Circling Back - Pay Pigs & Lost Subs

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

Are we Pay Pigs? Will they ever find this submarine? Are we all about to absolutely lather ourselves in beef tallow all summer? Is Intern Klein getting married in Austin this weekend? Answers to those questions and more can be found throughout today's episode. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:00) Titanic Sub Update (33:30) On Our Health Girl Sh*t (40:00) This Weekend in Fun ft. Intern Klein Support This Episode’s Sponsors Miller High Life: www.millerhighlife.com/washed EveryPlate: Get $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code steam49 Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) EarnIn: Download in the App Store! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin texas my name is will defries to my left, Mr. Big Tex himself, David Roth. We got a scandal of brewing. Come on. I don't know if you guys have seen this. This is hot off the press. It's not looking very good for one Ron DeSantis. Ron DeSanctimonious.

Meatball Ron? Oh, no. Meatball, what are you doing, dog? This is the one that brings him down. Meatball Ron. It doesn't say that, but I'll say it. Meatball Ron donor supplied golf simulator for Governor's Cabana and private flights. I always say, I always say, if I'm a politician, you got to draw the line at getting a golf simulator.

Isn't that why you become a politician? Just to get cool shit like that? For some. Someone offered me a golf simulator. Clarence Thomas out here just looking over like, that's it? That's all? Golf simulator is tight. You're going to say no to a golf simulator?

No, you can't. Think about the way my game is i need a golf stimulator dave russ swing academy doing real numbers if you get a what semi in there don't fucking look at me like a semi he said why yeah were you saying you wanted a golf swing you later they're calling a mud ball ron mud ball it It's good. It's good. It's okay. It's good. It's not his best work. It's fine.

It's good. Yeah, there's eight people out there that really are into that. We got Mr. Live Above Par himself, Dylan Chivry, in the building today. Live Above... Okay. It's like podcasting, but louder. Got it. Got it.

Looking at an afternoon cup of bing bong folks oh i should have got that their cup of the day daddy needed a little gas to get to this episode can i ask a question i guess it's it's relevant to your coffee is it out of bounds if i if we i message the intern to bring me a cup of coffee i think it it is. That's disrespectful, dog. I think it is. That's disrespectful. It's not an interoperability. Because then you're forever the guy who was ordered an intern

to do the most remedial task. We never do that. We never do anything like that. No, no. That's because we're nice people. I know, but I just don't want to interrupt the show. And now I'm jealous of this man's bing bong. You can text our special guest, who will be arriving in a little bit,

and ask him if he will make you a cup of bing bong and bring it into the stew. Because he's going to sit down right why don't you ask him to stop on the road and get one isn't he out near waco away right now yeah he's probably why don't we have him just go pick up some some bong he might be at that buck he's in temple i'm still absolutely struggling to acclimate with my new coffee machine at home boys your creamer my creamer no no that's the creamy david that makes ice cream you on that drip shit i'm on that drip drip and i have to admit i got a heavy hand with these pores man like it's too much caffeine i think i gotta turn down the strength

you could just do a pour over just bypass the whole machine aspect of it all together and just pour over yourself what if you pour it over into the creamer or creamy we could make coffee flavored ice cream would you guys like to come over and make some coffee flavored ice cream coffee flavored ice cream dude i think it's pair well we could do we could do a coffee gelato what's that new dessert that has coffee flavoring that you're affogato domo arregato affogato i gotta stop referencing that sauce twice this week. What's up? David, just shut the fuck up.

You're the one who always does it. Just shut up. God, you bring that kind of shit to the show and people get mad. It's a power color clash you have going on there. Y'all must have awful forgot. A what? A power color clash? It's a color clash?

Blue on black. We got the colorblind dude calling out your colors. Yeah, he has no clue what I'm wearing. That hat is Navy, is it not? Yeah, you're correct. You're correct. Keep cooking. Keep cooking. What color is this shirt? Your shirt is not a true royal, but it's closer to royal than it is to a Navy. It's pretty true royal,

I think. Dallas Cowboys blue. Dallas football Cowboys. Is it? I don't know. That ain't Cowboys. Blue Mike. I assumed. Yeah. Anyway, you look good.

I'm just saying. Do the Cowboys have like an actual Pantone color? A Pantone color? Yeah, I'm probably asking this to the wrong people. Yeah, dude. We can... You're asking the color. I don't even know what Pantone means.

What does that mean? It's like a set of colors. They all have their unique codes so that they can be identified. It's color way to me. They got shivery gray. Dude. Because you see in gray scale. You don't see color.

Do you go around making fun of disabilities all over town? No, no, I don't. Because Dave knows that I have one symptom of dyslexia and that I struggle with my lefts and rights. And ever since I found out that that was a symptom of dyslexia and that I struggle with my lefts and rights. And ever since I found out that that was a form of dyslexia, I've stopped. Way to bring that up, dude. Well, why don't you go ahead and pull the tape

on all the times I made fun of you for that, which is zero. Don't even bother looking right now. Found out this weekend my sister-in-law has the same issue. Really? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Damn.

Famously. That's wild. Yeah. What a small world. Yeah. Same genes. No's wild. Yeah. What a small world. Yeah. Same genes. No, I'm not. I'm not blood related to her.

Like, I married into the fam. Oh, I thought you said, oh, I missed the in-law part. She doesn't rock mugsies. The only jeans I wear are mugsies, yeah. Hey, for real. Dude, for real. That's a sponsor today. Dude. Low key. What's a sponsor today. Dude.

Yeah. Low key. What if they're presenting this week at a fun, yo? That would be wild. I think we're about to be on something different this summer. Oh, is it another blank summer that we need to know about? I've been getting the feeling that it's about to be pay pig summer. Really? Oink, oink, motherfuckers.

Pay pig. I'm on my pay pig bullshit this summer like ladies every single dollar of expendable income i earned this summer is going to some young lady out there i don't even know yet somebody hit me with the cash app you're just firing off stacks yeah we had a good quarter i've got some money to blow i don't want to spend it on my family i'm looking to just give it away to a stranger yeah you just wanted to give it to an e-girl i'm on my small baller pay pig shit though you're you're uh pay pigging on a budget on a budget you're a pay piglet dude come on dog you i'm on the whole hog baby yeah yeah i'll shut up send you 750 for that ice cream

if you want it though yeah i'll get you i'll get you some you $7.50 for that ice cream if you want it, though. Yeah. I'll get you some paper towel up your Amazon wish list or something. Hell yeah. Yeah. I'll get you an essential. If you're a school teacher, I'll buy you some Kleenex for your classroom. There it is, man. I can't afford that makeup you have on your Amazon list, but I can afford the essentials for sure. That ain't it.

For sure. You want to treat yourself to a nice Gildan t-shirt? Yeah. I'm your guy. I've got an old Samsung TV that has a small issue but can be fixed for $200. It's in my garage. I'll hit you with that. Wow, that's some pay pig shit.

Oh, what's up, shorty? Drop that Venmo. That's why I didn't get- I'm going to request you for my lunch today. Oink, oink, bitch. Because I'm a pay pig. I get it. Yeah, I get it.

I get it. I get it. What is a pay pig. I get it. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I get it. What is a pay pig? From what I understand, and I'm new to the term, I learned it about, I don't know, three hours ago. It's someone who just sends money. A man typically sends money to a young lady hoping to get her attention. This says, July 17, 2022, business insider, not the insider site

that you frequent, Dylan. Pay pigs are generally men who enjoy the humiliation of sending women money without getting anything in return. That's what's up, dude. Can you imagine if that was your thing? Tell me that's not us and our vibe this summer. Can you imagine if that's how you got your rocks off?

