiny, though. Nobody's going to see him being like, what up?

It sucks that he's so I got a big yeah it sucks that he he's so small himself so although his his hemipene is massive he's gonna get stepped it's still small it's massive to him like you know to scale you know you know what no I don't know what you're saying Dylan it's still tiny it's still a tiny hemipene yeah but to him it's he's very proud of it you know what I mean so do you think like so other lizards probably aren't scared of him It's still a tiny hemipene. Yeah. But to him, he's very proud of it. You know what I mean? So do you think like – so other lizards probably aren't scared of him. No, he's a little fellow.

No, he can't even see him. Do you think he has the respect of like flies or like mosquitoes and things like that? Like he walks up to those – Because of his dick or because of him himself? Well, it's like you don't want to get eaten by like the nano chameleon with the big schlong on him. You want to be – you'd rather get eaten by like the the nano chameleon with the big schlong on him you want to be you'd rather get eaten by like the big one like you don't want to get eaten by like a little tiny dinosaur you'd rather get eaten by a t-rex right well yeah what's like the small dinosaur the velociraptor no they're not i mean they're not small they get a lot smaller they get a lot

smaller than that like but that a small one smaller than a velociraptor couldn't take you out but like imagine if you got like the size of a horse man yeah but like what you're gonna get taken out by the little chicken one well no so you'd want it exactly that's that's kind of the point here i think but if you were like uh like i don't want you to die but say that if you died i would rather have you get eaten by a shark than like a striped bass. I want to get – if I get taken out by an animal, I want it to be a tiger. That's a dope story. Like you hear Dylan like – you hear what happened to him, right? Like a tiger got him.

He's dead. Like, oh, my God. Tell me the story, and it's dope. Like it's awesome. That's actually not a bad call. I was going to say shark, but shark would be tough because – Oh, that sounds painful. It's going to be a tough death, but once you're gone, it's dope. Like, it's awesome. That's actually not a bad call. I was going to say shark, but shark would be tough because... Oh, that sounds painful.

It's going to be a tough death, but once you're gone, it's like, whatever. But if you get eaten by a shark, then, like, all your relatives for the rest of their lives are not going in the ocean. Yeah.

You know what I mean? If you get eaten by a tiger, then, like, your relatives for the rest of their lives are, like, just not going to, like, big cat parks. They just have a dope story to tell about Dylan,

their uncle, who got got by a tiger. I'm surprised you don't think you can just take on a tiger, to be honest with you. Question about chameleons. Are they the ones with the tongues that shoot out? Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, chameleon. I prefer not to. Do they have like the...

Yeah, they got tongues, dude. Are you kidding me? So this dude's got a good piece and a good tongue? Yeah, he's all tongue, dude. All tongue and dick. That's what they are. This dude is like the... me? So this dude's got a good piece and a good tongue? Yeah, he's all tongue, dude. All tongue and dick. That's what they are. This dude is like the... Stop writing shit down.

You don't want to see... Yeah, you do not want to come across him on a dating app. He's dangerous. Yeah, I just keep moving. Imagine him swiping with those little tiny things on there. Oh, the little deco gloves? Yeah. Bloop.

You got to think he's sending dick pics real fast. He's like, this is what I'm working with. Like, what's up? Can you imagine this little nano chameleon trying to position himself in the mirror? He probably holds it with his tongue. Yeah, he goes to Sway House. Did that be sweet? But it's all the way to the floor.

Oh, fuck. Rest in peace, Sway House. What happened? You haven't heard about that? They broke up? Damn, we should have had this on the rundown, actually. Yeah, apparently Sway House is no more. Really?

What happened? Yeah, Cat Pass sent us... Oh, I did see. Okay, we're just making a quick edit to the rundown. 34... 30, we'll say. Okay. Sway House, gone! Why'd they call it quits? I need to know what happened, Will.

Did they hear the footsteps of, uh... What's ours called again? Schwab House? They heard of Footsteps? This is an all-time, kind of sneaky, hilarious headline from people. I feel like they're just throwing shade at it. It says, TikTok's Sway House is officially over, but its message will never die, in quotes. Come on.

That's beautiful. Oh, my God. Yeah, the creative collective included Josh Richards, Griffin Johnson, Bryce Hall, Jaden Hossler, Noah Beck, Anthony Reeves, Keo Sir, and Quentin Griggs. Is this like a One Direction thing where they figure out they could be more successful solo than together? They probably just got tired of being shirtless around each other. Is there a Harry Styles in the group that's like, guys, y'all hold me back.

I got to go do my thing. They made it a year. Their lease was probably up. They probably got tired of like eating fucking Easy Mac and shit. They probably got tired of living in a house

with like four other just like shirtless douchebags who were just, you know, you know how they do their shit. The Sway House founder, Michael Grunstedt, if you view Sway as a, Michael Gruen, said,

if you view Sway as a content collective that lives together and is with each other every other day, then yes, it's over. But Sway was always about a bigger message that will never die. Wow. Oh, my God. You're taking yourself a little seriously there, pal. He also added that the group set out to, quote, shatter the preconceived notions of what it means to be a social media star, a mission they believe they accomplished.

