Circling Back - Papa John Lied To Us All

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

Papa John is a fraud, Dave had to delete a tweet, the broom challenge stupidly took over Twitter again, a breakdown of New York Water, and one of The Homie's heroes has a regrettable past. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:19) Dave Deleted A Tweet (25:31) Papa John Is A Liar (34:36) Broom Challenge & New York Water (51:54) NSFW Harlem Shake (59:30) This Weekend In Fun Untuckit: www.untuckit.com (STEAM for 20% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com (CIRCLINGBACK for free 4-week trial) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will defries to my right dave ruff rest in peace yang gang it's over you know what take the blue hats out of your Twitter name. While it is over, some are saying it has just begun. I was kind of hoping he was going to get a VP nod at some point. I just want him in the mix. I feel like he's a pretty logical dude. I don't know.

I'm not saying he's president material, but I want him on the cabinet. This is the beginning, per Andrew Yang. I don't know if it is. It kind of feels like the end. It does feel like the end, but I could see him getting a high-level cabinet position. I'm going to DM him. Maybe like, I don't know, Minister of Fun or something? Ambassador of Fun?

I thought that was John Schnatter. It was Brett Hull, wasn't it? I believe that was a real thing. He was the Hull, wasn't it? I believe that was a real thing. He was the ambassador of fun for the Dallas Stars for a time. Now doing something similar with the St. Louis Blues. Yeah, just getting absolutely torqued off of booze. Can't confirm. Winning Stanley Cups.

Think good thoughts for the Yang man. I like that guy. Where are his supporters going to go? You've got to think Bernie. Don't be sad that it's over. Smile because it happened? Smile because it happened. Should we do an Andrew Yang t-shirt that just says that?

No, you shouldn't. No, that wouldn't be good. I mean, don't get political. If you guys want a direct line of contact with him, I'm right here. Oh, yeah, forgot. I was pretty – we're Twitter boys. Like, we're just down with each other like it's just kind of what it is i was you want my vote just follow me on twitter

it's really easy yeah does he follow you yeah damn i know it's a blue check mark i'm sure the intern that uh that was like liking all the tweets was like oh this guy's got a check mark let's just follow him do you think he read things girls do? Maybe. It's possible. So I was thinking, I was planning on the $1,000 a month of extra universal income.

I've already spent on one. I bought a boat. Yeah. And it's looking like a problem now. Fuck. It's okay. Y'all want to go in on a boat with me? Mastercraft. It's got like the wakeboard tower and like the speakers and shit you know the two the two best days of boat ownership

right oh man what are they what are they dad dude tell me dad the day you buy it and the day you sell it boy ain't that the truth so you still got one one of one of those is still ahead of you dave you get to sell it it'll be one of the best days of owning it. Dylan, I've got an investment opportunity for you. Is it the boat that you bought? It is the boat that I was referring to. You bought a bunch of your Yang bucks? Does Dylan look like he could get caught up in a timeshare scheme?

Yeah. Why? How do you get that vibe from me? I think you would put off timeshare vibes. Somebody's like, hey, I got this timeshare. Wait, wait. How is it a scheme? Not a scheme.

There's a lot of legit ones, but like if there was one that was a scheme, you could get caught. It would be like in Breck or something. No, there's schemes in just the sense that they pin you somewhere and won't let you leave until they're done talking about it. Yeah. And the presentations are slimy. Yeah. Yeah. Slimy is a good way of describing it.

And you don't like conflict, so instead of arguing, you would just pay somebody to leave. A scheme makes me think you pay for a timeshare that you don't actually get access to. You're paying for someone else to stay in it or something. You would get caught up underwater in legit timeshares, is what I mean. There's a course in Cabo that you play.

Dude, an underwater timeshare sounds sick. There's a course in Cabo. When you play the course, apparently, you make your tee time, and you show up for the tee time, and then they put you through a two-hour presentation beforehand. They want you to buy property. It's just bullshit. That's pretty common.

There's a golf course in Texas. It's out at the cliffs at Lake Whitney or something. I remember as a kid in the 90s, my dad went out there, and they gave him the tour and then he got to play the course and he got a free set of golf clubs just for going and looking at property out there. The Wilsons? They were not good. Dude, pro staff?

This is after his got stolen out of a garage. I remember this vividly. Damn. I remember I was on the trip and the guy was taking us in his land cruiser to tour the property. Very hilly. It's like the Texas Hill Country up there. And I got real sick.

That's really the end of that story. I just wanted to point out that I still remember it. Very weird that I remember that. I remember weird shit. I'm sorry you got sick, man. It's alright, man. I made it. Did you play after that? No, I didn't play. This is pre-golf day. I didn't start playing until like sophomore year.

Really? Freshman year. Huh. I didn't know that about you. Dude, we learn something new about each other every day. Dylan, what's up? Excuse me. Oh.

I was like halfway to a burp there when you said that. Yeah, I'm doing great, man. Is Dylan more? I didn't ask how you were doing. I just said what's up. Oh, sorry. Nothing is up. I'm happy to be here in the stew.

It's another crap day outside, but I'm in here with you fine gentlemen. It's cleared up. The sun's going to pop out this afternoon, I think. Okay. It's bringing me down. It's still going to be muddy. It's got me in a little bit of a funk, I think. Heavy rain last night.

Our dog park didn't flood totally, but there was standing water in part of it. I've never seen that before at our dog park. You don't like that. No, it's new. It's a new development. At least you got that artificial turf out there, so no mud to track in it. Yeah. That's nice.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a big concern in my life right now. That's a good sitch. Dylan, I can't tell if you put off would get schemed by a timeshare salesman or you would be the timeshare salesman. You are a real estate professional. I am a real estate professional. Anything good out there?

It's a seller's market right now in ATX. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. How do you feel as a native Austinite about the term ATX? I've never really put much thought into it. It doesn't bother me at all. I don't use it.

It's inherently douchey. A little bit. Is it just a copy of DFW? Yeah, it's just the X. Is DFW douchey? No, I think it's the X that makes it. It's ATX. You can't avoid the X, but I think you are right.

When an X gets in play, it kind of makes something more douchey. Right. Like the X game. Doesn't it sound like a wakeboard brand? Yes. Oh, dude, ATX, nice. Yeah, it does. People in San Francisco don't like San Fran.

I wouldn't like that either. No, they don't like San Fran. Why? I don't know. I'm not a San Francisco local. San Francisco. Yeah, I don't like that either. No, they don't like San Fran. Why? I don't know. I'm not a San Francisco local. San Francisco. Yeah, I don't really know why. It doesn't...

You spend much time in Man Jose, by any chance? I've been to San Jose once. I hated it. Tell me about Man Jose. What is that? They call it Man Jose because... A lot of men. A lot of men, yeah.

Nice. Like Menver. Why are there so many men there? I don't know. But it lived up to the hype, I'll say that, when we were there for the NHL All-Star Game. Just dudes as far as you could see? A lot of dudes.

How was the All-Star Game? What's the vibe like? You can tell nobody wants to be there. So good. Okay. Yeah. It wasn't great in San Jose. I imagine that if it was in LA or New York, it would be kind of fun.

Probably too many men. Yeah. I just want to go to the NBA All-Star Game. That's my top tier All-Star Game. It was in Charlotte. I don't know where it is next year or this year. Didn't they used to do it in Vegas every year? Is it? I don't know. I feel like they used to do it in Vegas every year? Is it?

I don't know. I feel like they used to do it in Vegas every year for some reason. That's like the, I don't know. They do like the G League or they did like the G League there. I don't know. All-Star game is a scene, though. Oh, yeah. There's always sick parties.

It's not like the Pro Bowl where everybody hates it. People actually watch it. Skills challenge. Three-point dunk contest. Would you rather go to the game or the night before, like the dunk contest three-point? Dude, dunk contest. Are you serious? Yeah, for sure.

Dude's throwing down slam dunks, Dylan. I know the dunk contest has kind of taken a step back just because you don't get the stars, but it still is electric. It's still really fun. They need to have that mascot who got tossed. Dude, they need to have a mascot dunk contest. Why would they not do this? Each mascot gets like three dunks and just do it.

I think it'd be really, really fun to watch. Someone needs to call their squad out there and have them just heave them from the three-point line. By the way, a real shame that LeBron has never done the dunk contest. It's lame, but I get it. All the greats did it. Hey, can I go back on something? I was totally wrong. Totally wrong about it being in Vegas.

Okay. For some reason, I thought there was an All-Star game that was parked in Vegas every year, and that's why people loved it so much. We're not going to hold that against you. You're right. I just didn't want some hard-O being like, whenever Will talks about sports, he's fucking wrong. Like MJ used to joke, don't do that. MJ did it.

Kobe did it. I mean, come on, LeBron. Yeah, I agree. Now he's not even the dunker he used to be. How many did Kobe do? I don't know. I think he won it his rookie year. That's when I first saw Kobe and was like, damn, Kobe's tight. He had it all going.

