Circling Back - Will Gets A Vortex Bottle & Frat Consultants

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Will live unboxes a Vortex Bottle from a listener, Dave eats what is allegedly the most sour candy on earth, an old dude acting as a Bama Frat Consultant, getting fooled by Poo Crave's Justin Timberlake tweet, climate activists spray painting Stonehenge, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:16) Will Live Unboxes Vortex Bottle (39:02) Dave Eats The Sourest Candy on Earth (43:45) Frat Consultant (50:00) Everyone Tricked by JT Poo Crave Tweet (58:00) Spray Painting Stonehenge (1:07:00) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Twillory: www.twillory.com (WASHED18 for $18 off purchase of $139 or more) Pestie: www.pestie.com/steam (10% off!) Lucy: www.lucy.co (STEAM for 20% off)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

we are coming day after day we are coming all right we're back circling back podcast washed media headquarters in the beautiful austin texas area my name is will to freeze to my left david ruff man i almost thought we were gonna have to hunker down today the way this tropical sis is rolling in when is it hitting davy what when's the tropical sis rolling in oh the tropical sis uh it's rolling in right now what are the surgeon heavy what are the what are the meteorologists saying they're saying if you're not careful you might catch uh is there concern about this tropical storm uh not here we're just gonna

get a little rain here okay I know but in general like I don't this is a little not being from texas i don't i didn't grow up with like the vibe around tropical storms and so from my perspective there's always there's always a dividing line between tropical storms there's the one that people are like oh this is gonna be fun and then there's the one that's like oh i don't let's hope this isn't another harvey it certainly depends on where you are geographically located if you're next to the coast then there's a reason for concern we're inland we're fine but we we are concerned for our folks on the coast if you're on the coast board the board those windows up is there a name does this one have a name alberto oh alberto yeah they were they were touting it as a potential lake filler in Central Texas. No, it became clear yesterday it was going to be kind of a bust here.

But, you know, a little rain, cool us down. Last night, I don't know if you guys got out, pretty nice evening. It was a nice evening. I even took Stella for a little pre-dusk stroll, and it was quite nice. I didn't go outside last night. Stayed in the air conditioning, vibed out. Truth be told, I was planning on getting up early and taking Stella on an early morning walk, but I didn't fall asleep until 1.45 a.m.

I pulled a Randy. What were you watching? I was in shut-my-brain- off mode in bed and i i just the algorithm was popping and i was i just stayed on my phone a little bit and did absolutely nothing and it was honestly it was kind of nice i regret getting very little sleep but it was it was nice now i've had this really uh really dumb thing i've been doing lately where i play fifa get frustrated and then uh turn the game off and then sit on that same couch for like an hour scrolling and then suddenly it's after midnight i need to go to bed and then i wake up early with my kid and i'm like why'd i do that yeah like what's up i do this thing where i i'm like okay

if i fall asleep right now i will get seven and a half hours while your phone while your phone is right here like if i fall asleep right now and i'm like oh but let's see what this next reel has to offer i just keep going and so it's a mess what if the next one's like the best one i know what if it's life what if it's life-changing it's not it's like a hot air balloon catching on fire or it's a young lady uh doing a street interview that says what to spit on that thing and then i see her like seven more times she was a big player last night yeah if you don't know what we're talking about you'll know just give it time give it about 24 hours you'll figure it out yeah is she allowed to use the spittoon at the saloon?

I don't know if she's... Well... It's open to everybody. They do ladies night on Thursday. Yeah. Yeah. Looks kind of a novelty. Looks like about noon, the rain will move in. Okay.

Dylan Shivery. Hey, everyone. Happy to be here. Running on a little sleep, but honestly, I feel pretty good. Well, what happened? You didn't sleep last night? Yeah, did you not sleep all last night? Did you go to bed late?

Yeah, 1.45, as I mentioned. Really? What were you watching? I mentioned about two or three minutes ago. Oh. Dude, it seems like in all that time, you could have pressed play and finished Harry Potter. Great point, Will. I'm not watching it without Parks.

That's the deal we made. Okay. We were in the... Hey, cool. Cool playing the good dad card. We're in this pattern now, dude. We make popcorn every night and we turn on HP and we just let it ride. Wait.

Do you doctor the popcorn? Tell me you're not in the middle of one of the movies while he's at camp. No. We have finished four. Okay. We are starting on five when he returns. What's that popcorn do? We're doing smart pop

butter flavor okay and it's honestly really good butter flavor or real butter i don't think it's real butter considering i don't add any butter to it yeah it's just already in the pack we weren't a popcorn family growing up we weren't either really i hate popcorn we were and i think that's where my diver tick kicked in who hates popcorn i understand the allure of popcorn but the cost benefit analysis when i run it uh from a kernel standpoint it simply isn't worth it for me because popcorn is awesome most of the time that i'm eating popcorn i'm in public it's like a free food or something to snack on whatever it's always a public food for me and there's always a decent chance i'm gonna get a kernel stuck in my gums that it's gonna just

wreck my brain and try to get it out that's just part of the deal is something gets stuck in your shit there's not that many foods that like people are willing to get stuck in their teeth for a significant amount of time like popcorn counterpoint red meat you get a kernel stuck in your gums but he's got the 11 herbs and spices. Now we're talking. Could be kind of dope. You need to try it out at home and just see how it treats you. No, I have.

Like, I have. It's just not for me. I hate colonels, man. I hate them. We were at Chips and Salsa, fam, as you probably could have guessed. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I have no problem with that. That's guessed. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I have no problem with that. That's great.

Dude, that's crazy. Yeah. Popcorn was fine. No. Whatever. Parks loves it. The only time I will go in on popcorn, turn the brain off, and just start munching, like really munch there, Dylan, is Christmas time. when you get those popcorn tins in popcorn tins are undefeated because the thing is like i don't care what flavors you get which one you reach for first well here's you could do you could do it all like

you got the cheddar over here you got the caramel over here you can even have a regular flavor right here you can even do a little chocolate covered if you want to i freaking love the juxtaposition between the cheddar and the caramel it's the juxto dude did you say caramel yeah the juxtaposition between the two between the the cheddar and the what caramel caramel randy turn backy do you have something to say if you're talking popcorn you're talking about different flavors we maybe we should do some uh's popcorn when we're in Chicago. That's the good stuff. I've got to do my sour ball. Yeah, why are you sandbagging

your sour ball? I was going to do it on the show today. I completely forgot. On last week's episode, we decided to talk about how Dylan had procured the world's sourest candy. Wait, have you not tried it yet? No. Barrett did it yesterday. Yeah, I saw him. I cut you off completely. Did we record him? No, we should have you not tried it yet no barrett did it yesterday yeah so did we record

you off completely did we record him no we should have he he made it about as long as i did well we ordered some of the candy we have about i don't know 30 in the office right now and we've all done it except for dave so we need to get you on that train we didn't record barrett no he just reached he just reached for one and he goes what what are these? And I said, put it in your mouth and find out. And he didn't make it long. Don't cut that first sound bite. He fucked around and found out. I'm shocked, and I mean shocked, at how well these two plus Brett handled that sour candy.

The only thing that I did for consecutive winters was take the money that my mom gave me when I went skiing and I would buy warheads, whatever the most aggressive warheads we could find were. And I would sit in a chair and we would try to eat them without making faces because we were six years old. Did you enjoy it? I mean, I learned to love it. It's just like, let's see if I can tolerate this awful pain. I think it like forever affected my tongue. Like, I don't think I have the sour like... It was sour Skittles for me. My mouth was an absolute wreck after.

Pretty much every candy that I enjoy in mass quantity places are a little sour. Like the Patch Kids. Those are barely sour. Why don't they have regular... They only have Sour Patch Kids. They don't just have Patch Kids. I would eat just non-sour Sour Patch Kids.

Yeah. Sour Patch Kids are great, but the sourness is very mild. Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to say it was too aggressive. No, no, no, no. I was going to sour shame you. No. Did you ever see the sequel to Patch Adams?

It was Sour Patch Adams. Mm-hmm. He was just a fucking dickhead. Mm-hmm. I missed that one. He was just a shitty guy. Mm-hmm. Just in a bad mood all the time.

