Circling Back - Will Gets Snubbed, Waterboarding, And OJ Simpson

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

Controversy has taken over the podcast as questions arise over whether or not Will was invited to Randy’s birthday party. After trudging through the details of that, we dive into a Vermont hazing scandal and talk about how we’re now sending signals of our location to aliens. To round things out, we discuss a video of OJ Simpson waking up in a bed surrounded by coeds. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:30) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (35:17) Vermont Rugby Hazing (43:30) We’re Trying To Talk To Aliens (54:10) OJ Worst Weekend Video Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) Truebill: www.truebill.com/circling Keeps: www.keeps.com/steam (First Month FREE) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast coming to you live from the Lodge. Presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin c and superfruit acerola my name is will defries to my left david the marvel movie monger rough yeah i guess i am thank you for knowing that i'm gonna start this podcast off with a question it's been going around twitter a meme of. You are now cursed with the job the main character has in the last movie slash TV show

you watched. What's your new profession? Will. My new profession would be being the founder and CEO of a little company you've heard of before called WeWork. I can't do an Adam Newman impression. That's interesting.

Yeah. I actually like Adam Newman because he started a company similar to mine yeah like we don't actually have anything and we just like spent a lot of money well i'm the founder and ceo of a little company called theranos uh why did this change my name is elizabeth holmes you were getting better at doing it and now you're worse at it. You've completely, you let us in your head. Yeah, stone house.

We just needed one drop of blood. Yeah. We're in, we're in Walgreens. The technology's not there yet, but we'll get it there. We're currently valued at $9 billion. Hang on,

let me punch myself in the stomach. I think I got to go to, right? Elizabeth Holmes. Hey, what's going on guys? Oh, are you Elizabeth Holmes too?

We're going to revolutionize healthcare as you know it. I haven't watched the show. It's a giant leap forward? I know she gets a lot of shit for changing her voice, but I'm still of the thinking that maybe she just didn't and her voice just changed. Maybe she just started smoking cigs more. She was probably stressed.

That's not what happens when you smoke cigs. Look at Dylan. Yeah, Dylan sounds fine. Your voice gets raspy and shit. Dylan, do you- You don't start talking like a dumbass. Have you taken to this impersonation because there was a time when you started podcasting and- Podcasting.

You changed your voice. No. This is my normal speaking voice. Because early on, a lot of people said you dropped your voice down a few octaves. Are you trying to say that's what Elizabeth Holmes did? I would never do that. I started Theranos.

Theranos. See, it's changed in minutes. Yeah. Okay, so it's a couple drops of blood. Not one. I drank your blood. She's not a vampire. As far as I know,

I haven't watched it again. That's the milkshake line. Dave, I know that you're milkshake line dave i know i know that you're watching you're just like gobbling up marvel cop like marvel universe things like i'm glugging it what do we need to do to get you in on watching these these uh mini series about founders dude i'm i'm going through more honestly this marvel thing is like the most impressive thing i've ever done i'm burning through these movies like every this Marvel thing is like the most impressive thing I've ever done. I'm burning through these movies.

You created a human baby. Like, what are you talking about? Anybody can do that. Not wrong. That's true. I tell Randy, like, I'm like, hey, man, I finished Black Widow. He's like, you're already Black Widow? Like, he's like shocked at how, at the pace I'm going. What I don't understand about, you could have done this during, I don't know, maybe a time when we were locked in our houses for months on end.

But instead, you decided that you were going to do it once things actually started getting beautiful outside and really fun. Well, I'm not doing it. I'm not watching these during the day. Typically, I watch them during the week on nights when the Mavs are not playing. Okay. So I need something to do. My Xbox team is kind of disbanded temporarily dylan for good probably um so i've got to find something to pass the time and next on the list

ant-man and wasp you know i had to put the tulia away david the chopper it was singing too much had to put it away you're referring to your xbox or your playstation put the chopper down why it was singing too much it was hot so when did dylan start playing less when my body count was i don't know crazy when he started when he moved in with a certain somebody did he stop playing as much dave was he less active in the group text that i'm not in yeah yeah absolutely um yeah bae saw me in a headset actually i think dave was was on the mic with me when it happened. She saw me in a headset, and she's never looked at me the same sense. Does that bother you?

I think she's lost some attraction to me, which I totally understand. What in the real you, though? Why does that bother you? I mean, my goal when I picked up the sticks was that no one would ever see me with a headset on. And eventually, people did. I mean, I played here at the office. Y'all saw me. We often wore headsets here.

Even twitched a couple times. We used to. I heard Bates said that you play too much. But someone who presumably has a sexual attraction to me, the last thing I wanted was for that person to see me with a headset on. Yeah, but once you get married, that all goes away. Talking to other dorks on the internet. Yeah, she's going to see you poo-poo.

Like Dave. Dave was one of the dorks I'm referring to. You ever pooped with the door open? But listen, I was putting fools down with the choppa. He asked a question. I doubled down on the question. The choppa was just absolutely going. Have you ever pooped with the door open?

Ever? Of course. Since you moved into your new place. Yeah, but she wasn't home. Isn't that the best when you just go home, no kids, no wife, just leave that door open? Yeah, just poop with the door open so elizabeth holmes at home at home there's like no there's nothing that sally could walk in on me doing at this point where i'd feel embarrassment at all masturbation no i'd be like well i mean hey what

what am i supposed to do if she walked in on you cranking you wouldn't be embarrassed i mean i might like you know shuffle in like sprint away with my pants around my ankles but like i don't it'd be like you know what hey sometimes you gotta do you gotta do you know, shuffle in, like sprint away with my pants around my ankles. But like, I don't, it'd be like, you know what? Hey, sometimes you got to do what you got to do. You know? I mean, it is what it is. It's natural. What if you got home and you found a warm apple pie sitting in the kitchen?

And let's say you just got into that thing, started eating it. What are you doing? Like piece by piece? Yes. Yeah. I'm asking a question. I mean, if she just walks over yeah so i get exactly what you're saying dave like i eat all of the apple pie i looked at bay that night i said

if you don't love me at my dorkiest you don't deserve me at my best and i think she learned to accept that about me but and then you put away your playstation for good yeah and then you stop playing like all together well she's leaving town on thursday so so should we instead of going to instead of us squatting up to hang out with you, I think we should all just play video games separately from our places. We need to do the old... That sounds kind of sick.