Dude, I'm out here buying just like $3 signed dinners for baddies. Whole squad's humiliated. Sorry, mom, turn this off. I'm not doing that actually. I don't want to be humiliated. Some guys are into it. Can I read you a little bit of

this Esquire piece about a pay pig? Yeah. When you pay pig, you are more than anything paying for access to the woman's time i had never had so much luck with girls but with i don't know what that is find thems on twitter i finally had the opportunity to spin doms fin doms what is that i don't know what that word i think it's like a is that it's financial It's financial domination, Dave. They're fin doms. Okay.

So that's not a word I should have known? They have financial domination and they control worthless pay picks. Everyone knows this. Someone's new to their pay picks. Yeah. Oh, come on, dog. I'm just dipping my little curly Q tail in there. Don't they have curly Q penises too?

You're dipping your snout? Yeah, I think they do have curly Q wieners. Yeah, I'm dipping my little curly fry in the water. Yeah, they got corkscrew Ds. I wasn't indulging my fetishes with my girlfriend. She knew I had a foot fetish, but she hated feet. I can only imagine how she would have reacted if I asked her to knock me out. I don't know.

Knock me out, baby. I don't know what that means. Does that just mean drain your account? This is where it gets sad. Around Christmas, I got my big year end bonus. My big year end bonus. I had a gram of cocaine to myself and spent the week doing coke and sending money to a handful of girls.

Probably $4,000 total. It was a bad time for me. I'd lost control. Don't clip that. You don't say. You don't say. You lost a little bit of the control there, bud. That's tough.

I don't get that life, but hey, it's not for me to understand is meatball run a pay peg do you think do you think he's got a payroll of you know e hussies i don't know what he's up to yeah hey you want to come over and use my my golf simulator and then take all my money yeah i'll intentionally tank bets on my golf simulator for you, babe. Just take it. Just take the simulator. Are they hoping that the women will reach out and say, like, hey, thank you. No, that's the point, dude.

They like the humiliation of doing it and expecting nothing in return. They're just straight out pigs, dude. Yeah. That's some pig shit. Just live in the mud. Yeah. They were born in the slop. Damn.

Yeah. Eating corn and what do pigs eat? Anything. Ray makes corn. Corn makes whiskey. What happens then? Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky. Oh.

Are you guys ready for Will's five-star review? Of the week. Of the week. Sounds like it, yeah. This is from a familiar face, good friend, Cdubs34. Not Cdubs32 like you were thinking, Dylan. Okay. This says, Fajita Boy's swagging.

The OG Fajita Boy and his partners, not his sons, are back in the studio and cooking up heat. That is sticky. Sponsored by Early Birds. These podcast kings, they spelled king, kings with an apostrophe, Dylan. Oh, fuck. Have been on their game for a while now. Catch their weekends in fun now before it's too late.

Thank you, Cdubs34. We appreciate your patronage. Nice review, dude. Next time leave out the apostrophe detail. I didn't need that. Also, not to nitpick, we're not Podcast Kings. We're Podcast Pigs. Yeah, we're the original Podcast Pigs.

Drop your Vinny. We'll hit you up. We no longer do ad reads. We just send the listeners money. Yeah, we're the podcast. We're the original podcast pigs. Drop your Vinny. We'll hit you up. We no longer do ad reads. We just send the listeners money. Yeah. Yeah, let us... Please go put your Venmo on our reviews. But remember, we're pigging on a budget. Don't expect a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We need to be a little careful. Yesterday... It night when Alyssa tucks me in and she puts the blanket over me, she goes, my little pig in a blanket. Boink, boink. She knows she married a pig. Hell yeah, dude.

Look at you. You know you're a pig shit. Yesterday we did exactly five minutes. We put a free preview on this feed that you're listening to right now. Go check it out. If you're interested, go to patreon.com slash strictlybackpodcast. Get that opto tier. You can get regular episodes every week for $5 a month or $10 a month.

It seems like a good price to me. We got people out there like Netflix and stuff raising their prices. Not us. Same prices in the last five years. Pete Terry's raised their prices. Come on. Yeah. That's classic.

That's classic Terry, dude. Lunchflation. What if I told you that you don't need to budget your food expenses this summer? You don't need to worry about lunchflation, David. I'd be interested. What if you could get more bang for your bite with America's Best Value Meal Kit? Every plate is 25% cheaper than grocery shopping with no hidden fees, so you can count on great value week after week.

Plus, only pay for what you need with pre-portioned ingredients. If you're in need of a summer refresh, you can get invigorated for the season with their new curated collection of refreshing veggie-full recipes. I mean, I'm a pescatarian grind, so you know I love the veggie-full recipes. Oh, yeah. You can help yourself to feel good food like Feta Stuff salmon salads or a Mediterranean steak and rice bowl, or you can go for a nutritious and delish meals like the one-pan sweet chili turkey lettuce cups or one-pan chicken fajitas with pico de gallo. These are all 650 calories or less, my friends.

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Their meals are 50% cheaper than your average fast casual meal. Yeah, I said 50% cheaper. That's pretty good. It's pretty good for all the dinnerflation people out there just absolutely fighting for their lives. I'd say so. Put the money you save towards making fun summer plans. Who knows?

Maybe you even have a friend out there that just wants some money. You can send it to them. Not me changing every plate delivery address to some lucky young lady out there oh yeah oh yeah listen no no expectation hey dinner's on me tonight my mom recently reached out and she was like well what's that what's that uh meal meal company you've been using i want to do it i said every plate she's been loving it ever since she's been thanking me for doing that just so much food coming through the through the mail to her You just got to be happy about it.

Here's some big news for everyone at home, okay? You can get $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com slash podcast and entering code STEAM49. Yeah, that's right. Get started with EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to every plate.com slash podcast and entering code steam 49 that's up to a 110 value my friends every plate.com slash podcast steam 49 okay dylan it's finally time dude you finally made it how does it feel now i mean we've had a lot of news in the news cycle. Been talking about it, been tweeting about it. We've been podcasting about it even.

I don't know if you heard it on the Patreon, but it's finally officially time to discuss the Titanic submarine that is lost somewhere in the North Atlantic Ocean. Right now, based on my calculations from what I was reading yesterday, there's only about, at this time of recording unfortunately about six hours of oxygen left per what their actual thing said unless unless um at least one person has passed away in the submarine and then you get their oxygen too it's true so they might have gotten like an extra like 30 minutes out of that not to sound so morbid but

um the fewer people breathing oxygen it frees up more for the rest of the – How long has this thing been missing for? What's the actual time? Today's Wednesday. I think it's been missing since late Sunday. Okay. Okay. Because we've been talking about it all week, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I think Sunday. I wasn't in the office Monday, and I wasn't very online Monday, so I didn't see much. Can I step in here real quick? I'm reading that Thursday morning morning ish is the is the uh deadline for oxygen okay that's tomorrow this is according to yes i'm on the new york times live blog remember live blogs i don't think they're doing it from hooters but they should have they're not why are they how do you know they're not doing it from i just say they're not doing it you know what i shouldn't assume yeah do they have a countdown timer on posted

it like if any news site posted a countdown timer of the oxygen, that news site needs to get shut down immediately. I don't know. You can't be doing that. Catch me going over there and checking out the timer. Why are you rooting for these people to die? I'm not. I would love it if they made it.

