Circling Back - The Christmas Movie Draft & Substitute Teachers

Episode Date: December 6, 2021

Podcast Week gets off to a hot start — We draft our favorite Christmas movies, discuss the Austin substitute teacher who was fired for doing Britney Spears karaoke, chicken tenders are on the hot seat, and Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:15) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (27:40) The Christmas Movie Draft (48:50) Austin Substitute Teacher Sings Britney Spears (56:00) Chicken Tenders are Doomed (1:03:00) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 4-week trial, free postage, and digital scale) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (STEAM for 20% off) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Solo Stove: www.solostove.com (STEAM for $10 off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast presented by row back where you can get 20% off your first order using backer 20 my name is will defreeze to my left david ruff big day for everybody out there who has legs that just don't get cold because um today is um leave for work and then cold front blows through day and if you didn't look at the weather maybe you didn't prepare yourself accordingly but i've seen a number of people rocking shorts and even short sleeve, and clearly they were unprepared. And I can already tell that there's going to be many people in Central Texas doing, ah, it's fine, legs just don't get cold, you know?

Well, me being the good father that I am, I sent my son to school layered up. Actually, pants, a couple layers. He can pop the hoodie off if he wants. It's a zip-up situation. He's fully prepared for the change in weather. Nobody was saying that you weren't preparing him. Thank you. Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on dressing your son.

Aside from being an excellent, prepared father. Have you had a misstep with this before? Because it seems like you have. It seems like you're really trying to cover up for something that you had a shortcoming. What is challenging, actually, is that his mother has some of his clothes. I have some of his clothes. Because sometimes I send him to school and she picks them up. Sometimes stuff that I have gets left at her place and vice versa.

So a lot of coats are currently at her place. I need to get some over to my crib. You need to have an emergency coat. To add on to what you just said, for myself, I got just black Super F in the cup. It has nothing to do with anything I said. Well, I don't get cold. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm a man.

I drink Super F black. And if I want to wear shorts when it's 30 degrees outside, I'll do that because I don't get cold. To be clear, it's not that cold, but it's definitely a chilly north wind. Will you please acknowledge that I'm a man? You made that clear. And I don't get cold. You've already let us know that you procreated. Yeah.

And that you put clothing on your son. Multiple layers. Multiple layers. I sent him to school with clothes on. Which is huge. He's about to lose his second front tooth. I'm going to call him and sing the song.

The mega-ist of cute scenes. I'm going to sing the song that everybody wants me to sing again, but I won't sing it today. I'll lose tooth song. Do it again. Have you heard the Bubbles in the Bath song? I got the bubbles in the bath. Is that how it goes? I think it's kind of like that is it it's not i mean no it's more like bubbles in the bath bubbles in the bath bubbles in the bathtub so

it's not to the tune of horses it could be look when you are dylan as you know it should be i think will just wrote a song accidentally as you you are aware, since you are a man. Oh, yeah. Big time. A lot of fatherhood is remixing children's songs and just making up words to the old ones you don't remember, but you still feel like you need to sing a song. Maybe you're changing a diaper and he's, like, freaking out. My move is to sing a popular song that might come on the radio or something and just mix in the name Parks. Yeah, that's a good move.

And it always throws him off. Why don't you give us an example? Give me a popular song. I have a song I sing. Mambo No. 5. I'm like, Amarillo by Parks. And they'd be like, wait, what? That is truly a give up.

That's not very good. It's a give up. Yeah, that's not good. Mambo No. 5, is that what you said? Yeah. Okay, that wasn't it. I kind of forgot how they... I used to love that song.

I still do. Are you familiar with all the newest technologies in babies these days? No, I haven't had a baby. Like the Duna. I haven't had a baby in a minute. The Snoo, like all the different things you can get. That Duna is a little spicy lately. Okay.

You give your baby snuff? No, Snoo. You got any snuff? No, snoo. The snoo is where they sleep. The duna is the stroller that also doubles as a car seat. And so I will sing a song. That's been around for a minute, dog. Yeah, I know. I'm setting the stage for those out there who aren't fathers

and who aren't super well-versed in kid shit. Not everybody is as manly as you. I love the sound of the click it makes when you reattach it it's really good it's good it's really good

but I always just sing from the doona to the snoo that's pretty good oh so you're doing sweat drop down my bottle no but I do the milk drop down that bottle

all these you go a lot deeper than I do I go real deep I go real deep that's one I've been workshopping for a long time that's pretty good

well this is going to be You go a lot deeper than I do. I go real deep. I go real deep. That's when I've been workshopping for a long time. That's pretty good. Well? This is going to be an all-time tough ad read day for your boy. Why? You can't read? Well, no. It's just I'm still a little foggy from all the IPAs that Brett and I polished off on Saturday together. Man.

Talk about FOMO. You didn't – I noticed you're not sipping on any creamer. Dude, you know I get my coffee in before I come into the office. I did that thing where I chugged the end of my coffee before I got in the car today, and by the time I got to the office, I was just needing to pee. That's me quite literally every day. Yeah, it was brutal. I walked in, waved to Brett, and immediately walked out. I think he thought I had a bigger issue at hand, but it was just a quick one.

It was an uno. I said super F earlier. That F stands for fantastic. It's super Uno. I said super F earlier. That F stands for fantastic. It's super fantastic. Coffee. Black. I mean, that's actually good that you clarified. Just straight gas.

Actually, what I did, this is interesting. So I found a new coffee brand that I really like. It has a little bit of flavor to it, but I contacted the, I reached out to them, and I got hold of their – the farmer. They source their beans. It's in Guatemala, so I reached out to them, and I asked them if they could just take all the flavor out of it completely. I just said, I just want straight gas, straight heat because I'm a man. And they're currently putting together my own personal blend.

And it's just flavorless. It's just straight coffee gas. It's like drinking black water. Exactly. Oh, black water. So I look forward to that. They're currently going to get back to me. It's going to be very expensive, unfortunately, but it's worth it because I get to look into the eyes of people who drink just regular black coffee.

Let's take a trip down there and check it out. You want to go? Yeah. Flavored coffee sucks. Oh, interesting. It smells good. But if you do like a – we recently got a peppermint one, and it's just terrible. Don't do that.

Don't do that. It's terrible. That's doing too much. This is a Texas pecan, and it's pretty damn good. Is that Keurig? No. I don't do Keurig. No, you're a Keurig guy.

The Keurig Texas pecan is mid. I don't do Keurig. No, you're a Keurig guy. The Keurig Texas pecan is mid. I don't do Keurig. It smells really good. No, as all Keurig coffee goes, it smells good, but it tastes like shit. You want to smell my Super F? Yeah, take that tap off. Pop the top, dog. I'll give it to you later.

You're too far away. I hate when you're really over here. I've got a fun cup. I didn't realize we had these at the office. Yeah, this is the lamest cup I've ever seen in my entire life. What kind of boner design is that? It's a Dixie cup. And it says it has little sections,

almost like a Tom Herman hydration key. And the top one says no. And the one under it says not yet. The one under it says not yet the one under it says closer the one under that almost there lord have mercy then the final one says ready which is something you see that's what these are the stages of sipping the booming loud that's what you see on a uh a jug of water that's like you know 80 ounces or something that you carry around all day with you 100 ounces that's just like a 12 ounce around all day with you, 100 ounces. That's just like a 12-ounce little.

No one's carrying around 100 ounces of water all at once. It's a gym guy. I beg to differ, sir. There's gym guys. They have big jugs, and it has marks on it just like that. And it says, like, keep going, not hydrated yet. Like, shut up. No, you're probably hydrated. Yeah.

I will say, for all of the gym trends that I've been on in my life, I've never been carry around a giant jug of water in the gym guy. Like, I just don't think I need two gallons during my 48-minute workout. So there's a dude who I had a freshman year seminar with him, and he showed up to class the first day. He's sitting right next to the professor professor and he takes out a milk jug. And it wasn't like a clear milk jug. It was one of the ones that's kind of like more opaque.

