Circling Back - Real or Fake Preworkout & Eaten By A Whale

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

Whole squad hyped up for the reveal of a new segment, Real or Fake Preworkouts, courtesy of Lil Pre himself aka Dillon Cheverere. We also discuss the lobster fisherman who survived getting eaten by a whale, discuss our weekends, and get some Brett’s Breaking News as a chaser. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (8:10) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (30:00) Real or Fake Pre-Workouts (54:23) Lobster Fisherman Gets Eaten By Whale (1:01:35) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) Away: www.awaytravel.com/steam (100-day trial!) Honey: www.joinhoney.com/circlingback (save money, stimulate the economy) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge happy monday my name is will defries to my right david rodge. Happy Monday. My name's Will DeFries. To my right, David Ruff. Don't intro me like everything's cool right now. Like, Will gets a big guest. I asked for 10 minutes, just 10 minutes, to talk LaLiga with this guy. And Will's like, dude, I just don't think this is the right forum. Like, maybe down the road if, like, we continue to build. And I just don't appreciate it.

Yeah, who needs Tim Howard's takes when you got Dave? People wanted Dave's soccer takes. Right. He's the La Liga guy. I had some questions for Tim regarding La Liga. The league. Right. And, you know, that's fine.

I've got them written down. Maybe one day in the future I'll get a chance to bounce them off. I'll give you his number and I'll see if you guys can link and build. Thanks for having me on. It's a great day to podcast. Hey, good interview, Will. I enjoyed it. Thank you. I still have four minutes to go, so unless you completely bombed in the last four minutes, good job. Thank you.

Hey, are you guys aware that this podcast is presented by Vizzy Hart Seltzer, the only Hart Seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola? Yeah, I am. Yeah, I knew that, actually. Perfect. I knew that everyone knew that, but I just wanted to get that out of the way before we introduce a little pre over here. Acerola is a superfruit. Superfruity. No, no, no.

You guys, no. A superfruity. Hey, man. Hey, man. I'm happy to be back from vacation. How are you? Vacation Dylan's back in the saddle. I heard you ate some really good tacos.

Low pre coming at you. Okay. I did have some tacos. Is that intentional, dog? Tell me about the taco sitch. Dude, I don't know, man. I wanted some fried fish tacos, and for whatever reason I could not find them. Wow, dude.

It must be game season. I'm a grill boy. You know what I'm saying? Dude, they have perfectly good grilled... I did have grilled. I also had some, like some, whatever, uncooked tuna. What do they call that when it's in a taco? Anyway. Tartar? No.

Anyway. It was good, but it wasn't what I was looking for. Raw tuna? Anyway, more on that in recapping this weekend in fun. But we have a really exciting segment coming up later. I'm really excited. We're actually serving grilled fish tacos at Wilmont's this weekend. I'm out. I'm special guest chefing. Very excited about it. You don't know what you're doing. It's called the grill to seize. Do you get it? Really? Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah,

from the sea. It's a good pun. Randy came up with it. It's okay. Are you going to reverse engineer some fries? Thinking about it. Thinking about it. No, we don't have a deep fryer. Unfortunately. You have an air fryer, though. Yeah, but that's kind of different than the air fryers that you're traditionally using. The air gets everyone fried, is what he's saying.

Oh, dude, that's sick. It's a volcano bong. Hey, real quick. Like the one in Jackass 3D? Real quick, whole squad on that animal cracker shit right now, but you two hit it with some chocolate milk. Yeah, that's right. You want me to get some gushers, too? Why are y'all eating like eight-year-olds?

What's going on? We just had the breakfast of champions, a glass of chocolate milk and some anti-cracks. Dude, no one's saying anti-cracks. I bet you're jealous because Will and I are getting our our dha omega-3s which support brain health yeah along with probably 14 grams of sugar so that's cool i tried 22 dumbass it's worth it it's so good though hey can i give a unsolicited shout out to mind of micah mind uh just a great six like a six minute pod just a great tease for what's to come on his entire – he's doing this really compelling story about this podcast house thing.

It's like the Sway House, but it's for podcasts. And it really builds it up. And then he's like, all right, more on this next week. Like, dude, we're six minutes in. That's it? Just the tease of all teases. Can you turn – you're moving tomorrow. I think we can teases. Can you turn your... You're moving tomorrow. I think we can say that.

Can you turn your new crib into the Dave house? I've got it through the end of June. Let's party. I'm not going to do what Dylan wants me to do and call it the D house. Can we have a house destruction party at your old place? Like Anti-Flag would have wanted? Just go in with sledgehammers, take down the drywall. You've always wanted to take down a load-bearing wall.

Big fan of load-bearings, anything. You've got to leave the load-bearing walls alone, man. That's why they're there. Well, they bear the load. They bear the load. They do. The load will come down if it's not dead. Oh, dude, this is going to be an episode.

Moving is really cool when you have a dog who's already kind of on edge just because he's kind of skittish. And there's just giant moving boxes everywhere just because he's kind of skittish. And there's just giant moving boxes everywhere, and he's like kind of freaked out. I just burped. Sorry, I shouldn't have had so much DHA. Anyway, it's better than Diet Coke, okay? At least I'm not drinking Diet Coke.

You should be thanking me. I don't know why I would thank you for not drinking Diet Coke. Because every time I do, I'm just over here just a little burp. I don't get you people out there that can drink like 15 LaCroix at your desk every day. It doesn't make sense to me. They're just burping because it's terrible. They're just releasing gas all day. Where's that carbonation going?

Dude, they're mashing that gas button. It's too much gas, man. LaCroix tastes like face moisturizer or suntan block. Pick your choice. Suntan block. Yeah. Is that what they call it? Suntan block like face moisturizer or suntan block pick your pick your choice suntan block yeah is that what they call it sunblock it blocks the suntan hey tell people about the segment we have later so they know so they don't turn it off get to the segment eventually so they don't turn it off i already did a tweet everybody knows everyone knows that we're doing real or fake pre-workout i don't want to read brought to us by little pre little pre himself let's go you seem

very horned for programming notes right now, so let's just get these out of the way. First and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod and Wash Media on the Grom. Add me on the group. Leave a review and five-star rating. I will say, after not receiving a review in June, we have gotten some very tasty reviews over the last week or so. Tasty.

Tasty ones. Yep, they're good ones. Also, tell a friend about the podcast, and I want to know how you're telling your friends. I want to hear the most creative way that you're passing the pod. PTP. YouTube.com slash Wash Media. You can see everything we do up on there as well.

Washmedia.shop and our Patreon schedule. Tomorrow, Bachelor at... We have a special guest in the studio. Some might know her as my wife. Others may know her as Dave's little whiskey girl. You took the order out of my mouth. But her name is Sally DeFreeze, and she'll be joining us while Dave moves. That's a bummer I won't be here.

Yeah. That's intentional. If Dylan was moving, she's not coming in the studio. I'll leave my takes, dude, because trust me, I've got some takes about tonight's episode. Can Sally borrow your flamethrower? You know what? You know what? You know what? Yes, I will.

It'll be my gift, my baby gift to y'all. Thanks for sharing your little whiskey girl with us for an episode, man. That's really kind. Really sweet. Don't say it like that. We're also doing Friday voicemails on Thursday. So shouts to those. No one's doing that.

Yeah, you don't see that anywhere. I heard we might move them back to those. No one's doing that. Yeah, you don't see that anywhere. I heard we might move him back to Wednesday. We're just going to keep moving him back until he gets back to Friday. That's so dumb. Would people even notice if we just, like, yeah. Since everyone noticed that we moved him to Thursdays, yes, I think people would. I think we're overthinking moving it to Thursday thing. I don't think it's made any dividends at all.

We just wanted to make everyone turn into veiny-faced meme kid. But that was one of the questions on the Becker Insider that I posted last Thursday evening. Did you promote that at all? I don't know. Did you? You can promote as well, Dylan. I was on vacation, but I don't promote on vacation.

I didn't. I thought you did. What would Dilly do? I'll do it today. But check out the Becker Insider on the Patreon page. By Lil Pre. Lil Pre himself. By Lil Pre himself. It's behind the paywall.

Dude, Dylan truly tells all. If you want to know what goes on behind the scenes, you can do so. If you want to know what was really in Dylan's pocket. If you want to know why we really moved voicemails from Friday to Thursday. Dude, what's messed up is that I thought Dylan was out of pocket this entire time. Wow. Damn, dude. I know.

