Circling Back - Unhinged Politicians, Worst Of Stories, And This Thanksgiving In Fun

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

As Dave announced early in the episode, it is indeed Podcast Week despite it being a short week. We discuss our Weekends in Fun, George Santos's credit card charges, Argentina's new president, two (2) surprise Worst Of stories, and This Thanksgiving in Fun. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:18) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (31:14) We Should Follow Argentinian Politics (42:00) Going Through George Santos Credit Card Bill (50:00) The Worst Of: Fake IDs in Vegas & Lakehouse Randos (1:07:48) This Thanksgiving in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Alfa Romeo Tonale: www.alfaromeousa.com  DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (code: WASHED for $150) Aura Frames: www.auraframes.com (CIRCLING for $40 off) Shopify: www.shopify.com/circling ($1/month trial) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin texas my name is will to freeze to my left mr thanksgiving david ruff you know it was uh i was out about this morning running some errands and uh ran into a big group of listeners that just happened to be hanging out um they were hanging out smoking cigarettes skateboarding that's sick and they were like hey man love the show love what you are doing but they were they were lamenting the fact that um you know because of the holiday short week short week short week uh that it wasn't podcast week and i was like you guys sitting down and they're like you're looking right at us like we're clearly sitting down and they were and i was like it's it's actually podcast week where did they all start banging

their trucks against the coping yeah there well yeah i love doing that yeah it was cool and then after that like one was like you wanna you wanna take a spin just kind of rolled his board out to me and i got it and i acted like i was gonna do like a like an ollie you hit a kicky and i ended up not doing it because i was wearing um dress shoes i was wearing my ferragamos so i was like dude just playing with y'all here and i i rolled it back to him with using my foot and they're like dude you're the best man dude you always run monday errands in your ferragamos yeah just skate parks yeah skate parks yeah skate park right down by me it's a it's new. It's an initiative that I went to the city council, and I was like, hey, we need more funding for skate parks.

Have you seen that? And they did it. Bike ramp track, dirt bike. Not dirt bike. A dirt bike track. It's like behind. Yes. Like right off Lamar.

It's weird. Have you seen it, Will? No. It's fucking cool. No, I haven't. It's kind of behind Shoal Creek Saloon over there.ar? It's weird. Have you seen it, Will? No. It's fucking cool. No, I haven't. It's kind of behind Shoal Creek Saloon over there. Okay.

It's sick. I feel like that's getting really popular. I feel like mountain biking and especially those tracks that are out everywhere are really bustling up. Some pretty aggressive jumps.

I've always wondered how you get into that because as a kid, my parents bought me a mountain bike and never in my wildest dreams did I think, I need to go hit some jumps in the woods. Yeah, I don't know. Like I know you're supposed to mountain bike with your mountain bike in the woods.

But as a kid, it was just never something that like we actually cared about. We just wanted to mob and pop wheelies. This feels more like a BMX style bike. Yeah. Like what's that famous BMX biker? Matt Hoffman? The Condor? Like it's a place he would hang out you think the condor is hanging out there if if he were from uh central austin sure just be clear dave is there is there actually a new skate park down by your crib um yeah and like they they named it they named it the the duff Future Memorial Skate Park.

Because I'm obviously still around, so it's not memorializing me yet. Oh, okay. So it wasn't the Dave Ruff and Future Memorial Skate Park. That's quite an honor. Yeah. They have just some bronze Ferric Amos up there. Yeah. That's sick, dude.

It's pretty cool, man. You should come down sometime. I know you don't skate anymore, but. I'll watch you do your thing. Fritz on my board in the back of the car the other day, and he was just like, I want that. And I was like, dude, not a player. Get him on the board. That's dad's toy.

It's just like a scooter. Minus the handlebars. Yeah, but the issue with skateboards is that they just run into shit so much harder for some reason. to shit so much harder for some reason is it is it like skiing and snowboarding where like you get them started when they're young because they've got the low center of gravity and they end up just getting really really good because that was the thing that stood out to me when i went skiing at one time like that all these little like three and four year olds were just tearing ass down the mountain when i first started teaching skiing my like my first ever lesson was with a 20 yearyear-old guy.

And it was nearly impossible to teach him how to ski. One, it was my first ever lesson, so I wasn't a good instructor. But two, having a full-grown adult and teaching them those kind of skills, like there's so much more that goes into it. You put a three-year-old in some boots, you plop them right there, they can't move. They're just going down the hill getting comfortable. They can't fall. And if they do fall, it's so inconsequential.

If like a 20-year-old falls for the first time on skis, like they might hurt something very badly. That's facts, man. He also didn't speak English. Oh. He had flown in that day from South America. And I was just like, cool, you're really setting this guy up for failure.

He was doing tricks by the end of the lesson, I'm sure. Oh, dude, I'm sure. Yeah, he was just skiing backwards with me dylan shivery ladies and gentlemen i don't have any any cool anecdotes like run into some uh some listeners skateboarders at a park you gotta get out more that was named after me but i am very happy to be here on podcast week it's going to be a short but strong week of content do we not want to talk about the elephant in the room it's your mustache it's a shame there's no video because i'm mustached right now and i gotta tell you it looks pretty fucking dope i mean i don't want to like talk too much about the weekend

because like obviously we're going to recap this weekend in fun very soon but when when the mustache made its first appearance there was a tangible buzz surrounding the entire restaurant you were talking it up last week do you still you still feel good about my mustache you for a long time i don't know if this is still your profile photo on twitter because i muted you but oh um you used to have a photo of you with just a straight mustache and like i thought it was i thought it was the coolest you've ever looked yeah i admit because like you have the build of a guy who can have a mustache and look like very like like official with it oh that's a good thing like you don't look like very like, like official with it. Oh, that's a good thing.

Like you don't look like you're doing a bit. You like, you have the same, you have the same, what would I call it? Let's be clear, I was doing a bit. Dave cut it off as a bit and then like four years later, he's like, oh, it's still a bit. Yeah. He's scared to shave. But like, if I do a mustache,

it more just looks like I'm like trying to be a hipster and do something different. If you did a mustache- You're just so freaking huge. Oh, my mustache has never been bigger than it is right now. So thin. There's reasons for this. If you kept it at that length and shaped and left just a stache, it would look like a bit because it's such an aggressive mustache.

It looks like a costume. Yeah, it does. It's like you bought it at Party City or whatever. So I'm considering doing this. I don't really like Christmas card photos in general. This morning, I had the absolute pleasure of going with my family and just taking some very peaceful and well thought out photos where everything went really well. But now that that's behind us, now the only picture I have to take is for Sally's family

Christmas card photo. And I would love to have a giant ass mustache for this. And so I have intentionally not been shaving the actual mustache part because we are each taking individual photos of ourselves and submitting them after so like i don't i don't need clearance from anybody for anything i can just send it in how would uh mrs defries feel about it and also uh the family i don't think either would like it very much okay but that's kind of it's kind of what you're i kind of i kind of want to mess with everybody i kind of want to have like hey remember in 2023 when we'll just had a giant ass mustache for our christmas card you get the foo man that you could grow

would be there's a scenario with the wear that way that my hair grows in that it's like a very western style that's just like big and bushy and i'm scared that if i start to shave it that way i won't do it correctly and i'll have to abandon chip and just do the whole thing like that yeah there's a lot like you have to be very careful with what you're gonna do now that i'm really looking at it yeah the way that it grows in too i don't want to like i want it to grow naturally not to upkeep it a lot could be a sick like a civil war era exactly yeah exactly yeah union side probably probably i mean you know i am from michigan so i think i would go up there just want to put that i could be a neutral

photographer sure with with a personal allegiance to the union sure yeah yeah anyway yeah i can see you just you just he's just scoping this out i'm noticing how uh towards the uh after it gets past the lip it starts to curl the other way so like i don't want you to do this but there is an opportunity for a rally finger i know i know there is wax those tips so usually i usually i just take my buzzer and i brush it through my mustache to thin it out and then i'll trim it with scissors i have not touched it for like a month because i want it to be i if i if i choose to deploy this i would like it to be as big as humanly possible i like that deploy is it difficult sip drinking out of a cup

uh is it does it run down your beard because when i when i first started to dabble the facial hair and i had like the stash coming in the first thing i noticed was that drinking as it became more difficult for me and mine is nothing like yours no it's not that me, the annoying part is food that gets around the sides of your mouth that you would normally just be able to wipe off with something. Then that starts to just get in your beard. And so you have to like, I wash my beard more than I wash my head. Like I wash it pretty much every night now because I famously got enchiladas yesterday and I could just feel the tomatillo in the corners of my, it was just tomatillo yeah dude i hit him with the quinch a lot of order yesterday do you guys are you guys familiar with the quinch a lot i got them uh per your recommendation i mean anytime you can

get some some ground beef and cheese with tomatillo sauce you gotta try it that's facts dylan have you noticed anything since you got the since you're just a stash guy like eating drinking what do you mean dave well you just ask will if it's if stuff gets caught in there Since you're just a stash guy? Like eating, drinking? What do you mean, Dave? Well, you just ask Will if stuff gets caught in there. This is the length my mustache has been for a very long time. So it's not like a new thing for me. So it hasn't affected your Saturday nights with the two girls?