It has like almost a white. Yeah. And so it didn't look like he was drinking water out of it. It looked like he just brought a gallon of milk to class and set it on the table. And I'm like, dude, this is not what you do your first day of college. Like everyone's looking at you like you're a fucking weirdo right now because you felt the need to bring in a gallon jug was it water yeah it was water but it just looked like milk it was like relaxed dude milk wait it was in the the milk so wait was it distilled water no no he he he did what the college people do and he hollowed out it hollowed out he emptied

the milk thing and then washed it and then clearly just put water in it. He brought it to class for like two months. That's so unnecessary. It's gross. You were telling me you were at the gym last week, said there was a lot of jugs there. Yeah. What are you doing? I'm just saying, is it like a bodybuilding

competition coming up? What are these guys doing? They didn't stop it. A lot of water there. A lot of water. Jobs of water. I don't like drinking out of the fountain. I don't either, but I still do it. You ever see somebody, and growing up, this was real. Kids, classmates who, when they went to the water fountain,

they would just inhale the little whatever it's called. The good news at the gym is that it's mostly just adults there. They don't do that. Inhale it, meaning they put their mouth over it like Micah's doing a podcast with a microphone. Oh, the germs. The germs. The germs. The germs.

It's interesting. Let's talk real quick. Official business out of the way. Patreon. Circling Batch. It'll be live on Wednesday. We're talking Bachelorette. It's almost over.

Got to think we're going to get some more stuff episodes mixed in for a little bit. Friday voicemails dropping on Thursdays. Our last episode got a lot of acclaim. People were very happy with our last voicemail episode. Highly recommend you go check out the free preview on the feed. Also, if you're looking for some Christmas stuff or maybe you're just trying to get suited and booted yourself, head over to washedmedia.shop and check out all the new merch on the site. Also, we've got a RoBak collaboration, robak.com slash washed.

Yeah, Dylan's wearing one right now. I wore one of mine all weekend. I took mine out of the dryer last night. It's all folded up ready. Just like, hey, please wear me. And I'm like, I'm waiting. No. I'm waiting.

What are you waiting for, you dumbass? I'm waiting. You can also go get a free set of coasters with every Do You Even Burn candle. We're burning one in the studio right now if you're watching on YouTube. You know that already. Shouts to all the YouTubers out there. VeloBox.com slash circling dash back. Like I said, if you use coasters at checkout, you get a free set of coasters with every candle.

Also, go leave a review. We're not going to read any reviews today. Out of protest to the lack of reviews. It's more because I don't have it up right now, and it's going to read any reviews today. Out of protest to the lack of reviews. It's more because I don't have it up right now and it's going to take way too long and so we're just not going to do that. And it's also time to recap this weekend in fun presented by Early Bird CBD, baby.

You know how much we love Early Bird. We love it so much that Dave went on a little crusade himself this weekend and converted some people into customers. Yeah, after my weekend and fun, we have at least two, potentially three, new early bird CBD users. Wow. Big fans. Handshake emoji.

I was just the guy. Look, I wasn't the guy who was late to the ranch. I was the guy who brought early bird CBD. Wow. I've converted probably a lot more than you, not to brag, but kind of to brag. I've been recommending recommending to everybody and they always come back to me a few days later and say like holy shit i love this stuff sleeping better and get a little uh lift you know from the thc david

it's not for everybody this dude dresses his son warmly just recommends early birds this guy's just having a day yeah go off go off, Dylan, respectfully. Multiple layers. I'm kind of killing it right now. Yeah, if you're wondering what's up with this early bird CBD stuff and why we're such fans of it, it's a recreational hemp product that contains about 2.5 milligrams of natural THC and about 12.5 milligrams of CBD in each gummy. These are formulated for fun and to make you feel good.

They do both. Oh, yeah. These will set you on a nice little relaxation journey when you go home at night, pop one on the couch, and toss on some HBO Max from the night before. Did I take two of them the other night? Yeah. Wow. You're a savage.

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Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? Thank you for asking, Will. So Thursday, Bay had a work event. Her company rented out Franklin's Barbecue. You hear about this place? Heard of that place. Wow.

I thought they were closed. Is that why I was waiting in line for 12 hours? According to many critics, it's the best barbecue in the world. I thought they were closed temporarily. Did they just reopen? Oh, they did.

Perennial? Maybe he watched the news. A perennial top 10 barbecue joint in the state of Texas per Texas Monthly. Some people say in the world, I'm not going to go there. Some people have gone there, went there. Anyway, she brought home, I'm not kidding,

maybe five pounds of meat from Franklin's for your boy. What are we talking here, brisket? Dave, brisket. All right? Pork ribs, Sausage. Turkey. Okay. It's free. It's brought home.

I'm just saying the turkey. I might have switched in a beef rib or two. The turkey was excellent. Dylan's anti-beef rib. Everyone knows that. Turkey was excellent. As well as beans, potato salad, a key lime pie, and a bourbon banana tart. Yes, I would fuck with that.

It wasn't as good as a key lime. What's up? What kind of bourbon? I'm going to say this. I'm going to put this out into the world. While ordering the turkey at the actual restaurant is kind of a lame move, having some of that leftover for like a Sammy the next day or something, it might be the best leftover for me that you have from a barbecue joint. It was really good.

I love it. I was very pleased with it. So, yeah, the highlight of my weekend was kind of just eating dope-ass barbecue. Were you just grazing? Yeah. That's my favorite. I love a good late-morning barbecue run, and then you just kind of graze on barbecue for the next 12

hours and uh bae was under the weather so i just i just took care of her i was just a really good fiance so on top of being a great father a man um i also know how to take care of my lady my lady wow wow so you you dress your son a multiple layers uh layers. Keep going. Uh-huh. I don't remember all the other stuff, but, dude, I'm proud of you. I'm kind of on one right now. You're really flexing. I know. I know. And I've been kind of just preparing for the move as well.

My move happens pretty soon. Bought a crib. What's Ethereum doing, Will? I'm getting notifications. I set up notifications for the Maxwell trial through the New York Times app, so now I'm getting notifications. I set up notifications for the Maxwell trial through the New York Times app, so now I'm getting live updates. You're going to get watered down from corporate media? I definitely will be.

Did you see that a Chinese space rover has located a mysterious cube-shaped object on the surface of the moon? Did you hear what noise it made when it approached it? My cube! My cube! Is that fake news, Randy? I wonder if it's when it approached it. My cube. My cube. Is that fake news, Randy?

I wonder if it's one of those vehicles. Oh, dude. You just cucked Brett's breaking news. First of all, I couldn't have known that. Second of all, we can still talk about it. Just let it go. Brett will have much more detail. What if it's a Nissan cube?

J-Bone would be ecstatic. Do you know about this? Anyway. Sorry. Go ahead with your weekend that no one cares about. What'd that boy get into? Well, everybody knows. If you follow me at DCRuff on Instagram, you probably were aware.

Thank you, Will. That Ranch Dave was activated. In full activation. There's nothing better than going to the ranch. And by the ranch, I mean my friend's ranch. In Llano, Texas. Beautiful Llano, Texas. them better than going to the ranch and by the ranch i mean my friend's ranch uh in lano texas beautiful lano texas just just acres upon acres of hill country land um just sitting in a deer blind not shooting anything but watching my friends shoot some stuff i just i was like you

know i don't i just i'm gonna take the year off were you just drinking some beers and wasting bullets? Actually, kind of, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty. Shots to Luke Bryan. Is that a song? Pretty sure it is. You shouldn't waste bullets.

There's an ammo shortage. A lot of people don't know that. But it was good. It was just, it was a boys weekend. We got into some of the, got into some of that old brown water. It was fun. Did a fire. Do they not have a filtration system out there? No, it's brown water. It was fun. Did a fire. Do they not have a filtration system out there? No, it's a problem.

Very minerally. Very sulfury. You got to be careful with that, man. You don't want to get contaminated. Yeah, why do you think I was late today? Oh. No, I was actually late because I was dressing my son in multiple layers. Really?

So you were also a good dad. Did you hit him with that hoodie so he could pop it off just in case he got a little warm? No, no, no. I actually had him in a track suit, tearaway. Really? Yeah, in case he wants to train. Is it the same one that Flounder had at his Italian restaurant? Probably very similar.

Actually, but like, okay. If we were drafting, we're going to do a draft later, like favorite attendees to my bachelor party, Flannery would be my first overall pick. No offense to you guys. To be fair, you're not even in my top ten. That's okay. Yeah.

I'm going. If we had to rank all the dudes on the trip, you're coming in real low. Oh, really? Yeah. That's rude. No, it just shows the strength of the roster. I'm fine. No, it's a deep team.

It is, yeah. There's going to be some guys who transfer because they can't get playing time. I get that. But should I get a mullet today when I get my haircut? Speaking of transfer. I don't know. There's a dude who just went on the most recent season of Love Island Australia and he showed up with a mullet and every girl was like, this guy's hot. Really? Yeah, and now I'm like, fuck, and he showed up with a mullet, and every girl was like, this guy's hot.

