Circling Back - The Dad Zeitgeist & Illicit Bowling Affairs

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

Well well well — if it ain't another Podcast Week. To celebrate, we discussed the wedding weekend that was, a truly disgusting story from Austin's famous Dirty 6th Street, a collegiate bowling scandal, breaking down a New York Times article about things dads love these days, and more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:30) Recapping This Wedding Weekend in Fun (27:40) The Dirtiest Dirty 6th Girl Ever (38:20) Collegiate Bowling Affair (49:00) NYT’s Pillars of Dads (1:10:00) Zuck vs. Elon Cage Fight in Vegas Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) ROW by Academy: Head to a store or at www.academy.com/row  Squarespace: www.squarespace.com/steam (STEAM for 10% off your purchase of a website or domain) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from Austin, Texas. My name is Will DeFries. To my left, David, the idol, Raph. You know, I haven't watched the show. I only have secondhand knowledge about what's going on in there. I just don't know if I'm comfortable with that being a nickname at this point. Okay. I don't really know who the idol is in this show. I'm not sure either yet. Okay.

Once the idol reveals him or herself or itself, then we'll talk. Hey, I don't mean to start this week off on a horny note. Oh. But I feel like I would be remiss. It's every week. And I would be doing everyone a great disservice, including you, if I didn't ask the question, how many times per day, not counting night boners,

does the normal man, how many boners, do men become... Does the normal man... How many boners a day? Is it like eight or something? I thought statistically it was eight. This has a purpose. Why are you thinking of this? Just, again, it has a purpose. Because boners happen.

Are you talking about... Read the t-shirt. No reason boners or... No, no, no. It shouldn't matter. How many times a day? Yeah, the average man. My guess is eight.

Not you. You're above average. Your age really affects this significantly, actually. Yeah, I'm not looking for the science. I'm just asking. I'm going to say two to three. I mean, I'm 39. Are you okay?

I'm 39. If I was 19, I would say like 45. The average man has 11 a day and more when they're asleep. Of course, but we're not counting those. So recently it got brought up in a, without doxing anybody, a group text. This question. And I said, I think double digits is in play. Not saying that I'm a double-digit guy. I don't have high T. I probably have average T at this question. And I said, I think double digits is in play. Not saying that I'm a double-digit guy.

I don't have high T. I probably have average T at this point. But I thought it might be in play. I got my doors blown off in this group text. I'm still getting roasted. It's just, I thought that that seemed like a reasonable take. I need to know what big erection qual need to know what uh you know big erection

qualifies as a boner you know are they saying your number was too high yeah well like yeah because like if you're getting 11 a day i'm not saying you got to be fully rocked up like you might just need a little you know i might want to be down with the thickness for a little bit and that qualifies you know what i mean so like it's hard to say yeah quite a start to the week like remember when beaver's penis was on the internet yeah that was some post coitus yeah like but does that count that if you were just like that would that count dylan shivery ladies and gentlemen i mean i don't think so i mean but it was in theory... Oh, whatever. How did that picture just go away?

It's Bieber, dude. You can't find it? I don't know. You can't just post another man's dick on the internet. I don't know. He's that famous and not have it taken off the internet. He was like the most famous dude in the world at that time. One of them. I always thought, I mean, conventional wisdom is if it hits the internet, it's permanently on there.

But apparently it's not the case. No, people get news articles taken down about them all the time when they get in trouble or some stuff like if you uh if like you pooped your pants on a road trip and you wrote about it yeah yeah i'm not ashamed of that article that's well it's good already yeah it's fine is that the one that you got published in time no no i should submit it and see if they but hey i'm the guy who wrote the other piece like eight years ago if If you want to put this one on there too. I already have an author page on there. You can check it out.

Hey, where can we find your link tree? I don't have a link tree yet. Why not? I'm not entirely sure what a link tree is. I'm being honest with you. Yeah, I say smoke trees. Don't link them. Hell yeah.

You always say that. Anyone in this room have a Wall Street Journal subscription? No. Okay. WSJ? No. Okay. WSJ? Yeah. I used to. Because I got an article I want to read on there, but I don't have a subscription right now.

And so if you guys have one, can you print me a PDF of this article about cottage cheese? Damn. Extreme old guy take. The amount of stuff that is now paywall, written paywall, is alarming. It's affecting show prep for for every podcast i well new york times you can just open it in incognito window most of the time and you're good wall street journal locks it down and i i just i need to know what gen z is saying about cottage cheese and it's just pissing me off that i can't find out we don't know if they're in on it or out no they're in on it for sure. It's a great source of protein.

Yeah, yeah. I'm a big fan of cottage cheese. I flip-flop between small curd and large curd, but overall, I do stand most cottage cheeses. Little curd over here. Little curd on the track. I've never gotten behind cottage cheese because it looks like someone ate regular cheese

and then vomited up into a bowl. Dude, cottage cheese is so is so good, dude. It's actually a shame you don't like cottage cheese. I feel like it would fit very well into your diet. I probably would like it. I just haven't tried it, I don't think ever because it looks so off-putting to me. No, and it's a great, if you're looking for a protein source before you go to sleep, it digests slowly, I think. Oh, does it? Yeah, so it's just kind of like uh i know you're always looking to up your protein don't you set an alarm for like 3 a.m so you can yeah eat throughout the night clearly look at how don't talk to me until i've had my cottage cheese get the gains up look how big my arms have gotten you're crazy it's embarrassing how big your arms

have gotten i know i'm embarrassed you got to know you're worth the king yeah do you think it's like a cabin cheese i was just pointing out i got a new hat it's dope we're still talking cheeses everyone's yeah we're talking cottage cheese right now the cottage cheese conversation has run its course i don't know what the hell will's got questions dude the things you can do to cottage cheese is crazy so you have to like go to a cottage to purchase it where do you find it you're telling me a cottage my dad does something wild with it my dad it's made out of cottages, dude. It's made out of cottages? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I thought it was, okay. My dad will drizzle a little Catalina dressing up on there. Don't know what that is, but that sounds like something a defreeze would do. Oh, my God. It's so good. This is a sore subject in my household because I don't care for Catalina dressing. Really? I don't know.

Really? Dude, the freaking Catalina wine mixer. Oh, so sick. Dude, we're Catalina wine mixer. Oh, so sick. Dude, we're doing stepbrothers. Cool, man. I don't know what that dressing is. What does it look like? It's like...

Does it taste red? I mean, it's... Yeah. Describing it to you might be difficult. It's red. Is there a flavor profile? I couldn't tell you what it tastes like. I couldn't describe to you the taste other than it tastes like Catalina dressing.

Is it almost like... You're not selling it almost like ketchup plus? No, that's just doing it as a dessert. It's almost like ketchup with sweet and sour sauce. It's almost more sweet and sour saucy in terms of composition. Yeah. Compy, as some say. I should like it, but for some reason, I don't.

But Dylan, in case you're wondering, it's a mixture of olive oil red wine vinegar ketchup sugar and seasoning damn i don't even like ketchup that much but like now that i know that it's in catalina dressing i might need to start you know eyeing up ketchup a little bit more that doesn't sound dank to be honest yo it's fucking dang i'll try it though i like ketchup why'd you try to say it like obama yeah why did you go like ketchup uh I like Kachup. I like Kachup. I wouldn't. Do you see he made the news this weekend? In fact, I did. He gave a little pat on the butt to Michelle

as they walked up the stairs on vacation. They've been married a long time. Yeah, I don't think that should be news. I think if you're the president of the United States or former president of the United States, I think you should be able to give your wife a little tap on the butt. Just a little goose.

On vacation. I don't think that's a crazy thing to do. As long as it's consensual. Do you think goose will be on Obama's playlist for the summer? I don't know, Will. I don't know how you would... I don't know, man. Do you think he listens to goose very much?