He had the little mini fro going. I loved it. It was tight. He should have never gotten rid of that. Will, the voice you did for the guy who would hypothetically Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, he had it all going. He had the little mini fro going. I loved it. It was tight. You should have never gotten rid of that. It was cool. Will, the voice you did for the guy who would hypothetically be insulting you for your sports takes sounded a lot like... It sounded... Okay, well, that is different. It sounded runny as Super Dave from Curb.

Rest in peace. Dude, I didn't even think about him not being around for this season. Yeah. He's a one-line king. R.I.P. To Kobe and to, what was his name? Super Dave, always born. That was his character. He had a real name, and it escapes me.

Hey, we have some major announcements. You've heard these announcements before. South by Southwest, March 17th, 1130 at Augustine on Rainy Street. Be there or be square. It's going to be fun. It's in association with Patreon. We need you guys to show up. Show that we're legit.

I have no concerns that that's going to happen because every other one of our meetups has gone very, very well. But I want to see your faces there. Get over there. Also, another announcement. It's podcast week. Really? Yep. It's the hump day of podcast week how are you guys feeling about it so far you wait all year for it to come around and it does and it's you know it's i've been waiting all day for podcast week huh i don't know how that works, but I'm still on board with you.

Oh, podcast week. What are we doing differently to celebrate podcast week? Dude, don't ask. We can't talk about that on air. Oh. We're going to do a Harlem Shake video. We'll find out. Really?

Yeah. Okay. Also, go check out watchmedia.com. New site. It's a central hub check out washmedia.com. New site. It's a central hub for everything you need from washmedia. We have a new shirt on the site, washmedia.com slash shop. A little washmedia shirt with the new logo. It's looking hot.

Keep an eye out for some other products that are in the works coming up there soon. I need to cop that shirt, actually. Do it, bitch. I haven't done it yet. Do it. Maybe I will, bitch. This was reminding me I was supposed to get a shirt for certain someone for Valentine's Day that I did not do. Whew.

You messed up, buddy. Yep. That embroidered circling back shirt that she's asked me to get for like three weeks now. Guess what? Valentine's Day is two days away. It will not ship in time. Yep. Your boy is toast.

Yeah. If you were trying to get a shirt by Valentine's Day, we have bad news. You could do that really cool thing where you print out a picture of it, put it in a card, and give it to her. You're like, this is on the way, I promise. Yeah, totally, totally remembered. So lame.

I think I've done that for my sister for Christmas for the last three years. So messed up with the shipping. Yeah, I don't know what happened. Do you guys want the final announcement? Sure. Yeah, dude. It's hard to say how long this will be available

but right now the canadian backers out there they can order stuff come on now once once i think i don't think you're allowed to like imitate canada after your geography uh oh you know they don't mind up there uh i'm doing a test on the site so we can ship to Canada. That being said, if the logistics on the back end don't work out, then that will get stopped. But, hey, if you want to be a test case for it, by all means, go to the site. Washmedia.com slash shop. Get a Canadian t-shirt.

Shots all the Canadian backers out there. If this doesn't work, we're going to just have to hire a mule in, like, Buffalo to take it across the border, take it over the falls or whatever. That's all the Canadian backers out there. If this doesn't work, we're going to just have to hire a mule in Buffalo to take it across the border, take it over the falls or whatever. That's fine. Take it over the falls? Yeah, like in a barrel. Probably a better route than that to take to cross the border, but I get it. Yeah, there's a bridge, isn't there? There's got to be.

Well, there's just a road that goes over there. Yeah, direct roads, I think, too. Yeah, getting into Canada is not very hard. The shortest distance between two points is a direct line. That is correct. That is correct, yeah. So I'm thinking what would be logistically the least amount of overhead for the mule. Where are they shipping from?

Where's the warehouse? There's numerous warehouses, Dylan. Oh, is that right? Yeah, they're scattered all across the United States. We diversified our risk. North Carolina, raise up. Oh, is that right? Yeah, they're scattered all across the United States. We diversified our risk. North Carolina, raise up. California, not sure where. Okay.

But they're all over the place. Yeah, a lot of people seem to think we produce them here. They're like, can I come by and get one? I wish, but no, we don't actually have any. We should have like 20 at all times in this office, though. Yes. Fair. In case like Brittany T comes by and we need to pull one out of a drawer that's been in there.

We need to get a dresser, though. Can we get a dresser first? Yeah. That's a good idea, Dave. We could just smuggle them on the Maid of the Mist, Brett. Actually, that's one of Brett's visions for the office is having a merch corner of the... I have a card table that you purchased for... Yeah, there's literally a plastic table at Dave's house that we were going to play beer die on

that I'd like to write off if we can use it in the office. Call me a downer. Call me a downer. But does this table with merch on it sound more depressing than it sounds cool? What? I don't know about that. A fold-out picnic table?

No, it's covered up, though. There's so much merch, you can't tell that it's a picnic table. Okay, okay. I'm just imagining, like, a. There's so much merch, you can't tell that it's a picnic table. Okay, okay. I'm just imagining a beer pong table with our shirts just thrown onto it. Yeah. That's fair. Something like that. We could hang the shirts up, though, so it creates more of a vibe.

Okay, okay. We still need to know what to do with this room behind us. It's a dodgeball arena. Well, I was thinking thinking I was telling this before the podcast is there any Austin indoor golf locations

yes but it's like there's one right in South Austin what is that Rock Golf it's right behind Pine House

here's what I'm thinking set up a simulator charge people to come by ceiling's too low dog we already tried it oh ceiling's too low and the it would be tried it. Ceiling's too low. And it would be very loud

because these floors, we're not on the top floor. We're not on the bottom floor. It's true. Yeah, we'd probably get in trouble. So you know when I compress the ball when I'm just hitting down on it, hitting like big boy draws?

You know who does that really well is fucking Klein. Tiny ass swings. He compresses the fucking ball. It's one of the few things he does well. Did you say big boy draws? It did. Okay.

You have big boy club head speed. What is it? Triple digit? I think I touched 109. You have big speed. That's probably 104. It's not tiny club head speed. I know.

I was trying to think of the fast version of tiny. I know, but why tiny? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. Why was that the one he went with? Yeah. He didn't have to get that off at that moment. He could have waited and been like, what's a better way to describe the club head speed?

No, I think he did perfect. Tiny club head speed. Our president is making fun of someone's club head speed. That in itself is just absolutely absurd. You know? To publicly shame someone's club head speed. What is he doing? It's pretty much what we do on this podcast.

Yeah, we do that often. We're not running a country. No, but... Oh, man. Maybe he listens. He's something else. Dave, can we talk about the elephant in the room? Yes.

What? Yeah. Go ahead. What'd you do a couple days ago or what oh yeah i just wanted a little psa i did delete a tweet yesterday morning if you were if you were quick and you saw it on twitter probably about 9 9 15 um I tweeted out my infamous Ted Cruz tweet. It's the video of him describing Queso. And the reason I did this is because I saw Queso was trending. And I said, well, in addition to being bae, Queso is trending. So I need to ride this wave and see if I can get some, you know, a little Twitter clout and I'll run this video back. And I tweeted it, and then I did this in the wrong order. I tweeted the video, then I looked and clicked Queso to see why it was trending.

And it turns out it was a, Queso was a golden retriever that passed away. And apparently the internet had become a fan of this golden retriever, because why not? It's a golden retriever. And, yeah, so I deleted the tweet. I thought it was in poor taste at that point. I'm going through my DMs right now. I have a million DMs about this tweet. A million DMs.

Y'all didn't even know about it until I told you. This one says, like, hey, can you check in on Dave? He's just slandering a dead dog on his timeline right now. I responded. I said, hey, the tweet's been deleted. He didn't mean to do it. This doesn't sound accurate because no one DM'd me. This one says, does Dave respect dogs?

That's not true. Answer the question, David. Show me. Let me see. No, dude, these are my DMs, dude. I'm not going to air these people out. Answer the question. Do you respect dogs?

Dude, I am a dog. I'm a big dog. Why were you saying before the podcast that there's too many dog shows, too? Do you respect dogs? Dude, I am a dog. I'm a big dog. Why were you saying before the podcast that there's too many dog shows, too? I've never said that. I said there's not enough dog shows. I said the opposite. Is it true you put a big boy stack on Daniel the Golden Retriever in that dog show?

You know I don't talk about my dog bets publicly, Dylan. Can you bet on that? I didn't know that, actually. Can you bet on that? Surely you can bet on the dog shows, right? I want to know the Vegas handicappers that know the dogs. Oh, yeah. You know, there's a group of guys

who are so serious about it and they study these things. Can you bet on them? I want to know. If you got the right bookie, Dylan. If you want to talk after this, we can... I don't have a bookie.

