Circling Back - Time Person Of The Year & RIP Nick Cannon

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

TIME Magazine named their Person of the Year, and obviously we had to name Circling Back's Person of the Year. Eminem (and Twitter) also killed Nick Cannon, and Brett went missing all morning. We also knock out This Weekend In Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (7:30) Record-Setting Mountain Lion (21:25) TIME's Person of the Year (41:20) Sup, Dallas? (55:21) This Weekend In Fun Yousician: www.yousician.com/steam (two free weeks) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com/collections/circle (Circling Back-exclusive products, RANDY20 for 20% off for first-time customers) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the early bird studio in Austin, Texas. My name is Will DeFries to my right Dave Ruff. What's up World Wide Web? How's everybody doing? Dude, you shouted out like the internet the other day too yeah that well that was actually for certifieds but you pulled the curtain back you gave them a little bit of a taste of what they're missing yeah they're missing that kind of stuff that's not me

i'm sorry no that's fine i'll venmo the company a hundred dollars and i i did not see this one coming though but r.i.p nick Cannon is trending so it looks like we lost we lost the real one you hate to have that happen he's actually still alive why would people say that he's resting in peace he's getting cancelled left and right by hip hop

twitter he came at Eminem's neck you know so he's married to Mariah. No. Not anymore. No, they're divorced. But he's just...

I've always been on record saying that I don't think that Nick Cannon ever liked Mariah Carey. I think the little kid version of him was just like, I'm going to marry Mariah Carey. It was a status move for him. Yeah. I have an announcement to make about Nick Cannon. He sucks. Sucks. This guy sucks. You're a big Wild N' Out guy, I'm going to marry Mariah Carey. It was a status move for him. Yeah. I have an announcement to make about Nick Cannon. He sucks. Sucks. This guy sucks.

You're a big Wild N' Out guy. I'm not. It's one of the worst shows on television. Last time Dave and I were hanging out with Parks at your place, he let us in. It was no big deal. He's insufferable across the board. Everything he's ever done. I looked at your DVR.

You have hundreds of episodes of Wild N' Out recorded. I don't have. No, I don't. God, don't make up that shit. Fuck that guy. I almost just started chewing ice on the mic and that would have been awful yeah people would have complained about that dude people no one's talking about the fact that we just bought a bunch of new furniture for the office well probably because we did about eight minutes ago no one's talking about it yeah it turns out that uh

a lot goes into setting up an office. Lots. I like the fact that we're just paying for an empty building. I like the fact that the first purchase, the first piece of equipment to go in there was the cappuccino slash coffee maker. Yep. I have all the new podcasting equipment sitting in my apartment. We don't need that.

But I don't trust just leaving it in the office right now. It's too unattended. We could really sketch people out because you can see there's a window that you can see into the office so people walking by like these guys ever going to move in we should just put a camera our camera on like the tripod in the middle there and they'll walk by and just see that like what the fuck's going on let's just get one of those like critter cams or whatever you put in your house. My ring cam just picked up motion at 930 and it kind of gave me anxiety, but I'm assuming it's Randy. It's probably Enzo.

Yeah, it's probably fucking Enzo, dude. He just can't. He didn't have a house key yet. He just wanted to come through. Oh, it's inside. Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. Do you know what one of my first goals is at the new office?

Because you know how like everyone else there kind of has this like, you know, office job, like know what one of my first goals is at the new office? Because you know how everyone else there kind of has this office job, like generic office kind of thing? I want there to be some dudes that work at the office that slide into the office. Like, hey, so new guys on the block, what do you guys do here? How do you guys make money? What are you guys doing? Yeah, and then I want them to start feeling comfortable enough

that they just come in and chill. They're like, oh, I'm going to go have coffee with Dave, Will, and Dylan. Okay. We need to have some office buddies that we squad up up with we never had that at the old offices anywhere just dap people up in the people have generally hated us yeah but i don't think it's because of us no it's not it's just the idea of us yeah i think if they really got to know us they would like us yeah that's that's kind of how i feel about just me in general when it comes to like listeners of the podcast that's what i tell people at the meetups about you.

Yeah. It's like, no, you hate the idea of him. You just need to meet him. He's a nice guy. He's better in person. I mean, I've had numerous people say that to my face. I don't like you on the podcast, but you're really nice. I'm like, oh, thank you.

I appreciate it. Yeah, I'm interested to see how we mix in with these folks. We mesh with the squad up there. They're going to get really annoyed when we get our golf simulator in and they just hear this like, thump, on the wall every single time. Just hitting driving irons. Hybrids only. I'm getting really anxious about getting in there.

I'm just so ready. Is that because we cut a check for first and last month's rent like two months ago? And we haven't used the office yet? Yeah. It's kind of a flex, though. That's why. I mean, to be fair, it's only been 11 days since we've had access to our office. Not a whole lot of time has passed.

I'm just ready. Dude, I get it. It's like it's our new home, and we're not even in there yet. I know. We've got to finish some of the remodeling. That's how it goes, dude. Moving's not easy. It's not a seamless transition, Dylan.

Oh, man. Whatever. I just bought chairs. They're kind of tight. I copped a table for us this morning. Good. No one's talking about that. You didn't update the dock, sir.

Oh, sorry. Dumbass. Sorry. Hey, dude, I've been active in this dock. That's true. That's fair. Yeah, you you love docking i'm a big dock guy i was so pissed when they when they changed it from google docs to uh google drive it's a lot less funny i love dock n what it's one of my favorite metal bands i don't even know what that is i don't know i feel like dylan right now

just having no idea hey we have a glaring omission in the studio today big game his name is big game brett he's not here no one has any idea where brett is right he didn't make it out alive after our goals meeting yeah we had a goals meeting yesterday he just left with his face was just white we talked about goals he's the one coming in hottest yeah i mean he was big game but dude they don't call him big game brett for no reason if he hears there's a goals meeting he's gonna walk in fully prepared ready to we were like hey man let's you want to go like shoot some birds or something he's like no no let's go get an elk like what yeah we're very different we're trying to get pheasant and stuff yeah we're just it's just something like

very low maintenance he's a trophy hunter yeah but we have no clue where he is right now he could be anywhere maybe he got poached by another media company brett brett does what new employees should do and i'm a big fan of it he shows up to the studio normally before any of us get here you know it would be a messed up rumor to start about brett is that he got the name big game brett because he like trophy hunts in africa yeah yeah like he shot an elephant yeah there's yeah there's like prince harry-esque photos out there of him just like water buffalo and shit that's why he water buffalo you're good are you good on that i think they yeah they're not like people weren't a fan of prince harry's buffalo there were no water buffaloes in lion king so i think they yeah they're not like people weren't a fan of prince harry's buffalo there were

no water buffaloes in lion king so i think people like they don't have like the uh the humanification if that's a word wildebeest killed mufasa right sorry spoiler alert hyenas if i just spoiled that for you rewind 15 seconds and then fast forward 30 seconds hyenas triggered a stampede. So I don't know who to... I think it was Wildebeest. But that wasn't intentional. They used to call me Wildebeest when I was playing football.

No one called you Wildebeest. I called you Wildebeest. Grant, at the last place. Yeah, you know what it is. Whatever. That's why he wanted to move to Texas so he could go to those ranches that just have the specialty animals on them that come over from Africa.

It's true. There's a hell of tigers in Texas. Have you talked about that mountain lion? No. Can we talk about it? I want more confirmation. We can, yes. It looks fake.

Shouldn't that be in the news? Yeah. Right? I would think maybe San Antonio covered it because isn't it down just southwest of there or something? Southeast? Yeah, southeast of Carnes City. So the story is my stepfather,

shout out to Blake, sent me a text message, sent it into our group, and said that his buddy, Mark, they have property southeast of San Antonio near Carnes City. Carnes is K-A-R-N-E-S. And they killed a mountain lion, and there's a picture, and the mountain lion allegedly is 295 pounds.