Really? Yeah, and now I'm like, fuck, I'm going to get a mullet. Man, I just don't know if you can pull it off. Yeah, I think that's fair. Dude, dude have pulled it off quite well. Like, looks good, legitimately good. Any of your boys at the ranch have a mullet? Ooh.

No. No, these guys are all, like, serious people. What's the difference between regular Dave and Ranch Dave? Ranch Dave is just, it's not even like a real person. It's more of an idea. That's the difference. It's just kind of like the thought of Ranch Dave, like in the abstract. Oh, Ranch Dave was getting thotty on the timeline.

Well. Yeah, who was responding to that tweet? First of all, who posted that tweet? I posted it. People thought I posted it. I posted the tweet. I'm like, I did not post a photo of myself from circling back. No, if there's one thing that I think collectively we're scared to do,

it's be too self-promotional from the circling back feed. I don't think any of us have ever posted a photo of ourselves from that feed before. If there's a photo of Dave that goes up, I probably posted it. If there's one of me that goes up, I probably posted it. If there's one of me that goes up, Brett probably posted it. There's somebody out there who thinks that we're posting those ourselves and they're like,

God, look at these assholes. Yeah. Yeah. We are assholes. But yeah, it was, you know, it was great fun. Good times.

Where's your place in relation to Llano? It is 24 miles west, northwest ofano off 71 it's on 71 oh okay but 71 kind of does this yeah it's yeah you know where the high school is lano high school his place is just south of there off three uh three county road 312 will okay honey creek ranch fantastic area beautiful it is a lot of people call it the hill country i call it home County Road 312, Will. Honey Creek Ranch. Fantastic area. Beautiful. It is. A lot of people call it the hill country. I call it home.

That's fair. Here we go. That's fair. It's my home away from home. My friend's home away from home. That is also my home for some weekend. That you visit occasionally. Correct.

Yeah. Very cool. Hold on. Are you ready yet? Almost there. Oh, shit. Lord have mercy. I'm about to drink. That's it.

Will, I think we all know where this is going. Friday night, your boy just had a night. Sally was working nights all week, so your boy was just posted up. You know what I did? No. I finished watching the Grateful Dead documentary on Amazon Prime. I started it the week of Micah's bachelor party, and I finally finished it. Okay.

It was good. I wanted to finish it before I could dive into the Beatles documentary, which I have yet to do. But I'm very excited for that transition in my life. It's getting some play on the T.O. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. The whole two and a half hour episodes is not great. Two and a half hours is a lot. Are you doing Mick or are you doing Paul McCartney?

It's the same guy, really. There's no difference. And then Saturday, I did something that some people in the studio don't do, and that's I made good on a previous agreement that I made. We saw. Brett and I decided to go out. And months ago, I told Brett, maybe not even months ago, maybe six weeks ago, I told Brett I'm retired from drinking IPAs.

And he said, no, there's going to be some cool day on like a Saturday in Austin, Texas, where I'm going to want to go drink a bunch of IPAs with you. And I said, you have one day, you have to hand me a card and you have to clear it by Sally first so that childcare is taken care of and I don't have to put effort into it. And when you hand me that card, I will go out with you and I will drink as many IPAs as I can. You played it. And he played it on Thursday, I believe. I was a little rattled when he played it because I did not want to go out drinking this weekend.

But you know what I did? I made good. And I drank seven IPAs. Local guy making good. Seven? Seven IPAs. Starting at what time? Three.

Ending at about 11. 3.11. And then I also mixed in two light beers. I don't think I finished either of the light beers. What was your IPA of choice? Started off with a nice IPA from St. Elmo's Brewery, local. And then I transitioned into Deschutes Fresh Squeezed IPA. Probably one of my favorite IPAs going. Deschutes. Interesting. into Deschutes fresh squeezed IPA. Probably one of my favorite IPAs going.

Deschutes, my Deschutes. And yeah, so that means that I had no choice but to spend Sunday just feeling really bad about myself eating Tex-Mex. It was a lituation. At least you got a chance to watch the Lions win a game. Yeah. You were pretty glued to that one. Yeah, I was so glued to the TV.

I was sitting at lunch and my phone started lighting up and I was like, oh, something must have just happened. Sure enough, the Lions won a game. Kind of wish they hadn't. Kind of wish they just lost every game this year. Good for Dan Campbell. I'm happy for Dan Campbell. I'm happy for Adam.

The win could not have come at a better time. Happy for everybody involved. But, yeah, I'm so out on the – I mean, we done boys still. That's the thing. Well, yeah, that's the thing about it. Hey, what's up with the scheduling of the Cowboys games? No one's going Thursday to Thursday. They had three games in like two days.

This is weird. This is them. They want to put them in primetime games. It's just – You know what, though? I kind of love not having to get all geared up for a Cowboy game Sunday. Yeah, but who'd they play this past Thursday? Saints.

Okay, so the Saints did not play on Thanksgiving, so that gives them how many days rest versus the boys who got a week's rest. Is that not weird? Somebody had to say it. Sometimes the boys get short weeks. Sometimes they don't. The Thanksgiving game is, depending on how you want to look at it, a disadvantage. For them, they play Sunday before.

Then they have a game four days later, obviously. I think this might have been the first time they played the following Thursday, though. Normally it's like a 10-day. Didn't they go Thursday, Sunday, Thursday? No, wait. No. They did two Thursdays recently. One aside from Thanksgiving. I'm going to shut up.

How about that Bama team, though? You hear about that? I saw that coming from a mile away. Unfortunately, a lot of the haters and losers out there did not see that. I'm officially ready. Oh, my gosh. We ready. It's different now.

We ready. This needs to be in someone's lake house on a wood plaque or something under a live, laugh, love. It's my favorite thing in the world to get invited to someone's lake house for a weekend, and then you just walk around the lake house just laughing to yourself about the ridiculous shit They have on the why is it always at a lake house dude cuz life is better at the lake It's like everybody who goes to a lake house or buys a lake house just goes to the same place to get there Like decoration corny lake house decor store. It's like the same interior decorator They go to Hobby Lobby Hobby Lobby is the goat for all that stuff

It's all stuff that was made by the Christian girl fall girl or whatever. Or what was it? Super cool autumn. What was the chick? Christian girl autumn. Yeah, that was it. Everyone in northern Michigan just has something that says unsalted on it. It's like, yeah, it's fresh water.

We know. That's kind of sick, though. No, it's not.alted on it. It's like, yeah, it's fresh water. We know. That's kind of sick, though. No, it's not. Oh, okay. It's lame. She's my little Christian girl. Like Whiskey Girl, but Christian instead? Correct, yes.

Is that also Sally? I don't know. We don't talk about religion. That's fair. You know what we do talk about? Stamps.com, baby! Yeah, we do. The season of giving is finally here, and so is the holiday rush.

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That's stamps.com, promo code circling back, stamps.com. Easy e-commerce shipping for less. A lot less. Very cool. You know what time it is? It's time to draft. It's feeling a little drafty in here. Ooh.

Feeling a little drafty in here. Ooh. Yeah, a little drafty in here. Ooh. These are fun, man. Are you going to do another sexy little graphic for the people? I always do the sexy graphic. That's my favorite part of doing this. Not to brag, but yeah, I set up a template, so it's really easy for me to do. I know.

It's kind of sick. Yeah. What have we drafted so far? We started off with Halloween candy for our Halloween season. I crushed it. For Thanksgiving, we just did all the sides and accompaniments of a classic Thanksgiving dinner. And right now, we're going to do something else. I was a clear winner of that one as well.

No, you weren't. This is something no one else has ever done. No, we're doing Christmas movie draft. It's a Christmas movie draft, David. It's where we draft Christmas movies. It's where we draft Christmas movies. I'm familiar with it. Okay.

So Dylan's are all going to be in black and white. Dave just is choosing Die Hard four times in a row. Dude, hold on. Before we get into it. It's not a Christmas movie. I've only seen it once, and I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it being dubbed a Christmas movie. Oh! I've only seen it once, and I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it being dubbed a Christmas movie. No.

I'm okay with it. Just because it's during Christmas doesn't mean it's a Christmas movie. I'm not saying it should be a good Christmas movie. I'm just saying if someone wants to deem it that, I'm fine with that. If they want to not, then I'm also fine with that. Did you know that It's a Wonderful Life and A Miracle on 34th Street were released in consecutive years 46 and 47. Really? So that was right in the prime of your childhood. Right.

