Circling Back - PGA Championship & SEC Mud Slinging | Circling Back 5-12-26

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

Dan joins the show to discuss the PGA Championship, Dave fills us in on his world, some SEC ball coaches are slinging mud, Hil Duff did SI Swimsuit, and Randy rates this insane fart. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.youtube.com/washedmedia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Washed Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.washedmedia.shop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • (00:00) Fun & Easy Banter • (13:30) PGA Championship preview w/ Dan • (37:50) A check-in on Dave’s world • (46:35) Sark, Lane & Golding • (1:01:45) Hilary Duff SI Swimsuit • (1:12:00) Randy Rates an Insane Fart Support This Episode’s Sponsors: - Lucy: Go to ⁠⁠https://lucy.co/steam⁠⁠ and use promo code (STEAM) to get 20% off your first order. - Tecovas: Right now get 10% off at ⁠⁠https://tecovas.com/crclbk⁠⁠ when you sign up for email and texts. - Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at ⁠https://shopify.com/circling⁠ - Warby Parker: buy one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional prescription pairs at https://warbyparker.com/steam - BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% at ⁠https://betterhelp.com/circling Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right. We're back. Circling Back podcast, Tuesday morning. Hi. How you doing? All right. I'm Dave. Welcome to the show. Thanks, dude. Dan's here. Producing today, Randall Trimbecky. Hi, Dave. And more importantly, hello, crawlers. It's the big day today, Dave. Don't forget out to get out there and kill, kill, kill. What are we killing? Well, I regret a lot of things. It is Dungeon Crawler Carl New Book Day, just released two-day wearing the shirt. I've met that author like 12 times. Matt Dineman?

He was such like a big deal. How many times have you met the author? Not often. Actually, I think the book series really got big in the past year. So, I mean, that's what I'm trying on. So Danman met the author before. It was cool. Yeah.

It's true. I'm ready for my second introduction whenever you're ready. Do you also see that Dylan, like, sat as far up as he could so he wouldn't get mobbed? I absolutely did. Like right before the show. I'll sink in lower. If it makes you feel better, I'll sink low. I'm a high cut, Dan.

I got a short torso, man. I don't know about that. Dude, it's true. I mean, Dan's not taller than I am, but he looks so much taller than I'm sitting down. Are you sure Dan's not taller than you? In my mind, Dan is taller than you. Dan's sneaky tall.

He's like sneaky six, but I got him by a little bit. That's okay. Yeah, man, for sure, dude. Second introduction, Randall. Why does he get two? Hi, Dave. I don't know. He asked for him.

Yeah, if I asked for it. I think I'm going to maybe start a new segment. Maybe on Thursday, like to run it back of best comments of the week because the Spotify comments are just great in YouTube. And I just wanted to address some from yesterday. Okay. If you allow me to, because I love our listeners here. Dave's smoothie is hanging from the rim by its elbow looking down on Dylan's smoothie

after just put it on a poster. That's such bullshit. People just like Dave more. Another one. You had it. Dude, you were fine until you said two things. almond milk people are like what and then the three quarters of a banana just do the full banana dude

perhaps people would like you better if you had better takes yeah that's a little too much banana someone also said dylan smoothie is absolute trash just saying it's not trash once we had live on yeah yeah she says she says she does half a banana because of the sugar that was like you know i'm gonna log that god forbid there's like 19 grams of natural sugar it was eight years ago a little jungle It really was. Sugar is still sugar 18 years later. You're just mad because she's moved on.

All sugar is not created equal. She's not your sugar. No, she's moved on to a taller, more athletic build. No offense. You're jealous because he's doing that hot-ass dude. Now that you got, you know what I'm saying. I don't know which one I'm more jealous of those. Live or her boyfriend.

Yeah. It's true. But this is my favorite comment here. Imagine the bananas let Dylan take an at bat and they just put a fastball right in his ribs. That dude, yeah, I mean, I would have that comment for sure. Shout us to T-Cavvin'6 for that one. But it's like a gimmick ball and it hits him, but it explodes with confetti. That's good.

That's fun. You're like, oh, dude. You wouldn't take your kids to the Savannah Bananas? If he wanted to go, I for sure would. Hey, a guy who works with them behind the scenes reached out about giving us tickets to a bananas game. Facts? I responded. I said, we're in Austin.

Don't know when y'all are coming through again, but. Okay. That's what this whole, the whole point of this clip is to get free bananas tickets. Anything about an AB? Point of the podcast, really. Throw the first pitch. For sure, ma'am.

Dylan throws out a first pitch. I'll hit him with that confetti ball. You could throw your knuckle and I can throw my thumby. Have you seen my tummy? They give him a wiffle ball. It just goes all over the woods. I've been throwing this tummy. You can only throw it so many times a game before you die from a blood clot.

Yeah. But. Aloki got a nasty knuckle. That's it. I can't throw it in here. Who's the best knuckleball pitcher? Is it R.A. Dickie? Charlie Huff.

Or Tim Wakefield. Charlie Huff. Smoke six in the dugout. R.A. Dickey also former Ranger Group. He pitched. He was like 48. It was awesome. Charlie Huff was just old school baseball.

Yeah. I'm not working out. Exactly. I'm going to go out there. I'm going to throw a knuckle ball and then I'm going to just have unhealthy lifestyle. Tim Wakefield, probably the most dominant, though.

All right. Your closer as a knuckler is pretty nasty. Remember when Kurt Schillan, I think, exposed that Tim Wakefield was dying. Oh, yeah. I do. I do. Kurt Schillings really

had a lot of goodwill and then went a different direction. It's only like the 10th worst thing he's done. Speaking of I'm sorry. Dylan Schivary. Oh, man. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited to be.

That's the Roebuck polo I got as well. It's a great polo. What's our code? Lute's 20. L-U-T-E-S-2-0 will get you 20% off at checkout. I got some intel from them that makes me very happy. I can't. It's a tease, but I'll tell you after the show.

Can't wait for that. Yeah. All right. I'm going no hat today. That's what I was going to say with my intro. Yeah. It's a visual show. It's been a long time since I've gone no hat in here.

I don't know that the monoxial I'm taking is really working yet, but it takes a long time. It feels like it is, and it's, I want to, I don't know. I just want to put it out there. I'm gonna put the hair line out there. You losing your hair? I've been very slowly thinning for the past 10 years or so. It's a damn sham. Yeah, it happens, man.

Your hair's just cutting. It happens. It's cutting season. Yeah, I think you should just, you know, shade it. No, I mean, I still have, I still have a decent, decent head of hair. Debatable. Okay, that's not very nice. Let's say, hold on.

Do you, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is what it is, man. Do a spin. Oh, my God. Do a spin. I'd pick it. Dude, I'm getting really excited for the Steve Star Fox, the remake.

What do you think about Star Fox? Slippy, look out. I'm unfamiliar. Thanks, Fox. They almost had me. That's sudden, I don't like how that's out of this. There's a number of things. Hey, here's a guy.

Red, talk some golf. Dude, Randy should do voiceovers for animated characters. That was kind of his calling. But they have to use the first take. Yeah. I mean, he wouldn't take at each one. I had no doubt that Randy would crush it. Maybe it has to be a very specific character.

I'm always just impressed with how like good Dave is at voices. I'm just not as good as he is. Oh, that's very nice of you. I'm really good at being somebody else. Wow. You want to dig into that? Bars. Yeah, an upcoming sponsor.

No, I'm kidding. Dan Register. Dan Regester. David Ruff. You're here. So this is your intro. Do what you want with it. Yeah.

Appreciate it. Thanks for inviting me. This is probably the last time I'll be on the show. Oh. Well, I mean, I'm employed now. Can you tell people where you're going on? I don't have all the free time in the world. Like, this is my last week of essentially vacation.

So it's nice. I am fully employed out in a Bastrop. Working for a man named Ryan Holiday. Nice. I mean, I know what that is. I bet there's some listeners out there. There's probably a little overlap there. Perhaps.

Yeah. They've read Meditations. Marcus Aurelius? Meditations. Ben's working. Nice. Papa Roach. Hey, did you ever apply to our friends at the golf company?