Which would be world record. Which would be a record, yes. Just a world record which would be a record what just a world record like a record um the the largest mountain lion ever killed is 276 pounds ever dude that's so big and there's a picture like i showed you the picture this thing looks absolutely enormous it's a unit i couldn't believe how big it was when you sent it. It's huge. That thing is killing whatever it gets a hold of. But I want an article to pop up about this thing. We need him to be a guest on Shooting Clays with Clay.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I look up. I Google Mountain Lion Carnes City, and there's an article from June saying that there have been mountain lions reportedly seen in the area and that's it so i i just want something else than a than because this not not that i'm doubting my stepdad but you know sometimes it's like the game telephone information gets passed to several people you don't know exactly how it started i don't know

i'm not very good at identifying weights i'm not i'm not dylan you know i can't see how much somebody lost. This thing's bulky but lean. This thing looks like it could be 295 pounds. Yeah, if someone asks me how much that thing weighs, I'm saying 300 pounds. He's jacked and he's huge. Honestly, even if it's like 215, that's still pretty huge.

I think you can see his big old nuts hanging down a little bit. He got a big hang down? I can't see his hang down. Big old mountain lion nuts. Big old mountain lion nuts. Big old mountain lion balls. Crazy. Yeah, if I kill a mountain lion, I want it to have big balls. Yeah, that's the goal.

Anyway, if I dig up some more information on this, I will definitely share with the squad. It seems like something like that, though. I don't know what the layout of Carn City is in that area. I don't know if there's a lot of farming down there. People have a lot of livestock. It's hard to say say truly but like you feel like if something that huge was out there then people will be like oh yeah this thing's like killing cattle this thing's killing which i think is that that's why they actually killed this thing because it was probably stocking

their livestock i mean that's what i mean you don't get that big by not taking down like hella livestock no no i mean that's just that's not an alpaca diet he not taking down like hella livestock. No, no. I mean, that's not an alpaca diet. He's taking down cows. He's taking down cows. I bet he takes down a bull. Good. Will the Beast could take down a bull back in the day. That's a bad cat, man.

Rest in peace to that cat. And Nick Cannon. What if Nick Cannon's even his real name i think it is i mean i don't know has nick cannon ever done anything that i'm like that has made you think to yourself like man that was sick no like i feel like if i went to his imdb i'd be like just devastated looking at all these he's a trash dresser too can i just say that i don't know he the thing he wears on his head all the time he wears he's stupid i don't know what they're called nicholas scott cannon he's like it looks like a dumb ass i'm i just

typed in nick cannon style and i'm scrolling through it's not great see yeah it's not great but he's got to be worth like a lot of money did you see did you see what eminem said in response like he wears a turban all the time i don't get it man no i did not see what he said well apparently so nick cannon dropped his second i repeat second diss track on eminem apparently there's been he's these diss tracks which i have not listened to because i don't Nick Cannon dropped his second, I repeat, second diss track on Eminem. Apparently, there's been these diss tracks, which I have not listened to because I don't support Nick Cannon. These diss tracks have also, per Twitter, have had 19 features on them. And also per Twitter, he's been the worst on all of them.

So Eminem, let's see what time this was last night said you mad bro stop lying on my dick i've never had a chauffeur you bougie fuck which i don't know if that's true eminem said that yeah and then he said i demand an apology nicholas you've made my gardener so jealous i don't know what that's referring to but it's doing numbies i got a question why is it who cares if he's had a chauffeur he should have a chauffeur i mean he's eminem he's eminem sold more records than probably he's probably top 10 all-time records sold i would say he's higher than top 10 i would say he's top nine you can't be higher than top 10 i bet streams wise as well big streams hella Hella streamed thick stream. Big old mountain lion nut stream.

I'm sorry. What's wrong with you? I'm just trying to emphasize that his stream game is strong. I'm trying to see. I'm trying to fact check this on the fly. I know he's sold a lot. Yeah, that's true. he's sold a lot yeah that's a great that's true he's sold a lot anyway i probably got to the bottom of that when you get to that point you have to have a chauffeur actually hopefully your chauffeur doubles as like a bodyguard dude our man's our man's is just outside the top 10 he's number 11 give me the

top 10 top 10 this is this is claimed sales, by the way. And it's on Wikipedia. I'm not sure when the last time they updated this. I'm not going to go through the history of that. But we're just going to take this as fact. Number one, the Beatles. Haven't heard of them. Makes sense. Elvis Presley.

He played for the Rangers for a little bit. Michael Jackson. King of Pop. Dylan's boy, Elton John. what's up bj madonna led zeppelin this next one is a current artist and i'm i'm pleasantly surprised because i'm a fan hold on can i guess yeah male or female female camille cabello no it's not camille cabello she'll get there i don't know i don't even all right now i don't know call me rude boy boy rihanna rihanna her name is rihanna bad girl

riri she's done anywhere between 250 million to 200 or 230 to 250 million uh hell yeah pink floyd is rounding out the top 10 and then number number 11, Eminem, who beat out Taylor Swift and someone who's relevant here, Mariah Carey. Mariah, fly through twice. Never understood that lyric. It was an Eminem thing. Doesn't that mean he had sex with her twice? Yeah, but fly through, that's weird.

What does that mean? Not important. He flew through it, dude. And that's what the that's what the um the crux of this nick cannon dis is he is he's protecting his uh now ex-wife because eminem dissed her like a year 20 years ago i don't know i mean outside of rihanna who has hit after hit after hit it's pretty impressive that eminem is he's he's top two in the last 30 years if you think about it probably a lot of those sales come from the eminem and rihanna collab oh yeah oh yeah

that was mutually beneficial to the squad i don't even listen to eminem anymore i was a big fan of the marshall mathers lp as many were i've shared my eminent tanks on here i don't need to go through that again oh you may as well we're talking about it i think he's very overrated and pretty pretty bad honestly you don't think he has bars oh he has he's a talented talented rapper but it's just at the end of the day it just sounds like shit so no i don't i don't agree with that necessarily that being said that most people don't agree with me and that's okay that being said i don't i don't listen to his music casually and i never really have outside of ninth grade when he dropped there was a time in my life where i did a lot i mean there was probably a time where i was listening to it i mean i remember

i remember this when My Name Is dropped, and I was just so confused. I was like, what am I watching? Who is this dude? I wasn't all the way in until Marshall Mathers LP, which had the heat on it for me. It was definitely his best album. When I first heard him say, i'm gonna kill you you don't

want to fuck with me i was like man i feel that eighth grade me was doing the crying meme with the headphones on yeah i didn't like a lot of his pop hits like stan dude no dido was on that she's she's a saint voice of an angel i just heard a door slam out in the uh parking lot here you think that's big game? Might be big game. Dude, I don't want his... I don't want flustered big game. No, dude, his hair's going to be everywhere when he walks in.

He had a phone call just now, didn't he? That's what he's telling us. I don't know. I'm going to have to check his call sheet. Hard to say. I'm going to start micromanaging him. Yeah, let's just start telling Brett what to do. Like, make him share his itinerary with us every day.

Just call him 8 a.m. every morning. What's up, man? What you working on? Yeah, what are you working on right now? Rise and grind, player. Cool, man. Keep me updated. Should we put him on probation?

Let's withhold his paycheck. Yeah. Let's not pay him. Let's take away his health insurance. Dude, you got to throw a little high heat at him. The thing about taking away his health insurance is he doesn't have any yet. So that'd be an easy one to take away. Oh, he's on his parents.

Must be nice. Must be nice being 25, dude. We're still waiting to get approved, by the way. Yeah, I could use health insurance. We got approved for a dental, which is big. Sick. That's crazy. I'm a big fan of having teeth.

