Circling Back - The Cringe Draft & Flight Attendants

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

Yep, it's The Cringe Draft where we drafted all things that make our skin crawl. We also discuss the tone-def MLB player who expects everyone to clean up after him, Will's breakdown of a Wedding Announcement, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:10) Who cleans up the plane? (28:30) The Cringe Draft (1:01:33) Cat Lady Wedding Announcement (1:09:20) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (BACKER for 20% off) Athletic Greens: www.athleticgreens.com/circling (FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase) Stamps: www.stamps.com/circlingback (4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker 0 Speaker 1 Speaker 0 Speaker 1 All right. We're back circling back podcast coming to you live from Austin, Texas. My name is Will DeFreeze. To my left, the Davey Star. Dave Roth. What is that? That was cringe. Is that my porn star name? Davey Star.

It's a play on the noted gossip rag, the Daily Star. You might have heard of it. Dave thought it was a Rachel Star play because he's such a per remember we saw her at nordstrom i do remember in dallas when we were then what was the really expensive piece of clothing the guy showed us like a jacket oh no i tried on a vest that was a suede vest and i was like man this thing is really nice like i could just feel how nice it was and i looked at the uh the tag and it was thirty nine hundred dollars did you get it nah i stole it though was it a technical vest really yeah i put it on under my jacket for that much money that has to be bulletproof and look dope it's got to be a bulletproof john it felt like there was like it felt like it was suede on the outside but it felt

like it was filled with like other layers of suede It just had that weight to it. You know I love pushing weight. That's what's up. Hey, I don't know what movie this is, but per the Daily Star, Will, it says Netflix fans, quote, physically throwing up over, quote, most disgusting horror film ever. Physically throwing up.

Not like mentally throwing up. Not a mental vomit. This is a physical vomit. Is this the one we talked about a few months ago? I haven't clicked the link, but why don't you tell us about that while I look into it? If Dave clicks the link to find out, he's going to get a virus. Remember, we talked about this. People were leaving the theater because they were vomiting.

Does it say? It's the 2019 thriller, The Platform. Oh, different one. Man. Different one. Yeah. What if we the 2019 thriller, The Platform. Oh, different one. Man. Different one. Yeah. What if we threw up together watching The Platform? What if we...

Yeah, dude. He threw up a lot. That was a big part of his game back in the day. Do you think he regrets it? Do you think he regrets it? Do you think it made his voice what it is today? I think there's some other things that yeah had more to do with the uh the voice like probably numerous cigarettes and out of all the things that he probably regrets throwing up is probably not one of them like one time i saw him

get his butt cheeks pierced together you know like he probably regrets that one a little bit more i like that oh yeah they're pierced together yeah you don't see that too often. No, no, that's a rarity. I always liked the tattoo he got while in the back of the SUV while it was off-roading. It was a Henry Rollins. It's a good bit of a tattoo. Henry Rollins, that's right. Not a good time to get a tattoo.

As a guy who doesn't have any, I feel confident saying, you should do it while you're not in a vehicle, especially an off-road vehicle. Very still environment. Right. Probably the best. Yeah. Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen.

Why don't I direct you guys, if you'll bear with me for a sec, to a comment from YouTube under one of our videos. An episode. Okay. A very recent episode. Okay. You have my attention? It says,

These guys are trying to limit my za intake while binging 12 tacos and two match visits in one weekend i won't stand for za being singled out like this uh interesting do we need to first of all revoke dave's co-card and what do you guys have to say about yourselves uh i know that i'm trash for going to mats twice in one weekend but here's the thing if i want to eat za twice in one week and Dave's going to have 12 freaking tacos over a two-day period. Same transaction. Same tacos. Maybe you guys should reevaluate.

Dylan, I know you're trying to compare your situation to mine, but they are sufficiently dissimilar. Why are you trying to compare tacos to pizza? Yeah, what's up with that? This dude ran Matt's back twice in one weekend or was it one day? Yeah, when Mickey Weans comes calling, wants to go to Matt's still in, you answer that phone call, you go. Thank you, Will. Mickey Weans.

I haven't heard that in a minute. I don't know, man. I think maybe you should just check yourself a bit, Dave. You're getting a little too big for your britches. Oh, you're saying I've gained weight? Yeah, probably mass because I've been deadlifting. Yeah, because of those fucking tacos. I did eat 12 tacos in a 24-hour period.

I wasn't even going to bring that up today, but you brought it up. Yeah, I did. It was all part of the same carnitas transaction. People are wondering if I'm going to play my meat card this week. Hat tip, Randy, for bringing this. You going out of town by yourself, for bringing this to my attention. What's up? That's good, then. Or she'll leave it, though.

Hey! We out here! Freaking jacking in. Masturbation jokes. You'll love to see it. Dylan Chivary! Not amused. Speaking of absolutely pulverizing your meat, here's Dylan. I was already intro'd. Oh. Have you been making chicken piccata lately? You're just pulverizing your meat, here's Dylan. I was already intro'd. Oh. Have you been making chicken piccata lately?

You're just pulverizing that? I've never made chicken piccata. Last night? You went piccata town last night. Alyssa took me to piccata town. How was it? It was a one-way ticket. It was phenomenal.

And even though our son, who tries everything to delay bedtime, tried to absolutely hijack the dinner um it was still great does he not know that it's picada summer so i tried to explain to him he's still he's still in white boy summer really still in that chet hanks grind yeah he's he loves chet he follows his workout program remember that chet shout out we got that we paid for did we pay for it wasn't it a cameo that's dude i don't know i didn't pay for it all the check content just blends together at this point what if y'all found out i'd just been like going crazy on cameo with the company card not

telling anybody but it had nothing to do with any of us like i was just sending my boy it'd be tight if you would have to put a stop it'd be way tighter if you were just on Cameo for circling back just like stacking paper doing Cameo. It's like, what, dude? Side hustle. There's a white boy summer joke in the most recent season of Lil Dicky's Dave. It's good to see Chet Hanks get the respect that he deserves. Oh, man.

Let's get some official business out of the way because we've got a full episode absolutely stacked today first and foremost yesterday we did exactly five minutes on patreon patreon.com circling back podcast go check it out some tuesdays we do touching base to conspiracy podcasts it's fun we like to have fun and right now we're doing a free 14-day trial for new patrons you can also go watch every episode of circling back at youtube.com circling back or you can shop all the merch at washedmedia.shop i got some news for you guys okay you guys ready for this oh no did they invade taiwan

dude it's time for will's five-star review of the week. Gasp. What's cooler than the other thing? Okay. You guys ready for it? It's from noted listener BD. What does that stand for, I wonder? I don't know.

He has a last name on here, but I don't know how to pronounce it. And I don't want to dox our mans. Big Dookie. BD Energy? I knew a guy in high school named Big Dookie. That's his, like, birth name? No. That named Big Dookie. That's his Earth name? No. That's Mondo's alternative name.

That's on his certificate? I just called him Big Dookie, and I never really asked questions. So let's just hypothetically say that he played for, I don't know, Mike Krzyzewski. Oh, like at Duke, you mean? What? Big Dookie. At the Big Dookie. oh like at duke you mean what big dokey was he a big dude you gotta think that's how it would go yeah is he big yes he was a large filler you guys ready for bd's review of our podcast five stars good food but the straws are too short

he says the wife and i went down for dinner the other night i got a few plates of sushi and the crab rangoons while peg had to stay kabachi service was quick and they kept our drinks full only complaint is the straws were too short in the cup and i couldn't drink from these picture attached i couldn't find the picture attached i don't think you can do that through apple podcasts that that did crush that review but like good review i thought this was going a very different direction right you know he just left a review uh we're working on the straw situation just bear with us um we ordered just the wrong the wrong shipment came in basically have y'all seen the meme that's talking about straws no it's like me drinking from like a shitty paper straw and then it's like billionaires and then

it's just a screenshot of a photoshopped mega yacht with wings on it flying through the air it's like yeah that's actually that's actually fast yeah yeah i love turtles like i just don't want a backer to see us out in the wild and then be like yo these guys don't respect turtles i love a turtle man i only drink out of the 7-Eleven spinny loopy loop straws, like the gimmick ones, the novelty straws. Called a crazy straw. Crazy straws. That's all I drink out of.

