Circling Back - UFOs & Weighing Your Pee-Pee

Episode Date: May 29, 2019

Dillon caught his son (aka The Homie) weighing his pee-pee, Will is steaming on restaurants stacking reservations and airport Uber pick-up zones, and Dave breaks down the Naval pilots seeing UFOs. We also talk This Weekend in Fun presented by Icenhauer's. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (8:29) Dillon Caught The Homie Weighing His Pee-Pee (34:54) The Steam Room: Reservations & Uber Pick-Up Zones (50:56) Navy Pilots Seeing UFOs (1:03:28) This Weekend In Fun Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (CB20 for 20% off) Fulton & Roark: www.fultonandroark.com (Use promo code STEAM for $4 off the sample pack PLUS a $16 coupon) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast wednesday my name is Will DeFreeze to my right, Dave Ruff. Buongiorno, bitch. Wow. This isn't even Patreon, dude. You went word to B-word. I did. How are you? Good morning. Why are you going with the Italian today? Don't fucking worry about it. Dude. Yeah.

I'm trying to set the tone for this episode. The heat. What's the deal, Dave? We have a big episode. Yeah. Hi. What's up, Dylan? Dylan is my name. Thank you. Yeah, happy to be here, as always. It's going to be a good day.

Anything else you're leaving out? No. Okay. Why? You look like shit. I feel like I don't feel great. What? I mean, you look fine.

You kind of sound weird. I feel like I look like shit. I feel okay. I feel like I look... This is my feel okay. I feel like I look... This is my appearance as shit. Shut up. This is a new way to set the bar low. Stop fishing for compliments.

I just said it's going to be a great day. It's going to be a fantastic epi. It was an empty great day, though. No. No, that's not even true. I came out of the gate with the flamethrower, and you came out, took the bar, and you just dropped it on the ground. That's not true.

All right. Will, will you save this fucking... It's going to be a great epi is what I'm saying. Damn. Dude, your boy watched Chernobyl last night, episode one, at the advice of you guys. Are we ready to talk about it? No. As a podcast?

No, I don't think we are. Let's wait until Will's caught up. Yeah, I got to... Oh, yeah, you just watched one. I think we wait until it's done. I agree. I thought about, hey, should we do a review of each episode? And I was like, what are we going to be like?

Oh, man, that's fucked up when the reactor melted down. Like, dude. I'll be honest. The graphite on the roof. I think we spoke about this yesterday on our Patreon episode of The Bachelor. History is not my thing. Yeah. And it's recent history, Chernobyl.

But I still somehow managed to know like very little about it. That's not just you, though. Did episode one grab you and pull you in, though? It did. Yeah. It kind of, it's not really my style of TV.

It's slow, I would say. Whoa. I totally disagree. Like. It's nonstop. They just bring heat the whole time. All right, calm down on the fission jokes okay yeah dude that's fucked up yeah dude come on there's actual victims here how can you

say that's a slow bringing heat the whole time you say that's slow i mean i know what you're saying it's it's methodical like i mean it's a constant kind of like humming along as opposed to like mind-blowing scene right here like it's all kind of just like i don't know i don't maybe you're right it's it's it's still quiet and kind of droning though even though like they're bringing heat the entire time oh man to me it's just like relentless they they talk about the next step they have keep in mind i've only seen episode one i know and instead of taking like an episode or two episodes to build up like the next move they just the next scene they're just in it

it kind of sucks just knowing everyone's dying like that's not really fun keep watching does this actually does this actually follow like history

or like are we about to see like aliens or some shit yeah to my knowledge I don't want to spoil anything so if you guys

are going to be upset by this tune out now there are no aliens okay okay just making sure. Because that would be weird if I set myself up for a factual thing, and then all of a sudden, like... Aliens.

That's your alien sound? That's a little too much historical fiction for you. Yeah. Yeah. What would the noise be that they would make? That's pretty accurate. In your hypothetical historical fiction where what would the aliens be doing like saving chernobyl or do they do chernobyl no they're like when they come

down they have their fingers touching as if they're like yep the plan has been seen through that's what they're doing that's their line actually more on aliens we'll talk aliens later we got more alien stuff coming up uh we do have some big news for the squad out there. And by the squad, I mean the people listening at home. What's that? They can get themselves a I support small to midsize podcast shirt at washmedia.com slash shop. They can also get themselves a big cat shirt. They can also in the future get themselves other shirts.

Did we sign big cat? No, no, no. Other big cat. He and Van Pelter boys. I feel like they're going to be like a one-two punch. they can also in the future get themselves other shirts. Did we sign Big Cat? No, no, no. Other Big Cat. He and Van Pelt are boys. I feel like they're going to be like a one-two punch. We can't just sign both of them? We almost signed SVP.

You got to think that'd be good for our numbers. Dude, if we got both of them? Yeah. Like, is Tiger Woods trying to get in the podcast game? Because I feel like he could be number one. Tiger? Yeah. Like, if he released a podcast, you've got to think it's going number one on the charts, day one.

The original Big Cat. Yeah. I don't think Tiger has the dynamic personality. Well, neither do I, really, to carry a podcast. I would do a Tiger Woods impression, but I can't. You don't think he would come out of the gate and just be like, Guys, I just feel like shit. You don't think he would come out of the gate and just be like, guys, I just feel like shit. I don't look great today.

I feel like I look like shit. It's like, shut up, Dylan. Went out and shot 75 earlier. Shirts are up. Watchmedia.com slash shop. Also, listen to our Patreon episodes. We've got a Tuesday episode that is Bachelor-centric. We've got a Tuesday episode that is Bachelor-centric.

We also have a Friday episode that's all about you, the listeners. Listener voicemails. Every day. What? You heard it. You heard it? I don't know what you said. Every day.

Yeah. That's one. Patreon.com slash circling back podcast. You can join for as low as $5 a month. As low one. Patreon.com slash circling back podcast. You can join for as low as $5 a month. As low as $5. Or as much as $10. Or as much as you want to pay.

If you want to drop a stack on us, you can absolutely do that. It's not necessary. But you have the option to do so. If you're doing that, you probably shouldn't do it. Come on. We don't deserve a full stack. Don't do a full stack. You can, but i wouldn't i think i think our i think our price tiers are appropriate right now i think

so yeah uh also support the squad over at fulton and rourke they've been good to us like your boy just today i did i went wild i went two squirts out that two-in-one body wash all right look they have this this sample cologne pack. Yeah. So the big deal with cologne is when you're buying it off the internet, you don't know what it smells like because it's not in your hand yet. So you have to guess. They don't have scratch and sniff on the internet yet.

That's why people are always asking us, like, what do you suggest? Which scent? They have a sample pack, and they sent it to us. This is the wax-based cologne sample pack. Yes, and it comes with every available scent that they have. All eight? Oh, this is so helpful. This is...

Why isn't everybody doing this is what I'm saying. I've had so many... I've had two ladies in the last couple months hit me up and say, I don't know which scent to get my boyfriend. Whoa. This is for you. Father's Day is even coming up. Like, come on.

Oh, dads love wax-based cologne. Okay. If you do this, the sample pack of all eight, it comes with a $16 coupon code towards your next purchase. So basically, if you buy anything afterward, even like a bar of soap or something, which like I'm not going to poo-poo that bar of soap. They slap. Yeah, they're triple milled. The sample packs are basically free. Yeah.

Yeah, they're triple milled. The sample packs are basically free. But for circling back listeners, it's even better than that because if you use the coupon code STEAM, S-T-E-A-M, which, again, we'll get to steaming in a little bit, you can get the sample pack for just $12, which means for $12 you get a sample pack and a $16 coupon code. You're essentially getting like four free dollars out there. That's exactly what's going on here.

And you have all the colognes in your hand. So make sure to go use promo code STEAM, S-T-E-A-M, for $4 off the sample pack plus a $16 coupon. That's ridiculous. I think you're going to like the Palmetto. I think you're going to like the Sterling. And what's the signature one? Is it just the signature one?

No, I think you're... I think... The VIP one. The special one. Oh, man. What's that one called? I don't know. You'll have to just get the sample pack and find out.

