Circling Back - Pretty Face Filters & Koepka's Champion's Dinner Menu

Episode Date: May 15, 2019

Rating Brooks Koepka's menu from the PGA Championship's Champions Dinner, discussing Snapchat's new Pretty Girl Filter, Dave reads terrible Twitter Moments headlines, and This Weekend In Fun presented by Icenhauer's. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (8:40) Do These Twitter Moments Headlines Interest You? (14:22) Will Has A Mark On His Face (23:30) Brooks Koepka's PGA Champions Dinner Menu (47:14) Snapchat Pretty Face Filters (55:44) This Weekend In Fun Postmates: Download the app and use CIRCLING for $100 in delivery credits. Dave.com: www.dave.com/circling --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast it's wednesday my name is will the freeze to my right day bro is this a circling back pad cast fucking pad well you're the prettiest bitch i've ever met so like i thought we Will Freeze to my right, Dave Ruff. Is this a circling back pad cast? Fucking pad. Well, you're the prettiest bitch I've ever met. So, like, I thought we were doing Jersey Shore stuff. He's the sweetest bitch. Sweetest bitch you've ever met. What'd I say?

Prettiest. He is the prettiest. He is quite pretty, though. Freudian slip over here. You got a little crush on our boy Dave or what? No, honestly, Dave's pretty girl filter on Snapchat did nothing for me. You don't like my pretty girl swag? It didn't get you moving? No. Yours, Dave's pretty girl filter on Snapchat did nothing for me. You don't like my pretty girl swag? It didn't get you moving?

No. Yours, though. A lot of people did like mine. You had a really tough time with your beard. I didn't know quite what to do with your beard. Chill out. This is later on the pod. Let's not do this.

You're the one who brought it up, dickhead. You look like something went wrong in the birthing process. I think I'll explain later. Damn. It's a filter. Just'll explain later. Damn. It's a filter. Just at people with fucking disabilities. Okay, anyway. Dylan.

Hey, what's up, guys? What's up? Happy to be here, man. It's just been a great week so far and it's going to continue to roll on. Wow, okay. You know what I'm saying, Dave? Hit me one time.

All right. Positive Instagram account guy. We just pounded it. Yeah. We just pounded it. Yeah. We just pounded. Do you have a new Instagram account called Dorn's Good News? Yeah. Daily Motivate with Dylan?

Yeah, I think that's a pretty watered-down market at this point. I don't think I'm going to dive in. Have you seen Big Time Tommy on Instagram? Yes, that guy's fucking great. I hit him with a follow. Hey, it's Big Time Tommy. Big Time Tommy. It's this dude from Long Island, this older Italian guy.

Speaking of Jersey. He's got the gold chains and the wife beater and stuff, and he just does this motivational stuff with a cigar in his mouth, and he calls himself Big Time Tommy. Oh, dude. It's so funny. He's pretty inspiring. Hey, it's Big Time Tommy.

He kind of reminds me of um oh fuck i was gonna make a wayne's world reference i don't think y'all would remember mr big the record exec in wayne's world that they tracked down in the limo at the very end i think so he reminds me of mr big but this is big time tommy i haven't seen wayne's world in forever it stands up i will say that we should do a rewatch. Eh. Maybe that's what we'll do in the optimal. Oh, Dylan, just because you've never seen it. Do you know that when Dave produces the Mailman podcast,

he does the three and then the silent two-one count before we record every single time? Consummate professional. It's pretty funny. It gets me laughing. This Dave, man. So if you turn on the the mail and Dylan's kind of chuckling when he starts it

that's why he gets a good humorous chuckle out of it this goofy motherfucker over here hey shout out to Noah James on Twitter I lost a stars bet to you

and I said I'd shout you out actually I didn't lose it too you put a hundo on the stars and I lost and I said I'd give you a shout I did give you a shout but then we lost this is consolation prize

this is consolation prize we lost the podcast that I did it on not our. This is consolation prize. This is consolation prize. We lost the podcast that I did it on. Not our fault. The mic was messed up. We might release it anyway. Who cares? No, we can't.

I tried to salvage it. It's completely unreleasable. There's some good stuff on there. No, it was a really good podcast. I'm pissed that it's unusable because it was really entertaining. My biggest fear was that the one we re-recorded, people would be like, you can tell that they just didn't have it for this one.

That's what I felt like. And I would have been like, okay. We had to change a lot of stuff and ditch certain segments that wouldn't work. It was a bummer. Our groundbreaking segment where we just went in on businesses that open up under your apartment building.

You really enjoyed that one. Dude, I got to shit on Scientologists. I got to actually go in on Scientologists and their stupid cruise ship at length and we lost it all. We did like 30 minutes on the measles cruise. It's just upsetting. By the way, what's the update

on the measles cruise? You're my correspondent for this. I think I used the term eradicate for that particular cruise with the measles outbreak. You're my correspondent for this. I think I used the term eradicate for that particular cruise with the measles outbreak. Which, you know. Hey, I have a question. This is based on the dude that Dave just shouted out. What do you think about people that hedge their bets

when it comes to their favorite sports teams by betting on the other team just in case? The emotional hedge. It's weird because I don't know. If you win, you lose. If you lose, you win. So it hedge. It's weird because you're, I don't know. If you win, you lose. If you lose, you win. So it sucks.

It's trash to me. Yeah. I'd rather go all in or the other way. And if you win and you lose money, that takes away from your win. That's what I'm saying. So I'm like, yeah. If you win, you lose. If you lose, you win.

And like, if I hate a team, there's no way I'm going to put money on that. I feel like, man, no offense to anybody who does this, but I feel like if you're doing this, you're kind of a little bit too deep into the gambling game. Like if you're doing emotional hedges. Yeah. Straight hedges are great if you have like a parlay, like a big parlay that might hit. You have one leg left

in the parlay. To hedge that is a very smart move. Yeah. I can get down with that. But the emotional hedge, I'm not behind it. No. Go all in. That was your daily motivate. Just handle your emotions when it comes to your favorite team.

Just figure it out. Figure it out. Or just have a hard and fast rule. You don't bet on them. Yeah. Yeah, because then you lose twice if you bet on them. And they lose. I never bet on them.

This wasn't an intentional thing, but when I was going through my sports betting phase i never i never bet on detroit teams but that was just mainly because i part of the reason i sports bet was so i would have an investment in games i usually didn't care about and they'd be entertaining to me you're just looking for an edge yeah looking for some action yeah we should all pick another major city like metropolitan that has multiple teams and that's going to be the teams that we we bet on

we just ride or die with yeah we bet for or against like those are the games that would probably be a really stupid bet I don't know who I'd choose TBD I might be a Seattle boy

I might go with New York just because their fan base is so hilarious we had some people come at us when we said that we didn't have any Knicks fans that listened to the podcast. What at us? Come. C-O-M-E.

Oh. We need to give a major shout out to everybody who signed up for Patreon or people that upgraded their plans from the normal plan to the optimized content plan. That's why it's been such a good week for me.

It's been a great week. Yesterday's first Bachelorette podcast was a roaring success. It was a heater. Not only did we talk Bachelorette for a while, we even told some personal anecdotes that had nothing to do with it. For those people at home who were like, I'm going to apologize. I snapped. Yeah.

I didn't expect that. Yeah, you really did. We knew we had to bring it yesterday, and bring it we did. I'm not just. I snapped. Yeah. I didn't expect that. Yeah, you really did. We knew we had to bring it yesterday, and bring it we did. I'm not just saying that either. I was a little worried when we got in here, and I was like, wow, we gotta do an entire hour on this. And then we could have done two hours. I'm not. I wasn't worried because every other time we've tried to do Bachelor content and be like, alright, we got 20 minutes of this.