Figure it out. Unless I'm drinking out of a pixie stick. Yo. Dude, I heard you're not even cutting your six-pack plastic thing. I'm not. I'm cutting my life into pieces. It's my last resort. Pop a roach?

I don't cut the six-pack plastic because I actually enjoy it when ducks die, so I can eat them. You think Ultrarite has a biodegradable six-pack container? They have a – it's shaped just like the regular six-pack one, but you can't cut it. It's really thick plastic. What's worse than that plastic? If they were able to do a styrofoam? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just full, and then they spray it with a little Roundup. They're actively trying to increase everyone's footprint. Wasn't Dylan spraying it Roundup recently? Yeah, your girl was there. yeah it's I mean she's got a kid now she was doing that con I don't think she's been I don't think she's been around up and like 10 you were to see Waka Flocka at Fiji yeah she had to she was there watching the low

rim tournament low dudes just yamming on each other yeah yeah some 19 year old with bangs and a john stockton jersey on just yammed on a guy in a vince carter jersey yeah raptors one original raptors jersey great jersey should have never changed it's gonna be so weird when like our kids are in college and we're just chilling in the metaverse being like dude did you see roads? That Stockton jersey went crazy at 5.0 last weekend. We're just lamping in the meta. Hey, can we hear from our friends over at Athletic Greens? You guys know I like two things in life. It's being athletic and greens.

And luckily, we found the company that puts them both together. It's weird. You act like I didn't start my morning with Athletic Greens before I went to the gym to work out. You're acting like I don't clean out my wife's Athlet greens container every morning when I wake up before having my athletic greens. We're an athletic greens household, dude. You know we are. Our next partner, I mean, this is a product that we literally use every day.

We started taking AG1 because we want better gut health. We talk about this all the time. We don't have time to take all these pills and vitamins all the time. We want it all in one place. And really, we just wanted a supplement that actually tastes great. We want to see what the hype was all about. I've been seeing billboards for Athletic Greens everywhere. They're doing well. And they should be. They should be. Yes, the circling back effect. There's not a better way to start your day. There's simply not.

It's lifestyle friendly. You can be keto, paleo, vegan. You could eat 12 tacos a day. And this isn't going to affect you that much. It's still going to have all the benefits that you're looking for. It contains less than one gram of sugar, Dylan, which is big for you. It's a small micro habit with big benefits. It's the one thing you should do every single day to take care of yourself, and it costs less than $3 a day. You're investing in your health, and it's cheaper than your cold brew habit.

It's cheaper than going and getting a smoothie down the street. Just don't do it. Cheaper than that $15 coffee Dylan used to drink yeah yeah you got that right dave tastes good too tastes really good i enjoy it it tastes better as you go what like it keeps tasting better oh as you go yeah like like like i thought it tasted good to start and like now i'm like i crave it like i'm kind of like oh that sounds nice i would love a mix-in right now but hey right now to make it easy it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition it's just one scoop and a cup of water every day that's it no need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.

Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-boosting support vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash circling. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash circling to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance we've got a bad parent on the tl whoa we have an entitled parent that's on you know that's it depends on uh where you fall on this one some may disagree with you i'm certainly not one of them but some may we're a couple days late to this, which is on brand.

Perfect. Everyone knows that we're baseball guys around here. We like playing baseball. I like throwing baseballs. I do it often. Do you? Yeah, dude. I love throwing it with my friends.

Southpaw, man. Oh, yeah. Situational lefty right here. Yep. I like to go out with my big leather glove and catch a baseball and then throw it back. He's not going to shut down the opposition for three innings straight, but if he can get a couple outs, he'll throw some junk up there. Yeah.

He pitches to contact. Keeps it on the ground. He's got a nasty slider. Sliders are overrated you guys hear about this anthony bass guy i don't trying to move us along in the segment because we're bogging down same genus as rizzo dude i've got that riz what oh shit same genus yeah and speed like the species is, but the genus is Anthony. Okay. And they're both baseball players.

I got to tell you, I wasn't familiar with Anthony Bass' game. I don't think many people are. He's a pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays. Not a great one from what I've seen. Yeah, the reason I saw this story in the first place was because 7.11 ERA was trending. You have one bad inning. Not ideal.

So if you were on social media and i'm assuming most of you are you know the story already but this picture he posted a picture that was taken by his wife who was on the united airlines flight his pregnant wife dylan puts him 20 she's 22 weeks pregnant so half halfway there just over halfway there. She lived on a prayer? It's a picture of his two daughters. One is two. Says he's a Christian. One is two. One is five.

Later. And they're on a plane. Underneath their seat is a bunch of popcorn. Is that smart pop or nah? It's hard to say. But there's popcorn on the floor. White cheddar does? And as children will do, have made a mess with the popcorn.

If you bring just kernels up into elevation, does it just pop on its own? Yeah. Because you know your ears pop famously on a plane. I don't think so, David. That's what I do. That's how I get it through security. They used to call me Sanders because I was a kernel guy. Put down the kernels, sir.

Here's his caption on Twitter. Okay. Again, this is Anthony Bass of the Toronto Blue Jays. He says, Hey, Bass. Okay. Again, this is Anthony Bass of the Toronto Blue Jays. He says, the flight attendant at United just made my 22-week pregnant wife traveling with a five-year-old and two-year-old get on her hands and knees to pick up the popcorn mess made by my youngest daughter. Are you kidding me? Okay. I, i for some reason thought he was on this flight

which wouldn't have made sense because he's traveling with his baseball team that plays 160 his wife took the picture uh before the cleanup happened you know because it's still there's still a mess on the floor like um anthony i got news for you you, man. I don't think they are kidding you. He's getting ratioed. Well, first and foremost. He's getting dunked on. Shout out to these kids getting comfort plus. Great seating situation for a child of that age.

They should be very happy. Somebody responded, genuinely curious, who should clean up the mess your two-year-old made? As a parent of three kids, I'm the one responsible for them he said the cleaning crew they hire oh which of course comes through after the plane has landed and everyone has de-planed okay well I'm looking at the mess and this is interesting because there's an argument for a pregnancy force field. Because as you mentioned in the story, she's 22 weeks pregnant. But I don't think that's preventing anyone from, unless there's something I don't know about, which there's a lot of things I don't know about, from cleaning this up. I think it's important to add that at 22 weeks,

you might be showing, pregnant-wise, but if you're seated down, you're seated on a plane, flight attendant probably had no idea this woman was pregnant. Right. Okay. Just thought she was eating good. Now, what's the respective ages of these kids? Let's guess. I mean mean i would say anywhere between

two and five is it in the tweet they're under like they're under like two and five 17 oh fuck yeah great guess it's almost like i read it earlier um that seems like the five-year-old that's an age where you can be like hey help help help mommy clean mommy's pregnant clean that shit up five years old a five-year-old pull your pull your weight and i mean maybe the two-year-old i don't you know i don't know how far you're gonna get with that dude hit him with the cleanup cleanup everybody everywhere i also they might start doing it you don't know i'm gonna throw a red flag here and challenge um the messaging of the tweet okay the flight attendant made my pregnant wife traveling with a two and a five-year-old clean this up. Have you not seen the other video?