The college dorm Halo where everybody like syncs up remote. What's it? Remote. Why hasn't Halo like... Why hasn't Halo just released like the old version on like everything and made it free online? Because we would all just end up playing that constantly.

I don't remember this song. I never really get into Halo. Truth be told. You guys play Halo? That was like Sunday mass. Yeah. But instead I was just in my boy's basement. Getting sick with it. I'm a warthog

This guy played Halo Dylan you know I chose the name Hambone every time You're cursed with the job Of the main character Of the last TV show or movie you watched Is it Elizabeth Holmes? I'm the CEO of Theranos So you watched that last night and then you went to bed

You didn't watch anything else last night. Actually, I actually did watch the WeWork documentary, not documentary, show. It bums me out that you guys aren't as into it as I am. Which one do I need to watch first? I need to finish episode two. I fell asleep. I don't know, Dave. I like them both for different reasons.

I've had some people reach out saying that it's difficult to watch both of them at once because you start confusing what's going on. The dropout's better. Which one's that? Elizabeth Hoomes. Okay. saying that it's difficult to watch both of them at once because you start confusing what's going on the dropouts better uh i think that elizabeth hoomes okay i think when it's all said and done i think i will have liked the dropout better i've i've it's good it's surprising me how much i've liked it she's hilarious and the uh the execs from walgreens are like sneaky really funny part of the show too yeah i think if you're gonna go in i think i think the dropout on hulu i think that gets my nod over we crashed on apple tv plus time out is adam newman one uh that's not a doc that's a no this is with that is with ann hathaway and jared leto and jared leto absolutely nails it i know he gets criticized for you know things that he maybe should get

criticized for but he does a very good job in this role what does he gets criticized for you know things that he maybe should get criticized for but he does a very good job in this role what does he get criticized for making terrible music i think he's a kind of a scumbag when it comes to uh ladies oh really yeah i think he's also a tiny man i think he's just a d-head to people yeah generally speaking he's just on a wave that i just don't see myself getting uh yeah he was with elon and rogan at uh uchiko that's true i think that really did happen elon just became the um the largest shareholder of twitter nine percent right 9.2 that's correct david 9.2 that's a number you're fond of what what i don't get it you're always saying

what am i what am i always saying i i want to laugh with you but i i'm a little lost who you doing okay i'm gonna watch the show just so i could work up a work on your elizabeth holmes impersonation it's fun to do Elizabeth Holmes impersonation. It's fun to do. She studied Therianese? It's a combination of therapy and diagnosis. So that prompt that I just kicked the pot off with,

if I were to see that, like someone just RT'd it, I'd be like, oh God, who's actually participating in that? And then I like, inevitably a day later, I'll see like an account that I think is really good. They're doing it. And I'm like, oh, maybe I should be doing it. i don't know how many of those prompts i should be doing what

do you think about twitter prompts will go ahead yeah share your thoughts bitch i don't know what account that was from david i don't either did you intro dylan dylan shivery dillian shivery so i'm officially less than one month away from my nuptials, my wedding, wedding day. Your tight nups. And guess what? The nerves are starting to uptick. Why? Is it because you're realizing that like your passions in life are just bleeding away?

No. No, I'm just nervous. Damn, dude. I'm nervous about like- Can't even play Xbox anymore. I'm nervous about a hundred of my friends and family just staring at me while i'm sharing my vowels with my beloved the only thing i was worried about when i got married but the only thing i was worried of was for not not being able to recite the uh whatever back you're telling me you're you're worried about saying a name other than sally's

no no i wasn't worried about saying a name i was just worried that like you know how they take you through like on this day blah blah like i was worried that in that short moment of time i was going to forget yeah it was tough it's like what can you repeat that it scared me and that's what i was most nervous about and once i got through that i was like all right i'll just don't pass out at this point our officiant came he was way more subdued in the practice runs and when he got up there and projected like he did and with like the acoustics it was jarring you were there right were you there for that yeah i attended your wedding david he he was he went above and beyond he went a little too high from my length i was

close by you probably heard him yeah david and elissa this guy Then that bird came through That bird was like damn Did you hear about with that hawk I wonder if I can get Elizabeth Holmes to officiate my wedding Isn't she in prison Did she get sentenced I don't know Watch this show dumb dumb

I know that there's been new stuff happening around her trial But I haven't really been paying attention I believe she's pregnant currently With Sonny's baby no some other jabroni sunny all right uh we got some new reviews in the hopper that's sunny to the tune of zombie yeah why and on this note on this note we got a a uh a review on wednesday dylan it's in your blood it says it's five stars it says dillion dude hey dillion i know that's says, it's five stars. It says, Dillion, dude. Hey, Dillion. I know that's not how it's spelled and I don't care.

Oh, that old. Bad boy. We got an old tough guy alert. Why don't you drop a pin, bitch? Jim J 47 goes on to note, you have literally never sang hummed DD dude a single song correct ever. What are you talking about? Please stop. Your singing is much better than the rest of the BS.

Yeah. Wait, what? Your singing is much better than the rest of the bs and it still isn't good love the pod and will never stop listening unless i die is he saying that my singing is the best part of of my podcasting and yet it is still terrible yeah i believe that was an insult pretty rude but he gave us five stars that's a very very poignant do you want five stars you can say literally whatever the hell you want would you like a a chaser? Oh, no. Yeah. Okay, here's a chaser.

It says, Da Boys. Five stars. That's us. Dylan's laugh brings me so much joy. That's all I have to say. Oh, come on. We also have a review from BucksFan74. He left a review.

Oh, tough hell yesterday. It says, Andy Felterbush. Okay. It says, great bits and ironic douche humor from great guys and one guy who is secretly a douche. Is that me? I don't know. Wait, what is the,

who are the other two guys? Douches. It says some great guys and one guy who is secretly a douche. Oh, I thought he called us all douche. Who's the secret douche? Probably me. I think we all think,

I think all of us think we're the secret douche because none of us want to be the outright douche. I'll be the secret douche. I don't care. I'll be the douche. Someone called me douchey

like eight years ago and I was like, oh, I am a little douchey. I get it. We're all a little douche. I'll be the secret douche. I don't care. I'll be the douche. Someone called me douchey like eight years ago and I was like, oh, I'm a little douchey. I get it. We're all a little douchey. It's hard to exist in this space and not be a douche in some capacity.

