Circling Back - Randy's One-Year at Chili's & Biden's Dog Biting People

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

Yeah, we mobbed at Chili’s last night for Randy’s one-year anniversary. After breaking that down, we discuss the Italian mob boss who got caught because he started a YouTube cooking channel, and whether or not Biden’s dog is a problem in the White House. Oh, and yeah, This Weekend in Fun too. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:40) Randy’s One-Year Anniversary Dinner (39:56) YouTubing Italian Mob Boss Gets Caught (53:32) Biden’s Dog Is A Problem (1:04:00) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com/circlingback (25% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com (click microphone and use CIRCLINGBACK for free month trial and free scale) Public: www.public.com/steam (free slice of stock!) Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast presented by Busy Hard Seltzer. The only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my right, David Ruff. As it's the only way I can enjoy hard seltzer with acerola. Hey, as this podcast week comes to

a close, I just want to thank everybody who made it possible. Will. Thank you. Randy. Brett. It's not in here. Brett's out there. But Brett, myself and Dylan was here as well. Come on, man. It's not in here. Brett's out there. But Brett, myself, and Dylan was here as well. Come on, man. But, yeah, I mean, I think it was a pretty strong podcast week based on the metrics I'm looking at.

Now, the metrics are good. I like good metrics. Yeah. Next level stuff. Remember Metrex, the supplement brand? It felt like a late 90s bodybuilder. You're trying to get some gains. I always thought it was MetRx, but your way sounds better, I think.

Yeah, it's easier to say. Sure, yeah. So wait, this entire time you've been living, you've just been saying MetRx? Dude, what? To be honest, how much time have you wasted? I don't go around talking about that brand too much, so it's not like I messed it up. It's just in my head, that's how it sounded. What's the protein powder you've been using lately?

You're thinking of my pre-workout, I think. Yeah, what's your pre-workout you've been using lately? The brand is Total War, and the flavor is zombie blood. How's that going for you? It hits. It works. Actually, I ran out of zombie blood. I'm back to sour gummy bear is the current flavor I'm using.

I'm still confused as to how zombies have blood. I feel like it's like a... Well, they use real zombie blood. It's their old blood. They use real zombie blood for this. They don't regenerate new blood. For this pre-workout. Have you put any of the zombie blood in your sneakers or anything like that?

Yeah, I tried it. We have a new sneaker coming out with Nike. Circling blood? Mm with Nike. Circling blood. Mm-hmm. Circling. Hey, what other bodily fluids from zombies can you get for that pre-workout? They have zombie urine flavor as well. That's gross.

Keep going. Zombie spit? They call it saliva, but, yeah, obviously the same thing. Click, click. And also zombie earwax flavor. It's not very good. It's not really a fluid, but maybe. yeah, obviously the same thing. Click, click. And also zombie earwax flavor. It's not very good. It's not really a fluid, but maybe. It's in the same category.

You know a lot about earwax. You're the ear guy. It's more gelatinous, I guess. Anything else? Can't think of anything else, Dave. What's on your mind, man? I'm in the market for a new pre-workout. I had a couple of little zombies last night at Chili's, though.

Really? They were hitting. Yeah? They were hitting. Yeah, they were hitting. We had to teach the bartender how to make them. He had never heard of a little zombie, but now he does. He had never heard of a lot of things. Also a martini. More on that later.

Yeah, I heard of a martini. More on that later. Oh, good stuff, man. God, we got the energy of a fucking horse that's about to die right now. Horny Dave wanted me to say zombie semen. That's what he was going for there. I wasn't going to do it. That sounds scary.

Are you thinking of a ship with just a bunch of zombies on it? What's the Lake Michigan ship? The SS... The Edmund Fitzgerald? The SS Edmund Fitzgerald. Kennedy. Just be careful what you say about the Edmund Fitzgerald. You don't want people coming after you.

Did we upset a family member or something? No. I don't remember that. No, we didn't do that. It's just the Edmund Fitzgerald is held near and dear to our hearts as Michiganders. Michigander? That's what you call it. I like that.

What would you think we were? I just never thought about it, really. Little Mishies? I don't think about Michigan too much. I like Little Mishies. No, I don't. You think about Michigan all the time, dog. Get out of here, dude. It's the mitten state. Well, Wisconsin

is more... No, no, no. No, no, no, no. That's what people say from up there. That's crazy. It is crazy. They call it the murder mitten. Michigan is very mitteny. It's the mitten. And mittens are tight. Mittens are great. Keep your fingers warm, man. Ooh, you can just feel all of it in there.

Do you like the ones with the little individual finger holes, or do you like the ones that are just like you can feel your fingers? I like the finger holes because if you're just doing finger on finger, it gets too warm in there, man. It gets a little too toasty, in my opinion. What is your problem? What are you talking about? I'm talking about mittens.

They didn't know shit about mittens, dude. Look at them. What an idiot. Are you a mitten novice, dude? Dude, you can admit it. It's a safe space. Dude, I only have those North Face ones that have, like, I can scroll my iPhone or my iPad with it on.

That's Fred, dude. Yeah, because, like, dude, if I'm like, I got to take a call and I can't swipe because mittens are, you know, made of thread. You can trade stonks. Like, I got to trade stonks with this thing. I got to hop on the app that we'll promote later. Yeah. Does your dad have a bunch of those just sitting around the house in Aspen?

Well, yeah, he actually worked for North Face. He was their CEO for a time. Wow, that's a pretty good game. Dude, why did he leave? Yeah, well, he was asked to step down, got a golden parachute, pretty sick. After my college, got my master's afterward's afterward then i went back to law school aren't you working for your dad now no man actually uh he's uh living in the dominican republic got a cooking show more on that later too yeah this is a lot of foreshadowing

anyway so that's frat dave yeah this is uh this is kind of tired voice frat dave had a late night didn't drink at chili's but uh my baby got me up and i had heartburn because i ate a bunch of bullshit for dinner i took a pep set at like 3 a.m finally hit it like five got a couple more hours wasn't your dad also like CFO of Chili's too? Yeah, he was a CFO. He's actually CEO and CFO. He had like a double role. Wow.

First guy in company history. Youngest CFO in company history also. Yeah. He was 35. Dude, that's sick. Congrats to your dad. Very sick. Yeah, I haven't talked to him in six years.

Really? Yeah, we just don't talk. I don't it's bought a bunch of nfts with his money i got a little of his card do you guys do top shot wow what is going on i got a zion i got a zion uh slam. It's pretty sick. It's supposed to be worth like 150K. Might sell it by a boat. Were you going to try to get that Wu-Tang album from Skreli or whatever? Oh, the Skrels? Yeah. Skrel dog?

Dude, I texted him. He was like boning that journalist. He's like, oh, dude, I got to lay low. I don't know what's going to happen. I got to hold on to this. All right, man. I don't know how to move on. Yeah, I don't either.

I have issues in relationships. You should text the journalist. Whatever happened to that? I don't know. I think people realized how simpy she was, and they were like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. It was a story for like 24 hours, and then everybody was like, man, it's kind of weird. Yeah, it's like, dude, he doesn't like you.

I hope he sees this. Dude, he straight up curved her. She went stage five on him. Mm-hmm. I tried to tell him, man. Martin Shkreli. I was like, dude, this chick, no, man, this chick, you do not want to mess with her, man. Is he buying NFTs from prison?

Can he? I don't know. I guess if you have internet access, which they have. Working credit card. I can see them taking his internet access away. He's just doing too many trades? I wouldn't trust him. Dude, I know what you're doing.

You're scheming something up over there. Yeah. Skrells? What did they call him? The pharma bro? Yeah. He was our guy. What an asshole, that guy.

That guy stinks. There's people who still defend him. They're real hardcore capitalists. Free market people. Yeah. Where do you stand on that, Dylan? Yeah, where do you stand, dude? You know, uh...

They call you the Laze Bear. Do they? He should just pull the Ultimate Flex and say that the Wu-Tang album was trash. All skips. Dude, it's not even that good. Yeah, dude, I skipped every song. Just go listen to Liquid Swords. So he's the only one that could listen to it?

He let the journalist girl listen to it. That was pretty cool of him. Really? They did the scene in the office when Jim and Pam walk out together, and he's got his iPod, and they have the headphones. And she's like, oh, you got new music. And he gives her a headphone, and they just sit there and listen to it together. What's an office reference?

What an asshole that guy is. That's an office reference. Who, Jim or Skrulls? No, Jim Halpert's a nice guy., Jim or Skrulls? No, Jim Halpert's a nice guy. Is he? Skrulls, though. Kind of a tool. He kind of was like an asshole in the office.

I wouldn't want to work alongside Jim, I don't think. Dude, yeah. He didn't have any friends. They had to invite their entire office to the wedding to fill seats. Big red flag. Big red flag. He has like three friends. He invited a bunch of people that they hate.

His archenemy got invited, Dwight. And he absolutely cucked Roy. He did cuck. He's not his archenemy, though. They're actually really close. Him and Dwight? Yeah. I just feel like all the antics around the office, I'd get pretty annoyed pretty quick there.