The flight attendant pulled out a gun and put it to his wife and said, clean up this fucking popcorn. The flight attendant made my wife. I called total bullshit on that. Yeah, it wasn't like they're going to not let them get off the plane. Like, hey, clean this up right now. Bullshit. Flight attendants don't do that. If I saw like a snappy flight attendant telling someone to clean up after their kid, popcorn on the ground i would be so excited at that interaction i'd be like oh my god

sally did you just see that but that doesn't happen the lesson that i don't know it doesn't happen i don't know i so i've confronted this in a way at like a restaurant let's use i don't know matt's all rancho oh man for example you bring a kid there you know that you're about to get a bunch of crumbled up tortilla chips and I've apologized to a waiter I've been like

we'll clean this up and I like at Matt's because like they have you know busboys they're used to messes there they're used to people dripping salsa

through the grates of the table things like that they're like one time they're just like no don't even worry about it but like unless someone literally

told me not to worry about it I am way too hyper conscious of the cleanliness situation with my kid at all times it freaks me out i don't want to be the nasty parent that lets shit get everywhere yeah i mean like i said i don't believe that the flight attendant made her do anything because that's flight attendants just don't do that there may have been a suggestion like yeah i'm not going to clean it because I got other stuff to do. But no one said like, hey, you have to clean this up. That just doesn't happen.

You know what I'm saying? Yes. Okay. Five-year-olds should just be cleaning up after themselves. Five-year-old is old enough to like, yeah, hold a bag open for the five-year-old and let her get on the floor and pick up the little kernels and throw it in the bag. What's really trash here is that Anthony really thought he was doing something here. He really thought that he was going to change everything. He didn't just tweet at United.

He didn't do at United, the flight attendant just made – no. He said the flight attendant at United. Yeah. He made sure that all of his followers he made sure that uh all 30.2k of his followers got to see that his wife had to clean up a dozen pieces of smart pop yeah he tweeted it like he was bringing like this this major issue to the public so they could all support him like he messed up by tweeting tone deaf can i offer totally tone can i offer some information some evidence into the record um united provided the popcorn not his wife okay okay i'm not saying this changes anything but i

think that we should know all the facts that it doesn't change a lot for me but that does it makes it better it does change a little bit it does make it a little bit like, okay, well, yeah. You did give him popcorn. And he tweeted, thank you, everyone, for the support. United Airlines is taking care of matters with the flight attendant internally. Dude. Oh, bullshit. Give this flight attendant a raise. There's no way they're firing.

If they fire this person, then this guy. They're pretending to do an investigation into the matter, but they're not actually going to. This is going to go. I think the investigation they were thinking about doing is going to be 10 years too. So I don't think it's worth it. Right. A 10-year investigation. Yeah.

I just don't know if it's worth it. If my kid makes a mess, I'm not going to expect anyone else to clean it up. At a restaurant, I understand kids get shit out of the floor right and i will make some attempts to at least get like the heavy do like the heavy pickup all she had to do was attempt didn't have to make it perfect like they just want to see you get some of the the big pieces of popcorn up yeah and it's not that bad of a mess i mean it's a it's a mess that's going to have to be addressed but it's not look for, for a two-year-old and a five-year-old that ain't nothing. It also looks bad that this guy is a professional athlete, presumably doing pretty well financially.

So he's like, no, one's going to relate to this. He's don't, he's dunking on like the common man. Yeah. No, one's going to relate to this idiot. He is, he's an entitled brat. It's almost like, um, if you have a cleaning person who comes to your house, you're like, oh, cleaning crew's coming. I don't need to clean out this. I can just – Yeah, I'm just going to throw my trash on the floor. Hotel, if you're at a hotel.

Yeah. It's like, oh, I don't care. I'll leave all this on the floor. I'm going to spit on the floor, all that. They're cleaning it. Like, that's just not the right – Why do you spit on the floor, dog? That's disrespectful.

That's what it does, man. People will be spitting. Dude. Mfers be spitting this guy stinks i'd say you could just like pick it up in five second rule but that in fact that popcorn's straight up in sync right now the fact that he tweeted this was was nuts the fact that he hasn't deleted it yet is even more ask me why it's in sync right now ask me how the popcorn's in sync why is the popcorn in sync right now dirty pop oh okay okay he's he sync right now. Why is the popcorn in sync right now? Dirty pop. Oh, okay. Okay. He's not only...

Yeah, he's doubled down on it, Dylan. He's posted a picture of his daughter holding a bag of Skinny Pop. Almost mocking the situation. This is no joke. This guy sucks. Can you... If I found out that someone reported me

for something like this and they had to explore the matter internally, I'm going to the manager and I'm being like, don't you fucking do anything right now. You know where I stand. Transfer me to a better flight time. Give me what I want. Could you be a flight attendant? No. I think I could.

Not in these times. I think I could. Although I feel like we haven't had a good plane altercation, which is a good thing. But there was a stretch there in the last couple years where it was like every week. It was the masks. I want to shake his hand.

You see the guy that was yelling about the baby? I ate a baby. That one? No. Oh, it's not not fat bastard from the baby was crying on the plane and he was he was just losing his shit and um someone from the airline i think it was southwest was trying to calm him down he goes and he was basically like why should i stop yelling when the baby has to stop yelling for 45 minutes and First of all, you're talking about a baby. You're a grown man. I like that thing.

You're a grown man. It's good. He lost his shit. He would not settle down. I might have entered this into the conversation. They don't have headphones? They give them out. They pretty much give them out on flights, right?

When people complain about babies crying on flights, it just shows that they're just swagless they have no they have no headphones they don't they need to get some swag headphones some noise cancelers yeah that's honestly that got me through the trip to florida the first time we flew with roads is that i was like because i was very self-conscious and i thought he's gonna be you know crazy and i was like okay even if he's crying like most people have headphones on a plane just gonna have to look around the majority of people the general hum of the plane neutralizes babies most of the time and when it doesn't if your headphones don't do it then like that kid is sat right next to you losing their fucking mind this dude i was talking about everyone had to deplane because he refused

to get off the plane after he completely lost his temper the what a loser you have to watch this video i take back my statement that we haven't had a good he's airline totally irrational mid-flight conflict totally irrational yeah dude like there's a you're on a you're on a commercial flight there there could be a child babies cry they don't have situational awareness man they don't know that they're disrupting a whole plane full of people the ears are probably popping their ears are busting what if they did have situational awareness and like dave and i just like elbowed our kids and we're like yo like yo chill hey hey yo dude hey be cool player yo it's mega it's mega chill on this plane right now except for you dog it's like oh shit i'm sorry you gotta you gotta do the thing where like, oh, shit, I'm sorry.

You got to do the thing where, like, even if it's not going to do anything, you got to kind of walk it up and down the aisle. Yeah, it's the public display of. And people will give you the look of like, we understand. He's crying. No, I have a kid, too. How old is he? How old is he? Oh, poor baby.

Hey, cherish these years because it goes by fast. You have to find, like, an old woman who's smiling at you doing it, and you say, I'm really sorry about the noise. And then she'll be like, no, it's honestly so funny. And you hand her the baby. Why don't you try? Randy's pulling up the I think you should leave skit. Randy's laughing.

Randy loves to laugh. Randy's happy. Randy's happy. That gets Randy's stamp of approval. You know what gets mine? Stamps.com. Okay. That's laughing. Randy loves to laugh. Randy's happy. Randy's happy. That gets Randy's stamp of approval. You know what gets mine? Stamps.com. Okay. That's good.

That's good, man. Dylan's out here just grinding all the time. That's true. He's our merch guy. Dylan goes and he just grinds. And he just looks at our merch and he says, how do we sell this? Let's go sell this. I say that every day.