If you have 0% douchiness to you, you're just a nerd. Yeah, you're not fun to hang out with if you're 0% douche. Look at the lame-o. You need to have a good douche-to-chill ratio. It's kind of like

when the ancient one drew her powers from the dark side. Dude, I've said that. And she didn't tell anybody. That's how I draw my douchiness. What is this from? Some Marvel shit?

Of course. Of course, she may still exist in the astral plane. As Randy is aware. Will's a big fan of Astral Glide glide dr strange took me like seven days to get through fucking a i'm not a big fan of astro world stop the show yeah come on our final review is from angry consumer man he said listeners beware five stars oh absolutely hilarious podcast i listen to every show and subscribe to the patreon you should too too. While 99% of the show is laugh out loud funny, I wouldn't recommend listening on your commute

because roughly once per episode, one of them does make a joke so bad that I want to swerve into oncoming traffic. Highly recommend. So it's so bad he considers killing himself for a brief moment. Well, he's angry consumer man, so he might have some other stuff. That's been a pretty bad joke.

Probably one of mine. It's okay. Yeah, it's probably is. Uh, tomorrow we're doing worst of, if you want to email us your worst of stories for Patreon, email worst of at washmedia.com or head over to washmedia.com and click on the little worst of logo. And there's a form that you can submit right there.

We have some stories in the hopper, but I want to get a bunch so we can just do these off the cuff whenever we want to. Also, 888-618-4422. That is how you leave a voicemail. 888-618-4422. And like, as always, rate and review five stars only. It's time to recap this weekend in fun.

Can I give a note on the voicemails? You can. So when I get an email that says we have a voicemail, it'll give us a loose transcript. If it's 500 words, if I know it's going to be like a two-minute voicemail, I'm not going to listen to it. So keep it under a minute. I'll say 30 seconds is tough. Try to keep it under a minute. Yeah.

You don't have to add 20 seconds at the end where you answer the question you're asking. If you want to talk that much, get yourself your own podcast. Chill, dog. You know what I'm saying? We're going to have zero calls. What are you doing? question you're asking you want to talk that much get yourself your own podcast chill dog you know what i'm saying we're gonna have zero calls what are you doing see i took it here you took it yeah do your own show we were doing good cop bad cop you just went double down on the bad cops i just wanted the folks at home like chill i want to get the folks at home in the best position to get their voicemails played like this is this is our show. I'm not paying attention that Crystal content

gets played like every week. Do a platform, bitch. Just leave dope-ass voicemails, dog. All right. Well, I mean, we just absolutely blew our load with the welcome to Wilmont's theme for recapping this weekend

at fun presented by Liquid IV. Did I drink Liquid IV this weekend? Yes, I did. Twice. And guess what? I enjoyed it both times. Good, man. I mean, it's the stuff's the best. It's the best. It's the best. Whether you're traveling, whether you're just trying to get more hydrated in your everyday routine,

you need to get some liquid IV in the mix. It'll help jumpstart your day, clear your head, give you energy. When you push your body too hard or just feel run down, it's extremely important to stay hydrated. And making hydration a priority helps us all feel better on a day-to-day basis. And one stick of liquid IVs, hydration multiplier and 16 ounces of water hydrates faster and more efficiently than water alone. It comes in refreshing flavors like watermelon, lemon, lime, strawberry, pina colada, and more. When you guys are packing for a trip, there's obviously the must pack stuff a swimsuit underwear things like that if you think i'm not absolutely loading my dop kit with just like a huge thing of

of liquid iv you're insane we left that what are you doing about my dop kit is about 25 percent liquid iv no when i travel i i pack a stick per day at least. At least. Sometimes I'll do two sticks per day because I'm a bad boy and I like to get into one on a vacation. But once one person sees you drinking one, they're like, hey, can I get one of those? And you're like, yeah, that's why I brought a whole pack. Well, that's a mistake I made on the bachelor party. I offered out some liquid IV and I had way too many takers.

I was left with like three. See, I had a whole pack with me and only Micah and I drank them. And so I had like, I had leftovers. If I know I'm going to get into one that night, I'll drink one preemptively and then I'll wake up and drink another one. And I'm just like mega hydrated. I also keep them in my golf bag. Yeah.

Got a couple there just in case. Oh, I have some of my golf bag that have like been there forever, but I just have one around in my, cause like these days with COVID and stuff, there's just not as many water things around. That's correct. Glaring lack of jugs. Yep. Need more jugs. Liquid IV, it's effective. It's got the cellular transport technology designed to enhance rapid absorption of water and other key ingredients into the bloodstream. Just go get some. Grab a Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 25%

off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code circling back at checkout. That's 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code CIRCLINGBACK at checkout. That's 25% off anything you order when you use promo code CIRCLINGBACK at liquidiv.com. Experience better hydration today at liquidiv.com. Promo code CIRCLINGBACK. Dylan, what did you do this weekend? Wow, thank you for asking me, Will. I had quite a lovely weekend. So Friday night, we started a little family tradition with the kids that the night before their birthday we take them to uh dirty martin's aka dirties on guadalupe drag campus area

uh we just get we get twisted on cheeseburgers and milkshakes and shit the kids love it um little bay's birthday was saturday so friday did that. Saturday, birthday party at the crib, man. Bounce house. Almost pretty much ran back the same party we had for Parks a couple months ago. Bounce house. You know, kids running around just destroying our house. It was a lot of fun. Adult babies were being passed around.

The DeFreeses and the roughs came by different times y'all didn't overlap however no i don't know how we didn't overlap because i was there for like two hours tough sketch for us with the roads man you guys showed up and that meant a lot we really appreciated that uh what was ordering food from dirty martin well i just i'd never heard of this place so i wanted to go check it out. Oh, really? Yeah. It is an Austin staple for locals. You wouldn't know much about it. No, but really, it's a famous greasy spoon, if you will, on campus. Oh, greasy spoons.

Yeah, yeah. They took my fake. They have Shiner on draft, which I got one of, and just burgers and tater tots and fries, milkshakes, that kind of thing. So just to recap, you had a burger and a beer? I did. Double cheeseburger. Ooh.

Yeah. What's their bun? Traditional or did they go brioche? Or did they even go sourdough? A melt maybe? It's pretty tradition there. Dude, David, I like how you're on your patty melt grind lately. I like it.

It's in danger of getting flattened. So if you want to save Dirty's, there's a campaign for it. You know what? Low insurance fraud? I'm already saving a couple other Austin establishments. I've never heard of Dirty's until now. I'm good. Yeah, it's always so good.