One no lane up. Yeah. I did. I got a no. Oh. Yeah. So if you're listening to DJ, John, shall see y'all. Shows to y'all.

Thank you for your PGA preview, which I will be leaning upon heavily here shortly. It was very good. Okay. Well, Dan, I give you a yes to continuing this podcast. All right. Exactly five minutes on Patreon today. Getting some good ones. That's where for five minutes we serve.

Well, hold on. Stop. Run it back. Spins the ball, do hicky bingo thing. Pulls out a ball. I reference it to a spreadsheet. I take your prompts. We refer it. We say, oh, 65.

Look in the spreadsheet, 65. We talked about that for exactly five minutes. It's a grind. It's probably, you know, I'm not going to pretend like podcasting is that difficult. But that show, it's like really makes you work. You got to keep you sharp upstairs. Got to be able to talk quick. And also, Dan, let me be the first congratulate you on the new job.

That's great, Dan. Hey, congrats, man. Randy, that means so much. You're welcome. Dave, that means so much. Thank you. Check out that Patreon. Dylan.

Yeah, thanks. Aw. I thought we were boys, Dan. I guess I was wrong, man. Well, you want to let me touch your baseball? Here. No, you said specifically, don't touch it. Didn't you still Will's baseball bat?

His novelty baseball bat at Grandex in the bullpen? I used to carry it around. Yeah, I mean, he basically commandeered it. I did. He was the enforcer. He was the enforcer. We didn't have any weapons in the office. Except the baseball bat.

I don't know. I'm looking at three weapons over in the office right now. One, two, three. We get constant threats. What happens if we get Charlie head bowed? Oh, come on, dude. I don't even know that reference. I can imagine it's not great.

No. Well, right now, we got Will and Brett out there. Will's backs to the door. That was a very real possibility at my old job. Oh, yeah. Because they would talk a lot of shit on that community. It was a small publication that got shot up, Randy. Ah.

In France. It was pretty terrible. It was a pretty big. story. We got a pretty good. You read the news, buddy? We got a pretty good first line defense out there with Brad and Will.

Yeah. Well, Will's, first of all, Will's backs to the door. Will's a sitting dog, man. He's getting lit up, like Swiss chained. We should change the subject. This is bad. Way to go, Dan.

No, no. I try to make Dylan as uncomfortable as possible. Well, you already do by frame mogging him. That's my bit when I come in here. Just challenge you. It's his last, at bad. He's got a swing for the fences.

What are you doing, tell him? I don't know about that. Come on. You look like that Jake Paul pick, where it looks like a toddler as they're dropping a duke. A little consubated over there. Those brothers are built very differently, aren't they? You know, I, never mind. One of them is on gear.

Is that different? They're on whatever is like the latest and greatest, I'm sure. And they also are very wealthy and nutritionists. They don't have nine to fives, you know. I don't feel bad for them. Or I'm not jealous of their building. Well, I'm Natty, Dylan. You think I'm not dog?

Are you on tea? I'm not on tea, man. I just drink. I just drink Natty's. I'm just drink Natty. Okay. Straight vibes. I'm on vibes and protein powder powder.

Yeah, I do protein powder, but also do natural. When are you going to get on tea in your 50s? I don't know. I'm putting it off as long as possible. It's probably a good call. I'll go peptide before I go. Natty. Here's some bad things about peptides.

It's probably big pharma, bro. They're going to, they're going to, diss it till I get the patents, bro. No, I just, I can't cancer related. I don't know. I don't have enough information to speak on it. I don't think anyone else. A little turbo cancer injected right into you.

Turbo cancer. What, okay. Anyway, what's up, YouTube? You need to get off those natties. Get out that twisted tea, dude. Oh, dude. I did too many twisted teas yet. And I woke up.

I was still drunk. I was hung over for eight days straight, man. I missed work. I got fire, but didn't matter. It was my boss. Okay. Hey, let's talk about Lucy, Dylan. I can smell the apple ice from here.

I got a Lucy in. I got a breaker in. Of course, is the 8 milligram apple ice breaker, which is a pouch with a little flavor capsule inside, releases flavor as well as hydration. I love them. They come in 4, 8, and 12 milligram. They have the standard pouch as well that also come 4, 8, 12. And then the gum, which I know Dave and Brett are fanzo comes in as little as 2 milligram. Mango is a flavor that Dave likes.

again, Apple Ice is my jam. I like it a lot. Apple Ice pouch. 100% nicotine, completely tobacco-free. That's what's up. Yes. You know, Lucy's the only pouch that delivers long-lasting and on-demand flavor. Get 20% off, 20% off, Dylan. Your first order when you buy online at lucy.co slash steam with promo code Steam.

If you don't want to wait, check out their store locator to find Lucy near you and grab it today. It's available in more places. I don't want to wait. to wait for the shipment man yeah okay it's gonna go to this door it's been a lot of fun you guys really

okay that's a good read though yeah um pGA is technically delco it is technically delco it isn't delco Newtown square Aronimink

it's not Philly Aronamink the Aronimic the mink the mink I actually played this in high school only once was it a exhibition or was it a tournament

dude good try it was a match for the high school team okay I probably shot like a 51 on or something nine holes no right I sucked in high school still do

I mean I do not you yeah yeah correct yourself Dan knows he sees me um thoughts PGA.

Let me guess, Dylan, this snuck up on you? It did, dude. A PGA will do that. This is the one that snakes up on me. Snuck up on a lot of people. It's weird. I have a guy that I want to pick that I like. However, this guy, we discussed this before the show, did,

I wanted Justin, I was like very, very, I was talking myself into Justin Rose, not recent, but like, after the mat, during the, master's actually i was like man you know what dude he's getting one this year and i was trying to think like where might he end up perhaps a place where he's won a major before in philadelphia sure sure and i and then then he did the the equipment change which is just nobody's doing no one's going to mclaren no one's switching uh which he did before to another random brand like a decade ago which brand was that i forget what it was called but uh he doesn't was it the pipe he switched to the pipe Yeah.

Weird. Yeah. So I won't be taking Justin Rose. No, I think his irons have actually fallen off a cliff since switching to McLaren. You can just go down there and get them, right? Yep. You can. But you've got a walk down.

It's a long walk. I get it. I wasn't funny. Maybe Parks can go down there in four seconds. Dude. Yeah. A little solo climber, free solo. What if he starts free soloing?

No. That's not allowed. I will not allow that as his father. Why, it's a little bit overbearing. Yeah, why are you going to hate on your child's dreams? Can you start by you're doing like the harness and the... I mean, someone did comment on Spotify that you could get him into bouldering, that he might be good at it.

That's, you know... Yeah. Some contact here, Dan. My son set the school record and the rock climb event at Field Day last Friday. Yeah. So let him spread his wings. Go, no harness. We'll see about it.

Well, Dan, where do you think this is going? I'm excited. It starts on my birthday on Thursday. Shameless. Let me be the first. It's a great way to start your birthday. It's a kickoff. It's a kickoff for my birthday.

I wanted to go up, but I was looking at tickets. I couldn't afford it. It was like two grand a ticket. Also, beer prices right now. Two grand a ticket to it, just to attend? To attend. And then beer prices I saw were like $15, $16 a beer. No, I'm not dropping two.

No offense. I'm not dropping 2K for a PG. Secondary market. Unless it's in like a destination spot. Dude, those ticket resellers are a real bitch. They are. Something should be done. Anyway.

Who do you like? It's like 10 minutes away from my house. I live in Ridley Township, so. Is this course easily accessible for the common man? Like what if you're a water man? I mean. Or a waterman. I don't know the parking situation.

So I don't know if they're going to extend it into like i don't know a parking lot of the knack me or something right or a couple wawa's oh dude wow wow dude i went to there got some water they had some good subs went there got water what yeah they're not called subs dog they're uh hoagie sorry the hoagies they had good hoogies in waters i got a hoagie over there you don't pick up some waters a couple hoagies and then we'll go down the shore and have ourselves of time i've got a friend who's got a house in the main line it's real nice well main line yeah that's so sweet that's so fucking swaggy.

Is it close to the water? It's really swaggy. It's close to the water. It's not far. Okay. Okay. Mainlines where like Villanova is really nice. Proper.

