Circling Back - Subway's Tuna & Bar Reviews: Houston

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

Bar Reviews makes a comeback as Dave tackles the Houston bar scene, Subway is getting exposed by The New York Times for not having “real” tuna, Netflix’s new Sexy Beasts dating show, This Weeken...d in Fun, and Brett’s Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:30) Subway’s “Tuna” (32:40) Bad Bar Reviews: Houston (1:02:55) Sexy Beasts on Netflix (1:11:12) This Weekend in Fun (1:18:55) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (free one-month trial) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 4-week trial, free postage, and digital scale) Everlane: www.everlane.com/steam (10% off first order + free shipping) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, we're back. Circling Back podcast presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFries to my right, David Ruff. All right, Will. presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfood acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my right, David Ruff. All right, Will. You're in the hot seat.
Starting point is 00:00:33 You're the GM of the Detroit Pistons. You have the first pick. Who are you taking, Will DeFreeze? I think I'm taking either Giannis or LeBron. Ooh, but LeBron's getting up there, man. Yeah, I know. There's levels to it. Dude, maybe know, but there's levels to it. Maybe KD.
Starting point is 00:00:49 He's been sick lately. Yeah, KD's been pretty tight lately. He's got the Delta strain. He's my tiny arm king as well. Noted tiny arm king. What was he doing? What was Dylan doing that caught your attention? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:04 During the intro, Dylan just started either laughing or saying something, and it rattled me because it was like, dude. It wasn't a laugh. I was thinking Kelly still got it. Kapowski? As in Kapowski. Funny you mentioned that. Remember on Monday when I mentioned that I was watching a television show with my niece, and it was about
Starting point is 00:01:19 people with cancer or something? Uh-huh. Okay. It's a heavy show for kids. But the mother in that show is Tiffany Amber Thiessen. Or Tiffany Thiessen if she goes by now. So yeah,
Starting point is 00:01:30 you brought up the Dan Orlovsky tweet. He said, Team Say By The Bell or Team 90210, which is a dumb debate, really. But,
Starting point is 00:01:38 it's not a debate at all, actually. I'm looking at their responses and there's just a recent gif of Kap kapowski and she looks fantastic you know what's funny if you uh go to my parents desktop computer there's probably a jpeg from 1996 still trying to load that i started downloading yeah like her uh her see-through people forget she she showed lingerie i feel like dan orlovsky should be asking the question, saved by the bell, or 90210 and 16. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Wow, he did it. Wait, wait, was he the starter? He definitely didn't start every game that season, but that was the season where he ran out of the back of the end zone in green in Minnesota. Wait, he wasn't like a high draft. He was like fourth or fifth round pick. Like he wasn't supposed to be the guy.
Starting point is 00:02:27 No, no. They just threw him in there? We had an injury. I think Stafford got injured, and I think Kitna played a little bit that season as well. Dude, no. Gosh. Kitna, don't know if the numbers back this up,
Starting point is 00:02:36 but he's my favorite backup of all time. He's goaded. I sat in front of the computer for all five hours of those images loading. Just edging the entire time? Yeah, you could see the top of some areola at one point. Areolia. Areolia. Areola.
Starting point is 00:02:52 I was like, oh, here it comes. Here it comes. I don't know that I like that that word's being said on this pod. Yeah, it's a little too early. I'm sorry. First three minutes dropping an areola is a lot, Dylan. Please skip the areola talk. I guess they already heard it.
Starting point is 00:03:02 You have to bury that. I'm sorry. If you're going to get this age, you have to wait until it's not this early. How's Dylan doing today? Dilly dog. I mean, I'm doing really well, man, honestly. Thanks for asking. Are we having a Dilly Day Mayo party next May?
Starting point is 00:03:17 Dude, WWDD, what would Dilly do? Dilly. Dilly. Yeah. Does anybody in your life actually say that to you um so bae will occasionally call me dilly like as a fun though she wants to be a little flirty she'll call me dilly and little bae sometimes will also call me dilly because she hears her mom doing it i little bae will never yeah i don't like it'll never not shock me when you say it it's a little bae it'll never not shock me so you say it. It's Lil' Bay. It'll never not shock me. So you got Bay and then Lil' Bay.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Do you like dill pickles or sweet pickles? Or we could say Wee Bay. Dave gets it. Very... Will probably doesn't. Very sick wire reference. We could do Sina Wee Bow. We could do Sina Wee Bow.
Starting point is 00:03:59 What was your... Damn, don't bring up the wire because then I just want to ask you questions. I know, I know. I asked you a question that you're not answering. Are you a dill pickle guy or dilly pickles, as you could call them, or are you a sweet pickle guy? I'm a sweet relish guy on my glizzy. I didn't ask about relish because relish is trash.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Every other scenario that involves pickles, I'm a dill guy. Man, I've been eating pickles from the Olive Bar at Central Market lately. Are you familiar with the Olive Bar? Dude, that's so sick. It's so sick. But they were out of the pickles that I liked the other day. And so we had to do a little game time decision. And we got some Grillo's pickles.
Starting point is 00:04:34 You ever had these things? No. Oh, my word. They're amazing. They're not the best pickle out there for my money. But it's a good change of pace pickle if you're looking for one. Yeah. We had a dill pickle segment on the brunch video I did with them.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Yeah. Did you listen to it? Yeah, I watched the entire video. Thank you. It's on patreon.com slash listen to brunch. On your burger or your sandwich, what's your pickle of choice? Like, how is it cut? There's only one way to cut it.
Starting point is 00:05:02 It's not true. The ones that are cut the long way, that's just weird. No, it's not. That's what's just weird. No, it's not. That's what we settled on. No, it's got to be the chips. Dude, those are kind of sick. How do you take your fried pickles? Chips or spears?
Starting point is 00:05:12 Chips. Because you get more batter that way, obviously. Hey, ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba. I don't really care for fried pickles. Fried pickles are a little overrated, but if they're done well in chip form, that's how I do it. I will say my dad does some spear fried, but if they're done well in chip form, that's how I do it. I will say my dad does some spear fried pickles, and they're goated. Real talk?
Starting point is 00:05:32 Big Ross knows how to make a fried pickle, that's for sure. Interesting. But I find a lot of restaurants, it's either too cold on the inside because of the pickle, or it's scorching hot, it's going to burn your mouth. And the batter falls off. Sometimes it makes the pickle a little bit more mushy and not as crisp. In Hooters, that's Dylan's go-to. They've got to know what they're doing.
Starting point is 00:05:50 They do the chip style, I believe. Chip style. Can you confirm? Do you want to hear my impression of Lieutenant Daniels? Lieutenant Dan? Baltimore PD. God damn it, McNulty. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:06:03 That's pretty good. Thank you. I don't know if he's a lieutenant, but I know what you're doing. Can you do your Lieutenant Dan impression? I've been wanting to do that for like six years. I can do Forrest talking to Lieutenant Dan. Lieutenant Dan. See, this is too far. Dude, you killed that.
Starting point is 00:06:17 What happened to your legs? Dude, you nailed that. Why is that funny? I was kind of amazed. Do we know how they made his legs look so realistically not there in that movie? Yeah, he's CGI. CGI, idiot. Yeah, but dude, that was early CGI.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Yeah, they knew what they were doing. No, they used GDI. Really? Yeah, they got some G. That's where you don't shorten the legs. You shorten the inseam of the shorts that he's wearing. No, I think they just tucked them under. No, they just put cargos on you.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I think they tucked them under. I know, but there's a scene where he's crawling, and it's amazing. Let's get think they just tucked him under. No, they just put cargos on you. I think they tucked him under. I know, but there's like a scene where he's like crawling, and it's like amazing. Let's get T-Mill in here. You're saying they utilized the tuck method? Yes. I don't know how they do that, man. You don't know how you tuck?
Starting point is 00:06:54 You've never tucked? No, I know. I know the tuck. I'm very familiar with the tuck method, David. Sometimes I don't know, because you just walk around just all untucked. We're talking boners. You're the original untuck it. Former sponsor alert.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Previous sponsor that might be back in the future alert. I still have one of their jackets. I actually enjoy it. You shacked up with them? Yeah, it's less of a shack. It's more of a jacket than a shirt jacket. I'll say that. They called it a shacket, but it's more of a jacket.
Starting point is 00:07:24 She goes jack it off like take off your pants and shack it guys i have an announcement i've officially put on dad weight i stepped on a scale yesterday how'd that go i am officially a 160 pounder but how much of that is your welcome good weight or my oh my dad you're my what your dad thing my dad brain dad hang down because he got significantly bigger yeah that's a great question dylan i don't know i didn't weigh it i didn't have a is it heavy i didn't toss it on the scale yet so you guys didn't wish for it's a two month uh you know happy two month birthday the other day oh but he is two months old now and i can't confirm that since he's been born i've put can confirm that since he's been born, I've put on seven pounds.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Since he's been born. Seven. Yeah, and it's really not going in the right direction. You put on seven pounds? Yes, Dave. You don't look like it. Thank you. Is that why you're wearing all black?
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yeah, trying to slim down. That's the thing. You're up to 160, but what are you up for? You're weight privileged, though. I am. That's fair. I acknowledge that that's not like – for me, though, that's a lot. I normally walk – I walk around at like probably 154, 155. What's your fighting weight, though?
Starting point is 00:08:31 No, so I normally cut down to about 146. It's a pretty easy cut for me. Now, getting down to like 135, that's tough. Right. But doesn't that sound fun? Like just fighting like a like a five six like 135 pounders like dude i i'm not losing that fight he's not gonna knock me out no yeah he might humiliate me right like just with repeated punches and some jiu-jitsu but i'm not like getting
Starting point is 00:08:57 embarrassed what if you get inside him though yeah i don't know that's a different fight i have some breaking news. Oh, shit. I'm officially going to the 2022 PGA Championship as of two minutes ago. Is this like Dylan's master's announcement? Is it really in Oklahoma? It's in Tulsa. New Southern Hills.
Starting point is 00:09:15 I can confirm I will not be smoking any joints there because they roll them all wrong. I don't go to that state. Everybody knows that. Never been. Don't need to go. What's ever going to bring you there? Dude, the championship of the PGA. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:09:29 It's weird to have the PGA championship so early in the year. How do you not just put that at the end of the year? It's called the PGA championship. What if they had the NBA finals in, like, the beginning of the season, like November or some shit? It's the major that no one cares about. True. Some people care.
Starting point is 00:09:42 At least I'm going to it. Yeah. I care. Some people care. Can we get some programming notes out of the way? We have a major that no one cares about. True. Some people care. At least I'm going to it. Yeah. I care. Some people care. Can we get some programming notes out of the way? We have a major announcement. A major announcement alert. We have a major announcement alert.
