Circling Back - Rocked Up For The Masters

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

The day before The Masters officially begins which means the squad is rocked up. We discuss some favorite Masters moments, Elon Musk at Twitter, Zuck’s terrible nickname at Facebook, Dave’s macaque, This Weekend in Fun, and so much more. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:13) This Week in Tech Billionaires (30:07) Dead At The Club (40:30) Will’s 10 Non-Golf Masters Moments (1:01:58) Dave’s Macaque Of The Week (1:08:46) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Lectric Bikes: www.lectricbikes.com (STEAM for a free lock) Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast coming to you live from the Lodge. Presented by Vizzy Heart Seltzer, the only heart seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola my name is will to freeze to my left david ruff what's up are we started i'm sorry i was looking at the masters app have you guys downloaded this app it's a really really high functioning application the ui is great i'd love to see what they're running on the back end really good anyway thanks for having me good to have you here david yeah i mean if i if i kind of like drift in and out here it's because i'm just checking out some of the practice rounds really you know how i am around this time i'm different what nothing i just you're such a dude to get way too into the the master's practice rounds i'm like

you just gotta chill no you just gotta chill out dude it's just like something about the ambiance man and like sounds things of that nature in nature dude you see tiger's ball speed yesterday 171 miles an hour on the range with his driver. Are you serious? I'm not impressed. I hit 110 with a 7-iron on the track. You're not impressed by Tiger Woods. I was very impressed. What's your ball speed?

Mr. Ball Speed over here. Whatever yours is times like 1.3. You don't even have a handicap. Why would I pay someone to calculate my scores for me? It's so dumb. Oh, look at my ear i can see what will's doing over here i can't wait till we get invited it's gonna be so useful for play some never tournament some dope tournament exactly we need joe's handicap exactly and we send him in

and don't like oh i don't have one i don't really i'll just say we get invited to pebble beach just say pro am and then no they're gonna be like can you prove that like there's actual stuff on the line sir who gives a shit? Literally the people that are organizing tournaments. What do you pay for that? Like, I think $40 a year. I think it's less than that. Yeah. Dude, I got a calculator.

You're going to spend more than that on one cup of coffee and a picnic. Hey, how about you pay me $30 and I'll just do it for you? I would not trust you. That's my new business. I'm just going to undercut wherever that dumbass app you guys use is. I'll use a calculator. I'm just going to start keeping yours for you. So the next time you try to be like, I'm going to look about what Will is.

I'm going to be like, no, you're actually playing at a 16 right now, dumbass. Oh, a 16? That's fair. I might be a 16 right now. I mean. I'm not a good golfer. Based on that viral video, it might take a while to calculate his. Did you see me do work with the flat stick, you dumbass?

I really didn't. Oh, really? Because you were on my team. No, I'm talking about ACC. Yeah, come on, dude. I did fine on the back, dog. Fine. You're hella defensive right now.

I struck the ball well. Why are you getting aggressive? Yeah, why are you getting so defensive, dude? Drop a pin for me then, bitch. Hey, I want to be the first to congratulate. I'm sitting right next to you. Can I be the first to congratulate Dylan Sun Parks? He's striping it. Oh my

gosh, dude. Just hitting the cover off the ball. You need to post that. Should I? Yeah, why? You post every other hit he's got in your story. Why do you not post him absolutely belting one? He just smoked one up the middle. Almost took the pitcher's head off. He's culturally strong. He got two ribs on that one. Not a smoked one up the middle. Almost took the pitcher's head off.

He's country strong. He got two ribs on that one. Not a big deal. Two ribbies. Damn. Were they Maryland Mansons? I'm proud of him, man. Some of the parents on the team, they're like, stop, dude.

That was good. Some of the parents on the team came up to me after the game. They were like, I didn't even recognize Parks out there. Like, this kid has changed so much since game one. Like, yeah.

That was two weeks ago. He's absolutely piping now. Does he enjoy it? is he having fun okay i was a little worried there for a little bit that he was gonna hate it he gets on first base after he gets a hit and he like does a little fist pump every time it's it's mad cute mad cute doesn't he like pat his chest and then kiss his hands and then point at the sky which i could invite all the listeners to one of his games but that might get a little out of control. He doesn't do the same. He's so-so. I want to teach him how to spit into his gloves in between every pitch.

Is he pee-peeing on his hands? Step out of the box. Is he what? Is he pee-peeing on his hands for calluses? No, David. He doesn't piss on his hands. Do they test with that? Do they test for steroids in Little League?

No, man. If he wants to start juicing, we steroids in Little League? No, man. If he wants to start juicing, we can definitely visit that. No, you need to wait a couple years for that. Why? You don't want to stun his endocrine system. He is the smallest kid on his team, so he could use some vitamin S. Dude, he's in a perfect place. He's learning all the skills.

And when he grows to be like, I don't know, 5'10", maybe like my size. I didn't even tell you all this. He made a diving stop at second base yesterday. Really? He didn't really – it wasn't – like dive wasn't super necessary, but he did it anyway and made the stop. I talked to the manager. He's trying to get sports that are top ten.

He is. I heard they're trying to put him on the hot corner. He didn't quite have the arm strength for the hot corner like his old man did, but, you know, he's still – like I said, he's little. He's got some growing to do. If we did a washed baseball baseball team where's everyone playing put me at third okay i'm at second no doubt okay i feel like brett's got pitcher vibes he would want to be brett always wants to be the showcase guy like if we had a football team he'd

be like no i'm the quarterback i play in a mean hot corner man in softball where are you putting me uh you're catching i don't i don Where are you putting me? You're catcher. I don't want to be catcher. You're catcher. Sorry. I think I'm first base. Are we doing machine pitch? Because you could be the guy that puts the ball on the machine.

I can catch it. I don't have much of a throw. You're catcher. No, I don't want to be catcher. I can't catch fastballs and curveballs and sinkers and stuff. It's slow pitch softball. No, I'm talking about doing fast pitch. Oh, yeah. Then you can't catch.

No, I'm not doing catcher. That's literally the last position i want to do knowing this fucker you could play first we'd have him we'd tell him he's gonna be the catcher and he would show up and he'd be just reading catcher in the rye because he's such a he's such a book guy knowing him this son of a bitch this son of a biscuit i hated that joke i i had to really get your attention to work it in and i'm happy about it that stonk randy's playing second base number randy's playing centerfield it's a compliment i can see you gotta have you gotta have range i can see randy going centerfield he always drags about his speed let's let's he's arguing now i think you need me at first because I think I have confidence that I can catch what you throw at me,

but you don't want me trying to turn two or something. You're going to see some baseball thrown into the stands. You don't put a left hander in the middle infield, so first base will work for you. Thank you. I can't crouch that long to be captured, dude. I caught it once, and it was tough on my knees, man.

I don't have the leg strength for that. I got these little... Yeah, you got those little toothpicks over there? Yeah. Didn't they call you Toothpick back in the day? No. Probably me. Rude.

I feel bad now. I didn't really put it together back in high school, but we had this chunky kid in high school, and we called him Toothpick, and he did like the nickname, but now that I'm looking back on it, we were just saying that because he was short and a little overweight. Why Toothpick. And he did kind of, he did like the nickname. But now that I'm looking back on it, like we were just saying that because he was short and a little overweight. Why Toothpick? Because it was kind of like an ironic nickname.

I thought maybe he did a mad toothpick from the diving board or something. No, but I think he embraced it so much that he started like having a toothpick in his mouth all the time. That's sick. Yeah, like I think he actually started like. Like Razor Ramon? Rest in peace, Scott Hall. What'd he do? Toothpick, throw it chico mom oh when you said razor i thought he was like carrying a razor around all the time yeah that

too that sounds a little scary god y'all don't get one of his games man dude for sure yeah i'll be there no i want to go what are you talking why don't be don't be like that it's my son i've already told you i wanted to get invited like what most of the time i go and find friends and see that you're already there. And I'm like, oh, cool. I'll just go F myself. He's getting some confidence, dog. I might post that vid.