I'd be like, hey, can I actually get some work done and just get out of here? The company's not doing well, dude. Can you not put my shit in Jell-O? Yeah. Imagine trying deals use your stapler after it was put in jello that'd be so annoying i'd throw it away if jim put my fucking stapler in jello on like one of my first days on the job like i'm fighting him in the parking lot are you yeah he's pretty tall though dude roy would have whipped his ass he's got an all-time

noogie head though i would love to give him a noogie yeah roy would have whipped his ass. He's got an all-time noogie head, though. I would love to give him a noogie. Yeah, Roy would have worn that ass out. Dude, just taking him out back and just crumpled him. Like a folding chair. Yeah. Should we get to these programming notes so we can get into the meat of this episode and talk about Chili's last night, which is why we all sound dead? I'm over here just yawning. You should have gone to Arby's and gotten that big meat sandwich.

Dude, the Arby's next to my old place shut down. That was a sad day. That was an Austin landmark. Yeah, it's a lot easier to get in and out of that parking lot now that there's not a bunch of trucks just blocking the exit there. That parking lot was a beating. Dude, truck month is always at Arby's. I saw Dylan there.

Yeah? Oh, really? Where's this one going, Dave? I just saw you there. What was I doing? No, you didn't. You were there in your Cummins diesel. Come on, dude.

I think I've had Arby's once in my life, actually. I've had it twice. One of them was in Ponte Vedra. They didn't bring us fries. There was also no cheese on the sandwiches. Oh, my God. No, and they didn't bring us Arby's sauce. Yeah, that was the biggest. That was most devastating thing. The tour treated us well there.

That was not on the tour. No. They just brought us meat sandwiches. They literally brought us meat. How do you not give us Arby's sauce? That's the best part of Arby's is the sauce. It's so good. They do have the meats, though.

I mean, that was made clear, but you've got to hit me with some horsey, too. I'm going to go suey with Arby's and the horsey. Dude, it's not a bad move. It's not a bad move, Dave. No. Dude, it's honestly what makes it really good. I'm not disagreeing with you. It sounds like you might be, man.

I love it, dude. Why are you coming at me like this? I love it, dude. You know I've got heartburn. Get to the programming notes. Dude, first and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pot and Watch Media on the Grom. Also, go leave a review and five-star rating. We actually got some new reviews. Do you want to hear them? Yes. This is from Backers in STEM.

It says, let me be the first to say that Circling Back is the official podcast of women in STEM. Let's go! I always love listening to the boys talk fun and easy banter, as it's the only way I can do science. This is a redemption story about the women of STEM. Is this a man in STEM or a lady? It's a lady. It's a lady. It's a lady.

We also have our next one is from Steezy Griggs. She said that she's a 26-year-old woman in STEM, five stars, and just left a heart. Dude, Shasta's STEM. Who's the heart for? Probably all of them. It's hard to say. Probably Randy. We also have one from nlimbo94, and she said we have the PhD approval.

She's also a STEM person. I still don't know what that means. PhD in STEMology. Sorry, this is a guy. He says he's a 27-year-old male with a PhD in STEM working at NASA. I think this podcast is great. We also have Courtney, who's a STEM girl 2.0, that says, I'm a woman in STEM, 21 years old, and I go to an Ivy League.

Probably the only listener in this demographic. Okay, that's presumptuous. The STEM community is very... Which Ivy League? Dude, they're showing up. Very pompous. What, do you go to Dartmouth? Dartmouth?

Yeah, they can't even say it right. Dartmouth. Oh, I go to Dartmouth. Is Dartmouth even Ivy? It is, right? Yeah, dude, of course, dog. Do you want the last one? I got it in Yale.

Only if it's a STEM. This one's actually not from someone in STEM, but it is from the real Fred Durst, which I have to think is actually Fred Durst. It says, my wife and I will likely have a child within the next year. We're in Charleston on a friend's trip. I blacked out. Nice. She made a comment about the fact that we're, quote, actively trying to have kids now and i immediately yelled out ovulation no breeding and everyone at the table looked at me like i'm a psycho this is because of all of you

you're pretty good it's pretty impressive blacked out to to have the wearable no breeding sounds like there are will be breeding if there is ovulation that's how it works yeah that's how it works right where you could have done were breeding i get it though that's how it works. Right. You could have done were-breeding. I get it, though. That's good. Yeah. That would work, too. Ovulation. No condoms.

Dude, chill, dog. It's way too early for that. I'm trying to think procreation. It's not even lunchtime, dude. Randy, put the pen down. Put the pen down. Hey, can I issue an edict? Or can I ask for some help? Well, you're going to hate this, but on Too Much Dip, we haven't had a review in a month.

Can y'all go leave Too Much Dip? First of all, listen, subscribe. Can you leave us some reviews? I want to read some, and I want to look for next week. And there's just not any recent ones. I'm going to piggyback on this. Scaries has gotten not that many reviews lately, and I'm dangerously close to 2,000 ratings, and I just really want 2,000 ratings.

I don't think that's crazy to ask for. I's let me make, I'll make a promise. Let me drop a note to drop the note. Mail-in editorial dropping today. Oh, is it? Check it out. I'll believe it when I see it. Go to the website, check it out. It'll be there. Have you even started it? Yeah. How have you been typing? Like what's your method of typing? I typing the keys? I'm still hunting and packing. See, look, there it is right there. Has your typing gotten better or worse since you started doing this? Same. You're the worst to ever do it.

Typing is the hit. People say that. That's fair. That's a fair thing to say to me. I'm going to make a – well, I'm going to do, in this initiative, if you review every WASH Media pod, that's Brunch, Scaries, Club Cool, Circling Back, Mail In, Too Much Dip. Is that all of them? It's hard to say at this point.

There's just a million pods in the netty. The netty is getting big. If you review all of them and you email me, Dave at WASHmedia.com, and you prove it, timestamps and everything. Not David at WASHmedia.com. Dave. What are you going to do in me, Dave at WatchMedia.com, and you prove it. Time stamps and everything. Not David at WatchMedia.com. Dave. What are you going to do in return, Dave? I will respond to your email.

Oh, my gosh. Can they ask an advice question and then you give the advice? They get the gift of knowledge. You know what? I will respond. I will send you a personalized video for your eyes only and your friends. This is huge. Look, I don't do this for anybody.

And this offer is only limited to the first 10 people who do it. I like that. Because that would just be a ton of work. And I'm not that funny. I don't like talking into the camera. It makes me self-conscious. You stink, baby. You don't actually stink.

No, you can say it it's fine i'm yeah if you're gonna do that also go over to patreon check out uh the worst of on tuesdays lately worst of it washedmedia.com if you have a story or go to washedmedia.com and fill out the form i will say got some funny ones yesterday very excited love very excited uh and then voicemails friday we're recording them tomorrow 888-618-4422 again 888-618-4422. Again, 888-618-4422. Let's talk about our friends over at Liquid IV real quick. Did I have a liquid IV this morning because I felt dehydrated after last night at Chili's? The answer is yes.

Do I have liquid IV? I went with the orange flavor that has a little immune booster. I noticed you had a little pep in your step. Do I have liquid IV in my Yeti right this second? Yes, I do. Yeah. Is that because you drank heavily last night? Ask me what flavor. What flavor? Passion fruit, bitch, which you don't give enough credit to passion fruit. I do too. Me and Drake, big passion fruit guys. Hey, I was a little late this morning, but I wasn't the guy who was late. I was the guy who brought liquid IV to the office for everyone

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Please don't come by the office. If you're a guest of this show, I give you a packet of liquid iv that's big of you a single serving or like a packet packet single serving bay is a big liquid iv fan really yeah she brought some to cabo she just coincidentally just loves liquid iv it's good stuff man i was like wow you too i don't have vacation all the time i don't like having to urinate at airports so i drink liquid iv and i have less fluid in my system you know what makes me sad is when i'm at costco and i see I see the nice display of liquid IV and I'm like, I'd love to buy some of that, but I've got a ton at home.

Very convenient problem to have. Yeah. Good for you, man. You've been staying hydrated lately. I'm proud of you. Not everyone has the same perks that you do, dude. You literally do, though, so I don't know if you're talking. Yeah, that's true.

Can we talk about Randy's one-year anniversary dinner? I don't really think we need to. We got Randy's mic up, so if he wants to chime in at all. We did something that Brett's never done before, which is go to Chili's. Were you surprised to learn that Brett's never been to Chili's? He's kind of bougie, so no.

But he's bougie. Do they even have Chili's up there? You'd think when he was in Denver, working for the Broncos. Dude, he screams Chili's. Yeah, like the coaches when he was in Denver working for the Broncos. Dude, screams Chili's. Yeah, like the coaches or the scouts are like, hey, Merriman, let's go to Chili's and drink heavily. He never hit a Chili's 2 at the airport? That's a good point.

You know? Well, you know Brett's never flown. Oh, that's right. He's scared. He walks everywhere. He's like John Madden. He's got a bus. Really?

He took a bus everywhere, yeah. Yeah, the Madden bus. That's why? Everybody knows that, dude. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. The bus flew. Really? Took a bus everywhere, yeah. Yeah, the Madden bus. That's why? Everybody knows that, dude. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Everybody knows that. Well, now everyone does because I know now, and I didn't know that before.

That's actually where Girls Gone Wild came from, the Madden bus. That's where it originated. I don't think that's accurate. Girls Gone Wild. Girls Gone Wild. Second office reference. Girls Gone Wild. Randy.