Yeah, it wasn't Robin Williams. They got somebody else. Yeah, Dylan doesn't like Robinhead. I missed that one. He was just a shitty guy. Just in a bad mood all the time. Yeah, it wasn't Robin Williams. They got somebody else. Yeah, Dylan doesn't like Robin Williams. He famously hates him. I don't hate him. His comedy just doesn't do much for me. You didn't like Mork and Mindy? I didn't watch Mork and Mindy.

You should start one of the episodes, give it like eight minutes, sleep on it, wait a few days, then finish that episode, then rinse and repeat. Okay. He was a little zany for my taste. His serious roles were goaded though, dude.

A hell of an actor. Yeah. I agree with that. His performance alone is one of the main reasons that I think, I think when it comes down to it, I think Good Will Hunting is probably my favorite movie of all time. And I think his role in that, I think is the most major player shout out matt damon though you know right do you think damon would be a good hang yeah better than his body

ben dude yeah i'm i don't even i feel bad for ben affleck. He's lost the plot. He fumbled... What's her name? They are... What's her name? Ana de Armas. I don't think he fumbled. I think he's... Isn't he like an alcoholic?

I don't know. She's beautiful. I've heard that he's like an alcoholic and he's just been struggling with everything. He's now on the rocks with J-Lo and Jennifer Garner was seen going into their house and people were thinking it was an intervention, all this stuff. You can't fool her.

He's also done a lot of movies where alcoholism is rampant. He did that basketball movie where he was just an alcoholic basketball coach. Do you write what you know, David? That's what people wonder. That's a great question. Do you write what you know? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Damon might be an alright hang. Probably not. I feel like you're very... I think right now the best hang in Hollywood is probably GP. Gwyneth Paltrow? G-Pal. Yeah. Yeah.

He'd be a good person to hang around, yeah. Yeah. He seems cool, man. Moving back to austin i hear oh tax play i think he's just kind of over the la scene i think it's a tax play no state income tax dylan he's gonna be the biggest fish in this little pond over here if he starts uh stunting around town a lot it's's McConaughey sitting here like, all right, young whippersnapper, chill out. This is my city still. Man, he's going to run the city. What if he's like the vice minister of culture?

Better watch your girl. Hold on to her tight. It's not a bad thing to have him in town for recruiting purposes. That's true. For everything. It's a good thing. He's fully bought in on the ut stuff as he went there he famously yeah dude just okay wall parks is out of town now you get to

watch the baseball movie that he was in everybody wants some oh i did i i forgot to tell you i did watch it chelsea and i watched it did you enjoy his performance i hated that movie why fuck yeah there there wasn't a plot there was no that's kind of why i enjoyed it actually just it was just college guys just drinking and trying to hook up with chicks and like i kept waiting for something to happen dude this movie sucks sounds like a lot happened nothing dude nothing happens in that movie. Did y'all watch it in one evening? Yes. How do you watch that?

To be fair to Dylan, he's not wrong. Like there really isn't some like crazy, like overwhelming plot. Like there's not a plot. You're halfway through the movie and you're just kind of like, all right, these guys have just been hanging. Isn't Dazed and Confused like one of your favorite movies? There's a plot. There's an excellent movie. There's an actual storyline to it.

What's the plot? The moon tower. They just all go to a party. But there's like ebbs and flows to the movie. This is just like – Who's talking about Real – And it's a baseball – like it's a baseball movie. They play baseball for three minutes in the movie.

Well, who are we talking about Real Bros with? And somebody was – I was like, yeah, the first episodes are all like five or seven minutes. That was me. And then you were like, yeah, it does move it does move pretty fast i was like no it does not move fast the entire first season is about throwing one single kickback i said it just seems like those episodes are so long for them they only like five minutes i'm like man there's a lot in here by the way that that's where chelsea's from like she's from like simi valley or like right outside it so she i was like have you heard of this show? She's like, no. Dude.

I showed her the clip where the dude wants to fight the baby. She's like, okay, I think I have to watch this show. She's like, that's exactly how they actually talk. Yeah. Yeah. Dylan, this movie that you sent me a minute ago, did you watch this in one sitting? I didn't send you anything. It says Snatch Adams.

Come on, man. What are you doing? I don't know. You fucking sent it to me. I didn't say anything to you slack i'm sorry i didn't want you to ask me if i'd seen it because i had i didn't want to i didn't want to be honest dylan it's not like it's one of my favorite movies like i just think it's an entertaining glenn powell movie where he gets he you have to admit he's the star

of the show in that movie though like he is i don't think he was like it doesn't feel like he was supposed to be like the main character but the way that he steals the movie it's like oh well this guy's the talent yeah was that his first big role uh no i think that was after scream queens or whatever he was in that you watched first yeah i think that was after but he clearly likes link later yeah austin guy dude we're just big Austin guys. It's no Dazed and Confused, Randy, back to your point. You can't, I mean, they are very similar in a lot. Dylan complaining about a movie where all it is is college baseball players drinking and hooking up with chicks

is a thing I thought I'd never see. This is disgusting. I wanted something to happen, and nothing ever happened. It was really weird. Did you leave this review? It's one star. It says, I'm all for fun and easygoing movies, but to be honest, I just thought this one was a bit rubbish. There was a limited amount of plot and it all seemed a bit jumbled.

The movie is based around a boy that goes off to college to be on the baseball team. Yeah, I did leave that. That was me. A bit rubbish. I say that all the time this person wrote about 400 words they wrote long it's longer than the movie dave what is that hat that hat's dope have you seen your nice boy swag is that a cracker barrel hat it's my trinket hat i got it in the trinket shop at cracker barrel no what's it say it's a montana hat says glacier raft company why don't you wear that yeah dude dave dave fucking

he rafts in glaciers for sure i don't know i didn't want to like i didn't want to cut brett i i hear you you know what i mean like let him have his thing he went to montana once too it's true maybe twice he retroactively went to jackson hole which is tight he He went back. He's like, I got the shirt. I gotta go. Yeah, I gotta earn the shirt that I've been wearing for the past two years. The multiple shirts. Randy, what are you rocking today? I'm rocking a Ricky Prosper joint.

Ricky Prosper, noted graphic designer in the WASH Media universe who will, in fact, be at our Muggsy event next weekend. Oh, yeah. Less than a month away. Less than a month away. Next week,

we'll be in Chicago starting Friday, 5 to 6.30 at Muggsy on Armitage. Saturday, starting at 6 p.m. Starting at 6 p.m.

on Saturday at Sluggers. Dylan will be in the batting cages taking him to the chest like Adam Sandler and Happy Gilmore. That's right. Maybe on the Golden Tee Machine, too, Dylan will be in the batting cages taking him to the chest like Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore. That's right.

Maybe on the Golden Tee machine too. Dylan will be tearing his rotator cuff, just hammered playing Golden Tee. My shoulder, I'm on the DL. If you don't notice, I didn't play a single game yesterday. Yeah, you're being soft as fuck. My shoulder straight up hurts. I'm going to watch this Glenn Powell movie. I'm going to quote it extensively in Chicago.

Glaze it, dude. I'm going to glaze this thing so hard it's sluggers. You should. It's going to be great. That's a good idea, actually. That's a good idea. We should steal some bits for sluggers. Okay.

I'll watch it. Come join us in Chicago. It's going to be fun. If you haven't already, go subscribe to our newsletter, washed.substack.com. You can watch every episode of this very podcast on youtube.com slash circling back. Dylan's Trackhouse will be live tomorrow on youtube.com slash washedmedia. And finally, go pick up some merch at washedmedia.shop. Meet our friends over at Twillery, the performance menswear brand that brings life-changing functionality to your wardrobe.

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My green performance Twillery shorts will be making it as it's going to be sweat boy season in Arizona. You got to do it. You got to do it. It's a dry heat though. Is it a dry heat? There's no dry heat when it comes to me. Well, now the armpit Botox is kind of firing.

It makes a huge difference. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're good either way because you're rocking your Twillery Shorts. Exactly. Exactly. You think I'm not bringing my twill to Reagan, Chicago? We know you're bringing your twill to Chicago.

Yeah, we weren't going to bring it up, but yeah, you are. I'm bringing my twill to Reagan, Chicago. We know you're bringing your twill to Chicago. But yeah, you are. As a special offer to our listeners, use code WASHED18 for $18 off your first order of $139 or more at twillery.com. Twillery, tailored for performance. Got a package yesterday in the mail.

