Circling Back - Sea Shanties & Cocaine Rhinos

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Sea Shanty Twitter and Tiktok has officially taken over, Pablo Escobar’s “Cocaine Hippos” are terrorizing Colombia, people are using Dave’s recycling container to hide their Twisted Teas, New Radicals are playing at the Inauguration, and Brett’s Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:22) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (28:45) Sea Shanty Time (41:26) Escobar’s Cocaine Hippos (58:35) Inauguration Bands (1:06:17) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors World Series of Poker: Download the app and use WSOPSTEAM for 1 million chips) Thompson Cigars: www.thompsoncigar.com (CIRCLING for 15% OFF orders over $75 OR 20% OFF orders over $99) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge it's monday my name is will defries my right dave ruff to the um young man who decided to use my recycling bin as a place to deposit his twisted tea when you say young you're talking like what 25 under 30 didn't get a good look at him randy popped up i was like i heard this vehicle outside and uh you know it's trash day recycling day got our full thing out there a lot of boxes i was joking i thought he was much younger he was okay um and i see somebody putting something in my bin and i'm immediately i'm thinking this is payback because i probably put like dog poo in someone's bin when i was a kid or like i don't know what a number of things ran through my mind so i still do that by the way but keep going yeah i ran out there and i look and um it was just uh just a

twisted tea and i wanted to yell at the guy and be like hey do you know how much sugar is in one of these so you're gonna narc on him aren't you you're gonna tell you a narc no i'm like no i don't know who the person is you gotta stick to the g code day don't tell i literally don't know. I think this guy was like 25 years old. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So. Well. They're having a moment.

I also had recycling issues yesterday. I was doing some cleaning around the house. Tried to do some recycling, as you do. Went to the trash chute, or the recycling chute next to the trash chute or the recycling chute next to the trash chute, and somebody had tried to put an entire plastic bin, like a storage bin, down the chute. Dude, why is the chute always getting blocked? And then they clearly knew what they did wrong, and they took the flap that protects the chute.

They have a flap in front of it that you have to push stuff through to go in there. They took it and they put it over the bin inside the chute because they couldn't get the bin out. I was like, dude, what's your problem? They just put it in there and said it's somebody else's problem. Can you even recycle a storage bin made out of plastic? I don't think so. I'm not real sure about what you can and can't recycle. I miss trash chutes, man.

Trash chutes are kind of fun. You just throw them down and they're gone. It's kind of tight. Trash chutes, fucking go. They're fun. They're kind of fun. I called your old house the trash chute. Do you ever have a laundry chute in your house?

I once got lowered down it. Really? Yeah, my aunt was babysitting. Those are old school. She allowed us to do something that we had wanted to do our entire childhood, which was take my dad's lasso. We just had one of those sitting around the house. Of course.

Wrapped it around ourselves and got in a sleeping bag, and then we lowered ourselves down the chute about three stories. It was very irresponsible. That's tight. Very irresponsible. Man, I just realized that houses don't come with hampers anymore. Growing up, my house had a hamper, like in the cabinet. I used to have a hamper.

I loved it. There was shit in there. It was nice because it was out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, you don't see those anymore, do you? We had something no one had called a can chute. You ever heard of can chute? A cannon chute? No, can.

Oh, can chute. You know how in Michigan or states that are near water and stuff, you get deposits back for cans? We got 10 cents in Michigan per can. Yeah, it's five here. And so everyone saves their cans. And my dad made a shoot that went through the first story down into the basement. So you could just take the cans, throw them down the shoot, and there was just a giant trash can down there collecting them. That's fucking-

Great call by the man. That's sick. That's pretty sick. Pretty swag. Innovative, man. So I remember when I was like probably 9 or 10, my parents like went out of town. They forgot me. And I had these little figurines, and I set them up on our chute, and I got my pellet gun.

Really? My older brother's pellet gun, and I was just shooting them off like a marksman one, and then they would fall down the chute. Where'd your parents go? They were in, I don't know, Florida for Christmas? Was that the year they went to Paris? I thought they went to Paris. Oh, yeah, it was Paris, that year. I've always heard you bitching about how you didn't get to go to Paris.

Anything else happen while they were away? I was supposed to go. Yeah, these two guys, these two bandits. What? Yeah, it's not a big deal. You don't want to hear about it. Did this make the local news or anything? Surprisingly, no.

Huh. Did you call the police or anything when the bandits got there? No, I didn not a big deal. You don't want to hear about it. Did this make the local news or anything? Surprisingly, no. Huh. Did you call the police or anything when the bandits got there? No, I didn't think about that. You have to get rid of them, though. Like what you do. Just a series of hijinks, cranks and traps, booby traps. This is wild. You did cranks and booby traps?

I feel like you would have told us this story before. It seems like a pretty significant. Dude, your life is a movie. Yeah. I sold the rights to this. Really? Yeah. To It seems like a pretty significant. Dude, your life is a movie. Yeah. I sold the rights to this. Really? Yeah. To a studio, a major studio.

Did you do okay? I don't think anything ever came of it, though. Did you do okay with it? No. A little signing bonus up front, but nothing on the back end. That's too bad. It's cool. I thought it was cool.

Speaking of stuff on the back end, we do have Dylan Chivry in the building today. Double speaking about stuff on the back end. I'm on a little leg journey right now. Really? Yeah. I'm trying to get that Randy Bodacious booty and just thicker legs. Did you stop normalizing that? I'm just trying to get thicker legs.

I'm testing Klein's theory about me just getting monster legs. I'm giving it a go. Do you want to do what I do? What? Which is just go on the Peloton with terrible form so it's all relying on your legs? Maybe. What else would it rely on? I mean, people who bike have...

What are you supposed to use on the Peloton? With my form, I rely much more on my calves than most people should when they're doing a Peloton. Calves and quads. My form is trash, which is why... People who bike have dope legs. They just do. I love when there's a dude just biking down 360 and just looking down and being like,

wow, that guy's got fucking calves on him. He's got the pumps. If you'll start to notice my legs getting bigger, I would love a compliment. Just throw one my way. I'll take it. It'll mean a lot to me. So after all these years, you're finally going to start doing leg day? I know.

I've always done legs, but not like I'm doing them now. I'm actually going hard. No one cares how much you leg press. I don't like leg press. It's a lot of strain on the lower back. Be careful. Did y'all see that video? Oh, yeah.

Who is that? I don't know. That's Functional Strength Guy. I love that. I love that, though. Yeah, Functional Strength Guy. What did he say? If something happens, it's not going to matter how much you leg press. cares if you like press 1300 pounds but if you can squat i think he was the

strength coach from michigan was it i think that makes sense yeah i think you're right it was actually like old old school okay okay i guess that his functional strength would make sense in that in that uh context who do you think can leg press the most at Washed Media? You. I think Randy. Because he does actual bikes. That's a good call. You've got dad legs. Historically, leg press is the only thing I can do in the gym where I actually look like someone who does stuff.

But if you do upper body with me, people are just like... There are girls at the gym who are like, you know, they're thick in the right ways. Like they got butt and legs. What do you mean by that? Like they have nice lower halves.

Thick. What's another adjective? Bodacious? God damn it. There you go. There you go. And they flat out leg press like twice as much as I do. And I don't get it.

I'm like, what are you doing? Well, ladies typically have strong lower bodies. You know, ladies is pimps too. Compared to their upper bodies. I don't know. There's something like that. I don't know. There's something to that.

I don't know. I'll probably get canceled for that shit. Fuck me. But they, yeah. There's just cancel cultures out of control. They have stronger legs than your boy. What's more surprising at this point? That none of us have gotten canceled yet or that none of us have gotten COVID yet?

Why would you say either of those things? I've gone with it twice. There you go. Is this real wood? No, it's particle wood. It's like compressed wood. What's particle wood? Yeah, what is it?

It's compressed wood. Actually, this might be real. Let's see. I'm going to look at the underside. This is compressed. It's basically just saw dust. I bet you've compressed some undersides in your day. I don't get it. What do you mean?

Anyway. Bodacious. What were we saying? I don't know. Oh, yeah. I want a leg journey, and I would just like some support. And again, let me emphasize, if you see change in my in the shape of my legs. Did you measure your legs? I would love a compliment. Measure your legs.

It's the only way you're going to be able to tell. Just get a little tape measure, wrap it around the quad, and you'll know. I like to just do the mirror check. Then quit asking us. You look dope today. I'm just saying I want some encouragement, you dumb jerk. Jeez. I'm encouraging you.

I think it'd be great. We'll see what happens. Maybe because you're doing lower body, I'll start doing upper body. That's not going to happen. You should get the bike. I'll do upper body once I get vaxxed. Don't you have the bike from Bruno?