I don't think you did, guys. Dude, all these kids' individual brands are so massive it makes me sick. Just some of the photos of these little fucks. Oh, they're talking about cringe. They all wear the exact same outfit. And they have the same hair. Same shoes. And they bite their lips for the camera.

And they have the same hair. Same shoes. And they bite their lips for the camera. Are they, like, posting, like, are these guys just posting, like, eulogies for the Sway House? Wouldn't know, Will, because I don't even know what platform I would get a eulogy from them on. I mean, let's just see what Griffin Johnson has to say about it. Isn't he the elder statesman, though? He might be. He might be.

Oh, my gosh crazy to think a year ago we were living on couches in la and doing tiktok live streams just to eat now you're a star rock star most importantly my brother for life cheers to 20 years of life and everything the future has in store for you love you forever kid kid my god they're talking like it i i don't think that the sentence that I just read got enough credit. They're talking like they're all going off to war or something. Crazy to think that a year ago we were living on couches in L.A. and doing TikTok live streams just to eat. Oh, my God.

It's like, dude, I'm starving right now. We've got to go live. Let's get a talk off. Get paid. I've got to eat right now. Oh, my God. How often do these guys take out the trash? Monthly?

They don't. They absolutely don't. Didn't they say, like, is there an article? They definitely never set it up with the city, and they would just dump it in the neighbor's trash. Oh, my God. No, who's playing the, I guess they have the house manager or whatever, like the douchebag 30-something-year-old guy that's in control. The guy that was talking to you said that, yeah. God, there's so many little high school fucks at the gym

who have this hairstyle right now, and it's infuriating. They're so annoying. They're so annoying, and they have the nut-hugger shorts on just like this, too. I can't stand it. You know, guys, your internet bill is a little high this month. Maybe take it easy on the touch. These guys have no swag, dude. They think they do. All I'm thinking, Dylan,

is there's an opening for you at Sway House now. There he is. God. The upside-down middle finger. It's a lot. Think they had any nano-chameleons in the backyard there? Just watched them work out all the time? I don't know how this one guy made it into the squad.

Like, no offense to him, but he doesn't really fit the bill. There's just some... I just hate all of them. If this guy's... What? What? How does it... What, Dylan? Okay, Love Anthony. L-U-V Anthony is his handle on Instagram.

Has 4.9 million followers. Somehow made it into this squad, and he's just like, I don't want to be mean. That's kind of how we feel about you, though. I don't want to be mean. That's kind of how we feel about you, dog. But he's not exactly the best-looking guy in the house. He's the me of the group. He's good at taking portrait mode photos.

I don't get it, man. At all. It was so insulting when I first started dating Sally because they knew that I was decent at taking photos. I would get omitted from the photos with group pics because I'd be the one taking it. And I was like, yeah, can we get someone else in the mix so maybe I can have some memories? Did you let me down recently? I tried, dude. I tried.

No, you didn't. I mean, can I expose you for what you did dylan really wanted me to get a gram off of him the other day i'm starving for a gram dylan's like dude it's he's like dude it's fucking my best golden hour right now my best chance of getting a gram is when i'm with you the issue with the the issue with that day dylan is that it was just you and i sitting at the table so it would have looked like we were doing a photo shoot the day that i took like dope photos of dave there were more people at the table. So if someone looked over, they'd be like, okay, those two guys are douchebags, but at least they're with girls and stuff.

You were embarrassed. No, I wasn't embarrassed. She's your boy. I couldn't just stand back from the table and have you doing a glamour shoot. Oh, man. You let me down, man. Whatever. You guys want to play a quick game of smash or pass?

What are we smashing or passing on? Pizza chains. Whoa. Yeah. There's been a lot of talk about pizzas lately. There's always a lot of talk about pizza chains here. We just need to get down to the bottom of it, and we're doing it with our new segment, smash or pass.

I thought you were going to say your new Austin Detroit-style pizza influencer. That's true. I mean, we really have the premier person for this right now. You're not wrong. I don't think there's only one of these places that has full-time Detroit style pizza on here, but I think we're going to go through eight of these. Okay. Okay?

It is National Pizza Day, by the way. I want to be clear. But today's Tuesday, so tomorrow is... Oh, okay. Yeah. Yesterday. That's okay. We're recording on Tuesday.

We don't need to worry about that. Sure. All right, hit us. Dude, time is just like a concept anyway. Time is a flat circle. I don't know what that means. Yeah, I never really understood that either. What does that mean, Brett?

It goes by so slowly, you know? I don't feel like it is. What's that have to do with flat circles? If time was a circle, wouldn't we live forever? Time is a flat circle. What does that mean? I've always been too embarrassed to ask what that means. I don't know.

Maybe a rewatch of season one of True Detective is in order. Randy, do you know? Randy didn't know either. Randy's not a big science guy. Yeah, but he's the make fun of us for not knowing stuff guy. That's why I look to him. That's Friedrich Nietzsche. Randy almost threw his

computer through the window of the studio when we were talking about color blindness on today's Batch episode. Like, dude can see color's fine. He's over here, like,

losing his shit. Calm down. Do you guys want to start with the big hitters? I feel like we're going to smash the big hitters. Okay. I can't wait to pass

on Papa John's. All right, number one, Pizza Hut. Smash. Smash. Easy to smash. What are you smashing the second you get there? You going breadsticks?

