Circling Back - Real or Fake Fireworks & Boa Snussies

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

Mentally, we're on vacation. Just kidding, we brought it today for anyone stuck in the office. Real or Fake: Fireworks Edition, looking back on Will's egging, the Brazilian boa constrictor that straight-up had 14 babies out of nowhere, a dude named Tristian who we need to break free from the friend zone, and This 4th of July in Fun. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:15) Real or Fake Fireworks (41:28) Will Still Can’t Stop Thinking About Getting Egged (52:45) Boa Constrictor Immaculate Conception (1:00:30) Friendzoned Tristian (1:05:00) This 4th of July in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Twillory: www.twillory.com (WASHED18 for $18 off purchase of $139 or more) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com/circlingback (4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale with code CIRCLINGBACK) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I just like don't want to work today. I just like just want to sit at like the pool and like have an Aperol. I used up my PTO for tristan's 25th like i didn't take any pto today and so i'm just gonna like sit on my laptop and i'm just gonna say i mentally i'm already on vacation yeah i had two negronis last night and I didn't know when I got on holiday. Oh my God. I texted Travis. I texted Travis again.

He's such an asshole. July 3rd. Such an asshole. They should just make this whole week a national holiday. I do miss it. Europeans get it. Did you see

what Greece is doing? What's up with Greece, dog? They can't do that shit what's up with greece dude greece is fumbling the bag it's not a way to get your economy back and back in order like hurts no one like six day work week are we doing that literally no one's doing that that's so much work week we need to bring PGP back, but just do it for Greece. Most of Europe's like a three-day work week. That would be a great time to release the Rage Against the Copy Machine shirts. When I say we sold single digit, I'm not exaggerating. No one bought that shirt.

Yeah, but numerous girlfriends of people that worked at Grand X wear it to sleep every night. That's got to feel good. Rage Against the Copy Machine. I mean, it has legs. That was my my idea maybe it was ahead of its time honestly like i'm not mad about it yeah do you still have one the concept is good i don't have one anymore i wish i did it was a good shirt and it was on comfort colors we don't i do not have one if anyone has a rage against the copy machine shirt please please let us know no one listening has that shirt i don't know we got a tweet yesterday

from someone wearing a gardener snake dave shirt true yeah but that's a circling back bit true raging against the copy machine it's a it's over a decade old it hasn't been available for yeah for 10 years yeah the box of t-shirts was already underneath the ping pong table when i started my tenure at grand x that's not that's not where you want your shirts to end up or with the other one we were gonna before touching bass in that same launch of pgp shirts before we even thought about doing podcasts before maybe before you were hired dylan it's like early uh there was a touching bass idea for a shirt and it was just a hand touching a bass guitar and it's gonna say touching pace oh my god dude that is so let's make that that is so corny let's make that so it was so bad what is there anything like honest question

so there's this like there's there's always the deadheads who are like oh I saw Jerry there's there's always the deadheads who are like oh i saw jerry cool like should we just sell a shirt that says like i listen to touching base can we can we put touching base on merch at this point has it entered the public domain no one's gonna come for us let's start let's do some old school touching base shit like i feel i want them i want a vintage touching tee. Can we just rename the podcast Touching Base? Is it too late? Why don't we just have Micah in like once a week for a Touching Base episode and then we have Randy in for the rest of them? That Instagram account is really good if you like looking at Micah memes. Yeah.

He's pretty much like half the things on there. Sometimes I'll go back and I'll be like, I got like a new phone a few years ago and it deleted all my previous photos. And I'm sure I can find them somewhere. But sometimes to find old photos, I have to go back to the touching base feed. And it's so hard to find non-ridiculous meme photos. The most recent post is just me and Micah photoshopped to have. Got the Eddie's there?

Yeah. It's always Micah doing this face. Yeah. It's some like stupid face no it's the one it's because it's the one from when he did uh chump to champ and it was like the professional photo shoot and it was definitely an easy one to use for pretty much anything i feel like uh intern payton was in her bag yeah at that point in time oh yeah oh yeah oh here's a hot a hot jared post we did remember hot jared oh yeah that guy was hot yeah a hot Jared post we did. Remember hot Jared? Oh, yeah. That guy was hot.

Yeah. So hot. I wonder if he's still hot. There's also hot big cat. That's not going to convince J-Bone to work out. Nothing's going to because he could look like this guy. Yeah, he could look exactly like that guy. If he just lived in the gym. But jeans also play.

Sure. His arms need a lot of work. Yeah. No offense. There's not very many people in the world who i think i'm armed twins with but jay vote and i are damn close damn close oh man good stuff i don't know you can intro me i haven't literally got nothing i haven't even said i haven't said my name i haven't said dave's name. I haven't said your name. It was what they call a cold open.

When we run out of material, might as well intro Dylan. That's what I always say. Is your Twitter feed really shoehorning Kamala stuff to you? No. I feel like the algo is like trying to normalize Kamala as being a presidential candidate. For real? Yeah. I mean, if –

I hate to say it. Dave's on drudge right now. He says it's her party now it's just a picture of her i hate to even go there but if biden wins kamala might have to step in at some point what do you mean neither of y'all watched v specifically i mean like he could pass away from old age get sick and pass away yeah yeah not that i want that of course i don't oh i don't oh anyway did that do we miss something here what is that like just making sure i didn't miss something that cobble is not president no but just oh yeah they're really pushing the rest

in peace uh arch manning dude that one hit me yesterday archie what the hell yeah dude like just rip dude when someone dropped that into our text group I was like oh my god Archie died I had to go to Twitter to actually get the real the real scoop you could have just read the headline I did it I had to read it three times to figure out he wasn't dead I mean what like did it read like they forgot a word that said is dead at 75 it's like the uh dwight shrewd it is your birthday like dave can i can i do a death tweet on your 40th birthday yeah that makes it sound like you might have died as well okay inside at least hey did you uh ever have a teacher in like elementary school who would hand out a quiz or a test and they would put something at the very end of the directions that would tell you do not answer

number skip questions five through eight or something to see if you've read the whole thing to make sure you read the entire directions yeah and it was like a learning moment for you like that's kind of what they did to us yeah it's a teaching moment for dipshits like us yeah dave ruff podcaster married with you know two children were y'all good testers when i applied myself like what was y'all's multiple choice strategy when you didn't know the answer? Because I feel like that separated people from being like mediocre testers like me to being good testers. Like Sally is very good at figuring out multiple choice

where I just drowned. I call it multiple guess, right? Like, oh, I haven't chosen B in a while. Yeah. I'm going to go with B. But that's never the move. Like I'm like, oh dude, I put A for that one, which was probably wrong. Like, oh, well they wouldn't have two A's in a while yeah i'm gonna go b but that's never the move like i'm like oh dude i put a for that one which was probably wrong like oh well they wouldn't have two a's in a row because a's

the first choice like and like the way that i do it is not the way that you should be doing it or like you're the answer you get is 14 and then there's no 14 on there but there's a 12 it's like it's close enough fuck it i'm just gonna go with 12 let's ball and it's definitely not the answer yeah i i just i never had that sauce just no sauce man i'm a dumb fuck in more ways than what that's true how are the dumb fucks doing you know seem to be doing well just kicking it i reposted a clip from the dumb zone on washed media they're starting to love us you think so they're starting to love coming around so yeah i was on the reddit the other day and i wanted to see if there's any more chatter about us and so i went to their reddit and i typed in washed and there was another

thread and it was like hey did the guys ever talk about that episode and everyone in the comments was like they're dude they're warming up to they're gonna fucking love us they're converting that's what happens man you hate us then you start to hate us a little less what are they called dumb fuck backer fox or something uh a dumb back circle fucker dumb back circle fucker yeah it's not the most catchy name i think it is dumb back circle fucker i always remember which order they go in dbcf yeah defensive back center fielder do we have any at the meetup i bet we did i don't know how's what kind of chicago numbers does dumb zone do uh they probably do okay i feel like it's not their bread and butter right you know what the midwest is not a cowboy young and restless unless you're randy

randy were you rocking boots when you were living up there or did you not get become a boot guy till you came down here i bought my first pair of boots within you were living up there, or did you not become a boot guy until you came down here? I bought my first pair of boots within 24 hours living in Texas. I had a pair before that. Snow boots. Was that intentional, or were you just like, what time of year did you move down to Texas? We have just passed up my six-year anniversary.