We always end up doing like 40. So it's like, I knew it was going to go well. And there's no easier content than The Bachelor. It's so entertaining every single time. Oh, and then Crick dropped. Yeah. Shouts to Crick. Come on.

If you're not familiar, there's a new tier structure. You can do your $5 backers tier, which will get you one listener voicemail episode every single Friday. A $5 tier that's Bachelorette only you might not care about us i respect that five dollars gets you all the bachelorette content you need including the crick watson breakdown and for ten dollars you get it all it's an all-you-can-eat buffet yeah it's a good way of looking at it i like that hey how bad did it suck when you're doing a multiple choice test in high school, and you're like, no, that's not it. And you're like, B.

You're like, nah, C, nah. And then you get to D, and you're like, all of the above. You're like, there's no way it's all of the above. Dude. You got down to D, you're like, fuck. Could it possibly be all these? Or the worst is when they threw on an E, and it was like A and B. Dude. And you're like, all B. Dude, that was bad.

And you're like, all right, well, I'm done. I wasn't good at multiple choice. What if you answer A like four times in a row? Like one of these has got to be wrong. Yeah. They wouldn't do that to us. Exactly. You just got trudged through, though.

Bullshit. You just got to keep going. You can't have the last one switch because you got a bunch in a row. You have to just keep going with your gut. I hated multiple choice. I'm terrible at it. More like multiple guess. Oh, man.

For some of us. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. For the dumbasses. What are we doing here? What now? I don't know. Let's introduce our first segment called,

Hey, do these Twitter entertainment headlines interest you? By David Ruff this is we're really doing it yeah yeah it's a new segment it's called hey do these twitter entertainment headlines interest you we're going to go through what's popping on twitter moments i guess and um just want to see if it interests you guys ready sure a northwest directed old Town Road visual makes its debut. I am uninterested in that particular topic. Hold on, do it again. A Northwest directed Old Town Road visual makes its debut.

Northwest is the daughter of Kanye. How is she directing it? It's probably like a cute little, you know, her version of it. It's not like a serious thing does it interest you? are you interested? no I'm kind of annoyed that like

we're giving director credits to four year olds why? that's art because they're fucking four did you see they had their fourth kid? pay your dues well I mean someone else

had their fourth kid I didn't even know she oh she wasn't she wasn't surrogate ah surrogate I didn't even know that someone was pregnant with their kid. I didn't even know she... Oh, she wasn't pregnant. She wasn't. Surrogate. Ah, surrogate. I didn't even know that someone was pregnant with their

kid. Dude, they didn't... Before they chose their surrogate, it got out how much they were going to pay the surrogate. Honestly, I feel like they got screwed. How much did you pay? It was like $30,000 or $40,000. What's the regular going rate? I don't know. Probably close to that.

You can get them on Craigslist for like $5,000. Dude, there's definitely surge pricing when kim and kanye get in the picture i'm like sorry if i'm carrying your baby i'm charging way more what's surge pricing is that where you just pound surge god damn it i'm not off to a strong start read your next headline a surrogate hold on a surrogate pregnancy typically costs about 60 grand the total I'm not off to a strong start. Read your next headline. Hold on. A surrogate pregnancy typically costs about $60,000. The total cost typically includes a fee of between $13,000 and $25,000 for the surrogate services. Maybe that's... Oh, okay.

So they're paying double the fee. Yeah. But still. Still, like... That's a famous baby inside you. Dude, famous-ass baby. You gotta take advantage of that. Yeah.

I don't know if you saw this, but Selena Gomez rocked her Cannes Film debut. I'll read it again. Selena Gomez rocked her Cannes Film Festival debut. Yeah. She rocked it. That doesn't do anything for me.

I do like Selena. I'm just happy she rocked it. Is it con? I don't know. I've heard both. I don't know. I don't know. Cannes will always be funny to me, Dylan.

You know what I'm talking about. No, I don't. Yeah, you do. I don't know. Cans will always be funny to me, Dylan. You know what I'm talking about. No, I don't. Yeah, you do. I don't think so. That's a joke for four. Maybe five. Turns out these aren't very good. Did they change, dude? The Twitter moment, if you click off of it, it changes and you get shitty

headlines. Damn. You should have taken a screenshot play, boy. Sarah Paulson and Uzo Aduba among the new stars added to FX drama Mrs. America. That's something I might be interested in. I'm not. No, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. Can I give a solicited recommendation for something not to watch?

Yeah, I love these. Wine Country. Okay. Netflix. Amy Poehler. love these. Wine Country. Okay. Netflix. Amy Poehler. Tina Fey. Really? Not good. How do they screw...

Is that a drama or is it just like... Comedy. Here's the thing. How do they fuck that up? Amy Poehler, who's currently in Austin, by the way,

she's clearly doing the Adam Sandler move of like, hey, I want to tape a movie somewhere dope with all my friends. Let's go to Napa together. That's what she did.

It's not a good movie. That was like us but with content at TGI Fridays and Corpus Christi. Exactly. It was the same thing. It was like,

where can we go that we love? Corpus. I watched two episodes of Veep. Man, I didn't know that the quirky guy

from Arrested Development was in that show. That guy's hilarious. Dude, it gets better and better and better. Okay. The second to last season, meh. I'll stay with it.

Every other season, specifically this final one, was just phenomenal. And I will go on record saying, I don't want to spoil anything for you. Or me. I called the end. I didn't just call it like two episodes out. At the very first episode of the final season, I said, this is what's happening. Your boy. Okay. Not a huge call. goal well that was a fun new segment david thank you for bringing that to us yeah it might be the last time we see that segment we might retire that one yeah you

gotta take a screenshot there was like a meme out there that said every time you click on twitter moments like if you open twitter and it goes to twitter moments there's always really good headlines but then you click off and it's gone. See, I screwed this up. You know, there's also a heading on here. So you've got For You, you've got News, Sports, Entertainment, and also Fun. Ooh, Fun. Fun Headlines is what we should have been doing. Boston's sexy accent has got people talking.

Podcast. Did you see the Boston accent was rated like number two hot accent? Nope. I saw that. I don't get it. It's not, though. Hey, let me tell you this. This is a day of editorial.

People are clapping back. Boston accents are not great. Oh, this is the best one. It wouldn't be prom night without at least one epic fail. People are still using epic fail? I mean, it wouldn't be prom night without it. Oh, no. People are still using epic fail?

I mean, it wouldn't be prom night without it, so. Oh, no. That phrase, epic fail, is probably my least favorite internet-ism of all time. I feel like I remember this from my third day working at Grand X. You were very adamant that someone not ever say epic fail. It's not just a fail, Dave. It's an epic one. Dave, do you have any more headlines for us? Should we move on?

Balancing your need for privacy and your cat's need to people watch. This is under fun. All this is fun. No, this is not fun. I'm out of fun. All right. I'm sorry. Twitter moments are canceled.

