Circling Back - Staredowns at Kohl's with The Booger Bandit

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Yep — That's Micah Wiener's voice after the Touching Base theme song. We rate Randy's Christmas tree, get an updated story from Will about the Double-Barrel Creamed Corn Egyptian Goose Man, we try astronaut food live on-air, discuss the Kohl's thieves, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:26) Rating Randy’s Christmas Tree (20:10) The Return of Double-Barrel Creamed Corn Egyptian Goose Man (31:30) SPACE BAR: The Boyz Try Astronaut Food (47:00) Kohl’s Thieves (1:10:10) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors This episode was also sponsored by BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/circling (10% off first month) EveryPlate: www.everyplate.com/podcast (49steam for $1.49 per meal and $1 steaks for life) Learn More about the Alfa Romeo Tonale at alfaromeousa.com  Naked Wines: www.nakedwines.com/steam (enter STEAM for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the washed media headquarters in Austin, Texas. My name is Will DeFreeze in the studio with me today, Dylan Chivary. Man, I don't have any cool little anecdotes or quips like Dave would bring. I'm just excited to be here, especially since the guest we have sitting next to you. I just want you to pass the rock directly to him right now. Presenting today's guest. Some of you know him by the Battletoad Bad Boy.

Others just know him as producer Micah. Presenting, Micah Weiner. Welcome to the program. Daddy's back. This is my first ever All Daddy podcast. What a treat to be with you guys. Wow. Is it?

I think so. Okay. Maybe. Hi, everyone. Welcome. Hey, can I get some shout outs out of. Hi, everyone. Welcome. Hey, can I get some shout outs out of the way? Yeah.

All right. I'm going to make it real quick. Just for the backers in my office, shouts to D-Man, T-Bone, Will, aka The Beard, and Christian. So shouts to you guys. It's good to be here. So in your office, you have a D a d man which is the seat you're sitting in today you have a dude named will aka the beard which i would say is close to me uh and then i don't know who's doing bone okay t-bone t-bone that's yeah actually we call we call randy t-bone because he famously orders at his steakhouses he he won one time he ordered a t-bone

that is true that is it and my last name begins with a t that's good that's good you're the other bone man none of us care that your name starts with a t we just like to call you t wait you just shout it out guys that you work with yeah wow yeah they're all backers uh really except for will aka the beard okay and i was the last time i was here i was shouting out The last time I was here, I was shouting out Christian and D-Man. And then I said, you know, Will's beard looks great. And he thought I was talking about him. And I didn't want to burst his bubble. So now I am bursting it.

I was not talking about you, Will. But I'm talking about you now. My beard looks better. I've had some tough time crafting this thing lately. Thank you guys for listening. T-Bone and Christian and Will the beard. And D-Man. And D-Man. The other D-Man. Why'd you give up on the mustache? some some tough time crafting this thing lately thank you guys for listening t-bone and christian and will the beard and d-man d-man the other d-man why'd you give up on the mustache like you've given up the mustache for me i'm really hot and cold on it like i said there are days when i have

a mustache i feel like i'm the hottest man in austin there are days i feel like i'm a two and i i can't i can't live in that fluctuation i get it bothering me i get it i understand where you're coming from like new facial hair always kind of is a little jarring but that being said like i'm such a fan of the mustache that i don't like seeing you abandon it this quickly also it feels like better when i have a little bit of scruff to complement the mustache but that's also like you're kind of trying too hard if you always have scruff to match okay fuck you i know no one knows no no you just think you're trying too hard if you always have scruff to match okay fuck you i know no one knows no no you just think you're trying too hard because it takes effort to have that scruff get maintained because no one else knows that it looks like you shaved you know like three days ago

which it's like it's if you maintain like a three-day shadow it's like all right man is there any way that you would commit to having a mustache for the Wash Media Holiday Party on Thursday evening? I think that's too soon to just go stash. This isn't long enough. It's long enough. Eh. But Thursday evening as in like tomorrow Thursday? Yeah.

Yeah, that's correct. If you shaved right now, you'd have stash. You might need just a little more time. Yeah. Like, are you going to be around at all? Do you want to come pop into the private room we got for the Wash Media holiday party? You won't. Are you guys going to tell me where the private room is, or are we keeping that pussy deep?

I'm not sure if you've ever heard of this place. It's a little place called Carve. Okay. This is like our fifth time in the private room. I'll be honest. I have some concerns about us hitting the minimum for the private room. The champagne room? So we might need some people there ordering a couple steaks to go.

Well, Randy will be there, so we'll hit the minimum quite easily, as he will spend like $400 on cocktails alone. The company will spend a lot. He's going to drink 500 grams of sugar worth of cocktails tomorrow. I cannot wait. Do they have a T-bone on the menu over there? They don't, which I was a little – I bet you can put it in a custom cup one for you.

Yeah, they take pride in their butchership. menu over there they don't which i was a little i bet you can ask them to custom custom yeah they take pride in their butchership um yeah no it that sounds great um you know it's actually a restaurant that's fairly close to where i i live i i hear no excuses so yeah that's good if you're in town i mean i think i think the invite i think we're okay with inviting you come through bitch okay okay all right we'll we'll talk through come through friend thank you make it happen you mean one one reason except for after we should tell you it is cowboy it is cowboy themed we're cowboy theming it so you do you do have to dress a little western what does that do for you that that that kind of ups the ante in a good way on deck yeah i wouldn't

be surprised if you had a cowboy hat as well. See, like that might make it an easier pitch for my wife. There you go. Like this isn't just a dinner with the boys. Think about – It's a cowboy-themed Christmas party. Think about the gram opportunity. Mm-hmm. I mean, seriously.

You know, we missed one when we were all together at Barrett's event. I know. It's true. Oh, yeah. We did miss that. And that was another situation where the minimum was not reached. We had to play catch up. I forget if you guys were there, mostly because things got a little hazy at the end because I spent the last half hour of the party with –

I think it was Laura's cousin who was just ordering the rarest whiskeys inside the restaurant. And we were drinking them together because we had to play a little catch up. Yeah. That's a great place to be in yeah if that happened like were you ever in like i'm gonna take you back to the you know the fraternity days like did you ever have a time where you couldn't hit the bar minimum at like a party and so everyone just got to go crazy i don't think so not dylan's fret yeah we were pounding man yeah that was actually a test that was a test and you passed it you guys are not enough we were so frat oh my god

yeah that is a good place to be man we were like yeah like whatever you want on the menu it's it's all on the table just go for it and we and we did sally sally had a year where they they had a bar tab at some place and they they didn't hit it on new year's eve and so they instead of like not i don't know what what happened but they ended up having a bunch of money left over that people had pitched in for this party. And instead they just went to El Tiempo in Houston the next day and just all sat down and ordered the most expensive things on the menu with the leftover money from the party. They probably should have issued refunds to people instead. But anytime you get free reign at El Tiempo, I think you take it. That sounds like a good situation to be in too.

Speaking of margaritas and frat parties can can we talk about something that will and i share now yes uh i uh along with will have acquired a commercial grade margarita machine yes frozen margarita you guys co-own it yeah we co-own it yeah so we need it for any wash functions uh how long how many times has this thing been used? It has never been used. It is brand new. There is a guy in my neighborhood who buys pallets, okay? And there is a neighborhood Facebook group, and he's often selling these random pallets of things. It's sort of like storage wars.

Like you just kind of buy stuff and you resell it. This sounds very shady, but I'll keep going. Yeah, it kind of is. I bought $180 worth of baby wipes from him one time. Like I've got a life – my child will never need any more baby wipes. They're in my garage. That's what's up, dude. And one time he got 45 vacuum cleaners.

It's not even a Connor Stallion's joke. It's just a thing that happened. This guy's a thief. We don't do Connor Stallion's jokes. He's from Philly. It might have fallen off the truck. I don't know. But shstallion. He's from Philly. It might have fallen off the truck. I don't know. But shouts to him.

He's moving. So he's like, I've been trying to find a commercial-grade margarita machine for years. And I finally got it. But I got to empty out the garage. I was told the value. We got this for about a third of its retail value. We'll just say that. 33 cents on the dollar.

Micah hit me up at a really good time when he asked me if I wanted to go in on this with him. That's because I was three sheets to the wind on margaritas. And so I was just like, absolutely book this thing. That's a perfect time to ask someone to commit financially to something. Yeah. How long have you had this in your possession? Two, three, four weeks?

Something like that? And you haven't fired it up yet? I have not had the occasion to fire it up. You know, it also doubles as a pina colada machine. I'm just putting that out there. It certainly does. Is there any way that Carve would let us set it up in the private room tomorrow night and we could just sit there just pouring our own margaritas? We could just buy bottle service from them and then dump that into the margarita machine. The restaurant bar down the street from me that I talk about all the time, they have frozen whiskey sour machine.