Go to FultonandRook.com and find out for yourself. If you want to smell like Dave, you'll get the VIP one that we can't name. And everybody wants to smell like me. Sometimes I'll just open a drawer and I'll see Sally will just throw one of my wax-based colognes in the drawer. And it's like a gift whenever I find it. I find them in odd places as well. it's the best um dude so how about like your kid last night dylan are we talking about this already yeah oh my god um here here's a question like are we sticking with the word pp i'm just saying what he said okay these aren't my

words like there aren't that many cleared words that I'm comfortable saying right now when it comes to this situation. Yeah, exactly. I didn't want to say dick. I didn't want to say the C word, obviously. Say the C word. I don't like to say penis, you know. But he actually said pee-pee. That's why I put it in quotes.

Why was that lady on Twitter coming at you for saying pee-pee? You know that lady is Ross's aunt. That's Ross's aunt? Aunt Bev, yeah. Oh, wow. I don't know. She was like, yeah, you need to expand his vocabulary and use the word penis. Don't be ashamed to use the word penis.

Like, I don't think we're ashamed of it. No, but penis is weird. You know, he just turned four and he says pee-pee because that's what four-year-olds say. Yeah. Yeah. Pee-pee's fun. Pee-pee's, you know, that's what four-year-olds say yeah yeah pee-pee's fun pee-pee's a you know it's that's what he calls it all right anyway here's what happened um he he takes showers now it's tight yeah so that's why he was in my bathroom he took a shower you know i helped him because he's a

child uh he took his little shower and he got out. I dried him off and, you know, put his underwear on and all that. And my phone was in the bathroom because we listen to music. That's what we do. We jam out sometimes. Like Future or some shit?

Yeah, we had Future playing while he was showering. It was tight. He listens to March Madness every time he showers. I leave the bathroom. I think I had to go to the kitchen for something.

I come back. Wow, you left your child unattended dude he's cool can you believe this fucking guy i come back to the bathroom and uh at first he's laying like with his stomach just on the bathroom scale he's okay he's weighing different parts of his body right makes sense he doesn't understand that if you just put your stomach on it it's still know, the scale still bears the full weight of your body. He's like, I don't see how much my stomach weighs. He's a kid, right? He wanted to weigh his feet. And then finally, he just gets down on all fours,

and it's like he just drops his thing down on it. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? He said, I'm weighing my pee-pee. Yeah, you need those numbers. Yeah, the scale said 20 pounds. But of course, like I said, he had a lot of body weight on that. That's significant. Yeah, it's a large.

He just weighs like 32 pounds himself. So to think 20 of that is all penis, it's a little crazy. Don't say that. Yeah. Anyway, I took a picture. I showed you guys. I'm not going to show the internet. It'll be released on Patreon for $1,000. Definitely don't reveal that. say that yeah anyway i took a picture i showed you guys i'm not going to show the internet it'll

be released on patreon might be a thousand dollars definitely don't remind me a law against me releasing that i don't think so you're good yeah he's he's not he's clothed yeah you're good he's just dropping his thing down on it the photo is laugh out loud the photo i couldn't there were numerous times last night where i opened my phone and just saw it and i was just laughing i sent it i sent the the picture and the whole story to my family uh they just got a real good kick out of it that makes sense yeah dude i'm actually seeing like a lot of family this weekend we got a family event up in detroit you're gonna wear your pee pee no but like dude every single time we get together like it ends up

coming up that like one time my uncle was just sitting on the couch next to me when i was like probably the homie's age yeah and i just had my thang out and i was just playing with it and i feel like that's a normal thing that kids do yeah they don't they don't really get it we um we were leaving to go somewhere about a month ago we're out in the maybe three or maybe three months ago um and we're out in the parking lot i'm ready to put him in his car seat and he just drops his pants outside, underwear too, to his ankles. I'm like, dude, what's this? And he thought it was funny. He was like dancing around.

I was like, hey, you can't do this, buddy. Damn. You cannot do this. Just high key swinging it. I said, you got to hide that pee pee, man. He's proud of it. I have a vivid memory of me being in the shopping cart at the Tom Thumb in Duncanville with my mom. And we, like, pull into the, you know, she's waiting on somebody to get checked out.

And I just said, Mommy, my penis itches. Did you say pee-pee or penis? No, I said penis. Wow. And I remember her being really embarrassed. And I was probably, like, three or four. Dude. And that's how i found out i have

vd wow no that really did happen no minus the vd part okay damn minus the vd part yeah i mean i feel like little kids are just fascinated by it i think i was yeah i think i used to just sit on the couch and like eat craft singles and like watch gumby and just like stare at my thing didn't you tell me you used to call it gumby no should have I mean it's kind of like makes sense yeah it's stretchy like Gumby okay yeah there when you start to discover that you're staying down there as a little kid it's like what does this thing do and it's kind of a you know it's an it's an experience dude this kid in my second grade class he like pulled out his he like pulled out his boxers to like show people and his boxers were like lame like they were like

striped or some shit he was a little kid wearing boxers yeah that's too young second grade second grade is too young for boxers i feel like boxers were for like intermediate school middle schoolers yeah yeah so he was wearing boxers and then i was was like, dude, these boxers, these are lame. Like, you know what I mean by pulling them out? Like, he was pulling them up to show people. Yeah. And so, dude, all the time. Oh, I thought he was saying he pulled his thing out. No, no, no, just his boxers.

And it was striped. They were striped. And he was my, like, good friend. And so he pulls them out. And I'm like, dude, those are lame. Like, I got Taz boxers on right now. Like, these dominate your boxers. Did you stunt on them? Dude, so I stunted on stunted on him second i took mine up and showed people he was like

teacher he will showing his underwear he held me out did you whip his ass on the plate we had words i was not holy shit i was not happy i thought it was so shady by him dude is it because you flexed too hard yeah that's 100 what it was yeah but when you showed the class, you got the Taz boxers. It's over. Dude, it was over for those hoes. I had all the boxers. I had Marvin the Martian boxers. I guess I was a big Warner Brothers boxers guy.

I was a big Warner Brothers fan in general. There was something about Marvin the Martian, which was kind of cool. I used to draw him all the time. I did, too. It was a good draw. I think it was an easy draw well he was just very mysterious yeah you don't really i mean he was a martian and he had that weird voice but you couldn't really see his face but he had that old school like alexander the great war helmet on it was just weird a lot going on he was pretty easy to draw now that I think about it.

Yeah. Was he wearing blackface low-key? I just don't think you could see his face. He got gloves on so you can't tell what color his hands are either. My favorite response to my tweet,

I tweeted about the homie weighing his thing. Shouts to Brian Bisgard, I believe he's been a listener for a while, if I'm not mistaken. He wrote for PGP. Oh yeah, that's the same one.

Yeah, that's right. He said, RIP to the Zeta class of 2033. That was pretty funny. Any other ones? Yeah, Dave kind of body bagged you. Dave's was funny, but it was... What was it, Dave? I'll let you find it.

Okay, I'll find it. It is interesting that y'all are going to be competing for the same girls. Or not. That's the thing. That's what you don't get, is that we won't be. What the shit? Why don't I see it? Every weekend's parents weekend when the homie goes to college.

Hey, Parks, man. Why is your dad always coming around, man? He knows we're good, right? Yeah. He always comes by and drops off paper towels and shit. Oh, it was... I'll find it. He's going to hook you up with a date to formal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I was looking for it. There it is. Yeah, what's up, Dad? Hey, Dad. This girl I'm bringing, Amber. She's got this friend. She's actually pretty cool.

Dude. But she needs a date. Her boyfriend just dumped her last week. So she still wants to go, though. Dad, do you want to go? Did you ever have someone try to set you up with somebody, and then you inquired about them, and then you got the... No.

She's kind of pretty in a different way. I never got that. I think she's pretty. I have to explain these jokes, by the way, to new people who come into my life. They're like, why is everyone saying that you're into college chicks? It's just a little weird. Is it because you just don't reveal that part of... No, it's because I'm not into college chicks.

I think that's the main reason. Well, not yet. Now that I'm going to your... I'm on your Twitter profile, just add D. Chivry. And I'm looking at it from my profile think that's the main reason. Well, not yet. Now that I'm going to your pro, like, I'm on your Twitter profile, just add D. Chivry, and I'm looking at it from my profile, just add Will DeFreeze. Like, we need to update your cover photo.

Oh, I know. Like, this is mass confusion for people out there. I know, I do. It's touching base. Yeah, like, people are probably subscribing to that when they see you on the new Twitter.

I just haven't taken the time. But I probably should. Hey, Dad, we're going to hit Chimmy's before we go. Just meet us there. We're going to have a few margs, probably some nachos. I'm not going to Chimmy's with Parks.