Because he's goosing his wife? Yeah. There's probably not a connection there. I don't know. I don't know. Wait, did he goose? He didn't goose her. He didn't go. He didn't get wait did he goose he didn't goose her he didn't go he didn't get that's a little much yeah he didn't stick a ditch up there he just gave a little goose to me a goose is just a little like little pinch on the no a goose is when you literally like yeah goose is like that's not

a goose it is a goose is way more than a pinch dude i've always thought it was just a little pinch like hey how you doing? A little goose action. Hey, how you doing? I wonder if it's in Urban Dictionary. Probably not. While you look it up, Dylan, I'm going to make some announcements real quick, okay? Tomorrow, it's the last Tuesday of the month, and that means one thing and one thing only.

That means that the Dickie Know-It-Alls are absolutely losing their minds, because tomorrow is a Do You Know It edition of our patreon podcast beyond the paywall oh man i i can't wait personally i'm gonna bring it there's somebody who's a big part of that show that sounds like um they were the one that was at a big wedding weekend yeah randy maybe a little gravelly are you okay randy maybe are you all right one too many painkillers i don't know i've just had a sore throat since Thursday. I'm hoping. I'm trying to take it easy.

I have a theory that Randy is maybe sick. Maybe you have what Dave and I had a couple weeks ago. It's going around. A very mild head cold. All I have is a sore throat. Nothing else. Really? I don't know what this is.

Okay. Okay. We'll get you some chicken noodles soon. I'm hoping that this is done by tomorrow. We've also had more going on than just the Dickie Know-It-All's favorite thing, do you know, the Game Show podcast. We recorded our first episode of our Love Island recap podcast,

the Love Island Boys, that is now on the free feed, this feed that you're listening to right now, that debuted on Thursday. We'll be doing another one this week and every week moving forward. I've been enjoying the show and I think we're really hitting our stride.

Shout out to Mitch. So people were worried week one. I'm looking forward to going home and getting caught up. Oh, yeah. I'm fully caught. Yeah, you guys are up. I'm a little behind. I'm with the soccer guy.

Bombshell just got in there. Hello. And I cannot wait to see what happens. I just want to dunk on Mitch for an hour and then get out of there. Yeah, I was waiting for the name Muggy Mitch to come out, and I finally saw an episode last night where someone says Muggy Mitch and I was like, okay, that works. He's just an idiot and I want to talk about it. Dylan, do you have any confirmation on what a goose is in relation to someone's hand and someone's butt? Urban Dictionary,

from what I've seen, is completely unaware of the term goosing. Maybe it's because this term is from like the 1950s. It's a North Austin specific term, as I've learned recently. I'm going to stick with my version of it, but yours is fine too. I don't, yeah. So are you telling me Eugene like put his thumb up your butt? You don't stick, you don't keep the thumb in the butt. Well, I know. But it's kind of a quick like, you know.

Hey, how you doing? Yeah, kind of a knock on the door. Wheel check. Kind of a knock on the door, yeah. At one of the most prestigious bars in Austin austin yeah right yeah yeah that sounds like eugene yeah yep good good stuff man yeah dude yeah hey well it's podcast week too yeah it is it is you gonna say something about your hat i know yeah i just i got a new hat and i want y'all to it's cool man what's the clh stand for? Camp Longhorn. Okay.

Not whatever you think it is. You sick pervert. Just asking questions. Yeah. Check it out, man. Just a hat. You come in here wearing a new hat and don't want to be asked about it. Kind of weird.

So did you go to camp? Did you get to ride the blob? Did you go airborne? No, but I watched the kiddos do it. Those things are sick they got three of them out there man do they have like a day like the last day where you go out there before you pick them up and like they do like a parade or some shit like show you what they learned so the last day it's called visitors day we pick them up but before we do that they take a tour of the

whole thing the whole camp check out their cabin and then uh then the kids play around, do activities for a couple hours. It's a whole situation. The logical question that needs to be asked, was there a zip line situation? I thought, you know, I don't – Actually, there is a zip line, but there's one that's not over water, which is lakeside. Missed Oppo, if you ask me.

But, yeah, there's a zip. That's a spot. Yeah. This weekend in fun, I'll tell you about an all-time dad moment. It was sick. It's time

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But my favorite, my favorite part of it, the tonal palette, my friends. What a color palette these things have on there. I got the shorts on right now. I just remembered that. I'm rocking the shorts right now, David. Hey, I wore them to the gym this morning. Well, I'll be wearing these from the office to the gym later, so. Right.

Then right to the boardroom. Potentially the discotheca. It's a full evening. I don't know if I have time for all of that. All right. Father's Day coming up. Nope. No, it's not.

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Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? Oh, thanks for asking, Will. I had quite a jam-packed weekend. It was wedding weekend. Intern Klein, he was in here last week talking about the upcoming wedding. Wow. Man, what a full weekend. A lot of fun.

A lot of good people. Thursday night, welcome party out at barton creek great time got a fantastic fit off i'm sure everybody saw it that was a lot of fun friday we played golf early morning out at barton creek canyon and had an excellent time my game is in the gutter but that's okay i still had a great time my short game is in the gutter, but that's okay. I still had a great time. My short game, even you will say, a little silky. It was kind of nice. I was kind of nice with that wedge. Yeah, I don't know how many compliments we can toss your way when it comes to the golf game.

No, my game is in the gutter. But your wedges are on the green. You made up a lot of strokes around the green. I'll say that. That's facts. Yeah. Yeah. I told you, please don't do that at the golf course.

It's a stroke play okay were you doing it i know did you get any pops i don't even know what those are i don't care he didn't get any pops i don't he doesn't keep a handicap golf is is fine golf is fine we should make a shirt golf is fine went home and took a nap to rest up for the wedding because your boy was you know i'm old needed needed my rest you got to get your drip up too the wedding was so much fun man i had a i had a ball you you fellas were there dave was a dancing machine i'm sure you saw him i captured a lot of that on on the grom at d shivery yeah i got i've got some issues with y'all. Yeah, I've got some gripes as well, Dave.

Saturday morning, went to go pick up Parks at Camp Longhorn. And I was really worried about him at first because I talked about it. He was a little sad the first day. Settled in, had a great time. And when I picked him up, my parents were showing up, and he was kind of like scanning the crowd looking for us like kind of like like really excited to see us and i saw him first and i just yelled out for him he screams dad runs up to me throws his arms around me starts

happy crying all-time dad moment man it was incredible it made it me. I cried, of course, because he makes me a freaking baby. So much. It was great. It was a lot of emotion. Big time dad moment. Didn't tour the camp. That was great. A little pool party situation Saturday night or Saturday afternoon.

Parlayed that into mats, and then we went out. We hit dirty bills. Just a full-ass weekend. Yeah. Saturday was very unexpected. It was. It was fun. Sunday, I just licked my wounds and pretty much laid in bed for most of the day.

With Parks, he was happy to be lazy as well. So I don't like to brag about hangovers and not getting them because typically I am down bad. But you know it is a good wedding situation and the vibes are high when wake up after the wedding and then after the subsequent post-wedding party day felt pretty good wasn't down bad at all and uh yeah i don't like the bread but this was a this was a new experience for me because i thought i was going to be done turn the phone off on saturday not doing anything yeah i learned that if you if you drink seven dose eckies and three ranch waters you can wake up feeling pretty normal that's all i want to yeah dude vibes are just all-time high i was just loving it dude how many eckies did you

have total no one had more no one had more dude he was just housing eckies yeah all my exes used to live in texas but i took them all down this weekend damn the implication recycled those dog okay you did have they're getting shipped off to a processing plant somewhere yeah so we think well yeah probably not they're probably just getting thrown in an ocean yeah yeah they do it's facts um is it my turn i just kind of jumped in there i mean finish yeah okay is this your airing of grievances uh well yeah in a sec golf was very fun and very um great course. If you're coming from out of state and you're going to play Barton Creek Canyons course,

get ready. Weekend fees. Oof. But it's cool. I think I only owe people. What do I owe for losing Wolf? I was bad. It was a bad day.

I somehow think I came out ahead. I think you did too. I had some good partners. I definitely was the winner of the wolf, and I have no clue how much money I'm owed. I'll just send you $5. Yeah, if you guys just want to – can I just put my lunch today on the watch media card,

and we'll call it a day? Yeah. I'm going to go get a saran wrap sandwich. As long as you go to Papa Lotte. No, no. You can still get lunch at Papa Lotte for under $10. Shout out to them and their family. Golf is great, man.