Stay tuned. I'm glad the mechanics I've been showing him are working. He's got a little hitch in his swing. We're going to fix that. But he's still working for himself. Well, I showed him that video of Julio Franco. And I said, this is the model. Please don't show him that. he know who griffey is have you shown him griffey's swing i haven't that's

the only swing he should ever watch it's not a good swing to replicate though why it's very long that doesn't play in coach pitch or machine pitch baseball it's not one that you want to model your swing after you know maybe that's why I never made it I was always I was always trying to do Mark McGuire didn't really work out one of them have like an Alex Bregman swing and I hate to say that because that he's a an astral but it just a dope swing. People forget Alex Bregman once DM'd a guy who suggested that the Astros should trade him. An Astros fan who actually went to Texas State. I know of the guy. Friend of a friend.

But he DM'd him to talk shit to him. This is like Bregman's rookie year, maybe his second year. That's my dream. I would love to have a professional athlete talking shit to me in my DMs. And it wasn't like a mean tweet he sent. He said, I think they should consider trading bregman getting some pitching something like reasonable maybe looking back not a great take but he didn't like it did he have you ever had it he just he dm'd him i had a pro i had i've had one pro athlete talk to me online and he

has since deleted the tweet which upsets me because i would really like to just have that i had a very known soccer commentator started talking shit to me in my dms because i responded to a column that he wrote which was just straight up stupid can i read the story what oh about the the the dm slide bregman yeah um keep in mind this is from bleacher report uh at no point did alan i guess that's the guy tag bregman in any of his tweets about trading him and as far as goes, his initial tweets about dealing the former first-round pick were decidedly tame. If you didn't tag him and he still reached out, like, he had to search his name, obviously. Like, that's a bad look, Bregs.

He said, you've never played, so you don't know anything. I'd be like, hey, dude, why are you at me, dog? Give me the at. Yeah, at me, bitch boy. I'm trying to stack follows right now. Please at me If you're gonna talk Draw that booty trash

Hey drop a pin bitch That's what I would've said He deleted his Twitter account after that Bregman Yeah That's tough You can monetize that

He probably brought it He's probably back now He's got more perspective Maybe thicker skin Is that slowing him down Around the bases? A skin joke. I can't really be one to criticize any jokes today,

but that was a skin joke. Don't you have bookmarked that Mr. Skin website? Yeah. That's cool. Can I have your login? I'll airdrop it to you. Can you airdrop passwords? No.

Yesterday, we did a Worst Of episode. Talked about a guy who got banned from the Masters. Talked about a dude who lost his virginity in a really weird way. We talked about a lot of things, to be honest. Go over to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. As always, voicemails are tomorrow. 888-618-4422. Get in.

Get out. Be tactical. If there's ever a time to get your voicemails in, it's right now. Yesterday was a dope episode. I'll go, I'm going to put that out there. I want to be on record saying it was a mega dope episode.

If you missed it, you're just an idiot. I'm sorry that you did fix that though. Patrons. If you're not a patron, you're actually missing a lot right now. You are just going to say that you've got a game show coming up soon. Yeah,

but something, something went up just patron exclusive today. And yeah, you might be missing out if you didn't do it so enjoy your enjoy your uh non-patron a nice little treat for the patrons yep uh but without further ado uh dylan can you give us the sound effect oh we have a new sponsor new sponsor alert we all like riding a bike but you know in austin texas it gets a little sweaty here. And then you start to get a little swampy downstairs. And you're like, man, I wish this thing could just pedal itself. If only there was a bike that required very minimal effort.

But what if there's one that, you know, is electric, but wouldn't be as pricey as like these other things? Finally, there's an e-bike made for everyone. I'm talking about Letrick e-bikes. And they start at just $999. They're the fastest growing e-bike company in the U.S., and it's easy to see why. Letrick bikes are affordable, customizable. They ship for free, fully assembled, and plus, they quickly fold in half. No bike rack or truck required. You can leave the car at home, save on gas, and save the planet when you explore and commute on Letrick e-bikes. Dylan, you've been riding this thing around the neighborhood nonstop lately yes i've had mine for i want to say

month month and a half or something like that i wasn't prepared for how much fun these things are i've been absolutely cruising through the neighborhood um there's so much fun they have a little they have surprising like speed to them they got a little pickup to them they're just an absolute blast if you want to pedal if you want to get the you know sweat going a little bit you can but guess what you also don't have to because it's electric and it's dope when i come over saturday i'm gonna bring some pegs and put some pegs on it that's fine i'm gonna pump a little here's a true story my fiancee you guys know her as bae uh she's been like hey man why don't you get this electric bike out of our living room i'm tired of it being here i'm like well how about you just calm down a

little bit i didn't say that really oh you gas lit her finally one day um i i walked downstairs she's nowhere to be found neither is the bike she took it for a spin comes back 15 minutes later she said i'm sorry about what i said i don't want this to leave our living room i want it to be right here so i can enjoy it whenever i want yeah well i got bad news for bay it's leaving your living room i know i'm taking to the office probably your last if i'm her i'm trying to get my rides in right now because it's about to be over i told her it's going to the office and she's like well can you bring it home on the weekends i'm gonna bunny hop so hard on saturday maybe i'll maybe maybe i'll take it home on the weekends for you.

Can I give the people just a rundown of what these things can do? They're so much fun. They're on a mission to make e-bikes more accessible for everyone, which is why they're starting at just $9.99, which is way less than any of the competition. They're adjustable and customizable, so they're comfortable, even for people who don't normally ride bikes. And like we said, they fold up, ship free, and come pre-assembled.

You can just hop on it. The battery is hidden away, and there's an LCD display featuring speed, range, and adjustable power levels. These have thousands of five-star reviews. Get to where you need to go over any terrain, including snow and sand. 45 miles and up to 28 miles per hour on just a four to six hour charge. Way more ego-friendly than a car, so you can explore the great outdoors or a city while keeping the air clean. I'm just catching a vibe through the neighborhood.

All the moms are in the front yards like taking their tops off and shit. It's crazy. Dude, Dylan, chill out. Join the affordable e-bike revolution. Go to electricebikes.com and use code STEAM to get a free foldable,

mountable e-bike or bike lock with any bike purchase. That's a free bike lock when you use code steam at l-e-c-t-r-i-c e-b-i-k-e-s.com electric e-bikes.com promo code steam they have a little basket attachment that we're going to get by the way yeah i hate to tell you read um and we're going to send after he interrupted me like 10 times like r Randy to go pick up tacos for us and just put them in the basket and bring them back.

Can you do us a favor before you bring it to the office? Will you put the seat back on it? Yeah, that'd be great. You guys hear about these tech billionaires? No. Oh, what are the billionaires up to? How many e-bikes could Elon Musk buy right now? He's the richest man in the world.

Is he? Shit. Who do you guys want to start with in this week in Tech Billionaires? Musk or Zuck? Ooh, let's do the Zuckster. You never intro Dylan, by the way. Oops. You Zuck, baby.

Let's go Zuck. Who do you want? You want a Zuck? At this point, I don't need an intro. All right. So all of us know that zuckerberg's just kind of a weirdo uh he might just be a robot or an alien uh but he went on the tim ferris show a very popular podcast and he shared that like him his own employees uh lovingly he said lovingly

call him the eye of Sauron. Dylan, can you tell me what the Eye of Sauron is? Can you explain this to everybody at home so they can get some kind of perspective on what that means? I have no idea what the Eye of Sauron means. Okay. Does anybody here know what that means without looking it up? I mean, I know the gist of it. Really? But because we need – can we call in our nerd correspondent right now?

You got Randy on the line? Hey, Randy, can you explain to Dylan what the Eye of Sauron is? I guess so, yeah. It's from Lord of the Rings, the Dark Lord Sauron. He could see everything around there, so he's always watching and he's pretty evil. Evil? He's evil. Yeah, man.

