Circling Back - Welcome To The Bone Zone (featuring Jared Borislow)

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

Friend of the pod and Ross Bolen Podcast co-host Jared Borislow fills in for Dillon in one of the more sporadic episodes in Circling Back history. He reads old tweets he crafted from the verified Twitter account he stole from Producer Micah, we talk other old Grandex moments, The Crypto Minute, The Match, and This Weekend in Fun. Contribute to our campaign to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: pages.lls.org/mwoy/ctx/austin21/wmedia Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (17:30) Welcome J-Bone (28:30) Verified Micah’s Old Tweets (45:00) The Infamous Chest Luge Video (52:14) Sad Money: Crypto Minute (1:05:18) The Match (1:16:37) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Raycon: www.buyraycon.com/steam (15% off) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (25% off) Taft: www.taftclothing.com (CB10 for 10% off) Bison: www.bisoncooler.com (WASHED for free slim can koozie) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back podcast presented by Vizzy Hart Seltzer, the only Hart Seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. It's Wednesday. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my right, David Carter-Ruff. So, I don't know if this is true or not. I just got an email. You're not on it. You should have been on it, Will, but did you know that it's podcast week? So, funny you say that, Dave.

It was Monday afternoon, and I was sitting on my couch, and I was thinking to myself, I was like, man, something feels off this week. What's going on? But like in a good way. Yeah, and then I was like, I looked at to myself, I was like, man, something feels off this week. Like, what's going on? But like in a good way. Yeah. And then I was like, I looked at my phone. I was like, oh, fuck. It's podcast week.

Hurts nobody. Goes to the economy. Speaking of hurting nobody. Our guest doesn't understand the reference. It's because he's too young. God, he really is. Today we got a special guest in the building. Young, dumb, and full of fun.

The co-host of the Ross Boland Podcast. The host of Freeze on Motor Functions. The DeVry guy himself. J-J-J-J-J-J-J-Bone. The Night Pooper. J-Bone. Night Pooper's in the building. The Night Pooper is in the building.

Yeah, speaking of the Night Pooper, which a lot of people know is the best column in the history of PGP. How many total page views do you think your Night Pooper, which is a lot of people know is the best column in the history of PGP. How many total page views do you think your Night Pooper columns did? At least dozens. It flirted with four digits. It was a three-part series, so if it didn't hit four digits, it's not good. That's tough. And unfortunately, Jared, I looked at the analytics and it may not have.

For our friends who might not be familiar with your viral series of the Night Pooper, can you explain what the premise of the Night Pooper was? I can, Will. Thank you. So at our old office, at our former employer, because I worked with these guys at our former employer, if you pooped for too long, the automatic light would go off. It's an energy saving measure. And you'd be sit pooping in the dark. And what you'd have to do is wave your hand. But if you were in the corner stall, then you couldn't wave your hand because the light couldn't see over the wall. So sometimes you'd have to do is wave your hand, but if you were in the corner stall, then you couldn't wave your hand because the light couldn't see over the wall. So sometimes you'd have to stand up with your pants down and walk out the door and wave your hand out the door. And it was a three-part series about a guy stuck in the bathroom.

He finally gets out at the end. Spoiler alert. No one's talking about our glaring lack of carbon footprint. Dude, in our new place, the lights stay on. The lights stay on during poop. Well, I can attest to that because Dave directed me to the executive bathroom when I had to... VIP shit only.

Yep. Peel back the curtain. I pooped. J-Bone, when you come here, you get the best. Okay, let me... I have to talk about this bathroom. It doesn't make a lot of sense. It's the most... It's a really nice bathroom to have at an office complex if you it's a solo bathroom right and not only that it's behind two doors you open one door and you enter the sink room you open another door and you enter the toilet room

it also has a sink there's two things why'd i add okay i need to start going to the upstairs because i've never been in there before got a a real problem, though, in the room with the actual commode, there's not soap in that sink. So it's like someone's just doing a rinse here, and then when they go in the room through the other door, then they're soaping up. Except the issue is then when you go to the second sink that's outside of the toilet room, there's no trash can. So you need to go out of the room, wash your hands with the soap, take the paper towel, walk back into the toilet room to throw the paper towel out. Not only that, there's one crucial design flaw in this executive bathroom. And Dave might be able to test this. I've seen erosion like in rocks before, right?

So like, you know, you see, oh, a river flows and it corrodes this rock. And over 50,000 years, it creates a channel in the rock, right? That's how it works. Well, this is what happened with the toilet seat in that bathroom because for some reason, they decided to put the toilet paper dispenser so close to the toilet that you need to shift your body to the left on this toilet. Yeah, they didn't think that through. So the toilet seat, after so many people have done this Is now turned to the left

Yeah, it does that thing where it slants It's not great What's the thing called when a river, like, it oxbows? You familiar with the concept of an oxbow? Well, I know that wolves do change rivers Have you seen what they did with Yellowstone? The parko? They introduced wolves onto the show

And it changed the show for the better Now it's thriving You did say wolves, right? They did wolves onto the show, and it changed the show for the better. Now it's thriving. You did say wolves, right? They did get rid of the helicopter budget, which is upsetting after season one, where they took a helicopter literally everywhere. Dude, they took a helicopter everywhere season one. Then season two, they were just driving like Ford F-350 King Ranch editions. Also sick.

It's kind of tight. Pretty frat. You guys like my drip today? Did you know Randy's over mining Bitcoin? Can you hear his server room? Yeah, I took a look at his computer, actually. He's mining Ethereum on a proof-of-stake protocol, which is actually, you know, a lot of people say proof-of-stake might be the future.

I'm a proof-of-work guy, personally. Save that for Sad Money, the crypto moment with J-Bone. Okay. Why is his computer so ungodly loud? We can't get past it, and people are probably tired of hearing us reference it, but it's so distracting. Are you trying to create a sound barrier between you and Randy?

Because it's working. It's a white noise machine, so we can just rest easy. It's almost like when you're giving an interview to the Golf Channel and the guy you hate walks behind you. It just rattles you. Oh, man. What are you going to do? Lots of trying to thought.

Sorry. Should we get some programming notes out of the way before we get into it? We got a loaded episode today with the Bone Man. We got a load here. Load-bearing wall. Load-bearing pod. Can we stop doing load-bearing? Well, we're going to take out...

Load-bearing wall is what it's called, though. No, I'm just not mature enough. We're taking out a load-bearing wall in the studio so that we have an open office complex. We'll have just one big bullpen where people just recording pods at different tables, and everybody's just energies vibing at the right time. You sound like Adam Neumann right now. Yeah. And he got paid.

He got fucking paid. Jokes on us. $1.7 billion, I think. That's a good payout to quit your company. What's he and his wife's new venture? Like the kids? Isn't it like kids yoga or some shit? No, it's like they're trying to revolutionize education.

Yeah. For the low price of $90,000 a year. And WeWork is also trying to convince people that they need to go back in the office. The guy who's in charge now said that you're lazy if you don't want to go back into the office, which makes sense from a company that's built on office space. Did you guys watch the documentary?

Oh, yeah. Who doesn't want to live in their office? Yeah, right? It sounds great, just living there. I love living at work. Their snack game was almost as good as the snacks we had at Grand X. And have you seen our snacks here? If you like Ritz crackers, I got you.

And Sour Patch Kids. Yeah. We have several Ritz crackers if you're hungry later. Did you hear? So We we works actually pivoting they're only renting out uh uh old paint factories now really yeah it's called we paint it's really sick anyway dude the floors though the floor's sick bro you look there look at all this paint on the floor oh dude that's because it used to be a paint factory we all there when Randy, my dog, when he was a puppy, and I was leaving fairly late because I care about my craft. And I had to go to the bathroom, but I had Randy.

I was like, I'm going to bring my dog into the bathroom. That's weird. So I put his leash around. We had this random statue, and I don't even know what it was, by the front door. And I put it there thinking it would hold him. I come back, and it turns out Randy had tried to walk away and tip the statue over, and it scared him. So he sprinted around the office and shat everywhere

and just dragged the statue through it and just around the office. And Jay, our old CFO, was like, yeah, he got scared, man. I was like, ah, my bad. Tight, tight, tight. I cleaned it up. I think I chipped the statue. Do you remember when we had a live video feed over the ping pong table? Mm-hmm.

Do you think that was captured on it? If it was, yes, it had to have been. Who has that, Prim? I don't know. We need to put some Benny Hill music behind that. Poor Randy. He's such a puppy. Yeah, Randy's kind of a bitch.

Oh, you meant the dog. Sorry. Got him. Our Randy's got a little pep in his step today. Go ahead. Oh, you meant the dog. Sorry. Got him! Our Randy's got a little pep in his step today. Go ahead. Well, I'm sorry. Hey, we've been partnering with LLS, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. You guys aware of this?

Indeed. We've all been affected by cancer in some way, shape, or form. We're campaigning to raise money in the man or, in our case, woman. Or, sorry, man or woman, or, in our case, team of the year. LLS does more to advance science and support patients than any other cancer organization. They're the largest nonprofit dedicated to creating a world without blood cancers. Since 1949, they've invested nearly $1.3 billion in groundbreaking research, pioneering many of today's most innovative approaches.

Hit the link in the description of this episode to donate. Also, go follow Circling Back Pod and watch Media on the Grom. That's how you know this dude grams a lot. He dropped the link in bio on accident. Go follow at Jared Borslow on the Grom. That's how you know this dude grams a lot. He dropped the link in bio on accident. Go follow at Jared Borslow on the Grom. Is that a programming note? You can do that. You're allowed.

You're a guest. You're filling in for Dylan on vacation right now. Have you been tracking Dylan's vacation right now? I saw he posted some photos that I thought you actually took in Telluride, but it turns out it was him. Dude, people are asking if Dylan's swagger jacking me. I mean, I'm literally swagger jacking you right now. I'm wearing the ALD New Balances that you bought.

You came through dripping today, Bone. Thank you. I said I was going to. You didn't put any towels down for me. You're not committing to the drip because you were afraid to rock it up to the bathroom. Here's what happened, though. Okay.

I didn't want to get you guys evicted, right? There's a dude down... Okay, go ahead. We're not going to get evicted. I put on a jacket um so if you look if you're watching this on youtube.com slash whatever I'm wearing a shirt it's got watch media like and subscribe I'm j-bone so this is a skeleton riding a motorcycle sure cost 118 dollars I didn't pay that much for it I got it on sale and then it was also funded by people on Twitter Dylan actually chipped in for it

How much did he pay? I don't remember But a substantial amount Of the end price So thank you Dylan He's probably the company Knowing Dylan Yeah

Yeah he also shipped me some pizzas Yeah he probably just Tossed you some za I still don't understand How he spent $71 on pizza For two adults and one child It doesn't make sense I mean I'm not gonna lie

I spend like 20 bucks plus Every time I go to Taco Bell, so I'm not going to shame him for spending that much at a much more expensive place. So anyways, I walk in and I put a jacket on because I'm like, you know what?

I don't want to subject their office complex people to this skeleton riding a motorcycle $120. I don't want to stunt on them, essentially. Fair, and I appreciate that. So I walk in the front door,

hold my coffee, kind of chilling. Like I got a bit of a swagger in my step. I'm about to stunt on him, essentially. Fair, and I appreciate that. So I walk in the front door, hold my coffee, kind of chilling. I got a bit of a swagger in my step. I'm about to come on circling back. Yeah, dude, you had so much swagger in your step. Yeah, we noticed that as we were watching you through the window. Yeah. So I walk in, and I get two steps into the door. A guy walking past me stops, looks at the door. I'm assuming at the lock, and goes,

Huh, is that thing broken again is your front door normally locked never then what the hell was that guy saying only on like weekends after six i don't know what that means i assumed it was a shot at me so the people who um the guy probably worked for the company that is in this building that owns it it's a security company and they've got like they own i don't know 90 of the offices in here right or they they security company and they've got like, they own, I don't know, 90% of the offices in here, right? Or they inhabit 90%. And they're pretty nice. Had some interactions with them.