Randy knew about this package. knew about this package. That noise you might have heard is a Vortex bottle thing that I bought on eBay. You guys familiar with Vortex bottles? If you're not familiar with Vortex bottles, Dylan, I know you're kind of confused right now. So there was a time in everyone's life, it was a beautiful time, where you see these,

see this Miller Lite? They turned the neck of the bottle into a vortex and so it shot beer down your throat at a faster rate than beer normally pours out of bottles okay i know that that we're about to open one of these and i think you're going to drink it i would also i would i kind of want to experiment with a regular bottle of beer and pour them out at the same time and see if it actually comes out faster i'm not drinking it right now if this is a vortex i thought you said you are i'm going it's it's warm so what easier to chug no okay so here's my plan i'm not just gonna drink this casually like this is what this might be the last vortex bottle i ever have on earth and it might yeah like there

aren't that many left when i drink this it's going to be an event there might be a dj i thought you're gonna chug it right here like no i thought about it but i i don't think it would be right like i like this might be the last time i ever get to do this i need to consult my boys like i gotta call todd up and be like hey dude i procured one i guess after you drank it we could take the empty bottle fill it with water and still conduct the experiment that i mentioned a couple minutes ago we could we could we'll do the vortex bottle experiment after. Yeah, I wanted to see if it actually works. All right, here we go.

Randy, can you give me a little credit? So this box came in the mail yesterday, and I saw that it had my name on it. What is the first thing that I said to you when I got this box? It says, oh, I think that's a vortex bottle. That's not what I said. That's what he said. What if it's not?

What if it's a coffee bottle? I know that it is. Can you read who it's from what if it's what if it's a coffee no i i know that because can you read who it's from on the because there's a note they typed it will i don't know how old this genuine vortex bottle is but i'm fairly certain it has been refrigerated since it was purchased drink you drink it if you must or appreciate it for the engineering marvel that it is. Can't imagine it's any worse than a milkster. Mitch, a.k.a. Pushy Crusher. Oh, Pushy Crusher. Where did we see him recently?

He's a staple on Dermot's track house. That's right. He was on the track house. Pushy Crusher. Pushy Crusher. Twitch guy. Twitch guy. He's a Twitch fella.

Shout out to Pushy Crusher. Here we go. Oh,. He's a Twitch fella. Shout out to Pushy Crusher. Here we go. Oh my God. There she is. Look at that thing, man. That's a vortex. Look at the ridges. Imagine how fast it's going to shoot down your throat.

This is cool. I wonder how many are left. I can really do. Dude, did you guys see the TikTokiktok that went viral like last week no you're david uh there's a tick there's a tiktok that went viral of a dude going in a refrigerator and pulling out a vortex bottle and being like i look what i just found and people were going nuts for it wow for mitch to give this up to us mitch you're my backer of the month very generous april 18th 2011 is that possible yeah it sounds about right that was a birthday that sounds about i don't know if that's a birth date or expiration date well here let me see who did the born on

dating there was a beer that did a born i think that was budweiser was it budweiser i would always check that before i you know opened it just to make sure well people don't realize that not only is miller light triple hops brewed which is unique in its own respect but it also has great taste and is less filling that's true wow that's a we it's a little piece of history right there. It would go really nicely behind Dylan's head. I got to tell you. We can put the empty back there.

I don't think you drink it. Shut up. What are you talking about? No, I think that... If Miller Lite reaches out at any point, I don't think I'm going to even entertain anything. Look at my space. I don't think I want to work with that. What's your number? I don't know if I have a number because I think this is more of going to even entertain anything. Look at my space. I don't think I want to work with them. What's your number?

I don't know if I have a number because I think this is more of a love of the gameplay. Like I've been, I've been tweeting about Miller Lite Vortex bottles for months now. People have been tagging them. People have been doing whatever. They have a really inactive Twitter account and I don't get the feeling that they need help selling a Miller Lite as it's one of the most popular beers in America. But I will say that like, if they even reached out,

I'd be like, I would be disingenuous for me to like not, or to get paid to do this. Like I need to, I need to spray this beer down my throat without the man hovering over my shoulder. You want to know what the beer brand sold the most uh beer in 2023 wasn't miller light but like so but the but dave the saying is go woke go broke yeah and that was the fast that was the most selling beer in 2023 they got gillis they got gillis on board and it changed things also i'm just saying miller light like if you want to change that stat that i just read that doesn't look kindly upon you maybe you reach out also kid rock put the ar down he's like all right enough enough's enough they get the point

and they started drinking but light again yeah he remembered he's like oh fuck i blew up my favorite beer and now i made it now i made it impossible to drink and that's all I want to do. Kid Rock had a beer for a while. Look at that thing, man. Just staring at us. It's exciting, dude. I kind of forgot how beautiful the light is when it goes through the molded glass. Sure.

It's beautiful. I'm seeing the Miller Lite's like 10th. I don't know what these rankings are based upon, but... You know, it's a really good way to sell more beer. It's almost like it's time to bring back the Vortex. You got the Spittoon. It's a volume play. Like, if they had a beer that sprayed down your throat and people were drinking them faster, they'd want more.

I still think it's an FDA reg. They put a stop to it. Well, I told you what the guy who one of the people on the development team someone reached out and said like I had a relative who was on the Miller Lite team that did the Vortex bottle and people would ask what the point of it is and you'd say

well what do you think it does and then they would say like oh I think it makes the liquid come out faster or they would say I don't think it does anything no matter what they said he would just say you're exactly right i personally think it sprays down your throat it's just like uh the rumor that back in like the late 70s early 80s the boston album the highly coveted new boston album the reason it was delayed is because the guitars people weren't ready for how hard the guitars were gonna go dude they turned it up to 11.

Yeah, that was a thing. You know what? Another thing about it, in promoting that, I bet they weren't allowed to say it comes out faster. Yeah. They could probably say it comes out smoother. Because it said on this bucket, it says specially designed grooves, and that's all it says about the Vortex. Yeah.

But think about your beer pouring method, Dylan. The one where you pour it somewhat aggressively to get all the carbonation, says about the vortex yeah but think about think about like your beer pouring method dylan the one where you pour it somewhat aggressively and to get all the carbonation or a lot of the carbonation out of it yeah you want to saw a nice little head on if there was a beer bottle that removed some of that carbonation without you having to pour it would that would that be of interest to you i don't know well oddsgill just pants beard this thing? Talk about a waste of a vortex, Bob. Is it?

Odgill pants beard. Is it? Has anyone ever pants beard a vortex? No. Because these two, this Venn diagram is very separated on the timeline. Nobody, look, Will, I don't mean this as an insult. I think more people would rather see you pants beard this thing than actually enjoy it through your mouth.

I have, no, I don't know. I think some mouth enjoyment of this thing wouldn't go unnoticed. People would notice. They'd be like, that's great. I'm happy for Will. He got to taste his dream. But I think I got to fly my buddy Todd in. Like I don't think it would be right for me to drink it without him.

I almost feel like I need to wait for another one to show up so I can drink one with him because the amount of Vortex bottles that he and I went through is just next level. How mad would you be if we odzed it and it ended up going back to me? I got to pants beer your Vortex bottle. I don't deny odds very often, but there's simply no way that I'm letting someone else pants beer my Vortex bottle. Omar's probably going to drink this next time he's in the office. Yeah, when Randy has one of his little kid togethers up here. I could see Brett accidentally drinking the Vortex bottle. And I'll say again, you guys have had more people over and drink more of the alcohol than

I ever have. If I were someone who had a bunch of people here and drank all the booze, I'd say that exact same thing. We're trying to do a little research. You have. You were one of the people. You were one of the people up here. We invited you. What's your problem?

That Vortex bottle is just making me feel some type of way. I need to get this off the table. I have a Dallas Mavericks 2011 championship Budweiser that's unopened. So about the same era. I've got some bottles of wine that were associated with some old Red Wings players who started getting into buying vineyards and stuff like that. And it's unfortunate that I'll never be able to drink them because they're long past when they'd be good. Really? They haven't been stored properly either uh in the one minute of

research i've done um i can't i can't find anything on why it was discontinued but again i've spent one minute looking so have you asked chat jipita i haven't would you rather what randy i just this is a great play for the twisters movie yeah they brought it back yeah that's a good call hey good job randy good contribution hey thank you dm dm uh daisy edgar jones i'll do actually i'll just do it would you rather have access to this drinkable vortex bottle or a properly stored crystal pepsi i've never had a crystal pepsi in my entire life well i think i was too young i don't think i was drinking soda at that age buddy it was the thing back in the day yeah like if you if you got your hands on it it was like the summer party

was gonna be popping 1992 to 1994 there's no way my parents were letting me drink crystal pepsi at that time you were wet you weren't going to bed, and if you did, you were going to wet your sleeping bag. It's like it's Pepsi, but it's clear. That's a movie. It's a fucking movie. That's a movie. I wasn't even alive. Why did they discontinue that?