Oh. And the guy let me sample one the other day absolutely sounds great the first drink i ever ordered legally was a whiskey sour we we arrived in mexico and uh it was a senior year spring break and we went up to the bar and we absolutely buckled in front of the bartender and we were just like oh we'll do a round of whiskey sours that's that's sick that's yeah i like that i drank a lot of those as a freshman in college. I like that. Okay.

So I'll be looking forward to my invitation. So the only time that I have scheduled for this right now is we will be doing 100% frozen Irish coffees for the St. Patrick's Day party in the drip, which I've invited you guys to. I haven't gotten that invite. I mentioned it like a thousand times to you guys. Frozen Irish coffee. We talked about it at Barrett's thing. Never heard of such a thing. It might have been before the whiskey came out.

Never heard of such a thing. I think Nickel City, the bar on the east side, has it. Never even had a cold one. I don't. It's happening. So you've been warned. You think I won't fucking show up? Is that what you think?

No, no, no. No. I'm just saying, right now now i have margarita machine seen in my garage that nothing is scheduled for use for another three months so or four months essentially so if you guys if the opportunity arises it's available well thank you are we ready i don't know are? For Will's five-star review of the week. Wow. See how he does that? I didn't see it coming.

I've got some really good news this week, guys. Instead of a three-star review this week, I'll be reading a five-star review for Will's five-star review of the week. This is from someone named Eric Cantona. You guys familiar with who this is? I know Mike is not. Eric Cantona. You guys familiar with who this is? I know Mike is not. Eric Cantona. He is a famous soccer

player from Manchester United. I didn't know he listened. Yeah, apparently he does because that is the name here. He left a five star review with the subject line just simply Eric Cantona. It's the longest review I think we've ever received.

He did the lyrics to a song are you guys familiar with the song the 12 days of christmas yes oh my goodness yeah big fan well he wrote his own version which i'm going to uh do a reading of right now is it clean yeah it's clean um i'll just do i'm gonna read the end of it so we get all of the things instead of doing it from the beginning and then me just doing all of them. You understand how the song works. Go for it. He says, on the 12th day of Christmas, my dufferies gave to me 12 shiveries, 11 shiveries, 10 shiveries, 9 shiveries, 8 shiveries, 7 shiveries, 6 shiveries, 5 shiveries, 4 shiveries five shiveries four shiveries three shiveries two shiveries and a dylan shivery

that's fucking beautiful wow wow five star review hey you really put your soul into that of the week i appreciate that that's an accident that's so good i mean yeah when it comes to the music that i produce like you don't listen to it for my vocal prowess. You just listen to it for the nuances. I'm looking to feel bad for Dave not getting a shout in there, but he's not here, so he won't hear it probably. Yeah, I think the guy knew that Dave was out with his surgeries and stuff. And so it makes sense that he would just, you know, isolate us there. I thought there was going to be a reference to the three non-consecutive E's in Chivalry. Well, there are four.

I'm sorry, the four non-consecutive E's. It's very rare. We'd be leaving one out. James wanted to add you on Fortnite the other day. I'm sorry, the four. It's been a while. We'd be leaving one out. James wanted to add you on Fortnite the other day. He's like, how do you spell it? I spell it out. I'm like, it's four E's, not consecutive. Dude, yeah, you don't see that too often. No. I'm sorry. I forgot about one of those. Yeah, it's okay. Hey, speaking of music,

have you guys heard about this challenge that's out there for the Wham Christmas song? Have you guys talked about that? No. No. This Christmas, right? Not a. No. This Christmas, right? Not a great song. This Christmas, I gave you my heart. That's a great song.

What are you talking about, bitch? It's fine. Okay. It's polarizing. It's a great song. It's okay. It's polarizing. I mean, I know you're a big wham guy, but.

That's my favorite wham joint song. All right. Well, anyway, apparently this is now a big enough. It started as a TikTok challenge, and now it's big enough because I saw it on Today Show this morning. It's called Whamageddon, and you have to avoid hearing that song from December – for the 25 days of Christmas or the 12 days of Christmas, which I think we're now into. So if you can avoid hearing it, the version no covers don't count dylan's you you weren't disqualified just by hearing dylan sing it so um but i guess if you're a retail yeah you get on a group chat with your your your people and you say okay guys i'm like i guess like

the seinfeld episode i'm out you know right one of those authoritative slap you just smack the table slap at the table mom as kramer did in, thank you for the reference, when he came to masturbation. Nice. Yes, he did. Yes. Serenity Now? Different happy. Different happy.

They had numerous masturbation episodes? That one wasn't about masturbation. That was about just anger management. I feel like there's a lot of Seinfeld episodes that don't get played on normal television just because they might be like a little out there. It might have been a miss of an episode that I need to go back and like find. Because like if you go back and you watch old Frasier episodes like on a streaming network, there are definitely episodes that they just straight up don't put on regular TV.

I feel like there's Seinfeld episodes that are just completely escaping me. Probably. Yeah. They told the line a bit. Speaking of Christmas, what's my Christmas tree rating? Oh, yeah, yeah. We gotta get to Randy's Christmas tree rating. Here, before we get to Randy's Christmas tree rating,

can we hear from our friends over at BetterHelp? Today's show is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holidays are here. I don't know about you guys, but sometimes I get a little down over the holidays. If you're away from family, maybe you're just not feeling it that year. It's just a little difficult. And sometimes in life, you're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. And sometimes it's

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Toss that tree up, Randy. All right. I got it on the Twitters. I have some comments. I mean, I'm pretty happy with my immediate view of this tree. Lights look good. Colored lights. You have the ornaments are personalized, which you know is a big, big thing for your boy.

You have a tree skirt. There's nothing flashy about it, but you skirt it's there's nothing flashy about it but you got one there's nothing flashy about it well the train that's not part of the actual skirt it's just on the skirt the train is impressive i'm does it actually rotate does it go around yes yes and actually uh you put a little bit of water in there and uh shoot steam out holy shit that's huge uh topper good looking topper uh you know how i am with you know when i can i look at someone i immediately know how tall they are same thing applies to christmas trees i know a six footer when i see one randy this is a six foot that's a seven foot that is not a seven it says

on the box but brett gave me i can ask that's not seven feet tall wow you cannot convince wow i can ask brett right now he's the one that gave it to me a tree line about its height this is this is a six foot probably six ten it's seven with the topper on it because it's so big maybe that's maybe that's what it well that's you know the topper also as i gave you a close-up here it also projects onto the ceiling was the top report wow why are you madding our man with that wienermobile dog oh i didn't even notice what did you intentionally buy a wienermobile ornament just so you could troll dylan i might dock you a point for that wait does dylan not like the wienermobile ornament just so you could troll dylan i might dock you a point for that wait does dylan not like the wienermobile well i mean being a hot dog himself

he actually loves the wienermobile i thought he was trolling me because of the spelling of my last name randy i am slightly concerned about the crack in your wall behind the tree yeah is there a foundation issue oh probably okay i just want you to make i just want you to check on that. Yeah, we should talk to maintenance about it. It's not great. Okay. I just don't think this is a seven-foot tree. You want me to go ask Brett right now? What?

I don't know. Unless he has a picture of him holding a tape measure next, so I'm not going to believe a word he says. I'm going to give this a 7.2. 7. I'm going to give this a 7.2. 7.2. He's giving me a 7.2. I'm giving the bin for the doubt that it's 7 feet, even though my eyes are telling me that it's not.

If I find out you're lying, I'm going to take a full point away. Because you know 7 feet is the standard base height for an American Christmas tree. 7.2. Well, take a 7.2. Luckily for you, Randy's box said 7 feet. I'm Team Randy here. I don't like that you're diminishing the size of the tree. I literally it. Well, luckily for you, Randy's box had seven feet. I'm team Randy here. I don't like that you're diminishing the size of the tree.

I literally just gave him the benefit of the doubt. All right, Randy, tonight you need to take a photo next to the tree. Yeah, I need it for scale. I am seven feet, so yes. So a door frame, a standard door frame, which is one in the background, is I believe six feet nine inches

is a standard. This looks like it's hitting below that. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. It's in the fourth door frame. Randy balls. Randy balls. He gets those high ceilings in his crib dude yeah this door frame is bigger no no the door frame in the background that's i'm not talking about that archway there i'm talking about the actual door that you walk through and behind it i'll take a 7-2 thank you i haven't submitted mine this year. I'm sorry. Can we talk about the train again?

There's a train in a circular track around the – I've never seen this before. And is this really running on steam? Is it battery powered? No, it's not. It's not an actual steam engine. Is there a full steam engine in your home? It sounds like a fire hazard. No, no. It runs on batteries, but there's like a little tank inside there.

You put water in it. It just immediately makes into water vapor so it looks like steam that's which is a nice touch it's a very nice only like 25 bucks on uh on amazon i'm gonna i'm gonna take it apart and repaint it so it looks like the purdue train and put decals and stuff next year okay that's good that's such a randy task you're the only one doing that. Yeah, no one's doing that. Oh, I might get a Boilermaker tomorrow at our cowboy-themed farty. Instead of getting wine, I might just be doing shot and a beer the entire time. Can we order four Boilermakers? Yeah, dude.