You know I did I did the thing where I went and like I was like immediately like fell in love with Villanova's campus. Well, duh. It's great. I think it's like 90 grand to attend. Yeah, it's fine. My dad paid for it. 90 grand.

That's a lot of money. Dylan, what do you think? again this very much snuck up on me well you know the players who are playing yeah i know the players where you think blocky finishes is he's playing yeah he qualified he finished top 20 boy you pull your head out of your ass and follow blocky i hope he misses the cut do you see blocky apologize the guy the guy who doesn't like banana ball doesn't like block oh like you like you like you like you like the blockster yeah because the block is block he apologized for his overexposure he also But didn't he also...

He needs to apologize for the fucking hats that he wears. He's Malbonne now. Isn't your profile picture on Twitter, you as Michael Block? No. In Melbourne? I don't know. I'm pretty sure. You made it.

It is. Dude. You're such a stand for the Blockster. Sorry, man. He made a hole in one in front of Rory McElroy on the final round. Sick. He's had his nice run on the side. Blew out the hole.

And for context... Did to switch the cup. That guy won the mask. twice in a row. He did. Right in front of him. Yeah. Wait, what?

He's talking about Rory. He's going to be a total menace in the fucking champion store. I'm falling Rory around. I'm definitely going to follow Rory. Actually, this is my Delco guy. I'm working on it. A European hasn't won the PGA in like 10 years.

I heard a fun stat on a podcast that didn't hire Dan. I'm just kidding. No, I'm joking. I mean, that is factually accurate, yeah. an Englishman hasn't won it in like over 100 years or something crazy really think about it I'm thinking about it um yeah father don't ever want a PGA you're not going to guess the guy's name

obviously no Roy McElroy Mattie Fitz I'm talking myself into Maddie Fitz dude how about his brother leading after Saturday at the what was the last one oh uh the thing does Rory not count as an Englishman is Northern Ireland but he's Protestant

he's not English I don't know if you're familiar with the troubles I'm very familiar but they were on the side of the as a court county boy who's also Catholic well he's not in English he might be British but you know

he's UKish man boy Randy I just to be English right actually go I want to email Randy at washmedia.com if he's getting any of them's wrong I mean are the Welsh English no but they're British Yeah?

So yeah. So Englishman. Actually, I don't know. I don't know why I'm answering so confidently and quickly. I don't fucking know. I mean, he played for the Irish team. Oh, yeah, you know, it's tough with Rory. Yeah, man.

He could be the first to do it. Okay. It'd be a nice feather in his cap, though. Dude, that's good. I mean, Rory clearly has the BGA, so. He already got a career going to slam. Something Jordan, your friend, Jordan Speed, I don't have. He's the, uh, second.

Second best odds. Yep. Of course, behind Scotty. Scotty's a good player. Scotty a plus 480, Rorya plus 850. Scotty got to stay out of the handcuffs. All right.

Yeah. Oh, I'm doing. There's no heart behind that impression. That sucked. I liked it. I didn't. You got to kind of channel your inner Connor.

That was just Connor. What kind of track is that? That wasn't barkeep that's kicking Dylan out because Dylan's been there too long. It's short. That's a different one. It's a short course. Okay.

So, I mean, everyone's kind of kind of be involved. Dude, I'm playing it like a par 67. I imagine the bombers are going to have an advantage. Because it's so short, dude. Yeah, I was playing it like a par 69. This is great commentary for this tournament. The course comps I saw, I mean, take it with a grain of saw it. Augusta, like Capilua, Riviera.

Okay. just like uneven lies on fairways yeah every shot those are my best so maybe stay away from brison i'm i'm an absolute problem when the ball's a little bit above my feet i'm hitting a fucking sweepie draw sweepie now imagine having uh single-length irons yeah you know i i just the game's hard enough for me i just don't need to like you know i'm gonna make this a little bit more difficult single length Dude, Bryson tried to get out of the bunker in Augusta. It was so funny.

He just couldn't do it. Wasn't that in Mexico? Well, I think also on 11. Augusta. Yeah, he hit three out of one bunker. He had the meltdown. He didn't like that Mexico course on the lift. No.

And don't pick Bryson also because, like, that dude's just fucking in flux. He's focused on his YouTube channel. He doesn't know. He doesn't participate in the presidential. physical fitness. Oh yeah, we didn't even talk about that. Did he do 30 pull-ups, I saw? In a row?

That's the headline. There's no way full hang. I don't think they were full-johns. He's not that big anymore. That's still like, I mean, we've got to, we all know one guy who can do 10 sets at 10. What's the most amount of pull-ups do you ever done?

How many can you do? I don't know anymore, but. I do, my pull-ups are gone. I used to be able to do like 20. I did 15, not so long ago. I think that's about as much as I can do. I definitely. I'm gonna do 15 right now, like I did that.

Within second set, I max- Oh, Dylan, you need to pull yourself up and get yourself together, boy. Go on, Che-Chi's waiting on you at home. That's bad. Get out of me, pub. I'm sweeping up. Your money's no good here.

Just go, it's on the house. Go make up with her. It's on the house, thank you. I don't wanna see your face no more till you put a hat on. See, I have more heart. Come on, dude. boy oh yeah you know no i might be fighting max at the on the ufc card so you just like

or maybe jim miller now i don't want to see him fight ever ever again conner versus jim miller would be fun no what dude he no i'm not watching a guy that fought in six years but it's jim miller he's 42 you guessed it jim miller the barbecue guy miller's the fuck the dude that has like the longest i don't know he's got like 50 plus fights in the ufc he created the beer That's where we're at with Connor He's gonna fight the 42 year old guy who's like claimed to I don't know Coming off a win against Jared Gordon Yeah great I know it's cool

But it's like all right Connor Here's your like you tell Connor go back in time Five years ago All right dude guess what your final one of your final fights It's gonna be Jim Miller It's like one of the few guys he could probably beat That's the that's I don't want to see it I don't even care I don't really like the guy

Do you want him to fight like Michael Chandler? No I don't want him to fight at all I don't want to see it. Michael Chandler, like... He's done, dude. Connor? Yeah, he's done. Connor's going to come back.

He's going to try. No way. I have no interest. We're going to see it on the White House lawn. What about... Is he trying, is that the fight? He's trying to get onto the UFC, White House? No, he's probably going to be closer to July, like,

International Fight Week. So what about Conner versus Patty? After Patty gets destroyed by Benoit Santone. As a guy who likes to disrespect or to... under-rate or as a guy who I underrate Patty. I think he's, I did not give him credit. I think he's properly rated. I, no, he would, he would absolutely work Connor.

Yeah. He stood, he didn't get, like, if Gagie didn't catch his chin, then Connor's not catching his chin. Well, Gagey's going to die at the White House, unfortunately. Yeah. We wouldn't have a Spaniard lift the title right in front of the Orange Man. Where are we at with Spain, relations-wise? Probably not great.

Yeah, no, they're kind of bucking and doing some stuff. Doing some weird stuff. They're doing some stuff, Dylan. What do you think? Are they bucking? I don't really don't have a thought on Spain. Geopolitically speaking. This guy's never been to Spain.

I have, actually. Yeah. I eat churros there. You probably eat churos in the States. Like an idiot. Never had a churro. Maybe I'll go to San Ghanaians and get one. Have you even tried this, the churro sunflower seeds from smack?

Port of, no. I haven't. Is that just brown sugar? The sugar guy's over-eating, Dylan's over-eating birthday cake seeds. But he can't eat a banana. He can't eat that last little bite of banana. A banana's over, can be overpowering in a smoothie. I've dialed in the perfect amount of banana.

What's the problem? You're going to overdose on potassium. No, I like, I'll eat a banana. Dude, you're so full of potussi. That's true. Yeah, they called you that in prison. I make my pancakes with banana instead of, That's a...

Jack Johnson over here. Fucking Jack Miller. Bill Mill, what's the barbecue guy? Bill Miller Barbecue? Yeah. I read a review and it was like... The place pops off for breakfast tacos allegedly. Really?