I don't have the bike from Bruno, David. What's wrong with you, dude? God, dude. Randy's clearly a big Bruno guy. Yeah, Randy lovesandy loves bruno big shocker randy laughs at that one bruno was a great skit sketch not a great movie movie did not hit uh it kind of hit for me not like borat though well borat the first time like my wife yeah did y'all hear that no i always thought ollie g was a little overrated in terms of his characters.

Oh. The Ali G. Yeah, Ali G is my least favorite. I enjoy it, but I just think that, like, people got way too obsessed with Ali G. Respect. There was a Bruno after 9-11, and he's, like, in L.A. L.A.? L.A.?

And he's talking to some dude who's like a stylist for the stars hair stylist and like he just gets him to say the most absurd shit like he's like what would you say to like the terrorists and it's like this guy like looks into the camera he's like

all you motherfuckers out there it goes on and you're like dude this is not gonna age well why are you doing this? And he's like, he's asking him, he's like, what's the, what's the in this religion? He's like, uh, probably like Buddhism right now. And he's dead serious. And he's like, what about Jesus? Jesus had great style.

I was like, yeah, no, he really did with all the cloth. It's unreal. Jesus was kind of dripping. I did love Yash or East don't think so. East don't think so. No one understood that. They were just like,

what? What are we doing here? Jesus, take the Johns. Okay. Dylan doesn't know what John means. I know what Johns are.

You don't know what Johns are, dude. It's like an all-encompassing word of just like cool shit, right? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, man. Thanks. I crushed it. It was't know what Johns are, dude. It's like an all-encompassing word of just, like, cool shit, right? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, man, thanks. Yeah, I crushed it.

It was cool until you said that. Yeah. You killed Johns. How does that feel? Damn, I'm sorry. My browser just crashed. That's tight. Well, your computer's from, like, 1997.

Yeah, I need to upgrade. Let me, let me upgrade. It's twice I've done that today. Before Dylan starts singing more, let's get some programming notes out of the way. First of all, go follow Circling Back Pod and Watch Media on the Grom. Add me on the group. I'm going to say that again. Go follow Circling Back and Watch Media on the Grom.

Add me on the group. Leave a review and five-star rating. Also, YouTube.com slash Watch Media. Every episode, besides when Randy's just out for a week randomly, are usually up there. And this week's Patreon schedule, we got Bachelor tomorrow. Let's go. Hey, look. These are early Eppies hits, dude.

It's a fun season. This is the time to get in. First five Eppies are always good. It's already a million times better than the Claire season. The Claire-tacious season. The fire dancing girl passed out or tried to pass out at the rose ceremony even though she already had a rose. What a disappointment that fire dancing.

Her TikTok of fire dancing, she's just basically holding two candles. If that's what you need to be like a, quote, professional fire dancer, then, like, we're all professional fire dancers. She didn't do anything cool. If you're a professional fire dancer, you need to be throwing, like, flaming batons in the air. And you need to be doing it with gasoline in your mouth the entire time so that your closing thing is just blowing all the gasoline out. Well, by definition, to be professional is something that means you get paid to do it. No one's paying her to do that with fire. Maybe a really shitty wedding.

I mean, okay. Like, tiki night at Wilmont's. Like, I mean, we probably can't afford her. Would y'all even hire her? Like, I could probably do that shit. Todd can do that shit. No questions asked. I hire her? No. I could probably do that shit. Tide can do that shit. No questions asked. I'll look just as good doing it.

Yeah. Whatever. Either way, Bachelor. Recap tomorrow and then on Friday. Listener voicemails. If you're at all interested in The Bachelor, we did put an extended preview of our first episode of this month's, or I guess this season of Circling Batch on

the main feed. Scroll back a couple weeks and you'll find it. Allow us to earn your business. Please. Shall we get right into it? Let's recap this weekend in fun presented by the World Series of Poker. Have you guys ever watched the World Series of Poker on TV and dreamed of winning big like the pros?

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hone in your hold'em skills in virtual cash games and tournaments, play in casino mode to go up against the house, or just connect with your Facebook account to set up a virtual table with your friends. Whole squad about to be playing virtual poker together? You're probably not going out a lot right now. Stay home. All my homies love poker. Play with the friends. Whole squad about to be playing virtual poker together? You're probably not going out a lot right now. Stay home. All my homies love poker. Play with the boys and the girls.

No, if there's one thing I haven't done in a really long time, it's go throw bones at a casino. Or play poker at a casino. Yeah. But now, it's as close to the real thing as you can get without the $10,000 buy-in. You know it's $10,000 to buy into the World Series of Poker? I did know that, yes. I think we should front you.

I'm looking at Dylan right now. It would be a waste of $10,000, but it would be a lot of fun for me. So, yes, please front me. Are you actually going to hold him, or do you think you'd just get – I would play mind games with you the entire time. I know your tell already. I can hold my own, yeah. The cool thing about playing online is that, obviously, you don't show your tell to anybody. That is, yeah. That and the cool thing about playing online is that, obviously, you don't show your tail to anybody.

That is, yeah. That and the cool thing about playing online is that you're playing online. My poker face. Gaga. The World Series of Poker app is a great way to improve your poker skills, and the best part, it's free to download. So if you're tired of social distancing, now you can get easily set up with a virtual poker game with your friends. Get easily set up with a virtual poker game with your friends. And it's the number one free poker game in the World Series of Poker.

Always has a ton of players online to match up against whenever you want to play. Just anybody. Let's do it. Mob with the boys or the ladies. Coincidentally, I watched Casino Royale last night. Really? It's on Netflix for free right now. It is. Oh, man.

You've seen it before, right? It's been a long time, and I forgot most of it. So it was good to get back in there. So be on your lookout for all the crazy and fun events coming up around the holidays, too. Best of all, you can get one million chips as a bonus gift when you join today. So what's the holdup? Download the WSOP app in the App Store or on Google Play and Amazon now. And don't forget to use our promo code WSOPSTEAM for 1 million bonus chips when you sign up.

That's 1 million bonus chips when you download the WSOP app using promo code WSOPSTEAM. 1 million bonus chips. Come on, man. Lasers. Come on. Smashing. Did you also think it was weird when she asked how his steak was and he said skewered? Never gotten over that part.

They're on the train. Why do you say that? How was your steak? Skewered. Is that like innuendo? Just say it was well done. Skewered. Just say they crushed it.

Skewered. This is one of those stories that we're about to talk about that it really came to a head on Wednesday or Thursday when the recording for the week had already been done. I thought we were doing This Weekend in Fun. Oh, yeah. Sorry. We can do This Weekend in Fun. Dylan wants to have a fun weekend.

Sorry. I am very horny for C-Shanty Twitter. Sorry. I'm the horniest for C-Shanty Twitter at this point. I'll keep it short because I didn't really do much, you know? Your boy is just – I'm not even drinking right now. I'm just like – I'm just optimizing right now. I'm an optimized face.

You're doing sober January? Yeah, I am. But I started on the third, like I said last time. Not even drinking, man. Must have missed that. Just working out, eating right. I'm like so optimized. It's crazy. It's interesting. I feel. I'm like so optimized. It's crazy.

I feel like I have superpowers almost. It's awesome. But yeah, I didn't do anything. I had the homie on Saturday. We just straight up chilled. It was tight. Got a little bike ride off. The dude's really into bikes now. It's cool. It's fun for me. A little Lance Armstrong over here. Yeah.

He's got training wheels. It's a cute scene. Yeah. Does he wear like full spandex and stuff when he's doing it? Uh-huh. That's sick. Yeah. Training wheels or nah? Oh, yeah.

He just said training wheels. He's got training wheels. I don't listen to him. I said it's a cute scene with the training wheels. I don't know. He's got a little Spider-Man helmet. Do you think there's anyone

in like the Tour de France that like still needs training wheels? I don't think so. They're probably pretty good at this point. Just put it out there. I'm still training. Yeah.

I didn't do anything. I watched football. Oh, dude, with the boys. Football. No, just by myself, actually. Oh, that's sad. Yeah. But pretty excellent little optimized weekend for your boy, like I said.

Leg journey continues. Wow. Did something happen to the shacket? Because you're not wearing it today. Shacket week is officially over. I washed it, and it's on standby. Look, too much of a good thing can be a detriment. So I'm putting it on the sideline for now.

You're going to see it very soon. Don't worry. I know you miss it. It's coming back. I really don't. No, you do. No, it's okay. You're wearing normal colors today.

You fucking want one, dude. You want one. God. Just admit it's dope. You've changed. Now you're obsessed with shackets and legs. I'm a big shacket leg guy. I'm like, cool, dude.

Dude, don't be sad it's over. Be happy that it happened. That's how it goes. That it shackened. Do you know what Filson calls their shackets? Be happy that it shackened. They don't call them shackets on Filson. They call them shirt jacks.

Shirt jacks? Yeah. They used to call Dave that when he was... Used to... What did you do this weekend, Dave? No, that's what Micah did before he threw the shirt to a – Oh, come on. Oh, don't say that. When he lived in a pool house.