You don't have big boy stacks. Okay, well, I don't... Okay. Fucking timeshare stacks over here. Can I say something about the name Queso for a dog? Is it mood? It stinks. Oh, it's not a good one.

I'm sorry. It's tough. Just give it a normal name. Is there a normal dog name, though? Like, yeah. Randy's normal. Is it? Yeah.

I've never known a Randy dog. Rosie's normal. Yeah. But, like, Queso. If someone's yelling Queso at my dog park, I'm immediately thinking, like, you're doing too much. If, like, McKenna from The Bachelor had a dog, it would be queso, wouldn't it? It would be something of that sort.

That's fair. You can, in fact, bet on dog shows. Oh, no. Yeah. You don't have to tell me, Dylan. Yeah, Dave had big boys. Did you put a big boy stack on Daniel with a gold retriever or not, David? It's a simple question. Let me just, I'll leave it at this. There's a reason why

I'm not in my, the car that you are familiar with. There's a reason I pulled up today in a brand new vehicle. I thought you lost your pink slip or something. I did. I was in a street race. I thought you lost your pink slip or something. I did. I was in a street race. That is the reason. I'm pissed I didn't watch this. I actually made a mental note to watch it,

and I just got stuck in Love Island. You've been watching a lot of that. I'm breezing through. It's really easy to do. And now I'm not only watching it, but I'm also DMing back and forth with Shitto about Love Island. Well, you missed it. This is who I am. Because they had Blink come out, Blink-182, with Tom.

And they played their old song, their classic hit, Dog Show. I thought you were going to say Mutt. Fell in love with the girl from the dog show. They were going to play Mutt. Is that an actual song? They only had purebred songs on the docket that night. No, Dylan. I don't even know if you're joking about that dude it's rock show you ever heard rock that was a great video good video to enter summer with i remember it came out right like towards the last day of school for us or at least it was really popular toward the last day of

school and i remember thinking like dude everyone loves this right now. Hanging out behind the kennel for the weekend. The wheels are turning. I just don't have anything good enough to say to follow up with that. That's all I have. I was just getting drunk with the good boys and it's like, I don't think you'd want to get drunk. You're not supposed to give your dog beer. Although everyone in high school definitely did. I did.

Do you have the friends who would blow weed in your dog's face, too? If one of you blew weed in Rosie's face, I'd be very mad. That's a trashy move. I'm kicking your ass out of my house. Yeah, I'd be like, you're on probation. No place for that. Don't get near my dog. I'm kicking him out of the timeshare.

Get the brick. Yeah. Dylan, I think you have to buy a timeshare. Dude, I'll go in. I don't know why you're... Dylan, I have an investment opportunity for you. I'm kicking me out of the group to be the timeshare guy. You buy a timeshare. Dude, I'll go in. I don't know why you're... Dylan, I have an investment opportunity for you. ...out of the group to be the timeshare guy. Well, you're the one who put out timeshare vibes.

I don't, though. Aren't you loaded? I wish I was loaded. No, I am not. All right. You're getting a house. You're the majority owner of a small to mid-sized media company. And you own half a boat with me as of today.

I don't think I do. Yeah, your assets are popping this morning. I'm ready to sell, Dave. What? It's going to be the best day of of i took out a second mortgage on this fucking boat what's a reverse mortgage isn't that just setting your it's like a regular mortgage but in reverse aren't you just setting your like your heirs up for financial failure uh probably yeah because you're reversing the equity in your house and then you're just giving it to them.

So you take your mortgage and you flip it and reverse it. Yeah. You turn it around and then it's facing the other way. This is a legitimate question. Why are you asking that here? Do you really want an answer? Yes. Do you think anybody in this room could tell you

the ins and outs of a reverse mortgage? Let me make a time stamp for this. 22-20, we are trying to figure out what reverse mortgages are. It's beneficial for certain situations. Okay. People who I think older people, more popular for older people. Like people that are dying? It's like another paycheck, right?

You're selling the bank equity in your house. Basically, yeah. You know what you just signed us up for? A lengthy explanation from a listener. Yeah, that I don't want to read. That's exactly what's going to happen. That I will appreciate. If somebody puts it on the Reddit thread, what's a reverse mortgage?

I'd like to know. Man, if only you could type that into a program on your computer. I don't trust them. Yeah, we're going to get some smug real estate dude that's like, oh my God. Let's just talk about buying stocks next. That would really get the people going. I'll tell you something I do want to invest in. Untuck It.

Oh, yes. Their clothing, not the actual company. I think they're good in terms of investments at this point. But have you ever wondered why traditional button-ups look so long and baggy? Like a damn parachute, especially on a slender guy like myself. And then, like, you can't untuck those. No. Because then you just look like you're wearing your dad's shirt.

You look like you're wearing a painting schmuck from art class back in the day. You look like a total dumbass is what you look like. A big old dumbass. Yeah. Well, luckily, Untuckit is the brand you've been looking for. It's the original untucked shirt, a modern solution to an old problem with no tucking

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They got everything going on the site. Dude. Ugh. The sweaters. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Ugh. Ugh. What'd you get from them, Dylan? Dude, you know I got a cardigan, dog. Oh, yeah. Cardi D over here. I look fly as hell in that thing, too. Who knew they did cardigans? No one.

No one. None of y'all knew. I got a shacket. I don't think you traditionally tuck in shackets, but this thing's the perfect length, so I wouldn't even consider it. A shacket, the thing about them is it's a shirt jacket. It's a combo platter. People forget that. With more than 50 fit combinations,

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And it's promo code STEAM for 20% off your first order. I'm a little upset. Alexa, play I'm upset. Sounds like a rep. Papa John is a liar. By Drake. I know that, but Will was repeating the line. This is a

sad day for this podcast in general. Yeah, we we've been misled. Are you to tell me that he didn't eat 40 pizzas in 30 days? What a dipshit. I just don't understand. Even if he

didn't, he needs to for the greater good, he needs to... It's like, for the greater good, he needs to just hold on to that one. The New York Daily News had some words. They said, if you can't trust Papa John, who can you trust? Next time you know, there's not going to be a day of reckoning coming. Yeah, right? Because that's what he said in the same breath, basically.

Yeah. Do we know if that's still on, like the day of reckoning? You've got to assume it's still on. I don't know. I tried to open up and read that article you linked, and my computer just exploded. That's why, dude, I mash that ad blocker button. Oh, my gosh. It says, Cheap Pizza Chain Founder Papa John Schnatter.

What a terrible last name. It's a bad name. Yeah. He revealed on the H3 podcast Monday that he didn't actually eat 40 pizzas in 30 days. Wait, so someone's doing a podcast out of their H3? Just driving around and shit? Yeah. I low-key alpha'd a Hummer the other day.

Wow. Did you really? Yeah. What'd you do? He was trying to turn, and I was trying to turn at the same time. I'm kind of getting tired of getting alphafitted by dudes in giant trucks in Texas. So I've gotten a little more aggressive on the road. Good for you.

And I was like, you know what? Sorry, Hummer, you're gonna have to wait. But he explained that he did not have 40 pizzas in 30 days. That was it? He was eating slices instead of entire pizzas.

Okay. So you had 40 slices of pizza in 30 days? Like sick, dude. I probably did that on accident. That's not impressive. I feel like Portnoy does that pretty pizzas. Okay. So you had 40 slices of pizza in 30 days? Like, sick, dude. I probably did that on accident. Yeah, that's not impressive. I feel like Portnoy does that pretty regularly. Yeah.

It's not that... Like, 40 and 30 is not that great. Those are rookie numbers. You got to get your numbers up. Were you guys following our friend Jake from the ticket in Dallas? Shout out to him for the tier one status now. He tried to eat three single topping Pizza Hut pizzas,

regular crust, in the duration of their show from 12.15 to 3 p.m. How'd he do? I think two and some. And then he vomited. Two and change? Two and change. A lot of vomit. He vomited out of both ends, I believe.

Well, I shouldn't frame it like that. I'm just saying he evacuated from both ends. That is a ridiculous amount of sodium, cholesterol, fat. It's not healthy to vomit out of your butt, David. Yeah. Jake vomiting out of his butt, we need to have a talk with him and maybe his medical professional. He's a big dude, but that was a lofty goal.

What size pizzas were these? These are large. Pizza Hut pizzas, single topping. Yeah, that's tough to do. Pizza Hut's quite bready. You know I'm on record as not liking Pizza Hut. You know I'm on record as loving Pizza Hut. You guys like pizza.

I don't. I'm a Domino's guy. I'm a Domino's guy too, but I'll fuck Pizza Hut if it's I'm on record as loving Pizza Hut. You guys like pizza. I don't. I'm a Domino's guy. I'm a Domino's guy too, but I'll fuck Pizza Hut if it's in front of me. Pizza Hut's better than Domino's. That's my official take, and I have had no evidence that has caused me to go back on that take. I don't have a problem with that take. I just don't agree with it.