It was when we were in Chicago. Oh, okay. So June 29th. Wow. Full circle moment there. Yeah. Full circle moment. It's like six years ago i was leaving this this uh this city no one tried to get hired at the last meetup and i'm one for

one with people trying to get hired at meetups and figuring out a way you know so someone in our subreddit said it's very funny that they think people around the country are just casually walking around in cowboy boots. Not really casually. Exactly what I said. I said not casually. I wore mine out to events. Bro. It's not like I'm going to the breakfast buffet in my ostrich.

I did fly in them, but that was just a packing play. Right. A packing play. Why would you – yeah, were you sleeping in a separate bed from Dylan? I slept in the packing play. That's a new dad joke. It's crazy. It turns out I had plenty of room,

but I was like, you know what? I don't have to take them off. I'm just gonna fly in them. Actually, should I bring boots on vacation with me and do them in our family photos? They didn't really pan out in the last family photos, I'll say. The pants that I wore were a shred too short,

and I would have accepted criticism of the photos if someone heaved it my way. I will say. The pants that I wore were a shred too short and I would have accepted criticism of the photos if someone heaved it my way. I will say, walking around Houston, tons of people are wearing boots just casually. Texas is, I mean,

it's a whole different beast, but I'm trying to think, like, no one wore cowboy boots in Michigan. People had, like, people probably had Toccova's-esque boots, but not the cowboy version.

They had, like, the workwear version or whatever. Yeah. I love my boots. I love these boots. Can I get some official business out of the way? Yesterday was an absolutely electric cold call.

We had three non-answers yesterday. We did hit one person back because we're real ones. If you did miss the call, reach out. Maybe we can prioritize you and you can apologize to us on our next one. If I had to guess, next week we'll probably be doing

exactly five minutes with the following week being another cold call and then the final week of July or final Tuesday of July we will be doing a little something we like to call Do You Know It? A Game Show Podcast.

Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Free seven-day trial for all new patrons. Go make it happen. If you want to leave a listener voicemail, 888-618-4422. Again, 888-618-4422. Again, you can get out and be tactical. Washed.substack.com.

Weekly newsletter. Go sign up. And finally, YouTube.com slash circlingback as well as YouTube.com weekly newsletter. Go sign up. And finally, youtube.com slash circling back as well as youtube.com slash wash media. Go subscribe to both of those. We got Dylan's Trackhouse. We got all episodes of this on video.

We also have bear shirts available at washmedia.shop. Bear's never been more top of mind. What's everyone's first impression of the season? I'm four episodes in. I'm pretty lukewarm on it, but I'm willing to get hotter. i really like it okay um episode six is potentially a top two of the entire series i think what's your number what's your what what's the

other one that's owned in real estate seven fishes i like well my top three my top two seven seven fishes is um number two number one is force seven fishes is the best episode of tv that i never want to watch again nah seven fishes for me is probably my least favorite episode of the entire series really just hated it hated every second of it super intense didn't love it it's just a well done episode of tv give me forks it's a little un it's a little unka jams unka jams very unka jams very unka jams? It's very Uncajams. It's the Uncajams. It's very Uncajams. Jamie Lee Curtis absolutely crushed it. I was super impressed.

Gibby Forks is my favorite episode. I also very much enjoyed the episode where he goes to Copenhagen. Oh, yeah. No, I think, so you've got five and six. I think you're going to enjoy both of those episodes. I'm not slow playing it, but I have found it more difficult to uh sorry dave

binge watch it uh this season as it's just a lot it's just a lot i'm like i've got no puns so you're gonna know i'm gonna binge i'm just gonna i like i don't like i i think i have covid so i'm just gonna like binge you got the flirt i think i have the flirty barrier travis had a little cough last night wait he came over i thought you just texted him he came over you little slut fuck yeah you lie do it he kissed me through the phone you promised that you weren't gonna get covid like he kissed me through the phone he's so unhealthy for you i slept with travis la la through the phone or like no she got coveted from him let's hear for our friends over at twillery meet twillery the

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order of $139 or more at Twillery.com. Can we do a theme song for this next segment? Oh, yeah. You do the eagle. Oh, my God. No. What the fuck was that? How do you do the eagle. Gah! Oh my God. No. What the fuck was that?

You do an eagle. How do you do an eagle? Dude, you know I have a sore throat right now. I almost called in sick today. Dude, you're going to ask me to do an eagle? That wasn't it. That was terrible. Yours was a little...

Yours was kind of... Gah! Yours was kind of queefy. Dude, no, but you... Yeah, it was queefy. Queefy? It was queefy. It was queefy.

What the queefy? Oh my God. The queefy eagle. That'd was queefy it was queefy the queefy eagle that'd be a dope bar dude i i despise what you're doing can i get randy's randy's eagle that was good will that was much better okay all right one more for me okay all right i don't know man what if eagles just did the t-man what's everyone's favorite uh american song who i sort of like them all okay that doesn't help here i'm gonna play on my on my on my trumpet i will play uh – or I'll play God Bless America while you do the eagle thing and then we'll intro Dave's segment with it.

Okay. Ka! Ka-ka! Ka! Dumb fuck's going to love that one. Dude, the dumb fuck's going to love it. That was actually kind of good from Will. And from Dylan.

Dude, I got that verbal kazoo on lock. That's pretty good. What are we doing here, Dave? You tell me. I don't know. What does that mean? What's that intro? Oh, it could only mean one thing.

It's real or fake. Fireworks. Fireworks. Fireworks. Fireworks. What's the one that they play in the Sandlot during the fourth fireworks? Is it America the Beautiful, Ray Charles? That sounds right.

That's a really good- Ray Charles. Maybe Sandlot's the move tonight on 3rd of July with the boys. Damn, player. They got themselves into quite a pickle oh yeah bud that's maybe that movie never made me get out and play baseball dude benny hit the guts out of that ball at no point watching sandlot was like i gotta go play baseball

i should have okay watching mighty ducks i was like get me out on the pavement right now our sandlot was different because we played with aluminum bats and we would hit tennis balls. And you could just fucking hit a tennis ball like 200 yards. There's nothing that feels better than hitting a baseball or a tennis ball with an aluminum bat.

It's just the best. It's fun. No, you can't actually hit a tennis ball. It actually doesn't go very far. It doesn't go that far. This motherfucker's never barreled up on a tennis ball in a show. You can hit a baseball much farther than you can hit a tennis ball with a baseball.

I could hit a tennis ball over the green monster if I wanted to. You could not. I could, dude. Easily. I saw one in the cages. I always had daydreams about taking BP at a big league park, but with a golf ball. And just seeing, like, hitting it out of the stadium. It blows my mind when people hit golf shots in baseball stadiums.