You're older than my father. That's pretty crazy. The simple fact that you even have these on your list right now tells me everything you need to know about your list. Those didn't even sniff my top 12. I have a list of Christmas movies. You can't deny those are absolute classic Christmas movies. Yeah, they're classic Christmas movies. You can't deny those are absolute classic Christmas movies.

Yeah, they're classic Christmas movies. That doesn't mean they're good. I'm not saying I'm going to draft them. I'm just saying they're on my list. Snoozers. They're classic in the sense that you'll watch it when you're back home and your dad puts it on because you don't want to be a jerk. But when you're home on a random Wednesday and you're layering up your son, as you often

do, you're not going to flip it on. No. It's on TV. It's on TV, but I'm not. If you show one of those movies to Parks, he's going to think you have the most trash taste. But it does, at minimum, deserve an honorable mention. Yeah, I guess. When we're doing this.

Yeah, but that's like talking about old-timey baseball players being really good. They suck these days. Yeah, the Black Sox. I could strike out Babe Ruth. Okay, no, you couldn't. Would you suck these days. Yeah, the Black Sox. I could strike out Babe Ruth. Okay, no you couldn't. Would you stop? Maybe I couldn't strike out Babe Ruth. I could strike out Babe Ruth.

Dude, they had the most fire wind-ups back in the day. Just so many moving parts. Shout out Satchel Paige. What's all that extra movement? You don't even do that. I don't know, man.

I don't really know how physics worked too well. It's like they had to wind up their arm to get it going. Yeah, that's not how it works. I mean, it's like a whole week. Yeah. It's like 12 seconds before the ball is even released. Did they even throw off-speed pitches or just all fastballs back then? I mean, they were just trying to get it over the plate.

They were throwing just hunks of cheese. The ball was just covered in miscellaneous. They were just grooving it 81 miles per hour, just trying to find the plate. You know somebody snuck in? There had to have been a pitcher who snuck in a fake baseball that was hauling out or something. And the catcher, it's just like knuckling.

And this isn't even a regulation ball. I mean, those guys were such cheaters back then. They rigged the World Series. Pine tar, yeah. Pine tar, dirt. Uh-huh. Spit. They did rig a World Series.

They threw it Yeah They got paid They got paid Rothstein, huh? Yeah Roth Was it Roth?

I don't know They got paid like $3,000 back then Yeah, I hope A couple hundred dollars They got for throwing the World Series Was worth it And they were set for life Then they had to go live

In a cornfield for eternity Yeah, that sucks It's too bad Which is cool If you're really into corn And you can hear Freak on a Leash. Yeah, it actually sounds kind of tight. I'm feeling like a freak on a leash. Okay.

I don't like what you did. Should we have Randy choose a number between 1 and 10, and we'll all shout out numbers, and we'll determine the draft rating. Yeah. All right, Randy, are you ready? Number between 1 and 10. Please write it down so we can know that you're not cheating and putting it in someone else's favor.

I have yet to choose first, which is concerning. Randy's arms are just bulging. Why is Randy writing so much? Just write a number down, you freak. Can't Randy just come in here with tiny arms one day? I don't know, man. Luckily, we're having a company-wide meeting tomorrow, so we can kind of stress the tiny arms in 2022.

Yeah, we're going to enforce a sleeve policy here at work. It's like the sleeve thief visited his home. Okay. Ready? One, two, three, four. Six. I nailed it right on last time, too. Dylan got it.

Go! Dylan, me, Dave. So it's a snake? Yeah. Ooh, I get back-to-back. It's arguably the best spot. Best value. You're not wrong, David.

I would prefer to be in your position right now. Except for me, who drafted McCaffrey with my first pick. He's out for the season. Kind of fucked my whole year. Tough spot. Dude, tell us more about your fantasy team. I'd rather be where y'all are than where I am right now, I'll tell you. Really?

Okay. Are you going to get last place? I get the sixth pick after this. Way! And the seventh. Don't cry. All right. That was a pretty good cry.

It's between three. I hear a lot about it these days. It's between three. And I'm going to go. You can't choose all three. I know. I'm not going to. Ooh. these days. It's between three. You can't choose all three. I know. I'm not going to. I'm going to pick...

You do know that whatever you pick right now, this means that you think it is the goat Christmas movie. There's a lot of pressure on this pick. That's a lot of presh, man. A lot of presh. I'm going to go with Christmas Vacation. Wow! Okay! I was not expecting that.

That is my number one overall pick. I had it in my top two or three, so I'm not going to argue. Okay. I had that as my number eight. What? Eight? You're full of shit. It's top five at Mint.

He's a liar. My choice. It's undeniably a top three Christmas vacation. It's my choice. All right, let's hear it. I had very big concerns about what Dylan was going to do. You chose one. I do really like Christmas Vacation.

I would hope so. I do like it. It's not one that I watch every year. A lot of sap. It's on one every two years. A lot of sap on that tree. I genuinely thought he would go more sentimental. I thought you would have gone like a more serious Miracle on 34th Street type,

wonderful life. Christmas Vacation is a perfect blend of like nostalgia and funny and like get you in like the Christmas spirit. It's a great, great, great movie. You need to cop that Chicago Bears hat, Randy. Yeah, you need one of those. Yeah, what are you doing, man? You need one of those. All right, you guys ready for my pick? He wants to put a pool in. This is my goat. This is my goat. This will forever be my goat. It shaped who I am as a person today. It's elf.

Absolutely not elf. My number one pick in the Christmas movie draft is Home Alone. Number one. First one. I was deciding between the two. Not even hard. That was an easy pick. It is such a great movie.

It really is. I've already watched it twice this year, and I will be watching it at least one more time. It's off the board, David. It's a good pick, Will. David, you are up. You've got two heavy hitters that are just discarded right now for you. Hey, can I say something?

The rendering of his pool in Vacation, you know when he's got the little... Diving board? Yeah, it looks so pathetic. That is just a tiny little pool. It's a movie prop, David. Let's just calm down. Look, I'm just saying

attention to detail matters. Okay. It was just a... Number three, Scrooged, Bill Murray. Really? You're going Scrooged? Really? Scrooged.

Scrooged. Bill Murray. I murray i relate the great jack pounds don't think i've ever seen that to be frank it is uh somewhat a somewhat dark comedy but it is it is um a good one and one that i i watch almost every year. Well, your pick is about to upset. One of you is going to take one from me that's going to upset me a lot. Oh, I forgot that Dave's got two in a row. It's a take on the Christmas Carol. Yeah. The Ghost of Christmas Past. The short story from 1843 by Charles Dickens.

That was the one. Ebenezer. Trash name. You don't hear too many people getting called Ebenezer these days. I was going to name my next son Ebeneezer. Really? What's short for, what do you call him for short? Like Lil Kneezy?

Eb's. Lil Kneezy. That is a shit name. Yeah. What the hell? Yeah. You grow up and one day you're like, wait, my name's Ebeneezer? It's too long.

It's shitty. I'd probably hate everything too if my name was Ebeneezer. It sounds mean. Yeah, like life just sucks. If you call your dude, it's that one movie or that one... Is it a book? I don't know. Whatever it is.

That ruined the name for everybody. Ebenezer. It kind of sounds like a demon. Like a biblical, like an Old Testament demon or something. It's actually... It comes from a Hebrew phrase that means stone of help. Stone man.

Stone man. Very cool. Dave, what's your next pick? Yep. What's the fourth overall pick? Number four. Don't do it. Godfather.

Oh, wow. This is a hard-o move. Excuse me? Yes, there is a Christmas scene. It doesn't make it a Christmas movie. It's a mafia movie. It's my pick, baby. I hope the listeners don't...

It's my pick. All the listeners love Dave, no matter what. I hope that they give him the right amount of stick that he deserves for this right now. I'm upset. We taught the world how to eat. I'm upset. Where's the freaking gabagool?

I'm in a very interesting position right now. I could acquire both home alones if I wanted to. You could. It's just whether or not I want to do it. I can't do it. You can't do it to them. I can't do it to them. I know what you're going to pay.

I have to choose one that is, I have more sentimental value with this one than I have with any of it. My mother and I watch it every single Christmas together. Love Actually, baby. Fuck. Love Actually. I knew it. I had to do it to him.

I was going to go Love Actually. I was. Well. But, hey, I had two picks in a row here, and I have two great ones. Oh, you're going to pick mine. I know, and I have two great ones. Oh, you're going to pick mine. I know it. I have two great ones. Go ahead.