Okay. No, it hasn't. Thanks, Dave. I don't even know what Dave's talking about. But no, it hasn't affected my Saturday nights with the two girls. Y'all don't even realize that I'm on my invisible straw grind, so I don't really have to worry about cups at this point. I got my fucking 64-ounce hydro jug just strapped to me. We know about it.

You've talked about it several times. It's a kettlebell. Yeah. Dude, I have definition in my arms for the first time maybe ever. If an intruder comes in, I'm reaching for that thing, and then that is going to be out like a light. You know it's going to make a funny ass sound once it bonks him. Boom.

Boom. I'm on the news. Like Sally's like standing there like, oh yeah, it's the scariest thing ever. Yeah, no, I just hit it with my hydro jug. It's got an invisible straw. Check it out. You don't even have to tip it over.

You can just suck it. It looks like a little, it looks like you'd put a, like the coyote would put a rope through it and try to drop it on the roadrunner's head. Barrett said it looked like it was going to extend my Wi-Fi. Yeah, that thing's sick. He's not wrong.

He's not wrong. Oh my God. We got a lot of stuff to talk about today, boys. First and foremost, right now, 20% off site-wide at roback.com slash backer20 that's 20 off site wide at roback.com slash backer 20 whoa go make that happen and to add to that if i may it is not just for uh new users anyone can use this code backer 20 in the old days a few days ago um it's a one-time use code this everyone it's

available to everyone so you're saying the whole family eats right now rollback.com slash backer 20 i'm sending this out to the boys automatically be applied at checkout go get your well months polo go get some gifts for all the whole squad this christmas rollback.com slash backer20. Some programming notes. Tomorrow, we will be doing our Patreon episode this week. Given that Thursday's a national holiday, we will not be launching an episode on Thursday. So tomorrow, we're just doing straight up just vibe mails. Just chilling, dude.

Just kicking it back, relaxing all cool. Some guys in the garage having a couple beers and listening to voicemails. Like last week's vibe mails. It was an all-time episode. I don't know if people were ready for the shift

from voicemails to vibe mails. I would like the listeners to plan accordingly with their vibe mails. Stop leaving voicemails. Just leave a vibe mail at 888-618-4422.

Yeah. Go check out wash.substack.com and I hate to say it, Randy's out of town for the next week. So not only do we not have video this week, but we will not have video Monday either. Randy's up in Indiana just mobbing with his fam. I wanted to hear about his weekend and fun.

It's probably a good one. Probably a good one. Oh, yeah. It's time, boys. Let's recap. This weekend and fun presented by the fun friends over at Alfa Romeo. Y'all know what I'm talking about. It's that new Tenale that you've been seeing on the streets.

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You are in that. It's got the plug-in hybrid technology, the freedom to choose between gas or electric. Go make it happen. Learn more about the Alfa Romeo Tonale at alfaromeousa.com. Again, that's alfaromeousa.com. Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? Thanks for asking, Will. I'll focus on Saturday mostly because Saturday was the day.

asking will i'll focus on saturday mostly because saturday was the day but yeah had a little uh supposed to go to um a brewery with some fam had a little a sickness my niece was sick had fever running so that was canceled so it was all about the uh the wedding shower which was a lot of fun great great vibes great place and when the party ends and the host is like by the way we have like 1700 to spend before we reach our minimum at the bar it's it's fucking on like just order go go order whatever you want and it was the full bar menu available to us quite the scene i finally mustered up to go get something like expensive and uh they had shut the bar down we put away some uh i i personally put away quite a bit of sake that night i did sake and i i famously am not a sake guy how are you not a sake guy dude what do we got to do to get

you on this train it's honestly it's i will do it in a social setting if like we're at a fun dinner and everybody's doing it like mako remember back in the day when we used to go to mako dude that was a sake time there was nothing like the vibes in austin texas when i first moved here and it was like what are we doing this weekend 616 mako mats what's happening what's happening mako was like go get ripped uh and eat sushi for 25 dollars a person it was awesome it was the best deal in town easily there's gonna be a time in my life where i look back like i don't know fritz and charlie are off at college and i look back and i'm like man austin in 2017 was just like would it the best would it be too austin niche if you did the vince mcmahon with telling my son about mako in 2017 telling my son about when mako was

on sixth street i mean because that was the time. When you could get sake bombs for what? Five bucks? Is Mako still around? I don't know. That's a question for Magic Bullet. That would be embarrassing if it was. Rumors that it shut down.

The rumors it was still going. Well, they did something that not a lot of restaurants do, is that they did reverse happy hour. So the later it got, the better the deals got, which it was like, oh, so you mean we can go out right before going out and just get torched here for nothing it was always happy oh it's the best other than that parks is still he's out of town he's in california i miss the shit out of him but he has an ipad and he he texts me from it which is it's great like i look i'll wake up to and i love you text from parks that's what's up

very touching it makes my day that's what's up. It's very touching. It makes my day. That's what's up. It's very cute. He's been texting you too, right? Yeah, different text. Just says, hey, fuck you. Really? Yeah, I'm like, what? I don't need to talk to him about his language.

I'm like, what did I do? What a kid. Anyway, that's my weekend. Dave, go ahead. Yeah. You know, Friday, so my mother-in-law was in town. And Friday night did not go out because I knew Saturday was going to be a crazy event happening. So I made a hot toddy.

I made one hot toddy because I wasn't under the weather. Dude, I told you about my toddy. I know I did. I think you did, but I would like- Cinnamon stick. Oh, yeah. I had some cinnamon sticks. You put the magic stick up in there, dude. Yeah, from the carnitas uh i had some leftover cinnamon sticks dropped one in

and i wasn't feeling bad but i was a little like allergies a little bit so i was like i'm just gonna lay low sat on the couch had a toddy and um tried to find something new to watch i thought about doing jumping into the challenge but uh ended up just jumping into like season three Sopranos a little bit more. I know. Once you get in the challenge, Dave, you can get welcomed into a certain group chat. I want to get into it. With me and Klein. So it's not a group chat.

It's just kind of a text message conversation right now. More of a side text. Yeah, it's more just us talking. Okay. Did anybody respond to his text today? Hey, man, I was busy taking family photos this morning. I haven't had time to look at shit. I was talking to those backers who were smoking cigarettes.

No one did. All right, well, hit him with a thumbs up. Yeah, can you hit him with a ha-ha right now? That's a late-ass ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. He's going to hit us with the I hate y'all at like 8 o'clock tonight

you're so funny was in bed at like 1130 it was great Saturday everything was just kind of in preparation for the wedding shower delightful event I'll give you a complete rundown of my beverage consumption started off with an old fashioned

with the, uh, Elijah Craig there. Uh, I don't know if it's an oak barreled bourbon. I don't know what it was. It was like the toasted barrel bourbon or something. It was a, it was a nice bourbon. And I was like, okay, had one of those great start, uh, pivoted over to, uh, a Singha, the, uh, beer of thailand which is always a good play had three of those then i saw everybody doing the sake in the in the box and they're like well you know it's good luck if you drink it out of the box i'm like well you know i'm a real man i make my own luck billy zane but i also i'm looking for help where i can get it and uh so I did a few Sockies. I did three Sockies, drank it out of the box like a player, got a glass of wine. Like a player.

Alyssa wanted a sip of wine. So she's like, we get a glass of wine. I'm like, yeah, I'll get a glass. So I drank that. And then I went back to Singha. Did you hit it with that Gruner? And then, I don't know. A lot of people talking about that Gruner at that party. Is that what I should have done? Just a crisp white? Oh, no, I definitely went red. I went with the Pinot. And then I did, you know, I got myself back to level. I did a sparkling water with a lemon in it, which totally prevented any kind of hangover

or lasting effects on my body. Hey, that did it. I want to congratulate you on doing a rinse cycle, David. Thank you. A lot of people aren't doing those enough. I forgot to rinse. Actually, I did rinse once. I didn't do any rinse cycles at the party.

I'm sorry. I did one cycle. You did one? One cycle. A un one? One cycle. A unicycle? Yeah. Went to Deep Eddie after that where they had – Have you ever seen this?