I'm like, okay. Dude, yes. It's just, it wrecks my brain didn't you have daydreams of having dp yeah you always say you want to do dp at a baseball park how many times do you how many times do you are in a football field like at a football game and you're like i can't believe i can hit like all the time like a 54 degree from the end zone the first and last thing i think of yeah i'm like yeah it's what? It also makes me think that kickers need to be able to kick longer. Yeah.

I'm surprised there's not one kicker who can just kick at 90, like hit a 90-yard field goal. There's not one dude that's just the leg. Third leg Greg. There's not some dude in Nepal who can just beat the piss out of the ball. All right, hold on. Why Nepal? I mean, they can't kick it that far for like kickoff.

No, they can't. 90 yards? They can't get very far, but you got to – I'm talking accuracy through the uprights. I want to be the Nepalese kicker. Isn't it 70 yards to get it from the kickoff to the end zone? It's on the 30, isn't it? It depends on elevation, altitude.

Well, yeah, but I'm just saying. The length of the football field doesn't depend on elevation. It's just standard. No, but you have to factor in like the inches. I think it's on the 30, yeah. 30 to the end zone is 70. What did you just look up? Traditional Nepalese names.

Naturally. Yeah. That's where we go from here these are these are the female names david okay while i'm not opposed to having a nepalese um kicker that is female why would you be opposed to i do think i do think it's more likely that a male kicker would make the NFL. Oh, wow. Okay. Interesting take from Will. Huh? I disagree. Okay. Man, how about those fireworks? He's just looking up.

He's on mom junction. Yeah, dude. How did we get here? Uh, what we do here is, uh, I wrote out some fake fireworks and i went did a little research

i've been working on this for weeks uh i did some research and found some humorously named or interestingly named of fireworks that are real and the guys here uh they're gonna have to guess and whoever loses um just straight up they're not getting paid for the next three months straight up yeah straight up yeah straight up uh here we go you guys know the name of the game real or fake let's start are you ready you're over there fucking around on mom junction why do you have the case of the fuck arounds right now i'm i'm i'm so dialed in if you're already on vacation you can go oh my god it's like i'm gonna get nothing done today the first one i'm not looking at dave's screen i can't see it okay we did not looking at dave's screen now i think you are i'm not you brought it up i'm not

my eyes are closed show me your kitties stop that's the horniest that would be uh show me your i need i need to put my hand up. I don't know fireworks that well, like the names of them and stuff like that. Thanks for being honest about that. So I don't have any reference points here. Show me your kitties. That's got to be a real one

because why would you make up show me your kitties? I don't know. We were just kind of talking about cats before the show, weren't we? No. Is this like a... We weren't talking about kitties? Oh, yeah.

Is this like a... What kind of play is this? By the way, for those who wonder what happened... Is this like a about kiddos is this like a what kind of play is this by the way for those who wonder what show me your titties play what happened to kiddums kiddos passed away someone lived a great life natural causes she was yeah she was an old old cat man she was a cool cat though she was a real cool she was actually a total b man trying to bite me and sally asked me this morning if we could get a kitten sally puts off just shows up with a kitten i told her absolutely not no she's showing up with that totally absolutely not you guys are getting a

cat i'm going real show me your kitties is real randy please present that to the audience did dylan even say what he wanted i said fake wow hey dylan show me your kitties that's so unnecessary it's an exciting 18 shot cake featuring gold palm tail to orange sky wow that's something i bet whatever that is it's real cool it's a horny play who like what graphic designer put this together was like crushed it done those are ai cats if i've ever seen one thing i've noticed is most of the design work is real bad on these fireworks not a lot of detail the cats look so amazed at the fireworks yeah like holy shit can you believe next one so wait what's the score keep the score randy in your head okay you kill is up 1-0 on Dylan, who is breaking it. Next one.

9-11. Come on, man. You can't do that. You can't do that. That's fake. I'm going real. That's fake. I'm going real. That's fake. I figured there...

I just figured there'd be one company out there that's like, no, we're doing a 9-11 tribute. It's happening. It's not a tribute. You haven't seen what it could look like. However... Tributes are celebratory. 9-1- 911 is real.

So it's all a matter of perspective. The hyphen does a lot of work. You're going to have to get the emergency. Yeah, that hyphen is carrying the load. Yeah. It's doing a lot. Next up, foreign policymaker. Okay.

That's good. Okay. Okay. If I saw that in a store, I would buy it. I'm going to go real. I'm going to go fake. I think Dave was proud that he came up with that one. Foreign Policymaker is real.

You're going to notice a theme with the firework names. Okay. Are they all? Okay. I want to ask questions. I might have tipped my hand there, but. It's okay. Yeah.

Foreign Policymaker. I tipped my glass there, but... It's okay. Yeah. Foreign policymaker. I tipped my glass to girls with class. Hey, Mike, get the foreign policymaker out there for the finale. I thought we got three foreign policymakers. We only got two over here. The grand finale. Don't tell me you done left it. They sell out.

That's good. That's real good. Let's go, Brandon. Real. good. That's real good. Let's go Brandon. Real. If it's not real. If you can't find it online, I can go down out Pecos way and go find one for you. If that's not real, I'll be really nice. Let's go Brandon is real.

Yeah. Do we have a photo of this one? Yes. Yes, we do. You know, I kind of had a hunch that it would be out there did you have to search for let's go that's okay i mean that's exactly what i thought it would look like that's awesome that's that's great branding oh it's got the crown tail rising effect with silver spider brakes oh my god then colorful stars that's wild dude yeah what do you do okay i guess you can

watch it too yeah let's watch it so let's go Brandon let's check out this let's go Brandon oh it's got the 3D label it's a Jake's exclusive

that's impressive none of that liberal bullshit that's decent our son got too close to the let's go Brandon and it done popped near him uh huh our neighbors keep

complaining about the fireworks and their dogs don't like it but I got news for them and so many people are losing fingers this week it's gonna be tough our neighbors keep complaining about the fireworks and their dogs don't like it but i got news for them and so many people are losing fingers this this week it's gonna be tough don't make it be you dude it's don't make it be you it's not gonna both get that right yeah yeah okay uh next huge hog huge hog huge hog

uh that's fake but i wish but i wish it were real you know those boys are out back they got the huge huge hogs at each other i told them you want to use is gonna lose an eye i'd like to i'd like to do fire a huge hog at someone but i'm gonna go fake too yeah huge hog is fake this was more of a me matching dylan play so i don't think it was real you thought huge hog was real or do you know it was fake i said fake oh yeah i said oh i'm all good i'm behind i'm behind will by one okay well maybe this will help thor's hammer cock come on man i just don't think thor's hammer cock is real hammer cock like i think that's got to be fake i just don't see them printing the word cock on a on a firework i did look maybe there's maybe there's a rooster on the label

i'm gonna go you know what let's get crazy i'm going real i'm going fake even though i'm pretty sure it's fake telling you silly bitch why would that be real i don't know it's so weird that you would think that's real tell me it's real no it's fake oh fuck i think thor's hammer cock is that printing no i didn't think it but i wanted it to be real i mean thor just an absolutely jacked rooster there's got to be a rooster out there named Thor. Absolutely. Right? Yeah. Okay. I just looked up swole rooster. Okay.

Show of force. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I think show of force could be real. I think it's real. I'm going real. Show of force could be real. I think it's real. I'm going real. Show of force.