Starting point is 00:09:52 If you go on iTunes right now, or Apple Podcasts, if you go on the podcast app within your phone and you search Washed Media, we have a page now on Apple Podcasts. You can't find all the shows there because you have to go through the process of getting it there. But you can see everything there that you need to see right now. There's no curtain. We ripped it down. Just go mash that subscribe button on every show on the Washington Post.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Imagine subscribing to a whole network. That's sick. Dude, other people have pages like this, too. Like CNN has one. Like, oh, wow, cool. Washington Post. They beat us to it? Yeah, they might have beat us to it.
Starting point is 00:10:22 They're, like, getting featured by Apple. What about The Ringer? You've got to think The Ringer has one. I think podcast networks should build their own fucking audiences. He's doing Bill Simmons. I like Bill Simmons a lot. I've been listening to a lot of Bill Simmons. Go follow Circling Backpot and Watch Media on the Grom.
Starting point is 00:10:39 And the TikTok. And the Twitter. You were pressing that way too hard. You're going to ruin the button. Calm down. You can also leave a review and five-star rating. I've been reading some reviews early on in the week on Mondays. If you want to leave a review and get it right on the podcast,
Starting point is 00:10:54 I would suggest you do that right now. We'll take all your reviews. YouTube.com slash Wash Media. See every podcast in video form right there. Head over to WashMedia.shop for all the cool digs that you want to toss on. And also Patreon. We're recapping every Bachelorette episode every single Tuesday. We're also doing Friday voicemails every single Thursday.
Starting point is 00:11:15 No one's doing this. Yeah, you don't see that anywhere. Do you guys mind if we make a little space for our heads right now? Wouldn't it be great if there were a pocket-sized guide that helped you sleep, focus, act, or just be better? Well, I got news for you guys. There is. And if you have 10 minutes, Headspace can change your life. Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations and an easy-to-use app.
Starting point is 00:11:38 It's one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research. So whatever the situation, Headspace can really help you feel better. If you're overwhelmed, they even have a three-minute SOS meditation for you. That's the one I really rock with. I'm time crunched. SOS, please someone help me. I'll tell you about the time I was doing Headspace by the pool at Lifetime, and I dozed off while doing it because I was so just relaxed and my head
Starting point is 00:12:06 was clear and I just like crashed. We got full Zen Dorne. How sick is that? That's beautiful. This is after a workout. Like I had a pump going too. I should not have been tired in that moment, but I was. Well, it probably reduced your stress.
Starting point is 00:12:17 It can help improve your sleep, boost your focus. It can even increase your overall sense of well-being. Yeah. You guys don't, I mean, you guys might not know this about me. I'm a big meditation boy. Yeah. Been cycling in a lot lately. You can do it for as little as five minutes or as little as three minutes in the SOS ones.
Starting point is 00:12:34 And that's enough to get you through the day. It's a nice little reset button. If you want to go out to your car during your lunch break. That's a good idea. If you're like me and you like to eat lunch in your car instead of with your coworkers in your frat blog office. I hate that you like to do that still. It's still – I just – food does not belong in cars. Headspace is backed by over 25 published studies on its benefits, 600,000 five-star reviews, and over 60 million downloads.
Starting point is 00:12:58 That's a lot of downloads. Many downloads. If every podcast we did did 60 million, we'd probably be very rich right now. That'd be so sick. If every podcast we did did 60 million, we'd probably be very rich right now. That'd be so sick. Headspace makes it easier for you to build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you on your schedule anytime, anywhere. You deserve to feel happier, and Headspace is meditation made simple. Go to headspace.com slash circling.
Starting point is 00:13:17 That's headspace.com slash circling for a free one-month trial with access to Headspace's full library of meditations for every situation. This is the best deal offered right now. So head over to headspace.com slash circling today. Hey, Will, in that read, I should be applauded for not laughing because you said you were talking about the pocket-sized guide. And in my head, I just started thinking about what if it was a pocket-sized guy? It's a little British man. And he's just in your pocket.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Oh, hello. Come to meditate. You are here for your guy? It's a little British man. And he's just in your pocket. Oh, hello. Come to meditate. You are here for your meditation. Let's get the mind right. It's a bloody crazy. Hey, we have a special guest in the studio today. Who is it? It's an artist.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Not an oil painter. Michelangelo. Not a sculptor. But a sandwich artist. Raphael.el Wow we do Mr. David Carter Ruff Okay I didn't know I was here in the capacity
Starting point is 00:14:12 As a subway sandwich artist That's why we invited you in today I'm on here like I do most of the pods Sure Most? What's up with this tuna dog? Most of the pods yes
Starting point is 00:14:22 Dude this tuna What are you talking about? It's just setting people off right now I'm unfamiliar with this tuna dog? I'm most opposed, yes. Dude, this tuna is just setting people off right now. What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. I'm more than familiar with this story. Well, the New York Times did a massive expose on how the tuna from Subway is not actually tuna. I know nothing about this at all. I can't speak to it. You're such a company man.
Starting point is 00:14:41 A lawsuit against America's largest sandwich chain, Subway, has raised questions about America's most popular canned fish. We tried to answer, is Subway selling tuna? The New York Post, they wrote up the write-up from the New York Times, and their first sentence, I would have edited this had I been behind the editing. No, this is vintage New York Post. Something is fishy about Subway's tuna, in quotes, sandwich. They left out spring is sprung.
Starting point is 00:15:10 But you can't say something's fishy about it because, like, it's not fishy, actually. You get it? Well, it's a mystery fish, allegedly. I have no comment on this, and I know you guys expected more out of me for this segment, but I can't really speak to it. I haven't seen the study. I don't really know. Should they have started the article by saying,
Starting point is 00:15:26 we've all been there eating tuna at Subway? Have either of you ever had the tuna from Subway? Absolutely not. You know, that's not something I can really speak to. Stop. You're not employed by them anymore. This is the worst cameo ever. Did you sign an NDA or something?
Starting point is 00:15:46 No, I'm not in the NBA. I don't even play basketball. I mean, is anyone surprised that the tuna from Subway might not actually be real tuna? Yes, because how do they claim it's tuna if it's not tuna?
Starting point is 00:16:01 The imitation crab meat is called imitation because it's not actually crab. Yeah, but the chicken nuggets from McDonald's are called chicken nuggets, and everyone has seen that photo of that, like, pink paste that is allegedly. But it is actually chicken. I love chicken. They just liquefy it, basically. It never ceases to amaze me how much that kid sounds like a mini Klein.
Starting point is 00:16:22 Chicken. Wow. A lot of fried chicken. Some asshole for the New York Times was so horned for this information that he decided to say... Horny asshole. He decided to go to three different locations in Los Angeles and then send frozen samples to an unidentified commercial food testing lab
Starting point is 00:16:37 after two California women filed a class action lawsuit against the company in January alleging that Subway's tuna sandwiches aren't actually made of fish. So you're like an investigative journalist and you finally got your story. Like you think you're going to be reporting on like the Pentagon Papers or like Watergate. No, you're doing the tuna from Subway. That's your big story and contribution to journalism.
Starting point is 00:17:02 You know, I'll say this, not me personally, because I can't speak to that. Someone I know who was a sandwich artist at a subway in dallas county the guys that he worked with and this person allegedly they joked about what was in the tuna quotes tuna there was a joke going around like what we don't even know what this is like what is this what's this on the packaging like we don't know allegedly is what he said third party information if i were gonna hear if I were going to ask a third party about the tuna salad itself, not the actual tuna, but the tuna salad, is that tuna salad made in-house? Is the mayonnaise and salt and pepper and other ingredients within the tuna salad put together in-house, or is that in a vacuum-sealed bag that is then opened up and unthawed?
Starting point is 00:17:46 I can't speak from, I can't really speak to my personal experience, but from what I've understand, just based on like research I've done, the tuna comes in its own bag and you mix it up. You make it there with the mayonnaise and whatever else is in tuna. Wait, really? At least allegedly that's what was done in 2000, 2001. I think I need Dylan to put a little more respect on these sandwich artist names. I just don't.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Never mind. That's going to sound mean. I'm not going to say it that way. Hard to believe. But your sources seem to be accurate. Well. Trustworthy. I'm very connected in the sandwich artist circles.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Interesting. More than a month after the samples were submitted, the lab results read, quote, no amplifiable tuna DNA was present in the sample. And so we obtained no application products from the DNA. I don't know what that means. Yeah, what does that mean? But it doesn't sound great. They said, therefore, we cannot identify the species.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Well, to be fair, Subway has responded through a spokesperson that says DNA testing is unreliable for identifying processed tuna. And I think we can all understand that, right? It's simply not a reliable way to identify denatured proteins. I've always said that. Like Subway's tuna, which was cooked before it was tested. What type of proteins? Denatureatured that's what they used to call dylan denature because he's an outdoors what would cooking it due to the reach i know due to the the dna like what i don't get it are you familiar with dna do you know what that is
Starting point is 00:19:20 no he's more of a tna guy. Can you tell me what DNA stands for? Probably not. I don't really speak to that. I'm more of like to the facts of the story here. It's so heavily processed that whatever we could pull out, we couldn't make an identification. That's what the other people said. I'm not eating tuna right now because I'm like low-key worried about my mercury levels.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Shut up. You're the oldest person to be making references to Real Bros of Simi Valley. Is that true yes no one older than you has ever done that before that's so fun remember that time i ate so many shrimp i got iodine poisoning no i don't remember that hey my favorite thing about new york post is um they have a moron tuna thing that pops up to give you if you want more tuna stories yes and i'm gonna go ahead and read these if you want to click these links i saw this and i started laughing it smells fishy subways tuna is missing a key ingredient suit claims okay x bumblebee ceo gets three years for fishy pricing scheme finally this is a story we should do japanese sushi magnet spends 1.8 million on huge tuna.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Like the one that Will ate at the sushi place. That was the worst event I've ever been to. Catch me not going there. I've never seen so many vultures at that event. When they busted out some tuna, the people were just losing their minds, just like sprinting at it trying to get some. Did it taste dope? It was fine, but it was also just like,
Starting point is 00:20:46 it was too many people, man. Pre-COVID times were just loco. A whole bunch of people eating off one dead fish. It was just weird. Okay, buried at the end of this article. At the very end? Yeah. Explain how they make it. Inside Edition did its own test in February
Starting point is 00:20:59 that yielded different results. Inside Edition tasked a lab in Florida with testing tuna samples from three locations in New York, that test confirmed that tuna was in the sandwiches. Okay. That seems a little unfair to our friends at Subway. I wanted to look more into the Japanese sushi magnate. Magnate?
