Circling Back - What's The Best Way To Eat The Mona Lisa?

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Yet another Podcast Week comes to an end. A golf course fight broke out during a Korn Ferry qualifier, Brooks Koepka's US Open fits, Jeff Bezos is being pressured to eat the Mona Lisa, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (24:42) Korn Ferry Qualifier Fight (47:45) Bezos Going To Eat The Mona Lisa? (1:02:18) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback5 ($5 off a Mouthwash Starter Kit) Truff: www.truff.com (STEAM for 15% off) Vizzy: www.vizzhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C. And Superfruit Acerola, my name's Will DeFries to my right. He's back in the saddle again. David, rough. So internet party's rolling with the This Week in Horny segment. That's what they're doing.

It's pretty good. I'll have to check that out. Check them out. Internet party. They're also talking about Batman on this week's episode, if you saw the description. Oh, okay. Very specific segment yes i don't know how they got to that segment but i i bet i know who's who steered it in that direction yeah i think it might be john duda hey for the record dylan just time out i just want to announce this to be clear i am not going to be arm wrestling anyone in 2021 we talked about this before the pod

so our next meetup instead of actually having a meetup we're having the tiny arm arm wrestling anyone in 2021. We talked about this before the pod. So our next meetup, instead of actually having a meetup, we're having the tiny arm arm wrestling tournament. And the different brackets, like, if you're in the heavyweight bracket, that just means your arms are really, really tiny, and that's the main event. So if you show up with absolute straws

coming off your torso, you're the main event. You could be the heavyweight champion of the tiny arm world. I'm never arm wrestling again as long as I live. You're on the undercard right now. Unless it's with, like, Parks right now. You're on the undercard with what you're working with right now. I'm not trying to snap my shit in half.

I've seen it happen, man, too many times. So you'd rather just snap your son's arm in half? Nah, this is a play. You know, play shit. He's 40 pounds. Didn't they used to call you Arm and Hammer back in the day? Yeah. They did. Mr. Arm and Hammer himself. Dylan Shivery.

Didn't you, like, didn't that guy drink blood or whatever? Oh, Army Hammer? Right. Yeah. Dude, what happened to him? He drank too much blood. He got low-key canceled. Because of a little blood. He's a kinky canceled. Because of a little blood. He's a kinky bastard.

Had a little blood on the tires. Wasn't he on a show? Wasn't he on some kind of show? He was probably on a few shows. He's a movie star. He's a movie star. I think he was in a movie starring J-Lo or something like that. They were taping in the Caribbean. He got removed from that pretty quick.

They pulled him off set? That would be not chill to be in the Caribbean and get pulled off of a movie set. Get your weird ass out of here. I don't know if I'd want to be like, if those allegations are floating around, like say, I don't know, say that those allegations were against me. That you drank blood. That I drink blood and that like I'm really into like, there's that kind of shit. I wouldn't want to be in the studio with y'all with those rumors floating around because

like it'd just be awkward not confronting them at all times. How would the interns look at me with respect? I'd be worried about my blood. Yeah. Dude, Will's just looking at me like all he wants to do is put his teeth into my neck. Anytime I'm typing, you guys would be like, what's he doing? It doesn't get much worse than that, really. I mean, if it came out that one of us just tried to suck on blood.

Well, no, it gets worse. Those are just allegations. I didn't say much worse. Those are just allegations. What would be worse if there was video evidence of this actually happening? Is it consensual blood sucking? But didn't a lot of his victims come out and be like, Yeah, this motherfucker straight up wants to suck my blood.

I believe he was very, very forward in messages dms and things of that nature i don't know if there was he ever followed through on this stuff but i could be wrong it doesn't sound like he followed through yeah maybe that's just his kink is dming he's putting out about it putting out vamp uh vibes he's all bark no bite oh get it because you bite to get through the blood. Will, that's how vampires do it, you dumbass. This dude's on fire. Watch the movie one time.

Will, just pass him the rock. God, just let me hit it, dude. Let him fucking take the shot. This guy goes viral on TikTok one time. Parentheses one, one time. I'm just straight popping off right now. How does it feel? How does it feel to have a segment just go absolutely off?

I mean, it's not exactly my first time going viral you know what i mean like i've done it it's not a big deal have you oh yeah oh yeah but it's awesome i did it was editorial editorially sure but uh yeah editorial out there it's like my face is out there all these kids are watching it's like whatever a lot of people are saying that like the Will and I made that segment when we just started one-offs. You know how Dave is the horny police guy? Yeah.

Because that gif has been viewed, I don't know, like a billion times. I'm the fake pre-workout guy. Oh, this is fine. Or the real pre-workout guy. Dude, Lil Pre. Lil Pre over here. Lil Pre. We have to upgrade him to Big Pre.

Viral Pre. More like. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if viral pre. Yeah, I don't know, man. That could skew disease. Yeah, good point. Because of virus is what he's saying.

Correct. Yeah. God. He's got his flirty polo on today. I love that. Do you have a bachelor party after this? God. Look at you.

Yeah, I do, actually. Really? Yeah. They had to do it on Wednesday for some reason. That's fine. We're going to go play nine, then we're going to go to Woodrow's and shut it down. You can go sweat out about five gallons of water. It's hot out there is what I'm trying to say, folks. You hear about this Texas heat?

You hear about it? Dude, it's hot in my apartment. I've been keeping it at 82 to make Urquhart happy. Yeah. You know my apartment's hot. I keep it 100. Wow. I don't know if keeping it 100 degrees.

Yeah, you have a newborn child at home. What's your energy bill like? Very high. That's my favorite part about the Urquhart stuff. They're just assuming that everyone can do this. You can't keep your thermostat at 82 if you have a newborn child at home. That's just not safe. Yeah, this Mr. Urquhart or whoever it is, like, this guy clearly doesn't have a newborn at home.

They're going to have to break into my home, whip my ass, tie me down, and hit my thermostat up to 78. And I'll do that for him. I'll do that either way. Try it, bitch. I will. This is like having the CEO of a company, like, take, like, a three-month vacation and then come back and get mad that like no one's doing anything yeah it's like dude no i'm i'm not turning my fucking thermostat up to 82 when i'm sleeping i worked that same what you just i'm sure a lot of people have stories like this but that happened at a place i interned and i mean like legit like was gone like on a two-month

honeymoon came back and like there was a couple things a couple people were slacking or something and just was like shocked like dude you've been gone yeah you run this shit you can't be gone for two months man like that's cool that you travel the world on your honeymoon very cool but this is a delegation thing this is on you sir or ma'am i'm not gonna say the head of a media department just like not coming in to work for a long time. Okay, I wasn't referring to that. I was just using another generic example. What are you talking about?

Just a super generic example. No bases. Right. It was baseless. Touching baseless. Wow. Look at us. We could probably go back to that name if y'all wanted to by now.

I don't. I think it's safe. I like circ go back to that name if y'all wanted to by now. I don't. I think it's safe. I like circling back more. They're both pretty strong. Our logo now is just way doper. Oh, it's heat. Yeah, it's torch. What's the touching base logo?

Oh, I was wearing like a Brooks Brothers button down. You and I were facial hairless. I was too. And Will had glasses. Were you? No. Well, squad wasn't clean-shaven, were we? I was clean-shaven for a majority of that pod, yes.

Well, then there was also the one that was just Vladimir Putin, an Indian chief in a sock. Oh, I love that one. Randy made that one, if I'm not mistaken, before we knew who Randy was. Yeah. Actually, I. Oh, I love that one. Randy made that one, if I'm not mistaken, before we knew who Randy was. Yeah. Actually, I'm sorry. I hated that one. That was terrible.

I think we did. We ended up editing a beard on me later. You're right. Yep. Yep. Because I'm a beard boy now. And you had like a pocket or something removed or maybe Dave did on his shirt.

I had a pocket on my shirt. We did some bad boy shit with that logo. We were bad we're the bad boys of podcasting we were we were straight up wild boys can't believe we coined that phrase i know we can't say wild boys that's trademarked by mtv oh whatever yeah dude what are we even doing Like, why are we here? Wild guys. I don't know. Should we just end it and start the weekend? Dude, check out that video on TikTok, though. Maybe, like, share or something.

I don't know. It's whatever. You know, it's already Vi. It's not like it's going to help that much, but still, it'll help. What's Vi on TikTok? Because I don't know. I think apparently it's easy to go viral on TikTok. The numbers seem heavily inflated on the talk, and I'm not trying to downplay our virality

or virulence. What's your problem? But I'm just saying like something that does a million loops. Is it loops? That's Vine. Dude, you sound so old right now. I'm fine because I am. Loops. Loops. Not as old as some, but I am. Hey, how many loops did your video get?

