Circling Back - Sales Culture, Sex Scandals, & Top 1% Of All Vaginas | Circling Back 4-30-26

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

A loaded show today includes: Bryan Johnson announcing that he gave his girlfriend, who has top 1% P, oral sex, a JP Morgan sex slave scandal, d-bag sales culture, the Merchant of Death on Twitter, This Weekend in Fun, and Run it Back. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.youtube.com/washedmedia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Washed Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.washedmedia.shop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • (00:00) Fun & Easy Banter • (12:05) Bryan Johnson eating top 1% • (23:40) JP Morgan Sex Slave • (37:45) Sales D-Bag Culture • (52:45) Merchant of Death • (1:00:00) This Weekend in Fun • (1:05:20) Run it Back Support This Episode’s Sponsors: - Rhoback: Go to ⁠https://rhoback.com/⁠ and use code LUTES20 for 20% off your first order - Aura Frames: Exclusive $25-off Carver Mat at ⁠https://on.auraframes.com/CIRCLING⁠. Promo Code CIRCLING - Squarespace: Check out ⁠⁠https://squarespace.com/steam⁠⁠ for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: STEAM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at ⁠https://shopify.com/circling Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right. We're back Thursday morning, circling back podcast. Final show of the week for the YouTubers. Welcome. My name is Dave. Producing today is Randall Trumbagg. Hi, Dave. I'm excited to be here.

You know I'm having a good morning. Oh yeah, what's different about it? I negotiated my... renewal price from my apartment down and got a little money off so I'm feeling a little good citing this renewal hey cheers brother they meet you in the middle they did they actually did they took pretty much half of the they split the diff look at that mitigated mm-hmm hey thanks Claude helped with that initial email very cool um did you get any kind of perks out of it did you get like a well I might get a deep

clean or a carpet cleaning out of it too i'll have to follow back up with it but yeah nice just if they don't go up there the black light what is that supposed to mean you know i know what i know what you mean black lights attract moths and you really are concerned about my clothes after the the debacle that you had sure shout to cuts clothing i'd like another gray polo two button please old sponsor alert whatever you know what i'm not even blaming the the manufacturer it's just a it's a a polo that was probably getting worn um more than other polos in there and therefore may know got worn out yeah deal with it dave stop talking about it nobody cares it's okay dave you can talk about it uh well welcome to the show randy thank you hey welcome to the show to you

as well a loaded show man lot going on um such could be a 90 minute show'd We don't know. May save some of this content for washed weekly. It's a substack that drops tomorrow. Go subscribe to it, please. Dylan Shivery. Here's my initial reaction when I read that the Saudis had pulled funding from Live. Yeah, I don't really like it when people lose their job personally, but...

I do. If it's... I do only in one specific occasion, and that's when... really good golfers leave a already very well-established tour to go take a lot of Saudi money to create their own stupid league that no one watches and water down all the PGA event fields and that one specific in that specific scenario i like it when people lose their jobs i can't wait to get the boys back on tour i'll take camp smith back i'll take uh take john rom back don't give a shit about Pat Reed, even though I know he's already on his way back. Yeah, Pat

Reed. That's, that's, that's a, that's honestly a really bad take. Dustin Johnson, has been shitty, but surprisingly played pretty well at the Masters. He's a former champion. He is. Yeah. Um, no, that's a bad, no, you want Pat Reed. You may not like him, but you need him. You need a villain, I guess, but Brooks, Brooks kind of fills that role for me in a way. Which isn't even a villain anymore. Did you see he broke up a Strickson? I didn't see that. I mean, Strickson, as of today, parted way. Is he gone with Kirkland brand? Yeah, I don't know.

He didn't do the Kirkland announcement. I do have a Kirkland. I bought a three-pack of Kirkland golf gloves recently. Someone in my DMs asked us to do a golf sponsor brand. Draft. That'd be an interesting one to do. Like golf equipment or just brands it like a shirt logo of like a, you know, accounting firm? I think it would be golf equipment, like who you would want to be like.

What about a bank? Or a bank? that I'm trying to get a job out as of the last couple hours. But I guess like Melbourne, they don't do equipment, right? Melba's just clothing. Malba.

They're a good sponsor to throw in there. But like, yeah. So that might be an interesting one. Get Will in here and do it. Dude, I saw some crazy news today. I've been champing at the bit. Austin has been teetering on a good town that needs to become a great town.

I think it finally is about to become a great town. Okay. Are we getting like a baseball team? Are we getting like some type of a rail system? No, you're close, Dylan. You're close, Dylan. We're getting an immersive art bathhouse near Barter Spring. This is like the third time I've heard of us getting like a bathhouse.

What's immersive? Stop, Randy, shut up. It's immersive. Do you know what's immersive about it? How do you immerse? What does the immersion look like? I think steam rooms, saunas, hot baths, cold plunges, and hydrotherapy combined with immersive art installations, sensory design in 12 distinct spaces built to take the experience far beyond your typical spa day so your typical spa day what is it you go in there

this sounds like cleaned up you go whack off go shower what do you do this sounds like a 1200 a month like like corporate douchebag only people talking eight the eight great men are lining up to sign up for this here's the here's the instagram post that i saw from a awesome 365 shout to them This would be cool on that real low-dust of mushrooms. I'm not gonna lie. But also I don't wanna be around other people who might also be on a low dose of mushrooms. That I don't know.

Barton Springs, you said? It's gonna be right next to Terry Blacks. I looked up the address that was on here. Really? Yeah. Dude, I love going to the immersive bathhouse after I eat barbecue. Yeah. I just don't need to go to something called a bathhouse.

I gives me weird vibes. Like a weird, I get a weird picture in my head. You're a pervert alert. Dude. Whose mind goes there? This is classic uncultures swarmed building. I just picture like, like 72-year-old naked men walking around. Not in every place is trying to whack you off, don't you?

But don't you all picture that hell. Do you a bathhouse? No. One of my biggest regrets. Like, maybe they touch each other, you know, that kind of. What? What are you thinking? That's what I think of.

Not everything's a lemon party, dude. Maybe I saw a movie with this. Why are you so dressed up? Are you going to a lemon party after this? I'm not fucking around. Dude, when I'm all denim, you know, I'm just. You're going to a lemon party. I mean, fucking business.

I don't know what business. a lemon party. Okay, well, I just ask. I mean, it's on your mind, clearly.

No, because we're talking about an immersive bath house. Just to run it back real quick, would you think of a bathhouse you think of old guys who might be touching each other?

Old naked guys with big old bellies and hairy backs like touching each other. That's what I picture. I can get on board with you for that first half. You know what it is?