They had a projector screen pulled down in the middle of the bar, right? Like separating the bar from the pool tables. And they had the Texas game on it. I wish it was always like that. It was great. Just do that every single time. The quality was strong. It was a little intrusive for people walking around.

Mr. Eddie, if you're listening right now, please do that every single time. The quality was strong. It was a little intrusive for people walking around. Mr. Eddie, if you're listening right now, please do that every single time. Did one pitcher. Had a couple draft beers. And like Scherzer. DeGrom. DeGrom. DeGrom's only for the boys. And then, you know, Dylan, when I was waiting for my Uber,

I was getting some vibes from Pool Burger and I was very hungry because, well, I did go very hard on the food. I walked down to Pool Burger and looked in, and they were still serving burgers, and I was like – You got a burger? I thought about it, and then I saw the crowd in there, and I was like – Burger my man up. I don't want to hear you think about it.

I want to hear you – Yeah, don't just look at it. I was like – I would have eaten it there, and I would have – I feel like I would have looked sad, like, solo eating a burger. It's something different about being there solo drinking a beer versus, like, just pounding a burger. No, man. That's when you're really living.

I went two plates at the buffet. I did, too. I was – I needed more – and you know I couldn't do Brussels sprouts. I know. Biggest tease of the night. I hate to say, Dave. They were fantastic.

They were – Yes! I caught a little bit of the glaze. Yeah. Yeah, could you get some overflow glaze? i caught a little bit of the glaze yeah yeah could you get some could you get some overflow glaze i gotta toss it on your i got your eyes i got straight up glazed yeah okay good they're calling me just glaze oh okay and then yesterday was um you know a little football red zone bro all time stay in in lounge weather day yesterday

i showed you guys my my uh my scene uh as I was watching the game on my laptop. Somebody said, what's on the big TV? It was Mickey Mouse Club. We're back to that. Yeah. So I was just sitting there getting TV cucked.

If any developers out there at YouTube TV want to figure out a way to put one single cartoon on the quad box, I'm listening. That would go hard. Just one single cartoon.

That would cartoon a good play not asking for a lot but maybe just a kid-friendly one i don't know maybe nickelodeon can do that shitty game they try to do earlier this season every time and we can just have that in the quad slime bowl yeah that that went really well oh no the toy story one too yeah the toy story one like didn't work yeah like oh it was amazon it was okay or disney i guess probably but what'd you do? I saw you Saturday. I mean, here's the thing.

Friday night was a big night for me for numerous reasons. I got to have my first ever solo father night with two children in the house. A lot of people are wondering how it went. I deploy a method where if Sally asks how things are going while she's out, all I do is thumbs up the message because I don't want her to know if I'm in the trenches or not. I want her to think like, wow, Will's like the man. I have to say. He's got this.

I crushed it. I crushed it. What did you do for dinner? See, I was kind of hoping you wouldn't ask, but I know it was part of the narrative. I talked a big game about ordering in. Fritz wanted – he wanted dinner, so I made him a pizza. I allowed him to play Zockhart on a Friday night. I figured prime time was a good time to do it.

Once the pizza was out of the oven, he decided he did not want pizza anymore. Oh, classic. He wanted breakfast for dinner. So I made him a full breakfast for dinner. Fuck yeah, dude. Eggs, sausage, toast. Toss a little bougie butter on that toast. Even a little jam on there. Damn.

He didn't want it. What? So yeah. So instead of ordering in, your boy had a personal pizza and breakfast for dinner. You know, it's good to not waste food. So that's a smart move. Kids, man. Yep, kids man yep yep yep kids bro what did he want uh goldfish and uh yogurt what's up dude yeah yeah it was why do kids love

yogurt so freaking much i don't know man i mean it's to be honest i feel like adults need to normalize pouches like why are we not eating yogurt out of pouches more often it's so much more efficient very convenient because it's great they're done with it in like two minutes or less yeah just pouch me up that's a player i didn't know what i was going to do that night so i decided i was going to do something that sally would never have wanted me to do while she was home and so i just put on a i put on a grateful dead show that i knew nothing about i didn't even i didn't look up the playlist or anything and i just sat there and i just i I just watched it with Charlie who was grunting with gas for about three hours. And yeah, we just vibed out. So yeah, we, we hit a nice little July 1990 show. I can tell you guys more about it if you'd

like, but I'll spare you the details. Was it a Sunday show? No, it was not a Sunday show. It was, it was one of their, it was the keyboardist's last show. Oh yeah. I didn't know that until the end of the show. And that was kind of a downer on the keyboardist last show. Oh yeah. I didn't know that until the end of the show. And that was kind of a downer on the night. Once I realized that there was some, some weight. Have you ever watched any of the shows where Bruce Hornsby is playing with the band? Yes. Yes. Yes. How, where did this come from? I just, I, I, I love Bruce Hornsby and I, I knew that was in his bag.

I knew he had a couple of years, maybe not even a couple of years, but I knew he had performed with the dead for a little bit. It's awesome. I love, I love Hornsby. I was actually at the record store yesterday and I was looking for some Hornsby vinyls and they had nothing. That's a glaring omission. I had to reconsider even going there in the future.

And then, yeah, Saturday, you know what it was. I really wanted to meet you guys at Deep Eddy, but what I've learned is that I cannot go home before going out again if I'm already out with two kids, because then you just get sucked into the vortex. And suddenly I was just like taking body shots, sat down on the couch for about two minutes and fell asleep before the Texas game even ended. Wait, so you didn't actually do body shots at home? No, no. I meant like- Okay. Like a liver shot. Proverbial, you know, metaphorical body shots at home no no but i meant like okay you know like yeah a liver shot proverbial you know metaphorical body shots yeah yeah yeah um but you know i mean it was it was a good weekend

overall you were right dylan about the weather yesterday just all-time chilling weather it was great all time had the windows had the doors open on the the porch all day just had some uh football on the tv and then I had some homemade chili made by my sister-in-law, Emily. And she gets a nod right now for making my top chili of 2023. Beans are not. She did put beans in. This was not your traditional Texas chili. She put in some smoked jalapeno cheddar sausage into this thing. It was a revelation. Holy shit.

I want sausage in all my chili now not all of it but if you had venison chili before no highly little venison in there helps oh man it is you see it's the juxtaposition nothing juxtaposed about that between the beans and the cumin and the venison you have a bean which famously um is soft and the venison depending on tenderness okay okay sure those two things are diametrically opposed i don't know if that makes much sense but okay sure we'll talk after the show. The more I think about it, the more I think about it, what you're saying, Dave,

I do think it's a juxtaposition. Is it the dichotomy as well? Well, you tell me. We'll talk after the show. I just thought I don't want to. No, you got a few minutes. I'll put it on your calendar. This is a warning out there for everybody to go get your errands done before tomorrow and Wednesday, because if you don't get them done today, you're going to be waiting in lines at the grocery store. Dude, I know. I mashed that wine button yesterday. I'm going at lunch. I'm cooking three dishes and I'm on wine duty for Thanksgiving.

So I got to go to the store. I went off on the wine section yesterday. I had to. You don't care what I'm making? I mean. Let me guess what you're making. You're making... Okay. You're making

mashed potatoes. Nope. Okay. Okay. 0 for 1. I get three strikes. Sweet potatoes. Casserole. Okay. That was where I was going to... I didn't think you were going to do baked potatoes. Okay. Macaroni and cheese.

No. Okay. Strike two. Two different potatoes. We'll do potatoes au gratin and sweet potato casserole. Okay. And then doing rolls, which is obviously a layout, but... That's interesting. I didn't peg you for potatoes au gratin guy.

I'm not even going to acknowledge what you just did there. Should I do beer rolls? Y'all don't even know about that shit. mean here's my rolls from thoroughbred you know about me oh yeah that's right you ordered them already right yeah we absolutely mashed the hawaiian bun button for uh leftover sandwiches yeah and i also did something that's an absolute veteran move at the grocery store yesterday i bought an extra side of gravy for the sandwiches and then i brought an extra side of cranberry sauce so we can spread that on the sandwiches as well my friend dude that's not even to see that's not even to see the table that's just straight up going to be in there for lefties damn fun fact about me i rarely will do the cranberry

sauce i don't do it unless it's on the sandwich there's something i think you know what it is i think with the bread and like the cheese and stuff like that once you put the cranberry sauce on for me i think it's the juxtaposition it's not the way it's presented on a plate out of the can like that it just seems unappealing to me you don't like the ribbed version no i liked it i liked i like how that looks for some reason it makes me feel like i'm in like like like old school times wait what old school time like don draper shit oh like the 50s yeah like i know like i know like smoking inside yeah like that kind of stuff i don't know i don't want to live in the 50s because like they had some

social stuff going on back then that i just just not i'm glad we've gotten through a little bit of all of the valuable real estate on a thanksgiving dinner plate i'm just not going to use some of that for cranberry sauce you know i think i feel like this is just in your head maybe in your hair i did pick up a cranberry yesterday you got the cranberries on vinyl shut the no facts zombie on that joint or not uh no no no no this is this is the album before it yeah yeah i it's the better album it's a top to bottom it's the better one i had to i had to do it to him being that it was one of our you know wedding songs i had to i had to pick that up for the squad yeah i'm not gonna opine on it because i don't want to linger cranberry slay that's what you

did there they slay dude yeah whether on your plate or in your earbuds, it doesn't matter. That's right, man. Yas. Should we hear from our friends over at Shopify? If you're a Shopify merchant right now, you're absolutely feasting. Because they make it easy to do pretty much everything. You guys know about Shopify. We run our store through Shopify.