Do you like the breadsticks? I'll be honest. It's been a while since I've been there. I don't know. Probably just regular, like, deep dish. They do deep dish, right? They do a damn good deep dish. Come on, guys.

It's pan. Yeah, pan. Thank you, thank you. I'm just going to What do they call it there? Come on, guys. It's pan. Yeah, pan. Thank you. I'm just going to get pepper on you as an influence. No, no. It's okay. That's why we brought you in. Thank you.

Their breadies do hit big time, though. They're weird. They're like pieces of cardboard with very generic stuff, but they're so – when you crunch into one, they're just great. I over marinara sauce them, so obviously I'm smashing. Their marinara is is look at that little tombstone vibe to it too by the way really like the movie no no i'll be i'm gonna huckleberry how does tombstone not have a huckleberry pizza i feel like that would sell oh good call actually

delete this so good we'll approach them i know so. How did we not stream room that? I don't know. The OK Corral? Let's go. Fuck. She was popping, Brett. Val Kilmer. Never seen it. You stupid. There's going to be a backer that goes in and they're like, you know, Brett's had a

lot of really bad takes in the past, but I got to say, after today's episode, I might never listen again. He's never seen Tombstone. What? I did learn, though, on a YouTube video that the caricature of the American West, that kind of thing, all made up by Hollywood. Really didn't happen, as they say. Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

Put up your hat. What's the Western voice, though? I don't know. I feel like they're a little more gruff. This town ain't big enough for the both of us. Yeah. I thought you were going to do it. You took an inhale like you were about to do it.

You're always faking your deep voice anyway. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Domino, smash or pass? Hard smash. Smash is my second favorite pizza on the planet. Really? They had a big time glow up like, I don't know, 10 years ago.

They're like, you know what? Let's step this shit up. And they did. And it's really good pizza. It's really good. They used to be not good. Anybody else remember this? Yes, I do remember it, which is why I don't eat it now.

Because it wasn't good when I was growing up. And now I'm like, well, why would I trust it now? Domino's, you ride for Pizza Hut. I know this. Domino's would take your lead over Pizza Hut easily. And you would be— It really is good now. I don't know if it will.

It's their pan pizza specifically, though. I mentioned this in a tweet as a Detroit-style pizza influencer. I think I know what I'm talking about. Domino's pan pizza would obliterate your Pizza Hut pizza. I'm sorry. Wow. I'm sorry. I don't want to ruin your childhood like that, but it ruined mine. I think maybe you're afraid that Domino's is going to overtake Pizza Hut in your mind.

You have a soft spot for Pizza Hut. You're not wrong. And there's more in play here than just pizza. It's the Book It program. And I remember it too. Yeah. The Book It program was just, I can't speak highly enough about Book It. It's like when you get little kids hooked on cigarettes.

That got me hooked on Pizza Hut for the rest of my life. Yeah. Look at them. Fair. I'm trying to get parks on cigarettes now. Really? You probably don't bring one home one day. Really? Oh my life. Yeah. Look at them. Fair. I'm trying to get parks on cigarettes now. Really? You probably didn't bring one home

one day. Really? Yeah. I'm sprinkling little bits of nicotine in his cereal and stuff. Really? Yeah.

I'm going to ask him for a Lucy next time. What's up, King? With Domino's too, Domino's, like I said, there's more than pizza in play here.

It's that it's Sally's favorite fast food pizza or like quick pizza and I have talked enough shit about it to her that like if i go back on it she's always going to have that over my head and i can't have that i'm does she she doesn't do the pan though she does the normal the normal crust from domino's i don't even know

what she does because i don't know about the pan because it's in a black box it's sleek all i know is that sometimes when we get back from the air like when we're driving back from the austin airport and it's been like a travel day or something, Sally will get on her Apple Watch and order a pizza from her Apple Watch. Yeah. It's three clicks. It's bad. It's bad. Wow.

That's next level shit. Little Caesar. Pizza, pizza. That's pretty good. That's good. I've been doing it my entire life right now. Pass. You shouldn't pass on that.

Have you ever had their hot and ready $5? I have. It's hot and ready. I'm desperate for pizza. Yeah, I have. It's hot and ready. I'm desperate for pizza. Yeah, I have. It's been a long time. Those three to me are ones where if someone says they're passing on it, they're trying a little too hard.

The next ones in line, I think, now we're really going to get to the nitty-gritty of what's actually passable. See, I feel like Little Caesars belongs in this tier that you're about to mention. Papa John's. Hard pass. I can't stand Papa John's. It's a pass in one moment in time only. And that is the travel day, first night at a hotel if you're not going out with the squad, like a business trip.

And it's like 11 o'clock and you're in your hotel room and you need to order something. That's my Papa John's moment. So it's a pass for you. It's a pass. Overall. Like you're not hungover on a Sunday thinking like, oh, all right, I want some pizza.

Let's just hit up Papa John's. I have never had Papa John's with daylight. Does it scare you to talk shit about Papa John's given the fact that he said the day of reckoning was coming and then all of a sudden the entire world shut down? It already came. He got that out of the way okay did he ever continue his tours of his house no they were dope he might have on on the talk our next one i don't even know if you guys have heard of this because i hadn't heard of it until

i moved down here it's called papa murphy's this was on the list of the top 10 pizza chains in america that i that i looked up to get this list. Papa Murphy's. I don't know that one. Papa Murphy's is an interesting case. Okay. It's one of those places where you order what you want on the pizza, but then you bring the pizza home and you cook it yourself. Oh, I hate that.