I don't know. Oh, dude. Micah was peak bachelor at that point. The old shirt jack. Yep. I don't know how I can top what Dylan just brought, but. You can't. Played golf with you Friday.

Oh, did you? Me, you, Micah, and Brad. Good to see him again. Got out there with Lions. Really tore it up. Had some fun moments. Heard Micah yell, pa-pa-pa-pa-par. Pussy.

That's his thing. Yeah. Yeah, he had way too many pars, and he was just doing it constantly. Micah hasn't played golf in however long. I was shocked that he's actually hitting the ball pretty well. Yeah, I don't know how that happened. Has he been, like, taking lessons behind our back through quarantine? Does he still have that nasty slice?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's got one shot in the back. There's certain holes that have that nasty slice? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's got one shot in the back. There's certain holes that he just knows he can't even play. I think it's number four. It's like a hard dog leg. No, number five, like hard dog leg left. He just doesn't have the shot.

No. And the move is trying to put it over the trees into the fairway. And, like, there's just no way he could put it. He would have to go around the other fairway around the trees and hope that the ball just keeps continuing. Has he considered fixing the slice? Oh, yeah. That's an impossible shot for him.

Mm-hmm. He literally walked up and said, yeah, this isn't good for me. I love how bad his slice is. But the first tee shot is right up his alley. Oh, yeah. At Lions. Yeah.

It was pretty tough conditions. Pretty windy. Yeah. Shockingly windy. And the wind was changing. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't really do much after that.

We did drink some big boy beers. We had a couple big boy beers, which was great. Forgot that's on there. Blues Traveler? Drinking beer. Yeah, Blues Traveler. And then you had a tortilla, a sausage tortilla. A wrap, a Texas wrap.

A Texas glizzy? Yeah. This is two Fridays in a row that I've enjoyed sausage wrap. Official meal of Lubbock, Texas. Love sausage wraps. There was a point in my life where I thought that they were the dumbest things on earth, and now I realize that it's just a really cheap way to get some sustenance while you're on the golf course. It's a grab-and-go snack.

$3. It's tasty enough. That's all it is. Yeah. You're not going to write home about it. You slammed it, too. But it gets the job done. You absolutely slammed that thing.

I don't let—if I buy food at the turn, I don't let that food last until after my first shot. I need to finish it before I tee off on 10. Some of the guys that were just like hanging out, hitting golf balls, and watching us tee off are like, wow, that dude just dilloned that thing. No one said that. And we're like, what? They're like, oh, it's a figure speech. A lot of people say it.

I don't know what it meant, like who they're referring to. I wasn't there, but I'm pretty sure that did not happen. Randy got to hang out with his barb friday night it was fun shouts to barb i thought she i thought she disappeared into the unknown in the upside down no that's that's from stranger things yeah it's a character on a tv show you dumbass dude she was viral all those losers that wanted barb back for what what did she offer to that show barb stunk like at no point did I care if Barb was back. Is it crazy now

that the dude with the great hair that kind of looks like Barrett, now he's just doing Taco Bell ads? I'm fine with that. They're good ads. I'll give it to him. Get the bag while you can.

He got paid. He's on a few other ads too. Like, he's getting the deals. But I haven't seen him, I don't think I've seen him in literally anything else. It's COVID, tough times. Yeah.

Oh, if so, dude, Taco Bell offers me a commercial. I'm doing that commercial a hundred times out of a hundred. seen him in literally anything else it's covid tough times yeah oh if so dude taco bell offers me a commercial i'm doing that commercial a hundred times out of a hundred yeah under the conditions that they bring back the maxi melt saturday i just watched uh watch the big games wow very. Yeah. Sunday did the same thing. Went to hit golf balls yesterday. Range where I, the place I went wasn't in great shape.

Just hitting off sand. That's ideal. And I was like, dude, all right, this is just, it'll help me hit off bad lies. Like this will, this will help my game

in the long run. And then it was just demoralizing. I was like, okay, I shouldn't even be here. I just, I should have driven like further to to Bastrop for a better range.

Why don't you just go to the Swing Academy? I don't know. You could have. I got too many boxes in there with all the baby stuff. Oh, yeah. We've got a surplus of boxes. I need to have a big box breakdown week. Did you try to put on your register anything?

Can you just put a couple dozen Chrome Softs on there and just hope that people don't realize oh no but if you want to send me some chrome softs hit me up just put the word baby on it hey by the way what's the street that runs by lions if you're on i think exposition there's a triple track chrome soft that says washed on the side it's like pressed up against the curb that I didn't feel like climbing the fence to go get. It's out there if somebody wants to go get it. If someone goes and finds that ball, they can be on circling back for 10 minutes. Someone's already got it. Probably.

If you have that ball, you get 10 minutes on this show. But I'll know it's my ball because there want it because it'll have the... There's a marking on it. So no funny stuff. I used to live a block from that course, by the way. It's a good area. It is, yeah. A block.

I'm about to... I just signed my lease. I'm about to live a block from that place. I was closer. Cool. No big deal. Were you on the water?

I was closer. dude what'd you do this weekend will well as you guys know i i went out and swung some sticks with the boys uh i did i did go crazy i went to matt's el rancho for for an early dinner on friday night yeah your boy did go tacos al carbón. I ate more at Matt's El Rancho than I've ever eaten in my entire life. Go off, sis. I know, I know. Also had two margaritas. Bad boy shit.

Bad boy shit. Saturday, I had a big bag of nothing. Didn't do anything. And then Sunday, yeah, as I just said, we signed a new lease on a new place and had to go over there and measure a bunch of stuff yesterday, try to figure out what needs to go where,

did all that really fun stuff that you want to do on a Sunday. Yeah, it's really great. And so I had just all the anxiety of all the stuff I get to buy just to furnish this one place. Should be fun. Where's the Peli going to go? Not sure yet. Not sure yet. There's the Peli going to go? Not sure yet. Not sure yet.

There's two rooms that it could possibly go in. I'm not sure. I'm worried about it. I might just put it on the porch and just act like I'm outside the entire time. I feel like people do that. Not a bad call. Yeah, hard to say. Yeah, not a bad call in January.

Dude, shut up. Sorry. God. What'd I do. Dude, shut up. Sorry. What did I do? I don't know. Sorry. Jeez. I'm just really stressed about where I'm putting this damn Peloton. I think you're going to be fine.

You'll find a spot. Where do I put the Peloton? Is there ever a chance that the Peloton rolls off the little blocks and just starts riding? That'd be sweet. Can that happen? Maybe it's not going to happen. Why can't I power not gonna happen why can't i power my apartment with my peloton well if if andrew yang gets elected mayor of new york city

you might be able to like if i had a if i had a tesla could i feasibly put my peloton in my garage next to my tesla and then charge that thing up with my peloton yo we put a peloton in your tesla oh yeah man we heard you like fitness so we put a pelloton in your Tesla. Oh! Yeah, man, we heard you like fitness, so we put a Peloton. Instead of a steering wheel, you have a Peloton. Wow, this is really inconvenient. It's pedal-powered. So I have to pedal all the way to the grocery store?

I like how he just tanked the value of every car that he pimped out. He tanked it by putting a fish tank in it. Yeah. You said your favorite food's hibachi. We put a hibachi grill in the back seat. Thanks, Exhibit. I'm never going to use this stuff. Your boy said you're a snake,

so we put a reptile tank in your ride. That's all I got. Oh, man. As much as we talk about that show, we should probably do a rewatch. Did I tell you, did I tell you what I saw the other day when I was driving down Mopac? Just cruising Mopac, just trying to get somewhere. And all of a sudden, all of a sudden, whatever it is, all of a sudden, people that care about

that are fucking dorks. Yeah. All of a sudden, the Wienermobile just drove next to me. No shit. Oscar Mayer? Yeah. It had been a while since I'd, the Wienermobile just drove next to me. No shit. Oscar Mayer? Yeah. It had been a while since I'd seen the Wienermobile. I'd only seen it once before in a museum in Detroit.

And just driving next to it, I didn't take a selfie with it. Who was driving it? Stop, David. Stop, dude. I couldn't tell. Okay. Was he wearing a jacket? Probably not.

He had a real... The only thing I could see is that he had a really mediocre beard and he just looked old. Dylan was just standing in the middle of the road with his mouth open. Mm-hmm. I was running after it. The guy's honking like,

get out of the way. You're like, keep driving. That's so stupid. What was the photo? The Vietnam photo in front of the tank? Tiananmen Square. Yeah, Tiananmen Square photo in front of the tank. That's just photo in front of the tank tiananmen square yeah tiananmen square photo in front of the tank that's just dylan in front of the wienermobile it was actually a very influential moment in history but well so was the time that you got run over by the

wienermobile oh boy oh and that's all i did not not nothing crazy can we finally talk about what I want to talk about? Yeah. Is it sea shanty time? It's sea shanty time. Like I said before, sometimes we get done recording for the week and then something pops. And this is one of those things that had this happened Wednesday morning, then we would have been so early on it that people would have been confused. It would have been too early.