I've been wanting to get veneers. Oh, really? I don't think it's going to cover veneers. What kind of bootleg plan is this? Good luck. Hey, can we... Basic dental plan. Is this a new sponsor alert, or is this a sponsor we've already done a read for?

It's one we've already done. Relatively new sponsor alert. Relatively new sponsor alert. Hey, do you guys know that as many as seven out of ten adults wish they played a musical instrument yeah you're looking at one right here can anyone in this room play a musical instrument currently you've seen me on the drums oh i did see you on the drums little drummer boy i used to be able to play brown eyed girl on the guitar a little bit i did see you putting down some keys the other day you were tickling the ivories if i could place

master one instrument it would definitely be the piano hondo p that's that's the ultimate answer from a guy who wants to pick up chicks the piano that's like the ultimate playboy like pick up chicks i just like it i love the fucking i do love the idea of like you sitting yeah christmas night dylan's sitting behind the piano just you know doing it more of a pickup chicks thing you got you got a hot babe sitting on the top of the piano singing. You got Parks just laying down bars. Imagine being the guy in a group.

Imagine being a guy in the house that's like, hey, can you play Boom? And it's just a popular song, whatever that everybody knows. You're like, oh yeah, I got this. Crocodile Rock. And you just nail it. Crocodile Rock seems very advanced.

Like that's tight. Elton's got, he's got skills. Elton's the GOAT. Well, dude, now you can do do this dylan didn't even write his own song with musician do you guys know musician is an online music education platform rethinking the way people learn music it's fun it's easy and it's affordable you can learn guitar piano bass ukulele even singing i might take the vocal lessons yeah you need to i might take the vocal lessons yeah you need to i might take the vocal lessons so you can sing crocodile rock while i'm on the keys you can do the vocals dude you crushed that was pretty good i don't want to ever see your face do that again i don't

need to do that anymore uh all you have to do is download the app to your desktop tablet and phone and just start playing it's really easy it's insanely easy if you don't believe it's like look up a video of someone doing it it's it's it sells itself musician is perfect whether you're just starting out or if you've been playing for years say you just fell off a little bit and you're like man i gotta i gotta brush up a bit get back on that horse musician player playing green day you'll even use you'll even learn music theory sheet sheet reading, and tablature. I don't even know what tablature is, and I can't wait to learn it.

That's how you learn how to play a song that you like. Like, I want to listen to or play Bulls on Parade. It tells you where to put your fingers. I'm going to learn ukulele, but only do Rage Against the Machine songs. Yeah, hella bar chords. My sister plays ukulele, so I'm going to pitch her on Musician to make sure that she's getting it done. it's designed to be fun and addictive kind of like

guitar hero rock band with real instruments gives you 24 7 access to step-by-step video tutorials from world-class educators it's just great so what if we got on there for guitar and brett was one of the educators that'd be so good he was just doing it as a side project that's actually why he's late today he was he had a lesson he was recording so he was doing kiss me by six pence none the richer it's the second time that's been brought up if you've been waiting to learn an instrument or simply wanting to get some help getting back into playing check out musician you can get an extended 14 day free trial of their premium package at Yousician.com slash Steam. That's unlimited lessons and unlimited songs on as many instruments as you want for two weeks.

Just go to Yousician.com slash Steam and start your free trial today. That's Y-O-U-S-I-C-I-A-N dot com slash Steam. Do you guys see who this time person of the year is? Can I guess? Yeah. I am going to say Hunter Biden. It was not Hunter Biden. Fuck.

I think he was on the short list, though. Second guess. I am going to say Luka Doncic. I don't think it was luca either all right go just tell me i don't think it was luca come on luca from what i could tell didn't even get athlete of the year which went to an entire team which fundamentally i'm against uh what team did it go to the blues the u.s women's national soccer team gold medal winners or that's just the athlete that's just the athlete of the year i mean i guess it's their award they can give it to whoever they want and but it's like when time gave the the person of the year to you to you to all of us when we were the people of the year

that was that was the biggest mail-in no offense to the mail-in podcast no that's that's okay that was such a punt. Yeah. You know, a lot of people forget that I had an article published in time before. I didn't forget that. I Googled you recently, and that was one of the top results. Yeah. So, you know, just reminding everyone that it actually happened. So were you the person of the year?

What are you trying to say? Will you do a dramatic reading of the article that you wrote? No. Wait, wasn't it? I can barely remember that. It was, I didn't pick the topic you should change your headline on linkedin from real estate professional to published time author need to know the the truth here is it published under your name or dorn is published under my name damn it absolutely yeah be so much funnier if it was roger dorn i didn't pick the

the topic and i didn't write the headline but everything else is you how did this come about they reached out to me some an editor for time magazine reached out and said hey would you like to tackle this uh topic for us i was like yeah and who do you work for again it's like time like yes i will do it i'll write whatever you want this is like probably back in the heyday of tf. So they gave you the topic? They gave me the topic. They gave you, did they give you your stance? No.

Oh. No, they said. Come on, this is journalism. She basically reached out and was like, what do you think about this? And I replied in her email. She goes, okay, do you want to write about it? I was like, yeah, fuck yeah, let's go. And I sent it to her.

She sent it back with some notes. Made a couple edits, sent it back. She goes, this is great. Let's run it. Did she say your grammar was impeccable? She didn't. No, she didn't need to. Did you pick up followers?

No. Well, I don't know. Maybe. This was probably like 2014. How was the virality of this piece? I don't think it did great. You know Kyle Bandujo wrote for BuzzFeed, went viral. He went more viral than you. Keep an eye out.ujo wrote for BuzzFeed, went viral. He went more viral than you.

Keep an eye out. Well, that's BuzzFeed. This is time. I'm going to be on his podcast soon. Just keep an eye out. Oh, wow. We recorded it last week. It was dope.

Damn. All right, so this person of the year. Mm-hmm. Male or female? It was, well, I'll say this. I'll say this. It was not the turn it up kid. Turn it up. That's bullshit. Turn it up which he got in too late i think to be fair like i think that he had has a good case

because in any situation i want him there yeah to turn like hey man i'm struggling right now turn it up turn it up all right he's the positive influence this world needs right now hop off the curb turn it up one of the if you've seen the extended cut of that video, he's just reading bars off of his phone, and one of the lines is something like, I pulled up with my Draco, which is a pretty high-powered gun, and it's just funny.

It's just funny seeing it. I don't know what a Draco is. He pulled up with a Draco. The only Draco I know is Malfoy. I think it's like an automatic something. I'm a big gun guy, as you can yeah extended cut those people whenever people bring up david ruff they talk about how much they love their guns yeah big second amendment guy it was uh the time person of the year was greta thunberg is that how you say? I don't know. When I looked it up,

apparently you pronounce it Thunberry? Thunberry? No. That's what it said. That's what it said. But I don't want to be like the Giada De Laurentiis who just like over-pronounces the things. So I'm going to go Greta Thunberg because that's how I say it in my head.

You're already bordered, not you, but everybody, it's already like over-pronounced like by saying tune instead of tune. Greta Thunberg. Greta. Are you aware of who this is, Dylan? Yes, I am. Where's she from? Sweden.

What's that name? Nordic country. It sounds Nordic. Greta is a Nordic name, right? I'm just learning that she has Asperger's. Really? I didn't know that. She's Swedish.

Yeah. It's in her Twitter bio. 16-year-old climate and environmental activist has Asperger's. Really? I didn't know that. She's Swedish. Yeah. It's in her Twitter bio. 16-year-old climate and environmental activist with Asperger's. Hashtag climate strike. Hashtag Friday's fortune. Friday's for future. Sorry. I like Friday's fortune.

Payday, baby. I can't read very well. I mean, she knows how to go viral. She travels by boat everywhere. She's a badass. Yeah. I mean, imagine being 16 years old and having, you know, just being bold enough to go after shit like this.