Wait. Wait, what? Just give me the pizza. Wait, what? Just give me the pizza. Wait, what? You talk to Papa Murphy, and then Papa Murphy goes and he makes the pizza, and then you pick it up and it's wrapped in plastic.

Uncooked? Yeah, and then you bring it home and you cook it in your own oven. My oven sucks. That's trash. So they have one of these in Georgetown. Don't they have an oven? Just don't have an oven for me, dog. What are you doing? I mean, I don't know.

You're making the trip to the store anyway. Like, why don't they just get it picked up, cooked? Because if you're going to the store, you can't choose your toppings. If you go to the store, you have, what, a couple choices of pizzas? You have a supreme pizza, a pepperoni pizza, a cheese pizza. Then you've got to go home and you've got to wait 45 minutes to cook the damn thing? Heat the oven? I'm out.

No. Do you want to really pass on it? I haven't been able to eat... So they have one of these in Georgetown where Sally's family's from. And there aren't that many

pizza options in Georgetown. And there's especially no pizza options closer to us than our friend Papa Murphy. But in 2014, September of 2014. Is there a controversy? Yeah, slightly.

A Papa Murphy's employee was arrested for defiling a par-baked Canadian bacon pizza. I think I've heard this story. The act allegedly occurred right before closing time at a location in Georgetown, Texas. According to the warrant, the customer asked the teenage employee, so are you old enough to know better to put your balls on someone's pizza? And he replied, man, I'm really sorry. That was so stupid. He put his balls on the pizza

before giving it to them. And they saw him do it? I guess so. Oh my God. You could do that in the back room, don't you? This says, I'm not going to say his name because he's probably trying to scrub his name from the internet a little bit,

but it said that he was arrested by police last week after he was allegedly caught by a customer rubbing his scrotum on a pizza order according to the arrest warrant obtained by the austin american statesman the customer confronted the teen and had the exact exchange that i just said and he admitted to it i think he just got denied in that situation is there not like a cctv circuit running though like are you gonna see him pull his piece out? You just can't go balls to pizza. No one's doing that.

It was a Canadian bacon pizza with pineapple and extra cheese. Trash order, but like still you can't do that. That's the Georgetown location? Mm-hmm. Yikes. Mm-hmm. That's got to be one of the easier firings of all time. Like, hey, man, this isn't.

Yeah, I don't think you show up to that closed-door conversation. You're just like, yeah, I'm just going to see myself out, folks. Was he, did he get in trouble with the law? He got arrested. Yeah. So, yes. I don't know how it all panned out, but his bail seemed a bit excessive. Ten grand? I'm okay with it.

I've never been bailed out. How much is bail usually? That would have been in cuffs, man. I don't know. Never been in cuffs. Ooh. That would have been in cuffs. You're not like...

I'll tell you this. Not sexually and not... Okay, law enforcement. Either way. I'll tell you this. Your wrists hurt the next day. You might have some marks on them. Might have some scabs for the next week.

Tough. Your boy did. Wayne Rooney, right? Yeah, I wore long-sleeved shirts to class for the next week tough your boy did wayne rooney right yeah i wore long sleeve shirts to class for the rest of the rest of the week after that sure california pizza kitchen pass pass smashing baby i'll eat it but it's i'm not gonna go i'm not gonna look for it anywhere the one thing i loved as a kid was going to the mall for back to school shopping parking the car getting out mashing the california pizza kitchen button so that I wasn't hangry while we were shopping at the gap and other places.

And then to top it all off, we'd go to the other side of the mall, the classier side of the mall. They had like the high end designers mash that PF Chang's button for dinner. Stop mashing so many buttons, dude. Can't. If I'm going to mash up,

uh, like a mall stront, I'm going with, uh, I'm blanking on it. What is the big one with the big menu? Why can't I think of this? Fucking the... Cheesecake Factory.

Cheesecake Factory. I was waiting for you to get there. I got my stronts all messed up. It's a factory of cheesecake. That's right. That's right. Cece's. Chicken patate or something?

I've never had Cece's. Pass, dude. It's not good. Even the macaroni and cheese one? I've had that. Dude, we go to... I've never had CeCe's. Pass, dude. It's not good. Even the macaroni and cheese one? I've had that. Dude, I've taken Park's like three times and I don't eat.

I just let him eat. I just get one plate for the kid and I'll just sit there watching me because I just can't do it. Is it because Dave is always eating it with him and it just feels wrong?

Yeah. You can't infringe on that tradition with he and Dave. Yeah. Yeah, I don't eat it. Weak. Final one. I don't even need to ask this one. and Dave. Yeah. Yeah, I don't eat it. Weak. Final one.

I don't even need to ask this one. Jets. We're all smashing that shit. Oh, hard smash. We're all smashing that shit. I can't stop smashing. I'll admit I've never had it. Well, you're going to like it.