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Well, markets, yeah. I set my alarm to 2 30 a.m just to pop in check it out on my phone then i get out go back to bed yeah the markets don't know morning though they never sleep so right thanks i uh i stumbled upon this um i have not been following the um argentinian elections quite as closely as some dylan i know you were sending me some stuff on this but right uh their economy's not doing great um and i stumbled upon a little article about the uh young man who was just elected the far-right libertarian um as he's put in this daily mail article he's all over my tl right now m-a-i-l or m-a-l-e he appears to be absolutely unhinged

it's a little so that these being portrayed as unhinged okay and i found this old article while he was still just a a candidate from the daily mail and uh here's the headline here could this threesome loving tantric sex coach and pro-trump rock singer who's advised by his dead dog really be the next president of argentina uh the answer is yeah turns out yes he could he's very much good i there's a video of him um he has looking at a whiteboard you may have seen the same one and it has like little things you can like peel off it's things that he plans to uh cut from the budget cutting spending and he's he's he's ripping all of them off the board of uh institutions that are already

established in argentina he's like no more like uh the diversity um it's everything it's just out the window he's cutting he's slashing budget wow is that and he also has like a bit where he's got like this chainsaw plan is he skinning ass raw he's skinning ass raw did i tell you i watched a limp biscuit concert from a few weeks ago no i should have talked about it on my weekend and fun it was the one where they all dressed up in western gear okay oh yeah yeah I went back and watched that entire set. Was it good? It was okay. They only played like six songs in like an hour.

It was really weird. There was a lot of like dicking around. Anyway. What? Yeah. So he's being portrayed as a threesome loving tantric sex coach. And I will say, this is more of a hit piece on him. But Dylan's never fucking hit one piece in his life.

I don't know. Be honest. I've hit a piece. I don't know what that means in this context, but I probably have. This dude's hair, by the way. He says he studies telepathy and uses the medium or uses a medium to communicate with Conan,

his deceased dog, best friend, who advises him on certain political matters. I want to criticize that, but if I had a medium who connected me with like Rosie in the future and Rosie could advise me, I probably wouldn't turn that down. Look, I have no issue with it either. I would do the same thing. i would use it right now i've you know family dogs would just like to check in be like hey yeah you've been following what i've been doing you see i'm doing this podcast thing now like what do you think yeah what's the vibe up there like they're in you know millie would probably be like oh what's that one guy's deal

the mustache guy i'm like oh dylan oh dylan yeah yeah yeah it's your boy we're all trying to figure that out right um well have you uh have you taken a gander at our guy our boy here i haven't even said his name to me he looks like uh brian cranston went back in time and started hosting a 70s like game show yeah uh and that's it like that like i can't i will never be able to look at this guy without thinking this is brian cranston hosting the price is right like yeah that's it. Like that, like I can't, I will never be able to look at this guy without thinking this is Brian Cranston hosting the prices, right? Like, yeah,

that's a great description. When he does debates, like, does he hold, hold like a long microphone with like the little tiny top at the end? Like, like Bob Barker, like the Bob Barker microphone.

No one's doing chops like this anymore. Was Bob Barker really into getting things spayed and neutered? Cause his last name was Barker. Wow. Never thought about that angle, did you? No, I certainly haven't. That guy just wanted to control the pet population. Like that was his thing.

He seems to be pretty beloved in Argentina. He is a self-described anarcho-capitalist. And his recent biography was titled El Loco, which means the madman. Okay. um and his recent biography was titled el loco which means the madman okay people call him argentina's trump he's a big trump guy yeah does he have the same moxie that's that's tough to say i that's that's yeah that's there's a there's a there's no uh alleged pp tape out there on this guy but if one to light, I wouldn't be shocked based on the little that I know about Mr. Malay. Okay. Okay. I've wanted to go to Argentina for a long time, but all reports from there make me like, do I need to be worried about wanting to go to Argentina right now?

I've been told that our dollar goes a long way. Is that right? Yeah. I've been told that our dollar goes a long way. Is that right? Yeah. Anyone that I've ever heard that has visited Argentina in my social circle has just had nothing bad to say about it ever. They loved it.

I don't know a ton about Argentina's political landscape. Great dove hunting, right? That's a good place to go dove hunting, yeah. Yeah. My buddy sent me a photo from like they were fly fishing in Argentina. Sick. My buddy sent me a photo from like they were fly fishing in Argentina and like there was just a white tablecloth table sitting there with like nice Argentinian wine on it and they were going to eat the fish that they just caught. And I was like, well, this seems like a chill enough sitch that I want to recreate it at some point. Yeah, that sounds really dope. Yeah, like and he said because the dollar was so good that it didn't really cost that much either.

Sign me up. didn't really cost that much either. Sign me up. When a political opponent called him a disheveled panelist who screams on a stage and sleeps with eight dogs and his sister during a debate, his only response was, I don't have eight dogs. Okay, what about the other part of that, sir?

Maybe he does have the moxie. Oh my gosh. That's a good line. He sang as a teenager in a band, Everest, a rock band that knocked out Rolling Stones covers. You guys like the Rolling Stones? They need to lead with the fact that he was in a cover band. Yeah.

Like you can't say that you were in a rock band when you were in, like you were in a cover band. Yeah, I agree. Even if you were really good, you still kind of have to know like, hey, so there are no Rolling Stones in this band, even though we're playing all rolling stones wild ass man he wanted a landslide turns out they didn't do flea wood cover sorry bro okay sorry yeah we're in a bag right now this guy's sideburns when so sideburns were really popular when i was like going through uh like puberty stage of my

life my friends could grow them and i never could i got so gel looking back on that it was not a good look at all i feel like sideburns were a big part of the baseball guy look yeah i just couldn't do it and i got so gel you mean gel still can't oh okay i can't either still can't grow sideburns i can't either it's like like hair gel now that now that my mustache guy i don't i don't care right this guy's very pro uh america do you think your mustache would pop more if you had big ass sideburns i don't think so okay so i run just not a good look okay i might go mutton chops that's what this that's what this fella this guy's rocking the chops you got the muttons oh yeah oh yeah why are they why are they called mutton chops no one knows that used to be my favorite thing to do in high school go get like just a few beers get a get our 30 rack go out and

my buddy's truck or whatever and just go mutton on a field or some shit i went mudding exactly one time in my truck in high school do you get stuck no it went well but my buddy who also went he had a chevy blazer a pretty nice chevy blazer back then like the big one you know he slid off this like little embankment into a metal um something and completely fucked up the side of his truck and so we called it a day like 20 minutes into our my one and only mudding trip people People would go two-tracking in Harbor all the time. And I feel like it was almost like they were trying to get stuck every once in a while. Two-tracking? Yeah.

That's not a term, Dr. McClain. It was fine. It's just, I don't want to call them country roads because they're not country roads. These are just two tracks that you just follow through the woods. Oh, two-tracking. Yeah, two-tracking. Oh, I never heard that. And that was, I mean, everybody's like, once never heard that. And that was a... That sounds cool. Everybody's...

Like, once you turn 16 and you got a car, everyone started two-tracking because it was either a place just to go get away from everybody in the most innocent form. It was a place to go hook up with somebody or it was a place to go smoke weed. And so, like, you would just be out on the two tracks and just see, like, people. It was cool. Did you listen to 2 Chainz while you were back there? I mean, honestly, I don't know. It was Titty Boy don't know that was when

everybody was going through like they'd get like systems stuff in their car so they'd just be like have the shittiest bass of all time

just rattling the trunk yeah you're just sitting in the back with like screws falling out of the car because it's rattling so bad oh yeah

so bad yeah it was like a badge of honor if you got stuck oh dude you here yeah dude you fucking stopped yeah dude had to a couple guys had to come out with the jeans winch yeah pull them out and one buddy with the winch on his jeep got the guy with the winch three times just staring at his phone wait for that phone call like someone's

gonna need me at some point and it's gonna make my month when sky i need i need to get somebody winched out of there he went Winch. And they were so expensive. They're very expensive. Big heavy piece of machinery on the front of your vehicle. It makes sense. It should be. But no one needs a winch. I feel like I saw someone put it on the wrong...