Yeah, you are. No. Dude, what are your thoughts on ordering a quesadilla at a Tex-Mex restaurant? I think it's for children. I've had limited success in my times trying to do that.

I saw the adult quesadilla at Matt's El Rancho the other night. Did it go? It looked really, really, really good. I've had the quesadilla at Matt's El Rancho. Not good? It was one of those quesadillas, and it could have been an off day, that was so greasy that you picked it up, and it was like a wet noodle, and it just like...

Oh, okay. It was floppy. It was a floppy, flaccid quesadilla. Interesting. Okay. Which for me, I need it very crisp. I need it to be able to stand up on its own merit. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah. I like quesadillas. I do too. But I feel like a scumbag ordering them at Tex-Mex restaurants. I feel like there's other things I can order. I don't think that's that bad. The only time I've been to Chimmy's was with you and i ordered a quesadilla which is what maybe oh really and then we proceeded to drink uh what did we drink chiltons we drank 100 chiltons and i got

kicked out of a bar later that night yep that was a fun night i wasn't gonna bring up that you got kicked out it wasn't there was no grounds for you getting kicked out no i mean they look here's what happened i think this is what happened they told me that they were going to cut me off and it's probably because i had been drinking all day in retrospect and i and i said something smart ass and they had me removed it's pretty much how things go can we can we say how you tried to dodge it yeah how you tried to get around it i told them i'm i said i'm gonna pee first and they're like okay so they followed me to the men's room this is not at chimneys by the way this is some other bar that we a bar that you're actually like it's better to get kicked out of that bar than yeah i

would not want to be for long term yeah this is a bar i'll probably never go back to and they just waited behind me as i relieved myself and then i looked at him and i said all right well i'm gonna weigh my pp and then they're like all right so i found the scale and i just you just laid down you dropped i laid down i weighed my pp and i said all right let's go so my tweet about that it it did numbers it went micro viral you gotta think it would have done more numbers if i if i said like my son instead of the homie dude i was thinking that last night what i saw like was he talking like who was this guy they think your friend just weighed his penis right people people ask me who the homie is they're like who's the homie really that's why

yeah i think that's the thing we don't do well i think we need to mix in your son we need to like even it out because i think we get new listeners you talk about new listeners not knowing about you know your affection for college girls um new listeners who don't know that the homie is like actually your your child yeah the homie is my son he's's four. His name is Parks. Now you know if you didn't know already. He's got a 20-pound pee-pee. And he's got a 20-pound pee-pee. Verified. What kind of scale y'all rocking?

It's just like a $20 Amazon bathroom scale. I don't know. I forgot the brand name. It's not fancy. Does it measure body fat? No, just weight. Wow. I'd love to know what his body fat's coming in at

man he's a skinny little dude yeah can't put weight on him man you thought about getting him to like any like karate classes or anything yeah actually i feel like that's the big thing for little kids these days yeah actually see that you see the viral video of the kid crushing the board yeah yeah dude that was a great video his friends were just gassing him up dude dude that his sensei I don't know if that was his sensei

yeah is that what they're called it just looked like a white dude with some earrings yeah I need a squad like he has my squad sucks compared to him what are you talking about dude

we we do nothing but gas you up oh really yeah y'all don't support shit I'm gonna it's hard to support just like

I'm gonna start crying and see how y'all that pile of poo over there that you're putting out right now. I'm going to start crying and see how y'all respond. See if you just pile on or support me. What does your son call poo? What words does he use? Let's just get into this. He says poop. He says, Dad, I need to poop.

He didn't say dookie? No, he says poop. He says potty if he's just going number one. He says poop if it's number two. You know, I never thought I'd be a potty guy. I always hated the word potty. Then you got a dog. Then I got a dog.

And I talk to him when he's in the backyard, like at night. I'm like, all right, let's go potty. And I'm like, god damn. Yeah. How did this happen? Whoa, I think I do the same thing. It's crazy how much you... know i just i don't actually have a human yeah it's a it's a dog i don't dude doesn't matter to me but it's it's crazy how much

i notice myself um like when i play with the dog or let him out how much i i see my own dad and the stuff he used to say to me i i am like i noticed myself i'm like dude this is this is crazy dude i mean this i mean this might be a stretch and i have no clue because i don't have i don't have a kid obviously very far off from that but like are you i think that i'm far i think that better way that peepee no i'm sorry i don't want to weigh my people i don't even know what that would have meant okay but like it's a good basis for like learning limits and shit getting a dog before having a kid yeah like i'm glad that i did this because i like i think that i might have like i mean i think i might have been like a little optimistic toward how good of a father i'd be

but having a dog has made me realize that I'm in no way equipped right now. I need years until I can do this. Didn't on one of the episodes of the Dadgum podcast... I was voted least likely. Didn't some... Okay, it wasn't me, but somebody... No, it's... Okay, go on.

Somebody flamed you. Least likely to what? Least likely, like, I'd be like... Who's the least ready to have a kid in a Grand X crew? Which is, that's a terrible call. Especially given the other people being discussed. Everyone at Grand X was under consideration for this? Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were chosen for... I was chosen last place. Okay. Which I think is just, that's just terrible. So I think I made a joke out of the Sunday scares. I was like, dude, Will's got too many scares. He can't handle a kid right now. were chosen for i was chosen last place okay which i think is just that's just terrible so i think i made a joke out of the sunday scares i was like dude will's got too many scares he can't handle a kid right now yeah and then i think basis i think micah might have brought out the flamethrower

if i remember right chad kyle's gonna hit us up and tell us he probably remembers this kyle's dadgum doesn't record anymore i don't think but kyle if you want to check out kyle bandujo trouble with the script pod check it out check out Kyle Bandujo, Trouble with the Script pod, check it out. Check out the Miracle episode. Are you going to do that pod? Yeah, what the hell? Yeah, do it next week. Hello?

Dude, that did make me mad, though. I mean, I'm allowed to say that I'm not equipped to be a father, but it's very insulting to have other people say that. Oh, 100%. It's not a compliment. No, it is insulting. It is. Also, even though I'm not well-equipped,

I think I could figure it out. And I'm a pretty, I'm a compassionate, nice guy. I've done a good job. You always build yourself as a compassionate conservative. It's not what I do. But like, come on. Come on. What on?

Come on. That's bullshit. No, that was an unfair segment. Yeah. I remember hearing that and like everyone walked out of the studio like laughing and pointing at me. And I was just like, fuck all you. We were. We were. And I honestly, this is like an honest segment. Yeah. I remember hearing that and like everyone walked out of the studio like laughing and pointing at me and I was just like fuck all you. We were.

And I honestly this is like an honest thing I think that I was asked the next week to be on DadGum for something and I think I said no. I think I was like

no fuck you guys. Wow you took a knee? Yeah. Wow. But I have been on I was on it after that but like I think I think I was asked

immediately following that episode to like defend myself and I was like no I got shit But I think I was asked immediately following that episode to defend myself. And I was like, no. I got shit to do. Fuck you guys. Damn. You do want to be a dad, though? Like, eventually?

I don't know. It's weird. I always thought I did. I'm at the point right now where I think I just need to get over the marriage hump. Get married, and then I'll have a cooler mind about it but like i can't there's no way in the next two years that i even want to remotely have one seeing my friends with kids they're all happy they all love their kids they're all happy with their kids but i'm talking babies yeah but i look at them and i'm like you look kind of miserable look the first couple years it couple years, it's not all that fun.

No, it looks terrible. You just got to, like, basically, there's a human there that says, keep me alive, please. That's, you know, the first stage of, like, being a parent. But, dude, when they start talking and stuff, it's wild. It's wild. I think, even though right now I am kind am kind of on the fence i do think that like i would a hundred thousand percent regret it if i didn't do it yeah and i think once i get over the marriage hump and it's like all right next chapter in life i'll immediately be down with it but like

right now i'm so far from it that it's just like i can't even fathom it and honestly having getting a dog getting a puppy made me realize like oh having a kid's gonna be a thousand times harder so like don't even think about doing that for a while it's pretty crazy that dylan you've raised a baby and now you're out there looking for beautiful babies it's cool yeah your your life is like it kind of works in different ways it's come full circle yeah that's interesting how that worked there i hate i hate it i hate you both of you will told me he didn't want to be a father until he heard ever clear's uh seminal hit father of mine father that's amazing that that never came out when you guys were listening or talking game of thrones i never clear was limited. I didn't like them.

