Circling Back - Ten Beers With The Loch Ness Monster

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

Alfalfa got popped for huffing, a guy in China drank ten beers and his bladder exploded, The Loch Ness Monster has officially (not really) resurfaced in 2020, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (20:27) Alfalfa Huffing (28:23) Chinese Dude Should’ve Just Peed (41:26) Loch Ness Monster Returns (55:54) This Weekend in Fun --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will defries to my right david ruff how's your screen time looking in these uncertain times last i checked it was up 25 i haven't been looking at it because I don't want to see how out of control it's gotten. Who do you think has the worst screen time in this room right now? I think it's me. I don't think it's close. It's been a minute since I've looked at mine. Where is it?

You just go on your phone and just scroll over and it should be right there. Yeah, mine's definitely been up during all this time, which is not great. But that's just the way it is. It's so uncertain. Mine is down 30% from last week. Three hours and three minutes a day. That's not bad. Yeah, I'm proud of it.

Where'd you get that fact, that number? Dude, come on. You don't even know how to look at your screen. I don't look at it. I'm scared of it. You open your phone. this is for everyone out there who's like currently picking up their phone and trying to figure this out just open your phone and then scroll all the way to the left oh to the left and it should be on screen time right there mine's ridiculous today because i've been up since 5 a.m just chilling but yeah mine's an average of 342 a day

okay if i'm under four i'm i'm not necessarily happy but i'm not beating myself up if i'm over Yeah, mine's an average of $3.42 a day. Okay. If I'm under four, I'm not necessarily happy, but I'm not beating myself up. If I'm over four, it's like, dude, come on. I think we both have respectable numbers. Yes, yours is very respectable. Okay. At one point, I got mine to about $1.25 a day, and that was when I felt like I was fully optimized. This is sick, dude. I've got calendar, I've got stocks under it, and then I've got screen time.

This is just a trifecta. Click your screen time, dude. I've got calendar, I've got stocks under it, and then I've got screen time. This is just a trifecta. Click your screen time, dude. See what your weekly average is. I bet Dave's a stupid dick. Stupid. Oh, buddy, I think it's bad. I'm not going to out who this was, but the worst I've ever seen was upwards of eight hours a day. Mine's just a shade over seven.

Are you serious? Dude, what? And it's down 25% from last week. Are you playing words with friends or something? What's going on over there? No, I mean, I'm in, well, three active group texts. I like Twitter. You've got to reduce your notifications, dog.

Here's the thing. This is stupid because this computer doubles as a tablet. It's a laptop. I will just check all the social on my phone instead of just having Twitter open on my laptop. I don't even like reading

Twitter. I will go to Twitter to look at trending topics on my laptop, but I will not just scroll my timeline. Oh, I will. I'm a lappy. When I'm on the lappy, which isn't too often, I don't just hang out on my laptop, but I will not just scroll my timeline. Oh, I will. On my Lappy. When I'm on the Lappy, which isn't too often. I don't just hang out on my Lappy during the day. But yeah, the Twitter version on desktop is nice.

I just don't use it. If you're on the phone, is that screen time? I think the screen time only registers if it's lit up. So if your phone's to your ear, I think you're good. Mine is a weird case right now because since we got the whoop bands, Dave, or actually I'm going to bleep that out since we got the bands, I leave my strain coach open while I'm working out. Yeah.

And so it automatically has raised my screen time, but I'm not going to beat myself up over that. I'm just going to tell you that I've been working out so much and doing the same thing that that's what's the culprit here. You've just been putting up mad weight. Also, I was on the phone on hold and with different doctor's offices yesterday for about an hour and 10 minutes. That's fun. Got to tell you, man, there's nothing cooler than the referral system in modern medicine and healthcare. I can tell you, man, it's in no way a racket.

in modern medicine and healthcare. I can tell you, man, it's in no way a racket. It's completely user-friendly and cost-effective for the patient. So shout out to all the insurance providers out there. Do you want me to do a quick seminar with you about how to get your screen time down, Dave? Because I'd love to help. I thought you were going to say you were going to teach me how to do my own colonoscopy. No, I can do one for you. Yeah. I have love to help. I thought you were going to say you were going to teach me how to do my own colonoscopy. No, I can do one for you. Yeah.

I have a selfie stick and I feel like I can just put my phone on it. I don't think it works like that. How thick is it? This selfie stick? Give me the diameter. I don't know. It's like normal dude.

Normal dude? Yeah. Normal stick? It's a selfie stick? What? Getting the phone in there is going to be the tough part, though. Yeah, the phone's going to be the hard part, I think. Can you just use a GoPro?

You might be able to. Randy's got a GoPro, I think. I don't know if that's any friendlier for the people. Randy has a GoPro hat. Like, what are you doing? He's got a GoPro hat? Remember the- Strap.

He wears it on his head. Is that the thing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he's going spelunking? Dude, sometimes you just got to put a GoPro on your head. You have to GoPro. That should be a bet payoff. What?

You just have to go do basic tasks, like go get groceries with a GoPro on your head. I mean... So people were just like, what's this guy doing? Remember when Micah got the Snapchat specs and he was just going around doing stuff? He did a full karaoke performance with his Snapchat specs on. Oh, my God.

Has anything ever crashed and burned harder than the Snapchat spec? Don't answer that question, literally. I'm just saying it was just such a monumental failure. No, but think about all those glasses things. Remember Google Glass? Yeah, what happened to those? No one wants to wear that nerdy shit all the time. I remember Gary Vee.

Remember Gary Vee? Yeah. What you got to do, guys. Here you do it, man. You got to be an innovator. No, he was on the board, or he had a significant amount of ownership in Snap. And I remember hearing him on Rogan or some podcast talking about how Snap, it's not just Snapchat, it's about the brand Snap. Dude, it's a game changer.

No, he definitely said it. I know exactly what you're talking about. And talked about the Snap Glass as being a game changer. I remember the quality of the video being just really, really terrible. Yeah, like worse than your phone, notably. And that's kind of one of the reasons why it never caught on, maybe. Also, wearing... What are they called spec i don't

know snapchat spectacles yeah something like that he also had a signature shoe gary v yeah yeah yeah towards the end of our tenure i am gary v to out why why are these ceos thinking it's a good idea to do shoes honestly if someone approached us i would do a signature shoe well okay maybe maybe that was a dumb question for me because when you put it like that, 100%. If anyone ever came to me, what shoe company would you want the most to come to you and do a signature shoe? You don't even need to ask. Bird Dogs? Jordan. Allbirds?

Or that's what I meant. How is Bird Dogs not doing shoes yet? I'm horned up for this Bird Dogs read. They should do shoes. I'd wear the hell out of them. No, you know me. I would do Nike. I would be like Nike, but I want the option for Jordan.

I think I'd do like Vans or something because I would want like skate credibility, even though I have none. But having a Vans shoe would immediately give me some credibility. Seeing how clean and white your vans were the other day. Oh, I'm wearing them right now. And just the fact that you were wearing them made me want to get a pair of vans. These things are fluorescent. I told you, I went into a van store at the mall like three years ago and like, they didn't even, they just looked at me. Damn, David.

That's like when you and I went to the co-op and they didn't ask you if you were a member at the co-op, but I had like the beard and was dressed down and they ask you if you were a member at the co-op, but I had, like, the beard and was dressed down, and they asked me if I was a member, and it was like, yeah, Dave just got profiled. They profile me every time I go in there. I stick out like a sore thumb. Well, if I'm wearing a golf shirt and, like, khaki shorts, I feel like they think that I'm not one of them.