Show of force is a real firework. Show of force is real. Yeah. The Venn diagram of pre-workout and fireworks, it's... They're the same thing. There's some, yeah. There's some crossover there. What the fuck? That is a huge rooster.

They've come to snuff it. That's a lot of rooster right there. Look at that thing. I'm showing you guys the big rooster. It's pretty much a turkey at that point. Andy, come on. So they... They've overfed that thing for cockfighting purposes, right?

That thing was born to be in the ring. Yeah. That thing... It's the Goliath of cockf it's it's the goliath of cockfight that's the girth master yeah cockfighting is you've never been to a cockfight dude i would go but i would feel really bad about being i've only been to one and i was you've been a while i was in second grade that's that's too young excuse me it was in a restaurant we were in mexico for spring break did they have like the blades on their talons and shit?

I don't remember, but I don't think so. They probably had like the rubber things. Honestly, looking back on it, it was probably one of those things where they just got two chickens and like put them together. And like they didn't fight to the death. It was in a – I don't think it was a family restaurant necessarily, but it was like a late night restaurant in Mexico. And suddenly we saw a bunch of people gathering in a circle and they put some

chickens in the middle and we were just I was like okay I remember being very scared because the like just I didn't want to get my eyes packed out yeah I get that fear shot I can't cool damn my parents gave me a disposable camera on that trip they're different when they developed the uh the film from that disposable camera, I had taken photos of exactly two different things on the resort. Any guesses? My parents were not happy about this. Was one of them a babe on the beach?

One of the items that I would photograph was just trash cans around the pool. That's good. I like that. And then the other one was topless women on the beach. That's good pool that's good i like that and then the other one was uh topless women on the beach that's good that's good stuff can you imagine second grade me walking up with a like a disposable camera and just clicking you and walking away my parents were like what horny little will man what's your deal i get it though did they let you keep the pictures after they were developed uh i'm sure they were kept somewhere probably not by me that's good there's no way they were good you know they could have been you know i'm nice with it

sleepy joe yes okay i want it to be real i want joe i want joe biden themed fireworks i want to say fake because it's not a good name for a firework it's like this seems like lame and sleepy does trump have his own fireworks like can you like is there a store that sells like trump fireworks that could then benefit his campaign i don't know it's a good idea i'm going fake randy come on come on sleepy joe sleepy joe is real will is running away with Randy. Come on. Come on. Sleepy Joe. Sleepy Joe is real. Will is running away with this right now. No, no. You're up three, I think.

I don't think I am. You said real? Yeah. Zoom in on that. It doesn't even look like Joe, does it? The Sleepy Joe. It's kind of like a Simpsons Joe. They spelled Joe wrong.

Yeah, it is very Simpsons-y. Oh, no, no. The E is just kind of hidden there. Okay. 129 shots. Look look at him dude it's 125 more than dylan needs his head's exploding wait so wait the fireworks in this particular graphic are coming out of the top of his head yeah which if he's that sleepy i wouldn't be able to sleep the fireworks are coming out of my head this is just kind of a fountain okay it's It's very sleepy. Hold on.

It's waking up. Okay. It's waking up a little bit. We got some action. It's pretty weak. It's about to pop off. Watch. Nah. Oh, you thought it was over?

I don't think so. It's a very run-of-the-mill firework. It's much better. That's pretty sick. Take it back. Take it back. The sleepy Joe.

It got that much better. Is it because it goes to sleep and then wakes back up i don't know that's what happened he just falls asleep man that's what old people do hey man hey man why are you naming fireworks after just a little nap man this will knock you off your bike okay that's mean yeah do you think the concussions he's gotten from falling off bikes has affected his mental state i forgot about the bike thing yeah love that video it's an all-time bit he falls out of frame of the camera it's so it's lucky for him dude it's cartoonish he's he's he's so lucky that

he's not in frame for that fall taco tuesday it's less a while come on man i don't know i feel like i feel like a majority of the people that are producing fireworks don't like mexican food because they're racist everyone likes mexican food i think i yeah i think it transcends i'm gonna go real the most hardened racist i'll enjoy mexican food i'm going fake well we win i'm going real do you go fake i love the mexicans try they love me too trump tower uh talk of tuesday is real for some reason i don't really know why remember that video he's he's staring across the border and they're they're like looking back at him. He's like, look, they love Trump.

They're like, I don't know, man. I don't think I feel like. You're actually trying to keep them out of here. Hang on. I got to send this to Randy. Dude, it's kind of a. Did you want to say real or fake? I said fake.

I said real. Dylan said real. This is actually pretty legit. I think I would buy this if I was out of place. This might be the best. Arguably, ooh, this one. Yeah, this one does kind of skew. I would buy this if this might be the best arguably oh this one yeah this one does kind of skew i would i would buy this one i mean it's just a tightly packed taco with fireworks does it spray

out of everywhere i guess we're gonna see the video i really don't know play the taco tuesday video the graphics are really toeing the line yeah they love trump oh my god taco tuesday i mean oh yeah see i'd see this is a good purchase that's a good purchase right there youtube.com circling back if you want to see the fireworks by the way it's pretty badass that's lit literally well is there more like is that all it does oh here we go yeah now we're cooking okay it's not it's not it's not the best but it is fun that it sprays out in a half circle It's a fountain Hard flames to fountain Okay it's fine

Oh that's a fiesta That's a taco Tuesday if I've ever seen one Here comes the fiesta Okay yeah That's the grand finale Okay Alright Hit us

Couple more here. All trumped up. Yeah, real. All trumped up. I'm going to go fake just for the sake of catching Will. I got to gain one on him here. I'm going to go fake. I got bad news for you.

You're not going to catch Will. That's real. Show us that all trumped up oh man you said it to me i did i think nope oh i didn't well um i'm i don't know what it does per se but you'd think if they'd have a trump one if they had one that just shot orange shit that would be uh the move i don't know just orange man just total orange man play i just sent it to you randy yeah all trumped up i was actually i was disappointed by the lack of trump specific ones yeah that's a bummer that's a bummer i think maybe those ones the one the places that will have those they don't have websites it's like the ones that you find that are probably not permitted to operate. Like some Joe Dirt ones?

Oh, yeah. He's playing WACA policy. Yeah. That's always what you want. That is always what you want. And... Oh. That one goes off.

That's pretty sick. Yeah, that one's good. By the way, fireworks are expensive. They are expensive, man. Are they? Yeah. Yeah. I haven't bought any in a while.

Usually, I'm just along for the ride. Are we allowed to do fireworks 4th of July in our backyards? Technically, no. Get away with it. No one does anything about it. Yeah. Exactly. I don't want anything crazy.

I'm not trying to go aerial with it. I just would like to get something to make my make my sons like oh too many people do them around the city that they can't they can't yeah you know yeah i don't know i freak with fireworks what's your favorite firework when you're watching y'all have favorite fireworks i don't have a favorite fire are you talking about like at a city show or like just your buddies but no no like like you're at a professional show like what do you like to see in the air do you like it when they like trail down yeah i love a weeping willow yeah the willows sally sally's a big fan of the willows if all if all the all of them were weeping willows sally would be a very happy person they've made some new weeping willows that last even longer.