Santa Monica still slaps. I remember people singing Father of Mine at ski practice in middle school and me just being like, this song sucks. Why are we singing this? It wasn't a good song. They only had a few bar chords they played. They were pretty limited in their guitar. I just couldn't take the lead singer seriously with his haircut. Oh, you mean Art Alexis?

Is that his name? Yeah. Dude, i'm getting texts from people about your disrespect for the bare naked ladies i don't i mean i'm not trying to lean i'm not trying to lean into this to troll or get any kind of reaction i this is just my honest assessment of them no one that i know who's musical no one that i know in general has is a fan of them has ever said anything about them i have friends with really eclectic music tastes no one has ever been in on the bare naked ladies i think it might be a northern thing yeah maybe it's because they're canadian and like i'm

pretty much i think in the south people are more into like and this is going to be very unfair i'll probably get roasted for this it's more like dmb yeah panic that kind of stuff and like no i know it's a very it's not the same kind of music but it find one other podcast that's putting bare naked ladies and panic in the same i just feel like bare naked ladies is a band that college kids might be drawn to and i don't know why throwback like what if we like dylan when you're at the zeta house and they're doing like an oldies power i don't go to the zeta house i don't know what you're talking about wow they're doing like a an oldies power hour like do they have songs that like you listen to in high school on it because that's like my fear if i was like driving by like

a college campus on a tailgate day that they're going to be listening to like bush the songs that i liked you drive by and glycerines blaringaring. That kind of happened at T-State when we went for that tailgate. I felt like people tossed on like an oldies playlist and they were playing like 90s rock. And I was like, fuck. Oh, Nirvana, cool. This stinks. Again, let me reemphasize it. I don't know because I don't go to those parties.

Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Yeah. Dude, for sure. God. oh okay you know what I mean yeah dude for sure god god I think we're gonna go get some drinks after the lake at hula hut you know what I mean

I hate that you have Parks talking like Frat Dave Frat Parks dude how about that University of Texas golf team the hammer speaking of children they're How about that University of Texas golf team? The Hammer? Speaking of children, they're basically a bunch of freshmen. Isn't the ship today?

It's right now. It's literally happening. I think they tee off at 930. They had to move off the tee times because of inclement weather. Stanford? Stanford, Texas? Stanford, Texas. Nice. What's the format for that, by the way?

It's five matches. Win three. Win the shit. Okay. Last night was electric. Yeah. I'm not overselling this. No.

That was great television. Dude, so was the women's side. Last week or two weeks ago, whenever it was. It was so good. Oh, yeah. Honestly, the women's might have been more exciting to me than the men's but the men's just had more people around so it seemed bigger like there were some really exciting women's matches so they played the same course it was cool to see a ball like

how the bombers played it was much different like watching matt wolf the uh okie state guy that's won like nine times this season or something uh Seeing him, because he's got the wildest swing. You've seen his swing, right? He goes to Oklahoma State? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. That guy's fucking good. The one he swings it kind of up over his head and then drops it. He's a wild man. He got wrecked yesterday.

Yes, he did. He ran into the hammer. The hammer took him down? Hammer was six under through eight. It was obviously match play, but he birdied six out of his first eight holes. The kid was fucking on fire. That's unbelievable. He's the youngest looking college kid I've ever seen.

Dude, every single one of them. I couldn't get over it. I kept on like... I'm in a UT sports group text with Sally's family, and I couldn't stop just commenting on how young they look. It's depressing as hell. He has like... None of them have grown into their bodies.

No. They all just have like bubble Watson arms. Yeah. Less body hair. But like, I can't wait to see what they look like when they fill out and how it changes their game. But it's kind of like all the... It's like you see like Brooks Koepka in college

and he looked like a little twerp. You look at like how big rory mcelroy was at that age when he was everybody just wants to go alpha when they hit like 24 yeah what age do you start optimizing like at what age were you guys like all right i gotta stop fucking around start optimizing do like 28 maybe 29 i didn't think of it as optimizing and then what year what year did you start listening to the Joe Rogan podcast? Oh, that was like 2015, 2016. I'm just imagining those two things just going completely hand in hand.

The first one I listened to is when he had Sturgill Simpson on for the first time. Really? Yeah. I need to see Sturgill again. IRL. My first experience with Sturgill was not a great one. Where was that? I was with Dylan, actually. ACL?

ACL. Oh, I was with Dylan, actually. ACL? ACL. Oh, I was with you. It's fine. ACL is a tough place to gauge. It's fine. It was during the day. I think I was there. Maybe you weren't there.

I could have sworn you were. But yeah, it was a bummer. But yeah, they're playing Stanford. By the time this gets released, it might be close to being done. Yeah. I mean, I bet there's going to be some points on the board. But to Okie, so Okie State,

it came down to the last match and it went into extra holes. Free golf. And that poor, that poor dude. I mean, that was a horseshoe

that went around the entire cup. Yeah. You don't want to lose. Yeah, it really did. I was like, what,

a four footer? Yeah. It was, that was brutal. Sally was like, this is stupid. He's going to make it. Two seconds later, he fucking lifted out and. I was like, what, a four-footer? Yeah. That was brutal. Sally was like, this is stupid. He's going to make it. Two seconds later, he fucking lifted out, and I was just like, look what you did. Okay, as hard as that is to watch, that's kind of what's fun and intriguing about watching

amateurs and collegiate players because it's not locked in that they're going to make a two-footer. Yeah. There was a guy who make a two-footer. There was a guy who wiped a two-footer, and they hit bad shots. Matt Wolfe had a chip that rolled up on the club face. It was so amateur. And it's match play, so their opponent has the option to be like, yeah, that one's good.

Oh, yeah, a little gamesmanship. Yeah, but a four-footer for the title? No, you make them putt that. You've got to make them putt that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You make them putt a three-footer. Even though he told or no to go to you you gotta put that gotta make them oh yeah yeah yeah you make it you make a put a three footer even though he told other dude to go ahead and pick up but his his was shorter it was like a foot it's weird i don't i'm not so i'm like not totally in tune but it would be weird to have the kid not tell you to pick it up he misses his putt you tell him to pick it up and then he tells you to pick it up like in that situation like you got to make him putt that out you have to you have to of course

one of the weirder things that you see happen is they don't players once they're finished they don't stick around to watch the other guy on like putt out they go to the next hole and that's weird to me oh really like not all of them but some like matt wolf did it and it's i don't think it's gamesmanship i think it's just get to the next hole you know take all the advantage you can get to to see how it's playing but so you'll see like like a couple times you'll see uh cole hammer not cole hamels former ranger great um you know he's like lining up a six footer to win the hole to win the hole and like they show the camera shows matt wolf walking to the other t-box it's like huh i guess it's not as

distracting as it looks but that is kind of weird it is weird it's weird you don't see that yeah man that makes me want to that's some shit will does when we're playing wolf so yeah i'm savage i'm gonna go home and watch it after this hey should we take off our shirts That's some shit Will does when we're playing Wolf. Yeah. I'm savage. I'm going to go home and watch it after this. Hey, should we take off our shirts? Okay. Hold on. Let me turn it on.

I never thought we'd actually do that. Oh. If you're turning that on, we've got to take everything off. Not just our shirts. Judging by what you did with your hand, I'm not sure you understand how the steam room works. He was just turning it back and forth. What are you doing, dog? I was just jiggling the handle,

getting ready for you guys to come in. Okay. Come on. Is that what... Give me that ass, Dave. All right. Maybe I'm getting in my sauna. Hold on. I got to go weigh in real quick.

I like to weigh in pre and post sauna. Are you guys steaming on anything today or is it just me? I think it's just you. You're the one who gathered us here today. I have two things. Okay. I'm double steaming. What do you want?

What do you want first? I'm going to give you guys the option. Let me go grab some water. This is a choose your own adventure. Okay. You can either have restaurant reservations or you can have airport Ubers. What do you want? I want Rezzy's.

I kind of want Rezzy's. I want Rezzy's. I feel like... All right. I said this last week on the podcast. I think I said it for this weekend in fun that I was going to a place up an hour and a half north of San Francisco to get oysters. Okay?

We had a reservation there. You have to make a reservation because it gets really packed. Oh, is that Santa Monica? It's not Santa Monica. a reservation there, you have to make a reservation because it gets really packed. Oh, is that Santa Monica? It's not Santa Monica. So then we shout to Stefan, the backer who shot me out there, was not expecting that.