Isn't Vine the loops? Yes. Dude, bring back Vine. I mean, TikTok's essentially just Vine with higher quality videos. Yeah. Vine was sick. Yeah. And then TikTok was like, wait, we can just, okay, they're getting rid of it, let's just make ours.

Yeah. But Vine, it was six seconds, right? Six seconds and you're out. Correct? You'd know. Yep. Is that a pre-joke? Yep. Well, pre. Premature. Six seconds, that's bite-sized content. I don't know if Yep. Is that a pre-joke? Yep. Well, pre. Premature.

Six seconds, that's bite-sized content. I don't know if we can handle that at this point. I appreciated the six seconds, in and out. If it sucks, you know, you wasted six seconds of your life. Not a big deal. We're still talking about Vine, right? I think. If it sucks.

You know what I'm saying? You're saying it's a low's a low um little commitment look yeah so yeah whatever it's like it's like committing to it's like going to the golf course and playing two holes you either got it or you don't yeah you know i'm gonna pack it in guys y'all have fun should we start doing that paying full prices playing two and leaving probably not a good idea i think golf should be 14 holes. You know, that's a... Grow the game. A prevailing thought for some people.

I don't know if it's prevailing. It is. That's not. You would know about the prevailing. You don't have to make a pre-joke about everything. Yes, I do. The fact that I didn't make a joke about you liking the six seconds when we were talking about two holes is just insane.

I could have gone there, but I didn't go there because I respect you. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. When's the last time you were in the middle of a round of golf and just stormed off the course? Just like, you know what, this isn't fun. I'm going home. I was with you.

We were playing at Kaiser, and I think we were – I forget who we were playing with, but I know I was with you at the very least. I think Klein was there as well. And I think I shot near 60 on the front nine, and I was just – i was pouring sweat i think i was really hung over and just not feeling it and i was at the turn i was like yeah i'm going home like i i don't want to be here anymore it was one of those rounds were right before the round i almost just canceled because i think i think i just would have been out really late the night before some of the most fun days with uh da boys would have been like we're a little bit

hung over on like a sunday or saturday we try to go play it's hot you're playing like shit and the other guys are playing like shit and you kind of just look at each other like yeah you want to just go to the bar you want to just go like the hooters or something those are the days man it's like dude yeah let's do it so you just bail you lose them you know it's not worth the money you paid but still i will bail in any hole after like six if you just bail. You lose some, you know, it's not worth the money you paid, but still. I will bail in any hole after like six if you want to go hit a bar and call it a day. I'm ready. I'm playing like shit anyway.

I'm hot. I'm sweaty. I know this is very unlikely, but what if you have like a really good round going? Oh, I'll still. I'll still. I'm going to blow up at some point. Like you did at Torrey? I blew up early. Then I recovered.

So it was a little bit different. So it was a pre-blow up. But it took the pressure off because I blew up early. He's like, eh, whatever. different So it was a pre-ball We took the pressure off Because I blew up early He's like, eh, whatever, fuck it I'm just gonna I'm free swinging the rest of this You know

Free swinging That's not how that song goes I was free Free balling We used to say that He's a good guy That's not that good Like, you didn't wear underwear that day

You've seen that song Free balling I don't know why we didn't wear underwear, yeah why weren't you wearing underwear i don't know laundry day i can't remember the last time i free balled um i do it quite frequently coming home from the gym post sauna shower that that's different though because i don't want to like waste a pair that's understandable not really waste but you know what i mean i like to do one pair a day wow just one so i'm gonna but you, so you would be putting clean ones on. Yeah.

What I'm saying is I'm wearing, so I don't like having to go through the undergarments I wear in the morning, working out in those, showering, sawing, all that, and putting on a fresh pair because that's double the laundry, double the undergarments. So when do you finally reload and hit them with some freshers? I don't. When I get home, I'm straight up just commando.

That's weird. That's a weird strategy. Well, if I'm relaxing around the house and I don't sleep in boxer briefs, I've made that clear. I've got to have support, dog. What do you sleep in? Let's see. I wear some basketball shorts.

What do you sleep in? Dude, last night I slept in – You sleep naked. No, I don't. Brett does. I slept in chubbies last night. Wow. Really?

Yeah. Mainly because I haven't completely unpacked. Like chubbies, like gym shorts, right? Yeah. Okay, so not just like a pair of like khaki chubbies. Pineapples on them. They're the gray ones that I wear to the gym often. They're a little short.

Probably a little dangerous for me to be rocking. Interesting. I sleep in boxer briefs, man. I'm a boxer brief sleeper every night. Nah, I'm not. Straight boxers for your boy. Oh, no, I got to have support. I'll put those on when I get home because I don't care.

You need support while you're sleeping? I can't be flopping around, dog. Please. I like to move when I sleep. Catch me in boxers. I got one pair of boxers I wear. I'm a squirm, dog. You like to move when I sleep. Catch me in boxers. I got one pair of boxers I wear. I'm squirming, dog. You like to move when you sleep.

I'm a squirm boy. I reshift. I shift every, you know. Little squirm over here. Little squirm, they call me. Pre-squirm. You guys want some pro? Why do you make it so easy for us and everyone?

You really make it easy. And then like two months from now, guys, that's one thing. I'm kind of tired of y'all calling me little pre or little squirm. Like this is not cool. Yeah, I'm sick of it. I'm still getting DMs about hot dog stuff with you. I recently told someone like, hey, hot dog thing's over. I'm so sick of it.

Dude, people are saying they're going to make a late summer comeback. If El Glisadente wins the 2022 Bit Madness bracket, Dylan's going to quit. There's no way that's happening. I don't know. I don't know what's up to you. Now that you said it, yeah. There's no way that's happening. I don't know. I don't know what's up to you. Now that you said it, yeah. There's no way that's happening. There's two people in this room that could absolutely make that happen.

Not if the backers leave it off the bracket. True. What's up to y'all? If you support Dylan, you'll leave it off the bracket next year. Let's get some programming notes out of the way. First and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod and watch media on everything. Maybe even TikTok because we're just doing numbies right now. Because Dylan just did this fire ass segment the other day.

Yeah, you're welcome. I left off a couple ones. You guys want to read a couple reviews? Because we've gotten some more reviews lately. I'm very happy about this. We have 7-Eleven Enthusiasts. He said, torch, five stars. Love to link with the Circling Back boys as I build Excel sheets all summer.

Hashtag sheesh. Sheesh. There's also one from gmoney3030. My girlfriend hates us. Oh, come on. Went on a road trip with my girlfriend a while back and played this podcast. Five minutes in, she says, do you not have a personality of your own? And then proceeds to end it with, at least you didn't come up

with these stupid bits yourself. Safe to say she thinks all four of us are morons. She's probably not wrong. Yeah. She's probably an idiot. Yeah. You know what? That's okay. This one might be from Dan, Delco guy. Says the best. The podcast everyone asked for, asked following the demise of the podcast absolutely no one asked for i don't really know what that means but no someone do a touching base right we also have one

from dave roth but roth is spelled r-o-u-g-h that's crazy the coincidence there is not me maybe this is david r the guy who leaves reviews in austin could be bar reviews could be think about it he said his subject line on this i I don't know what he's talking about. He said, Will towed my car, and then it has five stars, and it said if you went to high school and undergrad between 2000 and 2010, this is the pot for you. That's a wide range. That's a lot of folks.

Yeah. He ain't wrong. What if he went back in the mid-'90s? I wish we could get everybody in that time frame, that demographic. That'd be sick for numbers. That's millions of people. Sure. Then we also have some other dude that said gangster voices, and then he gave us five stars, but said stop saying go to darn Jesus.

Yeah, what's your problem? Oh, come on. Thanks for reminding me. I kind of forgot about that word. I'm going to— That review's woated. Yeah, what a woated jerk. That sucks worse than goated.

We have a major announcement alert Major announcement Thank you Thank you Major announcement alert What is it, bitch? Cool Adams here Happy Hour Live returns tomorrow Are you shitting me?

Happy Hour Live Go over to youtube.com slash washmedia As Randy would say Like and subscribe We're doing Happy Hour Live tomorrow Not sure what's in the hopper But it's going to be a fun one

It's been a while since we've done one. Figured it was time. Are you shitting me? Oh, yeah. I got three Vizzies already chilling. They're on ice in a champagne bucket at my place. Just chilling. I might have to replace them with an ice lighter.

You may have done it too early. Why don't you just put them in a fridge? Because, dude, champagne buckets are swag. Yeah, it's luxurious. It's bad boy shit. You don't have a champagne bucket that you keep your Vizzy in? What a dumbass. I'll use it for something else.