They put it on the body of the car and ripped off the bumper. Oh, man. That is so embarrassing. You've been waiting your whole life for this moment and you did not clip it onto the wrong spot. If you're a winch guy, know where to hook that fucker up. Yeah, otherwise it's very embarrassing. Then the person's not only stuck, but they don't have a front bumper.

Winch guy. Well, I look forward to his first visit. Oh, my God. Get this guy here to meet Joe. I need him and Joe just to have a sit down. Tone it down, man. What are they going to talk about? Being old?

This guy just looks like he's from back in time. That's fair. Biden is from back in time. Do you guys mind, while we're on the topic of politics, do you mind if we just briefly go through some of uh the the charges on george santos's uh credit cards please um that he used campaign funds campaign funds to miss those santos who's out of the here's the guy he won't be you know like yeah like i don't i don't approve of George Santos's behavior from a legal standpoint.

I do think he should maybe see some repercussions for these. That being said, I think like us as America, I think we all need to understand that this guy's a content machine and it'd be just a shame if we put him away. And so I think we need to keep him in the public eye at least a little bit, maybe with just a ton of oversight. Yeah. You got to have some, you got to have some regulation on your Santa. Yeah, like house arrest is fine. Maybe give him like one day to fuck off so we can get some extra content.

But six out of seven days seems fine to me. He took a honeymoon in Vegas in 2021. Okay. Okay. I get it. Campaign funds. Campaign funds. Right. right honeymoon in vegas that's fine whatever uh he he went up to the hamptons in july of 2022 and spent 3300 on an airbnb he's got good taste i'm trying to think if that's if that's cheap for the hamptons it feels cheap for the

hamptons nights though that could have been like two nights. Yeah, he reported it to the FEC as a hotel stay. Okay, the Hamptons. There's probably some donors up there. I don't know. Yeah, I'm sure. It's probably pretty innocent. I'll never go to the Hamptons. Well, what about when he went to Atlantic City just a couple days later where he spent $2,200 of campaign money at resorts there where he played roulette with his husband.

I was going to ask if he hit the tables. He was hitting the tables. He was going to make money. The subcommittee also noted that they did not receive any records of any political campaign in Atlantic City during that time. Oh, that's weird. It wasn't a business trip?

You know, maybe it was a business trip. We don't know who he was entertaining. I hate roulette, man. Because you don't know how to do it? I don't know how to do it. because you don't know how to do it you know how to do it because you don't know how to do it i hate games where you can't have some some control you can control what you if you go red or black well you can't control where that little ball lands davey you never know and the screen that says oh it's seven blocks in a row it's gonna hit again it's it's 50 50 that's not 50 50 it's 48 to hit again. It's 50-50. It's not 50-50.

It's 48% chance every time. 47, 48, somewhere in there. You just never know. Yeah, it'd be like that sometimes. Blackjack, you can, you know,

stay or hit. You got some say. Bitch, you never hit. Bitch, I'll fucking double down any chance I get. You never hit a piece.

Oh, you're going to say that in front of this guy? Dave, you never double down a day in your life, buddy. Dave loses his money very quickly at a blackout table because he doubles everything.

Well. Can I read you guys a quote from this report? Yes. Quote, several other expenditures related to spa services and or cosmetic procedures could not be verified as having campaign nexus, the report found, citing a $1,500 purchase in the campaign at mirza aesthetics in 2020 um this was noted as a botox uh appointment he does he does look glowing he looks like he's glowing facial or fresh dog maybe it was pits maybe it was armpits maybe he was ruining his jackets and it was tough on the campaign trail you can't you're not voting for a guy who's putting out through his jacket no so You could argue that's saving money

if you're going through fewer items of clothing. There you go. He's actually saving. There you go. His campaign money. He had a $1,400 charge at Virtual Skin Spa that was also described as Botox. And then they had some unreported PayPal payments

of over $1,000 to an esthetician in rheinbach new york not roback rheinbach new york right okay backer 20. uh and then finally he also he also had some other ones dave i you're you're a big ferragamo guy yeah um after the campaign transferred twenty thousand dollars to another santos company last year the money was used to make about six thousand dollars worth of purchases at ferragamo. Only six? Okay. Hampton's, Ferragamo. He knows what he's doing. I've said this about certain people that like there's rich people out there and it pains

me to see how they spend their money because they spend it in a complete opposite way of me. And you're not supposed to tell people how to spend their money, but like I want to be filthy rich so I can spend it in a way that I think is baller as opposed to like other things. He's doing exactly that. Yeah. the way that i think is baller as opposed to like other things he's doing exactly that yeah he did he got a fifty thousand dollar payment from the campaign uh and then he he put all the stuff on his personal credit cards including four thousand dollars at hermes uh and only fan subscriptions

he went to sephora time out do we know who's only fans i would love to see the list that george santos subscribed is it that teacher from indiana that got busted i don't know but uh into uh the ladies on only fans from what i understand really okay all right why what is why is that significant i don't understand what you're seeing because he's married to a man oh maybe he was doing it just to kind of keep us guessing. I don't know. It could be into both. Credit to George. He does zig when others zag.

Yeah. He's a complex man. You can't pin him down. No. Did we ever find out where that baby came from when he was in the government building recently? Because he just emerged from a room with a baby. I don't know. Started yelling about stuff. Our next sponsor, I haven't done an ad read for them,

so I don't know if this is a new sponsor or not overall, but I have to say this is a sponsor that I absolutely love. Oh, my gosh. We got ours in the mail. I set mine up, and I look at it every single day and think, man, this thing's really nice. Before I took it out of the box, I was worried that it would be hard to get set up.

Easy. Oh, my gosh. Easy. A total dum-dum could do it very quickly. This is, we haven't even told you what this is yet, but this is the perfect gift for the parent in your life, whether it's mom,

whoever. But instead of another gift card she won't use, get her a digital picture frame from Aura Frames. It's the gift that keeps on giving because you can always keep her up to date with new pictures. So my mom listens to this podcast. So I do hesitate to talk about this, but I'll just say it. She's getting the gift of an aura frame. I want to give her an aura frame where we just load up pictures of the kids all the time so that instead of me having to text them, she can just have it in the kitchen or have it in their living room.

And suddenly it's like, ooh, new pics just dropped to the kids. You would have control over the pics? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can upload it all from your phone. It's super easy. It's such a good gift. Somebody in this office recommended it to me before they were on board with this. Last year, I got my parents an Aura frame for Christmas last year and they love it. And I just upload pics right to it. Makes their day. Preload it, dude. That's great. But then you can live load it too. So you got some gas in the photo stream. And I just upload pics right to it. It makes their day. Preload it, dude. That's great. But then you can live load it too. So you got some gas in the photo stream.

You can just put it right on there. Yeah. And it doesn't even matter. Like, I mean, this isn't even part of the ad read. It doesn't matter if the photos are like portrait or landscape. Don't make it fit. Like if they're both up and down, then they just pair them next to each other. And I don't know if there's an algorithm that makes it look like these photos next to each other are supposed to be there next to each other but they

always pair these photos really nicely together yes i totally agree mine's on my kitchen counter and i'll just catch myself like i'm cooking eggs i'm just i'm just staring at the shit the whole time it's fucking i want to put one up in the office and just run memes through it yeah it's a good idea too classic memes just old like old columns you can do anything great from now through black friday and cyber monday visit or frames.com and get 40 off their best-selling carver mat frame with code circling this is their best deal of the year so go get yours that's aura frames.com promo code circling terms and conditions apply man what should we do we've got so much time left you know like i don't know what we should do you know call it yeah oh wait oh what and during podcast week i don't care i'm getting

wasted you know what time it is pretty sure'm pretty sure the Worst Of debuted because of Thanksgiving week and the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. So I thought, because it is the biggest bar night of the year, we should do some Worst Of stories to get people just a little antsy. Get out. Dave said this earlier. He hadn't been out on the night before Thanksgiving in a very long time. Neither have I.

But I think we both have an opportunity to do that this Wednesday. It's in play. It's in play. I'm not committed to it yet, but there's been some booty chat around the office already. Daddy might step out.

That's all I'm saying. Okay. Do you guys, I have two stories today, both of which are tactical. Would you guys prefer I start with the more, you know, PG-13 rated story?