Starting point is 00:21:21 Kiyoshi Kimura. He's self-described the tuna king. Really? I thought that was somebody else. Who? He bought a 608 pound bluefin tuna at Tokyo's Toyosu fish market.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Why is a 608 pound tuna worth 1.8 million dollars? I don't know. That's 193 million yen. What do you do with 1.8 million dollars i don't know that's 193 million yen what do you do with 1.8 million dollars worth of tuna you probably just eat it right what do you buy the man who has everything you buy him a 600 pound tuna correct i didn't even know magnets could like do like yeah purchase things yeah is that what they did did to clear the laptop? They pulled up with the 600-pound tuna and... Okay. What the hell are you trying to say, man?
Starting point is 00:22:13 Is Dave high right now? They pulled up next to the police department in their rented truck, and they threw the tuna against the wall, and the smell was so bad it cleared the laptop. You have to think that's exactly what they did. That was in the director's cut. Have you even seen Breaking Bad, dude? Why are those big tunas so expensive, man?
Starting point is 00:22:36 If you were to break it down by the ounce, what does it cost per ounce or per pound? Well, dude, he did win a Super Bowl with the Giants. 1.8 million. 608 pounds? Too Much Dip podcast for more of those jokes. Like, what's so special about that meat, you know? So that would equate to about $300,000 per pound. That's not right.
Starting point is 00:22:59 No, no, it's 600. I thought it was 608 pounds. That's what I meant to do. I'm an idiot. Come on, dog. That was just dumb. It's about $3,000 a pound. Sheesh.
Starting point is 00:23:10 So how much is that per ounce? How many ounces are in a pound? 16. At least 40. 16. I don't get it, man. I like how the New York Times in their tweet said, we procured more than 60 inches worth of Subway's tuna sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:23:24 It's like they had their social team sitting behind a laptop being like, all right, what's the creepiest way we can craft this? Just make the, hey, can you make the tweet a little bit more difficult to decipher? Dave, how did y'all bake those six footers? That is something I can't really speak to. I need to know how you bake those loaves of bread. Okay. So in the floor built into
Starting point is 00:23:45 every subway, built into the foundation, there's a little foot button, and you tap it. A six-foot oven pops up, and you put the bread making materials, the starter, the sourdough starter in there. Did y'all just run it through the grill thing?
Starting point is 00:24:01 The little toaster? Over and over again? Again, I can't really speak to that. I need to know, Will. You gotta stop asking questions to him, dude. He clearly signed an NDA at Subway. He didn't, though. Does everybody remember how my Subway career ended?
Starting point is 00:24:17 I know that it was not necessarily the best ending. You might have burned that bridge. It was me walking in to check the schedule when I wasn't actually, like, I was just going to see when I worked that week because that's how we did it in 2000, 2001, whenever it was. And the boss, the manager, she goes, what are you doing here? And I was like, I'm checking the schedule. And she goes, you ain't on it.
Starting point is 00:24:44 And that's when I knew I had been let go from Subway. No one officially told you? You ain't on it. What'd you do? She was something else. What'd you do wrong? I'm really sorry. Shout out to Jimmy and Anita.
Starting point is 00:24:55 Were you like stealing meatballs, taking them home with you or something? No, I think I was just a – and this is their fault. They hired a bunch of high school kids to make sandwiches and close down the shop, and we were just drinking Coronas in the fridge. Man, I used to get a foot-long bowl with a sugar cookie on the reg. It sounds like to me Anita might need a little HR lesson, if you know what I'm saying. Are we doing a read? This guy.
Starting point is 00:25:21 No. Oh, I thought we had a new sponsor. We had an HR service. Yeah, we can just do one. I think I'm going to get some Subway tuna this weekend. I think you can do a lot better than that. I mean, I know you don't want to stoop to Jimmy John's level, but. I'm so sick.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I just don't know what to do. My buddies from home are 90% Jimmy John's fans over Jersey Mike's, and I just don't know what to do about this. Have they tried Jersey Mike's? That's the thing. I don't think most of them have, and I think that now they're just clinging to their take, trying to be right, and it pains me.
Starting point is 00:26:04 People get stuck in their ways, man. I don't know anything about that. They don't like to experience new things or be open to changing their mind about things. That's like you with a lot of things. Because there's no way if there's a Jimmy John's sandwich and a Jersey Mike sitting next to each other and you try each at the same time, there's no way you're picking Jimmy John's because it is trash. You know there's a lawsuit Jersey Mike's is in right now, alleging that Mike isn't even from Jersey. Really?
Starting point is 00:26:27 Saying he's from like Hartford or something. That'd be fucked up. What's Mike's last name? Do it. Do the thing. He's trying to make you think. He's part of the Hunt family. Is that true?
Starting point is 00:26:44 He's an oil baron as well uh no that's actually i don't think jersey mikes is involved in any litigation at this time that i can speak to personally is jimmy john's name actually like james john is that like an actual person's name that's the the found randy's nodding yes his former boss was named james john is that his john his last name james john is not. No one does James John. Yeah, you don't see that anywhere. That guy is like a scorned business partner of Daniel Plainview.
Starting point is 00:27:13 James John? James John. This is my sandwich partner, James John. I deliver your sandwich. His name might not even be James John. It might just be straight up Jimmy John. Has anybody done a Jimmy John, J-A-W-N joke? Randy wants to talk so badly right now.
Starting point is 00:27:32 He should be talking right now. Well, he had his chance Monday, and people were wondering. Sheesh. Sheesh. Sheesh. Sheesh. Sheesh. Listen to Monday's episode.
Starting point is 00:27:46 So is it tuna or is it not tuna? It's not tuna. What's the deal? What would it be? I think it is tuna. What would be the most disturbing sea creature that was in said sandwich that would make you very grossed out that you'd ever had one? Grossed out? Yeah, you'd be like, I can't believe I ate that.
Starting point is 00:28:01 I'm not going to lie. There's not much that would gross me out to the point where I'd be like this. You'll eat anything under the sea. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't know, man. I don't know. Anything farm-raised, it's like they eat their own stuff.
Starting point is 00:28:16 It's gross. You know? Wow, Dylan doesn't do farm-raised. Ooh, wow. I'll do farm-raised, but if you think about it, if you think about their living conditions, it's pretty disgusting. To be clear, two-thirds of this pod, Will and I, we actually support America's farmers.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Okay, well, farm raised fish, they're in a big tank. Just in some guy's living room? They just shit in it nonstop. They do that in the ocean, too? I asked Sally for a shark tank. People be doo-dooing in the ocean. I've doo-dooed in the ocean before. Have you really? I asked Sally for a shark tank for Father's doo-dooing in the ocean. I've doo-dooed in the ocean before. Have you really?
Starting point is 00:28:45 I asked Sally for a shark tank for Father's Day, and she didn't get one for me. I wanted a big aquarium at our place. You wanted a shark tank. Oh, dude, no. You're going to find out. You're actually going on shark tank. I get to go to a live taping of shark tank. No, no.
Starting point is 00:28:55 You're pitching Washed Media. Oh, great. That'll go well. It's just you, though. They're going to be like, so what's your podcast about? And then I'm going to do what I always do. And I'm like, well, it's kind of hard to describe. I love what you guys are doing, but I'm just not interested. For that And then I'm going to do what I always do. And I'm like, well, it's kind of hard to describe. I love what you guys are doing,
Starting point is 00:29:06 but I'm just not interested for that reason. I'm out. I'm like playing Barbara Corcoran versus she's like, she's like, I don't listen to podcasts, but I believe in you. I like your story. I don't know if you're a good partner for me then.
Starting point is 00:29:19 She's always, yeah, no, I don't like your product, but I believe in you. I'm going to invest in your company. It's like, okay,
Starting point is 00:29:24 I don't really know if I want that. If you don't believe in my product, why are you investing, Barbara? What if it was cubes? What if the cubes was asking? Not Q and R. Okay. Like a Q drop is just bidding on the company? How does that work?
Starting point is 00:29:40 Should we pivot? Mark Cubon? Is that the joke? Are you saying that the owner of the Dallas Mavericks could be Q? Maybe. Interesting. Just putting it out there. Can we talk about FitBod real quick, maybe?
Starting point is 00:29:56 Please. That you'd never ask. I just get tired of doing the same exercises, guys. It wears on me. And if I learned anything recently, it's that I need to start mixing it in because I started doing some other stuff outside of my normal routine. And I was like, dang, why are my muscles so sore? Don't get stuck doing the same workouts. Making progress toward the future you means overcoming new challenges. And FitBod creates a fitness
Starting point is 00:30:15 program that continually adapts with new exercises and dynamic intensity that adjusts to how you're progressing. So you'll be challenged to meet your goals at your own pace. Perfection is just an illusion, guys. Think about that. There's no perfect body that everyone can achieve. Dylan seems to think so, but like, it's just not true. Okay. I don't think I've said that. But what we can do is continually work to become a better version of ourselves. No workout is one size fits all. FitBod creates a fitness program that continually adapts to you so you can stay challenged with new exercises, pacing, and intensity based on where you are and where you want to be. I mean, we've all used this app.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Dylan's probably in there right now curating his stuff for next step workout. It's super interactive, which I love about it. I mean, it tailors workouts and your stretch routine and your warm-ups, everything to your goals. It's very intuitive. It's kind of sick. What's the learning curve like for you, Dylan? You're pretty bad at new technologies and stuff. No, no, he's not.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Okay, well, I don't think that's really necessary to come at me like that. But it's very user-friendly, actually. And me, someone who's not super great at that kind of thing, thank you, Will. It's very easy to use. Very easy to use. I got to say, that home stuff is huge as an uncle and a father. And I don't have a lot of time to go to the gym and stuff. The body weight workout, it helps me mix it up, get in some work 20 minutes at home,
Starting point is 00:31:40 open up FitBod, see what they're talking about, pump it out. I'll catch you on vacay just putting up body weight in the hotel room. Yeah, just doing push-ups. You push the chair to the balcony and just start going to work. Yeah, you've seen me. It creates a program based on your unique body experience and environment. Their algorithm uses data and analytics to help you build on your last workout to maximize your results.
Starting point is 00:32:03 And whether you're exercising three days a week or twice a day, every workout is scientifically proven to be better than the last. FitBot is super easy to use. It even has an HD video tutorial system that makes learning new exercises a breeze. It integrates with other fitness and health apps like Apple Health, Fitbit, Strava. You've heard of all the big boys out there. Personalized training can be tough on a budget, but FitBot is only $9.99 a month or $59.99 a year.