And what Dylan knows about this, and I think he also knows this from his days at Singular Wireless Processing Returns and stuff like that, is that sometimes just like going to the post office, doing that kind of stuff, it takes time. Time is money. When every person, moment, and penny counts in your business, you can't afford to take any of them for granted. Stamps.com gets it. Because for the last 25 years, they've been helping businesses like yours save time and money. So you can focus on your business and knowing stamps.com has all your postage needs covered with premium discounts and great rates. It's a post office in your office with stamps.com. All you need is a computer and a printer. They even send you a free scale. So you

have everything you need to get started. And if you need a package pickup, you can easily schedule it through your stamps.com dashboard. That's like the best part. There's nothing worse than having to process a return for yourself and being like, oh man, I got to go through it. I got to go wait in line. I got to go do this. Now, if you can schedule that pickup, you're playing with house money. And if you sell products online, stamps.com seamlessly connects with every major marketplace in your shopping cart. They've even got premium discounts. They got up to 84% off USPS and UPS rates, and they automatically tell you your cheapest and fastest shipping. For 25 years, Stamps.com has been indispensable for over 1 million businesses. It's time to get

on board. Set your business up for success. When you get started at Stamps.com today, sign up with promo code circling back for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale no long-term commitments or contracts just go to stamps.com click the microphone at the top of the page and enter circling back all one word all caps it's time let's do the cringe draft let's fucking ride i was laying in bed the other night just doing that thing that i talked about the other day where i like start making noises it's like i got anxious thinking about some dumb ass shit i did took me a while to think of my first few cringy things to put on this list and then once i started

i couldn't stop yeah i saw you like go in the bathroom and like look in the mirror and splash some water on your face and then you're like oh there's so much cringe right here dog yeah when dave walked in with that fucking shirt on i was like oh i like that shirt what's your problem it's actually a good looking shirt i don't know why his face is just punchable and cringy hallowed bros check them out yeah yeah go support them i guess i would honestly wear that shirt yeah i like it yeah man you're doing great damn dude you're like lance armstrong now it's getting hot in here. Just backpedaling. We're doing the cringe draft. Lance Armstrong?

He did the tour backwards one time. That's how much juice he was on. You could have said like Ed Reed or something. I don't know. Any defensive back, really. It'd be funny if somebody did the Tour de France on like a unicycle. It'd probably take them a very long time. I know, but it'd still be a funny bit.

Be a good feat. The mountain part. Huh? It'd be a good feat. I wasn't doing a pun. I was just saying that. That's why he gets paid the big bucks. I don't know.

I don't really know what I... You made a joke out of that, and I was just saying it would be a good feat. Right. Good feat. What's the order? Today we're going to be drafting things that are simply put as cringe. Cringy things.

And cringe. Randy is going to put up ten fingers. You have ten fingers, right? Okay. He's going to put up ten fingers. We're going to guess a number between one and ten. Why is he putting up ten fingers? To signal what we're doing the number between.

Okay. Okay. He's going to let us know who gets closest. And the person that gets closest gets first pick. Or third pick. Maybe they can choose. Okay. I think the first person should choose the entire order.

I like that. Let's do that. All right. Randy, are you ready for us? I'm going to go three, two, one, and then we go. Okay? Three, two, one, shoot. Three, two, one, shoot.

Okay? Three, two, one, shoot, and then we go. All right. Yes. Three, two, one, shoot. Dylan got it. Choose everything. Two. Dylan got it. Choose everything. Ooh.

I'm going Dave first, Will second, and I'm third. Oh, cool, man. He's trying to take the temperature of the room to see if I'm going to go at him so he can go at me. He's like, I'm so confident I have the best one that I'm going to go fucking third. I have a lot of confidence that I'm going to win this draft like I always do. And I know Dave, with the number one overall pick, he has a lot of pressure. He's probably going to beef it. Okay.

Randy, because I assume we're going to probably do some kind of graphic. I will go back and I will make this more concise. Dave, I got news for you. I don't think we're going to make this into a graphic. Okay, we're probably not going to make it into a graphic. Because everything I have on my list is a long as fuck statement. That's what I was worried about. Let me learn you something real quick.

We can do a text graphic. Let me learn you something real quick. If we make a graphic out of this, not only will it look like shit, but Instagram's going to be like, nah, player, way too much text going on right now. It's going to look like shit. I'm being mean to be like, nah, player. Way too much text going on right now. I'm being mean for no reason. Yeah, you are.

You look great. Hold on. I got to add something to my draft. You look great, man. You're mad cringe right now, dog. Dylan said what? We can find a way. All right.

You want me to go first? Who's calling me? Unknown? Dave, turn your vibrate off, dude. Do a cold answer, dog. See what happens. Dude, that'd be epic. Don't do that. I do get cold calls from time to time. You're off, dude. Do a cold answer, dog. See what happens. Dude, that'd be epic. Don't do that.

I do get cold calls from time to time. You're up, bitch. With the first pick in the draft, this is tough. This is tough, and this is one that I... Ooh, I don't know which one to go. Oh. Posting a pick of yourself in a place that just had a natural disaster or terrorist attack. Did you see the Auschwitz one the other day?

No, fuck. No. There was a woman that was like sexy posing outside of Auschwitz while her husband, boyfriend was taking a picture of her. Stop throwing ass at Auschwitz. She was getting dunked on. Don't do that. How sexy are we talking?

Yeah. Do I need to look it up? She was like that on the ground. Her feet, her hands. On the ground? No, you can't. She was laying down. You can't be crawling.

More of a sit than a lay down, but she had her legs out in front of her. That's not what you should be doing. I don't even know the rules for even posting. You can post pics that you take there, but you don't even know like the rules for even post like you can post pics that you take there but you don't need to be in them you're not you're not at wrigley what the i fucking hate people yeah so posting a pic so if when for example this was big during the uh the fire in paris notre dame the cathedral famously burned. And people were like, many people, oh my God, I was just there three weeks ago.

That is quite cringe. It's a way to inject yourself into a story that has nothing to do with you. Because guess what? A lot of people visited that place because it was a tourist attraction. I'm not saying you can't be upset. I was probably upset.

I don't like seeing stuff burn down unless it's the system. Fuck yeah, dude. But other than that, you just don't have to do it. And that's why you're the number one pick in my cringe draft. Wow, congratulations. I've probably done this. My number one pick, and I have – all of these are almost like equally cringy to me

my number one pick is seeing a stand up bomb I can't watch it I can't do it it just makes me uncomfortable I only really see this happen on like YouTube because I don't really go to stand-up shows.

But when you see someone bomb or you see someone think that they're going to be good, it's just so hard to watch. Is that 20-somethings Austin? I have this on my list. Randy, do you remember 20-somethings Austin when our man hit that stand-up and just bombed? I knew that he was going to be a stand-up. I didn't get past the first episode. It was tough. It was tough.

It was not a good watch. Is it tough for you to come in here every day and do this podcast with dylan dude i'll extend this beyond just stand-up comic just anyone who's giving a speech a presentation if they're bombing the second hand embarrassment i get is dylan chose someone bombing a speech what's your second pick no i don't know that's not i don't know if you would any presenter If you were to... Any presenter, anyone speaking publicly... Yeah. Could be a musician. I bury my head and I just wait for it to be over.

I can't make eye contact with them or anyone else. I just... It's tough. I don't know if I've ever been in the presence of a comedian who's bombed. I really don't think I have. There is a wormhole you can go down. Why don't you do that to yourself? Because some people, you know, there's a market for people watching pimples get popped.

Yeah. You can watch comedians fail. Nothing wrong with the pimple popping community. I mean, it's not my thing. That used to be me. I wasn't obsessed with it, but when it randomly is on my algo these days i'm like okay i'll do one you get a big system hello someone's back people can change oh when they start hammering in both sides you have my attention yeah it's good okay dylan what's your you get to pick dude

third pick with my third pick well my first pick the third pick overall in the draft, is the fist bump handshake mix-up. That's good. Oh, that's a great one. Ooh. Ooh. And some – like you go handshake, they go fist bump, and then you're like, oh, you both try to correct, so then you're opposite again. And then it takes you like a few tries to actually figure it out.

And then you're like – you got to call it out. Like, man, that was tough. Did you see Brooks Koepka, what he did at the Masters? No. He hit someone with the snail, and then he jellyfished away from it. And people loved it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. OK.