Wednesday morning, then we would have been so early on it that people would have been confused. It would have been too early. Luckily for us, this popped late Wednesday, I think early Thursday, and we have the luxury of being late on it as we always are. But it's Sea Shanty Twitter. Yeah, I just saw this. Sturgill's going to release an entire album of Sea Shanties. Dude, that's sick. That's sick.

So this guy named Nathan Evans, he was the beginning of all of it. He's a 26-year-old postman from air dry North Lancashire. I don't know where the hell that is. He's become a phenomenon online thanks to the driving rhythmic acapella music known as sea shanty songs. The sea shanty genre has unexpectedly broken into the mainstream, having become something of a global online obsession in recent weeks, mostly driven by the duet feature on the video-sharing social media app TikTok. Yet another reason we should be on TikTok.

I guess Will kind of is. If there's ever a reason that I might join TikTok, I think C. Shani TikTok might be it. I don't know what kind of life this has, like if it's going to be another week, or if it's going to be like Old Town Road, for example. That was around for like five months. That hit number one in the United States. It went platinum.

Like multiple times. He went platty. I don't know how it happened, but I somehow missed all the sea shanty stuff. I'm still trying to, I'm learning on the fly right now. It literally makes no sense how you missed all of this. It was all my feed was the entire weekend. In the story that you linked in here, I'm watching the original right now with no sound, but I'm trying to catch up.

Well, the video that really made it pop was the four dudes singing that was definitely just a photo that was taken, and then somebody animated these guys to be singing and swaying next to each other. Very weird. But that's the one that I think really took off. I saw someone screen recorded a Snapchat from two dudes. You guys may have seen it. There are two black dudes singing it.

And that's where I thought it started. And I've watched that one about 65 times i've watched the one that you just referred to uh probably a similar number and it didn't it took me about 10 times through to realize that they were animated or cgi and because i was like dude how are these guys so still like no one's even tapping their foot i thought it was part of the i thought it was part of the bit that they were standing so still. That makes sense. That one's creepy, man. It creeps me out.

If you don't know what we're talking about, this video was posted to our Twitter this morning. Please go check it out. Please. I actually didn't realize this, but my buddy and I used to sing something that would be considered to be in the sea shanty genre. Why is it called sea shanty? Shanty as I know it is like a little structure. What's a sea shanty? I don't know.

I think it's just the genre. Shanty is another word for song. I don't know if that's it. I guess I could look this up. Yeah, I'm looking it up right now. Okay, I'm glad my question... A song... It's a song with alternating solo and chorus of a kind originally sung by sailors

while performing physical labor together. I love that. I love it. The boys are just singing. It is quite catchy. I get it. I do get it. Is this an original song by this Nathan Evans fellow?

Or is it? It's not? Mm-mm. Okay. I believe the Wellerman song. Ah, the Wellerman. Soon may the Wellerman come. Ah, yes.

Wellerman. I can't do it, actually, man. I tried so hard, I just can't fucking do it. Dude, between, like, sugar, tea, rum, we might have to rebrand Wilmont's to Wellerman's. I was remixing it with coffee, tea, and rum over the weekend. If you weren't remixing this weekend, then what were you even doing? Man.

I want to be a sea shanty. I want to be a part of the sea shanty subculture. Do a TikTok, you dumbass. We need to bring back whaling. I feel like all I need is like a chunky sweater. Chunky sweater, a beard, a little... What's the hat? A little beanie.

But one of the... Like an impressive looking beanie. Not like a Filson beanie or something. Like a Carhartt beanie. No, dude. Carhartt beanie is a play. Yeah, you're right. But we got to whale.

These are down-home guys, man. I hope this paves the way for the Hartford Whalers to come back. They won't. Fuck. You don't know how to whale, dude. Some of the best colors in hockey history. 100%. Some of the best jerseys overall in sporting history.

Yeah. I think there should be a rule in the NHL that they can't move Canadian teams. We need to preserve the Canadian teams, even though they don't win Stanley Cups. We need to preserve the Canadian teams, even though they don't win Stanley Cups. We need to preserve them as much as we can. I'm just saying. Thanks to the Whalers for giving us Brandon Shanahan, though. Yeah.

Well, you know they've got their own division right now. Just the Canadian division? So if you're horny for, yeah. Oh, is that just to limit their travel? Yeah. I like that. So if you're horny for Canada, this is a big time for you. I'm horny for Canada.

Which I think I am. Dylan's not horny for Canada. I'm horny for Canada. Are you? I've got love for Canada, man. I don't think you're that horny for Canada. Dude, Cole Campbell lives up there. What are you talking about?

It's true. You see he made it onto what? XL Magazine's Instagram feed or something like that? He started getting hella followers

but then I think they deleted the video so his followers account stopped. I hate to see that. Yeah. Will, can I hit you

with a truth bomb? Mm-hmm. You know the Whalers were Hartford, Connecticut, oh i'm an idiot did you know that for a long time i thought they were hartford canada i'm an idiot just because they put off canada vibes because like whaling i don't know why that just screams canada it's a good thing you save that because we would have gotten roasted oh well someone's gonna not wait the two minutes oh yeah and then like it's gonna be pretty funny you can do a follow-up tweet that says, I kept listening. I see y'all fixed it.

Why did I always think that? I just didn't even think about that kind of stuff. Mandela effect, totally. We've got to get some gear. Their logo is sick. Hartford Whalers. Why did I think that? I don't know, but I guarantee you are not the only person.

Shouts to the entire studio, except for Brett, who's sitting outside probably just shaking his head. No one even thought about correcting. Usually Randy has a look in his eye like, no, you're wrong there. Good logo, the colors, eh. Take it or leave it. Shut up. Okay, cool, man. Shut up.

Take it or leave it. I still stand by what I said. No Canadian team should ever be moved out of the NHL. No, I agree with that. That point still stands. Man, I feel stupid. That's okay. Yeah. No, I agree with that. That point still stands. Man, I feel stupid. That's okay. Hey, I will say this.

I will say this. You want to go back and delete it? At no point have I claimed to be a geography guy. But you're a hockey guy, so... I'm not, though. I'm not.

Do you know how many non-soccer events I watched this weekend on television? Zero? I watched one quarter of the KC game. Why just one?

You had a tweet saying that you were like cracked a beer or ready to watch the game. I did. As far as you made it? He's just doing tweets, man. No, I did.

God dang it. He's just doing content. I did. I cranked an... Whoa. Good for you. I cracked an Anchor Steam. Dude, Anchor Steam's good, man.

I know. I cracked one and I watched some of the game and then once i finished it i was like well i'm tired of this game turn it off out of san francisco anchor brewery they call it the san francisco treat they do yeah a lot of people don't know very interesting yeah so at the end of the day shout out to all of our canadian backers out there in hartford we wish you guys still had a hockey team i don't really care We wish you guys still had a hockey team.

I don't really care. Connecticut's very close to Canada. Connecticut? It's at least five hours. I don't know if that's true or not. Yeah, I don't know. By helicopter. The Northeast United States.

It's very confusing up there with Rhode Island. There's just a lot going on, very congested. I don't know what the hell, what to make of it. It's just... No, it's really far from Canada. Five hours? What's weird is that in my head, I knew that it was the United States, but they just put out such Canada vibes. They do put off Canada vibes.

Like, Americans don't wail. These guys are the wailers. You think of like Nova Scotia when you think of wailing. Yeah. I believe the Wellerman song originated in New Zealand. What is whaling? We'll start there. Oh, you act like you didn't do that in college.

We don't fat shame here, David. What are you talking about? Whales. I thought every summer you went up to Connecticut and you did some whaling. What is whaling? Just whaling on the guitar. It's the practice or industry of hunting and killing whales for their oil, meat, or whale bone. We don't do that.

No one's eaten whale. Choke out a whale. Who eats whale? Like Elon Musk and shit. But really, who eats whale? Tom Wamsgams? Probably indigenous cultures. It's a lot of meat.

Yeah, that's the point. A blue whale could feed a whole town, a whole city. Do you think by now if the whalers still existed they'd have to change their name do you think PETA would have piled on there actually yeah

I do look I'm against whaling but I understand it has to be done it sounds like you are for whaling honestly you know I believe that there's some

people who need to whale. Whale! I've never heard of anybody eating whale. I'm a little confused. Have you? Yeah. Really? You never, like, that's, yeah.

Whaling, there's an entire thing. No, I'm talking like eating whale. Have you ever eaten whale or known anyone who has no but like if you're like a tribe in alaska or something like in the last 100 200 years or you know they whale they use they they use the they use the whale carcass for a lot of things bob marley was super into it i've always said if you're gonna if you're gonna hunt an animal you better be eating it so okay circle of life I'm a big circle of life, guys.