Hey, is it time to recap this weekend in fun presented by Liquid IV? Yes, it is. You know what I did this weekend? You had some Liquid IV. I don't want to ruin this weekend in fun, but yes, I did go to a lake house this weekend. And yes, one of the first things I took out to pack for it was an entire new bag of Liquid IV. I don't want to ruin this weekend in fun, but yes, I did go to a lake house this weekend, and yes, one of the first things I took out to pack for it was an entire new bag of liquid IV. I went with the lemon

lime flavor, and I had to do it to him. You did it to him, didn't you? I did it to him. That's become a travel staple of mine, and Bay's, actually. I keep a few in my dop kit. That's a great call. You never know, man. Right next to the collar stays? Right next to the... There's so many collar stays. Can I borrow a couple? You know your boy's low. God, your collar's not going anywhere. You never know, man. Right next to the collar stays? Right next to the... Dude, there's so many collar stays.

Can I borrow a couple? You know your boy's low. God, your collar's not going anywhere. It's just staying. That's the thing about them. Yeah. Liquid IV, it multiplies your hydration with their hydration multiplier plus immune support to help maintain and strengthen your immune system.

That's the tangerine flavor, my guy. Everyone knows that. It's so good. It's my favorite flavor these days. My immune system is so hard right now. Hey, have y'all sneaky tried the new strawberry flavor? I haven't gotten that yet. No. Oh, buddy. It rivals watermelon. Are you kidding? It absolutely slaps. I think so. I had a lapse in my deliveries when I moved. And so I think I might've missed that shipment, but I'm back on the shipments. I'm getting them in. Man, I got to try that strawberry and that watermelon.

It goes sneaky hard. So the mail-in liquid IV stuff goes to me for some reason. And I definitely get a little taste before I bring it into Brett's swag. You know, I get my beak wet. Get my toe in. You taste the package before you distribute it? I take the, yeah, I just do a little nummy with the liquid IV. If you guys haven't tried it, you got to see what this hydration multiplier plus immune support is all about.

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That's proven to help strengthen your immune system. Each packet is bursting with fresh, natural tangerine flavor. It tastes amazing. They should do a glow-in-the-dark flavor and call it Neon Mune. That's good. That's good. I don't know how, where it would glow in the dark. Like in the glass?

When you have your black light on. Lights are off. I don't hate that. It's a weird way to Like in the glass? When you have your black light on. Lights are off. I don't hate that. It's a weird way to consume your liquid IV. Well, I like to have fun. Get your liquid IV's hydration multiplier plus immune support in bulk at Costco. Order online and get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com. Use code CIRCLINGBACK at checkout.

That's 25% off anything you order when you go to get better hydration today using promo code CIRCLINGBACK at liquidiv.com. Dylan, what did you do this weekend? Wow, thank you for asking. I had kind of a big weekend, honestly. I was in San Diego. Just eating grilled fish tacos. Just eating grilled, underwhelming fish tacos.

No, we stayed in Mission Bay in San Diego. With Bay. Yep, with Bay. Mission Bay. How did you not do in Mission Bay in San Diego. With Bay. Yep, with Bay. Mission Bay. How did you not do any Mission Bay tweets? Oh, my God. I completely forgot to do that. Because you don't believe in content.

It's not too late. I still get a post off. God, what an idiot I am. Anyway, I traveled there. Of course, we flew. You did travel there. It's kind of a far drive, so we flew. I traveled there with my son parks and this is my

son bae's daughter little bae uh just just the three of us little bae and um it was a little challenging you know going through a whole airport security and how was security at austin bergstrom and we it took us about uh 45 seconds to get through nice wow so all the all the concerns that i had for you were just completely non-valid at all and your boy is in his is on his dad's shit when he travels so he likes to get to the airport pretty early two hours before the flight little pre little pre-check over here yeah little pre-check going clear and so uh because of all the pre the new go. And so because of all the talk about the lines, the TSA lines, I got there pretty early.

So we waited for a while, and I had to keep a couple of four- and a six-year-old entertained and fed. Did you get any breakfast tacos while you were there? Got breakfast tacos. Ooh. Taco Deli or Earl Campbell's? Kids had a banana. I'll tell you this about Dylan.

When he knows there might be lines, he'll get there early. Oh, yeah. Your boy does not do lines. Well, anyway. Exactly. Just walked in A-Town. A-Town's here. Sunglassed up. Love it. Anyway, San Diego

was a great time. We had a lot of fun. Went to the zoo. The polar bears were dope. What were your thoughts on the zoo, man? It's world famous, that zoo. I've been there like four times. People love the San Diego Zoo. It's great. It's a great zoo.

We got to the polar bear exhibit right as they were feeding it. They threw a bunch of cantaloupe in the water. What? Yeah. They're eating cantaloupe. They were loped up, man. It was tight. What was eating cantaloupe?

The polar bears. Swag. I thought they just ate seals and shit. Wait, did they slice it up for them? Yeah, I thought they ate meat. I mean, they do. I want my cantaloupe. They cut them in half. It's cutting season. They cut them in half

and just toss them in the water and they sort of swim around. I don't support that. You can't cut those in half. Polar bears? No, the cantaloupe, David. If they gave every piece of cantaloupe to every polar bear in the world, I'd be completely fine with that. There's literally nothing worse than cantaloupe. Oh, I like cantaloupe. That's not... No! Cantaloupe, that's rad.

It's not boat status, but it's good. Watermelon, it's not watermelon. It's bad. But it's not bad. Honeydew stinks, too. Cantaloupe, okay. I've had some bad cantaloupe, a lot of it, but I've also had some just prime cantaloupe. No, there's no good cantaloupe.

You need dope loaf. Prime cantaloupe. You've got to get the best loaf out there. I had some Wagyu cantaloupe recently. I only get my cantaloupe from Japan. I only get the best lope out there. I had some Wagyu cantaloupe recently. I only get my cantaloupe from Japan. I only get my peaches in Georgia, so I get it. I'd rather get cannabis. Oh, you burn.

You burn. Anyway, not a whole lot else to report. We did some beach. We did some swimming. I saw you do some push-ups. Did some push-ups. Parks and I got a little pump in. It was tight.

His form was trecha trash. Dude, what are you talking-ups. Did some push-ups. Parks and I got a little pump in. It was tight. His form was treacherous. Dude, what are you talking about? Yeah, kind of lacking upper body strength. What are you talking about? He got a good pump in. I almost responded. I was like, hey, dude, just have Parks do it on his knees just to get used to the motion. Yeah.

That's okay, man. He tries to keep up with his old man, but really no one can. So it's like. Are you talking shit to him the entire time you're doing push-ups with him? Yeah. Yeah. Barking in his face? We have fun, man.

It's a good time. Did the polar bear roar? Do you want to tell us what it sounded like? No. They were just swimming around eating cantaloupe and just vibing, really. Just vibes. I wish they would have thrown some meat in there. You want to throw a seal in there and just let them go to town on it?

That's what you want? Who wins, Navy SEAL or polar bear? Does the Navy SEAL have weapons? Nope. His hands are registered deadly weapons. Polar Bears are, man, they're big fellas. His or her. Thank you, David.

They're so big, man. The paws on that thing, it's like Randy's backside, the size of those paws. Nah. They're bodacious paws? They're bodacious paws. We got to start calling A-Town cool Adam. I don't hate it. He just comes in here with shades on. He's wearing

a shirt today that says only you can prevent forest fires. Why does he have more swag than all of us? Because he's cool Adam. I don't know if I'm preventing him that much, though. With as much as you burn. Too much wind at the lake this weekend. Couldn't get the fireworks off. Oh, that's... Shut up. Dave, how about your weekend, dog?

You're done with what Will had to say? It was fine. We didn't do... So we're moving. We're in the process. I've been going to and fro the new house. I used that correctly, didn't I? Sure.

And Saturday, though, I did play a little golf. I was lucky enough to be invited by a friend of the show, Ryan, to his club to play the member golf. I was lucky enough to be invited by a friend of the show, Ryan, to his club to play the member guest. I was the guest, of course. And it was very hot, but it was very, very fun. Hit some bombs.

Had a couple birds. You have butts for it? First six, oh, yes. I did the untuck the back because I was a little worried about what was going down back there, even though I wore my navy blue moisture-wicking shorts that didn't really wick much moisture. We got Timo in the building now. Oh, the Timo. Whole squad just here.

Dude, they better be in there whipping up something. Yeah. Just cooking it up. Like Walt and Jesse. Just in the lab. Walt and Jesse just getting loco in there. Just getting some vids and just putting them out. Just hitting up Skinny Pete and saying, yo, sell these vids and just putting them out just hitting up skinny p

and saying yo sell these vids anyway yeah i didn't do much after that uh had some ranch waters you guys ever had one of those i'd never had one i'd only had the l dave but they had ranch waters out there and they're okay interesting did you order any l daves at the clubhouse uh yeah and they kind of looked at me funny and they're like oh you're the you're the guest, aren't you? I'm like, yeah, I am. Had a good time. Went home, did a little UFC action. We've already moved our normal living room TV, so I'm watching our living room has a tiny TV in it. It's been trashed for Warzone.