I mean, every time I drive past it, there's a giant line. I noticed that too. All right, then I don't want to disrespect. I don't want to disrespect local business. It's not good. Hey, did you see the great news what we're getting on South Congress? A Hey Dude's store. Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God. On South Congress and like Prime... Like, you're, you're out. there like your family's in town like oh yeah we're gonna go south congress we're gonna do shopping you like oh let's go to to covis tecova's rules heck yeah we just went in there got some boots now let's go to hey dudes did they take over the vacant all bird store no they took over something yeah i remember someone was complaining it was like an actual like nice small boutique or something like that shaking my head what if they have suines out there to do like a uh a ribbon cutting

ceremony i heard your man crush monday wears hey dudes you're emcee you're mc Remember that trend? Yeah. So stupid. Yeah. Well, that was a great preview. PGA championship, yeah. Fuck it.

Give me Brooks. Let's rock. You're going Brooks? Yeah, why not? He finished 11th at that Myrtle. The opposite field of that. Good at the Cognizant? Sure.

He can't put. The cog? He's like a top one or, I think he's like the best iron player. He's a gamer. Dude, he comes out of the woodwork for the PGA. Statistically speaking, I think he is the best iron player on tour. But he can't put. You just can't put.

I think you just find it. He's like 140th and putt it. I still think Brooks has an intimidation factor. Not for like the, not for like a roller. He's a killer's. If it was hard, right?

I don't think it's gonna play that hard this week. Give me Maddie Fitz. Maddie Fitz, one, Brooks two. What about Alex Fitz? And then who's my dark horse? Alex Fitz. No, what about Alex Fitz?

Victor. Is he in the field? Hovlin finds it this week. Yeah. He won the yard. finds it this week. Those are my three picks. Halvin's 50 to one. I don't hate it. I'm going to take Brooks as well because I think by the end of his career,

he will have more major wins than Tiger Woods. Dude, I bought the hype so hard. Is that a callback? Yeah, no, I made a bet with Jared. What year was this? This was right after he won his fourth major. I mean, he was a killer for a long stretch there. How did it feel when he went to live?

I took goodbye to the money. I think I but it was like I got odds I think I got like 10 to one odds against Jared and I said by the time he's 50 oh so when when does his bet extend till he retires when he's 50 oh 50 you said well so we're way off but this a win but brooks women would really help our call that is true yeah I bought the hype Brooks used to be one of my favorite golfers you should have heard Jared at this bar when this He was just classic giggly jare. Like, no, Dan, what? Dan, Dan, Dan.

No, it's a different time, man. Are you kidding me? He's before COVID. Oh, man. There's no way. No way. Just insult, just insultingly. Oh, Jared.

That's great. All right. Who's your pick, Dillon? Cameo. Oh. Cameo. Can't put. Four putted from 14 feet.

Cameo. Last one. He's just getting dialed. Yeah. He's working out something. I think he got space jammed. No, I'd be right. What do you mean by that?

Somebody took his putt in powers. Who? So, I mean, if he lost him, somebody had to gain. Allegedly Justin Thomas just took his putter. I did see that. Yeah.

So maybe he took his putt in prowess as well. J.T. comeback? Oh, dude. I mean, if there's one major that Justin Thomas wins, it's a fucking BGA. Speath.

Speath, uh, running out the career grand slam. So I think, uh, just saying, Most of his shots. That is like a thing.

For this course of the pro shots are going to be between like 110, 130 yards. Mm-hmm. And speed's pretty high in that category. Hang on. Leveraging AI. Yeah, Dan's right. Damn. Don't buy speed, though.

Never buy speed. Nah. No. He'll give us a Friday. Give us a fun Friday. And then we'll be like, hmm. Maybe have a- Playing your whole Saturday around it.

First round lead, maybe. Watch him go out there, go birdie, birdie, par, quoth. Yeah, and you're like, oh, he always gives it back. He'll go on birdie streaking that and here's a quad. Yeah. Here's a triple. Ooh, wow. Speed's balls ended up all inside of a porta potty somehow.

Man, he's going to play it out of there. He's going to play it. He's got to go in there. Oh, it does not look good. Doesn't smell good either, right? Portoponty is right. You know, he's weirdly playing well going into this and has a decent record at this very course is one Ricky Fowler. Rick Fowler. Let's go. That's a storyline I can get behind. First

time major winner? I mean, he already won the fifth major. Yeah. Blair's championship. So second time, really. Right? Yeah. Would you like to see a Rick Fowler major? Yeah. I like him. He's likable. I like him. Once you like mature and realize, I shouldn't hate a guy because he's overexposed. Yeah. It's like, get the back. Yeah. He's not, he's doing, he wasn't like, he's never really ruffled my. Don't really get it, though, because he doesn't have much of a personality, but. He brought back to all orange recently, I saw.

Yeah. I say that as a guy who, like, well, I'll root against guys because they just are just so impossibly English. I used to root against Rose. Because I was like, he's just so, like, so villain in the Patriot. He was like a, he was like a tier two villain in the Patriot, like a background guy, a background, like a lieutenant. Not an Isaac. No, no, no. not Isaac.

Just like he was in the back like, yeah. Yes. I don't know how they talk. You know what I'm saying? That movie got me fired up. Not a great movie. The Patriot? I mean, it's like Top Gun Maver.

Patriot rules. It like makes me feel good, but like looking back, I'm like, yeah, but all those movies back then were kind of like that way. It doesn't, anybody who tries to put it in the same category as Braveheart. Patriot is better than Braveheart. It just is. I'm a father.

I don't have to love to take. They love that take. judging by his reaction. Agree to disagree. It's much better than Braveheart. It's so bad. It's so bad. Go back and watch the Patriot. I did. I have. Proper film. Huh? Proper film. No. Yes.

The, Bill Gibson rules. He melts down the little metal soldiers into bullets. Yeah, he does. And you know what they do? He does in Braveheart? He fucking burns it. Actually, he goes burn it. He gets fucking split open pretty much. You know, there's a, I'm not going to not to docks everybody here, but there's a street down in South Austin. It's like there's a church like Bonnickburn.

Yeah. I'm not kidding. Every time I drive by it, which is every day, I go, I say, I do a Braveheart voice. I go,

Bonickburn. I don't even know if it's Scottish. I've always said Banickburn, but I don't. You're probably right. I just like to go, Bonickburn as I drive through the light. Braveheart's also just a giant lie.

They try to make it appear that William Wall. Because Robert the Brews. Did you ever watch the, thing with the guy. William Wallace was not a mud person. He was an aristocrat. I don't know. He had money. You wanted to go into the inaccuracies of the Patriot? Well, the Patriot is based on like two different characters. Oh, okay. So we just do that now. We just have the duality thing. Well, the funniest thing is they're in South Carolina and he has, um, free men work in his land. It's like, uh, that's the biggest issue. That would have the relationship with the, uh,

the slaves. It's like, dude, quit. They're there, it's a, it's a class. And I'm not saying, Hollywood's up or Mel Gibson wasn't the only one to do this, but at that time it was like, got a kind of whitewash it a little bit. Look at the great relationship. Like, yeah, dude. Okay. You could just be historically accurate there. Let's just watch Heath Ledger.

Die. Yeah. Oh, if you hadn't seen it. No, he dies in the movie. Yeah, fuck. I'm dying to go to Tikova. Oh, yeah, baby. The aforementioned, what?

Is that funny? You didn't get my pick. Where's your pick, Dan? Go. This pick brought you by Tikova's. Ludwig. Yours. I ain't happening, bro.

Love Vigs winning. Love Vig's winning. It's my birthday. It's my course. Love Vig's winning. My favorite golfer in the world. You and Tron. It's the only thing we really, like, agree on.

I was listening to their preview. They were kind of trash in Philly, but whatever. I'll take Scotty. So, yeah. You take, oh, Randy takes Scotty. Officially going to take Scotty shot. Love it. Brave.

Hey, great. Love it. Really going out on a limb there. I'm going to go out on a limb and, say tokova's rocks just kidding that's not out on a limb everybody knows that tokova's boots y'all we love our tokova's man love them anywhere worth going is worth going in good boots and you can find your perfect pair with to covas dylan just got the cart rights cart rights those black boots all black ones oh they're sharp man with some slacks a suit or just wear them out when you're taking cha chae

over to the speakeasy i've worn them to the ranch take them out with cha chae i've taken chae to the speakeasy in them it's right to the biblioteca yeah no stiff period. That's the best thing. Dude, you walk out of the store and it feels like you've been wearing it for 20 years. You can go into the store and we recommend that because the quality, like the store is great, smells great. The service is unparalleled. The free branding, they'll brand your boots right there in the store. They'll chat you up. They'll get you a drink.