Starting point is 00:32:25 And if you sign up now, you get 25% off your membership. Pick up the pace on your fitness journey with FitBod today and your future self will thank you. Get 25% off your membership at FitBod.me slash steam. That's 25% off at FitBod.me slash steam. You know what it's time for? No. Bar review time, baby. I hope you're ready for this, Dave.
Starting point is 00:32:50 I'm not reviewing Wilmonds today. So am I. Are we going to hop from city to city? Is that the plan here, Davey? We did Austin first. Now we're doing Houston, right? Yes. You got to think next time we're going to do a different city, you know?
Starting point is 00:33:04 I mean, we'll see. Okay. But yeah, we're doing Houston. These are fun, man. Bar reviews, Houston. Oh, you brought out the stripper PA guy again. This is cool club radio promo voice. Whatever you say, man.
Starting point is 00:33:21 It's a different character. Anyway, thanks, Dylan. Clay is our first bar. We're doing Houston. Do we need to explain what we're doing here? Yeah, we're reviewing bars. We're not reviewing them. We're reading the reviews from other people, David.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Something we like to do here, we like to see what people are saying about the nightlife in certain towns, towns that we may have a big audience in, towns that we may do a meetup in at some point in the very, very near future. Allegedly. Houston, I thought, was a good one. I don't think in
Starting point is 00:33:53 our past iterations of this segment, I don't think we ever did Houston. I don't know what we ever did, honestly, outside of Chicago and Austin back in the day. But we're doing Houston now. H-Town. Houston's huge. You've been to Houston. Why do they call it H-time? Have you seen that?
Starting point is 00:34:10 I just call it the H at the bottom of the map. How did you say it, Will? How do you say it? H-time? Is that what you said? Yeah. How do you say it? Is he...
Starting point is 00:34:24 What are you doing? I'm not doing anything are you sure people call it h time spell it h-t-i-n-e i believe that the pronunciation there is uh it's it's slang it's h time h time so you say it with like a draw like yeah but i just ruined it don't clip that don't clip that don't clip any of this't clip any of this. No, clip some of this. This will be good. I think you guys are going to have fun with this. Okay, so people said lots of people call it H-Town, slurred a little.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Think of extreme Paul Walvo voice. Okay, now I get it. So me saying H-Town, that's not how you do it. Dude, I thought you were. It's more H-Town. I was confused myself. I was so confused. I'm glad you explained it.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Well, I don't think I explained it well. Someone's going to come at me. I've only seen it in writing from people from Houston. Probably Ross. Like, just people putting it in writing on Twitter. It should be H-T-O-N. Or H-T-A-W-N. I think I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:35:14 So this is on Ross, really, not us. True. In any capacity. Dude, it's like he's never even been there. Dude. Weren't you saying that he's really from, like, Tyler, Texas or something? Yeah, he's like like, Houston adjacent. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:26 That's the most mad he'll ever get at us for even alluding to that. Houston adjacent. It's tough. So, yeah, we're going to do some bars, some bars, some clubs. These are good reviews and bad reviews, some reviews that are just cringy all around. Let's have a little fun. First bar we're going to do. Clay.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Clay. Clay. Clay. Have you guys ever been to Clay. Clay. Clay. Clay. Have you guys ever been to Clay? Clay. No. Oh, it's spelled with the E with the accent mark. Yeah. I got you. I have been to Clay. Why? The only thing I can tell you for sure about
Starting point is 00:35:55 Clay that I've never heard of it or been there is that they absolutely have bottle service there. Oh, it's built on bottle service. Do they? It's the bottle service place. If you've got an accent over an E in the name of your club, you've on bottle service. It's the bottle service place. If you got an accent over an E in the name of your club, you got bottle service. It says here that it's located in Midtown. Clay offers a vibrant level of luxurious style and sophistication featuring a massive dance floor, three elegant bars, and five different indoor and outdoor lounges.
Starting point is 00:36:21 I'm not going to expose Sally's friend who said this to me, but the first time I ever went to Clay, I think I've only been two or three times, which is two or three times too many. The first time I went there,
Starting point is 00:36:30 I was trying to be a little more reserved, not be like, you know, out of control because I just met her friend group and she was dancing on a table
Starting point is 00:36:37 and she leaned over to me and said, why aren't you dancing on the table? You look like a nerd. Oh my gosh. And I was like, what the hell? You can't call me out like that my gosh. And I was like, what the hell?
Starting point is 00:36:45 You can't call me out like that in the middle of clay right now. There were some listeners who were keeping me apprised of you at clay. And they were like, dude, Willow looks like such a nerd not dancing on the table right now. They said I look like a penguin just kind of like waddling around. What would you do? That would be such a turnoff for me. I might just leave right there. What if you saw me just on a table just spraying a bottle of champagne on people just going off at class?
Starting point is 00:37:05 That would be sick. But dancing on the table? Yeah, very different. I'm too old to be dancing on tables. I'm pretty sure I will never dance on a table again as long as I live. What if I sit on a desk trying to get off that thing? Everybody knows that I only dance on tables at Coyote Ugly when I'm working my shift. Did Randy go to Coyote Ugly in Nashville?
Starting point is 00:37:25 Randy does not like Nashville questions. Randy is still down bad. He's still very down bad. Somebody DMed me telling me that my Nashville take was not good. What was your take? I think I just said. Comparing it to Austin? Yeah, and I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:39 I might have been a little critical of the music scene there. I don't know. Dylan's the one who straight up said that Nashville is the live music capital of the world compared to Austin. It's so glaringly better and different. I don't know how Austin got that moniker. I don't either. It doesn't make sense to me. There's a lot of live music in Austin, but I wouldn't say that it's over the top over a lot of other cities I've ever been to.
Starting point is 00:38:00 There is 20% as much live music in Austin as there is in Nashville. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. been to there is 20 as much live music in austin as there is in nashville yeah absolutely yeah you can't just walk into any bar in austin and expect to hear like a really good act and and when we were in nashville i remember just like it was like one in the afternoon i went to a bar and i was like dude this guy's absolutely shredding right now is austin still living off the stevie ray vaughn reputation from like the early late 70s early 80s don't know. I think it might be. Hard to say. Okay. I mean, Austin has ACL, but I think Nashville also has a big-time festival. Probably.
Starting point is 00:38:30 We'll do a meet-up there in a couple years. First one. Again, this is clack. It's from Michael. What's his last name? It's not what you think it is. Is it hard? Sophisticated. upscale, remarkable.
Starting point is 00:38:48 These are words that accurately describe this club. On entering, I immediately noticed the pool area, which was lit, both literally and figuratively, with a general chill vibe. Inside was upbeat and vibrant with mostly EDM during my visit. We easily got drinks at the bar and partied the night away with a fun crowd. Dress code was strictly enforced, so go there in style for a good time. I'll tell you this right now. Michael and I
Starting point is 00:39:11 are riding different waves. You don't like a General Chill vibe? We would not get along. Yeah, what's wrong with General Chill vibes? I do appreciate General Chill vibes. Easily getting drinks. I got a pool that's lit, literally and figuratively. His review is making me want to go there more. No. Dude, if Wilmonds were to invade another bar, would it be General Chill?
Starting point is 00:39:30 Maybe. Who was leading the troops? I think it might be. I think it might be. Randy's cracking up over there. Next review. Again, this is... This is from Paul. Paul?
Starting point is 00:39:43 And let me tell you this. I don't know how well Paul's review has aged. It's a three-year-old review. Uh-oh. To most everybody who gave this place a one star, quote, I don't see how you can hate from outside of the club. You can't even get in. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Got him. This is where we lose, Paul. If you didn't get in, it's probably because you look like trash the bouncer just doesn't like you damn get over it it's not racist and they don't owe you a pass in i'm white however i always feel like a minority there people who go here are usually rich and famous plus the drinks are expensive if you didn't get in come back later with a ton of cash in your hand wearing gucci and a couple girls on your side. You'll get in then. Stop hating because you can't get in.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Wow. A lot going on with Paul's review. Paul, maybe tone it down a little bit. I'm white, but I often feel like a minority there. I'm trying to like... What are you doing? You never want to start a sentence with, I'm white, however. And you know what? He didn't even use the...
Starting point is 00:40:42 That's never a good look. What are you doing, Paul? Stop hating because you can't get in is the theme of Paul's. I wonder why he took it the race route. I believe. So looking through these reviews, and this is kind of a theme with a lot of these clubs. They have these strict dress codes that seem to target certain demographics, maybe. And one might say that a lot of the bouncers do profiling.
Starting point is 00:41:17 That's a frequent theme in the bar reviews, especially when you're doing bars like clubs like this that consider themselves upscale and they limit who can come in there. So I believe Paul was sticking up for the bar. I don't know if the bar was really a big fan of that review. I don't know if they're looking at that and being like, ooh, yeah, that's a good look for us. So Paul was rocking with Clay, but we're not sure if Clay was rocking with Paul. Certainly not.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Okay. Is it Clay or is it Clay? Clay. Hard to say. Clay. Clay. Do we know Is it Clay or is it Clay? Clay. Hard to say. Clay. Clay. Do we know how it's pronounced? I think just Clay.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Great. Yeah. That is a, what is he doing? A lot. He's doing the most. But again, his recommendation is come back later with a ton of cash in your hand wearing Gucci and having a couple girls on your side. I'm just not going to do that.
Starting point is 00:42:04 You can't just go pick up cash. What, are you going to go to the ATM and just get a few hundred bucks out? That's usually how it works, yeah. I don't know if a few hundred bucks is going to do it. We used to walk up to the front of the line holding a bunch of cash in your hand. You got the Manziel cash phone? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:21 How many times has Manziel been to clay? At least 15. There's no doubt about it. Hell yeah, he's been to clay. Okay. How many times has Manziel been to clay? At least 15. There's no doubt about it. Hell yeah. He's been to clay. Okay. All right. Next bar is called Poor Behavior.
Starting point is 00:42:34 P-O-U-R. Oh, you get it? Like they're pouring drinks in there. I get it. I get it. Oh, shit. It's a bar and grill. Went here on St. Paddy's Day to meet some friends that were already there. The doorman said I couldn't go in because I was wearing Jordans, shit. It's a bar and grill. Went here on St. Paddy's Day to meet some friends that were already there.
Starting point is 00:42:45 The doorman said I couldn't go in because I was wearing Jordans, LOL. He even admitted how he thought the rule was so stupid. And then he has the same pair of Jubilees and even liked how I was wearing them. But I just wasn't allowed in. While me and my other two friends were standing outside to figure out where to go next, we saw a guy coming out in Jordan 1s. And my friend goes, uh, he's wearing Jordans. Doorman then proceeds to say, yeah, Jordan 1s are allowed,
Starting point is 00:43:08 just not the other numbers. Oh, my God. Laugh my ass off. Oh, my God. I can't believe I really heard those bizarre words come out of his mouth. That is one of the wackest things I ever heard. And at that point, I had no interest in supporting a business with such absurd policies.