Anyway, so watching the fights on my four-year-old TV, you know, whatever. Still fun. And then yesterday, man, just did a lot of packing. Fun. What did I do? That's the fun stuff. Did I do anything with y'all? I didn't do anything.

Y'all were both out of town. I didn't fucking talk to you this weekend, dog. If I wasn't down, I still wouldn't hang out with you. The only time I talked to Dave this weekend is when he hit us up on the text and asked if he could buy a file cabinet for the office. We've got to store our files somewhere. What files are we going to put in there, dog? Have you not noticed that when we get check stubs and stuff, they just sit on that table out there? You know the bottom drawer of that little cabinet has the file hangers?

Yeah, but that's where all the rich crackers are. That's true. That's a good point. No, and I realized as I'm cleaning out stuff, I'm like, oh, these are all, like, company docs that I probably don't need to have at my house. I like them at your house. Like, I have all of Dylan's shares. Like, I own them now. Oh, that's sick.

I was going to do a share pun. Do you believe in love? Oh, Cher. If I can turn back time. Bet Dylan was she good. Old ass. She was married to Sonny Bono at one point.

Keep going. He died. He did. Tragically. Were they still married when he died? Skiing accident. I don't think so.

I don't think they were. I think they were. I got you, babe. I got you, babe. Is that how it goes? No relation to Chris Bonial, former Cowboy Kicker. Thank you for that clarification. There were a lot of concerns.

By the way, this weekend in Fun Continued, part due for Dave, I found my Dean Palmer rookie card. If anybody out there wants to buy it, it's up for sale. It's worth $2.25. It's in the plastic. $225. $2.25. Retailed at $3. He was decent for in the plastic. $225. $2.25. $3. It retailed at $3.

He was decent for a couple years. Yeah, that was tight. He was like, for a while we thought he might be flirting ghost status. I thought he was flirting with juice status. He was juiced up. Fine with that? Yeah, I am too. You thought he was going to commit a double murder?

See all the stuff they're doctoring the baseballs with? Oh, man. Too much dip. Check it out. Sick. What would you put on a – What about you, man? Yeah, what would you doctor your ball with, your baseball? Oh, I'd just drizzle a little honey on there.

Oh, is this a reed? That's what I do with my – no, it should be. More on that later. That's what I do with my yogurt. My skewer. I do, too, actually. My Icelandic skewer. I'd put a little kombucha on my ball.

Really? Yeah. They call it the calm ball. What does it do? Yeah, what kind of benefits do you get by soaking your balls in kombucha? It just hits different. Comes off the bat different. Interesting.

Very cool. That's awesome, man. That's cool. Very sick. Man, I had a big weekend. I hit the lake. We had our first excursion out with the little man. What lake? I don't know. We had our first excursion out with the little man. What lake?

I don't know. Eagle Mountain. Eagle Mountain. It's got a mountain with eagles on it. Was this in Texas? Yeah. Right outside of the fort. Funky Town. You know what it is. Oh, it wasn't Possum Kingdom? No, it wasn't PK, bro. Why is it named Possum Kingdom? It's a great name. What a stupid name for a lake.

That's not where I was, so why are you even harping on this dog like late Travis taken away from my weekend? The boss Travis, it's a kingdom of possums. I'm Travis. What's up, man? He's got a visor spiky hair awesome are just possibly just big rats. They're gross big facts Also call it rat Kingdom Big facts. Might as well call it Rat Kingdom. Do you know what happens when you travel with your child for the first time? It takes forever. The packing.

How many stops did you make? Just one. Oh, that's sick. Check stop. Ever heard of it? Oh, what'd you go with? Best kolaches in Texas. You know I hit them with two different kolaches and some sugar cookies. Didn't know.

You hit them with the sugar? Sally likes their Texas-shaped sugar cookies that have sprinkles on top of them. So I got two of those. One for the gracious host and one for Sally. That's nice. And then your boy got three, and count them, three ham, cheese, and jalapeno kolaches. Ooh. And then for our other host, I got him two sausage, jalapeno, and cheese kolaches. The gift of kolache, Dylan.

You could learn about that. Good for you. You show up with kolaches, and you're already the crowd favorite. It smells so good in there. Can I ask a question? Did y'all ever, because obviously you took 35 at least up through west where the check stop is. Did you consider taking 281?

We did. More scenic, but a lot more white knuckle because you've got the. That's why we didn't do it. It was already kind of white knuckle, you know, doing a three hour drive with the kids. So we were like, let's just take 35. We did go around Waco. If you're traveling, be careful out there. Waco's got a lot of stopped traffic.

A lot of stopped traffic. Hit up that Waze button. Go do that. People aren't talking about the fact that I might be the most up-and-coming pickleball player in Texas right now. Really? They call me the pickleball boy. Little Pickle? Mm-hmm.

Little Dill? I don't know if Little Pickle works. I don't know if I want Little Pickle? Mm-hmm. Little Dill? I don't know if Little Pickle works. I don't know if I want Little Pickle as my nickname, but I'll take it. I think I'm in on Pickleball. I only got to play about 45 minutes worth, but I'm addicted to it. Do you play doubles, or is it? We did a little of both. I played opposite of Sally, I will say.

I don't know if she's the most up-and-coming women's player. Oh, man. Damn. Why do you have to do Dave's little whiskey girl like that? She might get there. Who knows? Talk about this tomorrow. I was just laying them down.

Man, I'll probably never play pickleball in my whole life, honestly. Dude, no, you will. You're going to get in. You're going to see how much fun Dave and I are having. You're going to be like, all right, I'm in. Is this how you never played ping pong because you were really bad at it? That's a good point. I played ping pong a lot for a while until I got super popular at Grand X.

Oh, yeah. And I was over it. It's like me with every band I liked in high school. Do you know what I drank about 100 of this weekend? But I am not very good. That's facts. What'd you drink? I drank like a million Micheladas this weekend.

Not full-blown Micheladas. Just a little dash of the Michelada mix in the beers. Oh, yeah. That's a good move. That's a great hangover move. Why am I not doing this all the time? I thought about doing it this morning before coming in.

Monday. Hey, Baby didn't get in the lake, did he? No, no. Yeah, I was going to say that. It was quite windy, so we stayed and he did a little swimming in the pool. There was a pool there. Lakes have, you don't want the whatever, you know what I mean? He just got his shots today, so we're probably keeping him out of, like, you know, things with germs.

I guess pools probably have germs, too. He's all shot it up, though. They running salt through that pool, or what? Hard to say. You know, there's a chlorine shortage, allegedly. I believe it was actually a saltwater pool. Thank you for asking. Yeah, it's good on the skin.

That's probably why you look so young. Thank you. You look alright. Shut the f- What's your problem? I don't know, man. I got lots of- You came in very positive, but now you've just completely derailed. I'm just excited for the pre-workout thing. That's all I'm thinking about.

I think you're just mad because you couldn't find fried tacos. I am, honestly. Did you not have good tacos because you went to places that didn't have good tacos? Or are you trying to say that the tacos in San Diego just aren't good compared to the tacos we have here in Texas? Let's not start this shit. I don't know. I love the Southern California taco scene. It's very different from the taco scene here, of course.

It makes sense. It's a very good scene. I love them. They're great. I wanted fried fish tacos badly you're a big could not find them torches is your spot you say torches is fine it is good but it's you don't mean it's no i'm not a torches guy everyone knows that it's fine anybody who would ever say torches the best tacos in town that person don't listen to them for anything i

got i got into a barstool personality over this exact thing on Twitter. He tried to tell me I was an idiot. I was like, dude, you literally live in New York City. You're trying to tell me, a guy from Austin, that Torchy's has the best tacos in Austin. Just stop. Dude, big facts. And then I drove up there and I looked at his ass. Who was it?

I don't remember. It wasn't a big name. It was some low-level twerp. I mean, I'm an Austin local. I've pretty much been living here my entire life. I wasn't born here, but I got here as soon as I could. And if I learned one thing, it's that Torchy's just doesn't have the best tacos in Austin. That's just not what it is.

Dylan's going to have to fight this guy at Rough and Rowdy. I'll throw down. Rough and Rowdy gentlemen, Dave. Don't want to get ceased and desisted. You see that Bryce Hall Sway House kid? Got his ass whipped in some exhibition fight. I did see Lamar Odom beat the living piss out of Aaron Carter, which I can't believe that.