There's one person who has asked me three separate times in the last year and a half if I'm the maintenance guy. Are you? No, I'm not. I think it's a stash. I don't know. But I've had a mask on so it's weird. I'm like, how did you know? You need to take that as a compliment. No, and I do. I do, but it's just it's like I'm dressed like it's fine. No one's ever going to ask me. I'm like, how did you know? You need to take that as a compliment. No, and I do. I do, but it's just like I'm dressed like it's fine.

No one's ever going to ask me if I'm the maintenance guy. Actually, you know what? The fact that she thinks I might be able to tear down a load-bearing wall, that makes me feel good. The only wall you tear down is the fourth. Oh, content, dude. Sick. He's looking at the camera, right?

Buzz the lens. But, yeah, I do get the ski lodge vibes that you talk about when you walk in the front door very opera it's got lodgy yeah i've always said the best ski lodges have motivational quotes on the wall what was your favorite one it was the one about not being arrogant uh yeah it seems like a shot about not overthinking stop overthinking that's i i look at that every day and I'm just like, yeah, that's what we're all about at WASH. That's our company culture. I've been doing more underthinking lately. Well, the arrogant thing, it seems like they have an arrogant coworker.

They're trying to get the point across to them. Is it just passive aggressive? There was an incident and they came in on Monday and those were up and they're like, oh, okay. I'm actually- Sorry, Brandon. I'm replacing it with a Notre Dame-style sign that says, go viral today. Oh, yeah.

We can hit it? That was a fun thing. I never went viral. I kind of went viral. Yeah, but it was like a news story. You went viral for Rory. Didn't J-Bone help you go viral? He definitely... He gave you the alley-oop and you slammed it home. I did

the leg work, didn't I? You hit the first outlet pass, J-Bone took it down the court, then he alley-ooped you slammed at home why i did the i did the leg work didn't i uh well okay you hit the first outlet pass jay bone took it down the court then he alley-ooped you and then you windmilled it yeah that's a good way of describing i can explain it because i remember because i never went viral at our former employer but i i did give dave the alley-oop i was first on that dude who like henrik stenson called out of the crowd to go make a putt. Remember that? Yeah. This is before the Ryder Cup. These are the practice rounds. So, and there's a little bit of goofing around. Boys are having fun.

Okay, I do remember this. And then I got this right away. Right when it came on the TL, I sent it to Dave and he wrote and went viral. I don't know why I didn't write it. I think I was like, Dave's down bad right now. He needs this. It's because you don't grind. You're not a grind boy. He's got to up his average every month.

J-Bone doesn't grind. True. True. I'm 99% sure I made up the term grind boy. I did make up the term under boy, which then became grind boy. Down under. Can we finish our announcements, J-Bone? Like, God, dude.

Jeez. Proceed. Well, it's actually, this is a very opportune moment to read a review. We're now 13 minutes and 50 seconds into this podcast, and we got a recent review. And it says, just get to the episode. Aww. He said it was 17 minutes before you guys got into the episode today. Fun and easy banter is good, but there seems to be an endless announcements now.

This is the meme with the astronaut looking at Earth, it says that's the episode that's the whole it already is the episode it's like i always was yeah sorry bitch there's a better way sorry konzi 25 is it five star yeah five stars oh yeah so shots to konzi anyway i don't really have any other announcements i just wanted to cut jay bone real quick thank you go to patreon we're doing bachelor next next week bachelor Bachelor season, baby. Thanks to all the people. To everyone who submitted their worst ofs, thank you. It was a great worst of season.

It'll be back. Some are saying the best of. Whoa. Whoa. I like the guy who took the Ibiza boat. That was entertaining to me. I took a boat in Ibiza. Why do all of our listeners just rent watercraft and then sink the ships?

Because they're frat, dude. It doesn't... No. Boats and destructing property is so frat. Yeah. I had a follow-up. Did I tell you about the follow-up about the young lady who... I think we know her-ish. Of her, yes. Who rented the boat

and then had to dock it. Whoa, she what? Tore down the dock. Had to pay the billionaire. I don't know. Whoa, gee, what? And then tore down the dock. And had to pay the billionaire. I don't know. Anyway, it was a whole thing, and it made me really mad that they were trying to make them pay for it. Because it's like these people are worth a lot of money. Just pay for the fucking dock. I mean, if she needs help docking, just hit me up.

We've all paid for docks. Yeah, if a billionaire asks you to dock, you dock. Yeah. Let's hear from Raycon. You know, this summer, things are are opening up we get to go places for once i'm going to michigan and guess what i'm packing with me my raycons power on connected that's how it sounds i don't care if you're traveling if you're working from home or if you're just spending some time outdoors in this warm weather taking a run you running a lot these

days jay bone nope these are my everything headphones whether it's for work or play a lot of us are going to be on the move again this summer so our advice to you take your raycons with you a pair of raycon wireless earbuds in your ears can make all the difference when you're just trying to get a vibe on i'm not gonna lie to you i was wearing my raycons i actually did go for a you know what's uh what do you call it when you go for a jog but then you only jog for like a third of it you You get winded like really early on. You're like, yeah, maybe it's more walking weather. I call it a walk hard. Well, walk hard.

Dewey Cox. I went and did that yesterday. I had my Raycons in. I went for a walk hard. My plan was to go pick up dinner. I was going to go to Pete Terry's, but I was going to cross the street. And then there was literally a fight in the crosswalk. And so I turned around and didn't even get dinner.

And I made sad rice for dinner. Well, at least you had your Raycons with you. I did. That's important. Because with Raycons, you get crisp, powerful beats at half the price of other premium audio brands. Raycons look good and feel even better. They come in a range of cool colors. Dave's got some murdered-out ones that I love.

I need to get some of those. Mine are white. They're crispy, boys. I like yours, but I like mine better. Raycons are built to go wherever you go with quick and seamless Bluetooth pairing

and compact charging case. They're just phenomenal. They've got an insane battery. J-Bone, you could have walked to Marble Falls and back and the battery would have been fine. Really?

The battery just, I feel like they stayed good for a long time. They stayed charged? Dave, you know the thing about Marble Falls. The falls are marble? Yeah. That's tight. It's weird. That's crazy.

Hey, listen up, guys. Raycon's offering 15% off all their products for our listeners and here's what you gotta do to get it. Go to buyraycon.com slash steam and there you'll get 15% off your entire Raycon order and it's such a good deal you'll want to grab a pair and a spare. That's 15% off at buyraycon.com slash steam

buyraycon.com slash steam Hey Buyraycon.com slash steam. Hey, we're 17 minutes in. We just got done with the announcements. We're nothing but consistent on this podcast. Let's talk to J-Bone about why he's often in trash cans. I want J-Bone's lodge takes before we do anything. Okay. Again, you guys had explained it pretty well.

Like, hey, there's a lot of people walking around this complex who are like doing real business. Whereas we're in the content game. So I expected it, um, more glares than I expected. I keep getting stared at. It's like,

they'd know I'm not an insurance. Do I give off non-insurance vibes? Well, this is an insurance place, Jay Bond. It's more of a cyber security place. Oh yeah. You got to secure cyber.

Wait, what do they do? I was doing that on AOL when I was like 14. Cybering? What was your screen name? Did you have a screen name? Yeah. What was it?

They're pretty bad. All of them are bad. It wasn't like racist or anything, was it? No. Okay. It was like eight. You said bad. Okay, the first one was, for some reason I thought the name Susan was funny as like a

10-year-old. Oh, who didn't? Yeah, hilarious. I'm slapping my knee right now. It was J-Rod Susano, Bob. Wait, that is too long. But don't worry, then it was J-Noodle Boy 7.

J-Noodle Boy might be perfect. Why did I add the 7? There's no way there's another J-Noodle Boy. Can I say that your arms are looking just hella beautiful? Thank you. I've been told I have the tiniest arms. I've been honestly waiting my whole life for this moment. Dude, can you hit me with your rest routine?

People are looking at this on YouTube.com slash whatever right now and are like, oh, my God. I actually do. If my arms at their – my biceps at their biggest point are no larger than my forearms. Have you seen the TikTok trend? I posted one of the videos. But it's just – it But it's for people that are actually buff and they're flexing their arms and it's like, yeah, my arms aren't big

until they flex and then it's just a bunch of people's skinny arms just not doing anything. And I think I'm perfect for that trend. Jared's just constantly in recovery mode. It's an off day, man. Well, I am in physical therapy right now for a disc golf injury. Really? At first, Dan came in here with a torn meniscus. Now you're in here with, is it your labrum?

What is it? It's the pineal spinal muscles. We've got a lot of people in STEM, so we'll be able to tell you. Oh, that's good, dude. Hey, how's your cupping going? We need that clip. Make that clip. Are you getting cupped?

I'm getting cupped. My physical therapist cups me on the regular. I have a theory that people that get cupped like not like 50 of the time it's just for conversation so they can take their shirt off at the pool and people are like oh dude that's how's that stuff going that's so awesome i told this story on the ross boland podcast i i made a joke to my physical therapist and i said hey oh i'm to look at Michael Phelps. And I shit you not. He said to me, yeah, without the nice body. Oh, that's not very nice. I was like, yes, I can make that joke. I don't know if you can. Did he, did he have two female nurses do it to you? No, he did it. He cut me. Yeah. It wasn't two girls. Oh, come on. Come on. We'll cup it out. Jeez.

No, yeah, but getting cupped, it was interesting. I enjoy it. I do look pretty cool. Cooper Cup over here. That's what they call me. Sports reference. Well, you wouldn't get it. That's mean.

I know. That's really mean. I don't get it, though. Too much dip. Check it out. But, yeah, I'm working through it. I'm trying to play disc golf again sometime soon. Just trying to hug some... Why don't you just learn to play with the left hand?

Well, you can't switch hands. You of all people should know this. Why? You can't just go play around lefty? Yeah, it feels like you're playing with a stranger. Okay. All right. Move on.

What? You're a big fan of the stranger. Yeah. What was the movie? Was it Stranger? Stranger Things? Yeah, that was it. Just move on.

That's on the recommended tab. Boy, there's a lot of problems there. I have another question for J-Boat. Have you been banging hella chains lately, or is the physical therapy holding you back? So I've only played like four rounds in the last seven months i i my record when i was unemployed i believe i played 20 rounds in a month once pretty sick you could have done more i could have yeah the uh the body was willing but the flesh was spongy and weak are we will is are we willing to put our video guy randy on the mic

right now to discuss his record against you in disc golf i'm willing to let that happen discuss his record against you in disc golf. I'm willing to let that happen. Jared, who wants to say the record? Was that a Zap Brannigan quote right there from Futurama? That was a Zap. Thank you. I think I botched it, but it was a... Thank you for catching that.

You've got nerd shit. Is there a mute button for nerd shit? Nobody catches those. Okay, cool. By the way... You guys are vibing. For people who don't know, me and Randy just spent the entire weekend hanging out together Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

You guys post more than couples do. It was hella cute. Sheesh! We were going down Dirty Six at 2 a.m., and Randy and I started doing sheesh, and we got like 50 people to do it with us. That sounds like something that could happen. Y'all did Dirty Six?