How was your dinner, Randy? Randy, yeah. How did you settle on Chili's? I like Chili's. I like turtles. Oh, wow. I mean, I think Texas Roadhouse is a little too north for you guys. Made you guys come up a little bit, so I decided to go Chili's.

We could have done TRH, dude. I could not. I have a peanut allergy. Oh, okay. Best barbecue in Texas. Really? You're going to die on that hill he's gonna die dude i did something last night at the dinner i was the first person to ever order a dirty martini at uh chili's at that location dude it was crazy because it didn't even come with a lime dude so i don't want to totally expose our waitress but to be honest she wasn't that great of a waitress. No, no, no. No, she wasn't even that.

She was awful. She was the worst to ever do it. I'm not kidding, and I hope that our good friends at Chili's aren't listening, but I felt bad for Randy because it was his one year and for Brett because it was his first time. I was like, the service is normally not this bad, and it was not crowded. There was like four tables in there. There was a scenario where I could drink like five beers at that dinner and they just didn't give us the opportunity to do so probably did you a favor even if that place was just jam-packed full of people if she had

like 10 tables she was working i still would have said her service was slow and and below slow but understandable right it was empty this was considering considering there were like three or four total tables in the whole place they were occupied and there was more than one waiter working, it took me 30 minutes to get a beer when we sat down. I have a little thing I'd like to talk about that Chili's is doing. A lot of restaurants in the age of COVID-19, there's an ongoing global pandemic, right? Except for here in Texas. Well, we're open for business baby so they they've

gotten rid of menus so that you get your phone and you you open your camera and you scan the little thing and it brings up a menu you look at on your phone most of the restaurants in austin are still doing it and you know what i don't mind it but chili's gives you a like a half menu that has like their specials. That we had to ask for because they didn't tell us what was going on. There was no barcode to scan. There was no barcode. We were like, so what's the food situation?

They gave us this menu that has three or four items on it, none of which you're going to order because one of them is the salmon. No one's getting salmon there. I bet it's fine. I like the salmon. Chet said salmon's out though is it really oh yeah that's what he said was he talking about the clothing color was he talking about the the protein he's he's switched completely to tuna ahi tuna that's big ahi tuna summer maybe

he's worried about his mercury levels so at the end of the day it's like you you get they give you a partial menu that you're having to touch and other people have touched and you're having to do the phone thing. It's like just give us the full menu. Yeah, there's a thing on the corner that says for the full menu, scan here. Yeah, you have to scan the partial menu. It's like what's the point? I'm already touching this one thing. The user interface when you actually scan the menu and bring it up on your phone also leaves a little bit to be desired.

The worst to ever do it. The worst to ever do it. It is the least user-friendly menu I've ever seen. I didn't... Can we go back to the martini real quick? Yeah, I got sidetracked. No, it's okay. It's kind of an impromptu steam room.

Give me credit for calling it, too. When you ordered that, I was like, Will, he doesn't know how to make a martini, I promise. No, and so I thought that I might have been the first person in a while to do it because the waitress seemed a little rattled. And then the bartender came out after I finished my martini to ask me how it was. Yeah.

I love that dude. He was the best. He was the best. That's the guy who cared about his craft. Yeah. He wanted to show me that he knew how to do it. And he asked me if I had any edits for it. And I felt bad not giving him some edits for it.

So I told him I was like a little less for moods next time. And I think it's perfect. He respected your honesty. Yeah. I had to give it to him straight because I could him I was like a little less for moves next time and I think it's perfect. He respected your honesty. Yeah, I had to give it to him straight because I could tell he was a straight shooter as well. He wanted to know where he could improve, man.

Like that's the kind of guy you want working. He had to Google how to make a Martini. Yeah, I want him on my team. Which is fine. I want him on my team. TGI Fridays doesn't treat you

like that though because they know how to make everything because they have the World Bartending Championships. I still have video from that on my phone we should post. We should. We should meme it. You need to talk about the lime yeah when the waitress when the waitress brought me my martini she set it down and said sorry i asked for a lime for this

but he said that that doesn't go with a martini is there a scenario where there is a martini that has a twist a mexican martini i could see i see, I mean, this was a dirty martini. Like an El Martini? A twist, a twist does mean like it has lemon something in it, right? Yeah, martinis do come with twists, but I'm not a twist boy. A twist.

Do the twist. Twist. Randy, what'd you order last night? What'd you go with? I went with the ribs. The ribs and french fries and coleslaw, which the coleslaw apparently was just corn. So that was great. It was corn slaw.

It was just corn on the cob. Dude, our side of the table was just straight up ribbed up. Yeah. Yeah. We were the meat side. They were good. We were the big boys looking to bulk. Yeah.

Tis the season. They were buffalo chicken side. What? You and Brett both got buffalo chicken yeah i did something like absolutely loco that no one else is doing and after we ate the triple dipper that also had boneless wings i ordered more boneless wings because they were so fire and guess what i had really bad heartburn last night to the surprise of no one i will say did we not we asked for two triple dippers and we didn't tell her what we wanted we let her just do like a proprietary that's because she asked us or she made a comment about what we want on the triple dipper and because no one can understand her oh yeah she was a low talker and whispered at the same time

she was a low talker for sure we just like but in her defense she her defense, she crushed it because those were good triple Ds. She did do a good job. I wanted more egg rolls. We could have – if I would have had it my way and I could have done one substitute, I would have maybe taken out the sliders and instead just had more egg rolls. Because I didn't get an egg roll. But what was cool about the egg roll is that it was so hot that I had to spit some of it out, and it got on my thumb, and it kind of hurt my thumb because it was so hot.

Spit on it, bae? I would have made one edit to that too. If there's five people at the place, you should probably bring out five plates, not three. Yeah, that would be a good call. I just let Dylan eat it off of my naked body. Yeah.

Was I in the bathroom when that happened? It was a quadruple dipper. Randy, what were you sipping on last night? The El Presidente. I almost, like muscle memory, did almost order the El Glissadente. That would have been tight if they would have had little shakers that said El Glissadente on it. Very cool, Randy. Dave did.

When Dylan went to the bathroom at one point and Dave asked the waitress for a children's menu, hoping that there was a hot dog on it because he was going to punk you was going to punk you like that's why y'all were snickering when i got back no we were just talking about you no we were watching snick snick at night dude snick was the shit can't believe dylan even knows what that's really impressive honestly you deserve you don't know what snick is uh-uh snick was the bomb dude it was every saturday night on nickelodeon they had snick are you afraid of the dark among other shows roundhouse do you remember roundhouse things of that nature very cool it went until it ran until 2005 yeah nick was going off dude there were some good snick lineups that i've looked at actually recently on their wikipedia page i tried to name my son snickless but my wife

wouldn't let me she didn't go with that no randy tell me about the other drink the jackberry oh the uh the jackberry margarita and uh blackberry jack daniels uh what was it the jimador patron it's probably hamador el jimador i think el jimador i like el jimador yeah it's weird so they just the manager like pulls out his Blackberry and like stirs the drink with it. I find that weird too. And I was like, what? It was a good dinner. I had a really good time.

I mean, we actually got to eat it. I feel like shit afterwards. Yeah, dude. I feel terrible. I had three drinks last night and I feel absolutely awful and I think it's from the food. I legitimately drank water the entire night. This morning I woke up and I was like,

did I drink heavily? Was that vodka? Did nobody tell me? Did somebody sneak me a... You did get a sick fit pic off in front of Chili's though. You were looking hella thin in that. Like, like, like lean muscle.

Your arms are perfectly tiny. Well, thin is in. Yeah. Great arm day for you. Perfectly tiny. My legs do is in. Yeah. Great arm day for you. Perfectly tiny. My legs do look – I look taller in that because my legs look so thin. To be clear, I'm not that tall. I'm flirting with 5'10". I facetuned it and gave you a 38-inch inseam.

Really? Mm-hmm. Did they say something else? That baseball game was pretty tight, though, that they had out there. Yeah, it was cool that the only TV that Randy had a good view of was Frozen during the fourth inning the entire time. Dude, that game, it's still 4-2. Two runners on.

Plays it third. I'm glad we went to Chili's, though. Shouts to my wife for picking me up and dropping me off. That was big of her. That might be my last Chili's experience. It's not my last ever, but it's definitely my last for 2021. I don't need any more Chili's for a little bit. I'm good. I just feel like shit.

I just feel bad about myself. So here's what we ate. Here's what I ate, and I think it's fairly similar to what you ate. We ate the exact same thing. Chips and salsa. Now, I did eat way more salsa than anyone. I love their salsa. The second you went to the bathroom and washed your hands, the salsa, it was over for that salsa. I looked at the container because you and I were sharing, and it went from being two-thirds full to being completely empty.

Two-thirds the salsa. Southwestern egg roll. You should have had one, Dylan. They were great. They were good. Boneless wing. One of those little awesome blossom petals. Just one.

What else? Oh, half rack of ribs, corn on the cob, and a handful of fries. And it's amazing that I woke up with just the worst reflux I've had in years. The waitress also did this thing that it really annoys me. Okay. I feel like we're just going in on her. Yeah, you kind of are. She kind of deserves it.