You would like it. I don't even need to tell. You're just going to enjoy it, Brett. I've heard it's Detroit stuff. Yeah, it's a bit heavier than Via. Interesting. But it's delicious. Okay. Actually, our final one. Lou Malnati. Nah. We're not bit heavier than Via. Interesting. It's delicious. Okay.

Actually, our final one, Lou Malnati. Nah. We're not going to go there. We're not going to go there. We're crazy. We're wild. It's fun to have fun. Come on.

Man, is it ready? Is it time to do this? Are we doing a pizza challenge, by the way? I would be down to be proven wrong that Domino's is better than Pizza Hut in this day and age. Let me be clear. Pan pizza specific here. I don't care about your opinions. People out there on the

subcategories of pizza, pan. Okay. The point being that Domino's pan pizza is going to blow your mind about how good it is. Okay. Okay. I will at least entertain the idea. Okay. Blindfolded, double-blind, tasteless.

I think I will know exactly which one's the Pizza Hut one is, though, and I think I'm going to know. We'll see. Keep an eye out. Ooh, it's time. Oh, welcome, y'all. Wash Media in the house. God, once the the telephone service. Let's go.

When the Texas sun comes just to rock you. This Weekend of Fun is presented to you by Roback, baby. Sell it 20 for 20% off of everything you need over there. Oh, yeah. I don't care if you need a golf polo, the most comfortable QZ that you ever want, even a hoodie. The hoodies are super dope. The hoodies are super dope. I love them.

They're like tech material, you know? So you can go crush it at the gym. Go for a yog. Or just wear it to... No one's doing yog, though. Or just go to the bar. I mean, whatever you want to do, dog. That t-shirt is...

It works on both a swing and a hotness journey. I will say that. Really? Yeah. I'm looking better and better in my t-shirts than Mark Peloton. Not going a hotness journey. I will say that. Really? Yeah. I'm looking better and better in my T-shirts than Mara Peloton. Not going to lie. Damn. I was never looking bad in them because they're pretty flattering, but like I'm looking real

good in them now. Put one on the other day to get a workout on and Sally was like, damn, you look pretty thin right now. I was like, yeah, thank you. That's good, Sal. Okay. Thank you, my queen. Are you doing any weights yet?

I know you thought about dabbling. I'm kind of a little too deep in a yoga journey right now, Brett, so I'm using body weight. Yeah, I'm putting up weight, body weight. You know what it is. Okay. Stella 20. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? I'll get mine out of the way pretty quickly here.

I will be going to the ranch. First time in a long time I'll be going to the ranch. Pretty excited. Get to see some family. I'll have parks with me Friday and Saturday. Can I have some really cold weather, especially out in the hill country. We're talking single digies out there. There he is. Single digies.

Jack Frost coming down here. Jack Frost nipping at your nose. You know how it is. Am I reading this right? Sunday it's going to get down to 23 degrees? Monday 20 degrees? Watch that wind chill though. It's going to be cold and breezy. I always watch the wind chill.

Oh, dude. Come on. Blowing smoke. Hopefully the roads are not icy. We might get some precip. They might be hella icy, dog. Might get some precip. Just take it easy when you're driving out there.

Roads may be icy. Trust me, dude. I'll keep it safe. I got very precious cargo in the back seat. Isn't the ranch on top of a giant hill? It is. The wind whips. So you're telling me that if it snows, we could possibly have a ski trip on our hands.

Whoa. Yeah. Let's set up a... Dude, you could take the homie sledding. Yeah, I could. You might need to buy a low-key... Can you even get a sled in Austin? Have you went and found one?

Do they sell them? Amazon, you get one. Randy's saying no. He's saying Intertube only. You need Amazon. Randy doesn? Do they sell them? Amazon, you get one. Randy's saying no. He's saying Intertube only. Oh, you get Amazon. Randy doesn't know anything. Dude, Amazon is slow. Yeah.

Okay. Anyway, that's what I'll be doing. You said you were hitting the slopes this weekend regardless, though. I did not say that, sir. And then Sunday I get back and I will not have parks. So my Sunday's open. And that's it, folks. Pebble Beach this week. AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. If you're looking for something to do on Sunday's open. And that's it, folks. Pebble Beach this week.

AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. If you're looking for something to do on Sunday. Sure. Do you want a statement from me regarding Pebble Beach Pro-Am? Sure. Favorite non-major of the year for me. Wow. Not sure why.

I think it's because I just have dreams of playing Pebble Beach, but I absolutely love watching tournaments at Pebble Beach. And I also like the par three contests they do with celebrities. Shots to Larry Fitzgerald, who I feel like is in every single one of those. He's definitely there. I think Tom Brady shows up. He's got better things to do, I think. He's still texting Tyron Matthew.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what's mine. I love the players. I mean, that's a lame answer, but. No, players are dope too. Sawgrass gets me going. The players is like the fifth major in my eyes, though. It's like the fam is trying to postpone what's mine. I love the players. I mean, that's a lame answer, but. No, players are dope, too. Sawgrass gets me going. The players is like the fifth major in my high zone.

It's like the fam is trying to postpone this weekend, the ranch, because of the weather. Like, as we speak? Yeah. So the ski trips canceled just like that? Just got the text. Oh, shit. We'll see about it. Up in the air.