So Dave, hit me with you want to pound. Hey, what's up? I want to pound you. Snail. No. Oh. Jellyfish away. I have to look this up.

Did he pull it off like in a smooth way? I regret to inform the timeline that he did. Man. Well done. The fist bump handshake mix up is a tough one. That is why you have to commit. And if you're going to do any kind of handshake or slap and dap,ap you got to show it early you got to show it like three steps out you got to i do it at the gym if you're a listener or if you're a friend of mine

i'm probably fist bumping you at the gym the gym is a hand handshake free environment i think it's it's all might have violated that rule yesterday but But yeah, it should be. That's smart. There's nothing wrong with walking in four steps early with his fist out. I have been, ever since the pandemic, I'm much more of a fist bump guy. If I've done this with someone, I always remember it. That it's always going to be between us. I call it out immediately. Like, man, what do you say? Like, that was tough yeah

it's always because i go with the pound and they're going in for the handshake makes me feel like i'm a child what's your other pick don't break this one uh this one is in my opinion equally as cringy It also involves you and another person. When you're crossing them in a hallway and you both go on the same side to pass, and then you're like, oh, I'm sorry, and then you go back on the other same side to pass, you do that little dance for about five to seven seconds,

and it's the worst five to seven seconds of the month. You just want to die. Okay. It is so cringe, so uncomfortable. I just want to you want to die okay it is so cringe so uncomfortable i just want to like i hope i never see you again it's someone you work with you know you're going to see him over and over again it's tough man that your day's done i yell terry tate and then i fake truck stick them also a similar similar uh the cousin to this one is when someone you know you're in a you start at the end of a long hallway and you start walking toward each other the lodge and it's like where do you look

the lodge like do i just stare at you the whole time do i look down yeah it's obviously not one of my picks but they're you picked it you already picked it they're relatives no you picked it i've already won the draft y'all go ahead and pick up the pieces, but it's done. My second pick is one that, it's a late addition to the board. I'm not going to lie. There's a lot of cringe things on my board,

but I was like, you know what? This one is actually one of my worst nightmares and something that I've experienced several times. And it's when you can't remember someone's name and they clearly start to realize that you have no fucking clue who they are oh yeah oh oh yeah that's a tough scene oh yeah no i remember you for oh yeah yeah oh dude for sure for sure sorry i'm bad with this you're hoping someone walks up so you can like introduce

them and hopefully they just like say their name like hey have you guys met that's how you had to do it you can't like oh this is you say hey have you guys met it's like oh i'm carl i i will hope that like sally's with me so i'm like if i'm like a wedding or something i'll be like this is my wife sally and then she'll like extend forward is the ultimate and then you just really hope that they say oh i am blah blah blah dude as good i as good i as i am at recognizing someone's face, I'm so bad with names, man. So bad. What's up, Davey? Hello.

You got two picks, bitch. Hello. Moving like snakes. Snake draft. Well, I cannot believe this is still there. I genuinely thought this would go off the board quick. This is a great value pick for the second round. I'm going to go with making eye contact with me while you sing a song. You don't have to be a professional performer, mainly like if you're someone who's just vibing to a song. If you're singing it and you make eye contact with me you're making me really

uncomfortable i don't like that if i start if i bust out like zombie by the cranberries do you intentionally look away from me when i'm singing when i'm hitting those notes uh kind of just because i want to like do whatever i can do to just put myself mentally in another place. I'm going to, I'm going to take yours, Dave, and I'm going to cross off one of mine, but I would like to put mine out there because I think it's related enough that I can't, I can't choose it at this point. Guitar guy? But it's just small setting live music. This could be anything from like someone performing a song to someone busting out a guitar it's i just fucking hate it or a flute busting out a guitar by a fire don't like just don't put me in this

situation like hit me over the head with that you're not you're not gonna be super super good and if and it's just gonna make me feel uncomfortable you gotta be really good you better be chris stapleton not not you're not saying you have to have the best vocals in the game we had a guy in high school who was actually good. He actually could bust out a guitar and play some songs. And when he did, you could see all the girls in the room start to gravitate towards him. And it was just like, you saw all the dudes also just looking around like, fuck. Dude, the babes love him.

How are we going to get through this shit right now? The babes love him. The guys want to beat his ass. Yeah. It's a war out there. Yeah. I just, I just, there's's something about there's something about just being out and i'm not the i don't want to be the fun police but if you're going to be vibing out

singing a song don't look me in the eyes as you do it it's just it's too much i get another pick don't i you do that's how snake drafts work um this is a this is a twitter cringe Make dress work. This is a Twitter cringe. This is something that has been played out quite a bit. I see it from time to time. But when I see it, I'm like, we're not doing that anymore. It's when you tweet out, if you learn a fun fact and you tweet out um i was today years old when i learned uh that kat williams was hilarious no i don't know about that it's bad it's bad when i see

that i'm like all right i don't it shouldn't bother me what's worse that or that's it that's the tweet exactly that i was gonna yeah that's it that's the i've muted that's it. That's the tweet. That's exactly what I was going to say. Yeah. That's it. That's the tweet. I've muted that's it. That's the tweet because I cannot see it on my timeline. I saw a major brand do it the other day. I forgot which one it was. God, have I ever done it? I really hope you have.

If you have, Dave, you have to retweet yourself right now. You have to retweet yourself. I bet I've done that's the tweet. Please just do it. Please. Oh. Oh, our buddy buddy harbs he did it no that's not good don't do harbs like that sorry harbs you responded to a tweet in june of 2021 before i think i even knew you damn harvester c is fuck for d-man i've used it sarcastically a couple times that's good that's sarcastic use of that's it that's i

responded to you one time that's it that's the tweet what was my tweet dude was my tweet him uh him uh it was a screenshot of a message that i sent you i said dude i kind of feel bad for carl he seemed like a decent dude i think um you screenshot or you i'm sorry photoshop this i don't remember the contacts man i don't know what they're talking about i don't know either yeah yep all right with my next pick what dave sorry i was lost but now i'm found okay that's good that's good um i have several i want to do. Okay. I'm going to do when somebody... I'm between two similar ones, both of which make me feel the exact same way. I'm going to say when somebody is blatantly wrong about a fact and everyone knows it

and the person refuses to give up. They double down on being incorrect. And you put everyone in the position of being like are we going to escalate this situation by being awkward and telling them that they're completely incorrect here do you know what i'm talking about is this yeah yeah uh like when uncle ted at christmas like hit you with some fake news and you're like uh do i tell him that's fake news it's just it... It's like that. It's like, just stop. Like, stop. Like, one time Sally said to someone that, like,

she was taught that Texas could fly their flag higher than the American flag everywhere, and they're the only state that could do that. And the person that told her no clearly knew what they were talking about, and it was like, oh, God. Uh-oh. Oh, God, please don't double down.

It's an awkward spot because it's your wife. If it's your wife, you gotta, like, you gotta you gotta give her like the pat like hey yeah i don't think i did in that situation subtle like i think i was in the back seat going like expose her let's shut her let's shut it down it's as high correct yeah but not higher but everyone could do it that's high i think yeah i don't know there's no special treatment they're gonna send the feds in yeah yeah to the flagpole yeah book them yeah where'ss in? Yeah. Yeah, do the flag police show up? Hey, I love the flag. Yeah, book them. Where's the flag?

Where is it? I'm the flagpole sitter. I have two. Harvey Danger. I have two picks left. Okay. And I'm a little upset because I could do about seven more. I have a million picks left.

We can do our honorable mentions. Yeah, we're going to do our overflow. Okay. Here's one. And this is a self-cringe. Make yourself cringe a little bit. Catching the curb with your back tire when taking a right turn too sharply. Oh, yeah.

This absolutely floors me. I want to redo it. Because people at the intersection, they see you do it. Like, this guy must be a shit driver. How often do you clip the one getting a Mopac by our place? That one is really, that one sticks out there. I did it. I have absolutely clipped it.