Or do you guys want to start with just the straight up dirty, raw, nasty one? Let's end with the nasty. I say we start at PG-13 and then we do this. We just turn it up. Turn the heat up for the next one. Okay. Let's get on our George Santos grind.

Let's go straight to Vegas, baby. Hey, boys. By the way, these are all anonymous. So the PG-13 one is in Vegas. Yep. Okay. If. By the way, these are all anonymous. So the PG-13 one is in Vegas. Yep. Okay. If anybody would like

to send in their Worst Of stories, I'd love to start doing these more often. WorstOf at washedmedia.com. You can also just go to washedmedia.com,

click on the Worst Of logo. We've got a form right there. It's all anonymous. I'll never out you. It's all good. Hey, boys.

So this takes place the week between Christmas and New Year. It's about six months before my 21st birthday my family is in the great city of las vegas nevada and one night we go see the mind freak himself chris angel that's hell yeah all he said about the show is would recommend so this is not about that show he's happy i wish it was but you know yeah it's always about chris angel like in some way i bet a lot of worst ofs start at a Criss Angel

show. Once you get your mind freaked, it's hard to get back on track. Fast forward to after the show and I decide to belly up at the craps table and throw some bones. I confidently pull out my fake ID from the great state of Texas as I've been using it in Vegas for three years previously during our fraternity formals. That's frat.

It's frat to have your formal in Vegas. You also have to have a very solid fake to present it to a Vegas dealer or a pit boss. Yeah. Right? It's scary. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. It's a federal... I could use some pit boss right now, if you know what I mean.

I've just been sweating. He says, I proceed to lose a hundred bucks and walk away with my free Budweiser. My dad decides to play a few more hands of blackjack. And I stand about 10 feet behind him. While he didn't fall asleep in a chair behind the blackjack table in a velour sweatsuit. Missed opportunity.

He did say about two minutes later, I got approached by a pit boss asking for my ID. I give her my fake ideas. I've had a few beers that I figured I could get away with it. She looked at it curiously and goes back to check it against a book of pictures of state ids i might just dip right then the fact that he didn't just dip like i know there's cameras everywhere in vegas and stuff so like they're gonna like catch you and probably ban you no matter what but like i am i'm out of there quickly yeah i wonder like maybe we'll find out i wonder what the what the punishment, like how they handle that situation.

Well, he's with his father. So his father's signing off on this. Exactly. Like if your dad is signing off on it, then I have way less worry about doing this in a public setting. That being said, doing it in a Vegas casino is cocky. Yeah. But if you're getting away with it for three years prior

and you're about to turn 21, like you got the confidence of a college kid, you know? Yeah. Shout out to you. You rarely see a fake make it that long. It's an impressive run. Well, he leans over to his dad and says, I might be fucked here. I look for the exit,

but I had no chance of making a run for it as we're in the middle of the casino and I'm famously a slow runner. It's a big admission. The pit boss comes back and asks me if it's a fake and i naturally say of course not she says well we can just check the other two with the two las vegas police officers right over there oh that's a leave yep it's a big you got me i'll just leave well the cops look at it uh they say if i have to call this in and it's fake it'll be a lot more trouble for you please tell me he then came clean i confessed to the cops and not 30 seconds later i'm surrounded

by about six security guards being escorted uh under the casino you've been you've been there before he had his hands remember that time you doubled down one too many times yeah um that's why i i no longer have use of my right hand it's not because it doesn't feel like a stranger but that comes in handy for you every now and then very much you know what i'm saying yeah if you had to lose feeling in the hand one of your hands or one of your feet like what which one are you going with all feeling foot you can still use it you just don't have it i don't know if you lost in your or one of your feet, like which one are you going with? All feeling. Foot? You can still use it, you just don't have a feeling? I don't know.

If you lost it in your foot, you couldn't, I feel like you'd have trouble like walking. I mean, you can walk, you can walk when your foot is like asleep,

but you just look like an idiot, you know? You're missing out on a lot of daps. Or you're dapping hard as fuck. Yeah, nothing matters. But you can't grip,

you can't like, what about grip that great? Nothing matters. The sound you can't grip. You can't like. What about grip? The sound is not the same. You're getting like this sound. And you want. He do be spitting facts right now. That's a good point. I didn't think of it like that.

I've listened to your daps. They're not good. I'm the best dapper ever. No, you're not. Bro. I'll show you a few things after the show. We brought you here to talk about your daps, dude. They think got it down lately. Yeah. glaring lack of dappage okay i said at one point

the security guards just wanted to kick me out but the pit boss insisted on the gaming commission coming down and having me arrested oh get him life if you hear the if i hear the gaming commission's commissioners coming down i'm like oh i'm done it's some guy in a cowboy hat with a bolo tie just hanging out by the skin of his teeth they really take it that seriously they could lose you know you get enough strikes you lose your license i mean they're not going to fair enough eventually they come down to the casino jail they read me my rights and they asked me some questions he could see that i was naturally freaking the fuck out because i'd literally not even gotten a speeding ticket and he called me down saying he's just going to issue me some tickets. Luckily,

it got expunged from my record and just had to pay a small fine. Unfortunately, I am now banned from 10 hotels in Vegas and many more worldwide. Moral of the story, don't use fake IDs in Vegas

if you want to be able to see where Caesar lived. Like lifetime ban? I think so, yeah. That's too much, man. Come on. To do six months before his 21st birthday.

It's tough. It's kind of a good excuse to never go to Vegas, though. When that bachelor party email comes out, like, hey, you mind moving it to the Aria, maybe? No, dude, see, you're fucked. It's the entire family of... You have to go to a totally different city with an independently owned casino. Oh, that stinks. Okay, but a ban...

I mean, okay, I'm about like enforcing a ban obviously your name goes on some list right but when you're 50 no one's going to check your ids when you sit down at a roulette table right you could probably get away with that at some but they got that facial recognition software now i think it's pretty serious they don't take it they don't go that far dude if you got busted because of that then whatever he'll go back to those casinos again he'll be fine i think yeah that's um that's a little bit much you know a friend of ours from college this happened to him but it wasn't in vegas it was in lake charles and his dad's a high roller there and he got busted and they just gave him a ticket

and that was it and then next thing you know there's a photo of him holding the ticket like smiling and they banned they banned him until he was of age it would be kind of sick to be banned from like tell people like yeah I can't go there I'm banned that's kind of sick you ever been banned from anywhere never I got banned from our bowling alley in michigan for a little bit i'm a good boy i don't i don't think it was just i got banned i i was on the receiving end of someone trying to start a fight and i just kind of got lumped in got banned from the restless one bar in san marcos because ross was going there since he was like 18 and then we celebrated his 21st birthday there and they're like wait? Is that place still around? No.

No, no, no, no. That would be a Texas Dives gold mine. Yeah. Do you guys mind if we take a little trip to the lake house real quick? Please. I love a lake house, man. This story happened a few years back

when I was single AF. Couldn't get married next year now, but it's still legendary amongst my crew. Congratulations on getting engaged. For some background, it was Memorial Day weekend and the boys and I decided to spend a long weekend at our friend's lake house. Nothing too crazy. Playing some pong, hanging by the fire, jamming to some tunes. The usual that we've done countless times.

However, that night, things went off the rails. We're hanging out by the fire after a long day of drinking, just hanging out when all of a sudden this girl comes out of nowhere. It's pretty chill since it's a fairly open lake community and she explains that she heard us hanging and decided to stop by. Okay. Get a random camp girl rolling by. Now at this point, my one buddy who's also single and I zero in on this chick competing for her affection. We were both down extremely bad. She decides to head back to her parents' house

to grab some vodka so she's not coming empty-handed, and I decide to go with her. At the house, I meet her mom, and I brush it off as whatever, and on the way back to my friend's place, we make out in the middle of the road. I love middle-of-the-road makeouts. Things have escalated so quickly.

It's a weird place to make out. This guy went from not knowing this person existed to meeting her to going to meet the parents at her place to making out on a road in what can't be less than like an hour he's quick mover man why why the middle of the road couldn't wait the mood just struck them right there not gonna let you know on the shoulder life's better at the lake, dude. It's different. You wouldn't understand. I've been to the lake. I don't know if you have.

Do you know life's better at the lake? Last time I stayed by a lake, there was this guy who actually lived in the lake, and he had a chainsaw, and he started killing a lot of people. Was it Fred Durst? No. Damn. Yeah, he had a hockey mask. That's weird. yeah. He had a mat, like a hockey mask. That's weird.

No. Really? Maybe he played for the Texas Stars. I don't like to talk about it very much. Did they catch him? No. Still out there? Mm-hmm.