Champagne? Champagne. Champagne. Patreon. Yesterday we did Bachelor at Recap. We're doing them every Tuesday throughout the entirety of the season. We had Dave's little whiskey girl, my wife, replace Dave for yesterday's episode. His wife.

As Dave was moving. It was moving day. I made my move. We kind of like Loki brought the heat yesterday. No offense His wife. As Dave was moving. It was moving day. I made my move. We kind of like Loki brought the heat yesterday. No offense, Dave. Yeah, Loki slapped me. I didn't see a lot of chatter about it. Sally brought segments to the table that you just don't bring to the table.

Yeah, dude. Did you know that Sally has her Robot of the Week? Real or fake bachelorette jobs? We are really just going. We are the real or fake pod. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Robot of the Week. Do I need to okay can i ask a question

do i need to watch the bachelor from monday uh like what what if i just read the vulture recap no no you should watch it dave you should watch a lot of people were saying it wasn't that great it was yeah but people are haters yeah yeah but you host a podcast about it yeah yeah oh i'm sure i'm sure you actually have to watch it because there's so much going on with some of the drama. Is there really? Yeah, you're not going to be able to catch up. There is drama, though? Yeah.

You're going to hate Carl. I follow the Carl stuff. You're going to hate Carl. He is the motivational speaker. We are not rocking with Carl. Well, he's not rocking with us. Exactly. Carl bought Instagram followers.

I've been following, so that's how I kind of- He's very punchable. I've been following it through the Twitter. I'm like, okay. And I saw Courtney with a Q. Right. It was kind of been following it through the Twitter. I'm like, okay. And I saw Courtney with a Q. It was kind of a player. He didn't do much in that episode, but he got my promoted tag of the week because I want more of him.

Oh, really? But I could not find someone less compatible with Katie than Courtney right now. Who was the dude who had the fun meme clip where Carl's up there saying something and he asks a hypothetical and the guy just goes, no. That was a great clip. Now, I might watch it just for that interaction because it looked really funny. That was one of the more hard to watch tasks that I've ever seen the contestants have to do based on how he handled it. High cringe factor?

Yes. Okay, then I'll watch. Carl is peak cringe. So Carl is not a super awesome bootstraps, tough upbringing, motivational speaker. He is a sociopath. LinkedIn douche. Yes. Okay. I feel

better now. He's completely socially unaware. Yeah. Oh. He also doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. Yeah. Like you probably get along with him. Yeah. You guys are probably friends. Yeah. That's a personal attack. We also got voicemails recording tomorrow, dropping tomorrow. Not Friday, because we're bad boys.

You can't put rules on us. No one's doing that. Oh, you want Friday voicemails on Friday? Too bad. We're the bad boys of podcasting. Yeah, guess what, idiot? Listen to it a day early. Sorry, you can listen to it on Friday.

Like, that's fine. Listen to it twice. We recommend just Thursday, really. Is there any benefit for people? Like, if our Patreon listens, people are listening to it on Friday. Like, that's fine. Listen to it twice. We recommend just Thursday, really. Is there any benefit from people, like, if our Patreon listens, people are listening to it three times.

No. That wouldn't benefit us, really. Not at all. No, man. Patreon wouldn't be like, dude, we noticed your numbers are pretty dope.

Get your numbers up. Yeah, people are running it back. That's tight. No one's doing that. It's not doing anything for us, though. No one's doing that. We're a top 50 Patreon, and we were.

Hey. Hey. Yeah. Do you know what we all love? That clean, minty, fresh feeling you get from mouthwash, baby. Yeah, well. You know why they call it mouthwash? It washes your mouth. It does.

Those plastic mouthwash bottles, people don't love those. They're big, they're bulky, and they're not so nice to look at. That's probably why a lot of us end up stashing them under the sink, and it's pretty hard to kill germs and prevent cavities when they're down there. But luckily, the oral care experts over at Quip create an alcohol-free mouthwash that keeps your mouth healthy without the burn, baby. And thanks to their sleek refillable dispenser, it's pretty easy on the eyes as well, my friend. Have you all seen this thing? Well, yes.

It's literally sitting on my counter. It looks like it's from the future. It does look like it's from the future. It's so sexy. When I took it out of the box, I was like, what do I even do with this thing? Well, yes. It's literally sitting on my counter. It looks like it's from the future. It does look like it's from the future. It's so sexy. When I took it out of the box, I was like, what do I even do with this thing? This is wild. Do I display this on my mantle or do I put it on my kitchen sink? It's actually the centerpiece

of my new house. Really? Mouthwash. That's how much you care? I respect how much you care about oral care. Do you not care about oral care? Yeah, but that's a good idea. How's your oral game? How's your mouth? Look at me. I have a clean mouth. What's that mouth do? I have a clean ass mouth, dude. Oral game's stupid

on this dude. Right. Y'all already know Quip. They're the makers of the electronic toothbrush and the floss that you hear all about all the time. Well, now they've launched a new mouthwash to help you complete your clean. Plus, it comes with a refillable dispenser that's delightful to use and sleek enough to fit on any bathroom counter.

Dylan, can you explain to the people how this thing actually works? I would love to, Will. Thank you. Yep. So as it's sitting there on your counter, there's a little plastic cup that sits atop it. You pull that bad boy off, and there's a little pump underneath. You pump it. A little pump.

I hit it with two pumps. Some people might do three. I don't know. You're bad. Everything's checking out. I hit it with two pumps. Some people might do three. I don't know. You're bad. Everything's checking out. I hit it with two pumps. Come on. We're talking about mouthwash, David. Do the read.

I hit it with two pumps, and then it fills a little reservoir with mouthwash, but it's concentrated mouthwash. So you pour that into the cup, right? Then you add a little bit of water. There's a little measuring line in the cups that show you the levels. All right? There are levels to this shit. You fill it up with water, and then you get a little swirl. Pop it.

Boom. Boom. Pop it in your mouth. Are you a swish boy or a gargler? I'm a swish boy, Dave. I am too. Everybody knows that about me. You don't gargle?

Sometimes I hit it with a little garg. Yeah, and then it's just mouthwash. Cut this clip and send it to grip. You rinse it out, and you put's just mouthwash. Cut this clip and send it to Quip. You rinse it out, and you put the little cup back. The thing is sleek. It's from the future. Yes. They're right.

I hate having the giant bottle that is always under my sink, and then you forget about, and then when you pull it out, you're like, is this expired? This is just having it right there. It blends in well. Your breath before getting this Quip mouthwash was noticeably terrible. Yeah, man. It was tough.

They've got five colors, two high-end finishes, and you're guaranteed to find a dispenser that matches your style. Think about that. You're trying to get a vibe off in your bathroom? Guess what? You have several different options from Quip. It's also good for your mouth and the planet. With four times concentrated formula,

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90-dose supply of Quip's four-times concentrated formula at getquip.com slash circlingback5. That's G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash circlingback5. Quip, the good habits company. Anytime a product is concentrate or concentrated, I always think back to our time with one of our coworkers, Harrison, who got the chameleon cold brew coffee concentrate and was just straight up drinking it. Yeah, he downed like 1,200.

He forgot to cut it, and he was just pounding it. And then he's like, oh, we're like, dude, what? And it wasn't like a 12-ounce bottle. It's like a big 24-ounce. And he was just taking that gas. I actually sat next to him when he was drinking it. I looked over, and he was just levitating over his desk chair. Like, dude, I mean, I get it.

We like cold brew, too. What are you doing, dog? Yeah. You got to put a little water in there. It's like 12 servings of cold brew. It was like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible typing on the laptop, and his legs were just in the air behind him.

He would just stay. He would do that, then he would do, like, some, like, post on TFM that was, like, like, 10 pages long with just photos of hot chicks that would get, like, 10 million page views. Yeah.

Stack and Pape. I mean, he was the page view king there he was oh yeah he wouldn't eat lunch man like he he worked through invited him to lunch and he was just like nah i'm gonna stay here and just and just put up post babes lunches for fucking and get pages well i'm just gonna get pages right now lunch for the week dog don't don't say that he ever he didn didn't say Pagies. You're right. That's a word I just came up with.

I don't love it, but it's not terrible. I'm going to get some PVs. I'm going to get some PVs. It's just not great, dude. I get it, man. I'm sorry. People were saying that Harrison got more page views than you. That could be facts, honestly.