The turn on Lamar at the stop sign right outside our office, I did it for the first time going right in. I've never done that. It shook me because I didn't even know it was in play. It's so embarrassing. And it like, you just floor it. It jolts you. You don't have to see the piece. It's me because I didn't even know it was in play. It's so embarrassing. You just floor it. It jolts you. You don't have to see the pieces.

You go up and then you come down. It's like, oh, fuck me. Especially if you're making a right and you're trying to do it quickly because there's traffic coming your way and you know they all just saw you. Yeah. Everyone sees you. And everyone's been there. We've all done it, but it's still embarrassing. We've all been there.

It's still embarrassing as fuck. Hashtag relatable. I'll eventually roast someone when they do it. I'll be like, what an idiot. What an idiot. And done it, but it's still embarrassing. We've all been there. It's still embarrassing as fuck. Hashtag relatable. I mentally roast someone when they do it. I'm like, what an idiot. What an idiot. And then you'll do it two days later? Yeah. You're just like, all right, well, I guess I'm done.

I'm going to just go drive off a cliff. I hate it when I know that Sally's going to do it because she doesn't see something. In Austin, it's such a bike-friendly place that they have all these little fucking bullshit everywhere. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Every bike path, there's something annoying in the road that you can drive over and fuck up your hubcap we went to the uh austin fc game and sally was dropping us off remember she did a very rogue

u-turn or something did she hit something probably yeah there's probably a you know family out there still mourning right now it was awkward because we were all in the car and nobody wanted to say anything. We were just like – She knew she – well, somebody directed her to go one extra exit or one extra thing, and it was incorrect. And so she was trying to really recoup some time there. Might have caused some strays in the meantime. The rest of the drive, I think about it too. Give us your final pick, dog.

Oh, man. Can I give you one that is – I'll wait. I have a car one also while we're on the car thing. You have a clip in the curb adjacent one? Yeah. When you – this doesn't really happen to me because I don't text and drive. But when there's a – a light turns green and someone is like looking down at their phone texting and they don't realize it. And they panic and they just gun it.

And they're just like, I got to get the fuck out of here. It's so embarrassing for that person. Thank you. Oh, man. I have three that are, in my opinion, are Hall of Fame ones that I could pick from right now. This is really tough. Okay. I'm going to go with one that hasn't happened in a while as i am an adult

and don't really watch movies with my parents anymore you fuck but when watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene starts i did tell dylan this when i first pitched the uh cringe draft this is the example that i used i wanted to i want to put that out there why you stole his shit this is on this should be on everybody's list, though. I know. As should Dylan's, Dylan Will's content. No. Yeah, when your boy fucking plagiarizes your ass.

I won this draft, guys. I'm sorry. It's done. Vince Carter. What was it again? Watching a sex scene with your parents. A surprise sex scene with your parents. Okay.

So now like you're watching somebody get stuck in a dryer and you know what's about to go down. You're like 13. I remember watching the NYPD Blue episode where they showed the guy's butt. The butt, yeah. And I was like, oh, oh my God, it's a butt. It's a man's butt.

It was just a gross butt. I watched Knocked Up with my parents when I was like 19. Oh, that's tough. Why? Because my parents when i was like 19 oh that's tough why because my parents enjoy funny movies and it's a funny movie and like but like then when seth rogan's hitting katherine heigl from the back it was like yeah maybe we shouldn't have done this on christmas eve let's turn this off yeah yeah i watched the jackass movie with my dad one of the the one that has the um that's tradition the wee man sketch you have to watch it with your dad where he's at the bar and then like the guy the other little person comes in dude i told you

that's one of that's the hardest i've ever left so hard i'm not kidding when i say it's the hardest i've ever seen my dad laugh but there's also as you might be familiar with there's also like i don't know steve-o like tying a bottle rocket to his wiener. Yeah. Or like a toy helicopter tied to his wiener. I mean, it's just, it's jackass. And you're just like, oh God. The paramedics come in and they're also little people. The police. Yeah.

EMS. The people at the bar are just like. The first time you see that, it is one of the funnier things. My final pick i'm going to go with liking someone's photo within 10 seconds of them posting it and being the first person and just hanging yourself out there to dry like not realizing it yeah yeah you realize it after you've liked it oh fuck oh this was posted like 30 seconds oh i'm a creep yeah i feel like a loser it's just you just feel like like man i i just looks too online right now you look too thirsty yeah okay dave oh man

got a lot and i'll mention these in honorable mention but the one that i will choose for my fourth and final pick, when you're playing golf with someone you don't know very well, and they are just going through it, like can't get off a tee box, and they get back in the cart and it's silent. And you're just like, oh boy. And then you're kind of the rest of the time when they hit like an average shot or like,

you know, put the ball forward. You're just like, nice man. Good recovery. Fuck. I shouldn't have said anything. It's almost like any, any amateur golfer going through it. It's hard to watch. It's bad. Cause it's like, fuck dude. Like dude like don't know don't take it so seriously dog it's like oh you

just lost four dollars on that golf ball at pro v yep or no no it could the worst worst when it's your buddy and he's playing really well and then he gets to like he blows 14 and it's like oh here it is. They thought they had something. They thought they caught lightning in a bottle that day. This personal best round and then it just all falls apart. On one hole, you just watch this person collapse

and you're just like, you're not going to recover from this. No. That's it. Start drinking. Can we go through some of our extras? Yeah, I have some good ones left. Let's go.

Let's do a rapid fire round table with some extras. Here's one. When the group I'm a part of is standing in the way of other people in a public place. Dude, awful. Oh, Matt's at Rancho. Bartlett's Bar. Bartlett's Bar, when you're ordering a drink right there and everyone – like people are trying to get in.

Oh, it's terrible. You're standing by the host stand with like seven people and you're like, guys, can we just move the whole group over like that way because we are right in everyone's way. Situational awareness on 100,000. Sp thousand spatial awareness is what i call it yeah that's how rancho on a friday night when we're all up there with the kids and stuff we've had that issue yeah i just have i just have elon musk uh sense of humor like just what what he's doing and like the the the people that are like feeding into it and like it's just too it's, it takes meme nerdiness to a level that I can't look at anymore. I just can't do it.

Extreme. He's got exclusive memes though, posted to a subscriber. That's true. Like once he did the doge thing, it was like, ah, you just,

you're not, you don't get it. You need to be a total dork to subscribe to him on Twitter. Just next level dork status. Uh, I've got one graffiti with grammatical errors. Oh, hate that.

Have I told you guys about the new graffiti in my place? Is it toasty? You showed us a picture. Yeah. So the lady who has been feeding the geese and being kind of a mean word to me and my family and everybody else that lives near us, somebody has spray painted the word come on a electrical box outside of her place. And now she has to look at that all the time.

It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was Dave. He put his hand up. Got me. But it makes me happy that now she has to look at that all the time. Not me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was Dave. He put his hand up. Got me. But it makes me happy that she now gets to look at the word come at all times. When people who are probably a little bit socially awkward, their nervous tick is to laugh after everything they say,

even if the thing they say isn't funny or like intended to be funny. They just like, they say something like, and it's like, why are you laughing? I feel like you're thinking about someone very in particular right now. No, this is a very common thing that people do. People do it when they're nervous.

Yeah, they like laugh at themselves and it's like, what you just said isn't funny. Uber drivers do it because like, you don't know them well

and they're trying to like feel dead air. They're just like laughing after like, yeah, I'm gonna get you there in about 15 minutes. The bridge, when you take Lam about 15 minutes. The bridge. When you take Lamar into downtown, the bridge you go under, there's a ton of graffiti.