God, that was terrible. Yeah, it was. Hey, can we just talk about the elephant in the room real quick? Which is? The fucking mark on my face yeah well i didn't know we were going to talk about it we weren't going to but i just can't get over it it looks like someone took a a pool cue and just put the the felt in right in the middle of your forehead and just twist it a couple times it looks like you were abducted by aliens and they were just doing bits like they're like we don't need to directly probe this guy let's just fuck his face yeah dude so i'm sitting there last night i was grinding late last night not to stunt on everybody but i was a grind boy were you on

adderall you sent an adderall email no i was grinding on i i was grinding i'm trying to get merch to the people out there oh yeah and so i was doing it. Dude, no. When I get hot on a task, it's like taking Adderall. I have to finish the task. Don't you wish you could bottle that feeling up and just tincture it whenever you needed it? Yeah. When you're really going

and you know you're going? Instead, I get it once a month. Dude, I'm lucky for that. And so last night, I was going through some stuff and I sent this email. And while I'm sending the email, Sally busts in

and we had just gotten a new... we had just got an amazon package uh she busts in and she has this contraption that almost looks like a do you know like an immersion blender looks like yes it kind of looks like that but without like the long end it's a blackhead machine that sucks the blackheads out of your face. I don't care about blackheads. If someone has bad blackheads, I don't even notice it. I'm not like, oh, look, that person has gross blackheads. I'd rather not have blackheads, but I see your point.

They're not very noticeable. In terms of things on your face, they're so minor to me. Yeah, the blackhead is the least of what you should worry about, I think. I don't even know if I could identify a blackhead on my face. Like, I don't know if I could say, oh, this is a blackhead right here. So, she told me that I had one, like, up my nose, pretty much in between my eyebrows. She sticks it to my face and just starts doing it. And I'm like, dude, what's going on?

I'm pissed. She spotted one black head i don't know blackhead keep in mind they're like borderline microscopic dude so then she starts doing it and i'm like i'm like seriously stop get away from me with this thing like what are you even doing she's like yeah i think i got it and then i'm like okay where is it in this little nozzle like show me what it show me the extracted blackhead she's like yeah it's like a speck in there i'm like no you didn't get it i don't look in the mirror all last night like whatever i wake up this morning let rosie out go up into the bathroom i look in the mirror for two seconds and i'm like what the hell is on my face right now rewind this stupid blackhead thing it's legit

between your eyes dude like it's so bad. And, like, we have a... We're doing a presentation on Friday. I'm seeing some people I haven't seen in a long time on Friday. If this dumbass thing isn't off my face, I'm going to lose my mind. You're going to lose it. Yeah. You should just grow your unibrow out.

I'm just going to fucking... I'm just going to get sunglasses and just, like, wear them everywhere. Just party shades. Dude, I think you need to recreate the uh andrew wk cd cover where you know he had like hit himself in the nose and was bleeding you should just do that with your thing see this is what i wish you could you've been i wish one of you would have been watching barry this entire time because we we could make a joke about can we

tweet a photo of it i have a photo on my phone. Yeah, I mean, I'll tweet it, I guess. First of all, let me say this. I'm really just mad. I think by Friday it's going to be less than noticeable. If that makes you feel any better. Yeah, this is as bad as it'll get. It's not that noticeable, really. I didn't notice until Dave pointed it out.

I didn't point it out. Who did? Will brought it up. Oh. I wasn't going to say anything. Until it was brought up, I hadn't noticed it. So, there. I didn't point it out it's noticeable who did will brought it up oh i wasn't i wasn't gonna say until it was brought up i hadn't noticed it so there i didn't come in just like it like for the people at home that are wondering what the hell we're talking about you know when people get cupped like michael phelps at the olympics it looks like that but on my fucking face it's a little hickey yeah yeah have you ever gotten a hickey uh no i don't think no i haven't have you um

i've never understood i don't think so i give a girl one in eighth grade though and it was like news oh why like that makes a lot of sense why do why do people give hickeys i don't know i was like i was like i was just wondering if it worked you're very territorial no i was just wondering if it worked in it it did did. How long did it take? I think I was going at it for like 15 seconds. Okay. Like not a lot. Quick one.

Quickie. That's par for the course for you. Was it like in the back of a movie theater? No, it wasn't. Or was it? In the back of your Corvette? This was in eighth grade. Why are we talking about eighth grade Dylan hooking up?

He brought it up. Yeah, creep. Yeah, that was fun. You should just tell people you joined one of those fraternities that brands you on the arm, but they're doing a new one. It's just a face brand. You just joined the Q-Dolls. It's just frustrating, man.

I've never had bad skin or anything. I really don't care. If I get a zit, I just handle it. I handle my business. Ingrown hairs, I pluck that shit out. Like, blackheads, come on. Who cares? And now I got this stupid mark on my face.

I don't even think there was one there. I think she just didn't want to do it to herself first. Wow, you were just, you were the beta. You were the test balloon. Don't say beta. Sorry. Yeah, no, I was the fucking, I were the beta. You were the test balloon. Don't say beta. Sorry. Yeah, no, I was the fucking... I was the... Guinea pig.

Yeah. Control group? I don't fucking know. I don't know. We just botched a bunch of science terms. Dude, whatever. Well, Will, I... It is kind of funny because I thought...

I don't know. It's such a perfect little cylinder. Yeah, if you saw the contraption, you'd see why. Also, I was like, how much did that cost? Because that went on my credit card, just to be full transparency. I was like, how much did that cost? You didn't tell me you were adding this to your Amazon order. I thought we were getting toilet paper and detergent.

You know what? If this thing doesn't go away by tomorrow, we should stand in solidarity and all do it. So when we go on Friday, we all have this. I don't think so. Yeah, we're doing in solidarity and all do it. So when we go on Friday, we all have this. I don't think so. Yeah, we're doing it. I don't think so. Yeah.

That thing costs $15. If it's only $15, I don't think I should be sucking things out of my face. I need like a $45 contraption for that. Go on Craigslist. $45 to suck on my face? You can get a surrogate

in one of those blackhead extractors Fuck that When you need red wine at 4pm Sushi at 9pm And a breakfast burrito at 8am And ibuprofen at 10am Just Postmate it What about a blackhead sucker?

Postmate it You can probably get one of those You might have to type it into your runner But you could easily make that happen. Postmates is your personal food delivery, grocery delivery, whatever kind of delivery service you want all year round. Anything you're craving, they can deliver.

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oh, I'm hungry. Boom, boom, boom. Pizza delivered. Done. There it is. Got a post from my mates here. Oh, postmates.

I postmated some Forsters. I don't know if you can do that. No, you can't. I'm sorry. Hypothetically. But if you download

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Anything you need, anytime you want it, Postmate it. Download Postmates and save with code circling. Your fiance pointed this out on the mail that Chili's is frequently on the $3.99 or cheap delivery. Yeah. I feel like that's a good thing for this weekend. I'm an absolute whore for the reduced delivery rates.

Oh yeah, you are a dirty little girl. When they have those reduced rates, I'm in. Yeah. You know who has it a lot? P. Terry's. You love P. Terry's. I love it.

And so it's always there. Another one they have a lot is this random Chinese restaurant that I would never go to. I don't even know where it is, but I order it because it's got the reduced rate. Oh, is it Chang's PF? No, that'd be tight though.

They know that they don't need to do a reduced delivery rate for PF Chang's. PF Chang's was like $45 worth of food five years ago. One Saturday when I was real hungover. I was tight. I was by myself. That's awesome.

Have yourself a day, Dave. when I was real hungover. I was tight. I was by myself. That's awesome. Yeah, it was really sick. Have yourself a day, Dave. I was on one. It's kind of funny to go through your old deliveries because it's like, oh man, that was a good hangover that day. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I was struggling that day.

Oh yeah. It's good if you're sick. Oh, it's the best. This is just added value right now. I just like talking about my deliveries. Hey, new segment. It's just called, Oh Yeah., yeah.

Oh, yeah. Can we talk about Brooks Koepka's PGA Champions dinner? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We've been tagged in this no less than four times. Did you even know that they had a PGA Champions dinner? No.