You know what it is? Is this something about Mary? I've seen a movie. They said rest stops or the bathhouses of... I've logged a memory deep, deep back in my brain somewhere where this is a thing. I don't know where it came from. I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. You got...

Never mind. You were logging? Yeah, I would say my biggest regret of Japan is not doing one of their bathhouses because it's a big part of their culture. Also, they don't like tattoos there, so I might have had to cover up my little wrist. They thought you're Yakuza. They think, yeah, they do not like tattoos. Oh, it's like a sign of like you're in the, you're in the, you're in the... the game that are just like not

cleaner you know pure and things like that don't dishonor your skin randy sorry i already did going to hell Dave's the only clean one yeah tell us what happens like man Dave has almost gotten the tattoo a bunch of times but guess what he's never actually done it he ain't mean on that however how do you know that

because you would have told us I'll pull mine out right now but i mean why you fucking wait for the bat house that house and i think like it's cool but this is like the third time we've like heard of a new bathhouse immersive thing being launched in Austin. So was this actually going to happen? Because there was

like three different places. I don't know. It doesn't really affect my life either way. Don't Dallas my Austin. How is it? This is not Dallas. Don't Dallas my Austin. An immersive bathhouse makes you think of Dallas? This ain't the Austin I grew up in, Dave. Now this is, this is perfect for new Austin. This is what it is.

This is wellness, yeah. Don't new Austin, my old Austin. So we went to the immersive bath house. I went I got some Terry Blacks. Oh, they had really good cucumber water at the entrance for everybody. It was so refreshing. Do I love cucumber water, man. It totally makes me feel way different.

Yeah. No, she probably she thought the waiting room has cucumber water. You know it's on. They chopped up some cucumber. Wow, that's been sitting in there for a couple days. Cool. How would she mispronounced Terry Blacks? Or would it be like Terry Blocks?

What do you think she's more? You can't you can't mispronounce the name. Terry Blacks, there's no. That'd be too obvious. She knows game too well to mispronounce Terry Blacks. Now maybe... Cabla. La Barbecue? L.A. Barbecue?

If she called it L.A. Oh, absolutely she would. That would be... She's got to go there. That's the move. L.A. Barbecue. There's probably some, like, snooty California who just moved here that's like...

Just assumes it's L.A. Barbecue. Like, just because that's like they're worthy... Oh, my God, L.A. Barbecue. Yeah, because L.A.'s known for their good barbecue. Yeah, I love it. There is a place in Compton. For real? Yeah.

I don't have the name. And I'll probably never go there. But it does get, like, once a year, I'll get served as a reel from there. It's like, oh, it does look good. Okay. Next time I'm in Compton, I'll stop by. Yeah, you should. Anyway, fun show today, guys.

Let's run it back. No, we got more stuff to talk about, man. I want to talk about Roeback. Use code Lutes 20 for 20% off your cart. Lute 20. Just freaking do it. Load that card up. It's a one-time use code.

Roeback. You know what Roeback is. I don't need to explain it. I'm wearing it right now. Is that your Purdue pole over? This is but Purdue quarters it. You ever just, now's the time to get your stuff for fall.

You ever look at a menu and it's like, football, like five things just sound really good and it kind of irritates you because you can't order everything. You have to settle on one. Yeah. When I'm on that website, that's how I feel.

I don't want like 10 different things. You can't have it all, but you can't have 20% off if you use our code. Lutz 20. L-U-T-E-S-20. There it is. Get you a Pena Colada polo. I got Rhodes a...

It's the all active short. I got Rhodes a baseball one that's got like palm trees and little bats or baseballs. That's the spring. Spring League ones. You loving it? Yeah. I'm very excited for him. If Rhodes is happy, I'm happy, man.

One of the dads made a comment about Rhodes. Like, dude, you'll buy him a lot of roadback. And I was like, I didn't even want to explain like, well, it's kind of cool. I'm trying to finish it for work. One of the dads in Parks is baseball league. he was like uh did i see you on instagram like modeling a robeck shirt i was like yeah dude yeah and then like that other that that grandpa on the league was like didn't i see you at the lemon party at the bath house didn't i see you there uh lutes 20 you were at the bad house huh

yeah the party can you believe these kids in their walk-up songs yeah they walk up i don't have a walk up at the party the lemon can you imagine we love I love Roebuck. I think my favorite thing is their hoodies. If I'm at home just lounging, I'm going to wear a hoodie. It's amazing. They're awesome. Jeff, friend of the show, we got to just get them on the show.

People are just like, just stopped talking about this guy. We don't know. He came in the other day. I go, is that a rowback kitty? He's like, yeah. Like, cool. They have a like a lightweight athletic one. They also have like a chunky one.

It's good for cold. The chunky one's a great winter one. Check it out. Lute's 20. Load that coat up, Paul. Okay. Enough time's past. Hey, I saw you on Instagram.

modeling and you was the guy with the walk-up music at the lemon party you walked up to montal jordan yeah this is how we do yeah then you showed us what i show you how to do how you did it oh yeah you were right about the bathhouses i don't i don't like it i don't know do the show All right. Would you read this next segment for us, Dave, the topic on the rundown? I don't know who wrote this. I had to make sure I reworded that in the description of today's episode. Brian Johnson, our friend who's famous for trying to live forever, the longevity guy. New sponsor alert also.

Also an upcoming new sponsor alert. There's something really, there's something funny about that, too. He announced last night on Twitter, the Everything app. Ooh, can I guess? Yeah. I don't have access to the rundown, so I can't see it. Okay. Did he discover a cure for a terminal disease?

No. Is he... Keep going. Keep going. Okay. Did he figure out a way to beat teenage acne? Nope. Did he conquer death?

He's working on it, but no, not yet. Oh, I don't know. Did he eat some ball mouse pose? Just gave Kate oral sex. Good night, everyone. Kate is his girlfriend, I believe. Are they not married? I think this is his girlfriend, Kate.

Kate received some oral from her. Back in Monday, we never ate and tell. We didn't eat and tell. We was just doing it. Yeah, you ever just hop on... Whistling through the wheat field? You ever just hop on social media to let everybody know that you're engaging in sexual activity?

I've never done that. I don't think I've done that either. I don't know. Someone's search Dylan's tweets to see if he has any lemon emojis. Go to Dylan Faves. He then followed it up. Okay. Well, how do you follow up that tweet? Well, apparently he ran some diagnostics on her vagina, and the results may shock you. This is her vaginal microbiome report. 100 out of 100 score. We're losing the algorithm. We're losing list.