Yeah. They'll sparkle at the very end. Yeah. It's like, oh, these things, they're doing some stuff. Power Springs has a great firework show every year. It's pretty impressive what they can do. Over the lake? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they take a big barge out on the lake. Oh, that's cool. And then they have all the fireworks lined up, and then they just have dudes that just run around and do it i've always thought it'd be really fun to be to do that but then there was also there was like a really bad scenario and a couple towns over a few not a few years ago probably maybe 15 or 20 years ago where the fireworks all went off at the same time and was like sprayed at people and it was really bad that's not good everyone kind

of took their foot off the gas after that one i get it man they're dangerous there's always somebody in the neighborhood who's like artillery shell tube tips over ends up like having to run you know i'm talking about a situation like that before i could see rosie running up and just grabbing one while it's lit and just like running around with it just spraying at me there's dude randy's so freaked out by followers. You ever seen the video of the dog that does that? No. I'm going to find it.

Is dog Randy freaked out by other people's fireworks and stuff? Yeah. Is he freaked out by thunder? Yeah. More so by fireworks, though. Thunder, it's like, is there anything you can do? Thunder jacket? I don't know um dog xanax or whatever i wish i had i'm actually i just say that oh hell yeah what do you show it us this is a dog pretty much what you just said

rosie just doing oh for sure dude doing. Oh, for sure, dude. Yeah, exactly. Exactly this. It's like, dude, get away. Oh, that's so dangerous. Yeah. You just got a little wiener dog shooting off Roman candles at your ass? Like, you don't want that.

It's not ideal. Yeah, let him run. That's awesome. Yeah, dude. That's fun, though. Have you ever shot Roman candles at your friends? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's been a while since I've done that. It's been a while. I've done that. It's been a while. Well, Dave. Cyber war. Can I give you guys some honorable mentions? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cyber war. War games.

Lord of War. Pure Venom. Navy Seals. We need a backer to do a Venn diagram of pre-workouts and fireworks i will say the pre-workout branding has like they put more into their images or they just better a graphic design maybe they're have they figured out ai faster than like the rednecks that are making fireworks whoever's doing the firework stuff is really mailing it in brett made some some badass pre-workout ai

yeah logos yeah they were sick it'd be fun to be a graphic designer for something like this is really mailing it in. Brett made some badass pre-workout AI logos. Yeah. They were sick. It'd be fun to be a graphic designer for something like this. Yeah. It's like, whatever. Nothing matters.

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Just go to stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page, and enter code CIRCLINGBACK, all one word. Again, go to stamps.com, click the little microphone at the top of the page, and enter CIRCLINGBACK, all one word. Man, something happened last week that got buried. wrote about it on the wash media newsletter washed.substack.com but i had the realization today that we had yet to talk about on the podcast and it's still

lingering with me because i'm still checking my car every single morning for eggs for eggs should i just give a brief overview of this story? Yeah, please. Okay, I was driving. We were meeting the rowback guys for dinner at Pint House Pizza. This required me to go to the Mopac exit or entrance, whatever you want to call it, by my place. Sun was setting, visibility low.

Not proud of that. I don't text and drive. You guys know that. I'm very adamantly against texting and driving. I never do that. I don't text and drive. You guys know that. I'm very adamantly against texting and driving. I never do that. I'm heads up all times. Was that the four-way stop? Saw a car lurching forward, and I thought to myself, okay, well, I'm going to go.

Turns out I shouldn't have gone. There's a runner sprinting across the intersection. Track star? I don't know if she was a track star but I did not hit her but I startled her she did the hands up like oh my god And I was like, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry for doing that I'm so sorry wait she went between you and the car in front of the other car was turning left From the four-way stop across my path if I was going straight i was turning right so i just had the easy right turn against the curb uh she was running across me directly through the lane that the other people

wanted to get into i felt rattled by it felt bad almost ended this poor girl's life almost killed her didn't know would you have didn't almost kill her no no she would have been fine it would have been a nice little tap happy tap but i was would have felt bad regardless you never want to hit someone with your vehicle sure uh and so as i turned she kept running and i slowed down and i gave her like a i'm like i'm really sorry i did not did not mean to do that and she just looked at me and just totally brushed me off and i thought to to myself, that's fair. That's fair. I understand. Can I interject real quick? You may.

I understand that all pedestrians have the right of way. It's a safety thing. I get it. Standard practice, in my opinion, should be if you are crossing an intersection where cars are present, it is your responsibility to make eye contact with the person in the car. That's what I always do. What if people are shade boys? Just so they know that you're there.

What if they got their stunner shades on? Yeah, and also, what if she was in flow state? Yeah. She could have been in flow state, dude. Shades on. What about that? You can tell when someone's looking at you, though. But can you tell if someone's in flow state?

Something similar happened to me several months ago. I was trying to turn right onto a busy intercept busy street and i was looking at the cars coming there's only one you know from from the direction the traffic flows obviously and finally i had a clear path so i started to roll out and this runner comes right in front of me and i'm like oh shit she could have been a drag star and she's i was i didn't hit the gas yet i just took my foot off the brakes i started to roll and i had to brake quickly so yeah that's what i did i had she absolutely freaked out on me like was super flustered and like tripped over a curb

she was like throwing her arms up i was like i'm sorry like i didn't you know total accident but she knew that i was looking the other way looking at the cars coming and she was she was coming from the total opposite there's no good way to do it you have to you have to make eye contact with me so i know that you're there it's it's tough like whenever i see runners whenever i see a runner like stationary at a stoplight i always register them and i'm like please don't please don't do anything that's like going to be wild ass because there's a lot of cars around in austin texas it always freaks me out a little bit i hit him with like kind of a also yeah yeah the acknowledgement also this was a stop sign so no traffic light there was no crosswalk i mean there was no like light crosswalk but dylan what if she was locked in i i'll be honest

i never saw the girl i never saw the girl running sometimes you're locked from the start i never even saw her running like it just wasn't something I saw. Like she was coming from the other way. Like I just didn't even see her. Smart thing to do is to like go on the behind me. Dude. So there's no danger whatsoever. The entire row back meal, I'm sitting there and I'm just living with it. I'm like, oh man.

Like when I got to the meal, I sat in the car for like three minutes and was just like mad at myself for some reason. Wake up the next morning, Dylan. Walk outside. I have to walk around the back of some reason. Wake up the next morning, Dylan. Walk outside. I have to walk around the back of my car to go to the driver's side. And I noticed that the entire back of my car is covered in eggs. It's so hot outside that the eggs have begun to cook on my bumper. Did you eat them?

I didn't eat them. Why not? I don't know. I could have done it for days. And I was like – That's protein, dog. The first thing that popped in my head was like, dude, this girl egged my car.

Like a day has passed. How close were you to your home when this happened? Very. About two and a half residences away. Would she have seen you back out? I don't think so because she would have had to, she would have had to been sitting at the four-way stop for a very long time in order to watch me back out and pull forward.

Like that would have been way too long for her to be there unless she was actively trying to get hit by me. Can you imagine going to your home, opening your fridge and pulling out eggs to go egg the car down the street because he almost hit you with his car? You know what's sad? I could see myself doing that.

Like, I'm not proud of this, but like, yeah, I can see myself being like, dude, that fucker, that guy almost hit me. I want to do something bad to this guy. Could you deduce whether these were cage-free eggs? No, no. The yolks didn't look particularly large. Little guys.

Yeah, just little Johns. So they might have just been your standard bottom shelf styrofoam container. What color was the shell? The price of eggs these days, too. Yeah, just Little Johns. So they might have just been your standard bottom shelf styrofoam container. Okay. What color was the shell? The price of eggs these days, too. That's so reckless. Someone wasted like $1.50 on you. It's a potentially bleached shell.