Well, yeah, they don't think that you care about the environment, dude. See, man, I like to break the mold. Are you on New Balance or what? You know, maybe. I got a lot of love for New Balance. Kawhi, too, man, me and Kawhi. Well, and his shoes are flames. Who else is on New Balance?

Who else is on that team? I assume a lot of baseball guys are. They're big in baseball now. New Balance, Adidas, Nike. I've been a Nike guy since day one, though, so I'm there with Dave. I love noobs, dog. I do, too. I wasn't saying that in an insulting way.

You having the Dorn signature New Balance shoe would be awesome. It would be the most dad shit ever. It would be a dad shoe that you can also vibe with. Yeah. Dunk with? Well, you could wear them to the barn shit too. Are you going to be high tops for more ankle support? No, they'll be low.

This is huge, man. Noted Oklahoma City Thunder sensation, Darius Bazley. Bazley. He's a New Balance guy. Yeah, he's kind of a hybrid, small forward, power forward. Average 2019, four and a half points. Okay. Shooting 38% from the field.

Dude, go off. 3.7 rebounds and half an assist. He's contributing. Young player. He's contributing. He's a rookie. But Kawhi, I mean, he's a top player. Kawhi is the standard bearer for one of the, he's a top five. Kawhi is the, is the standard bearer

for them. Which is my favorite kind of bear. Standard bear. Kawhi's tight, dude. His shoes are absolutely terrible. No, they're tight.

Are they worse than the Currys? They're fucking sick. No, the Currys are bad. The Currys are, I think the Currys are worse for me. Oh, the Currys are, are trash.

I hate saying, I love, I love Steph Curry's are worse oh the Curry's are trash I hate saying I love I love Steph Curry but his shoes are awful best J of all time ooh that's pretty good bang it's not and we isn't it's not Steph Curry good you know what about clay they used to call me back in the day the splash brother really yeah I didn't and they were taught they were doing it in reference to my like sister like i was the brother of her but i'm the splash brother oh i don't really get it but she have like a wet jay or something no she just like you know she's just like my sister i'm the brother yeah she loved to do cannonballs yeah she's a big yeah okay so they used to call me

brother they used to call me the no splash brother because of my toothpicks she just did like a mean can opener are you talking about my sister doing can openers maybe that's what he's talking about yeah yeah yeah we were on a family zoom call the other day and i was like where's where's betsy and somebody's like oh she's on a 10-day camping trip and i was like god she's so much tighter than me 10 days i'm not doing 10-day camping trip where is she i don't know she's in the bam she's off the gray area she's she in the Banff, Vancouver area? She's probably in Banff or Vancouver. Dude, it's hot. You could probably track her down if she's in Yellowstone.

It's not that big. Yeah, it's true. I feel bad for the meme I put out earlier on circling back, but I had to do it. What was it? It was a shocked seagull that was just in awe of Brett's geography takes. Come on, dude. Let me see. Oh, man, you really did it to him there.

Dude, go follow Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram. Just make it happen. It's a good meme. I just memed it. Oh, you made that? Yeah, I was just bored. It's a Will original. I was just chilling this morning.

Dude, Brett's awesome at geography, though. We should enter him in a local geography beat and see what happens. I feel bad because I feel like he probably might be like better than me but like his track record is just brutal right now i'm terrible but i keep my mouth shut most of the time because i don't want to say anything dumb it's going to come back and bite me in the ass you know yeah that's understandable hey we got some programming notes are you you guys ready for this? Yes. Happy Hour Live tonight. Special guest. Dude, he texted to confirm like five minutes ago.

I'll believe it when I see it, but word on the street is that Ross Bolin is going to be on tonight. If it's anything like his performance at tee times, then I'm going to be let down five minutes before. But I have faith. If he's texting you about it, then I've got faith. He texted me unsolicited this morning, like 10 minutes ago. Confirming. Go to YouTube.com slash Washington Media. He'll be on about 7.15.

Okay. Also, yesterday we did the stream room, Dazed and Confused. If I do say so, I think yesterday might have been the best one. I think it might have been the best one yet. You think so? Yeah. I don't like saying that because I feel like people say that a lot about podcasts. Like, oh, this is the best one we've ever done.

No, that was the most fun I had. I think it was the most natural one we've done. We're really coming into our own. Take it easy. It's good. It's good. Oh, yeah. Next week, we're doing Rounders.

Go round. What a movie. Not as good of a soundtrack, probably. I don't know. I don't know. It's hard to say. Honestly, if you tune in, if you're new here, what you just heard me do, doing a little fog hat,

I do that the entire episode. I sing random songs. Dave, we want people to actually subscribe and listen. Slow down. Dave, you might want to holster the takes about this not being as good because The Counting Crows are on the Rounders soundtrack. Can I guess what song? I don't think you're going to get it, but you can try, yeah.

Long December. No. It should be. It should be. But it's not. Mr. Jones. Baby, I'm a big star now. That song stinks.

Mr. Jones was a song that we would sing at pretty much every party. Mr. Jones is a top 5 90s song. Top 10 90s song. Honestly, I think it five 90s song. Top ten 90s songs. Honestly, I think it's on the Mount Rushmore of 90s songs, something that we should probably do at some point for ourselves. No, we probably shouldn't. Dude, I love 90s songs. You just hate them.

Give me one other song from that soundtrack that might make me interested. Oh, man, I just clicked out. That's fine. You know how long IMDb takes to load? People – I saw someone say that potentially that dazed and confused that we we aren't picking movies that are culturally relevant and to that i say what huh uh what uh yeah i guess a movie with mcconaughey and affleck is not culturally relevant i mean yeah i don't know if you're familiar with those guys.

People are exhausting. Yeah, I'm not trying to change the world with our podcast called The Stream Room. Yeah, Pete, if you want a serious movie take about something that's culturally relevant, this might not be your podcast, and that's okay. I would argue that they are culturally relevant, even though it's a movie that's, what, 35 years old? Okay. That movie, it's culturally relevant to these guys. American Pie, Out Cold, Days in Confused.

That's the lineup so far. The whole thing is we're doing older movies. Maybe we'll mix in a newer one. I don't know. I just don't have any desire to drop $20 on anything that's not a Marvel movie. That was a reference to The King of Staten Island, which is expensive. I know in retrospect, I get it. Relative, it's what you're going to spend at going to the movie.

But still, $20 to watch it on my couch. Unless I'm owning the movie and it has Thanos in it. I don't want to drop 20 can we get that option when like movies are released in theater to do that to rent it from i would i would like that option big movie won't let us let it happen they make too much on concessions it's true yeah it's true big movie lobbyists just working overtime i love paying 750 for a giant thing of sour patch kids that make my tongue raw for two days just do it don't i love it dude me and the homie love going to the theater and yeah i do spend like 25 I love paying $7.50 for a giant thing of Sour Patch Kids that make my tongue raw for two days. Just do what Dylan does. I love it.

Dude, me and the homie love going to the theater. And, yeah, I do spend, like, $25 on snacks. It's like a little ritual we have. It's fun, man. Before all this uncertainty, Dylan and I went and saw a movie together, and he smuggled in hot tamales up his butt. Yeah, I did. I could have just put them in my pocket. You had them in a little rubber.

I wanted to feel dangerous. Were you dressed like the Joker? Oh, man. No. You wouldn't get it. What does a homie eat at the movies? Well, he loves popcorn. So we get a tub, light on the butter, but some butter, and then he picks out one candy.