All your viral stuff was like stuff that you didn't even really do you're right didn't you just my most viral piece it was like one of my most poorly written things i've ever done at grand x the mexico cocaine hooker one it was like two paragraphs in a photo it was shared on facebook like uh three million times is that I think. How does that work with Facebook Instant Articles? It's hard to say. Dude, of all things, I do not miss. I think... Hey, man, it's not loading in Instant Articles right now.

Hey, go back and check the code. Sometimes you have to get the HTML and convert it over to JavaScript and then do a little C-sharp on there. I'm a writer. I can't do this shit. Pretty sure that was a Facebook Instant Article one, that was that was a writer like i can't do this shit pretty sure that was a facebook instant article one and i believe that single post like netted us like upwards of 35k something like that pretty wild wow dude so we could buy like i'm doing i saw like a nissan ultima with that thing

i saw zero cents of that by the way so well that doesn't make any sense hey can we talk about the golf course fight? Yeah, what happened? Did y'all hear about that? I didn't know y'all heard about that. Oh, different fight. Anytime there's a fight on the golf course, I think there's reason to talk about it. And especially when it's a U.S. Open qualifier. Corn Ferry qualifier.

Corn Ferry qualifier. Corn Ferry Qualifier. At the Wichita Open. Yeah, this is low-level shit. Not the US Open, but the Wichita. It makes it way better that it's just so low-level. There's so much less at stake right now. Well, so these are like, this is guys who, they've got the talent, but the mental game's not there enough to where they can go out

and do it four days in a row. To even be on the Corn Ferry Tour. These dudes are grinding and uh apparently there's a fist fight dude got arrested there's so there's no video yeah because no one has cameras out at the uh corn ferry qualifier who would have thought you think somebody's like mom or girlfriend would be like you know following them being like oh Oh, come on, honey. World star in the background. World star.

So, Dave, can you— Hit him, Terry. I feel like you're the most well-versed in this fight. Can you explain what actually happened? Yeah, let me— MondayQInfo is a fun Twitter account. You follow a lot of QInfo accounts, right? Yeah.

IMQ. Big Q guy. I forgot to tell y'all. New segment alert. Do they need to rebrand the qualifying stuff and not call it Q? The letter Q has just been completely ruined at this point. Poor Q.

Q is like a sneaky underrated letter, too. Usually Q can't exist without the U, and so it's kind of a loner letter. It always needs a crotch. Do you think Courtney with the Q from Bachelorette ever thought about maybe just kind of changing that spelling? It's a 10-pointer in Scrabble.

Big time respect in Scrabble. It's the only place, man. Stop looking at me like that, dude. I would run your ass in Scrabble, dude. I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm good at Scrabble. You think I'm not good at Scrabble? No, I think you're probably good. Yeah, that's right. I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm good at Scrabble. You think I'm not good at Scrabble? No, I think you're probably good. Yeah, that's right.

I don't think so, dog. I think so. Let's run a game. Okay. Will and Dylan play Scrabble. They'll go viral on TikTok. Can we post like four-hour TikToks? Hard to say. Dave, what happened in this fucking fight? Bring back Vine. Okay.

So, per the tweet from Monday monday q info full story from a source player a who had been slow all day hits it left into trouble player b and player b's dad his caddy uh didn't help him look for it bad etiquette right you got to give him the courtesy like you don't walk too far into the native grass because i ah snakes and shit can't be doing that what i do is give a look see what i do is if one of my friends, my playing partners, hits it off into the woods, I just kind of walk the edge for about 10 seconds to give the appearance I'm helping, but I don't really give a shit if you find your ball or not. I just edge it a little bit.

And I'm like, you know what? Just go ahead and drop. That's the move. You go and stomp around a little bit. You might go up to a tree, do some looking around, and then after you put in your 20 seconds of looking, it's just like, all right, I'm going to go hit my shot. And a lot of it's lie dependent.

If it's like tall stuff, and we've had a lot of rain here in central Texas, grass is very high. We needed it. Not only that, but like, dude, this is bad snake time. I don't want to. Hey, I got your ball right here. Play it as it lies. I found your ball. Play it as it lies. Why don't you come hit it? Why don't you to Hey I got your ball right here Play it as it lasts I found your ball

Play it as it lasts Why don't you come hit it Why don't you come hit it I'm sorry This is why the girlfriend Thinks that we're all idiots Yeah she's right Actually I take back

Everything I said about her She's probably like She's probably in STEM And she's right We are idiots At the green Player A says You could have helped me

Look for the ball Player B's dad, you could have helped me look for the ball. Player B's dad says, you could hit it straight. And from there, it was on. What's cool Adam doing back there? He's just writing on the wall. Writing on the wall. He got up from his desk to write in his notebook on the wall. Who writes vertically like that?

No one's doing that. You don't see that. No one's doing that. He has a desk that he can write at. What does he do? Nah, I'm going to go write on the wall. Dude, Randy. That's a bad boy. Dude, shit. He doesn't have a manager. He has a desk that he can write at But he's like nah I'm going to go around on the wall And write next to the Moosehead sign He doesn't have a manager

He can no longer be managed So how did the fight escalate Didn't someone get put in a headlock So Daly lost his tee shot to the left of the green Group's third member Derek Fribs came over to help him look But Smith a collegiate player at the University of Tennessee Martin who had his father Oliver caddying for him, declined to help.

Fribs holed out and headed to the eighth tee box to help get the group back on track. As Daly and the Smiths rushed over to catch up, Daly mentioned that things might move faster if the Smiths had helped him look. Boom went the dynamite. Pergolf Digest, sick reference, love it. Oliver Smith allegedly popped like a shook-up Dr. Pepper, shouting at Daly about how his poor play was dragging the group down and that his son wasn't here to look for balls.

As Daly turned away from the confrontation to walk to the tee, Luke Smith reportedly jumped Daly from behind, and the haymakers flowed like fine wine. Whoever wrote this write-up took so many liberties here. Whoever wrote this was trying way too hard. I've got the frattest name in the world, Coleman Bentley. Listen to listen to this fribs ran back to this is the third guy in the group to break up the fight but was reportedly held off by oliver the dad waving a putter in his face the international symbol for this ain't your fight kiddo you know what i bentley mr bentley's right that is the

international sign for such a thing uh yeah so then they got back to the clubhouse and the dude was arrested. Wow. Seems like it didn't have to get to this point. Seems like, you know, rarely do you see golf beefs turn violent like this. Most notably, we have the Bryson, we have the tool versus douche beef going right

now. The hottest thing. That's never going to come to blows. They're not going to fight. They're not going to do rough and rowdy gentlemen. That's just not going to happen. Have you ever gotten close to throwing blows on a golf course? Yes. Have you told the story on here? You may have.

Was it with me? No. You were going to fight me when I was standing behind you. I wasn't going to fight you. Dude, Dave was going to fight me, like, low key. That was so funny. He was doing the Arthur meme with the fist. Yeah, he was ready. I could see him. He took out his ball repair thing, and he had it between his middle finger

and his ring finger. He was just going to fucking stab me. Were you casting a shadow on him? Oh, Wolverine-looking ass over here. No, but Will was squatting down right behind me. I was not squatting. You were down. I was not squatting. Pull the tape. I was not squatting. You were down. I was not squatting. No. Pull the tape. I was not squatting. Nobody was recording you. I wasn't going full Camille Vigegas behind you. Yeah, it wasn't push-up position.

What happened to that guy? Like holding a yoga pose. Does he suck now? I don't know. He's hit a downturn. Dave would be Smiley Kaufman right now. He needs to retire. No, I'm still rooting for Smiley again.

I'm still rooting for him, but dude, it's gotten to the point where it's a little sad. Is he selling insurance by this point? No. He was in a tournament the other day, and Dylan, it was ugly. Really? Yes. I think he was 16 over on the round. This is recent?

Yes. On the round or on the tournament? I think the round. In the tournament, he was like 21 over or something. Those are Dylan vibes out there. I don't know. You're way worse, actually. Yeah, you might be worse than Smiley.

Okay. The reason I said Dave would be Smiley right now, not you. That's fair. I'm pretty sure Smiley takes me handily. Dude, he was top five at the Masters, wasn't he? Makes me Smiley. What? He was in the final group.

Oh, he had a bad Sunday, didn't he? Yeah. Sunday. Bloody Sunday. And then the next year, wasn't he at the Natty Shack with you? Yeah. Yeah, the Masters... Yeah, well, Natty Light invited him out there. I think I didn't expect him to play. He was a sponsor.

I expected him to play in the tournament. They were sponsored, yeah. But he, uh... He didn't get to play. We're all pulling for him. Who got arrested here? The dad? No, no, no. The player.