I'm trying to sing her praises a little bit to not make her feel bad. She does this thing where instead of remembering who ordered what drink, she'll just bring them all to the same spot at the table and hold it over my shoulder and expect me to pass it out to whoever ordered it. Well, is this the only way she can serve the drink? To be honest, I don't mind when waiters and waitresses do that. Is it because your big-ass head almost knocked it over?

Don't make me your middleman. Just bring it to the guy sitting three feet from me. You want to get cut out. You're the only middleman asking to get cut out. I don't want to be a middleman. This guy ordered the martini and handed it to him. I don't want to be your middleman. I don't want to pass it to him. I thought you were going Foo Fighters.

That's a good one, too. Don't want to pass it to him. I don't know why that. I thought you were going Foo Fighters. That's a good one, too. Don't want to be your middleman. And then that dickhead a few tables over who was. They're so bad. No, dude. They had their time. Hey, remember that dickhead at the other table who was cash-splaining? He was explaining to the waitress how to properly give cash back when she was giving a change.

That guy was a dick. Yeah, that guy was being mean. He almost looked like. He looked like Brett. But if Brett made a lot of bad was a dick. Yeah, that guy was being mean. He almost looked like, he looked like Brett, but if Brett made a lot of bad decisions in life. Dude, you're at Chili's. Let's calm down. Let me say this. We have complained quite a bit about Chili's.

We were nice to the waiter or waitress. We tipped well. We tipped very well. Therefore, I think we're allowed to do this. We didn't mansplain tipping or cash to the waitress. They also ran out of some beers while we were ordering them. And I think they brought me a nice giant free beer.

I appreciated that. Oh, yeah. Very big of them. Good for you. Brought me ice cream. Yeah, you also got some ice cream with the hard shell on the top, Randy. Aren't you a big hard shell guy? Was that the molten lava?

No, no. It was the hard shell, as Will just said. I still don't understand. She said it was like free. Why was it free? Because it was your birthday. We told her early on that it was your birthday. Oh, okay.

And it was just easier to explain than saying that you worked at the company for a year. She was like, how do you guys make money? What do you guys do? Do you like radio? No, no, no. It's his birthday. Is it a hobby for you guys? So you have like another job.

Yeah, so like what else do you do? Are you a real estate professional on the side? I saw you on LinkedIn recently. Me and Brett went to Zanzibar, which you guys all backed out of. I have a child at home. He needed me to be there. I have a child at home as well. Had to raise him.

I had to go see Bay. Wow, fucking stunt. See, you have the worst excuse, to be honest. You have the worst excuse. You're right. But I was down bad after that meal, honestly. Were you too down bad? Me drinking a 22-ounce amber ale on top of it after just because it was free was probably not the move.

Whoa, amber is the color of the ale you ordered. I hate when it's dead. I like it. It's pretty good, Dylan. It was good. Hey, were you, did you continue drinking when you saw Bay or did you, were you just like,

I got all sorts of bad food in me. I had a half a glass of cab when I got back. A half a glass. Just a little sipper. Did you pour half a glass or did you leave the half glass sitting on the coffee table? No.

And then you had to throw it out this morning. They offered me some wine because she was having a glass herself, and I said, I want half a glass, exactly. What vintage was it? I don't recall. Was it a Caymus? Do you recall your vintage, dude? Was it the Caymus?

Is that some kind of, like, cum joke? Are you not familiar with Caymus? I'm totally familiar with Caymus. What's your problem, dude? It's a great wine. I'm totally familiar with Caymus. What's your problem, dude? It's a good wine. We weren't drinking Caymus last night, okay? High society Dylan over here. No one's drinking Caymus on a Tuesday night.

Someone drank Caymus last night. Nobody. That's the most small-baller thing I've ever heard you say. You don't even... Small-baller, dude. You have not ever big-balled. You're such a small-baller. I know.

I know. It's true. I wish I could afford that shit. I just like how the bottle looks. It's a really dope bottle. I know. I know. It's true. I wish I could afford that shit. I just like how the bottle looks. It's a really dope bottle. They crushed their label. The bottle's fine. It's nothing special.

What's the wine scout and seller? I don't know. Sure, dude. Do I look like a scout? Somebody sent me this. What kind of broke boy shit are you drinking? Somebody sent me something. It was actually pretty good.

So I just want to say. It was like the service or something. I don't know. I don't know, man. That backer who sent us their homemade wine. Dude, that stuff was legit. Oh, my gosh. That was legit. That was legit. Incredible wine something. I don't know. I don't know, man. A backer who sent us their homemade wine. Dude, that stuff was legit. Oh, my gosh. That was legit, incredible wine.

Trey Fratelli. I messaged him, and I said, I want to buy some from you. He goes, we don't sell it. We'll sell it, dog. I said, I refuse to take any more for free. I refuse. No, dude, it's amazing. I loved it.

I wish they sold it so that we could just pump this stuff. If you told me it blind taste test, it was like a $100 bottle off the shelf, I would believe it. Let me say this. I will accept more free wine, so hit me up. That stuff was good. Oh, okay. If you send me free wine from your family's vineyard, I will send you a video.

Five seconds of me talking into the camera. You put a lot of value on these personal videos. It's an NFT, Dylan. It's future blockchain. What does NFT stand for? Not frat. Something. Not frat tat.

He was a dude that wasn't in the frat but went to every party yeah he's like he's boys with like one of the cooler guys so i let him hang around randy how would you rate your uh one year anniversary dinner that came one year and two weeks after your anniversary was one year and two weeks uh i would give it a solid we're going on a scale do you regret picking you regret picking Chili's, too? I regret picking that Chili's. Yeah. See, this helps us because if Randy is bitching about the service, too, it's not just us being de-haze. It's the worst to ever do it.

I mean, Randy, he's Randy. He's Midwest Randy. When I flagged on the waitress and said, hey, can we order our food? And she's like, yeah, and then came back 10 minutes later. Saying yes and then coming back 10 minutes later was a unique move. It's understandable since she had zero other tables to look after. My wife was real stoked when I did three hours at Chili's. And we had food for about 30 minutes of it.

You should have had more chips and salsa. It's very good. I would give it a 6.2. That's pretty high. How was Zanzibar? Zanzibar was good. It was good. I'd give that about an 8.2. That's pretty high. How was Zanzibar? Zanzibar was good. It was good. I'll give that about an 8.2.

No one's talking about it, but we went party Randy last night. Randy had the going out shirt on. Yeah. He did. It was almost like the shirt we almost bought Brett at the whatever the mall in North Park, Montalos. That was a good shirt. We should have done that.

Randy had his I'm not going home alone tonight shirt on. Yeah. Did you go home alone last night, Randy? Yeah. Okay. Whatever, dude. But it was a perfect night for a rooftop bar. There's a scenario where I made it out, but it wasn't going to happen last night.

I'm glad you had fun, Randy. Did you have fun? Those margaritas were delicious. I did have fun. I kind of regret not getting an El Presidente, if I'm being honest. They weren't that good. Okay. I had a sip of Bretts.

Okay. Okay. Please don't do that. I'll be honest. I am infatuated with the bartender because... The Grind Boy? That dude, I love what he did like he was like whoa martini you know i don't really make those often if ever he was the best to ever do so i'm gonna

look it up i'm gonna try my best i'm gonna walk over to the guy and be like hey man how'd i do no yeah i appreciated that i wish i would have stood up and just shook his hand it's a savvy move i tried to stand up and kiss him right on the mouth, but he was like, oh, dude. COVID. Yeah, I saw you try that. It's an Italian thing. You wouldn't get it. Oh, what a night. No, let's just talk stamps.com instead, I think. I think that's the move, because let's face it, taking trips to the post office is probably

not how you want to spend your time. And that's why I recommend mailing and shipping online at stamps.com. Stamps.com allows you to mail and ship anytime, anywhere, right from your computer. You can send letters, ship packages, and pay a lot less with discounted rates from USPS, UPS, and more. Stamps.com has saved businesses thousands of hours and tons of money. And with Stamps.com, you get services at the post office and UPS all in one place, plus big discounts on mailing and shipping rates. You guys aware of this company?

You're not going to catch me back in the post office. Not as long as stamps.com is here. No. There's a lot of people out there that, like, they took COVID and they decided to better themselves. I don't think anyone in this room did that. I think everyone got a little more trash in this room. But a lot of people had, like, side hustles and stuff. And if you're trying to, like, ship stuff or do, like, anything small business-wise large business, because they do large scale, stamps.com is the move.

Everybody's got to ship something at some point. You've got to. You're going to be purchasing postage, all right? Yeah. You stamps. This has been huge in my side business. I'm flipping timeshares. Really?

Which, by the way, Dylan, I need to talk to you after this pod. He's got a very good opportunity for you. Thank you for approaching me about this. I think he'll be very interested. Okay. You can use any computer to print official U.S. postage 24-7 for any letter, any package, any class of mail, anywhere you want to send it. And once it's ready, just schedule to pick up or drop it off.

It's that simple. It's so easy. It's the easiest. We've been using stamps.com for three or four years, maybe longer. Without stamps.com, I wasn't sending out my first scary shirts. I was on my grind back then. Arguably not working here. Yeah. Without Stamps.com, I wasn't sending out my first scary shirts. I was on my grind back then. Arguably not working here. Yeah.