You sneak you at them. Dude, most people on Twitter are rooting for these people to die. They won't say they're rooting for it, but most people on Twitter, based on the Twitter likes and the tweets that I'm seeing, people are having way too much fun with this. It's like when you go storm chase and you're like a tornado chaser. It's like it's just an F3. And you want to see one, but you're like at the same time, you're like, man, I do really want to see one, but it's going to fuck up this entire subdivision. Right.

Yeah. I never thought about this storm chasing from that yeah it's the duality of man okay i'm gonna get this viral clip that kxan is gonna beg me for in my dm i'm gonna put my watermark yeah so they can't use it unfortunately there was no damage from the storm yeah yeah it's too bad luckily only two people went down in the plane crash wow we only lost two lives guys so um i remember watching the 60 minutes on this yes i remember watching something on it and just being like man they don't seem like they're there yet yeah and there have been um people in the industry that have expressed concern over the entire

operation apparently there's just some some random pipes that they got from like a construction site inside of the thing in the 60 minutes video in the segment they did on it they showed parts of inside of the submarine and there are handwritten instructions like this lever does this and it's written with like a sharpie yeah yeah like okay there's a there's a 19 year old on this who's got like a billionaire dad and he got to go along it's like absolutely devastating he's not on there is he yeah there's a kid yeah there is well he's 19 there's also a kid of a son of a billionaire who's just tweeting through it well that's the real that's the angle i'd like to yeah like what he went to the he went to the blink 182 concert which i think it's okay to go i don't know

i think maybe you don't you don't post about it yeah maybe maybe you don't post through it did you see what else he tweeted? Yeah, he fell in love with a girl at the rock show. He said what? Did you see what else he tweeted? No. Hold on. I might have.

Yeah, I did. Some OnlyFans-esque type of young lady posted a video of her backside and said, would you like me to sit on you? And he said, yes, please. Like yesterday, he tweeted this. Yes, please. He also hit one with a you are perfect response. And then like four minutes later, please keep my family in your prayers. He also announced to all the ladies out there that he's single.

All eyes on him. He's got a big platform. I guess now's the time to be volume shooting this stuff before actual horrible news comes out. Isn't part of grieving? Horniness? Don't people get horny when they grieve? Yeah, they do. And he's maybe pre-grieving, so maybe he's pre-horny.

Call him Bryant Greaves because he's just putting up numbers right now in horniness categories. I thought maybe you were making a Tom Greaves reference, which would have been very obscure. I thought you were going Bryant Greasy for some reason. No, no, I was going Bryant Reeves, big country. Oh, okay. Great nickname.

Yeah. Every high school football team in Texas had a dude that the coaches called Big Country. You have to. You have to. And he was like 212 pounds. Yeah, he's just a white dude with a bad haircut. I'm thinking about calling – if we have a son for round two, I'm thinking about calling him Big Country. Okay.

Big Country to freeze. Take him out to Alpacas Way to be born. Yeah. And you have something behind it. Yeah. Or just put a little dirt underneath this oh dude he was born in the red dirt i guess i guess cardi b chimed in on the stepson oh good on the blink 182 thing and he's now tweeting at cardi b for that point of the you know i don't know i don't you know i'm not but here's the thing. I looked at a photo

of this guy. He's older. He's not like a kid kid. His 15 minutes are running out quickly, much like the oxygen. He doesn't deserve 15 minutes. Much like the oxygen inside that submarine. Stop! Stop! You don't have to make that connection. You know, there's some people out there who would make jokes about certain things about this. I'm not that type of person. I'm not making

jokes. You know, but if I were to make jokes about it, one of the first things I might bring up would be i don't know the controller that's used to steer this thing you know that might be where i start maybe we got to charge it yeah maybe it's like my controller and like the the battery life just you know isn't that great maybe whoever's using it got really frustrated and threw it against the wall inside the submarine and smashed it hey remember when you rage quit in the conference room playing NBA Jam? Yeah, maybe somebody rage quit because the submarine wasn't going,

wasn't moving laterally like they wanted it to. They can only see the Titanic through like a screen and you can't actually see it through the window? No. Is that a thing? I don't know, man. There's so much floating around out here. So much sinking, too. Dude, I mean, there's like one little porthole thing that's just like that big. Yeah yeah it's not that big everyone has to go to the that little you gotta

take turns with fucking what did steve over here i can't think of a worse way to spend 250 grand no that's it yeah remember when i got my year-end bonus oh you you pay pay is paper oh yeah would you okay yeah would you rather see the titanic and have a shortened life or would you rather be a certified pay pig i think i'd be on that pay pig bull i am what i am what i don't understand is like always has been a controller but then i'm reading something about like how they they do they did like testing with nasa to like make sure that the pressurization was right so it sounds like they did a lot of shit like really really by you know to go to houston or wherever nasa to like get tested and stuff and then it's like yeah by the way this is a controller can you imagine being the nasa employee

that like did this stuff with them they're just like what like you guys are serious with this what's up oh man oh man what a disaster i mean i think best case okay obviously best cases that they find them at this point yeah but if they're if they're not to be found alive best case is they just that thing just combusted and they're instantly died because if they're there down they're just suffering at the bottom of the ocean floor don't in pitch black i had to you know what i mean like that's that's a that's awful yeah so hold on there's people there's the whole dialogue going on of whether you'd be whether you'd rather be in the sub or you'd rather be in a spaceship floating through space endlessly and and it seems like it's heavy space i posed the question yesterday i've been training space

if you'd rather be stuck in this sub on the bottom of the ocean or if you're just in a space suit and like someone just pushed you out of the spaceship and you're just floating off into nothingness eventually you're gonna i don't know die of thirst like i look like like at least you have a better view your view is probably dope from out there you never yeah what's the what's the fastest way to die, though? That's my question. Taking your helmet off? You just pop that helmet off. Yeah, and you just suffocate.

So what happens if these people get, like, they float to the top? What happens, like, because it can't be open from the inside, so it has to be from the outside. So if they float to the top, like, do they- They still have to get found immediately. They still don't have any oxygen. Right.

Oh, yeah, it's not looking good. Okay, like, hey, anyone out there who currently has a trip scheduled to like go on a sketchy submarine to go see something underwater please just cancel it i'm not kidding when i say even if you paid me 250 grand i still would not get inside this thing well yeah knowing what we know now dylan no but even even so submarines have always freaked me out but a a small one like this. All right, I'm going to question that statement. With the Logitech controller. Have they always freaked you out? Submarines freak me out.

Dude, I get it. I think submarines are badass, though, dude. Being in an enclosed capsule underneath water, that's not for me. You remember that time I was on a submarine? You got left off the schedule? No, but Kelsey Grammer was there. And we ran up against like a russian sub just red october and uh we decided to sing louis louis and act like

we were just drunken sailors and it worked really dude that's a movie oh it's a movie i'm sure many people are familiar with did i nail it is that red october down periscope okay hunt for red october is actually pretty sick hunt for red october that's a good one that's one from my childhood where i was like too young to see it but i always wanted to it is about a submarine right yeah yeah it's about the time they left dave off the schedule dude dylan's been so into this submarine story they've been calling him jock who's blow because he does cocaine i don't what i don't do cocaine so the captain the captain was the the ceo correct the ceo of the company was captaining this i don't think so but i think they're the i think

the captain and the ceo are both on board, okay. So the first person that would see something goes wrong, like how... You're just like... Okay. Guys, don't freak out. Dude. We're lost. I don't know where we are.