I'm going to say, yeah, I knew that, but I had no idea. I figured this is the first one and they might be acting like this is a regular thing. Yeah, you know the Masters does this. Very well known. Let me ask you this. Where does the PGA Championship rank on your list of majors? Number four. It's everybody's number four, David.

It honestly might be number five. It's number five behind the players. David, get out of here with that stupid question. Look, I just asked the questions, okay? This hands down my least favorite one. It's not's number four, David. It honestly might be number five. Like, it's number five behind the players. David, get out of here with that stupid question. Look, I just asked the questions, okay? This hands down my least favorite one. It's not even close. It's a trash major. It's a course-dependent major.

It's like the guy who made it to your friend group even though no one really likes him, but he's there somehow. He just keeps showing up. He's been around enough that he weasels his way into the group text and you still invite him places. It's like, God, Garrett's coming over again. Dude, Garrett. why garrett i don't know man it's like dude yeah there aren't many cool garretts that's why but like you can also take advantage of garrett and like like have him go get your food for you and stuff like hey like hey garrett can you pick up some ice on the

way to the party dude thanks did y'all ever have uh this is speaking of garrett's did y'all ever have the dude in high school who before before you and your boys could drive, he was maybe a grade older or he was older for your grade that you hung out with just because he could drive and had a car? I didn't hang out with him just because they could, but it was definitely a benefit. We had a guy like that, and looking back, I feel bad about it. There was a guy that I would skate with him. He was two years older, and we would skate, and he was two years older and we would skate and he would like to go to places that were driving distance away and uh one time he made me roll a joint for

him in his car he was like if I'm driving you you're rolling a joint for me and I was like I don't think you want 14 year old me rolling you a joint dude like I've never even touched weed before no 14 year old has ever rolled a good no and like. And I was like, dude, do you really want... You're going to have to throw all this away, redo it. And he was like, no, just do it. I'm going to guide you. And it's the only joint I've ever rolled. And it must have been terrible.

Is this like Dazed and Confused Part 2? I don't know. That's how I'm picturing this. They might have been... Like he's got just an arm out the window. Are you cool, man? I hate to freeze. To freeze is a good Dazed and Confused name.

I hate to freeze. God. a good days in confusion freeze god i can't believe i even take flights anymore without mcconaughey on them shut up it's so lame once you fly with mcconaughey it's really hard to fly like without him is it is that true yeah it's like flying private like once you know what it feels like you're just looking around like where is he man he's not on this one you get uncomfortable 100 yeah it's the thing i'm always with you i've never had a celebrity of that caliber on a flight before, so now that I know what it feels like, it's like... He's private jet status.

Why is he on a Southwest flight? He wanted a quick jaunt to the Big Apple. He does not own a private jet. I don't think he's got private jet money. Most of these people don't own the jets that they fly on. But he can do a netty. He can do net jets. They have have their people set them up for them. If they need to fly them in for something like,

we've got a PJ ready for you. The guy tucks in t-shirts to jeans. I think he's pretty humble. You know what I mean? I think he would feel weird on a PJ. Yeah. Do you see Drake's PJ? No.

Did you see Drake's PJ, Will? No. Drake straight up bought a jet. It's like a 737. It is see Drake's PJ, Will? No. Drake straight up bought a jet. It's like a 737. It is not your normal PJ. That's too big. And the inside of it, it's immaculate. It's incredible.

I bet he's getting killed on gas. You know how I don't know how old kids are? Do they take gas? Or some other kind of fuel? It's jet fuel. What is jet fuel, though? It melts steel beams. Okay, but what kind of fuel is it?

I think it's unleaded. 87 octane? Yeah, it's super. The thing is, you have to turn off the engine of the plane when you fill it up, otherwise it'll explode. And you can't be on your cell phone when they're filling it up because the static could make it explode. I got the curious bug. I got to look it up. I don't know the difference between any planes.

You could drop any number or whatever. No. What's the biggest plane you've been on? I think I've been on the 750. I don't know the difference between any planes. You could drop any number or whatever. No. What's the biggest plane you've been on? I think I've been on the 750. I don't know. I literally have no clue. It's like BMW. I don't know the series. Oh, you should. I don't. The 3 Series is like the lower end one. The 5 Series

it's like, okay, you're making 6 figs. And the 7 Series is like, oh, you hit a lick. Are you interested in the kind of fuel no but go ahead not really come this far airplanes use a special type of petroleum-based fuel called aviation fuel it is made of very high quality petroleum spirit and contains additives to prevent icing or explosion there you go it's made of avion yeah it's avion one so avionion? Of course I remember Avion. It was a big part of our lives. So this gas is just icing itself?

It's just like giving each other smearing off ices and chugging them on the spot? I think it's a little different, but yeah. Wait, are you saying the gas is doing that? Yeah. I just don't think that that's what's happening. At like a particle level? Yeah. That would be weird if we found out that's what was happening.

Man, y'all should look up Drake's jet. It is stupid. How'd we get here from Brooks Koepka's dinner? It's just a classic derail. That's all right. Dude, it's the second. If you just type in Drake on Google, private jet is the second suggested thing.

Dude, check that bitch out. That is gold. Let me guess. What's the first one? Drake's son name or something? Drake's kid. Wow. I want to know how much that thing costs.

Kids are expensive. Yeah. Kids are stupid expensive. I think kids cost like 200 grand to raise from zero to 18, something like that. This is pointless. Why? This plane is pointless. Why? This plane is pointless. What do you mean it's pointless?

That is a sick plane. Yeah, but... Give us some specs on it. Just go G5. They're smaller. You know, it's just... The inside looks like a damn cruise ship. Yes.

It's incredible. It's incredible, but no one needs that. It's excessive. It holds a lot of people. He takes Zans before he flies 13 hours the whole time can't enjoy it yeah half his hands it's true half his hand yeah i mean can you imagine him taking a whole one he might never wake up it's crazy yeah it's something to think about so brooks let's talk about the first course

a heritage club salad pork belly i don't know how to say this word. Lardons. I think you nailed it. Lardon. Is it? Probably not. Baby spinach. Summer strawberries.

Silvered almonds. Slivered. Not silvered. Oh. And strawberry Dijon vinaigrette. Okay. Okay. It says summer strawberry.

What does that mean? Is it just... What does that mean? Like they plucked them in the summertime? I mean, what's going on? That's what they call my Snapchat filter. You don't have to designate the season. This salad is trash. It sounds like it's very keto friendly.

I want to know what a pork belly lard in this is. Spinach is good for a lot of things. It cannot be the only green in your salad. Oh, I love spinach salad. Love. I think I understand what you're saying. My biggest issue. You want a mix of power greens.

My biggest issue is that I am very, very anti-fruit and salad. Oh, I'm not. This salad is right up my alley. I love this salad. Dude, let me have my own taste in food. Strawberry, mandarin, oranges. I am anti-mandarin orange. I am meh on strawberry, but my new shit, I love throwing a little watermelon in there.

Are you trying to get chub salad on us right now? I'm not trying to go full chub, but dude, the watermelon in the salad is a game changer. This salad sounds great to me. I don't like the weird vegetables that people throw in. I don't want onions in there. I want mushrooms in there, that stupid shit that people get. This is perfect to me. I don't like the weird vegetables that people throw in. I don't want onions in there. I want mushrooms in there. That stupid shit that people get. This is perfect for me.

No. And there's pork belly, right? That's the only thing. If I got this salad at this dinner, I would eat the pork belly off of it. Maybe have a couple strawberries without anything else. I picture that. That was going straight to the belly. I picture that like a crumble.