Starting point is 00:43:21 It's 2021. Everyone wears Jordans. Grow up. Couldn't agree more. Were those the ones? Come Jordans. Grow up. Couldn't agree more. Were those the ones? Come on, man, my man. Yeah, what? No respect.
Starting point is 00:43:29 That's hilarious. Does poor behavior, terrible name, borderline unbarlievable level bad name, do they school their bouncers on different Jordans? They have flash cards? It's like, nah, man, you got the Cactus Jacks on, you got to get out of here, my guy. Ooh, like those Jordan 3, man. The retros are sick.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Unfortunately, they're the Jordan 3s, and we don't. You see the sign here, Jordan 1s or nothing. Go slide into some 1s and come back. That one is shocking. That's hilarious. You postmate some 1s to the line, toss them on, call it a day. That's hilarious. You postmate someone to the line, toss them on, call it a day? That's incredible. You guys remember old Craig Biggio?
Starting point is 00:44:12 Ooh, the killer bees. He has a restaurant bar in Houston. Does he ever? I believe it's called Biggio's. Do you think Jeff T. from Frisco had a good time there or a bad time? I've been there a couple times, actually. It's right outside of Minute Maid, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:30 I want to say I watched, like 2007 or 2008, LeBron hit a game-winning 35-footer in the playoffs, like his first or second year. And he celebrated at BGOs. And I watched it from there. It wasn't his first or second year in Cleveland but anyway not important but yes this bar review is from
Starting point is 00:44:48 not a club but it's BGO's from Jeff T normally I would just give this three stars for good but nothing outside the ordinary however that fourth star is earned for exceptional service I don't recall the names of the guys behind the bar, but they never addressed me unless it was by my first name.
Starting point is 00:45:08 My drink was never less than half full. As far as the food, I went with the Dirty Dog. Wow! This is not a hot dog as much as it was a hot log. Gross. That had to weigh a pound and a half to two pounds covered in bison chili and onion strings with the cheese sauce this is a knife and fork meal you would need to shower if you tried to pick this up and eat it prices are hotel prices for sure i would say this five dollar for
Starting point is 00:45:36 a soda it's uh just stupid you're crossing a line with that other than that good food and i had great service are they crossing a line with the five5 soda? That's too much for a soda. Yeah, but, you know, when it comes to that, like, maybe you just shouldn't be drinking soda, my guy. Imagine the sugar levels in there. Yeah, it's too much sugar, dog. Is this a good or a bad descriptor? A hot log. It makes me think of a turd, right?
Starting point is 00:46:00 He says this is not a hot dog as much as it was a hot log. It's the dirty dog, Will. I do respect that he pointed out because I think this is an issue for me a lot of times when I'm eating finger foods, whether it's a sandwich or something else, that sometimes after you eat a messy burger, you do just want to go take a shower. Washing your hands ain't going to do it. You just got to get everything off you. Do you think Biggio's has a Lionel Messi burger?
Starting point is 00:46:21 Hard to say. And it's just ghost at us? Hard to say. It's a burger made Hard to say. And it's just goat status. Hard to say. It's just a goat. It's a burger made of goat meat. Right. Because Lionel Messi is my goat. I don't know about y'all.
Starting point is 00:46:32 I watch a lot of football. He's not my goat. Mine's Freddie Adu. Really? He's goated. He had a really good career. He's high-key goated. Mine's tattooed.
Starting point is 00:46:40 He really lived up to the hype. I know. He was sick. He's still got time, right? Isn't he like 25? 45, right? No, he's not. I know. He was sick. He still got time, right? Isn't he like 25? 45, right? No, he's not older than me. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:46:49 I know he might be your age, but. Okay. I think he's my age. He's 32. How old am I? I got plenty of time. He hasn't even peaked yet. I'm 33.
Starting point is 00:46:57 I don't know. You tell me. Wait, I'm 34. Oh, shit. Damn. I was born in 87. The pandemic. Like, we should just not.
Starting point is 00:47:04 No one should have aged a year during the pandemic. None of us got to have fun. None of us got to leave. We should all be one year younger. Biologically, I still feel 35. I don't know about you. I'm feeling 22. Wait, am I about to be 36 or 37?
Starting point is 00:47:16 I'm dead serious. Well, I feel 17 because I'm in my hometown, so. God, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22. He just did that one. Literally just did that. Dylan, odds. Odds you will, when we do the Houston meetup. One and two.
Starting point is 00:47:31 You will go to Biggio's and order the dirty dog. The hot dog that is not a hot dog as much as it is a hot log. One and 15. Let's put you in. You know you got to do it. Hot log. You want to dance? Let's go.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Let's dance. One, two, you got to do it. You want to dance? Let's go, dog. Let's dance. One, two, three, 12. 13. Shit. Dylan was going to say three, and then he went to 13. No, I had 13 in my mind the whole time, man. Dylan's the guy who changes what he's going to say as the other person. Would you stop?
Starting point is 00:47:59 He hesitates. Oh, like I got to accuse him. There's a delay. Dude, there was a delay. Oh, there's a delay. Anyway. There's no fucking delay. Oh, there was a delay. Anyway. There's no fucking delay. Next bar.
Starting point is 00:48:08 No, it was, dog. And by bar, I mean... Barbarella. Stop. There's a Barbarella in Houston. Yeah, there's one here, too. Yes, there is. Have you ever been?
Starting point is 00:48:19 No, of course not. You've never been to Barbarella? Really? Why would I? I mean, you were in your 20s here. Is it 36? Where is it? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:48:27 It's off of 6. I've never been sober enough to know where I am whenever I'm there. I've been there twice, and both times I was in no condition to be in public. There's a good chance I never go to 36 again the rest of my life. I went with the guy. You're going to go. What about for the homies bachelor party or something? He's not doing it on 36th Street.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Yes, he is. Oh, he's not. Yes, he is. Take him to Vegas. I already told him he's doing his it on Dirty Six Street. Yes, he is, dude. Yes, he is. Take him to Vegas. I already told him he's doing his 10th birthday party on Dirty Six. We're doing it at Buckshots. We're going to rent out the rooftop. And just serve
Starting point is 00:48:53 shots of apple juice to all the kids or what? Absolutely. Doesn't he think there's a bunch of big Buckhunter things there and that's why he wants to go there? There is. Is there? The second level. Wouldn't surprise me. Levels, dude. No, Barbarella's, if you want to be surrounded by people who are hot, sweaty, dancing, maybe on drugs, while watching the music video. You guys know music videos.
Starting point is 00:49:21 This sounds like my absolute nightmare of a place. While you dance, and a lot of it's very retro 80s themed. i think maybe that's all of it um then this is the bar for you but one time i went to barbarella's in austin uh it was with a guy we know the guy i'm not gonna name him he might listen you know him he's a tall fellow okay and he he goes to eat parties he's a good dude he he has fun he goes to a lot of bars, or at least he did. Anyway, I go in there with him and another guy, a guy we used to work with. Might have been on the man outfitter side of things. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:53 I think I'm putting together who you're talking about. Immediately, they beeline for the – I guess it's like a mini stage, but there's people standing up dancing, and they're up there just going for it. And I'm down on the ground like, man, I don't need to be here. I don't really want to do what they're doing, and I don't want to be the guy by myself at Barbarella's. Walk out back. They have it outside.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Run into the con dog, Connor. The con man. You know the con man. Of course. Yeah. That's my fun story. This is Barbarella, Houston. Review number one
Starting point is 00:50:26 for the east side excuse me for the east village new york city and berkeley north california eclectic vibe from drag queens to school marms and all things lively and in between for the international collegiate to the all-around way girl guy. Never a same night. Always something vivid and fun. Food truck and mobile pizza guy always on deck for before or after you turn up. Parentheses party. As always, drink responsibly. And more importantly, call a Lyft ride and save that $10,000 attorney fee.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Exclamation. Exclamation. Damn. Little PSA. Little bar review slash PSA. They just did so much. The first sentence of that is just a lot. Like, you're on Yelp.
Starting point is 00:51:13 For the international collegiate to the around-the-way girl slash guy. This isn't the New York Times. This isn't some culture thing. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. It sounds like a professional review. Like, yeah. Just chill out. You're on Yelp. Just say that you did Molly there and got an Uber home. Yeah, just say what it sounds like. You're not in New York Mac. It sounds like a professional review. Yeah, just chill out. You're on Yelp.
Starting point is 00:51:25 Just say that you did Molly there and got an Uber home. Yeah, just say it's sick and we'll move on. What is the East Village NYC vibe? I'm not sure. I think it's uppity. It's the same, apparently,
Starting point is 00:51:36 as the Berkeley, North California eclectic vibe. Upper East Side is like, I think it's a pretty swanky part of the city. He's talking East Village, dog. Oh. Upper East Side and East Village, dog. Oh. Upper East Side and East Village, I believe, are much different.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Is this where your buddy Brady hangs out? Not sure. I'm probably going to get made fun of for that. He's hung out here before. That's fine, too. Probably. I'm more of a West Village guy. I don't know the parts.
Starting point is 00:51:58 No, I know nothing about New York City. I get lost anywhere I go. Dude, you should have Brett on Scaries to talk about New York City. I'm lost anywhere I go. Dude, you should have Brett on Scaries to talk about New York City. I'm thinking about it. Is he going to do Breaking News today? He is. Let's ask him about East Village. Okay. Sick. I would
Starting point is 00:52:16 go back to Barbarella under the right circumstances. I will not go with you. Like Paul Oakenfold's doing a set there or something? Or Martin Skrillex. That'd be tight. So last night I solicited recommendations for bars I should check out. And one that I'd actually already looked up and talked to Will about was Lay Low. L-E-I-L-O-W.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Oh, I see what they're doing with that name. Now you're speaking my language. Did you get that? You get it? Will's been gassing up this bar to us privately for like three or four years. Now, I've been to a tiki bar in Houston. I don't remember the name of it,
Starting point is 00:52:56 but it was awesome, and I'm wondering if it's the same one. Was it small? Small, dark? Dark. Yeah. You were at Lay Low, dude. I got a gram off in there, actually, which you can check out at DeShivery on the Grom.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Follow me on the Grom. After touching base got canceled, I was down bad. Why? Oh, we got canceled. Yeah, got canceled, you know. Might. And so we decided to go to Houston to blow off some steam for the weekend. And I went to, like, a million different bars, and we decided to end our night at Lalo.