Top 1% of all vaginas. That's pretty good. Her sample is dominated by the single most protective bacterial species a vagina can host. Lactobacillus cryptatus, chrypatus, chrypatus. It's a goaded vagina, baby. No, dude. Only about 25 to 30 percent of reproductive age women globally are L. Crestap dominant.

It's okay. And dominant usually means 50 percent. And Kate is at 98.7%. Wow. This is top tier. This is top tier P. Yeah. The lab found nothing bad to report.

No, uh, go, fuck. No Gardinerlla, Candida, STIs, opportunistic pathogens, uh, aerobic vaginitis, markers, etc. This is linked to lower risk of BV UTIs, yeast infection, HPV persistence. I don't need to read the rest of it. Why stop now? This is top tier P, you guys. That's all you need to know. This is top 1% P.

100. He's eaten clean is what he wants you to know. Do you think, do you think? She got that primo is what you responded. She got that primo is what I said. Do you think afterwards she's like, oh, you're not going to do like a really specific post about this, like, breaking down all of the bacteria, are you?

And he's like, no. You know she's just floating today, walking around, just like, walking around tall, being like, yeah, that's right. Everybody knows I got top, top two. He better not post any picks of her. And then he did. He posted the graph that shows the score of 100. I don't, how do you? I want to know.

He made the graph off. Did he swap? Dude, you know he ran, he ran some his own test. Yeah. He got the lab out. Is this the key to help the relationship? He got the beaker out and he ran some shit. I doubt there was a beaker in all.

He got that swab that we used to have to do for the COVID test. You fired up the bunsen burner. Oh, man. This is unbelievable. You know he had to put the goggles on, the lab coat. He, dude, he absolutely put on the lab coat. Put the goggles. Well, let's get in there.

She's like, no, I'm tired. And he's like, I just put the goggles on. He pulls it to the side, gets in there. Oh, I'm sorry. He's got to get in there. That was so foul. That was foul. I'm sorry.

If you're new here, I don't usually make jokes like that. He pulled it to the side, baby. What is with you today? This is the Thursday, Dylan. Oh, man. He horny like that. He horny. It's the all denim.

It brings out a different side. So they're going to be dudes like, babe, can I please? Can I get a swab? I'm going to run your numbers, babe. Yeah, is there an at-home kit? Like, how can other people test this? I don't know. If it's me, I'm just probably good not knowing.

her pH is below 4.5 which inhibits virtually all known pathogens now that's pretty hot someone someone did this one from uh what's the show true it true detective read it it Woody harrison who's standing over the hood of his car talking to McConaughey's character i want you to stop saying odd shit yeah that's a good that's a good tweet Has he tested his dick outside of his nighttime erections? We have to do something about the 1% The top 1% of all vaginas. It's got L. Crispitas dominant.

Dominant usually means above 50% caters at 98.7%. She is taking up 98.7% of the wealth of L. Crispinate. There's no room for opportunistic pathogens, aerobic vaginitis, markers, etc. Yeah, it's me, see, I'm an operudistic pathogen. Ah, and a pH, it doesn't really jive with what I'm trying to do, see. I better find another host. Aerobic vaginitis.

I'm going to fire chemo. I'm sorry. I'm doing a lot. I'm like clip hunting right now. I'm just wondering. I'm going to take a sip of water. Aerobic vaginitis markers. He is trying to fire chemo again.

He is doing like Pilates and shit or like what? Dude, pathogens have no chance, man. That's pretty good. Randy. The pH is just absolutely dialed in. Out there doing Zumba. I don't like this. Did he, was his... He got consent to post. With his methodology... Methodologies.

It didn't sound right coming off that. Okay. Did he like provide her with the Sups and the... Sups dog? You know, the pathway to an elite vagina. Did he set her up? I'm thinking he did. Is Kate's Vigina Elite?

It sounds like it. That's the name of today's show. Kate's vagina. Well, it says, you didn't read this last part here, Dylan. It says a vaginal microbiome is downstream of everything, sleep, glucose control, stress, gut health, sexual health, immune function, what you eat and what you put in it. Okay. So I'm assuming that means that like a good vaginal microbiome is a result of being healthy in general.

It's indicative of overall. So yeah, I would assume. I'm surprised you didn't know that. given how many nachos he knows more about vaginas than i do i'll be honest a nacho king over here and you say you're trying to eat some nachos this weekend yeah i like nachos i don't like eating nachos with dylan he gets poncho style and then eats all the ones with all the toppings that's true it's against the rules though not allowed to do that which is wild um man he's a new man ever since he did started doing drugs yeah ever since his mushrooms

can i can i say something it is a podcast this is your show show man is he gonna eat ass is that is that the next the next phase of this journey i'm asking questions here it's the season he he probably knows that that's a no-go area okay i don't know if i i would see any health benefits to that okay must be nice living in your pedestal think there are health benefits to your your castle health benefits like what i don't miss i thought this we've we've run this thing to the ground. The pH is increasing. Is it time to move on?

If you're still around, it's going to get better. If you stuck with us this long, I wish we had put this towards the middle. So like any family members of mine. We have non-horny stuff going on. Like they already gave up on the show. But now they probably listen to this. Now they've given up. They've also given up on me.

Congrats to Brian Johnson, though. 100 out of a hundred out of a hundred. BJ baby. Why is it Nick Patel? It's not how he talks. I said it's going to get less horny, but this next segment is actually extremely horny. I'm sorry. Oh, he horny, horny.

Hold on. What are the ad reads today? I've tried to, Mother's Day is coming up. I can think of a couple of things I'd like to give your mom. And one of them is an aura frame. Yes. Check this baby out.

What's going on, man? That's you on the food channel, eating. What was that? That's not the meatloid. Is that a pork belly sandwich? Yep. Man, or frames rock. They're the best.

I've given them like three different times, three different people. My parents have one. Here's the deal. It's the goaded picture frame. It's got free unlimited storage. You can add as many photos and videos as you want. You can preload the photos before it ships. That's always easy, sending it to the parents.

They don't want to deal with all those stuff. It's like, already got pictures on it. It's super easy to do. There's a QR code. you scan it and boom you upload pictures and so when they connect it to Wi-Fi they have pictures waiting for them can add a message before it arrives a gift box is included that's big love a gift box and you can share your photos video and videos that's a key effortlessly effortlessly effortlessly download the free or app or text photo straight to your frame i forget you can just text them i always

open the app anyway but yeah i sent a video last night of uh roads that is t-ball practice and it was a hit. Got a response back. Great vid. It's like, thank you. It's awesome. Shout out ORAFram. It's top rated.

Reach number one in the app store on Christmas Day in 2025. Make Mother's Day special with ORAFrames. Name number one by wirecutter. You can save on gifts. Mom's love by visiting ORAFrames.com. For a limited time, listeners can get $25 off their best-selling. CarverMatt Frame with Code Circling.