Too many kids were pissing themselves at summer parties. I don't think that's what it was. That's what I heard. Staying up all. Me and my boys. That's what Dave heard. Dude, it was totally normal from what Dave heard. Everybody was doing it.

Me and my boy James Chandler, we were just fucking fucking pissed staying up playing like excite bike on nintendo me and clayton we were playing street fighter 2 turbo just pissing just pissing yep we would like go and like somebody fell asleep we'd be like let's put his hand in warm water we'd go to do it too late he already pissed himself uh he was stopping crystal pepsi or the original jolt cola formula you get to drink one they still have jolt cola i believe but i think they dialed back they had to do you hear about that no they had to because too many kids were pissing themselves the european mind couldn't comprehend it i i i had old jolt, like original recipe. I took a sip of it one time. I'm not kidding.

When I put it to my lips, it shocked me. Yeah, I get it. That's what it did. It's electrifying. It's electrifying. No, the jolt thing, the European mind couldn't comprehend it. The American bladder couldn't. Just pissed.

The European mind cannot comprehend Vortex bottles. They're like, like no give it to me room temperature with the widest mouth possible in a tiny little glass it's not too fast not about that life so how does that affect the poor that's that's the question we're gonna find out we're gonna find out just calm down man just relax what's your problem on your relax on your penis i'm not pouring it on my penis you pour half on your penis and drink the other half. Think about that.

I think I'd do it the other way, though. I think I'd take a huge chug and then finish it off. My finishing move is the pants beer. So is this going in the fridge after this to prepare for consumption? I don't really know what fridge it should live in. I have concerns that if it's not well protected, I might need to honestly put a lock on it. By the way, I have concerns about the structural integrity of the top shelf in our fridge there's a lot of beverages on it right now and i don't know how much more it can hold is it because we uh threw a happy hour and no one fucking showed up

yes and we got ghosted by the biggest office in our complex yeah that's why our biggest supplier of human capital just didn't show up hey it's cool's cool though. At least they RSVP'd after the party. I'm still so butthurt. I don't remember the last time I felt that butthurt over something. Hey, give them a break. It is a long journey over here from their office. It's 30 yards. If that.

I could throw an NFL-sized football over their office. I mean, there's a silver lining in everything. I guess that silver lining is that, one, we have a fully stocked fridge now, and two, that we spent pretty much the entire day cleaning our office, so now we have a clean office. But, you know, the emotional stain of having an entire office ghost your happy hour will live with me for a while. They had an issue.

Sure. All hands on deck, dude. We'll live with me for a while. They had an issue. Sure. All hands on deck, dude. Maybe they were holding out for that. If you told them now, you know... Hey, we got a vortex over here, buddy. Back then, they didn't want you. Now you're hot and they're all on you. Now you're hot now.

You got that. I can't wait to toss this in the group chat. What a find. Shit just changed for Will. It did. Man, shout out to Pussy Crusher. Dude. So now I have three total pieces

of Vortex bottle memorabilia. I've got the original bucket. Now we have an actual Vortex bottle and hanging outside of our bathroom in the studio is a bar sign. Will, I still haven't gotten the nightlight. Should I get the nightlight? Yeah, always get the nightlight should i get the nightlight yeah always get the nightlight where's the bar sign it's uh hanging in front of the room that is storing

all the internet equipment i kind of hate where that is we just put we solely put it there to get it off of a table that it was leaning up against we solely put it there just to to make it look like we had decorated is that equipment functional yeah it's like a little circuit board but like i've like i have internet in my in my place and i don't have a closet full of just wires and shit like that's because you got a circuit board it's like what what's going on yeah do we need to be worried about our energy bill with like all the circuit boards what is that is that the mainframe that people think i'm hacking wait is that the for the whole complex potentially no is it so that that's the main a lot of those wires is for all the telephone lines that can go to all the places, like if this was a call center.

It's a bundle. So that's why it's just a bunch of- You have to get it. The landline gets you a better deal. It looks like it's from 1989. It really does. Because it's all telephone stuff. Do you remember at Grand X we had in like one of,

I think it was in Joe's office, there was like a huge, huge server thing. And I was like, why do we have this? I've never understood why that's in our office. All our stuff is on, all our stuff is like. Like the, yeah, the spectrum guy came and hooked up our internet and we were fine. I don't think you need to go in that closet.

Dude, we're the complex hub. But do you remember this closet? It was like filled with like machinery. It looks like a fire hazard. That Joe's office closet or whatever it was, was like the biggest. You're like, I don't know if that's right. I remember that.

But like, did we actually have servers for what we were doing at Grand X? Because I don't understand. We were running on WordPress. Well, when Mike had started to go viral, we had to heist him down. I never really thought about the fact that we actually had servers. Were we doing numbers, numbers? No, we just needed a fucking laptop and an internet connection.

I mean, it wasn't high tech over there. We were just blogging. Really, what's going on? Those are just built into the things like ours. Like every single one of these like data point things we can connect to. Is it because it's an office? But do we use it? Yeah.

For what? Well, the majority of it we don't use. But like I use four of those outputs to go to the wall plugs in here. So they're just pre-wired. Everything like every single one of the data entry points is pre-wired to that closet. Okay. So, so. You don't know what he just said.

If there was a fire in just that corner of the office and that room burned up, could we still function tomorrow as a company? No, because that's where the router is. We'd have to go back to my couch. That's where the wifi is. People would like that, or Will's garage. I bet we can still find back to my couch that's where the wi-fi is people would like that or will's garage i'll bet we can still find internet in here if they went down no we can

find a way we ain't we ain't seen internet out this way in a long time so yes the internet comes in over there and we plug the router and the modem everything in there and that gives wi-fi and that's all you guys need to worry about. Let's say that room burns down. The authorities tell us you cannot operate as a business. You have to shut it down for a month, no internet for a month. Got your charter pulled. If you had no internet or phone for a month, and you were just going about your day,

you didn't wake up in the morning and grab your phone. You just knew it wasn't there. What would your mental state be after a month of that? It would be better, right? I month of that probably it would be better right i think objectively better it would be better should we do that although i feel like i'd also be a little anxious because i feel like i'd be missing so much you wouldn't have to like see emails from uh your kid's school being like your son drank too much crystal pepsi and peed everywhere. We can get you a desk phone. Okay. We need a landline.

That's fine. We don't need a landline. It's like a dollar extra a month. Let's get a landline. I think we pay for it. I think it's a bundle. Why don't we get a landline for cold call? That's way more entertaining than using Dave's phone.

Because Google Voice. Yeah, but if we had a landline, if we had a landline, we could just have backers call randomly to the office and we could just talk to them. That seems like a great idea now. I'd get a free landline from my apartment. It would be a lot of calls in the beginning, but it would dissipate eventually.

Ooh, we need a bathroom landline, like hotels. Oh, you just call your boys? My parents had one growing up, dude. Those are sick. It's so sick. The most baller thing my parents did growing up was have a phone right there. You call your buddy in the next room,

over here, I'm taking a shit right now. Dude, what are you doing? You know what I'm doing. Hey, man. Talk about our friends over at Pesty. We've all been there. I've been there recently, and it's not a good place to be. You're sitting in your bed, and all of a sudden you see a huge bug in your room.

I'm not the one to handle the bugs, Dylan. I'll tell you that much right now. Yeah, Pesty is. But now that we got Pesty, I got all the confidence in the world that it's going to get handled well. The other day, I was just sitting on the couch, had a bug jump on my chest.