He usually goes Starburst Bites. He likes popcorn so much, the last time I took him to a movie, which was like six months ago, he just brought a Yeti full of popcorn. Wow. Yeah, he did. Brought a Yeti coffin full of popcorn. Like the big-ass one. And we had it just like under our feet, and we like rested our feet on it,

and when we wanted popcorn, popped it open and just had one of those big like ice shovels. Really? And we were just, yeah. Dude, that's sick. We had a lot of popcorn that day. He does popcorn, Starburst Bites, and then I get him a water. Dude, imagine the homie imagine the homie laying flat in the the giant yeti covered in popcorn and then just him

just shooting up like the undertaker dude that sounds awesome he likes to play with it you know all these seats are electric now you can recline them and bring them back up oh at amc they are oh yeah that's what we go to he loves that that shit. He loves playing with it, man. He goes down and back up. Like, dude, you got to stop. I love it when people do that in the middle of the movie. Yeah, if I'm next to the homie doing that, like, I'm tattling. Yeah, I'm going to hit the little button and get somebody over there.

Like, can you get this little dude to – I'm snitching for sure. He's tight in there. He's well-behaved. He's good for about an hour 15. Then he's like – he starts getting real restless, and we usually duck out before the movie ends. That's good.

Most movies are 75 minutes long, so that's awesome. Yeah. Hey, we have one last piece of programming notes. You ready for this? Don't forget to check out the rest of the Wash Media Network. Club Cool. Starring Barrett Dudley and Phil Batalia. Video coming soon.

Woo, buddy! Oh, dog. The Mail In. Sunday Scaries Podcast. Just go subscribe to them all. Video coming soon. Woo, buddy. Oh, dog. The mail-in. Sunday Scaries podcast. Just go subscribe to them all. Make it happen. Should we maybe not have them do video because they'll immediately be

the most handsome podcast on the network? Yeah. We're no dogs, Dave. We're not dogs, but I mean, they just... They're hot dudes. I get it. They've got faces for this. And I'm just saying that

as Bird Dogs made clear, I don't. Yeah, should we make Phil do it shirtless? So he can show off his tattoos? Those fire tats. It will immediately be the edgiest podcast. Well, that's obvious. Just because of Phil's presence. Those guys can dress, man.

Oh, they're hot. I haven't seen Phil in like six months. Oh, I love seeing him when he comes in now. You've left too early the last two times. Nicest guy in North America. Nah. I think he's a jerk. Nicest guy.

Not a big Phil guy. He's kind of North America. Nah. I think he's a jerk. Nicest guy. Not a big Phil guy. He's kind of a bitch. Yeah. Yeah, I hate Phil. You know what I love, though? Bird dogs. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

These are gym shorts with a built-in silky soft inner liner that makes underwear obsolete. Can you imagine wearing underwear in 2020? Oh, I liked it. No. No. It's just gross, dude. It's just uncomfortable underwear in 2020? No. It's just gross, dude. It's just uncomfortable. Get out of here. What if I told you that there were these fast-drying shorts

that you could, I don't know, wear just out? Go have some beers? You could work out in them? You could go swimming in them? Dave, you can do a pencil in them? I would tell you that I've done all of those things in Bird Dog shorts, so I already know about them. Dude, they're so comfortable. You can watch Dylan do a trash-flying squirrel in them. They do have swimsuits as well it's just amazing stuff over there they also have pants i need the weather to cool down just a tad so i can rock these on the

golf course for the first time because i've just been waiting to do it this entire time i'm so excited dude they're they're good for golf because they're athletic feeling but you can also they're you can class them up and wear them out. I have some that I've worn as a swimsuit that has belt loops. And you know me, I don't do belts in 2020, but that option's there if I ever need to pivot and go a little formal. I'm going to find you in a belt sometime this year. Yeah, I'm going to start outing you whenever you wear a belt.

I'm going to belt you if you don't shut up. I'm going to drag you when you finally do. All right, well, I think that's aggressive. I was just going to take a photo and then like post it but like i didn't think it was gonna be that bad uh whatever dude bird dogs rock i love them i'd say i'm wearing them right now but i'm regrettably not and i kind of wish i was dumbass i wish they made a jean, a denim, with a liner. They'll get there. I want nothing more than to just slide into some jeans

with a liner. They're living in 2030. Liner jeans. Something. Bird dogs can pull it off. If anybody can, it's... Ooh. Bird dogs. Hey, they're doing a... Will, you were probably about to get to this, but go to birddogs.com, enter promo code STEAM.

Dude, they're giving away free bird dogs face masks. I forgot my mask today. I need it. Hopefully they can get one here before the end of the pod. Yeah, what the hell, man? I don't know. It's asking a lot. It says here it's like a condom, but for your mouth, Will.

It's what it says. Yeah, go to birddogs.com, enter promo code STEAM, and they'll throw in a free bird dogs face mask. And like Dave said, it's like a condom for your mouth. Yeah. Which we've all been looking for those. Condoms are traditionally known for safe sex, Dylan. Yeah. I know what a condom does, Dave. You'll get a free bird dogs face mask along with your pair of bird dogs. They're actually very

quality mask, and they'll feel like your auntie sewed it for you. That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom! A free bird dogs face mask with your pair of bird dogs. You'll not take these things off. I, a free Bird Dogs face mask with your pair of Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off. I promise you. We have some sad news coming out of the Little Rascals camp, guys.

Me and T. Uh-oh. Alfalfa. He got popped two nights ago. His name's Bug. What? Of course. Of course there's just ads everywhere.

Oh, I just made the mistake of clicking that link. Dude, what the hell? Sort it out, guys. His name's Brandon, but Bug is what people call him. You don't want to be called Bug. Can I say something here? Terrible nickname. Okay. He was arrested for possession for use to inhale or ingest a volatile chemical.

We've all been there. Why are we arresting people for this? I'm not to get on my soapbox, but, like, dude, like, this guy's obviously addicted. I think this stuff is very addicting. I've never, you know, fun fact about me, I've never huffed, never even done a whippet. I've seen you do it. No, no, I was listening to Devo. Is doing a whippet huffing or, yeah, right?

Like whippets are in the huffing family? Yeah, I think maybe genus. Aren't whippets just frying your brain cells? Yeah, yeah, they are. They are. Have you ever done one? No. Be honest.

Hell no. You know why I'm scared to do it is because you always hear about dudes who overdo it going brain dead. And, like, they're never the same. And it was enough for me to never want to do it once i've never no never even i've done it i've done it and i haven't done it that's not something i've done often but i've done it and i have to say it it does feel good but i was pretty young when i did it and didn't realize the implications of doing it it was like whoa that was cool what's the chemical in there that's doing it you Dude, you can't even look it up.

Yeah, you really can't. Yeah, no one knows. The closest I've come to huffing is inhaling helium from a balloon. Dude, have you guys watched Little Rascals recently at all? No. You've never gotten Little Rascals off for the homie? Dude, this guy's a sneaky 6'1". Look at his mugshot.

Dude, sneaky 6'1". That does not look like him from the from the movie obviously it was a long time ago he's changed but yeah he doesn't have hair sticking up his head you dumbass well if he's huffing now that changes it's i'll uh i'll go ahead and expose myself i i've never seen any of the little rascals you might get arrested if you do stuff interesting never seen it i know i'm familiar with all the characters i know that like their relevance in pop culture Never seen it. I'm familiar with all the characters.

I know their relevance in pop culture. They're culturally relevant. But I don't. I've never actually sat down and been like, all right, let's watch some Little Rascals. I just, for whatever reason, my childhood skipped that. I totally dorned it. Don't call it dorn. We tossed it on recently because it was just like on some random stream.