There was only like a 12-inch height difference and a 95-pound difference or something. Why did they square up? Who sanctioned that? Why was that allowed? I don't think anyone sanctioned it, right? I don't know. Was it a fist exhibition? First of all, how down bad are you if you're

fighting Aaron Carter in a ring? He even had the big headset on with the big foamy mouth covering thing and he still just got trapped. If you're Lamar Odom, why are you taking that fight? Because he probably needs money? Yeah, but can't you figure out someone else to take it? Because if you get knocked out by Aaron Carter, he beats Shaq, which we all know. By the way, but can't you figure out someone else to take it? Because if you get knocked out by Aaron Carter,

he beats Shaq, which we all know. By the way, I didn't get that reference, and everybody was making it, and I had to ask, and I feel like an idiot. Is that one of his songs? That's how I beat Shaq? Yes, it's one of his songs. Are you serious?

You didn't watch Disney Channel as a kid? Or were you just too old for that shit? No, he watched Ed Sullivan. Sorry, I'm not an Aaron Carter fan. What was that talking horse? Mr. Ed? He was a big Mr. Ed. You're a he watched like Ed Sullivan. Sorry, I'm not an Aaron Carter fan. Whatever it is. What was that talking horse? Mr. Ed? He was a big Mr. Ed. You're a big Mr. Ed guy. Hello, Dylan.

That's Joe Stockman. Hello, Dylan. How was your trip? Like the novelty of a talking horse has to wear off after like one episode, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, okay, this show kind of stinks. Why is it on its eighth season?

And if there was actually a talking horse back in those days, that thing would be in the circus just getting abused immediately. Like, it would be just going town to town. It would hoard out big time. He would hate his life. If he talked, he'd be like, dude, get me the fuck out of here.

This sucks. Like, please, let me out. I'm a horse, for God's sakes. Mr. Ed. I need room to roam. It's a talking horse. That's the show. That's the premise. That's the premise.

What's Dorn's deal? Mr. Ed asked what Dorn's deal was. Yeah. Man, I'm just going to be back in the stew with you lads, you know? I'm going to get him some tacos. Just mixing it up. Shut up. You didn't even miss an episode.

Oh, yeah. That's right. Did you really not? Nah, dude. That's why ratings are down. I you really not? Nah, dude. That's why ratings are down. I'm on that Grimeboy shit. They weren't.

I don't know how it goes. I guess I do, yeah. Do you finish your stupid ass weekend? We haven't started the show. What is this? Dude, your boy went home last night, watched a little UT baseball. Let's go. Hit up a little Hacks on HBO, which I've just been repping hard. It's just been a good time.

I finished season four of The Wire last night. That's facts. Hit up a little Hacks on HBO, which I've just been repping hard. It's just been a good time. I finished season four of The Wire last night. That's facts. Big facts. Man. Hey, if you guys are doing any traveling in the near future, I highly recommend that you consider an Away suitcase. You ever heard of these things? I believe I own one.

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Let's hear them. My first is the four wheels. If you're not gliding on four wheels when you're in the airport at this point, you're just looking like a broke boy. You ever see the people that haven't leaned up on the two? Stop, stop, stop. Don't air them out like that. What are you doing? The other thing I like is that they've got

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including their best-selling suitcases, at awaytravel.com. That's awaytravel.com. Okay, we've got a segment. Let's go. If this bombs, it's going to be the funniest thing in the world because Dylan's just been hyping this since he came up with it. If it bombs, I might have to just turn my resignation in, honestly. I'm too jazzed for this.

What's the segment? The segment is called Real or Fake Pre-Workouts because as we all know, or as some people know, pre-workouts, the branding tends to get a little aggressive at times. Oh, yeah. It tends to get a little aggressive. Example, my pre-workout is called Total War. See, that's stolen valor.

And really, it's just something that gets you ready for your workouts, gets you energetic, gets the blood pumping a little bit. You're not going to war, but that's how the branding goes. You're going to war with your muscles, the muscle fibers specifically, trying to confuse them. A really popular one also is called C4, which is explosives. That makes sense. Yeah. So the branding gets a little crazy.

And similar to how Dave does his Real or Fake Vice headline segment, which we all know and love. We're just a Real or Fake podcast. It's a Real or Fake podcast, yeah. But let's trademark that. Yeah, I have put together a list of pre-workouts here. There are 18 of them, actually. I don't know if I'm going to do all 18. Dang.

I know, it's kind of a lot. So it's going to be a one and done seg, because we can't run this back, obviously. Does the winner, does that person get a free Patreon paid for by us? Yes, one of you guys will get a free Patreon

one month only, but it's opto. Hey, here's what I'm worried about. Will is just now dipping a toe into the – that's my dipping a toe gesture. No, I mix it into water. Into the pre-workout game. I usually just mix it into water. He has the ghost – I believe he has the ghost pre-workout, which is the atomic warhead.

Spooky. You kind of sound like – your spooky voice kind of sounds like your Mr. Ed voice. It really does Here's what I'm worried about though What? I'm a dead horse He's been throwing big boy weights around for a while I don't do pre-workout though

He might know these better I probably do but I don't know I don't do pre-workout Okay My pre-workout's life Right My pre-workout's waking up in the morning I don't know about you

So here's how this is going to work I'm going to read the name of a pre-workout. Okay. You guys are going to tell me if you think it's fake or if it's real. So that's how real or fake pre-workout works. We weren't really sure how this was going to work. And we're going to keep score. I'm not going to keep score.

One of y'all has to just maybe just in your head. Randy keeps score. Randy's going to get it. Yeah. Thank you, Randy. Put down the banana. Okay. Randy, put down the Corona Extra.

Are you ready For the I think it's gone by the way The first and last edition of Real or fake pre-workouts I think A-Town stole it Hey dumbass I'm asking you a question Dude cool Adam just fucking chugged it

Are you ready? Yes been ready God I'm so ready for this Okay You ready? Don't bomb dude The first one Lit

Lit Like the band My own worst enemy The first one, lit. Lit. Like the band. My Own Worst Enemy. Lit. That's absolutely real. That's too easy. Yeah.

If there hasn't been one, there should be. I know, but now I'm thinking, like, Dylan wants to start with a fake one so he can try to get us to the beginning. Why are you giggling? This is like the lamest one, and I'm so excited already. I'm going to say it's lit. I'm going to say it's real. It is real. Who makes it?

Oh. I just wrote down the names. We need to know the distributor. We can go over all that later on. Don't start Googling. It's made by Beyond Raw. They have a Jolly Rancher. Beyond Raw?

Listen. That doesn't sound fun. You can't go off Googling, because it might pull up other ones. Okay, sorry. All right? Do you have Jolly Rancher lit in there? No. Okay. Oh, wait.

I'm not doing any flavors. This is just the name of the pre-workout. Okay. Okay? Dylan, the setup has been immaculate. Okay. Number two, Ape Shit Cuts. Cuts spelled with a Z.

Ape Shit Cuts. Cuts spelled with a Z. Ape Shit Cuts. There's no – no matter what you come up with that's fake, they all – there's an argument that they could all be real. That's the beauty. But this one – Real or fake pre-workouts. This one is fake. Okay. The only reason I think this one is fake is because I don't think the company would go with the Z on the end.

I think just going with Ape Shit C cuts is like that's already going pretty far. When you put the Z on the end, that's just like I'm trying to party too hard. You silly, silly puny bitches. Oh, that's mean. This is a real one. Apeshit cuts. This is absolutely real. That can't be FDA approved.

There's no one at the FDA being like, nope, apeshit's good. To be fair, the I in ape shit is an asterisk. Oh, okay. That's really cool of them. Yeah. Are you sure it's not ape shot? Dude. Ape shot?

You can't look these up, Davey. I just saw the flavors of it. It's going to pull up alternative brands. Can I give you one of the flavors? I'll wait. All right, give us a flavor. Orangutan juice. Free shipping. alternative can i give you can i give you one of the flavor i'll wait all right give us a flavor orangutan juice free shipping orangutan juice what does that taste like the juice of an orangutan that gives you like no indication of how it's actually going to taste when it arrives at your

front door no no that's kind of a theme in the pre-workout world now oh like my zombie blood yeah what okay okay i don't know what blood tastes like but oh okay all right you're ready to turn the heat up a little bit number three woke af woke af it's actually i see i'm not we've had two real ones in a row and even though i think this is a really good name for one i almost feel like we it's like when you answer B too many times during the ACT. There has to be another one. I love that move.