Like a bacon. Like really crispy bacon crumbles. I can tell you what it is. I looked it up. I just ain't like really crispy bacon it's crumbles i can tell you what it is i looked it up i just don't know how to say it is it said yeah you're you're correct okay did you say lardon it's lardan or lardon lardon it's a piece of bacon used to lard meat per dictionary okay so that's good too dude you're getting you're getting help you're getting good fat i love this i love this salad is keto. This is the perfect salad. I love it. Dude, the perfect salad.

For me. The perfect salad, Dylan. Will, we have different tastes in food. Do you not get that? The perfect salad. The sooner you understand that not everyone shares your taste in food, the better you'll be. I'm not saying it's not perfect. I'm not saying it's not a...

I love this salad. Get off my shit. Good salad for some people. It's not perfect. I love it. This is funny coming from Dylan, who just two days ago was like, I've got to tell you about this perfect salad I had over the weekend. Yeah, and I was like, oh, what's your name?

Oh, come on. That's fucking too much. The entree, he had a selection of three. Do you think they sent out a thing beforehand, like a card that you had to select your meal? Yes. The first one, mayazaki beef with whipped potatoes asparagus and roasted peppers for those of you that don't know mayazaki

beef is essentially the i think i think what wikipedia told me it was the best wagyu that money can buy after his farity interview he had to put this on the menu japan had to um what what do you pay me my money what do you think this retails for in a steakhouse? I don't know. This is like the $120 steak, right? It says, Miyazaki beef is 100% purebred Japanese Wagyu from the Miyachiko Co-op.

Oh, yeah, that's the best one. The name of the breed of cow that is used by Miyachiko is Kuroge Washu, also known as japanese black nice that sounds tight it does sound tight minus the asparagus um in this dish what i like asparagus my dude no i don't like how it makes my pee smell but i love asparagus i don't do asparagus, bro. Really? This dish fucks. It sounds great. It does. It does.

But I might not be ordering it. Just letting you know. Wow, what a tease. Okay, so he's going to have previous champions there. We'll assume of all the living, maybe the last 20 years. So I just want to put this out there. Who's going to be in attendance? So we got Brooks, obviously.

JT, who obviously wrist injury is not playing. I don't know if he's going to be attending the Champions Dinner. Probably not. Probably not big on his priority. Jimmy Walker. Bernie's own. San Antonio's own. He won a PGA?

He did. That was his one major. Forgot about that. Jason Day. Rory. Of course. Duff. Duff's getting all three

just solid crew all three entrees just solid crew my dude Martin Kamer Martin Kamer sorry

German dude Eldrick he came out he had a run yeah he was really good yeah yeah

Tiger's gonna be there why did okay so I know obviously Martin Kamer but when you see his name and you read it, it looks... I mean, it's spelled very interestingly. K-A-Y.

I don't like that. He's a germ. So do you want to know how much this costs? Yeah. Can I guess first? Yeah. You mean like steakhouse retail setting? No, no.

This is if you bought the meat from like a subscription thing online. I'm going to guess... For for a 12 ounce ribeye okay i'm just gonna guess per per pound i'm gonna say it's i i i don't know the price per i mean like this is just if you buy a 12 ounce ribeye of this like okay that's 65 says this is 130 right here i said 120 earlier you said that from the steakhouse retails. No, I didn't. If you're at a steakhouse, that's going to be $2,000,000. Oh, yeah. It's $3,000,000. $2,000,000? It's $3,000,000.

$2,000,000 seems like a lot. Yeah, it's not $2,000,000. No one's going to buy that, David. Yeah, it's $300,000 plus in a restaurant. Does it say how they're serving it? No. Just with whipped potatoes, asparagus, and roasted peppers. I prefer the nae-nae potatoes.

Come on. That was good. I enjoyed that. Or you can get the roasted Long Island duck with a blueberry demi-glaze. I might fuck with this one. I might. I love duck.

You know your boy fucks with duck. Like, probably harder than, like, most people fuck with duck. That being said, I don't know about a blueberry demiglaze. I bet you it fucks. I don't know. That's the thing. Like, I've never had one, and I don't know if I want blueberries on my duck. I bet you do.

This is going to be an interesting statement. You got to trust the chef here, man. He knows what he's doing. I prefer my duck Peking. I bet you do. This is going to be an interesting statement. You got to trust the chef here, man. I prefer my duck Peking. I like Peking. I've never had that. Oh, it's the shit. Yeah.

You don't know shit, David. Have you ever had Peking duck? Of course I have. I bet you haven't. Oh, okay. I'm not talking about some bootleg shit.

I got a hell of people asking how to cook duck in my mentions. Not some bootleg shit you got at the ranch on a canned hunt, you piece of shit. Dude, Dave's coming for next today. Its dude come on duck hunts yeah you do i've seen you a little pond i do love to duck hunt though duck hunting is fun from what i hear never done

it but it looks fun i just want it for the fits they have great eyesight you got to get up very early right and they have great eyesight so you got to stay hidden in that blind what are the ones that fly kind of up and down in that pattern and they come in and it's it's a difficult shot i don't know up and down my old boss louisiana guy you know i'm talking about will he used to always talk about that sounded tight i was always nod we say that in the boardroom you were quail hunting yeah quail hunting's the fun it's fun man. They're scary. They pop up on you. Yeah. You got to do it with dogs.

I really want to like quail in restaurants, and I just don't. It's overrated. Quail's not great. So bony. So much shit going on. Breakfast quail. That's the best way to get it. Dude, no one's doing breakfast quail.

What does that mean? You wake up and just make it a whale. Like quail for breakfast? Like in a little patty. Like a sausage patty. Oh, okay. Damn. I've never had that. Dude, having breakfast quail is a flex. in a little patty. Like a sausage patty. Oh, okay. Damn. I've never had that.

Dude, having breakfast quail is a flex. You ever had pheasant? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I haven't. That's why I asked. Are you saying that you're going to choose the duck over the Miyazaki beef? I'm saying I haven't decided.

I'm saying it's an option. Right now, I think I'm... No one's getting the filet. I'm going beef. No one's getting the filet i'm going beef no one's getting the filet well dude okay so the final one is the final one is a branzino filet with grape tomato something parmesan risotto sauteed baby vegetables and truffle oil it sounds great i've never seen branzino on a menu that's not the whole branzino what's branzino it's a fish oh so like but most of the time you see it it's like the whole branzino like so they give you the whole fish eye and everything like eye mouth everything i've never seen just a filet

like if you get this you're you're a cuck he's gonna get the filet you think that's a cut the cuckiest order yeah so he's got he's got surf turf and he's got the sky here that's interesting what if okay honestly though how do they the thing that worries me about the Japanese beef is kind of what we heard about how they, the conditions of the cow. Yeah. Like this is,

you know what I mean? Like how they like keep them in certain. How it's fucked up? Yeah. I have a conflict with that. They get massaged. I don't have,

I don't have a conflict. They massage the cows. Really? Yeah. Is it like the kind of massage you get in Jupiter? They're basically in a spa the whole time. Oh, okay. By eating the cow and preparing it well, you're honoring that cow's life.

Imagine if your sole purpose on this earth was just to be eaten. Like, that sucks. It sucks. Watch the chef's table about the butcher in Italy. Dave would love it. You'll love it, too. You're an Italy boy. It's very interesting.