I think it was on HBO or something. We were like, I don't know. We're tired anyway. Just toss on Little Rascals and let's see if it's any good anymore. So we've watched it in the last three weeks. Really? Yeah, I don't really know why. Dave, you're not missing a whole lot. I can't believe this guy's only 35.

That surprises me. Although it makes a strange... They were chilled by it when they did the movie. It was a cast full of... It's not like they could not have authentically little kids in this. That's kind of the entire point of the movie. Right.

Man, gotta say, just shout out to USA Today for having the least user-friendly website of the week for me. Yeah, it's cool. I have four videos playing at one time right now. Yeah, it's a little overwhelming. That's not what you want. There was randomly... There's an issue, I think.

I don't know if it's, like, it's not, like, across all of the English Premier League, but there's one player who keeps getting in trouble for huffing. And it's like, dude, what are you doing? I don't understand that. Did you, the closest I've come to huffing was, like, in elementary school In elementary school we knew like you weren't supposed to sniff the markers And like you would smell it And you'd be like oh my god dude I'm getting a buzz man

Oh my god dude I'm getting a buzz Travolta was there Oh my god the buzz in Sandy I mean were the markers that smelled like fruit Like were those just killing us slowly Yes I think so. Because I was just all over them. No, the watermelon.

It was a watermelon. Oh, the grape one was my shit. Oh, my God. Surely the ones that were for kids were non-toxic. Surely. Dylan's like, I never sniffed them. I knew that was irresponsible at the time. He just smuggled them.

I don't smoke stuff. They used to call you the marker coyote. Just putting Pop-Tarts and markers up your butt. Something about putting stuff up my butt, man. Pop-Tart would be tough. Yeah, it's going to crumble. It's going to compromise the... About the size of an iPhone,

so if you put it on a selfie stick, we can try it. Might be easier to retrieve. We're not going to try that. You're not going to give me a colonoscopy with a selfie stick that has a Pop-Tart attached to it. It's just not going to happen. I will say, this is a really sad story about this guy.

It's one one-hundredth as sad as the Sean Weiss from the Mighty Ducks. That's meth, right? Oh, that guy. What's sad about him is that he got arrested for it, and then it looked like he was really bringing himself back, and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, arrested again. And it was just like, oh, my God, dude. Someone's got to help him.

The pictures of him, it's very sad so they have to prove the intent to like use this for um you know nefarious purpose oh man i would love i need to see the uh probable cause affidavit are you prepared to represent him pro bono i am not okay the i already have one client, and it's the Austin protester rollerblade lady. Yeah. And in that case, it's actually on appeal. So I'm having to prepare a very long, lengthy brief, so I might be taking a hiatus. But yeah, no, this— What if this dude was just having an ice cream social, and he just bought a bunch of Ready Whip?

Did they check the freezer for ice cream wow see this is will you've got what you should represent this guy i know i know uh oh he's also you can't handle the truth this guy's the fucking ice cream this guy was in the stupids is that in that the tom arnold movie i never saw the stupids he wasn't the the Big Green. Did you watch the Big Green? The Big Green was the soccer movie, right? Oh, yeah. The Big Green was dope. So this guy has some chops, man. I hope he figures it out.

I hope they don't throw this guy into the system and ruin his life. That had the tubby kid from St. Lot in it, right? Big Green? Oh, yeah. He was the goalie. That was filmed in Austin, too. The goalie! Really?

Yeah. Actually, a lot of it was filmed in my middle school. All right. At this point, I don't even know if I believe you. Marcus in middle school, man. We'll name the movie. Really? Yeah. Actually, a lot of it was filmed at my middle school. All right. At this point, I don't even know if I believe you. Marcus in middle school, man. We'll name the movie. Ready? Zagoli.

D2. It's when, yeah. It's like, oh, my God, dude, they switched goalies, and now he's going to do the knuckle puck. It's going to take 15 seconds for him to set it up. I'm going to out-climb right now. You ready for this yeah i he's been he's been guiding me through my quad injury which i think is close to healing and uh not a

major injury by any means but i i texted him with him yesterday about it because he asked how i was doing and i was like dude i kind of adam banks that i woke up and i thought the pain was gone and he missed the reference yeah he missed the reference first time around and i had to call him out and i was like dude did you just miss that he tried to backtrack and he missed the reference. Yeah, he missed the reference first time around and I had to call him out. And I was like, dude, did you just miss that? He tried to backtrack and he sent me the gif of him rotating the stick, but it was just too little too late for me. I'm a little worried.

You know, you probably caught him while he was playing one of the many rounds of golf he's been playing. Yeah, no, I did actually. He was like, yeah, I'm actually heading back to Dallas. I just played a Blue Jack. Oh, play Blue Jack. I was like, oh, that's nice, dude.

I look forward to never playing there because I won't get invited. He was one under through seven, which is tight. One under through seven? Mm-hmm. What a jerk. It didn't go well after that. I'm sorry. What a jerk. But you know a client can go low.

Man, shout out. Good thoughts for Bug Hall, man. That's a bummer. Yeah, it's too bad. I've told this before. There was people in my high school that would huff Freon from the air conditioning unit on the side of houses

at parties. That just sounds like a terrible idea. Yeah. It just freezes and crystallizes your brain cells for like 10 seconds. That doesn't sound tight. Oh, no. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to huff anymore. Sounds like long-term damage there, Dave.

Yeah. Do you guys want to hear about some long-term damage even further? Some good news, maybe? No. I mean, no. This is more bad news, honestly. This dude in China, he drank 10 beers.

You guys ever drink 10 beers before last night? Don't, don't a big zillion beers. Yeah. Let's stop dude. Actually. No, I, I pretty much just do one now. Yeah. Is this guy, he's clearly not a listener.

Is this over a period of 10 days? Um, no, it wasn't. No, he drank. Yeah. What's he doing? It says, uh, this man's bladder was torn apart from holding urine, and for 18 hours after he drank 10 bottles of beer and fell asleep, Mr. Hu in China was exhausted after his boozy night out and went straight to bed.

The 40-year-old was said to not have used the toilet since he started drinking. He was sent to the hospital after waking up the next day with sharp abdominal pain, and they found that his bladder was ruptured in three places due to not peeing. So 10 times a 12-ounce bottle, that equals 120 ounces, fluid ounces. I don't know. Are we sure that these are 12-ounce bottles? Maybe. Crush that formula.

Maybe they could be 16, in which case that would make that number even higher. Maybe it's one of the little 8-ounce Corona. 160 ounces, I think. Coronas. This is a bad hangover. Coronitas is what they're called. Coronitas. Now, if you do 10 Coronitas and you're only getting. 160 ounces, I think. Coronas. This is a bad hangover. Coronitas is what they're called. Coronitas. Now, if you do 10 Coronitas

and you're only getting like 60 ounces, right? Yeah. We used to think that was funny to do, by the way. If like people gave us money to get them beer because we had like the fake ID, there was always one dude, he'd be like, can I get Corona? We'd be like, yeah, man.

And we'd bring him back the baby bottles. That's funny, dude. No, it's not. I thought it was funny not I'm mad at you you'd be on site you said you wanted 12 here you go I'd be drinking out of your cooler all night dude ah fool I had a buddy and he

it's my favorite thing in the world his dad his dad and him were drinking and they went to B-Dubs and they drank what he said was 10 23 ounce beers they have the giant like you know the b-dubs beers yeah yeah he said that he was just absolutely hammered and 10 is a lot he went to the bathroom numerous times he said his dad just sat there never peed once and just stood still the entire

time i've got friends like that i don't understand it if i drink i can first of all even if i have a bathroom that i can easily access i can only drink like two or three of those. Those big ass. Yeah. Like the draft beer hits me harder and it goes right through me. By the third big B-dubs beer, I'm just like. You're drunk. Hammered.