I'm trying to tell you. Whale meat or blubber is consumed in Norway, Japan, some Caribbean nations, Russia, Canada, and the state of Alaska. Japan. Either for substance,

cultural, or commercial reasons. Okay. They're beautiful animals. I'm not against eating whale. I would try it. You gotta think beluga's the

cutest of the whales right you ever had beluga caviar no but in Casino Royale he orders it from room service

he orders champagne and beluga caviar do you know the first drink he orders in that movie something I used to drink a lot um oscar mule what I used to drink a lot. Oscar Mule. What?

We used to drink this all the time. Mount Gay soda. Oh, yeah. He orders one in the hotel. It's so random. He ordered it and it stuck out to me because I learned about Mount Gay from you, I believe, on this podcast. Yeah, it's weird. Get some Mount Gay soda.

They're good. Huh. Huh Huh Okay It's really It's still weird to me That Bob Marley's entire band Would just kill whales In their spare time

True Makes no sense You wouldn't think about that But They kind of Flew under the radar I want to see a blue whale In

Like in the wild Be tight That's a big animal dog You ever read Moby Dick? No It's too long. Is it long? I don't even know. It is, right? You didn't read Moby Dick? Uh-uh. I'm just trying to think of a Moby joke that also involves a dick joke, but I can't really think of one.

Didn't he date Natalie Portman? Yeah, he got real creepy on her. No, he claimed he did. He fake dated her? Yeah, he claimed he creepy on her. No, he like claimed he dated her. He fake dated her? Yeah, he like claimed he did and then she – in his biography, which I don't know. Who's – how many copies of Moby's biography do you think sold? Like 10? I'm going to say 150,000. No.

Less than that. It takes like – I think I read something recently that said like it takes like 10,000 sales in the first week to get on the bestseller list of New York Times. So if that's the case, then I think Moby would have been swimming in it. There are more Fatboy Slim fans than Moby fans, I'll say it. And you can count me as one of those. How long until the Eve Six account weighs in on Moby versus Fatboy Slim? Legitimately cannot wait. Can we talk about Escobar's cocaine hippos?

Okay. Yeah. Apparently, Pablo Escobar had fucking cocaine hippos. Yeah. And by cocaine hippos, hippos that he purchased with cocaine money. Right. The hippos themselves are not actually, they don't do the cocaine. Sadly, no.

They're just, they were brought to the marshlands of Columbia by Pablo. How much coke would it take to get a hippo, like, you know, really chatty at the bar? Going? Like, comes back from the bathroom and just, like, got, like, a story to tell. I don't know. In the next 38 minutes. I don't know. I think last week we proved we don't really know much about, like, cocaine and, like,

the sizing. Similar. Like, you'd have to have a really good dealer if you were a hippo. It's an expensive habit to have. They're very large animals. When Pablo Escobar was killed in 1993, authorities took control of his 7,000 acre estate, including a personal zoo. While most of the animals found homes at zoos elsewhere,

four of the hippos escaped. Fuck yeah. And I guess they just started reproducing. They just started having sex. You know, another instance of Hollywood, like, with their weird casting,

like, to cast Matt Damon in that, like, the zoo movie, like cast Matt Damon in that, like the zoo movie. Like, Matt Damon's not Colombian. David. Did you see how the hippos escaped? They're all coked out? They had a poster on their wall in the little sanctuary, and they just would chip away at it.

Just like one day at a time when they got back from the yard? Yeah, yeah. And eventually they had to go through this big sewage thing. They're like two tons. They're very large creatures. With no real predators, there are anywhere between 80 and 100 descendants of Escobar's former pets terrorizing the country's lakes and rivers.

Are they really terrorizing it? Scientists have projected that the hippo population could surge to 1,500 by 2024. Way to go, Pablo. Terrorizing lakes and rivers? Well, you know what? They should have just... If you're going to condemn Pablo Escobar, I think there are other things besides terrorizing lakes and rivers. Narco-terrorism.

That video of the hippo that pops up on my TL once every couple years of it just swimming, like, following that boat in the river or whatever, that is the most intense video ever. They kill a lot of humans. Yeah, that's a bad animal, dude. They can move in the water, Dave. I didn't know that until I watched that video.

Did you hear what they're charging him with? Because of all the fucking hippos now? Posthumously? A hippo violation. What are you doing? Are you doing hippo jokes? Dude, that's slap. Yeah. Did you see how they're going to maybe try to get them back

and get them into captivity, the ones that have escaped? Looks like they're going to bring in a guy and hippomatize them. The real answer is I think they're going to try and kill these fellas. Yeah, ecologist Natalie Castelblanco Martinez said, nobody likes the idea of shooting a hippo,

but we have to accept that no other strategy is going to work. Find a way. You know it's bad when the ecologists are like, no, we're shooting these fuckers. Figure it out. She said relocation might have been possible 30 years ago

when there were only four hippos. Castration could also have been effective if officials had provided sufficient sources for the program. Who wants to do that? I feel like castrating a hippo

is like tough. Yeah, it's not good. You got to trank it first. Castration, no breeding. Cast, it's not good. You gotta trank it first. Castration, no breeding. Castration. There you go. You don't even know it. No breeding.

Are they playing the inauguration? They might be. If Papa Roach plays the inauguration. I'm sorry. They did. They covered Smooth Criminal, right? Was that Papa Roach?

No. That's Alien Ant Farm. Completely different band. Are you sure? Yeah. I'm 100% sure. Don't, don't test Dave,

don't test Dave on shitty mod rock bands from the early 2000s, late 90s. Papa Roach did not cover the Michael Jackson hit Smooth Criminal.

Dave does know really shitty music really well. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I like about Dave. Jesus.

Smooth Criminal goes, though. Like, the original. Did you even know that Michael Jackson did it? I'm pretty sure I just said so. You were the dude who heard Alien Ant Farm's version

and you're like, dude, this is a good song. People are like, some music hipster like me was like, dude, you know it's an MJ song. The Papa Roach version is really good, too.

Shut the fuck up, dude. Anyway, these hippos, man. It's a prob. Big time. I don't like the idea of killing the hippos, but I understand it. We have to kill pigs here. They have to kill hippos there. Man, I... Would you rather have a feral hog problem or a hippo problem? Why are hippos there Man I Would you rather have a

Feral hog problem Or a hippo problem Why are hippos always trying to kill Like people and shit Like what's their problem They just gotta eat I don't think that they try I think they're just better at it

Because we got our nicest people Ecologists Out here trying to Spray the block on them You don't think they're gonna Come back at us I think they're just better This is warfare Dylan

Are they gonna use Mac 10s to kill these things I don't know No they're not gonna use Mac 10s With the extendo clip just better at it. This is warfare, Dylan. Are they going to use Mac-10s to kill these things? I don't know. No, they're not going to use Mac-10s. With the extendo clip? They nerfed it. Did you not know that they nerfed it?

Oh, like... Dude... Okay. What, Will? Say it. I have a show suggestion for you guys. Narcos.

I think KJ actually has already watched it because he made a joke about it on Too Much Dip that went over everyone's head except for kind of mine. Like, I only understood it because I'd seen it on Netflixflix i'll be honest kj makes a lot of jokes that go over my head he's smarter than you no he knows a lot more than me i'm like oh i don't know what

he's talking about yeah he's really smart i'm just gonna nervously laugh and hopefully he's not gonna notice a little show on netflix called top boy they used to call dylan that back in the day i'll get that out of the way right now. Called Top Boy. I wish. It's what I'd imagine to be a British wire. Oh, yeah. Okay. I remember him talking about this. It's fucking dope. I'm in. I started watching it last week,

and I've been very much enjoying it. The accents are so thick that you do sometimes have to toss on closed captions, even though they're speaking English. That's Peaky Blinders. I'm fine with that. Highly recommend. I'll check that out. It's very fun.

A little dark. Comparing the feral hog to the feral hippo problem, I feel like it would be, okay, while deadlier, it would be easier to contain the hippos. Because they're larger, easier to get to. Although the water thing changes it. Because, you know, hogs, they reproduce like four times a year. They have like four litters. Are hippos the ones that propel in water like we just talked about? Oh, yeah.

So, actually, I may withdraw that statement. They're fat as fuck. How do they move through the water like that? They propel themselves. It's a thick boy. Using what? Their legs. Is this where you say you could outrun or outmaneuver a hippo no no no i just it's just crazy to me that a fat a fat

ass animal like that can move through water who wins hippo or lava in a race what do you mean just in whatever fight like what do you mean yeah An election? It could be anything. Sure. Popularity contest. A hippo. I told you, lava does not frighten me. Do you know how fast hippos can run? I'm going to guess that they can run 19 miles an hour. Dave? I'm going to say 24 miles an hour.