Let me actually check. Let me check the stats. I put up a poll in the newsletter to see what percentage of people thought that I might have gotten egged by this girl. 42% said runner. 58 58 said neighborhood riffraff i i'm in the riffraff camp but it's my car like it was only my car in a in a lot with four there's four total cars that park in this little area are there a lot of kids in the streets where you live no don't you have an rfk bumper sticker yeah but the rfk one is next to um the sleepy joe one yeah did you hear that do we have an intruder do we need to fucking kill someone get your gun out get your gun out. Take your gun out.

Oh, okay. Oh. Well, welcome, Brett. Yeah, I mean, it's just too coincidental. You were the only target. What do you have? Do you have a nub's knob still? No, I don't have anything on the back of this car.

The only thing I've received criticism of in this entire situation is keeping the dealer plates on. Yeah, don't do that. Here the thing here's it's not a will to freeze move here's the thing i kept them on intentionally because the people that we bought the car from are the people that we do a nanny share with who own the dealership and so i was like you know what i get it i'm gonna support them a lot of times i go over to their place to go pick up our kids and i don't want to be like i don't want to confront the situation where he's like, oh, take the dealer plates off, eh? I'll give you a deal for keeping those on.

I'm like a little annoyed with everyone who does that. I get it. I get it. And I have considered buying a different one online because I do like a license plate cover. But I kind of want to find like a swaggy one. I bought my car from Park City Volvo. Of course, much worse is the silver emblem that these dealerships will put on the paint of your car. That's bullsh.

That shit straight up pisses me off. It's a status move in Dallas if you have your Park City's XYZ dealer emblem. Before you drive off the lot, you say, if you want to pay me to advertise for you, you can leave that on. Otherwise, get it off. You can just ask them to take it off. It's free advertising. And they just hope that you don't say anything. And most people don't.

Hate it. All right, I'm going to buy a new one today. I'm going to buy one on eBay. You buy a new car today. I don't know. If anybody wants to buy a 2020 Audi, I think I could sell it okay i think it's time i had them take off the dealership emblem and put on a calvin pissing on a ford oh really

yeah i hadn't put that emblem on so it's pretty sick did they have to cover up calvin pissing on the a&m logo yeah that one too dude it's so sick when you take like someone i really liked in my childhood and just make him into a guy that pisses on everything yeah what's his deal like i love i loved calvin and hobbs as a kid and seeing those i was always just like why are you desecrating like this part of my childhood why did they choose calvin man yeah like he's so innocent like i know he's a troublemaker but he's not like he's not evil evil he's just a mischievous pissing on a cheblemaker, but he's not like – he's not evil evil. He's just mischievous.

Pissing on a Chevy logo. Fritz ripped up a Calvin and Hobbes book I bought him the other day. Damn. Can't tell if that means he loved it or hated it. He's destructive. He is kind of destructive. Low key right now, a little bit. Not a big fan of things – anything involving books he's willing to rip apart, including the bookshelf.

I think it's time you get a ring cam. I don't even wear my wedding ring that much i can't put a camera on good point man i'm gonna get a swing cam did you got you got riffraffed someone got you some i got riffraff hoodlums got you yeah if i ever see that girl again running i'm gonna apologize to her again whether she wants me to or not hey did you throw eggs on my car hey hey bitch do you throw eggs on my car can you imagine me saying hey bitch no i would be hey no please don't do that it's your name brie it's just too coincidental how many eggs was it if i had to guess five or six oh so dude what five

or six the photo doesn't accurately accurately capture all of the eggshells because I had thrown some into the street already by the time I had taken the photo. It was one of those anger things where you're like, get this out of here. And then I was like, I should probably take a photo of this. Can I ask you, did she run with like the limp wrists? No, no.

She was – I'm not going to talk about the running style. You're not talking about the running style. it just looks so unathletic raheem sterling this is a soccer player who runs like the old t-rex yeah no he yeah he runs he runs like a velociraptor there's this there's this pretty cute girl who lives in my building i see her on the trail all the time and she has such an unattractive running style it like ruins it for me that's mean the movie Taken

the daughter in Taken runs like she's never run before yeah first day at running school yeah she's just lumbering she goes she kind of goes like that

she's got a little twist yeah she kind of does a little twist but her she doesn't put her hands down ever it's like out here it's not good for long distance

uh uh I don't know maybe it is I just just say she's a track star though she hot like actually i said i'm willing to say cute i'm not willing to say did she go to the olympics yeah she's a track star oh rady do you ever think you'd go to the olympics uh like as a spectator like a runner no oh okay come on man look at him can we talk boa constrictors this guy did you ever have a school record i don't think so yours you don't have it anymore bitch you're third you're in third now bitch no i'm sorry are you really i thought i thought you recently heard that your second place record is now third place yes but my second my first place record for the relay is second place now so relay you depend on other people to carry you though so fourth of the

school record more than you ever had he was anchor though were you anchor no you're a second leg weren't you i was third leg okay greg that's where they put the slowest. Is it? Speaking of third leg, can we talk about Ronaldo, the six-foot Brazilian rainbow boa constrictor? What the fuck are you talking about? I think it goes anchor, first, second. No, anchor, first, second, third. Yeah, I think third's the slowest. Is it the slowest, Randy?

You should know this. No, I think third's the fastest. Third, you have to take the baton and hand off. Anchor's fastest. No, I think third's the fastest. Third, you have to take the baton and hand off. Anchor's fastest. No, I think Randy's the fastest. You got to get a quick start, so that's the second fastest. Randy's the fastest. They put the scrubs in the middle.

I used to carry the baton in my mouth like a dog running with a bone. Maybe more aerodynamic. I don't know. I would just put it out like a cigar, and I'd just be running. You made that sound? That was the sound. That's how I breathe out. Were you pretty just put it out like a cigar, and I'd just be running. You made that sound? That was the sound. That's how I breathe out. Were you pretty good at it?

No. Okay. No, never placed. You didn't make the team at all? No, I actually didn't. This guy won't carry it in his hand. We can't choose him for the— Every year, I'd go out for the team, and every year, they're like,

Ruff, you got to stop putting the baton in your mouth. Weird that you did that. I was like, all right, coach. I'll see you next year. I'd be so afraid of dropping that thing on the handoff. Ruff, dude, you can't keep trying to offer the eighth grade track team. You're 17. I'll see you all right, coach. I'll see you next year. I'd be so afraid of dropping that thing on the handoff. Ruff, dude, you can't keep trying out for the eighth grade track team. You're 17. I'll see you next year, coach.

Don't lose the baton and the lights. No. No. Come on, man. Come on, man. That's what you get for coming at his speed. He was third leg. Ronaldo, a six-foot Brazilian rainbow boa constrictor

kept at his school in England, was thought to be male until the snake gave birth to 14 babies last month. The boa had not had contact with another snake for nearly a decade, so she appears to have undergone a natural process of asexual reproduction called parthenogenesis. The term is derived from the Greek words virgin birth. The school said this is the third documented case of this type of birth that is aware from a Brazilian rainbow boa in captivity.

Can I ask a question? I have a question as well. What's going on with these boa constrictors? I don't know. But, okay okay we hear about this happening there's a snake case we've covered this story with other animals as well i think there was like an octopus or some shit has there ever been a human case of this happening virgin mary have you ever read the bible yeah my brother in christ let me introduce you after mary after

virgin after mary since, has it ever happened? I don't know. I convinced some girl I was dating a while back that it wasn't mine. Wow. I was like, nah. Blocked her number. It wasn't me. Yeah, blocked her.