But we go and we sit down. And as I said, this place is packed. It's total yuppie scum. That's what it is up there. That's why you're there. Yeah. So we sit down and... What's this place called? It's called Hog Island Oyster Company.

They used to call dave that man when he was in prison hog island it was weird i never understood that it's like reedus island didn't you call it the hog island clam company though anyway i don't even understand how that would uh so we're sitting there our reservations at two uh It's about 335. Okay. We're two bottles of wine deep. About 24 oysters deep. Four barbecue oysters deep.

Slap hard, by the way. And you know I've never had an oyster that wasn't just a fresh oyster? Dude, the barbecue oysters at this place are incredible. Have you ever had a fried oyster? I've probably had a fried one, but never like a barbecued one. Have you done an oyster shooter? What's that? It's like an oyster with the juice, some cocktail sauce, and I think a little bit of vodka in it.

I don't recall doing that. It's like a shot. I don't recall doing that. Let's go do them. They have them at, let's do them this weekend at Perla's. Bet. They have them. Ooh. Sunday.

It's for the boys. I love Perla's. So it's about $3 I love pearls um so three it's about 335 340 and we're looking around for the waitress because we want to get

another bottle of rosé we're like dude we're vibing this right of course you do yeah so we're looking around she finally comes up

and we're ready to order one and she was like there's the other reservations here you guys gotta go ooh and we're like I'm sorry

what like and so we're kind of caught off guard like we still have like each of us how did she say it just like that kind of just like that so then she that has never happened to me she gives us the check and i'm like okay like this is weird because like we were literally about to like post up and i'm i was going to order more food even and so we're like how long have you had you been there at this point hour and a half and keep in mind it takes an hour and a half y'all are spending money yeah we were spending money we were like i mean it's not like you're just squatting like when you're in a scenario like that you're on the water the oysters are coming

from right there you shouldn't have money be an option right there isn't this one of those places where the oysters just jump up onto your plate yeah they just they just hop up on your plate and you just start cracking how do they teach them to do that it's crazy but like so then we finally she brings us the check two seconds later because she's clearly wants us out of there and we are still signing the check sally paid with her card for everybody there sally signs the check and like sets it aside within 30 seconds of her setting it aside the hostess comes up and she goes the table of eights here you guys got to go and we were just like how did she say it like very much like she

was very very rude and so we were sitting there we're like you gotta be fucking kidding me like we just signed our check and we like we need two seconds to get up i switched into kind of deliberate moving slow dave while i'm like my time. Things started moving a little slow. Super annoying, Dave. Yeah. But it was shocking to me that they clearly only give you an hour and a half at a place. That's crazy. Takes a long time to get.

I'm going to guess that most people that are there are coming in from San Francisco. So you don't want to drive an hour and a half to just get in and get out. Maybe y'all were at Zuckerberg's table. Was this place in some small town? You say it's just isolated in the middle of nowhere. It is isolated. Really? Yes. That's crazy. Obviously the passive-aggressive move from a server standpoint is they just bring the

check, right? And you're finishing up or whatever. You have a drink still. They just bring you the check. Your time has come. That's the move. It's still kind of aggressive, but just outright saying, you guys got to go. Yeah. That has never once happened to me in my life.

What we decided as a group, I think I can speak for the group here, is that we decided that they should have told us beforehand. They should have told us the second we sat down, hey, by the way, we've got a big reservation coming in at 3.30. So, like, it's at this table. And then been like, if you guys want to move to the bar after that, we'd love to serve you there. But instead, they didn't say anything to us and just kicked us out after an hour and a half. And I thought that was messed up. You should leave them a bad review.

That's messed up, man. It was weird. But, like, calling and saying something doesn't really make a difference to us because it's not going to if we get something out of it like what's this place called hog island oyster company oh yeah the thing is is i like i love it there we've it's the second time we've been there we've had great experiences both times outside of this but it's just an icky feeling that's terrible there's another restaurant in austin that will do this they'll say like hey there's another reservation in Austin that will do this. They'll say like, hey, there's another reservation in two hours. Which one? Name names.

Ranch 616. I've had this happen numerous times there. But like they definitely don't honor that. Like they will treat the table that's sitting down with respect and not like kick your ass out. Did they not know that you are part of a critically acclaimed podcast? Excuse me, ma'am. No, it was just weird. And it kind of made me mad. I guess they didn't realize that you're the guy who flew to New York to interview a Microsoft exec.

Yeah. Have you ever heard of Panos Panay? Sorry. I just thought it was weird. I think there's other ways to handle it. I would have never, like... I think that might be more common in other parts of the country than it is in the South. Because people in the South move slower.

Or in Austin, at least. I don't know. like i've i rarely have stuff like that happen here that is bad because it just feels like a factory right like it's just get in get out yes um and i get it like if they should warn you before it's busy on memorial day weekend so i feel like the move was warning before and then it would have made everything totally fine but instead when we're looking around to order something else and they come up and they're like there are other reservations here you got to go it was just like what okay yeah there's not a there's not a great way to handle it but there's you've got to have some tact yeah and you're telling them like yeah guys this table was reserved so um you know i don't i'm not trying to rush you out of here. I think they could have moved another table of four next to our table.

Because you kind of sit at the same table. It's an eight-person table. They could have taken another table of four and just combined them with us and then given the eight-person to the other table. But instead, I feel like they just weren't helping. Maybe they didn't respect you. They didn't respect your pretty boy swag. I didn't feel respected.

Can we do airport Ubers now? Are you guys ready for this um did y'all what'd y'all do afterward we ended up going to another restaurant down the way we drove like an it's i mean we had you have to drive like probably 30 minutes like the nearest town there's other restaurants on the on the air like next to them but like it's it's way too difficult to just stop and go. Did you say anything sassy on your way out? Nope. You didn't go, huh, huh,

guess we'll take our business somewhere else. Okay, okay. I'll never forget this. I don't even know what to do. That stinks, man. Airport Ubers. Ready for this?

Is it because they moved the pickup zone so far away? Dude. Oh, do you have Dallas-Fort Worth? What the hell? With the pickup zones lately. And Austin Bergstrom. And SFO.

Coming back from Nashville a few weeks ago, I was waiting out in the normal spot, and then finally she texted, like, oh, by the way, we don't do that anymore. You got to come upstairs. Yeah. And upstairs is not just upstairs. No. It's a long-ass walk. They need, like, a shuttle to get to, like, all these Uber zones lately. What's the deal? No, they actually have one. They have, like, one of the's a long-ass walk. They need a shuttle to get to all these Uber zones lightly.

What's the deal? No, they actually have one. They have one of the big golf cart-looking things. If you have a bunch of luggage, it's a beating. Yes. Also, it's the one in Austin. I think it might be for security concerns to make traffic move smoother. I agree.

It definitely is in Austin. And Austin has an issue with the traffic down low. Here's my issue with the Austin version. Dylan doesn't have that issue. Dylan has hella traffic down low. I don't even definitely is in Austin. And Austin has an issue with the traffic down low. Here's my issue with the Austin. Dylan doesn't have that issue. Dylan has hella traffic down low. I don't even know what that means. Dude, you know what that means, dog. So the issue with Austin, though, is that the area that they put the Uber pickup, if

you have AT&T, do you guys have AT&T? No. I do. No service. Come on. I couldn't get any service in there to get my Uber the other day. They need to fix that. They should just put a tower inside the parking garage.

They can put little... I was told by a guy there that they're going to end up moving it again. They need to pimp your airport garage. There was a police officer at the San Francisco airport Uber pickup zone, and his job was essentially to just tell people how to work the app he was like oh you gotta select this option instead he was super nice about it but i was like dude like this isn't what you should be doing he was a police officer yeah he was just standing there like directing traffic kind of oh that's everybody's level people were like go up to him

and ask him he's the only one that knows how to do this and so like everybody's going to him he was super nice about it, but I felt bad. I was like, dude, what a waste of your time. I need to figure that out. The boys in blue, they should be doing other stuff. He doesn't need to be telling me how to work my Uber app. That's like when you see at a festival or a huge football game,

they have those Uber zones and they'll have Uber volunteers or something out there at a table helping people. Only this guy was part of the brotherhood of police. It's also more miserable in Austin because it's so hot.