It's going to happen. I've never had a Boilermaker. They're fine. Yeah, I don't. I hate to say this. This is going to really expose me as not being a cowboy. No one's confusing you with an actual cowboy. No, people think I'm a cowboy dude.

They all think it cause I have cowboy boots now, but there's something about the juxtaposition between a shot of beer and like, or I'm sorry, a shot of whiskey and the taste of beer. It's that combination back to back is just not something I can handle very well. If we're going to a school who's mascot is the Boilermakers,

they weren't a big thing at our school. That's insane. You guys should have just had one bar called Boilermaker and it just only served Boilermakers. The boys would be buzzing. I do love a shot in a beer, though. Not that I enjoy it, but if I see it on a menu, I order it. Can we order hand-rolled cigarettes and you just smoke

them in the private room? Dude, bring back Lucille. What a special they had there like 10 bucks can i do a little story time boys yes i come to you with somewhat of a heavy heart it's one of the maybe more of a concerned heart uh a couple weeks ago i told a story on this podcast and i told it before on a on a patreon episode about a gentleman in my neighborhood who drives around and feeds our invasive species, Egyptian geese, creamed corn. And this gentleman and I had a very tense exchange one time. If you want to go back and hear about this exchange, you can go to the

previous episode where we talk about Egyptian geese. It's in the title of the episode. But I have an update. This morning, as I was getting Fritz ready to go to school, Sally asked me if I'd go take our dog out. It was raining outside. I didn't really want to go outside at that moment. But, you know, our dog needed to go out. So I took her out. Took her down for a little walk down to the scene of the original crime. And everything was normal down there.

If anything, it was a little abnormal down there because there's only one goose right now down there. Which, hopefully, hopefully, I don't like to prey on the downfall of certain things, but hopefully the other goose is dead. Sheesh. That would be big for me. So I was walking up the little hill next to our place and turning the corner to go back in and get out of the rain. I hear this honking, not goose honking. It's coming from a car. And I'm very confused as to what's going on because it's an aggressive honk. What would you guess a goose honk sounded like?

Randy, do you have a – That was not my best. Randy was pretty good. Well, that is good. That is good. That's good, Randy. Do you have a goose call over there? Micah, do you have a goose honk?

I don't. I have a bit of a head cold and I don't want to embarrass myself. I don't know. That might have a subpar. Honk and I don't want to embarrass myself. I don't know. That might be a subpar. Honk it out, dude. I do not. And so usually there's a tense intersection near my place where people pull too far forward through the stop sign so they can look around and see if they can turn.

And this often causes cars to honk at each other because people are like, get out of my way. You're in the lane. Got it. And so hearing honking there was not something out of the norm. But when I turned and saw something happening, I was like, oh God, it's back. There are two Priuses at the stop sign. One of them is a black Prius in the front and the other one is a white Prius in the back. Did one of them have like, I don't know, a rambler magnet on the side that was sticking out?

I regret to inform everyone that one of them did in fact have a water bottle sticking out of the side driver's door, perpendicular, just sticking out there. This is the weirdest flex of all time. The dude is honking on the horn, like at the car in front of him. And I think he's, I don't know what's going on. He ends up like aggressively pulling around to the side of the other Prius. And he starts doing hand motions at the guy. I can't tell if he's waving happily at the guy or if he's like yelling at him for something.

But based on what I know about this psycho, I think he was giving this guy some grief. He legitimately had the... Legitimately had the water bottle. Not on the top of the some grief he legitimately had the legitimately had the water bottle on that not on the top of the car like he had it the first time he had a he was driving around with it on the side of the car like a turret aimed at people so the first time it wasn't just like a one-off like oh look how quirky i can be it's like this is actually who he is his personal brand is this pink water bottle sticking out of the side of his fucking he's got he's like he's got swangers it's so weird like dude we can all of his fucking he's got he's like he's got swangers it's so weird like dude we can all just go purchase a magnet it's not like it's not that

cool no no and like that should only be used in like like worst case scenarios where like you need the magnet it should not be like your entire brand of no i'm the guy with the magnetic water bottle that sticks out the side of my car what a bon boner. Again, it's raining. It's about 45 degrees out. And he turns and he turns toward my area. And I think to myself like, oh, this could be interesting. Well, his window was down and he had his arm hanging out the side of the window and he locks eyes with me. I lock eyes with him. He remembers you. Yeah. Oh, he remembers me. I lock eyes with him and I just watch him slowly drive by me and he and I are locked in the entire time.

No breaking of it. For how many seconds? It was probably all of three seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Sure. And so when you're locking eyes with someone that might just be completely unhinged like this guy is... That's my worry, Will. I don't want you to... Okay.

I know. That's my worry, too. I don't want to egg this guy on any more than he already is because he's already unhinged. But I mean, you do keep that thing on you, though, right? The blicky? This guy seems like concealed carry kind of person. Exactly. That's why I don't want to fuck with him.

Or non-concealed. That's why I don't want to fuck with him. Or non-concealed. That's why I don't want to fuck with him at this point. Constitutional carry. Yes. So we're locking eyes. And then as one does, when he starts to get beyond the radius that my neck can turn, I turn my head away, away from him. I wanted to know if he was still staring me down while I was walking in with my dog. And so I snapped my neck around in a 360 motion and lock eyes with him again.

And he just guns me down as he just goes down to the original area where we had our little Tiff. So he's just staring at me the entirety of this time. Okay. I consider throwing a bird up. I want you to be careful. I consider, I consider throwing a bird up. I want you to be careful. I consider it. I didn't do it because I am, I, because I have these concerns about this guy. He ends up, uh, he ends up driving to the little roundabout at the boat launch.

And I, I scurry through my complex and I go to this little viewpoint that you can see from our pool that is overlooking the entire boat launch. Yeah. He is just slowly going around there, looking around. And I think he's looking for the geese. That's all I can think of. You think he was strapped with cans of creamed corn? I do think he was strapped with cans of creamed corn. Okay. I'm going to get back to the original story, which you shared with me earlier, but, and I'm sure most of the audience knows by now, but he had cans, like not only, he didn't just have two cans of, did he have a can? Yes, I think he did. He had four total crans at cans of creamed corn. And these things are opened up. They like, there's no top

on them. They're like opened up with the first time they're opened up with like the tops flipped up on them and he's just getting ready to go. so i assume that you you don't with this guy all logic does go out the window so like it's possible he's driving around with open cans of creamed corn but i also think it's very plausible that he just has a can opener and so who knows right um and so i watch him kind of going around and i'm like oh man like i this guy's either looking for geese or he's looking for me. And so I consider going back out and seeing if he says anything to me, but instead I go back in and I see him loop around and I'm just, I'm just peering out of the open doorway that goes out of our place. Okay.

And I see what I just don't want to see. I see him driving back and he's just slinking by our place and he's just looking. For you? He's just gazing, gazing around, looking in. My heart was racing at this moment. I don't know what to do. And I was just totally freaked out. I walk upstairs and I'm like, Sally, he's back and he's ready for action. And I don't know what to do now. He's looking for trouble. He is looking for trouble. And now that he's back at the top of my inbox, I just don't even know what to do. No words were exchanged, correct? No words exchanged.

He said everything he needed to with those eyes, man. Some icy glare. Good news is, I hope it's okay to say, you're probably moving soon, correct? Yes, yes. Like very soon. Hopefully, very soon. Okay. You need to just keep this guy, stay off of his radar, man, because this guy might be

like an actual lunatic. I need straight up avoidance tactics at this point. You do. Avoid the eye contact. Dude, it's hard when they're staring you down. Dude, I just, I don't trust this dude, man. I don't trust him either. I don't trust him either, Dylan.

I don't like it. Like, yeah, the fact that we're moving soon makes me very happy because one, I don't have to deal with these geese anymore and I don't need to worry about this guy anymore. But like now for the next couple of weeks, I'm just going to be rolling around. Like this probably isn't a great time to say this. If anyone's looking to rent a three bedroom condominium and, uh, in a nice area of Austin, Texas, hit your boy up. Cause I'm currently looking for someone to fill the spot. But if you don't want to deal with a psycho of a, of a goose guy, you know, just know if you move in, you're going to have to avoid this guy. It's just not something you want to do.