Oh, my God. There was one guy on here who's done like 250 missions down to the Titanic before. What? Yeah. Yeah. Like, dude, you've been down enough in a submarine yeah apparently he's part of a company or a foundation that recovers parts of the titanic because i think the united states has rights to recover that kind of thing and they bring them back and put them on display but isn't that done robotically you just

have to go down there himself right well maybe maybe i misread it the text i'm famously not the best reader i don't think yeah i don't know if if going down there in person is like a regular thing i don't know when you're married that's pretty good let's talk about oral sex afternoon vibes straight up bing bong told you i'm on my pig shit we're in the we're in the pig pen so we call the studio now the pig pen dude oh we finally did it he launched 2.0 it's the pig pen oh dude dude. The pig pen. The pig pen sponsored by Miller High Life. The pig pen. Yeah, the sound thing, that would be smart.

That is a way for them to get noticed. Hopefully they got like a, I don't know what they would have. So they're banging down there? No, they're slamming something against the outside of the tube, Dylan, and hoping that one of the radar sonar picks it up i don't know it's not looking good i hope they're found and it's grief makes you horny we know that just saying corn makes whiskey as well again one guy's on there with his son so ultra sad they can just take turns covering their eyes mega sad scene i'm really glad my dad never offered this

when i was a kid because i would have said yes what's what would you rather hey serious question my dad's like yo you want to go to submarine down to the titanic i'd be like fuck yeah dad that sounds lit i wouldn't even go to lake michigan then he's like oh but it's two and a half miles underwater would you still say yes i wouldn't be able to fathom that dylan what's the furthest you can go the deepest you can go and say say you like have like a uh an emergency hatch you could get out and your head won't pop because of pressure like me like 10 feet my ears start to pop at 10 feet yeah like i'm not even kidding like i remember we had a 12 foot swimming pool uh at our old high school and like i remember going to the bottom of that

thing and coming back up and just fighting for my life. What was that? Oh, my God. Where's my head caving in? The worst, dude. Not a good situation. One time at a pool party. It was the end of Cub Scout. It's like the Cub Scout meeting. We had a pool party, and I was underwater.

I was diving for sticks, and I came up, and I came up under somebody who on a raft and i freaked out and i got out of the pool and i thought i was gonna drown i started crying i would have cried i would have cried have they thought about sending ll cool j down there okay because deepest bluest his his head is famously like a shark's fin yeah i don't know if they're gonna call ll cool j will i think we've reached the uh i think they're using the Coast Guard and shit, okay? How is he... I'm serious. I keep saying serious question.

I hate serious question, guys. But... It's a serious situation, Dave. When the kids were stuck in the cave, was that Philippines, Thailand? Was this the one where Elon called the guy a child molester? Did they have stalactites and stalagmites in there? Dude, I totally know the difference.

That Chile... It's too hot for Chile. Chilean miners. Do they have stalactites and stalagmites in there? Dude, I totally know the difference. That Chile, that was the Chilean miners. No, I don't. M-I-N-E-R-S. How would they make chili when they're stuck in a cave? Yeah. Way to go, Randy. They have all the ingredients. Yeah, like they're probably trying to eat like whatever they can find.

Elon was very much. He's trying to survive. Yeah, does anyone have any sprinkler cumin? Elon wanted to like, he was've got I've got these submarine these little like solo submarine things they can do and I don't know

it just seems like something he would inject himself into to like you know make it about him a little bit as he often does

he also famously called the guy a pedophile and the guy sued him for defamation yeah you shouldn't do that one of the guys in the submarine

no that's a completely different thing that'd be that'd be that'd be uh kicking a horse yeah we don't know that to show that i'm too online uh i saw a tweet from eve six's lead singer um that talked about how they even named the company like the name of a scandal ocean gate facts like that's that's what we would have called this had there been a scandal at at our hands still ocean gates the name of the company correct yeah yeah i'm making sure kind

of like watergate you familiar with that no they can't call it that it's a good name for this people just don't gate at the end of anything that's controversial yeah it's what this watergate effect right yeah yeah so which is a hotel david the whole Nixon situation. I'm sure you're familiar. Is it a nice hotel? It's fine. It doesn't look very nice. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. It's a three-star.

Really? I don't know. So it's probably playing for Texas. Got him. Oh, man. I'm just kidding. You got to actually recruit really well. Don't hate on three-stars.

I'm going to see three-stars on that team. Yeah. Three-star. You got to have three. You got to have some three-stars, man. They're hungry. You got to have a glue guy out there. Did you guys get tagged in that dog thing yesterday yeah the

dog kid you gotta have a lunch pail guy shout out to him you have a lunch pail guy out there can you imagine if you show up to your first day of like serving you look over and you got the dog kid next to you it's like oh i'm gonna be fine this kid's gonna hype me up the entire time wait was that the actual kid yes oh i thought that was just a kid doing like no that's the actual kid that makes it so much cooler i don't know which one we're talking about okay we got tagged something on instagram it is the kid remember the so-and-so dog oh that's that's that's well he's now uh he's in ranger school oh yeah and yeah they have him wants to play mlb that's the kind of guy that's the kind of guy you want on our forces our special forces you know he's got that dog there it is i'm more of a pig yeah he's

got that pig in him i can't stop thinking about this submarine man i can't stop here think about it think about it while i learn you something real quick okay you realize that life doesn't happen bi-weekly so let me ask you this dylan why should payday the money you earn can be in your hands today with earnin earnin is an app that gives you access to you or to your pay as you work up to a hundred dollars per day or up to 750 per pay pay period. Here's how it works. Just download the Earning app and verify your paycheck, then access up to $100 a day as you work and leave an optional tip. Any money you access plus tips are automatically repaid from your next paycheck. If I needed something like Earning, I would definitely use them because having the financial freedom to do things and

not rack up like debt and things like that, it's a beautiful thing. Make earnin' a part of your financial routine and join earnin's over three and a half million customers who say things like, when I think about earnin', I think about financial stability, security. It gives me a lot of peace of mind. Download earnin' today. Spelled E-A-R-N-I-N in the Google Play or Apple App Store. When you download the earnin' app, type in circling back under podcast when you sign up, and it'll really help our show. Circling back under podcast. Subject to your available earnings, daily max and pay period max. See earning.com slash TOS for details. Earning is a financial technology company, not a bank. Bank products are issued by Evolve Bank and Trust member FDIC. I think it's time we talk about a certain

tweet that has come across our timeline. This was put in the meme team group text last night, and I have conflicting feelings about this. Does anyone want to do a dramatic reading of this tweet? I vote Dylan.

I like that vote. This is from Savannah Vicario on Twitter. It's kind of a hot name. It really is. I'd be confused with Sadvana.

Yeah. Okay. And this is from Savannah. Ladies, if you're in a relationship, you need to be actively working on making your man

healthier in every way. This means no more seed oils. Dude hates seed oils. No sunscreen. No sunglasses. No microplastics. Natural remedies only.

If he vapes, just no. Trash is AirPods. Trash is fluoride toothpaste. Trash his AirPods. Trash his fluoride toothpaste. Trash his aluminum deodorant. Only organic produce. Get him blue light blockers. Cook him steak and burgers. Never let his phone touch his balls.