Takes five minutes. Or you can just order them on the website. I've done that before too. I've got, I've got some smooth ostrich boots from there. Yes, you do. I just went Delco. Some beets. And they're great. and here's the thing

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when you sign up for emails and texts that's 10% off at T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com slash circle uh c r c lbk excuse me see site for details to covis point your toes west um before we hop into this just got to say uh two things from dave's world cubby's season ended last night oh man just didn't get the bout the we had an evenly match team just didn't get the bounces just seems like there's a lot of games left for the cubs This is my son's tee ball team. I do appreciate that they're rolling out the major league uniforms and the hats.

Me too. I hate when all these like youth sports in Texas where they're just like a city and like number or like a youth group and a number. Yeah. They need to be professional. It's cool. Our league we do we do the color schemes of major league baseball teams like ours looks like the Rangers, but. We're not the Rangers. It just says the name of our Little League on the jersey.

And then we just get to name our own team. Do you get a local sponsor? Northwest Little League. Oh, yeah. They all do that. Northwest Little League when I played there. Like a dry cleaning service? They still do it.

They use Major League Baseball teams, which I thought was sick. That's part of the Orioles as a child. It was, oh, you know, so our first, my first T-ball team, I have, like, one of my earliest sports memories is being, like, four or five, going to the first practice, and we got to select our team name. And the coaches kind of, I was like, we're going to be the Mavericks. And all the kids are like, oh, what the, and this is the Mavericks in like 1990. Historically bad team.

Right. This is like post-Rolando Blackman. This is 91, 92, maybe when like, you know, oh God, we got Jason Kid, Jamal Mashburn, Jim Jackson, three Jays. Anyway, we had like, I still have the hat in my garage, true story. But yeah, it was a game where anything that could go wrong. went wrong. I don't want to be critical. There were some calls that were like, oh, it kind of comes down to outs. And there was a couple outs that were they outs? We're standing right there. Okay. Okay. Whatever. But more importantly, we had a kid have to misses at A.B. because he had to go

the bathroom. That's an out. And then Rhodes got hit in the face. They counted in an out. It's an out. Yeah. Do you challenge? Just put it. There really no challenging. It's kind of, they don't have, they haven't. That's still, yeah. It didn't go to New York. for the official really well it's a quick process you just tap the head um Rhodes playing first uh pitcher gets it Rhodes did his job went and covered first runner got there right when Rhodes the ball got there his buddy threw it through it through a great ball uh it like hit something ball comes up smokes road in the roads in the face he cries have to do the whole thing go over there get down on my knee he's got blood coming out of his mouth oh he got pop

good just got a full tom haggs damn I had that thought, and then I was kind of like, are you good, you good, blah, blah. So the ending ended because they scored on that and they reached their fifth run. So I'm picking him up. And I'm like, his mom comes over. The other coach comes over. I'm like, he's good, he's good. And I was like, in my head, I was like, this is kind of a potentially a seminal moment.

Like, is he going to be scared to get back out there? I was like, all right, buddy, what do you think? You want to go out there and bat? He's like, yeah. So I got his helmet on, went out there and batted. Then when it was time for them to go back out in the field, he was going to play center. And I was like, he was scared. He's like, dad, I don't want to go back out in the field.

I'm like, buddy, you'll be okay. Promise. And in my head, I was like, oh, oh, I hope he's okay. I'm going to line drive came in his way. Bad son last night, dude, for real. No, he got back out there and I was really proud of him. And they lost, and it was a great season. Same team, didn't win a game last year, went three round, four rounds into the playoffs, final eight.

Very proud of them. Very proud of them. Love that. Sad to see, man, all the dads were good. bombed and even the kids were bombed you know they're like oh our season's over dude yeah he'll be back out there man he'll be back they'll be back we're gonna we're gonna keep practicing oh and another dave news uh i might have a glow about me you ball maxing no my my my ball's the same size randy no saline in these balls what's the announcement my mode the lawn this morning before i came

Okay. Whoa. How early? Wow. About 815. 815 to 9. All right. What?

Too early? That's a little early. I think I woke up the neighbors? Again, up for work, I suppose. But if you're out there at least. I'm supposed to be up cooking breakfast or something. 637, that's a little bit much. That's only in the morning, though.

I had to buy a new lawnmower yesterday. And I was eager to get it going. That's the real question. loud are these lawnmowers nowadays? This new one is a, it's a bigger lawnmower than the old one. Gas powered? No, electric. No, everything is electric now. And like, I get it?

It's loud. It's loud. And I was like, ooh, I hope the neighbors. Even though it's electric, it's loud. It's, it's a, it's a 60 volt. Who is a 40? It's a thing, this thing's serious. Uh, yeah, I just want to shout out Walmart. If you go there, um,

and buy a lawnmower and there's a, literally a 87 pound box, says 87 pounds, they don't really have anybody to help you. So, which isn't that big of a deal, I can let except for it's really wide and I'm loading it into a shopping cart. So if you want to go pull that security footage from the Walmart of me, loading that in there by myself, go check it out. It's probably quite humorous because I was like, I find myself like I'm probably, from my age, I feel like I'm strong as strong as I could be.

and I'm like fucking getting this thing up. And like the only person working the outdoor section was no joke like an 80 year old man. And I'm like, I'm not, I'm not doing it. I'm not asking this guy to help. He's there to help. He wasn't. He was not there to help.

That's just important to see the direction that lawmakers are going. I know. That's the one that I just pulling that rip cord. It was just like, I don't smell of gasoline. You do plenty of that at home though. Yeah, but sometimes your gas powered motor sits

all winter long with like, no use and it's like it's kind of tough to bring it back to life. It's never hard. It is. I would run my toaster on gas if I could. Yeah, there was a commercial back in the day. Like they made a bunch of electronic like stuff, gas power like computers.

It had like gas pedal and stuff. Do you remember that commercial? I don't. It was so sick. Like I'm pretty sure the coffee machine had a rip cord to it. And I was like, honestly, this is kind of sick. Yeah, I've got to find that commercial. good pull randy i think it was like

i think it was for like electric vehicles or something like that oh yeah evs yeah um so anyway that's what's what i was once i was once um my people were very very uh like why who moses along before work and it's me it's a great time no mall it's me a guy who doesn't want to do it when he gets home or on saturday that i just freed up my saturday a difference in 20 degrees as well it was beautiful this morning it was

you go for a walk i hit the trail this morning it was a great morning yeah beautiful yesterday beautiful today i don't think it's getting past 80 today really and it's like 8082 like it's got some fucking balls let some balls i'm gonna go play golf why are you gonna go play golf where are you gonna go

I'm gonna welcome to Kaiser okay I might just skip the Patreon and go do that you should do that let's talk after the show yeah okay hey um real quick I want to just

so everybody know this podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. We're believers in therapy, and BetterHelp is online therapy, and it's a great way to get into it. They have quality therapists who work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the United States. They'll do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on therapy goals. There's a little questionnaire. It helps you ID your needs and preferences, and their 12.

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other c c head football coaches the first one of course being lane kiffin who departed old miss in the off season for ls u and then and then uh sark did an interview with uh matt hayes i believe his name is of USA Today and had a lot of comments about the state of NIL and the selection committee and then he took a shot at Ole Miss for some reason. I don't really know. So he was talking about when somebody transfers into Texas versus Ole Miss saying that Texas only will take 50% of their credits. It was part of a bigger conversation because he was saying that less than 5% of, you know, D1 college football players go on and play in the NFL. And he's saying that no one cares about academics or like graduating anymore.

come here to play school. The kids are bouncing around from school to school. Famous words of Cardell Jones. You know, get a bag, of course, and transfer schools. And so... Yeah, we used to get the bag. And in that conversation, it sounds like I'm defending Sark. I mean, he's a grown man.