What are you going to do when you just see me, like, in the distance just doing daffies off the jump that I built? Daffies? You don't even know what a daffy is? in the distance just doing daffies off the jump that I built? Daffies? You don't even know what a daffy is? No. It's a daffy. Dylan's never even heard of a daffy besides duck. I know daffy duck.

I'm going to show you with my fingers right now. So this isn't good radio, but it's when you go up in the air and then you... Oh. You put the legs... You do the legs back and forth. Those are sick. I put my legs back and forth. Can you do one?

Yeah, I can do a daffy. Come on, dog. Everybody can do legs back and forth. Can you do one? Yeah, I can do a Daffy. Come on, dog. Everybody can do a Daffy. Please, can you do a 360? Spread Eagle, too. I thought about trying a 360 when we were in Breck just to see if I had it, but then I was like, you know, I don't know if this is a good idea on a ski trip. I don't want to be the one that's holed up at the place with a shattered knee because I was trying to flex and do a 360. That isn't even going to look cool.

Yep. It would have been a bootleg 360. We're too old to try that shit, man. Especially me. No need. We got enough air. What's the B-man getting into this weekend? Well, doing something interesting. So this weekend is Valentine's Day, you would think, right? Oh, I hate Valentine's Day.

But I'm not doing anything... Forgot it was Valentine's Day. Fuck. Thank you for the reminder, Brett. Not doing anything with Forgot it was Valentine's Day. Fuck. Thank you for the reminder, Brett. Not doing anything with my SIG-UH because we are going to do Valentine's Day the weekend after. No one's doing a weekend after Valentine's Day. So the weekend of what's it? I'm looking at Randy's video calendar up there on our wall that you can't see. So the weekend of the 19th, I'm going to do Valentine's Day in Dallas. They were staying in Dallas.

Yeah. The Ole Miss Rebs are up there playing some exhibition games, or maybe not even exhibition games, at the new, what do they call it, the Big Grill. So I think I might catch a baseball game. I hate that I was about to ask this, but I was going to have to ask, what sport are you even talking about? I had no clue what was even in the mix right now.

Yeah. They're playing UT. So I think we might meander on over there with a certain intern of ours whose uncle happens to be the coach of UT. I have no clue who we're even talking about. Klein. Oh, Klein. Yeah.

Klein. I forgot about Klein. So we'll see if we can make something work over there. But we're going to do a Dallas Valentine's Day next week. So this weekend, all that being said, Oz is very, very open.

I hate that you're just delaying Valentine's Day. I feel like you should just scrap it. No one's doing that. Yeah, I mean, it's not going to be pomp and circumstance. It's going to be like dinner and chocolate. Brett, I do want to be crystal clear with you, though. You do know that you need to do something on Sunday. Of course. Okay, just making sure. I'm not going to be pomp and circumstance. It's going to be like dinner and chocolate. Brett, I do want to be crystal clear with you, though. You do know that you need to do something on Sunday. Of course. Okay, just making sure.

I'm not going to be sitting on Valentine's Day's tree. You're young, dumb, and full of rum. I needed to make sure that you were going to do something on Sunday. There will be something involved. We're not going to be together for it, but there will be something there. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I feel like you're still skeptical of this whole scenario. I just hate Valentine's Day. We talked about it this weekend. Brett, I had some pops this weekend, man. I had some frosty beers. Yeah. You're going to have some frosty beers next weekend too because it's going to be cold.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What are you up to? Nothing. Okay. We're just in moving mode at this point. So it's going to be a moving weekend for your boy. I think I might mount a TV without you, Dylan.

Fuck you. Unless you want to. That's so offensive. Well, not to steam during a different segment, but like, hey, Samsung, why are you delivering my TV to my apartment at three in the morning? Yeah. Packages get stolen all the time from this place. You can't be delivering a TV at 3 in the morning.

You know what? I hope that it falls off your wall. If you want to come help me, you're more than welcome to. But I have a question for you. Is this about the guy who made the viral video hanging off of his mount? No, it wasn't going to be. Can you hang off the mount? Yeah.

I haven't done it, but I could. Do you have a drill bit that can drill into something that's not just a wall? What do you mean? I might need some brick drilled into it. Yes, I have a brick drill bit. Kit Clementine. I have several brick drill bits. That's a mouthful.

I have several, yes. Several what? Brick drill bits. Brick drill bits. Brick drill bits. Brick drill bits. Brick drill bits. Brick drill bits. Unique New York. Oh, I got everything, dog.

Don't worry. Okay, then you might get the call then. I don't think I want it anymore. Got to hang the new TV in the new crib. Just go live when Dylan's doing it. Oh, for sure. Be like, oh, like Dude Perfect. That's a lot of pressure though.

I don't know if I want all that heat on me. Yeah, I don't know if it's a good look for me, like Dylan to be hanging my TV while I'm going live talking shit to him. And then all of a sudden Dylan gets tired of it. And he's like, oh, man, like, oops, sorry. Your fucking TV's shattered. Yeah, other than that, just I guess we're doing Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day, which I know is. Which is Sunday, right? I'll give you one guess where we're going.

Uchiko? No. Jeffries? No. We're just doing guess where we're going. Uchiko? No. Jeffries? No. We're just doing happy hour at June's. Oh, that's fun. Shots of Sally. June's is a great little spot.