Dude, I can only save so many Austin establishments. We're saving a golf course. You just angered like seven listeners. Promise you. We couldn't save bungalow bungalow's out of here man you're out of here pal scrams get out of here get lost does this place have a good dirty martini you can't call it dirty martin's and not have a fire ass dirty martini they don't have this there might be a full bar it says full bar on the website

okay there is uh maybe i don't know i just get beer there they have will's sweet potato fries are they trying to build housing like student housing there or something what's the deal something along along that line yeah man i've always paved paradise to put up a condo building i've always thought that dirty martin should just get absolutely flattened and then they put up like a an apartment building with like a restaurant underneath it that's there like for a year and then a new restaurant comes in for a year. And then another one comes in for a year. That's a good idea.

Yeah. You should pitch that too. Yeah. Um, anyway, I wish they were getting frightened. Anyway, uh,

we had a Matzo Rancho trip on Saturday after the party, after a nap. And then we went to Matzo Rancho, uh, and Sunday, Bay and I just kind of hit the town a little bit man it's beautiful we sat by a pool pretty expensive weekend man what does that cost i invited dylan to go to matt's because because i uh also went to matt's own rancho we invited

dylan to go with us and he was like oh no i'm napping let me see and then he showed up 10 minutes after we sat down and then just sat at a table near us our whole family took a nap it was kind of messed up parks little bay big bay is it true y'all y'all have the willy wonka the charlie's family sleeping arrangement no no the kids have their own bedrooms weirdly yeah they and i share a bed save a lot of room i did i did a couch nap though i love a good couch nap when the sun's up love it i took a golf nap saturday i was watching hostler that's sick man dude i actually took a little golf nap as well dave we had dinner with your sister-in-law last night must be nice didn't see my invite come through yeah you didn't get one i didn't

get one to matt's yeah that's weird where'd you have dinner last night ranch 616 interesting actually hate to say this but i actually did get an invite sorry bae actually babe actually mentioned it to return the volley dave don't listen to him he's trying to write back hey balls in your court why don't you try to make you feel bad he's saying to using him back it was kind of a tough weekend for invites dave what'd you do this weekend thank you weekend for invites dave what'd you do this weekend thank you thursday uh what do we do anything thursday company one oh brett and i know when did brett and i go to us wednesday hard to say friday is the main event um i met up randy came by my place to get um a card table that we acquired to play beer die at my house with Brett when he first came to town probably three years ago we never played beer dye it's just been sitting in my garage we used it at

Rhodes first birthday party Randy needed it because they were going to pre-game um his birthday which I didn't realize they were going out for his birthday it comes by April 5th by the way for those keeping track at home Will knows I'm the one person at the company that knows Randy's birthday and more on that in a minute. Yeah. Um, Randy extended graciously extended the invite. His roommate complimented my lawn. Thank you. And, um, I was like, you know what? I'm going to do my best. I'll do my best to come out and meet the boys for a beer. Now, while I was waiting, I was waiting on the text. I don't want to look too thirsty, but Dan, Dan was messaging me and I was monitoring Randy's social, his buddy, Omar's social, all the guys that were doing photo videos, just 20 dudes dressed up in thrift store suits, things of that nature, just drinking, playing power hour, I guess.

I don't know what you guys were doing. And I was like, man, do I really want to go meet up with this crew? Cause they are all on another level. And I I've had exactly one glass of wine and I did, I went and met him at parlor West six. It was absolutely slammed. It was dad's weekend. Um, I was not the oldest guy on West six, is very cool beat dan and pop a shot even maybe 20 bucks pretty dope uh from there we went to rustic tap also completely slammed i didn't see randy once i think i talked to you for one minute and you thanked me for coming out and then i asked you i go hey man um do you invite will oh i got it and you claim that oh yeah hold on hold on before we let randy talk uh dylan dylan what do you have going on over there 5 42 p.m on friday i got a

text from randy and randy doesn't text me very often unless it's like in a group environment it's weird randy and i text a lot if you're going no i'm sorry if you're trying to get silly tonight we are going out huh okay i unfortunately could not go out as I was with the kids that night in Bay. But thank you, Randy, for including me. Randy, you did tell me that you invited Will. Okay. So I'm going through. I'm just going through some of my texts.

Friday night around, okay, let's see, 542. I texted with our dog sitter. Texted with my family about setting up a master's draft for tomorrow night. More on that later. Talked a little soccer with my boy. I'm not seeing any texts about any birthday parties going on. Well, I do know that Randy's birthday party is April 5th. Did you guys know that?

Everybody knows that. Randy, did that text just not go through? You're live on the mic, Randall. Oh, no, I didn't send you a text. Oh, okay. Just making sure. you a text. Oh, okay. Just making sure. Just making sure. Why do you hate Will?

Because you were sitting on that couch right there, and you said, and we were talking, me, Adam, and Brad, about going out, and then you said, I would join you, but it's weekend of Sally. I have to watch. No. No. That's a pre-set. No, dude.

You said that on the last podcast too. No, no. I did not invite you because you were taking care of Fritz. Trust me. She got her stuff done. That is not a good enough reason to not invite me. You said you couldn't. All you had to do, Randy, all you had to do was send a text in the

WASH Media group chat being like meeting at Rustic at 11 p.m. Meanwhile, I'm just out here. i'm sitting at this i'm sitting outside with micah just like man i would love to go like mob with the boys right now but it doesn't sound like anyone's doing anything you know i get home this is my weekend of fun by the way i get home and i crash and i i go on instagram and i see about 40 stories on randy's story i'm like man that looks like a lot of fun the boys are just out enjoying themselves they're dressing in bits and dan like dan's there the whole squad's there it was a lot of something dave's mixing it up like brett had an alter ego of trip and i'm like man this sounds like so much fun i was like man maybe i did get invited then i searched like hey brett was dressed like a west

texas car salesman and he kind of crushed it randy's muted for the rest of the episode oh dang well i brought randy two gifts today so i'm like i'm greasing the wheels over here i'm trying to be randy's favorite no it's cool it's cool i feel like an outsider here i've started looking at real estate and like the woodlands i think i'm gonna move down there you're gonna move to the houston area i'm gonna move to the woodlands. I think I'm going to move down there. You're going to move to the Houston area? I'm going to move to the Woodlands. I'm a Woodlands guy through and through. Okay. Yep.