He doesn't need me to defend it. But he said that you transfer to Texas. We're only accepting 50% of your credit hours. So if you want to graduate from here, you got to actually, like, you know, buckle down and go to class. And in the same conversation, he said that you can go to Ole Miss and take a basket weaving class and like it doesn't matter something like that's my issue my biggest issue my only issue with this is that the basket weaving is such a trope and it's so cliche in

like this world of like oh yeah what did you take major in basket weaving that's like underwater basket weaving huh underwater underwater yeah that's like saying like that's like the people who like address the haters and the trolls online like oh this guy's eating cheetos in his parents' basement. Right. It's the same. It's the same. Same energy, but also the most famous case of fake classes was done by a public Ivy in North

Carolina. Facts. They just didn't, they made up athlete classes. That's right. So yeah, mess me with all this like, oh, we have academic standards bullshit. So fucking college athletes. It's a billion dollar industry. I just rock a little Villanova.

My initial reaction to this is like, why is he taking a shot at Ole Miss for no reason and then people are quick to point out that last season a report got out that while arch was being recruited that there was an assistant coach at alabama who pointed to sark's previous battle with alcoholism as a reason why he shouldn't go to texas and it was later not not confirmed alleged alleged that it was Pete golding was the one who was who was saying that to arch and cooper Manning. It's dirty work there. Well, you don't have to worry about golden for another two more years, probably. He'll get pushed out. There's apparently a beef there. Okay.

Definitely spent time on staff together. And if I'm Sark, that would, you know, of course that would, that would piss me off. Sure. Sure. Doesn't drink anymore, hasn't for many years. Well, but when he does, when he relapses. He's not going to relapse. Come on, Dan. So yeah, that's a, Sounds like a legitimate beef. And then on the Lane Kiffin's side of it, he was, he did a vanity fair article. He's the subject of a vanity fair article.

A piece. And he said that while he was recruiting for Ole Miss, he had conversations with, you know, black recruits and their families. And they were very hesitant to let their son go to Ole Miss because of the racial undertones of town and the mascot and all that stuff. Is you familiar with the mascot of the LSU Tigers? I'm glad you brought that up, Dan. Yeah, share that. This is something that no one was taught.

No, because, dude, I really think, unless you're LSU or really locked it super, super dial in SEC, this lore is not out there. As you might already know, the tiger is not native to the Baton Rouge area. What? Yeah, it's true. It's also not named after the animal. Right. So explain, Dan.

It's a Confederate unit, Louisiana Tigers. a fairly brutal one. Yeah. I don't know the history of it, but it's just Lane, okay, I'm not even going to speak to like whether or not what he said was true. I mean, who knows? But everything with Lane, for me,

and I think most people was like viewed through like a lens of skepticism. Like what is he saying? Why is he saying this? He's very self-serving. He's also like shown himself to be quite the narcissist. Anyway. But he just like, do you do indirectly like self-owned, like open up like a whole can of worms for like the school he's at now? Not that like I don't know what the push is going to be for like, well, now we got to change the name.

But like, did he just like make create a headache for LSU? No. You know. Louisiana kind of does what they want. I don't know. That's a great point. It's a different. See it with the drinking age.

The origin of that name is I think, I mean, we just found out about it today. Right. Very much under the radar, you know. Very much so. Until he went off and did that. It's just kind of, and you're right, it's not going to amount to anything probably, but it's just, it's just like, all right, Lane. Of course, got to point out that LSU travels to OMS this year for football.

That's not, that's going to be a fun one. That's going to be, uh, also with the amount of chances that Lane takes at 20-year-old co-eds, I'm not throwing any stone. Yeah. You know, that's fair too. Because they're going to uncover some stuff that is. Not going to put Lane in the best life. He definitely triggered the Burnerverse yesterday, the Ole Miss Burnerverse, which was already like, you know, once he left there.

I don't know what more they've got. And then who knows how much of it's factual, but like... Like at one point, a relationship with a woman that's 30 years younger than you or trying to slide in their DMs and stuff, it's not going to go well for you, Lane. No, no, no, you're right. And I mean, and there's there's a lot of stuff out there. And I may work with a booster out there that is very dialed into these things. He does donate to the Grove. He don't know, man.

I don't know, man. SEC just got a little more, a little more juicy. It means more famously. Yeah, it does. Where's, when's, what's Texas? Where's, where's Ellis or Ole Miss on their schedule this year? Um, they come to Austin. Okay.

Uh, they go to LSU though. Okay. Yeah. That would be a fun game to go to. Absolutely. That's, that's, famously got puked on in Baton Rouge.

That is an electric environment. And not like a hallway, Dan. Right. I'm thinking about going out to Boulder for a game. Seeing my, my nights take on Dion. I'm thinking about going out to San Diego, see, uh,

the, the cats taking on San Diego. Diego State and their first pack 12 road games. San Diego is one of the best cities in America. That's Dave. That's Dave's favorite city. It is one of them for me. It's awesome. It's perfect. I mean, like, I could tell you like, oh, I like Newport more, but Newport, my friend who live there doesn't live there anymore, and Newport's really expensive. So it's like, yeah, San Diego. Yeah, San Diego famously cheap to live. Probably cheaper in Newport, right? My mom was just in San Diego. Oh, that's awesome. about all I got about that.

You go like full beach bomb in San Diego. Just live in a 10 or something. Fish tacos, hashtag hashtag's recommendation. He can't remember what he got there. We kind of gave him too much for that. It delivered, though. It was good.

It was really good. Probably my favorite meal there. Anyway. I just can't wait for college football. I know you can't either. It can't. Yeah, we know that. We can't get here soon enough.

I can't get here soon enough. I can't wait to win. Six games this year, maybe. We're getting close to that 100-day countdown from a stat guy. Oh, can't wait. Are you going to unmute him for that? Are you going to remute him for that? He's actually unmuted right now.

He's been behaving. What happened with tech? I was literally about to ask if you're, you got a Soresby take. The gambling stuff. Is he getting suspended? What's the deal? I think it's getting worked out right now.

I think they hired some kind of high power. attorney to fight the case, but it doesn't look good. Because he was at Indiana. I mean, there's precedent here. Like, the Iowa State quarterback got, like, permanently banned for doing exactly what Sorsby did. Also, if you're getting this NIL money, why are you betting like $100 a game? Dude, what does that do for? The action is the juice.

Yes. Brother, you don't have to tell me. That's just all about, I don't know, that's elite level competitive, like, degeneracy. Just don't bet on your own. I wouldn't. I wouldn't expect him to play this season. It's going to look really bad if he does, I think. But the, you know, the Cody Campbell being as much of an influence as he is,

people are going to be really skeptical if that happens. Well, they got a stud that's coming back, but he's coming off of an ACL tear, right? Tech. Not a stud. He was a serviceable backup. I think he was a true freshman. Is that true? Hammond?

I don't know if that's true. Yeah, Hammond was a true freshman. I don't know about that. Look it up, Randy. Go ahead, bud. And he tore his ACL. Will Hammond, H-A-M-M-O-N-D. I didn't know, I think he was a true freshman, but you might be right.

He was super young. So yeah. Oh, he's a sub-as-ta-guyen-a-out. What you got? Should I say, is it? I don't know. Oh, he went to Austin. Yeah.

Went to Hutto. Yeah. There's also information. When did he graduate from Hutto High School? school. That is a great question. There's no way to look this up. High school. Will Hammond class. But the way

college football is going, he could probably have seven more years of eligibility. He's got three years. So yeah, he was the first. He said 2024 was his start of college. Because he played more than four games. All right. I don't think tech. Either way, he was, tech fans aren't excited. Tech doesn't get shut

out. He's not their future. Put it that way. Tech's, they're not stoked on that. And they're coming off of a bowl, a playoff game where their quarterback was awful. Different quarterback. You're right. He was long gone now. You're right.

Couldn't have gotten pushed out of town faster. But they've got, they've got a lot of dudes. So they, and they also have like the easiest schedule of the Big 12. They're going to, so they're going to coast through the Big 12 this year.

Disagree. Dude, they're going to slip up. They're going to lose. You still got BYU. Utah. You still got Arizona State. I know Wittenham went to Michigan, but Utah still be tough.