Fuck. No. Damn. Did he have goalie pads on? Seems like it'd be easy to catch him if he had the mask and the pads. Just the mask. Did he, was he like a big proponent of like Schlotzky sandwiches and lunch and learns? His name was Jason.

Yeah. Really? Because he owned a deli? Content. We go back, drink a little bit more and decide to head down to the lake.

I decide I want to swim. So she and I get into our skivvies and swim and make out in the water while everyone else is hanging out on the dock. Okay, this is a kid rock song. This sounds beautiful, you know? This is all summer long.

I mean, as someone who grew up on a lake, if it's is a kid rock song. This sounds beautiful, you know? This is all summer long. I mean, as someone who grew up on a lake, if it's late at night and you're with a girl, like, you always pitch going swimming. You both want to go swimming. You always pitch it. Oh, yeah. So we decide to head back to where everyone's at the dock. We decide to head back up while everyone's still at the dock, and we hook up.

My one buddy left protection for me since this was nowhere in this weekend's agenda. Time out. Did they hook? So they docked? Can you do that like you're Zach Morris, please? Time out. So they docked?

Time in. Okay. It's at this point that things go off the rails. We start going at it, but the lake house is not sizable at all it was a loft situation my buddies didn't stay down at the dock long your boy was in the middle of a famously long dry spell so the next thing you know i hear everyone cheersing with tequila downstairs so i quickly get dressed as i was not about to smang what does smang mean

in front of all my friends though she wanted to keep going and quickly down a shot of tequila. I'm going to look this up. Yeah. This is either an error or a term that we're going to- No, smang's a thing. I just, it's not a word I use. I think it's regional. It's a combination of smash and bang.

Damn. That's smangin'. This is according to- Yo, that salsa is smangin'. I got a question. So did he complete the deed? I think he, from what I can tell, it sounds like he completed the deed relatively quickly

based on the dry spell that had been occurring. Yeah, because I feel like that was, that context there leads me to believe that it didn't last long. Yeah, and I mean, it sounds like they were in a loft situation where, you know, it's open air. So you kind of just risking,

when you're schmanging like that. It's hard to schmang, yeah, with people nearby, within earshot yeah what if i told you they made their way to the fire okay they go to the fire and make out a little bit or hang out a little bit more but there's more hanky-panky and at some point she requests to go behind the shed and try again behind the shed yes so this guy's just gifted this like roadshed loft yep to be young and horny he says well the protection is all out at this point and even in my highly inebriated state i'm

not about to raw with a rando so i just met or that i just met so i politely declined what the fuck's your problem if you have children listening please turn it off right now it's about to get x-rated if you have children listening please turn this off right now you have to get x-rated if you have children listening please turn this off right now this ain't your grandma's schmank very responsible of you to say that she says don't worry we can use saran wrap and rubber bands what's this fucking high school they're willing to uh what's uh what's that show with show with the guy who would make anything out of matches and a pencil? Bear Grylls? Shoe Nice?

No, no, no. The long blonde hair? MacGyver? MacGyver. Yeah. MacGyver some protection together. Saran Wrap and Rubber Band. I feel like if you have Saran Wrap, you don't need a rubber band.

Saran Wrap really just kind of clings. I can see it sliding off. Yeah, but is a rubber band going to really... Didn't they used to call you rubber band man yeah yeah they did do you guys think that he accepted this invite or do you think that he declined the invite this is a worst of story so i'm thinking he accepted yeah can i guess i know i don't want to guess i think i know i got bad news what he declined dude this guy what don't want to guess. I think I know. I got bad news. What? He declined. Dude, this guy, what? Don't. How are you going to do this all night and then just decline the saran wrap?

He said, I absolutely declined that. And she gets increasingly irritated. This guy's not horny enough. At this point, I'm over it. And I just want to hang with the boys. So she storms out telling me to have a nice life. Fuck yeah. That's never a good sign when someone wishes you to have a good life.

If you're hooking up with a girl and she gets mad at you, and then when she leaves, she says, have a nice life, then that means that you probably dodged a bullet and probably shouldn't have used saran wrap to hook up with her. What happened to the prophylactic? Where'd it go? The rubber? The previously used rubber? He already used it.

Oh. So he used it. He used it, performed poorly. When they were smanging in the loft, he used it. They went out to the fire. Yeah. He used it for the loft sch the loft he used it they went out to the fire yeah he used it for the loft schmang got it yeah got it yeah he said i've never seen this woman ever again but my one friend who is and was at the time hella wifed up got her number and randomly checks on her wait a minute hold on it sounds like a pay pick situation that doesn't make any

sense you gotta check on her who was a relationship, checking on the girl that you hooked up with. Hey, you good? Behind the shed. What's he worried about? You good? You good? What? That's weird behavior.

That's not normal. Yeah, that guy, that's the real. It's not normal behavior. That's the main character here. Yeah, can you imagine, Dave, like alissa found out that you had been texting a girl i randomly hooked up with years ago just checking in on her but they wouldn't go over well yeah i just i don't i i it's not a move i would make said but my friends will still never let me forget about the time i basically went all through through all the stages of one relationship

in one night met the parents etc and they still encourage me to go saran wrap and rubber bands it's a yeah wow so that didn't end how i thought i thought she was going to go out to the other dude and hook up with him and i would have respected the hell out of that that's a bad bish yeah i had the other dude swooped in and started you know schmanging with the saran wrap that would have been or without it Just an all-time cucking. You're at the lake. Dude, life's better at the lake. It's true.

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but age varies by jurisdiction. See DraftKings.com slash sportsbook for details. In state-specific responsible gambling resources, eligibility and deposit restrictions apply bonus bets require 168 hours after issuance terms at sportsbook.com or sorry i'm sorry terms are at sportsbook.draftkings.com slash football terms dylan what are you getting into this weekend? Thank you, Will. It's Thanksgiving, folks.

I'll be celebrating Thanksgiving in South Austin at my dad's house. I'll have a sister there, my brother-in-law, my two little nieces. Parks, unfortunately, won't be back in town until Friday. More on Friday in a sec. But yeah, I'm doing some cooking, as I said earlier. I'll be cooking Wednesday. What are you most confident about in your cooking right now?

Like, what do you think is going to be, like, what's going to be the empty tray when you set everything down? I've never made either one of these things, but I'm good at following instructions. Okay. So I'll let you know. I'll send you all a picture of how they turn out.

Don't overfill the au gratin thing. Okay. Just putting it out there. Don't overfill the au gratin thing. Okay. Just putting it out there. Don't overfill the au gratin thing. Just don't be like, oh man, this is like the chunkiest. It's going to get out of control. I think I have to buy cookware too. I don't have like the proper dishes for this yet.

So I'm going in totally fresh. Don't brick the potatoes. If you brick the au gratin, people are looking forward to the au gratin. Oh yeah. That's an upgraded thing for Thanksgivingot people are looking forward to the algrot you know like that's a yeah that's an upgraded thing for thanksgiving people are looking forward to that so if it turns out bad people are going to be talking like oh man i wish the algrot was better i'll put together some algrot on you know you know i've never done it before the algrot team dave yeah right that's what i said it's just a position heading down there thursday morning and spend the the day

there and the night there. Thanksgiving dinner. And then Friday, big day. Parks gets back into town early afternoon. And we are going to the Texas Tech-Texas football game. It's a night game. Weather should be perfect football weather. Friday night?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's going to be cool. I'm so excited. Really, really excited. The last Big 12 home game for Texas, the last time they'll play Texas Tech for the foreseeable future. Watch out for those Big 12 officials.

That's all I'm going to say. Ooh-wee. I'm so pumped for that. Parks will be his second game to go to. His first night game. It's going to be a lot of fun. So you had to buy front row, right? I had to get front row.

He exclusively says front row. Which means he's not going to college anymore, but we're going to say front row for this game. Pretty pumped, man. So this is the University of Texas at Austin playing Texas Technical University? Yes, that is correct. Should be a good game.

Yeah? I throw out the record books when those two meet. Yeah, facts. Tech been talking that ish. Less ish since they started losing a lot this season. But before the season, lots of ish. Are you prepared for a Texas Tech victory? It would be pretty crushing.

It's going to happen. You think so? You think Texas Tech is going to win the game? A lot of people are underrating the Red Raiders. I don't know if that's true are they six and they're bull eligible now six and five that's right six and five we'll see who knows i hope it's a good game a fair game hope hope the players have a lot of fun hey if any of my uh cousins are listening i'll be bull eligible right before dinner on Thanksgiving. That's good.