It's beautiful. With Stamps.com, you also get discounts up to 40% off the post office rates and up to 62% off UPS rates. 62%! That's over half off, dog. Yeah. Good math there. Thank you.

That's pretty good. It's a no-brainer. It saves you time and money. It's no wonder nearly 1 million small businesses already use Stamps.com. Stop wasting time going to the post office and go to Stamps.com instead. There's no risk. And with our promo code circling back, you get a special

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That's stamps.com. Promo code circling back. Stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. Oh. Dude, we got some big news coming out of the Caribbean. There's this Italian mafia fugitive, and he was caught in the Dominican Republic. How did he get caught? Because he was doing a YouTube cooking

show, which is the cockiest move ever for a retired mobster. You know, you gotta think when you're a fugitive that you should lay low a little bit and not start a YouTube channel. The Lay Low Great Bar in Houston. Was he doing numbers? Apparently enough to tip off someone. It says

whoever wrote this was just clearly, like, they thought they crushed the first line of this article. It says, Stanley Tucci's not the only one with a popular Italian cooking show, it would seem. Got him! Have you guys been watching that Stanley Tucci show at all? Who's Stanley Tucci? He's a dude from Devil Wears Prada that everyone just loves.

He's bald. Oh, with the big, the thick glasses? Yeah, he's a thick glasses boy. Yeah. His show, you would actually love it, dude, because you've been to Italy. Oh, yeah, I do. I summer there. Yeah, Dave, you used to live in Italy.

Yeah, I did live there for a time. It's a good show. If anyone has any way to watch it without the 100 commercials during it, I would be more than open to doing that. So just let me know. But it says a mafia fugitive has been arrested in the Dominican Republic after inadvertently tipping off police with his culinary hobby. After seven years on the

run, Mark Farron Claude Biart was tracked down through a YouTube cooking channel he started with his wife, the Italian police said in a statement. Oh, that's cute. This is so cut. Says the alleged gangster's love of Italian cuisine and tattooing made his arrest possible.

This is a meat cute. Because they're cooking meat. It's cute. I think it's cute to arrest mafiosos. It's not cute to do that, but to have a cooking show with your wife on the internet. Hey, gabagool. Oh, oh. Oh.

Do you think when they stormed into his place in the DR, he was just, oh, oh, oh, whoa, what are we doing here? She starts spitting on the floor. Hey, I'm walking in. I don't know what you're talking about. He's from Italy. He doesn't talk like that. It's me, the cooking show guy. He's not Mario, dude.

A what? I can't even put on the internet. You watch that overseas. I don't get it. What if he didn't know how the internet worked and he thought that was only visible in the Dominican Republic? He thought YouTube was only for you? He thought it was a local channel. It's like, oh, shit.

That was supposed to be a private link I was supposed to send to my boy. Whatever you do, please subscribe and leave a review. It's me. If you like what you saw. Shout out to the Lieutenant Colonel Massimiliano Galasso. Great. That's a fucking name. Massimiliano Galasso.

That is a fantastic name. Holy shit. It said, alerted by his wife's YouTube activity and alarmed by the knowledge that the fugitive had previously worked at a restaurant in Italy, Galasso said police discovered the cooking videos and realized they had their man. He probably thought he was like, oh, honey, this bolognese that we just did, the views on this video are going off right now. A lot of people in Italy are really liking this video.

I'm still stuck on Massimiliano Galasso. Holy shit. I heard they were taking him to the van the van or like the police car to arrest him six and he was just going what six syllable first name you don't see that damn i told you i'm really good at counting syllables in my head when they were taking it as a fun fan and he was likeuffed, apparently he was just like, hey, like and subscribe. Oh. I mean, no PR is bad PR. I know what they say. Is this available to subscribe to or at least watch?

Because I would definitely watch some of this. I would love to. Yeah, they don't link the thing in here anywhere. I want to see this cooking show. Where he messed up was not covering his tats. He could have been wearing a shooting sleeve on each arm. It's tough when you cook, though, because you've got to roll up the sleeves a little bit.

You don't want to get any pasta sauce. You've got to toss that dough up there. I bet this guy's got dope tats. I'll just say it. Hard to say. It's a me. Massimiliano. Lieutenant Colonel. Put some respect on his name. Sorry. Massimiliano Galasso. Put some respect on his name. Sorry.

Massimiliano Galasso. That is a strong name. He was known to locals as simply Mark. Hey, what was the video yesterday? And Mark. Mark. Oh, my God. That was such a good video. I'm rocking with Mark.

How's that not blown up yet? I don't know. I mean, maybe it has. We're just old. And we're a good video. I'm rocking with Mark. How's that not blown up yet? I don't know. I mean, maybe it has. We're just old. And we're just late. Probably from a couple weeks ago. It was definitely like a vine. And Mark.

He's rocking with us. Shouts to Mark. It's kind of bullshit. They don't. Ooh, maybe they do have the video. Oh, they linked to the video on this site. This is great. The production value on this is not great how many subscribers

does he have hard to say because i don't think that was actually it no man that's tough for him dude he was just trying to ride like like do you ever think about what kind of hobbies you want to pick up when you retire this guy was just trying to cook online for the masses and then all of a sudden he's in cuffs going to jail that's sad sad. Wait, I think I missed it. What is he in trouble for? Just being a mafia fugitive. Oh, racketeering. He was racketeering. Ah.

Was he racketeering? Racketeering's a serious one, huh? It's actually racketeering. He actually built a jet pack and he's been flying around fighting crime. Wait, really? Wow. Getting arrested for racketeering is kind of sick. It's really not.

It's a very serious charge, actually. It's dishonest and fraudulent business dealings, per Google. I always forget what racketeering is. It sounds like something that would be like, it sounds like something that you would do at like a country club. Right. Oh, the racketeering courts are over there. I think it's like just general gangster shit.

Yeah. It's a blanket statement for being. Tekashi69, he was arrested for racketeering courts are over there. I think it's like just general gangster shit. It's a blanket statement for being... Tekashi69, he was arrested for racketeering, among other things. I don't want to talk about him. I'm just telling you. He gives me the creeps. Is it because of the big 69 tattooed on his face? That's part of it, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, that's something to do with it. He tried to slide into Lil Nas X's DMs a while back, and then Lil Nas X exposed him. Tekashi? Mm-hmm. He wants some of those Satan shoes. Did you guys cop those, by the way? Mm-hmm. They sold out immediately.

Yeah. Sick. I just don't want blood on my shoes. Unless it's Dylan's. I just want blood on the bottoms. You know? Louboutins. You don't know.

It's pronounced Louboutins. Oh, you want some red bottoms. It's bloody shoes. Yeah. Red bottom shoes. You wouldn't know, David. I need to know what this dude did. It's probably in the story.

It would have helped if I had read it with more precision. But here we are. Whatever he did, it wasn't good. They didn't say in the story what he did. Trafficking cocaine, allegedly, from the Netherlands. You know what? Let him off. I mean, do you think he can do his cooking show from prison?

It was like the Goodfellas. He was a member of the notorious Drangheta crime syndicate. Dude, you crushed that. I think I did, too. Drangheta. Drangheta. One of the most feared and powerful in Europe. That's in the Calabria region, right? You crushed that. I think I did, too. Drangheta. Drangheta. One of the most feared and powerful in Europe.

That's in the Calabria region, right? Calabria, we say, actually. Yeah, but I'm Americanizing it for our listeners. They don't really understand. Like Versailles, Ohio. The toe of southern Italy's boot-shaped peninsula. I'm surprised you didn't know that. Great seafood. You wouldn't know. Okay dumbass okay sally and i were gonna honeymoon in italy we were gonna go hit the coast

well can we not travel can we travel there yet are they you can't no you can't when they can open it back up i don't know do i look like do i look like a government official dylan maybe i was trying to hit the coast and eat some ceviche and shit, and now I'm just sitting here with you dumbasses. Dude, go to Capri. I've been trying to, dog. It's mega dope. I'm begging to, man.

Don't wear a fedora, though. What's really convenient, though, since we didn't get a honeymoon and we were going to do it after the ongoing global pandemic was done, is that we have a kid now, so we're not going to travel forever. No, it makes it easier, actually. Take the kid to Capri. Get a tan on that little guy? Or girl. We don't know.

Rhodes, when we take him to the car or take him outside, you've got to keep the sun off of him. Not a fan of the sun. He might be a vampire. Does he have any bucket hats? Yeah, if we got him a bucket hat. Can I get him one? Let me get him a bucket hat. Member of Bucket Mafia. Yeah, he's in. We had our baby shower last week

and one of Sally's friend's moms saw my tweet about wanting a bucket hat for our child, and she got me a bucket hat. That's sweet. It was so sweet. That is sweet. I'm so happy about it. But I just don't know about my wife's friend's mom's following me on Twitter. Much rather than following me on Facebook, something I don't use. No, I like the Twitter.

I'm thinking about getting, like, we don't know if we're having a boy or a girl, so I'm thinking about getting two bucket hats made, one with the girl name, one with the boy name. But they said that Massimiliano was too long to embroider on the front of it, so we're having to rebrand the kid. Sometimes you got to live Moss, Massimiliano. What if you heard, like, an insider?