I don't like that. He knows you live there. there i don't either i guess he already kind of assumed that since what do i do now avoid do i need a disguise no you just need to avoid him i think i need a disguise like i i i might have to walk around i might have to walk around with my poker from my uh from my fire kit this dude has nothing yeah but what about rosie like if you just wore a mask and you're still walking the same dog he's gonna know it's you so you're telling me don't let her out on the balcony he might be able to find out just be like oh i don't know man i just i want you to avoid the guy no eye contact just go about your business as if he's not there i think that's that's my only move i feel like i'm in an episode of curb or something dude like people like this you read about in the

newspaper you know it's like it's not good the look he was giving me is the same look that larry david gives people when he's like when he's staring him down okay well that would make me laugh and i was it's it's just it's just a concerning it's just a concerning environment. I'm very David's great at that. Yeah, man. I don't know. This is just really odd behavior. Really odd behavior. I will update people as needed, but please know that I will be trying to –

I can't say that I will try to kill him with kindness, but I will be trying to avoid any chippiness between he and I for the next duration. I think you avoid all contact. Yeah, yeah. You don't try and kill him with anything. Yeah, so I'll keep everybody updated. It's really fun. It's really fun. It's bizarre. If I had any advice

for this guy, it's get out of that Prius and slide into an Alfa Romeo Tonale. That's the only way he can get his drip up at this point. Will a magnet stick to the outside of an Alfa Romeo as well? Based on what I know about the craftsmanship of Alfa Romeo Tonales, I would say that they can really handle anything. That's a good point.

These things are all new. They're loaded with tech. They got that large touchscreen. They got the safety tech, automatic emergency braking. I mean, Brett even drove one the other day from Las Vegas to Los Angeles that had the highway assist, which is just a beautiful thing to have. For me, though, it's that Italian craftsmanship inside and out. Ah, va bene.

See? You a big Tommy DeVito guy, too? Prego. Not particularly. Okay. Just his agent. Just his agent. He almost certainly drives an Alfa Romeo.

Yeah, it's so swag. Like I said, the Italian exterior and interior, they're just beautiful. And it's got that plug-in hybrid technology, baby. Freedom to choose between gas or electric. It's got all the range. Learn more about Alfa Romeo Tonales at alfaromeousa.com. Again, that's alfaromeotonales at alfaromeousa.com. Will, I think you forgot the promo code.

There's no promo code. Oh, okay. Sorry. But, I mean, you know. You know, if you go to the website, you could probably use promo code WASH. Tell them the circling back boy is setting you at the dealership. And they're probably a backer and they're probably setting you up. Who knows?

Micah, once a producer, always a producer, man. You were quick on that. Oh, what's that? Are we doing a little space bar? Are you kidding me? This is an exciting one. Which episode? Was it recently?

Was it this week? We talked about astronaut food? It wasn't this week. It couldn't have been this week. That would have been a quick turnaround. It was last week, yeah. We talked about astronaut. Oh, during the space bar segment,

we talked about astronaut food. I have never had astronaut food, so I'm very excited about what's about to happen. I had astronaut food in, I don't know, second grade. They brought it to school, something like that. It was definitely elementary school. I remember in elementary school, there was a class that was in our hallway and they had astronaut food from one of the teachers that brought it in. And I remember being like, that is the coolest thing of all time. Why do we not get to try this in our classroom? Well, today, my friend, is your lucky day because you're going to try astronaut food.

Okay. You keep saying astronaut food. Is this astronaut ice cream? It's astronaut ice cream and apple wedges. Wow. Okay, because I believe I've had astronaut ice cream at least 30 years ago. So, listener Victoria was kind enough to mail this to us, and it arrived this morning just in time for this recording. So we're all going to have some today. Shouts to Vicky.

It's just dehydrated ice cream is what it is. I don't understand how you can dehydrate an ice cream. You just don't let it drink water for an extended period of time. You get it really hammered the night before. Yeah. Okay. This is from the package. This is real ice cream.

We take the ice cream you know and love with the power of freeze-drying, create a yummy new snack. Frozen in time, yet not frozen in temperature. When you remove the water from ice cream, what do you have? A delicious, crunchy, yet creamy sweetness that melts in your mouth, sandwiched between two chocolatey wafer cookies. We have cookies and cream and Neapolitan. Oh. And then, of course, we're going to hit you with some apple wedges to top it all off.

I'm excited about those. So I'm just going to dig in right now. So you don't have to do anything to this? No. I always assumed they had to put it in water or something. There's a no-go up there. I know. I know.

Dude, I know. I'm not a man in STEM. I don't know this shit. How do they get hydrated up there if there's no water? I up there. I know. I know. Dude, I know. You know my – I'm not a man in STEM. I don't know this shit. How do they get hydrated up there if there's no water? I'm sure they have water. They drink it through like pouches and shit. Yeah.

Oh. Do they have – This looks like a nice good sandwich. Do they have magnetic water bottles that stick on the side of the space station? They have to. Otherwise, they'd be floating all around. Is that space shuttle? Right here.

Just take a chunk. I mean, these look pretty freaking good. I thought this was going to look like something weird. Take a chunk. I mean, these look pretty freaking good. I thought this was going to look like something weird. I'm trying to save something for YouTube, Randy. Thank you. I'm not in front of a microphone. No, dude.

Screw Randy. Oh, no. I want some, Will. I've been also getting served a lot of dehydrated, no, freeze-dried candy on TikTok. Have you been getting these? No. People like freeze-dried Skittles.ok have you been getting these no people like freeze-dried skittles i've it's on the tiktok shop that sounds mental i had a friend one of my buddy's moms back in the day used to put the gummy bears in the in the refrigerator and i always thought that was a nice

sensation it would start cold and a little tougher and then it would then it would get really really nice i take his little pieces. Okay. That's, you know, I'm just here for the flavor. That's fine. I thought that astronaut food was supposed to be like non-crumbly. I kind of remember my astronaut ice cream experience being extremely crumbly previously. I mean, can you imagine being an astronaut and having to clean up all the crumbs when you're just trying to like do space shit? That's what I'm saying.

The crumbs are just floating around everywhere. They just float everywhere. Yeah, that'd be annoying. How is it? It's really good. It's delicious. I'm'm trying i'm trying my first ever astronaut food oh shit i just got crumbs all fucking over me this is a disaster they should sell these at like convenience stores for people who don't want to like get an ice cream sandwich and have it melt all over their car you won't believe the mess i just made over here why don't why can't we give these to our kids in the car all over your car yeah but the crumbs are easy to clean up than like the sticky ice cream stuff i might just start serving this stuff to fritz this shit's dank isn't that good i want one of these apple peels victoria

that's fine dude you're the vacuum king of wash media. That's true, I am. That stuff's good, man. I forgot how good that is. Bust these apples open and toss them out. All right. I got to try an apple slice now. So they're just taking the regular food and dehydrating it somehow?

I guess. I don't understand how this works. Well, it's freeze-dried, obviously. Can you freeze-dry anything? I have nipples. Can you freeze-dry anything? I have nipples. Can you freeze-dry me? You can freeze-dry Skittles, as I said. It's weird.

They pop. Wine. Is this apple slices? Oh. And what? Oh, God. Apple slices. It just tastes like it's dehydrated apple, which I guess is exactly what it is.

Like, these are fine. I'm going ice cream sandwich every single time, though. No, I don't know. This apple is amazing. Yeah, it's fun. You got a little hint of cinnamon in it? I think if I'm up in space and I want something sweet, I'm going for the dehydrated apple. My second bite of dehydrated apple was way better than my first bite of dehydrated apple.

I got way more shit in it. Yeah, that's good. I feel like we could put these in like cocktails or something. These are gas. Where do you stand right now in dehydrated like limes and stuff in cocktails, Micah? It seems like a good idea. As someone who has a six-month-old. I haven't been frequenting cocktail bars recently, so I can't speak to that. I see it on Instagram, and it seems to be a wonderful thing.

You have – for me, you're probably the most up-to-date on any Austin food goings-ons just from Instagram. Anytime I see a post where I'm like, oh, Micah would like this, you've already liked it and maybe even shared it with me at this point. I like supporting local businesses. Micah, if someone wanted to make like, oh, I don't know, an old-fashioned, is there like a video tutorial you can point to to show us how to do it? Happy holidays. What's Micah's official cocktail of the holiday season this year? Oh, man. It's a good question. And you can find that old-fashioned video, by the way, at Michael Weiner on Instagram, M-I-C-A-H-W-I-E-N-E-R.

Thank you, Randy. You know, it's a great question, Will. This is also one of the challenges I have. I will be in New York for three weeks over the Christmas holiday with my wife and child and her family. And they're not really drinkers. Show them what's up, dude. My father-in-law drinks beer – or my brother-in-law, I should say, will drink some beers. But like there's never – they're never like, hey, man, let me make you one of these. Or do you want to go to this cocktail bar? I'm sure we'll have one in the city.

Were they not in Frax? I don't get it. I think they're in F. Jeez. Yeah, GDIs. Doesn't compute with me. I don't get it. But whatever.

Man, the thing is, I'd like to – I'm seeing a lot of like winter rum drinks. I think rum is about to be having a moment. I just – I never keep rum in my house. Daddy loves rum. I think we're in a pre-rum phase right now where like the real ones are starting to drink that nice rum and those nice rum drinks. And I think next year at this time, like rum's just going to be everywhere. Pre-rum? I get. Pre-rum. I get that feeling. And so I often share these recipes with Will because I know you keep that rum in your in your liquor sally sally's a she likes a rum cocktail i like dark rum love it spiced hell no oh okay like i know this isn't

some crazy thing but like meyer's dark rum can make a great cocktail meyer's dark is my favorite that's my rum up choice okay noted michael i mean maybe we'll find one you're a new orleans boy sure how do you feel about the Vucaray? I hate to say I'm unfamiliar. Oh, I thought you would absolutely know what this is. What is it? These things have been following me around lately. I had no clue it was a classic New Orleans cocktail.