Been a long time since a bug has jumped on my chest and it scared the living crap out of me. But luckily for me, I was like, oh my God, we got Pesty downstairs. I can just kill this one and know that I'm in better hands. And today's podcast is sponsored by PestE. It's the do-it-yourself pest control company on a mission to provide pro-grade pest control

products at an affordable price so you can say hello to savings and buy to bugs at a fraction of the cost of most pest control companies. With PestE, there's no more waiting all day for the bug guy to show up when you can spray it yourself in just a few minutes. Most of these companies charge hundreds of dollars, but Pestee makes customized treatment plans based on your location and the bugs and the climate, everything. They take it all into account. It's pretty cool. I've actually been using ours a lot. As you guys may have known, I started living in a house about six months ago. So now I'm taking on all this stuff.

And we've had some bugs. We got little kids around. They leave food around. We leave food on the counter because we're lazy. We're tired. Bugs have just been coming around. We got ants. It's not good. It's not the worst, but it's not good. Yeah, you got to nip that in the bud, man.

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Consultant. The sour ball. Candy makes you dandy. Okay, are you going to do that right now? Can we do it? Yeah. Question, though. How do you handle sour?

I don't know. I haven't had sour in a minute. Okay. Do you like sweet and sour chicken? Not well, it turns out. Does it? No, it doesn't correspond. I haven't had sour in a minute. Okay. Do you like sweet and sour chicken? Not well, it turns out. Does it? No, it doesn't correspond. How long did Will go?

Whole time. Ate the whole thing. Never took it out. Really? Yep. Barrett, less than two seconds. Dude, I lasted from the time I put it in my mouth to the time I walked over to the trash can to spit it out. What? About five to seven seconds. You're the most clippable member of the show.

Yeah, you're hella clippable today. Oh, put it in my mouth to spit it out? All right, but we're talking about candy. I know, but you should probably lead with the fact that you're eating sour candy. I put the sour candy in my mouth. I think you'll like that about me, that I say shit that's dumb and clippable. I mean, yeah, I really don't want Randy to clip that. All randy to clip that all right here we go 20 seconds ago at 39 40 randy is recording with his phone hey man no pressure what did you do a booger check you just

did a booger check like dave you've been on camera for like 40 minutes i know i blew my nose i was making sure the mustache was okay no bugs in this By the way, gray hairs are seeping into this. Yeah, Sally walked into me last night plucking my white hairs out of my beard. Why? Plucking? Because they're all coming in right here. And so I don't want them to all come in right there. To be honest, it's not very many.

You're going to look like Kenny Rogers. The gambler? The fucking gambler. That's great. All right, ready? Here it goes. Do you chew it right away or just no no nobody no it's hard candy keep it going it starts a little tame and then then it really ramps up and makes the saliva pretty much impossibly thick how are you doing dude his bottom lip is like sucky yeah

the way your bottom lip is like sucking it. The way your bottom lip is doing it. Why does he do that? Ain't no thing. It's pretty sour, huh? You sound like you're crushing it. Yeah. It's really, it's a juxtaposition between that and the Celsius. Okay.

This isn't bad at all. Wow. Yeah. I'm different. You're going to keep it in? They don't make them like me anymore. I at all. Wow. Yeah. I'm different. You're going to keep it in? They don't make them like me anymore. I'm different.

Okay. That's good. That's sour, right? Yeah. All right. Give me a little time. You want a trash can? Save it for later.

That wasn't bad at all. That really progressively worse dude it got worse as you keep it in yeah i thought like so for me when i did it it got really sour it was fine in the beginning then it got really overwhelmingly sour but i feel like my saliva got so thick that like it wasn't it wasn't like all on my tongue anymore i feel like it singed my taste buds and i felt it for the next like three or four hours. I swallowed a little bit saliva. My tum-tum hurts. Already? Yeah.

Instantly. Not good. Probably got an ulcer. Probably out. Three to five. Not good. You'll be fine. Yeah.

Oh my God. What is the name of that candy? Bartlett's? Barnett's. Mega sour fruit or something. See, i feel like the warhead had some kind of redeeming sweet there's a payoff yeah like when you bit the warhead it was very satisfying you ate that whole thing yeah you're a fucking savage you are a crazy man like a champ too man i don't get it i think i think us northerners are better at sour it's true we we got nothing

else going on explain that one we Explain that one. We are. The science is there. We just didn't experiment. All the Texans spit it out. All the Midwesterners are Northerners. Me, Brett, and Randy all kept it in. That is how it happened. Is it when you get to go outside like majority of the year?

Y'all just trying sour shit? Yeah. We just go to the movies and eat sour shit all winter long. Drinking Jolt and eating sour candy. Just hanging out in our bas the, we just go to the movies and eat sour shit all winter long. Drinking Jolt and eating sour candy. Just hang out in our basements. I don't like the, how the teeth feel.

Yeah. There's like a film or like a dry something. That's been the biggest deterrent from, I've kind of wanted one after and just to endure it and have something sweet

because it's actually a pretty good candy once you get done with the sour part. But I don't want my mouth to feel that way when it's done. That's why I took a hammer into it and just made a little shards. That's a good idea.

Hit me up next time, dude. We can share the shards. Sounds good. The middle has a fizz to it too. If you kept sucking on it, it has a fizziness to it. It's interesting. Can we talk frack consultant?

I'd love to. I knowandy loves it when uh mid-show i send him i already had it i'm a producer can someone explain to me what this guy's actually doing this is the alabama fraternity consultant he uh he seems to be i don't know a little older than us a lot older than us he's in his 50s i'm guessing and he shout out to former intern curry yes who sent this our way also congrats will from austin um classic dumb guy on twitter this guy is just giving out some rush tips if you are but he's running a business right yeah like you have to you can pay this guy to get frat tips fraternitycoaching.com is his website dude you should do this yeah you could be a competitor to this guy this is this is a grand x video idea from 2014 the only issue is that we wouldn't be able to find an old guy to do this i

don't know if you'll realize this. So sorority consulting. Jay would have crushed this. Sorority consulting is a very real industry. Yeah. Do y'all know this? Yes.

I've heard about that. And was that covered in like the Bama Rush documentary? I don't remember. I didn't watch the Bama Rush documentary. I didn't either. Everybody said it sucked.

Yeah. Yeah. Like to get set up for success and like rush, you know, get the sorority you want. It's like there's a whole consulting business around it because it's super competitive i guess much more so than fraternity

i think i've never seen a fraternity one yeah i think um that's because fraternity guys aren't dorking like most fraternity guys wouldn't be dorky enough to like take this on well you can hire him for a free 15 minute discovery discovery call. Please do one. Who wants to do it? I'm the least frat because I was not in one. So am I the one that needs to do it? Yeah. Oh, man. If we're going to do the consultancy, what do we get the most out of it with someone that's very frat who knows the ins and outs? He's been in the fraternity system since 1983. Do you think you'd take me seriously if I said that I was trying to rush a fraternity at the University of Texas? If you had your hat backward like you do during Patreon

episodes. He served as president, secretary, Russ chairman, and pledge class treasurer of his respective fraternity while participating heavily in regional and national fraternity conferences across the country. Can we click on just one of his videos to get a sense of this? Because he doesn't say much in the videos. It's very Davis Clark-y where he just says something quick and fast and just kind of... God, I'm so fed up. I'm going to do the one with his son.

How about resist all temptation? I bet he used to haze balls. Yeah, this guy was an absolute machine in the basement. Don't text the Rush chairman. Why don't you text the Rush chairman? Okay, we all need to be thankful for what moms and dads do to help get you through the Rush Program.

But moms? Oh, the moms. Don't text the Rush Chairman. Yeah. Please give my little Timmy a bid. Let's see if there's one with his son. Here we go. Yeah, you don't do that.

There's probably some moms who can text. Oh, it's just an image. He got his son a bed this uh this feels like a lot of work just to being a frat i feel like uh kind of just it should just happen naturally i really don't think you should have to pay consultants imagine being this dialed into the fraternity scene in your 50s that seems kind of sad to me yeah i bet this guy's making good money but here's the thing like i get the feeling this guy lives in tuscaloosa tuscaloosa is like what the biggest public company in alabama or sorry alabama university of alabama is the biggest public company in alabama or whatever i forget how it's phrased but like he probably sees a very good opportunity here i just don't know if it's going to work out because i think uh dudes that

want to be in frats uh fancy themselves to be too cool to hang out with a 55 year old dude who's teaching them how to be frat you'd have to be a total boner to use this guy's services i think getting a good sorority seems a lot more stressful than getting in a good fraternity for sure like it just getting in a good sorority sets you up socially for a long time whereas like most most fraternities like the range of of like coolness doesn't it you might say that it's a big range it's usually not that big it's like you show up to a party and if you're cool you get a bid like that it's that simple it's that simple but what if what if like you show up to that

party and people find out they're like your dad isn't the judge or your dad does not own a dealership it's true true how do what is this yeah what do you do if that's your you know you're coming from that life where it's like hey your dad isn't a man of power how am i supposed to get a bid does he cover that i bet he talks about like the clothing you wear to these parties and what's great is like none of this at alabama's changed since he was at school so he this actually works for him it's not like it's a a greek system where the uh the trends have evolved it's true probably pretty similar i think is it think he's a privy to the machine oh the machine machine you know about the machine right dude the machine. Ooh, the machine.