Little Moss? What if you were a fly on the wall at, like, my apartment and you heard me talking to Sally about, like, we're not not talking about naming the kid we're talking about how we're going to brand this child there's people who do that it's like dude yeah like what's this what's the baby's aesthetic going to be when it comes out of the womb little moss x hello moss access dude that has potential it does have potential doesn't it, if you like this one, check out my friend. He's cooking a show. Hey, right in the corner.

Like and subscribe. Shout out to our man, Mark. We're a local, so we can call him Mark. Mark? Mark with the strangely... Mark? Did you see the perp walk photo? No.

The what? The perp walk photo. Does he have a bunch of spaghetti sauce all over the front of him? No, but he's got some calves on him. I'm imagining all the people in Dominican Republic being like, dude, who's this Italian guy that moved in and is making the fire pasta over here? I love this dude. I'm going to make a generalization here.

We've made a lot, unfortunately, during this segment. He's from the southern tip of Italy, which traditionally they have a darker skin tone, as it's a southern part. So maybe he blended in a little bit better. It'd be tight. Yeah. Maybe he was learning. Maybe it was a learning show and he wasn't even doing Italian food.

Maybe he was trying to do some of the local cuisine. Maybe he was just trying to do numbers on YouTube. So I give him a break. It's a fusion. Oh. Oh. What? What do you want, Dylan?

Nothing, man. Can we discuss a new sponsor real quick? Is it a new, Dylan? Nothing, man. Can we discuss a new sponsor real quick? Is it a new sponsor alert? Yeah, do it. New sponsor. Would you mind if I step to the mic? No, you can do it. Thank you.

New sponsor. We have a new sponsor. We do have a new sponsor. Have you ever used investing apps or anything like that? Sometimes they're really difficult and confusing, and it kind of is intimidating for your boy over here because I'm new to the investment game. Yeah, I'm always looking for a user-friendly trading app.

The stock market is made for public trading. And as a member of the public, I'm of the thinking that it should be more accessible to everybody. And up to this point, I don't know if it has been. And that's why I just joined Public.com, the investing social network where you can buy stocks for any amount of money and share ideas with a community of investors. Signing up was actually incredibly easy, Dylan. It's quite easy. And full disclosure, I used to use a different one before learning about public

and much less user-friendly. And as someone who's new to the trading game, to stocks, I found this one to be much more easy to navigate, user-friendly, and just it's got a good aesthetic as well. I really like it. Some of these apps out there, they're intimidating because there's a lot of stuff going on that I don't really truly understand. Exactly. This cuts that out, and it makes it much easier.

I don't work on Wall Street. This is all new to me. I'm not going to pretend to know how all this works. I'm learning. I'm learning. The app is free to use, and there's no account minimums to get started. how all this works. I'm learning.

I'm learning. The app is free to use and there's no account minimums to get started. With fractional investing, you can buy slices of stocks at any amount of money versus the full share so you can get started

with as little as a dollar. As little as a dollar, Dylan. Oh. All you need is a chip and a chair. Public.com is creating new, more inclusive culture for investing. When they say they want to open

the stock market to everyone, they mean everyone. The public community, public.com community is made up of 40% women and 45% people of color. Everybody out here investing. You love to see it.

You got to. They take a responsible approach. They don't promote risky or gambling-like behavior, offer complex trading tools to beginners, and they don't encourage day trading.

74% of their community considers themselves to be long-term investors. I'm sorry. They're in it for the long term. I am too. Of course. These hands are...

I'm not getting rid. You're saying you have diamond hands. Maybe. Public prides itself on transparency and won't sell your data to market makers and third parties, so break free of financial institutions that want you to spend more money and profit from your information. Go to public.com slash steam to follow me on public.com.

You can follow me. I tried to get the username Will because I thought I was going to be an early mover on public.com. That's a cocky attempt. I know. And so I'm just Will DeFreeze. You can go follow that. Have y'all talked about the notifications you get

like when the market's about to open and close? Very convenient. Not yet. Let me say I love that feature. It's a great feature. Go to public.com slash steam to follow me on public and follow these guys too and see what we're

investing in. Hint Peloton. You can start by investing today with as little as $1. You'll even get a free slice of stock when you go to join. Just go to public.com slash steam to download the public.com app. Valid for U.S. residents 18 and older. Subject to account approval.

See public.com slash disclosures. that's a tough word for me sometimes it's not investment advice can we talk about the real story here yeah dude biden's dog is becoming a problem hey what's this dog's deal dude some other news came out about it too so the first story that we saw is that this so this dog bit uh someone a couple days or like a couple weeks ago and they sent him off to Delaware. Hey, Daily News, chill with the pop-ups, man. Dude, the pop-ups on this site.

Dude, that site, you can't. You just can't. I will say, Biden's dog was sent to Delaware after biting a staff member a couple weeks ago. They tried to say that was a planned trip. Yeah, okay. And now Major Biden, the dog, has been involved in a second biting incident at the White House.

Rescue dog, by the way. Shout. Shout out. It's a German Shepherd, correct? He's rambunctious. Yes. You don't want to be called rambunctious. If you're a dog,

if you're out there trying to adopt a dog and it says that it's rambunctious, that's not a good thing. Let me just say this, and I don't mean to get political, but someone once sent me a meme on facebook that said there are no such things as bad dogs there's only bad owners really if that meme is true but it's a bad owner let me let me see he's a bad owner jim he's working a lot these days though multiple dog multiple bites if this dog's owner wasn't the president of the united states He's a bad owner, Jim. He's working a lot these days, though. Multiple bites.

If this dog's owner wasn't the president of the United States, they might be looking at a different fate. Okay, I don't want to. Let's not go to high school. I'm just saying. What's your problem? I'm just saying. If they try to do that. Why society doesn't put up with this is what I'm saying.

That will be the story on every cable news network. If they somehow try to do. There's no way they let that happen. You can't put the president's dog down. I'll take the dog. You know what I mean? A White House reporter tweeted an hour ago, which is pretty much when we started this episode, that one of Biden's dogs pooped on the floor. I saw that.

All right. It says Champ and Major were spotted in the hallway outside the palm room doors in front of the diplomatic room. There was dog poop on the floor. It's unclear which dog was responsible for it. How the hell did a human poop? You think humans were poop poop on the floor. It's unclear which dog was responsible. How the hell was dog poop human poop? You think humans were pooping on the floor? You think Biden did it? I'm not ruling anything out at this point.

Do you think Biden's trying to get rid of these dogs so he's pooping on the floor in order to, like, trick people? I think that's not happening. You've got to think. I will say, like, great name. Major? Major's a great name, especially for a German shepherd of this ilk. Yeah.

I mean, it was weird. Remember when Trump just didn't have a dog? What's worse, not having a dog or having a dog that bites? Not having a dog. No, probably the one that bites. The one that bites can be a problem. When was the last president not to have a dog? Besides Trump?

Yeah. Before Trump. Did to have a dog? Besides Trump? Yeah. Before Trump. Did Reagan have a dog? I know both Bushes had dogs. Obama, of course, had a dog. Obama had a dog. Bo. There's only been three.

My dog, Bo. There's only been three. You guys ready for these guys? James K. Polk. Of course. Oh, the Polk administration. Fucking Polk. Of course.

Dude, classic Polk administration. Andrew Johnson and Donald Trump. Okay. Polk. Of course. Oh, the Polk administration, of course. Dude, classic Polk administration. Andrew Johnson and Donald Trump. Okay. Andrew Johnson. If someone asked me to make a list of all the presidents, Polk and Johnson are getting forgotten on my list every single time, and I don't think that's a coincidence. I don't know if I've ever heard the name Polk.

No, Andrew Johnson's pretty notoriously bad, I believe. Andy J.? Is he not? It's Jackson. Oh, I'm thinking of Jackson. Look, Andrew Johnson was the 17th president. Is it Andrew Jackson I was thinking of? Let's start a history podcast.

Here's the deal. Let me tell you this. You're not going to learn anything. You're not going to learn from this podcast. No. You're going to learn some things, but nothing you need. But nothing in U.S. history. I'm out on Andrew Johnson, dude.

What's his problem? What's his deal, though? What year was he? He was the president from 1865 to 1869 nice oh he followed up pretty influential time there actually lincoln yeah i don't i don't know what he did he was the 17th president i need to read books reconstruction i believe was a big thing on him i'm getting this all from the internet, as you can tell. Biden did say that there are going to be regular trips for these dogs

to Delaware. I think they're going to end up putting this dog down and getting a dog double, and then the internet's going to run crazy with it, and there's going to be a bunch of comparisons. That'll be a fun theory. This is how this ends, isn't it? You want to know Andrew Jackson's nicknames?

Yeah. A-Jack. King Mob. No way. Old Hickory. I knew that one. The Hero of New Orleans. That's what they're going to be called. The first two are better.

They're going to be calling Mike that after his bachelor party in August. Is that a sandwich hero or is that like a... Yeah. Oh. The guy just looks sandwichy. He had major sandwich vibes. So stupid, dude. Wait, is a euro a sandwich

sure oh oh that's a good question tweet that no you should dude no no no i hey it's such a good tweet you have it be my honor to allow you yeah good sir people are just gonna make into a hot dog as a sandwich thing and i'm uh i'm just not gonna. Is it? How do you actually pronounce that word, though? Giro. It's Giro. Giada says Giro. Who does? Giada.