You guys know my story. Everybody knows. I've told this story many times across many different platforms. Marcus Lopez, after one of our soccer games, where we were like eight, ate like 32 slices from CeCe's pizza in one sitting. I'm just saying. What's he up to these days? Mario Lopez?

No, Marcus Lopez. I don't know. His parents owned a barbecue joint in Duncanville. I don't know if they still own it or not. They probably went out of business because their son just wouldn't stop fucking eating. I mean, he ate a lot of pizza that day. Some are saying that maybe it wasn't 32. Maybe it was like 21.

Maybe it was like eight. I will always remember it as 32 slices of CeCe's pizza. Do you know what toppings Jake went with? Pepperoni and sausage, and I don't know what the last one was. I feel like you got to go. Pepperoni, you have to go one topping. You have to go pepperoni for one. I just worry going too meat heavy is like the death of it.

Yeah, it's a lot. How many could you eat? I think I could probably do one. One. I could do one. One. There's no way I could do more than one. I'd be happy with one. Deep dish. I couldn't even finish that. one. Deep Dish.

I couldn't even finish that. No, fuck Deep Dish. Sorry, it's not happening. No one's doing that. If we can't trust Papa John at this point, I don't know who we can trust. There's no people left in this world that I can look to. Yang's done.

Papa John's out. What's fucking next? Next thing you're going to tell me is that Papa John was never really a CEO. And if you tell me that, then I'm going to have a real problem. I think he was. In the pizza category. That's the story we've been told, but I don't know what to believe, Dylan. It's fucking 2020, man.

Shit's weird. You've got people with tiny club head speed running for president. If Papa John didn't eat all these pizzas, then why? Like, how's he going to explain, like, the way he looked in that interview? Great point. Like, there are bigger. What would happen? There are bigger worries now for him than just him eating the pizzas.

Because he looks like shit. So. He is pouring pizza grease out of his pores. He looks like he took too much prednisone. Have we talked about his net worth on this podcast? Is he doing big boy numbers? He's doing big boy numbers. Does he have big boy stacks?

He doesn't need to share time. Can I guess? Yeah. This is from Wikipedia. This isn't me. He was bought out, right? $108 million. He sold all his equity.

$472 million. $660 million. Dave, I want you to take your number, put it down, flip it, and reverse it. $801 million. He's almost a billionaire? He's almost a billionaire, dude. What the hell? He started papa john's papa john stinks did he start it or did he just was he just at the the helm when it rose to prominence

dude it's that garlic dipping sauce that stuff is such garlic trash it's terrible it's it's good though man you think of all the people out there who dig that nasty shit dude also and they give you the uh the pepper. Ooh, I love that little banana pepper. Little banana pepper. Little bonus pep. Which you know I like that.

Bonus pep? Oh, yeah. Man. Oof. You need that after you've just thrown down like eight slices of pizza. You need something that'll give you more heartburn. In garlic dipping sauce.

Yes. I dip the pepper in the garlic dipping sauce. Dude, no one's doing that, David. Wow. Yeah. I've still never had Papa John's. Are you serious? You're not missing anything. I sauce. Dude, no one's doing that, David. Wow. I've still never had Papa John's.

Are you serious? You're not missing anything. I know. No, I haven't. It's trash. We didn't have it growing up. Dude, it's not bad. It wasn't the kind of thing where I was like,

I'm going to go eat Papa John's right now. It tastes so different from any other chain. Well, if I'm looking for pizza, I normally don't go to chains anymore. Okay. Look at this guy. Well, like, I don't know. If I'm eating pizza, I don't eat it all that much. I'm not going to go to a chain when I could spend, like, two extra dollars on the pizza

and go get, like, something else. The homie requested Pine House pizza the other day. Swag lord. Dude, he's high maintenance. I was like, oh, excuse me? Yeah. What? Pine House?

He called it out by name. He's into it. He loves their cheese pizza. Well, he's talking to the right person. I mean, like, have you ever turned down a trip to Pine House? I feel like you haven't. Actually, it's been a minute since I've been, and I'm not happy about it. I went Saturday night.

Oh, thanks for the invite, dog. It was just, shout out to the backers that were there, by the way, too. It was kind of just a little date night. I mean, sadly now we're feeling pretty bad about ourselves after staying up too late the night before, and pizza just sounded like bae. Sounded like bae. I ordered Yagi's on Sunday. Yagi's is good.

I liked it. What's Yagi's? New York style. Delivery joint. You don't like New York? Well, I mean, New York style in Texas. You're going to be a snob about it. Oh, because the water here is different.

That's fair. I had to get back to Pine House, man. I haven't had their pizza in a minute. The last couple times we've gone, we've just gotten salads and pizza rolls. Hey, don't poo-poo the salads and pizza rolls. No, I'm not. They're fantastic. Sounds like you're kind of poo-pooing.

I've been on a health kick. It's not much fun, if I'm being honest. You look good, though. Oh, well, thank you. No pizza. I don't notice any difference. Well, that's quite discouraging. thank you. No pizza. I don't notice any difference. Well, that's quite discouraging. Thank you.

Dude, since the day I met you, you've been a 10 in my eyes, and you're still a 10 in my eyes. Oh, Will. Thanks, man. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, I miss pizza. That's kind of the point I was making. I miss pizza.

You miss pizza? Because it's bae. That's tough to not see bae for that long. And I haven't seen bae for a minute too no bae no pizza you must be hungry and horny what is that supposed to be jesus you need to eat all right food i guess yeah hey what's up with this broom challenge he's got a lot on his plate um it went viral what like why why was this the number one trending topic on twitter on monday

Dave do you want to rip the broom challenge people or do you want me to I'll let you do it you seem to be doing better with like the scientific stuff yeah if you're doing this thing it's the one day a year that you can put your broom up because of the earth's gravitational pull you're a sheep wow

yeah that's all it is literally you can do it every day is the Earth's gravitational pull. You're a sheep. Ooh. Wow. Yeah. Yep, that's all it is. Literally, you can do it every day. It's just one of those internet things that people, you know, they're sheep. It's just not true. We should just wait like two months and just start this from our account

and be like, dude, today's a one day. Well, it's happened like six times since 2012. Aren't there certain things that you can only do on certain days, though? Like, physically? No. Because of the way the Earth's tilted or whatever.

I'm glad you started clarifying. There are certain things that you can only do on certain days. No, I mean like things like this. Like with physics. Like standing an egg up? Yeah, stuff like that. Certain visual phenomenas. Yeah, there's an egg thing.

Dave's right, I think. The problem is that if you can do it in Austin, you can't do it in New York on a certain day of the year. Okay. You know what I'm saying? There's just too much difference in... Water? Is it because the water in New York is different? Is that what you're saying?

Shut up. What? Will, what did you... It's a valid question. Dude, guys, I have bad news. Sure. Are you guys ready for this? No.

Can we guess? It starts February 17th. President's Day? Mmth president's day i mean i don't know maybe so i'm talking about that better call saul no mercury is going to be back in retrograde i know i'm not happy about either ends march 10th soth, so at least it ends before the meetup. But there's a lot that goes into the meetup that is planned during that specific period of time. Sally and I are having a Mercury and Retrograde

party, so everyone can come out. We're going to do eye masks, some self care routines. Can we jade roll? We're doing feet peeling lotions and stuff. You guys heard about the feet peeling thing? Nope. It's weird as fuck. Why do you want your feet peeled? I don't know.

Sally did this thing. I looked over in the kitchen the other day, and she was, like, putting these plastic things on her feet. And I was like, what's going on right now? Is Sally, like, into goop? No. No. Because, I mean, Sally, being a, I guess, a doctor at this point,

like, I don't think she believes in the pseudoscience of it. She watched a few of the episodes with me of the Goop Lab, but I don't think she buys it. Goop has a show? Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just making sure.

You're saying she's Goop-ish. Well, she's got goop vibes. She's putting plastic things on her feet. I don't know if they believe in plastic. I want to know more about this. I'm interested in this. I am not opposed to peeling my feet. Okay, so I've looked this up.

Yeah, your feet are trashed. Is the worst hair on the male body the hair on the toes? Uh-huh. Like the big toe when it's... What about knuckle? I guess I'm lucky. I'm hashtag blessed. I don't have much knuckle hair.

The ones on the toes are just long. The big toe, when it's wet, it just drapes over the side of the toe. I have a buddy who shaves his feet. I shaved my toe when I was probably 14 or whatever, when I had the first sprout of hair. I remember summer hitting and me putting on flip-flops and being like, I can't be the dude right now who has a hairy big toe. And so I stole my dad's razor and I shaved my big toe.