The dad was a part of it, but he wasn't. I don't think he jumped in. I think he was just holding off the other dude. If you're the dad, this guy's clearly like over-the-top sports dad, right? If you're following during the qualifier and where is it? Wichita or some shit? Yeah, for the Wichita Open. That's fine to caddy for your son,

your college-age son who's trying to get on the Corn Fairy Tour, but at the same time, you don't start chirping the other guy who's slow in the group. No. You don't. What club, if you're trying to defend

your honor on the golf course and you need to use a club in order to do that, what club are you pulling out? I don't know if I'm going putter. I'm going pitching wedge. I think I'm taking out my PM grind 60 degree. Yeah, a wedge.

Open the face a little bit. It's got the big, heavy club head on it, you know? You swing that bad boy. You can't take out your drive. You know what, dude? No. Actually, I'm pulling pipe. Nah.

I'm pulling pipe. Not. I'm pulling pipe. Not much weight in that head, you know? Maybe with your club head speed. That has nothing to do with the weight. I'm talking weight here, dog. I'm talking force. I'm talking speed plus power plus pipe. I got plenty.

That's my formula. I got plenty. I got plenty of all the above. No, you don't. Uh-huh. What is it? Y equals MX plus B. Oh, he of all the above. No, you don't. What is it? Y equals MX plus B. Oh, he's doing the pi.

He's doing the Pythagorean theorem. Y minus B equals MX. Would you shut up? MXPX. Shitty band. They've got some good chick magnets they fund. Cut the nerd shit, man. Let's make him watch the chick magnet video. I'm going to find the most cringy video I can find and make Dylan watch it.

Why? You can't make me do anything. Shut up. I'll make you do it. I can put it on the screen right now. What are you going to do? Leave the studio? What if we do that?

We put Dylan in front of a green screen and just make him watch it and he just reacts to it. I'll just be shaking my head. Dude, I mean, Johnny Viral over here, I was talking about how viral he went on his segment. Thank you, Viral. It's just crazy. People are coming up to me on the street and be like, oh, you're the workout.

You're Lil' Pre. Lil' Pre in the building. You're Grand Pre. Yeah, whatever. When you see Dylan on West 6 this weekend, make sure to yell Lil' Pre from the patio that you're sitting on. I won't be on West 6. Dude, you're going to be on West 6th this weekend.

Hey, if you ever see Dylan out with Bae and they're at like a nice romantic dinner, definitely go walk up to the table and say, hey, Lil' Pree, thank you for all you do. Like, just don't even think twice. He won't mind it. I always love it when people say hi to me. Even when they're mean.

Because haters are my motivators, David. When they say, fuck you, Dorn. I love that, man. It's great. Just don't say it around the homie and we're good. He says it. He does not say, fuck you, Dorn. Yes, he does.

He will at some point. 16th birthday, I'm just going to have a cake that says that. He's going to pop out of it. He's allowed to say it on his 16th birthday. He told me he's going to antique you. What is that? He told me he's going to have a cake that says that. He's going to pop out of it. He's allowed to say it on his 16th birthday. He told me he's going to antique you. What is that? He told me he's going to give you an awful waffle. What's antique?

Somebody's sleeping and you get a handful of flour and just throw it in their face. Why is it called antique? I don't know. Because they look like they've got dust on them that's collected. Oh, that's good. So their face is covered in it. Oh, that's so bad. That's good.

I like table topping. Don't. Stop. We need to do more table topping. No. I don't disagree. That's so bad. That's good. I like tabletopping. Don't. Stop. We need to do more tabletopping. No. I don't disagree. That's how you break an arm. Somebody is getting tabletopped

before we leave the studio. That's what they do at the bar, the WTF over here. The fucking manager just tabletops people. They are, and they're cruising for pee,

and meanwhile, someone's getting tabletopped in the corner. Dude, you're killing my vibe over here. Is it true that they shared our segment

about the reviews for that bar? Yeah, I guess they didn't listen to the entire segment. They just saw that clip that was cut by either Adam or... That's best case scenario. That's best case scenario. That's fine. Yeah. Hey, can we get Brooks Koepka's fits tossed up on the screen right now?

Brooks Koepka. I always think of that whenever I hear his name announced on TV. It's the most fun name to say. Oh, God. I'm so sick of this guy. Randy, if you could expand on the first one so we can get a real good look. So he's in on the bid. I'm so sick of this guy.

That every major, like for the last two years, every major Nike just fits their guys in absolute trash. And now he's kind of seen it. He's seen the replies. And he's leaning into it. This is bad and not good. Yeah, but how much say does he get in these outfits? I don't think he gets much.

Go to the shoes. He said in his tweet, it's fashion, bro. Major looks for the U.S. Open golf league. Look, those shoes are kind of heat, honestly. I'm trying to think. Can I just say if Rory rocks those, it's completely different, and I like them. What color is Brooks? I don't like them.

Purple. Periwinkle. I don't like the purple. Tangerine. These are trash. If that purple is blue, I'd be into these. It's very My Little Pony or something. I don't like the fat of making golf shoes cool anymore.

I liked it when they all just sucked. You want to go back to the days of, like, the traditional foot joy. You want the green joys. Foot joy classics only. Yeah, those are sick. Didn't you say you got a foot jay? Got some foot jays? Didn't they call you the FJ Cruiser back in the day?

What is wrong with y'all? A lot of people know I play a foot joy glove. That's what I've got in the bag. Don't they call you the glove? Yeah. But it's hella D out there. Dude, you see me on the course. I'm just always in your face.

I'm in the back of your line, like just squatted down. Shut up, dude. As you're putting. I was not doing that. All-time nickname for Gary Payton, man. The glove. I'm on foot joy sight right now. These are trash, dude. These are. I'm on Footjoy's site right now. These are trash, dude.

These are trash. Footjoy's coming back. You just said you were kind of fucking with them. I don't like the perp. Was your colorblind not kicked in yet? Can I just say, that's mean, but funny. It's always kicked in. I can't turn it on or off.

Dylan, of all people to be making fun of somebody's golf shoes. Yeah, you can't talk. Dude, mine are so bad that I love them. You're wearing the 1998 dad mowing the lawn Adidas. Yeah, mine were like $44.99 off Amazon. White dad from the Burbs. Yes. Like personified.

They're so bad that they're absolute flames. You know what I mean? Nah. You're the dude who went on the golf trip with the boys and forgot to pack golf shoes, so you went to Academy. You found an Academy, like a town over, took an Uber there, bought like a $70 pair of shoes, and now you're just stuck with them. What did Ross forget when you were in Cabo with him?

Shoes. Golf balls and shoes. And you guys were – I'm not kidding. I'm not telling tales out of school. I think he talked about this. I swear to God, with the round and all the stuff he bought, I think he spent $800 before he got on the first team.

Oh, that's brutal. That's so brutal. He fired a 118 out there. Okay. He's not good at golf. He knows that, but that's not the point. I'm surprised he didn't do what I did when I forgot my golf shoes when I went to Mexico, and I just played in Yeezys.

That's sick. It was not sick. They don't have as much grip as you'd think. Dude, that's swag. I don't think they have any grip. I wouldn't think they'd have grip. They in Yeezys. That's sick. It was not sick. They don't have as much grip as you'd think. Dude, that's swag. I don't think they have any grip. I wouldn't think they'd have grip. They're Yeezys. That's fair.

They're not meant to dig in. Oh, Dylan's checking his watch. Where you got to be, bud? No, I have my U.S. Open snake drafts going on with my friends. And my texts are blowing up. My snake. And it's so annoying. I have friends.

I don't love my squad. Is this your new friends? I don't know. Well, Dylan, make sure you listen to me and Dan's so annoying. I have friends. I don't love my squad. Is this your new friends? I don't know. Well Dylan, make sure you listen to me and Dan's US Open preview that I'm doing later

with Dan. He just sent me the doc. Little preview? I fucking, I cannot wait to do a pod with Dan. Oh Dan! Wait,

which podcast is this for? I don't know but I know Dan's doing it so I'm doing it with Dan. You're rocking with Dan? Because he's rocking with us. Right. Dude, Will and I are both doing other pods this week.

Are you going to get invited to one? Yeah. I don't like being invited to other pods. I'll do them, though. I just don't like them. Yeah, what's your problem? I just don't like it. No, I'm just kidding.

We're trying to expand the network, and you're just sitting over here just trying to go viral on TikTok. Oh, I'm down. It's kind of interesting, this divide that's emerging, like where you're making it about yourself. You guys are better than us, though. Will and I are trying to grow this thing, and you're just like, yeah, I'm just going to make clips that go viral and feature me. That's what you said.