Oh, we did Dirty Six. Where'd you go? Buckshot? Let me guess. Stop going to Buckshot. No, if you're going to go to Dirty Sixth, Buckshot is the move. Guess where else we went. Maggie Mae's. Yes. That was the only two. Dizzy Rooster. We went to Blind Pig, too. Oh, we did go to Blind Pig. Which one of them? You were just so blackout

when that happened, dude. Did you go to Aquarium? Nobody goes to the aquarium, bro. Oh, they reopened it. It's sick. We went to Shakespeare's. Is that still a thing? Okay. Me and the guys, we used to just go down to Buffalo Billiards, man, just throw darts,

just more chill. We don't really care about talking to chicks. Just the guys, just talking what we do with our stocks and stuff. Before we talk disc golf- Dude, I love stonks. Since we already talked about bathrooms this episode, the bathroom at Shakespeare's, do you guys remember that from the last time you went there 15 years ago? I couldn't tell you.

It can't be worse than Woodrow's. I have never stepped foot in Shakespeare's. It cannot be worse than Little Woodrow's on West... How? How? Well, the bathroom has no dividers. It's a rectangular room in which there are two ground toilets and one urinal with no dividers. Is there erosion visible? Yeah, all the toilet seats are just pointed sideways.

Okay, so you're, okay. You can't do anything normally in that bathroom. Well, if you're on dirty, there's, I will venture to say there's not a good bathroom on 36th. Do you have to shift your legs to the side to poop? Yeah. You got the toilet dispenser, dude. It's like you're cracking your back. Dude, yeah, just don't do that foul deed on Dirty Sixth.

Go to the rest of us. Go to Star Barn. West Sixth. They actually have sidewalk bathrooms now on Dirty Sixth, too. They had a full bottle of Corona, actually. Was it Omega? No, it was a regular old Corona. Oh, come on.

Jared, we tried to proposition J-Bone to drink the entire Corona Omega throughout this entire podcast. We can go get it. I'm not going to lie. I considered it until I realized I had to work the rest of the day. If this was like a weekend recording, I'm doing it. Yeah, what would Ross do if you came into work just absolutely obliterated because you did circling back an hour before? Can I say that when you first started with Ross, I did a RBP within a couple weeks, and I got there before them.

I got there pretty early because I didn't know how long it was going to take. I'm waiting. They pull up next to me. J-Bone's driving. They get out, and I think y'all had just eaten Popeyes. Y'all had Popeyes for lunch. Dude, I was like, what the fuck? I was amazed at how well y'all potted.

Because, like, if I eat Popeyes, I'm not doing anything. It's over. But y'all, I was a little bit worried. I was like, these guys just ate Popeyes. What's going on here? But you powered through. The thing about Popeyes is that they never give you the right order. And so, you know, you're never going to be that sick because they're going to forget, like, a strip or, like, your fries.

Or they'll give you too many strips. And you're like, well, I got to eat them. Can't waste a strip. If you go to the South of our location, they give me like a strip or like your fries or they'll give you too many strips and you're like well i gotta eat them can't waste the strip location they give me an extra strip every single time they just like you yeah little strip teas well it's not teas because they give me too many his strips should drink that corona we could do a live breathalyzer podcast oh god didn't y'all do that? Oh, we did that. All right. Who won? Boosh. Makes sense. Have you seen him lately with the mullet? Depends on who you say win. No, I've not.

His mullet is glorious. I've not seen him. We were supposed to hang out recently. I'm thinking about getting one. Do you like, you should, because Duda's, I love Duda's. I think Duda looks great. Duda looks like a different human. He looks beautiful with his.

Looks like Jamie Todd. Go subscribe to Internet Party. Do it. It's the podcast that's also a party yeah that was actually me who saw duda in the street in chicago the other day and yelled internet party i love you duda i like that dude didn't stop he just kept on trucking i was trying to when he said he didn't stop i'm trying to imagine like did he ignore it did he like give him a little duda wave and keep running like what how do you think he responded the neighbor wave probably like it

not that duda is not approachable but like i would like to think that like if you approach duda like hey man just i've been reading your stuff for a while i love love internet party he would just go yeah yeah thanks i don't know and that's all he would have. Yeah, cool. Do you want to promote your podcast? He's a deep breath guy. Internet party. Yeah. Subs dog.

So anyways, I beat Randy's ass at disc golf on the regular. Has Randy ever beaten you? I've never beaten him. I am man enough to admit that I've never beaten him. But then again, I play probably 1% of the time that J-Bone does. One thing he does have over you, he hosts a game show behind a paywall. True. Do you do that?

I don't, no. True. Check it out. We're doing another one apparently. That's also a podcast that's a party. Wow. That's actually a podcast that's a game show. Yeah, what?

That's also a party. Well, it's funny because I imagine I'm not going to be loud on it because it's called Party Pod, and the last time I was on a Party Pod, a lot of people are saying it wasn't very enjoyable. Which pod was that? Saved by the Brunch. Wait, what'd you do? Did you just tank it?

He kept on yelling, Baba Booey, Baba Booey. Our Sir's penis hit the mic. That's what it was. Which Saved by the Brunch was that? That was the pink shirt one. Yeah, we all remember what you wore. Pool Burger. Oh, that was the best one.

Yeah, but I forgot I kept yelling Baba Booey. Which, Dave, of all people, you can respect that bit. I mean, I get the bit. I don't know how to react. Dylan was clearly not having fun. I should have ghosted the first one. Dylan still brings that up to me to this day. I handed my mic to somebody and I just left.

We had the youngest people in the company on. Somebody still brings that up to me to this day. I handed my mic to somebody and I just left. We had the youngest people in the company on and somebody was blasting SIGs. I don't know who it was. I saved that pod though after I destroyed it because I'm the one who instigated Dan into promoting his podcast as simply SupStock.

I said, Dan, aren't you going to promote your podcast? Because he was about to leave without promoting his podcast. And he just walks back to the mic and goes, oh, yeah, Sup Stog. Was that your highlight? Or is there something more memorable that you're known for? We've talked about before, but I don't know if we've ever. I guess we haven't had you on to really discuss. I've been on this podcast one time, probably in the last four years,

in both of its iterations i should say we've had micah's point of view but um you are the person who orchestrated the greatest heist in in history of podcasting the greatest thing i've ever done professionally personally sexually is that i got micah wiener verified on Twitter. It's pronounced Weiner. Okay. Well, I've heard it both ways. Well, it's Weiner. So what happened was this.

I mean, if you are not a longtime listener, you may not be familiar with the story. Micah decided a while back he was going to change his Twitter handle from Micah Weiner. So Micah, if you're new here, Micah's a guy that used to produce our old podcast, and he was actually a co-host of Too Much Dip, which is our sports vehicle. Now he's semi-unretired, potentially, partially. But he's still doing his thing. You might remember him. He used to play the tambourines in the background of the podcast. Yeah, it was really good.

He was the original Bangin' Chains, just on the mic. So he said he was going to change his Twitter handle from at Producer Micah to at Micah Weiner. So I was like, oh, well, okay. When he does that, I'm just going to go and steal Micah Weiner. Like, obviously, he doesn't know what he's doing. So he's like, Jared, Jared, how do I switch my handle over? Helped him do it.

I'm like, okay. First of all, not that hard to do, by the way. No, that's not. Didn't need to bring in J-Bone, but he did. Yeah, I don't know why Micah thought that he needed, like, out of everyone to ask for help, J-Bone? He should have asked you. You're the safe one. Yeah, like don't know why Micah thought that he needed... And out of everyone to ask for help, J-Bone? He should have asked you. You're the safe one. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm not going to do anything to Micah because Micah and I

were real ones. Yeah, worst decision he ever made. And so, I had preloaded a new email account made, and I had it typed in for username at Micah Weiner. Walk over to his computer, go, alright, Micah, so you're going to press this. It's going to change you to Producer Micah, and then you're just going to log out, go, all right, Micah, so you're going to press this. It's going to change you to producer Micah.

And then you're just going to log out, log back in and then, and then lock down Micah Weiner. Right when he pressed enter on producer Micah, I casually stroll back to my desk, pressed enter. Didn't help him out. A minute later, I hear, what have you done? And you guys might remember this. Micah aggressively ran over to my desk and like and like and like stood over

me and he bowed up to me he literally stood there was like what what what like didn't know what to do because like i didn't do anything illegal but like yeah and he knew um you somewhat stole his identity not something you straight up stole his identity in a way no legally so then my goal after obviously i locked down that account was to turn it into a parody account of Micah, where it sounds like you might be able to believe it's him, but he's saying really weird stuff, so you're kind of like, what's going on? What was the handle of the account that you stole? At

Micah Weiner. So his SEO, for SEO purposes, Not a good look. He had no choice but to get the account back under any circumstances necessary, and he eventually did. Well, I had no choice. Like he had no choice to get it back, I had no choice but to get it verified.

You had to do it to him. I had to. So what I did, I looked into all ways you can get verified. I applied for verification, which we used to be able to do. Shouts to all of us being verified minus Randy. Sorry, Randy. Yeah. I can't believe you guys hired a non-verified guy.

I bet Jay Perkins has a connect that you can get verified with when you get that job. It gives us a little bit of edge that we have one guy who might – he's just not worthy of it. Everybody at Bowling Media is verified. You guys can't say the same thing, but it's okay. Anyways, Brett's not very bad. I was probably not fair. Don't drag him down with you. No, I like that.

Yeah, sorry, dude. It shows your true character when you're getting roasted on a pod. Randy's ship is sinking, and he's just taking Brent with him. Absolutely love it. So I was like, okay. I applied for it, wasn't getting it. Micah was also at the same time applying for it for his producer Micah won and not getting it. So Twitter was just like, why is the same dude applying twice?

Then Dylan Chivery gave me the greatest idea of all time. We were brainstorming ways. I believe it was us four in the conference room, brainstorming ways I could potentially game the system because we didn't have a connect at Twitter or anything. This is what we did, by the way. Yeah, this probably took up a significant portion of our afternoon. Oh, this is half of a day.

This is an afternoon. We had six articles published on PGP, and we were like, all right, let's go to the conference room. That gnome one's doing well, man. Yeah, gnome's carrying us through the day. We're good. So Dylan said, what if you buy a Twitter ad? And I was like, that's the best, smartest thing I've ever heard.

Everybody knows Twitter makes no money. So if I pay Twitter $10 to promote one of the at Micah Weiner tweets, they might give me a little bit of leeway, right? They love it when you use their toys. They do. So what I did was i i made a tweet uh from at micah weiner that would that said this is the official official spelled with one f micah weiner twitter account all other accounts are malicious parodies

promoted that tweet paid ten dollars to have that suit promoted went to apply for verification and suddenly the driver's license photo thing showed up, which everybody knows. That means you're in. If they give you that, usually you don't get that option. He just got his driver's license last week. What?

Just like we always talked about. Okay. Great album, by the way. It's two of those in a month. I haven't listened yet, and it's because I'm scared that I'm going to like it so much that I'm going to drive it into the ground.

It's really good. Dave sounds pretty sour about it. Get it. It's entitled the album. No. So how Twitter verification works when you used to be able to apply, if they didn't give you the option to submit your driver's license photo, it was like a, Hey, you can apply, but you're not getting it.