I think a snake snuck in through the window late at night. You think they're smacking? And rocked Ronaldo's world and then snuck out. Do they rename the snake after over a decade of calling it Ronaldo? Ronaldo? Ronaldo? Yeah, you gotta call him Ronaldo. Hey, y'all. Does this happen in the wild all the time

and we just don't know it because we just assume that there's some mate out there that we haven't seen? I have a stupid, a really stupid question. You've already had a couple. This one might be even dumber.

Let's go. How does a male snake fertilize the eggs with his penis just snakes don't have penises right yeah they do they do it's called the sninas yeah i'm looking it up right now it's not called a sninas david it's called whoa do they have penises for real yeah it's just like another snake and do they have vaginas the females like how's it all you know you have a computer in front of you. Do they have snussies?

I like to talk this out. I like to use your brains with my brain power and figure it out before we go to the internet. Do we ever go anywhere? You don't know the answer to this, do you? No, I don't know the answer to this. Why would I ever know this? Do they lay eggs? Will said the snususie. Do they lay eggs? Will said the snizzuzzi.

Do they lay eggs and then the male will come along and fertilize the egg? The male's sninnus is barbed pointing toward or pointing downwards for smooth insertion. So they have dicks. But while erect, the female's at the mercy of the male. I don't like that wording. Do they go belly to belly when they have sex or doggy style you can't do that snoggy style they go belly to belly they do it gongnam style snakes has to do missionary yeah the female opens her cloaca and lets the male insert the sninus

no say the actual name the hemi penis is it on like okay the hemipenis into the snussy it's not it's not i don't think snussy is a scientific word i'm gonna i'm gonna google snakes having sex and see what it looks like i'm so i did i haven't seen like there's i don't there's not it's not very graphic oh they they wrap oh that's kind of hot. Oh, they wrap up in a ball together? They look like a... Like the spooning? Like a... What's the pastry that's twisted?

A balloon dot. Dude, that's so twisted. What is it, Randy? I was going to say churro, but churros aren't twisted. Look, this is what they do. A donut? That's hot, right? Oh, that's kind of a vibe, yeah.

Isn't it? That's love. Actually, that's way more tender than I anticipated. That's fucking intimate. That's some intimate shit. How could something that's so scary that's kind of a vibe yeah isn't it that's that's actually like that's way more tender than i that's fucking intimate that's some intimate shit how could something that's so scary be so loving look they're kissing too at the same time okay they're hissing can't believe you disrespected the virgin mary on this very podcast i was thinking a case that's like documented in science oh well keep going like scientific scientific, you know, something since... I don't want to get into it. We just move on. No, no, no. Let's keep talking about the hemorrhoids. Okay.

Virgin Mary. That's the case. Do you want to talk about friend zone Tristan to save yourself right now? Hey, what was the female thing? The cloaca? The snussy. I think it's cloaca. Oh, okay. Here's the thing. Let me see that cloaca. What that cloaca do? Damn. Show to him that that cloaca what that cloaca do damn

sure to hit me with that earth cloaca yeah i don't know what it's called hey oops they didn't lock your cage i got it there don't call me i ain't got no money he's broke this snake is broke dude they're calling okay he's a piece of shit you guys read about dinosaur cloacas cloacas i'd love to hear about it says finally in 3d this is from the new york times finally in 3d a dinosaur is all purpose orifice they're just doing everything through that hole finally that's what birds do too everything very much what do you mean mate and poop and pee is it like the bird dogs of orifices? It's my everything orifice?

Exactly. Dude, can you imagine having this in your place? The world's oldest known all-purpose orifice sits in a fossil display in the Senkenberg Natural History Museum in Frankfurt. So close to the glass that enshrines it that you can put your face up to it like this. Hey, Dylan, can you show me what you would do if you were putting your face up against the dinosaur all-purpose orifice? I don't want to make that face right now, really.

I don't know if it needs that. I don't know if certain orifices need all-purpose. I mean, like if you have a purpose, like that's going to take care of it. Can we play this video, Tristan? I have not seen this.

I'm, I'm saving it for this. Tell me, tell me from, once we complete this video, tell me on a scale of one to 10, how much our man Tristan is going through it right now. Okay.

Let's see here. Oh, this is going through it right now okay let's see here oh this is gonna be tough usb up there we go of course i do producing randy of course i do no it's not because i had it up all right here we go oh no oh no look at him first thing jumps out she seems to be too cute for him unfortunately yeah unfortunately oh you know what maybe he's got like next level riz though stroke game could be good w riz hey what's it can i get an age check before stroke game either in high school or something oh man like dude dude he's always with her yeah so this created a very large dialogue wait how does this end is there's now tristan's still with us talking about how he's a shoulder for her to cry on all the time okay traveling

two hours to see a boy you like playing a basketball game and guess what tristan's with her tristan drove her. Oh, Tristan, you can't take her to that road. Tristan, dude, you cannot be driving her there. You stay your ass at home while she does that. Don't sit in traffic.

Oh, Tristan. My man. So this created a very healthy dialogue online between having platonic friends and not. Why does she do them like this?

Does she know what she's doing to Tristan? Yes. Look, this is very common in high school this is what she's doing she's letting the world know that although she spends a lot of time with this fella she's very available and he just he's i've seen this i've seen this go down in person i was friends with the girl i might have been friend zone a number of times i was friends with the girl and we would go out a fair amount together and I would try to wing man for her. She would try to wing man for me, but it got to the point where we hung out enough that people just thought we were dating and like assumed that we were dating since they

usually saw us together. And so it was kind of one of those moments where it's like, all right, we can't hang out. We need to be less, we need to be more available to the opposite sex if we're trying to move on from this. Is this like Zack and Jesse? Then one day he climbs up into her window and she's overdosing on caffeine pills? Dude, Zack hooked up with all of them at one point, didn't he? He did make out with Jesse at some point, yeah. He's a dog.

And he definitely hooked up with Lisa at one point. Yeah, he and Screech fought over it. Screech ripped his shirt. Lisa Turtle was underrated. Underrated. Oh, yeah. Screech ripped his shirt. Lisa Turtle was underrated. Underrated. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's my say by the bell voice.

Right. I didn't know how to feel about the new girl. Tori? Yeah, Tori. She's a bad girl. I don't think Tori would have gone for me. She went for Zach. Yeah, he's preppy.

How do you not go for Zach? I don't know. If you really look into how he is as a person like you realize oh this guy's a fucking sociopath got the blonde coiffed hair and yeah but he's a gaslighter who said that who said i bet that yellow street goes all the way down your back i think it was screech said that to him after he kissed lisa what's that supposed to mean? Coward. I don't know. You know, you ever heard that?

Somebody's like, yeah. Remember that episode when they had the oil spill? All the ducks were covered. Stop the drilling. Stop the oil. Did they have to cover ducks in oil for the episode? They had a big bunch, big bottle of Dawn. Dawn's what they used to clean them. Like, that'd be annoying.

Yeah. It's like, what do we do with this duck covering fucking oil i like that the kids thought that they were gonna share in the wealth like you guys don't own that no they do profit sharing with the high school kids no they just don't they thought they were gonna get like a baller ass high school like overnight nah that's not really how that works i'll tell you this right now you don't want to be in high school when they're doing major construction on your high school. It's not fun.

You're eating lunch in the fucking chemistry lab. Oh, that sounds terrible. Yeah, we did that for an entire semester. You walked through the chemistry lab where all the food was. Were you just making s'mores in the Bunsen burner? Dude, you know it. You know it, dude. That's where Bunsen burner media began you just put on

the goggles just for fun yeah it's like oh dude will's doing the goggle thing oh these are my smorgasbord will's eating that sandwich with goggles on that's crazy because you're not supposed to do that dude he's crazy he's crazy oh dude will put his uh ecto cooler in a test sorry i cut you off, Timbal. Perfectly fine. This weekend in fun. This 4th of July in fun.