And so you're just lugging everything over to this parking garage and going up three levels. I hate it. It's trash. I do understand why they do it. But it's just a change in it it's trash but I understand I guess I do understand why they do it but it's just a change in my life

that's unwelcome well you know it's a post 9-11 world yeah it is it is it's always going to be damn

from here on out you're right yeah barring time travel that'd be interesting that's all I have are we turning the steam off yeah that was quite the steam i'm sorry i'm sorry i know i'm mr speak to your manager but like i can't help it no the res thing while i get it i'm putting myself in the shoes of the restaurant i understand

what they're doing but it's like they're overbooked maybe they overbooked it i think i feel like they're just trying to get as many people in there as possible which i guess capitalism that's what it's all about but i definitely just think you tell the people in the beginning so you set the tone and we like act accordingly because if i'm doing that like i wanted to order some i want to get some ceviche what if you were in the middle of telling like the dopest story and she comes up and hits you with that and then like afterwards you look at everybody like i'm sorry the most frustrating thing was when the hostess came up because we had just gotten our check and it was up and hits you with that. And then afterwards you look at everybody like, I'm sorry, I don't know where that's going with that. The most frustrating thing was when the hostess came up because we had just gotten our check. And it was like, well, had you brought the check,

we might have gotten out of here a little faster. But instead, we had just signed it. You should have paid with an expired card that you knew would get rejected. And they're like, oh, I'm really sorry. Huh. Try this one. I made a mistake this weekend at a bar.

I handed over my washed debit card on accident and it got dinged. It was like, no, like, because of travel. It was a transaction in San Francisco rather than Austin. Yeah. And he was like, is there something up with this? And I was like, there shouldn't be. It should be fine.

And then I was like, oh, fuck. Wrong card. You try to put it on me a day. That's my biz card. Wait. I didn't get any, like, fraud notifications.

I got a text. I think it probably just sent it to my phone. So we're good? Yeah, we're all good. Because, dude, the biggest beating is when that happens

and you have to get new cards. No, no, no. We're good. We're good. We're good. I just had that issue. Isn't that... I can i can mini steam on this when you get the notification from your bank that a place that you just happen to go to they can't tell you which one had some fraud so they got to axe all the cards that used it that day i've never had that happen and you get it oh what

really that would drive oh it happens to me once a year. And they send you a brand new card. And then finally, then you get letters from your insurance company saying, oh, hey, your payment got rejected. You have 15 days before your policy is canceled. And you're like, fuck. I forgot this was linked to my debit account or something. Yeah, that's awful.

Yeah, that doesn't happen to me either, man. I've never had that. I used to hook up my American Express to those things because that will automatically change for you. Like, they have the technology to just, like, boom. But now I don't use mine anymore, so. That was just a little mini steam? Yeah, yeah, it wasn't really even a steam. It was just more of a little anecdote from Dave.

More of a sauna. Popcorn steam. A dry sauna session for you right there. See, that's what I'm more used to, dry saunas, actually. Man, they just redid the one at Lifetime, the co-ed one. It's nice. My parents, they recently moved in. They got one in their house.

And I always forget that it's there whenever I go home. They have one in their house? Yeah. You should be using that thing. The dude who lived there before installed like, installed it himself and stuff. And so when they bought it, like, I don't think, I think I'm the only person that's ever used it. I always forget that it exists until I've been at my parents' house for like a couple days. I'm like, shit, what have I been doing?

Like, I should be spending all this time in the dry sauna. Rogan's been doing 20 minutes at 200 degrees in his sauna. What? Which, I'm like, my man's cooking his organs. The one at the gym is like 175 and I can't... It gets to... I've seen it get to 185. It kills me if I do 10 minutes.

I will try to go 15 or 20. 15 is usually the number. Unless I'm in a hurry. But it's definitely not 200. 200's like smoking these meats. Damn, Joe. Yeah, you can't do 200. What a wild man.

This is too damn hot for a penguin. You know what else is too damn hot? These polos from Roebuck. Mmm. Mmm. The quarter zips, too. The hats, the performance tees. Dave, are you wearing a performance...

No, that's a different... Sorry. It's okay. You should be a Roebuck. back yeah no wonder it's why we're okay this i mean yeah i i knew dave had a performance t on i looked over and i was like no that ain't row back it's just some bootleg shit yeah i love it all you know about row back at this point go to rowback.com um and you can chop everything their polos hit different i have i honestly have too many of their polos now. Like, I need to start golfing more so I can use them all. That's just stupid polos.

Stupid ones. Yeah. I mean, we're moving out of quarter zip season, but that doesn't mean you can't prepare now. But you've still got time to get hats and performance tees as well. Hit the performance tees up, man. Dude, they're sneaky great. I work out in them multiple times a week. They're incredible.

They're great to perform in. They're so soft. Do you wash them before you work out in a multiple times a week they're incredible they're great to perform in do you wash so soft you wash them before you like you work on them again uh typically yes yeah it's a one-use thing was dylan the kid were you the kid in like middle school who had the same gym clothes every day i was not the smelly kid no good but these rollbacks man get them Robax, man. Get them. We have a promo code, Will. What is it? CB20. We'll get you 20% off. CB20.

That's robax.com, CB20 for 20% off. Get it. Let's talk about these Navy pilots who report unexplained flying objects. I just want to talk about Navy pilots in general. let's just talk top gun okay top gun was tight yeah it was what what is this about i come on headline u.s navy pilots reportedly spotted uf over East Coast. You have a different headline than me. This is from CBS. Oh, see, I'm on the New York Times one where the headline is, Wow, what is that?

Wow. Navy pilots report unexplained flying objects. Well, that's fine. We'll have multiple sources. That makes us more credible. I'm big on sources. Essentially, there's been a recent uptick in sightings of UFOs, otherwise known as unidentified flying objects,

or as the military calls them, unexplained aerial phenomena, which I like that better. UAP? Yeah. Propting the Navy to draft formal procedures for pilots to document encounters. This is kind of scary. Essentially what's happening is this has been, pilots are seeing crazy shit

uh at like 30 000 feet that's moving at like hypersonic speeds stopping on a dime going the other direction 11 or 12 hours or something yeah and they don't know what it is and it's in our airspace it's in restricted airspace and there's nothing they can do about it. And the shit's moving. They don't come out and say, this isn't human, but we don't have the technology for this. The program has also studied video that shows a whitish oval object

described as a giant tic-tac about the size of a commercial plane. Like what? A tic-tac? I've never seen a tic-tac the size of a commercial plane, but that seems big that's a big ass tic tac

do y'all think there are aliens out there like straight up yes yes okay what form do you think they have do you think they are comparable to a human

they have tech CEO like legs and eyes and all that shit like what do you think I think there's aliens walking amongst us amongst us

yeah I think they're aliens but I think that like they're well i'll never forget when i i had one in my house and i went up to my family and i said hey mom there's something in the back room i hope it's not the creatures from above that song stinks i love that song that song stinks uh for dylan that's aliens exist by blink-182 i wish i didn't know that luis elizondo a former senior intelligence officer told the post the washington post never heard of it that

the new navy guidelines formalized the reporting process facilitating data-driven analysis while removing the stigma from talking about ufos calling it the single greatest decision the navy has made in decades that's pretty bold so she goes on in this to later say if i came to you and said there are these things that can fly over our country with impunity defying the laws of physics and within moments could deploy a nuclear device at will that would be a matter of national security that is terrifying now i don't they haven't done anything bless. A lot of off mic sneezes on this episode. Dude, the whole squad is sneezy as hell today. Like, so like there's video. The Navy has released some video of these things.

And it's just, it's like the radar video, right? So it's not super clear, but you see this thing flying and kind of spinning and then just shooting off the other way. It's really, if it's like a drone like hopefully i mean i think best case scenario for us it is alien because like i don't want other countries i don't want china having this technology no i don't want russia having this i don't want anyone having this technology and i don't think they do or worst case scenario aliens are working with china or russia for us and they hooked them up with this technology let's's get Alex Jones on the horn. He knows.

It's just weird. He probably does. It's also amazing to me that the Navy can just lock in on these things and follow them. Yeah. Did you hear how excited the pilot was when he locked in on that smaller one? And he was like, oh, I got it. Yeah. And they were just watching it go at lightning speeds.

The one that is going barely over the surface of the ocean, the waves, that one's kind of terrifying. It's like these guys are just out here party cruising. I didn't know you could actually see all this shit in the video. I've got to watch the video. Yes, you do. Do you think aliens exist, Dylan? In some form, yes, I do. I think it would be ignorant to not think in some form they exist.