Yep. It might be weird to podcast from so far away. It's fine. KJ is going to podcast from Madison or Madisonville. Madisonville. You guys are fucked up. Dave did invite me out. Way to go, Randy.

I'm sorry that Randy doesn't like you anymore. No, it's okay. I always thought he did like me. That was what kind of rattled me the most. I was like, man, I thought I was one of his faves. Weren't you saying that you weren't really that upset about it? You were just mad that he texted Dylan and not you? Yeah.

I mean, that's facts. That's facts. To be fair, I did have four beverages, and I woke up the next morning, and I up the next morning and I didn't feel great. I didn't feel great. I was hungover and I had two children's birthday parties to attend, all within about an hour and a half time frame because of road snap. And yeah, we showed up to the one soon to be stepdaughter. Yeah, and I apologize for getting there so late, but we had a good time.

I slammed a cold Chick-fil-A sandwich, which was fine. Chick-fil-A sandwiches are good no matter what the temp. It was fine. Oh, also, my son's walking now. We'll talk about that on the dad pod next week. Congratulations. That was a big player

in the weekend. Of course. Just watching him walk and being terrified and laughing at the same time just opens up a whole new thing hey can i ask a total random question here that's had nothing to do with anybody's weekend yeah please how come every time i see a picture of travis barker and courtney kardashian he's either like groping her or like licking her face or some shit what's his problem that's what people do when they're like in love dog disgusting she's never seen him with a headset on.

Stop the open mouth, gratuitous tonguing. Just look away, dude. Let him be horny. Are you out on French kissing? Horny happens, dude. Are you out on French kissing? You don't have to be in public like that all the time. He's feeling on her titties and shit.

Yeah, but if it's consensual and she likes it, they're not doing anything wrong. It's just gross. Feeling on her titties and shit. He is. It sounds like she's okay with it. Yeah, if she mean, like, if it's consensual and she likes it, like, they're not doing anything wrong. It's just like feeling on her titties and shit. He is. It sounds like she's okay with it. Yeah, if she's okay with it, why are you not? I saw rumors she might be pregnant. You don't like seeing a girl boss get groped? I mean, if she's cool with it, that's fine.

It shouldn't be on our faces all the time. If she's okay with it. I'm just saying, man. He's objectively a good looking guy. Yeah. No, he is objectively not. It's Travis Bark's also not. No, he is objectively not. It's Travis Barker, dude. No, he is definitely objectively hot.

He's a tiny little emaciated punk. What are you talking about? He's gross. He used to be my idol. I think he could beat the shit out of you. There's no way. I met him in real life, and he's a hot dude, IRL. He weighs 130 max.

He weighs 130 max. Do a poll. Do a poll for a second. I will squash him. Is Travis Barker hot? I think he's a hot dude IRL. He weighs 130 max. He weighs 130 max. Do a poll. Do a poll for a second. I will squash him. Is Travis Barker hot? I think he's hot. I think most of our female

and male demographic will say, hey, he's hot, man. You may not like his music, but you have to respect his hotness. He's not a hot dude. Does he put off Big Hog vibes? Big what?

Or is that just like the drummer thing because of Tommy Lee? Big Hog, penis. Okay. I don't know, man. Why don't you answer one question? I don't know if he has Big D vibes. Like, maybe.

That's all you got to say. Don't do a poll. No one cares. No, that's what I'm saying. Don't squash this guy. Oh. God. I think he's hot.

It's been polled. Also do a follow-up poll. Can Dylan beat up Travis Barker? That has nothing to do with whether or not he's hot. Because I can. I'll give him drumsticks, too. I'll still whip his ass. What's your problem?

My problem is Travis Barker tonguing his girlfriend over my TL all the time. I'm either fighting you by the end of this podcast or Randy by the end of this podcast. And I'll lose both of those fights, but I'm going to fight you. I don't care if she's a Kardashian. You don't date a Kardashian and not publicly tongue them. Like, maybe once or twice you sneak a little tongue for the cameras, but, like, stop groping her. Okay, which couple would you rather third wheel? Okay, which couple would you rather third wheel?

Travis Barker, Kourtney Kardashian, or Megan Fox, not Megan Kelly, and Machine Gun... Kelly. Machine Gun Fox. Whatever his fucking name is. Did you see that cover of Ariel's? What a terrible, terrible song. I don't want to hang out with either one of those couples, David. I would 100% hang out with Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian,

who seem like relatively normal people, whereas Machine Gun Fox and Kelly... Megan. Megan. She is like... They're doing everything to be like the zany couple. Yeah, they're trying to be Billy Bob and Angelina. Yeah, it wasn't cool then.

It's not cool now. Oh, you mean when he famously issued that line? Do they make... You want to know the truth? Do they make... We fucked in the limo. We fucked in the car. What a fucking scumbag.

Go see Bad Santa. Great in Sling Blade. You sling something else in the back of that limo. Not the best performance in Sling Blade. Dwight Yoakam. Did you ever see Sling Blade? I don't think I did, man. You should watch it.

Okay. I probably won't. You'll like Dwight Yoakam's band. I appreciate the recommendation, but I probably won't watch it. I think it won awards. Okay. Let's hear from our friends

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publicly, but I'll make an exception just this one time to tell you I saved a substantial amount of money with Truebill. Are you talking like three digits? I don't speak of digits publicly, but I will tell you it was three digits. If you look at it long-term and it was something I didn't even, I honestly, when I saw, I go, I don't't know what that is and i don't think i'm alone in that a lot of people will be like wait what what what is this uh app that i'm paying for the subscription you know who knows i think we need to do this as a company because one time i logged into my bank account and i was like oh i'm paying for stuff that was done like 2019 style can't even imagine what kind of recurring payments i have going on in my regular life but luckily true bill isbill is there. Matty B is actually a Truebill user. He said,

in a matter of seconds, I saved $660 for the year on my DirecTV bill and saved $120 a year on my SiriusXM bill. That's $840 a year on his car insurance. Matty B? Yeah, he's saving like crazy. Holy shit. Don't fall for subscription scams. Start canceling today at Truebill.com slash circling. Go right now. Truebill.com slash circling. It could save you thousands a year. Again, Truebill.com slash circling. Dave.

I got bad news, Will. Lots of folks don't think Travis Barker's out. Dylan's winning this poll currently. I'm smoking. I'm like lapping the field, dog. Whatever. Don't care. Just saying, man.