And I saw one on a menu recently, and I pointed at it to the waiter and said, I don't know how to say this. And he was like, oh, that's a classic cocktail from New Orleans. And I was like, oh, well, I'll go fuck myself. What's in it? Rye, some sweet vermouth, and then something else. It's almost like a different variation of like a Manhattan. But ever since I've seen it the one time on the menu, I've been seeing it on all these other menus. And now I'm kind of super into them.

Obviously, the NOLA nod feels good too. Can you spell this for me? Can you spell this for me? V-I-E-U-X space C-A-R-R-E with a apostrophe on top of that E. That's a sick name. Can you give us a dramatic reading of what's in this cocktail, Micah, after you get through the life story of the bartender? I'm on one of these websites where you have to scroll down and close five different pre-roll ads. They tell you the life story about how they first discovered this drink. This is from Liquor.com, which is an equally terrible website.

How do you spell it? New Orleans has played a significant role in cocktail culture over the past century plus. Did you guys know that? What's the most famous New Orleans cocktail? The Hangernade? It's not the Hangernade. I mean, that that may be the answer it's unfortunately in the running hurricane the sazerac is is or the hurricane i suppose i can't do sazeracs so this one this recipe calls

for three quarters ounce rye three quarters 3⁄4-ounce sweet vermouth, and 2 teaspoons Benedictine liqueur and 4 dashes of pimento aromatic bitters garnished with a cherry. I was hoping there was going to be a word in there that gave you an opportunity to use like a sick accent or something, but it kind of came up empty. They probably drink these in the French noir films that you frequented back in the day, though. My wife did call me out. We went to a Mexican restaurant this weekend, and I ordered guacamole. Of course you did. And the enchiladas. And she was like, why did you say it like that?

I'm like, that's how you say it. I guess I had never done that in front of her before. How is that possible? Have the enchilada, please. You've done that in front of her before, but. How is that possible? Have the michelada, please. Done it in front of us a thousand times. I don't know. Maybe she just never noticed. So it's evident that the Buc-ee's bandit never listened to Touching Base.

That's for sure. How do you actually, at a restaurant, we're not trying to impress people, how do you actually say guacamole? Well, actually, Caitlin ordered the guacamole. do you say walk or guac oh i would say walk right or guacamole if i you know don't want to be too over the top yeah but no i ordered enchiladas and uh and actually i ordered a michelada okay michelada a michelada. A michelada with the – Michelada. Delicious version. Anyway, yeah. I would drink whatever this drink is, Will.

Would you entertain one? I would entertain one. I'll try one. It maybe has too many ingredients to make at home. It's a lot. This is an at-the-bar specialty cocktail menu only kind of job. I don't keep cognac in my liquor cabinet, and I don't even know what Benedictine liqueur is. So yeah, this is one.

So I think if I see this on a cocktail menu, I'd order it. Okay. Okay. I'm just putting it on the radar out there for all the backers. I'm very scared that I'm not saying Vucaray well enough for anybody out there. I'll ping Dr. Mark Allen on this one. Okay. Thank you.

I appreciate that. That dude's at Galatoire's every other week. Yeah, he's having a lot of fun. He's got a good thing going. I have a situation where someone in my life is having lunch at Galatoire's for something, and they're doing it on Saturday. And I've been trying to tell them that they absolutely need to pivot to Friday. I'm like, no, no, no.

You go Friday. Like, that's why. Wait, why? Because Friday's when everyone turns up. Yeah, the Friday lunch is go Friday. Like, that's why. Wait, why? Because Friday is when everyone turns up. Yeah, the Friday lunch is the – Oh, that's the time to go. Oh, I didn't – The last time Mark Allen went there, Tom Hanks was at the table next to him.

He showed me. Did he ask Tom to FaceTime Chet with him? You know what? I don't believe he did. Do you think Tom even has Chet's number right now? I don't think they FaceTime. Did you see Chet dropped a – he dropped a new banger on the timeline did he use a jamaican accent no he's on his acoustic grind oh really yeah someone called him the working man's john mayer that's

good it's not it's not the best song but like it wasn't the worst song okay it's better than i could do okay the working it would be really nice to be chet hanks and just really have nothing you need to worry about so you just sit around just like just okay i'm gonna get into reggae tone right now uh all right i'm gonna switch gears and get acoustic i always forget that he was in an episode of curb until i chet was yeah which episode oh my gosh you have to look it up uh he played he was uh in the military yes okay and he did and everyone said oh thank you for your being introduced to him ever thank you for your service thank you for your service that's a great nice to meet you everyone like looked at him like dude you didn't say it and it became a thing

yeah larry david does it i'm excited for the new season that's uh coming up oh yeah february february very exciting maybe we should find a larry david themed frozen drink and have a watch party i don't hate that i mean he was spotted i have a theory that this might be in the new season that's coming up but he was spotted drinking espresso martinis with uh timothy chalamet outside at a bar in in new york really i'm gonna assume that they're not just boys and hanging out i I'm going to assume that this might have been like a taping of something. It's easy to know because there would be cameras around. Well, there was a camera.

I took a photo of them sitting there. Video cameras. Dylan, do you have plans for the UT, you know, semifinal football game and or national championship game? I do not have plans yet for the Sugar Bowl. However, if Texas were to win that game and play in the national championship, I might have a lead on some ticks. Oh, because that game would be in Houston.

That game would be in H-Town. Yeah. Our good friend of the show, Mike Eisenhower, he has an N, and he asked me if I won a ticket, and I said, I think you know the answer to that. So we'll see. Yeah. You hit him with a voice note back. Yeah.

So make a goose noise. But for the sugar bowl, I don't know yet. I'm open to firing up your margarita machine and letting it rip a little bit. Well, I won't be here. But, you know, it's also Will's margarita machine so if it's true that is fact yeah exciting time though i'm sure it is i'm sure it is yeah what bowl did mizzou make uh we were playing in the cotton bowl new year's six damn y'all are ohio state's in big big trouble maybe celebrate celebrating flipmas this year oh Oh, we're already celebrating.

Really? Yes. We flipped a Colorado commit this week. Wow. And Drinkwits took a photo wearing the Dion blockers with the kid, which is just – You know what? He's such a nerd, but he's our nerd. So shouts to the people listening to that niche college football reference there.

I enjoy that. That's cool. Yeah. Things are going great. I thought we were just going to sit around on Christmas listening to Lil' Flip or something. We can do that if you want. Game over. I don't know.

I'm not too familiar with this catalog, but I'm willing. I'm willing. You know my favorite thing about Lil' Flip is he had a couple of pop hits at one point, I think one called sunshine. And, uh, like he went, he went national at,

for a minute there. And, uh, I was watching, he was doing a MTV making the video, uh, show. As you guys recall,

I know Will's rest in peace and, uh, an avid watcher. And, uh, he was on the beach and And he was on the beach with money and doing the thing. And some guy, obviously a frat guy, maybe one of Dylan's fraternity brothers, came up to him and was like, what's up, Flip? And he's like, yeah, hey, man, I'm shooting a video. He's like, oh, what song? He goes, Sunshine. He goes, oh, yeah, I just buy the mixtapes. He's like, I just went platinum. He's like,

yeah, I don't buy your actual album. I'm only on that mixtape grind, which I know Dylan keeps his ear to the street. Absolutely, I do. You were on Big X, the plug. Is that the guy's name? Yeah, I was on him from real early. Big John from Texas.

Really? I knew that. Yeah. Big X. Yeah yeah you went to high school here and everything yeah you've looked here your entire life he's a big man uh randy we have a story that's very in your world yes i also uh just start this off let's let people know i have 40 off at kohl's right now so uh do you want to link with a player and we can go take a walk through we can do that yeah okay well what if i told you that in parker colorado two men were convicted of felony theft for stealing more than two thousand dollars worth of merchandise from a parker kohl's store and they argued in court for a lesser charge because the items were on sale and they had coupons that this is colorado this is the most like that's a very midwestern name this is such this is such a kohl's

like this is such a kohl's robbery because they're like no we had coupons dude Like this is incredible. You can't charge us for the full price. We have fucking coupons my man Yeah, give me 40 off of my sentence because I had coupons in my pocket It's a valid thing like why are we going msrp if they're not selling it for that if i'm his lawyer I'm leaning into this argument. Hold on now Let's take a beat. This shit was on sale. Not a big deal. Randy, have you spent any time in Parker, Colorado

in the last month or so? I don't think I've ever been in Colorado. Okay. Okay. The two men were dubbed the KitchenAid Mixer Crew because of the high-end KitchenAid appliances that they stole, in addition to the brand name shoes and clothing. That's not really a hard name for the crew.