I mean, I don't think there's like a community of aliens walking around like, you know, like we do. I think it'd be ignorant to not think in some form they exist. I mean, I don't think there's a community of aliens walking around like we do. Here's my issue. But some organism, yeah. Here's my issue. Not only do I think there are organisms out there, just like microscopic organisms and bodies. Like bodies of water or something comparable. I don't know. I'm not a science guy.

Right. We'll die over here. Neither is he. Isn't he like an architect or something yeah he's he's he's just a comedian at this point yeah he just does he just says the f word and everybody's like oh yeah bill nye broke the internet duty cause no twitter moment but i think like there's so many galaxies out there and there's so many possibilities for life that we will never be able to explore that i just think that there has to be something out there and i'm not saying it's humans like us walking around but like it wouldn't surprise me if there were just some types of larger masses like larger than microscopic

organisms going around and doing shit interacting yeah wow wow according to the report the pilots who reported the aerial phenomena speculated that the objects were part of some classified at an extremely advanced drone program in another instance one pilot told lieutenant graves that he almost hit one of those things and that he described it as looking like a sphere encasing a cube what the fuck is that holy shit i don't like that spooks the squadron that an aviation flight safety report was filed. Don't spook my squad. The near miss, he and other pilots interviewed said, angered the squadron. I hate it when things anger the squadron. Don't anger the squad.

What was that vine that you had? It was like a dude. It was Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. That's not good for you or the squad. I don't think that's good for you or the squad. I used to love using that on Twitter. You did.

It never got the love it deserved. It didn't. No, a lot. Dude, my Vine was underrated. Let's bring it back. I did have. I was in the Millie Club on Vine, though. Million Loops.

I've done that. It's not a big deal. No, did you? Yep. You did it after me. I know you didn't. No, that's not true. No, it's definitely true.

No. No, it's definitely true. But, dude. I'm into it. I'm into stuff like this man there's a love it there's a story like about a pilot and his wingman over like virginia beach and they're flying and what i'm just imagining one of these things being the pilot and the homies his wingman oh shit just on their way to west doing drone strikes on What? Wow. There's nowhere to land on West 6th, man. You can't just land on the street.

And it flies. It brazenly flew between them. I don't like that. What if... Sphere encasing a cube. What if... That doesn't sound like anything I'm aware of. I don't want that, fam.

Dylan and I are driving down Mopac, and all of a sudden, this fucking thing goes between my Ford Fusion and his whatever you have. That's scary. You probably wouldn't even notice. You're texting and stuff. Yeah, I won't even see it. You'd be the worst naval pilot. You'd just be up at 30,000 fucking shooting off tech. They don't even let you have your phone in there, I'm pretty sure.

So I'd be okay. They'd be like, what would be your pilot name name i don't know i don't know uh striker uh striker you're at 30 000 feet what's going on up there noticing you're kind of uh going in and out of the lines are you okay striker i'm trying to get a tweet off sorry sir yeah i'm trying to go micro sir i guess you see, those pilots take selfies and shit when they're doing crazy maneuvers. So I guess there are phones up there sometimes. Striker, do you have a hinge match over? Do you think it's like bringing your phone into the Masters? Like you just run that wrist to get the dope gram off?

Maybe. You get banned for life if they catch you. I was taking a picture of Sistine Chapel. She did what? She got her phone in, taking a picture of Sistine Chapel she did what? she got her phone in, took a photo who? Lily that pisses me off that's a trash move respect the ground

did she know what she was doing? I'm going to report her and have her banned can you imagine if you're her fiance and you get banned by association. Oh, dude, you might catch some of this heat. No. They'll ban the entire bloodline.

I wasn't there. No, I'm not bloodline. Wait, what? If I'm him, will they really? If I'm him, I'm acting like I don't even know her. If you're with her, will they ban you too or just her? Dude, if you're with her and you're engaged to her, do you act like you don't know her? Yeah.

Oh, hell yeah. And you just look her in the eye and you're like, I don't fucking know you. Stop taking pictures of me. I feel violated right now. I can't believe she did that. What part of the course was she on? I don't remember. It was in front of some scoreboard.

She did get a photo. Shaking my head. Like, what? Come on. Oh, it wasn't like a secretive, like, here's, like, she was actually, like, posed for a picture? Her fiancé, Drew, did. Man, trash move on his part. Wow.

He knows better, too. I mean, yeah. He's a big golf guy. We actually have... I might get us in trouble saying this. There's a number of members of Augusta National that listen to this podcast. There are.

And they might be banned now. Is it true that we have a phone call from Condoleezza on Friday's Patreon episode? Mm-hmm. Actually, this is a good time to announce something for all the people out there.

Special guest on this Friday's Patreon episode. Hey, I'd heard of him. I'd heard of him before. Are you heard of him before are you gonna be doing it now no no we'll go i thought you i thought you had your thing moved no no i moved my flight on the i'm flying back earlier from when you find back saturday night what time i had to see the boys what time you're getting in late really late i'm actually worried that i think the flight that i rescheduled on is going to get canceled,

so I still might fly out Sunday morning. Oh, okay. I'm one of four people on this Spirit Airlines flight. Yeah, I'm flying Spirit. Do we need to say who the special guest is? Some people will know him as Producer Micah. Other people know him as Michael Weiner. Other people know him as Michael Wiener. Some people know him as Michael Wiener. Some people know him as Michael Weiner. Other people know him as Michael Weiner.

Some people know him as Michael Weiner. Some people know him as the Battletoad Bad Boy. Battletoad Bad Boy. Nephew of... Anthony Weiner. Anthony Weiner. Mickey Weins, sometimes we call him. Mikey Weins. Mikey Weins.

Also a guy who throws trash cans into metal... I guess cans into metal trash cans during podcasts. Johnny Dallas. Yeah, a man of many names. I'm bummed i can't be here for the south i always imagine just just like doing a four-man pod for this but i i can't be here i expect him to bring all the heat the south lamar lover no one calls it the south lamar lover he is the grill master of our apartment complex though that grill they should just get they name it. When he moves out and doesn't renew his lease, they should just call it the Micah Wiener Memorial Grill because that's all he does.

God, to be good at grilling, I know it's a nice setup, but to be good at that is such a, I partied in my dorm room. I partied with the RAs and stuff move. I went to the dorm-sponsored parties my freshman year. What? To be good at grilling? To be good at apartment grilling. If you use that often, that's the vibe I get.

No, no, no. Not at all for him. It's right outside. His patio opens up to the grill. It does. It's a perfect situation. It puts off RA vibes, though. Yeah, for sure.

But he's going to be hosting with you guys. I'm jealous. I can't wait to have him on, man. I appreciate him filling in for me. Are we going to tease the interview we're doing later? No. I don't think we should. In case it doesn't happen?

Word's falling through. I have little confidence it's going to happen. I'm really scared for some reason. Do we need to borrow? We need to get that fourth mic. Oh, yeah. Great call. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Great call. Oh, yeah. Great call. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Great call. Oh, yeah. What? Let's do this weekend of fun. Guess what I just got in my inbox? What? Recap of The Bachelorette.

Nice. Episode three. Patreon.com. Love to see that. It'll be up in the next hour. I have to do some editing. Let's do this weekend of fun. As always,

it's sponsored by Ice and Howers in Austin, Texas. On Rainy Street. You actually might be able to catch us there this Sunday. I was there on Saturday and I was gassed up

maybe harder than I've ever been by one of our listeners so I appreciate that. Thank you so much. I forgot your name, young lady. She works at our gym by the way, Dave.

Forgot her name. Really nice. She came up to us and it was nice. Nice little moment. Hey, I gotta give a shout out to a listener named Tanner who I ran into on Rainy

at a different bar. It was a bit. No, his name was Tanner. He acknowledged that his name is a punchline on this song. Sorry about that that he did help me carry a number of water loos and beers up the stairs to where we were um i pretty much forced it upon him okay he didn't look completely comfortable with me doing that but i had to do it to you tanner but thanks man hey whatever go to eisenhower's it's fucking great i love it i actually i could

see us going there for a couple drinks on this sunday yeah with intern klein it could happen just saying oh hell yeah yeah the the if the more you think about the more it adds up yeah keep an Yeah. Keep an eye out. Dylan, start us off. Okay, I'll start. Friday, we have a friend coming in town from the big city, New York. He'll be here. Is it Big Cat? It's not Big Cat, unfortunately. And we're going to go probably do a dinner somewhere and probably hit a bar afterward.