Oh, DJ Lagways and Wic out. New Jersey Lackways and wake up Don't sleep on the Big 12 That's all I'm saying All right Look out for those Boil-Ale makers Yeah, we're talking to you motherfucker You fucking listening

Dude I can't wait for you to lose another three games And bitch about missing the playoffs Yeah dude what the hell I wouldn't bitching Yeah you were No you handled it well Sark does You handled it well

Sark's a little bitch And Sark is not a little bitch I love Sark's fun I love Sark He's gonna have to hit the bottle You're just Sark's mouth again You're just Sark's mouth for him's Dude

Dan shut up I'm going to try to get three wins again this year. What? For the boiler makers. We're going for three wins. Dude, Barry, how can get them to three wins? You stop. You have to be more into them.

Robeck sent you eight shirts, eight different Purdue Roebaks. I'm into the school. You need to get locked in. Yeah. Barry's going to get the boys cooking to four or five wins. You think so? Yeah. You know, they just need to bring back Bram.

Oh, I miss Jeff Brom. Probably could have wanted Natty with him. Probably not. No, unlikely. although Indiana won. Yeah, but it's also a school in the Signetis. Different.

Yeah, he is. Different beast. I'll tell you what. Do you want to hit your peak, though, at like 65? No. Took him a long time. He hit it at like 24. Took him a long time to get there.

Dave, Dylan already admitted that he peaked at high school. No. I haven't even peaked yet, dude. I'm still ascending. I like your positive attitude. Your positive attitude. It's aspiring. I've always had.

a widow's peak dog. When you shaving the head? Stop. I might shave mine. Should I go shave mine after the show? I got a razor if you do. Oh, we got intern Evan coming in at 1230. Just a heads up.

Shout to Evan. Who? Yeah, you didn't even know. You missed your... Old Grand Pedia of the show. Old Grandex head. You don't even know intern Evan. You remember Evan.

I do remember Evan. Is he the one that called in? That we called on cold calls? No, that's great. Dude, thanks for listening to the show. God, dude, who I work with here? what's Evan up to him got this motherfucker does respect the big 12

and this freak doesn't even know intern Evan I don't know all the Grandax interns he wasn't really a content My favorite intern was Jake because he lived in the right office he did People forget

No we don't because we talk about it all the time That was back that was back when we had Dan Like that was tank top peak tank top bulking Dan Yeah Very heavy Just watching Dan's armpid hair Like 240s blocking

For months he was recording in my office. My furniture was like rearranged and I'd come in in the park. He's cranked in there. He's like, dude, what the fuck's going on? You got to think he was cranking somewhere. You think he was pulling pud? He was definitely pulling pud. Did he ever pull pud in that office?

I never pulled put in that office. No. Not at that office. I'm going to tell you guys about a great move you can pull. And that's by utilizing Shopify. Starting something new isn't just hard. It's terrifying. So much work goes into it.

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I like it when he just does the mouth sound effect. That's also. We talking Hill Duff? Oh, baby. Do I want to do the fart? Do I want to talk about Hill-Duff, maybe farting. I vote fart. It feels weird to do this without KJ.

We got time for the fart still. We've got another read to go. We'll save the fart for the last. Is KJ a big hill-duff guy? I mean, who isn't? Yeah. Love love to do that. Why does she not doing ACO?

I don't know, man. Is she on tour this year? Oh, no. Hard to say. She put out an album. She's the cover model. She's the sports illustrated swimsuit. Very beautiful young lady.

She's got to be like a top two childhood crush with. Interesting. Top two, huh? It's either her or Kristen Cavalieri. Oh, okay. Yeah. You were a Kristen guy, not an L.C. guy. Old heads like us, Kelly Kapowski's top two.

Didn't. That does. You speak for yourself, dude. You're a different generation. We're the same age. Man, I got to think like back. three years after it was like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus

for like, you know, three years younger. Louis Duff was probably still up there. But Duff and Cavalieri, I mean, I feel like it's kind of attainable. K-Kav still got it. I mean, Britney Spears, everyone loved, too. Who's Kate? Wasn't K-Kav dating one of the Montana boys?

She was. Not anymore. I say that, like, the Montana boys are like a thing that people know about. Jay Cutler? They were married. She went from, she went from Cutler to the Montana boy. Not the bodybuilder, confusingly.

Oh. No, the Vanderbiltorback. Bears quarterback that smokes Siggs. I know. I love Jay Cutler. Smoke member smoking Jay Cutler? I like both Jay Cutler's actually. Yeah.

Don't care. Best story ever. Honestly, until Caleb, probably the best Bears quarterback in their history. Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. We've not had great quarterbacks. There's no way that's true. McMahon.

Dude. McMahon was not very good. He was just above average. Cutler was. Cutler was. He had a, he had a, he had a, Who is the best thrower? Great arm.

I'm saying that just tells you the status of the quarterback. Right. You're taking a shot at the Bears. Like Grossman wasn't a good quarterback. So if you look at the stats, like, Romo probably had better, like, more yards, all that than Roger, Troy. Romo and Dak are very similar. Where they just, they produce in the regular season.

I was Kyle Wharton boy. Boiler up. Kyle Wharton? Kyle Wharton. Cal Orton. There used to be a good photo of him with some lady. It was funny. He looks hammered.

He is hammered. I know exactly what photo you're talking about. Yeah. You're just looking at you. There's a guy who's never going to be a, not a hallfamber by no means. Calloward is a very white horse or Hearst-esque. Just carrying a clipboard for 10 years. Yeah, it's great.

Great work. Garrett Gilbert. It's good work you can get it, ma'am. Garrett Gilbert. I don't. We just had a weird period after Chubisky there. We had Dalton, like, Hoyer, too. Just random people.

Stop gaps. Yeah, it's called jockeying for the first overall pick. That's exactly what that is. It's okay. You can have a quarterback that isn't the best thrower of football. It's true. But you're stuck with them because they won a Super Bowl. It's true.

I see you on Thanksgiving, by the way. Yeah. How does that feel? Is this the first time you, in recent memory, I played on Thanksgiving? Because they're doing the other game now. They added the game. There's a third or fourth game, right?

It's just like, yeah, I mean, come on. Besides the lines and the Cowboys, there's always a third game. Yeah. I'm excited. I've been to Jerry World for a Cowboys Eagles game. Been to a couple, actually. It's fine. It's nice.

It's cool. Spending 80 bucks apart. It's totally cool. 30 bucks on whiskey Coke. Great, dude. Awesome way to do it. Really, really helpful for the fans. And then, like, since it's a day, a late afternoon game,

the sun will come through and blind the players as they're trying to make a game-changing catch. So great. Smart. But Hillary Duff, man, what do you think, Bonner King? Let's see some photos. Sports Illustrated. I don't have it. I don't know.

As horny as you guys are. Pull it up. It's too bad. I've got a girlfriend now. I don't get horny. I don't even want to look at this. Do you want me to come over there and pull it up? I just can't acknowledge another pretty woman.

Randy, do your job. Pretty woman. You really want me to pull these things up? She's on Randy's laptop. Pretty Woman. Do you want the YouTube to grow or not? Hillary Duff. He's over here optimizing.

You guys didn't even link it. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Pretty woman. What sport does she play? Walking down the street. Oh, Randy. If you were to guess. Oh, maybe soccer.

Took a picture. Maybe a softball player. Oh, she's got cool tat. I don't know. She was so tatted up. Good for her. Those are cool tats. That's classic Austin tats.

Those are hot grilled tats. Yeah. No rhyme or reason to him. Yeah, it's just kind of how I was feeling I did. Party tats. I mean, I can't say anything with my tattoos. You don't have party tats, though. No, I mean, they're not sprinkled throughout my box.

Brady's got a party tat, kind of. You and Brett. She still got it, man. Yeah, she's, what, 36? I don't know. Something like that. She's my, like, around my age.

Is that, is the new album any good? 38. Oh, she's 38. So she's three years older than me. I gotta tell you, Dave, I haven't listened to it. Why? Got to tell you, I've never listened to her music ever. She's off my musical radar, that's why.