Dave, you have a story for us yeah it's a story um oh it's a hazing story we're doing this one dylan you're a big fan of hazing oh yeah big time love it big fan um are you familiar with um the private school in Vermont, North Private. Oh, it's a private military school. And it is Norwich University. Are you familiar with this? You almost went there, right?

No, I've never actually heard of it. Okay. Are they related to the English Premier League team, Dave? Norwich? Well, I don't. Probably not as it is in Vermont. Oh, okay. Vermont's a state I forget about.

Why? I just. When I'm thinking about like that, you know. No a state I forget about. Why? I just... When I'm thinking about that... No one's ever been there. Subarus with bumper stickers. Howard Dean is what I think of. Remember Howard Dean? Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Was he Vermont? That guy's weight... That guy does not have Vermont vibes. I think he's Vermont. Very funny. Yeah! That really cost him the race man we're gonna take back though he kind of got wrong by the media but i'm not gonna take back washington that was pretty good yeah i'm glad you're

familiar with that yeah how do you know so much about that dylan it's a funny clip we're gonna go to North Dakota. It's all I got. I'm going to go to my house. What happened at Norwich University with the women's rugby team? Well, so there's a TikTok out there. Turns out Howard Dean stayed the night at this house. Really? With a bunch of co-eds. No, we'll get to that later. I'm kidding.

We've got some hazing. We've got potential waterboarding, and it's on the women's rugby team waterboarding allegedly branding as well oh i could help them there yeah i'm calm elton because they'd be brand right elton brand the the duke basketball player Throw it down, big man. Throw it down. Coach K, go at home. He lost to UNC in this fight. Dang. Man. Dang. Well, we've got some cell phone footage and saw what has been described as a video of another woman with a washcloth or something similar held over her face while a third woman poured liquid onto the cloth uh something described as waterboarding right you familiar with this now you are waterboarding's been out of the news for a while you got to go back a few

a few administrations right what was your take on that whole waterboarding deal um give me just your thoughts on the geneva convention as a whole no i mean we don't need to go through all that but waterboarding um seemingly is not like one of the in seemingly i've never been waterboard i'm sure it's like the worst experience of all time but doesn't seem like it's that bad can you die water getting waterboarded it doesn't seem like can you die getting waterboarded or does it does it just give you the sensation of drowning it's an honest question i have no clue it gives you the sensation of drug but can you actually go into shock or something okay but like it's more just the panic that sets in as opposed to like the actual like threat of dying i have no clue as someone who can constantly is flooding their sinus cavity with salt and

saline, which is the same thing. A lot of people don't know that. I can say it's a very uncomfortable feeling. And I can't imagine having that done against my will. I bet it's awful. You just said there's no problem. I mean, seemingly.

No, no, no. We're talking water. We're not. Seemingly, it doesn't appear to be as you know torturous as some other like pulling your fingernails off yeah or your teeth out yeah or being electrocuted they also know that northfield officer hands they do note that north field officer carrie tucker sent an affidavit affidavit david how do Tucker sent an affidavit. Affidavit? David. How do you say it? Affidavit. I'm not a fucking lawyer.

We've done this before. I know. This was like a touching base thing. That she went to the school on March 20th for a report of someone being held at knife point. You guys ever held your boys at knife point before? No. We were fighting the Cobras.

Really? It was a switchblade? Yeah, no, a lock blade. It was a difference. Oh. The TSA took it. If you would have said, Yeah, no, a lockblade. It was a difference. Oh. TSA took it. If you would have said, okay, this is an NF confession.

I've never been hazed that bad. So if you guys said in the middle of hazing, say you're getting waterboarded, you're getting branded with players and a knife like these girls are. If you just say, I'm out, I'm done, will they actually let you leave or are they just going to be like,

get on the ground, you little bitch? no they but yeah like it's like leave but you're not coming back exactly like i mean i know that i know that the consequence is not coming back but like i'm kind of surprised more people don't just get up and leave right but also like if you're joining the women's rugby team at norwich university like you kind of got to expect to get the smoke why are they such badasses there you know it was kind of a a joke i feel like early days of tfm like waterboarding the pledges like because it was like nobody does it it's like the elephant walk no one's actually waterboarding their pledges but apparently look we were just looking at the wrong the way that they got this they got this from someone's cell phone video. Like, hey, if you're going to waterboard the homies, maybe don't record it.

The homegirls. The homegirls. In this case. I mean, homies is pretty gender neutral. Okay, maybe. I feel like you just don't need to take phone videos of it. You just watch that later like, oh, man, what a good time. You get your iPhone highlight from your stories and you're just like, oh, man, that was so fun.

Remember that time Tina almost passed passed out we simulated her drowning it was a successful simulated drowning simulation no drowning would you rather get waterboarded or get the brand it depends what the brand is if it's dope the brand okay it's like supreme like it's uh no if it's supreme supreme's on the outs can't do supreme i don't know probably waterboard because it's like supreme like no no if it's supreme supreme's on the outs can't do supreme i don't know probably waterboard because it's not gonna be permanent on my body yeah but what if it's dope i don't want to i just don't want to brand man i had some boys back in the day they did the whole branding thing and while uh it took them like you know two months to have their their wounds recovered i was jealous that i wasn't included that night. Did it leave a scar?

I mean, I fit the criteria, but you weren't selected. Oh man. I'm not trying to get brandy. If you guys walked in with like, if you guys walked in with brands on you this morning from Randy's birthday party,

I would have been devastated. No, you know what we did? We did the thing with the lighter where you hold it and then you do the smiley face and stab yourself in the chest with it. See, I don't want to do that. My friends went through a putting cigars out on your arm phase which i did not participate in thankfully they still have scars because of it idiots with

all due respect that is fucking frat no it's not those nights usually start with like trading licks like punching each other in the shoulder and then you end with the cigars yeah it's just toxic they called me the p word for not doing it. I was like, I don't care. Guys are really fucking stupid. Call me whatever you want, man. I'm not going to have a dumbass scar on my arm for the rest of my life. Want to know how I got this scar?

They put a cigar out on it. A little mix. That was a number of characters mashed into one. Yeah, so that's it. Just some hazing. Just by the ladies. The ladies rugby team. Hey, ladies is hazers too.

Hazing is so stupid. Is it? Really stupid. Did you know Dylan had a fuck terrorism bumper sticker on his... Really? No, I did not. So you're pro-terrorism. That's an old school...