Did not take a nap before the wedding. Thought I might. Just didn't work out like that. Kids and things like that happened. Went right to the wedding. It was phenomenal. Shout out to Lexi and Klein. Did a great job.

You know, I like to think we live in a world where if you are having a good time at a wedding, maybe ripping it up on the dance floor on the DF, maybe like the paparazzi isn't there, like sniping you. Maybe like you can just feel free of all encumbrances and not look over and see your business partner and friend just videotaping you.

I believe at one point you asked me to get you doing one certain dance move. Oh, yeah. You said, hey, get this. So, you know, I don't apologize. i think i put you on display and i think what was the dance move the double birds no what's that one call where you you turn around and you dropped it right in my face with your hand up it's the d-man the d-man you knew you are not upset about the content i put out it's just it's just pretty sad that's the world we live in, but it is the world we live in, unfortunately.

Yeah. Yeah, Saturday was fun too. Go ahead, Willie. Well, I mean, if we're going to sit here and we're going to really talk about this, I think it needs to get brought up that there was a certain photo posted in a certain slideshow. I think it was about the fourth photo posted in the slideshow.

And the person that posted it is a well-known, hey, can I see that before you post it person? And I would just like to know the thought process that goes into posting a photo where somebody might have been about seven dos equis deep plus three range waters. Are you saying I was zero equis deep at that point? Oh, and also maybe the night before from the uh welcome party when uh you posted a photo of me hey man i was i was on a

heater i was doing content and i was featuring my my good buds no one likes to post content where like his peers are like looking worse yeah to like elevate himself yeah it's an interesting move it's an interesting move so juxtaposition yeah it's an interesting move. It's an interesting move. It's a juxtaposition. You guys look great all weekend. What are you talking about? It's an interesting move. I don't know. You're a flawed guy. There's a lot of criticism in the comments of your Instagram, Dylan. I was on record saying that I did not

get my new suit to the cleaner in time, but I've also been wearing it to every event lately, so I mixed in my old suit. I have people insulting that. And I think you're just kind of leaving us open to some criticism that might be a little unnecessary dylan will famously has a new suit on the way i think you guys look handsome and everything i posted or else i wouldn't have done it i'm always looking out for y'all you guys are hot hot what were the shoes that i had draft taft taft can we get them back them back? That's a Grindex sponsor.

They gave us some pretty nice shoes. Yeah, there's someone at a thrift shop that got a really nice pair of unworn Chelsea boots at one point because they just straight up didn't fit me. But because it was an ad deal, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just like – You don't want to go on Facebook Marketplace? Yeah. Yeah.

Sunday. Oh, hello, Randall. How did you break your club? Hey. Oh, great. Oh, hold on, hold. How'd you break your club? Hey. Oh, great. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Great call. Can you re-ask that question, Randy?

How'd you break your club? So, towards the end of the round, we stumble up on a par three, a long par three, 215-ish, and I pull three iron. Didn't have any confidence in it. And at that point, the body just was not getting through the ball, so just flipped it, threw a little low hook, lost it. Terrible shot.

Walked back behind the tee, was like, dang it. Put the club, did the thing that you don't do. I put the club over my shoulders, behind my neck, and was like watching Dylan or Klein, somebody tee t off and was just kind of sitting there and like didn't was not trying to break it and then just kind of pulled down enough and it just snapped over my neck over like my shoulders didn't bow jackson it that club can't even hand you right now it just it's i'm basically saying now i need to buy new irons that's a great i'm gonna'm going to start breaking my irons. So I'm like, babe. It's a great –

I need new ones. You forgot. You didn't get me anything for Father's Day. I got to go get new ones. I guess I'll just get something for myself. You can have mine if you want them. I don't. Okay.

No offense. It's not – Your irons might have some stank on them. I'll take your wedges if you can make them left-handed. I don't think that's possible. I definitely don't want your driver. Why not? Do you need to change the setting on your driver? Like, honest question. Like driver why not do you need to change the setting

on your driver like honest question like it might help you just to change the setting um what i need is either a lot of lesson a lot of lessons or i just need to stop playing which i'm leaning toward the latter i told you if my clothes were stolen i wouldn't replace them that's how i feel about so you're not gonna pay for the handicap app no no never i gotta enter my score i entered my score david um it went fine it didn't do anything to my handicap so i'm just right where i need to be just a classic bogey golfer i would have taken that yep yep i did have a birdie you did which was an outlier. Yeah, thanks for pointing that out.

It was. I didn't do shit this weekend. No, I did. After the wedding and everything, I got to go celebrate my sister-in-law and my new brother-in-law at a party. And I went home, and I caught up completely on love island and it's great to be at this point in the the love island season guys yeah it feels very good um one thing i have not caught up on dave i know you're caught up on it is the idol so i'm gonna watch that that

next episode tonight uh you said it was freaking twisted so i'm very excited to go dip in no if you guys have idle takes please send them to dave no no i'm not gonna watch it and i'm not gonna accept that you texted me last night right before it started you said dude i don't have any sunday scaries because my weekend's just beginning and then you spelled weekend like him uh i remember that text you slid through with that you slid through with that for sure all right i need to run back and look i played my zock card last night oh my god all right give us the deets jets your boy went to favorite pizza you guys familiar with this place oh okay yeah yep yep had a little pizza party with some friends and uh we decided to go favorite on them and so we hit them with that Caesar salad.

One of the best Caesars in town. Mount Rushmore Caesar of Austin, Texas. Oh, my gosh. And then, yeah, we hit them with that Bolognese pizza. Famously stabbed 23 times. The Bolognese? Caesar. That's how they cut the salad, actually.

Yep. They chop it 23 times exactly. They called them Captain Stabbins. They did. They chop it 23 times exactly. They called him Captain Stabbins. They did. They did. Shout out Cherokee. You know, it might have been harder to stab him if he had more of a fit bod. Okay.

Yeah. No, that's a good point. No, Will's on to something it's almost july boys you're not the same person that you were at the start of the year so it's natural for your fitness journey to have ups and downs you know what i mean you know what i'm saying hey it's pool season know what i'm saying campbell whatever your fitness level is or whatever your goals are fit bod builds a dynamic workout plan just for you and it optimizes future workouts based on your personal progress it's a beautiful thing uh not only is it just a nice app that is like i mean it's a pleasure to use

you got hd tutorials aesthetically pleasing it's just it's just awesome but like if you're just sitting there and you're like man i haven't hit shoulders in a minute shouldy season it'll just start serving you different workouts it taylor it It tailor makes your workouts for exactly what you ask for, what your desired results, and even takes into account your workout environment. Are you doing at home? Is it just body weight stuff? Or are you at a gym with all the equipment available to you? It's pretty great. I mean, yeah. So whatever your fitness level is, whatever your fitness goals are, they got something for you to stay consistent all summer long. These workouts, they improve as you do. So no matter what, the powerful technology understands your strength training ability. It studies your past workouts and it adapts

to your available gym equipment, just like Dylan said. So you can track your achievements, learn new exercises, just get in shape with over 1400 exercise demonstration videos that help you learn movements the right way. Wherever you are in your fitness journey, get the most out of every workout with FitBot. Get 20% off of your subscription at fitbot.me slash steam. That's F-I-T-B-O-D dot me slash steam. Dylan, take it away. Take it away, my guy. It's not that I wanted to talk about this, but when something so grotesque happens in your backyard, you kind of have to at least acknowledge it on the podcast that you host, right? Oh, no.