Dave wins. 30 miles per hour. Oh, that's moving. That's faster than Tyreek Hill. Do you know how fast white rhinoceros? How fast they can go. Those are the super rare ones, aren't they? I don't know.

Did you say a white rhino? There are like two left. Yeah. Guess how fast they can go. Or maybe it's a black one. I'm going to say like 12. I'm going to go 19 again. 31 miles per hour.

What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. A rhino? How the hell? I have no idea a rhino can chomp. How fast does a hippo swim? Okay. Boy, that's a good question. They move, Dave.

You didn't want to talk about that. They can propel themselves. Yeah, that's how swimming works. Dumbass. What? Hippos can move underwater at a speed of 15 miles per hour. That's fast in the water, man. How fast?

So if you run like a 5 second 40, how fast are you running? Like 17 miles an hour or something. Okay. I don't know if that math checks out. They like clock these NFL guys and like the fastest guys run, they peak at like 22 miles an hour. In pads or without pads? In pads, like on the field.

That's like their top speed is around. How bad did Chad Henney run yesterday? I still can't believe they called that play on Fort Dow. Yeah, neither can Tony. He's still cleaning up from the mess. The fastest sharks of Mako. What's his deal? A lot of people don't know that.

Dave didn't know that. You ever eaten Mako? I can't say that I've eaten shark, period. Is that why you always go to Mako for dates? Because you always said there's blood in the water and you're a shark? Jeez. They're fast, dog. That is what you shark. Jeez. They're fast, dog. That is what you meant by that.

They can move, dog. God. Cheapest sushi in town. You'll love to see it. The place is great, man. The price to fun ratio is off the chart. You can't beat it. The second we're all vaccinated, I know this is setting the bar very low for when we're all vaccinated.

I would love a sloppy dinner at Mako. Oh, yeah. He's doing sake sets. Brett told us like two years ago that they had sold the building and it was going to be something else. And they're still somehow operating. Yeah, I feel like that's like on Brett's breaking news every like eight months. I love how the guy who moved here from New York like a year ago is our source on like local restaurants shutting down. And he was so wrong.

I thought he was proven right. No. They're thriving, I think. Interesting. Nature's healing. Yeah. Have you eaten shark before? Yeah, I have.

Have you had rattlesnake before? I have. Me too. I'm trying to catch you on something that I have that you haven't. Keep naming foods. Rocky Mountain oysters? Oh, yeah. Really?

Cat fry, baby. I believe I tried one before a long time ago. That's delicacy in Lubbock. Dude, just move back to Lubbock already. They make their pledges. Fry the balls. Mm-hmm. Pat Green plays the songs he's heard 10,000 times. It's a true story.

It's what they do. It's fun. I don't know if they're doing it anymore. I want the hippos to thrive, but I get it. Back to that. I can't get past it. From your childhood, from an early age, you got hungry, hungry hippos. So you think that hippos are cute and fun.

Obviously, they would murder you. Yeah, part of me is like, let's let nature run its course, you know. And the other part of me is like, well, he brought these things to a place that they weren't indigenous and they're just like running amok. So it's like it's not really nature. You know what they should do? They should fine him significantly. I don't think he's going to have—he's not going to pay it. They should make him apologize.

Hey, you need to do, like, a PSA, like a public service announcement, like about hippos and the dangers of bringing them into the country. Like, he should have to do one of those. They should just have, like—you know how Kanye did, like, the hologram of Kim's dad for her birthday before they got divorced? Did we talk about that? Like they should just do one of Pablo Escobar apologizing to the environment. What an interesting gift.

He has to apologize to all the animals that have been like just completely ravaged by these hippos. I don't know what's wrong with me, but when I first read Escobar's cocaine hippos in a headline, I assumed that he was smuggling cocaine through hippos. Escobar's cocaine hippos in a headline, I assume that he was smuggling cocaine through hippos. But looking back on my thought process there, that would be one of the more inconvenient ways to traffic drugs.

I would just put it under my toupee. Really? That's a throwback. To what? If you're like an alligator in Colombia, or a caiman, Dylan, and all of a sudden you see a hippo. You're like, what the fuck is that?

I thought I was apex around this bitch. You're like, who? Guess not. We're finding a new river. Okay. The people that should be apologizing here should be the zoo that let these things escape. It's a personal zoo. He just had a pen that he kept these things in.

It's not like a zoo zoo. It was at his house. They haven't made Isuzu's in forever. Did they start making Isuzu? They probably make motorcycles. Okay. What was the little Isuzu?

This is a classic derail moment. It was like a Jeep and it looked like it would roll real easy. Trooper, the Trooper. Apparently they still make – oh, no, that's an 02. He used to push a Trooper, didn't he? Koopa Troopa.

Jeep Cherokee. Dylan, we got something big on the horizon right now. Is this a – Do you have your vocal cords ready? Excuse me. New sponsor. New sponsor alert. We have a new sponsor.

Okay, you can go. This is a fun one. Yeah. Something I know about Dylan is that Dylan enjoys himself a good cigar. Burn it, not concern it. Especially on the golf course. I was going to say, you're a big golf course cigar guy.

I maintain that that is the primo time to burn a cigar is on the course. It's perfect. You set it down between shots. You pick it up. You start tugging on it again. Love it. Cigars, for me, are just so celebratory feeling. Same.

Like it just, when a cigar gets busted out, I'm like, oh, we're having fun tonight. Like when Dylan hits a fairway. Yeah. Exactly. It's time to break it out. But like when you're at like a wedding and you bust out some cigars for the boys, people are psyched. The cigar roller at a wedding is always a key move. Yeah, but not everyone just has cigar rollers at their disposal, David. I know, calm down, David.

I'm sorry. I'm just saying that there's nothing better than kind of hanging out on the back patio smoking cigars in a tux or something. Oh, yeah, baby.

If your tux doesn't smell like cigars after a black tie wedding, you might as well have not even gone to the wedding. Did they even get married? Yeah. Let's see the marriage certificate.

How about this? Maybe after your child's born. There you go. I know maybe some hospitals frown on you doing it inside of the hospital. Yeah, maybe don't do it in the hospital. But, you know, after the fact, you go out on the porch, you get the gram off. You just have a nice celebratory cigar. Yeah.

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It's time to get in. This might get me back out on the course. Oh, really? Just an excuse to burn. Cigars with the boys? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if I'm going to get through a round of 98 and, you know, nine lost balls, but at least I have a cigar.

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To take advantage of these incredible savings, simply go to ThompsonCigar.com and use promo code CIRCLING when you're ready to check out. That website, again, is T-H-O-M-P-S-O-N-CIGAR.COM. Use promo code CIRCLING. Dang. So, Dave, one of your favorite bands is playing at the inauguration. Is that what I read earlier? Limp Bizkit? Who's playing the Anog?

Dude, you were the one that was so excited about it. Papa Roach is doing Smooth Criminal. Really? Yeah. That's interesting. It's a cover of a cover. Right. Double cover. Yeah, it's weird. Oh, dude, no, it's the... I think he's talking about the New Radicals. Dylan, you definitely are familiar with them. By the way...

No, Gaga's doing the National Anthem, right? Correct. Dylan, you definitely are familiar with them. By the way. No, Gaga's doing the national anthem, right? Correct. Oh, she is? The Little Monsters is going to be a day for the Little Monsters. I can't wait. That rain song that she does. The 20th, right? Two days?

Wednesday? I don't know. That rain song she does. Rain song? Rain on me. Is it new? I think it's new okay it's been on a lot of peloton uh classes that i've been doing lately and it absolutely slaps i have not heard this she's she's just a just a real treat just a treat we got gaga we got jennifer lopez jello jello jenny from the block we've got uh, did you know who's going to be there?

You know the Vanderbilt kicker? Is it Vanderbilt? What about the rocks that she got? The young lady who scored a point in the Power 5 game, the kicker, the female kicker. She's going to be there. She's not singing, to my knowledge. Maybe they're just going to have her out and just kick.

Maybe punt some donut holes at the inauguration. I'm so down for that. They should get that punter from the Tech game. some donut holes at the inauguration. I'm so down for that. They should get that punter from the tech game. It's going to land at the inauguration. Dude, it still has not landed.

Yeah. All the way to D.C. Oh, shit. They got some good people coming here. Demi Lovato, Justin Timberlake, Bon Jovi. Oh, God. Bon Jovi stinks. Bon Jovi extra stinks.

That guy stinks. What's his deal? Just be better. Bon Jovi? Oh, God. Bon Jovi stinks. Bon Jovi extra stinks. That guy stinks. What's his deal? Just be better. Bon Jovi? Yeah. He owns an indoor football team, dog. That doesn't mean he's not shitty at music. Why is he so... All right.

What? Danny Lovato, great voice. Fantastic. Okay, so there are a lot of really good people here. How the hell... The new radicals. Did the new radicals get included in this? Who are the new radicals?