That's A-U-R-A-Framing.com. Promocode-Circling. Support the channel. Support the show. by mentioning us a checkout terms and conditions do apply you know how hard it is not to just like mix in references from the prior segment into the ad read it's really hard for me i think mixing and every now and then it's okay it did i guess it depends on the prior segment yeah that's true this specific prior segment i got your mom a home test kit i appreciate your your restraint

thank you for knowing that what's this next segment here Oh, God. What's going on? What's going on? What's speaking of the 1%? What's going on with the banks? I don't know, man. You got, y'all got a chill.

The top 1% is for the... The VP is the executive directors. They are revealing their canons to their employees as subordinates. They're bad-mouthing their wives. They're using racial slurs. They are using racial slurs. Yeah, JP Morgan's in some... They're having a day.

They're having a day. Yeah. Yeah. You know they got a big HR department at J.P. Morgan Chase. They're buzzing this morning. Hey, we have to disclose. We have to as journalists that we do banquet with Chase. I am a Chase bank.

Thank you for disclosing that. Do you have anything you want to disclose? I also bank with Chase. Why don't you disclose your pH level? You have a kit? I can measure it. Anyway, I don't have any tweezers. Dude, come on, we're doing, man.

Read the damn story. All right. Don't read all of it. They're still laughing at them. What's this gal's name? Her last name is Hajini. What's her first name? Lorna or something?

What's this gal's name? Her last name's Higini. So she is an executive of sorts. Chase, in this tweet, it doesn't have her title. I don't know exactly what she is for Chase. She's a big dog. She's a big dog. I'm going to tell you that right now.

Someone has filed a lawsuit claiming that basically she is treating him like her personal little sex slave. A John Doe. John Doe. In other words,

he is not releasing his identity. You want me to read you the GROC? Yeah, the Twitter. Sure. Okay, J.P. Morgan Banker sues executive over drugging and abuse claims.

Not a funny thing. It's very serious, man. I'm not laughing. John Doe, an Asian senior vice president in J.P. Morgan's leveraged finance division. Do you know what they do?

They leverage finances. I don't know. Okay. filed a lawsuit this week in New York court accusing executive director Lorna Hajjini, Hadini, a months-long harassment or harassment, Dylan, starting in May of 2024. He describes office groping, explicit demands, apartment assaults, where she allegedly mocked his tears in ethnicity and warnings like, I own you. Doe reported it internally in May of 2025, but claims the bank retaliated with leave and poor references.

J.P. Morgan denies the allegations after an investigation. saying Doe withheld details and plans to fight the suit. Hageni allegedly removed her shirt, began fondling her breasts, and racially insulted Doe's wife. I don't want to read that part. Yeah, you could, you know, it tells us a good bit to skip the slur.

Yeah, you can skip the slur. Especially when it's a slur, no one has said since Vietnam. I bet your little Asian blank wife doesn't have these cannons. All right, that's how you know. Stop, right there. This is as far as I got into the story, before I said, okay, you got to treat these things,

get to look at it objectively as journalists, right? As a woman ever, when referring to her breasts, her own breasts, called her own breast cannons? I can say that's never happened to me personally. Check out these cannons. What was the fucking 80s movie? Could be. This porkies?

Doe claims she then forcibly removed his pants and performed oral sex on him against his will. He continued to protest. and began to cry according to the lawsuit. Higini allegedly admonished him for crying and scolded him for failing to achieve interaction. Stop fucking crying. You think anyone would ever believe you?

You're a fucking douchebag who thinks he's hot shit. Jesus. But you can't even get your dick hard for me. What the fuck is this? She's allegedly sad. Not good. During the second encounter, Hijini allegedly ordered him to suck her toes, push him to the ground and sat on his face, berating him.

when he was unable to sustain arousal. I'm very uncomfortable, please, Lorna, please. I'm begging you. Doe claims he told her. But she allegedly laughed before making a racist remark that at least his genitals didn't taste like curry, according to the complaint. This is a-

So they reported it. So this is a big, J.P. Morgan, you guys, as you're aware, maybe, is a big bank. They tend to, I bet they took this. I actually do believe that, like, they probably took they probably did it said they did an internal investigation it probably brought in outside counsel to do a little deal who knows but like i don't think this woman's like big enough to where it's like they couldn't get rid of her like if they thought any of this was true they would

have gotten rid of her i think i don't know but whatever it's also it's also one of those stories where it's like uh what are you supposed to like what she called them cannons yeah is there a word she could have used where you'd be like wow i could totally see somebody saying that like swangers puppies tits i think girls would still refer as tits hoo-haws check out these hoo-haws there's no way check out these sloppos okay no woman is called them sloppos only you call them sloppos you call them sloppos no i don't i don't say that that's not a word i know how do you even spell that he's this i don't know i've never texted that stop stop go ahead Dylan?

I mean, this is bad. It's not funny. Do your story. This is not funny, Dave. Then why did you put it on the run down? This is alleged sexual assault. You're right. And it's not funny.

Just because it's a woman on the assaulting end. It doesn't make it funny. Can I be a right-wing Twitter guy? Oh, go ahead, please. Are they hiring? Hey. Dude, I just applaud. I guess it's not fair.

So I guess there's an opening now, huh? Is that one of the chat did. It's funny because I literally made that joke to start the pod. Someone in the chat did say. I volunteer replace this man no pay needed so yeah you're gonna need pay

yeah you need to get paid you can't just do it for free that's not enough compensation for me dang sucking toes was this a Houston pool party there it is your wife doesn't have canons like this too

yeah what would you leave her out of this bad enough you're having an affair I don't what are you doing don't berate me and her it'll bring her into this canons I have an eye, okay, can I say something also about cannons?

When somebody refers to those, that part of a woman and calls them cannons or even missiles or pretty much any type of artillery launching device, howitzers, I think of like extreme fakers. I just want to say. I think of like a hilarious 90s boob job. Yeah, I did too. And they're like, yeah. Yeah. So I don't know if cannons is the, I don't know.

That's all I'm saying. Mother of all boobs. What? A couple. Look at these moabs. That's good. Okay. It's not bad.

Wow. So, yeah, it's not funny, though. All right. Twitter's, I will say. Twitter thinks it's funny. Twitter thinks it's real funny. Like, pretty much every avenue of Twitter sat on his face. Every.