Yeah. It was kind of like a little pat on the head. Like, yeah, go ahead and toss this. We'll check it out. I'll, I'll throw it to HR. So after doing Dylan's idea of buying a Twitter ad, I got the driver's license thing, which great, right? Well, now I had to steal Micah's driver's license. There's levels to this.

Levels. Yeah. And so I had to go. And I'm not going to admit to it publicly, but somehow I was able to procure Micah's driver's license. Well, just admit it publicly. Because I don't even know. Didn't you just walk over to his desk and take it? You just took a photo of it, right?

It's hard to say. It's hard to say. It's hard to say what happened. Did you drug Micah or something and then take his driver's license? So people are saying that the driver's license thing isn't that impressive, but what they aren't understanding

is I also two-factor authenticated Micah's phone. Not one, but two factors. What I had to do was I used his cell phone in the account. I don't know why I used his. I think my cell phone was taken, and I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to use Micah's. But then it sent him a text, and I had to somehow acquire his phone. Again, I don't know how. It just kind of showed up.

I don't either, but I genuinely want to know. It was sitting charging on his desk, and I don't know how I just kind of showed up. I don't either but can you I'm genuinely want to know It was sitting charging on his desk and I went over and tapped accept Perfect. Oh my god. So many things had to go right for this to work. No. Oh, yeah The world perfect storm the world smiled on J Bo and it so I woke up one day Looked over saw it said at Mike Weiner is now verified sent out a tweet that said it Micah Verified and then will to DeFreeze gave the news. Oh my god. I think, so we recently had a voicemail left on a Patreon episode

asking our favorite moments in Touching Base history, and I think the consensus was that I think we interviewed some big names, we had some fun on the pod, but I think the trademark moment was Micah finding out live on air that he had been verified on a separate account it was perfect and uh so what i've done here when uh micah

eventually got the account back because he bought me a hundred dollar steak dinner um and a hundred dollars it was after taxing was it josephine it was josephine house i was there you were was this when you were um it's it's wine, right? And you would just, she would pour you a glass and you would pound it. No, the first one that she poured, she poured J-Bone's first. And by the time she looped around the table to get back to J-Bone, his wine was gone. So that was actually. He face chugged our waitress. Why'd you do that?

It's a nice place. Well, people need, I did face chug her. People need to understand this though. Is face chugging a thing? That sounds like something. I got two steak dinger. People need to understand this, though. Is face chugging a thing? I... That sounds like something. I got two steak dinners out of this. Dylan Shivery...

Two steak dinners? Dylan said, if you get the Micah account verified... I don't know why I keep saying his last name. I think I just like saying it. Like, everybody knows who Dylan is. Say Dorn. Ooh, yeah. No, I'm going to say Dylan Shivery.

He said, if you get Micah verified, I will get you a steak dinner. And then Micah said, if you give me the account, then I'll give you a steak dinner. So I got one in the beginning before I sent all the tweets. And then I got one at the end. The second one I drove to, so I didn't drink. The first one I got absolutely shithoused at.

So you could say, I guess you had a lot of steak in this prank. Hit it. Hey, before you read these tweets, can we hear from Fitbod real quick? Oh, yeah. I thought I was the FitBod here. Yeah, this is actually perfect.

We actually brought the fittest person here in for FitBod. I mean, you clearly use it all the time. Don't get stuck doing the same workouts. Sound like my personal trainer. Monotony is the worst thing that you can have when it comes to getting fit. I love switching it up. You have to switch it up. You've got to keep your body guessing, David.

Making progress towards the future means you have to overcome new challenges. And FitBod creates a fitness program that continually adapts with new exercises and dynamic intensity that adjust to how you're progressing. So you'll be challenged to meet your goals at your own pace. I love confusing my silly little muscle fibers. Dude, I love how you do that too. I'm looking at your muscles right now. They're in the spin zone. They have no clue what's going on.

It's getting a little bulky. You play too much,ave thank you there's no perfect body that everyone can achieve but what we can do is continually to become better versions of ourselves no workout is one size fits all and fit bod creates a fitness program that continually adapts to you so you stay challenged with new exercises pacing and intensity based on where you are and where you want to be we've all downloaded this app, and I'll say this. It's surprisingly easy. I thought it was going to be kind of a beating before, and when I downloaded it and just started entering my stuff,

I was like, this is shockingly easy. Well, I'm one of the few people in the world that got more in shape throughout quarantine. Not to brag, not to flex. And now I'm like, should I start going to the gym a little bit more? Or I can still do at-home workouts with FitBot as well. But one of the scariest things is when I get to the gym, what do I do? I've got a couple extra two and a half dumbbells I can give you for curls.

That would be great. Well, FitBot understands that the path to achieving your best look looks different for everybody, and it creates a program based on your unique body, experience, and environment. And their algorithm uses data and analytics, which we're big fans of data and analytics around here. Love jumping into the data. Just all the STEM boys out there and ladies. But this helps you build on your last workout to maximize your results, whether you're exercising three days a week or twice a day.

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Get 25% off your membership at FitBod.me slash steam. That's 25% off at FitBod.me slash steam. All right, J-Bone, can you do us the honor of reading some of your favorite tweets? Yes. Yes, I can. He's got a hole in his chest. Oh, shit. Sorry.

That was a chest hole lose video. My bad. Let me pull up. Do you actually have the chest luge video on your phone? I think we need to meme that. Have we ever talked chest luge with you on here? No. We can't after I read these tweets.

Okay. So at the dinner where I gave Micah his Twitter account back, I decided I needed to screenshot a few of my favorites because I knew he was going to delete them, which he did. He ended up deleting every single one but one that just said guacamole which i believe he's since deleted guacamole all right here's a sampling of my favorites some of these a lot of people know because they've been memed including the first one um and i'll read all the definitions so people understand the nuance right

lick this corn dog like i'm your little carnival slut. Okay, that's the one I remember. And then it's got the moaning face. Oh, God. What's the moaning face for people at home? Yeah, that's good. Dude, your eyebrows did it correctly. You killed that.

That was really good. That tweet alone is enough for me to be like, all right, J-Bone, here's a blank check. Give me the fucking account. So I responded to it, lol, Micah, you-Bone, here's a blank check. Give me the fucking account. So I responded to it. Lol, Micah, you wild. Wait, you responded to your own tweet? Well, Micah tweeted it.

Oh, you responded to it from yours. Yeah. Okay. So guess how that tweet did. That tweet, in its prime, right before it got deleted, retweets and likes. I don't know. I'm going to say 25 RT, 300 likes. Very close.

It was 23 retweets, 250 likes. Why was I so close? I don't know. That was weird. That's creepy. It really is. This is like how you look up everyone's net worth before we do an episode. I don't know what we're talking about.

You like shoehorned in celebrities so you can talk about their net worth. I kind of sold the PFT bit so every tweet had one misspelling minimum in it. You're doing Based Micah. Yeah, Based Micah, yeah. Here's another one. Very famous. And when I looked at this, I actually didn't know there was a small detail a lot of people forget about. It is spit on it, bae, with three drip emojis afterwards.

Yeah. What I didn't know is that in bae, bae is spelled B and then the attached A-E. Oh, that's good. Ah, yes. That's good. Okay. Oh, that's good. Ah, yes. That's good. Okay. It's very global. It is very global.

People in Australia. Isn't that what Elon Musk named his kid? Wait, what is the attached A-E? What is that even from? I'm not going to—I have no idea. Is that some math shit? It's from spit on it, Bay. Is that some—Randy, is that calculus bullshit?

Dude, Randy loves trigonometry. The other day, I was like, Randy, take this shot. He was doing the cosine of a tangent. Swag. Next one. Do you want to know what the actual character is? What is it? Yeah, kind of.

It's originally a ligature representing the Latin diphthong, A-E. Whoa. A lot of things there. You're a big fan of diphthongs. I'm not. No. You should sell diphthongs for too much dip. When I a big fan of dip thongs. I'm not. No. You should sell dip thongs for too much dip. When I dip, you dip, we dip.

Dip thong? Yeah, dip thong. He's up against Miley, though. I don't know. I'm like, oh, Miley or dip thong. Miley Kaufman? Yeah, Miley. Next up.

A lot of people like this one. Whiskey in my Yeti cup. Eat a ass. Let you know what's up. It Micah. I don't even like this one. Whiskey in my Yeti cup. Eat a ass. Let you know what's up. It Micah. I don't even remember that one. Ass is spelled with two dollar signs. That's better.

Makes it less searchable. So while you're doing these, is Micah like, hey, do you mind toning it down? Like this is, I mean, come on. He didn't talk to me for like three months, what Wallace is going on. He just wouldn't talk to me. He probably made it worse. No, it's a lie. He would talk to me, but we months what wallace was going on he just wouldn't talk to me he probably made it worse no it's a lie he would talk to me but we wouldn't talk about this i think it made him too mad i was legit worried when he first realized what you had done that he was gonna go fight you that he was gonna blow up to you in content alley and try to throw hands pre-exhibition though so oh i just realized too

what was the pre-ex exhibition. That's gross. Hit it. I like that J-Bone's running the board. J-Bone's had a soundboard for like two weeks, and now he's just directing it. I was just telling him what to do. The profile image for Micah was the picture of all you guys when we had Mia Khalifa at Eisenhower's, but I photoshopped Micah's head on everybody's body, including Mia Khalifa's body.

I actually think that was my idea, to photoshop his head on all of them. He's spagger jacking me. I think I actually might have done the actual photoshop job of that. I think you told me to do it. I think it was your idea to tell me, but I think I did it. Do you know why? Because it's not very good. I think you would have done it better than I did.

Next up. Oh, one of my all-time favorites. I'm a simple man with a simple plan. I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence. Hashtag guacamole. Okay. And then he responded to that tweet, to his own tweet, and said,

man, I love that Nick Cage. He good. He good. Has he? Okay. At any point, did Micah from his regular account, like, respond or interact in any way? No. No. Hey, the intern just walked in. Should we tell him I'm the president of the board? Should we trick him?

There's no way he knows who J-Bone is, right? Does he have shades on? Yeah, he's wearing sunglasses right now. It's indoors. I respect him. I mean mean i get it like i was happy when phil won too much it's a little too far too much dip um and then uh i'll just zoom through the last three tootsie roll are my favorite candy fam some say they look like Doody, but your boy eat ass, so I don't care. That's not even subtle. That's so mean.

You were clearly... I don't even remember that one. You're a different wave at that one. There's a hashtag guacamole at the end of it too. You were tweeting from the moon. Thank you for explaining that, Fake Micah. That might be the funniest one. It's good.

I forgot. Okay. How about everyone in the office keep calling me narc Cuckerberg. And I don't like that because I'm neither a narc or a cuck. Okay. It's explained it. And then, and then last up is very short.

It's just up late eating porridge. Why porridge? I don't know. Porridge has one R too. So, well, that's a, that's the best thing I ever did in my life, in my content career. Well, can we talk about the worst thing you ever did in your life in your content career? The infamous Cheslew's video?

You could also make a case that the best thing you did in your content career was titled the Kid Rock Donald Trump Hype Video. Oh, that was my favorite thing. Funniest title in the history of the company. Can you relay that title? Don't even remember it, but I know it was unbelievable. It was, this kid rock Donald Trump hype video is so electric that it'll make you want to build a wall and run through it.

Yeah, made sure not to title that one under my name. That was TFM intern. Not me. No, it was totally the intern. No, yeah, the intern did that. You just cleared it. You published it. A lot of people are saying that you helped get Trump elected.