Yeah. Why didn't he pee himself? That's the question. Yeah. How do you not do that? I don't know. Some people don't pee themselves. Well...

I don't, but I wake up and go to the bathroom. You know what I mean? One of the two has to happen. Either you're waking up and going to the bathroom, or you're just going to wet the bed. I don't understand how this guy just walked back to his crib and was like, all right, I'm just going to hit the hay. Going to the bathroom seems like a big effort after drinking 10 beers.

Like, come on, dude. Just do it. How many beers can you drink without peeing, if that's the contest? How long do I have to withhold the pee-pee? Like, because if I pound three beers, can I wait, is it 10 minutes or an hour? No, you just have to finish the beers i don't care if you finish your 10th beer and immediately go pee after then it counts i want to say three but it's probably two how many could you do uh three three or four i don't have i'm not like big bladder guy

at all we know that you're not mini bladder guy though no i'm somewhere between you two probably closer to dave though you have a big boy bladder. Yeah, my bladder is formidable. It's formidable. I don't think there's any question here that I have the strongest bladder in the room. I'll give you that. You're a bladder boy. But once you crack the seal, is there science behind that, or is it just

like a thing? Breaking the seal? I don't know. I don't know. So, the worst I've ever had to pee uh the drive from san marcos to austin people people would go out in austin on like thursday night that was a big deal so we would drink pre-game and then somebody would drive us designated of course, up to Austin. And me, being a bladder boy, I would try to hold it.

And we got into Austin once, and I was like, I can't wait. Like, it was hurting my kidneys. I could feel it in my kidneys. And you know that gas station right off the service road on the 6th Street exit where, like, notoriously for fights. Yeah, it's a sketchy spot. I ran out, and I was like, I'm going to get arrested for this, but I just went out and I just peed on the side of it. Did you get away with it?

Somehow got away with that, yeah. But it was like one of those pees that it, like, hurt because, like, I'd been holding it for so long. I was leaving 6th Street once, and we were walking to a parking garage where we parked, and I had to pee so bad that I decided to just pee in the in the parking structure there cop rolls up and uh i before i finished i i tucked and acted like i was just standing there i i put my pants back up i just peed all down my leg i tried to play out like i

wasn't peeing he goes so what's that he's like uh you got me sir i i was peeing you should have been like i something else it was just all down my leg. Did you get popped? He gave me a very stern talking to and let me go. Yeah. I just get pee fright in those situations. Like, I can't have anyone around me. You know what?

I'm going to grandstand. Peeing in public should be legal. No. Decriminalize urinating in public. Defecating, like doo-doo. Way to use your platform, David. Doo-doo is out. Pee-pee you should be able to do.

It's just pee-pee. What do homeless people do? They just go to gas stations and stuff? No, they just pee in public. Dude, they probably, yeah, man. Doo-doo though? What about doo-doo? I've often, I've wondered that.

You know, Dylan, I've never thought about the doo-doo side of things. They got a doo-doo somewhere, man. They have it rough. Everybody poops. Everybody. Tarot go me. Everybody. If if you pee in grass it has to be in in grass you cannot pee on sidewalks or streets any concrete brick you have to pee in the grass that's yes i totally agree this morning i let rosie out and she peed on the pavement before the dog park so It's so gross.

And I was just like, what are you doing right now? Dude, walking Randy yesterday, he took a duke on the – he normally will go a couple steps into the yard, and I'll clean it up. He just did it right on the sidewalk. I'm like – I respect it. Well, and the problem is you clean it up as best you can, but there's still trace elements of the dew.

So you're like, what am I going to come back with a power washer? Like, I feel like a jerk now. Maybe you should. I did. I rented one from Lowe's. So, yeah, what was it? What? What was his story?

His bladder busted. He didn't die, did he? No. No, he didn't die. How do you fix a ruptured bladder? Our boy Who is good right now. Did you unrupture it? Oh, that's a good point.

I didn't think of it like that. See, the picture that they're using for this, though, is they're drinking out of steins. There's no way he drank 10 steins of beer. Was this Oktoberfest? It's the Singtau. Is there also some Wiesenkoks there? Yeah, this guy's just hopped up on Wiesenkoks.

Maybe that's what happened. Dude, that would not be pretty. He just rolls into the hospital with just white stuff all over his face. No, dude, it's legal. Is it hypocritical of me to be anti-Huffing but pro-Wiesenkoks? No, because Wiesenkoks is just more of a ceremonial thing that doesn't actually do anything to you. That's fair.

Whereas huffing actually kills your brain. Even if you do it off your friend's penis, as they do at Oktoberfest. When we first saw that video, it was like, yeah, these guys are doing, they're all coked up and they think they're invincible. That makes sense as to why they're doing that. But once you find out that Visencox is not actually a drug,

it's like, wait, so why are you doing it off of your boy's piece? It's never really made sense. You have to do it responsibly. What if you were huffing out of your boy's piece? That wouldn't be good. I just don't know how to. I think that would be a different sexual act, David. You can't just huff out your boy's pee.

I'm just thinking of ways to make it safer for everybody. That's noble of you, but I think that might be a fruitless endeavor. Or fruitful, depending on how you think about it. Which markers are you huffing? Hey, I got breaking news. Can we do Dave's breaking news? Yeah, do it. Brooks Koepka will withdraw from the Travelers

after his caddy tests positive for coronavirus. I missed the name. Who's this? Brooks Koepka. Oh, he's a big name. Brooks Koepka. Do you see Justin Thomas? No.

Oh, the whoop band. Yeah, Justin Thomas said that he's making everyone get whoop bands. Dude, Dave and I are in the forefront of technology. This is 20 minutes after you wanted to not mention their names. I know. No, dude, that's awesome, man. Do you see Chad's text that he just sent us? No.

It's about that. Dude, we're whoop boys. Oh, dude, it's all. He's got a take. It's not just JT's crew It's all people on the tour God dang it, Will When they IPO

I'm all in I'm all in So if people don't know what we're talking about This is not an ad, they don't pay us yet Maybe they will It would be a lot cooler if they did Oh, I get it, dude Oh, that's a callback.

Dude, check us out on Patreon. Sick. Will and I are obsessed with this whoop band. So Will's a Peloton guy, as you may be aware. So he got this whoop band. You wear it, and it sends metrics to the ab, measures like heart rate, heart rate variability, respiratory rate, how much you've recovered, how hard you should go on your next workout if your body's still

recovering. Anyway, when Nick Watney last week withdrew, it came out that he was tracking it on it. He was tracking his numbers on the whoop band and he saw his respiratory rate. Don't ask me how it tracks it. Don't ask me what that means. I think that's how many breaths you take in a minute, don't ask me how it tracks it don't ask me what that means i think that's how many breaths you take in a minute whatever it spiked and they've got so this company whoop they did some studies they had peer-reviewed studies done and it shows that it can detect when your body is fighting off infection it can't tell you what the infection is but when your immune system is compromised based on these numbers spiking like up to two days before you show symptoms. So that's a thing.