My friend looks weird. And he shaved his face with it. Because he's a grown man who doesn't shave his legs, so the hair just stops at his feet. Just bicks it. I just don't care. It's weird. I feel like after puberty, when everyone's kind of off,

you just stop caring about that kind of stuff. Yeah. Dylan, how many followers for you to bleach your feet? Bleach my feet? You heard me. How many patrons? Yeah. I'll do the same day I do the waffle challenge with you

and everyone else in this room. See, listen to this guy. Unbelievable. We already pulled the tape on it, so don't even try it. I feel like you were not saved by the tape. I absolutely was. I don't know. Pull the tape.

We're going to have to pull the tape. We already pulled the tape. That's the thing. I don't know if it was clear. You guys want to know why people are peeling their feet? Yeah. No, I really do. Is it because the bottom of your feet calloused up?

Yeah, I think it's just to get rid of the skin, the dead skin and the gross skin on the bottom of your feet. Yeah, no, I really do. Is it because the bottom of your feet calloused up? Yeah, I think it's just to get rid of the skin. The dead skin and the gross skin on the bottom of your feet. Exfoliate? Yeah. Don't you do that with fish? You stick your feet in a tank and they bite your feet for like three hours? I thought you were talking about the concert. I don't know. I've seen barefoot people. You might be doing barefoot people that fish a lot.

Yeah. Farmhouse. Wait. Be careful calling out farmhouse. Apparently it's... They don't even play that live anymore shut up uh yeah it says there's a reason uh yeah it just it's kind of like a snake it just it just sheds your foot of the dead gross skin wow it's like a new you i know new feet New feet, new you. I've got these gross-ass calloused feet. Calloused feet are good, though. Right?

As a kid, we used to go play outside barefoot because we wanted strong feet. Yeah. I feel good about the state of my feet right now. I've got great grip strength in my feet. Do you? Yeah. Why'd you do that? Literally just to have strong feet?

Like a monkey? Dave's just standing on hot pavement as a six-year-old. I can do the rock challenge. What is it? Where you walk across hot coals. Can you? I mean, I probably could. I don't know if I would do it well.

I will go on record saying that I think any of us could do that. Oh, I don't know. I could see Dylan not doing it. Here we go. Dylan would say he's going to do it, then he'd come up with some excuse like, no, pull the tape, man. You said you're going to do it, then he'd come up with some excuse like, no, pull the tape, man. You said you're going to do it with me. I just got an email from Goop, strangely enough,

and one of the things is five crystals for masculine energy. Dude, sign me up. That's a must cop. He's been a little bitch lately. That's a must cop. I've been looking for crystals for masculine energy. People actually buy that. That's the thing.

Yeah, fucking Spencer. Oh, um... Spencer Pratt. Spencer Pratt, the biggest douchebag in reality TV history. Are you telling me one of the all-time great douchebags likes that? He was not the biggest douchebag in reality TV history. Who's doucheier than Spencer Pratt? Scott Disick?

No. Oh, Disick's tight, though. Yeah, Disick's tight, though. You know that he's a douche? He's the good kind of douche. Spencer Pratt's a douche, but he's also just like a genuinely just awful human being. No, he's's tight, though. Yeah, Disick's tight, though. You know that he's a douche? He's the good kind of douche. Spencer Pratt's a douche, but he's also just like a genuinely just awful human being. No, he's turning around, though. Dude, he's gooping.

Well, I haven't paid attention to him lately, so you might be right. Yeah, I don't use Snapchat anymore, but his Snapchat game was electric. Is he on a redemption tour? Yeah, he's like sober now, so all he did for a while on Snapchat was he got really into hummingbirds. So he had like a bird feeder that he would just tape the hummingbirds, which was actually kind of cool. And then he would also talk about his crystals a lot while listening to Taylor Swift. And he would just be bumping Taylor Swift constantly playing with hummingbirds.

That's chill. Okay. He's playing with hummingbirds? Is that Bay Mood or Kohl's? I think it's all of them wrapped up into one. Yeah, okay. Taylor Swift, Masculine Crystals and Hummingbird

Videos. Taylor Swift is bae. Obviously. Crystals are mood. I think they change your energy and then goals are hummingbirds because I want to move that fast. You know they flap their wings at a very

very rapid pace. You know it's like up to a billion times a second really i gotta check the numbers i don't know and if you put them next to the masculine crystals it's two billion times a second wow it's pretty astounding if you slow it down only on one day a year can they only yeah. Exactly. Only when they're drinking New York water while mercury is in the glades. I don't even know how to respond to that. No, it's the mineral content of the water is different. You wouldn't understand. It's like the sodium.

Wait till you have the water from the toads. Really? It's served at the- Fresh spring? It's a crazy hard. It is. It's very the sodium. We usually have the water from the toads. Really? It's served at the... Fresh spring? It's a crazy hard. It is. It's very much... Is it harder than Dillon?

It depends on what spring you go to. Oh. Should we have a water tasting contest? I'll have some sent from Harbor Springs, and we can have Brett get some from the toads, and we can just do a taste of... I mean, mine's served at the inauguration. Like, where's yours served? How do you feel?

Where are you on Austin water? Dude, I'm... It's fine. Being raised in a place where you don't have to filter your water or anything like that. I've grown up in a way that makes me not worry about water. I don't either. And I have no issue with Austin water. I was at the gym the other day in the sauna, and these two guys were talking about the Austin water.

And one of them was saying that it's some of the dirtiest water in the country. Like, what are you talking about? Really? Well, I mean, there was that, like, not that long ago, there was that boil alert where we all had to boil our water for, like, a week. Well, that was because of flooding. No, I know, I know. But, like, if a simple flood can cause the water to get that bad,

then it seems like Austin's a volatile situation. Agree, maybe. Figure it out, Dylan. I don't have an issue with it. Like, I drink it straight up all the time. Oh, I do, too. Sally thinks I'm a weirdo because she has a water filter, and I'm like, no, I'm just. I'm a filter boy.

I use a zero water filter. I'm a bad boy water consumer. Me, too. Dude, the water in Breck was good. Hell yeah, dude. Mountain water. Yeah. Yeah.

Sure. Sure. What inauguration was your water served at? Every one. Oh, God. Dude, That's unnecessary That sounds like someone signed a shitty deal with the White House It's like they're just a slave to the togs

Saratoga water is served What's the big brand out there? Aquafina Is it mineral water? There's all kinds Sparkling? Togs This is the main one That's awesome that they're doing that There's all kinds. Sparkling? Yeah. Togues. Togues coming through with the water plug, man.

This is the main one. That's awesome that they're doing that because otherwise there wouldn't be water served at the inauguration. It's actually called Togues. That's cool. Yeah. Saratoga Natural Spring Wine. It looks like a vodka bottle. That looks like a hip vodka company.

So you can get the non-carbonated or the carbonated version, but it comes right out of the ground. So you're telling me if I bought a bottle of that and got some yeast or whatever and made some dough and then made a pizza, it would hit different? I'm not saying it wouldn't. Okay. I've never, you keep saying the water thing. I don't subscribe to the water. The hard water theory? Yeah.

I mean, I swear by it. I know. I just think pizza and bagels in New York are just bae as is. What's weird to me is like a bagel, it doesn't seem like it'd be that difficult to master a bagel. It's not like a complicated thing to create, right? Right. So there has to be something up there that is just more conducive to a bomb-ass bagel. I don't know what it is.

Catch me and the fellas drinking nothing but hard water next weekend. Just one. Is that going to be the next, like... Dude, just one, Dave. Don't go too hard, dude. The next White Claw, like, they've just been getting further and further away from, like, sugary beverages to, like, it was, like, lemonade, and then it was, like, seltzer, like, flavored seltzer.

Now they're just going to have like hard water that chicks are going to drink all summer. They should just call it hard water. That's a good name. Someone should make that. I bet there's got to be that. Man. Someone's got to get to the bottom of this.

Everyone, New York. I think about it. They need to teach this in New York schools so that when I talk to somebody in New York about their fucking water, they don't just say, like, dude, it's just something different, man. It's just different. Like, give me a fucking reason. I want to know. I'm genuinely curious.

Like, drop the pH levels on me or something, playboy. Like, give me an actual reason to know that this is true and actually make me care. Dude, I was obsessed with the pH tester when we had a pool growing up. You dropped the little chemicals in there and did a little drop. It was like you were doing a little chemistry experiment. Hey, remember that Touching Base episode where we did our P test? Yeah. Like right in the middle of it?

Our ketones. Ketone, yeah. Yeah. That was fun. I was in ketosis. And you weren't. You were the opposite of ketosis. I was not in ketosis.

Yeah, I don't even know what ketosis is. Yeah, you wouldn't. I don't strive to be in it. Yeah, we can tell. We listen to the pod, man. Oh, come on. I've never seen someone less in ketosis than you. I've never had a New York bagel, by the way.

It was just funny that your body was not burning fat for energy, whereas mine was. Yours was living off carbs, and mine was like in 2032. Wow. Just burning fats. Do you want the reason? Do you look it up? Yep. I wish this was off the dome.