How do you feel about that? I haven't heard that one, but I was more so helping Kid Rock get more relevant. That's fair. You know he has a steakhouse. I do. I heard about that. Dude, that's where you need to finagle another steak out of Micah, and you need to make sure the steakhouse you'll go to is Kid Rock's.

Where's it at? Do we have J-Bo just show up to Micah's bachelor party in New Orleans? Oh my god. That would actually legitimately ruin his weekend. Micah and I, we're on good terms ever since I gave him that back. We're chill. I went on Mind of Micah. Mind? Of Micah.

Of Micah. Of Micah. Of Micah. Will's not going to do it. What the fuck? Well, I was waiting for you to do it. I just did it. I was giving you the dramatic pause. Yeah, I thought you were going to do it

in Randy Cuck's dramatic pause. I was just going to wait until one of you started talking, but then Randy decided to jump in. What's the little sound effect? Bloop bloop? Or something? I don't know.

It's nice. Oh, yeah. It's well done. I like it. I enjoy it. Weren't you saying that he just reads articles verbatim? Mike is free of the week.

Oh, yeah, that would ruin his weekend. But, yeah, you tanked the T.F.M. Instagram with the chess luge. It was a Phil Friday post. I just didn't put Phil Friday. Oh, see, I feel like that's revisionist history. So, yeah, you were given the keys to, like, straight up just run that account for a little bit. And then you did the Chessluge video, and the keys swiftly got taken out of your account. No, that's a complete lie.

I made that account go from $800,000 to $1.2 million. I'm not bragging. I wouldn't brag about that, but that's what happened. Are you still doing bone zones? Yes. Like, do you ever just hit Ross? Do you ever surprise Ross with an impromptu bone zone? I don't, but there are two bone zones behind the paywall at the Ross Boland Podcast Patreon. Do you ever just hit Ross? Do you ever surprise Ross with an impromptu bone zone?

I don't, but there are two bone zones behind the paywall at the Ross Boland Podcast Patreon. See, I don't like you paywalling bone zones. Yeah, that's fucked up. Although I do, a guy I know gave me his login, so I've been listening through with his. I'm kidding. Was it a tired guy? J.J. Boland looks so mad. Was it a tired guy who gave it to you?

Yeah, no, it was the real Jesus jesus yeah he's a he's a big fan i forgot i forgot until you brought him up the other day that isn't that is a a pgp commenter i had forgotten i miss i missed the the the commenters in a way they were really mean but i still miss them i miss the ones who made me laugh, such as Tired Guy. You just miss Tired Guy. There was a lot of sales ones. There was a lot of funny names. Can't say the same for your wing of the company, Joe. Yeah, there were some bad names there.

Not great. Every other week, it's like, hey, do we need to make it So they have to enter A Facebook profile To comment We never actually did Yeah things are getting Really fucked up Over the TFN Well then

Then Doran killed the forums Well True That's his legacy Unfortunately True That's what he's known for I want to circle back

Oh we did it He did it Hit the button Hit it Is that the button? I don't know. Do we have a button? We never got to finish the Randy disc golf thing about how I consistently beat his ass.

I think we did finish that. Yeah, I don't think we closed the book on disc golf. No one's asking to circle back on the disc golf talk. He tied me once, and I had to sink a 60-foot jump putt for the tie. Randy was so cocky. Oh, dude, that's electric. Randy walked over to me, was standing next to me all cocky, like, oh, I hope you make it, knowing I was probably going to miss.

That is how Randy sounds. And I can't even imagine how insufferable you were after hitting that putt. Jab on, you're not going to make it, bro. The thing about that, too, was I could hit a 10-foot putt to close him out totally, or I could just lay it up and then get it for par and then make sure that, like, then he would have to hit that 60-foot putt. that 60 that's your problem because you know what I always say and then I didn't laying up no laying up thank you Jared yeah he missed it I can see J-Bone like

convincing him to lay up too being like I did yeah like no no if you if you do this and this it's like a safe move why wouldn't you do it he called me a coward if I didn't go for it and then I didn't go for it and then he tied and continues to call me a coward. That's an awesome story. Clip that. I will. J-Bone versus Randy. I'm in, dude.

You know I'm in. Oh, yeah. You promised me a long time ago, and I'm injured right now. The only one is Dylan. You've got to get him out of bed. I think he would be the best one of all of you. Probably. Definitely.

No, I used to go out back with y'all, with you and Prim, though, at the old office. You did? And y'all put up the chains. I do enjoy it. I can't even do the front flicking thing, whatever you call it.

That's not what I heard. Oh. Oh, he's picking his nose and flicking them. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's what you're talking about, huh? Dude, the other day,

he finished a 30 rack of Bush Light, and then he pulled off the pop tabs, put them on his finger, and was flicking those. Remember that? That was for a TikTok,

though, Will Wright Spears. All right all right guys the club is in now things are looking good we love what we're seeing the best one was when he drank the four loco 12 pack he he entered another dimension after 12 four i don't recommend doing this i'm foreign i'm as drunk as i usually am after eight. We have this thing where we want to hire him, but we don't really know why. Well, we know why, but we don't know how he would add value. We just take him to get drunk in our studio every day. He's like, hey, man. We have to drive him home from work

every day. It's like, fine. It's kind of annoying. We have an alcohol sponsor, so you can only drink these. He has to drink 12 Vizzies every day. We need you to completely sell out the bit for us just do randy rates vizzies i mean that's fair wait actually that should be that'd be a good sponsor video for tiktok cut this out randy just to make sure that no one steals this idea is his name really rusty yeah rusty featherstone that's so tight that's so frat dude

is he college kid yeah he goes to bates i think which, which is Dave's favorite college. Been there. I got my master's there. Damn it. I've never heard of the school. Will messed up because instead of saying the joke himself, he goes, oh, Dave's going to say that, but you would have had time to say it yourself, Will. All I was going to say is he's getting his bachelor or master's, and then Dave just, he got it. It was efficient.

Actually, I was like Doogie Howser. I got it when I was in high school. Home sick one day. Okay. You set a record. PR. Yeah. Can we talk crypto?

Oh, yeah. Wild on marathon. Like I said, it's good to be in a nice crypto atmosphere with Randy mining basic attention token over here. Well, we actually have a theme song for today's segment. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. It slaps. It is my humble opinion, and there's nothing humble about me.

Bitcoin will go to fucking zero. Oh. One day. Microsecond. Like that. 99.9999% of the people that own

Bitcoin are fucking morons hey imbeciles that's just it some of you in this room

fall into that category well you nailed that who is really behind Bitcoin I don't like this guy I'll just say it yeah this guy's this guy's got a fucked up mentality when it comes to my BTC.

Yeah. This guy seems like he would fire you the day before Christmas. Randy is the one who loves this video the most. We want to talk about it, Randy. It just keeps on popping up on my Reels feed. Who is he? I think his name is Dan Pena. I think that's how you pronounce it.

And he's just this short Wall Street frosty white haired guy. Okay, we stan our short kings, Randy. Yeah, what are you doing, man? How'd you have to say that? Yeah, that's fucked up, dude. Edit that out, Will. Yeah, use this, dude. Hit it, Will.

We love everyone here. He just has this blue pin suit and he just looks ridiculous just like throwing a tantrum that people are making money off of not Wall Street, off of Bitcoin. And it's hilarious. And all the comments on it are always like, he's just mad that he didn't get in early to the moon. Like, fuck this guy. It's hilarious. You guys will not be surprised. From Jacksonville, Florida.

He has Duval written all over him, sadly. I regret to say. His website, the official website of dan pena the trillion dollar man he's not a trillionaire yeah i would know who this guy is maybe he's trill but he's no trillionaire yeah i don't think he's trill at all um the best part about that is when he 99.9 of people are morons and the people in the crowd who came to watch him speak he's like some of you guys are probably morons. That's like being at a concert and being like, our music sucks.

You guys are idiots for listening to us right now. I was actually at a concert at Stubbs seeing Declan McKenna. Notable. He sings the, everybody plays a beautiful game like in Brazil. You know that song, Will. I still have no clue who you're talking about. I like the remix that Martin Skrillex did of that song. I'm glad you went to it. I don't know the actual names or artists behind the FIFA songs.

I can just sing them verbatim every time they come on. So can Sally. Oh. Did you all see, sorry, did you see Stevie Nicks dropped off ACL? Are you serious? Replacing her with Kelly Clarkson. Are you being serious or not? No, I made that up.

Is Stevie Nicks even playing ACL? We're breaking down the whole lineup right now, actually. I think she is. People like when you guys do that. Dude, since you've been gone is a banger. I love Kelly Clarkson. Song of the Summer. Ah, Kelly Clarkson.

Don't know the reference. Oh, really? 40-year-old virgin? Ah, been a while. Me and Randy are just on another wavelength over here. You want to know a funny 40-year-old virgin story? One time I went to a bar called The Loon. It's now moved.

It's in Dallas. I was wearing a button-down tucked into some slacks. I'd been working or something, and some guy, and I had somewhat of a come-over. Guy's like, oh, 40-year-old virgin over here. And he completely owned me. I was like, fuck, that's really good. I gave him my kind of like this, you know,

dolphinsfan.gif, like, okay. You should have cold-cocked him. No, I just left. Why didn't you sucker punch him? I went back to my parents' house where I was living at the time. You should have cold cut him. Just hit him with a gob of ghoul right in the face. Hey, can you answer a question for me that everyone's wondering?

Jimmy Johns or Jersey Mike's? Jersey Mike's, 100%. I hate Jimmy Johns. Everybody who's ever worked there or eaten there is an idiot. 99% of the people in this room are morons. That's all I had yeah no i just i jimmy johns in my opinion is one step above subway which subway is the worst of the sub chains which one's easier to eat with diamond hands jersey mike's because you can just wash the the mike's way right off of it i mean because i get I get the juice. You were going to put something on my sandwich, but it was Dave's way and you said it looked like mayo.

No, it was Dave's way. It was my protein that I'm watching. Actually, that's good. It's a powder. Yeah, it's a little side hustle I've got going. I wasn't going to say anything.

We're putting powder on sandwiches now? It doesn't seem like it's going to be easy to eat. Caliperscbd.com. Taking it raw. Oh, yes. Please check that out.

Can you imagine not having CBD all over your cold cuts? I took a CBD last night. Just one? Yeah. Just one CBD? I had to wind down after that Mavericks game. So anyways, this is the crypto segment. Right?

I don't know. You're the crypto king. You have a group chat with people. I mean, you listen to this podcast, J-Bone. You know that a lot of people in this room have group chats that I'm not a part of. And you're in that same boat. You know what? Can I out you? When I was at your house Thursday night, I was getting the barbecue ready, just kind of setting it up.

And Will's phone was next to me. And I looked. There was a little flash. I looked over. And a group chat popped up that I don't even remember the name of it. But you were in it. And I was like, I'm certainly not in this. Oh, I know what that was. Do you want to be in this one? I don't even know what it is. I thought that you haven't wanted to be in this one. No, you don't want remember the name of it, but you were in it. And I was like, I'm certainly not in this. Do you want to be in this one?

I don't even know what it is. I thought that you haven't wanted to be in this one. No, you don't want to be in this one. It's the Cole Campbell fan club. Who's in it? Well, it started just being – so I don't follow Cole Campbell. So I was just getting my content from this group chat when it was good content. It was Micah, me, and Dylan.

And then it became evident that J-Bone was texting all of us separately about him. And it was like, okay, we need to usher J-Bone into this group chat. I like that you saw that. I did. I looked over and I was like, oh, I'm not even going to think. I'm not going to get mad. Most of my contributions are commenting on the equipment that he consistently acquires. Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars of recording.