Like, it's time, man. She was born in 2003. This isn't really a criticism of her. It's more of a criticism about the people who want to put her, people who use anyone who's younger for like political purposes i i generally am weary of like okay and it and it's not even on like it doesn't matter which which party you're in or which which side you're on it's just it's still a little weird i don't how old is she 16 yep 16 yeah that that's a little odd i don't know because you're really putting them out there for a lot of a lot of shitty trolling

a lot of criticism oh and they're also 16 she i hope she's not i hope she's not going through her own mentions mentions right i hope not like it just it just does not seem like something she should be doing. But that being said, I think she's mentally stronger than I am, I think. So she probably has a better time going through mentions than I would. She became famous, of course, because she gave like a mean look to the president, to Donald Trump when he walked by. Well, she was famous before that, wasn't she?

Was she? Yeah. I'd never heard of her until that moment. I don't know. That was kind of her... That was her big moment. She had been known before that, but that was like...

Okay. For those wondering, the Draco is a semi-automatic pistol with a 10-round or 30-round capacity detachable magazine, which is fucking powerful. Damn, dude.

That's your hip-hop tip of the day. Clack, clack. Is that what you used to spray the block back in the day we don't talk about that oh okay kind of is it that spraying the block in your finances you just don't talk about you there publicly i was actually using a spider compact paintball gun oh yeah that makes. That makes more sense. Less lethal, which is nice. Less lethal, more fun. Yeah. Still painful. Oh, sure.

Not fun to get shot with one of those. Oh, it stings. But you get to walk away from it. You're not going to die. Yeah. You know what I mean? One time, I was playing with a guy once, and somebody on the ground shot him, and it went up in his mask and hit him in the chin.

Oh, yeah? It was like, how did that even fucking happen? And it left this welt for days. Paintball is something I don't know if I would go back and play, because I feel like it didn't hurt as bad then, and now I would really not be able to handle the pain. Oh, yeah. It's like anything when you're older, I guess.

Everything hurts as you get older, man. It hurts more. Yeah, that's a depressing statement yeah damn sure it does i'm trying to find like the rest of the the people that were like named in this year's thing i'm just having a really hard time with it did you know former winners of time person of the year include putin stalin Dude, it makes you think. Are you kidding me? Those are just three. That's not saying that they...

Zuckerberg, too, if you want to add people to that list. Wow, you're putting him in that. Was Saddam Hussein given the key to Detroit or something like that? Yes, he was. Wait, wait, wait. In the 80s?

This is pre-Gulf War I, right? Yes, he was. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. In the 80s? Like, this is pre-Gulf War I, right? This is, yeah, this is before. Saddam should not have a key to your city. No, no, he's one of the guys that you don't want to have a key to your city. I don't want Saddam to show up. Yeah, yeah. So, okay.

So Detroit's got some good ones. Let's see. Dallas gave a key to the city to michael vick weirdly so detroit detroit uh gave a key to the city to santa that's fine i want him having the key to my he doesn't need a key though he just goes through the chin yeah he's magic but it's more of a formality yeah it's kind of like hey santa like you're getting older don't risk anything here's a key just come through the front door. Yeah, just enter through the front. Stevie Wonder got one from Detroit. Fine with me. And then in 1980, Saddam Hussein, Iraqi president at the time,

was awarded a key to the city by Mayor Coleman Young for having donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to a local church. Do you think Coleman Young wants that back? Do you think Coleman Young sent him a DM and was like, hey, bro, can I get that key back? Interesting that he would give money to a church, right? I believe it was a Christian church. It was a church or a mosque.

No, I believe it was a church. It says church on here. Saddam was largely secular, I believe, in his rule. And then in 2006, the next key of the city given was to Jerome Bettis. The bus. They went from Saddam to the bus. I'm fine with that. Kwame Kilpatrick gave that one,

presumably before he was behind bars. Why would the bus get a key to Detroit? Because he's from Detroit. That being said, I'm not sure why you would give him one. He got one before Steve Eisenman got one. But Eisenman did get one. And then in 2010,

dude, what are they doing? Someone needs to be in charge of this. They're handing out keys to everybody. In 2010, Elmo. Oh, come on. Elmo. He got one. Did Elmo just step into the stew?

That was actually really good. That was you. Do it again. And then Big Sean got it. And then in June 2018, the Jackson 5 got it. I'm going to tell you this right now. My biggest issue. Michael Jackson got a key to the city.

In 2018, Michael Jackson? got it i'm gonna tell you this right now my biggest michael jackson's got a key to the city 2018 michael jackson i mean it says the members michael tito jackie germaine and marlin were honored with keys to the city thank you so much for the key can i come in now uh it's creepy as fuck why come join us you're being ignorant so come join us michael elmo hey elmo i'll take all you oh my god michael jackson oh my god michael jackson santa jerome bettis elmo and saddam hussein all have keys to detroit i want to say this my biggest issue with what detroit has done is not saddam it is big sean because big sean notoriously terrible big sean big time big time stinks. I'll say this. I'll say this. Detroit rides for Big Sean.

I'm not saying it's right, but people like him a lot. He has a couple bangers. I've never gone deep into his catalog, but... His verse on Click is the first verse, and it's the only one I fast forward through. I don't want to hear about his spa day. That's what I want to hear about. More rappers need to be about his spa day that's what i want to hear about more rappers need to be rapping about spa days uh fun fact though about saddam hussein you know he was um at the time

this may make more sense he is a he was a ally to the united states in the 80s early 80s yeah so it's not that egregious like they didn't know he was gonna invade kuwait and take their oil and set their oil fields on fire and then eventually be hung in a video that went viral which was weird if you saw that i did i don't know if i ever watched it i did it was uncomfortable dylan used to just be on live leak all the time just watching that shit all the time everybody has one live leak friend live leaks League's a dark place, man. Hey, the final key to the city in Michigan. Sault Ste. Marie.

You guys familiar with Sault Ste. Marie? No. It's home of the Lake Superior State Lakers. Sick. Okay. In 2007, they gave KISS the band keys to the city. They should not have keys to the city. I want to know who spearheaded that. Who went to the city council meeting and was like, I think we should give it to the city. They should not have keys to the city. I want to know who spearheaded that,

who like went to the city council meeting. It was like, I think we should give it to kiss. Yeah. Yeah. Knights and Satan's service. Wasn't that what people thought it stood for back in the day? Is that,

it sounds familiar. Yeah. That was like the, the rumor. What's that movie about the kids who go to a KISS concert? Detroit Rock City or something? Like the whole premise is they go to a KISS concert. I remember seeing it in theaters. Detroit Rock City?

Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't terrible. I actually tossed it on recently. And I only watched it for a few because I had to go do something. But yeah, I want to revisit that movie. I looked it up. An Austin, only one person this could be

wrong too musician i i'm gonna say this is wrong i think this list only has notable people not like local politicians that we would never know about but stevie ray vaughn no this this was done in 1901 oh was it president william William McKinley? It was. Thought so. Did you just look that up? Yeah, I did. I did. William McKinley, huh?

Dallas has Michael Vick and Dirk. Why Michael Vick? He got a lot of shit for the Michael Vick one. What's his connection to Dallas? It was 2011 when this happened, too. He either donated to a youth center or spoke. I think it was basically an excuse for a photo op. And the mayor at the time, I think it was Mayor Pro Tem Dwayne Carraway, who's now in prison, by the way. This was post dogfighting.

He's now in prison. This was post dogfighting. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I just don't know if I want Mike having a key to my city. Weird move. You got to think we'll be up for a key at some point for Austin.

I don't see why we wouldn't get one. I don't know if Will and I have lived here long enough. But honestly, it's kind of embarrassing that you don't have one yet. Yeah, I don't think that's... You were born here, right? That's not necessarily true. Yeah, it was. Just don't know why they're snubbing you.