Starting point is 00:53:24 I'm going to say this. Maybe ending the night at Lalo is a dicey move. Is it more of an ender or a starter? I think a starter. I think a starter because you just get hammered immediately and then you can go out and do stuff as opposed to like being hammered and then having one drink and then just getting put out of your misery.
Starting point is 00:53:38 But when we finally walked into Lalo a little after midnight, I walked in. I didn't get one foot in the door before I heard just someone yell like dude day one backer over here and they or day one and i was just like let's fucking go okay now i'm home so when i went there and i ordered a drink my drink was on fire and i don't mean that figuratively this i mean i mean there was a four inch flame coming off the top of my drink and it was sick i'm trying to find the picture right you have to put out the flame before you drink it? Oh, there it is.
Starting point is 00:54:07 There it is. See? Straight up on fire. Ooh. Wow. Who's the young lady in the background? Just a couple of young ladies who were judging me for taking a selfie because of my dumbass drink that was on fire.
Starting point is 00:54:18 And I have to say, I get it. But, yeah, I didn't tag the place. Don't know why. This is 312 weeks ago. Maybe that's why. But, yeah, I think't tag the place. Don't know why. This is 312 weeks ago. Maybe that's why. But, yeah, I think I was there, dog. Let me say this. You're sick.
Starting point is 00:54:31 The reviews that I read were 95% positive, and this one I think was even like three-star, and this is the most negative one I saw. I was doing numbers back then. No, you weren't. Cave-like dive bar with novelty drinks, a tiny patio, and one toilet per sex.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Which is... I'm trying to think how that works. There was plenty of people here when I went and a door bouncer was present but couldn't seem to count. Seemed more like a show than a practical slash useful bouncer. We got a table which was nice. the patio is super small and fully fenced no view the novelty cause uh the novelty causes bar orders to take a long
Starting point is 00:55:12 time but the bartenders are nice in my opinion the drinks were not good at all we tried voodoo sharks and some acid tiki and they both tasted like toothpaste mixed with vodka yum i like that toothpaste tastes good. I use it every day. I love toothpaste. Yeah. Dude, I fuck with fluoride heavy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Counterpoint. This is from Robert. Sweet, tiki Jesus. Great place and awesome drinks. Phenomenal rum selection. And wow, wonderfully organized rum list. Thumbs up emoji. I love a good rum list.
Starting point is 00:55:44 This guy's horny for rum. Robert Love, he is young, dumb, and full of rum. Well, boy, do I have a restaurant for him. I've got his contact info. Okay, perfect. I recall the drinks being very expensive while I was there, like starting at like $20-something. All you need is one.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Right. Yeah. I told Dave before this, when I went there last, I actually tagged out of my drink, and I switched drinks with somebody midway through. Hey, can we do a meetup there? Is that too much to ask? No, but we can do our after party there. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:15 That's my proposition. I think we have the meetup somewhere bigger, outdoors, spread out, and then after party at Lalo. Based on every review, and you all have been there, so you can speak to this. Every review I said, or most of the reviews love this place it sounds like it's kind of packed in and if we get half the crowd we got in dallas and houston then it's going to be too much you're right you're right we could do a vip maybe like a uh ten thousand dollar level on patreon man what i do for a meetup right now what are you trying to say i think we I do for a meetup right now? What are you trying to say?
Starting point is 00:56:48 I think we need to have a meetup soon. Maybe we should do one in Houston at the Dirt Bar, Will. Oh, God. I've never heard of the Dirt Bar. This review's from Frank. The Dirt Bar? Hold on, hold on before you judge. What a terrible name. The Dirt Bar.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Dead as a morgue. Nice staff, but unless you are in need of a place to think about your death, go somewhere else. What? Is that why it's called Dirt Bar? Take a dirt nap there? Is that the theme? Like six feet under? Hold on. That wasn't the best review, but maybe there's another one that we could maybe use to do a meetup at.
Starting point is 00:57:22 This is from Sandra. If you like to smell piss while drinking, go for it. If not, go home and pop a top on your commode. True, not lies. Sad.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Damn. I'm trying to think if I like to smell a piss while I'm drinking. I certainly don't. It just depends. It depends on what I'm drinking, like what wave I'm on that particular evening. True. This place does not sound like The Move at this point.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Dirt Bar? Dude, I live at Dirt Bar. Get in the mud. I think it's a metal bar. It might be kind of goth themed. I'm fine with that. Okay, one more. Let's do Ryan's Pub.
Starting point is 00:58:02 Ryan. Ryan. Hey, Ryan, cabs are here. Tisha time. This one's from mitchell i've got friends in low places where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away and i'll be okay as long as i'm at ron's pub why is he doing that if you're looking for a gastropub or a fancy mixology bar, this is not for you. Perfect. If you're looking for good company and a good crowd with an even better staff, this is the spot for you.
Starting point is 00:58:37 If you're put off by darts, golden tea, the regulars, and a retro vibe, this is not for you. If you're made uncomfortable by any of this, this is not for you. If you're made uncomfortable by any of this, this is not for you. However, if you're willing to embrace and become part of a tight-knit and welcoming group of regular patrons, Ron's is the place for you. There are so many welcoming, unique, eclectic, but genuine patrons that frequent this watering hole, including myself, that make it a hidden treasure amongst the Houston
Starting point is 00:59:06 bar scene. Five stars. I'm really glad that this guy decided to- Include himself? Well, that, and also pay attention in eighth grade about the power of repetition in written language, because he really knocked that review out of the park. It's really beautiful stuff. This is not for you.
Starting point is 00:59:22 It's not for you. This is not for you. It's not for you. This is not for you. Yeah, that was the most – I can, like, picture the guy who's writing this as he's writing it, bar review I've ever seen. Like, I know exactly who this guy is. I'm glad that there's people out there doing Yelp reviews and stuff like that, but I just can't imagine being that kind of person. Just being like, oh, I'm going to hop on and write a few paragraphs about this place. And you've got to consider the type of person who would leave a review too yeah you're like actually spend time on it and like make it like their own and like put some effort into it it's like okay yeah this person might not like this bar but am i riding the same wave as this person you know
Starting point is 01:00:00 what i mean rarely am i riding the same wave as that i don't i don't ride the same wave as a yelp reviewers you typically speaking what if uh ron's pub got bought out by a investment group out of new jersey and like they just had a bartender who was just throwing he would just throw a haymaker at you every now and then just trying to knock you out with one punch. Some like 5'5", 215 pounds. Just yoked. Ron. Just steroid dude with bad tats. Hey. Ron. Ron, you pab.
Starting point is 01:00:32 And that's Bar Reviews, Houston edition. Beautiful. It's a fun one, man. I would like to go to Houston soon. Do you know where I don't really want to go to because it's a big hassle? Tell us. A little place called the post office. Are you guys still going to the post office?
Starting point is 01:00:48 I'm not. Still paying full price for postage? Yeah, I'm not doing that either. Because thanks to stamps.com, you don't have to do that anymore. You can mail and ship anytime, anywhere, right from your computer. You can send letters, ship packages, and pay less. A lot less. With discounted rates from UPS, USPS, and more.
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Starting point is 01:01:58 Stamps.com is a fraction of the cost for those expensive postage meters. Catch me not messing with postage meters. I don't want to ever deal with those. It's a no-brainer, saving you time and money. It's no wonder nearly 1 million small businesses already use stamps.com. Are you guys ready to hear how you can get a deal here? It's a lot of business. Tell me about it, Willie. You have to follow these steps.
Starting point is 01:02:18 And once you do follow these steps, I have to say, there's a sweet, sweet reward at the end of this. You stop wasting time going to the post office and go to stamps.com instead. There's no risk. And with our promo code circling back, you get a special offer that includes, are you guys ready for this offer? It's a good offer.
Starting point is 01:02:32 It's a great offer, in fact. A four-week trial plus free postage. Yeah, I said free postage. And a digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage. This is important. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in
Starting point is 01:02:50 circling back. That's stamps.com, promo code circling back, stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. Netflix dropped some heat today. It's called Sexy Beasts. I've never been more in on a show. That's because you're a furry on the low, right? On the low, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Is everyone familiar what furries are? Yeah, people know. It's a kink. It's people who have an interest in anthro... It's a kink. In anthropomorphic animals or animals with human qualities. And they dress up like that and they hook up with each other. Yeah, typically with their costumes on.
Starting point is 01:03:29 If you were a furry, what animal would you be i would be a tuna great question really that's that no but like a real tuna like a subway not a subway tuna i think i'd lean in and just go otter yeah i think i would that's sick i would be so popular if i was an otter doing furry stuff dude i was watching Alone last night. You guys see that Netflix show? Were you alone or were you just watching Alone? I was watching Alone. Oh, okay. Were you feeling alone at the time?
Starting point is 01:03:51 On the show, there were some wolverines. Those are pretty sick little animals. Yeah, they are. They're very vicious. I'm not saying that's what I want to be, but it reminded me of the wolverines. They're quick. They're rare. It's in the badger family, David.
Starting point is 01:04:02 It's the biggest weasel there is, actually. Oh, that's you. He'd be a fucking squid. Oh, dude. I'd be a polar bear, dog. Oh, no, you're a squid. I'd be a polar bear. No, you wouldn't.
Starting point is 01:04:13 He'd be a Kodiak, dog. Okay. Those are super dope, too. What's your problem? Maybe I could... Could I qualify with my lobster costume? That's furry to me. Does furry have to be, like, furry? to be like furry you know because lobsters
Starting point is 01:04:27 obviously you know just read the death that's facts i guess well sexy beast if you guys aren't familiar uh is a two season that i think they got approved for two seasons uh reality dating show yeah on netflix it's a bunch of people dressed up in costumes, so they can't see how they physically look, and they have to make a connection just based on conversation alone. But you can absolutely see their shape, their form, their bodies. You get a pretty good idea about what they're working with. Like, yes, you have the face of a seal,
Starting point is 01:05:02 but I can tell you're slim thick with that cute ass. But you got bomb ass tees. Right. You know what I'm saying? Were you making a joke about seal's face, David? No. Why did they really mess up? Why did they do the full get up?
Starting point is 01:05:13 I don't want to, you know, if you really want this to work, this experiment to work, cover up their whole bodies, man. Are you familiar with Rob Delaney? He's narrating this show. Okay. That's a big name for narrating this. He's big on Twitter. Yeah, he's very political on Twitter. Is he political now?
Starting point is 01:05:31 It's fine that he's political on Twitter, but I think he's humorous otherwise. No, you always say he shouldn't be. So I want some more of his just general humor. Does he still do stand-up? His stand-up was never that good to me. I don't know. Catastrophe, I will say, is a top-tier show. Unsolicited recommendation, Catastrophe.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Go watch it. Okay, I probably won't, but thank you. It's really good, Dylan. Thank you. Everyone that I've recommended it to has gone back to me and been like, thank you so much for recommending that. You're the best recommender ever. No one has done that.