If I was like another person who hosted a podcast, I wouldn't invite me on. Why? Everybody says your laugh is contagious. Yeah, if you can make me laugh, it's going to be a good episode. Would that be devastating if somebody's like, hey, I'm going to have this Dylan guy on, and they just couldn't make you laugh?

That's just not funny, dog. They knew immediately the chemistry's just not there. You guys are strong guests. They did good. I'm not that good of a guest. I'm hit or miss. Will did RBP yesterday. That's a great Newfound Glory song.

Hit or miss? Yeah. No, I'm sure it's so. That's a great newfound glory zone. Hit or miss? Yeah. No, I'm sure it's so. Randy's nodding. Randy's nodding. He knows. I'm sure it's awesome. I can't believe Adam just writes on walls.

That's so swag. So swag. He's just dripping constantly. God. He just looked at me like he knew what I was talking about. To be clear, he wasn't writing on the wall. He put a piece of paper up against the wall and was writing vertically against it. Which is interesting because he has a desk that he sits at.

That's why it's so swag. He has a place to put the pad down and write. You don't see that. That's worse than... He's the bad boy of internships. Dude, is he the new bad boy of writing? Because the original bad boy was intern Evan, who I asked him to transcribe something and send it to me.

He did it all by hand and just handed it to me. Let's not forget we asked Randy, who's sitting right here, to make a calendar for us of all the videos we plan to make, and he wrote them out on a physical calendar with pen. Which is no longer here anymore. What are you doing? I want to be able to access this from my computer. No, man. You have to be in the studio. You have to be in the studio. I guess I'll drive up want to be able to access this from my computer. No, man. You have to be in the studio.

You have to be in the studio. No, I guess I'll drive up to the office and see what we had this week. Randy just wants us to hang out more up here. Can we talk about some hot sauce real quick? What? Always, man. Your boy likes hot sauce. Ever since moving to Texas, I've really taken to just eating hotter foods.

I'm not going to lie. I was kind of a bitch when it came to hot sauce and like just hot foods before i moved down here you really were still kind of are a little bit but dude no i'm not i'm i'm i'm a beast when it comes to eating hot stuff you're a beast you're a beast i'm a beast oh this is about trough isn't it oh it's trough baby the luxury hot sauce brand inspired by the elegance and indulgence of truffles everyone knows truff is probably the most baller food out there, right? It's a mega truff sandwich. It goes like caviar, truffles, and like— Shut up.

I don't know. Escargot or something? It's up there. It's luxurious. Look, there's dogs that hunt truffle. Yeah. In Italy. Which is objectively just like one of the tightest things in the world.

Yeah, you probably use salsa or hot sauce that don't even require a dog hunting. When I retire and require in a year from this thing, I'm going to retire to Italy to open up a truffle hunting camp. Dude, I'm sure it's going to do so well. Well, if you want to get some hot sauce with a little hint of truffle in it, all you have to do is just look no further than truff. They've got the style and swagger of streetwear culture that meets the Instagram-centric life cycle of food. It's so good, man. Think about that.

Dude, the intersection of streetwear and hot sauce. Dude, black truffles just hit different. Have you tried the hotter sauce? Yes. Because I said, maybe it was on the too much dip read, but I said that I was scared to try it. I was just doing the base level one, which was really good. I tried the hotter one recently. Let me tell you, it is hot, but it's good. It's real good. The original hot sauce blends black truffle, ripe chili, savory spices, and organic agave nectar. Dude, that's so nectar.

Dude, that's nectar. Their hotter sauce takes the heat up a notch with extra jalapenos, red chili, and habanero. For those who demand the spicier things in life. I like to keep things spicy. That stuff smells so good. You made that clear in this read. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

They even have the white truffle hot sauce that's infused with the rare and decadent white truffle. Ooh. Buddy. They've got more than a billion organic shout-outs on Instagram. They're just Instagram famous, and I like that. That's more than Dylan got. Yep. It's the number one best-selling hot sauce on Amazon

and the number one best-selling sauce on Whole Foods. Bezos is probably a big fan of this stuff. Dude, is that why he's going to space? Mm-hmm. He's looking for truffles in space. He's looking for the next thing, and it's space truffles. Dude, it's so tight. You've got to head over and get some trough.

It's really good. Honestly, and I'll say it, the cap and the logo, the branding is all aesthetically pleasing. I kind of like when I open up my pantry and I'm just looking right there at the trough. It just looks fun and it tastes good. I like to dress up. I do the rotisserie chickens. I've been doing those because it's easy. Just douse them in trough.

I think that's the easiest way to enjoy your trough. Just get a rotisserie chicken and sit at your desk at lunch hour. Well, Will, it's the only way I can enjoy rotisserie chicken. It's true. Go strap yourself with some trough. I hit my eggs with it, man. Dang, that's baller. It's dank.

It's so good. Get 15% off site-wide plus free shipping with promo code STEAM at truff.com. That's 15% off everything at truff. That's T-R-U-F-F, F as in fantastic,.com, promo code STEAM. Do you think Bezos is going to sprinkle some of this onto the Mona Lisa when he starts eating it? He's actually using this to fuel his rocket. Oh, my gosh. Who comes up with this kind of shit, man?

Is this real? So, you know change.org? It's an org that enacts change by using, what's it called? Petitions? I always say be the change you wish to see in the world. Or on the pod. Well, now there's a petition urging Jeffff bezos to buy and eat the mona lisa and i have to say like i'm kind of getting tired of bezos content because i'm like all right we

get it like billionaires can do anything they want like at some point it's going to stop being cool they can do whatever they want but as as uh dylan's favorite site foxnews.com reports a petition urging billionaire jeff bezos to buy the leonardo da vinci's mona lisa and eat it has gotten hundreds of signatures. Nobody has eaten the Mona Lisa, and we feel Jeff Bezos needs to take a stand and make this happen. Has no one really eaten the Mona Lisa yet? Hey, whoa. Real question here.

It's none of our business. Real question alert. Did Donatello do it? Come on, man. Don't make it dirty. Hey, real question. You can't buy this thing, right? It's not for sale.

Every painting has a price. You're going to bear hug the Louvre. Who owns it? Like, who actually owns it? Do we know? Dude, one signer said, Gobble DeLisa. I like that. Don't say Gobble.

Dude, you got to Gobble DeLisa. It's owned by the French government. I bet there's a price. Every government entity has a price, and he's got $200 billion. Like, what's it? What would this thing cost? $100 million? I don't know.

Five? You want to know what it's worth today? Y'all guess. I've got it pulled up right here. Is this a real? Well, per scienceabc.com. That's got to be accurate. My guess is it's valued at $750 million.

It's the most famous piece of art in existence. Yeah, no, let Will guess. Is it? I was going to say $400. Dylan was close. Er, $867. $867. Million dollars.

One million dollars. So it's the most famous piece of art in the world. Facts. Statue of Facts Statue of David Statue of David man He's just rocking that hog He's got a little A little thing A little hang down right

Proportionally yeah It's a normal Probably below average hang down But back then Everybody had a small hang down The statue of David Is only worth about 200 Is that true?

That's broke boy shit That's what it says From seeker.com. You have to imagine that's accurate. This is just more anti-Italian BS. What if you just bought the statue of David and put it in your foyer at home? That'd be so sick. Dude, would you put a mask on him to go with the times?

David, stop it. Have y'all been to the Louvre before? Yeah, I've been to the fucking Louvre, Dylan. Has David? I don't really do French art. I stick to Renaissance. Was Michelangelo French? Michelangelo? He was

very big in feed-ins. Funded by the Medici family. You know, it's not very big, the Mona Lisa. A lot of people think it's big. It's not. Who thinks it's big? It's about the size of that thing behind you. That thing is a little bigger than that. I don't think it is, dog.

No one can see what I'm talking about. Yeah, they can. They watch on YouTube, dude. Are you kidding, dog? They've induced it to the camera right now. You can't see. Okay, it's not that big. I buzzed the lens.

Two feet six inches by one foot nine inches. Okay. Why are we simping over this tiny-ass painting? It's interesting. At the Louvre, over this tiny-ass painting? It's interesting. At the Louvre, they have art everywhere, right? There are paintings. There are statues. It's a massive place.

Ooh. Only one thing in there is guarded 24-7 by security, and it's the Mona Lisa. It's crazy. If you could eat any painting, what would you eat? The Mona Lisa. Are you kidding? No. Not me. I'm going Last Supper.

Wow. Dude, straight-up goals, Not me. I'm going Last Supper. Wow. Dude, straight up goals, dinner vibes. It's the Last Supper. There's been no supper since. I've had supper. I'm eating Starry Night, dude. I'm a Van Gogh guy. Everyone knows that.