And now everybody's getting a whoop band. And I'll be honest, I've been checking mine religiously to make sure my numbers are good. So shout out to them. They're about to become, I'm sure the guys who run that company are already multimillionaires. They're going to probably flirt with a Billy. Chad's trying to say that this is all hogwash because Justinin thomas has a stake in the company but i don't care i've been reading the studies i have been looking it up because you can look this up and i stand behind it so i'm in you can't look it up dude you can look it up all right let's talk about our friends over at hawthorne what kind of steak does he have dude It's a strip.

A big one. Big boy steaks. Wow, Chad going full. I just see this other text. Yeah. Dude, smelling good is important, and Hawthorne smells real good. Getting Hawthorne cologne is so easy. We've all done it.

All you have to do is you sign on to their website. You take a quiz, and it tells you everything you need to know about your scent profile. Pop quiz, hot shot. Sorry. Anything else, Dylan? No. Just profile. Pop quiz, hot shot. Sorry. Are you just doing anything else, Dylan? No. Just kidding. Just tanking ad reads.

That's all I have. Dude, I got so many scents. I also got body wash, shampoo. Your boy even got some aluminum-free deodorant. How about that? Aluminum-free. I'm out. I need some more.

I need to re-up. I'm going to do that after this. Yeah, I can tell you're out because you smell like shit. All you have to do to get Hawthorne and get these things tailored to you is take a quick two-minute quiz, and Hawthorne tells you the two colognes that are best for you. One for work, and then one for... Are you ready for this? Play. Yeah.

It's totally risk-free with free shipping and free returns. I love this stuff. One thing I like about it the most is just how it looks in my shower. I know that's a really materialistic thing to say, but it just looks dope. The branding of it is just perfect. And you open the box and it's like, wait, how much did I pay for this? Because I should have paid more. It looks elite.

It's classy. It's minimalist, but it's like, wow, this is top-tier stuff. It backs it up, too. It backs it up. How are you smelling? You know I smell tight. You do. You've been smelling good lately.

It's all due to Hawthorne. Check out Hawthorne at hawthorne.co. That's Hawthorne with an E. And use promo code CIRCLINGBACK to get 10% off your first purchase. That's H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E.co. And use your code CIRCLINGBACK to get 10% off your purchase. Hawthorne dot C-O. Big news.

Dude, people are wondering if the Loch Ness Monster is back. Nessie? Nessie, dude. Never went away, man. Our underwater ally. Never went away. So, admittedly, I've been kind of a nerd historically when it comes to the Loch Ness Monster. For some reason, in eighth grade, I decided to do a research project on it

because we could do it on any myth. Is this like thunderstorms because you were scared of it? No, no. I wasn't scared of this one. But I was talking to my teacher and he was a cool teacher.

And I was talking to him and I was like, yeah, I kind of want to do something different than these other lame things that people are doing. Yeah, yeah. And he's like,

dude, you should do the Loch Ness Monster. Was this the same teacher that was going to take the senior class to a whitewater rafting trip and then he bailed to go like hook up with a flight attendant? What was Rod doing? That.

No offense to the kids that Rod left behind and saved by the bell, but like, I get it. If I'm Rod and there's a hot flight attendant, it sounds a little better to hang out with her than to go take a bunch of kids whitewater rafting. There's no way he made those kids sign waivers. And let me also say Rod put off the vibes of the kind of teacher that would probably try to hook up with the student. Oh, yeah. He was going to try to hook up with Kelly.

Yeah. So it's probably for the best. Rod went in a different direction. Did you know Zach and Lisa Turtle apparently dated behind the scenes? Nice. She's not doing well. Oh. She's got mental issues, unfortunately. She does. Nice. She's not doing well. Oh. She's got mental issues,

unfortunately. She does. Jesus. I hope she gets better, though. I was a big Lisa Turtle guy. I thought it was kind of mean how she treated Screech, but now that Screech is a creep,

we're allowed to shit on him, too. Dustin Diamond. That guy's a major creep, man. Are you guys ready for this Loch Ness Monster movie? Dude, I'm reading about... Yes. God.

A photograph of the mystery creature was taken by a tourist and it sparked debate over for this Loch Ness Monster movie? Dude, I'm reading that. Yes. God. A photograph of the mystery creature was taken by a tourist, and it sparked debate over whether the Loch Ness Monster is back. Steve Chalice from Southampton. Actually, that's the team I saw when I went to the Chelsea game, guys. Okay. He claims that he took the picture of what he describes as a big fish while on holiday in Scotland. It was estimated about 30 feet away, and it's about 8 feet long.

And if you've seen this photo, it doesn't look like she's a big fish to me. But all the photos of the Loch Ness Monster has this long neck. Well, yeah, but Nessie, I believe, is her name. She's just underwater, man. Oh, Dylan. She's not peeking out. She's going for a little swim,

stretching her fins out a little bit. Just breaching. She's probably looking for fish and chips. That's a common cuisine in that part of the world. Is it? This looks fake. This looks photoshopped. Dude, it doesn't look that photoshopped to me.

That's the concern here. Scotland. Good job, Dylan. Dylan, Scotland's free! Do you have any... Braveheart. Is there any part of you guys that believes that the Loch Ness Monster is real?

Mel Gibson's canceled, David. Yeah, we're canceling Mel Gibson. Oh, shit. The Loch Ness Monster is totally real. What are you talking about? There's a picture of it right here. In my research project on the Loch Ness Monster, I deduced that the Loch Ness Monster

was not, in fact, real. Oh, you were a boy out, kid. Dude, you crushed that. No imagination. project on the Loch Ness Monster, I deduced that the Loch Ness Monster was not in fact real. That was my initial take as the 8th grader. No imagination. 8th grade me had a big ass brain on it. Did you get an A on that? Oh, of course I did, dude. If the teacher selects your topic for you, you're always going to get an A. It's near and dear to them.

Dude, that's an alligator gar. That's not an alligator. They don't have alligators in scar what's a gar alligator gar it's like a hybrid fish that's scary as shit it's what clay was holding flounder on to fly in the trinity river a couple weeks back a big boy that's i don't like that that exists yeah no you know what i she this probably exists in some capacity in like there's so many under or excuse me on what's the word i'm looking for the unknown species of fish in the ocean or where what is this a lake what is this a sound it's a lot is it a puget lock dude is it a pewd puget i don't know i don't know that

it's a lock that's what it's called. What is a lock? It's a sports lock. It's a lake. It's your gambling pick of the week that you just can't miss. Lock is the Irish, Scottish, Gaelic, and Scots word for lake. So it's a lake. It's a likeness monster. I was right here.

That's a little bit, okay, that makes me. They call me the likeness monster. Because you know the ocean, they say there's like a million. Undiscovered. Undiscovered. I don't know there's like a million undiscovered. I don't know if it's a million, but it's a lot. But that can include tiny, tiny bacteria and stuff. Maybe.

Whatever, man. Either way, I don't know what I'm talking about. But let me just say, I don't think this is real. But there probably is some wild-ass fish. But this looks fake. According to this article, a digital photography expert has also cast doubts on the picture, stating that it is likely Photoshop may have been used due to the color saturation and indistinct lining of the supposed animal in the main picture. The indistinct lining of the animal in the picture is because Loch Ness is deep and dark.

That's what it is. The saturation I can understand maybe maybe but i don't know i might just i might just go back on this and just say that it's real i'm making it real to my eighth grade project yeah it's real i mean it's right there let me see due to its great depth it is the largest by volume in the british isles dude stupid deep how deep is this bitch deep dude at least 20 000 at its deepest point it's 755 feet deep how many leagues though 10 000 i think about more or less man but this isn't under the sea did i botch this by not going to loch ness when i was in scotland dude you could have this could have

been you. It wasn't an easy drive, and we only had like six hours of daylight while we were there, so it would have been kind of tough, but, you know, I tried. No, I actually didn't try. How is this getting so much play?