Replace his lotion with beef tallow. Get him taking magnesium because he's probably deficient okay add minerals and electrolytes to his water and finally 100 cotton underwear only how does this make you feel like a man like a pig why are we why are we anti-sunglasses? That's a good question. Why are we anti-sunscreen? Okay, I can at least guess on most of these. Sunglasses is the one that is really... I've been told to always wear sunglasses because your eyes can burn just like other parts of your body. And it ruins your vision if you're just constantly out in the sun with those sunglasses on.

And if they're squinting. If you're squinting, fine lines and wrinkles. There it is, Dave. 90% of age, I can almost tell. I don't understand why we can't wear sunglasses out here. I think it might be because you, much like your butthole, you can absorb a lot of vitamin D from the sun through your eyeballs. I know that's a liver king, John. I remember that.

No sunscreen I get from the perspective of don't use a sunscreen that has a bunch of additives and weird shit in it. Like I get that if he's taking that angle, but straight up no sunscreen, that's a reckless thing. I still have a burn on top of my feet. Cause I didn't use sunscreen this weekend. Real pigs wear SPF. Right?

Leather my pig body up dog. A little pig tail. Like, come on. No. Cotton. You can't 100 cotton underwear only a little pigtail like come on no cotton you can't say cotton underwear it it doesn't stay constricting really i didn't i'm not aware of this dude when i when i switched from from from hundo p cotton to like the elastic kind i don't know what it's made of doesn't matter uh it was a total game change i don't even look at the label oh my god i don't know what it's made of. Doesn't matter. It was a total game changer. I don't even look at the label. Oh, my God.

I don't even look. Because the cotton ones, they stretch out because you move around in them a bunch, obviously, and then they just stay loose fitting and they're gross. Yeah, I don't like that feeling. And then when you go to change your clothes at the end of the night or whatever, and they're all worn out and kind of baggy over your legs. They're terrible. They're terrible.

Yeah. I mean, living in a state where it's like regularly over 100 degrees these days you couldn't pay me to not have aluminum in my deodorant i'm putting all the aluminum in these pits right now i sometimes i just eat my deodorant stick with i get that aluminum straight to the system i want to feel it i do think it's interesting that savannah cooks steak and burgers for her man. Yeah. Big on red meat, apparently. Yeah, yeah. I thought red meat would fall in the no category.

Produce has to be organic, but red meat's fine. One thing doesn't fit on this entire deal, and it's burgers. Burgers. Like steak, you're thinking like, oh, you want like a manly outdoorsman. I mean, like a hamburger is obviously red meat too but just a burger i mean babe dylan obviously like i know what tallow is but there's some listeners at home who don't know what it is like can you explain that for them i don't want to mansplain it i obviously i know it i don't want to mansplain it that's big yeah dave just tell people what

it's animal fat baby animal fat thank you we all knew that it's rendered it's a rendered form of beef or mutton fat are you willing to replace replace your lotion, Dave, with beef tallow? This is one thing that's enticing. Yeah, this is something I would consider. I need to do the research, as I always do. Hey, Dave, while I was out of town this weekend, you went through a lot of beef tallow. You get it, Dave? You get it?

You can't, as a pig, as a pig, I have to... Why is there tallow all over the bed? What happened? Babe, what's wrong? You barely touched your beef tallow. Somebody tallowed me up and let me loose and they tried to catch me. Oh. When you grease up a pig.

Right. Right. Have you ever done a greased watermelon in a pool? No. I've done it once. Is this slang for something? No, you take a watermelon, you grease it up, you throw watermelon in a pool? No. I've done it once. Is this slang for something? No, you take a watermelon, you grease it up, you throw it in a pool, and you try to grab it. And it's like, it's everywhere.

Okay, we got to do this. We got to do the greased watermelon challenge. It's kind of fun. Yeah, let's make this a thing. Okay, can I go through this list and say things that I'm in on? Yeah. I'm not a seed oil guy. I'm avocado, coconut, olive. I don't know what i am i'm in on sunscreen

i'm in on sunglasses microplastics i know that's bad i don't really know i could possibly avoid it um natural remedies only i i do occasionally take uh medicine antibiotics wow things of that nature i know i'm on my cuck shit a real pig wouldn't do that no this pig this pig's going to the slaughterhouse uh air pods i don't own them but i'm not against them fluoride toothpaste interesting interesting hey is fluoride the stuff that's in the water that's like making the frogs what's going on? Hey, how come the pictures that she added to this tweet, they're both wearing sunglasses? Yeah.

What a hypocrite. And I think sunscreen, too, based on the complexion of the skin. If you're going to spend time out in the sun like that, you better screen up. Whatever. Imagine just having a big mason jar of beef tallow just next to your bed. Mm-hmm. Yep. And you just yep

ooh like that's the sound that's gotta stink right dave shows up to the office he's covered in beef tallow it's like dude dave why do you smell like beef right now my guy it's like a dumpster i didn't tell you guys it's a beef tallow summer never let his phone touch his balls that there might be something to that i don't know when i'm in my car yeah but when's the last time your phone touched your balls like my i mean i don't think she means like like restricted on the skin i'm just reading it i'm reading this like it's written something's going wrong something's going wrong if your bare testicles touch your yeah my if my nuts are just resting on my phone then we've we've done something bad it's like the photo you

shouldn't take it's like the laptop on your lap thing. Apparently, the heat can do stuff to your sperm or whatever. You can't drop the goggles on your own phone. I don't... No, I do. I am cognizant of where my phone is in the car. I don't keep it like between my legs. Because I'm like, you know.

My balls work fine. I know. I mean i've i've been able to procreate oh man congratulations thank you hey congratulations to you thank you david if i started to date someone and she had all these rules for me i don't know man she's a perfect 10 but she puts beef talon all over you i got news for savannah we've kind of we've kind of been on our mineral electrolyte in the watershed for a minute come on this is now breaking news come on i mean they may not be a current sponsor of this show she's like we still have about 100 years worth of liquid iv in our garage facts i'm gonna dm savannah ask her her thoughts on certain things i want to have her on scary dude 100 do it should i just get her on scaries no she's probably smarter than me and i'll end up

sound like a fucking idiot how do you acquire into everything you know what that makes a lot of sense i just fold how do you acquire a beef tallow you can buy it at the store can you i got a guy i got a guy whole lot of restaurants cook with i got a guy okay yeah i think brett's got a guy as well i think it's the same guy as a keg guy you can actually get a keg of beef tallow i gotta re-up on on beer and tallow player yeah come through man real pigs no real pigs no it's hard to get ever since we declared war on the tallow ban it's good it's good. It's good. Yep. I like that, Dave. It's good. It's really good.

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absolutely no risk in giving them a try. If you're in Chicago, Boston, D.C., or Austin, man, that sounds like a John Party song. Fucking bars. If you're in Chicago, Boston, D.C., or Austin, make sure to head downtown and check out their storefront as well. Easy vibes every time. Enjoy a beer while you shop. Got some big news today. We have someone that's been talked about on this podcast numerous times that listens to this podcast. His name big news today. We have someone that's been talked about on this podcast numerous times that listens to this podcast. His name's intern Klein. Klein, welcome to the program. Oh, boys. How does it make you feel that we've always made you just sound like you're, I don't know, like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo or Scooby. I don't really know which one.