Is that the Barzino? Is that Don Barzino? Dude, guys, Branzino is fish. Oh, Branzino. But, dude, we canceled truffles like three weeks ago i didn't cancel them i just i just had a bad experience with them where they were it was used a little bit too heavily on mac and cheese at a wedding and it just it's like when you have too much vodka in ninth grade and you throw up everywhere your parents catch you in

your front yard face down you you just don't drink vodka for a long time so that's kind of where i'm at with truffles although the duck sounds so good and i would enjoy the shit out of it i can't pass up the beef so no you can't i'm gonna i'm gonna get the beef it's an expensive steak you'd be passing up for a piece of duck with with blueberry on it like we're we don't know what a blue blueberry demi-glaze is to taste like on a duck. Someone does. Are you guys familiar with this? Certain bear you hunt, they eat blueberry.

And when you eat the meat, you can taste the hint of blueberry. No, David. Blueberries are diuretic. That's very true. Listen to Rogan one time. Diuretic, what does that mean? It moves your... Yeah, you can eat stupid poops off if you eat a bunch of blueberries.

Is that true? Oh. I eat a bunch of blueberries. Is that true? Oh. I eat a lot of blueberries. It's actually good for stem cell activation. Really? Look it up. Wow. Stem cell activation.

Dude, so one day you were just sitting there and you're like, man, my stem cells just aren't activating. Yeah, they're not activating. There might have been a Rogan involved in this. Get me some blueberries. There might have been a Rogan involved in this. Dude, another issue with duck served at a restaurant is that you never get enough.

They shell you. You get like three little pieces that look like pork tenderloin pieces. They're also not putting down a 14-ounce Miyazaki slab of beef in front of you. I bet it's small. I think you're getting more bang for your buck when you're getting the beef. Is any of this shit table side? No. So they're not cutting up the duck table side?

Ooh, I thought of, you know how somebody asked about the bottle service of other things? Oh, yeah. The bottle service of northern Michigan is planked whitefish. Wow, that is... They bring it on this giant plank on a cast iron pan. You've got whipped potatoes around it. I realized... That sounds tight.

I was like, dude, this is 100% the bottle service of northern Michigan. Can we get some next summer? Big enough. Yeah, but I'm going to have my potatoes around it. It's, I realize. It sounds tight. I was like, dude, this is 100% the bottle service. How big is the fish? Can we get some next summer? Big enough. Yeah, but I'm going to have my dad do it. If we're all squatted up together, it's better we have my dad make it. I've never met your parents. You know that, right?

Yeah, it's fucked up. You skipped. Dave met him. I didn't skip. I had prior engagements, man. Cool. Oh, yeah. I remember that.

What was her name? Stop with those. you were down and you were like i'm going to nakadoches we're like why and then we realized oh steven of austin home of the lumberjacks this is the no the dessert for his meal carrot cake with cinnamon gelato it's not great honestly this is the most beta thing about it. Carrot cake is... Carrot cake's a mid-tiered cake. Cinnamon gelato?

Like, gelato is great. Don't poo-poo the gelato. You can poo-poo the carrot cake all you want. Don't poo-poo the gelato. I love gelato, but cinnamon flavored? Maybe it's because the gelato is so good that they're pairing it with the carrot cake so it's not overwhelming. Will, you've never even had... Because carrot cake stinks. You've never even had gelato in Italy. That they're pairing it with the carrot cake So it's not overwhelming

This carrot cake stinks You've never even had gelato in Italy What are you talking about? You know that's sensitive to me Will went to that place that's on South Lamar Or South Congress And thinks he's Italian Certified the best gelato I've ever had

From Central Market right down the street It's really good, I can't lie Big time Tommy would hate you You've never even been to the old country. It's Big Time Tommy. I told you, if you followed the AMA on Reddit, my number one power ranking of honeymoon places is

Italy. I'm trying to get some gelatos off. Dude, what am I doing my AMA? Should I push it to next week or do it tomorrow? You're doing it next week. Okay, I'm just going to show you Big Time Tommy. Oh, I can see myself definitely following him. he's he's really he's a good dude he's motivation car fellows i don't know what that is but i love a good car fellas 100 italian good for him getting all 100

guys we have big news i'd like to see his 23 all right give a final rating scale of 1 to 10 for brooks's dinner 8.5 uh i'll say 8.2 just because the the dessert came in a little weak i think he should have gone like tiramisu cheesecake key lime pie kind of my two fuck that bananas foster table side there you go okay now you're talking keep going where's beth page new york New York. Big time Tommy. Oh, that's why I went Long Island. Big time Tommy will be there. I'm giving it a 7.5. Why? Nothing regional?

Because I don't like the salad. And... No, no, no. I don't care about regional. If it had been like Maryland or something... Where is he from? Like Bethesda? Is he from Florida?

He's got to be from Florida. He seems like a Florida guy. Yeah. I think he's northern Florida. Okay. I'm going to look that up. The bookends of this meal leave a little bit to be desired. But the guts. The guts are good, so I'm going to give it a good rating of a 7.5.

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Yikes. You end up spending like 37 dollars on a cup of coffee thanks to bank fees introducing the dave app put an ending sorry putting an end to overdraft fees for good how does it do they name this after you no no but actually it's it's making me feel like they're adding me a little bit why because you're just overdrafting all the time mark cuban in his 20s they're like they were adding me a little bit. Why? Because you're just overdrafting all the time? Yeah, I'm just like Mark Cuban in his 20s. They were sitting in a conference room and they were like, alright, what's the name of a dude who definitely overdrafts a lot? I got that look about me.

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Yeah. It's a cool idea. Yeah. God, I don't even know how many times I've overdrafted. I keep that private. Yeah, you don't discuss your finances publicly. I don't discuss my financial failings publicly. The app itself is $1 per month.

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How long have you been saving that one? Not that long, actually. Okay, that's good. It's been a fun one so far. Yo, Lowkey. What? If you just want to click this link, just go to the description of this episode.

And I will say, every single episode, we put every sponsor in it. I'm not affiliated with the sponsor by the way just to be clear yeah besides using it besides licensing my name yeah uh we talked about this earlier we talked about the beginning of the show we put it on twitter last night we should probably put it on instagram uh the pretty girl filter it's pretty much the only reason you should have snapchat at this point in your life oh no that's there's more reasons we all did it who was the first one to do it was it dave i think it wasn't me i did it the other day and actually posted it to my snap story the first snap story i posted in i don't know two

years so probably me my my uh scummy group text a high school friend group text was doing it and they were doing we were doing like seductive faces with it and it got a little out of control oh gross and i was like well this can never get out and then will lastuctive faces with it, and it got a little out of control. Oh, gross. And I was like, well, this can never get out. And then Will last night hit us with it. Will, I feel bad. I came out strong. Yours is just, it looks like an anomaly. You could have taken better ones.

Yeah, I just took one. I also smiled with teeth in it, which I think makes it harder to do. Yours creeps me out. Well, it's because- It really struggled to hide the beard. Dude, I have got... This is a burly... This beard takes up half my face. This filter is impressive

how they do all that. They recognize you had a beard and try to get rid of it. It says something about your beard compared to Dylan's, no offense. No, none taken. Dylan, you can't even tell. Yeah, none taken. Will, is there like... The filter was just never seen this kind of data. Can you pull up Snapchat right now so I can just see what I look like in it?

Like, just right now. I just want to see if I look good. You just want to look at that thing between your eyes. Yeah, seriously. Dylan, I mean, I think we can say without a doubt you look the best, right? I mean, my chick's pretty hot. How many times did you take that? Be honest.