That's not good. I hope, I really don't. I hope this isn't true. I hope this is just a frivolous lawsuit. Looking to get a little payout. Yeah. but you know i do i take it seriously although someone did point out she does kind of look like diana russini yeah i saw a little bit i saw that that's a little bit of a reach um yeah this guy's tweet says

imagine if the gender and imagine the outrage if the genders are reversed yeah thank you very obviously yes be a different story you're right it would be yeah probably wouldn't be doing this no and probably still be talking about dillan's lemon party again it's not funny we'd probably be doing uh whatever so brian johnson has a product line supplement line and we've got we're doing ad reads for it and it's it's kind of awesome i love it and also we're doing one ad read for it yeah just it's a it's a test run they bought i'll read so if you guys buy the product with our code they will probably sign up for more reads and here's the thing we want to we obviously want the monies in the product to keep coming in also would love a chance to get brian on the pod absolutely

I have questions. I've got that. It would have to be the entire episode because I have a number of questions dating back two years. You remember, originally got on our radar through his son's

blood boy. He's tracking his son's penises. Penis erection. And he uses his blood in fusions. Penis erection is a weird way to call it a... He's called an erection. Very uncomfortable in this show. Boners.

Yeah. King of Boners. That's true. Mother of all, what did you call? Mother of all boobs. Mother of all boobs. That's pretty good, Randy.

Oh, man. Okay. I guess we're going to monitor the situation. We promise it gets much less horny from here on now. Promise. But it doesn't get less douchey. I'll tell you that much. No, the douche factor is going to skyrocket.

How's the chat like in the show so far? I think they've lost the chat. Are they into it? Yeah. Check in with the chat. A new signal alert. Raddy's checking in with the chat. Play that song.

I'm checking in with the show. the chat boom boom boom we're probably not going to use that one again we're probably not going to use what's the chat saying uh someone said jugs someone said vince McMahon used to call them puppies no that was good that was uh the king that was uh but maybe Vince called him puppies too I sorry go ahead uh someone said a 10 year investigation perhaps call back shout out to Michael that is such a call that's an OG right there front porch that's a that's a old school one that's a big content guy one front porch awnings he calls him awnings shots to the chat that was checking in with the chat why is it quagmire from family

did he do in the segment i guess i i mean she married do we know she's married uh i don't know no clue imagine you're like you are her husband or siga and like you see this you get home you're like Like you read the lawsuit, she gets served, and you're reading her, you're like, Mm-hmm. Knowing her intimately, he knows that if this is true or not, right? How much, it's just real? Did this any of this happen? What if, like...

This is bad, this is really bad and also a little bit embarrassing for me. If this goes to, like, having to do, like, cross-examination, and they, like, so have you ever heard her refer to her own breasts as canons before? Actually, she's like, yeah. Says all the time. Yeah, that's what we call it at home. Man, imagine JP will pay this, this John Doe person,

$250K,000. Just go away. I think it's going to be a little more than that. That's actually nothing. I don't know. I don't know. I should look at all the evidence for making my decision on that. Wow, look at you. Judge Dave, crime dog. Mm-hmm. You can judge a company by their website and domain.

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That's good. That's a good percent. I think they've got to really like that one. All right. We did it on Ad Reid. This next segment, like we said, not as horny, but it gets real dushy. Okay.

This has been served to me a couple of times on Instagram. and I just can't get past it, so I got to talk about it. We got to talk about it. I know Randy has some insight into this as well. Oh, buddy, do I. There is a video of a big, we're in an office here, cubes everywhere. It's a large office space. And this guy wearing a three-piece pinstripe suit with the tie clip, tight pants, and white sneakers is about.

Such a bad look. And a pocket square. He's in the, he's in the fucking. office. A pocket square in an office is, okay, anyway. Here's a little spoiler alert, Dylan. Look how many tabs I have here for this segment. There's more. There's more. This is Randy's like, oh, buddy. Then he's announcing that one of the sales reps for this insurance firm, what are you going to call it, has reached one million in sales. And he's announcing it to the floor here. Okay. Play the video. And let's just say,

I'll say, if you're listening on Spotify right now, this is, this is a time to pick up your phone and watch the segment. It gets visual. This is going to be a visual part of the show for sure. But, you know, if you're listening, you're still going to understand it. But here we go. Listen up. We got a one million dollar producer in the house. Give it up and put your hands together for Mr. Vengeance.

Warren. Let's go, baby. His name is Vengeance Warren. Vengeance. Congratulations, man. Can we pause it right here? One million. Okay.

steps into the frame here. And to set the scene, he's wearing a, is it blue or purple? That's purple. He's wearing a purple. Fucking Joker? Double breasted suit with also a pocket square. Again, tight pants and some really shiny loafers. Oh, that are also purple, Dylan, for your information.

Okay, thank you. I'm colorblind. That's why he's explaining to me. There are purple loafers as well. Super tapered, tight pants, like I said. And his hair, it looks like it's, it looks like he stuck his head out the window on the commute in. Borderline, Polly. It's old school Polly D.

It's sticking straight up. It's the most absurd hairstyle, you can imagine. Okay. Continue. $10.00 in career production here with us on Max. That's super proud of you. Always bringing a positive energy, firing it up the team. Will you share with us a little bit of vengeance about your journey? Who you've become in this process. Again, congrats and share with us. Thank you so much, Max.

Yeah, so before I started here, I was actually working at Charlie's Cheese Takes while I was in college. So my brother actually offered me to be his assistant. Started to see if sales was going to be something for me. I absolutely loved it. Ended up coming into this opportunity. Crushed my first couple of milestones. The energy and the culture, I have never been in an environment where there's positivity just radiating through every single person that I've met.

And because of that, it pushed me to be so much more of a man and of a business owner than I ever imagined that I could. Okay. This this like subsect of like corporate culture is this is so ridiculous. I don't think it's corporate. And here's the thing that as Davis said, I am, I've been on this. He hates these people, dude. I am usually a very positive person and not much of a hater, but I'm going to be a hater right now.

And maybe this whole segment, maybe I'm just a hater because maybe they're doing something right and they're making a bunch of money. But there are multiple examples of this across the country. where these people just like they dress like that or they flex on Instagram, all their, their stuff. And every single time they are selling life insurance. And I had a good talk with a backer about this too. And like it seems like who are they selling this life insurance to? And I don't, it just doesn't seem like it's like doable. And I have multiple examples of like every single one of these dushy guys on Instagram are like selling life insurance. And it makes no sense.

It's like a sales trainer culture. And all of them too are part of this like corporate thing where if you watch the video, they had this like little like like show where they were giving out awards and stuff. And like all these different companies get these really young kids and like they train them up with this whole hustle mindset and sell life insurance. And then they'll have these little like corporate retreat, not even retreat things like, you know. Immersive bathhouses. No, but like you know, a stage like an award show thing. for them.