Get money, Cole. And his coffee regimen. It's pretty good. Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars of recording. Dude, get money, Cole. And his coffee regimen. It's pretty good. Booming loud? I mean, dude, it's booming. It is booming. So anyway, what's the deal with crypto? Oh, it's...

I have not sold. Yeah, no, you gotta have diamond hands. Will, the reason why Will's not in that group text is he does not have enough exposure. I'm sorry, unfortunately. How much exposure do I need? How much Bitcoin do I have to buy in order to be in this group chat? I'll do it right now.

50% of your net worth. He was asking me about BTS. BTS is only traded on the small exchanges right now, though. Yeah, but he was thinking about looking at Sonos, too. And I was like, oh, it's kind of different. I mean, I would say they're really apples to oranges. Agree. Agree.

And I think D-Pen would agree. Yeah. I'm more bullish think D-Pen would agree. Yeah. I'm more bullish on D-Pen 15. Daniel Pena 15. That's a... That was his username. Penis. He's making a penis joke.

I thought it was D-Pen Noodle Boy. I mean, I did have a penis joke as my username, or my AOL screen name for a long time. I was Wildo8. What? Really? Yeah, and a teacher asked me one time about my username,

and I said it was Wildo. Wildo! Oh. Oh, Wildo's a good go-getter. He's a good go-getter. Well, none of those usernames are as bad as the guy that me and Dave play Warzone with, my buddy from back home.

Booty stag? No. Say it. I'll say it. It's not xenophobic or anything. It's not. His Xbox gamer tag is handjob swag. Okay.

By the way, doesn't know Fajita Boy's swag or anything. So it just happens that J-Bone has two people. So when you're dropping and you're trying to strategize stuff, when you're dropping at the bank, as I like to do, do you say, like, hey, handjob. Handjob, over here, handjob. First game I did, and J-Bone was like, you can call him Mark or whatever it is. He rocks with you. He's rocking with us.

Go to my Twitter, twitter.com slash Jared Borslow, and look at my Warzone clips and you'll see a lot of times the bottom left this is handjob swag so fun fact

he actually on Xbox that was his name Xbox banned him so then he bought a PS4 why did he get banned? because the name is I guess

against their terms and conditions oh yeah handjob but then Playstation's fine with it what is Playstation? well it's three different words, right? That's what you call it.

Hand, job, swag. I mean, there's nothing wrong with those three words. I'm a big fan of catching these hands. I like having a job. You can put swag after anything. You can. Like the Hita boys. But yeah, so the joke is like he meets his boss in the office.

They find out they both play Warzone. It's like, oh, hey, man, we should drop what's your what's your game tag uh handjob swag i don't know if this i don't know if this is he an xbox or playstation boy playstation because on playstation if you change your username you can have it say like formally this and have your old username on there he should just change it but keep the old one so that's something i didn't really think through when i got back into gaming when i created the new one because i was like oh i just want to do something that like i would have done when i was like 18 like something idiotic and now like i'm obviously 36 and um i'm meeting you know people like hop in like oh here's my buddy so and so and they're like oh what's up fita uh so what's

up with that name like i'm like uh it's just kind of a bit i don't know and they don't know i do podcasts like how do you even make money is that like radio it's just a whole a bit. I don't know. And they don't know I do podcasts. Like, how do you even make money? Is that like radio? It's just a whole thing. Yeah. See, I changed mine from Will to Freeze because I thought that had major narc vibes using your actual name. So I just changed it to Pines with the Lads. Just at Klein, why don't you? Legitimately his first and last name.

Yeah. I play with a dude who listens to this podcast. Swine Flubiak? Whose gamertag is his first name, space, last name, but it's a name that is clearly only one person in America has that name. Dylan Chivurri? It's not him. It's somebody else.

I don't want to out him. You're just asking if he's swatted at that point. Yeah. If I out him, he'll get swatted. That's how you know you've made it as a streamer, if you get swatted. I don't even know what getting swatted means. It's when you're streaming live on Twitch, and somebody finds out your address, and they send a SWAT team to raid your house, and then the SWAT team shows up in the background swatted means. It's when you're streaming live on Twitch and somebody finds out your address

and they send a SWAT team to raid your house and then the SWAT team shows up in the background of the stream. That's good. It's incredibly illegal. That's good. Yeah. How many times has that actually happened?

Over 100. Enough for it to be a thing. It's common. It's really common, actually. So if you're a big Twitch streamer, you need to talk to your local police station and be like, hey, here's the deal. I stream live.

You're probably going to get some calls. Here's my number. Call me if you ever get a call and I'll set the record straight. What if you're getting like 150 concurrence? You guys are probably fine. Damn. All right, Jared. You let him talk to you like that, Randy? Yeah, what the fuck? Next happy hour live, I'm definitely swatting Dave.

Please don't. I have a wife and a young child at home. He might like the flashing lights Rosie would like the shadows No she would not Yeah she would like him too much She'd just be chasing him for the entire time Can we talk about Taft real quick?

Please If you don't know Taft is a men's footwear brand specializing in unique bold boots and shoe designs They're uniquely designed and they design them with boldness in mind To ensure all their products are as unique and stylish as their customers. We're unique and stylish, I think. You're at least unique, J-Bone. I'm stylish. I'm dripping right now.

I didn't own a Jack boot until we got Taft on board. I didn't know what a Jack boot was. So I had been gun-shy about Chelsea boots for the longest time, and then Taft came on board, and I was like, you know what? It's Chelsea season. Great boot, terrible soccer club. Oh, it always gets back to soccer for season. Great boot, terrible soccer club. Oh, it always comes back to soccer for Will. God, they're taking strays during ad reads now.

That's tough. You don't care, man, truly. These things are handcrafted in Europe. Probably pretty big in La Liga. You were born in Europe. I was, actually. You could say you were crafted in Europe. I didn't have a jack boot when I was a baby, but now I do.

Very interesting. Thank you. I had some pulled pork the other day that it was actually, it wasn't pork, it was jackfruit? Jackboot. One of the two. Something. These guys, they searched the globe looking for the right factories, and they found the very best in Spain. España, Dave, home of La Liga, as you said.

Each of the shoes is handcrafted with generational shoemakers, artists by their own right, and each product is hand-painted, hand-cut, hand-stitched. A lot of hands. Very handsy. I like it. Swag. This allows only for the best parts of leather to be used, the highest quality.

Their products are built to last. They source the highest quality materials in the world to make sure the best shoes and boots are created on their watch. I'm going to be stepping out this summer in the Monaco Loafer. That's my next acquisition from them, and I just want to say look out. Ooh, Monaco. It's hard to pass people in those loafers. Well, I get it.

F1. I watch F1. Don't worry about it. All their leathers are full grain to ensure they're not only comfortable, durable, too. They get better with age. Their shoes and boots are featured Blake-stitched construction for longevity and added flexibility, and their soles are made from staffed leather with rubber injections for traction. You can go to TaftClothing.com and use promo code CB10 for 10% off your order of any full-priced boot, shoe, or sneaker purchase.

Again, that's TaftClothing.com. Use CB10 for 10% off of any full-priced boot, shoe, or sneaker purchase. Hey, Will, call me Daniel Ricardo because with my Monicas, I'm going to be holding people off because they're going to be trying to steal them from me. Wow. That's good. That's really good. That's good. Didn't they used to call you Blake Stitched?

What? Wasn't that part of it? Can we talk about the match? We're early on this. Oh, yeah. This was just released today. I don't like that we're talking about this right now. Why?

Because we should wait for like two weeks before we get to it. What? We're early. We're way too early. I know, that's the problem. We don't do that here. See, when J-Bone's in the building, we break golf news early. SEO J-Bone. We're also going for two hours today, right? Yeah, we're doing a marathon pot.

No, we can't do that because Man U's playing for a trophy this afternoon. I gotta get out of here. I got a kid to take care of too. The people said... Did you forget we'll have a kid? No, I knew. You didn't even congratulate me on a kid. Dude, I haven't seen you in like a year. It's true. I think I liked your picture. Thank you. Y'all went

to Tucci's together? Yeah, you weren't invited. I didn't know you guys did Tucci's. I thought Tucci's was kind of my thing. No, I showed you Tucci's, bro. I don't think you did. Joe Nolet. Joe Nolet showed me Tucci's. He must have been in Italy or something. Stanley Yelnats? He's probably digging a hole. Yelnats.

Okay. I hate... I don't like the vibe that you two are on right now, the wave that you're riding together. It's just all, like, early 2000s. That's just too damn bad! Another holes reference. I should mute you, Randy, but because I don't hate the fact that you and J-Bone are such good friends, I'm keeping you not muted.

Will, stand mute, cancel. Me, Randy, Dave. You have to mute the person you mute. No, I'm not doing this. Let's talk about Phil and Tom versus Bryson and A-Rodge. Wait, doing what to Tom? Okay. The fuck?

I'm excited for the match. Why are they doing this in Montana? Big Sky. The Sky's big there. Yeah, it is. I've been actually there. I got some really good. The sky's big there. Yeah, it is. I've been actually there. I got some really good huckleberry gummy bears there. No, I thought you were in Big Guy, Montana.

It was Big Montana. You guys watch the cable TV show, Big Sky? No. It's the number one show on cable. Is it like the good-like version of Yellowstone? Yes. It's not good. Do they have a helicopter budget? Probably. They have the CBS money, I believe.

We have the CBD money. Oh. Oh. I did one last night. I think I told you all that. Can they create a more punchable team than Bryson and A-Rod? Whoa. I don't want this A-Rod slander on my timeline.

Why? Dude, he's leaving you. Let me just say. He's going to be a Bronco next year. He deserves it. He deserves to win. What's A-Rod? Like a four handicap? He's leaving you. Let me just say. He's going to be a Bronco next year. He deserves it. He deserves to win. What's A-Rodge? Like a four handicap?

He doesn't deserve to win. It's not like he's gone his entire career without a title. Yeah, but he should have had like seven by now. Maybe he should have won the games. There's no defense. The Packers have no defense. They haven't had any defense for years. Do y'all want to read way too much into this for A-Rodge?

Like the fact that he's agreeing to do this and he's agreeing to partner with Bryson. When is this taking place? Like the fact that he's agreeing to do this and he's agreeing to partner with Bryson? When is this taking place? In the future. Are there like OTAs? Stuff that he's going to miss for this? I don't think he's missing.

No. Although he did not show up to the voluntary. It was voluntary though. Just saying. But if you're the leader of the team, you have to show up

to that voluntary, right? Yeah. A-Rodge is going to be hitting some pretty little drivers. He's a four handicap. What does that mean? I don't even know

what you're talking about. No, wait, no. Big Little Lies. Shailen Woodley. See, I always get those confused. Big Little Lies, Pretty Little Liars.

It seems like they were going for the confusion there. It's like Bed Bath & Beyond and Body Works. Bed Bath & Body Works is the mistake I've made often. I like that one.

They're very similar, Randy. Don't what me. Turn his mic off. Can we mute Randy? No, leave him on. But yeah, I think I like Bryson and A-Rod. I'm rooting for them all the way. Do you want the stigma of partnering with Bryson at this point?

Yes. You do? Yes. You interviewed him. You should know how tight he is. Well, he was just getting into functional strength at that point. Some people are saying that we were ground floor, Bryce, and kind of breaking that news that he was getting into fitness.