Shouts to Seton Hospital, man. Big ups. South or north? Or no, they only have one, right? There's one. I'm mixing them up. I'm mixing up Sally's workplace. Are you being so specific because you're trying to throw off our scent?

Like trying to say that you were actually born on this earth? Believe it or not, Dave, I was, yeah. Right here in Austin. Do you guys want to know who the final five were yes i'll tell you once i uh pause the ad blocker on today's show's site so i can actually access the uh the information the apparently this is the short list for times people to hear uh house speaker nancy pelosi you familiar with her okay she scares me articles of impeachment uh the next person i'm not sure if you've heard of him donald trump president do your trump impression one of y'all i don't have one oh it's huge oh dude that Huge. Oh, dude, that was good. That was pretty good. You sounded a lot like him. China.

China. China. Number three, the whistleblower. Snowden. Says the anonymous CIA officer. Bub Rub and Lil Sis. Okay. Okay. Then our girl, Greta.

And then number five, the Hong Kong protesters. I think they got it right. If they gave it to Nancy Pelosi, I feel like everyone would be like, oh, okay. Do we really, like, does she need it? I feel like based on their previous, the precedent they've set

with like giving it to infamous figures and people who may not be like what they see is good, like Putin. Trump feels like the one. Everything is about Trump. They will give it to people that aren't universally loved.

I think it's the people that have a massive effect on the world. I feel like Trump. Did he already get it once or something? He had to have gotten one, right? Hard to say. I've gotten it many times.

This is my Trump impression. It's not good. Such a huge honor. Do we need to give out the circling back person of the year award? How about a key to the studio? Yeah, they can have a key to the new studio before Brett gets his key. Do you have any nominees? Does Brett even work here?

What is he doing? I don't know. I'm getting worried about him. I feel like he was in good spirits yesterday. He was out there like, yeah, we're going to make $10 million next year. Holy shit. I don't think he said that.

And then now it's like, not even here. It's no call, no show. Damn. New guy. New hire Brett. So he does not get the key to the studio. My first nominee for the circling back person of the year is...

The Cirkeys? Yeah, the Cirkeys. Is the little kid smoking a cigarette in that commercial with the mom. That's a good one. That kid's tight. The mom was so encouraging, too. She's lighting it for him. It was always hard to work lighters as a little kid.

Your fingers didn't have the strength to press down. The visuals from that commercial are just next level awesome. Kids just getting it. I liked it when your friend would always show you how to like rig the lighter so it shot the huge flame. I used to do that. Yeah, that was sick. I was like, dude, that flame is so much bigger. You had to take like the little plastic piece and like bring it over the top.

Oh, man, you could get that thing blazing. That's how you knew you were fucking with a real smoker. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. You could get that thing blazing. That's how you knew you were fucking with a real smoker. Oh, yeah. My next nominee is going to be Luke P. I don't think that's a good one. Wait, which Luke was he? He's the crazy one.

He wasn't Tequila Luke. No, that's Luke S. Well, so my third nominee is Luke S. We need to get a bottle of that fucking tequila. Or vodka, whatever he was doing. Is it Ali-A? People forget that he was the first cameo we had.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Wait, are you serious? People are saying that we should be up for Pearson in the Air for starting this dope-ass media company. Yeah, I've heard people say that. It's weird that we weren't on the short list who else is up for a cirky uh i don't know if you've heard of him but he's definitely in the mix he's definitely in the mix not to be confused with i'm gonna fuck with you kid i'm gonna fuck with you that kid that kid is not getting a key to my

studio let me tell you this right now no as someone who followed his instagram for about 24 hours i will not be giving him a key to the studio nice kid i'm sure but just puts off a vibe that you know yeah i agree i agree little esco i agree i've learned i've learned it's better to let the viral video people just exist in their own world and to not enter their world. We like to touch on their world. Circle back on their world.

We don't enter the world. That's fair. I think my final nominee for me, at least, you guys can throw people's names in the hat too. I think my final nominee for me, at least. You guys can throw people's names in the hat, too. I think Clay. Flounder on the fly? Flounder on the fly. I think I got to throw his name in there as well.

I'll give him a key to the stew. I just can't believe we landed him for the Star Sabers game next month. That's huge. Breaking news? No one's talking about the Star Sabers game. Smash that breaking news button. Haven't we talked about this? That's the breaking news button, Dylan.

That's not the breaking news button. That means breaking news. I guess I'll share. Yeah, we're going to a Star Sabers game on a Thursday in January. The what? January what? 16th? 16th. 16th?

Something like that. Keep an eye out for the next night. What? Keep an eye out. DFW folks, anyone within driving distance of DFW. Emphasis on D. Or flying. Whatever.

You can fly there if you want. I'm not saying to get your permanent marker out and mark your calendar, but get a pencil out. Dude, fuck it. Get a pen. Get an erasable pen. Oh, yeah. Those are tight. Get an erasable pen. So it's in ink, but you could still change it you can always get rid of it yeah you can always get rid of it yeah we don't have a location yet we kind of do it's

gonna be like an unofficial thing well it'll be official for us but the restaurant might be surprised is that a restaurant or just a bar? A bar. Oh. Or both. I don't know. I mean, I just said... I've only been once. I just said restaurant. I didn't mean that. Okay.

It's essentially a bar. I'm very excited. What's our plan? We need to get up there the night of the Stars game. We need to go eat before. Do you have your fit picked out for the Stars game already? Jersey? I will be rocking a sweater.

Hockey sweater? Correct. That's a... Old school hockey guys like myself, we be rocking a sweater. Hockey sweater? Correct. That's an old school hockey guy like myself. We call it a sweater. But jersey to lay people. Like me. Do you want a jersey? We can probably get that.

If I were to get one, I'd get a Sabres one. Yeah, I'm getting a Palafontaine old school jersey. Well, you know I'm a Golden Knights guy. That is true. Do we need to go to a Golden Knights Red Wings game? Yes.

These two are getting all the fun. In Vegas. I feel like Vegas would be the play. You think I won't go, bitch? Is that what you think?

Look at me. You've still never been to Vegas. So there's a lot of chatter out there that 2020 will be the first time I ever go to Vegas. I haven't heard any of that chatter.

Can I go with you? I mean, yeah. Okay. I'm thinking about going for March Madness. It's been way too long since I've been to Vegas. Fun fact, the Red Wings and the Golden Knights do play in Vegas in March. Let's go. Let's go. March 21st. When does March Madness start? It the first it's like it starts in march it's like mid it's too early it's all yeah baby we'll just stay the

entire time dude do a week in vegas yeah washed vegas week yikes dude dylan's the dude when you go to vegas like you're with your boys he's always saying saying, Vegas, baby. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, look at all the beautiful babies out here. Man, so many babies. You're just a big, scary bear. What? It's Vince Vaughn's line from the movie, really shittily done by me. Yeah, that was really bad.

Oh, you've never even seen the movie. Pretty embarrassing. Yes, I have. Oh, okay, I'm sure you have. What do I wear to a game that I have no, like, horses? White polo. Just dress like you're going to dinner dog just dress fratty yeah but it's hockey arenas are cold player wear a wool bomber wear that uh yeah oatmeal i'm sure you will wear an oatmeal something or other oh i could wear

this it's green for the stars catch me in a wool bomber what are the sabers colors no one knows blue yellow yeah they reverted back. Those other uniforms they had were so shitty. Let's go Sabres, man. Hey, so we might have an extra ticket for someone since Brett might be dead. Since Brett doesn't work here. Brett may have quit Wash Media already. So if you...

Email dave at washmedia.com if you would like to put your name in the hat for that ticket. Yeah, highest bidder gets it. That's fine. I keep the money now. Do we need to give Brett any cut of that money? No. It can be a severance.