What happened? What freaking happened, dude? There's a video that's going viral. You ever heard about these viral things? The virality. There's a video that's going viral right now of a young lady who – Okay. Maybe one of Randy's friends friends i'm not sure was out

on sixth street like dirty sixth it's called dirty sixth yeah okay which is the part of sixth street if you're unfamiliar um between like congress and i-35 like east east ish six yeah it's where you're most likely to run into a police barricade and also like to have like a dude stop you for a man on the street interview or something and it's a younger crowd yeah jay bone cheaper cheaper drinks than other parts of town i think it's just it's rowdier it's probably more dangerous and it's not as murdery as rainy that's true few murders doing but like they have a lot of fun they have a lot of rowdiness too it's true yeah you do it to a scale anyway they're also down there they probably have a few rowdy jones sadly there's none there's none or or not yeah that's true so they have um police

officers on horseback down there too easier to get you know weave through the crowds you know because it's a there are no vehicles they barricade like dave said no vehicles anywhere uh these horses they take shits on the road they're horses i don't know any better they shit on the road there's horse shit everywhere not everywhere some places there's a video of a young lady surrounded by a group of people all have their cameras out one of those scenes you know not don't anyway I'm just sitting here and she's on her knees your horniness is just so imposed on her knees by a pile of horse shit uh-huh and then she just starts smearing it all over her face go off Queen and then she lays she's like horse shit in the doo-doo in the doo-doo while while so many people are filming i'm just i'm just thinking like the sunday scaries shout out 500k by the way the sunday

scaries that this young lady probably had yesterday this when something when something like that's going viral and like hopefully she was completely out of her mind. Sounds like drugs might have been involved. But we're jumping to conclusions here. What if she read an article on Goop or something from Gwyneth Paltrow that said that taking a poop bath increases your vitamins in your skin? If you want to take a poop bath,

I recommend you don't do it in public. Okay, what if... This is a long shot, but what if she's just out there rolling in the slop, and she's looking for her pig? Maybe she knows there's some pigs in town, some pay pigs, just right down the road. She thought you were going to head over to... Down around Lamar Way.

Is there any chance that she could have been inside one of the horses, like Ace Ventura, inside of the Rhino, and then she found herself out on the street because she got birthed by the horse? I don't think that was... Because they're real horses. I don't know if it would work like that. If that's you, and your face is very visible in these videos, by the way,

if that's you, do you go to work Monday? I probably am going to contact, and I don't know how to get in contact with them. I think it's more they get in contact with you, the Witness Protection Program, and I probably wouldn't talk to anybody ever again. Not only am I not going into work on Monday, but I'm probably quitting my job.

I'm probably moving away, changing my appearance a bit. I'm going to call the vacuum repair guy and just have him come pick me up in an unmarked vehicle and just take me away, put me in his basement and then just send me to Nebraska to work at Shipley's or whatever.

I would never return to Austin again. You can't come back from being the horse poop girl. How'd she get home? I don't know. You're an Uber driver. You're an Uber driver and she gets in the whip how like are you making it more than a block you put her you strap her to the top of the

vehicle like mitt romney's dogs dude why did he do that you can't do that they're in a crate but doesn't make it any better it's not okay they don't do that what's weirder that he has binders full of women or he straps his dogs to the top of the car for road trips? I think it's the ladder, yeah. No, it's in a crate. It's not a ladder. Right.

It's tough for dogs to get up ladders. They don't have thumbs. That's true. Famously. Anyway. Do you think she like fell into it and was like embarrassed and then she's like, oh, I'm meant to get in here. Yeah, I tried to do this.

This is really good for you no she actually was on her knees in front of it while people were encouraging her to pick up the poop and start playing with it and so she did and started smearing it okay you were encouraging this if you were down there and you had your phone out and you're like egging on you're like hey yeah get more poop from the horse and put it on you you're uh you've got some problems yourself. You're not much better off. At least you're not the person who smeared poop on her face.

No, but you're poop adjacent. You are. I mean, so one time, this was probably about almost exact. No, probably seven years ago. I was living in Austin, had some old roommates, and they had some people out to a lake house for the 4th of July. And I went to bed. I was sleeping on the ground.

Not an ideal situation, but that's what it was for the 4th of July chill fest. And I woke up to a girl putting some peanut butter on my mustache and in my beard. And I got kind of annoyed. And I was like, get away from me. What are you doing? So I went and tried to wash it out. But I could smell the peanut butter in my beard for about five days after that.

Oh, that's good smell. But it pissed me off every single time because I also had the hangover that was associated with like a long weekend at a place where you're drinking all day. And it pissed me off every single time. This girl, meanwhile. Imagine if you smelled poop for five days.

Exactly. I'm watching it. Like I was driving to work a few months ago and I have a child. He's young. I have to change his diapers famously. Right. And I was driving to work one day and I reached up and scratched my nose.

And sure enough, I smelled poop on my hands. And so I rolled the window down in my car and I went the rest of the time with just my hand out the window because I didn't want to have it in the car. Were you doing this? Yeah. I was kind of doing one of those. So fun. You do the wave. It's crazy.

But like, it rattled me so bad that I couldn't even have the window up. And this girl is just sitting here just rolling in poop. I just don't know how you ever come back from this. Your reputation is just destroyed. You're out the group text. you're not in my group text i couldn't be your friend if by association i'm i'm like pooping j's like if she's listening i

would like her to send in a worst of story to worst of at washmedia.com if anyone else out there has any stories that are as bad as this girl's story we'd also like to hear your story at worst of at washmedia.com do you think maybe she was um trying to hide her scent as like you know typically dogs wolves canines will will roll and poo-poo to hide their scent so they can hunt and it's typically like their praise doo-doo so do we think this might have been like a hunting play i don't think so dave i think she was just out bucked up on six street you know i don't really i don't like how you respond to me sometimes like i'm asking a valid question this is a valid question you're so condescending i'm just asking if she was maybe maybe sure on some primal that's possible yeah sure okay hey

Okay. Sure thing. Fuck. Yeah, man. Anyway, hey, don't do that if you're listening. Not a good look. People will judge you. Yeah, Six Streets.

Dirty Six is probably the worst place to do it because people just go down there with professional cameras to find stuff like this and post it and get views, get some clout. So, yeah. We're all having Only only fans by the end of the week so you think she might lean into this a little bit i think she might not only lean in i think she might roll in yeah rolling it and rub it all over horse poop girl honestly if she's into it and there's other people into you might as well i'm the poop girl it's me there might be some kind of sick fetish thing going on here i don't know man i think it's drugs i think it's uh what kind of drugs pcp pcp is pcp the the one that makes you roll in poop poop it's not the the face eating one that's bath salts yeah i gave dave some bath salts the other day i actually put them in my my bathtub i didn't smoke them

why didn't you smoke them dude dude? I just thought like... That shit was expensive. It was. I got to tell you. Great bath. Is it going to be tough to like go back to other bath salts after those ones? Yeah. My Epsom salt bath.

Yeah. It's just not the same. Yeah. I've been taking Epstein salt baths. It's where I Google Epstein news and get angry. Well, just go on Twitter because he's literally trending every day. Yeah, but I've started to realize that I don't think he's just trending because there's actual news. It's more trending because there's just a bunch of bot accounts just saying stuff about Epstein.

Yeah, anytime something bad happens to a certain political person, it's like, oh, we're going to prosecute for this, but we still don't know who was in Epstein's flight logs, blah, blah, blah. And don't get me wrong. There is a lot of truth in that, but I don't really like the fake seeing it trending and thinking, oh, there's some big break in the case. They're going to finally tell us who did this, and it's not. It's just bots, like you said. Apparently Ghislaine's having a real good time in her max security prison.

She made some friends. She's going on regular runs around the track. She's trying to eat organically, but I don't think they're obeying that. Do they have tracks in the prison? It looks like, yeah, I saw a video. They just feed them slop in there. It's hard to eat organically in there.

You haven't been Venmoing her, have you, David? Please don't I think the government seized her accounts at this point So please don't waste your money on her, Dave Don't pay Pig Galane, man No, that's why my cash app was frozen Sir, please stop See you

I didn't know at the time Sir! I thought she was just a little baddie looking for a pig Right No, she was trafficking children, Daviddie looking for a pig. Right. No, she was trafficking children, David. Yeah. Well, I didn't know it at the time.

Can we stop talking about this story? Yeah, I'm ready to move on. It's pretty... We kind of did. We got a story from last week that I'm going to... Since you were on the bowling team with Alexis Texas, I'll throw it to you, Dave. Well, hold on. There's some truth to that.