That was just a one take. I'm not kidding. Bullshit. I swear. Look, I was in my cars during the day. my god stop stop making that face the light tick tock the lighting was on point i hit the angle right it's a good pic i just did mine on my couch i'm gonna redo mine because i think i can i can go from like a six and a half to like a seven and a half real quick not to be not i want to apologize for looking scorching hot in this not to be be grotesque, I'm way more fuckable in this new photo. Let me see. Let me see.

I'll be the judge of that. That's so weird looking, dude. Oh my god. You're like an office six and a half. I'm a project manager at like a really shitty company that's definitely going to fail soon. That's weirdly specific. That's not bad. That's way better than the other one.

It struggles with the beard. I just did it again. It looked the exact same. You don't look the exact... No, you look way hotter in your first one. Dude, you look like... Looked the exact same. Ashley I from The Chick who's Always Crying on Bachelor in Paradise.

Really? Yeah. She's so annoying. What am I supposed to do with this? You just handed me this just post to your story dude get a story off uh we got some good responses to this on twitter someone said dorn took his selfie while doing 86 on the highway after composing a text message it's not wrong not wrong at all you take a lot of selfies in the car why what are you talking about

i don't take any selfies in the car you are the most likely to do selfies in the car of any of us. The car is your photo booth. I don't do selfies in the car. Man, I just feel like this is what my mom looked like when she was in her 20s, and it weirds me out. Yeah, you're right, actually, on that. How do you feel about Dave's middle part, Dylan? I hate Dave's middle part. But he's the sweetest bitch you'll ever know.

Mr. Pessimisty. Dave's doing duck lips over here for his picture Mr. Pessimisty on Twitter said He would F Dave, marry Dorn, and kill me Dude, if you're F'ing Dave You might get like 5 to 10 Dude, I was Dave looks like an 8th grader

Dude, this is I don't like this I don't like this What about that guy who called Dave Dude, Dave is a slutty 8th grader. Dave, what the fuck? You're jailbait. Some guys said Dave's

a baddie Putin, which I love. I'm like the 8th grader who developed really early and got the attention of the juniors. Weirdly specific. I don't like this. Now, this makes me uncomfortable. It's so fucking weird. I can't even take a picture

baddie Putin baddie Putin this right here my swag dude Dave looks like

Dave looks like a girl who would grind to like a Paul Walsallall at the drop of a hat. Yeah, there's some of that. This Dave wore low-rise jeans to the dance with a spaghetti strap tank top. What are you doing? Dylan's over here having the time of his damn life. I got a video

of Dave saying that as the girl oh did it just take it as a still I hope so I held it down I certainly did not the last thing you do

is hold it down yeah dude that's trash you can't tell yeah what do you come on oh shut up Will what

Dylan we're trying to do a freaking podcast you're gonna like this Dave I promise you. Do I look hot? Yeah. Yeah.

I look like I listen to a lot of Avril Lavigne. No, I don't want her to do it. Sally did it. She looks like the most white trash person of all time. I thought she looked like Scott Stapp from Creed. She did, but like his brother who burned out. Well, he... Did he burn out? Is he sober now?

Yeah, he had a real rough go. Dave, this one's funny because you have your hat on, and so the long hair is just sticking out of the bottom of your hat. They did a really good job with this. Well, they had to. After Kylie Jenner canceled them, all they had to do was... This is the best thing that Snapchat's done in two years. No, it's hilarious.

It got me to re-download the app. I saw a tweet last night that made me crack up. I think it's something like, hey, leave that filter on, bro. I'm coming over. I saw that. Hey, who said I look like...

Somebody said I look like somebody, and I don't even know who they're talking about. Oh, Gypsy Rose. Who's Gypsy Rose? Is she a porn star? That's got porn stars. It was a documentary at first, and I don't even know who they're talking about. Oh, Gypsy Rose. Who's Gypsy Rose? Is she a porn star? That's got porn stars. It was a documentary at first, and then they made a Netflix movie about it or something.

It was this girl whose mom is crazy, and basically her whole life convinced her her daughter, named Gypsy Rose, had all these disabilities and stuff. Really, really weird story. I forgot what it's called. But you look like Gypsy Rose. I don't know. I'm not going to like that. Really, really weird story. I forgot what it's called. That's a... But you look like Gypsy Rose. I don't know. Is this...

I'm not going to like that. No, no. No, it's not a compliment. Not a compliment by any means. Oh, well, that was me. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I'm glad some people use Twitter for good. But Josh... Shouts to Emily for that one. What's annoying is that, like, clearly I'm the least attractive one out of that, like, bunch of, like, those three photos. And, like, I'm low-key annoyed at the people that are talking shit. You came back strong with the one you just did though.

Here's one you probably shouldn't take too personally. You know? I know. But it's just like what's your... No. Yeah.

I hear you. It's tough being a girl. It's fun. It's tough being ridiculed by guys. Yeah dude. Like don't tell... Like keep your fucking laws off my body dude.

Like the guy that rated me number three out of... Like shut up dude. Yeah that's so rude. No one asked for that. Like, dude, I'm pretty. What about my personality? Yeah, you're probably like, what the hell?

No, you're like the you're like the cool girl who like hangs out. Shut up. Don't try to reconcile this. Of course, someone called us beautiful babies, which is you love to see that. You love. Yeah. If we walk into a bar like our guys coming up to our table and buying us drinks? Or are we just going to sit there and have to pay for our own Michelob Ultras?

I don't know. Man, is that like... No one's buying you a drink, Will. Shut up. I'm the grenade, aren't I? All right, let's just say three girls. Oh, no. You're the grenade of the group.

Damn, am I the easy bet? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Dylan's the reason that they come over, and then the wingman gets you. But no one's hitting this. They know that. I'm not giving it up. Shut up.

Dude, you're not even that cute in it. Oh, fuck you. You're cute, but you're not like... Don't call me cute, dude. Come on. Dude, you're cute. I don't know if I'm swiping right on you, though. Yeah, you are.

I don't know. I'm catching that swipe. Dude, did they put a hint of gray in your hair? I don't think so. At the bottom, maybe, yeah. Dude, they might have. That's crazy. Where can people see this photo?

Circling back pod on Twitter. We're going to put it. We got to put this on. On the gram? On the gram. We'd be remiss not to. I don't like the response. Oh, I got a response real quick.

Oh, Maui Duda says, you look like her Aunt Linda. Hell yeah. Shout out to Aunt Linda. That's what's up. That was fun. This has been fun. You know what time it is though? Time for this weekend of fun. Oh oh i thought we're doing more twitter

moments no no that that that kind of failed if we're being honest as always sponsored by eisenhower's austin texas best bar on rainy street bar none i see what you did there yeah like they don't even like if if john tafferer showed up to Eisenhower's on Rainy Street, he'd be like, oh, my job here is done. Who booked this place? He'd just be like, I'll have a beer, thank you. How does he sound? Live music on Thursday, live music on Sunday.

It is a scene on Sundays, people. It's the Sunday Funday spot. Go to Eisenhower's, check it out. Do not order Al Dave's. Just get a regular vodka soda. Tequila soda. Oh, yeah. They may not understand what you're talking about.

And that's, you know, that makes sense. I get it. I get it. Dylan, start us off. I will kick this off. So we are going to Houston on Friday. We have a little thing for work. A little presentation to give.

That'll be around lunchtime I think one two we'll pull back the curtain we're actually potentially going to get acquired by the Rockets that's not true

we're actually there to interview Scott Van Pelt is he in Houston why he just wanted a weekend of you know good food

golf stuff like that. So we're going to interview him. Is that true? A job interview, yeah. I wouldn't go to Houston for, no offense, but a little hot there. I could think of a better golf destination. Can I get back to my actual weekend and fun?