He gets 1%. He's only worked here for like two months. He gets 1%. I know, but I love Brad. I feel like if we had to get rid of him right now, he could have a severance, right? Eh. We'd definitely shake hands and try to leave on good terms.

We could just get him a gift certificate to Barley Bean, his favorite coffee shop. I'll tell you what, I would buy him exactly one beer. I'd be like, hey man, let me buy you a beer. I just hope he's around. I'm just worried. I think he's going to buy him exactly one beer. I'll be like, hey man, let me buy you a beer. I just hope he's around. I'm just worried. I think he's going to be okay. Okay.

He's a big boy. Okay. To pull back the curtain, we kind of thought he would bust in mid-podcast and we get some tent out of this. I don't think it's going to happen. It turns out the content is just us contemplating his demise. I know.

Which is fine. With every minute that passes, I get more and more nervous. I mean, oh wow. I hope he didn't get caught up in a bomb cyclone. That would suck. He probably got rear-ended on the way to the office. By another car. You get what I'm saying here?

Yeah, I understand what that means. Yeah, to confirm that, that's the 17th of January is the potential meetup. Okay. But D-Town, is that what they call it? Yeah, Dallas, DFW. Triple D.

The big D. What's triple D? I'm trying to do it at the Wild Wings in Cedar Hill, actually, the meetup. Is that the one that you've gotten not one but two grams off in front of correct shout out to kj that's the same b-dubs though yes correct i'm just i'm just

confirming there's also an applebee's in cedar hill we could hit we could do tibideaus in duncanville what's your what's your uh what's your wing order if i'm hungry i usually go uh is it lemon pepper and then i'll do i'll do the dry rub yeah i like to do a dry and a wet a moist rub don't know no one's calling i'll do like original hot okay i don't like my wings like super hot when i'm in public because i don't want people seeing me cry no i don't want to i don't want to sweat in public while eating food that's just that's honestly my biggest goal in life is to not sweat in public and i would rather not definitely not do it at while i'm eating if i could have if there was a list of superpowers in front of me

and it was like all right you can fly you can have x-ray vision or you cannot sweat in public i would choose not sweat in public i'm flying dog that's the best one think of all the bugs you'd get in your eyes and shit i'm not worried about that wear goggles dude yeah there's ways around that nah dude oh i'll be i'll be swooping in and out of places i'd be wearing a paintball mask be flying around wearing a dylan will be wearing like ski goggles and like and a helmet that's way too high on his head. I'm not going to dress like a gaper when I go flying. Oh, look.

It's Gaper Man. The Gaped Crusader? Yeah. Someone photoshopped the Gaped Crusader. We don't need to do that. Why is it called a gaper? I'm not comfortable with that. Because it's the gap between your goggles and the helmet.

And your helmet. Oh, so it's like a thing. It's a rookie move. So my entire goal for this ski trip is to not be a gaper yeah i will trust me trust me if you are rolling with us from here yeah if you are rolling with us we will do everything in our power to make sure that you are not a gaper what if y'all did the opposite that would be messed up i don't know the difference no because dude i don't want you to tank us y'allall are going to be skiing ahead of me. I'm going to be back in the back of the mountain. Way behind me.

No one goes to the back of the mountain. I'm going to go to the dark side of the mountain. I'm going to the south face. You're just going to stay in the trees the entire time? Just fucking hitting moguls and stuff? Do people do that? Do you have gloves and shit and goggles? You need to borrow from someone.

Don't buy. I have none of that stuff. That shit's expensive. I thought I could rent. I do think you should get some gloves. Having a nice pair of gloves is a good thing. Like ski gloves? Yeah.

When's he going to use them again? He might not go for another four or five years. Yeah, but you can get a nice pair of ski gloves for a reasonable price. It's not going to break your back. I'm going to hit up Play It Again Sports or Sun and sun and ski sports i don't even know what that is there are places that might have old i'm just saying if you have a buddy who goes skiing a lot hey come borrow your gloves for the weekend it'd be time i need i need to clarify that they're not gapers glove you can't have gaper gloves well i mean Maybe you can have some dorky looking ones

Noted I think my parents got rid of all my ski stuff Because I went back and tried to find my goggles And stuff like that Nowhere to be found If anybody here listening Works for a ski company Makes stuff and they want to sponsor me

If Smith Goggles wants to sponsor the pod they're more than welcome to i got some smiths is that the cool brand it's one of the decent brands yeah i mean i might not like fancy you're a big sam smith guy though i'm pretty basic why you got him ski not a big sam smith guy no do you do mirror tent like the reflective i don't know my life i bought some really sick ones like the winter before I moved down here and it turned out to be a huge waste of money since I moved to Texas. Mirror tint's for borders.

Okay. Yeah, but I like having that crossover swag. What about the dudes who put like the skeleton skull rag around their face? Those are borders. You don't need that, dog. That's Tiger Woods. Yeah, exactly.

Those guys are punks, man. Actually, your goal now is just dressing like Tiger Woods dressed. I dog that's tiger woods yeah exactly those guys are punks man actually your goal now is just dressing like tiger woods dressed i think that's your move wasn't he also missing a tooth at that time yes what the fuck or he had like that weird tooth i swear he was missing why didn't he come out with like a a gold tooth imagine a gold tooth tiger winning the like the masters i like that gold two tiger that we... The tiger was sick. It was tight. That tiger kind of alpha'd that.

Our tiger. Yeah. Do you think Roback has any gloves? Or do they just have literally everything else you would ever need in the world? I don't think they're in the ski glove game yet. Are you aware that we have merchandise up on Roback? I am, yeah.

Do the people know? Yeah. And did you know that our promo code, if you're a first-time purchaser on roback that our promo code randy 20 actually works for that stuff wow it makes you think hey look who it is oh look who look who's here in the road look who walked in he's even wearing a beautiful roback pullover wow we thought you might quit or something, dude. We were worried about you, Brett. People were calling you no call, no show.

Turns out it's not Thursday. Yeah. Were you just doing the... I was. Does that mean you closed the deal? It does mean I closed the deal. Fuck yeah, dude. That's how you enter the room.

Are we doing a rowback rate or not? Yeah, I mean, we are. If you want to get the dope-ass pullover that Brett's wearing right now, you can go to roback.com and use randy 20 for 20 off your first purchase and yeah if you want to get our swag it's it's it's easy it's easy sorry i need to remember the url i couldn't remember it go to roback.com slash collections class slash circle i will put that link in the description of this episode. Just FYI for all the people out there wondering. That is a good looking quarter zip.

Thank you. You sell some reeds, Brett? I did. Okay. Dude, you are out of breath right now. Sorry. It's okay. Big time.

Hey, maybe we can't announce this, but it didn't happen to be like Smith Goggles, did it? Or a ski brand that wanted to sponsor? Did you get a Smith Goggles deal? No, but I'm getting absolutely railed on Instagram. Ew. No, well, with like... Yeah, what's his name?

With like ski goggle ads. It's all up in my stories right now. They know, man. They know we got a dope trip coming up. They do. I think they listen to the podcast. If you see any sick deals, let me know because, again, I don't have any of that equipment.

You've got to have goggles on. You can't be the no-goggles. No, no, no. I'm going to have goggles. Or just go like Oakley's. Ooh, wraparounds? Go Oakley Blades. Do people do wraparounds? Yeah, they look really... Unless you do it, but don't wear a helmet.

My goal is just to not gape. You're going to gape gape dylan's gonna gape it's gonna be gross i'm gonna gape just for the it's gonna be fucking terrible i think it's funny if you're a gaper and you're like pretty caught you're a good skier i think so but if you're a gaper and you're not you don't know what you're doing like me just go go headband and oakley's that'd be tight i have a sick headband you can wear actually i'm gonna this. I don't want to get chapped. I'm not wearing a helmet. I just decided. I am.