I was in a bowling class with not only Alexis Texas, right on the cut. This was before she became Alexis Texas. I'm not sure who she is, so I'm going to Google it real quick. You'll know her. Also, the great Kyle Park park noted a texas singer song right and also noted media celebrity david ruff is in there yeah so quite the class oh yeah i'm on her instagram it appears as though she does some pretty risque stuff going well yeah um did you know that steven f austin has a bowling team is that a university or just a dude who started a bowling team?

To be clear, that is the university, not the high school. Okay. Which makes this story a little more palatable. What's the F stand for? Freaking? Stephen freaking Austin. Dude. Did he do this to differentiate himself from Stone Cold Stephen Austin?

By God, that's SFA's music. Now, what is that? I don't know what the middle one is. He should know. You lived in Austin. Yeah, what's your man's middle name, dog? Frederick. I don't know.

It's not a bad guess. I don't know. It's not a bad guess. It could be. It's Frazier's kid's name. Can you look that up while I tell the story of what happened here? We had ourselves a good old-fashioned bowling team scandal. Fuller.

Easy on the Pepsi. That's the thing, dude. Yep. That's quick. That's quick. You had the head coach of SFA's women's bowling team, women's being an important part of this. Amber Lemke is her name.

She's the head coach, and she previously had hired her husband, Steve Lemke, to work with her as an assistant coach. You got to get some help. Like, there's too many issues on this team. We need some, like, another set of eyes to help with the curve or whatever. The ball.

The bowling ball. I don't know how much coaching there is. Use the one who wiped him down before they used him. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Anyway. Steve, her husband, had a consensual extramarital

affair with a bowler on the team. What are you doing, Steve? Hey, Steve, don't do that. His wife, Amber, found the text messages. Got the receipts on them. Got to use WhatsApp or whatever the app that people are doing now. Don't tell people how to have an affair.

I'm just saying, like, if you're, I mean, like, what are you doing? Don't encourage that. Steve was fired for breach of ethics. It is quite unethical. Now, you might be thinking, like. Does it explicitly say in the bylaws that you can't smash your bowling athletes? I'm glad you asked, Will. will they're going to go on well the the reason we're doing this story not because like this is so crazy oh my god i can't believe this guy was hooking up with a college

chick he was coaching it's more his post uh post scandal quotes are uh so let me guess he was super remorseful apologetic i felt terrible about it he was very pragmatic about what happened i knew it was kind of a no-no but there's not a rule saying it can't happen no that's right there's not a law saying i'm going to go to jail for doing something like this there's nothing in stone i guess it's just an ethics code like we frown upon it but there's no rule there's no law broken again with the law so he's looking to the statute yeah there is not you can't lock me up no you can fire me maybe but it's been facts though yeah i'll try to justify his actions or anything but i'm just saying

he's not yeah he's not not justifying him i mean he's he's giving it a shot he was asked about the text messages he received he said it didn't have anything in detail it was just about how amazing i am basically in general perspective amber his wife saw that and questioned me and i got to the point where it just built up so much that I basically told her the truth after she dug through my phone. Like, okay, fine. After you've read the entire affair, I told you the truth. All right. What do you think the color of Amber's energy was when she found out about this affair?

What we're doing here, Dylan, is some 311 humor. I knew that there was some kind of stupid reference there. You look at Dylan when Will does that, he's all mixed up. Doesn't know what to do anyway um he kept going i was a stay-at-home i was the stay-at-home dad for five years with the kids while amber got to go off and coach the team and when she'd get back i'd run practices on top of taking care of the kids while she was back steve said when they travel again i would sit back and take care of the kids.

Then when I got hired on, she almost forced me to run practices. I was a volunteer the entire time before that, trying to help out Amber. Once I got hired on, one thing stemmed from another. I felt like I was doing too much for what I was being valued at. So, naturally. Naturally what? valued at so naturally naturally what he's just saying like look if you look at the facts if you look at my situation you could see he's trying really hard to justify his behavior he's like like yeah i don't you know i was a very supportive husband for a while and then i just you know he's like oh you want to be the head coach? You want me to run practices?

You're just going to, okay, watch this. Check my texts. Yeah. I feel like he, you know, hopefully behind closed doors, when he spoke to Amber about this, his wife, he was a little bit more apologetic and. Yeah, I don't know. He kind of, he's in a way, maybe in a big way,

he's kind of putting this on her a little bit. Yeah. Like, all you care about is coaching the team. I believe we call that gaslighting. You're smacking, you know, you're, you made me, I'm running practices, I'm an assistant coach. You didn't treat me fairly. You forced me to do this.

He had to get. Hey, Amber, you can do better sis lose this jerk you're out of here buddy what a beautiful disaster you can do better than this fella like what how how common is this in the collegiate bowling community? I don't know. I didn't know there was one. You have to wonder if this story is going to act like a transistor, lightning resistor, and potentially have implications throughout the collegiate bowling community.

You still put the bumpers up when you bowl right yeah it's more fun yeah no i'm going to i'm not going to bowl to to like break any records i just want to bump it you're getting at least one pin down every time all right this foursome goes to go uh hit the lanes bang some pins who's who's finishing on top something tells me brett's the guy who like tries to spin it oh yeah it goes in the gutter for like the first five and then yeah and then he'll get a couple strikes but yeah see like yeah I I see but you don't have to spin it like that I can see Randy having some like low key skill like he got really into bowling in high school or something and he's still got some like

overflow he's got like um not not like immediate family member but there's like a distant family member second cousin was removed who's bowled perfect games yeah yeah oh yeah oh my aunts and uncles are in leagues that's a midwest guy for sure yeah like yeah they're all in it i was pretty good i i i got i i bowled in the 200s one time nothing makes me want to wash my hands like bowling oh my god my hands are like toxic waste when i leave i'm just straight to the bathroom people in that scrub in that bowling class people would order food like hamburgers and they would bowl and they would eat in between and i was just like dude even then so i was a germaphobe and i was like that is so gross you pull your fingers

out of those holes and it's like there's just hundreds of fingers you're putting in your mouth which some people if i had to if i had like sometimes when we're recording these episodes just pulling the curtain back here you know we're going beyond the that's what we do man like sometimes i think to myself like what could i call this episode like what based on the the topics at hand and like unfortunately the only name that's coming to mind right now is bowling for poop and i don't like it no let's not do that yeah i don't like it so we need to like i think we need to have some other stories that we mix in today maybe i think we got a few more we could also just call bowling for poop and like call it right now it's not i don't want to do that you don't think you'd want to do that it's not clickable okay i get it like i understand where you're coming from there might be a lot of haters and losers who are like i can't believe how late they were on the story just want to let y'all know we were actually early we had

this on the rundown wednesday but wednesday went off the rails and was such a banger we're like you know what we'll have this ready for monday and i hope you it. It's a banger for sure. Hope you enjoyed it very much. You know what I enjoy? Squarespace. I started Sunday Scaries 10 years ago next month, 10 years ago. When I did that, I was like, you know what? I need to build a website on something. And I stumbled upon Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. You can stand out the beautiful website. You can engage with your audience. You can sell anything, your products, the content you create, even your time. I have no development prowess. I don't know how to code. I can do some basic coding,

but I can't code a website, David. We know a little HTML. I know a little HTML, but I don't know enough to build an actual website. I'm out here just trying to make ends meet. I consider myself creative, but that seems so analytical to me that I've just never been able to do it. But luckily, Squarespace makes everything so incredibly simple, from designing the website to implementing different things on the website, whether you're trying to do an email signup form, maybe you have a blog going on, maybe you're selling some products. You can do it all. You can even send emails from Squarespace itself to your follower base.

It's a beautiful thing. We're in the podcast genre. You can even post a podcast on there if you want to. It's so helpful. It's wild. Right now, do what I did. Go to squarespace.com slash steam for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code steam to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Go make that happen. Again, squarespace.com slash steam for a free trial when you're ready to launch use offer code steam to save 10 off of your first purchase of a website or domain an article came out last week on the new york times i am always you know i'm always checking the times seeing if there's anything i need to read anything anything I need to make fun of. And this was called the dad canon. Thought it was going to be about, you know, dad dick. But Dylan wrote a column about that one time.