That's gotta be fake. There's no way. Shaking my head. That is a real big one. Are we still puny bitches? You're still puny bitches. This is so stupid. We have 15 more okay woke af that's a good name for a pre-workout

all right number four pump me daddy there's no no it has to be fake it's gotta be pump me daddy and also dude that's actually i'm not real no that's that's gotta be fake pump me dad and that will be the next podcast in our network well you said fake i'm going fake that is a fake pre-workout you got you had said real right no i said fake right you said real you said real dude i'm winning you said real winning i'm pretty sure no you said all right that You said real. You said real, dude. I'm winning. You said real. Winning.

I'm pretty sure I did. No, you said fake. All right, that's fine. You said real. You just got it wrong. No, you said no. This is bull. You said what you said. Email Dylan at WatchMedia.com if I got it right.

The next one is called 4-Gauge. Subtext says, load up your guns. 4-Gauge. Load up your guns. Four gauge, load up your guns. Is that like 4chan? Very similar. That's got to be. That's real because you would not have thought of that. Yeah, I don't think Dylan's sitting at home thinking of taglines for these things.

Do your wire joke. You know how Omar carries a shotty on him? Dude, no spoilers. All right, sorry. You both said what? Real? I'm going real. Dave?

That's definitely real. It's real. It's real. Bang. Good job. Bang! The next one. Freaking shredded.

Freaking shredded. This is the internet party pre-workout of choice. Freaking Shredded. The podcast on the Wash Media Network. It really is. It's just hard. All right, is it real? Freaking, can you spell freaking?

Like it sounds? Is it freaking or freaking? Freaking. Just the common spelling of freaking. Freaking what? Like freakily. Freaking Shredded. Freaking Shredded.ily. Freaking shredded. Freaking shredded.

I'm going real. Dave? I got to make up some ground here. I'm going to go fake. That is a fake pre-workout. Oh, fucking idiot. Freaking shredded. Freaking shredded.

Can we make our own pre-workout? Do we have any pre-workout contacts out there that we can just make our own? Private label some. We can make that happen. People would end up losing a limb or something if they started eating the circling back pre-workout.

We're going to shut down some nervous systems. Can we just make one called circling back day? That's pretty good. That's not terrible. The next one is called Super Bio Freak OMG.

Super Bio Freak OMG Super Bio Freak OMG Bio Freak Oh my god This is Chris Chris Angel Super Bio Freak I am the Bio Freak The OMG is what's

throwing me off to the point where I'm like why would Dylan include that so I'm gonna go with real It's unnecessary OMG It's like wow this stuff is really

hitting right now Oh my god The pre-workout game is just a pissing contest Yeah this was won by John Travolta Unnecessary. OMG. It's like, wow, this stuff is really hitting right now. Oh, my God. The pre-workout game is just a pissing contest. Yeah, this was owned by John Travolta. Everybody's just one-upping each other. I want to get a job as a copywriter for a pre-workout company. It's like, all right, guys. We have this new one.

It makes your heartbeat literally out of your chest. This is real. These are going to get so much better, too. This is real. Will? I said real. Good job. It's real. your chest this is real these are gonna get so much better too this is real well i said i said real good job it's real why the omg at the end i don't know i don't know it's unnecessary they need a branding consultant in there yeah i'm doing full body today sandy oh my god okay the next one. I am God.

That's so stupid. I am God. Can you imagine taking that and just being like, yeah. I'm God. Is that like I am God? Again, it is called I. Or is it like you're the intramural sports God? It is called I am God. I space A-M space G-O-D. Brought to you by Yeezus. I am God. I space A-M space G-O-D.

Brought to you by Yeezus. I am God. I'm going real. I'm going real. Davey, what are we thinking? Dude, just imagine the pump you'll get from this. I'm going fake. I am God is a real pre-workout.

I need to try that one. I'm trying this one. That's a cocky name for pre-workout. Be careful with your Googling. Yeah, Dave, stop Googling. Can I say the name of the company? Yeah. Insane Labs with a Z. Okay, I think I underestimated how trashy these companies are by saying

that they wouldn't put a Z on the end because that's too much. I've quickly learned that that was a terrible take. You're giving it way too much credit. Yeah, I want to try this one. Please expose me. All right, the next one. Drip. Drip.

Drip. That's absolutely fake. I think it's fake too. That is a real pre-workout. Why? I don't know. I think it's fake, too. That is a real pre-workout. Why? Why? I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, my God. Drip. Okay, number 10. Genocidal maniac. I don't think the companies are fucking with genocide. No way. They take things far, but genocide might be too far for them. Genocide. Genocidal maniac.

No, that's fake. You said fake? I said fake. It's fake. It's fake. Good job. Thank you. Are we up for the next one?

Yes. You're so giggly. I am fucked up. I am fucked up. I am fucked up. I am fucked up. There's no way. I do kind of feel fucked up when I take too much pre-workout. I am fucked up.

I just, your ears start tingling. I'm going to go real because I feel like it's so fake that it has to be real. It's got to be real. I am fucked up is a real pre-workout. Who makes that? And the fucked is not censored whatsoever. There's no asterisk? F-U-C-K-T?

F-U-C-K-E-D. I Am Fucked Up. What they eat. What's the name of the company, David? Is this Swedish Supplements? Yes. That's the one. company david is this swedish supplements yes oh good dude will they've dude they've got the joker edition yeah this is the joker edition i am fucked up is what it's called is there a picture of the joker on the front of yes i didn't click it because i didn't want to spoil any of yes it is a the branding is as aggressive as it sounds which joker did they go with i believe it's uh

heath ledger jared leto I believe it's Heath Ledger. Jared Leto? I think it's Heath Ledger. People say that Jared Leto was the best Joker. It was pretty... Oh, no, no. Everyone says that. What's the most recent one?

I always forget that dude's name. Batman? No, the most recent Joker. Oh, Joaquin Phoenix? Yeah, he was good. Where's he always walking to? Great question. I guess Phoenix.

What's your problem, dude? Why didn't Jared just go into his dad's business and just take over the... He was walking in Phoenix. ...the Tonight Show. The next one. Bloody crime scene. Okay. Bloody... Bloody crime scene. bloody crime scene okay bloody bloody crime scene is this a british supplement

it's a bloody crime scene what does it look like mate it's a bloody crime scene real i'm going real. Bloody crime scene. This has got to be fake. Bloody crime scene is a fake. Damn it. I think I'm getting closer now. Who's winning?

Do we have a score? Who's winning, Randy? We're tied. How many do we have left? We have, looks like we have six left. How? Yeah. There are 18 total.

There's a lot of pre out there. The next one, nuclear garbage. That's got to be real. Nuclear garbage. This sounds like something Dan would have. Yeah. This has to be real. I'm positive.

Did you consult Dan for any of these? I did not consult anybody. This is all my own homework. He actually just listened to Sup's dog and stole their entire segment. Nuclear garbage. That's real. That is a real pre-workout, yes. Still tied.

All right, hold on. This is my favorite part. Dude, be careful. I'm not, I promise. I don't trust Dave over here. I know, it pulls up like a whole list of. The second Dave starts getting down by a point, he's all Googling all these things again. It's really sketchy.

We're tied, you jack wagon. All right. The next one, X-rated gains. And gains is spelled with a Z. X-rated gains. This is so corny, it's got to be real. Yeah, I kind of agree. But I'm not committing to that yet.

Give me a sec. I'm going to have a sip of water. X-rated gains. I'm going real. Davey? Little Daveyy boy it's real x-rated gains is a fake pre-workout you're a little perv yeah i know the next one was there ever any movies rated x i don't that was like the junior kid like dude it had an x rating they had to remake it was. It was always NC-17. NC-17. Like, Spawn was NC-17, and it took us a few birthday parties before one of the parents. We could finally trick them into renting it for us. Okay, the next one.

Time to fuck. Time to fuck. Is this also made by the German company? Time to fuck. See, now I'm thrown off because they already had one that had the word fuck in it. The fuck is censored in this one. With an asterisk? The U is an asterisk. Oh, they didn't censor the F?

Time to fuck. What are you going with, Dave? Oh my God, that's great. This should be a silent vote. Because now we're like... We're doing a podcast, Dave. Now we're gaming. It can't be silent.

You go first on this one. I'll go first next one. This is real.'re gaming. You can't be silent. I'm going to say... You go first on this one. I'll go first next one. This is real. This is a real pre-workout. I'm going to go real, too. Time to fuck is a fake pre-workout. Damn it. I was hoping it was real.

What is wrong with you? Why were you so horny when you did this? A little pre over here. I didn't get a ace before I put this seggy together. Number 16. Gorilla mode. That's got to be real. Gorilla mode. How's gorilla to be real. Gorilla mode.