Well, then it's correct because anything Gianna says is... Who's that? Who's Giada? That's a fucking guy. Are you serious, dude? Who's Giada? Respect on Giada De Laurentiis' name, dog. I don't know. I've never heard that name in my life.

She's a super chef, man. She's more than that. She's a little ball of fun. She says more than that. She's a little ball of fun. She says what? Okay. Iro? Iro? She goes heavy on the Italian accent when it comes to these things.

I think she is Italian. She is, I think. But, yeah, she goes hard on those over-pronunciations. I know it's a Greek word. She might have some Greek in her. We've got a friend from college. When I lived with him at the Compound. Remember the Compound, Dylan?

Didn't you guys call it something else? Nope. We called it compound. I would get home from class, you know, when I even went, right? He would be watching, just sitting there on the couch watching Giada. She's hot. Was hot. Probably is.

Ages well. A lot of age teenagers used to watch Giada back in the day. I think I know who she is now. Oh, yeah. After you described her as being attractive. She's done pretty well for herself. Good for her. She'll probably get canceled next year for some bullshit reason.

Okay. She did, like, an appearance on Mark's cooking show in the Dominican. That'd be great. She's like, I didn't know. He's just trying to link. Yeah. I get it. Are these dogs a problem?

They're pooping on floors and biting staff members. Biden did say that 85% of his staff likes the dogs. I would love to talk to the 15% who does not like it. Those 15% got to go. 15% is a heavy. If 50% of people don't like my dog, my dog is a problem. And I'm aware of it. 5% is too many.

Yeah. 1% is too much. What if you found out one of your boys just hated your dog? Like, what if you found out that I just didn't like Stella at all? I don't know how I would tell you that.

You texted me some stuff. Shut up, Dave. Shut up, dude. There's gonna be a photo and it's gonna be a scandal of them with this dog and it's gonna have a muzzle on. Or it's gonna be in like a crate and it's going to have a muzzle on. Or it's going to be in, like, a crate, and it's going to be, like, inhumane.

And that photo is going to get out, and people are going to go crazy, and it's going to be all over Fox. Well, do you know how he got – the way that they took the dog to Delaware was that they strapped a crate to the top of Air Force One and flew there with it. And it survived? It survived, yeah. Was it pretty windy in the crate? Pretty impressive. It was stupid windy. It was really cold up there with it. And it survived? It survived, yeah. Was it pretty windy in the crate? Pretty impressive. It was stupid windy. Really cold up there, too.

You know you're not supposed to roll down your windows if you're driving fast with your dog in it because their eyes or something can glaucoma or some shit? Rosie loves sticking her head out the window. I don't do it unless I'm on a 35-mile-per-hour or less road. Well, Stella is terrified of riding in the car, so she is in the back in the crate just being anxious the entire time. It's because you drive like a madman.

No. You're always texting. Yeah. Stella hit me up. She was like, dude, my dad's always texting and driving. Stop. We've got to kill that narrative right now. Well.

That is a – It's all up to you, my man. It used to be. I got better. We did that whole thing the other day where Dave, Brett, and I all left happy hour at the exact same time, and we were sitting in traffic just all next to each other. Three kings. The boys were mopping.

That's pretty cute. It was pretty dope. That's pretty cute. It was like when we left the accountant's office when we first started the company. And we were on 360 and we looked over at you. Dude, it felt like an F1 race. You were just two hands on the wheel. The thumbs were just doing work.

And on the phone. Yeah. How do you apex on your turns when you're texting and stuff? Because that would be hard. All right, apex? Yeah, dude. What do you mean? Dude, come on.

Watch F1 one time, dog. Guys, look away. Wow. Are you about to die? Is this a free sponsor alert? I just killed it. Dude, your thirst is done for. Bye.

Thirst. See you, thirst. Shout out to Liquid Death. Well, thirst. See you, thirst. Shots of liquid death. Well, yeah, you know what? I hope Biden figures this out. I feel like they would have access to good dog trainers. Maybe bring in like the Secret Service canine unit trainer. Cesar Millan?

Sally's pretty good. Yeah. Sally's pretty good with the— The clicker? Yeah. She did some great work with Rosie. Rosie's a whole new dog now. Broke her spirit.

That would be a big step up for the DeFreeze family if Sally got the call to go to D.C. Calling in Sally. Yep, we need Sally. What would be her Secret Service name?

Hard to say. I'm trying to think of of something I don't have anything the first thing that came into my head like she's not going to like what I would say I realized I was going to say something I was going to say Big Red she will not like that

after the gum Lil Red Lil Red we'll do Lil Red you think gum before you think soda when you hear Big Red interesting there's a soda called Big Red

uh Will Will you've never had Big Red? Uh, Will? Will You've never had Big Red? It's not good Are you serious, Clark? I'm looking it up right now It has a cult following Nah, your boy's never seen this before

What? Sorry It's been around since 1937 Yeah Nah Nah Okay Oh, it started in Waco

You're gonna hear about this Really? Yeah That's why I don't know about it dr peppers and way shots of grover c thompson who started the company though oh groves yeah yeah grover grove dog dude yeah he's a cool dude man red cream soda gross if you don't chew big red you hear about this movie? I hate you. Oh. I don't actually. Did you see one of the kids from that movie passed?

He wasn't a kid anymore. He was like 28. Really? The one who, you know, is calling out the grandpa at the dinner scene. Was it Walker or Texas Ranger? I don't remember. The older one, I believe. I think that was Texas Ranger.

Yeah, he passed away tragically. That's too bad. What a great scene. I know that movie is over-quoted as is most Will Ferrell movies, but that's an objectively good movie. If it's over-quoted, it's because it's a funny movie. What movie? Talladega Nights.

The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I'll say it. Oh, come on. I'll say it. You know, I'm going to be brave right now, and I'm going to say it. The dinner table scenes in that movie? God tier. God tier. God tier dinner table scenes.

Okay. If you see Will Ferrell sitting around a dinner table in a movie, you know you're about to be laughing. Dude, that kid was all jacked up on Mountain Dew. That scene, I know it's, like, overquoted, but that scene, the first time I saw it, I was like, that might be one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen in television or in movie history. It is an incredible scene. Did they win an Oscar for Talladega Nights? You gotta think they didn't.

You know what? Now that I'm a racing guy, ground floor F1, I know Talladega Nights is a NASCAR. I'm still gonna go watch it and kind of like

ride the same wave as the F1 thing. Sure. There's an F1 twist in it. Borat's an F1 driver turned NASCAR, so it works. Very nice.

He's like, my wife. My wife. Very nice. He's like, my wife. My wife. Very nice. Do you guys want to do my bachelor party in Monaco? Sure. We could probably get Chet to rent a yacht. Hey, that sounds cheap.

Let's do it. An actual yacht, not like the kind that Nate Diaz is on. Yeah, it's a fake yacht. People need to fix that. Is it time for This Weekend at Fun? Already? Dude, already? Dude, here's the theme song. You guys ready for this?

Ladies and gentlemen, The Weekend. That's so good. This Weekend is presented by Vizzy. Oh, man, I can't. It's a bad weekend to be at Vizzy right now. Imagine being at Vizzy. I don't want to because I would get busted open and drank. Busted open.

I can't wait for this weekend because I'm going to initiate my Get Vizzy, or excuse me, my Get Busy with Vizzy weekend initiative. You going to shake that booty don't stop to the beat drop? Just keep shaking it. Don't shake your cans of Vizzy before you open it. It might spray all over the place unless you're celebrating something like a national championship. I have some new flavors to try. I want to try all the lemonade flavors.

Really? Dude, the lemonade flavors, I'm excited to try those. I haven't tried those either. I just want to try their other new flavors. Like, they got the watermelon strawberry, blackberry lemon. Watermelon sugar. They don't have any watermelon sugar. He's doing this on too much stigma.

It's actually funny you say that. They don't have any sugar in them. It's actually pretty interesting. Guess we'll have to redo that one, Dylan. Yeah. doing this on too much stigma. It's actually funny you say that. They don't have any sugar in them. It's actually pretty interesting. Guess we'll have to redo that one, Dylan. Yeah. Wow, you idiot. Mm-hmm. Wow.

I'm going to have Brett email the people over at Vizzy right now and let them know that one of the hosts of the biggest podcast. It's you. We're talking about you. Dude, raspberry tangerine. I tried this one. You guys hear about this one? Rastan?

God tier. Really? It's a God tier hard seltzer. You've been hanging your hat on passion fruit a lot. How's that papaya passion fruit been hitting? It's very, very good. I'm very encouraged by the fact that behind the scenes, the ad company we work with,

I'm not going to add them, they are working diligently to try to get me my Vizzy package that didn't arrive last week when y'all's got here. They heard our little spot. Oh, I actually did. I got two. Was one of those yours? Dude, bring it over.

I drank them all. I can't wait to crack a Vizzy this weekend. What are you going to do? This weekend? Oh. You go first. Let's mix it up. Hold on.

There's a lot of people out there who are still drinking these other seltzers, and I don't know what they're doing because the other seltzers don't have vitamin C or superfruit acerola. And so I need you guys to throw those away or please actually recycle them. And then go to the store and get some Vizzy because with Vizzy, you can enjoy a refreshment now with antioxidant vitamin C. And at 5% ABV, 100 calories and less than one gram of real cane sugar per can. Every sip of Vizzy is more exhilarating. The Vizzy lemonade even has zero grams of sugar in it per 12-ounce serving.