What you're saying right now is that you're pro-terrorism.'s an old school what you're saying right now is that you're pro-terrorism do you understand that reference i know you do of course i do okay we sold we sold them at grand x yeah dylan was dylan was tossing them in for free t-shirt orders yeah we we sold a great deal of those i believe t-shirts too all right let's hypothetically did it stop terrorism i don't think so did any terrorists see that like they're driving like you know what yeah fuck fuck me you know this kid with this kid with the fret swoop thinks we should stop we should probably cut it out let's cut it out yeah it's 100 bucks to fill this kid's tank this kid in paisley two inch inseam shorts does not he's not a fan of terrorism oh geez uh so we've done

something that uh one of our smartest scientists in the history of our nation has advised us not to do oh um elizabeth holmes okay i was like dave not only has to think of a scientist right now but he has to think of things that scientists are anti she's a woman i thought you're gonna go with fauci if i'm being honest oh i am staring i don't want to get us taken down true is this a this is real yeah so yeah dylan is fucking real aliens are all they're the wave right now. This is kind of sick, honestly. Can I read the first paragraph? Stephen Hawking pretty much said, like, don't do this. And then we did it.

Go ahead, Dylan, read the first paragraph. I want you to read it. Scientists have designed a radio message. I'm sorry, I'm trying to read it. Just read it. Scientists have designed a radio message to be beamed into deep space that is meant to be received and, they hope, understood by an intelligent alien civilization. They're going to broadcast Earth's location to aliens. Correct.

Like, hey, come and get it, bitch, basically. Yeah. This is where we are. What if we sent the come and take it flag? Basically, like, hey, they're basically dropping a pin for aliens. I feel like they probably know we're here. So you're telling the aliens drop a pin so you can go beat the piss out of them. No, we're straight up dropping a pin.

Like, come get smoke if you want. Well, do you want to hear what Stephen Hawking, you know, kind of expert on this stuff, what he said? Yes. This was, obviously, he does not know we're doing this now. As he has passed away. As he has passed away. Obviously, he does not know we're doing this now. As he has passed away. As he has passed away.

But it says, the late physics professor Stephen Hawking expressed concern multiple times about humans calling out into the vastness of space and contacting aliens. In 2015, Hawking appeared in an event announcing the launch of the Breakthrough Listen project, which studies radio waves in an effort to find out if any of them are artificial in origin. are artificial in origin hawking showed support for the efforts to find alien life by listening but warned against actively reaching out ourselves using humanity's own behavior as a sign that aliens won't necessarily be friendly does this scare you no what song did they send was it doja cat it was actually uh zombie it was alien ant farm he did note that hawking went on to say that aliens could be vastly more powerful than us and they may not see us any more valuable than we see bacteria what if they're little wimps though little bitch-ass aliens like what if they're like this tall they don't they haven't figured out how to use weapons they show up to earth and

they're like we've been listening to circling back we hear tiny arms are in what if they're not even wimps what if they're just simps they're just obsessed with our human women they're just like oh hey you look great queen so many beautiful babies on earth oh you're killing it yeah it's queen hey no matter what yeah it's queen they're just responding to tweets drop this queen yeah they're on hot girl golf hot girl golf instagram like your swings looking great would love to get around sometime oh my god god how down bad are you if you actually put that on a golf instagram account swings looking great would love to get around sometime the simps and my dream the simps and hot girl golf instagram are just they're simpier than anybody i've ever it's the worst it's so no it's also the best though right like these guys think that they have a shot what do i have to do to play around a golf with you

yeah oh beautiful swing beautiful swing will you marry me she's probably not going to but it's like early in the morning when they're less horny they're like like oh it looks like a great day out there and then like late at night they're just like oh i'd love to get out there with you like chill out dude just mashing just relax mashing buttons on their phone ridiculous the more i think about it the more i'm like not okay with us dropping a pin on these aliens instead of dropping a pin on them like we've all seen

I don't know Independence Day like what if that actually happened and we're like fuck we kind of you know we kind of called out to them like yo party's over here what's the point is that what we did how do you broadcast a radio message in a deep space anyway? I don't know.

Everything about that, David? Probably not. Don't they know radio's a dying medium? I would have just shot a podcast out there. They did Dua Lipa levitating. No, it was SZA featuring Doja Cat or Doja Cat featuring SZA. Stop. You didn't even know what that was.

Yes, I did. It was binary code. Ones and zeros. How do you know they know binary? I'm just reading the damn article. Is that what they said? Dumb, dumb. They actually said binary?

The message was transmitted in binary code, ones and zeros. Once decoded, the message forms a visual graphic consisting of a stick figure of a human as well as representations of our solar system dna and the ericabo ericebo telescope yeah hey i'll say this it's an affidavit i hope a human stick figure what so if we're saying that we look like sticks but if we're sending they're not gonna think we look like if we're sending like that if we're doing binary code like doesn't that assume that they would know what letters are? They're like, man, humans look weird as fuck. They look like little stick guys.

I just hope if we do reach an alien, that alien doesn't have control of all of the Infinity Stones. Oh, dude. David. Randy. Oh. Thanos. Someone thought that was funny.

Hey. Dude, keep keep going they're loving it We'll be sure to get Ant-Man and Wasp to stop them Do you think they're listening to this episode? The aliens? They're circling back listeners They haven't been as good since Touching Base Dave is so funny he's my favorite Dave is my favorite

Will's a bitch Dorn's kinda cool but he's a douche I love it when he sings I can't find these Vizzy mimosas anywhere They're too fire Seriously That's a real one That's so stupid

They told me to go to the Valera on South Lamar They apparently have everything It's too far away for them They're not that busy out there They told me to go to the Valera on South Lamar. They apparently have everything. It's too far away for them, man. They're busy out there. I could only get kombucha on tap. Boy, that is a real thing. They do have kombucha on tap there. Bing bong.

Yeah, they have nitro bing bong. That gas station's back in play with the new office. It is, David. It's the best gas station in town. You stupid idiot. Why do you think we wanted to go to South Lamar, dude? It's our favorite gas station. That's why we're getting a new office, you dumbassid it's the best gas station in town idiot why do you think we want to go to south lamar dude it's our favorite gas station dumbass what if we just called our what if we called the new lodge instead of the people cave the gas station that would confuse people i

don't know i don't know that's a good question what if we got a gas pump at the new lodge and we set the prices? Wow. Whoa, how are we going to obtain that gas? Like where would we get it? Just bing bong. We will siphon it from the 7-Eleven down the street. There it is. It's so stupid.