How's gorilla spelled? The traditional spelling of gorilla. G-U-E-R? No, it's G-O. Turn that shit up. Like the animal. Like the silverback. Pour that shit up.

Gorilla mode. Is that like sicko mode? A little bit, probably. I'm going to go real. I like this one. Gorilla mode. This is real. This is a real pre-workout.

That makes sense. Because I would like to feel like a gorilla. What's the. This is real. This is a real pre-workout. That makes sense. Because I would like to feel like a gorilla. What's the count, Randy? We're tied. Dude, somehow gorilla mode is the most normal one you've read. Yeah. Yeah. The fact that that's not laughable is kind of insane right now.

We only have two left. Okay. Gorillas are small. One of y'all has got to separate. Right here. Meth lab. Meth lab. Meth lab. Meth lab.

Jesse! I feel like they wouldn't have, I feel like they wouldn't make light of the meth epidemic. You would think. Yeah, but I've given them credit for things they don't deserve it for before. There's one called I am fucked up and also I am God. Yeah, that's've given them credit for things they don't deserve it for before. There's one called I Am Fucked Up and also I Am God. Yeah, that's true. I'm going to go fake for meth lab. Oh.

There's just a black lab on the front of it. Just ripped. Absolutely strapped. Meth teeth are grinded down as old canines. Meth lab. Canines, get it. down as little canines or meth lab canines get it um this has got to be fake you both said fake yeah this is a real okay pre-workout meth lab don't google don't do it all right all right you'll know after you hear the last one. So it's real. Not necessarily.

Okay. The last one. Meth. Meth. It has to be real. There's got to be some... Meth. You can't... You can't literally sell meth.

Meth. This is the last one, folks. I'm going real. I mean, look, here's the deal. Nobody wants us to tie. They want one of us to win. I'm going to vote, and it may not be where I want to vote, but I'm going to say this is fake.

This is a step too far making light of the meth epidemic. Ongoing global southwestern epidemic. Right. No, we get it. Meth is a real pre-workout. Dang it. Freaker. Meth. Ugh! Sorry, Dave.

I know my pre-workouts. Dave, you get the puny bitch of the week award because you don't know pre-workouts. You literally told us. Don't Google it because this next one, you'll see it. Because how was I going to stop you from Googling it? Because they always pull up together. I just Googled meth pre-workout, and it pulled up one that's just called Craze and Detonate.

That's a good name. Detonate. Detonate. That's a good name. Detonate. Detonate is really good. It says a popular and commercial sports supplement widely sold in the USA and other countries has secretly spiked with a chemical similar to methamphetamine and it appears its origins have it whatever. So there was actually something called Craze

that had methamphetamine-type stuff in it. That's kind of sick. Jesse? The ones I will be trying at some point are i am god i was gonna say you have to do i am god ape shit cuts woke af and of course i am fucked up that makes sense yeah i gotta try these clinically dosed with 400 milligrams of caffeine. Well, did you hear the studies today? That's the meth lab pre-workout. Did you hear about the studies today?

The New York Times had a study today that said drinking 400 milligrams of caffeine a day is actually linked to, I don't know if living longer is the phrase. That's not as bad for you as you thought it would be. It might be low-key good. That's how I'm 128 years old. I'm a hundred and... I drink I Am God every day. We were drinking the good stuff. We were drinking the orangutan juice.

Yeah? Orangutan juice. I drink fucked up games all the time. Something that I didn't even dig into is the flavors of these things, which are probably even more outrageous. Yeah, the first one I did was Jolly Rancher flavored. Can you imagine Jolly Rancher collaborating with that? A orangutan juice. I love that rang juice.

Did you guys have fun? I did. 400 milligrams. I had fun. 400 milligrams in one beverage, though? It's a lot. What's a cup of coffee? Around 100, unless you get a strong one, 150. Sheesh.

Maybe I could be wrong about that. One of those red eyes. 95 is the average, so I guess you probably would be right, Dave. In the ballpark. You do a red eye, you're getting 150. Did a red eye this morning. Really? Cold brew red eye.

Dude, shout out to nuclear garbage. Who wants to put nuclear garbage in their bodies? Anybody? Better than just regular garbage, at least it's nuclear. I don't think so. You said nuclear until like a week ago and I was like, Dylan, you're saying that wrong. Stop it. I feel like a big player

in the pre-workout game was just the whole radioactive nuclear stuff. That was like a theme for a few years. Radioactive! Imagine Dragons is just the pre-workout of music. I was on the

flight home yesterday. You could tell me that one was just called Imagine Dragons and I would believe you. There should be one called Dragon Come. That would have been

a good one. I was on the flight home yesterday just like looking these up and I was cackling to myself and Brittany was like, what is so funny over there?

And I had to explain to her. Who is Brittany? She's like, how do you make money? You don't sell ads? What is it? What's your business model? She's like, I'm funny over there and I had to explain to her Brittany she's like how do you make money like you know like so what is it what's your business model she's like I'm in real estate and you're over here looking up sort of Dragon come on the internet the pre-workout not actual Dragon right right that's pretty good Dave dude you know what I bet you can do I bet you can go to like bet you can go to a website that maybe has a promo code field, and I bet you could just use a plug-in on your browser.

Like what kind of plug-in? Maybe like a Honey plug-in, and it would save you money on it. I don't know where you could go, but we all shop online, and we've seen that promo code field taunt us at checkout. But thanks to Honey, manually searching for promo codes is a thing of the past. Honey is a free shopping tool that scours the internet for codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. It's got over 30,000 stores online that it works with. They range from sites that have tech and gaming to products to popular fashion brands, even food delivery.

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Hurts nobody. It hurts nobody. Hear about this lobster fisherman who got ate by a whale? Not until this morning. I want to know all about it. How did he get out? So we've talked about it. I think I asked it on a recent podcast that like if you actually get eaten by a whale, what happens when you're inside of that whale? Well, a lobster fisherman really, he must have been a listener. You think? What in the world is in that whale what you got in that whale at a little before 8 a.m on friday veteran lobster diver michael packard entered the water for his second dive of the day his vessel the j and j was off the herring cove

beach and surrounded by a fleet of boats catching striped bass the water temperature was a balmy 60 degrees and visibility about 20 feet. He literally just got ate by a whale. He said, all of a sudden, I felt this huge shove and the next thing I knew, it was completely black. What? Our man was just inside. Dude, how did he get out though? The belly of the beast.

He said, I could sense I was moving. I could feel the whale squeezing with the muscles in his mouth. He instantly knew that could sense I was moving. I could feel the whale squeezing with the muscles in his mouth. He instantly knew that he was inside a great white shark. He thought he was inside. Oh, he thought he was inside a great white shark. What a moron. Couldn't feel any teeth.

Yeah, a shark, dude. Oh, damn, man. I'm just inside of the shark. He said, I was completely inside. It was completely black. I thought to myself, there's no way I'm getting out of here. I'm done. I'm dead.

All I could think of was my boys. They're 12 and 15 years old. I've abandoned my boys way I'm getting out of here. I'm done. I'm dead. All I could think of was my boys. They're 12 and 15 years old. I've abandoned my boys. I thought they said he got eight on a Friday, not a Saturday. That's the Craig David song. Okay, having scuba gear on, you think that's what saved him? I don't know. Because he could breathe in there.

I'm not a bio – or I'm not like a – Well, this is simple like having oxygen, you know. He said, I saw a light And I started He started throwing his head side to side And next thing I knew I was outside in the water So it's not just a big party in there No party vibes inside the whale

So basically the whales just spat him I think he just spat him out He's like oh I don't want this thing inside me Dude you taste like shit dog Yeah I don't want all the scuba gear in me You're out of here mister He won't take the wrapper off Yeah

That would be Absolutely terrifying Yeah, I want all the scuba gear in me. You're out of here, mister. You want to take the wrapper off? Yeah. That would be absolutely terrifying. Is he fine? He looks okay in the photo. He's giving you the thumbs up. He did give a thumbs up. I mean, he's connected to all these things. It said he was injured, but he's giving a thumbs up, so I think he's all good.

What kind of whale was it? Humpback, dude. What's their diet normally like? Krill? You know, when I was in combo recently, it was humpback season. They were all around. And, of course, as the video I posted shows, I swam out in there. You shouldn't have gone out there.

I know. You know what, though? I'm just built a little different than this guy. I would have simply stayed inside of the whale. Yeah. Just posted up. Just started podcasting from the whale. Really?

Live from inside the whale. Do you want to hear what they eat, Dave? Whale to freeze. What? You actually don't even need to know because you are absolutely correct. Shrimp-like crustaceans, a.k.a. krill, and small fish, straining huge volumes of ocean water through their baleen plates, which act like a sieve.