I'm going to go Home Alone 2. He's lost in New York, David. He is lost in New York. People forget about that. It's a good sequel. It's a good sequel. Also, a movie that people like to make fun of it, and I don't appreciate it. When it comes to nostalgic Christmas movies, it's The Goat.

It was also released the year I was born, which is very cool. 1946? 1983, the year I was born. I'm going with A Christmas Story. I'm glad you took that because that's not something, as I've said before, that is not a classic movie on my radar. It's not something that's ever been something that i watch regularly i respect its place in the christmas movie you know pantheon of good movies but for me it's just not it's not one that i identify with very much but i'm glad

you took it it doesn't deliver so much and i understand that but it is as far as just like feel good i'm ready to get into the Christmas spirit. When Ralphie bashes that ginger's face in, it's like, all right, Christmas is finally here. I stand all gingers as I married one and my son is one. My mother is also one. How about shit last night? He just pounded his little red face in. He pounded it.

What was crumpled? I feel like Dave had something going on over here. Don't worry about it. Quit screen watching. I feel really good about my list so far, guys. You should feel decent about your list. For my third pick, this is hard. There's a lot going on right now. I'm going to do it.

I want to go with more of a classic one, but overall I think this is one of my favorite holiday movies, and it's simply called The Holiday. Shout out Cameron Diaz. Yep. Shout out Kate Winslet. Shout out everybody. Jack Black gets. Shout out Kate Winslet. Shout out everybody. Jack Black gets a little too top, like, high billing on this movie for my liking.

You say Winslet, huh? I don't know. Is that the one where... Hey, Kate Winslet. Her fiance almost leaves her for Julia Roberts? No. Oh, okay. I don't think so.

I don't know. Julia Roberts isn't in there? Oh. I thought it was. Fre Roberts isn't in there. Oh. I thought it was. You freak. Is that not a rom-com with Cameron Diaz? I could be wrong. There's always shit on in my house that I don't put on.

I don't know, David. Dave, you got two. You're about to round out your list, playboy. Pretty simple here. Just kind of an all-timer. She goes to that cottage, right? That cabin with What's-His-Face. They do a switch.

Hot dude. Both of them need to get a hard reset-Face. They do a switch. Hot dude. Both of them need to get a hard reset on their life. They make a switch. They both fall in love. Jude Law. Jude Law, dude. That's a hot dude. He is so hot.

If I could switch appearances with any major celebrity, he might be up there for me. He's just a strapping dude. I think this one, I don't like getting too serious on this pod, but as far as nostalgia, serious on this pod but as far as nostalgia um the meaning of christmas um replacing an aging santa claus my third pick is ernest saves christmas belate the great jim varney i didn't have ernest going on this list but i'm happy that you went there yeah it's the third installment of the series um just an epic one he saves christmas which is where the title comes from um oh i get a back-to-back one yep you're finishing your list out you guys took all

the good ones no we didn't there's still a lot left no dude you got earnest saves christmas you got a really good number four or my fourth pick. Is this my final pick? Uh-huh. Nightmare Before Christmas. Really? Always liked it. I don't know. It's weird for me because it is a Christmas movie,

but it's such a Halloween-feeling movie that I am almost more likely to watch it around Halloween than I am around Christmastime. That's fair. It's in that weird category. But the word Christmas is in the title, no? I don't love that pick, David. It's my list.

You can't combine spooky with Christmas. He's the spooky season guy. Time out. Christmas Carol does absolutely that. The entire premise is multiple ghosts. Is it on my list? Multiple ghosts. Is it on my list? Multiple ghosts. Is it on my list?

I don't think so. That has stood the test of time. Widely regarded as a classic. Scrooged is literally based off of it. I think you should respect my list. I think your list stinks. My list rocks. Go ahead, Will.

My list rocks. What's your last pick, Will? It's tough for me because there's a lot left. And one thing I think that we're going to be accused of doing, and I think we have done this, is we're kind of skipping over some of the real classics out there. Yeah. And I'm going to keep doing that. He's going to apologize to nobody.

You're going to do Bad Santa, aren't you? No, I'm not doing Bad Santa. That's a good pick. That's a good movie. I'm choosing one that is an uncomfortable watch, but it's a very nice watch. I very much enjoy it. The aesthetic of the movie is so on point. Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, The Family Stone.

Haven't seen that. I've never heard of it. You'd like it. I think you'd like it. I'd like to give a special shout out to Luke Wilson for his role in this movie. Very cool. I very much identify with him in this movie. Very cool. I very much identify with him in this movie.

Oh, this is quite the cast. Oh, it's stacked, baby. Diane Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Dermot Moroney, Luke Wilson, as you stated, and Claire Danes. Just saying. Her so-called life. Oh, Craig T. Nelson? Yeah. What, coach? Yeah.

What? We out here. This is a good... Highly recommend. It's an uncomfortable watch. It's kind of like a... In what way? Meet, what we out here? This is a good Highly recommend. It's an uncomfortable watch. It's kind of like a what way meet the parents He almost like there's just parts where you're like, oh my god. Why is this going like this stop? Okay with my last pick you're saying there's a cringe element. Mm-hmm. I have six listed here cringe Kringle I'm gonna tell you what my six are and I'm gonna pick the one that I'm gonna pick Okay, I have Santa Claus. I have Bad Santa.

Miracle on 34th Street. It's a Wonderful Life. Elf. And a Charlie Brown Christmas. You're missing two from that list that I would add as being something that should be in the conversation. Can I name those two movies? Yes.

Polar Express. For some people. I'm not saying for me. Their mouths look weird. Everyone knows that. The worst animation of all time. Yeah. And then. You sent me their mouths look weird everyone knows that the worst animation of all time yeah

and then you sent me that recently a link to that oh that was the Paul Herr Express sorry different movie you stomp

the other movie I would add to this list and it's an underrated one but one I watched just last weekend Four Christmases starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon

I hated that movie dude I watched that for the first time I think. Ooh, I hated that movie. Dude, I watched that for the first time last year. Dude, I think I like it. I hated that movie. I didn't hate it. I think I like it. It's good for what it is. It's good for what it is. If you like Vince Vaughn, you'll like it. All that said, my last pick is gonna go to The Charlie Brown Christmas. I'm just happy you didn't say

Elf. No. Elf is, look, Elf is not a bad movie. It's very polarizing. People love it, people hate it. I'm in the, it's like, it's not a bad movie, it's just not a good movie. I feel bad for it because, like, the whole point of the movie is just trying to, it's like just Will Ferrell being, like, really happy,

but his happiness in that movie pisses me the fuck off. I don't care for it at all. It's the Ted Lasso of Christmas movies. I took my, dude, I'm gonna's the Ted Lasso of Christmas movies. I took my... Dude, I'm going to watch the Ted Lasso Christmas episode

on Christmas this year, I think. Oh, that's an incredible episode. Yeah. Man, I crushed my list, guys. Charlie Brown, that's a good one. Thanks, Dave.

I didn't know we were doing animated features, but then again, I did... I didn't know we were doing mafia movies, so I guess... That's a Christmas scene.

We'll let the people decide who won this one. We'll see. I think it's going to be me. We'll see. It's not really that close. We'll see. Our final one, Dylan's a Christmas scene. We'll let the people decide who won this one. We'll see. I think it's going to be me. We'll see. It's not really that close. We'll see. Our final one.

Dylan had Christmas Vacation, Home Alone 2, A Christmas Story, and A Charlie Brown Christmas. I had Home Alone, Love Actually, The Holiday, and Family Stone. And Dave had Scrooged, The Godfather, Ernest Saves Christmas, and Nightmare Before Christmas. Dave's list is wiling out here. People love the diversity. People love the diversity. People love the diversity in the list. Dave's wild. Dave's unhinged.

Very cool. Speaking of diversity, do you ever need a little more diversity when it comes to your workouts? Absolutely. Do you ever feel like you're just hitting the same muscle groups all the time? Yeah. Thanks for calling me out, but yeah, I do. Don't get stuck doing the same workouts, Dylan. You've got to pay attention to those legs once in a while, maybe the pecs once in a while. You're just all glamour muscles. Making progress towards the future you means overcoming

new challenges, and FitBod creates a fitness program that continually adapts with new exercises and dynamic intensity that adjust to how you're progressing, so you'll be challenged to meet your goals at your own pace. As we all know, there's no perfect body that everyone can achieve, but what we can do is continually become a better version of ourselves. They say if you're trying to go on a fitness jersey, just get rid of the scale. Let me walk you through. In the past, I've walked you through workouts before that they've tailored for me. From the startup screen, I'm going to just go there. Hit it.