Oh, so it's not a nice term. No, the fact that he's repping, that employees call him lovingly this is a huge red flag. This guy stinks, man. I got to kind of take issue with what he said. While not factually incorrect, I think he left out some important notes. Are you Lord of the Rings guy too? It was a symbol adopted by the Dark Lord in the Third Age. It was said that few could endure its terrible gaze.

adopted by the dark lord in the third age it was said that few could endure its terrible gaze the eye was used as a symbol on armor and banners of mordor representing sauron's quasi omnipotence for sure you just knew all that and with it sauron searched for it and tracked the paths of the ring bearer frodo baggins at the end of the third age obviously so yeah randy i i don't mean to, like, I'm trying to show you up, but that is kind of a little bit more of what it is. I think my favorite thing about this is just, like, how obvious it is that Facebook hires just a bunch of dorks

to come up with this nickname. You know what I mean? Lord of the Rings is not, I mean, a lot of people like that. I enjoy their movies. Lord of the Rings movies are hard. Dave, this is on some nerd shit. I hate to say movies. Lord of the Rings movies are hard. Dave, this is on some nerd shit. I hate to say it. Lord of the Rings movies are hard.

You know what? You can't call Lord of the Rings nerd shit if you enjoyed Game of Thrones. Oh. It's on the same point. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Smoke it, bitch. Snort it, why don't you? Butt chug it.

I don't care what you do. Put it somewhere. Stick it in there. What are you doing? If you're're gonna call one nerdy these things are neck and neck these game of thrones have like set like sex and dragons and shit well you don't think front of smashers they don't have the sex what's her name dumped him out calise dumped him out for a player a lot of there was a lot of dump out there's even some peen and i was gonna say do they do penis in Lord of the Rings

probably not man cause it's for dorks what was it you always called Bilbo Baggins you had a different name for him I don't know who that is

I don't even know who that is no that's a video Randy sent me why do you always gotta get perverted with it man Randy's the one who sent me the video

hey pervert alert over there white cap white cap third mic dum-dum promo code what's our roback promo code backer 20 backer 20 if you want this dope hat 20 off first one time use code thank you i'm trying to think of like any villain name that we could like if we found out that brett and randy called us this behind our backs like what

would what would be the most jarring i heard they've been calling you zuck the three cuckateers that'd be tough who's like the biggest marvel villain thanos thanos i thought elizabeth holmes started that company thanos i'd like to i'd like to seek no investment into my company. I started Theranos. Revolutionizing blood. Theranos. Sorry.

One drop of blood. Theranos. Don't mind if I just go home. I would not want to be. There's some good Marvel ones And as a Marvel guy If I find out they were calling me Loki I would be like I get it

That's fair I'm not happy about it but I understand I've only heard them call you Loki Thick They call you Groot I'm Groot You are the Grootiest of all Why? Because I bring the wood? understand i've only heard them call you low-key thick what they call you groot i'm groot you are the gruteest of all why because i bring the wood right you're constantly aroused i heard they've been calling me thor just because i'm on like my shreddy weddy plan right now thor gains a lot of weight at one point are you trying to get jacked or are you trying to get slim like which one i'm

trying to lean out okay yeah okay i want to cut like seven pounds but like good seven pounds you know why don't you just sweat it out because i'll just drink water and i'll gain it right back yeah i want to lose it like lose it lose it we're gonna get you an exercise like one of those fan exercise bikes and then we're gonna wrap you in trash bags in the hotel room before the wedding and you're just gonna go to town remember say you're gonna look i'm gonna sage it i'm gonna hit the bathtub you're not going to be wearing your suit your suit's going to be wearing you when you walk down the aisle you're going to be emaciated swimming and i'm going to beebs it you're going to look like connor when he fights

in a really low weight looks like shit yeah looks unhealthy like borderline death a lot of those guys do and then they gain they gain like 24 pounds in 24 hours. Doesn't that sound healthy? And then they go get punched in the head. Right. I don't have anything else on Zuck. I want to think of what Bill and Dylan would be. Zuck is my least favorite billionaire.

Can we get Randy back on? It's because he's the least swag billionaire. He has negative swag. If you're around him, your swag drops because he's in your vicinity. Randy, we're giving you... We are giving you... Let's give him 20 minutes. One minute, and we are not going to ever hold it against you.

You have to come up with a Marvel villain, or any villain, really, for each of us. And we won't hold it against you long-term. I don't know. I think Dylan's the guy from Iron Man 3 before he had his metamorphosis When he was just a hunchback What is that supposed to mean bitch

That dude stinks What is that supposed to mean dog That dude stinks Damn He turned hot It means your posture is absolute trash Is my posture bad This guy went from zero to anti-hero

I feel like my posture bad this guy went from zero to anti-hero i think my posture is like fine i'll give will mickey rourke and iron man too i don't know what that means but tight he was on the monitor the track at monaco just true he did like zapping fools and shit high if i was a villain that could do whatever i wanted yeah i'd probably go to monaco yeah i'll give you loki i'll give you Loki, David. Why does Dave get what he wants? That's kind of... You're pandering right now, Randy.

I don't want to think of one. Who gave you that watch that's on your wrist? Dude, yours is tight. He's got a toothpick in. Yeah. This is tight. Yeah, I'm definitely him. He stinks.

You stink, baby. Can we talk about Elon real quick? Yeah. Well, he's now the largest shareholder in twitter and he's been added to the board yeah and he's i'll tell you what he's doing man he's on twitter like teasing that he might make some some mega changes to twitter and he even says something about an edit button and guess what elon if you push through an edit button on twitter i'm gonna drive down to the tesla gigafactory in east austin and i'm gonna take a whiz on the side of your building man i'm gonna whiz on it because it's gonna it's gonna be a major detriment to the experience of twitter i agree i don't know if i would take a whiz on the side of the gigafactory. Well, maybe you should consider it. He's a job creator, man.

An edit button. Dude, typos on Twitter are like half the fun. Yeah. I would say 25% of viral tweets are just viral because like Stephen A or somebody. It'll take a lot of fun away. Because Trump tweets Cavafey. There you go. The crowd that wants an edit button might be like the dumbest crowd on Twitter.

They're stupid. It's the dumbest people on Twitter in favor of an edit button. He did a poll, I think, and it was overwhelmingly yes. Like, I want an edit button. If you ask me whether or not more people on Twitter are dumb versus smart, I would say dumb. Most people are stupid. Yeah. It makes sense because it's my favorite platform and I am a dumbass yeah that's you probably voted yes the people who won an edit

button are the people that were doing kofif jokes like two weeks after the fact like those are probably us those are those people that's our bit though that we run things into the ground two weeks late like it's just the dumbest people in the world that think that would be fun will he find enough support to give someone who might have been a president their twitter account back i believe it has been announced that will not be happening who announced it um i saw daily mail reporting it i don't know where the word officially came from. But Donald Trump will remain suspended. Pervert alert. I think he deserves the keys back. I do kind of like how he has to issue press releases.

You just see what he's saying through screenshots. He's just a content machine. We all know that. How does musk have time to do this time i don't know i i just think in the grand scheme of what he wants to accomplish uh with like tesla and spacex and things like that i just don't understand why you want to take on all twitter's baggage is this is this the proverbial shiny object? Yes. In the business book? Yes. Yeah, so he's getting away from what he's good at and he's chasing that shiny object. Yeah. I actually, I think we're going to make some changes around this company. I think we're all going to read one business book a month. Ooh, okay. Randy, do you know how to read?

When's the last time you read a book,andy twitter says it will not reinstate trump despite elon musk vowing significant change so it's out there i mean he's just the biggest shareholder i don't think he's gonna i don't think he's gonna like call that many actual shots i hope not i almost feel like he's a distraction from like actual issues at twitter that are happening. They're like, you know what? Fuck it. If Elon wants in, let's get him in. Is Jack on board?

Jack, I think he's just totally taking a step back from everything. No, he has, but I'm just curious because he's founder, right? Co-founder? Yeah. I don't know what his deal is. Does Elon just want to get in the tech game just to rival Zuck a little bit more? Why do these billionaires not talk shit to each other? If Elon Musk was actually talking shit to Mark Zuckerberg, then I would be into this. I think he's just bored and is running out of things to do with his money.

So I'm just going to buy a big piece of Twitter. I don't think he's bored. I think he's got a lot on his plate. Is he still with Grimes? No. She's actually moved on. I think she has a new boyfriend. Oh. I think I saw a video about that. Was she known before Grimes? No. She's actually moved on. I think she has a new boyfriend. Oh.

I think I saw a video about that. Was she known before they linked? Yeah. Okay. Not by you and I. We're not in that Grimes world. No. We're on the Elon side of the relationship.