That's sick. Kind of like the Avs goalie. Got him! Oh, I love it. I love it. Too much dip? Oh, man. If you knew that you could just get away with minor injuries, would you be willing to go into a whale's mouth for a brief period of time

to see what it was like? No. The muscles thing gives me anxiety. He's someone who likes to think they might be a claustrophobic. Is that the right one? Yeah. Claustrophobic or claustrophobic? It's not a claustrophobic.

It's claustrophobic. I fucked that up. Let's look it up. It's claustrophobic. You're right. I said a claustrophobic. He says he sees great white sharks all the time in this area, which is what he was. That's why he immediately thought he was.

I have many questions about his profession. He's a lobster fisherman. But he—there's a lot of divers. They go down there and— This dude didn't know anything about lobster. No, I don't. Enough confession. I'm from Dallas.

Lobster prices are insane right now. I was at the store the other day. Like $19.99 a pound. That's wild. I'm not paying that, dude. Get down to $14.99. Is that because of the chip shortage? Hard to say.

The chip shortage? The chips say. The chip shortage? The chips. There's a shortage in chips. Yeah. Well, like side chips. What do you mean? Yeah. Like the almond flour ones.

What? You asked. This article is much longer than it needs to be. The Cape Cod Times. Did he not get any pics? He didn't take any selfies in here or anything? This dude also survived a plane crash in Costa Rica? This guy should stop doing dangerous shit.

This guy's kind of tight, though. They should build a plane out of him. Wow. Request to have all lobster scuba diver guys wear body cams. Yeah, agree. We need to know what's going on down there. I agree. How deep do they dive?

Hard to say. Yeah. No one actually knows. No one knows, David. How far off the coast did those humpbacks get? I mean, obviously, if you can see them from shore in Cabo, a mile or two. Like, how far out do lobsters live? Like, you don't see lobsters just, like, chilling at the shore.

Ron, I stepped on a lobster. Freaking one-hand bro. Dude, Ron would have absolutely murdered the segment about real or fake pre-workouts. He would have punched his way out of this whale, too. Oh, Ron? Yeah. The whale would have been sitting there, and all of a sudden you just see a fist go through it. How many of those pre-workouts has Ron actually tried? He's probably mixed and matched them, Ron? Yeah. The whale would have been sitting there and all of a sudden you just see a fist go through it. How many of those pre-workouts

has Ron actually tried? He's probably mixed and matched them, dude. You remember Vinny early was like, didn't really talk and was like, why is this dude even here? And then he ended up becoming the guy. Vinny and Pauly were the guys. And Vinny also got kind of shredded. Vinny and Pauly are awesome.

Yeah. They could be in the squad, but they're much cooler than we are. When I first saw Vinny on the Jersey Shore, I thought, okay, this guy's going to be the dud. Yeah. He's going to get replaced eventually. No, he's like the guy now. Sitch just gives me anxiety.

Yeah, Sitch is a wild ride. I want the best for Sitch. Sitch. He was Dylan's age when he was on the show. He was like, dude, he was Dylan's age when he was on the show. He was quite old. That always made me, when they used to call him out for it a little bit, too, I was like, oh, that's got to hurt, man. Yeah, you can't do that.

I'm like, okay, yeah, we get it. He's like 42. No one wants to get called out on vacation for being old. He's low-key sensitive, too, you know? Dude, but his abs were a situation. They were. I mean, just shredded abs. That's facts. I mean, just shredded abs. That's facts.

I mean, you know that they didn't want to cast him because of his age, but they were just like, we can't not have this guy. Like, this guy is a goldmine of content. The situation. The situation. What is that? We got ourselves a situation. With Micah.

Is he still doing that? They're doing a reunion. Hard to say. So this guy's okay. He's okay, man. He's released from the hospital. He's got kids, man. That was a quick turnaround.

He should write a book or sell the movie rights to his life to BJ Novak or something. What, called Middle-Aged Man in the Sea? That's actually Dylan's. Okay. God, jeez. I don't need to take shots over this. Shots, shots, shots. You were just saying how it probably hurts Sish's feelings to get all the old jokes,

and then y'all do them to me all the time. I'm middle-aged, right? Yeah, but we're not on vacation. I could die at 68. That would put me straight up in middle-aged. Oh, we got someone special in the building. Randy's been grinding that wagon on me. The b-b-b-bullet.

Hey, guys. Hi, Brett. Good morning. What's up, fam? Not too much. How are you guys doing? How's the episode so far? Seems like a fun one. Actually pretty torch. Honestly pretty fire. What do you know about lobster diving? Not a whole lot Dave. Join the club. Why are some dudes diving versus other dudes using those baskets? That's what I don't get.

I think diving is more, it's like you're more respected if you dive. That's a valuable lobster if somebody got it by hand, like handcrafted. They get like the big chonky boys down there? Just big, thick. Doesn't Dylan know a lot about diving? This is making me want lobster. What do you mean, Brett? What is that?

Continue. What is that? That one, the tight? Like swimming pool? Yeah, I'll do a flying squirrel like it's nothing. Yeah, what do you mean? Gotcha, okay. I thought I heard something before.

Huh. Austin's finest tiki bar. You guys want to do do you mean? Gotcha. Okay. I thought I heard something before. Huh. Austin's finest tiki bar. You guys want to do some breaking news? Yes. What do you got? Would you like to go extreme droughts? I know there's not one here. We've been getting pissed on.

Okay. Cicadas, which are still ruling the news, or niche northern Michigan cuisine. Ooh. Hey, are we not getting cicadas down here? Like, what's the deal? I think it's just mostly an eastern thing. Or niche northern Michigan cuisine. Ooh. Hey, are we not getting cicadas down here? Like, what's the deal? I think it's just mostly an eastern thing. I thought it was Midwest. We've definitely had cicadas here before.

Let me hear them. They were definitely in Fort Worth, Texas. I've got a vivid memory of my grandpa's house. Those Texas cicadas are built different, though. Yeah. We'll go with cicadas first. Randy, can you help me out here? Okay, Dylan.

That's what we're doing with cicadas nowadays. No, we're not. No, we're certainly not. What in the world? No, no, no, no. Explain to the people what we're looking at. We're looking at the Pizza Bandit in Dayton, Ohio. This is the Spicy Thai Cicada Pie.

A lot of protein tea. That looks absolutely disgusting. It's made out of vegetarians. It's made out of the brood-etched cicadas that are pestering parts of the Midwest and the eastern seaboard. So Dayton decided that we're going to get creative with it. They got a candy shell, T. Man, come on. We're missing out on the action.

That is disgusting. That's bad, dude. You have to sign a waiver because, and I quote, we're not even sure if we can legally sell you locally foraged cicadas. I'm not signing a waiver to eat anything. Locally foraged cicadas. I'm not trying to be able to eat anything. Locally foraged cicadas. Who's making this, by the way? This is the Pizza Bandit in Dayton, Ohio.

Oh, shouts to the Pizza Bandit. Oh, Ohio is doing some fucked up pizza shit? Okay. Yeah. Wow. Leave it to Ohio. Reminder that if you are allergic to seafood, do not eat cicadas. Why? They're not from the sea?

They share a family relation to shrimp and lobsters, according to the FDA. I'm surprised you didn't know that. What if they just taste like lobster? It's tough for the first person to figure that out. There's always first. Sheesh, man. Leave it to Ohio to F up a pizza on you, man. Especially a perfectly good spicy Thai pie, which looks phenomenal otherwise, unless that's pineapple.

That is definitely pineapple. Did you say spicy Thai pie? Yeah, spicy Thai cicada pie. That's what it's called. So what's the sauce? Spicy Thai sauce. Okay. I just get lost.

That's good enough for me. What? There's one pizza it's it's you know how they have like the red sauce and the white sauce I do but it's the cream of some young Thai okay even without the cicada I've got a pizza looks terrible yeah it doesn't Dylan you're a big fan of extreme droughts right oh I hate to extreme droughts. You're talking about... You'd rather have your droughts be extreme than not, though.

Dude, that's a pre-workout name. Extreme famine. Nuclear. Extreme famine. Nuclear drought. Anyway, Nevada's got a pretty bad one going right now, as does most of the West. It's the desert out there. Yeah, it is.

So, in order to help the bighorn sheep population, they're helicoptering in buckets of water for the sheep to chill at. Are you serious? Yeah. Why didn't you just do a deuce when you said that? Because if you imagine you're a sheep and you're just hanging out, you're like, fuck, I'm thirsty. Dude, I'm parched. And they bring in like a, you see the helicopter? And they just do a deuce as a chopper?

Yeah, but they threw a hoof. I'm down bad. My hooves. My hooves are too hot. Don't ignore what he just did. That's pretty good. Down bad. Down bad.