You know about the machine, right, Dave? The machine. I don't talk about it publicly. Okay. I was part of the Texas State machine. Really? Yep. But you're talking about it.

That's all I'll say. Yeah, you just, this is very public. Yeah. That's all I can say. Okay. Okay. We did a lot of stuff. I see that you followed him dave this guy yeah

yeah i mean look i it's part of my personal growth you can never stop learning like yeah i'm about to turn 40 but like what if i want to go back through what if i want to go get my masters at bama we should get one of his mugs. What's the mug say? Honestly, the logo needs some work. The logo stinks. Alabama Fraternity Consulting. Would be a real travesty if that arrived at our office for Dylan. I do not need that. Would be a real travesty if one of those was sent this way.

I don't know if that one's getting in the rotation. Can we talk Justin Timberlake? Yeah. Justin Timberlake did something that none of you should be doing. He drove drunk. He was in the Hamptons, though. Does that excuse it, David? Billy Joel did it.

Hamptons does have the vibe of a place where celebrities are like, you know what? I can probably, I can probably skip five. It feels lawless. Yeah. I've never been. I don't really care to go.

If it's the, I mean, I'm not even like the, the, the always question is like, why, why not just get a driver? You're JT.

Does JT have driver money these days? Yeah. Dude. Yeah. Yeah, buddy. I guess he brought a stadium, like a state literal stadium oh yeah texas everyone we know two nights in a row yeah it's a good point he did two nights good point

uh yes oh wow yeah uh well everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone dylan got duped by the poo crave uh i admit that it took me uh it took me a bit to figure it out i'm very pleased with how fast i recognized that it was poo crave and not pop crave but it just said justin timberlake allegedly had traces of molly poppers truvada and coke in the bloodstream following his dwi arrest in new york what shout out to all my truvada boys poppers are i mean i know what they are of course but some people at home might not know poppers are an inhalant that will give you temporary euphoria or uh enjoyment inhalant yeah what are you inhaling exactly the fumes i think of some sort of liquid it's typically a jalapeno you can wrap it in bacon normally to keep it all together be careful when you take

the first bite though because that that sour cream can go shoot now that's crazy he had jalapeno poppers in his bloodstream he was hammered coming home from uh getting his triple dipper so truvada that would actually make this a much better story truvada one of the things according to poo crave was in his bloodstream is an hiv medication see. See, I am very privileged in that. When I saw Truvada, my first thing was like, is that like a car insurance company? Like Carvana or whatever that is.

That was my first thought, and then I was like, oh, I should probably look this up. What if he was taking it for COVID? Truvada? It's also one of the hepatitis strain medication. Okay. Well, I guess none of it matters. He didn't actually have it.

Yeah, it got community noted, but this was after, like not only did people, like people were willingly admitted, just being like, yeah, I definitely thought this was real. I mean, 25,000 retweets. JT, what do you guys think of his mugshot? Was that, in terms of best case scenario versus worst case scenario, where does his mugshot fall? I didn't think it was bad at all. It's a of his mugshot was that in terms of best case scenario versus worst case scenario where does his mugshot i didn't think it was bad at all it's a good looking mugshot it could have been anything and it would have gotten memed into oblivion shout out to whoever did the

chicken nugs he's a handsome man oh the microwave png over it that was good the lighting was impeccable for that mugshot yeah his eyes were glassy as hell yeah he was drunk not that red what was his bac do we know that part i don't think they've actually released anything based the community note that i read earlier which they've changed this community note since we started recording uh it just said that they hadn't released anything about the like the details yeah they're not you're not going to get this information within 24 hours of the arrest which is like the funniest thing and and honestly when landry did we already say that landry got duped by it? Oh, did he? He's the one who sent it, and then he unsent it, and KJ had already responded to it.

I don't know. Wait, what happened? KJ unsent a text yesterday too. I can only imagine what that was. I know. I was like, oh, come on, KJ. Let's keep that thing in there. He was getting messy. Yeah.

If you guys got DUI and they took your blood work and it was a public thing uh what's what's the last thing you want in your system you gotta think you gotta think truvada's up there i want i want for me for me i don't want them to find like a single trace of fucking cream in my coffee that's true that's beta male shit dave that's a good point i didn't know they tested for that i didn't either this guy's yeah this guy's clean but he had some creamer and it's when i was 22 i got blood work done and you know it was a time in my life when you know someone gave me an adderall i'd take it at a party and uh i got my blood work done like two days later and i started being like oh my god they're gonna see that i was taking someone else's adderall am i gonna be in trouble for this i asked the the nurse when she came in to find that I was taking someone else's Adderall? Am I going to be in trouble for this?

I asked the nurse when she came in with my results. I was like, does this say anything about Adderall? And she goes, no, we don't test for that. Cool, I've been thinking about it for like three days. Panicking, you're going to arrest me for taking an Adderall. I would be embarrassed if it showed Freon that I had huffed at a house party when i went outside to smoke a cigarette noticed an air conditioning unit on the side that'd be real embarrassing that's a bad look for sure it's a bad look shout out to people who did that real sketch i need to

start training my eyes to go like to the handle and the bio of it of a account like this when i see like shocking news i got duped by a poo crave tweet a couple months ago and it was that trademark moment where i always knew that i could never look at a pop crave tweet again without knowing it was that and now that i don't follow either of them because i don't care about that kind of celebrity news all the time but like there's no way um i'm getting served pop crave more more than Pooh Crave at this point. Pooh Crave is the one. Okay.

Maybe I've seen it a bunch and it didn't register for me that I've been seeing it. I got got by Barry McCockiner a couple of times. A couple of times. He is playing you like a fiddle. Yeah. That guy is an absolute menace. You had a run where you got caught by him like three times in a week. Yeah, you weren't happy about that.

I'm squarely in his demographic. you were getting smoked by this guy he just owned me for a little bit so you guys seen this like dylan come on man it says barry mccalkiner b-a-r-r-y dylan's not saying anything inappropriate that's his name barry and the last name is mccalkiner not a real person not real normal stuff not real normal can we talk climate protesters what are they up to we love a good climate protest stop in traffic somewhere love a good climate protest uh just this morning uh stonehenge was uh spray painted by some by some amateur graffiti artists. That's fucking sorry, man. Andy, you can play the video.

What I don't get, out of all the things that you could desecrate in the name of the environment, why would you choose something made out of the environment? Why wouldn't you choose something? Good point. This is a natural. Yeah.

I will also say that I think Stonehenge is one of the least cool popular attractions of all time. You bet. No. I had the option of going when I was in fifth grade, and I wasn't that into it. And so we decided not to do it as a family. But, like, it's just rocks piled up. Yeah, but how? That person just sits down.

These people, man. No, dude, he's making a difference. But, like, why Stonehenge? Yeah, they're just, they didn't even have heart in it. Like, the second somebody tried to stop him, they, like like pretty much just stopped and sat down what's worse these people are the ones who sit down in traffic and stop like major thoroughfares so they can get their point across i think the people in traffic because you're trying to get your body caught i'm just trying to get someone could be looking at their phone innocently like you and just run them over and then suddenly they got a

manslaughter charge on their hands buddy they get run over yeah like it happens yeah like that like just those don't put up people's lives in danger for the environment we're doing that ourselves what if like they did it in the hamptons and timberlakes just rolling yo he's got his own music just blasting he's just popping hiv antivirus he's got poppers in the system he just smoked some dude like now he's got a he's gone on intoxication manslaughter. Wait, why don't you fuck with Stonehenge?

Look at it. Yeah, but the question is how? Right. I think people just lifted rocks. It's what, like a sundial or something?