You're still just another New Yorker that just doesn't know. This has nothing to do with Saratoga water. This is New York City specifically. What's the source? New York City. SoYummy.com. 2019. Got to think this is completely accurate.

So Yummy? It's not like a blog that gets 50 hits a week. Well, they just got 51. New York water is often called soft, which makes it taste differently than hard water. Maybe even a little saltier than the hard water. I thought it was hard. It contains less calcium and magnesium than hard water. So, it has a major effect on the gluten in the dough.

Going forward, the El Dave is exclusively made with hard water, hard sparkling water. If the water's not hard, I send it back. And I'm going to say make it hard. Make this water harder. Is there a benefit to drinking soft water as opposed to hard water? Nope. It just changes the baking process.

Because there are water softeners. It's a product that's widely available. You've got to think it has implications for your gut bacteria in some fashion. Probably, yeah. I think that all this water talk takes away from the real heroes here, the bagel and pizza artists in New York City that put in the hard work. You know, that's a good take. I'm sorry, but, like, I like the kings behind the counter

who are, you know, tossing the dough and making it happen. That should be a Netflix documentary, the kings behind the counter. The original kings behind the counter. Like tossing the dough. Y'all ever throw dough up in there? Hey! I've never been in a scenario where I needed to do that. I want to toss dough. I'veall ever throw dough up in the air like that? I've never been in a scenario where I needed to do that. I want to toss dough.

I've done it. Is it tight? I mean, it's not tight because you're imagining a professional doing it, and when you do it yourself, you're pretty much just ripping holes in it with your hands, so it doesn't really work. Also, the dudes doing it are like knuckle deep in that fucking dough. It's kind of gross.

They're hairy-ass knuckles. Y'all ever been to the Seattle fish market where they throw the fish? No, I've never been to Seattle. No, I've seen it, though. It's fun. They're hard to catch. They don't let just anyone walk up and try and catch them. They don't do that anymore, though.

They use the fish tube. What XFL team played my Seattle Demons or whatever they're called? DC Defenders. They had the tweet. Yeah, that was hilarious. That was a great tweet. They were throwing L's out to people. It was so good.

It was good. Man, so that broom challenge. Sick. Yeah. I didn't know you could stand a broom up like that. It takes some finagling, you know? Tough. Tough to do.

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Stamps.com can handle it all with ease, 24-7. Sally and I, we're kind of scumbags, and we didn't send out some of the Christmas gifts we got people until like the other day. You know what we used? Stamps.com. It's February, Will.

Well, we went on record before I went to the UK saying that we're going to get all the Christmas gifts in the UK. Okay. We secured the bag, but we didn't send out the bag, unfortunately. But Stamps.com saved us time and money. So it ended up being a great decision for us. It's a no brainer. It's no wonder over 700,000 small businesses already use stamps.com. And right now our listeners get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Just go to stamps.com, click the little microphone at the top of the homepage,

and type in circling back. That's stamps.com, enter circling back. Match that microphone in the upper corner. Hey, who's Blippi? Okay, let me introduce this segment. Let me introduce Blippi, though. We somehow are talking about YouTube sensations, and Dylan, as a father of a young child, he knows about a guy named Blippi, though. We somehow are talking about YouTube sensations, and Dylan, as a father of a young child,

he knows about a guy named Blippi. Dylan, take it from here. Blippi, spelled B-L-I-P-P-I, is a YouTube, as Dave said, sensation. He's a grown man who does a children's program. It's like educational videos, and he shows you how things work and stuff. I think he does quite well on YouTube.

He has, well, let's just look it up. More followers than we do. I don't think we have any yet. Probably less than Dude Perfect. Or comparable. Hard to say. Yeah, anyway, Blippi is a grown man, and when he's in character,

it's some of the most cringeworthy viewing you can possibly find on the internet. Well, Dylan was unaware of Blippi's previous works. He has a checkered past, which I'm learning about. Blippi has 7.4 million subscribers. Pretty good. Pretty solid. What's that CPM looking like?

I don't know. But some of his latest video. Let's see. He does like 20 mil. Oh, this one's 63 mil. 25. 2.05. 205. Holy shit.

Do we think YouTube might be doing what Facebook did with inflating post likes? No, because their views are 30 seconds and Facebook's were one. Yeah, his video that's called Learn Colors and Numbers for Children, it has 205 million views. It's two years old. That's good evergreen content if you want your kid to learn letters and numbers. These are big boy numbers, the big boy stack of YouTube views. Well, I had to inform Dylan that the thing that really put him on the map

was his Harlem Shake video. Do you remember the Harlem Shake, Dylan? Oh, do I, Dave? The Harlem Shake's a couple of things it's a dance but it's also a a um a viral meme video sensation that all sorts of companies from across the world took part in i'm we should probably it would probably be on brand for us to do one right now but you remember it had like the the build-up and the beat drops and everybody goes crazy and there's like a dude wearing wild stuff in the corner.

Before you speak badly of Blippi, you should know that the homie loves Blippi. All right? I'm not speaking. I believe in redemption. Whatever you say. I am not speaking badly. It could get around to Parks. It could hurt his feelings and he could hold it against you.

From BuzzFeed News. I'm not going to feel bad for holding Parks Heroes accountable for their past actions. Okay. As long as you know what you're getting yourself into. In this climate, the truth hurts sometimes, Dylan. I believe in redemption. BuzzFeed News. Kids YouTube star Blippi regrets the viral video

in which he poops all over his friends. Why is that something that you would put on the internet? Hold on, Dylan. And how long ago? I put some respect on Blippi's name.

Parks would definitely find that funny. Yeah, I think he would. He's not going to watch it. HarlemShakePoop.com It's not up anymore in case you want to try it. The Harlem...

This is from BuzzFeed. Harlem Shake meme went viral in early 2013 one person one person dances to the softer part of the techno song harlem shake by bauer i didn't know that's who sung who did that song then the beat drops and a jump cut reveals a whole crowd of people dancing wildly maybe in costumes that's fun everybody did it i think grand x did one early on didn't they you? You were there. You're part of it. The entertainer, then known as Steezy Grossman, put his own spin on the meme. In Harlem Shake Poop, set in the interior of a sparse bathroom with a shower stall,

you see him sitting on a toilet, pants down around his ankles. He's wearing a tank top, sunglasses, and for some reason a bicycle helmet. He gently shrugs his shoulders, rolling his arms to the beat. Sounds pretty standard to me. The beat drops and suddenly the video cuts to Steezy standing sideways on top of the toilet seat, fully nude now except for the helmet and sunglasses, on the floor. A friend whose identity is not known leans against the wall in a contorted shoulder stand, his head and neck on the floor, his hips in the air, his legs dangling down.

He is also fully nude except for goggles and a swim cap. A black bar has been edited over his genitals, blocking out not just his penis and scrotum, but also the full taint and b-hole. This is BuzzFeed news. I did not. What? After a few seconds of dancing on the toilet it happens steezy emits an explosive stream of shrit shit a

cacophonous eruption that sends feces splattering across the room in a shotgun like spray of poo pellets shit hits the wall of the glass shower door and the floor and a sizable chunk hits the intended target the spread-cheeked ass of his friend. I'm done reading this. Yeah, I think we've heard enough. So has Park seen that? Yeah. No, he hasn't.

Dave, you should show him. It's so strange. I can't find it. It's so strange. I have seen it. I remember when it first came out. Someone trying to make a career as a children's YouTube guy would think it's a good idea to put something like that on the internet.

Well, I think this is in his earlier years. He was still working out some new material. Okay, he's 31 years old right now. It went viral. Harlem Shake was what, like six years ago? Seven? 2013. So, yeah, seven.

Seven. He was 22. He was 22? Well, you said he's 29 right now. yeah, seven. Seven. He was 22. He was 22? Well, you said he's 29 right now. No, he's 31. I heard that wrong. So, you know, too old to be making these kind of egregious mistakes. With a name like Steezy Grossman, you got to just fucking do it.

Dude, Steezy Grossman. It says here his name is Steven John. How's John spelled? Like J-A-W-N? Steven is spelled S-T-E-V-I-N. No! I don't like that at all. No! That's worse than Will with one L. What if they had Brett with one T? Wouldn't you be weirded out?

Hate it. Steezy. He has multiple names. I'm not sure. You gotta think Steezy Grossman's his birth name. Anyway. I can't believe you weren't up on that controversy. Yeah.

I should start looking into the backgrounds of the people that he's watching. It doesn't matter. On the tube. Why are you not vetting the YouTube sensations that Parks is obsessed with? He's such a well-known character. Kids will love him. He's done a good job of wiping it from the net. Wow.

This was something that definitely got tossed around in a group text with high school friends. I feel like that's where this kind of stuff gets a lot of play. I'm scared of that group text you're in. It's pretty much just Flounder doing ridiculous shit. I'm going to start texting him. He's in Mexico City. I saw that. Shout. He's killing it. Shout.