I just got to say, I saw this literally yesterday. And it said, like, who's, who is your, it says, who's your owner? You know, like, oh, think about the corporations owning you. But they did who apostrophe s and look that's proper oh fuck i fucked it up yeah well now and now they've got they did the other now they've got their message now they've gotten their message shouted from the rooftops of a podcast yeah i wonder how long it's been there what about when you say you too to a service worker who isn't about to have the same experience as you yes that's it that's a good one oh my hey enjoy the enjoy uh splash mountain you too

you're not about to enjoy splash mountain yeah maybe later but you're you're on we're on the clock we're numb to this at this point because we host a podcast but hearing your recorded voice yeah i got over that when i became a podcaster i got just podcast on my yeah just podcast in general really uh when you issue a joke on. I got just podcasts on mine. Yeah, just podcasts in general. Really? When you issue a joke on your podcast or like an anecdote that's supposed to be humorous and you get it backward and you're like, I'm a fucking idiot. Just like what happened to me. It's okay, Dave.

It's not okay. I'm going to be thinking about that like in 10 years. What's the noise you make? Catching someone in the wild taking a selfie. Yeah, that's uncomfortable. It's become more normalized now because it's so common, but it still makes me cringe. What about random eye contact? If you look away quick enough, it's fine.

Oh, while they're doing the selfie? My friend and I, we were standing in an ice cream store. She's with her husband. I'm with Sally. And we're kind of all just looking around. There's stuff everywhere. We're looking around. And there's this little strip of mirror that lines the wall.

Little tiny strip of mirror. It couldn't be more than six inches tall. And somehow, she and I, at the same time, meet eyes. And it shook us to our core. We both were like, oh, no. Got to get out of here. I don't like that. I don't like that at all.

Instagram caption. Take me back. Take me back. Take me back. I'm going to go back on a vacation. Chicago, I'm inside you. I'm inside you. I'm inside you.

That one's been taken ironically for Twitter. But if I see that on Instagram, I read it completely differently. Yeah. This one is very specific to me, but it's one of my least favorite things ever. When you sit on a couch next to the remote control and the weight of you on the cushion makes the remote control slide down into the crease between your leg and the cushion it make it drives me up the wall whenever i sit down i make sure everything is is so far enough away from me that i can sit freely without the stuff sliding down into me it kills me it's weird what about when old people over over talk to you about what you share on social media. Is this specific to us?

I feel like old people are always like, oh, I saw it on Facebook that you were doing this. Oh, I saw your Instagram. And I'm like, yeah. It's the person you're talking to. Yeah, young people just, they know that this happens, but we don't talk about it directly. Like, oh, you've been traveling a lot lately.

Oh, yeah, I saw you were somewhere. Whoever you're talking to, your grandmother has a very grandmother voice. I don't have a grandmother. My secret to staying alive is your Facebook updates. Oh, no, I'm keeping you alive just by updating you? This keeps me going. Oh, it took. Let me update.

Chatting my nipple brandy every night. I feel like most people, most guys have a group text they've got multiple group texts but there's always one that's like full of people who aren't online at all whereas like we're very online so this is probably specific to us but when somebody posts like a like a really shitty and like poorly done meme from that they clearly got from facebook looks like something your dad would send you and you're're just like, I'm not giving you any ha-ha's on that. First of all, it's not funny. That is a very bad meme.

Yeah. Don't put that in here. Yeah. Non-online people trying to be online. And I know this is very special to us. But non-online people trying to be online, it's like, yeah, you're just flailing right now. We have a unique perspective of social media.

Lip-seeking TikToks. Yeah. Oh yeah how did that not go in the draft that's that might because i number one i think it's cringy but i think it's been normalized for me at this point a little bit uh a couple sharing a social media account i think that's good uh simpy comments on an attractive girl's instagram post unless it's big content guy and chewing with your mouth open yeah you hate that they hate this don't just listen things he hates um i crushed this on the tick tock front clearly clearly staged scenarios that aren't funny where it's like yeah oh my god my husband caught me dancing and then he started dancing too yeah that's not funny tiktok they're the reason tiktok has to go away mainly because of couples there was one the other day that was so clearly staged that there were there were two different uh issues with the tiktok about this guy leaving his wife she was like he's gonna leave me

like and there were two different parts where i was like that can't make sense because like if like, if you're calling him your husband, but you're not married yet, whatever. And it was just like, yeah, you just straight up made this up for clout. And everyone knows it. On that note, Jim, TikTok's Jim Reels, where it's like clearly staged, like swole dudes. Like, it's like, this didn't, this isn't how this went down at all. The worst. Yeah. I don't have any more.

Jim content's not funny.'ll just say unless it's dom mazetti i haven't seen his stuff dom jim jim content oh that's good uh people people who like seriously respond to like somebody posts like a putting fingers ad like oh look at this trump campaign they post their this this ad that the trump PAC is putting out there, and it's pudding fingers or meatball Ron. Pudding fingers. Someone who's really, really like some – somebody on Twitter, very online, that really, really hates Trump just responds like, oh, okay, Donald Drumpf or something. It's very crass. Or they call him the orange man unironically.

Like, dude, that ain't gonna do anything that only makes him stronger and i'm done he's angry i'm pissed this is becoming airing an airing of grievances it really has and i apologize i get sent a lot of things online we all do we all have our niches dylan gets physically sent mugs a lot one of my niches for a while was doing wedding announcements i stay away from these largely these days i don't like to do them all the time i don't Dylan gets physically sent mugs a lot. One of my niches for a while was doing wedding announcements. I stay away from these largely these days. I don't like to do them all the time. I don't like to talk about them.

It makes me uncomfortable now. I kind of feel bad for maybe ruining some people's wedding days back in the day. Which one of your niches is getting married? They're too young for that. And so I have been sent one, though. And I think it deserves our time. Okay? You guys follow the New York Times?

The failing New York Times? Familiar with this publication? Familiar, yeah. You gifted me a sub. They post the most cringe wedding announcements ever. And today I was sent one, or I guess last night I was sent one, about a kitten lady. You guys familiar with the kitten lady?

You should be. She's got 1.2 million followers online. The kitten yeah she builds kittens you guys cat people you like cats i know you have kittens i'll fuck with the cat i don't i've never owned one i i don't hate them though the only cats i like a cool cat what's her what's her at i don't know it's like kitten x lady or something like that oh gotta be careful yeah it's weird and so uh like i just am not a cat person and so like what she ended up doing was she married a cat photographer so we did what's actually good for us non-cat people and we married off two cat people that like can't you know infiltrate the rest of us they're gonna procreate they could procreate

you think they do like cat splay is that a good pun randy furry stuff sorry i don't know you know furries do come on get out of here i found her well their wedding had a lot of cat stuff going on there's a petting zoo there's all this stuff a cat pet what if i just read a couple paragraphs from this both live an alcohol-free vegan animal-friendly lifestyle so when it came to plan a wedding those values became guiding philosophies for the event. That's just beautiful. I'm not going to this wedding if I'm invited. They chose a friend's animal sanctuary as a setting

because it's a place where animals get to live their best lives. Oh, wait. That's on the draft. I think it's a significant space, she said, because it's about how amazing it is when you give someone the promise of sanctuary. Shouldn't a relationship be like that? Miss Shaw and Mr. Martilla, or whatever you say, were wed April 2nd at Farm Animal Refuge in Campo, California. Their friend and veterinarian, Dr. Rachel Wallach, was ordained for the occasion by the American Marriage Ministries, officiated an internationally

renowned harpist. Mary Lattimore played a version of the cures friday i'm in love during the processional did you guys have a harpist that played the cure because if you didn't you're on your fucking broke boy grind that's why we had one well after 100 guests enjoyed a mocktail bar and all vegan meal of crispy squash blossoms braised tempeh beet chicharron and saffron cavatelli guests were then invited to take their edible vegetable basket centerpieces of zucchini tomatoes and kale and feed them to the farm animals you show up to this wedding thinking you're about to let it rip to like mr jones by the counting crows or you know some van morrison johns no one's thought about and yeah no we all think about it.