I just figured it out. Like, if this is some kind of like Marvel, then like, then the pyramids need to be like glazed into oblivion. It's more mysterious than it is a Marvel. It's like, than the pyramids need to be like glazed into a belief.

It's more mysterious than it is a marvel. Is it that mysterious? Like there's just giant ass rocks in the ground. How'd they get that big shit up there? We learned about this shit

back in the day. Wait, where was your pyramid take? Mine? Did you say this? What did you say? I just said that the pyramids

are way cooler. If this is cool, the pyramids are way cooler if this is cool oh pyramids are like oh the coolest no one's gonna argue that there's levels on the pyramids yeah like this shit does not move the needle for me compared to the pyramids at this point and i glazed england all the time you think this is a lever and pulley situation i don't know like is it that impressive to get these giant ass rocks up there how tall are the rocks they look tall when are this supposedly going you know you can you can tell me how tall those are just by looking at them oh yeah that one right there is uh 12 feet tall right in front of us stonehenge is a

prehistoric megalithic structure in the salisbury plain in wiltshire england let's see 13 feet 13 feet tall 25 tons each standing stone 25 tons that's heavy do we have a year stonehenge one was around 3100 bc oh i mean that's back that's back okay they probably fucking trained dinosaurs to do it dude men were like four like four and a half feet tall back then too yeah they probably had fucking brontosaurus just pulling up rocks they probably picked them up with their mouths and just stacked them up and they're like all right don't move that one i think that was much much longer ago no it's for the dinosaurs dude it is i mean it's i think it's cool it's cool i'm not like oh man i gotta

get out there and see it but it's cool like if you showed up at stonehenge right now you'd be like okay i'd be like man so what are we doing for lunch like how'd they do this yeah we should go get lunch it's the middle of nowhere is there is there is there a city close to it yeah stonehenge yeah there's something there's a city close to everything in england that place is tiny it's like the size of rhode island no this is just outside of estonia i don't believe dave two very good jokes dave that have gone i appreciate i love it two very good jokes i can appreciate the joke without shout laughing. Good Estonia joke, David.

I need more shout laughing. I need Will running out of the room. Smiling like Mahomes' ex-wife. I think it lines up with the solstice. Is that her? No, I'm sorry. I'm thinking of Russ Wilson. It's the solstice point? I knew what you meant.

I'm pretty sure it lines up with the solstice like the sun does when it sets. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. That's kind of a cool part of it. That to me is... That's a cool part of it. Okay, good point, Randy.

Good point. What exactly do you mean by that? How does it line up? So like the sun will be like in the middle of those like archways. Yeah. So it used to be a circle. Okay.

And I'm pretty sure it's been... I'm pretty sure it's been vandalized in ways like numerous times. Like people have tried to fuck it up. Just someone out there with an F-250 just moving them around. Like there's no way those are legal. Out of all the cool shit, like we yam on Stonehenge in America for like dope ass shit you can go see. We got like the world's largest cherry pie up in northern Michigan you can pull over and go see.

That's way cooler than this. Snake farm. But nothing this old old it's a reptile house just sounds nasty you understand i do i mean we got the sphere for crying out loud whoa it's true they don't have a sphere london's getting a sphere though it's the epicenter i think so uh yeah i'm pretty sure that the same company is building or planning on building one in london what if i told you as many as 14 ley lines converge on the site you're probably gonna be like what the folks will lay line a ley line of course is a powerful channel of energy that connects places of ancient and uh primordial significance all across the country so does that answer your hypothetical question did i know what you just said no i'm just more confused now this dude doesn't even lay line what kind of lines do you do not touching that one don't do lines i support stonehenge

okay yeah they've supported stonehenge i do think it's funny to uh that i bet there's not an f-250 in england do you power wash it off they can't comprehend that i was thinking the same thing there is no way with truck nuts and they come here and there's just some dude who lives uh in an apartment downtown sells insurance he's from uh fucking katie texas he's got extended cab lifted he went to a school with 900 people in his graduating class. He's got a special parking spot at his apartment complex because it won't fit in the garage. He parks diagonal across like three spots. He rolls coal at the farmer's market just to fuck with everybody.

Yeah. The biggest cars in England are like Mercedes Astro vans to like transport people those are sick other than that they just don't have anything i wonder how many f-250s are in europe i can see them having regulations to the point where you're not even allowed to have one same and the streets are not big enough at least 90 of people in austin that drive pickup trucks do not deserve a pickup truck. At least 90%. It drives me insane. I thought about getting one.

Have you seen it? I thought about getting one. If that tells you anything, I've thought about it. You know how dope it is to be able to toss your clubs over the thing? Have you seen the videos of people who are demonstrating? It feels good. It does. People who are demonstrating their Cybertrucks being trucks.

Yes. There's a guy who's like he was just getting dunked on so hard he had a he i guess he worked or lived on a like a farm or something and he was like check out my cyber truck how i use it at my farm and he was just unloading like topsoil bags from the from the back of his truck dude like okay like a honda civic they're not that nice of trucks off road like you can't do much with them off road no the one that got stuck in the river was hilarious you just can't own a cyber truck without immediately having every single person think you're a douche and there was the guy who had to get rid of his cyber truck

because he towed a lot and he his range went from like 350 whatever to like 60 miles because he couldn't tow did you guys i mean that guy went viral last week for the charger getting stuck in there and they had a rip cord to get the charger out of the thing it's like a rip cord and the accelerator was getting stuck remember that why did he put his toe on the accelerator like that that was creepy i think he was doing no feet pics, but still wanted to do it. Having Houdini by Eminem on in the car while you're doing the video? Relax. Bro, let's go out this weekend.

There's a crazy event happening. I like to turn up. Bro, bro, bro. There's a crazy event happening. Let's just go have fun and let go a little. Let's go. Have fun. I'm going to go with it.

Let's go. This weekend in fun. Presented by our friends at Lucy. We love Lucy. I have a Lucy right now. I mentioned previously I graduated from the 4 milligram to the 8. I like the breaker. He doubled up, dude.

Apple ice is my flavor. Look, just to get you kind of dialed in, pick you up mood a little bit catch me with a mango in my mouth mango mango lucy i was gonna say like we're doing a it's a lucy read dave not right no we're not doing an ad read for mango fruit they have your traditional pouches they have the breakers like i mentioned a little flavor capsule inside that you bite down on to release that flavor or the gum which i which I know Brett and Dave are big fans of. Oh, yeah. Of course, it is 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco-free. They come in 2, 4, 8, and 12 milligram.

So it's a little something for everybody. The gum packs a little punch. I like the gum. Yeah. Oh, yeah. My favorite, of course, is the breaker. I feel like the idea behind gum, people are always like, oh, it's probably a little punch i like the gum yeah like oh yeah my favorite of course is the breaker i feel like the idea behind gum people are like oh it's probably it's probably a little more tame no no i like it i've always been a big gum guy and uh you know me i was i just i eased into it with the gum and now you know what i'll toss in a breaker every now and then my

favorite time to take a breaker i think is after is after lunch. You're kind of feeling a little sluggish. Just gets you right back in the game. I absolutely love these things. Let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to lucy.co slash steam and use promo code steam to get 20% off your first order. Lucy offers free shipping and has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind. That's lucy.co and use STEAM to get 20% off. And always free shipping.

And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. What are you doing this weekend, Dylan? Thanks for asking will gonna be hanging with uh chelsea friday we are going out with uh some of her friends that i haven't met yet we're gonna catch some live music you're gonna turn into a comedian maybe who are you seeing dude

i don't know one of their one of this couple that they have a friend who's performing i don't see you gotta pretend like you like it i might actually wow that's really good i might actually like it bro did you write that so that's my friday saturday heading out to uh burnett texas you've never burned in your life to pick up parks from camp longhorn wow get him early saturday morning and that'll be fun i i miss him like crazy i get to see how much fun he had he's gonna how are you picking him up probably like this you should get like a chopper and chopper it take your cyber truck rent a cyber truck and pick him up in it i likely will just drive the car that

i that i already have you're so boring yeah and we're going to take them out to get a burger. There's apparently a really good burger place in the area that we're going to go to. And then – When you all get home, are you all going to watch like 38 minutes of a movie? Maybe. Maybe with some popcorn. Is it the Trailblazer Grill? Is it Bill's Burgers Wings and Things?