Starting point is 01:05:56 No, everyone calls me that. The best recommender ever. Mm-hmm. He's a super recommender. Mm-hmm. Oh, I have to respect that, I guess. I don't know how I feel about this show, but I think I'm all in. No, I definitely am down to pivot our Bachelor stuff to sexy bees.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Dude, I'd be completely fine with that. I will add, we can even add this into the rotation. There's no way this doesn't deliver. There's a world where Sally and I do a Love Island recap podcast for Love Island USA when it comes out this summer. There was a clip that was online yesterday. I don't know if it was from an old season. I'm pretty sure it wasn't. I'm pretty sure it's from the new season of Love Island UK, where a girl was talking about how she's open to like hooking up with whoever and how she used to be a personal assistant for a guy and the guy had to cut her off from hooking up because of
Starting point is 01:06:41 his family. And the girl that tweeted out the clip was like, well, I just found out that my dad was cheating on my mom because of this girl. It was his assistant. Oh, my gosh. This is so awkward. What? What show is this? Love Island. Oh.
Starting point is 01:06:55 It's always Love Island. Tonight. With this guy, yeah. It's always Love Island, dude. Best dating show there is. These animal masks that they wear are not just like something you pick up at you know party pig or whatever on halloween mass these are like full on like broadway quality they're legit what's party pig what is party pig there's a party there's a
Starting point is 01:07:15 used to be a store i'm just a lucy in disguise guy that's that's the that's goaded that's go costume shop in Austin. That's one thing Nashville does not have on Austin. Costume shop, like Lucy in Disguise. Do you get it in disguise? Because like disguise is a costume. Do you get it? You probably don't even get it. No, I understand.
Starting point is 01:07:39 I got a number of items from my Patrick Swayze costume there. You were Patrick Swayze? Chippendale's SN from my Patrick Swayze costume there. You were Patrick Swayze? Chippendale's SNL skit, Patrick Swayze. Oh, that one. I forgot you were doing that. That was good. You had Randy dressed up and everything. He loved it. He really loved wearing a dog tuxedo. What do you do when you tell your family that you're going to go on a dating show and you might get a little Twitter cloud or Instagram cloud
Starting point is 01:08:05 and then they're like, oh, like The Bachelor? And you're like, no. Sexy beast. Yeah, no, it's kind of a furry show. Do we know if there's a fantasy suite and if they have to stay in costume? I hope so.
Starting point is 01:08:17 I would enjoy that. There's a scene in the trailer where the two people are kissing with their costumes on, which is interesting. I'm not saying that you have to do anything on this show when it comes to sexual stuff. What you do, as you guys all know,
Starting point is 01:08:30 sexually, in the comfort of your own home, is your business. Always said that. But I wouldn't hate if two people smashed with their costumes on in this show. No, and I'm not saying that we need to see that, but if that video did make its way
Starting point is 01:08:46 into Dylan's hands, that is so stupid, Will. Like, low-key, that rat's kind of hot. Dude, what if you actually develop feelings for somebody? You trying to smush? Then they pop that mask off
Starting point is 01:08:59 and they're just like atrocious looking. But what we know now from seeing the trailer for the show, there's no one bad looking on this show. Everyone's good looking, and I don't think you're going to be that upset. There's a five in there somewhere.
Starting point is 01:09:09 It would be devastating. I don't rate people based on number scales, David, so I wouldn't know what that actually means. There's a Dave on the show. It's fine. I do internally. In my head, I'm like, yeah, that person's a four. Anyone I saw, I was like, this is fine.
Starting point is 01:09:21 What do you say in your head when you see me? Perfect ten. Dude, you're a nine. Thank you. You're a solid nine. Ryan, you were in your head when you see me? Perfect time. Dude, you're a nine. Thank you. Solid nine. Ryan, you were in the smush room with the cow. The smush room. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 01:09:34 Tina, are you Ryan? Each episode will feature a new single who's looking for love based purely on personality. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Like. What? What? Say it, bitch. Are you disgusted or are you happy? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:09:51 He's distraught. I mean, like, yeah, you can create love based on personality alone, but you still got to know what their face fucking looks like. That's what I'm saying. If you pop that mask off and it's like there's a two under there, it's tough, man. Hey, this show would have been better like the last year when we're all wearing masks. Oh, thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:06 You know what I mean? You couldn't see what somebody's face looked like when they were wearing a mask. Those hit a lot of people's favorites. You know what I'm saying? Oh, hey, me, man. I'm a mask nine. Randy, are you a furry on the low? He's nodding yes.
Starting point is 01:10:18 He says no. What animal would Randy be? Randy? Something that's thick, man. I don't know. He'd be like, what was Rafiki? Because Rafiki kept that ass on him. Baboon?
Starting point is 01:10:35 I think it was a baboon. I don't know if he was a baboon. Dude, don't compare him to Rafiki. He's not wise enough. No offense, Randy. He's a mandrill. How did you not know that? I should have. Dude, Raf't compare him to Rafiki. He's not wise enough. No offense, Randy. He's a mandrill. How did you not know that? I should have.
Starting point is 01:10:48 Dude, Rafiki was tight. That's a mandrill, baby. Okay. He was my favorite Lion King character by a mile. He was aggressive. I would be Simone. I'd go with Simone. Okay, Simone or Timon.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Which one is it? Timon? I'd be Timo. Okay, that's good. Is Timo in the mic? No one knows who that is except for... Timo! Is he here?
Starting point is 01:11:14 Is it time? No, let's talk more about this. We're going to talk pig? It's This Weekend in Fun, presented by Everlane. Some of the greatest pleasures in life are also the simplest. That's why Everlane makes premium quality essentials that complement every wardrobe at a more transparent, affordable price. You guys know I've been shopping at Everlane for years?
Starting point is 01:11:42 I did not know that. Years. I'm wearing Everlane right now, actually. This shirt is Everlane. Let's go. Pocket tea. I don't know if you guys listen to the Sunday Scaries podcast. You guys listen to that?
Starting point is 01:11:52 No, never heard of it. I had Tim Howard on recently, and I asked him what his ideal Sunday outfit was, and he said shorts and a hoodie. I subscribe to this hard. And most recently, I got a package in the mail from Everlane. And their hoodie is one of the softest, most comfortable hoodies I've ever worn in my entire life. Is this faxed? It's big faxed.
Starting point is 01:12:09 Triple faxed. I have been wearing it at the house every single night. Crank that AC down. Get out of the shower. Toss that on. I go no shirt under when I'm chilling at home because it's that soft that I just like the feel of it. I regret not copping that. You should have copped.
Starting point is 01:12:23 They do have a store on South Congress if you're trying to go try some stuff on, Dylan. I just noticed this dope little embroidered E down here. So I actually noticed that recently on mine, and it made me feel like I had way more swagger when I saw that little E down there. Yeah, this is like swagged out. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Damn. They've made quality clothing with ethical factories and radically transparent pricing
Starting point is 01:12:43 since 2010. I think I was shopping there in 2010, just to be crystal clear. You're day one. I was at my wardrobe in the wintertime in northern Michigan was wearing one of their sweaters every single day. I had it in three different colors. That's how much I liked them. They do extensive research and vetting to use ethical factories that provide fair wages
Starting point is 01:13:01 and reasonable hours to the skilled people who craft their clothing. Timeless design and the finest sustainable materials so you can wear them for years to come. Most real tailors, they hide their markups. They're scared of that stuff. Everlane? Nah. No middle, man. Get out of here. They believe their customers have the right to know how much their clothes cost to make, and in fact,
Starting point is 01:13:17 they share exactly how much their products cost and produce at each stage. Are they the most transparent company next to us? You don't see anybody doing that. There's a reason we're partnering with them. Dude, they have everything you need to upgrade your spring uniform,
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Starting point is 01:14:35 to Everlane.com slash steam and sign up. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Wow, thank you for asking, Will. I will keep mine short as I have nothing going on this weekend. You love to hear that. I have nothing going on this weekend? Wow, thank you for asking, Will. I will keep mine short as I have nothing going on this weekend. You love to hear that. I have nothing going on this weekend. Unfortunately, when I'll have parks Friday or Saturday.
Starting point is 01:14:53 So I'm wide open. I'm looking to link. I'm looking to mob. I'm looking to step out. Whatever you want. I need to insert whatever you want. Let's go down to Clay. You're going to go to Clay?
Starting point is 01:15:02 Clay. I'm down to do whatever y'all want to do, man. Clay. Clay. I don't know what y'all have going on, but if you want to hang out with your boy, he's straight up available. Okay. So, again, keep my mind short.
Starting point is 01:15:14 I have nothing, which I'm kind of excited for. I could do a dinner. I could do a kickback. Yeah. A kickback at the new crypt, Dave? It's kind of embarrassing. Will and I have a table atback? Yeah. We could do a kickback at the new crypt, Dave? It's kind of embarrassing. Will and I have a table at Clay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:29 Really? Are you going to hit lay low afterward? Probably. We've got a table there, too. You should probably just lay low just in general. We've got tables at both places, and then we're going to close the night at Dirt Bar and just think about our death.
Starting point is 01:15:41 That sounds kind of terrible. Yeah. That's all I have, which is nothing. Will and I are going to be just Gucci'd out with our wives and wives' friends. You're going to be Gucci'd out with your wives. We're going to walk right into Clay in a stack of cash. Damn. That's how you get in at Clay.
Starting point is 01:15:57 I have no edits to what Dave said. That's exactly what's happening. I will, for real, talk about your weekend. Playing golf tomorrow. Tomorrow? Wow, dude. Thursday. Thursday evening, I get 4.30 tee time. Who are you playing with? happening oh well for real talk about your weekend playing golf tomorrow tomorrow wow dude thursday thursday uh evening i get 4 30 t time who you playing with uh tinu uh hazard wr poland sick noted new york times best-selling author who we wronged earlier in the episode and
Starting point is 01:16:24 and i'll take that. We did. That's all I got, man. I got some stuff I got to hang in our guest room. Swag. Yeah, it's really cool, man. I got some stuff I need to put on the walls. Other than that, man, I'm available.
Starting point is 01:16:44 Will and I, we should only be in Houston for like 24 hours, but we'll be back. Dude, if we're back early enough, we can maybe grab something to eat on Sunday morning. Don't lie to me. You can't lie to me. I'll hit you up. Dude, he'll hit you up. He'll call you. Seriously, man. He'll call you.