Do I have to get her a gift? Like, do you get a gift for your wife on Valentine's Day? Just get a candle that you're both going to enjoy. You're talking to someone who doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day. Yeah, like, I feel like... Even when I was married, I didn't. Valentine's Day should be reserved only for people that aren't married. And it should be replaced with your anniversary. I'm like the gauntlet right now because I've got the I've got

Valentine's Day very a week later anniversary I feel like that's on you like it was it was going to be August you were you were all set and then you're like yeah let's do the Valentine's Day one but it could be the two birds one stone scenario I think I'm just going to throw down a credit card for dinner and then call it good and then get a gift for the – that's fair. What's a one-year anniversary gift? I don't know. Isn't it paper or something? Wood? Has it to do with paper?

I forgot what it is, but yeah, there are certain – I don't know. Paper? Is it like a note? Did you do the top tier of the wedding cake recreation? No, we... That's the thing. We didn't even... I did.

Actually, maybe we do have a piece of it. I had the top tier. I think I did. Top tier recreated. I feel like someone told us at the hotel. They were like, hey, we have it saved for you guys, but I don't think we ever did anything about it. Stayed in the hotel room that night.

I did confirm. The traditional first anniversary gift is considered to be paper. Just wrote her a note. Here's a piece of paper, Sally. I love you. Yeah, I think your boy might go off, though. I might get the bolognese. At June's?

Yeah. That shit slaps. Good for you. Maybe I'll get a rum drink. I can't picture. Where's June's? South Congress. How can you picture it?

I've taken a million pictures from there and posted them on my Instagram story, dog. I'm getting there. Grow up, right? It confuses me, all the women's first name restaurants. There's too many of them. There's a lot of them. Geraldine's? Justine's?

Irene's? Juliette's? Joanne's? Matt's El Rancho? Wilmon's? No. Wilmommy's. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's the one. Brett, you got any breaking news for us? Well, as a matter of fact, I do. Thank you for asking. A little choose your adventure here for the folks out there, and mostly just Dylan. Dylan, would you like to go single Austin men, French real estate, or sharks?

Is the first one about me or my competition? You have to choose your adventure first. I'll go single Austin men. Single Austin men, good choice. This one's not about Dylan, and the page just reloaded. men good choice this one's not about dylan and the page just reloaded a tinder analysis yielded a primer on single men in austin are you ready for some stats here dylan gosh i guess uh kingsman beard club recently analyzed more than 3 500 tinder profiles of men living in 31 of the largest american cities to learn more about the traits of single men around the country.

Okay. Only 3% of men in Austin were defined as a swipe left shit show. Okay. This term used by analysts not ours pointing to such negatives as not smiling, no body visible, dressed like shit, or using a terrible selfie. Mere selfie. Yeah. On the other side of the coin, Austin ranked sixth nationally for men who qualify as

the total package, with 21% of Austin men earning that accolade. That number's way too high. Randy's back there just loving it. Another positive finding here, 60% of Austin men smile in their main profile picture, which is fourth nationally. Austin's just happy, man. You smiling in your profile pic? Of course. And then they also said 52% of Austin men show their bodies in their profile, ranking fifth. Like shirtless?

It's got to be. I think it's mostly just meaning they're like, if you show just your face, it's lame. But if you show your entire person. Oh, OK. I stay covered. I've got to keep it classy on there. And they also. I don't pop top.

Man to man, friend to friend, you've got to pop top on your profile. Like, if you're me, like, I'm not popping top on my profile. Like, you should be popping top on your profile. Like, just make it the last pick. Dude, can you take a thirst trap for me soon? Mm-hmm. We'll do it in the snow this weekend during our ski trip at your ranch. Let's get thirsty.

They also, little hat tip to Will here and Dylan, Austin men ranked fourth nationally for the most facial hair. And they're also fourth in cities with beards per capita. Do they have the other numbers for who is, like, number one through whatever? I don't have those numbers. No, not on hand. We'll have to go to patch.com. Number one facial hair has got to be Seattle and Portland, right?

I'd say Portland, Seattle. Portland, Maine, too. It's got to be that. No way are 21% of the counts right swappable. It's way too high. Total package. You told me you swipe everything right and then you sort through the shit later. No, no, no.

Isn't that what you told me? I'm very stingy. Also, sneaky Austin news, Will. The Burn Band has been listed at Austin Parks. Let's go spark up. Oh, dude. Spark a Burn Band. You mentioned this beforehand, but a French developer is being

forced to demolish his nearly 70 million dollar mansion the scene here doesn't get tougher have you seen this dylan the what this the scene it's very tough uh this guy has to demolish his how much is it 70 million 70 million 32 000 square feet. Has to demolish it. Wait, why? Because he was skirting French developing rules. So they're making him tear the entire thing down. My God. Brutal.

I looked at photos. I heard about it and I was like, whatever. This guy probably has some shit place. The place looks awesome. Oh, that's... I want to cry. Got to worry about those building permits, Playboy. There's no way you can work it out with them?

You gotta... Pay like massive fines or something? You'd think like the property tax alone is like, hey dude, we're giving you some cash here. Why don't you just let the president of France stay there once in a while? You can just use this on a long weekend sometime.