I'll show you how it gets going. You first pick if you're a beginner, intermediate, or advanced. And then what you do is it asks you you what your reason for joining FitBot is. Do you want to increase muscle size? Do you want to lose weight? I want to bulk the fuck up. Okay. Wow.

Sorry. I just want to add muscle. Unfortunately, bulk the fuck up is not an option. Sorry. It's bulking season. I just want to put on some raw muscle and lose some weight. After that, it says, where do you exercise? It says garage

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And their algorithm uses that data and analytics to help you build on your last workout to maximize your results. These are balanced workouts so you can avoid overworking muscles with varied exercises to keep you sharp. No equipment, no worries. Oh, you're on vacation? You're trying to get a little pump in before hitting the pool, but you don't feel like going to the gym? Guess what? They got body weight routines for those looking to get fit at home or on the go. Before I go to the pool on vacation, I like to not only get to work in them, but I don't eat all morning.

I just show up looking emaciated. Dude, he's going full liver king on them. I'm going full Drew on them. You're a savage. Yeah. It integrates with other fitness and health apps like Apple Health, Fitbit, and Strava. And personalized training, as we all know, can be tough on a budget. But FitBod's only $9.99 a month, or get this, the better deal, $59.99 a year.

It's like half off if you went by monthly versus getting a year-long membership. There it is. Sign up, and you'll get 25% off your membership. Pick up the pace on your fitness journey with FitBod today, and your future self will thank you. Get 25% off your membership at FitBod.me slash steam. That's 25% off at FitBod.me slash steam. You know we like a nice little local story. And one hit the TL today.

Man, I can't believe this is real. What is our man doing? We've had a couple stories about some stuff going on within, I don't know, Austin school districts. Yeah, normally when we talk substitute teachers or teachers, there's something salacious, potentially. But I mean, I guess this one might fall into that category. How much fun was Substitute Teacher Day? It was the best. I mean, imagine this. Did y'all have any

like, you guys definitely had like, ranked subs. Like, when you knew that you were getting this sub, you were getting more excited for it, right? Or did you guys go to such big schools that you didn't have regular subs? No, we did. It was a relatively small sub pool. We would see some familiar faces come through, but we didn't have like, favorites.

We had favorites. There was one that apparently came to school, and he had to sub the shop class. And they tied... He was on a lot of cough medicine, and he fell asleep at his desk,

and they tied him to his desk. No. That's not cool. Not only that, but he was asked... They didn't want him to fall over. He couldn't return because he was clearly like, and he was definitely intoxicated on. Dude, let our man RoboTrip. He was on some tussin'. Some RoboTussin'.

Maybe he was trying to kill a cough, like Malcolm Kelly. Yeah. Maybe. But this, this beats anything that a sub, any movie a sub has wheeled into the class to show you for the next two hours. This happened at Bowie? Is that how you spell it? Bowie, South Austin.

Yeah. A substitute teacher brought a karaoke machine and he went the fuck off during first hour. Let's just get a little taste of how it sounded. First hour. It's eight in the morning. Randy, you might need to unmute the video. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I It also has the cold candle lights in there that are just like club lights. Take a shuggy lip, cause I'm on a ride. You're toxic, I'm sippin' on you.

We can taste how my poison terrorized. I'm addicted to you. Don't you know that you're toxic? You're kind of shitty. You're kind of low key it. And I love what you do. Don't you know that you're toxic? He's kind of shitty. He kind of low-key is. And I love what you do. Don't you know that you're toxic? So.

Intoxicating now. We've been loving now. I think I'm ready now. I think I'm ready. I think I'm ready now. I think I He was like, I gotta talk to this guy. No, I mean, because he pretty much nailed it, other than the fact that he was sitting behind a teacher's desk the whole time. I don't even think he was looking at the lyrics.

Was he trying to get fired? Was he bummed he got called in that day? I'm surprised. He had a hot lunch date, and he was like, I gotta get out of here before lunch. When you said, did you see this headline, I thought, okay, was it kind of a fun incentive for the class? Like at the end of the day, if you guys do all your work, get it all turned in in time, I will do karaoke, make an ass of myself.

It'll be funny. No, this dude was just, this dude's a performer. He's just trying out new stuff. And he's like, you know what? No better audience than these 16-year-olds. But are y'all not surprised that he was sent home for this? I can understand being reprimanded, like Brad in the hall

was like, hey, you gotta cut the karaoke, dude. To just fire him on the spot? Bring a new sub in? Why did he choose Britney Spears' Toxic of every song he could possibly choose? Because it's a bop? That's what he led with, first hour. What would be your go-to if you're substituting at bowie high school that's hard that's hard i don't know

first hour do they all have their phones out he knows this isn't gonna end well it's like eight in the morning and he's busting out toxic with the club lights we need this guy and micah to do a Versus together. Oh, shit. I don't think Micah wants this, Mo. Did you all see the fight at the Versus last week between Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and Triple Six? No, what'd I miss?

Busy Bone got a little aggressive and started calling him out, and he threw a water bottle at them, and a fight ensued. Yeah. Damn. Shouts to Busy, though. It was really something. Lil' Flip are busy, though. It was really something. Lil' Flip came out, though. Who won?

Depends on who you ask. I think 3-6. Bone just... Bone's obviously... Bone, bone, bone, bone, bone. Their song selection was a little bit interesting. They're top-heavy with their hits, I think. I think 3-6 has some deeper...

Don't talk about Bone like that, man. No, I'm not saying they're bad. I'm just saying they're a little more top-heavy when it comes to their heaters. 3-6 also brought out Lil Wayne. Bone thugs raised me, dude. Like, stop. Really? Did they put a sweatshirt on you on your way to school on days when it might... When a cold front might be coming through? Multiple layers.

Layered me up on crispy December mornings. Should we get this king on the podcast? He's clearly got the time. He's local. He can't be that far away from us. This is enormous. Can I say, this isn't the first time he's done this. I'm going to guess. He's attempted this somewhere else.

I want to know how loud the music was inside the classroom. Was it disturbing classrooms around them? Had to. That's probably what got the attention of administrators. And they were like, That's fair. I've had principals come into classrooms, weird, and see what a sub was doing and see that the sub wasn't doing anything

and say, hey, you need to stick to the lesson plan and not show them Cliffhanger, for example, Sly Stallone. Great movie. Great movie. Probably not what we needed to watch in fourth grade, but we did. But I've never seen, I don't think it's out of bounds for them to come in and say you know what man maybe you should just go home i don't you just did toxic at 8 15 but we hadn't even done the morning announcements yet but like i don't know if we needed that subs put movies on all the time that's

what i'm saying that's so different you know yeah i would say that performing a britney spears song is a little different than putting on an educational feature. But is it a fireable offense, though? Hard to say. Maybe this wasn't strike one for him. I read a story that he got a job. He got another sub job at an Austin high school and was also sent home. But they have not said what for.

But this KXAN news article speculates that it was for performing another song, possibly Lady Gaga, which I absolutely need to see that video. I stand this king. He's got good taste, man. What if he just did Poker Face like at 8 a.m.? My, my, my, my poker face. Oh.

Yeah, exactly. What's her best song? Ooh. Definitely Poker Face. Bad Romance, of course, is good. A Million Reasons is probably one of my faves. I like Born This Way. That's a great song.

It's a heater. It's a heater. She's got so many pops. She's just so hard to read with that Poker Face of hers. It's true. That's facts. That's facts. Yeah.

Shallow's great, too. I'll say it. It's great. Enough. What is it? Eh. Yeah. Shallow's great too. I'll say it. It's great. Enough. What is it? Eh. Eh. What's up with these chicken tenders?

Are they going extinct? I have a question. There's a supply shortage. Why is it just chicken tenders and not like the entire chicken? I think it's a combination of the ingredients and the processing

required to make a chicken tender because it's not like you're just and the processing required to make a chicken tender. Because it's not like you're just getting the chicken breast and serving it. You have to run it through the machine, and it does all the stuff to it, and then it comes out as a strip. What about chicken nugs? You would think that they would be in the same boat. Okay, so here's the question. Stand, mute, cancel.

Chicken tenders, chicken nuggets, chicken on the bone. I stand chicken on the bone I'm a traditionalist I'm canceling chicken on the bone no offense that's soft chicken nugs and boneless wings for me are in the same family unless it's a wing

a wing I love I love the flat love them they're fun to eat the frat the flat okay Love them. They're fun to eat. The frat? The flat. Okay. Total flat move.