We're tech bros. Were they ever married or just a couple? Celebrities don't get married these days. Like JoJo and What's-His-Face have been just honeydicking us for way too long. They're getting married. Or they're... She's had a bachelorette party. Okay.

He also proposed to her like five years ago. On TV, though. The first ever bachelor season we covered was JoJo's season. And it's gone downhill since then. It was legitimately the best season. We had Chad. We had the short marine guy. We had the short Marine guy. We had the boner doctor.

Most importantly, we had JoJo. And JoJo. Joelle. Her brothers. Remember her brothers? That family? It was a ridiculous family. Just honestly, the best season.

She's fantastic. Sorry, Bae. Sorry, Bay. I'm just reading Elon's timeline right now. He's not sending these tweets. Yeah, I think he does. I think he's pretty hands-on, man. I think he's got a team. Nah.

You probably get to a certain level of wealth and success that you just want to take a step back and shit post so he's there and now he can own the company he's going to be shit posting on or at least a good portion of it his first tweet after buying 9.2 of twitter was oh hi lol yeah see i i don't 66 66 000 i feel like i've watched enough of his interviews to realize that he doesn't really have like a funny bone 73.6 of people say they would like an edit button no that's not he no because you know what they're gonna have to have like the i assume if they got an edit button it would be like reddit where you could see it was edited and when it was edited it's just too much too much to follow i i like the typo same dog kvaffay and then they tried to say no that's what we call

it it's just a thing that we do your boy uses the word wrong you just he just doubles down no it also means that affidavit that's just a mispronunciation motherfucker god yeah i can't believe you're such a sheep that you think he's just sending every tweet i think he is sheeple you think one of his people tweeted oh hi lol i think he's probably he's got i think he's got like a young dude that's just like yeah that'd actually be good he doesn't tweet very much i think he's got a young dude that's just like, yeah, that'd actually be good. He doesn't tweet very much. I think it's him. Not him. He'll respond. He'll respond to a Bitcoin meme account or someone about Doge.

Which, by the way, I've gotten a little bit more into her catalog after her Grammy win. Pretty good. Oh, you're doing a Dogecat. That's sick. I'm not proud of myself i like that you got in right when she quit music did she really apparently she quit music yeah oh she'll be back are you sure what's she doing hard to say just post posting good tiktoks she's smoking that doge stop that was worse than mine oh i think mine was pretty good we have a video we need to

bring to the timeline it's probably already been seen by a lot of people on the timeline uh dave can you talk about this rapper i'm unfamiliar with him until now uh gunu or gunu he's a maryland-based rapper and uh that is the extent of my knowledge on him and his hip-hop career. However, he did have a fan base. I think it was largely regional. And he was assassinated. He was murdered, tragically, like six weeks ago. How did he get got?

He was murdered. He was, I think, shot. Who caught the body? I don't know, man. Anyway. You know what that means shot. Who caught the body? I don't know, man. Anyway. Are we going to... You know what that means? Will to catch a body?

What is his deal? I don't know. It means to end someone's life. What is his deal? This man was murdered, Dylan. Yeah. Let's get through the serious part of the story before we get to the funny part of the story.

For just $40, maybe 40 points too, $40 at the door, you could go into a club and celebrate his life as he, his soulless body as he was deceased, clothed, was just propped up on the stage. Wearing a crown. king um a hoodie and just really really kind of just pretty drippy honestly yeah that's look they nailed the fit very much not moving as he is a dead man i would love to nail a fit like this in the afterlife the uh i have a question his on never mind okay never mind i would love to weigh in but for the first time in podcast history randy's not on his phone so he's not receiving my texts asking him to turn the screen on right here so we can see the video i didn't know if he was waiting for that man you're killing this man i didn't want to say i mean i've been texting him and he's just sitting there stoically i'm like

yeah he's he's he's in his own world right now just just actually producing on one hand this obviously seems like really weird to go to a club and they do just a dead person just standing up on stage but i mean people go to open casket like memorials all the time i've only been to a couple open caskets and i have decided to not go up and see it. Yeah. I have no desire to do that. I honestly think it's bizarre. I think it's weird when people do that. And I just, does that happen that often anymore?

Yes. I don't know. I haven't been to one in a minute. They freak me out. Have you ever been to a wake? I don't know. I think that's a largely, maybe entirely Catholic thing. Maybe not.

I just jump wakes, man. A wake is essentially this without the live music. And they're usually not standing up either. Let's play the video, Randy. For the people watching at home. YouTube.com slash watched media. How did they? It's a good, this is a good video.

He's getting the entire fit. What's that brand? Well, I don't know. I'm not familiar with it. Uh, I have no clue who chose who chooses the fit for this. Oh,

that's gotta be, that's gotta be immediate family members. Can I give you, he didn't choose it. I want to be a good crowd. Will you guys bear me in pretty much just what I'm wearing now? I'm hella comfortable right now. And I want to wear this in the afterlife.

If one of you guys passes away, I hope it doesn't happen, but if one of you guys passes away, should we prop you up in front of the mic for one episode? Yeah. While the other two? You got a weekend at Bernie's, man. I'll give you permission to just put me in front of the mic while you guys carry on.

What did we name Skelly? No need to turn my mic up because I'm not going to say anything because I'll be a dead man. I don't remember what we named him do you remember what we named him um no would you if you were there would you be like watching the whole time to see if he like had like a nerve reaction and moved are there rules against this are there rules against bringing dead people out and just like you know doing stuff with them i don't know i feel like there should be you can't desecrate

a corpse what does desecrate mean does this dude have bars creation did he have bars i'm not familiar with this music what what does desecrate mean desecrate like destroy mess up destroy okay i mean i i just don't i don't understand i't know, like, what lawmaker would put it into place that, like, you know, like, what governor is going to be like, yeah, I'm signing this bill to make sure that you can't, like, prop up dead people in clubs. This shit is so weird, man. Prop 101. Yeah.

There you go. Yeah. This would, no, if open casket funerals and wakes, those are illegal, then there's nothing wrong with this. It's just a different, unique way of doing it. He did get the fit off, though. Do you think, Randy, this is...

You can give me a nod if you agree. Do you think his soul was watching from the astral plane? He nods. Yes, he does. He agrees. What does that mean? Similar to the ancient one i'm looking at videos of him like when he's alive and it's just it's weirding me out

because now he's not because now he's dead yeah i don't like this video can we move on dylan can you give us uh how many people you watch do stuff i know the screen that is because his lifeless body is all I knew Until I saw him alive That is a weird way To introduce somebody Facts It's like Lennon's tomb I wanna check out

His catalog man He might have just Mad bars Oh well Let's do it after this Well you Can not play jazz For one

Post pod And you can put on Uh Gunu Damn I'm not saying There's anything wrong with the jazz you put on actually lately you've been you've been on your dead shit i have been as you you become a original deadhead fan yeah i i'm the i'm the first ever person to listen to grateful dead just ground

floor yeah that's why we hired him we have uh dude i think in a past life i was like jerry garcia really yeah yeah dude someone's definitely said that dead serious million i feel like like hundreds of thousands of people have said that dead serious okay uh we have we're on to the next uh news what yeah what just happened what did you just do i'm'm looking at GNU shit, man. I'm freaked out, man. Did you accidentally stumble upon the crime scene or something? No, no.

Because you reacted like you might have. No, it's just people are memeing it, and it's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. I'm not going to meme it. I'll tell you that. I don't... You know the meme of the guy standing in the corner of a party? Like, they don't know I blank.

Okay, I know where this is going. They just replaced that guy with this dude's lifeless body. They don't know I'm dead? They don't know I'm dead. I think they all know he's dead. Oh, man. That's a meme that will never not be funny. It's a funny one.