I will be wearing a helmet. Catch me wearing a helmet. I am because like if I'm going to like hit the rails and shit. Yeah, that's true. Like I don't want, you know what I mean?

Yeah, you want a Sonny Bono it. Jesus. He makes a fair point, but it's not a point that I would have made. Don't want it to happen. You don't want a Christopher Reeve either. Another fair point, but it's not a point that I would have made. Don't want it to happen. You don't want a Christopher Reeve either. Another fair point.

Wasn't that horseback? Yeah, it was. We're going horseback riding too. Dude, that'd be sick. Winter horseback riding in Colorado? I've done it. It's tight. What, David?

Was Sonny Bono not wearing a helmet? I don't know. Probably not. Also an Eminem lyric. Hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono. Oh, no. That's an Eminem lyric. Hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono. Oh no. That's an Eminem lyric. Not me.

He said it. Not me. You didn't spit that bar? No. We talked a lot of Eminem. I could see you having an Eminem phase. Like high school football was peak. Like not afraid.

You just weren't afraid at that time in your life? Mom's spaghetti, you know, yeah. I'm not going to do it again. Recite the rap lyric by Brett. People like that. I just Googled, was Sonny Bono wearing a helmet? He didn't wear a helmet, but a skiing accident six days earlier

resulting in the death of Michael Kennedy, son of Robert F. Kennedy, had prompted Sonny and Mary to discuss helmets, but he opted not to. Does anybody have a worse death rate than the Kennedys do? No. I mean, like 40% of them die in some horrific, like first person or first world problem accident, right?

Like private jet skiing accident. Presidential assassination. Presidential assassination. I think that's the most first world way to die. Being assassinated as president. As the president of a first world nation. I'm going to go private jet over that. Sorry.

Okay. That's fine. Yeah. Horseback's up there too. Hey, do you know what Brett's here just in time for? This weekend in fun. Hit me. Man. Do we need theme music for this weekend and fun probably we need a sponsor for it actually brent working on it okay cool cool cool cool cool um i will start

so today is my sister hayley's birthday dude shouts to hayley big ups to hayley happy birthday love you friday dinner i got parks we're gonna go dinner. I don't know where yet. She's going to decide. A little birthday dinner. I can't wait. A little celly. Saturday and Sunday, I have nothing except watching my championship matchup in fantasy football. I thought you were going to say your kid. No, I don't have Parks this weekend, unfortunately.

But yeah, I have nothing this weekend. If y'all are down to do something, I come in. Golf, maybe? I don't know. I don't know. Don't even bring it up. I think the weather's going to be nice. Yeah, we're not golfing.

It's not happening. Yes, we are, bitch. No, it's not. Let's play golf, Brett. I haven't gone yet, so yeah. Let's play. I will book a fucking tee time. Book it, bitch.

And that is my weekend in fun. That doesn't sound that fun. Okay. You're not invited to golf then. I feel like I am. I don't know. I feel like I am. What are you doing, Dave?

I'm just chilling looking at this video of this big fucking whale jumping out of the ocean. Did you see that? That's a huge whale. Is that a blue whale? Looks like a sperm.

You know a blue whale is the largest mammal on earth. Yeah, Dave. Everyone fucking knows that. I did a book report on that in like third grade. Have you guys talked about the mountain lion that Dylan's family? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Come on, man. You missed it because you were asleep. What are you doing, dog? I wasn't asleep. I was actually just sitting on my couch. What's your problem? I had to go at 8 o'clock.

What's your problem? Sorry, I had to do business, Dylan. We get it. You went hard at the oak last night. I had to do business. You caught the fever. We understand. You caught the fever.

Jeez, oh, Pete. Anyway. So, yeah, yeah this weekend i'm chilling so that's it no i got no plans for real though i'll be hanging out damn i had a thing i was supposed to go to today but it looks like it's not going to happen anymore and by thing i mean i was going to go uh buddy's got a little place out in lano honey creek ranch dylan you know lano is this near your place oh yeah we're going to go do a little midweek deer hunt but schedules just aren't they're kind of conflicting randy's got to go to training tomorrow morning and i just don't think i'm gonna be able to swing it. I'll be here. I would like to play golf.

I'm looking at T-Times as we speak, David. It's just something I like to do. Play the game. Sick. I'm looking at you. I don't know. I'll be honest. I have not had a weekend this wide open in a long time. We should take Sally to a nice dinner.

I got news. Sally ain't going to be in town. We should go in her honor. Let's get pints with the lads. Yeah. It could be a low-key weekend at Will. We'll see. I didn't want to say this, but my wife's tied up Friday night.

Nice, dude. You're busy, too, I guess. She's going to the Nutcracker. That's funny. Okay, so you're really busy. I guess? She's going to the Nutcracker. That's funny. Okay, so you're really busy. I was wondering who's going to take the bait. I tried. So you're not the Nutcracker?

All right. Don't high-five that, Brett. Your boy. That was funny. You've been here eight minutes. Special shout-outs to Sally. She passed her boards today, so she officially uh going to be a crna shout out to that testing

that gives you immediate uh returns on whether you passed or failed yeah she took her boards today and by doing this apparently you just go in take a thing on a computer and then you go up to the front desk and they hand you a piece of paper that's just folded in half that says whether or not you passed or failed

so does she know her score no nope it just says it just says this is the preliminary result you have passed that's it you know the bar you have to wait many months oh yeah and then check a website that never works a check a website that in texas they tell you like about when and they always do it like two days early and then your buddy calls and tells you that's what happened with me when sally's little brother did it like they didn't release it two days early and then your buddy calls and tells you. That's what happened with me. When Sally's little brother did it, they didn't release it two days early so everyone was freaking out.

It's fucking stupid. But she's going on a girl's trip this weekend because she passed. Where to? Chicago. Ever heard of it? Good for her. Parlor Pizza.

Shouts. How do you know about Parlor Pizza? When I went to Chicago for work this summer. Oh, that's our spot, dude. I think I sent you guys photos. Bloody Mary Bar? No, it's kind of our place, though this summer oh that's our spot dude i i think i sent you guys photo bar no it's kind of our place though oh that's i love that kind of our place the pepperoni with like the jalapeno oil on it uh she needs to go hit bottle blonde since we never made it she's a finish do that the douchebag crawl is not complete till she hits bottle blonde or one

of us does so yeah if you see a redhead with pale skin just shivering in chicago this weekend it's probably sally oh yeah it's cold as fuck it's kind of a weird spot for a girl's trip oh they have a friend that lives up there so they're gonna all go see her they're doing some very uh chicago-y things and i'm kind of jealous i'm not gonna lie i looked at tickets to see if i could uh go stay with my friends up there for the weekend but not gonna do that to rosie but other than that yeah your boy i got I got hell of soccer to watch every morning. But, I mean, outside of that, I'm pretty free. You know what I'm excited for this weekend, Dave?

To throw, like, Golf Channel back on. Well, President's Cup? Yeah. Dude, we got primetime golf tonight. I call it the Prez Cup. Do you? Yeah. I got a couple options here for golf.

We can talk about it after we record. But just to have, like, Golf Channel on as your sports center, you know,. I got a couple options here for golf. We can talk about it after we record. But just to have Golf Channel on as your sports center for hours at a time. I've been getting hella brandle. Have you? Yeah. I haven't thrown it on yet. I had a big Sabres game to watch last night. I was waiting for the pairings to drop last night but I went to bed.

This international team's talking some shit. Yeah. I mean, when you have Patrick Reed on your team, you're just going to talk shit about that team. Did y'all see the video of JT mocking him? No. He goes, hey, P. Reed, is this how you do it? And he did like the...