You literally did. No one else asked him questions about his physique on that entire time. I remember when he was first bulking up and everybody was talking about it on Twitter. I got the video from Dan, and we kind of threw it out there. Like, oh, yeah. I was hoping maybe people will notice we were early on this. And no, we didn't really. No one really no one cares just fun to talk about he was a nice guy which i mean that only gets you so far but i know one person who doesn't think he's a nice guy uh was it tom

hoagie he doesn't think anyone's nice he doesn't think limp biscuits funny who i was mainly talking about brooks kepka oh yeah yeah yeah we didn, yeah. Brooks Koepka. We didn't get to this Monday. Yeah, well, that's because it didn't drop until Monday night, David. Makes sense. I'm a silly bitch. What are you doing? Am I the only one that thinks it's a bad look for him to be so rattled by Bryson? No, I think that's a good take. Yeah, visibly and audibly.

If that person owns that much real estate in your head, I don't understand how you can visibly show that in like a public setting. I've seen a number of theories on what Bryson said or what set Brooks off. And the one I think I like the most is that it was his spikes. Yes. Because if you hear the audio, like a lot of audio people, a lot of Timo's out there have been upping the audio. It's a joke for like three people.

It is. What's a Timo? But they're all in this room. It's our audio intern. Wow. Shout out to Timo. Is it that guy? No, it's Adam.

It's very loud. The concrete, the golf spikes, because he plays with the old school spikes, I think. I think Tiger does too, if I'm not mistaken. I literally just read a reply tweet saying that, so I don't know if that's true at all. I don't know if Nike would be happy with him doing that. Can you even buy regular spikes these days so I don't know if that's true at all. I don't know if Nike would be happy with him doing that. Can you even buy regular spikes these days? I don't know. I remember as a little kid, my dad would come home from playing golf.

He would walk in on the kitchen floor, and they would make that noise. I thought that was the coolest thing. Do you have disc golf shoes? I was pretty bored. Yeah, disc golf shoes. So they're still early stages of actually making a straight-up disc golf shoe. The one that has been in development for years now, the brand is called Idio, I-D-I-O, which I don't think they realize that's one letter off from idiot.

They're probably going to rebrand eventually. Most people just wear Adidas Terexes out on the course. And by the way, if you're a disc golfer who listens to Circling Back, please DM me because I would like to talk disc golf with you. We are few and far between. It's a small niche group, and hit me up. Grow the sport. It says something about this.

When you Google disc golf shoe, the first product that shows up is an On sneaker. I was going to say On has disc golf vibes. Never have seen anybody wearing those. Honestly, how much do they cost? $150. Way too much for disc golf. That's like five years of discs.

You don't want to get the ash from your J on it. I'm just going to wear my ALDs on this golf course. That would be the biggest flex in the world if you just disc golfed in your ALD New Balance collaboration sneakers. People are saying you can play in whatever shoes Dylan was wearing in that one photo from Colorado. Dude, why? People are roasting him. Those are hiking boots, or hiking shoes. They're supposed to be swag.

Why is he rocking them with Lee Pipes? I know. No one's going to tell you right. I'm wearing polo shirts around while hiking. I would do that. You're just walking. Then again, if I would do it,

it's probably a sign. You shouldn't do it. It's a callback. Hard walk. Thank you for doing that. Thank you. Thank you for throwing your drink into the trash can. Did you watch the last match?

I watched about, it was, it was the day after Thanksgiving if I'm not mistaken and I think I watched like the first like four holes and they were playing so bad that it was taking forever and I was like yeah I got other shit I want to go do. It's kind of fun. I think there was like a football game What's so funny? I was just doing the mic I was doing the mic a bit of just loudly throwing something into the trash can.

Only that trash can's not metal. Why would he do that? He produced the show. If anything, he should get onto us for making noises off mic. And he would just basketball toss an old hamburger, something from his taco bar that he had up there, into the trash can. Not to be that guy as also another producer,

I never want to leave this room to go to the bathroom. Didn't he just constantly leave and slam the door? He would take phone calls. He would take phone calls. He would take phone calls in the middle of a podcast. It was awesome. Ross would drink out of a Yeti that had ice in it, and you could kind of hear the ice clanking,

and he'd be like, hey, can you not have ice in your drink? And we're all like, dude, what are you doing over there? Can you not windmill dunk your trash? He was doing an omelet station. Why did he have those taco shells up there for so long? Dude, there's like a box of old El Paso taco shells that just sat

there for like a year. Like, what are you doing? Are you just snacking on shells? And he's like the biggest Tex-Mex snob of all time. There's no way. They were there for so long because he would never fucking use them. He ate bananas and then that caused it. He had the bushel of bananas. It's like we're meeting some potential investors or something. He walks up, and he has just three bushels.

He's holding them like it's a baby. My bushels. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, the match. Yeah, that'd be cool. It'll be cool. You know what, Bryson? Content guy.

All the bullet points and timestamps for today's episode need to be taken as lightly as humanly possible Yeah we're sorry We really went into crypto If you like J-Bone you're really going to like this episode Inversely Wait say it finish it Man so how about A-Raj

Yeah he's leaving the team Like I said he deserves a championship It looks like he's doing shrooms in Hawaii right now with Miles Teller. That's the bigger story. He puts off microdose vibes. Miles Teller only has a Twitter so he can talk Phillies and tweet out dope vacation pics. Is he a Philly guy? I didn't know that.

Yeah, he loves the Phillies. He's the biggest celebrity Phillies fan that I know of. Is he from Easttown or whatever? Easton? What is it? I watched episode one last night. Oh, look at you. I'm all caught up. Your boy's all caught up.

What'd you think about episode one? I haven't watched it. They did a good job of not letting me know what the hell is going on and who anybody is. It's not a great first episode. It's the opposite of the night of where they don't just lead with the best episode. It gets better as you go. That's what I've heard.

You didn't like when the lawyer was just scratching himself with a pencil, like his shoe? I love it when people scratch their feet with pencils. Micah used to do that in the studio all the time. Yeah, but he had that plantar fasciitis thing. I liked John Turturro with that role. He was disgusting. That was a gross human. We do stand

our kings with foot problems, though, just to make that crystal clear. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I want to go to Hawaii with Miles Teller. I didn't know they were boys. They posted that Kentucky Derby photo. I think they're just de facto boys. You low-key big-time me. I dropped that in the group, and I was like, Miles, is that Miles Teller?

And you're like, oh, yeah, actually, here's how they're connected. That's not how I typed it. I read it that way. Miles Teller currently has a better body than Aaron Rodgers per these photos. Fitbot.me. There's not a lot of QBs out there that are just yoked up. True. Like Cam Newton's first team all body.

Arms are a little bit too big and beautiful and muscular and veiny for me. I'm thinking about transitioning from typing in all lowercase on Twitter to typing like Cam Newton on Twitter. Does he use the connected AE? I guarantee he does. He uses wingdings. Did we ever figure out what that was called? He's a big dipthong fan. If we like quarterbacks with beautiful bodies,

I mean, Mac Jones is way up there. More like Snack Jones. Yeah, oh, my God, dude, those arms. Remember you did an early column on Bubba Watson. He is a tiny-armed king. Yep. Interviewed Solly. Shouts to Solly. No laying up.

It was the bout of Bubba Watson. That was a good column. You can still find it. A lot of the embeddables are gone, but you can still find it on the internet. Did you get DMCA'd? No. Well, they actually scrubbed some of the Bubba bad clips from the internet. Like the one where he's yelling at his caddy.

That makes sense. I was at a wedding recently and they played that. It was at the Travelers. Not the Travelers. Can we do something special? Can we do this weekend and have fun? With J-Bone? Oh, yeah.

There it is. Don't turn it up? Oh, yeah. There it is. Thank you. Don't turn it up too loud, man. Gotta be careful. People can't hear Dylan. Gotta be careful. This Weekend in Fun this week is presented by Bison Coolers. If your Bison Cooler is not just absolutely stacked to the gills with drinks and water,

you just gotta mix in some water. Just make sure you're doing it. Yeah. It's a family-owned and operated business in Texas. We love a good family business here. You can call it a herd. Out of Fort Worth, right? Fort Worth.

Fort Worth. It's called the Fort. Cowtown. Cowtown. I like to call it. Remember, I didn't know it was called the Fort. I'd never heard the Fort, and you said it, and I was like, dude, it's not the Fort. And then people were like, yes, we call it the Fort.

Hell yeah. Advantage you. Congrats. Well, these are American-made hard and soft coolers. Oh, yeah. You always need a soft one once in a while. They're leak-proof. Stainless steel drinkware line as well.

We actually have some in here with our faces logoed on them. Not to stunt too hard. Not to stunt, J-Bone, but... My ice cubes, they stay solid for a very long time in this thing. My cubes. My cubes. All their products can be customized with logos just like ours are. They're great for employee gifts, customer appreciation, or special events.

Dude, J-Bone, you need one of these. They're leak-proof. Yeah, I'm always leaking. They not leaking. These are not. It's good to hear. If you want to deal on one of these things, use promo code WASH and receive a free Slim Can cooler on any purchase over $50.

That's perfect for a Vizzy, right? That is perfect for a, yeah. Mm-hmm. A hard sell to have your choice. People were hitting us on the Twitter. They're posting up doing the Bison and the Vizzy. One-two punch. Again, it's promo code WASH to receive a free slim can cooler

on any purchase over $50 and free shipping on all orders over $50. That's a great deal. And if you're spending under $50 at Bison, I don't want to be a part of your squad. Let me say, if you're not sure what size you need, if you go to their website, they've got the dude, their photos, he's just holding the different sizes

so you kind of get a... His arms are a little too big because he can lift the biggest one. It's very nice of them to do that because it always does make me wonder how big. What if they had me doing it? With my tiny arms? Just pull your shoulders out of socket. Yeah, how long would you be able to hold the 150 quart for?

It's empty. Keep in mind. That thing would be holding me. It's a hoss. It would just be this entire thing of you holding the coolers until it got to the 150 and you're just inside of it. That's actually really good marketing. That's a good way of promoting how large this thing actually is. Think of all the fish you can put in here

Hey I bought a fly rod the other day Do you want to go fly fishing with me sometime? I have a fly rod too It's arriving tomorrow I'm excited for it What brand? Orvis Ever heard of it?

Oh I've heard of it Your first rod's an Orvis rod? It's their starter rod Okay That's what they call Dave It's the rod building model I love that Rolling Stones song. Start a rod.

It's a starter rod, a nail stone. You make a grown man fly. That's good. That's good. You saved it. That's really good. That was really good. I had concerns about where this was going, but you killed it.

Will and I thought we were sending you down a bad path. You absolutely destroyed us. That song will crush with our listeners who are in their 20s. Yeah, they're going to be really excited about that. Glad Dave was on today to sing a really shitty Rolling Stones song. One of their worst, honestly. I wasn't going to see the Stones at CODA before COVID happened. That's two bags Mick Jagger's like 88.

I got to go to a Tigers playoff game once because my dad bought my sister tickets for the Rolling Stones in Missoula, Montana. And I found out that he bought those tickets for her. And I was like, well, there's a Tigers playoff game this weekend. He was like, all right, fine. I think it's the last thing he bought. Is that the one where you wore the Barry Sanders jersey? Or what were you wearing?

You wore a jersey somewhere. To the Cowboys game with you. No, but you did something else. Did you finish the ad read? Yeah. Nice. What are you doing this weekend, J-Bone? They're one of my favorites because they just give us a handful of bullet points.