Anyway, on another much lighter note, we have another new sponsor. Oh, Dylan decides. Second new sponsor second new sponsor well he said we needed to do it okay he runs the ship here steers the ship uh mugsy they paid for this muggsy's are the most comfortable men's jeans on the planet built with proprietary stretch denim these jeans look stylish but feel like you're wearing sweatpants so the most damn comfortable pants around jeans around one mugsy customer even said i used to hate jeans now i don't and these jeans are literally changing people's lives you guys have you guys all know that i've i'm i'm not anti-jeans but i've had a

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Or the one I used to do with Ross. Backdoor cover, Micah. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I've had these jeans for a while, and they are extremely comfortable. Extremely. I've worn the absolute shit out of my Mugsy jeans. Well said. these are never too baggy never too skinny and always just right and over everything they represent comfortability

and style wearing their jeans you will never sacrifice feeling good for looking good so you can look great feel great and be your best self rocking muggsy's because you know or because you feel comfortable and confident and you can take on whatever the day throws you. I mean, a big issue that I've always had with jeans is that they feel limiting to me until you wear them in. But their stretch fabric, it's just different. Yeah. I've started a movement where I just won't wear jeans that are not just mad comfortable. First thing I do when I put on a pair of jeans, a squat, just a bodyweight squat. You go to the gym.

I do the exact same thing, Dave. I do when I put on a pair of jeans, a squat, just do a body weight squat. You go to the gym. I do the exact same thing, Dave. I do the exact same thing. And Mugsy, it's not restrictive. It's legitimately like I'm rocking some sweatpants. That's what it feels like. They also have a denim jacket, which I'm hopefully going to get my hands on here pretty soon. And I can't wait. They've removed the excess fabric that normally hangs off for a fit that just looks good and

their founder leo personal friend of mine actually people people don't realize that dicaprio no his name's leo he spent five years and tested out thousands of denims before landing on the perfect denim blend he and i were friends at miami Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Is that true? I kind of feel like we should link and build. This is news to me. Mm-hmm. Okay. It was a non-hazing fraternity, but if they did haze, then I'm... Anyway, never mind.

And these also are cotton-based, so they're breathable. That's big, too, for your boy. I get so hot. I'm trying to breathe down there, man. Yeah. Yeah, we got a promo code. I know how you get it. It's STEAM for 10% off.

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week if you guys haven't seen uh everyone on your timeline just like volume shooting master's content well you got your head under the sand. Dude, I'm loving this app, this phone application. That was another way that idiots would always start to call them. Or like, unless you've been living under a rock, you know that blank. Yeah, okay. Dude, I'm out on the Masters. You know why? They let those guys, the Dude Perfect guys, go and film there.

Disgusting. The heck out of here. Disgusting. They desecrated Augusta, manusta man honestly i'm legit pissed off dave i don't even think this falls on the actual guys i think the people that like had a hand in producing it i think those are the real people with bloods on blood on their hands like camera guy they're social media guy what's his problem you see you see they're going paintballing inside the Sistine Chapel next week? That's sick. It's going to be awesome.

Dude, that is so sick. My wife just texted me. She said, this is verbatim, these dude perfect guys are being mentioned during this press conference at the Masters. The chairman is talking about them. I wonder what he's saying. Chairman had to sign off on them boys being out there, right? On Billy Payne and this.

It's not Billy Payne anymore, right? I'm not sure. Are you Billy Payne? No? That was for you, Dave. Who wants to know? Yeah, thank you. That is a very, very obscure reference.

Why did you just look up? Did you just look up chairman? It just showed me literal masters pop-up chairs. It's because you Googled who's the chair fred ridley excuse me billy payne's the dickhead fred ridley might be too what billy payne do i use very very sanctimonious criticizing tiger after the uh oh i don't know okay yes the guy had like 38 out of what wedlock affairs sure he decided to weigh in on the the moral compass of didn't really need that from the

chairman of Augusta. Yeah, I'm sure Augusta has no skeletons in their closet. No, nothing at Rays Creek. Ike's Pond. Ike's Pond, Rays Creek too. Chad threw a vortex in there, he told us. Dude, we used to have a party. We called it Pike's Pond. We would just like fucking... That's a good idea.

We would just fill the basement with water and then we would get a bunch of golf clubs and we'd throw them in there and then we'd make like a foam party and people would just like trip on the golf clubs and stuff. That sounds like a fire hazard. That's a dumb idea for a party. Electrocution hazard.

Dude, it was fucking sick. Foam parties are so overrated. I hate, I went to exactly one and I vowed never to go back and I never did. They're disgusting. I've come up with 10 i've come up with a list can i read you on my list uh sure these are my 10 non-golf master moments that dudes get rocked up for can you on a scale of 1 to 10 can you guys tell me how rocked up you get

what let's define rocked up what do you mean? I mean you get hard for it. You get really excited for it. You're just fired up. You're H for it. You're H on the TL. I normally don't engage in this kind of humor, but I guess I will for the sake of the pod. Okay. These are non-golf moments from the Masters that dudes get rocked up for.

Number one, the first Masters commercial during football season. No. Oh, dude. Did you see that? Oh, dude. They played one of the commercials. No. Oh, dude. Did you see that? Oh, dude. They played one of the commercials. No.

That's not. If you're like me, you're thinking about it every day. So a commercial is not going to change it. That's some Norman shit. Step your game up, pimp. When do they start the commercials? Football season. Do they?

Yes. Yeah. I'll give it three out of ten rocks. Okay. Okay. So that's not even semi. Right. I mean, it's like, okay. It's on the horizon. A little chop it three out of ten rocks. Okay. Okay. So that's not even semi. Right. I mean, it's like, okay, it's on the horizon.

A little choppy. Semi-wide. It's happening again next year. Okay. Great. I'm excited. Number two, when your boy who's going asks if you want any merchandise. Ooh.

Not cheap. No one has ever asked me that question. Maybe because I've already been there and i purchased merch myself maybe it's because your friends are nf yeah that's very nf that is true that's part of it too except for eugene eugene it might be the fratest dude we know i could i could use some updated merch though okay no that is uh that's about a four and a half i'm gonna get five and a half rocks five and a half rocks okay uh number three re-downloading the master's app. Or conversely, for the real hardos out there, moving the master's app from your library down to the home bar.

Doesn't apply to me. It's always at the home bar. I think Thumb Zone is more prime real estate than the home bar is, at least for me. Like the one to two rows right above the home bar. This app is presented by IBM. Did you know, the one to two rows right above the home bar. This app is presented by IP, IBM. Did you know that?

I didn't know that. Yeah. I don't, I don't delete it. I don't even think I have it right now. Are you kidding? No, I'll download it.

I'll download it. You know what? You know what? It's great. iPad. They fuck shit up on the iPad front. All all right you guys aren't rocked up for this at all because you just have it on there all the time number four the first the first hello friends on sunday i guess not he only really does one but when when jim nance gets

on the screen on sunday it's just different than the other days that didn't do a lot for me. Okay. I'm going to give it one rock. Nance, he doesn't really do, he doesn't make it move. Okay. He's not moving the needle. He moves it for me. I'm a big Nance guy, but I don't look out for him saying that.

He moves it for me. Okay. I'm a Nance guy. I give five rocks to that. Number five, dudes, you don't get rocked up for this, but this is just dudes getting rocked up for themselves. This is dudes posting their outdoor TV setup with trays of pimento cheese

sandwiches and cups from the Masters. This is us on Saturday. This is nine rocks. Like these guys brought their cups home and they wash them and they bring them out once a year. I'm busting a hole through the drywall. What about how rocked up do you get seeing just a few dudes out there with like hockey sticks and vortexes just 10 10 rocks just throwing darts at the fox tail did you see the fox tail thing

they need to hit the xylo what's the xylophone you don't remember xylos dude i don't oh man there are these little there are these little round uh i don't want to call it it's like it looks like a piece of plastic that has been rolled into like a very short stump and you just throw it and the thing sails because it just it works perfectly with the the air don't know what that is i'm curious xylos are swag you can throw them forever okay do you think you can throw a do you think you can throw a baseball further than i can throw a tennis ball using a chuck it for my dog the other day i was trying to throw the chuck it ball as far as i could for rosie and i was thinking like i think dylan could still out throw me with the chuck it is he throwing a tennis ball or a baseball i said

baseball because i don't think he's gonna get more roll out of a baseball i'm talking air could be wrong about that i'm talking straight air back in my playing days i could throw a baseball about 360 feet in the air 350 because i could throw it over the fence from home plate on our on our field and it was about it was about that so 120 yards? Yeah. Yeah. I want receipts for this. I can't do it anymore. Okay. My arm is.