What's up with the KitchenAid Mixer Crew? KitchenAid Crew with a K isn't too bad, though. KitchenAid Crew, you're right. That's okay. KitchenAid Mixer Crew is kind of nerdy. In Colorado, theft under $2,000 is a misdemeanor offense, but the documented value of the item stolen was $2,094.98, making it a felony. It makes it a big deal.

It's a big difference. Under the 2K threshold, it lessens the sentence or punishment. If you're on the jury here, are you kind of nodding along? Like, I kind of get it. They kind of bring up a good point. Hold on a second. Let me pull my Kohl's app and see if my 40% gets me off of KitchenAid appliances right now. This is not a technicality. This is a real

concern. We'll see here. The district attorney said, just because an item is on sale doesn't mean that it's free to steal. And these defendants now get to think this lesson through a jail and prison. Good counterpoint. Hold on now.

You still have to pay for it. I mean, I am not an attorney, but I would think this would be a pretty easy case to make. You still have to pay for it, dog. It's not 100% off. Yeah, but if you was going to pay for it and you had the coupons, then you just sit there with the coupons.

Randy, these are your people, man. I mean, they're not my people. I play with Kohl's cash. Okay, fair enough. Not my kingdom, Kirk Cousins. And I've seen the kirk cousins cole's chain yes people how many people sent you the kirk cousins cole's necklace no less than 15 no more than 50 but well i'm trying to even see if you can get coupons off for kitchen aid you might not do they might not have a case here oh no your coupons don't like it's like two brand names like yeah levi's and like nike and

all the stuff the coupons usually apply for. So KitchenAid, like my Ninja blender was off, but I don't know about KitchenAid. Not to rain on your Ninja's parade, but yeah, Ninja doesn't have the staying power that KitchenAid does. So I could get free shipping for that, but this offer does not apply to items in your cart.

So yeah, I don't think they got a case here. That's tough. That's tough. That's hard. Well, they all, yeah. And they said the other stuff they stole too is like nice,

like designer shoes and stuff. So it's going to be, this might be a tough road for the, the KitchenAid crew. Yeah. The, the cool Cole's coupons do not get off on that stuff. So sorry,

jail. I'm glad we had boots. Both of you. I'm still, if I was on the jury, if I was on the jury, I think I'm going to, I think I'm going to go with the discount argument though. I think I'm never a felon now, both of you. If I was on the jury, I think I'm going to go with the discount argument, though. I think I'm going to try to help these guys out a little bit.

This is a creative way to get out of a significant amount of jail time, about 90 days and 18 months probation. Well, there's a big difference between being a convicted felon and not being a convicted felon. That's a game changer. It's true. How does it work when you are – if you have 18 months probation for stealing stuff, do you just show up to your probation officer and they're like, did you steal anything this week? No? Okay. I don't know.

Head out. My dad used to be a probation officer way back in the day. Really? I don't really talk to him about it much. We should have him on the pod. Yeah, sure. He would come and hit me for situations just like the one we're talking about right now yeah like we the fact that we have like the cole's guy that could have helped us out with this like we

just kind of we kind of they don't let them listen to this podcast because they are not going to be happy that randy's poking holes in their defense right now and maybe i'm the cole's lawyer now yeah you do need to protect the brand will and i got shooters out here just coming our ops hate us right dude our ops are at an all-time high right now don I got shooters out here. Our ops hate us right now. Dude, our ops are at an all-time high right now. We don't have shooters out here. Yes, we do, dude. People are gunning for us, man.

Yeah, dude. No one's gunning for you. It's hot in the streets right now. The KitchenAid mixer crew is going to come knocking on my door. They're the new Sticky Bandits. Were you guys Sticky Bandits guys or Wet Bandits guys? I was always a Wet Bandit boy. I thought they were the Sticky Wet Bandits. Well, the Wet Bandits were or wet bandits guys? I was always a wet bandit boy. I thought they were the sticky wet bandits.

Well, the wet bandits were in Home Alone 1 because they would plug people's sinks and then turn on the sinks, which was really fucked up. That was fucked up. The sticky bandits, they'd go buy the donation things going into stores and they'd just put their sticky hand in

and take it out. It's bad enough that you're robbing this family around Christmas time that you're going to flood their house? What's wrong with you? Hands down, the worst part of what they were doing i'd much rather get robbed than have my house flooded over the holidays yeah like oh fuck i mean but it is pretty cool to have a signature thing when you commit a bunch of crimes what would yours be

that's a good question let me think about let me think on you like smear boogers against the wall or something on your way out man the booger man uh i i don't think that's what i would choose but i would hope not i mean i'm pretty sorry now with dna evidence i'm sure like yeah i don't want to get into it but yeah you don't have to get into it uh i you know my friend coach bobby who's uh not a fan of dylan's's and Dylan isn't a fan of, he bears a striking resemblance to Marv from Home Alone. And we always just refer to him as a sticky wet bandit. But I did not put together that they're wet bandits in one movie and sticky bandits in the other. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's some nuances to Home Alone, Micah. Have you had any Christmas movies in your rotation this year? No. You're just not – yeah, you're a noted not Christmas guy because you're famously Jewish. Half Jewish, yeah. We had a nice Hanukkah celebration last weekend. I made some short ribs and it was lovely. I had a great time. Are there any good French noir Christmas films? Not that I've been into. I have been listening to a lot of Christmas music recently, though.

Really? Yeah, a big, big promotion of the Nora Jones Christmas album. I don't think she needs that promotion, dude. Well, I'm just telling you. She's got that gas at all times. And she's got two new Christmas songs out with some new artist. Last Christmas. No, no, no, no, we're good. Gave you my heart.

Stop. There's some new musician named Lofi. I guess it rhymes with Rafi, but it's not. It's an Icelandic singer-songwriter, and they have a couple new songs out for Christmas. They're quite good. I love Icelandic holiday music. It's just my thing. Yeah, it's kind of my thing too now.

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can i read you up right now on some of the things in their rotation please do how about some crispy buffalo ranch chicken what if i said some barbecue pineapple pork bowls holy shit yeah yeah tomato and pork sausage linguine. We even got some black bean and pepper jack tostadas. Or let me know if this tickles your fancy, Dylan. Steak frites. Holy shit. Yeah. I'm kind of stuck on that pork bowl you talked about. I know. I actually had the pork bowl recently. Delightful. Right now, get a meal for $1.49 plus one dollar steaks for life by going to everyplate.com slash podcast did you say one dollar steaks for life for life but if you go to everyplate.com slash podcast and enter code 49 steam your subscription must be active to qualify and redeem one dollar

steaks you can get started at every plate for just a dollar 49 per meal plus the one dollar steaks for life by going to everyplate.com slash podcast and entering code STEAM. Subscription must be active to qualify and redeem $1 steak. That's an up to $110 value. Again, go to everyplate.com slash podcast and enter code 49STEAM. Yeah, Mike is signing up right now, baby. That's a live conversion. Wow. No one's doing live conversions like we are. You don't see that anywhere. That's a live conversion. Wow.

No one's doing live conversions like we are. You don't see that anywhere. That's crazy. You guys familiar? This is crazy. Yeah, sign up, Micah. Sign up.

What are you waiting for, bitch? Okay. My first box total just went from $71 to $21. And 48 cents. And 48 cents. Love it. You guys familiar

with the brand Hermes? I thought it was Hermes. I don't know how to 48 cents. Love it. You guys familiar with the brand Hermes? I thought it was Hermes. I don't know how to say it. Hermes. Hermes. Hermes. It's a brand that we largely can't afford in this room. Probably never will.

Yeah. Yeah. I once forgot a tie going to a wedding. And someone offered to let me borrow their tie for the wedding. They brought numerous ties. And they handed me an Hermes tie and I simply handed it back and said, I cannot wear this to this wedding. I will simply ruin it and I can't afford to pay for a new one. I'm going to price out a handbag real quick. Okay. Well, that's their most expensive stuff.

Oh, is it? For the gentleman in the room, let's say if you want an Hermes tie, let's see what you're going to pay here. Let me click onto the website. They are very high quality. I think it's a French brand. They've got several nice silks. But a tie is going to cost you about $240. That's a tie. That's more than your Viennier Vines is going to cost you.

But as you would guess in the Hermes family, they've got some money to deal with here. I think I read that the most recent valuation of Hermes is about $220 billion in terms of the company overall. That's a lot of bills. Yeah. It's called Pusch, I guess. And there's an 80-year-old billionaire named Nicholas Pusch who is involved in this. And he's got a bit of a bag that he is going to let people inherit. But instead of letting his family inherit it, he's giving it all to his gardener. You know,

51, he's a 51 year old and he's going to give about either between 10.3 billion or $11.4 billion to his gardener. Does he have children? I think he dollars to his gardener does he have children i think he i don't know if he has children uh he no he's unmarried without children and he plans to designate his former gardener and handyman from a modest moroccan family as his rightful heir as reported by the swiss publication tribune de genevieve. Can you imagine, can you imagine like working your ass off for all those years? And if you work for this guy, you probably make a good living, right?