Dude, because anything's on the table in 2020, dude. Whoever wrote the headline, the Loch Ness Monster has entered the 2020 chat. Like, that's a good headline. I want to write that headline. That'd be a sick tweet. You should quote tweet. The original photos of the Loch Ness Monster are so shitty.

It looks like a brontosaurus. It's clearly just a dude sitting in his little tiny Scottish house just doing Loch Ness Monster drawings on photographs. And it looks tiny in that. Well, he took it from really far away. When you look at the ripple of the water, it looks like it's a close-up shot of water. It's totally... I don't know.

Dave, does the homie believe in the Loch Ness Monster? Honestly, I've been keeping it from him. I don't know why he's ready. Dave's his best friend. Well, okay. Yeah, Dylan. Let's go to this lake there's also a rumor that there's another loch ness monster there's like a mini one like a baby yeah that's the one i believe in well if this is all true like this monster's been living for way too long i want to know if it's like reptilian when was the original

loch ness Monster picture revealed? I think it was like 1850. Is that your official take? No, it was probably 1961. The most famous photograph was taken in 1934. That's close. But it's known to have been a hoax. But this says it was first reported

in the year 565 by St. Columba. That was a long time ago if you think the year 565 by St. Columba. That was a long time ago. If you think about it, Dave. St. Columba. St. Columba.

St. Columba. No, Parks has been all in on this Pizzagate stuff. Just kidding. He's been going through Podesta's emails. Parks has been so political lately. Yeah. He's been going through Podesta's emails. Parks has been so political lately. Yeah. He's getting involved, man.

I don't talk to you, Parks, for that kind of commentary. Just don't be as political, dude. Try living with the kid. Just got Fox News on all the time. He hit me up. He's like, look, I've got a platform now, and I'm going to use it. I'm like, dude, more power to you. Go on.

Bad self, Parks. Is it true that Parks got really into Fox News because he thought it was just a news station about foxes? What a disappointment for a kid. All of a sudden he's this big Hannity guy? Yeah. Yeah, he asked me for a Hannity bobblehead for his birthday, and I was like, I don't think I can do that. Dude, stop. He likes justice with Janine.

He said he won't let him wear bow ties because he thinks that they're for wimps, but he wants them because he's a big Tucker Carlson guy. He listens to Rush all the time, too. It's crazy. Big Rush guy. Folks. Oh, you're talking about Rush Limbaugh? Yeah.

Oh, I thought you were talking about Neil Peart and the Canadian rock band. I don't even know that. Oh, Prog Rock. I don't even know that connection. He loves Prog Rock. Dude, come on. Yeah, Rush Limbaugh. You don't listen to Rush?

Does Tucker still do the bow tie? I don't think so, no. Remember he was, you know, I'll admit, when he was with MSNBC or MSLSD, whatever you want to call it, like 20 years ago, I was always kind of fascinated by Tucker. I was like, oh, this dude's like, he's saying some things, and then people change. Yeah.

I don't tuck anymore. You guys want an old TFfm that involves tucker tucker carlson yeah it says my liberal politics science professor refers to me as tucker carlson tfm how did you find that i just typed it i just typed it tucker carlson total frat move because i figured there'd be something entertaining oh man i hope that's not one that i approved back in the day it probably was it's pretty good yeah i mean it's hope that's not one that I approved back in the day. It probably was. It's pretty good. Yeah.

I mean, it's not like an A, but it's like a B minus. Tucker Carlson. It wasn't the chess luge. My favorite TFM was just the one that – it was just a classic one about golf clubs working with iPhones, TFM. I was like, that's so stupid so stupid that's back when having an iphone was a flex not just like standard protocol i have an iphone and i play golf i'm so fret i've been thinking about getting back into the android game do you guys know on 19 on the 19th of April 2014, it was reported that a satellite image from Apple Maps

showed what appeared to be a large creature thought to be the Loch Ness Monster just below the surface of Loch Ness? Can we see the picture? No, dude, you can't even look it up. Oh, well, that's disappointing. Turns out it was just Dylan after eating avocados. You just call me fat, dude.

Just remember that one time you ate too many avocados. Dude, that's the photo. That doesn't even look like the Loch Ness Monster. It looks like a sand shark or something. Yeah, that's not a Loch Ness Monster. Liv Langdon told Dylan to eat avocados. He ate like four in a day and gained six pounds. You were spilling out of your clothes for like a week.

Sloppy. I was just stacking mass, dude. Do you guys know why I got fat like my freshman year. Avocados? I don't. I didn't. I mean, growing up, I never learned about fitness because it was not something that I cared about because I was always playing sports. I was never like overweight or anything.

So like learning about dietary habits was never an issue. Like we always did enough. I'd go to burger king and spend like 20 and still be skinny why burger king is not the place to drop 20 no it's not i can confirm yeah once you start dipping into the chicken fries you know you're in trouble but i don't like their chicken fries i discovered the marie calendar okay that's so stupid yeah i discovered the marie calendar's microwavable chicken pot pies and i just started eating those at a rapid clip.

Oh, yeah. You told us that. Yeah. And then I came home, and everybody was just like, dude. A little heavy on the pot pies. No one told me I looked good. Marie Callender, it's a top-tier frozen item. But the problem is you're getting quality,

but it's also loaded with just sugar and bad things. Dude, I remember the exact moment that I realized that my metabolism would not be what it was forever. It was in high school. And I looked down. This is weird. I looked down and was like, oh, my God, my body is visibly changing right in front of my face. It was a shocking revelation. I remember that. I've got that moment.

Yeah. This was when I was like 27 or 28, and Dylan, you and I had gone out. This is not going to be a real story, folks. And you said something, and you were acting all kinds of wild, and I took you in the alley, took you out back, and was just beating the piss out of you, just hitting you in the stomach over and over. And I remember getting winded. I was like, oh, man, I've slowed down. That's not a real story, dude. Took you in the alley, took you out back, and was just beating the piss out of you, just hitting you in the stomach over and over.

And I remember getting winded. I was like, oh, man, I've slowed down. That's not a real story, dude. I picked you up and carried you out of there. And I was like, man, I need to get back in the gym. You would never physically harm me. Dude, apparently they changed the Marie Callender's chicken pot pie recipe, and everybody is fucking livid in the reviews on their website. What did they change?

They got to turn off the reviews on their website what do they change they got to turn off the reviews on their website apparently they changed the new shit there's a new chicken flavor and people are not a fan of it is it a healthier rendition i hope not that'd be sad i'd be sad if they made a healthy yeah pot pies are good yeah it is it's a J-Bone listed his top ten foods the other day, and it was... I will say it's an acceptable list. It's not, but... There was a couple items that I thought were a little curious. I mean... Man, I miss

meat pies, I'll tell you that right now. Crab Rangoons was not his number one. Crab Rangoons should not be on that list. No. No, his number one was ramen, which I don't disagree with. I love ramen. Number two is French fries, which are way too high. Three steak, four bread, five escargot, which like, okay, dude, flex on them. Six fried chicken.

Makes sense. Seven sushi, eight Italian subs, nine crab Rangoons, and ten donuts. Italian subs? He threw a couple of those in there for a bit. He isn't really like Escargot. Well, you know, you got to have like if you want your list to get traction or your column, you have to have one extremely bad one. Like there was there was something recently.