I would say that too. I could, but I would have, my arm would be on the shelf for like two weeks after that. My neighbors think I've got a cannon. We were outside with the dogs. Some dude down the street was throwing the ball with his kid. Baseball, he missed it. And it just rolled all the way down to us. I picked it up.

Crow hop. Dude, put it right on his glove. And oh man did you play some ball i was like yeah man actually i did play a little ball it was like the most athletic thing i've done in 17 years that's pretty sick yeah too bad roads wasn't old enough to appreciate it i don't think roads is around for it he's probably inside just throwing his cinnamon sticks on the floor that's sick as randy as my dog you brought up too how can i give you our number six moment that dudes get rocked up for the you have ten dollars to spend tweets i can't be that critical because i feel like we have at some point we've done this i'll be honest i enjoy that i do how do we get how do we get

so and i'm grouping myself in, how do we get, so, and I'm grouping myself in here. How do we collectively get so excited for the exact same question every single year? The menu doesn't change, right? Like every year, it's the exact same situation and we all start doing it again. The other day,

so. It's like a, it's like a Rovell thing. He's always tweeting that shit out. So the other day, the Today Show or something was on in my house, and Carson Daly's on there. Carson Daly is like a known golfer.

I think he was like a good college player or something. He was talking about the Masters menu, and he was like trying to act surprised at how cheap everything was. I was like, dude, this is not new to you. You've known about this. Everyone's known about this. Every year, we get it everything's cheap he's crazy he's in a part of hollywood where he just smiles and gets told what

to say at this point he's carson day l the number seven moment that guys get rocked up for the conversation of so do you think you could break 100 there? Honestly, what do you think you could shoot from their tees? No, it's from their tees. I enjoy that banter for every difficult tournament. It's like, dude, did you see the rough out there at the US Open, man? What do you think you'd shoot up? Yeah. No, no, dude.

You couldn't even get out of that rough, dog. You'd not break 110. Yeah. Dude, you'd have to punch out of that rough every single time. You'd run out of balls. Yeah. No, you would shoot at least 120 there, dude, you couldn't even get out of that rough, dog. You're not breaking 110. Yeah. Dude, you'd have to punch out of that rough every single time. You'd run out of balls. Yeah. No, you would shoot at least 120 there, dude. Around the greens, they would just eat us alive.

Absolutely just eat us alive and spit us out. I'd be your caddy, and I'd have you hitting it in all the wrong places. Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you help me? Like, when you pull up on 12, I'm like, yeah, at that sunday pin i would i would have to fire you right our number eight rocked up moment this is just specific to us not really specific to us specific to texas ready it's just hearing hearing all all about the money getting thrown around at the Dallas and Houston Calcuttas. I'm not in the circles that talk about this kind of thing.

I feel like, dude, I hear it from you guys mostly. It goes up every single year exponentially. People are like, yeah, do you hear Tiger? Dude, he went for $500,000 this year. If we're going to have a $100 barrel oil, then it's just going to be through the roof. We're going to hear about like, oh, dude, Spieth went for like $500,000. It was a big Austin one, right? Yeah, but the money doesn't get nearly as high as the other ones do.

We paid like $2,500 for Heinrich Stenson. Wasn't it Abel's one year? I think we paid $2,300 for him. It was like a number of people. I'll tell you what. We had like 12 people. The best we could do was Stenson. This is before he won a major.

I don't have the kind of bread to enter one of those things and actually make a run. They sound fun as hell. I love the idea of those. They're intimidating. I bet. A lot of alphas there. Okay, one day if we're absolutely just swimming in it, let's... Let's just take our investor money and buy every golfer one year.

Let's push some weight around out there. Do a little capital call. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Number nine rocked up moment. Kind of did this the other day. Debating the best Masters, Champions meals

and then discussing what you would have for yours. I don't know if it's because I've enjoyed the Hideki banter and it's cool because obviously he's the first Japanese player. But I've enjoyed. I've not been beaten down by this at all this week. Oh, I think it's fun. This is my rocked up moment. This gets 10 rocks for me.

I love seeing the Champions Dinner. It's one of the most exciting things, like reveals of the Masters Week. And I just very much enjoy just seeing what people are doing and going back into historical menus. Yeah. I'm glad somebody pointed out, do you know what Zeej's was? Iowa, this is what it said. Oh oh yeah iowa beef and florida shrimp um the most embarrassing one of course we talked about it but it's bubba watson he did that one twice he did the same menu like he ran it back we're in the grilled chicken back i went on record last night in the group text not in my group text

with y'all but in our golf group text from home and i went on record last night in the group text, not in my group text with y'all, but in our golf group text from home. And I went on record saying that this year's Masters Champion Dinner is probably the best tasting one. It sounds absolutely dank. But my favorite one is Weir's. He did like just all Canadian stuff, including Canadian beer,

which I enjoyed the fact that he included, no, you're drinking a Canadian beer at this Masters. You know they're serving sake at this one. That's what's up. Which is tonight, I believe. Did you see how rocked up? Wednesday? It was yesterday.

Yeah, it was yesterday. Did you see how rocked up Spieth was for dinner? Yeah, he was super horny. He was so horny for it. Wait, what'd he say? He just pretty much said, they're going to have to roll me out of this place. Can't wait. I'm going back for seconds.

He was 10 out of 10 rocks. Hey, I've got something for y'all. I wonder how drunk they get. Probably very. The guys that are playing, I'm talking about. Did y'all like how Zeej's tie? All-time bad tie drop. What is he doing?

Can you zoom in on that knot? Like, was he late for class at his boarding school? That's absolutely what that is. This is a pledge lineup, Ty. Yeah. It's embarrassing. So he's been to, like, over 10 of these dinners. It's embarrassing.

It's an 18-year-old freshman pledge. He's like, I've never done this before. Someone show him how to do it. And that's what he wound up with. He'd be better off with a clip-on. How did he do it? How is he so bad at this? It's trash.

Dave, your guy has no swag. He won the 2007 Masters, so he's been to over 10 of these things 15 of these things now not to mention he's won a tie on probably countless other occasions probably as he is a grown man he's an adult he's an adult grown very much an adult now i want to go back and like look at historical photos of zach johnson wearing suits just to find out if he just sucks at tying ties. It's like he lost a bet or something. This is so bad. It's egregious.

What if you found out he was just on a bender? Like he hadn't slept in three days. You can tie a tie on a bender. But he was just like, he was all flustered. He forgot about the dinner. Can I give the final rocked up uh rocked up part number 10 when your boy won't shut the fuck up about that time that he went to the fucking masters oh yeah that one makes me yeah i'm nine and a half rocks probably zero rocks zero rocks i think you guys are still mad

at me for how i told you the news i am i was actually laying in bed thinking about the masters the other night and i was thinking like, you know what Dylan's like if I Think that if I wouldn't have been like I was a Subordinate at that point at Grand X like I was on the lowest rung of the content team at that point I think had we been peers. I think I would have given it to you a little bit been like really now You're doing this now, huh? See I knew you guys wouldn't be like fired up But I thought it better minimum they would make for good content the only reason i'm i was mad about it is because i had a lot of questions that i could not ask on the air

who else was going there was a number of questions i was like how did this come about hold on no for me i wasn't mad that you were going but what i would get mad at was when non-content people would get prioritized at grand x for going to totally i totally and that's that's that's what always made me the most mad it was like cool y'all did actually i say actually like it's surprising i y'all had good access you did interview smiley coffin kaufman cough coffin oh that's sad damn dude i like it no you told me ron dave actually dave dave actually uh he ran that joke by me before today's pod. He was chomping at the bit to get it. You got into the Natty house, as did Smiley.

Kind of never lived that down. But no, y'all did good. You and Russ killed it. Honestly, I'm not trying to rub it in, but it was an incredible experience. You almost left because you met Portnoy, and he tried to take you and pull you out of Grand X. It's not true. You did meet Portnoy and he tried to take you take you and pull you out of Grand X it's not true you did meet Portnoy though yeah they we at the zoom dog concert true story and it was in a bar they had a little VIP Natty set up a VIP section and it was me Ross big t-shirt Matt and then the Barstool guys it was Portnoy um Riggs the other fellow who does the golf don't remember his

name a couple of yeah Trent couple other people did Al Perez we didn't really talk too much but Riggs, the other fellow who does the golf, don't remember his name. Trent? Yeah, Trent, a couple other people. Did Al Perez break his fit? We didn't really talk too much, but they were nice. What'd you wear? That night or to the tournament? He wore his Masters polo he bought earlier that day. What'd you wear to the Snoop concert?