Should we do it like a chicken blog and just call it total flat move? It's not the worst idea. Dude, for me, I'm standing tenders. I'm killing chicken on the bone. I get the traditionalist mentality there, Dave, but at the end of the day,

if I can get rid of a bone, I'm getting rid of the bone. Unless it's bone thugs. Facts. Unless it's busy bone. Yeah. I need him in my corner starting fights with people. Same list, man.

I'm a traditionalist, he says, about chicken. So apparently the... Get out of here. I feel like a lot of people would agree with me. Yeah, but as much as they loved my Christmas list... From the gravy and godfather guy over here. They're going to love my chicken takes. God. Hey, make sure you tweet Dylan if you ride with my Christmas list. From the gravy and godfather guy. They're going to love my chicken takes. God.

Hey, make sure you tweet Dylan if you ride with my chicken takes. Thanks. And make sure you tweet Dave if his Christmas movie list stinks, which it does. No one will tweet me, and if they do, they'll get blocked.

Damn, you're a savage. Damn, dude. I didn't know you were a savage. Are we actually concerned about this shortage, or do we think our prices are just going to go up when we go hit Popeye's? This seems like a distraction, trying to distract our attention from the Maxwell trial. What's Big Chicken up to?

You think Big Chicken is trying to distract us from the sex and grooming trial of Ghislaine Maxwell? That's what you're saying. I believe it is a combination of Big Chicken and big media. It's the Tyson family And their factory farms Maybe like Les Wexler is trying to put big chicken out there Just for people to avoid Look into that name, folks

There's been a lot of people A lot of people relieving themselves of their roles lately, Dave All weirdly happened on Monday last week Oh, Jack I don't really believe that lately, Dave. All weirdly happened on Monday last week. Ha! Ha! Oh, Jack. I don't really believe that, but... I don't either, but I do like the tweets. He's a wild card, man. Let's talk about Solo Stove.

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It's like a modern-day chiminea. It's amazing what these things are doing. Yeah, except there's, like, very little smoke. There's nothing worse than going and sitting down at a fire and getting hit with the smoke in the face, and then you move and suddenly the wind changes and you're getting smoked again. How does it always know how to find you, you know?

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Are we doing it? What'd our man Lou Vega do? Did he hit him with that five on the Mambo front? Is it Vega? I thought it was Vega. Well, it just depends on how you say it. Lou Vega. Is that right?

I don't know. I thought it was Vega. I don't know. You know, the reason we probably don't know is because he hasn't had a song on the radio here in about 25 years. What year did Mambo No. 5 come out? Doesn't matter. Anyway. 1999 is my guess.

This tweet came across the TL earlier. Lou Bega singing Mambo No. 5 at a concert in support of Polish troops defending the eastern border amid a migration crisis is the most surreal thing I've seen in a long time. The merits of which this which this um migration crisis is occurring we don't know we're not going to talk on that but what we are going to talk about is a you know a support the troops a rally to get the get the the boys in uniform all hyped up and they brought in lubega

a little bit of jessica in my life you know did he do did he ad-lib and do like Polish names I don't know if lubegg has got that in his bag he's German yes little bit of Sandra in the Sun did he choose a American residency much like that boy? Oh, me. Yeah, talking about you. Maybe. A little bit of Mary all night long. Stop it. Do like a Polish name. Dave, you're going to have to help me out here.

I don't know a Polish name. Little bit of Randy Trumbacky. There you go. He's Polish, right? Randy, what are your thoughts? Give me a nod if you're down with Lubega. Oh, you big nod. Lubega fucks. I hate the Cupid shuffle and stuff like that. if you're down with Lubega. Oh, you big nod. Lubega fucks. I hate the Cupid shuffle and stuff like that.

I know that's not Lubega. But I do enjoy Mambo No. 5 still. When that comes on, I do get a little excited. If you like Mambo No. 5, wait until you hear Mambo No. 6. Yeah, does he have four other versions that we're just sleeping on this entire time? Eh, Mambo No. 1 was kind of mid. He swung and missed on Mambos 1 through 4 Mambo No. 1 was kind of mid. Yeah. He swung and missed on Mambos 1 through 4.

Then he just absolutely hit it out of the park. He's a persistent fucker. No, he had a couple foul tips in there, but he really knocked it out of the park with 5. You know Lou Begna's name is David? Is that true? Are you guys the same person? Dude, what? You're both German and his name's David? Did you sing Mambo No. 5?

It came out in 2000. A little bit of jam pure sack in my life. When I was in high school. Oh, it actually says 99. That's what I guessed, dog. Oh, mine said 2000. The internet's Wikipedia on that.

Brett, how many of your breaking news stories have we done already? No one is thirstier than Wikipedia for money. What's up with that? I don't know. Have you done them? I have not looked at them. I just know Dylan tried to do one.

It looks like you pivoted. Good for you. Sure. Well, since you're here today, if you want to go mysteryhuts, better.com, morelikeworse.com, or Jack and the Taco. Ooh, Jack and the Taco. Let's go. Jack and the Botch has acquired the number two Mexican food chain in the country, Del Taco.

That's the number two Mexican chain in the country? The second largest Mexican fast food chain in the U.S. for a deal valued at $575 million. Behind Taco Bell? Are they going to like, you got to think that's number one, yo. I'll be honest. I don't think Del Taco is very good. I've never been. I have no experience with that.

Shouts to Jack. Doesn't Jack in the Box already have their tacos? Yeah, are they going to change that? Unclear. They said Jack in the Box, though, is they're making a push. They want to be up there with the big boys. I respect that. Jack woke up this year and was like, no.

I once ate 12 Jack in the Box tacos before a high school baseball game. I told you all that. Why'd you do that? Didn't go well. You put up nubbies? I don't think I played well that game. I don't know why I did it. I definitely ate like four-day-old Jack in the Box tacos that weren't even in a fridge,

that were in my Pledge Brothers car during the final week of my pledge process. Hell week. You can say that. Allegedly. Was that like a... Was that on purpose? Jesus. I mean, yeah,

we didn't have any... We didn't have much of a choice. Yeah. Well, no. Well, we weren't forced to do that. It was more like out of necessity. Oh, okay. That sounds so sad.

Yeah, it was real sad. Real cheap, though. It's true. Congratulations to Jack in the box. 99 cents for two. That's true. Congratulations to Jack in the Box. 99 cents for two. That's big. Do you think they did this after the Gojo acquisition fell through? We're doing that?

We're not allowed to talk about that show. Was it Gojo? Gojo. All of our business listeners get really mad. I'm losing LinkedIn contacts every time we talk about it. I'm just bleeding. Pleased to announce that it's what every LinkedIn post is. After working at Strategic Comms, Inc. for two years,

I'm now taking an account executive job at Strategic Influencer. Let's see. What else you got for us, Brett? Hey, Randy, can you help me out with this mystery hut? Oh, yeah. I like a good mystery hut. China's U-2-2 rover has spotted a cube-shaped mystery hut on the far side of the moon. What if it's just a rock?

What if it's a Nissan Cube, like I said earlier? Well, it's 260 feet away from the rover, and they're going to investigate it, Dylan. Yeah, it's going to take two to three days to get closer to it. Should be moving slow up there. No, two to three lunar days, that's two to three months on Earth. What? Things be moving slow up there.

They're like little Lego robots. I mean, they're like little servo motors. I don't understand time in certain parts of space compared to time on Earth. Please don't try to explain it to me because my brain is going to just – Well, Dylan, the moon is tidally locked with the Earth. What's that movie where they're like one day on here is like seven years on Earth? So let's get the job done quickly or some shit like that.

Interstellar is what you're thinking. Is that accurate? Yes. How does that work? Because gravity, Dylan. I feel like I need to come clean right now about this shack on the moon. We're actually opening a Wilmont satellite location. Is this a pop-up?

Yeah, it was a pop-up that we were trying to get ready for the next year, and unfortunately the Chinese government has investigated, and they're about to find out. They nationalized your tiki restaurant. What are the chances that this is an elaborate marketing scheme for somebody? God, if this is a brand, oh my God. If this is a brand activation, then it's a goaded brand activation. Explain how time is different up there.

I need to know, man. Well, it's not different on the moon. Because, I know, I'm talking about where Interstellar was. I don't know, dude. We're orbiting the sun. The moon's orbiting us, right? Yeah. So shit should just be different.

Some people, you know. What if it's a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell? That's a good question. Then I'm buying Yum Brand stock. Taco Bell was like, wait, Del Taco just got bought? All right. So you fire up that moon location. You could leave Earth and go to that interstellar planet.