Starting point is 01:16:57 I'm fun to hang out with, man. Are you? Yeah, everybody says that. Will? I got to be honest, boys. Not a lot going on in Will world lately. I am leaving town next week, which means that I probably should lay low. This isn't next week and then fun.
Starting point is 01:17:14 I know, but I'm just saying. I have a shortened week next week. There's a lot of stuff to do before we leave in town. Never left town with a kid before. It's a little stressful. We got a lot of shit to pack up, Dylan. Is he not old enough to be home alone yet? Let's get a beer, man.
Starting point is 01:17:26 Dude, when did they start walking and talking? Like next month or something? He's two months old. Figure it out. Dude, I was just saying that to Rhodes. I'm like, dude,
Starting point is 01:17:31 you gotta start walking around and shit. I did get clearance to turn our den, little front room area of our place, into a home office. And so I think
Starting point is 01:17:41 I may be stepping out this weekend to try to find some home office furniture. If anyone has any suggestions out there, you know where to find me on Twitter at wild freeze. Do you check out office Depot? Hang out with your boy one time. We went to office Depot to find a desk one time and it was literally the worst selection. Yes. It was literally the worst selection of desks I've ever seen. It was absolute trash. Atrocious.
Starting point is 01:18:00 Where do we get this? A way fair. We were trying to order a kid, but instead we got this fucking desk. Really annoying. Stop. Is it time? So we're not going to hang out with you all this weekend? We can probably link and build. I was thinking about maybe having a low-key pool day on Saturday. A kickback?
Starting point is 01:18:19 I will say this as well. If you ever come to my pool, you better come strapped with some sandals because it is the hottest surface in Austin. It is jarringly hot. Got a new bathing suit alert over here. Oh, my word. Are you going to debut it this weekend? You're not going to believe what it looks like.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Are they board shorts? You're a big board shorts guy, aren't you? Is it billabong? I had a friend who had a billabong shirt, and he got a pen, and he made it say billabong. That's so sick. Dude, youabong. That's so sick. Dude, you smoke weed. That's so sick.
Starting point is 01:18:47 You burn the weed. That is nectar. Is that who I think it is? Long one for y'all, huh? That's what she said. Dude, Brett, shut up. For an episode that we were reaching for content. We were doing hot long time.
Starting point is 01:18:58 At no point were we reaching for content. You literally said we need one more story. Yeah, because we had to fill out the thing. And then we found it, dog. Don't pull back the curtain so far, bro. Fourth wall meta shit. Anyway, how about some breaking news, guys? Break it.
Starting point is 01:19:13 A little choose your adventure here. It's a real simple lineup. Alligators, weed, or cows? I'll take all of the above. Doing furry talk. You want to do furry talk? Are you talking gator tails? Dylan probably wants to do that one first.
Starting point is 01:19:26 Catch us at clay. Sorry. Go ahead, Brent. Let's do cows first. Randy, can you help me out? Forty cows escaped from a slaughterhouse over in California, the town of Pico Rivera. What are you doing, Stuart? There's cows on the highway? Is that right down the highway from Pico de. What are you doing, Stuart? There's cows on the highway?
Starting point is 01:19:46 Is that right down the highway from Pico de Gallo? That's what they were saying, yeah. Anyway, they escaped from the slaughterhouse. One of the poor cows. This is sad. They were all going to be killed anyway, unfortunately, for their meat. One of them charged a family of four and was shot and killed. Oh, what the hell, dude?
Starting point is 01:20:05 Sheesh. What's that family doing standing shot. Oh, what the hell, dude? Sheesh. What's that family doing standing there? Oh, yeah, like... Oh, look out! Just go inside. Yeah, they were out looking at the spectacle. The cow was like, yo, I'm gonna run...
Starting point is 01:20:14 Just go inside instead. Don't shoot him. Yeah, well, he got got. 30 or so of the cows have been routed up and there are still a few on the loose, according to the police report. They should mark up the price on the meat from these cows.
Starting point is 01:20:28 These are like the wild-ass ones. They got out. These are some exclusive cows. At what point? Wild-ass Wagyu. Nobody's wilder than the Wagyu boys. At what point do you let one or two of them run free? You know, like you guys earned this.
Starting point is 01:20:42 I don't think that. I don't know, man. You don't think there's a Disney movie that's like. Whoever's getting paid for this meat, I think he's probably the one that, like, you guys earned this. I don't think that... I don't know, man. You don't think there's a Disney movie that's like... Whoever's getting paid for this meat, I think he's probably the one who's like, nah, we're going to get all of them. Do they expect these cows to not, like, try to escape? They're in a slaughterhouse.
Starting point is 01:20:55 They've gone. Dave hates breaking news so much that the last two times I've been on the show, he's left. He's just left you? Good. He's left. Good.
Starting point is 01:21:04 Holy cow. One of the women at the scene said. Okay. Did she actually say that or are you just saying that? No, that's what they said. They also said steer clear for a few minutes, please. Stop. Stop it. We're in the process of moving the cows.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Next up. You're doing cow jokes still. No, that's what the new york post was doing uh my my sister publisher the new york post who deemed me a detroit style pizza influencer that's true happy pizza day i think according to somebody on my twitter it's every day but i think it's specifically detroit style pizza day anyway in weed news dylan, you burn, right? Oh, everybody knows I burn. Snoop Dogg says Pete Davidson can't hang while smoking pot. I love that. Somebody asked him on a podcast, hey, Snoop, who in your past have you, like, burned with that just can't hang?
Starting point is 01:22:01 He's like, Pete Davidson. Like, not even a question. Yeah, blew his top off last week, he said. That would be me, dude can't hang uh-uh i told you about the time i had ross's dude you were i've never seen you actually no i've seen you like that twice breckenridge charades charades in breckenridge if you don't mind me saying it's just the funniest thing in the world that was an that was an interesting experiment you weren't that high though you were like Laffy High. No, Dylan got up to act something out and had a big bag of nothing.
Starting point is 01:22:30 He probably had like a minute to prepare and Dylan just got up there and just looked at us. And it was like, yeah, Dylan, I don't... I'm on the headspace for this right now. The news, Dave, is that Snoop Dogg was asked on a podcast, who can't hang smoking weed with you?
Starting point is 01:22:45 His answer immediately was Pete Davidson. I can see that. But like Dylan, if you're with Snoop Dogg and he passes you the blunt, if he passes the Dutchie to the left-hand side, are you hitting that? I'm going to hit the blunt. It's going to put me on my ass. National Pizza Day is February 9th, by the way. I think it's
Starting point is 01:23:01 National Detroit-style Pizza Day specifically. Oh, that's sick. God, that's so bae. You're not wrong. Is it June 23rd? It is. Happy National Detroit-style Pizza Day. Really?
Starting point is 01:23:13 Thank you, Will. Thank you. As the influencer in the room, I appreciate that. The last person that Snoop Dogg said put Snoop to shame in weed performance was Willie Nelson. That would have been my guess. Amsterdam in 2007, he said.
Starting point is 01:23:31 More like Trilly Nelson. You don't have to do that. Oh, man. Dave, you're a Florida gator guy? I'm just not. You always love doing the gator chomp. You do it whenever you walk in the office. That's my go viral today.
Starting point is 01:23:47 Don't they call you the Florida hater? Are you aware of the gator infestation at Disney World? Yeah. Sadly, I am. It's a problem. In 2016, a two-year-old was killed. Yeah, dude. I hate that story.
Starting point is 01:24:02 In the park, unfortunately. Yeah, dude, I hate that story. In the park, unfortunately, which has spurred the Disneyland or Disney World, excuse me, officials to pay people $30 per gator to get them out the park. That's not enough for a gator. Alive. How much? $30? $30.
Starting point is 01:24:18 No, it's definitely not. The price on those gators' heads is not nearly high enough for me to just take them out of the park. I can go into my couch cushions right now and get more money and not die. Right. Or I could go just attempt to wrangle a gator. Why do you need so much money in your couch cushions, though? Get it out. Just spilling out, dude.
Starting point is 01:24:38 I was on the money phone the other day. Dude, you're built to spill. Spilling out. Here's the stipulation. Here's the stipulation. Every gator, no matter the size, is $30. If they're under four feet, they have to be relocated. If by chance they are above four feet,
Starting point is 01:24:56 you get the meat and leather rights to the gator. That changes everything. Right. So it's $30 to get up out of the park. But if you want the leather rights and the meat rights, they're yours. Leather rights sounds like a glam rock band in like 1986.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Yeah. Oi, it's leather rights. Welcome, Detroit. We love you. Hello, Detroit. This next song's called Bloody Crime Team. That's ridiculous. That's a clip.
Starting point is 01:25:29 Thank you, Ricky, for the leather rights cover. It's not the gators' fault. Did you guys know this, though? They have gators in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. I believe it's Lake Worth. Yeah, there's gators, man. Parts of the lake. That's just weird for me.
Starting point is 01:25:45 I thought they were putting gators in the Rio at the border. Wasn't that the? Greg Abbott? Yeah. I'm giving him time. I mean. I hope there's no gators at Rio because I'm trying to turn up there this weekend. Oh, there might be in the bathroom.
Starting point is 01:26:00 Gator tails. You know what I'm saying? Catch us at Claire. Will and Dave do Claire. And Brad. Thanks. Yeah, by the way, I'm around this weekend. I got nothing.
Starting point is 01:26:14 So we're not going to Clay in Houston? No. Bummer. No. Bummer. No. That table, I put down a deposit. That's fine.
Starting point is 01:26:22 You and I can go. Oh, you know what's funny? I put not even a full deposit. I just bought a table. That's at. You and I can go. Oh, you know what's funny? I put not even a full deposit. I just bought a table. It's a Dave's right now. Did that make it in the move? The bearded table? It's still there.
Starting point is 01:26:31 I'm bringing it up here. I have to do, I've got some Chippo boards that I'm bringing up here. Yeah. The washed media Chippo boards. And I've got your card table that's still in the packaging. Nice. In the plastic. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:44 That's it. So if we want the Gators, we can go get them. 30 bucks. In the plastic. Yeah. That's it. So, uh, if we want the gators, we can go get them. 30 bucks. I'm good. Probably free admission to the park, too. Hey, we're here to trap gators. They're not going to give you free admission. Disney doesn't give free admission to people. If we look the part, we'll be like, hey, we're here to trap gators. True.
Starting point is 01:26:59 Just saying. Bless you. Bless you, David. That's the sneeze you didn't get out earlier. Thank you. i'm glad you did that let's get out of here if your bar wasn't uh chosen for uh houston bar reviews uh we're going to do a round two at some point so just just stay tuned stay tuned okay bye Thank you.

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