It's a cartoon character. You know, it's fine. It's probably better than, you know, being accused of deepening my voice for my entire life that's true yeah yeah yeah that's a good point do you have any grievances regarding the program that you'd like to air before we talk about our weekends and fun i do but that list is so long i don't think we can fit that in an hour hey i miss your calls from the road where you would call and hit the pipeline for the voicemail episode and then like half the time you would just lose service in the middle of it and you'd be like hey why didn't you put on my call i'm like why didn't hear the second half so yeah i mean that's what happens when you're

driving through like kearney nebraska for the third time it's a great town home of the uh badgers right kearney yeah kearney way yeah good area nice area good area i own about four and a half acres up there oh kearney way yeah kear. Hey, you need to let me see that old deed. Make sure you got them minerals. I'm going to put a wind farm on it. A lot of money in that. A lot of wind out there, T. Yeah, T, they're farming wind out there, T.

I overlaid like the windiest, a map of the windiest parts of the country along with the cheapest parts. It was right on top of Kearney. You know what I did? No. I overlaid a map of the sloppiest parts of the country really and that's where i put my pig farm really your pig pen a pig pen really big fan of pig pen it's fun too soon it's fun having clown here because he missed the first 40 minutes of the

episode he has no idea what we talked about dude he ain't no pay pig it could have been the worst stuff ever and he's just like he's here he's happy to be here has no idea so what are you in town for buddy uh minor weekend not a whole lot going on just gonna play some golf um have a party with some friends i might say some vows of some sort so you get some tight naps in yeah no we're getting married we're getting married man that's good that's big let me be the first to congratulate you on that that's that's really big for you we're happy for you shit i'm happy to be here man who would have thought we're pretty excited too all grown stop i know this guy we've come a long way from the uh the intern klein years back when in the touching base days we sure have you've had a lot of fun you're famously looking uh trim in a good way how's the club head speed You know, I actually haven't played golf in like

two months. We'll find out tomorrow, but I would assume it's at least in the 140s. That's a sarcastic joke. This dude's got fast hands. We've seen it. I want to see some matches tomorrow.

Or Thursday, Friday, whatever day we want. Who cares? What's that workout routine been looking like? I want to see some matches tomorrow or Thursday, Friday, whatever. What day is it? You're playing golf. Who cares? What's that workout routine been looking like? Oh, boy. We tried it all.

A little fasted cardio in the mornings. I tried to channel my inner Dave in intermittent fast. Intermittently. I found that that just made me eat two lunches. Yeah. Because I was so damn hungry. So that didn't work. Okay.

But a lot of treadmill routines, you know. Do you do any, like, stationary bike with, like, trash bags all over your body or anything like that? Or is that for, like, tomorrow? I leave the Pelotons to you, Will. He got a sauna suit. Yeah.

You can get bladder Botox. He's going to pass out at the altar. Yeah, don't lock those knees, dude. No water at the altar yeah don't lock those knees dude no water don't lock the knees i'm like loki very nervous for just like the whole stand up there aspect and because you can't screw it up no you really get like one shot to not pass out yeah yeah and it's gonna be hot do you think you'll be more nervous than like in college when y'all played like stephen f austin or something i don't know they were usually pretty tough okay no i mean maybe i don't think i'll know until that morning so david you said it's gonna be hot dave was curious earlier if it was

gonna be outside the ceremony so ceremony is outside um very shady extremely shaded so we've got that going for you and it will be about 12 minutes long. Perfect. My brother is the officiant, and he has been told he has a time clock. Dylan, you were saying like 12 minutes is like the perfect amount for you. I don't think, I don't remember saying that.

About 10 minutes too long. You were saying that if it takes too long, you're just going to go inside and catch it on a monitor or something. Yeah, yeah. They're televising this, right? Go watch it. It's like the Royal Wedding. I can just put it on any news station and see just a bunch of stuff going on.

It's like Will and my grandma sitting in the AC just watching it from afar. Having a toddy just too cold from the AC. The main event for me right now isn't the wedding because I've never played Barton Creek where we're going out to play. It's kind of rude to say. Well, I mean, he's definitely excited. He hasn't played golf in a few weeks. Yeah. A few months, maybe.

Wait, so what was the question? Are we? Am I playing with these two knuckleheads? What's going on? This is your foursome. This is the foursome. We're playing with the group. This is big.

Why are you playing with us? Why not? Because of my boys. Okay. Dave, just go with it, man. We got the groove. Oh, man, I'm excited. That's a special force.

Hey, I'm going to have my Bluetooth speaker all ready to go. I mean, this is like all four members of Washed ownership. It's true. Are we going to be the first group off Friday morning? That's what I'm fucking talking about. You don't want to be middle group and just be stuck in the middle? We get to wait for the other groups behind us at the 18th and just, you know, David can pull his pants down and shit.

Yeah, you're always a wild boy. Please don't do that. I've traditionally never shown my little pig penis to the groups behind me. Your little corkscrew? Yeah. What do we have to look forward to when it comes to the menu of this wedding? Are we going to be selecting anything, or is this going to be an all-you-can-eat buffet situation

where Dylan can go back for as many hard-boiled eggs as he can get? I'm just going to eat slop the whole time, actually. It's a games dinner. I mean, it's buffet. It's help yourself, a little chicken, a little short rib. Oh, yeah. Short rib. Mashed potatoes, American cheese.

What about a Pesco option for our friend here? No, no, I famously eat meat once a week. No, if you're a pescatarian, you're not invited. Friday. Friday. Friday is my meat day. My sister-in-law is definitely invited. That's nice of you to invite your sister-in-law to your wedding.

She's a pescatarian, man. Congrats to her, by the way. She just had a baby like two weeks ago. Oh, that's swag. So, shouts. This one out here? No. Oh, okay.

No, no, no. My brother Clay's wife. Oh, okay. Yeah. Shoot, Clint's wife just had a kid a My brother Clay's wife. Oh, okay. Yeah. Shoot, Clint's wife just had a kid a month ago. Future sister-in-law. Right. Squad growing at a rapid clip.

Family getting after it. What's the format of the golf? Is it just we don't have anything? We're going to start on the first hole. We're going to tee off. I like that. I know. I like that.

Traditional. We're going to do that 18 times. Okay, so it's like golf but louder. We're going to do that 18 times. Okay. So it's like golf, but louder. What do you mean? Oh, format? No, it's just we have three tee times back to back to back. Got a little cool front coming through.

It's only going to be 99. That's nice. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Nice and crispy. 95 in Dripping Springs. Perfect.

It's going to be quarters in the morning. Probably pop it off hole one or two. Hole one? Why don't you put it on? You just got to put on that vibe. Just hit your first tee shot in it. Okay. No, dude.

I swing better with it. No, because if you hit a bad approach out of the first hole and you're wearing a quarter zip, it's immediate vibe change to take it off and be like, you know what? I'm going to feel better after this. I can't get a full shoulder turn with a quarter zip. I caught some sleeve in my grip. Yeah, dude. It's kind of restricting.

Obviously not row back because it's perfect. I might go mad low on friday dude i bet you will i bet you will dude it's a really easy course i've been playing really great lately yeah your game is super strong why are you laughing dog because you just play like shit lately man i don't know i don't know i've been playing a decent amount lately the pressure's kind of on for me to show up but like new course hot, hot weather, I think I'm going to shoot 96. Dude, we're playing with the groom. We're already playing with house money. It's true. It's true.