Van's Gogh guy. What are those? Stop. Where do you think that the Last Supper is being housed? Like where's the Last Supper taking place? Like Arby's or something? No, no, no. It's not at Arby's.

That would be sick. I would just be doing five for fives. Where's the painting is your question? I have no idea. None. Fucking idiot. You just looked it up. It's a Santa Maria delle Grazie.

In Italy. Do you know Jesus can turn water into Arby's sauce? Is that in Florence? That's facts. No, it's not in Florence. Roma? Roma? Okay, we know that you know different cities in Europe, dude.

Tell me this. Prego. Is Jeff Bezos a Basel? Jeff Bezos? You know what's called him? Jake Basel. Jake Basel. Is he allowed to blend it up when he eats it, like into a smoothie?

Or does he have to eat it like a sandwich? Like a really... Like it's a big piece of flatbread. If you're going to eat the Mona Lisa, how do you go about eating it? I mean, blending it up is the obvious safe move here. New segment, how you munching? How are you going to munch this pain? If I'm allowed to blend it up i'm blending it up put some water in there that's our i'll make a mona lisa smoothie i'll make a smoothie and then you and mommy make a movie you hear about these people

who eat like planes and shit there's a dude who ate an entire airplane. I just don't know why you would do that. They should make the plane stronger if someone can just eat it. No wonder it's not going to survive impact. Some guy is going to eat it. I don't know why you would want to do that. Eat the plane or crash the plane? Eat it.

When y'all were pledging, didn't they give you a bunch of feral cats that you had to eat over the course of two weeks? No, but there's a legend that a pledge class was tasked of eating a couch throughout the course of like two weeks. No, but there's a legend that a pledge class was tasked of eating a couch throughout the duration of pledge. I've heard the recliner. Not in ours, right?

No. Because I never heard of that. But I heard about it from you, and that sounds. Maybe it was a recliner. Yeah, I'd heard recliner. Either way. I like this idea. No, I don't want to eat.

It's disgusting. I don't want to eat furniture. Is that so crazy? Yeah, I'm going to go to the fraternity next door. They don't ask me to eat furniture. Yeah, man. You guys seem like good dudes, and your parties are sick. They're like, I don't want to eat the couch.

I'd rather just go get some schwaps and go get some chicken strips at Jones. Yeah. You guys got any Mona Lisas? Oh, my God. So he's not going to do it, right? I don't know. Is that like a Banksy thing? Didn't Banksy have a stunt like a couple years ago where someone bought his painting, and when they bought it at auction, it like self-destructed?

That's exactly right. But it also, It didn't... It was supposed to shred the entire thing and fall onto the ground but it got jammed at the last minute. That's embarrassing.

So that's why it's all hanging out at the bottom. That's embarrassing. But that actually makes it way better if you buy that piece of art because now it's not just like pieces of paper

on the ground. Makes it more valuable. I think it does make it more valuable. Have you guys watched the Banksy documentary? That was interesting. Exit through the...

It's called Exit Through the Something. It's going to bug me. Exit Through the Gift Shop. How has no one caught him, like, mid-creation? Like, oh, there's Banksy. Let's identify him. Dude, does no one know who he is? No.

Is that real? Yeah. I don't know anything about him. I don't really fuck with modern art. You see some of these artworks he does, and it's not like it takes him a minute. It's probably taking him an hour to do one, if not a whole lot longer. How has no one popped him? What I don't understand about Banksy is that all these other Banksy fakes show up on sides of buildings and stuff like that.

How do we know it's actually Banksy and it's not just some imitator? Because he claims them via social media. He's like yes i did this one this one this one so he's on he has apps he also set up a um he paid or he found someone to sell some of his artworks on the street for like ten dollars a pop and no one knew who did them but he did them so they bought for 10 bucks and then later he was like by the way i did these and not worth a shit ton of money it's like a cryptocurrency he's not it's interesting the banksy situation is pretty interesting do you think he's the guy who spray painted the uh big dong on my neighbor's fence probably i mean someone just did like a very graphic penis.

You got to think. Blue spray paint. He lives in London, doesn't he? Nobody knows. That's the stomping grounds. Why are you trying to air out Banksy's identity? Yeah, just let the man live. I think it's fairly common knowledge that most of his stuff is done in London. What if he's staying in Paris?

He's not staying in Paris. What if Banksy was Timo? That'd be sick. What if Banksy was Timo? That'd be sick. What if Adams was practicing writing on that wall and we come in tomorrow and there's like a rat eating a government uniform of some sort or something. Damn it. There's levels to that. Levels, dude.

Like, hike out of the bank, see? The Mona Lisa. We're dropping at the bank. Up in the vault. Where are we dropping? You don't even know. The Mona Lisa isn't even that tight. It's not a great painter. I agree.

It's fine. Why is it so famous? I just think there's better ones. Why is it so famous? Tell me. Because she's staring at you. Is there a back story behind it that makes it crazy famous? Did Michelangelo smash?

Michelangelo didn't paint this. It wasn't Michelangelo. It was Michelangelo. It was Leonardo da Vinci. No, it was Michelangelo. And Donatello. Did Donatello smash? And Splinter.

Okay, just because you didn't paint it doesn't mean you didn't smash Lisa. Okay, but Leonardo da Vinci painted it. Is her first name Mona? Or does that mean something else in Italian or something? Isn't that that Brooks and Dunn song? I don't know. Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa.

I don't think that's how that one goes. I don't know. We'll think it might be how it goes. I'm kind of vibing it. I'm kind of vibing it. Can you verify? Look it up there. Look up the back story of this painting, dog. Dude, no one is here to hear our art takes.

Yeah, they are. I want to know why it's so popular. People want to know who spray painted the big old throbbing dong on my neighbor's fence. No one cares about that. No, they care. Is it your new neighbor or your old neighbor? Nancy's got a bigger fist. It's not like a street over.

It's not real. You're definitely like one of the suspects there. No. Oh, it's probably that podcast guy doing hijinks. That's fair. It's the mustache guy with the newborn. That is one thing I never did

as a high schooler or middle schooler. I never was into, I didn't do graffiti. Is Mona Lisa Loki a baddie? Hard to say, really. I mean, there's a photo of her or a painting of her.

He's kind of tiny. You're not looking at the backstory, are you? Nah. Jerk. The backstory is that Michelangelo painted it. Leonardo DiCaprio stole it, claimed it as his own, and now it's hanging in the louver.

Can I just give a shout to intern Peyton, who does really dope drawings of dogs? She did one of Randy. It's in my nursery. I would eat one of her drawings of a dog if she gave me one. I didn't get one. You got one. I sought eat one of her drawings of a dog if she gave me one. I didn't get one. You got one. I sought her out to make it.

I sought her out to make it. I texted her. I was like, hey, do you mind drawing this for me? Did you eat it? No, it's hanging in the room. Eat the drawing. What's your problem, David? Would that be insulting

to the artist? Oh, okay. you ate the painting. I don't. Yeah. Is Da Vinci going to get offended if Bezos does that? They, like, meet in heaven and he gets, like, sucker punched? He's rolling over in his grave. I got pictures of this bad boy.

Sick, dude. Because I've been there. Instagram one. Dave has it. I'll do Instagram one right now. Nobody cares, Dylan. I care. It was tight. Dude it. I'll do Instagram one right now. Nobody cares, Dylan. I care. It was tight. Dude, stop trying.

Stop trying on the main feed right now. Look at that. Right there. You didn't get a selfie with it? I did, but I don't know. How do you not get a selfie? I did. I look so gross that I'm never showing anybody.

Show us. Holy shit, you look revolting. I wanted you to hold the arm out. It's not technically a selfie because I didn't take it, but that's me. That's not a selfie. That's me standing in front of her. Fucking idiot doesn't know what a selfie is.

Oh my God. I believe I do. Hey, do you guys hear that? No. No, I literally don't. Oh, now I do. Ha ha ha ha. Ha.

Oh, it's this weekend in fun presented by Vizzy. You guys know that to celebrate pride in a meaningful way, Vizzy Hart Seltzer created label-less cans to reinforce the beauty of loving our own unique personal identity and living beyond pre-assumed labels.

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The facts? Shout out to the Mud Hook. Go to the Mud Hook if you're in Duncanville. Great burgers. Great drinks. And Vizzy. Dude, do they have pineapple mango? What about raspberry tangerine?

All of the above. Dang. Blackberry lemon? Watermelon strawberries? I said all of the above, man. Dang. They even have their new lemonade hard seltzer

for delicious flavors. Did you just say watermelon strawberries? I did. No one is doing that. I did. No, one person is doing it and it's me.