Give me one of their songs. They're pretty radical. They're also really new. They have one song. What is it? But people really like it. It's called You Get What You Give. You might know it because of the ending

and because the lead singer wears a bucket hat. Give me a bar. Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson. Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson. You're all fake. Come Around Will Kick Your Ass In. People like that song? Kick Your Ass In.

No, that song's objectively good. No, that song stinks. Yeah, no, it's objectively good. Why did Hanson have to catch a stray? They were like 12 years old at the time. Yeah. Like, why lump them in with Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson? It was kind of sick.

I remember back in the day it was kind of sick shitting on Hanson. What's wrong with Beck? Beck's kind of a wimp. If you get in a bar fight and Beck is like the only guy to your side,

like, you're kind of feeling bad about the bar fight. You're losing the fight. Yeah. Mbop was a... Mbop. You know what I'm saying? Do you even know the song? Mbop. You know what I'm saying? Do you even know the song?

Mbop. Dude, you killed that. Video idea. You ready? Have you seen those videos on YouTube where, like, guys will listen to, or not just guys, people will listen to, often younger people, old songs, and they just listen to them? They're like, I don't know who this is.

And they, like, react, do live reaction to the song. It's that, but it's you, and it's songs that me and Will make you listen to that we used to listen to. Dude, there was one of those recently that posted. It was, I think, guys entering the NBA, like in the draft, and they were asking them about 90s musicians, and they had no idea who NSYNC was, and it blew my mind. We're talking about kids that are like 19.

Think about that. Isn't that weird? That's weird. I mean, how do you not know that Justin Timberlake's from NSYNC? A lot of them said, I know who this guy is and pointed to JT, but I don't know who the rest of these guys are or that this was a band. They didn't know Lance. What's the other one's name? Lance Bass. Is he NSYNC? Isn't there a JC Chazet? Mm-hmm. these guys out or that this was a band. They didn't know Lance.

What's the other one's name? Lance Bass. Is he insane? Isn't there a J.C. Chazet? Mm-hmm. And who's the big guy, Kevin? No, Kevin was from the Backstreet Boys. You're thinking of Joey Fatone. Yeah, Joey Fatone.

Joey. Joey. Joey Fatone definitely was on the brink of them just cutting him out at the last second before they got big. Yeah. You got to have that guy in case they get in a bar fight. There's always someone in one of the bands that you could tell shouldn't be in there if it wasn't for their vocals.

Who was it in Backstreet Boys? I feel like Backstreet Boys was... Nick Carter. Nick Carter was good. That's the only one I can think of. Kevin Federline. Not Kevin Federline. No, he was a dancer.

That was a different guy Didn't they used to call him Federline? I don't get it I don't understand He'd just invite girls up to his place And feed them What? Huh?

I don't even know lines Okay Jesus I didn't do coke dude Jeez You drink beers though? Okay Escobar I'm gonna call you little hippo Okay I didn't do coke, dude. Jeez. You drink beers, though? Okay, Escobar.

I'm going to call you Little Hippo. Little Hippo kind of hits. That's kind of a good name, man. How many beers do you think a hippo could drink? Dude, more than Wade Boggs. He's got those big-ass mouths, man. You know he drank 1,000 beers on a plane ride? That's a rumor, yeah.

Didn't pee once. Have you seen the Wade Boggs episode of It's Always Sunny? By far the funniest episode of that show, in my opinion. I thought you were going to say The Simpsons. It's incredible. They all try to beat his record on the plane. It's funny. To me, there's nothing worse than breaking the seal on a plane and then having to pee every 30 minutes if you're me. I just can't drink beer on a plane and then having to pee every like 30

minutes if you're me i just can't drink beer on a plane it's just a you problem a few years ago we decided to hit the ground running really really hard on the way to mexico with samley sally's family and so we just started hammering margaritas and then like the last half of the flight was really turbulent and so they wouldn't let you get out of your seat and so knowing that not only could we not pee on the plane but we had had to wait until getting through customs and everything to get to a bathroom. It was the most defeating feeling of all time. I thought I was going to piss my pants in Mexico.

Mexico. Mexico. I didn't pee my pants. I've almost peed my pants on a plane. I almost peed my pants on a bus going from canada to detroit before a red wings game on my 21st how far is that drive is it closer than connecticut it was kind of well connecticut is in canada people forget that um yeah it was not good not good seven hours and 38 minutes from hartford to canada

hop skipping a jump. Not that bad. Sheesh. I've already put out a tweet explaining what I've done. Oh, no. I had to get ahead of the story. You got out in front of it. What'd you do?

The Hartford thing. The really embarrassing moment. You know, I didn't want to bring it up and look like a know-it-all, but I knew we had to address it. It was a good save, Dave. No, it was a good save. You're going to soften the blood. I felt bad. I almost been like, hey, we got to delete that.

Oh, yeah. No. Ever since we started talking about pee, and I just suddenly have to pee really badly. Pee? Does that mean Dylan's checked out? No, I'm good. You're wearing joggers.

I have to pee pee. Those dry quick. I have to pee pee also. You guys are weird. We need to have one of those big Ozarkas in here just in case. A pee pee jog. Let's get Brett in here just in case. A pee-pee jug. Let's get Brett in here for Brett's Breaking News and then we can all go pee. Yo, Brett.

Hey, Brett. Hey. It's time for the Breaking News segment. You got to tell us what your favorite new Radicals song is. Brett, before we get into your Breaking News, I do have a quick question for you. Oh, almost shut the door. What were you doing? Were you paying attention when I said that Hartford

was in Canada? I'm seeing the tweets on the TL. People seem to think that I have something to do with it. We're trying to forget about it. How egregious was it?

I mean... Well, he thought Hartford was in Canada. It was really egregious. Like, you thought Hartford was not in Connecticut? Is that kind of what happened? Or you thought Connecticut

was in Canada? Like, when we were talking about the Hartford Whalers, my brain defaulted to them being a Canadian team for some reason. Which you have to admit, out of all the teams, they put out the most Canadian vibes of every American team. Whaling screams Canadian. I did hear Dylan didn't know what whaling was.

I almost think that's worse than... Well, his definition was different than what it actually is. Got it. I just didn't know people killed whales for sustenance. Yeah. And a bunch of other things. You had whale? Oil and stuff. No, I never had it. Bl killed whales for sustenance. Yeah. And like a bunch of other things. You had whale? Oil and stuff.

No, I never had it. Blubber. Blubber. Okay, I don't know anyone who's eaten it. I think they used like the oil to do candles and shit. Yeah. Lighting like lanterns. Yeah.

It was back in the day. People didn't have like trees. Is there whaling presently? Somebody's whaling. I think the Japanese are big into whaling. Like there's some kid right now at home like sick, and he's just whaling away on himself. Which whales do they get? He's not sick.

He just stayed home sick. Which whales get gotten when whaling? He's setting a PR today. Sperm whales. Sperm? Yeah, sperm whales. Yeah, a lot of sperm whales i had a buddy that told me he did that what he told me the first time he learned what uh masturbating was he

decided to stay home from school sick the next day and he said he did it literally all day just he was like i couldn't believe what i was diminishing returns yeah this is amazing and then if i oh gets to the point you you're just like, what am I doing? Yeah. I got to do something else with my time. Can't even play video games after that. Your hands are just devastated. And my body is void of all tea.

Not at this age, huh? Brett, what's your breaking news? I did a couple fun topics today, Will. Thanks for asking. Do you guys want to go? Texas alcohol consumption. Yep. Glizzies.

Or airports. Dylan, you tended to get the pitch, so you are the artist. We're not doing glizzies. We'll do alcohol consumption in Texas. Oh, you want to do beers? I think I know what this is about, and I can't wait. Beloved East Coast beer. Yingling.

Yingling. Let's go. Is officially headed to Texas. The cult favorite brew will hit the shelves in Texas in late 2021. Molson Coors brand? It is. That's why I'm including it. That's what I was saying.

Like, oh, God, yes. Fucking love Yingling. That's what I was saying, too. I was like, cool. Fuck yeah. It is my panic order whenever I'm in an East Coast location. It's so good. I love it.

I love it. I love it. It's the best cheap beer on the market. I will agree with you. Here's a true story about Yingling. When I attended the Masters not long ago. Sure, yeah. And we were there, and Natty Light sent us.

They paid for the trip they had a whole like thing set up there right but I was in a place that sold yingling and I was really excited about that so I went to the store and I got just a shitload of yingling and I was like put all over my story I was tweeting about it and someone was funny like you know this is like a Natty sponsored trip right like oh yes right I felt pretty bad about it. But you know, your boy got tons of yinglings off, David. How do you make that mistake?

I didn't even care at that point. That's what tanked the company. What are you going to do, send me home? Thanks. You're going to send me home? You got to get out of here, man. Have they never performed in Texas before? The yingling twins?