Oh, let me back up. Might be playing golf Friday. Wow. Might be playing golf Friday. I haven't played in a minute. Neither have I. It's borderline too hot already. It's getting warm out.

The mornings are great. Yeah, that's true. Saturday, Sunday, I'm not entirely sure. I might go to Houston on Saturday Wow A little quick getaway And then back early Sunday

That's probably what's gonna happen here Okay And then yeah Link it back up with the squad on Sunday And hit Eisenhower's obviously Damn What's Houston? Just going to visit a friend I think

We have a problem Get it? Alright Yeah I don't fucking know I am playing golf Friday I don't know what this guy is doing we might have a golf thing we made a tea time you know how I've complained in the past

about being in a group text where people make plans I'm kind of fucking annoyed that I wasn't in this group text even though I'm not going to be here well you you're out of the state i know like i just want like that's the kind of thing that like i want to be involved in how do we feel about me moving the reddit ama to to thursday in order to clear the runway for golf on friday for me i mean you're going to be recording tomorrow. Yes, I'm away. Not the entire day, obviously. No, you're doing the marathon pod with Micah tomorrow. I could do the AMA at noon.

High noon. It's your call. I don't really care. Can't wait for Mind of Micah. Okay, I think I'll do that. I think I'll do the AMA tomorrow. Woo! Just cool.

Tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow. Then what are you doing, Dave? Friday night, probably do din. Probably get a res somewhere. After dinner, probably go maybe grab a frap. Get a second wind off of that frap. Respect.

Please don't say frap anymore. Go hit a bar ski. Bars, beers, buzzed. Waitress is hot. Maybe go to Dirty Beezy's. Dirty Bill's. No, I don't know. I'll probably go to dinner though.

We'll see about it. Saturday. I like that your Saturday plan is to eat dinner. No, my Saturday plan. Listen to this. The guy who's organizing this deal, he wants to play golf again. He's texted me twice about it this morning. I haven't responded just because I don't,

I haven't really want to put thought into how I could make that happen or if I should. So I've just ghosted on the text. I respect that. Yeah. I was left off that one. Well, you're going to be in Houston.

I was left off all of them. So. Well, you should switch your flight. Saturday. I got no plan, but I may get out. I don't know. If the weather's good, maybe do some stand-up paddle boarding or some shit. Get out.

Just do some stuff that makes me feel good about living in Austin. Now's the time. Now's the time. I've never seen so many paddle boarders out as I did on Saturday. You got to be careful out there. You talk about flying at 30,000 feet. It might be more

dangerous flying at sea level on a paddleboard. I don't want to get smoked by a UFO when I'm just trying to paddle. That would be the

worst. Hey, did you hear Dave went to Barton Springs? I heard. You still haven't been, man. Haven't been.

You would be the guy who can't get in the water. Shut up, dude. Shut the fuck up. It is cold. Shut up. Dude, it's colder than you think it is. Oh, it's definitely colder than you think, man. Haven't been. You would be the guy who can't get in the water. Shut up, dude. Shut the fuck up. It is cold. Shut up. Dude, it's colder than you think it is.

Oh, it's definitely colder than you think. I've been trying to tell you that. No, it definitely is cold. But it's not too cold. No, dude. Stop. If there's one thing people in the north can do better than people in the south, it's getting cold-ass water.

100%. You look like you just cliff dive off glaciers and shit. No, but like, dude, when it's summertime in northern Michigan, sorry, you have to train yourself

to get in cold water or else you're not swimming. The lake freezes, the lake like thaws out like two months prior. You think your body is better acclimated

to cold water than mine? Yeah. Okay. No doubt. You forget Will's from North of the Wall. Yeah. I'm the Jon Snow of this podcast. He's not from North of the Wall.

Not completely inaccurate, but I'm not going to let you do that. Oh, Will. I'm actually going to Michigan this weekend. First time in a minute. Going to Detroit, the Girls' Point area. Got some family business to take care of. Going to have some fun as well.

Going to, I'm just doing family stuff. Okay. It's going to be tight. Family style. We got big dinners. We got some bars I've been told

that we're hitting. We're doing a celebration of sorts. We're celebrating life, guys. It's beautiful out there. It's going to be fun though. I haven't seen, dude, I haven't seen my sister in two and a half years since her wedding.

Are you kidding me? That's a long time. You should get up there. She lives in Montana. She doesn't leave. Why don't you go to Montana? It's a dope state. I know.

I need to. You know what? Be a better brother. I know. I know. That's all I'm saying. I'm hanging out with the fam. It's going to be great.

That's interesting that you're a trash brother. Yeah. I'm going to get bomb fam. It's going to be great. That's interesting that you're a trash brother. Yeah. I'm going to get bombarded with wedding questions from everybody. Bombarded by probably my aunts and uncles being like, so what are you doing these days? Oh, man. So how do I subscribe to your podcast? Oh, don't. Just don't. That's 100% what's going to happen every single conversation.

My dad still doesn't know how to access a podcast. Dude, my dad doesn't care. I've explained it to him. Like, dude, I've been doing this for over three years now. Like, figure it out. My dad asked me some questions about, like, our new venture recently. And I was just like, you clearly have no clue what I've been doing for the past, like, four years. Wait, you guys got a business plan?

Yeah. Wait, how do you guys make money again? So, like, just ads. Ads is... They get it. Yeah. You just have to... Patreon is what really throws...

It melts their brains. Yeah. Yeah. That's the cube wrapped in a sphere that you see flying, and you're like, ah, no. Yeah, nah. I'm going to go back to the carrier. Yeah.

But yeah, then I'm... I don't know. We'll see. My Spirit Airlines flight is definitely going to get canceled on Saturday night, so I'll probably just keep my Southwest reservation for Sunday morning. What's that airport look like up there if you get stranded? DTW? Depends what terminal you're in,

but if you're in the good one, you're set. Is there like a Chili's 2? Definitely a Chili's 2. They have a lot of different stuff there. I might just go dumb up in Brooks Brothers. I've got an activity I want us to do. Finish this and I'll say it at the end because that just made me think of it.

I'm done. We should go to Chili's one of these days and just go fucking hard only if they do the two for one beers yeah I just don't want to though why I don't know

I can't go hard anymore no I'm not saying I'm booze I'm thinking more on food oh okay I mean there's gonna be some booze involved but I'm thinking more like

I'll dip three times let's go go get like a really hard workout in so we don't feel as bad. All right. We toss that fried junk into the incinerator. Get that Metabo kicking. Would you shut up? Get our fucking munch on.

Dude, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but Texas is going to lose this to Stanford. Really? How many holes in are they? The match with the least holes in is Schiavone, the guy that won last night in extras. He's through 11. The rest are through 12, 13, 14. Okay.

How much? Let me see. How many? I mean, is it all? Well. What's the biggest lead? What's the hammer doing? Tell me about the hammer.

The hammer's getting smoked. He's down 3 through 13. Okay, that's doable. The Hammer might have peaked when he beat the Wolf. Yeah, I think he had a big come down to that. The Hammer versus the Wolf sounds like an episode of Game of Thrones. There needed to be a character named the Hammer. Yeah.

We have Jack Hammer, but it's not quite the same. Yeah. Dan just didn't Game of Thrones. Dan just didn't came. Dan and Aaron Rodgers? What would... House Register? No, House Hammer? House...

Yeah. Lord Hammer. Dan of House Hammer. Or Jack of House Hammer. Jack of House Hammer. Will you pledge your bannerman to the cause? Yeah, I guess. Do I need to put on headphones right now?

Dan's just... Dan commits his bannermen, but then he starts betting on all the wars. He's like, I got the king in the north at plus 200. I got the Boltons in the Battle of Bast 200. I got the Boltons in the Battle of the Bastards. All right, damn, Dan. And he's just texting you. He's like,

holy shit, the Knights of the Veil. That totally fucked me. Oh, this is fun. We're having fun now. Thanks to everybody supporting our Patreon. I just logged in.

I can't even describe how good you guys are to us. Yeah, very good. We've been getting hella columns off in here lately, too. No, I mean, like, people, like, the comments I make mainly. Like, we got a really nice message from a young lady yesterday. What'd she say? It was very personal, but it was noted.

I didn't know how to respond. I did see it. But, no, thank you all for supporting us. I'm actually, the reason I logged in here is to post Crick. I don't just randomly log in to. Let's get out of here. Yeah, let's go. Post Crick, everyone will be happy.

Cool. All right, later. Bye. Outro Music