Oh, that was not me. And so I was like, oh, I'm going to click on this. But what I found was that they came up with a, quote, highly specific, clearly subjective taxonomy of today's dads, what they can't stop wearing, reading, or talking about. And so I thought to myself, this might be a good thing to maybe just dip into, dip a little toe into, so we don't have to date the episode of Bowling for Poop. Yeah, I have to say, some of this is pretty spot on. So we start off today, it says shoes that can code switch.

They're talking about, you know, shoes that are maybe some dad shoes, your New Balances, your A6 Gels, your Crocs. Specifically the New Balance 990s, apparently, which as someone who was a big 993 guy back in the day. Oh, you mean frat cruisers? I didn't want to say it, but but my life when you're a frat star i i'm new balance shoes are kind of like mercedes to me and bmws i don't know the corresponding numbers or what they mean so whenever people say them i just nod along and hope that no one asked me anything specific i just know the 993s because those are the classic like gray with the reflective in the frat cruisers that everybody had what was that what

was the tfm someone submitted about ah i don't know i don't know word for word but one of my all-time favorite tfms was like the uh the glare of the ends running across the the yard when the cops show up to break up your it's good whatever that's life when your motherfucking frat that's exactly right dude there's so frat i was actually more of uh i was actually more of a new balance 999 shoes really yeah i was on my 999 plan back of my herman cain days that's beyond me but i'm sure that some people enjoyed it godfather's pizza is that is that the friend of dylan's friend co what herman's brother co cocaine would be his name well that oh yes cocaine that's another cocaine joke yeah at my expense i thought you were gonna take the vehicle and put it back onto the road but you just drove it further off the road yeah yeah i don't know my lesson

you said punch it to the left are dads rocking crocs no yes they are i'm not i'm not i actually crocs crocs have been in vogue for a little bit now i'm anti crocs still i'm pro crocs on my son i'm not gonna wear crocs oh wanna hear something interesting about crocs on your son not yours specifically uh they have swim day every or splash day at uh roads daycare yeah every wednesday yeah no crocs they say specifically we don't want to say that david the school that fritz goes to they said they specifically said no crocs and uh when they do their water day turns out i don't give a fuck i said i'm in his crocs this guy if you're new here something you need to know about will he doesn't give a fuck man why. Why is that? They're gray

water shoes, right? I think it's just they're clunky. Maybe the kids trip on them. I don't know. I think they float, too. I decided one day that I did not want to send him in something else, and so I just sent him in his Crocs, and no one said anything, so I've been doing it ever since. Kind of the bad boy at daycare. He's a bad boy, yeah.

Just walk around, just pump faking kids in his Crocscs like that's right bitch i think dylan's most likely to have the most dad shoe game though his golf shoes are certainly my golf shoes certainly are terrible not great i know do you ever wonder what your handicap would be if you didn't have those shoes no don't care golf's fine golf is fine the next one they have on here is let's just give him a pouch says a man can hardly be blamed if after a long day at work he looks in his pantry sees a small translucent sachet filled with earth tone slurry of organic vegetables hands it to his child and calls it

dinner i can go on record saying i don't just hand over a pouch for dinner this is diminishing this is diminishing what men do in the kitchen a lot of times they, they want the pouch. This is an on-the-go snack. The pouch is a good supplemental. You can't replace an entire dinner with a 70-calorie snack. No, obviously what you do is you ask, hey, do you want mac and cheese and chicken nuggets? And he's like, yeah, fuck yeah, I do. You make them, and then you give it to him,

and he doesn't want it. And you're like, oh, cool. I guess I'll just eat this or throw it. I don't know. Put it in the fridge. Oh, okay, Will. What? Classic'll just eat this or throw it. I don't know. Put it in the fridge. Oh, okay, Will. What? Classic kid.

Be professional, you two. Let me change my clothes without you guys commenting. Because Dylan's got the heat on. My average boner number just went up by a little bit, I think. Stop. There's something called competence porn. It says the essence of dad core is that you have a very competent middle-aged man who's just kind of plugging away, saving the day through hard work work i don't even know what they're talking about in this one

are they just talking about like dad's reading shit about being dads are they just talking about like what we read fuck this one yeah it's it's about what we read it's it's kind of a lame-o one oh hey new york times we don't actually read dude uh the next one hits home this is where it gets good are you worried dave um no they're exposing you right now they're talking about pellet grills okay did you do you grill pellets on these grills uh no the the pellets are on a heating they get fed into a heating device apparatus and it's it creates smoke so you get like the um the smokiness of a smoker, but it's much easier to use.

Very useful in maintaining a constant temperature, low effort. Often looked down upon by grill hardos. I get it. I think I'm going to do a brisket this weekend. A brisket? I'm my brother-in-law's Traeger with him. I think we're going to do a brisket together. We talked about it this weekend,

and I've never done one. I've always wanted to do it. I've done it before, but I've never been integral in the process. And so I think we're going to make this happen. We've been doing our steaks exclusively on the cast iron skillet. So do you have a good ventilation system in your crib? Yeah. I've gotten it to where it's heated in the oven then throw it on the burner

the burner that's right on the back that's right under the the big fan which i'm still not sure if that fan does anything but it does make noise throw it on high get that skillet as hot as you can they say 500 degrees i don't think i'm getting close to 500 but enough to sear it doing a sear inch or not an inch a minute each side then throwing it in the oven at 415 for like four or five minutes great steaks really good steaks so is that your classic reverse sear that is a reverse sear technically i believe you can reverse sear on a traeger too but my traeger when it was operational never got close to what they said it would on temperature never got 500 so if you got to say that was a cowboy cut, would you be doing reverse cowboy?

Answer the question, David. I prefer reverse bone-in. Dylan, what were you saying? I was saying that Dave purchased the Yeti cast iron skillet for $400, and that's what he says. No, Brett's girlfriend actually gave me one. They had it laying around. Oh, that was nice of her. Why are for $400. And that's what it says. No, Brett's girlfriend actually gave me one that I had laying around. Oh, that was nice of her.

Why are they $400? Because it says Yeti. It's a collab. It's a collab with like a Japanese cast iron skillet company. Still just, if you're buying that, like you have too much money. It comes in a box that says Yeti on it.

So that's why it costs $400. That'd be weird. Brett saw Yeti once while he was peeing why it costs $400. That'd be weird. Brett saw a Yeti once while he was peeing on the side of the road. I know. They also call out dads for listening to Roman history

at 1.7 speed. I think that's just making fun of us for listening to dork-ass podcasts at quick speeds. It is. Yeah, I'm listening

to Carlin, bro. People that are public about how they listen to podcasts at an increased speed, that's the biggest dork shit i've ever heard i don't care i like to slow down in life i like to i like to not just pound my brain with

knowledge like it's a fucking hanging bag plus if if you're listening to hardcore history sped up you're missing out on like some really great dramatic pauses and like the inflection of dan carlin like the just voice just so good the half speed option is funny i don't know why anyone would ever choose the half speed option but it makes us sound really drunk if if i'm sipping that slow-mo maybe i'll listen to a half speed that double cupped oil yeah if i'm cupped up old up yeah well people don't realize how good we sound on half speed it just sounds like we're absolutely obliterated it does yeah it's fun i like to listen to it on half speed it just sounds like we're absolutely obliterated it does yeah it's fun i like to listen to it on half speed sometimes like we've been sipping on that scissor you know i'm saying there

sipping on that scissor they also call out dads for knowing way too much about statistics on things oh man i hate being well informed yeah yeah suddenly suddenly we're not supposed to have just like you know a brain on us i think they're really just coming at that website that ESPN just got rid of. Didn't they just get rid of their like dork analytics side of things? Did they? Probably. Yeah. Will, have you purchased –

Sorry, I'm on baseball reference, bro. Have you purchased a 90s rap album on vinyl yet? No, I actually haven't. I have a couple in my – I have a couple on my want list on discogs do you follow me on discogs dylan yeah it's my vinyl trading app which one do you want to hear my want list yeah i can just holler at my entire want list right now if you want me to play you're hoping people are going to buy it send it to you no no no no that people people shouldn't do that no i got a couple on there actually one of them that I have on here

is the one that is pictured in here. I do like me some Tribe Called Quest. But the one that I think is going to be my first rap vinyl purchase will be Illmatic by Nas. Okay. I was always a big Nas guy in high school. I don't want to play Uchiwally on vinyl

in front of my son as that is a really inappropriate song. Right. It's Randy's ringtone, son as that is a really inappropriate song. Right. It's Randy's ringtone, which I think is just really weird. Uchi-bang-bang. It's a little over Randy's head. Yeah, apparently dads are just buying... I mean, this is very true.