Can you spell yingling, Will? Can I put you on the spot? I can. There's a U in there randomly. I believe it's the second letter. Y-U-E-N-G-L-I-N-G. Ding ding. Yingling.

Actually, they do no noise when you get it right. Yeah, the ding is when you get it wrong. So did you ding him because he got it wrong? No, he's correct. I was going to ernt if he got it wrong. It's Youngling, right? Youngling? Youngling's my mixtape name.

I'm excited about this. This is tight. It's going to be a perfect panic order beer. I believe later this year it will hit the streets. That's the plan. What does it taste like? It's a lager. It's a lager, but it's, I don't know.

It's just very, very crisp to me. It's just a really good, crisp lager. Very good golf beer. Because it's not too light that you're just like, oh, this. A cigar. I thought you were going to come in with the Texas alcohol consumption and say that to-go cocktails are officially a go. That's also happening. Well, it's not officially happening yet.

I'm pretty sure it's happening. It's trending that it's going to happen, but it hasn't been made official that it's going to be a long-term thing which i i think i'm a big fan of if i can pick up to go from i still haven't done that oh i have i did it on a walk recently we were walking by a taco place and i was like should we just go grab like a styrofoam cup uh margarita because? Because to me, the fun part about enjoying a cocktail from a restaurant is enjoying it at the restaurant.

Yeah, but in these times, Dylan, some of these restaurants are getting a little reckless and you have to go home. But the discussion is about extending that beyond COVID times.

That's why I said that. Wilmont's has been doing to-go cocktails since we opened, so. No shit? Yeah, we don't actually have a liquor license so they can't actually

get us in trouble. As long as you roll up on a kayak, you're good. It's kind of on the customer at that point. You got to get to the glizzy news. Yeah, Dylan's champing

at the bit. Dylan, did you know that the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile that Will spotted earlier this podcast, it's hiring a team

to drive the Wienermobile across the U.S. Just have a podcast studio. Don't hit the DMV button, dude. Just have a podcast studio in it. According to CNN, which, you know, they said, frankly, Love it, love it, killed it. This could be somebody's dream job, Dylan. It's no one's dream job, I promise you.

They are looking to hire a team of hot doggers. What's a hot dogger? It's like a bootlegger. An ideal hot dogger is an outgoing, creative, friendly, exuberant college graduate. I'm like two of those things. Who has an appetite for adventure and is willing to see the country through the windshield of the Ostermeyer Wienermobile. They fucked that up. They should have made every one of those words start with H-O-T-D-O-G.

That would have been good. Hot, outgoing. The marketing brain on this guy. Yep. You know what? You know why you would be a good candidate? Because they could just park it right in your mouth. David.

Your little garage. I know. What's wrong with you? Do you think they'd be worried that he'd be eating it, though? No, he would. Do you get all the free hot dogs you can... Oh, yeah. The hot doggers will...

That sounds like a WWF tag team from, like, 1986. The hot doggers. Pledgemaster Dorn would be like, you guys are eating this entire Blizzy Mobile. You guys got to figure it out and eat this vehicle. You got a month to do it. Hey, man, I don't know what to tell you, man. I got class.

Figure it out. Do you start with the tires? Yes. Figure out the hard stuff later. I got class. Figure it out. Do you start with the tires? Yes. Figure out the hard stuff later. I've heard of a hazing technique where pledges have to eat an entire couch. I've heard the recliner. The recliner. Recliner, maybe.

That's what it was. It's a pretty good – Well, like a wash media could use this, Dylan. The hot dogs appear on local television and radio, do newspaper interviews, and create content for their Oscar Mayer social media. You honestly sound like you'd be pretty good at this. Yeah. Can I bring the homie? Probably.

How popular would the homie be if you pulled up with a Wienermobile? Yeah, can I park it at the crib for a couple days? Probably. Yeah, it's like cops. Each hot dogger gets his own nickname. This guy goes by Zach and Cheese, and he proposed to his girlfriend at Yellowstone National Park next to the hot dog bus.

Man, it's going to be a real shame when someone Photoshop's Dylan onto the Wienermobile, like at the end. I'm pretty sure that's already happened. Has it? I'm sure. I'd like to see it again. It would be too bad, too, if somebody Photoshopped Dylan standing in front of the Wienermobile.

His mouth open. Jaw unhinged like it's me at a meet-up eating a burger. You're making this so sexual, and I hate it. What? No, it's just you eating the hot dog. No, I mean, I get it, but I also get it, you know? You don't get what you eat. I don't even know what that means. God. You get it, dude.

I get it. I want to listen to Ants Marching so loud on the drive home. Hey, you guys want this Chicago airport news? Yeah. Randy is familiar with Chicago O'Hare Airport. I'm very familiar. It sucks dick. So is Aditya Singh, 36.

He lived there for three months. He went full Tom Hanks. In the Chicago airport. He was just arrested and charged with trespassing, a couple other charges. He paid $1,000 bail, and he's not allowed in the airport anymore. So we'll see where that goes. Three months in the airport. What's his story?

Why did he do that? He didn't want to fly because of COVID, so he spent his time in an airport. If I were him, I would have gone home. Yeah, don't i just leave did you hear how he got by uh no he got by he he took someone's identification badge and wore it all the time and no one actually looked at it so he just existed with this identification badge and i think because he didn't have any, he was just eating like food scraps from other people in the airport. Oh, so he wasn't eating $20 ham sandwiches and $12 bottles of water. Well, the Wienermobile was on display at the airport at one point, and he was going to

eat that for like an extended period of time. But the hot dog always comes back to that. Sorry, Dylan. Do you think he was waiting in line at Chick-fil-A and saw Beto O'Rourke behind him and didn't say anything? And Beto went over to Panera like a dude, just go home. After that flight, after our flight at that same Chick-fil-A back from California, I remember it was right before like COVID really, really hit. It was like two weeks. And there was a dude on the flight next to me wearing a mask.

And Sally and I were like, well, one, let's follow the dude with the mask. This guy seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders. But we're also like, dude, what a fucking dork wearing a mask on the plane. Wow. What did he sleep on? Shout out to that guy. It says he gained access to the security zone. He might have been posing as an airport person.

They might have a lounge or something. My guess. Did he just pick up a stray outfit that they had in the security lounge? He could have. He had the badge. They probably have a dope lostson Fountain back there. Just peek through it. Got some cool shit. Can I interject? I gotta pee so bad.

I just want to give a shout out to everybody out there. Enjoy your Martin Luther King day. I've gotta pee so bad. Dude, pee your pants. One time. Can we film it? Just pee your pants, dude. March Larith and film it. He could just piss in the sink like Big Cat.

Yeah, he did that. Did he actually do that? I don't know. It's not a no. I think he pissed in the sink at one point. The bathroom situation there in HQ2 was less than ideal. Sometimes you've got to piss in sinks. Sometimes you've got to go, dog.

Anything else? That'll do it for breaking news. All right, guys. It's gotta piss in sinks. Sometimes you gotta go, dog. Anything else? That'll do it for breaking news. Alright, guys. It's been a fun time. Tomorrow on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Juggling Back Podcast. For as little as $5 a month, you can just listen to our Bachelor-centric stuff, or you can just do the other tier and listen to our voicemails. Or for

$10 a month, you can get it all. Patreon's hot right now. People are hopping on board, man. It's hot in the streets. And not leaving. It's hot in the streets. R&B Radio tomorrow? They're loving it.

Are you doing R&B Radio tomorrow? Randy, are you down? I haven't listened yet. Do you guys just play a lot of D'Angelo and stuff? D'Angelo? What's D'Angelo? Hey, man, the one person who would understand this is Dave. See the one who always had his shirt off in his music videos?

Yeah, for good reason. Very sexual. Oh, my God. Apparently he was rock who always had his shirt off in his music videos? Yeah, for good reason. Very sexual. Oh my God. Apparently he was rock hard that entire time. True? No, actually,

the rumor in that music video is that he was actually getting a mouth thing. Wait, what? That's the rumor. Because you know the video, it's just him rotating.

The camera's going around him and you only see from his stomach up. Apparently he was getting domed out the entire time. There's no way that's true. There's no way that's true. I would bet everything on it. This is so inappropriate.

I know. Before the first episode of Touching Base, didn't you say that that's the only way you could record with us? And we were like, dude, Dylan, we can't have that episode. Come on. My mom listens to this, dude. Shout out to all the mommies out there. All right, let's get out of here.

Dude, people are turning your tweet into a slight at me. Well, for good reason. To be fair, after the mistake happened, we did pretty much all just kind of blame it on you anyway. Huh, okay. That seems rude. Yeah, but these people haven't listened to the episode before, so your reputation precedes you, unfortunately. Damn. All right, let's get out of here.

It's been fun. Bye. Bye. Damn. All right, let's get out of here. It's been fun. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.