Yeah. And come back like a day later. Interstellar planet. And your wife is remarried and has a four-year-old. It's quite sad. It's like, oh my God, what happened? This is the plot of Interstellar. She would be dead.

It would be like 50,000 years later. I left Interstellar nodding my head like, wow, what a movie. I had no clue what happened. Just iconic soundtrack. For that two hours, I had no clue. Who was it? That Hans Zimmer dude? I don't know.

If you go to W.R. Bowen's house at any random time, he might be blaring the Interstellar soundtrack. Why does it take so long to travel over there? It's like a football field away. Because Chinese technology stinks? It's a rover. I'm pretty sure that, yeah, those things can't move very fast. Do you remember the dude driving the four-wheeler on the moon? The U.S. guys put up there?

They're like bouncing up and down? That thing was humming. If I was up there, I would get there sooner. on the moon, the U.S. guys put up there, they're like bouncing up and down. That thing was humming. If I was up there, I would get there sooner. Yeah, that was truck month, though. It was different. Was it a Hemi? Yeah. It was a Cummins diesel.

I'm trying to make a moon joke. I don't have one. There's a tide joke somewhere within opening a Wilmonds on the moon, but I just can't get there. We're still trying to figure out how to explain to Dylan the whole. Yeah. And like none of us. Like you have a good explanation for it. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Like none of us want to put ourselves out there. I just don't have time right now. The answer is look up the theory of relativity. It's weird, man. You'll be able to get there. This Einstein dude was onto something. He was, man. You'll be able to get there. This Einstein dude was onto something. He was, man. He really was.

If you are up there for like 24 real hours and you come back to Earth, you haven't aged anymore, but like everyone else has? Like, what the fuck? Yeah, so that's relativity for you because you experience

only in your most local environment what the conditions around you are portraying. And because you're so close to a black hole in that movie, that is why. I could spend a lifetime studying this and I still wouldn't understand. So I'm going to stop trying. Well, think of it this way. Will's brain is going so fast right now trying to get it. You ever been in a car, Dylan, on a highway? Yeah, Brett. Okay. So things are going by you really quickly to somebody standing outside your car, you're going 70 miles an hour,

but you're just sitting there with a tennis ball, throwing it up and down. It's just sitting there. But time is still the same to us. Yeah, but that's... Do people, smart people, our friends in STEM are just punching the wall? Yes, but you just have to magnify that. Apologies to the ladies in STEM. Yeah, shout out to all the ladies in STEM out there.

That's an analogy by about a factor of 10. All right. It's a factor of 10. All right. It's called time dilation. It's a concept that pops up a lot in sci-fi, including Orson Scott, Cards, Ender's Game, where one character ages only eight years in space while 50 years pass on Earth. Thank you, David. This is precisely the scenario outlined in the famous thought experiment, the twin paradox, of course. An astronaut with an identical twin at mission control makes a journey into space on a high- high speed rocket and returns home to find that the twin has aged faster yeah she's a

fucking high speed rocket a racket time dilation goes back to eisenstein's theory of special relativity it explains it yes but do i understand it no i think i just i just nailed it let me see i could have said it better myself very similar to what MIT's technology review said. Interesting. Will you familiar with Better.com? No. They do something with mortgages. Okay. They laid off 900 employees on a Zoom call.

I saw that. I saw someone did that. I was not aware it was Better.com. 900. Yeah, they do get a month of severance and three months of health insurance. Yeah, they do get a month of severance and three months of health insurance. But literally immediately upon that Zoom call, you're laid off. So the thing is, though, this is not the first time he's done this. How many employees does Better.com have?

900 is a lot of people. That's 15% of their workforce, I think. That's three of my high schools. Don't worry, though. They're doing okay. They have more than one billion dollars in cash on their balance sheet so oh okay for some reason those 900 people uh whenever i have a billion dollars in surplus i always let go of a majority of my employees right before the holiday season right do you think the ceo will withhold like a bonus this year well it's funny dave uh the ceo's best friend

uh-huh uh who also works for the company, he received, let's see, the packages in this article. I just have to find it. Tracking packages. Right. Literally. Tune in Wednesday. Oh.

Massive perks, such as millions of dollars worth of stock options that vested immediately, and that person was later placed on administrative leave for bullying. invested immediately, and that person was later placed on administrative leave for bullying. So his best buddy got millions of dollars worth of stock options, but then he bullied somebody. I heard a bunch of these people tried to do a Britney Spears toxic performance on the Zoom call, and he just let them go off, like, right away. In a further email, Mr. Gard is his name, He said, quote, you are too damn slow. You're a bunch of dumb dolphins.

So stop it. Stop it. Stop it right now. You are embarrassing me, he said. That was a dolphin. What's his problem? He sounds like kind of a loser who's firing people because of market conditions, performance, and productivity. It's a massive company that I've never heard of.

How, okay, so I guess I had never really put into perspective the mass layoff in the work-from-home era. So doing that over a Zoom call, which this guy's surely not the first, won't be the last, but it... Yeah, what was the alternative, to be fair? That's a good question. Yeah, you can't get 900 people in a room. I think it's more about the right before Christmas

timing. True. You could have waited until right after New Year's. Fiscal 2021's already over. It's like... Is it better to fire everybody and give them a month of severance or is it better to keep them on for a month, fire them after the holidays and give them no severance? I don't know if you can fire 900 people with no severance. You gotta give them a month of severance, or is it better to keep them on for a month? Fire them after the holidays and give them no severance.

I don't know if you can fire 900 people with no severance. You've got to give them some savvy. Yeah, you've got to get savvy involved. Ballesteros over here. RIP. He also, after he told them that it's because of market efficiency, performance, and productivity, he told the Fortune magazine that employees were stealing from their colleagues by being unproductive and only working two hours a day.

Good for them. It's work from home. Hey, did you hear about my Christmas movie draft? How well it went? Everyone's been talking about it. Well, Randy tweeted that Dave sucked. I didn't see this tweet. I heard you had the number one draft pick. I did.

That's kind of how these things go, though. If you get the number one pick, you really set the tone. Christmas Vacation. I've never gotten the number one pick, and I feel like I've had some pretty good drafts, just being honest. Didn't I have the sixth pick? Didn't you have the first pick in the candy draft? I don't think so. I take you to the candy draft.

I did it in Turkey, though. I got a big dressing. Ovs. I don't think Christmas Vacation is a number one pick. Okay, Brett. It's a top three. This guy. I think. It's probably top five. Ovs. I don't think Christmas Vacation is like a number one pick. Okay. I mean it's a first. Okay Brett. It's a top three.

This guy. I think. It's probably it's top five. This guy. I'd say. What would you pick number one?

I did have the number one pick by the way. I'm sorry. I lied. I had the Halloween candy number one pick. I don't have a problem with that.

Yeah. I think that's fair. That's my number two movie. Okay. Who took it? This guy right here. Beat DeFreezy? He got Home Alone 2. No. I took it? This guy right here. Bill DeFriese? He got Home Alone 2.

I got Home Alone 2. Speaking of Will DeFriese, did you see Northern Michigan's under a blizzard warning? Oh, it'd be snowing up there. It'd be snowing. Very jealous. It was snowing at Dave's earlier. I went on Find Friends yesterday and saw some of my friends just posted up at the local ski area, and they weren't on the hill. They were drinking some major pitchers.

You know what? That sounds so fucking sick right now. I would love to be like your friend group and have all of my buddies on Fine Friends so I can do just that. Be like, oh, see the boys are at Gem Saloon. You've got to check in on your boys. Wish I was there. I have so many people on Fine Friends.

But some people think that's weird. I don't care. I like knowing what my boys are doing. You want to Fine Friend me? Yeah, dude. I got Will on there. Really? Yeah, you're about to get axed, though.

Why? Because you're, like, too close to me in life. Like, I like having people on there who I know can't just come find me. I'm not going to come find you. I lie to you a lot about what I'm doing, though. So you have Will, but Will doesn't have you? No, we have each other. Yeah, we did it in New Orleans just in case I got. I figured Dylan was a responsible pick to have my location for the time when I would eventually go missing.

If you take me off, my feelings are going to be hurt. I'm just telling you. I don't know. Might be taking them off. Randy, just a stunning typo in this tweet. Who I want us to go see before. Colleges? It's going to make you mad.

Oh, this is not good. We need to get out of here so we can talk to Randy about this. All right, Will, if I add you, will you add me? I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. This is like a PFT-style intentional tweet. Tough. Randy. Okay.

Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. you