I want to do Mexico City. He's going to be here. Oh, I could tease that. He'll be here this month. Might be on the pod. Probably will. Maybe we'll do a little vid content. I go live. Go live, bitch. I didn on the pod. Probably will. Maybe we'll do a little vid content. Okay. Okay. I go live. Go live, bitch. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry.

Should we do this weekend in fun? Yes. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, shit. It is Wednesday, isn't it? Sure is. Yeah, the weekend's

like pretty much here. Dylan, start us off. Gladly. It's not going to be very exciting, but I'll share my plans with you. Friday, I have parks. We're just going to be very exciting, but I'll share my plans with you. Friday, I have parks. We're just going to be chilling, man.

Looking for something to do. And I know it's Valentine's Day. How's this Valentine's situation? Well, that's Friday. I think they're exchanging Valentine's. They have Friday off for some reason. National holiday. Valentine's Day. I don't know. Do they have Monday off, too? They have Monday off, too.. National holiday. I don't know.

Do they have Monday off, too? They have Monday off, too. Four-day weekend for the homies. Four days? Four-day weekend. Wait a minute. I don't know about that. So I think he's handing them out tomorrow.

Wow. Is he prepared? Does he have his eye on anybody? I'll talk to him about it. Yeah, he does. Yeah, dude. He's got a crush. Let's go.

We're just going to be chilling man it's val valentine's day somebody i just don't want to expose him okay so uh we might we might go to pine house who knows wow i get wild with it dude get crazy um saturday and sunday oh saturday i have nothing sunday uh parks his mom his mom and i are taking him to Houston. We're going to go to NASA. Really? Can I go? You want to come with? Yeah.

I've never done that. I want to do it. I have been, but I was a kid. And I remember it being really cool a long time ago. Hopefully they've... Yeah, I'm excited, man. I'm excited for myself. He's going to absolutely love it.

He loves shit like that. So, yeah, that's our sunday plan and that's it i got nothing i'm pretty wide open really i'm pretty excited about it too i think the weather is going to be better i think it's supposed to be pretty clear maybe get outdoors maybe i'll hit my new spot boldenen Acres again. I'm not opposed to it. Dude, you're like living there lately. Although I will not drive. Do not try to park there

during their busy time. They're parking like stinks. And people illegally park. And I don't like it. Yeah, nothing major. Pine House sounds good. I've been craving some za. So I don't know if you were,

who you're going with, but I kind of invited, I'm inviting myself to that. You probably have plans because it's Friday. I was thinking for Friday. That's when I have parks. Oh, for Valentine's Day? It's called Valentine's Day, David.

Oh, yeah. Fuck. You just exposed yourself for having no Valentine's Day plans in motion. Actually, I got invited to do Valentine's Day mats with y'all on the mail-in. Thanks for listening. Yeah, I don't know why Sally did that. I'm not going to Mets this weekend. You say that.

So many people have said, I'm down with Mets, myself included. Dude, if Sally wants to go to Mets. I'm tired of feeling like shit the next day. If Sally wants to go to Mets, you're going to Mets. Not going to Mets. 100%. Not going to Mets. I already vetoed Mets tonight, by the way.

Get those shrimp tacos that Dave's been talking about. It's not the entrees. It's the queso. It's the queso. Just don't get the queso. Queso's bad. No, it's hard not to. If it's on the table, and if I'm with any member of the Young family,

queso will be on the table. It's just very difficult to avoid it for me. It's a vice. Just ride the Peloton before. No. You do a pre-workout. No, that's worse. Then you're going to burn it off.

You're just going to burn all that stuff. That's how it works. I get stupid hungry after working out. I know. I turn into a monster. You work out, you go eat, and you don't feel as bad eating the shit. I want to avoid it altogether. Yeah, okay, Dylan.

If you're going to do Pine House Friday, I can't go. I figured. I just uninvited myself. Yeah, unfortunately, that's the only weekend night that I will have parks. All right, well, up yours, buddy. I'm sorry, man. What do you want me to do? I don't know.

Hey, I'm free Saturday day. Let's link. I could link with you. Okay. Cool. I think the weather's going to be decent. Yeah. What, Brett?

I don't know. I have a big weekend, though. Go ahead. You can't link with us. You're not going to even be here. I'm going to be in H-Town. Stop looking like you want to link when you know you can't. I want to link so bad.

But I'll be in H-Town. Big weekend. First Valentine's Day with Caroline. Oh, wow. When you got planned. We're both not super into the whole Valentine's Day celebration stuff. No one hates it more than Dylan. Let me just put that out there.

Be careful, man. No one. Be careful. I still have some things up my sleeve. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. I'm just saying. Be careful.

Yeah. Is she not into it or is she not into it in quotes? Believe me. Either way, we'll be all set. Just be careful. And then I'm meeting her folks. Have you already met the folks? I met her mom. Oh, okay'll be all set. Just be careful. And then meeting her folks. Have you already met the folks? Met her mom.

Oh, okay. So doing dinner at Gloria's crib, trying to get her to go optimized. Are you going to bring any gifts for this excursion? You can't show up empty-handed. Bring her some merch. I bring a bottle of wine everywhere I go. But is that played out at this point? Bring her the Boners Happen t-shirt we're going to make.

Boners Happen. I won't bring that. She doesn't listen to this, does she? Yeah, she does. I don't know. She certainly does. Her mom's a huge listener. What's her name?

Gloria. Don't bring her that. It's to you, Gloria. Thanks for listening. I told her, yeah, she's a big Dylan fan, so. Really? Yeah. She named it to the Van Morrison song?

I'm a big Gloria fan. I thought that was the. fan. Really? Yeah. She named it to the Van Morrison song? I'm a big Gloria fan. I thought that was the... Gloria! Oh, no, I was thinking that you were doing the St. Blue's Blues thing. No. But yeah, big weekend in Houston. So can't wait for that. Leaving tomorrow night.

Should be fun. Oh, just taking Friday off? Yeah, it must be nice, man. I'll be... Caroline has to work, so... Oh, you'll be available? I'll be at the Starbucks down the street from her place. There's probably a better place than Starbucks to go.

She's in, like, the suburbs of Houston. Not suburbs, but, like, not in the... River Oaks? Bel Air? Bel Air, yeah. Yeah, I know some dudes from there. Good dudes. Got it, yeah.

Yeah, I know some kids from Memorial. That is fucking sick. I don't know what Memorial is. fucking sick i don't know what memorial is yeah i don't know i'm just saying there's better coffee houston has a great diverse eclectic food and i assume that extends to coffee okay yeah i'll probably have to find a good coffee spot then if you have any coffee shop recommendations uh west of downtown houston let me know let me know cool Let me know. Cool, cool.

I'm not doing shit this weekend. Man. We tried to make some reservations at some of our favorite restaurants on Friday, but we did that way too late. So, it looks like we're doing an at-home Valentine's Day.

I heard y'all going to Matt's, though. People are talking lobster. Whoa. People are talking. Not me. Sally wants to do it. I was like, you know, let's fucking do it.

God, I think they're going to hike the prices up for Valentine's Day, though. You're not getting that $14 a pound on Valentine's Day. Lobster, man. It's good. You and the homie want to come over and crack claws? No, no, no. We're good. You sure?

Yeah, we're good. Premier League's back this weekend. That's big for your boy. My morning can officially restart. Soccer was fun last weekend, not going to lie. Even though EPL was on a little break and there were some shitty games on, I had a lot of fun. I might start watching the Italian League, Dave,

if you want to get into that with me. I've already been watching it. Really? Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. Who's your team? Milan. Which one?

FC. You got so close. Okay. Okay. Who's your team? Milan. Which one? FC. You got so close. AC. Yeah, there you go. There you go. That's what I said. The Athletic Club. Yeah.

Athletical. That's another one. No. It's a different one. I've been watching it, though. Did much better than I would have, Dave. Good job. Well, you know, I used to live there.

Dylan's a big fan of the Portuguese league. Oh. Yeah. You thought we were going to make it through without getting to that. Porto. It's crazy that they... I didn't understand the point I was trying to make. No one knows, unless you're an opto or...

Weirdly enough, I was listening to a podcast this morning on the way in where they were talking about how Portuguese sounds, and they were like, yeah, it sounds like people are speaking Russian. Really? That's not what I was expecting. No, I would have think Spanish. That being said, neither of these guys are English guys, so I don't really trust that they're heavy into the Portuguese dialect, so I can't put credibility on that, but it

does make you think. That's fair. If we have any Portuguese listeners out there, we would really appreciate leaving a voicemail in the pipeline. Here's the point. In your native dialect. Here's the point I was making. Portugal.