Yeah. And then the rest of the weekend, some really big football games this weekend, as usually happens this time of year. A lot of implications, Dave. Playoff implications, that sort of thing. What other MPs are there? Conference championship MPs. Like such as?

Big 12, SEC. Who's all you got? I don't know who they have. I just put you on the hot seat, bro. You failed. I don't know everyone's schedule offhand. Well, you should. You brought it up, bro.

They're playing Texas Christian University. They stink, baby. Almost. It's not going out at home against Texas. Texas has not been playing well, Davey. Anyway, they won the blue bonnet battle. I don't know if you saw that. They got the trophy.

That's good. Shield, whatever the fuck that was. That's pretty much it, man. I got blue bonnet. Looking forward to a little family time, a little football action. Have a drink or two. I'm going to have about 10 in the garage by myself yeah i'm doing thanksgiving we're hosting are you doing it in your garage we're not doing it

in the garage although i will be in the garage for some things got to store some things out there just classic thanksgiving um picking up our turkey yeah i'm not doing my own turkey i figure why not outsource it to the pitmasters at Valentina's as they are my favorite barbecue place. They could probably do a better turkey than me. So we're going to do that. Smoked? Oh yeah, smocked actually. We're frying.

Actually, I will be frying the turkey. A lot of people do that. Kendall and I. I've helped fry a turkey. I've never done it myself. I don't know what my mother-in-law did last year to the turkey, but it was one of the best turkeys I've ever had. And I really hope she runs it back this year. It was the juiciest turkey I've ever had.

Very dangerous to fry a turkey. It is. That's what scares your boy away. I don't like hot things. Don't thaw the turkey. Just throw it in there frozen. Don't do that, people. What?

Dave's playing a trick on you. Is that what I'm talking to you specifically? Don't do that. What happens? Is that when it explodes? Yeah, if someone does that, Dave, and they burn their house down, I'm like, oh, is that a circling back podcast? Told me to do it.

Yeah, I think people know. Okay. We'll start a GoFundMe for them if they burn their house down because of advice that we gave. That's how you start a fire. Burning down the house. That's how you start a fire. We didn't start the fire.

That's it, man. Because we didn't throw the frozen turkey in. Oh, yeah. I'd already moved on to mine. I figured you were done. I forgot you were doing your shit. Yeah. Go ahead.

Whatever. Yeah. And I was waiting to hear about your saran wrap thing. It's going to be a good time. I have not figured out what time we're going to eat. Because normally we do watch the first half of the cowboy game, mute it, pause it. You don't really need to mute it if you pause it. Pause it and then eat.

What if Creed starts playing though? That's a real big miss. They had a chance to do the funniest thing and bring Creed back. They're doing Dolly Parton. You guys heard of her? Yeah. Zoinks. Why did you just look up rapper Jack Harlow?

I'll tell you why, David, because I looked up Lion's Thanksgiving halftime show. look up rapper Jack Harlow? Because I looked up... I'll tell you why, David. Because I looked up Lion's Thanksgiving halftime show. Is it really Jack Harlow? Obviously, my guy, Jack Harlow, is going to be there. All right. I don't know. Is D12 going to come out? Yeah, they're going to play Purple Pills. Cool, calm, just like my mom's.

They had Big Sean a few years ago, and the crowd just wasn't into it. He's not great. But he's a hometown guy. He's hometown, but it just probably didn't into it. He's not great. But he's a hometown guy. He's hometown, but it just probably didn't sound good. Sounds not great there. It's not good in any NFL stadiums. I don't want to go to NFL stadiums for concerts anymore. I watched Taylor Swift at one and it was fun.

The sound in Vegas was trash. You couldn't really even hear her anyway because of the screaming. Wednesday night, man. Am I going to get get out people are wondering am i gonna go like invite myself to go out with uh brett and the crew out there maybe you have two options dude go to the bar or bar build a relationship with god what are you choosing well i like to get up early go to the gym spend time with my creator you choosing well i like to get up early go to the gym spend time with my creator what do you not follow timon there's a crazy event happening on wednesday i don't follow

timon bro let's go out this weekend right there might be crazy events uh wednesday day we'll see you man rest of the week i mean it's it's's really weird. And it hasn't really sunk in. We're not driving to our hometown to do Thanksgiving like we always do, always have. And so it's like it'll be nice. My parents, my sister, and her kids are coming down. But I'm not going to know what to do with myself the rest of the weekend. Normally it's like go up there, try to sneak a couple rounds in with the boys.

I don't know, man. I'm going to be here all weekends. If something pops up, I will be available. Are we working Friday? Fuck no. Are you kidding? I mean, we didn't start this company to make ourselves work the day before. You got to count that question.

On a Friday of Thanksgiving. That's why we started our own company. Yeah, that's fair. Newsletter dropping? Hard to say. You know your boys got started our own company. Yeah, that's fair. Newsletter dropping? Hard to say. You know your boys got just a loaded weekend. Wednesday night I'm going to

a restaurant to eat sushi. And I have not had sushi in a minute. Last time I had sushi was like Valentine's Day. Sushi. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. How has it been that long you were on your Pesco? I know. I didn't know. It's because Sally was pregnant long you were on your Pesco I know I didn't know it's cause Sally was pregnant the entire time I was Pesco

fair so yeah I'm just very happy about that I'll probably get in my absolute bag with the sake so you guys skipped over we're doing the we're doing the 5 mile turkey trot all together right yeah dude for sure I'll see you at the starting line okay I'll be there

I'll be there I'm trying to get my PR this year i'm trying to go sub six minute miles for it a little key would like to do that one year we should do it sometime this year i'll do it next year with you it's it's fun it's on thanksgiving day yeah okay it's the most rewarding thanksgiving meal i've ever had because i was just so ready to go i feel you thanksgiving day is a big one going out to sally's parents house we got the Magic Bullet joining us. Love that. Claims of him bringing a football. I feel like that's just to mess with me because I can't throw a football very far.

So I'm probably going to claim that I have to take care of my kids the entire time instead of hanging out with Brett. Which one of your brother-in-laws can throw a football the furthest? Probably the one that played professional baseball. Makes sense. But I will be asking this question out at the house

because with Brett there and then my brother-in-laws like they will absolutely get competitive over who can throw a football the furthest i could sneak you see drew not being able to throw i could see me i was just thinking that i don't know why he's really good at sports but he's a racket sport guy can i tell you something can i say something about him that will maybe change how you think about it he's a country club sport guy but he's got paws does that does that affect the he's probably got a good circle change i think part of the reason i can't throw a football very far is because my hands are just not big and drew has some bear paws on him it definitely helps um i'm excited for it though man i i love thanksgivings

my favorite holiday friday going to see uh texas tech it to be lit, dude. Come on, Dave. Join in. Just go to the game. Okay. I guess I'll go. But other than that, I really try to leave myself a little open. I have two things that I'd really like to do this weekend. One is very feasible.

The other one is not feasible. The feasible one is I would love to go to Kelly's Irish Pub, not just for beers, but I would like to go eat a meal of food there. I want to go sit down and I want to have a comforting meal. Okay? Okay? Sounds great. The other thing I'd like to do this weekend, which this feels not feasible at all, is I would love to sneak around to golf. We've got too much time open. There's too many people around that would probably love to play golf. I just don't see it happening with two kids at home. But if there is a tea time that opens up

and there's discussions i would like to be at the forefront of those discussions this is probably my last opportunity to play a round of golf for definitely the year david it is so it is please we need to figure it out like we need to go to lions and just get a tea time or i'll go out to wolf dancer and dance my little ass off out there like i always go out there around this time of year for some reason yeah and i love playing a cold weather round out there. I always go out there around this time of year for some reason. I love playing a cold weather round out there. If anything pops off, just let a player know.

Please. That's it. Let's make it happen. Christmas tree's going up tonight. I got some framed art prints that I'm going to go pick up at lunch today that I'm putting on the wall tonight. Does that mean Sally won the when are we putting the tree up conversation between you two? So we rearranged our entire living room this weekend on a whim and we regretted doing it. And now the only thing that will make the living room look complete is if we put a tree up,

because right now there's just a gaping hole in this thing. You floated the couch, didn't you? We floated the couch just to see what that is that ish would be like and we are not float couch people at this place man you're back on that poor people we gotta be on that poor grind you know like yeah and i'm fine with that like the tv situation's better it's it's it's not a good sitch but it might stay like that for the holidays and might just be like that it do be like that sometimes we we've found that out numerous times in life that's all she wrote today we'll be back tomorrow on patreon.com circling back podcast for our uh optimized episode this week

any closing thoughts i don't believe so all right from our family to yours happy thanksgiving happy thanksgiving people and happy podcast week yes Yes, that too. Bye.