And then you have to go take your edible arrangement of zucchini, tomatoes, and kale, and you feed them to the farm animals. Are you a little just like, man, this stinks? I'm hoping the guests knew what they were getting themselves into as they attended a wedding by the cat lady and the cat photographer. Cat photographer. Is that what's on his LinkedIn?

She fell in love with him because of a cat photo you're gonna have to absolutely drag me to this wedding i have never been to a wedding that i am shocked when i show up that something is the way that it is i gotta i got a pocket full of beef jerky too i can't eat whatever this stuff is like have you have you ever it's not a pocket full of beef jerky you're happy to see me have you shown up to a wedding where you realize that it's like a cash bar, like no bar at all? I've never done that before. I've had friends that have done it and complained about it, but it's not – I feel like I always have a pretty good idea of what to expect. I've been to a dry – have you been to a dry wedding?

No. I've been to a dry wedding, and it's been long enough. I don't keep in touch with these people anymore. It was pretty awful. I had some friends that got caught drinking in the parking lot of a dry wedding. It was just boring. Then they were just looked at by everyone for the rest of the time because they got seen mixing drinks. Yeah.

Why is that a problem? If you don't want to have a wedding in the venue, that's fine. If someone in the wedding or close to the wedding has an alcohol problem and doesn't want to experience that or do something, that's fine. But if you're just like... Don't try to control the whole environment. Yeah. If you're just like... I don't know.

Unless they're... Allow them to drink. Allow people to do what they want. Don't get mad if people are trying to have a drink in the parking lot. Yeah. I'm taking mushrooms. Deal with it. You deal with these dilated pupils.

Yeah. Okay? Yeah. I went to one like right after college uh and i should have known and there's a guy i went to high school with and it was me and like four there was only like three of us who got invited we all went and it was they went to the couple went to a&m it's fine so but it was a big A&M wedding and they all knew, everybody else knew each other and we didn't know anybody and it was dry and we were just like

having to like meet people without just talking. And it was just like, damn, this, we're not good at this. We're, first of all,

we're morons. We're 22, 23 year old men. You don't know how to interact sober with people at that age like you're not no you're not supposed to just ignore everyone it was you go places just for the open bar like that's how you operate when you're 23 but nobody likes like if that's your regular lifestyle i'm sure like you've adapted and you can uh you know i think we went to hooters

right before it was during the day we went to hooters before and had a couple beers it was it was bad oh time this weekend and fun presented by our friends over at early bird early bird gummies if you're not familiar are a recreational hemp product that contain two and a half milligrams of thc and around 12 and a half milligrams of cbd in each gummy these things are formulated for fun and to make you feel good we take them for all different purposes. Some people take them before they host game shows. Other people take them while they're watching reality television in their domicile. Or if they just want to mellow out before bed and have a fantastic night's sleep.

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getting into this weekend? Ooh, thanks for asking. I believe we've got a little dinner in the works for Friday night, which I'm pretty excited about. Might have a really big, heavy, dry glass of red wine with my dinner.

You guys might even be... You want a Big Heavies? Yeah, Big Heavies is what I call them. Can guys might even be on a big heavies. Yeah. Big heavies is what I call them. Can't wait for that. That'll be fun. Parks has a soccer game on Saturday. Open to pick up that first dub. Okay.

I wish I didn't know the losing streak. That's happening. Just say they don't keep score. He's having fun though, man. That's what matters. And that's really all I have just say they don't keep score. He's having fun, though, man. That's what matters. And that's really all I have. That's really all I have. Dave?

Playing golf Friday afternoon. Parlaying that into a carve. Carve. West Austin's hottest steakhouse. With these guys. What are you going to get? Ooh, I might go ribeye. Ooh, Davey.

Might go off. Then whatever happens after that, that's what happens. And then Saturday, I'll probably be resting and probably watching my son since I pretty much was gone all Friday and Friday night. And Alyssa, she'll probably go get like a mani-pedi or something. Maybe she'll go out with the gals. Who knows?

But I'll be on dad duty heavy. I'll be on job on Saturday. And then Sunday, Sunday morning, 9 a.m., we're doing the soccer class it's is he is he like a natural just player at this point um i will say he he grasps the concept of kicking the ball forward more he's one of the better ones in the class but i think that's only because there's a lot of very little kids in the class most importantly though he participates and he has yet to have like the meltdown day where he just like cries and doesn't want to play i feel like you need that that's like you're right it's happening i saw some of his tape uh his the ball is absolutely glued to his foot

so he's got the skills man yeah thank you yeah i mean he's we've been working on it in the backyard quite a bit okay other than that than that, got some Stars hockey. Trying to get one back tonight. You know how I get during these playoffs, man. Crazy. How do you get, oh, you better look out, Buster. I'm a loose cannon. Right.

It's not good at all. Said a wise man. Will. Weather dependent. Might be playing man. Will. Weather dependent. Might be playing golf on Friday. Weather dependent. Fuck. What's even worse is that it's not even weather dependent on Friday.

It's weather dependent on Thursday. So if Thursday has bad weather, then it's going to – it's not the ideal situation. And so I'm absolutely out here. I will be drinking one single martini at Carve American Grill before I will be pouring several glasses of wine and Ubering home to my domicile. That's fucking wild. Where I'll probably put on a record and have my wife yell at me for being too loud when I come home.

Sounds like a night. Saturday. It's really weekend of Fritz. It's his birthday tomorrow. So I mean, we're just going to be treating him like an absolute king all freaking weekend. Yes, he is. I'm not really sure what's going to go on, though. That's the thing.

You got to burn one. You got to burn one for him. Dude, you got to fucking blaze a spliff for your son's second birthday. You know what I mean? I'm actually going to Conj tomorrow night. It's one of those situations where Sally made a million open table reservations months ago, and this one fell into our lap. So I'm going to congee tomorrow night.

And then, yeah, I'm not really sure. Not really sure what my plan is. You're doing carb and congee on back-to-back nights. I'm having a stacked weekend of meat. You know your boy's going to be backed up. That place is so good. Plus, you're hanging out with Dylan Friday night, and you know he's got a pocket full of beef jerky.

Yeah. It's true. It's true. I don't know why you do. It's interesting. I came from a vegan wedding. Oh, wedding oh okay okay this dude just needs his protein yeah dude like i don't yeah i knew it was gonna be vegan here so i brought my fucking beef jerky is that how it goes yeah that's how i sound i'll do that i don't have too much going on

uh i think i'm supposed to go out to dinner on Saturday, but it's one of those things where Sally told me about it like a month ago. And then I was like, Oh cool. Sounds good. Yeah. And then I don't, I don't remember what's actually going on. Yeah. I'm wondering if I've got one. Actually, no, Dave, you know, I, I think, I think all of us have been invited to something that I'm just now remembering is the thing that I'm not remembering. Oh, we're going to name him twice.

Mickey Weans. Oh my gosh. You can go see Mickey Weans on Saturday. remembering is the thing that i'm not remembering oh we're gonna name him twice mickey weans that's saturday oh my gosh you can go see mickey weans on saturday yep i can't wait for that can't wait to lumber in there feeling like shit after going to carve and eating meat i might get into one while i'm there bitch watch me okay yeah i mean i'll be there he's got two grills you guys know that mickey weans can do anything got two grills two girls at his crib. Very swag. Is he cooking? I don't know. Truly hard to say. Maybe we'll get a pot off.

I'm going to guess we're not going to get a pot off on Saturday at Mike's house. Great to see you. Yeah. All right, guys. It's been a fun week. Tomorrow, 888-618-4422. Listener voicemails. Get them in.

No coffee Friday this week. Okay. That's okay. I've had too much coffee recently. Same. I'm about to pee myself. Can we just go ahead and end this? Bye-bye. week. Okay. That's okay. I've had too much coffee recently. Same. I'm about to pee myself. Can we just go ahead and end this? Bye-bye. Bye.

Bye.