I wore a button-down. Oh, my God. Dork. Dude, absolute brick city. Dude, as a guy who grew up a rap fan in the 90s, that was a big moment for me. Yeah. I fucking love Snoop. So you dressed like a six-year-old going to church.

Anyway, the last couple of years at Grand X, big t-shirt, Matt, he texts me one night, and he's like, hey, there's a chance we're going to go back to the Masters. And he goes, hey, there's a chance that we get to bring more people this time. And I said, listen, if we get to go to the Masters and if Will and Dave are included, please let me inform them live on a podcast.

I was going to make it up to you. I never got the chance, obviously. Wow, dude, thank you. I had very pure intentions of like, well, I was going to be like, hey, guys, I'm going back. Y'all are going to be mad. I'm going to surprise you guys.

Then I was going to say, hey, y'all are coming with me. But it never happened. I'm sorry. I got a little announcement. I got a surprise. Ready? Ready?

I'm going to watch the Masters with y'all on Saturday. Oh, that's almost as good. It is. And I am going to pick up some food on the way. You have Chang's. You want to go Chang's? That's what y'all do. We'll do lettuce wraps.

Y'all were eating Chang's while I was at 16 watching Cooch just hole out. Yeah, if we're getting lettuce wraps, Dylan needs to get some more TP. Cooch, I saw that I was there for the Cooch hole-in-one on 16. Yeah, I've seen your tips. You also need to know that this was coming off the heels of the year before when I went to a dinner with Sally's family, and every single guy at the dinner was given a ticket to the Masters besides me. And so I was just having a tough run.

That is tough. I was having a tough run. You were new to the family. I was relatively new, but my thinking was like, you know, you can't have me at that dinner. Yeah. If you know that every single person is getting a ticket. That's sorry. You shouldn't have me at that dinner.

That's sorry. That would be like if we had a cool Adam sitting on that couch and like we brought everybody in and like we just start handing out like cash bonuses. Hey, man. What's up hey dude good job hey do you mind videoing this yeah dave you got a story i think you wanted oh no what was the camp smith quote that you wanted to mention oh somebody asked him uh somebody asked him if he parties a lot he said my question is do you party a lot how much beer do you drink per day fuck yeah cool question who asked that question? Nerd alert.

He says, I wouldn't say I drink a whole lot. I definitely love a beer with the boys on the weekend or something like that. But during the week, I keep it pretty tidy. It's all business during the week and a few beers on the boat during the weekend. He's just a cool guy. Cam Smith, boat guy. I think I'm going to commandeer the word tidy for not drinking during the week. No, I'm keeping it tidy this week.

He's cool, man. It's a tidy week for me. He's hard to dislike. He's a ratty little fuck, but I love him. I took him first in our draft. I had to. I love the guy. It's a good pick.

Love the guy. Based on the advanced metrics that I've been looking at. He's just an absolute delight to watch play. I love deep diving the stats and not waiting until one of my favorite golf outlets just tweets out the rankings on strokes gained and stuff. I like to go in and do the dirty work. Really? Yeah, that's kind of a thing that I do. I love the Masters.

That's cool, man. In fact, my favorite tab here on the Masters app, Will, give me the tabs. If you go to players, the 2022, it'll tell you who's in the field. You've got all players. Read the rest. You've got favorites amateurs and professionals yeah and you know me love an amateur's tab all that for that payoff and i am sorry yeah that's the recommended tab on there hey you can't stop you can't put away we just did a segment about how hard our penises you talk about women taking their tops off during an ad read, my man. And you just said you went to the Masters and watched Cooch.

So numerous women took their... They were dumping them out for your boy. Is that what you're saying? Coocher. Okay. Son of a gun. You said it, not me. That's his nickname.

You said you saw one single crumb of cooch when you were out there. Ironically, no cooch in the field this week. Why? He didn't qualify. Good. He's kind of a psycho. After he stiffed that caddy on his tip, I was just like, nah. After we saw him in the pro shop at the Players Championship.

That was weird. That was weird. It was weird to see. He's a very tall lad. That's an all-time look at me moment. No, I think his family requested some merch, and he's like, okay, I got you. I'd be like, go get the merch then. Figure it out.

Shout out to the Players' Championship. They have great merch. Oh, yeah. You know at the end of the Players' Championship, they take all the merch that wasn't sold and burn it. I heard that. Actually, I heard they drown it. Whoa, that's... Damn.

I know. It's a better way to go probably but both probably pretty miserable is it time let's debate it no dave's got dave's got something he wants to talk about real quick we could save this for next no oh yeah can i do i've been wanting to do this segment it's my hit the music randy macaque of the week. Okay. Japan's monkey queen made it through mating season with her reign intact. I know you were wondering.

Last year, Yakai, a nine-year-old female Japanese macaque, fought several other macaques, including her own mother, to become the alpha of her troop. fought several other macaques, including her own mother, to become the alpha of her troop. That made her the first known female troop leader in the history of the Takasakayama Natural Zoological Garden in southern Japan, which was established, of course, in 1952, and is oddly home to over a thousand macaques. Oh, what a yama? Suck? Did you know what a macaque was before this podcast no i thought he spelled it's the it's the pink face monkey i thought he misspelled macaque and this was about a dope

bird but no it's about macaques dude right yeah i wasn't familiar until this story this whole story is kind of macabre um as it's it has a lot of violence. I'm just imagining these things that are acting like it's a red wedding. They're polyamorous, and scientists were worried that Yakei would not be able to maintain her status while pursuing, suing, and rejecting potential mates. Tensions run high during breeding season, of course.

It always comes back to sex with you, Dave. And a challenge from a spurned male could easily rob Yakei, an average-sized female of her rank. But, but but she rose to power by defeating her troops alpha male but he was elderly and less formidable so she beat the shit out of some old dude some old macaque so this is like this is like uh kate middleton beating the shit out of like prince philip when he was alive it's exactly like that oh it yeah he was dead for

the like last two years of his life good news to answer y'all's question i was drinking one dip of a hundred year old whiskey every night before that is the secret of yukai's success really really good news she managed to have a successful breeding season um after another macaque goro gave her the cold shoulder she spent many weeks playing the field expressing interest in no fewer than five males. Among these males was Chris. What? A male ranked 10th in the troop.

And Sha'Kal. Chris. Who holds the rank just below Chris. Chris. But the only male the reserve is sure she mated with was Mario or Maruo. It's a me. A Mario. It's a me. This is very cool cool and he was like at 15th in the troop so they've got these they've got these so these monkeys they need to have like a they need to have like a blog where they just update this daily with like what

what kind of goings-ons there are intrigued yeah it's like the game of thrones over here it really is what would their reality show be called? Game of Macawks. Game of Monkeys? I don't know. What do you want? I don't know, David. Think of something. I don't want to, man. This is your pervy, horny story.

How is this pervy? It's all about sex and mating and who this chick is hooking up with. This week on Macawk Island. The most dramatic season of Macaque yet. All right, so you're saying I can't do a weekly monkey segment because I'm planning on it. This week in monkeys.

If it wasn't called a Macaque, you wouldn't even be talking about it. No, I would. This is a hilarious headline. What are you talking about? We're talking about her polyamorous relationship with Chris and other dudes. Sounds beautiful.

She killed an old guy. She killed the elder. And now she's the alpha. You don't like to see a girl boss win. Sometimes you got to go, man. True. True. Dave, you got to the root of this problem.

I'd love to see a girl boss win. You hate to see a girl macaque win. No, that's not true. I'm happy for her, man. She's killing it. She's a bad bitch. She is a bad bitch. She'll beat your old ass up. Dude, she's her, man. She's killing it. She's a bad bitch. She is a bad bitch. She'll beat your old ass up.