Rebecca Black. She's not a different radar, though. I'll be going to see Rebecca Black at ACL. That Friday is going to be the day. It's Friday. Yeah, that'll do it. Well, good for her, man. I love to see a couple days after Mother's Day.

Love to see Mom's thriving. Yeah, she has what for kids? Three or four, right? Damn. Good for her, man. Oh. Okay. Okay.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, he's already seen this. Do they still print like the actual Sports Illustrated? Yeah. Magazine. They do. They print like 200 of them. There's no one buys them anymore.

It's just all online. Famously, uh, Will DeFries blew the story about, uh, Kate Upton being the... Yes, he did. The cover photo. Somehow a store in Harbor, Springs of Michigan got one of the first copies. I don't know how that happens. He put it on Twitter.

Like the day before I was actually supposed to release. I was pre-grandex Will to Freeze too. I feel like everyone here kind of is like a Sports Illustrated story. I don't. Some connection. I really don't, actually. No, I don't. I never dated anybody who was a swimsuit model.

No. I was featured in New York Times once. He was in the Rolling Stone. I also got blasted by the New York Times. And then I had to write a response piece. The failing New York Times? The failing New York Times. Came at Tfm.

Had to defend our honor. Pretty woman. We had to get Dan on it. Well, they directly mentioned me. So I had to respond. You don't have to get into it. What was that for? Is that for the golf?

They called us, like, misogynist and, uh. That'd be fair. No, it wasn't, though. I was like, I did one thing. Okay, it was the, it was the thing. It was one thing, specific it wasn't like an overall no it was for tfm girls oh oh oh i thought this is the okay and then i i said that you know i actually give i'm uh the biggest feminist on online people have been

saying that that's kind of your thing i was one of the first people that was pro uh sex work online woke damn look at this is that in a roundabout way yeah is that on your resume yeah one of the first people who is pro sex work online i was on the right side of history for that and a pre-only fan world yeah yeah it's kind of funny you see the other girls that were like a part of tfm girls and what they're doing now do you ever do that i don't i don't keep up with them there are some that i like become big influencers they'll just naturally pop up you remember some of the names because they would dm like a million times you have their careers they spanned the shit out of the dms and it would be that was good exposure that was a huge account bush and ross were the ones

that had to, like, DM on back and, like, we're... Oh, no, I guess we'll be on these hot chicks all day. Yeah. I was professional. I don't know about the other two, but... No, they were. Come on. Come on.

Can we do the last read so we get to this fart? All right, hold on. Let's do a little time for... Yeah, forget Hillary Duff. Let's get to the fart. Fart, it's a good fart. Hang on. It's an all-time fart.

It's probably top ten most insane farts. And I got to say. Right there. I got to say. Dylan, your glasses, man. Oh, my Warby Parkers? I noticed, yeah, what's going on? Dude, I love these things.

They are blue light blockers, but they are also sunglasses or transition lenses, Dave. I have the same frames. Only mine are sunglasses. And yours are black, I believe. Yes, they are. They're very cool. The brimmers. These are the brimmers.

The brimmers. If you want to look like me, get the brimmers. Man, when it comes to quality for the price, Warby Parker is the best. It's not even close. Yeah, you just have to be. to choose between flimsy outdated styles or spending half your paycheck. Warby Parker completely changed that. Their prescription glasses start at $95 so you can actually get quality and stylish frames at an affordable price. Maybe the best part of Warby, for every pair they sell,

they also give a pair to someone in need. Warby Parker has distributed over 20 million pairs of glasses to people in need through its buy a pair, give a pair program right now by one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional prescription pairs at Warbyparker.com slash steam. It's 20% off additional prescription pairs when you go to W-A-R-B-Y Parker.com slash steam. Let's see the force and let's hear what's being dubbed the fart of the year. Before we get into the far of the year, I have to acknowledge something that happened in the chat. Because I didn't have the chat window pulled up. But I don't know if he was watching the whole time or he just like Beetlejuice did.

KJ immediately appeared in the chat. He started talking about Hillary. What did he say? You said, yes, we want you to pull these things up. And he's just like, you started, you saw that bad signal? You started tingling. It's like, there's supposed to be about Hillary. I got, I got tuned in right now.

All right, let's get this. Welcome, KJ. Let's get to the fart. Fart of the year. I want Randy to give it a live, a live rating. So we got, we're going to obviously need volume here. What did you before we do it. So people know what they're hearing.

This is a horse who appears to have. a little. He's got some bloat. A little gastro issue, a little bloated. Who just told, who told us the other day they've never been bloated? Was it Brett? Brett. Brett says he's never been bloated. That's up there with Dylan's never been hung over.

That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, Yeah, but I think Brett doesn't eat much. That's true. Used to. It's like a spoonful of rice is lunch. Yeah, Brett, it's pretzels. Brett used to be a, a bigger lad than he is now. Anyway, let's get to the fort.

It's a horse laying down. If you can't see it, you're only listening. And there's a lady. lady who's helping the horse with the gas problem pushing on his stomach What horses can lay down Cows can't

Is that right? Is that the whole thing With the cow tipping? I don't know No, no, no I rarely tip I think they can lay down I think you kill them

When you knock them over I don't think That's the kills Not a cow tip That is what we gotta put her down She's laying down You just like fucking Tip them over

And they if they're on their Side too long I think they die Okay, maybe on the other side. Cows lied down. Yes, cows frequently lie down. What about on their side? There's a picture of one right here laying down.

There you go. Look, they're all dead. They're on their sides. They're on their bellies. I mean, this one's on its side, but it does kind of like that. That's a dead cow. No. Just play the damn sword.

Play the look. Get to the fart, Randy. It's an insane fart. It's an insane. It's a top ten insane fart. Pressing. Oh, a little one there. feels it coming

it sounds like a chainsaw that's a tree trimmer that's a chainsaw dude oh that's an insane fart that's a stock car just driving by yeah the Texas Jeep guy on TikTok god

horse starts looking around like are you fucking hearing this you need to update the top 10 insane fart TikTok clude this one it did sound like distant tree trimming going that's like you wake up

that's Saturday morning you got to get the paper yeah Like mark down the way, it's just working it. It triggers that memory. He doesn't work. That's Dave moaned as long. You walk over, like, what did you work on?

No, I just got a horse here that farted. No, that was the horse. Just a little bloat. Okay. Hey, Toccaria Diaz. That's a good way to close down a show right there. That was a great fart. That's a great fart, dude.

That's a 10-10 fart. Serious. That's a serious toot. How long are you doing her? It's good, Randy. That's good. You should match those together. Make that.

Oh, that'd go freaking viral. All right. Do it on TikTok. Hand up. Cows can lay down. Yeah, we know. They cannot sleep deeply while standing up. They don't REM cycle standing up?

No. That's too bad. Do you. Did you see that, did you see that dude in Miami who passed out of the bar and pissed himself or whatever? Uh-uh. Look up crypto Miami bar. This is why this would be the last thing.

This is all over my timeline. Why is my timeline such a pop-up? No, but I don't even... An activation? Maybe. I'm probably getting... I'm really giving Randy nothing to... Yeah, I looked up.

Crypto Bar Passout? This is a video that we're looking for? Correct. And this is bad. Yeah. This is not. Yeah. I'll think we're going to find this one here.

I'm going to put up Miami. Oh, that's not in high spell Miami. That's great. The search function for Twitter and for Instagram are almost worthless sometimes. There it is. Oh, okay. You want.

Oh, hold on. Let me go back. I didn't have it up. He split his chin up. He's peeing? He was trying to get it out. Yeah, he's just peeing on the side of the bar there. Oh, yeah, there was a stream.

Did he slip it on his own pee? Oh, he did pee. Oh, he's definitely covered in peepee. That's tough. That's a tough look, man. No. No. Now he's concussed.

I've never gotten pee on the bar drunk before. Nah. I wonder if he just... I'm pretty good about being like, yeah, it's probably time to go. Or just like, where's the restroom? you know okay hey good show today guys thanks dan thanks dan thanks dan thanks dan thanks dan thanks thanks dad hey congrats on the new job thank you we'll see you for patreon bye softcore history bye bye soft core history yeah you want to plug anything else dan before i i i cannot

just soft core history go watch subscribe anywhere you find podcast and youtube bye bye