Yeah. It's all very performative. They have a bunch of seminars, and it's like, what is going on here? So I'm going to show you guys a little bit more. I'm really upset that the one- They dressed like absolute fucking clown. The one that started this all for me and Dave was this one from a local person in Austin

and him going through his apartment on Rainy Street. He's doing the start from the cold plunge. Dave knows this one. I can't. If I find out one of these guys, called my parents to try to sell them an insurance policy or something, I would call the police. That's the biggest thing. So here's this kid. Excuse me. How much she pay for rent here in downtown Austin? I have a one bed. I pay a $4,800 a month. You think it's worth it? Speaking of which,

$4,800 a month, one bed, we know I'm getting much better after. Yes, you are. Should have had Randy do your negotiation, buddy. Let's continue. Yeah, it's 100% worth it. I move from Cali. The building is insane. He's in the coal plunge right now. I mean, dude, I'm kind of busy right now, but yeah, let me get out. We'll check it out. Welcome to my crib. Got a nice, beautiful island here. Here's the kitchen.

I mean, I'll be honest. I don't really cook much, just door-dash everything. Yeah, we know, dude. The concierge bring everything up, which is nice. And then here's the couch. I mean, late at night, I like to lay down there. Look at this city. And then we got the balcony right here.

Rainy Street's right down there. I love being able to, like, see everything up below. It's awesome. I love this. This is the bedroom. Nothing too crazy. Keep him. A lot of people flamed him for his bed in the corner.

Yeah. Why are you putting that in the corner, dude? It's a big bedroom. So I won't go more on this guy. But like, he's one of these kids. And maybe I'm just a hater. We looked at, didn't you look up one of these companies, you and Brett? Yeah.

Your bed can't touch two walls. No. That's a rule. Yeah. And it's just like, it's all these people have their own agency and they're part of life insurance sales. And it's really, it's really something. Let's get on to more of like the douchey ones. Holy shit, baby

What the fuck? How you like 10 apples? How much a month? Like, are you buying life insurance from these people, Dylan? I don't think so. 3.49 a month. What's that going to pay them?

Oh my God. They're very online. It's every single one of these... You just ripped a C-note and a half. Every single one of these guys' favorite movie is Wolf of Wall Street, is what it is. Yeah, you're right. They're trying to recreate the bullpen in Wolf of Wall Street.

Street. And like, 49 of selling life insurance. Let's get after it. It's always life insurance. And I don't know what's going on. Up and on the phones. Now, up. Dude, these guys look like the dude to sell pest services to my door. The guy that rang more my doorbell at 7.30 the other night. Look at this scene here of the background. This is just a fraternity selling life insurance. Dude, it is, it is male friendship. By the way, not a lady in sight.

No. Have you seen a woman yet? I have not. I have not. B, King D. So what's up, baby? The best. Is that cold McCourt? Last year, how much money did you make? I made 600K last year. 600K.

How long you've been here? A little over two years. So I think that this video kind of explains it the most. Like, this is a, I think this is a fake interview, but I think this kind of shows. We're on a virtual life insurance sales team. And how much money do you make for your selling life insurance? So this year, we're already at about $2 million in revenue, but net income I'll probably end up around $800,000. Wow.

And how long you've been doing this for? I've been doing this coming up on four years. Now, how did you get started this industry? Tell us your story. So I was in community college, and I didn't really like school. So I was always looking for a way out. And I saw a ton of people on Instagram posting how much money they were making selling life insurance from home.

So after watching them do it for months and months, I figured if they could do it, I could probably do it too, if not better. So eventually I dropped out and just started working when I was 19. See, I think that is the perfect example of what is going on here. It's these young kids are being told that they can make tons of money and And it's working, but maybe I'm just a hater or maybe there's something more Fischer here. This guy could this could be a totally fake interview but I think What's the chat saying? I don't I'll see chat I want to know what this means for the

The economy as a whole like is this something like the big short is there something here that There's something more underneath is this money laundering I don't know it just doesn't seem like it's legit who's bad Yeah. Like, how- If my first day at that, if that office, if something like that, if I see these guys how they're dressed and the big charade they're putting, I'm walking out. Everybody's pretty beefy.

I just don't belong. Oh, you have to be in good shape. It's a lot of beefy boys. No chicks, again. This guy, the guy on the right, he does a lot of these type of interviews. I've seen him a bunch. And he always does, anytime he asks a question, he does this with his arm.

Yeah. Every time, it really annoys me. So it's just, it's just something that I've been looking at. It's, it's, it's, I don't understand what's happening, why it's always life insurance. If you're an independent journalist, maybe look into this. There could be a story here. I don't know. To all the independent journalists who listen to this show, we just gave you a little bone. Or maybe I'm just a hater. Maybe I'm just a hater, Dave. This guy's, this guy's met now, 800K net. Exactly. Yeah, bro. Exactly. I'm out you're trying to get my apartment to give me an $80 discount.

I want- I was making $800K a year. I still want someone putting a camera in my face be like, how much did you make last year? You know? Well, the one that I wanted to show. How much did you make last year? As you can tell, I'm definitely, I get heated about this.

No, dude, I'm glad that you do. I don't want to buy life insurance from somebody under 30. We're connecting our hatred for these people, Randy, and I like you. You have to be above the age of 30 to sell me life insurance. Because I had a backer reach out to me that used to sell life insurance. Not like this, though. And he thought I was against life insurance. I'm not against life insurance.

I want to make sure that's clear. It's I'm against these. Something is going on here. I think there's something more going on here. And I can't get past it. Randy's, Randy's looking for clues. I am.

You think it's a money laundering scheme. Maybe or something. It's like they're taking these very impressionable young kids and just saying like, hey, grooming them. You can make all this money. And they're not going to, they're not going to question. It's like, oh, I'm getting $20,000 a month.

Yeah. And be a douche bag at the same time. Exactly. Randy's a hater. I am a hater. Maybe I'm a hater. Rain, you'd be good at this. Maybe. I don't know.

Think about you bringing your wacky little ass in there. Of course, they're standing in front of a lambode for this interview. Exactly. I wish I'm not buying life insurance from somebody who's ever been inside of a Lamborghini. Yeah. That's a good rule of thumb. Yeah. Sorry.

It's not that it's not that personal. It's just I don't want you selling me life insurance. I think it also, like, I don't want my life insurance broker like, going on Instagram flexing about how much money they just made off of me. Seriously, dude. It's so off-putting. I worked at a place where they had a car rule. If you got into sales, you couldn't have a, like a, you could have a nice car,

but you couldn't have like a gaudy car because I didn't want a clients to see and be like, you flaunting your money. I get it. Yeah. All right. Ready? May he rest in peace. I don't want your life insurance.