He probably treats you quite well. And then one day he's like, by the way, you never have to worry about work ever again. You can buy literally whatever you want. Not only that, but generations to come in your family, they're also also taken care of. You're just a gardener. Well, he's also saying after I die. Right. I guess he's still working until I die.

I'd be like, that's awesome, man. Can I quit? Also, can you break me off like one bill now and then like the rest when you're dead? Yeah. Is that cool? I appreciate what you're doing here. But like, man, my back hurts. Do I have to keep pulling the weeds until you die?

I don't want to root for your death, but that's kind of the position you're putting me in. I'm seeing handbags as inexpensive. This is Hermes, by the way, as like $3,000 or $4,000, upwards of like $100,000 per bag. It's very difficult to acquire some of these handbags. Some of them are extremely plain looking, they're twenty seven thousand five hundred dollars in order to in order to even get on the list of people to even be allowed to purchase one you have to have a very proven history of buying all their old stuff and other things before they even offer you one and when they actually offer you one you don't even get to choose what type it is it's just like here

you can have this one for purchase this one pretty basic basic looking purse yeah 27 grand i mean that's a vehicle yeah that's a ford focus yeah i think mike is a ford focus guy how's the ford focus do they do layaway you think i i haven't owned a ford focus in many years well when you turned it in did it have a bucky sticker on the on the booty of that thing? Or truck nuts? I thought it was a Ford Fiesta. It was not. Well, I mean, it was a Ford.

I don't recall. I don't recall. Okay. Okay. I'll ask a question everyone's wondering. Was he smashing this Gardner? Unmarried, no kids?

Like, were they just low-key smashing at this guy's property? On the low-low? Yeah. And then he's like, you know what? I'm going to give it to my longtime Gardner lover. I think this is a feasible angle at this. No judgment.

No, absolutely. Of course they're not on the low-low anymore. No? Because I don't think you just give it to the Gardner. They had a close relationship, no doubt. How close? Hard to say. Okay.

Dylan, I'm seeing something new on the rundown here do you want to do you want to talk to me yeah i have a a slight ethical dilemma that i want to run by you guys i want to see let's play a little like what would you do situation what would you so i recently acquired some new shoes i even wrote about them i love them i wrote about in the newsletter and watched weekly recently they're nike dunk lows great shoes so i ordered a pair they got stuck in the mail they got stuck like out for delivery in la for some reason for like 20 days maybe that was the traffic on the 405 so i reached out to goat the website where i bought the shoes. I said, hey, my package is stuck. I've already ordered a replacement from a different website. Would you mind just refunding me because this package

is clearly not showing up? They said, let me look into it. Got back to me a day later. He said, we confirmed the packages. It's lost. Here's your money back. My shoes that I, replacement shoes showed up. Great. Been wearing them. Yesterday, the original package showed up. So I have two pairs of shoes, one of them brand new, and I've been refunded for those shoes. So two pairs paid for one. What would you do? Free shoes, player.

Free shoes? Here's the thing. I got backups? Here's the thing. Are they the same color? Same exact shoe? And they're probably my favorite shoes I've purchased in a very long time. I'm going to tell you to keep the shoes. I once ordered a pair of shoes from GOAT.

And I know. I should have just read the return policy. I should have read everything. I didn't read any of it. I was a little buzzed when I bought the shoes, which is why I had the confidence to get the shoes that I got. And they didn't ship for a while because I think they had to get inspected and do the whole thing. But I got a shipping notification right before I was leaving town for a little bit. The shoes arrived and I did not get to open the

shoes for about four days after the shoes had arrived. And when I went to go return them because they didn't fit because I bought them in a women's size, not a men's size, idiot. I saw that the return policy was about three days that I had in order to flip these things around. And being out of town and getting them while I was out of town, that time just went away as I was gone. And I got stuck with a pair of shoes from GOAT. And so I will never buy anything from them ever again, because it was just simply too fast of a time limit for me. So as retribution for your situation, I should keep these free pair of shoes. Okay. And as we had a StockX sponsorship for a little bit.

Like I think if we're going to go with one of those sites, I'm going StockX. That was a great plug that we had. They told us we had like what, $300 to spend on a pair of sneakers? Yeah. I was like, I found the ones I really like for like $100. What do I do with the other $200? I bought a pair of Yeezy Wave Runners while a little buzzed at a Grand X tailgate outside of the UT football game. You did get the Wave Runners.

I was very happy. I've worn them exactly two times. They said they make your feet hot. They're very bulky. And yeah, the tongues are so big. I haven't put them on in a while. I'm mainly hoping that like, I don't know, it's hard to wear Kanye shoes at this point in life. Yeah.

You're still wearing your Yeezums all the time. Yeah. I'll step out in the Yeezums. I don't even care. Micah, you're still wearing your Yeezums all the time. I'll step out in the Yeezums. I don't even care. Micah, you're still wearing your Yeezums all the time, correct? Nope, not me. Yeah, Dylan, here's the thing. Ideally,

you'd find someone to gift those shoes to and give them away as a Christmas gift. But it's not that easy to find somebody that has the same shoe size as you, even though you're. And the same taste. And the same taste.

What size shoe are you? In sneakers, I'm 11 and a half. In a Nike? In a Nike, I'm 11 and a half. That's too big for a player. Yeah. I'm a 10, 10 and a half boy these days. I have a pair of shoes sitting in my closet right now that are a size too big for me.

And I haven't found any. Like, I thought about bringing them today to try and offer them to one of you guys. Like the return window has closed. I got a good deal on them there. Uh, I intentionally bought women's shoes, um, because they were on sale, uh, but it's this Stan Smith's. So they're kind of, I bought the women's was on sale. The men's wasn't. So I bought the women's. The color is like pink. It's it's,

they're pretty dope. Okay. But they, they don't fit me. And so I don't know if somebody would like size. I think they're size 13 women's, which I think is your size. Well,

I don't know. I believe that becomes a 12 men's. I thought it was a difference of two. I used to skateboard. I don't know on Adidas. I just bought a bunch 12 men's. I thought it was a difference of two. I used to skateboard in my teens. I don't know on Adidas. I just bought a bunch more women's shoes, so I'll let you know. Okay. I'm probably just going to wear the ones I'm currently wearing

and I'll just step out with some brand new ones one day. I don't think that's a bad idea. I don't think that's a bad idea either, dude. Are these a valuable pair of sneakers? Are they going to accrue any value since you've purchased them? $115. Okay. That's retail they're not there's no secondary market for these i don't believe okay okay yeah dude fuck the man you know what i might just i might just keep them

sorry to go do it in my name okay this is for will all right thank y'all for making me feel better about it of course oh what's that This weekend in fun presented by our friends over at Naked Wines. Time to get excited, boys. I'll be honest with you. Whenever I go into a wine store, whether it's a supermarket, whether it's a liquor store, whether it's whatever, I feel a little intimidated in the wine aisle. And I always have my tail between my legs a little bit because I don't really know much of what's going on. And it's not a good feeling because I like to be, I like to have,

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One last time, nakedwines.com slash steam, code and password steam for $100 off your first six bottles. Dylan. It's unreal. What are you getting into this weekend? I'm going to start with Thursday night, if that's okay with you. Oh, Thursday night. Yes, Thursday night is the annual Wash Media Christmas dinner.

And we will be at Gar's. Gar's. In the private room decked out in our our best western attire cowboys only dude i can't freaking wait should we bring a sign that says dick saloon and put it up on the door of the the thing maybe we should have we told dave this is cowboy theme no but knowing dave he probably doesn't even need a clue there should probably tell him because i didn't know about that till yesterday we know he has a hat he'll be he'll be ready uh i'm so pumped for that probably step out afterward if i'm you know knowing us we'll go to deep eddy or something

what's the order you know thursday night is their uh prime rib night have you had their primary i've had their prime rib dude fucking good it freaks it's really really good so i will probably go with that do they have a horseradish sauce we can toss on there too? They do. I don't eat my prime rib without horseradish. They do. Friday, it might rain, so my plans could change, but we're going to do Trail of Lights with the parks and with the fam. I know numerous people that have tickets to Trail of Lights on Friday,

and it's just going to rain. Yeah, it's supposed to rain. So we might pivot and do dinner or something. I'm not sure. And then Saturday, I'm going to the Merriman... What's the official name of this party? Merriman Christmas Cocktail Hour. Merriman Christmas Cocktail Hour. What time does that start?

I think it's longer than an hour. Six. Six? It's going to be a sloppy few days. Extra sloppy for you. Are we slopping up the steaks at the party? You know i was born in the slop why wouldn't why wouldn't we stop at the stakes i don't get it and sunday i'll probably just be licking my wounds on sunday i don't know do are we gonna do any are you doing any pants

beers this weekend oh yeah thank you for reminding me at brett's i'm bringing a 30 rack of natty and i will i will be um i will be pants beers in all of them. No one's finishing more beers than me at this party. No one will walk out more sober than me. I don't know, like 18? That's a lot. Yeah. How are you talking so coherently right now? I haven't had a drop of it.