They don't have the black lung, Will. Their throat is dry. They're thirsty, man. They're thirsty. They should just bring in one of the big bison coolers and fill it with water. And the guy that holds it. And the guy. Let that dude. Let that dude just hand deliver one of the big bison coolers and fill it with water. And the guy that holds it. And the guy. Let that dude.

Let that dude just hand deliver them to the sheep. Why is that dude so big? He's huge. They've apparently hauled approximately 55,000 gallons of water to 12 guzzlers for the bighorn sheep in the region. Oh, Dylan. David, stop. So 12 sheep got it? No, no, no.

Just 12 guzzlers. They're like little sheep. Stop saying guzzlers. Yeah, I don't like it. That's what the article says. That was my favorite candy as a child. Guzzlers? Yeah.

It was a knockoff gusher. Oh. We couldn't afford that. We couldn't afford gushers. Couldn't afford the extra 20 cents. No, so we were the dollar store ones. Oh, man. Man, that's sad.

I think they're coming back, though. There's more than 12,000 in the region, up from like 2,500 in 1967. Are these the ones that will charge you? Yeah, they're the ones with the horns. Like Jackass 3D, they're going to hit Steve-O in the nuts? The truck month ones. I think that was one that they did. Do you ever see those things hit each other?

Yeah. Oh. They're all traps. Big traps. Trap kings. Well, I got some news for you. I'm listening. Eater Detroit has just released the top 16 lakefront restaurants in northern Michigan.

Oh, this will be good. Oh, here we go. This will be good. Dude, write a column on this. Clocking in at number... What was it? Number nine. We have Stafford's Pier of Harbor Springs, Michigan.

Dude. How nice do I have to be right now? Zero percent nice. I don't care. It should not be on that list. Oh. It should not be on that list. I'll drag them.

It should not be on that list. It is not cocktail. If you want a cocktail made with two ice cubes, you can go there. If you want a Reuben that's served open-faced on pita bread, you can go there. Who's serving open-faced Reubens on pita bread? No, no, no. You don't see that anywhere.

Certainly not me. Not at my family deli. Don't get me wrong. They have a nice little bar called the Wheelhouse Lounge that is built to look like the ceiling is a ship. It's built different. Pretty tight. Pretty tight. Pretty tight. I've had many nights there.

But I'm not eating there. Damn, dog. It says grab a mint julep to go and sip it in the city's nearby social drinking district. Yeah, that's just the name for the park that Sally and I were supposed to get married in that the city made it nearly impossible to do. So, you know, it's just kind of, it's a fine park. There used to be tennis courts there. They should do it with pickleball courts.

Little pickle. Ooh, Schlesky sandwiches could cater. Order the fish and chips and a pan-roasted walleye with tomatoes, capers, and white wine butter. I've never had the walleye there, but I'm sure it's decent. Walleye. Who's walleye? Walleye.

Don't fight him, Wally. Clocking in at the close ones that are close to Harbor Springs. It's the only Harbor Springs listed on the list. Makes sense. There's only one lakefront restaurant in Harbor Springs. And it's that one. Cafe Sante in Boyne City. Barrelback in Walloon Lake.

I also enjoy Barrelback. Good date spot if you're trying to avoid people you know. Barrelback? Yeah. Blow your back out. Douglas Lake Bar and Steakhouse in Pelsen. Does that come with a dinner? DLB's the GOAT.

If you're going up and you just go there. Do you write this column? Go get prime rib there. Hey, DLB's the GOAT. Question about the Harbor Springs place. Is that the only waterfront restaurant because zoning, they don't want a whole district, they don't want a bunch of stuff, or is it just very expensive? What's the story?

I think that it's either private land or it's just public land. So it's not owned by businesses. It's owned by people who are rich or it's owned by the city. Does that make sense? Yeah. It's a lot of docks, a lot of boats. That sounds awesome. A lot of boats coming in.

My dream is to open up a Joe's Crab Shack up there. Dave, I said there's no chains there. You can't just open a Joe's Crab Shack. What? What can Joe's happen? You just got to grease the right palms. That's true. But as soon as you say Joseph's Crab Shack, it's fine.

Why can't you just call it Dave's Crab Shack? Dave's Lobster Shack. Rock Lobster. I need a lobster. Dave's Lobster Shack. What if we just did a Wilmont? Great. Yeah, you're like the most famous person from there, right?

I'm definitely not. Who is? Probably Joe Dart. Shots of Wolfpack. It's pronounced Dart-ay. Joe Dart-ay. Joe Dart. You know he slaps the base.

Wolfpack fucks. You know he slaps that base. When we're on vacation, Dylan's Joe Dart. Hell yeah, dude. You know I slaps that base. When we're on vacation, Dylan's Joe Dart. Hell yeah, dude. You know I'll burn. He smokes cigarettes. Love that. Over on around how many cigarettes you're going to smoke at Mike's bachelorette party.

I'm going to go through like six packs. How many in a pack? Twelve? Twelve in a pack. You're going to have six. I'm packing cigarettes. How many in a pack? Oh.

How many are in a pack? I don't know. 20? 25? You can pack some? Holy shit. Is that how many? I don't know.

I don't know. I have no idea. That feels right. I've never bought a pack of cigarettes.'t know. 20, 25? You can pack some. Holy shit. Is that how many? I don't know. I don't have no idea. That feels right. I've never bought a pack of cigarettes. Should we just roll them? No. Cole? Keep rolling, rolling.

What if we got Cole Campbell to Micah's bachelor party? I'd just pack a carton of Marlboro Lights. He's not allowed in the country. He can't get through customs. Micah would be so excited for five minutes until we had to deal with Cole Campbell. Yeah. Do you think he's ever been on an airplane? No. Cole Campbell. Yeah. You think he's ever been on an airplane? Cole Campbell? I get it. He's never been on an airplane vibes for a while. He flies private.

What does that mean? He doesn't have a driver's license for one. Canada's different, though. It's built different up north. He's like 24. What, the tectonic plates built it different than other places? Yeah, well, it's the glaciers. Dude's pulling out tectonic plates right now. Dylan, I'm going to take one of your cigarette packs, and I'm goingiers. Dude's pulling out tectonic plates right now.

Dylan, I'm going to take one of your cigarette packs, and I'm going to take out the ricin that you have hidden in there, and I'm going to make you think that I poisoned Micah with it, but it's just going to be like a plant that I had in my backyard. What a terrible prank to pull. I know. That's aggressive. It's burning, not concerning, man. Can't wait.

Number one, Fitzgerald's Restaurant in Eagle River, Will. Oh, wow. Can't wait. Number one, Fitzgerald's Restaurant in Eagle River, Will. Oh, wow. That sounds exclusive. Never been there. The place is good. I will say, the one on your list that if you're looking for recommendations

for a nice dinner on the water, Douglas Lake Bar is the place. DLB. They probably sell like DLB, the stickers that you put on the back of the Subarus. I once did a shitty move at that place. Uh-oh. I knew we a shitty move at that place. Uh-oh.

I knew we were doing credit card roulette. Oh, no. And so I decided to order a round of Hummers for everybody. You guys familiar with Hummers? They're essentially just boozy milkshakes that originated in Detroit, Michigan. I knew them as something else, but okay. Yeah, yeah. Most people did.

Guys. And so I did that, and I was just hoping that I wasn't one of the cards picked. And I think I escalated the tab by about $200 on that one order. That's sick. That's TFM. But your boy did not get his card chosen. That is kind of frat.

I know. Thank you. Dylan, you had a comment about Fitzgerald's. Oh, I said it was goaded. Yeah, I did. I didn't say that. Why do you say that? I just wanted to sneak in.

I hadn't said it yet this week, and I wanted to get one in. Just want to make sure everybody heard. Thank you, Dave. I appreciate you, man. Good wingman over there. Hey, that was a fun episode. My wings. Did you call me Wee Man?

Wingman. Yeah, dude. Is he still alive? I need to get the Pontius impression down so you and I can just do Wild Boys all day. Do Wild Boys, my favorite show. Brett, we got puck tonight, dog. Can't wait, dude. Did you save it?

Brett's doing too much dip. You want to hear some in-depth NHL. Brett and Dylan are just going to go at it. I just don't know anything about hockey. You're picking the Golden Knights to win the Cup. No, I'm not. The Cup sees. I'm not.

I'm picking whoever wins the Tampa New York Series. Nah. Yeah, sorry, dude. Nah. Sorry, dude. Nah. Sorry, dude. Sorry, man.

Wow, I'm not doing that stunt that stunt dude let's get out of here is it time yeah dude bye