Dude, she's my down ass. Really? I don't think you're seeing it. She's fucking. She's about to walk in here and yell like, keep Chris's name out your fucking mouth. I'm down bad ass Chris. He got passed up on from Marulo. It's tough.

Chris needs to step his shit up. Chris is going through it. Like he's got hands on heads. He's just thinking about leaving. Maybe he's not drippy enough. I don't think they wear clothing. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing.

And that's this week in monkeys. Very sick. Oh, luckily, we've got this weekend in fun, baby. Presented by Busy Hard Seltzer. Outdoor televisions with the Masters on. Vibe. Duda. Goals.

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They come in four different flavors. You ready for these? Strawberry, orange, pineapple, orange, peach, orange, and pomegranate orange. Ooh, I'm going to holler at that pommy orange. Dude, the aliens can't even get their hands on it. I might go pick some of this up for Bros Day on Saturday. Yeah, you will be. Oh, is that how it's going to go?

Mm-hmm. Huh, we'll see. Yeah, dude, we're old enough. I how it's going to go? Mm-hmm. Huh, we'll see. Yeah, dude, we're old enough. It's not BYOB. Hey, if we want to get some beer, Brett has a keg guy. Oh, yeah, that's true. I forgot that Brett's got a keg guy. Yeah. It's always hard to do. I'm going to have a lampshade on my head.

Wow. You guys always know about pretty much everything about Vizzy at this point. Superfruit, acerola, cherry, just packed with vitamin C. Are you kidding me? They even have their watermelon hard seltzer packs. They even have, I mean, they've got everything. Pineapple, mango, black cherry, lime, strawberry, kiwi, blueberry, pomegranate.

It's about to be hardcore watermelon strawberry season. Listen, I've been saying that for a while. I've tried all the hard seltzers. I had to compare. And I'll tell you what, none of the other ones actually do compare. Someone left some competitors hard seltzers in my place. The fact that I didn't kick them out for even bringing them in is disgusting.

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sign up for their emails at busy hard seltzer.com slash subscribe again that's busy hard seltzer.com slash subscribe must be 21 or older dylan what you getting into this weekend wow thank you for asking me will um listen this if bay if she's listening this is going to be quite insulting um so just skip forward a couple minutes i know we're getting married in a few weeks but um this weekend is going to be the best weekend of my life as she is out of town and it's master's weekend at the same time and your boy is going to be the best weekend of my life. As she is out of town and it's Masters weekend at the same time. And your boy is going to get into one.

All right? Is your wedding going to replace this weekend as being the best weekend of your life? No. Okay. I just wanted to put that out there and give you a lifeline. Firm number two. No, but really. But real facts.

I'm very excited about this weekend. Bae will be out of town. Her bachelorette party. She's going to Newport Beach with the gals. Rhode Island. No, Newport Beach. It's in California. It's different. And I'm going to be watching Masters, man.

And the squad's coming over on Saturday. We're going to just absolutely get into one. Moving day. Moving day. And I can't wait. It's going to be a great time. Catch me watching a lot of golf. David? Parks has a game too.

I saw that on your calendar. I still haven't gotten an invite. Rays Creek, Ike's Pond, Amen Corner. You see where I'm going with this? Yeah, Masters. I'm watching Masters. I think that's all I really got i'm gonna go to your house what do you want me to pick up some busy hard seltzer i want to i'm food not drink strictly

food i mean we can do a we can fuck around do a brisket if y'all want i just don't know how much you want to that that puts a lot on you it puts a lot on me can we how long does it take to smoke some smoke some chicken and stuff like that still tastes good okay bubba i'm not grilling it david and just to be clear i was talking to brett he was talking about what his master's meal would be and he said grilled chicken is his entree that's embarrassing it's he bricked his master's he bricked his master's meal from the brick man himself that's there's no surprise hey who's bringing pimento cheese sandwiches i think he said he would and that's fine i i'm i was just thinking like we could get some Q'd or Grays on. We could Grays.

Let's get some shit to smoke. Did some ribbies. I only do edibles. Why can't we just smoke something? Smoke something, bitch. We can. Are you good on pellets? Everything good?

I think I'm good on pellets. I can always acquire some more. You can? I feel like this is the prime day to smoke something. And if, like, we're sitting around, like, grilling hot dogs, I feel like we're just missing. Oh, you don't like a good glizz? I do. But, like, I mean, you want the best weekend of your life to be remembered as a time you were just eating a hot dog in your backyard?

Like, what if we just had bomb-ass meat? That would be on brand for him. Oh, El Glizadente. Yeah, okay. okay dude iconic bit no i do want to pick up some i'll pick up any i don't care that's gonna be a fun day i don't think i've got anything else i might be overlooking something just you know continue raising my son that's that's good that's a good initiative look just just because the master's on doesn't mean i stop raising my child take a break from raising a son no no no i'm not i won't be

i won't be derelict on my dad duties maybe i'll involve him put his high chair in front of the tv and be like dude see this you're gonna be really into this one day you'll probably won't ever play there but you're gonna watch it fritz doesn't day. You'll probably won't ever play there, but you're going to watch it. Fritz doesn't take to golf as much as he takes to watching soccer for some reason. I had a, he watches something. I had a theory that it was the green on the screen that was like kind of

mesmerizing for him. But now I'm thinking it's the crowd noise, like the hum of like chance and stuff like that. It's the Vuvuzelas. And, and yeah, he, golf is not something he sits still for. Huge sports that. It's the Vuvuzelas. And yeah, golf is not something he sits still for.

Huge sports weekend. Huge sports weekend. Sorry, that's a didgeridoo. How does a Vuvuzela go? They're so annoying. Sounds like just a bunch of bees just hovering around your head. They're terrible.

They're terrible. They're thinking about extending. I don't know if this is a true report. They're thinking about extending the World Cup games from 90 minutes to 100 minutes. No. Why mess with it? Is that the weirdest thing of all time? What's the point?

I just don't understand why you would ever do that. A lot of people have said we need more soccer. Yeah. Big soccer slate this weekend. We got a full EPL slate for Saturday and Sunday morning. Not sure. Who's Liverpool got? Not sure.

I haven't looked at the schedule yet. I have not been following. I've been more into La Liga. Well, we also have an F1 race this weekend as well, in addition to the Masters. And that pretty much tailors my schedule in for the entire weekend. Where is it? Australia.

Oh, down under. It's weird. They go the opposite way around the track. Really? Like a toilet? Flush? David, you hear about this? You got to think Danny Ricks is just going to be absolutely like on one this weekend.

Don't know who that is, but I'm sure he'll be really Daniel Ricardo. Ricardo. OK. So, yeah, I'm just gonna be watching the sports. As you guys know, Saturday is for the boys, is why i forced sally to pick up a shift at the hospital which is why fritz and i will be joining the party uh solo to be clear no chicks are allowed in my house i know that's but i just want to make sure that sally didn't try to weasel her way in i was like you pick up that shift at the hospital i'll kick sally right out you pick up that shit jay's little whiskey girl no access no access do you have bracelets i'm gonna drink so many beers i've got a hand stamp

but you can only see it under a black light which i assume you have is parks gonna be there no lame i was gonna have him babysit damn after what dylan being solo all weekend, I would not want to run a blacklight through his bedroom. No. What time does Bay's flight get in on Sunday? I don't even know. Hopefully it's like 10 o'clock at night.

I was going to say, because you guys have this little tradition of going to Matt's El Rancho after the airport, and that could be in prime Masters territory. I mean, mean it's the time difference it won't be early i know but i'm just worried about honestly for you i'd hope it was early i'll get it out of the way yeah just dude pay for the uber you're gonna probably drive to the airport she usually does i'm gonna text her tonight be like are you uber into the airport make sure to uber to the airport. She usually does. I'm going to text her tonight and be like, are you Ubering to the airport? Make sure to Uber to the airport. Parking there has been a nightmare lately.

I don't want you to miss your flight. How many gals are going on this trip? Seven and six, seven? Oh, it's a manageable group. Smaller group. It's good. Is her crew going to come back in better shape or worse shape than we came back from Vegas? Probably better shape, but we came back in fine shape.

It was okay. Yeah, we definitely all did right i'm just tripping are we about done here sure let's get out of here bye you