Zero grams. Get that off the ingredient list. See you. You can have like eight and have less grams of sugar than it per 12-ounce serving. Zero grams. Get that off the ingredient list. See ya. You can have like eight and have less grams of sugar than like a glass of milk. Did they just murder that last gram of sugar? Hey, sugar. They took it out back. Just put it down.

Watermelon sugar. Bye. Upgrade your hard seltzer to busy. To find out where you can purchase busy, go to busyhardseltzer.com slash wash. That's busyhardseltzer.com slash wash. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash wash. Must be 21 or older. Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend? Well, apparently Dave wants you to start this week.

No, no, no. You go. Okay. Be the first. I have some very exciting personal news to share. I am now an uncle. Wow. You're like your D, dude.

I know. Well, I alluded to this a while back. Some big news was coming. This was what I was referring to. My sister, and not to make it all sad, but they've gone through a lot to get to this point. They've years of trying, and finally it happened and got a new little niece in the mix. Her name is Quinn. What?

All-star name. She was born late last night. I stayed up late waiting for the news, and it finally dropped around 11, 15 last night, I think. Yeah, Rhodes was asking about her. I was like, dude, chill out. Chill, dog. So Quinn is here. Go get your boy, dog.

I'm extremely happy about it. It's very, very, very exciting. And I hope to meet Quinn. So they get back from the hot. They go home tomorrow. And let them settle in. Hopefully they'll be wanting visitors. From the hot seat. Yes. Hopefully they'll be wanting visitors sometime this weekend.

I will have parks on Friday. I'm hoping Friday's the day that I can go meet the new little babe in the family. I can't wait. I'm so excited. Show up with a hard seltzer with Osirola. Call that a visitor. Okay. I probably won't bring a Vizzy, but

that was pretty good. Yeah. As someone who's trying to be like workshopping names for kids, like Quinn's a good one. Quinn's a good name. That didn't even make our list, and I'm like, oh man, that's a good one. Quinn Ross Simmons is her name. Ooh, I like that. It's good. Ross is a family name. Named after a noted New York Times bestselling author,

Ross Boland? No, it's a... Was it after my dad? Believe it or not, it's a family name on their side. Oh, okay. Just say your niece

is named after my dad. I can't. In good faith, I can't do that. Let me be the first to congratulate you on becoming an uncle. Well, I'll pass that along to...

No, no, no. I'm correct. You first. Oh, thank you. Also, congratulations to them and Quinn. Welcome to the world. Oh, thank you. Also, congratulations to them and Quinn. Welcome to the world. Yes.

Big time. Big moment for the family. This has been a long time coming. Yeah. It feels good. It feels real good. And that's all I really have this weekend. Nothing else.

You could be on The Bachelor now that you're an uncle. They really like having uncles on the show. You're the Luke P of this podcast now. You are. Should I lead with the fact that I'm a father or that I'm an uncle? They like the uncle card. They like the uncle. I'll try that. That's all I have, really. You know,

life is good, man. Life is good. Got red bottoms on. You're literally wearing Lou Bootens right now. I know. I know. Yeah, I wanted to stunt a little bit today. I'm just going to be hanging out throwing that ass in a circle. Really? All weekend going to be hanging out throwing that ass in a circle. Really?

All weekend long. Sheesh. Where are you throwing that ass in a circle? Oh, yeah, I'm going back up. It's Easter weekend. Oh, you're going back? You're going back to the Big D? Oh, yeah, I forgot my Easter plans.

Oh, yeah, I won't be here tomorrow. Sorry. I'm kidding. Where are you going at Feaster? Okay. Because you're just going to go off at brunch? Yes. Good job.

Good job. Easter. Yeah, we're doing a little family thing for Easter. A little Feaster, a little Keister. A little Easter egg hunt for the young one. Sheesh. Sheesh. So you're throwing your ass in a circle this weekend.

Those are your plans. You're going to go up to your parents' house and throw your ass in a circle. I forgot about that aspect. Yeah, I don't know. How are your parents going to react when you're just in the living room just throwing your ass in a circle while the Final Four is playing in the background. Be watching that. We've got some local ties.

We've got two Texas teams. We've got Baylor. Of course, everyone knows I've married into a Baylor family, and I'm a t-shirt Baylor fan, although very, very subtle about it. U of H, it's a cool story too. Houston. Oh, that's what the H stands for? If you guys like what I just said, that U of H, it's a cool story too. Houston. Oh, that's what the H stands for? If you guys like what I just said, that kind of analysis,

check out Too Much Dip Podcast. Who are you guys pulling for? You're pulling for Baylor. Who are you pulling for? U of H. Shout out to all my Bruins out there. I don't really have much love for Baylor. U of H either.

Nobody likes you. I'm a UCLA boy. They knocked my Wolverines out, so I got to ride that bandwagon. Okay. That's big of you. I don't really care who wins. I'll put it that way. I just hope everybody has fun and good games.

If you ever saw eighth grade me after being on the golf course, you'd see me wearing a UCLA hat for some reason. That's just what I wore on the golf course every day in middle school. It's a swag hat. I loved it. UCLA has got prestigious vibes. Good colors. Good-looking people go to that school. we went to the campus when we were on spring break and i was like dad i just want to get a hat let me get a hat yeah and a lady asked me one time she was like do

you go there i was like i'm an eighth grade lady figure it out like no i just got a scully offered i might choose it i don't know i'm waiting on see what else happens might go to dartmouth instead yeah do stem i got a stem scully didn't you say you're trying to put some darts to mouths this I might choose it. I don't know. I'm waiting on to see what else happens. Might go to Dartmouth instead. Yeah. Do STEM. I got a STEM. Scali. Didn't you say you were trying to put some darts to mouths this weekend? Wow. Yeah.

I saw a guy on the way in just ripping a heater with the window up. Don't smoke your cigarettes around your knees. I'm going to smoke a lot of cigarettes this weekend. Dude, I got a big weekend. Are you guys ready for what I'm doing this weekend? Write that down. It's about to be loco. Let's go.

Dude, not to brag, but this weekend i'm setting up a nursery not the one not one outside that has plants and stuff i'm talking about the one that has like like a crib in it and stuff that's very cool i might crib walk do an episode of cribs yeah uh our current nursery looks like it's a storage facility for uh people that are shopping for a nursery and so i think i need to remedy that this weekend like it's a storage facility for people that are shopping for a nursery. And so I think I need to remedy that this weekend because it's getting into that time. Yeah, you will accumulate a lot of boxes over the next two months if you haven't already. It's insane how many.

I tear down one Amazon box and another one arrives five seconds later. Dude, getting more box than Dylan. Dude, seriously. So many boxes. They're just at my apartment at all times. It's crazy. Are you even ordering a lot lately? A lot of presents for your niece?

Dude, the guy just can't stay off Amazon. I'm sorry, what? Hmm? Besos. Get back to your stupid weekend nobody cares about. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. I think I might link and build with Mike on Friday. Mike has been doing four-day work weeks,

and he has a possession of mine that I need back, and so I think we're just going to link up. I'm going to make him go to Hula Hut or something and drink a beer with me and maybe have a quesadilla. Hey, I want to link on Saturday. I don't know. It's for the boys, though. You have a niece now.

You kind of understand why I might not text you. You can't bring your niece. Yeah, I know that. I know. You can't bring your five-day-old niece to hula hut. Yeah, don't bring a five-day-old to hula hut. She won't be with me. She won't be impressed by the food. You can't have her first meal,

like real food meal, be hula hut. Dude, I don't know. Their quesadillas hit. Homemade tortillas? The pipeline. Dude, the pipeline taco. Are you kidding me? Let's fucking go. Pipeline enchilada. I'm sorry. Yeah, the tubular taco. Tubular taco. Pipeline enchiladas. Is that made. Yeah, the tubular taco. Tubular taco. Pipeline enchiladas. Is that made with tube steak?

Yeah. You've got to think it is. It's slow cooked. They boil it. They do it in a sous vide. All right. There's something else. I don't have anything else going on this weekend. And it's because I've been lectured numerous times by numerous people that I need to get this nursery up.

So it looks like I'm in. Is one of them Sally? Yeah, you've got to think her name's the top of the list of people grilling me about setting up this nursery. I've got a tea time with Flounder. Really? Saturday morning. Really? I'm jealous.

Sally's on my shit list right now. Don't. Be careful, Dylan. I'm not scared of her. Actually, I could. I'm scared shitless of her. I mean, she's not on mine. I stan a pregnant queen.

Thank you. I typically do, but right now she's on me. You're reserving the right to re-stan, but you're un-stanning right now. For the moment. A momentary un-stan. Is that it? Do we have anything else going on? How long did this go?

This is so long. This is like our first collectively hungover episode. I know Dave didn't drink last night, but you did eat chilies. I'm just dragging ass, man. I have no energy. Dude, we're about to hit 116 on this. No one's doing that on a Wednesday. It's hump day.

Shush, shush, shush. You dig? Shall we get out of here? It's been real. It's been fun. It's been special. Bye. Bye.

Bye.