Okay. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. RIP. I think some of these guys are hard workers, too, but I just, I feel like there's something more. No, we hate them.

Everybody looks like either Morgan Wallen or like Rob Grancowski. With the blowout. It's just a bad. The blowout on the first guy. I'm not fitting. Yeah. That video that...

I'm walking in there and they're just like... It looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. There was another video that got removed because I had kept some of these with that one backer that I was talking this about. And it was like another office atmosphere and they're like the least like producer has to do this. So like the people with the least amount of sales had to do the one chip hot challenge.

And like the kid that did it was in one of these like three piece suits like that. He had to been like 19 had like the broccoli hair like Mohawk thing. And he said what Park said. He was like, no, bra. No, I can't do this. And I'm like, I'm like, you're a life insurance salesman. Another rule. Don't buy anything from a guy in a three piece suit.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's a good rule. No, I worked at a place like this. And if you didn't produce, you didn't hit your goal. You had to get completely naked. And all the brothers or coworkers, they'd get their paddles out and they'd spank your bare butt as you ran around the house. Honestly, it doesn't seem like that's too far off for some of these offices.

They all do cold plunges, all of them. This guys are super deep in peptides. Yeah, they love it. They probably have like a, like a, like a. corporate spont, like a corporate deal at some health club. Oh, yeah. These guys are at Equinox. Yes.

Yes. You know, starting something new isn't just hard. It's terrifying. It's why it's nice to have Shopify on board. So much work goes into a thing that you're not entirely sure to work out. It can be hard to make a leap of faith. Trust me. We started this podcast business.

We weren't sure what we were doing. What if nobody listens? What if we embarrass ourselves? What if the first segment today is, you know, The one that we did. Way too horny. We don't know. Well, it helps to have a partner like Shopify on your side.

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Shopify. Ching. There you go, Randy. Hey, uh, I think we could just, get the merchant of death for the show he's just doing pods he's on twitter he's he did he did alex jones pod the merchant of death of course if you are unfamiliar with the merchant of death he is the uh the gentleman who we exchanged uh brittney griner for in the the russia

swap that's how we got b g back we we released a uh an arms dealer A proficient, famous, well-known arms dealer. Yeah, a merchant of death. A merchant of death, yes. He specializes in death. Just selling arms, weapons, weaponry, maybe moabs, maybe cannons. Maybe you have results of cannons. Probably.

If we got them on, will we just watch some, like, Britney Griner highlights and talk about her stuff? Watch this. Watch this footwork in the post. Watch this. Boom. Oh, mouse in the house, mouse in the house. Barbecue chicken. All right.

Play the video. Dylan used to do an impression of this guy, and I think it's pretty spot on. I love that. Germany now trying to prepare its own nation for the fight. They're talking about inscription. They're talking, you know, forceful. So everybody obligatory military service.

They're talking about increasing their military spending, like several faults. And for them, again, you know, they start remembering what their, you know, grandfather was doing while serving in, you know, SS troops. He's worried about the militarization of Europe. So this is a renaissance of the neo-Nazism in Europe. And it's, believe me, will not end up very well. Okay. This tweet notes, turns out legendary arms dealer, Victor Bout, not only has an account here.

on Twitter, but is posting brutally frank, third world taxi driver geopolitical analysis. And that is a good way to describe it because if you go to his account at real, real Victor bout, I love that. That's what he's doing. He'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he's chiming in on Trump, Iran, all that stuff. He's going to get a follow, I think. Oh, I followed him. Yeah, you have to.

Is Victor spelled, just K? What to see. Surprisingly. Oh. You might learn something. I like that he's back into the swing of things, not dealing arms, but dealing takes, hot takes. Just giving you some analysis, letting you know what's up. Entrepreneur, public figure, real Russian patriot, former American prisoner.

But no longer American prisoner because he looks good. We swapped him. We swapped him out. And a totally one-sided deal where we got absolutely fleeced. No offense of Bertie Griner. Is the way, okay, if the worst thing he's doing is doing, little vlogs. I don't disagree with...

Britney's back in the league, dude. Yeah, I don't disagree with what he had to say. She wanted Natty at Baylor. Kim Mokke. It's a good Baylor team. She did, yeah. Very tall. She was a dominant, dominant player.

Six, seven, I believe. Bro, I get that of prison. I was in the Supermax, man. And everyone I said, they asked me, uh, how many times a day did you eat? I said, I don't know, six or seven. And then they, whoa, he said it. And I said, what the?

What is it, man? I don't get it, bro. So that was on Info Wars, that stuff. That must have gotten right before because it's officially part of the onion now, right? Uh, yes, I guess. I forgot that the onion bought them all. I think that. What's the onion going to do with Info Wars?

Bro, man, back in my day, we just ate onion. That's all we ate. Are you turning into a parody? I had to eat onion. It's actually good. Make me cry. Only time I cry ever, onion. Yeah.

I cut it up. Oh, my tears. John? What's up with Brian Johnson? What's he doing now? Dude, he's eating, he's eating top tier pee. Angway. Yeah.

I really hope that. Top tier pee. People I love and cherish don't listen to this episode. A smart podcast would have buried that segment toward the end. It's not us, man. Guys, these guys are mailing it in for the week. Not us.

We led with it. I mean, I'm happy for audience. That's why they're a faves, man. First day, first time, a long time, man. Been listening since the touching base days. I mean, you guys did lead off with, like, human decanting that one episode, too. I'm pretty sure.

So there's precedent here. I was an all-timer, man. I just feel like people don't want to hear. the specific bacteria. Surely he, like she had to sign off on him releasing that information. Yeah. She's, I mean, she's probably. Otherwise, he's going to be looking for a new girlfriend.

Yeah. He's going to be a little hungry, if you know what I mean. Brian? Girls are texting me. They said that you, did you, uh, did you give my pH level online? I mean, it is the everything app. But what happened to Twitter, man? It used to be, uh, is X now?

What's going on there, huh? Well, Elon Musk? Yeah. Isn't he the PayPal guy? A lot has changed since when you got arrested. Man, I went and they gave me my things and they said, is your Blackberry? And I said, oh, thank God, my Blackberry.

It didn't work. Everyone has iPhone. You know, it's insane. I don't know how much you know about the trade. We're giving you up, you know, someone that sold a lot of arms and probably caused a lot of death. You know, merchant a death or someone that smoked a pot. I had one pot and I have one onion. It's all I had to eat.

Onion stew. No one smokes no more. You see this? Everyone's doing the vape. Like what? You put that in you? Just give me cigarette. You know that dude burns heaters.