This long weekend in fun. Whatever you want to call it. Presented by Roback. Love Roback. Like I said earlier, we had dinner with these guys last week and I have to say, they got some fire in the hopper. Yeah. If you're a Texas fan, buckle up, kid.

Look out, mister. They dropped a swim-up bar today. Did you see that one? No. They dropped a swim-up bar polo. What's on that? It is all of the things you might find at a swim-up bar. Pina Colada, maybe?

A nice hut. Me pissing in the pool. Yeah, me just blacked out drinking Miami Vices. Uh-huh. All the things you'll see. My wife yelling at me for not putting on enough sunscreen on my shoulders.

Yeah. I can't recommend their new Tailwind tees enough. They are buttery. Dylan was flexible in the office the other day and it's not often I go out of my way

to compliment Dylan and I did just that. They are buttery soft. I'm currently packing for a family vacation, and I'm very excited to report that several rowbacks are in tow with me. They're just doing it, man. In tow with me. They won't stop.

Wash 20 gets you 20% off your order at rowback. Again, wash 20 gets you 20% off. Go do it. Dylan, what are you getting into this 4th of July slash weekend? Yeah, I don't have crazy plans or anything gonna have parks tomorrow and friday and we're gonna spend some time with family do some swimming and some grilling some typical fourth of july stuff uh fireworks situation i don't we don't have plans to do fireworks yet but we might we might make a plan

to i don't even know where to go like the best place to go for it. I got some extra Sleepy Joes if you need them. Okay. Okay, thank you. Yeah. Where do y'all go for fireworks? Do y'all do that? Downtown. I've never done the fireworks in Austin, except this year we're going to my sister... not to

ruin my weekend and fun. We're going to my sister-in-law's place. They live in a high-rise that has a view of downtown, so we're just going to go watch them from there. The AC. Which I call the A-Sizzle. But I can see them from my place. I would assume you could. I don't know where they blast off from.

Right around South Congress? Right around the bridge. So they close one of the bridges. I think it's either Congress or First Street Bridge. So they close that and everyone that's pedestrian could just walk there or you could go to Autonomous Shores. Three times. Maybe I'll walk there.

That's close to me. Yeah, you're kind of in a nice little spot to bop about. I haven't really thought about this yet. You could ride the e-bike. Well, I'm going to have a whole crew with me, so I don't think we can all hop on there. You don't have pegs on it? Can't pump the whole squad.

Pegs on the front, pegs on the back. Dude, I was behind a couple riding their bike earlier, and they were on a tandem bike. The old man was doing all the work, and I was like, can you all not do this during morning rush hour? That's so cute, though. It was cute. They're cute.

It was cute, but honestly, I was worried about the old man. Dudes that old shouldn't be pumping for two did he did he fall off of it out of frame of the he was kind of sleepy yeah he was eating an ice cream cone hey man that's not funny man that's all i got and then the rest of the weekend i don't know just kind of chill just chill i've got nothing man what's that boy uh no real plans wow no real we're going off and um look i need it i went a little hard in chicago um some of you are aware and um i can't believe we've had to pick you up out of that gutter to bring you home now i don't even know they had gutters there, but they do. We have a parade, a neighborhood parade we're going to go to.

I don't think we're going to – we don't have any plans to go watch fireworks yet. It might be kind of tough with the baby. I don't really know. Dude, they're at 930. Like they're late. Yeah. It doesn't play into the game that you and I are currently playing. I just don't think this is the year.

I mean, I think Rhodes would think it was cool. Maybe we'll, I don't know, maybe we'll make something happen. But you will catch us at that Lifetime Pool. We're going to do that pool at some point in the weekend. That's what's up. That is, like, the only thing that's on the agenda. It's a great pool. It's good.

You trying to run back a splash pad Saturday at the DeVries household? Rhodes would love that. All right, we'll be in touch. Fritz taught him how to pee standing up. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you got to pee standing up, dude. Yeah.

Sometimes you got to. Just make it happen. Yeah, if you can't tell from my voice and my general demeanor, I'm not feeling that, that good. So I probably won't be doing much for the actual 4th of July. You know, I've made one specific request.

Are you guys ready for my one specific request? I want jalapeno poppers in my life. Um, that's all I want. I want the pre-made ones from the grocery store. I want them wrapped in bacon and I want to char those bitches on the grill and I want to eat them. I just want to love it. I want the pre-made ones from the grocery store. I want them wrapped in bacon, and I want to char those bitches on the grill, and I want to eat them. I just want to love it.

I want heartburn later that night. I want to wake up. I'll bring some poppers over. Dude, I love some poppers. I think I'm going to have to pony up and go buy an extra gas tank with the amount that I want to grill this weekend. I can't do the online exchange right now. Oh, that's a great point.

I'm going to grill, Will. Yep. Good call. Yep the online exchange right now. Oh, that's a great point. I'm going to grill, Will. Yep. Good call. Yep, it's grilling time. And so I'm doing that, but we're intentionally doing nothing. I'm going to be out next week. We're doing a little family vacation

in a place called Cashers, North Carolina. There will be some raising up. We've not flown with Charlie yet, so we'll see how that goes. But yeah, I don't really have much going on out there. Just going to be, I'm playing exactly one round of golf, doing exactly one wine tasting with my wife. And I think outside of that, we're just going to be chilling out,

relaxing, maxing out cool. Are the kids flying? They'll be shooting some b-ball outside of school. Really? Even Charlie? Yeah. I thought about driving. 15 school. Really? Even Charlie? Yeah. I thought about driving. 15 hours.

That's too far, Will. Had it been 12, I would have said, all right, I could leave at 5 a.m. You're crazy. Roll in at 5 p.m. I've never done anything like that before. You got to factor in a lot of stops along the way since you have two little ones no no no because sometimes you just got to put your windows down and cruise right okay fair enough well you're not that far from ashville where i'll be

later on in october just saying should we vibe no but i'm gonna ask for recommendations i'm gonna ask about yeah we i don't i don't sally did all the planning on this but i'm excited i'm excited i'm excited to get out of the heat for a couple days i don't know. Sally did all the planning on this, but I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited to get out of the heat for a couple days. I don't know what the weather's going to be like there, but we'll see. Actually, I'm going to Google that right now. So I met a friend on the jetway, our plane to Chicago. The jetway was famously about, oh, I don't know, 80 yards long.

Remember that? Longer than that. It just never ended. Unbelievable. And I met a guy, and he actually was sitting next to me on the plane, told me that that area, that strip of area, that place in the Carolinas, he's like, dude, it's kind of like the Hamptons of that part of the country. I don't know.

The Hampies? That's what he said. Because I was like, dude, I'm looking for some golf out there in Asheville way. He's like, brother, there's some golf. So looking forward to it. I'm excited to play. I's a brother. There's some golf. So looking forward to it. I'm excited to play. If I, I'm, I am playing alone. So I will be recording myself every part three.

I will never let the hole get out of the shot of the camera in case I get a hole in one. Okay. Okay. Probably won't hit the green. Probably not. Probably won't hit the green. That sounds dope. Well, happy 4th of July everyone be safe

don't hold fireworks in your hand if they're lit light fuse get away dude fuck yeah I fucking love white thread panic let's get out of here bye Let's get out of here. Bye. Thank you.