I'm the most likely to fall into this category. If Dave's the smoker guy, I'm unfortunately the vinyl guy. The next one hits home for me as well. The weed is too strong Dylan? Yeah I'm pretty sure strains of weed Modern day have gotten much stronger Than they used to be

Well yeah 100% I don't think people realize this Like they were smoking Absolute fucking mid weed back in the day I was in for a very rude awakening that time I took half of Ross' bong hit At that Halloween party And it immobilized me for an hour and a half

I couldn't move. I could barely speak. It was truly shocking how strong it was. Yeah, this article correctly calls out that the weed is simply too strong these days. I hit an Indica pen while I was in California where it is legal during my sister-in-law's wedding last week, and it put me on a different planet see the pens i gravitate to the pens because i feel like you can control the intake much better and it's it's not

as strong at least for me i just don't like edible i don't like i don't like high dose edibles oh i don't yeah i don't either like the reason i like early bird is because they are the appropriate amount for what i need um this is a callback but you ever uh have you seen all the memes about the uh animation uh at bowling alleys with the pins like after you get like a strike and like there really is some like intricate the horny ones yeah what's going on i don't know i don't know who's watching this who's watching do you guys have multiple screens for your computer at home no kind of surprised my wife does for work purposes damn that's alpha yeah she's a fucking girl boss yeah well apparently dads love giant screens do you guys read sci-fi i got some buddies that read sci-fi but like i'm

not into that i feel like you guys just read like uh non-fiction books i read self-help books pretty much exclusively i don't i don't hate that mood like i i think they're easy to read and like it kind of you get value out of it yeah you do i don't read that much fiction i can't sit here and act like i'm just a fiction reader sci-fi has never done anything for me apparently dudes are just reading sci-fi at a like a lot i don't i don't i have no desire to get into sci-fi i might die do you read sci-fi randy do you care to i don't read okay all right fair enough can't you can though right i think you think she can read i think i think do you guys have opinions on t-shirts because apparently dads these days are very uh

aggressive about their t-shirts. I think I have several. But I also host retail therapy. Oh, okay. Never mind. What? I was thinking graphic tee with stuff written on them. Non-sponsor. Let's just take sponsors out of it.

Do you have a go-to t-shirt these days? I don't know enough about t-shirts. I don't know the cool brands. I usually just do a J.Crew pocket tee. I own several of those. I don't really know better. I'm either going. I've got three that currently are in my my heavy rota uh the dirk novitsky graphic tee of his uh draft day where he's got the big german butt cut love that shirt there's my early bird

t-shirt shout out to early bird cbd non-spawn but shout them out what's the code back they don't sell t i mean they're not like a t-shirt company you can buy their merch though you can buy merch from them uh and the third one is uh from it's a mugsy t-shirt it's the one that you told me i look like scott disick and that's my go-to you asked is that not what you're looking for you know it that's exactly what I was looking for, David. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. No, I'm okay with that.

Hey, I found a box of books that I've had since college and collected in my 20s in my garage yesterday. And I don't know what kind of content I want to do with it. But it might be worth a segment on Wednesday. So just stay tuned. Okay. Found my comic books. That's sick. Also found my Farside,

my multiple Farside books that were a big player Scholastic Book Fair. What about the rap? He has Farside, Gary Larson. Oh. The next one I hear is Goat Talk. What, just arguing who the goat is? Yeah.

We've been doing that. It's also Jim Ziers who interned for us. Yeah, yeah. It's also Brando. What, just arguing who the goat is? Yeah. We've been doing that. It's also Jim Zier's who interned for us. Yeah, yeah. It's also Brando. Yeah, intern Brando loved talking who the goats were. Every day. You see that video of Tom Brady and Michael Jordan playing basketball together this weekend?

I did not. Yeah, they were just balling together. Damn, that's sick. Yeah. Those are two goats, man. Neither of them have a wet enough bounce pass to play with me. I'm pretty sure Michael Jordan has a decent bounce pass. a decent bounce not his pound passes how does tom look out there can he handle himself on the court uh i think the video that i saw was very uh self-serving honestly

it's probably tom brady's people putting out this cgi like they definitely put this out themselves to be like oh yeah tom brady plays basketball with michael jordan yeah this is good for them the next the next one on here that we need to talk about okay i've never heard of prestige children's television before is that what you would consider bluey to be because that's what they call out here is bluey prestige i don't know bluey is kind of like on the high end parks never got into bluey i'm totally unfamiliar with this it's just about australian dogs it's not a game blue you think this is a game no his you think this is a fucking game i'm sorry i brought it up i was trying to contribute to the podcast okay yeah bluey's fine fritz isn't he

doesn't care that much about bluey but i think bluey is one of the better ones to watch bluey is almost universally the go-to for parents just because it is kind of it's entertaining it's not i'm not saying you're gonna sit there when your kid's not around and watch it but it is kind of fun there's some there's a little bit of adult humor in there like lightly sprinkled in have you fucked with frog and toad yet no on apple tv plus no but dude always looking for new material it dude and it's an absolutely delightful watch. There's jazz music in the background. It's pretty chill. You see Frog and Toad just absolutely mob together. Sometimes they get cookies.

Other times they get a new pair of shoes. Now, I got to ask, is it Frog and Toad or Frog and Toadstool, Will? It's just Frog and Toad. It's not a mushroom. Okay. Yeah. Just wanted to make sure. It is confusing that you would call something Toad when it's actually a mushroom and not a Toad.

You know what I mean? Some people would call people dumb that say toadstool, but not me. Hey, speaking of mushrooms and toads. Yeah. This is a really hard pivot, but we have a friend we used to work with who recently went on a DMT retreat. Oh, really? Really. And he lives in Austin, and I don't really think he would care if we named him but would he be a fun for a segment

yeah because i don't know who you're even talking about you could probably guess it's ryan oh okay he was posted yeah ryan ryan went to some place and did a dmt ceremony i don't know maybe we will do that sometime we had him on touching base one time but then the audio got lost somehow i've been there he was like our third he was like our third ever guest shout out to brunch don't don't expose bro they didn't they didn't care for my my jokes and that's fine i care for theirs i i don't some of these other ones i'm just not caring about anymore let's power through some more. Yeah, is there anything you want to call out in particular?

Because there's some that I don't really give a fuck about exactly. The electric bike one is very spot on. When I drop parks off at school, it's a parade of electric bikes with their kids on the back. I mean, it's a very big dad thing, at least for...

Dave and I are out here nostalgic gaming, just using fucking Nintendo Switches to play things from our childhood. Strong opinions about AI, yeah. As much as i wanted to not like this article after reading the intro the guy that nails it the nostalgic gaming pieces is absolutely accurate i'm still i'm like out here playing tony hawk's pro skater 2 on my playstation 4 yeah like i'm not even using my playstation to its its best ability. Oh, crap. Speaking of, oh, I got to send that PS5 to that girl whose cash app I got recently.

I just don't know her address. So if you're listening, that PS5 is coming. Going Powerballed. Okay. There's the Bic. The Bic smooth cue ball head. You claimed you were going to do that for a while, Dave, and you never did it. I was ready for it.

Bathroom texting? I don't like that. Sure. Being a wife guy? What is, when they say wife guy, I feel like that's a demeaning term. I think it just means like a good husband. Like you just really like your wife? I don't get why this is an insulting thing.

You're not the assistant coach at a at a texas university yeah yeah and you're not uh getting it on in the bowling alley one of the last ones is statins it's heart medication they are the most widely prescribed they are i don't even know what that is. It's just like a blood flow medication. Oh, yeah. Not for your penis. Are you sure? It might work. Do you know how many boners you get a day, Dylan?