Oh, bro. Do you think he would like your impression of him? Probably not. And I'd like to keep it that way. Well, if we get him on the pod, it's going to have to come on. All right. Come on, dude. Hey, check out.

This guy does a mean victor. This guy does a good merchant of death. Oh. Actually, we're going to have an episode where we have two guests on. It's going to be the Merchant of Death and Sam Taylor on the same episode. And we're just going to have a little round table. There's too much heat for one. I lived off of vodka.

Why even open up to D? Vaca. That's so stupid. Just comment vodka and I'll send you the recipe. Matt all ranchos. Man, in jail, we had no entertainment. All I wanted to do was watch Mrs. Doughtfire. My favorite of all time.

Robin Williams goaded, man. You think so? Did you see there's musical coming? This is stupid. Let's just do our weekend and fun. Bro, let's go out this weekend. There's a crazy event happening. I like to turn up.

Bro, there's a crazy event happening. We had the party and it was lit. I got yelled out by a prostitute. Let's just go have fun and let go a little. Let's go. Presented by upcoming sponsor, longevity. Where is the? Blueprint.

Blueprint. We don't have the code yet. We did it. I should have done, save the read for this. That's okay. We did it already. We got to take mine this morning. Ooh, I could tell you were dogging it a little bit.

Yeah, a little bit. You look a little. Look like you lost some steam. Let's let, no, come on. Let's let's let Randy start off. I'm looking up at the images of the Mrs. Doubtfire musical. I would go to that. I'm not kidding.

I mean, it looks pretty cool. Why not? I'll hear about it. Look at it. Look at it, Dylan? Does this not look fun? No. I saw Fiddler.

the roof once. Yeah, it's still its two least favorite things, musicals and, and Mrs. Dalfire. What are you doing,

Randy? You do have a big weekend. I do have a big weekend. I'm bearing the lead here with Mrs. Dalfire. What's your about it? Because I do not have a bleak end coming up.

It's on the alarm. Got a bachelor party, local one here in Austin. Brett and I are going on it for our buddy Nick. Congrats to Nick and Nick. A.K. Blaine Jr.

Yes, yes. So it starts tonight. Going to do some dinner at Murray's Tavern. Tomorrow we're going to go go karting at Kota. I know last Bachelor party in Austin and I said that we're going to do that at Kota and we didn't it.

We did indoor. Are you all out all day tomorrow? Both of y'all? Yes. Taking the whole day for a go-karting, huh? Yeah. It must be a marathon. It's at 10.30.

So. Okay. Yeah, we're probably going, yeah, 10.30 a.m. And then we're going straight until lunch and hang out. We got dinner tomorrow night. Which I'm hoping. Let's see. I'm hoping the go-carting still happens.

It's supposed to be pretty rainy tomorrow, but he did call ahead yesterday or two days ago, and they said we were still on. So. Yeah. Sounds like fun. Brett needs to redeem himself. He does.

God does he ever. I will always say that, like, I'll give it to him. He did get a shitty car. I got third place, and he did, uh... Don't admit that to him in, like, in front of him.

I have, I have. He knows. He did, Randy gave it away. We did, like, three heats. And like, the top, the top, The first two heats, he was like top three every time.

And then he just got a really bad car. So we're doing that. We're going to be doing some dinners. We were supposed to float the river. But it's going to be like 67 here in Austin, May. That's wild. Yes, of course. Just go do it anyway.

We're going to do, I think, Butler Pitchin' Pud and Terry Blacks and stuff like that, too. And go to the immersive bathhouse as well, maybe. Ooh, there you go. Going to do a little some more food. Derby is this weekend, I think. So we're going to watch some of that or at least the qualifiers or whatever. So it's going to be a lot of hanging out there, B&B going out, eating food, having a good old time. So I'm very excited for it.

No bleakened this weekend. No bleakened. Social Randy. Dylan. I'm happy for you, Randy. Well, Parks is supposed to have a baseball game on Friday. I don't think it's going to happen. A lot of rain headed this way.

So I don't, maybe we'll go out to eat or something. I don't know. I want to go to Mass. You're going to go to Edson. Ranchos. No, we're due for mats. We're due. Sounds good.

I kind of want to do that. Saturday Parks has a birthday party to go to. And then he's having two buds come over for a sleepover at our place. I'm pretty excited for it. Two buds. You're going to scare them? Maybe. Maybe.

You should scare him or tell them like a scary story. Have him do Bloody Mary in the bathroom? Yeah. Used to do that. That's terrible. That's not. don't never be allowed over again. Yeah, so Saturday, I'm looking forward to it.

That'll be fun. And then he's got another game on Sunday, weather should be nicer, so I'm thinking that one is going to happen. Yes, I missed a day. And that's pretty much it, man. We're watching some baseball, watching some hockey maybe,

you know? He's going to chill, man. It'll be a good one. He's going to chill, man. What about you, David Boy, boy, boy toy? The boy toy. Boy Toys watching game six tonight. I think we're going to bounce back.

I think we respond too good of a team to lay another egg like that. Got to have the urgency for three periods. God, get pucks on net. Please. Tomorrow, I'll be in office. I wish nobody invited me to go go-karting, darn it. So I'll be here. Just type, type, typing away.

Typing away, boy. tomorrow night nothing T-ball practice T-ball practice Saturday hoping that gets in because we need it because the playoffs start Monday first playoff game is Monday

this is big this is T-ball this is four five and six-year-olds playing T-ball single elimination or what double this year it's double other than that

nothing crazy so gonna get to smoke something or any good I don't know. You might have to wait for the washed weekly to find out what Dave is cooking this weekend. How about that? All right.

See you tomorrow for voicemails. Check out our Patreon. Thanks to everybody tuned in. We're going to run it back first. Oh, run it back. Of course, this segment during which we talk about what we talked about all week long. Dylan was the big hunk of white trash spitting sunflower scenes all over the ballpark at Rhodes' game. We're working on that smack and sponsorship.

Don't worry, guys. Brought some in today. Dave's going to try them. Texas Tech could Honeypot some quarterback at another school Maybe he'll clap some cheeks Get him kicked out, then sign him. That was from KJ.

Claude thinks KJ's facial Darkness is a weakness. Okay. Again from KJ and Claude. Brett thinks, sorry, Claude thinks Brett bricked his fit. KJ has watched enough bang bros to know who's in on the plan for the video.

Okay. Dave had a beer Tuesday night. It's true. Dylan's never worked with leather at all. I don't know who added that one. You did say that. I did say that. Specifically.

We're sorry for the extra horny episode today. And finally, no bleak end ahead for Randy. And that concludes, run it back. Very excited. See you tomorrow on Patreon. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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