Watermelon, peach, raspberry, strawberry. They got them all. What's your problem, Dylan? We'll go viral. Yeah. Dude, let me go viral. You're not going viral with this. I don't know.

People are going to be mashing that heart button when we put up a half-second vine of me saying Strawbees. It's coming back. Uh-huh. I'm going to put it on peach. Please do. Speaking of peach. Peach lemonade, dude.

You might catch me drinking one of those during a happy hour live tomorrow. First adult beverage I had in my new house, strawberry lemonade. Really? True story. How'd it go? I mean, I knew it was going to be good because I love all the lemonades, but it was just nice. I was watching a little live from the U.S. Open, having fun, listening to Brandl. Okay.

Just talking about some shit. You weren't having that much fun listening to Brandl. I wasn't having that much fun, but the Vizzy was good. God, the Vizzy, man. Upgrade your hard seltzer to Vizzy to find out where you can purchase Vizzy's limited edition pride packaging or any of the other refreshing flavors. Go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.

To get updates on the latest flavor drops and more, you can also sign up for their emails at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. To get updates on the latest flavor drops and more, you can also sign up for their emails at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribe. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com backslash subscribe. Must be 21 or older. Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend? Thank you for asking, Will. I didn't want to, but yeah. We do this segment weekly. Yeah, right.

I understand. I have a pretty fun little weekend coming up, I think. Friday, I might see you at some point. Might be a birthday party. I don't know if Dave was invited to it. We were, but I wasn't going to bring it up. I don't want to reveal too much. I was kind of surprised that you were.

Bay and I got that invite last night. Pretty big for us as a unit. Might stop by. Might get a dinner off that night as well. Oh, wow. He's going to eat dinner, folks. But at a restaurant. Dylan must be doing well. Hello, I've got to have a meal.

You see him out, remember, shout a little pre really loud. It's actually a celebratory dinner. Because Bae... She sold her house. Not a big deal, but she sold her house. A little celly is in order, I think. Didn't you already do the celebration dinner for that? No.

Okay. No, we did not. I don't like how much you're celebrating. You dumb jerk. Saturday, I don't have much. I get parks Saturday and Sunday. Of course, Sunday is Father's Day. Hey, Dylan, I have a question, though.

What? So you're going to go to a birthday party and dinner. When are you going to find time to watch your Golden Knights play? I'll find time. Oh, are you calling in to question his fandom? Do you care? I love how you just looked up the schedule. Do you care?

No, I didn't, dude. I'm a hockey guy. Everyone knows that. Don't. Well, don't. Some guy had the nerve to call in and ask Dylan a question on Too Much Dip for Monday. And I shredded him.

And Dylan completely. I skewered him. The kid unsubscribed to the pod. I skewered him. You said he had a dork voice. He did. He goes, tell me about your Golden Knights. How do they get their players?

You're on. Shut up. Dang, dude. People were saying he pwned you. He didn't pwn shit. I pwned him, dog. I stuffed him in a locker. Oh.

Anyway. That's what he does. Check out too much dip. Anyway, Sunday. I don't really have much on the books for Father's Day. I will probably see my father at some point. And, of course, I am one as well. A father, that is.

Congratulations. Indeed you are. Are you an uncle, though? I don't know if Parks has anything planned for me. I am an uncle as well. He does, but... Really? Yeah.

He's taking you to Schlitterbahn. I'm going to be the first to say happy Father's Day to you, lads. You're very first. Thank you. Very cool. Very cool. Very cool. Hey, do you know what July 26th is? I guess I'm done with my weekend, huh?

It's National Aunts and Uncles Day. I think we need to have a party for that. Is there really? We know Luke P is celebrating. Oh, he's celebrating hard. Yeah. Big day for him. Thank you for congratulating me on Father's Day.

You're welcome. I appreciate that. It's a little pre-congratulatory. It's always, you know, it's a little emotional. It's big. I'm happy for you guys you know good friend are you hey dave what's up with your weekend dog are you done i didn't know if you were done are you playing a member guest to like acc this weekend or something yeah what's up with you right it's your problem i'm on the wait list there yeah you know we'll see um so uh yeah I'll probably be doing a little celebratory dinner.

Maybe at the house, though. Yeah, we moved in to the new place. I'll cause for celebration. Crack a couple of vizzies. We'll see about it. Maybe Friday night we'll get out and get to the event that Dylan alluded to. Maybe. We'll see.

Again. U.S. Open, mans open man be doing all that it'll be my first time to enjoy u.s open sunday which is also father's day as a father and let me be the first to congratulate you will thank you dylan as well thank you man on father's day means a lot fathers um also speaking of fathers did i didn't have time to do this earlier, but my dad sent me a text earlier. It said, do you have DVDs for the Godfather movies? I'm ordering the set on Amazon if you need. So I don't.

I don't think I need DVDs. Can you even still play DVDs? Did you teach your dad about streaming? He knows. That's the thing. I think he's just a tangible guy. I respect that. He's like, nah, yeah. He doesn't respect the NFT. He's a fungible guy. He's the thing. I think he's just a tangible guy. I respect that. He's like not – yeah, he doesn't respect the NFT.

He's a fungible guy. He needs funge. That's about it, man. Going to be unpacking, trying to get settled. Maybe I'll get out. Maybe we'll do a beer with intern Serena. Davey's stepping out. Oh, yeah, that's right.

We'd like to see her at some point. That could happen on Saturday. Oh, it can't happen Saturday. I have to bring the homie if I do. That's for stepping out. Oh, yeah, that's right. I would like to see her at some point. That could happen on Saturday. Oh, it can't happen Saturday. I have to bring the homie if I do. That's for the boys. Oh, true. So I would make an exception. Well, I would love to know what you're doing.

It's big time. Absolutely huge. Yeah, I mean, Friday afternoon, everyone knows that I'm going to be watching that England-Scotland game. Match of the century right here. How about that France-Germany game? I didn't watch it because I was told it was a boring game, so I just caught highlights.

And Bob Page couldn't stay onside. Like, what are you doing? Yeah, I noticed that as well. And so I'm going to chill. Sally's got an appointment that day, so I'm going to introduce Fritz into some international soccer. And then, yeah, I have a birthday party for my sister-in-law on Friday night. Maybe I'll see you guys there.

You know what the dress code is? Yeah, it's like funeral attire. Yeah. You have to dress like you're going to a funeral. Because she's saying goodbye to her youth. It's a funeral for her 20s because she's turning 30. That's kind of dark. It's a simple concept.

A little bit, yeah. Understand it or not. I actually bought a coffin, and I'm going to show up and do the Undertaker gif. I'm just bringing my bison coffin. Yeah, I'm going to be inside of Dylan's bison coffin. It's going to be sick. I'm glad you said bison coffin after that sentence. Then I think I'm Saturday.

You know, it's open. It's also for the boys. Who knows what could happen? You trying to link? Dude, Sunday. Doing something big. We're going up to Sally's parents' house for Father's Day, and we are taking her dad's Traeger on its maiden voyage.

Where are you taking it? What are you going to burn? I don't know what we're burning, but I know we're not concerning. Oh, that's sick, dude. I know, very sick. You should do a pig. I don't know what we're going to do yet. I think I need to reach out to him and ask.

Dude, you should cook a Mona Lisa. Ooh, can you smoke the Mona Lisa? Yeah. ask. Dude, you should cook a Mona Lisa. Ooh. Can you smoke the Mona Lisa? Yeah. That's the way you take in the Mona Lisa. You got to cut it up and roll joints with it. Pull Treg on that. You probably roll it all wrong.

Pull Treg on that shit. I'm not from Oklahoma. They roll their Mona Lisas all wrong. You have to be a really long time listener to understand what just happened. We have so many stupid jokes on this podcast. Oh, just because it didn't go viral is stupid? Okay. It's true. Vinny viral over here.

Are you going to move into some fucking house with a bunch of dudes with shitty haircuts and start doing selfie videos and shit? He's like the RA. You're the house manager. He's like, hey, dude, no alcohol paraphernalia in the rooms, man. We've been over this What's your problem? Stop

Fuck you Fuck you Lil Pre No one's called me that I hate you Lil Pre That's all I got More like Lil D Are we doing breaking news Or anything?

Nah What's he gonna call it? Nah we're not doing Breaking news today That's sick man Brett like didn't want to For some reason And he's just sitting there

Chopping it up With the interns right now Must be nice I thought he was going somewhere Yeah he's not The way he said it Yeah he seemed real panicked That's sick, man. Yeah, it is. Bye. Bye. Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend. Sorry, what was that? Bye.