I'm going to have to get – But bring your wallets because we're playing wolf. Oh, yeah, I will. I'm keeping the numbers. I'm going to bring my phone too because if I get the car girls at, I could just start sending her money in a couple weeks. Yeah. I'm actually not going to bring my wallet because I'm just going to have some dudes pay for me the entire time oh my god i have my pig friends god klein you need to look up what a pay pig is after this or you can just listen to the rest of the episode listen to the whole episode

i'm gonna run this back yeah yeah you probably should uh-huh who's the biggest wild card going into this thing the wedding not the golf that's a good question you don't have to put anybody on blast but i'm assuming it's one of your rice friends uh no actually surprisingly enough i don't think it is the wild card of the weekend you guys know him it's my buddy sam andreason oh he's been known to tie one on yeah i'm a sam guy are we gonna have are we gonna have sam with his tie tied around his head at the reception oh he's got single. He's going to put the Jordans on and do a tie around his head. He's going to switch shoes.

Wasn't John Leguizamo on that? The wedding venue told us we can give them a watch list of people you're worried about. And they will monitor. I'm already on it. One man on it. That's great.

You don't want to find out that you're on the watch list of the wedding planner. Who's got the ox? Actually, you know, we finalized that on the drive down here. Lex and I did all of the music and everything. I didn't know you guys were musicians. We did, yeah. You guys recorded an album together. We made covers of all

of the songs that's beautiful um can i ask you what we got a dj what your fit is going to be like for thursday night oh uh summer what is it summer summer cocktail was what we wrote down because we didn't want people to feel like they needed to dress up too much cocktails dressy right yeah but summer cocktails okay i don't know that's why i never heard that before i personally will be rocking uh some dark jeans and a blazer but blazers are not required by any means honestly i'm gonna be rocking uh colors and fabrics that don't show how much i'm sweating i'm just worried about outfitting you that's why i asked be indoors tomorrow night i'm still a certified sweat boy.

I'm worried about outdressing you. I haven't gotten rid of my aluminum deodorant yet. I hope you do. That'd be good for you. Yeah. Don't dress up like a cocktail. Like when it says something cocktail, that doesn't mean it's like you don't dress up like you're a my tie or something.

Okay. Yeah, definitely don't do a my tie. Don't dress up like a margarita or anything, dude. This isn't a costume party. Do you know if the venue provides beef tallow? Yeah, does the hotel have any beef tallow we can rub on ourselves? Yeah, I'm just thinking for like at the end when it's getting real crazy and we're singing Journey or whatever. I just want to just lube up in some tallow.

Yeah. Are you going to scale back on Thursday night so you feel strong Friday? I didn't. Sounds lame. I mean, I probably should. No. But I'm not going to. The adrenaline itself will get you through Friday.

You're going to be just fine. This guy. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I mean, I don't think he's going to get out of hand, but we're going to enjoy the weekend. He's going to have some fun. I know that. I noticed that our invitations to

stand up there next to you were lost in the mail. Where should the three of us stand? Do we need to wear tuxes? Can we do commentary from the side? He's nervous right now. You can see it. His leg's starting to shake. Dave, you should have gotten yours because you actually showed up to the bachelor party.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. I gave my one bad weekend. I gave my one bad weekend. I'm understanding. No, no. I'm kidding.

No, there's going to be a lot of rows of chairs that you guys will have a good spot to sit. That's good. Love a good chair. So are we just going to escort all the ladies to their seats? No no we're just going to pay them as they walk into the venue yeah who's gonna bring five dollar bills yeah here you go this is we've allocated enough for everybody not everyone at once the guest book the guest book you you gotta put your cash app yeah toss that venmo handle down someone's on sunday just hung over he's like why is dave ruff who's dave ruff why is he sending me 12 thousands of dollars in small transactions

do you work queen is there any way we can turn the steam room on today oh you got you got an impromptu steam yeah i want to steam hold on you want to hit lifetime hold on dad get over here those are towel whips oh i can't get in the steam room i'm covered in tallow yeah it'll melt all off your body it's gonna cook me they don't allow pigs what are you steaming on uh i'm steaming on weddings just over it the cost of wedding yeah is the most ridiculous thing on planet earth yeah dollars and and obviously neither of you have gotten married recently and you had a small wedding like it's dumb wedding inflation is real absolute racket and then they start asking you for tips which is even bigger joke with that ipad yeah like oh yeah here's 25 service fee gratuity not included like no you you included it sorry

babe no tip for you. I spent all of it on all the young ladies who showed up. I sent them all 10 bucks. They deserved it. Buy yourself something nice. There will be Venmo QR codes at the bar, so tip your bartenders. Because we're not going to.

Very cool. Brett talks a big game about tipping the bartender. I think I'm going to track him and see how much he tips this entire wedding time. I'm just going to track Brett all night. You think he's all talk? Yeah. I'm just going to see if he tips as much as he says.

Hey, is Brett low-key a gent? Is he a gent tip? He's a rowdy gentleman. He has a gent tip account? Yeah. The real question is, is Brett on brick watch? He's always on brick watch. He's always on brick watch.

He's always on brick watch, yeah. Especially for tomorrow night. Didn't you pick out his outfit for Friday? Yeah, for the wedding, he's safe. Okay. Because there's like eight other people. My suit that I wanted to wear will not be back in time for the wedding. I'm a little upset over it.

A little upset. We'll get through. I'll go in gray suit. Light gray, David. I've never been more excited to wear a piece of clothing than I am for my suit on. Are you going tuxedo or suit? Suit. Okay.

Yeah. A color? Three piece. Oh, okay. It's a, I don't know what shade of blue to call it. Neither does Dylan. But it's like, think like. It's cowboy blue. Deep ocean blue.

Ooh. Yeah. Like how deep? Wow. Actually very similar to Sprocket's pants here. Like two and a half miles deep? Trash panda pant blue. What'd Like how deep? Sexy. Wow. Actually very similar to Sprocket's pants here. It's like 2 and 1 half miles deep. Trash panda pant louvre. What did you just say?

Will said, like how ocean deep? Because you know that submarine that's lost. Oh, that's dark. Way to go, Dylan. It's very, it's black down there. Yeah, 2 and 1 half miles down is real dark. Yeah, so. Not ideal.

Can we ask you the question? Would you rather go if you're going to be running out of oxygen and that's going to be what gets you? Would you rather be bottom of the ocean or space? And it's just a spacesuit floating aimlessly. Kind of like that. Real awkward because it's very stiff. You have the option of taking your helmet off

and just ending it quickly, though. Your head will pop. Which might be a perk. Would it actually pop? No, I don't know. Probably not. I think I'd go full Star-Lord and just, I'd rather be in space.

Because you might run into, like, let's say you're out there and let's say, you know, you're like, oh, what's that? And you see, like, a spaceship. Or maybe you get picked up by some extraterrestrials. That's your dream scenario? Aliens pick you up? They bring me home. Like a hitchhiker? They're like, hey, get in there, little buddy. That's your dream scenario? Aliens pick you up?

Like a hitchhiker? They're like, hey, get in, little buddy. It's a 0% chance at the bottom of the ocean. We found that Russian dude. He looks like a pig. We found the president of Russia. He's floating through space. He gave money to everyone on board. He said he's broke.