It's all right, Dylan. Neighboring Spain, which is a bigger, more globally influential country. It wouldn't surprise me. I don't know about that, dude. It wouldn't surprise me. I feel like you're disrespecting Portugal. What do you have against them? If the Portuguese culture was just completely engulfed by Spain and the language, Spanish,

for those who don't know, it wouldn't surprise me if it became widely used there. That's a point I was making, folks. I like Portugal. I think Portugal's pretty chill. I've always said that I like them and their people. That's cool. Unlike some people.

Anytime you can cuck a coast from a country, you're kind of a badass. Whose coast did they cuck? Spain's. Spain's. I mean, Spain still has northern and southern coasts, but they did cuck their western coast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They were pretty influential in the colonial period when they were sailing all over the

fucking world. Dylan won't give them any credit. Cristiano Ronaldo, is he Portuguese? Sure is. Oh, he's very Portuguese. What does he speak? I bet he speaks four languages. He speaks Hungarian.

Everybody over there speaks multiple languages. He does not speak English that well. Or do you think he does? He just does it so he doesn't have to talk to reporters every five minutes. That would be smart. He did the sneaker shopping on Complex. You guys ever watch those? I have.

Who did the cringe one? One of the Kardashians? Gigi Hadid. No, no. Her sister, Bella. Bella. Sorry, sorry. Yeah, you can get it.

You can get it. That was bad. That was a bad one. That's the same thing, right? Yes. Okay. I've never turned south on somebody quicker than I did with that video. It was so bad.

It was really bad. Yeah. I do like those videos but yeah he yeah but uh Cristiano did one and he didn't I don't think he spoke much English in it he played in England for like a long enough time you'd think he'd pick that up but whatever it is what it is well that was a fun pod fun way to end off and podcast week is okay podcast week week is far from over, David. Really? We're extending it. Well, we have a pod tomorrow that we're recording. Oh, fuck.

You're right. If I may, I do have a piece of breaking news that I'm pretty excited about. This better be good. Is this watch media related? This better be good. Dave, we'll choose your adventure here. Okay. Do you want to go aliens?

That's it. Are we storming Area 51? Sounds like I don't have any other choices. Back on? You all want to go aliens. Yeah. According to sciencealert.com. That doesn't sound legit.

You're just pulling up sketchy websites today. Yeah, it sounds goopy. A powerful radio signal from deep space appears to be repeating on a 16-day cycle. I've seen Contact. Me too. I know how this ends. Jodie Foster? We build that little thing and no one believes her and it's kind of a letdown for everyone who paid money for the movie.

What's deep space? It's just real far away. It's just far as fuck. Like how many light years? You got to think like 100. I'm trying to find the light years, but... They should have that dude who just broke the sound barrier

or whatever in the transatlantic flight just hop in a ship and just go find that fucking alien. They've been... Go figure it out, dude. You're fast. You're quick. Just go do it.

Looking at this signal for 409 days, and it's been repeating consistently every 16.35 days for that duration. What is being repeated? A radio signal. So they're picking up a repeating radio signal. FRB180916.JO158. Is it like a morning talk show? Bone in the morning.

Hello, Earth. Is that how they sound? Yeah, it could be. Dave and Dorn in the morning. Is this where we're announcing our- Radio guy voice? Our Tim Duncan morning show. Talked about that. Good morning with Tim Duncan. guy voice? Our Tim Duncan morning show. Talked about that.

Good morning with Tim Duncan. Fundamentals with Tim Duncan. Wait, what? So is there like an explanation? Is there any explanation? Yeah, it's coming from the outskirts of a spiral galaxy 500 million light years away. You got to think that's far. Wow.

It's too far to get to. I don't completely understand how light years work. How are we picking that SIG up? They're just pointing a telescope or a radio satellite at it. It's far, man. It's far. It's far. But hey.

What if they're trying to reach out to us and say something? Trying to link and build. I'll shoot the article your way so you can decipher the code. What if they decipher it and it just says, Dylan, your gut biome is trash. Dylan. It'd be a weird thing to send.

And they whispered it. If they have one thing to say to Earth, you've got to think that's not it. Welcome to Earth. What if they speak Portuguese? I wouldn't be able to translate.

That'd be news to Dylan. Just write him off pretty immediately. That was good breaking news, Brett. Yeah, I like the aliens. I enjoyed that. That was good breaking news, Brett. I was a little worried when you only had one story. I had multiple. Sometimes less is more and that was good.

Will didn't ask for it. If you guys don't want to hear about the top 10 places to live in the U.S. from Curb.com right now, the answers may surprise you. Is Austin in the top 10? No, it's not. What is it? Top 10 what? Top 10 best cities in the U.s to move to right now need to know like how you even like quantify and qualify

that well they said here's our criteria dave walkability park access diversity housing costs job opportunities and more you gotta think austin's getting killed by diversity. I bet you Houston's up there. Or lack thereof. Houston is not. Oh. What Texas city is any? Dallas. Ha, what's up? That's interesting.

The hub of diversity. Ha ha. Dang, Will. Dallas not diverse? No, I'm kidding. Just the stereotype of rich white people in Dallas. It's just all the people you know other than me. Yeah. All the yuppie scum. Yeah, like if you looked at the people in Dallas. It's just all the people you know other than me. Yeah.

All the yuppie scum. Yeah, like if you looked at the people in Dallas that I know, it's embarrassing, the demographics of that. It's okay. Well, it's number one. Give us the... It's alphabetical because I think in 2020, they're not allowed to do like, you can't ruffle feathers with a ranking.

You definitely can. I'd want to. I see that shit all the time. They'd get more clicks if they fucking ranked it. I agree. But Arlington... Oh, God. Get out of here. You definitely can. I'd want to. I see that shit all the time. They'd get more clicks if they fucking ranked it. I agree. But Arlington. Oh, God. Get out of here.

Arlington stinks. They don't even have public transportation. Arlington, Virginia. Okay. Oh, okay. Okay. Before you jump down the throat of Arlington. We're all ready to pounce on Arlington.

We've all, yeah. Boise, Idaho is on the list. Why did you just do that face, Dave? Shout out to our Boise, Idaho people on the list. Why did you just do that face, Dave? Shout out to our Boise, Idaho people. Charlotte, North Carolina. Okay. I'm into that one. I love Charlotte.

What about Raleigh? It's on there too, Dave. How about North Carolina? Get some love. Denver, Colorado. Great city. I've been there recently. Dillon.

Dillon, Colorado. Madison, Wisconsin. Oh. Heard good things about that one too Yeah, big I've never been Would like to Shots to the Badgers

Minneapolis Been there Seems a little cold Gets cold out there Super Bowl week was Was next level cold Dave, Provo, Utah Love my Utes

I don't think I'm on that Raleigh I don't know where Provo is. Honestly, I've never heard of it. Is it the capital of Utah? Is it? I just ain't moving to Utah. Yeah.

Catch me going skiing in Park City. I do want to ski in Utah. Get me in, get me out in Utah. Park City sounds tight. I'm not trying to linger. And last but not least, Will DeFreeze. St. Louis, Missouri. Have I been a noted St. Louis hater?

I probably have been more than Will. Yeah, I just, I don't know. I feel like, aren't you a Detroit, St. Louis, like, rival kind of thing? No, in order to be a rivalry, like, they kind of need to step it up a little bit. How many Stanley Cups? For who? For the Blues? I think just the one. Just the Uno? It's cute. It up a little bit. Look at this guy. How many Stanley Cups? For who? For the Blues? I think just the one.

Just the Uno? It's cute. It's a cute number. Just one. Brett Hull got one. Yeah, I think they got two, right? They have one from like the 90s. Did they?

No. No, they did not. Because you took all of them. Yeah, you should. I mean, if you want to run it back and see the game seven where Steve Eisenman put one top titties, you can go look that up right now. How many does Troy have? A lot.

You know the number? No, I don't know the exact number. Shouts to Jay Bomeester, by the way. Hope he's okay. St. Louis Blue, who collapsed on the bench last night. Scary moment. And they postponed the game. Apparently he was alert and conscious on the way to the hospital,

but hoping he's okay. And the Sabres beat the Red Wings last night, by the way. All right. Dylan, we have 12 Stanley Cups. I was going to guess 11. That's a lot, dog. So many. Is that the most?

Has to be. No, the Canadians got to be the most, right? Oh, yeah. They just had a fucking run. Stars only have one, but you know what? We've only been in Dallas since, like, 92, so. Yeah. The Blues have just been there. Like, just like if yeah proportion if you look at our engagement it's actually really good even though we don't have the followers y'all were the north stars right minnesota

okay that's weird that they moved a team out of that hockey country to uh go to dallas pretty genius it worked yeah Look at me. I don't know what that means. Yeah. We could go now. All right, let's get out of here. Check us out on Patreon, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. We'll be doing listener voicemails on Friday.

A little more stuff next week. More stuff at watchmedia.com. Dylan? Bye.