I don't know. Or is it Mama's Home Cooking? I don't know. I don't know. We is it Mama's Home Cooking? I don't know. I don't know. We'll find out. All those places do sound pretty good. They sound pretty dope. Yeah, none of the burgers look exceedingly bomb, though.

Bill's? Bill's has the highest rating. And from the eye test alone, I think Bill's Burgers Wings and Things need to know what the things are. You need to know what the things, Scott. Hey, Bill. I'm going to report back. Show us your things. I'm going to report back. Yeah, so that's why. I'm'm gonna do some research while you're talking about your weekend on the things that's

my saturday and then the rest of the weekend um he's gonna chill with parks catch up with him see how his his camp stay went probably go swimming because that's what he wants to do all the time and then yeah just gonna vibe with the little man i think he just got fucking heaved on that blob dude yeah i want to hear all about the blob he's a little fucker too he probably flies yeah can you imagine no i wonder if they had the boys out in the little boat with the paintball guns probably not i've never done a blob y'all done a blob before nope it looks so freaking cool nope yeah if if they had a blob. Y'all done a blob before? Nope. It looks so freaking cool. Nope. Yeah.

If they had a blob at the camp that my parents were trying to send me to, I would have absolutely done it. What's it cost to just acquire a blob and keep it at your lake house? Probably not that much. Bounce houses right now are pretty inexpensive. I know it's different, but- It's just a big sack of air. Yeah, exactly. Very big sack of air.

Anyway, that's my weekend. I typically order the blob at Mattel Ranchos or Mattel Ranchos. He's the president. Mattel Ranchos. Mattel Ranchos. Mattel Ranchos. Mattel Ranchos. You're asking me about my weekend.

Yeah, that's all I got. Large Bob. Mattel Ranchos. What are we going to do? I love Mexican people. The best taco bowl was at Trump Tower. metal ranchos oh what are we gonna do i love mexican people the best taco bowl was at trump tower uh it did look fire to be to be fair it really did um you know there's a there's a golf invite out there i gotta got to see about it. But other than that, it's going to be lay low. Had a big weekend last weekend, came out of it, not feeling great. Now the baby's not feeling

great. We've got a real big weekend the weekend after next or after this one, right? We were going to be in Chicago. So I'd like to go into that one. I was thinking about doing like a cleanse, not a cleanse, but just maybe like not drinking until Chicago. I don't know. We'll see if I can do that. I would applaud. I would applaud you if you completed that, but it also sets you up to absolutely like crave a drink the second you get to Chicago. Yeah. Be the guy like doing it on the plane. We get in at like 11. Just completely burn out before we like doing it on the plane. We get in at like 11. Just completely burn out before we even check into the hotel.

I could see Randy doing a drink on the plane. Yeah. Don't shake your head dismissively like that. You do drugs to host your podcast. Okay. Early bird. Use promo code or something. Damn, I had to think about that,

but he's absolutely right. I'm a fan of Randy taking an early bird use promo code or something damn i had to think about that but he's absolutely right i'm a fan of randy taking an early bird before doing a game show podcast it helped it stops him from counting as fast as he would have normally for scores randy could you piss clean right now if you pissed in a cup could you piss clean no dude we i got a i got a sunday confession on the scariest newsletter the other day that was someone that's – they love smoking weed and they haven't done it for a year because they're applying for jobs. I'm like, dude, just smoke weed. Like are people still drug testing at that – like unless he's doing some specific industry where they always drug test. How long does it stay in your system?

Because maybe – A while. I think it's longer than – It's a long time. Like two weeks? I think it's tough to get it out of your system in two weeks. I think it's about a month. You have to drink piss.

I know someone who got a job interview that definitely drug tested, and they had about a week to get their system clean. Or Joke Cola will do it too. I remember telling you about the friend I had that tried to detox himself before a drug test. He had smoked weed, and he hadn't in a long time, and he was about to do a drug test he like had smoked weed and uh he hadn't in a long time and he was about to do a drug test so he went to gnc to try to get some detox things and they he told the guy the guy was like oh now that you're telling me that's the reason why i can't legally sell you

this stuff but you can go down to greenfields which is like the hippie store and all this stuff every mall has one of these right and like they just brought out a binder and they said all right you need this this and this and like gave him like a bunch of tinctures and he passed his drug test there you go sick there's a damage on that i don't know but it's just hilarious i would never just just from a like just from this is a blanket statement i don't think i could ever work for a company that would not hire someone because they smoked weed yeah like that is the narpiest shit i've ever seen it is like come on i bet you a lot of companies have cooled it on that policy you think the company that built stonehenge drug tested there's no way right no can you drug test dinosaurs yeah did dinosaurs exist

great question here we go some people are willing to have that conversation um how long is uh tamura or whatever tia and tomorrow what was the the timber lake the poo crave drug how long does that stay in your system yeah i don't know how long does carvana stay in your system that's a question i don't know about that either Yeah you know I'm going to be I'm going to enjoy this weekend There's a signature event happening Is it the Traveler? What is the golf tournament?

There's something happening I don't fucking know Yeah I can tell you're just fired up For this golf tournament Yeah I don't know Sports is dead to me Although we do have a series The Oil Men did it

We're going back to Edmonton. You know what that means? More hockey. What about you, Will? Why is that still going on? Wrap it up. Your boy doesn't have too much going on. Actually, that's a lie.

I've got a lot going on. Headed to Scottsdale, Arizona tomorrow to do some content and just film some stuff. Headed back Friday morning. I will probably not be leaving the property of the hotel in Scottsdale, and I'll probably just be eating at the hotel bar and hanging out and going to bed early and trying to get some sleep once it's all said and done. And then from there, doing absolutely nothing all weekend, and I can't wait. You ever heard that before, Dylan?

Euros are firing right now. So we got morning soccer. I'm actually going out to dinner on Saturday night with some people that I met at the Grateful Dead show. Or sorry, the Dead & Company show at the Sphere. Sally knew some of them before just through like friends of friends and stuff like that. But doing that. Kind of excited. And just hanging out.

Getting kid time in before we head out to town next weekend for the big show. Welcome to the big show. Well, it's the big show. You wouldn't know about that, dude. You're not a wrestling head. You don't know about the big show. I could pick him out. I know who he is. He's the biggest show in town he's a big fella he could have done stone inch by himself uh with the proper rope and pulley system yeah okay okay okay very cool don't i don't know what david dope don't

I don't know what David you looked over like I was looking at something of importance Dave's got some propaganda on his timeline did you guys see the guy

who hacked North Korea's internet their little closet a dude hacked in to North Korea's internet and shut it down only one person

uses the internet over there I think no they have an internet and it's a very it's not the internet if they read tfm it's not the internet like they limited access i think so yeah and so he did like an ama on reddit and people were like i mean he's very public about this because he's like i want to do it again but people are like did you see what their internet looks like and he said no next time i do it's my main goal, is to figure out what the internet looks like so I can show people. Can they access the hub over there?

Pornhub? You can't do it in Texas, I've heard. Find a way? I wouldn't know. Real beaters know. Yeah, you can't. Oh. VPN?

Incognito? Like, what do you do? You don't have to tell us how you access porn how brandy it's okay i think more states are doing it too oh yeah a lot of states a lot of states uh do you remember that we would look at the map and you would see tfm somebody in your career was reading tfm yeah i do remember that just Just like, okay. Oh, yeah. Cool. That was weird. Especially when we were doing the Otto Warmbier story. Oh. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That was the worst story, man. Yeah, but. Poor kid. Credit to TFM. I think TFM covered it in a very nice way. We did, yeah. We were pretty much the, we were awareness raising.

We were the number one source for Otto Warmbier. It was J-Bone, right? It was J-Bone. And I think J-Bone wanted to do beer. It was J-Bone, right? It was J-Bone. I think J-Bone wanted to do it because I think J-Bone knew he could cover it in a way that was not going to be distasteful or anything. That was depressing as hell. Unlike Tales of the Night Pooper. Yeah. J-Bone really brought it on PGP.

Man, when you saw a couple of installments of the Night Pooper come through, that was just an instant edit. Yeah, we were feasting. Randy's laughing because that probably really got Randy, turned him into a J-Bone head. No, I never really read them. A Bozo Bozo. Let's get out of here. Bye. Outro Music