We tried to bribe him. Vladimir Oynkin. There you go. go there you go that was a reach yeah oh boy that's what we do clyde that's what we do man i'm so excited i'm excited as well this has been a long time coming it has you're probably more excited than we are but we're also very excited i'm just glad we're here and it's happening we got honeymoon plans oh yeah honeymoon where what's the honeymoon situation looking like a little bit of spain a little bit italy oh okay okay ah yes majorca rome are you gonna go stop by the love island uh villa in majorca we're gonna pop in see if they'll just let us like a day. So you might see me on episode 64. Roma. Rome, Florence, Milan.

Really? Fucking hell. Dude, that's a lineup. Are you going right after? A couple days after. Okay. Yeah, so we're driving back to Dallas and then have a day to repack and all that. Always amazes me when people do their honeymoon the day after. They're on the flight hungover from their own wedding. That's i thought like based on like movies growing up i thought that was normal

a lot of people still do that a lot of people still do that it's just not for me i would need a couple days to you know spread the wings and kind of recalibrate we oh yeah we had friends that had a 6 a.m flight after their own wedding you just show up hammered to that i think no you don't yeah you don't go to sleep that's loco i'd you wouldn't be able to enjoy your actual wedding though i'd be too nervous about the flight i'd like it if you hit me up or some florence wrecks i can help you get through florence i can't i can't tell you anything i'm not gonna lie the amount of wrecks we've gotten from just about everybody talk to somebody who lived there talk to somebody who's from their homeland four

generations ago okay we'll talk after the pod i'll introduce you to that person i can't wait to meet have you made sure i know i know like weddings have budgets things like that like but are you sure that you have enough ultra right beer to last the entire night for the boys because like it's gonna be hard for us yeah i know it's 24 a six pack right it's gonna be tipping them back, but can't put a price on 100% woke free. It's true. You just can't.

I'm going to make sure Brett keeps it. I'm going to ask the wedding planner to put Brett on the watch list. Hey, look out for this guy.

Hey, look out. He might get sunburned at this ceremony. I know it's shady, but... See the guy in the brick fit over there? He is.

He is going to get torched at the ceremony. No, he's not going to get torched then. He's going to get torched on Thursday.... No, he's not going to get torched then. He's going to get torched on Friday during the day. Well, he'll be covered in beef tallow, so he'll should be fine. It's true. I don't think it works like that.

I will be bringing copious amounts of sunscreen for the groomsmen because I have one direction from the soon-to-be wifey. That's a good call. Which is no lobsters on the altar. Yeah, you can't have that. And Brett is on lobster watch. Dude, he's going to be a lobster. You shouldn't invite him from golf. He's going to be a lobster. He's playing twice the altar yeah you can't have that is on lobster watch dude he's gonna be a lobster you should invite him from golf he's gonna be a lobster he's playing twice no she shouldn't do that it takes him 20 seconds to get burned if he's outside he's gonna be a

cute little pig you need to embalm him in like spf 75 i'm gonna get him like a beekeeper suit to play golf in he refuses he's on his health girl shit. He does not wear sunscreen. No, he needs to get off that. His skin is not made to be someone who doesn't wear sunscreen. Is he really not wearing sunscreen? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. He's so pale. He's like translucent. He's the first guy who should put it on.

He looks like a lobster. I'll never forget on a church beach retreat, some drunk dude stumbled into our volleyball game, and he was like blood red sunburn he goes you boys like lobster was it flounder yeah it only sounds like flounder was definitely there and to this day i just think about how sunburned that guy was how it probably ruined like weeks of his life oh my god i just got my first sunburn in forever the other day it's not a fun experience no dude you gotta get that first base burn of the summer

and then everything just tans out. I wasn't mad that it happened right before your wedding. I was like, oh no. Sorry, babe. Man. Fuck, I might have to go tan. I might tan tomorrow morning. Dude, go get a spray tan.

Ask them to do it as dark as they can. Okay. It's going to be hard to get my little curly Q. It's true. Should we do a squad lifetime on Friday before the ceremony? I was going to ask, do you want to go get a steam in tonight or tomorrow? Potentially. Potentially.

I'm down. Just like old times. I got shoulders tomorrow, man. Just like old times. Dylan's walking around. Pork shoulder? The weight room with the towel hanging out of his shorts like a JV quarterback. That's right.

That's right, man. Me and Dave hitting 10 by 10 on squats so we can't walk for 12 weeks. Let's hit a lifetime. You just hobbled up. You hobbled on the aisle while everyone's cheering for you at the end. Then we'll go sit naked in the steam room together. Don's like, oh, I can't go. My DOMS is setting in.

My delayed onset muscles. I always say that every time. You had DOMS yesterday yesterday you son of a gun you're fuck you you little sorry piglet i'm sorry dave you want to run back the uh the cold plunge from cabo at the barton creek spa do they have it i don't know i'll find out if yeah barton creek's gotta have a cold if they have a cold plunge i'll be i'll be going in it uh after after golf yes okay cool i'll just go ahead and put a four-man spa appointment yeah yeah whole squad coming in for one quick cold plunge that would be great yeah just put on a company card you got one that's no owner no i don't you don't have one we just get oh we can

get dividends you get sorry he owns part of the company i know i'm aware so do i oh this company oh that uh yeah i also don't have a company card for here yeah not not the one you actually work Sorry. He owns part of the company. I know. I'm aware. So do I. Oh, this company. Oh, yeah. I also don't have a company card for here. Yeah, not the one you actually work for. Yeah, not that company. Well, if I had one, though, I'd put like $75 worth of pizza on it whenever I wanted to. Yeah, yeah. Well, you wouldn't be the first.

You wouldn't be the last. That's on you, boy. Would you bring in leftovers for us every once in a while to try to make it right? I would because I don't eat cold pizza. Has anyone ever shit on you for bringing the gift of pizza to them like I have? You're such a little pig. I was trying to share it with my pig friend.

We don't need your pizza, dude. We just want slop. You just want my Venmo. Give me slop or Venmo. I don't care which one. That's so stupid. That's so stupid. Well, I've got a lot of faith in this weekend of Vum, boys.

If we don't have hoarse voices on Monday's episode, then we haven't done it right. Yeah. I'm really, really pumped. Shall we get out of here? I do have to be out at Camp Longhorn at 8.30 on Saturday morning. I don't even know where that is. it's not going to slow me down. It's about an hour 15 away, I think. Are they going to let you test the ball?

Out near Camp Longhorn way? I don't think so. But we are going to spend a few hours out there with them. So we're going to do some stuff. What is Camp Longhorn by? It's on Inks Lake. Burnett is the nearest town. Don't mind if I do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you should make a lot of heavyweights references while you're there. I should. The blob has come up multiple times this week. Delta flights currently have heavyweights on their automated TV system. They do. It's one of the greatest movies ever made. Because I talked about this on Monday, and I said I would give updates.

Park's new pictures have been posted to the website, and he is smiling in them. It's happiness. I talked about how he was crying on drop-off day and it upset his dad so dude it takes time i know i feel i feel much better about things and a few people have reached out in support unnecessary but but i really appreciate thank you he's probably got blobbed he probably got launched like into the stratosphere i actually have his life i sent him there with a stack of one dollar bills he's just handing them out to all the girls that's good That's the fastest way to make friends. It's a gent.

Yep. Little pig. Little paid piglet. Aw. Little piglet. I've seen him grow up. So cute. Oh, man.

Good stuff. Is it time? Yeah. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. you