Thank you. Dude, we almost had SVP. So, yeah, we have that. And then it's convenient for me because I have to be in Houston that night anyway. One of my good buddies, shouts to Mikey, Michael, michael getting married i have the rehearsal dinner friday night okay the wedding saturday night cool man so excited that's usually how it goes living that hotel life for two days you know i love that am i staying with you you're welcome to i told you that let's just hash this out on the air two men and a king if we don't that, can I get a room on the company? Since it is technically a work thing.

It'll be me and Barrett. I mean, that's probably something that could happen. Tell us what's less than a dude. Watch your boy at the W. I think you make him sleep in your room. Get a cot. Yeah, sleep in my room. I'm not getting a cot.

You really want me to sleep in there? What if you bring a beautiful baby back? I'm not bringing a beautiful baby back. He's going to wake me up and be like, hey, do the Snapchat filter. Bring a Dave's Fine Ass back. Shihri's baby back. You're going to kick me the curb.

I'm not kicking you. Just like all the rest of them. I offered it to you. I offered you. We can switch to two queens, too. How do you not get two queens? Like, that's the question. Because when I booked the room,

it was just me, dickhead. Why do I need two queens? Two queens for two kings. Oh, two queens, too. How do you not get two queens? Like, that's the question. Because when I booked the room, it was just me, dickhead. Why do I need two queens, dude? Two queens for two kings. Oh, my God, dude. I can switch it to two queens, Dave. I don't care. Dude, I've shared a bed with you before. I don't care.

I don't care, either. Kings are huge. I like to cuddle with you, anyway. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. Snapchat me. No, you don't cuddle with Snapchat me. You kick me out.

Can I just hold the Snapchat up to your face and then cuddle you and just pretend that you're female Dave? But if you did that and you were spooning him, then your face would show up as female. Oh my God. That might get kind of hot in there. Damn, two queens. Two queens and a king. I don't like where this is going. This has got uncomfortable.

Let's go on to Dave now. Dave, what do you do more Twitter moments? Snapchat has just thrown gender out the window. It's beautiful. Good. It's a social construct. Yeah, see that glass ceiling? It's a snap construct.

Toast. What are you doing this weekend, Dave? Pretty much what Dylan is, minus the wedding. Are you going to the wedding? I'm I. You didn't plus one me, so. Oh, sorry. What if, okay, you got a plus one to bring me but it's only Snapchat me

so I have to walk around no your friends are like your friends are all talking behind your back like dude he brought her to this wedding sweetest bitch you'll ever meet though

what's my what's my Snapchat girl name I think it's definitely Amber for some reason my first thought was Tina okay Tina Tina you don't meet many tinas anymore um yeah so i got the gonna be in houston i think me and you know we'll be out and about friday

night me and at least one of the crew but um yeah i got no plans after that i'll be coming back early saturday hopefully the weather's nice. It's been kind of shit the last 10 days. We're in a wet pattern here. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, Dylan knows what you're talking about. So, maybe we can get outdoors, do something. I don't know. Get Randy to the park.

Probably do a dinner Saturday night. That's pretty much it. I'm chilling. Chilling? Oh, yeah. Well, your boy, obviously that's pretty much it I'm chillin chillin oh yeah well your boy obviously going to Houston I'm not gonna hang out

with you guys on Friday night though unfortunately oh no I've got a I've got a birthday party for a friend in Houston she actually listens

to our Bachelorette episodes shots to her just the Bachelorette ones yeah probably if I had to guess I get it um going to that birthday party.

Getting up early. Heading back to Austin. Honestly, I really want to relax. I'm out of town the next two weekends after that. So I kind of want to soak up my home time. I don't know. I'm not trying to do anything too aggressive. There's no soccer on.

Where's his birthday party at? Hard to say. No clue, actually. I was kind of just planning on going to where I'm staying trying to do anything too aggressive. There's no soccer on. Where's his birthday party at? Hard to say. No clue, actually. I was kind of just planning on going to where I'm staying for the night and having them drive me there. I have to say, when I found out y'all were both out for Friday night, I was a little concerned. Until I found out that we had somebody else going with us. Because I was like, I didn't, I thought, oh, it was only going to be Dylan. And then when you said you were out Friday night, I was like, okay, well, I guess I'm going to drive back alone.

Friday? I don't know. It was weird. Well, it would be weird if you had to drive back alone on Saturday. I'd rather do that than drive back alone on Friday. It is for the boys, yeah. It's for the boys. So.

Yeah, killing my buddies and getting married on a Saturday. It's just weird. So he's married a girl? Yeah. What the fuck, dude? Yeah, I don't know. He's going against guy code. That's stupid.

Very stupid. Is it a girl or is it a guy with a Snapchat filter? I don't know, actually. I'll find out when I get there. Hey, speaking of weddings, you know what the biggest kick in the dick is? What's here, man? Planning a fucking wedding. No, it's not.

Why didn't anyone tell me about this? It's easy if you spread it out. Why did i think you're about to launch into a sponsor i thought that no and i mean dude if a wedding player wants to sponsor this podcast and do my shit for free feel free to do it i think everybody knows it's not fun dude it's worse than i thought it would be yeah well it's definitely tough for you because you're planning an out-of-state wedding. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. God.

It's wedding planners, man. Mm-hmm. They're not cheap. Oh, yeah. Should we get out of here? Got anything else? No. Who's your PGA champion?

When we come in here Monday. Kira Datch, Afi, Barnrot. The Barnrot. Dylan? I'm just going to go with who I want to win, which is Eldrick. I don't know if he's going to... He's probably not going to win. Oh, Cat?

Yeah, Tiger Woods. It'd be really fun to see him win again. Man, I don't know how I feel about this guy. I need to evaluate some of the interviews he's done. But I think we're looking at another Brooks Koepka victory. Are we? Yeah. Did his body issue ever come out?

He looked good at the Nelson. No, I don't think it has. Didn't ESPN the Mac? That's who does it, right? Didn't they fold? Aren't they done? I think we all have body issues. Yeah, definitely.

Especially Snapchat filter Will who just gets cyberbullied for his looks. Like, what the... Messed up. It's tough being a woman today, man. Dude, I think ESPN the Mag is canceled.

Like they're problematic and you're canceling them right now? No, no. I think they're actually going to stop producing that magazine. Well, I hope they get the...

I want to see the Brooks thing. Who's one... Okay, one athlete before we go that you want to see in the body issue before they cancel? Male or female

or snap... Okay. Hypothetical or twist on this. Barn Rat's a good one. It can be a male Snapchat filter body issue. I'll stick with the Barn Rat's a good one. It can be a male Snapchat filter body issue.

I'll stick with the Barn Rat. No Snap Filter? We'll go Snap Filter. Okay. See what happens. Kira Batch, Afi Barn Rat. Because he's just stupid thick, man. You dumb thick.

Mine's Jim Furyk. You dummy thick. Jim Furyk would be a good one. So we're only doing PGA players? No, no, no. I just... You can do whoever. Ooh. Dylan. Sorry. If you just... You can do whoever. Oh, Dylan. Sorry.

If you just heard like... Yeah, I cracked my neck. Is your neck broken? Maybe. I'm going to go with... Dude, I don't know. I'm going to go with Tiger Woods as like this pretty Snapchat filter girl. Did you see his?

He didn't do it. PGA memes or some account, meme account, golf, did all the, like a bunch of guys and Could he like catch it? Low key Jordan and JT.

Hot? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Woo! Oh man man what an episode let's get out of here I'm going to pull it up for y'all once we get out of here let's get out of here

later love you guys Outro Music