Exactly 11 every day. Dylan said two to three. We didn't talk about that, but that seems low. And you don't have low T. I feel like you have good T. Is that low? I mean, if I'm stimulated, then it's different, right? If I'm like hooking up.

Yeah, obviously, yeah. I might just sit around the office springing wood. Really? Okay. I'm not judging you. I'm just surprised. Yeah, I think that's accurate. We'll have to ask KJ.

Too much dip. He might have a completely different answer. Knowing him, you know? What, are you trying to call him horny? He's horny. Why are people not allowed to text in the bathroom? Bathroom texting is a great opportunity for screen time. I mean, like...

Are kids not doing that? Like, I fucking... I'll roll up and I'll sit down and I'll sit on that toilet for 20 minutes just doing number one just to text my boys. I think this is more so like dads will just go in there to pretend they're on the toilet for like 30 minutes so they can hop on the message board or text their boys. Like they're two-year-olds out there. Crying. Freaking out because you turn on the TV without letting him do it.

And then you're like, well, oh, I got to go to the bathroom for the next 45 minutes. Escaping your home life. It's pretty specific. Yeah. Just what I've heard. We don't have a lock on our bathrooms. It doesn't matter. Fitzgerald will just walk in and just be like, what's up, dude? Play with me right now. I like that. No, I don't like it at all. I don't have anything more on this article.

I forgot how many there were when we first dove into this. Yeah, there were a lot. There's too many. They're pretty accurate for the most part. Do you even want to do it? It's a tough into this. Yeah, there were a lot. There's too many. They're pretty accurate for the most part. Do you want to do it? It's a tough pill to swallow realizing that you're a stereotype. Yeah. That's fine. Some of those were very endearing.

I'm not going to apologize for wanting to play Mario 3. That's facts. That's facts. I do have a question on our final topic for today. This was from last week, and we just didn't have any time to do it three that's facts that's facts i do have a question on our final topic for today uh this was from last week and we just didn't have any time to do it because uh we just had a loaded week last week uh are elon and zuck actually going to fight and if so who are we taking in this fight i think the chances this actually happens are pretty low okay uh but i'm taking zuck because

he's the one who trains no he he gives up like 80 pounds on so that means that you could you could beat the shit out of elon if you wanted oh my god are you kidding is that a serious is that are you i'm just i'm just trying to get i'm trying to get so easily okay okay um this is one of those things where i'm like okay this this story is going away but it is only increased and now you got dana white promoting it in quotes like saying like it'll be the biggest fight of all time i'd love to make it happen and it looks like on paper it might happen i don't see why either these two do it. I don't really think this is positive. If you are a shareholder, you own yourself some Tesla or some Meta.

What happens if Mark, what if you just watch Zuck go out there and get tapped? He won't. But what if he does? What's that do to the stock price? Am I about to short Tesla? Maybe. You own a Tesla truck and you see Elon get the shit beaten out of him by zuckerberg you got to get rid of that fucking truck you got to get rid of it anyway like you yeah you can't

you can't have that like if you have a tesla and zuckerberg beats the shit out of elon like you got to get rid of that tesla would you guys push a cyber truck no they're just giving no they're so big no too big i'd push a rivian yeah there's a little sexy little things yeah like i would do one of those but i i can't i can't hang my hat on the the tesla bandwagon at this point yeah yeah i just i get angry at like every tesla on the road it's not justified but i just see when i'm like get the fuck out of my way it's your problem cool license plate it is crazy how many teslas are i saw a i saw a thing the other day um i saw a car on the road the other day okay that's crazy and the license plate said texan okay seems normal we're in texas we're in texas right but it was spelled t-e-C-H-S-Y-N.

Texan. I fucking hate it here, man. I hate Austin. They wanted it so bad. They wanted to put that out there, that they're a Texan, so bad that they were willing, knowing that they tried to get Texan, and it was already taken.

So they're like, you know what? Let's just do the worst possible spelling of this and they succeeded i couldn't stop thinking about it i was like is this person working in tech did they go to texas tech one of those two probably makes a lot of what kind of vehicle was it a tesla david yeah it wasn't texas tech It wasn't an F-250? No, it wasn't. They didn't have boots in the back between the bed? No, no. There was no frayed hat on the dashboard. You're not backing up your Tesla into Nick's next time you're in Lubbock, why?

Outrun Lubbock, why? Man, once you hop on 84, go northbound, pull pull through post if you can make it through there without getting pulled over amen brother once you see those lubbock city lights man it's different brother you understand where i'm going with this not really no i don't either i wasn't born in texas but I got here as soon as I could. Yeah, I knew that about you. It took you a long time, though. Yeah, 27 years famously.

Would you rather have that bumper sticker on your car or that Mattel Rancho one that I put on your car? I regret taking the Mattel Rancho one off the car. I can fully admit that now. I shouldn't have done it. Shouldn't have done it. Did your boy got poncho-style nachos this weekend? Don't care. This weekend, I did something I've never done at Mattel Rancho until this weekend.'t care uh this weekend i had something i did something i've

never done at matt's town rancho until this weekend you ready for this dylan i know you're a enchilada boy there sometimes when you're not going poncho style you were fun to be around i got damn that was mean i was biting i got tomatillo enchiladas green enchiladas for those at home with shrimp and pretty good okay i would get it again is it the little shrimp it's a little shrimp okay they used to call dave that in college yeah didn't they call you little shrimper yeah it's a small penis that's right okay glad you brought that up i'm hearing you i saw you on your flauta grind yeah i didn I didn't want to take away from Klein's wedding, which was fun. But the main event was going to Matt's with my family

and having just the most fun meal you could ever have. They put those flautas down in front of me, and I was just like, this whole dynamic has shifted. Fajitas are cool. You know what else is cool? Fun. Fun flautas. It's the most fun you'll have at a Tex-Mex.

I bet you had a good time eating your flautas. Yeah, you should have came over. You did sit down for a minute. I went off on my freaking shows. Do you remember the news that I broke to you and Brett? Start spreading the news. Remember when I called Brett and told him what had happened? No, fill me in.

It's the same thing I told you when I was walking to the bathroom and I saw you in there waiting for a drink can you um enlighten me again because it turns out i was on one it turns out that um livy rizzed up baby gronk and he's the new drip king yeah i did i remember i just i remember exactly where i was and i learned that i thought about not sending that because like i didn't want to take away – because Klein was there. I didn't want to take away from his weekend, but it's like – I mean you got news like that. You can't just sit on it. No, he's the new drip king.

Fuck. I'm whatever the opposite of the drip king is after Klein's wedding because I did something that no one expected me to do. I was the least sweaty person at Klein's wedding for a brief moment in time. And you kept reminding everyone about it throughout the entire wedding. No one was mad how little Will and I were sweating. Yeah, I was built absolutely different for no reason that day. I saw one particular gentleman who played golf with us who sweat through his suit. Yeah, it's tough.

Tough to do. It's very warm. Do you want to hear my foolproof plan for not sweating during a wedding that I accomplished one time? On the way to the wedding, I drank an entire 32-ounce ice water, and I chewed the ice that went along with the ice water to ensure that I was as cold as I could possibly be. And then during the wedding, I didn't move the entire time unless I was repositioning myself to get in more shade.

And I have to admit, it worked out really well. I knew that the ice trick worked when I heard Dave say, oh, just felt that first trickle of back sweat. And I thought to myself, I'm like at least five minutes away from that. Yeah. My secret is to do a viral ALS bucket challenge right before the ceremony. Yeah. Yeah. If you plan it right, you can make it happen. Get buckets. I didn't have a trick as I was sweating profusely and my shirt was transparent by the time I got inside the venue. I was surprised by your sweat levels. No one was like looking at you like,

wow, that guy's disgusting because everyone was sweating. But like I was surprised that out of the three of us in this room, you were the sweat guy. I've never been able to acclimate to Texas heat. And my the first part on me that starts to sweat is my back my back just immediately just starts dripping what about your neck i'm not gonna i'm not gonna encourage this behavior what i think you're thinking three steps ahead still a lot of fun if you want to call it i gotta go see what happened with Crass yeah dude

he's trending dude I don't know which Crass alright let's call it then his ass is Crass Twitter's a lawnmower oh no it doesn't look good bye you