Like, yeah, just go off. They let us do whatever we want. It's beautiful. Grow, man, fly. What are you doing this weekend, J-Bone? So me and my buddy, Randy, are actually going down to the South Pole on an expedition, during which Randy will inevitably betray me, and we'll have to go to Philadelphia and do a bunch of things involving American Revolution

era artifacts. It's going to be a whole big thing. That'd be cool. Hang with the penguins. Are they still in the playoffs? Where's Brett? Bop-bop-booey-bop-bop. Okay.

Yeah, I don't know if they're in the playoffs. I don't watch the playoffs and my Tampa Bay Lightning until the second round. It's a tradition. Wow, that's really big of you. We won last year.

I don't know if you remember that. I don't even know what you're referencing with the South Pole. This is so over my head. Oh, my God. Are you guys doing Gen Z shit? Your wife would be quite upset. What? Did they go to the South Pole. This is so over my head. Oh, my God. Are you guys doing Gen Z shit? Your wife would be quite upset.

What? Did they go to the South Pole in the beginning of National Treasure? Is it two? One. That's how the entire series opens up. I feel like that's a movie I jump into after the first scene every time because it's just on. And you're like, oh, National Treasure.

Yeah. It started 17 minutes ago. So you never hit the beginning? No. Just like Mike, I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence. That's my weekend. Well, the last time it was in this room, it was being signed. No, actually, though, I'm going to go out on a boat on Lake Austin.

Oh, it must be nice, dude. Hey, I live right next to the public boat launch if you want to come pick me up. I don't have any plans this weekend. Do you actually not? Can you bring my son? We got him one of those neck things that lets him float in a pool. Really? He can just chill

in the bison cooler. Actually, though, Will, do you actually... We're launching next to your house. Come say hi. Why would you do that? We can have a busy.

You can do that at home. Yeah, that's a public space. You can get in major trouble for that. I'm trying to launch. Yeah, that's a public space. You can get in major trouble for that. I'm trying to launch.

That's pretty much all the planes I have. Wow, that's big. Where are you going? To the cove? To party? What I've always wanted to do in Lake Austin, again, this is probably a sentence for like 50 people listening, is go and ride one of the funiculars up to one of the houses on the hill?

Do you know what a funicular is? Yeah. Have you been to Pittsburgh? It's the opposite of perpendicular. It's good. Funicular is like the gondola on the tracks that you see on Lake Austin to all the rich people's houses. They also have them. Were you looking at my pit stains?

No. Oh, okay. Dude, I've been on one. I'm a pit stain king, too. Don't even worry about it. I've been on one at Lake Whitney. This gets sweaty in here. And it made me very nervous.

And it made me also wonder how much did this cost to install because it seems very expensive. People on Lake Austin live on a hill and they have literally a railway going from their house to their pool house. Or what's it called? A dock house? Oh, God. I shouldn't say that. Boat house. That's what we call your apartment.

That's my weekend of fun Okay What the fuck are you doing Dave? Me and three college friends Are embarking on an 1800 mile road trip To retrieve an illicit tape Mistakenly mailed to a girlfriend Randy do you understand that reference? Is he the one that sent it?

Because he looks exactly like him. Yeah. What movie? I lost on this one. Our RA is going to join us, too, and he's kind of a wild card. Come on, dude. Road trip one time. I've never seen it.

It's road trip, right? Aren't you Breckenmire? It's my weekend and fun. Oh, sorry. Yeah. You do look like Breckenmire more than any other celebrity. Ooh. You do.

I get a lot of different celebrities. Oh, do you. I'm just an average looking white guy. I look like everyone else. What celebrity do you get? Ryan Gosling? That must be so hard on you. I get Sudeikis and Sudeikis only. Can I tell you who I've been getting ever since I cut my hair?

A lot of people said I look like Elon Musk. Yeah, dude. Everyone says that. You've never gotten that. I've gotten that, dude. What are you doing with your hair? Are you flirting with E-Boy? No. My hair's just puffy.

It just puffs up like this. Okay. You're looking quite handsome, Jared. No, I'm not saying it looks bad. I'm wondering, if you went with a four or a three guard on the side, you would be looking like one of my neighbor's kids. They're in high school, and they've got the cool haircut. Can we shave your head on this podcast? Can we give you a mullet

on this pod? I should get a mullet on the pod and then drink that Corona Mega. Odds you'll go get the Corona Mega right now and close this pod by drinking half of it. Corona Mega sounds like a... The odds that I'll go get it and I'll take one gulp,

one swig, are one in ten. No, what if you drink it down to where it stops being sloped? Okay, fine, yeah. To the label? That's very specific. One in ten. Well, that's what you have to do when you fill it up with, that's how you make a brass monkey. Do you think there's actually piss?

You drink it down to where the slope ends, and then you fill the rest with orange juice. Do you think it's piss? And you have a brass monkey. It's not piss. What are the odds it's piss? And then you're a brass monkey. It's not piss. What are the odds it's piss? There's only one way to find out if it's piss. I said 10%. I really believe there's a 10% chance.

Okay, one in 10. One in 10. Who's counting down? I'll count down. Who's doing the number? Dave. I don't really want to, because I don't want to end up getting it and having to do it. Well, you started it.

You're going to have to end it. Fuck. Randy, count down. So it's three, two, one, go. Yeah. All right. Three, two, one, five. Six.

There we go. No blood. I do think you guys need to bring that into the office as a prop. I kind of like just leave it in there to see how long until someone's like, okay, this is stupid. They definitely think it's us, by the way. Yeah. Just want to put that out. I don't know. If they saw my shirt with a skeleton riding a motorcycle, they'd be like, oh, this is stupid. They definitely think it's us, by the way. Yeah. Just want to put that out there.

I don't know. If they saw my shirt with a skeleton riding a motorcycle, they'd be like, oh, it's that guy. What does it say on the motorcycle? Make America great again. No, it's not. It says Robert Graham, who I believe is the designer. Shots of Bobby Graham.

$118 shirt. Guys guys i will be going back to the dallas fort worth area really oh did you accept your invitation i will be going to game three mavs clip uh at the american airline center friday night with uh none other than too much tips on kj wow oh yeah that's tight tight. Very cool. I'm jealous. I'm excited. I've never been to an NBA playoff game. My record in games I've been to, playoff games, is not good.

So if I'm looking for a dub, I would stay home. But I think they're going to be okay either way. But I did go, the last time I went to one, the Mavs won the title. It was a game three versus the Thunder. Mavs lost that game.

But I'm just saying. You're putting some juju on this i'm just saying yeah so we'll be home gonna do the pool maybe weather permitting we're in a tough weather pattern right now it's dry line season here but um yeah nothing major nothing major maybe i'll get around a golf and we'll see about it as a guest i want to do something i don't know has ever happened randy, what's your weekend in fun? Wow. So me and a colleague, we're heading down to the South Pole to achieve an Arctic fact. You literally did this. Did you call it an Arctic fact? Oh, I like that.

That's good. Yeah, that's definitely what I said, and it's great. I don't know, hanging out, drinking. I have a pledge brother coming into town that he just hit me with yeah dude probably spending money tad which i would much rather not do but looking for apartments doing the doing the damn thing and betraying jay bone and stealing national treasure where are you gonna look for apartments? South of the river. South of the lake. South of the river lake. You know, I heard Dave's got an extra bedroom.

I don't. No, we're going to convert it into storage. Can he live in your back house? Randy always lives in my back house. Hey, oh. I asked Dave if I could stay at his place in Austin Freezing. He said, no, suffer. No.

Wait, do you have that in writing? I said, no supper, meaning no dinner either. Well, thanks for asking, everybody. Hey, thank you, Will. I'm not doing anything this weekend. We do get Monday off. This is our time to tell everyone that we are not recording on Monday. It's Memorial Day.

Memorial Day. Wait, so you're not doing anything. Why don't you come on the boat with me? Let me come on the boat with you I actually have a lunch that I have to do on Saturday From 12 to 2, J-Bone Is it a lunch and learn? I don't know what that means

I could show up with Schlotzkis It's at my place, so I'd have to go to Schlotzkis and bring them back That's fine, though Small price to pay for future business opportunities It's easier than making me make the lunch A lunch and launch That's what you guys are doing for future business opportunities. It's easier than making me make the lunch. A lunch and launch. That's what you guys are doing.

Well, that's great. Thank you. Yeah, I have nothing planned. I'm just going to chill with my son. I am going to take him swimming, so look out for some content on that front. Maybe this will be Rhodes' first pool weekend. I don't know. We don't have whatever the neck thing you were talking about.

I don't have that. Is that real? The neck floaty? Is that how you do it? Yeah, you put the floaty around their head and they just float there. What do they look like? The chlorine thing in the pool? Yeah.

Yeah, they look exactly like that. Dude, as a kid, you'd be like, dude, don't touch that, dude. You'll get chlorine poisoning. Yeah, and they always also say don't sit on the pool drain. Yeah, that's a real one, right? Get prolapsed. That word ever been said in this pod before? I don't sit on the pool drain. Yeah, that's a real one, right? Get prolapsed. That word ever been said in this pod before? I don't know if it has.

I've never said it, certainly. Prolapsed? Somehow I don't think it has. I mean, someone will probably let us know. T-Boone Thickens on Twitter, he'll have this clip ready in an hour. Oh, yeah, you did say it six years ago. Yeah. I think it's time to get out of here, guys.

That was a lot of fun. We went 90 minutes for the first time in a long time. If you made it this long, thank you, and my hat's off to you. This is the longest Randy's had a mic in his entire career here. Putin created Bitcoin, if anyone's wondering. Yeah. That's what they say. Shots to D-Pen.

Putin. Any parting words, J-Bone? Oh, yeah, I should probably plug myself. Plug the pods. Nah, that's gross I'm gonna plug myself right now Exact opposite of pro-life Randy's over here What the fuck, Randy?

Randy's relished in that mic He's volume shooting right now We don't do that here Anyways, I am the co-host of the Ross Bolin Podcast You guys may be familiar Ross Bolin has been on the show before They finally let me back on the show It's great

Thank you guys for having me here The Ross Bolin Podcast podcast check us out i will put out an episode every monday every wednesday and then we have a bunch of stuff on patreon written columns uh an episode every friday we have a lot of fun there talk about a wide variety of things trains recently recently not a fan of trains we went in on trains not not big fans of trains uh also there's a little mental health focus so you know we keep it a little bit light, but we also keep it very funny and fun. So check us out, the Ross Bowen Podcast. Ross Bowen Pod on Twitter.

Sup, stog? And me on the group. That's not a podcast you do. Yeah. Thank you guys for having me. It's always a pleasure, J-Po. Are y'all doing the Westworld? Are they doing another season?

Oh, they're doing like five more seasons. God, why? They're doing the mayor doing another season? Oh, they're doing like five more seasons. God, why? They're doing the mayor of Westtown. No, they're not. I'm going to be like Dave. That would be the worst hybrid show. Dave with Walking Dead, where it's going to be me in season eight of Westworld being like, Welcome back to Freezal Motor Functions.

Where's Rick Grimes? It's coming back. I only watched this last season because Aaron Paul. And because you wanted to listen to Frees on Motor Functions, the number one Westworld podcast. Yeah, I support that. Great podcast. If you like Westworld or you're like,

I need a show to watch right now, you can go watch Westworld from the beginning. We have a spoiler-free podcast for every single episode. Westworld. Excellent. How about you doing Boy Meets World? Because it's Westworld. Can we leave?

We can leave, yeah. I'm fine with that. Bye.