Somebody. It's got to be polarizing. It's got to piss some people off. That's every single thing that they put out. Yeah. Every map. Rotten Tomatoes. People did some bracket. It's got to piss some people off. That's every single map thing that they put out. Every map. Rotten Tomatoes just did some bracket for greatest shows of all time. People will not stop falling for that bullshit.

They just won't. Yeah. Like the most Googled terms in each state during quarantine was one of them, and it was just made up bullshit. I don't disagree with you. Or like each state's favorite candy. Who's coming up with this stuff? There's no actual research going into these people.

Just calm down. You're not wrong. I never am, dude. You guys want to do this weekend in fun? It's already time for that? Mm-hmm. I'm about to have a bladder explosion. Oh, no.

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Dude, it's stupid. I actually brought those in because they sent me so much that I thought it was for the squad, and now I'm like, wait, I've got to bring this home. I told Human to take some, and he's like, well, you know. Human, he hates everybody. It's that guy's deal. Dude, if you're not familiar with liquid IV, one stick of it is in 16 ounces of water, hydrates you faster and more efficiently than water alone.

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Love the flavors. One thing people don't realize about hydration is that once you start thinking about that you're thirsty, it's already too late. It's true. You've got to just stay hydrated at all times. Multiply your hydration. I always say that. Or your energy as well. Multip's already too late. It's true. You've got to just stay hydrated at all times. Multiply your hydration. I always say that. Or your energy as well. Multiply it, David.

They've even got one with melatonin in it so you can nap time and not have to get up in the middle of the night and pee. That's the one I haven't tried. It's the best. You'd find me a company that's doing melatonin and also an energy multiplier. We've got the macho ones out there. Dude, all the ingredients are clean, non-GMO, vegan, and free of gluten, dairy, and soy. Thanks for doing. Sorry for all the dairy boys out there.

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Dylan, what the hell are you doing this weekend? Man, I have literally nothing going on this weekend. I mean, nothing. Big. I'll have parks Friday and Saturday, so we'll do something. We'll go swimming. Our neighborhood pool's open back up. But, man, just nothing.

That's lame. I get it. But it'll be nice. I love it. The weekend before July 4th, man. Yeah. So this is the weekend to do nothing. Yeah.

You know what I mean? That also may be the weekend to do nothing, too. Yeah, every weekend for the next few weeks might be the weekend to do nothing in Austin, Texas. Now with these very uncertain times. Yeah. Very uncertain, but about to get more certain because apparently we're going to get federal funding pulled for most of our testing. Oh, good. That means numbers will go down.

So numbers will go down. And out of sight, out of mind, let's fucking ball. Let's do it. Go to the bar. Let's do it. Hey, Will, thanks for asking. I'm not, I got no plans. I'd like to play some golf.

So let's play golf with Dan maybe this week or this weekend, weather permitting. Oh, Dan. Have you seen the forecast? There's rain in the forecast potentially for like the next three or four days. We need it. On Monday, it said that there's rain in the forecast every single day in 91 degrees. I will say yesterday was a delight. Yesterday was humid, though.

It was a little humid, but it was a nice day to be outside in terms of sun. Did you get a kiss of sun? No, I didn't. Okay. I wish I did. It was pleasant. It'll probably be a lay low weekend for me. Dude, big weather's at it again.

It should be somewhat pleasant. Maybe big weather's actually helping by saying that it's going to be rainy, trying to keep people inside. Is big weather in on trying to cure coronavirus? Ooh. Wouldn't it? I don't know. You know they say cold and flu season, it spikes during the cold months because people are indoors?

What? That makes sense, I guess, in offices and things like that. I know that I haven't really thought this through, but I'm always like, wait, does that apply to Texas too? Because in the summer, it's so fucking hot and everybody's indoors, so why wouldn't it spike here in the summertime? Summer, summer, summertime. I know more people are out. I always assumed it was because the heat killed the virus. I think it's because I came in wrong.

I don't know anything, though. I don't either. We're just comedians. We don't know anything. I'm not a comedian. You are. You are the comedian. Just a random dude.

No one's going to compliment your Bob Seger shirt today, but I will. Thank you. Thank you. I busted not a comedian. You are. You are the comedian. Just a random dude. No one's going to compliment your Bob Seger shirt today, but I will. Thank you. Thank you. I busted this out today. It had a large stain on the chest of it, so I had to do some treatments to it. Chest luge? Yeah, I was doing it. I was doing an ice luge, and it came out too fast, and it got all over my shirt, unfortunately.

We've all been there. It's good looking. Yeah, it's a good shirt. It says Rock and Roll Never Forgets on the sleeve, so it's hardcore. You should get that tattoo down your shoulders. I was thinking about just getting the graphics of this tattooed directly onto my body. That would be sick. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I have nothing going on this weekend. Sally, she was going to do Call on Sunday, but she just canceled doing it. And so now my day of sitting around watching soccer and playing FIFA and maybe dipping into Call of Duty, it's just ruined now. But that's okay. She was going to do –

She was going to be on call. Oh, on call. Yeah, but she gave it up. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, your boy has just got an open slate. I don't know. I kind of want to get, like, a dope recipe off one of these days.

Who knows? It's hard to say. But, yeah, i got a pool slot on friday afternoon so i am going to be sun kissed walking into the weekend man i'm so bad you mentioned call of duty i'm so bad and i none of us are i don't know how i'm gonna i don't know how i'm gonna take that next step no here's how we're gonna take the next step we have an employee who we pay and he might be paid to do video work but there's going to be a an hour a week that he's going to dedicate to teaching you and i how to be good at Call of Duty.

We haven't formally done his job description, so I'll work that in. Yeah, write Call of Duty in there. I hate to tell you this, human, but you're going to teach Dylan and I how to be Call of Duty studs. I just want to be able to enjoy the game without just running around in fear the whole time. I'm stressed out. You've got to learn the map.

You've just got to learn where to post up, and you got to always be in shelter. So Brett can never play Call of Duty. If I'm in the room with someone, I win that battle two out of ten times. I just get slaughtered. You got to aim above the torso. I just panic. Upper chest and head shots. I panic and I can't aim.

They're so quick. They're so quick. They're so quick. When they come up the stairs, they know the angles to get it. Do you have your loadouts? I don't even know how to do that. That's the first thing we're going to do. We're going to work on your loadouts because loadouts are key. You've always been a big loadout guy.

Can I get tight equipment if I do that? Yeah, that's the whole idea. Okay. Can you get the heartbeat sensor? Yes. Okay, I'm in. I feel like I have to be good at this in order to get the shit that i need to be like good good there's a it doesn't take that long to level up guns there's ways there's little workarounds we'll talk off

mike i'm about to explode are there codes like no there's no you have to put in your game genie up down up down left right left right there's the blood code b-a-b-a starts if you're playing super nintendo and you want to go straight to the carpet ride on Aladdin, you can just do Genie Jafar, Aladdin, Abu, and that'll get you right there. Dude, no one's playing Aladdin. Genie Jafar, Aladdin, Abu is the code. A-B-A. What was it?

A-B-A-C-A-B-B. There wasn't a C, but. There was an up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, one. Yeah, that was a C. Was that Konami? A claim? I don't know. I'm talking fast because i

gotta pee go pee dude let's get out of here it's time it's been fun uh happy hour live tonight if you haven't sent in your dinner you still have time just do it quickly and uh at circling back pod and as always uh we'll be back on friday patreon.com circling back podcast maybe we should do a gaming podcast you You know, gaming pod. No. Bye.