Oh, yeah. I love that. Okay. He was doing it in a joking manner. Is he kind of normalizing what he did? Like what Patrick Reed did? You know what I mean? I know he's in an awkward spot because he's his teammate,

and he can't be like, hey, P. Reed, fuck you. Had the roles been reversed and Justin Thomas did that, he's getting a pass all day compared to Reed. But Reed has the resume of being a dickhead, so it's hard to give him the benefit of the doubt in any situation at this point. I have a feeling Reed's going to win the Masters this year, and it's going to suck.

I will say I do love a good villain story. Yeah. So if he went out and just balled in the President's Cup... It is kind of tough. I mean, golf needs a villain. This President's Cup is way more intriguing because of it, because of tough i mean golf needs a villain this president's cup is way more intriguing because of it because of what he did who's that tennis player that australian tennis player who's like just a dickhead oh i know this dude like a darker skin guy he's like he's just the most

pompous asshole on the court and i kind of love it. It's fun to watch. Was he something? Was he the dude trolling the crowd at the US Open? Yeah. I'm forgetting his name. He went pretty far. I think he got to the semis. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm a big fan of semis. Trucks. And truck drivers. Semi-annual sales. You know who else is a fan of trucks and truck drivers? Andrew Yang. Andrew you know who else is a fan of the of uh trucks and truck drivers andrew yang andrew yang thousand bucks a month yep catch me with my pockets overflowing

did y'all see that thing that was going around twitter that graphic it was bar graph and it was like athletes from like the year like 1990 to current and how much money they've made and it would like move it was like a fluid graphic and it showed like tiger was a top making 100 million for this many years oh it's one of those like what's the biggest company in the world and it's like a race yes yeah it was sick but floyd mayweather comes out of nowhere and he just goes to the top like He became the highest paid athlete in the world in a year. Oh shit. That'd be nice. Hey, do we have any breaking news from Brett?

Nobody saw that. I got nothing. I just kind of walked in. Garrett Cole, big signing for the Yankees. Sabres beat the Blues 5-2 last night. Jack Eichel, two goals. Stars 2-0. Big night for the Stars. beat the Blues 5-2 last night. Jack Eichel, two goals. Stars, 2-0. Stars,

a big night for the Stars. In the post-Jim Monty area. But that's, I mean, you gotta, like, you should bet on the Stars just like a batch against the wall

like emotional game. So that's what everybody did last night. I was hoping it would get to be like 4-0 and we got to finally see P.K. Subban and Jamie Benn

just fucking throw down. That would've been tight. Because Subban, he was asking for it. Back-to-back penalties. It was a scrappy... I kept seeing highlights from it. It was people were just...

Yeah, it was hella scrappy. Will wanted it to be 5-0 so he could sing that song. 5-1-5-0. That's what we call. I don't know what you're talking about. I thought you were making a police reference. He was doing a country will joke. Who's the recording artist behind that song?

5-1-5-0. Somebody called it Popo. Oh, yeah. That's a country song? That's a deep cut. It's just older. I don't know who sings that. You didn't sing it with very much moxie.

No, I'm not a singer. I am. I sang Crocodile Rock earlier while you were out. Did you? It wasn't terrible. Crushed it. Also, obviously, did a pretty good Elmo impersonation. Don't know how we got there but elmo has a key to the city that's how we got there yeah elmo has a key to detroit anybody in saratoga springs that we need to know

has a key to the city uh dotty pepper okay yeah i like dotty springs high school grad dotty's very nice the drummer from train no that. That is no. No. That's a reach. Scott Underwood. And Anthony Weaver, former DN for the Ravens and Texans, I believe. Cool, man. That's all we got. Cool.

Detroit's got better ones. They have Saddam Hussein, Elmo, and Big Sean. Did Eminem get one? Did we say that? He's probably a little controversial how did big sean get one over eminem well eminem yeah kid rock and eminem are sitting there like yeah we're probably not getting these keys at this point huh no i'm surprised kid rock doesn't have one i'm not he's from the romeo did you ever

address his uh recent statement to oprah have you have we have we read that statement no i feel like it was over the holiday or something yeah he uh the fuck after kid rock's kind of like you know falling falling out with everything he decided to post an instagram that's just him in the studio two middle fingers in the air and it says all this bs going on has got my blood pumping and it's only more songwriting fuel for a new record and tour in 2021 i am beholden to no one no no corporate sponsors no label and i'm gonna go the fuck off you haters better be shaking in your boots to support my fans i will not let you down i guarantee this will be my best record and

tour ever devil without a cause dot dot, dot, dot, Kid Rock. I thought that was Papa John for a second. No, Kid Rock is not in the pizza category. You know what Kid Rock does, Dave? He's never been in the pizza business. He doesn't know the product. He doesn't have a passion for people. Do you know what Kid Rock does?

He just bounces haters. I believe he told Oprah to SSD. He might have. He might have and he looks like he had a few sodas that night you gotta think he was tipping back some badass beers and he might have had one too many he didn't look great um and it was very awkward he didn't get the reaction he was looking for what do you think kid rock's panic order is badass beer or miller light course i don't know i think he's a Miller Lite guy. I could see High Life. Yeah.

High Life and a shot of Jack. He does have a song called Low Life, Live in the High Life. I'm not sure if it's about the champagne and beers, but it could be. He's probably got a pretty significant rider, you think? Like the Case of High Life, Bottle of Something, Jack. Dylan's been checked out for about seven minutes. He's in the tea time world. Come on, dude. did you even intro him dude to all the people out there dylan shivery give it up hey

glad to be here i'm excited about today's guys i'm excited about this one good to have you for whoever's keeping track of that that was 107 around the 32nd mark of the 107 minute in the podcast wow you know i saw a kid rocking like 99 at the bronco bowl in dallas rest in peace and it was right after it was like right after bull god the single drop yeah he was a great show back then he still is like i will say this i don't necessarily support the words that come out of his mouth all the time but he puts on a hell of a show what was his uh his sidekick that was a little person joe c joe c was there i think we were just like what are we seeing

dude the crazy thing about josie is that he's uh three foot nine with a 10 foot dick apparently yeah that doesn't sound like it i doubt that's accurate that sounds more like of an inconvenience than anything yeah 10 feet yeah you think if you sent a picture to dylan he could judge it down to the uh the inch is that the new thing does it also work for dylan at washmedia.com no that's not even funny that's not funny funny no dude i think anyone that anything that happens there you have to just immediately forward it to dave with hey which was the sentence no one's gonna do that this isn't tfm with just the sentence. No one's going to do that. This isn't TFM.

TFM would have done it. Yeah, that's true. Time Magazine writer, Aaron Dillon, somebody would have done it. Didn't somebody send their balls? What? Didn't somebody send you a photo of their balls once?

Yeah, probably. Okay. Oh, I've gotten sent Snapchats of people's balls before. No, that was actually a thing. I'm not making that up. You catch that block button on Snapchat when you send that, though. You send me poo, I block you.

That happened once. Keep the bathroom humor out of my Snapchat. No one's doing Snapchat anymore. Yeah. If you have that on your phone, you're a fucking dork. I have it on my phone. I have it on my phone as well. A lot of the kids do.

A lot of the listeners do. I get like 20 a day. Not to brag. Greg, give out your handle. People can start b merriman one two b merriman 12 cool man it's a crappy name that's not the best handle yeah i mean i made it when i was in ninth grade i think so cool i made mine when i was like 29 so okay yeah i was uh yeah i was pretty pretty young when i made it. Hey, young man's game.

What's your peach handle? Give that out. What's my peach? Handle, yeah. Handle. Of schnapps? Oh, my God. This guy never peached.

Once we're doing peach jokes, that's when we need to wrap the episode up. It's been time. Where'd you put the tea time? I haven't yet. What have you been doing over here? I'm waiting to ask you what course you want to play at let's settle this off camera alright guys see you Friday for the listener voicemails

RIP Nick Cannon congrats to Greta Thunberg we already talked about that Thank you.