This place is just flooded. They're going to think the wet bandit's rolled by. Yeah. Anyway, it's going to be quite the weekend. Micah, how about you? Wow. Well, I don't to be quite the weekend. Micah, how about you? Wow. Well, I don't have anything that exciting going on. We'll see if I can convince my wife to let me get to carve on Thursday.

Carve. Carve. Good. I guess that's what we're calling it. Carve. So that sounds fun. That sounds great. Friday.

Who craves for the boys? My child is participating in a Christmas parade. They are ringing. The youngest children at her daycare are ringing bells as part of the performance. Thank you. So we'll see if we get there. There is some talk of going to Houston to visit my family for a Chanukah Christmas party. Chris Chanukah, I think is what it's called.

It's just available to all. I feel like we could workshop that branding. Yeah, it looks great. So that is currently the plan is to get to Houston Friday night, go to the party Saturday at noon, come back, watch some fantasy football, watch the pro football for fantasy playoffs, as you guys, I'm sure, are aware. But uneventful. I have some work to do.

We leave town next Tuesday for New York. So a lot of packing, a lot of stuff. Dude, it's fun traveling over the holidays with a kid. Never traveled with a child on an airplane. So we'll see how that goes. How old's the baby? Six and a half months. Okay. Okay.

Okay. I got some, we got some tips for you. We can forward your way. Okay. Not saying they're foolproof, but yeah. My weekend's pretty straightforward.

That watch media holiday party can hit different. I'm pretty pumped up this year. A lot of people were worried that I was going to be on my pescatarian grind when we went to the steakhouse. That just simply isn't it. Do they have seafood at Carve? They do.

I know they have salmon, but that doesn't really count. It's not their specialty, obviously. I bet it goes crazy, though. They do offer a Pesco. Yeah. So we're going to be ordering their most expensive $45 bottles of wine, hitting that minimum. I don't think we're going to have as much trouble as you think. Okay.

Well, not if Mike is there. We're going to be just fine. That's true. Everyone's getting a prime rib. We're getting carafts of wine. Carafe is. And so, yeah, we're doing a coffee Friday in the studio on Friday, which means that we're going to be in here feeling a little dusty.

That's going to start at 11 a.m. Central Time, not Central Standard Time. Live. It is Central Standard Time. Oh, Central Standard Time. We will be broadcasting this live from YouTube for the first time ever. Do we decide if it was a simulcast? Do we know what that is?

It'll only be on YouTube. Okay, it'll only be on YouTube. So go check that out. Go subscribe at youtube.com slash circling back. I'm intentionally clearing the sketch on Friday night. Don't want to do anything. Let me sit at my place. Let me vibe with the boys. Let me just hang out. So I'm not clearing the sketch on Friday night. Don't want to do anything. Let me sit at my place. Let me vibe with the boys.

Let me just hang out. So I'm not doing anything. Saturday, not really sure. Got a third birthday party I'm hitting, so you know that's going to get litty. And Sunday, I'm going to sit down on the couch that morning. I'm going to watch a terrible Manchester United team go to Liverpool and get absolutely crushed. And probably going to go have a power lunch after that in order to forget what's going on in the world of my favorite team.

So we'll see how everything goes. Can we talk about your order at Carve real quick? I've been to Carve or however you guys are pronouncing this several times. Guys, just try it. I've never been lucky enough to get the Carve. Is it a pirate-themed thing? Carve, newest, hottest place in Austin, Texas. The name of it is so swanky sounding. They have the Carve board for four.

There it is. a smoked New York strip, a prime rib, a Chateaubriand, hog heavens, shrimp broquettes. Buddy, we've had it. Okay. Do you guys just order a whole table full of these boards? We did this one time

and we ate so little of it that the waitress ended up bringing home pounds of meat. You left the leftovers to the waitress? She asked us. She asked us for it. She was like, you guys haven't really touched this entire pounds of meat. You left the leftovers to the waitress? She asked us. She asked us for it. She was like, you guys haven't really touched this entire side of this.

Would you mind, like if you're not going to box, because we didn't want to box it up because we were going to go to a bar after and you can't be the guys walking in with a bunch of takeout. We gave her legitimately $120 worth of steak. Yeah, she had it all.

Wow. And I took half of the sides and left them at the bar, so. What's your problem, dude? I've never got. I've never had a waiter or a wait person ask me if I can take your leftovers. She was quite forward.

I kind of appreciate it. She swung back around and said, you mentioned you wanted the leftovers. Were you serious about that? She goes, I will absolutely take them from you. So we boxed them up and I set it on the seat. So not to make it look super obvious. It's not like, here you go. So. So not to make it look like super obvious.

Yeah, it's not like, here you go. Yeah, so her manager doesn't see it. She appreciated it. As a former waiter, there was one time that I ate food from a customer. I got a grilled cheese for a kid with French fries. The kid did not want to eat it at all. And I was broke and hungry. And I was like, you know what?

I'm eating this grilled cheese. Fuck yeah. I'm going to eat. Sometimes you got to eat a grilled cheese, man. The squad didn't want me to, but I did. I didn't give a fuck. I mean, this grilled cheese. Fuck yeah. I'm going to eat. Sometimes you got to eat a grilled cheese, man. The squad didn't want me to, but I did. I didn't give a fuck. I mean, I hate this. I think uneaten food gets eaten in the back of every restaurant.

Waiters eat that. And that's okay. I'm not judging anybody. I've just never heard of someone up front just be like, can you box that up for me to take home? I think we also mentioned to her that we were about to go to a bar. Therefore, it didn't allow for us to take it with us. That's good.

I'm sure you guys were doing bits, having fun. She was a good waiter. We were having fun. Yeah, the table next to us absolutely fucking hated us. That's why you get a private room. It's fun being the most hated people in the restaurant. Yeah. You know, they do the custom cut steaks, and you have to get a minimum of 14 ounces.

Could you just be like, I want a 39-ounce steak? Let's do it. We could. I want 48 ounces of New York stripounce steak? Let's do it. We could. I want 48 ounces of New York strip, please. Let's see what they can do. We've got to hit the minimum. I can't wait to not only

hit the minimum, but just absolutely hit a maximum there. They're like, we can't charge your card this much. You guys ordered way too much food. There's only so many ounces on this New York strip.

I've never done this before, but we can't charge this much. Still no T-bone on the menu? This is too much for one transaction. Can we get a list of the sides? I feel like I'm on a different wave than the boys when it comes to ordering sides.

You should just order lobster tail as a side. The chef's whipped potatoes. I'm not even sure it's on the menu. Oh, it's got like all... It's actually called chefy whipped potatoes. Chefy whipped potatoes.

Read us that. Give us a sexy reading. It's very over the top. We whip in your favorites, bacon, scallions, capers, purple onions, and sharp cheddar cheese. It's freaking good. Who calls them purple onions? They're called red onions, right? Yeah, they are purple, but they're definitely called red onions. Yeah. Those potatoes are too much for me. I'm just going to say it. They're good. It's too much.

I want like two bites. But then you sit here with all of this and you're good, Micah. It's too much. I want like two bites. They're rich, but they're good. But then you sit here with all of this and you're like, do I take this home? I don't know. There's nothing more defeating than leaving your to-go box at the restaurant when you're saying goodbye to everybody and you're heading out. Have you ever left one in an Uber? No. Devastating. Devastating stuff. Well, Micah, thank you so much for joining us today.

This has been an absolute pleasure. Man, it really has been. It has always been. Do you have any closing thoughts that you'd like to pass on to the backers? You know, the only thing I'll say is many people watching on YouTube are probably asking, what is that hat you're wearing? And it is a

LeasePoint Funding Group hat, which is the company that employs me. If you or anyone you know is looking to buy some equipment for your business before the end of the year, I'd love to help you. Any equipment? Any kind of equipment. If you have an LLC and any kind of equipment the end of the year, I'd love to help you. Any equipment? Any kind of equipment. If you have an LLC and any kind of equipment, most of the business we do

is in the medical and aesthetic space. So if there are any device reps out there trying to get some deals closed before the end of the year, let's go michaelweiner.com. We buy like an x-ray machine or something? Sure, yeah. We can finance that.

Make fun for content. If you guys are doing like aesthetic stuff, do you guys have like Instagram filters you can send my way? We could finance that for you, Will. I'm actually looking for a margarita machine. Can you find something for me? Do you have an LLC, Randy? I guess Dave could get you set up with one.

By any chance, does the neighbor who sells these things to your neighborhood, does he have a truck that says no fat bitches on the back? Because we have someone in town who's been driving around kind of scooping up trash from people's places. No. He does not say no fat bitches. I just wanted to confirm that. Micah, we love you. It's been a lot of fun and I hope to see

you guys Thursday night. Yes. See you guys. Bye. I'll see you next time.