That's really unfortunate. It's tough. It's in the southeastern region of Provence. That is a super mega tough scene. I have personally never built or had anything that's worth $70 million.

But if I did, I think the last thing I would want to do is to tear it down or make it go away. Right. That's just my personal take. Brutal.

He's been given until 2022 to demolish it and if he doesn't he'll face a fine of 600 per day worth it yeah piss all over that yeah and guess what that is being delivered in fucking pennies yeah absolutely that's yes take that fine going down take that fine he's a a developer that you can fucking afford a $70 million mansion. All right, $600 a day. I'm just doing quick math here. Say he wants it for 20 more years.

How much does he have to pay in total? Because I think this guy can afford it. $219,000 a year. He can afford this, right? It's not that bad. His property taxes have to be worse than that. Yeah. Oh, this guy's fine.

I hope this guy sets a French flag on fire every single day before he delivers his $600. I mean, it would be weird if he paid in American pennies. It would be funny because then they'd have to not only collect it, sort it, they'd also have to convert it to make use of it. He's fine. I mean, he's got to pay the fine every year, but that's the move, right? Absolutely. It takes over four years to hit one milli. You could Airbnb that thing and pay for all those days real quick.

I was going to say, this house is not going anywhere. It's been used as a TV set, rented out as a wedding venue, and a vacation house with rates between $300 and $1,000 a night. See, there you go. You're in the black. Did the president of France not get an invite to a gala held here or something? And they're like, tear that bitch down. Yeah. It sounds like-

600 bucks a day. Let's tear it down. This is a question for Will mostly. Unless Dylan's a real estate professional too, he might know. It's got helipads, a saltwater swimming pool, a bell tower, a greenhouse, 17 acres of gardens and vineyards and olive groves and lily ponds and also a medieval cloister.

What's a medieval cloister? Cloister? I can't say that. Cloister? C-L-O-I-S-T-E-R. Cloister? Cloister. I can't say that. Cloister? C-L-O-I-S-T-E-R. Cloister. No clue. What is a medieval cloister? I don't know why you would need one of these.

It's a covered walk, open gallery, or open arcade running along the walls of buildings and forming a quadrangle or garth. I don't even know what a garth is. Oh, it's like a Game of Thrones type of thing. It looks like it's just like you would build even know what a Garth is. Oh, it's like a Game of Thrones kind of thing. It's like a, it looks like it's just like you would build the house around a yard. Yes.

It's like the thing around the courtyard because people still wanted some fresh air when it was like raining and shit. Honestly, that sounds dope. Like this,

I'm looking at a cloister right now and like there's a giant ass tree inside of it so it's like the tree is like in the house. My boy to build a cloister at my crib.

I low-key fuck with cloisters. You kind of have one. A big cloister guy. Cloisties? Oh, that's ridiculous. What a story. That's a good one, Brett.

This last one is for Randy. I found it for him. It's Shark News. According to those at The Guardian, Will knows about The Guardian. The publication? The UK publication. The publication? The UK publication. Yeah, yeah. Because of record heating in the oceans, Dylan, sharks are moving north.

Let's go. Which is causing an extreme overpopulation of seals in the Monterey Bay region. So Jim Nance, he's getting some seal shit on his crib. Because the predators have moved on? The predators have to go to colder water. Right. So they're moving north towards the Portland. I'll fuck with seals.

Yeah. So more seals, sharks have to move north, and they're terrorizing the local salmon population. That's all I really got on it. It's just a big climate change thing. They move north an average of 600 kilometers between 2014 and 2020 just seems like a lot

when are they going to hit Austin? well that would be the other other direction oh okay imagine if there was just like Great Whites at Galveston is there?

I don't know the place where Sally's grandparents have a beach house in Florida or I guess it's just their house now because they live there. They have a house in Florida and there's a dude there that just fishes from the beach and takes out these giant ass sharks and it's solidified

that I'm never swimming there again. It also mentions that shark attacks are down 91% since 1950. Shark attacks are barely even a thing anymore. I think like only four people died last year from shark attacks. Is it because we're getting smarter or they just don't want humans anymore? What's up?

It feels like how many people were getting got in 1950? Unless it's just a small number to begin with. So it's like. Was that when like all the surfing stuff came out? Like is that when surfing really started taking off? That feels like the 60s. Endless summer and everything. Like swag surfing you mean?

I don't know. i don't know if people were swag surfing in 1950 mom if you're still listening and you didn't turn it off after that grotesque cum joke i made early on the episode then please let us know if people were swag surfing in your time those the weird ass swimsuits yeah those are coming back right let's go swim with the sharks. Give me your waders. Yeah. Watch me on the high dive. I'm going swag surfing today.

See? Ever seen a belly flop? Let's catch a party wave. I'm going to do a cannonball. Yeah. Surfing safari. You hear the beach boys do it again? Good vibration.

Yeah. I played it on my $300 record player that's sitting at home. Enjoy it. Oh, man. What are we doing? Let's talk it out of here. I'm going to go. Enjoy it. Oh, man. What are we doing? Let's talk it out of here. I'm going to go pick up the homie, man. Let's get out of here.

It's been a good day. It's been a good one, man. All right. Let's do it. I called it, too. I called the shot. You dip. You dip.

We went deep. Yep. I'm so hungry. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. you