What if like I didn't show up to work on Monday? Like today I just wasn't here and like you guys were looking for news stories you're like well maybe we'll just slept in and like whatever and then you like looked you're going through like austin local news and you just see me in cuffs from siphoning so much fucking you guys smelling like gas one day sorry it's been a long night this siphoned all night long my texas history teacher told us he was an older guy he's probably now deceased so i'll never hear this but um his grandpa used to treat when he was sick he would just take like a tablespoon of gasoline and drink it like that was apparently like a thing that they

did back in the day i I don't recommend doing that. Then again, I'm not a health professional. Yeah, I might try that. The hell? It's just one little teaspoon. It smells good. It just sounds dangerous. He also would laugh when people pronounce the word Colonel Colonial.

Or like those dumbasses who don't know how to say affidavit. Affidavit. Affidavit. I called pomade pomade one time to my parents because I didn't know how to say affidavit affidavit affidavit i called i called pomade pomade one time to my parents because i didn't know how to say it and they were just like you're you're an uppity asshole stop i was like what's pomade pomade i didn't know how to say it what is an 18 year old supposed to know how to say pomade like yeah come on i figured that you would yeah seriously if anybody here would know how to say it it's you know if anyone here like try to class

it up more it it's me, and then look like a dumbass for it. All right, odds the next time you get a haircut, you'll ask if the hairdresser has any pomade. Do you want product in your hair? T would know I was messing around. Yeah, y'all have too good of a relationship. Yeah.

I've been going to complete strangers. T's tight. Actually, speaking of hair, Dave, are you aware that two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35 yeah i'm very aware thanks we're all 35 in here and uh yeah i've been getting my hair cut a little shorter lately and i'm like oh man i'm a little worried that it might not grow back you know what i mean i'm thinning man more than say it more than 50 million men in the u.s suffer from male pattern baldness and keeps has more five-star reviews than

any of its competitors that alone should just tell you everything you need to know. But there's more. There are only two FDA approved medications that prevent hair loss and keeps offers them both. Keeps offers a simple, affordable and stress free way to keep your hair. They've got convenient virtual doctor consultations and medications delivered straight to your door every three months. So you don't have to leave your home. I mean, that's just beautiful in itself. They've also got 24-7 care and support.

Keeps has a network of expert advisors, prescribers, and care specialists to support you in making your hair goals a reality. And best of all, it's low cost. Treatment starts at just $10 a month and Keeps offers generic versions of the two FDA approved medications to prevent hair loss. And they're affordable, typically half the cost of pharmacy prices. They've got everything your hair needs delivered straight to your door. And remember, prevention is key. Treatments can take four to six months to see results. So act fast and get on that grind. Well said, man. I'd be bald right now if I didn't start four to six. No, I wouldn't actually. But like the preventative part is key. Make sure you're doing it because when it comes to your hair, save more, spend less. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash steam to receive your first month of treatment for free.

That's keeps.com slash steam to get your first month for free. keeps.com slash steam. Let's check in with the juice. Sounds like the juice got a little loose Damn What's the Jews been up to? You know he's He's been quite active on the social media

You know he doesn't tweet He just does Well he does tweet But he does not tweet words He just vlogs He's bringing vlogs back first of all Hey Twitter world I think I might start vlogging

I've been saying we need to pivot to vlogs for it's a video blog i asked randy that if i just like if i just did something and i just took all the video myself on my phone if he could stitch it together and he said yes so now i have to vlog at some point are you guys ready for willie's vlog what if it goes viral that'd be awesome but what if i'm like super famous for my vlogs and i like don't even talk to you anymore i only talk to dave why would you not talk to me but you would talk to dave because like when randy invited you to his birthday you weren't like hey does my boy will invited too that's not my first reaction i heard dylan responded and said who's gonna be there anyway what do i do group of 20 somethings wake up oj simpson at 1 a.m in viral tiktok video randy play the video

i don't think we're gonna have sound oh perfect that's what you're looking for oh we have sound. He said fuck him. Yeah, that's him. All right, let's go. I'm the trophy winner. OJ Simpson in bed. By himself, might I add.

What else did he do? It looks like a comfy bed, if I'm being honest, but this is definitely a dude's room. How did he get there? How did he get there? Like, I bet he ran into this group of co-eds at a bar, vacation area, partied with them. They were enjoying the novelty of it. It's like, hey, there's a dad. Oh, my God. The dad's got to be the most excited person there, right?

Who's daddy is that? Because, like, okay, don't get me wrong. All the girls in this video are objectively good looking. Like, I get why OJ would go home. But when you go back to your vacation house and, like, your dad's there, are you like, dad, OJ's down there? If you run into OJ Simpson, are you with your boys? You run into OJ at a bar. You're on vacation.

He's alone just at the bar having a beer. Like wearing a Callaway visor? Are you trying to chill out the rest of the night? Or do you get a quick picture With him Because I think I want To mob with OJ We've talked about this before

About whether or not You would ask him for a picture And now you're trying To get him back to your place I'm asking you if you would You're making some leaps here I mean No I wouldn't

You get a few drinks And you're like Hey man Let's get real This is kind of like When Brett and I saw The dude from the Sandlot At a restaurant

The other night. A little different. The avid Scientologist? What's different about it? One of them was an actor whose rise to fame was as quick as his exit. That's kind of fucked up to say about O.J. Simpson. The other one is O.J. Simpson, an alleged double murderer and Heisman Trophy winner. Does he still hold the single season rushing record?

I believe so. Yeah. Will's going to have to look that up. I don't think he does. Man, I think he might. What does it say? Eric Dickerson. Oh, the dick man.

He dick. He dick. Pony up. 2,100 yards. Okay yards okay okay also look dope at the goggles just all the swag yeah wow i believe um oj simpson's eight on the list i believe he got a trans am from um was it texas then he was like thanks for the trans am but i actually going to SMU. They're paying me much better over there. He kept the car, too. He kept the Tranny.

Trans Am. Sorry. You guys were incredibly far off. You're not far off. He's number eight on the single season rushing yards list. Is he really? He's thinking of the C. Eric Dickerson, Adrian Peterson, Jamal Lewis, Barry Sanders,

Derrick Henry, Terrell Davis, Chris Johnson, OJ Simpson. OJ Simpson did it. He broke 2,000 when they had a 14-game schedule, I believe. Hey, I got news for you. Don't care. What's your fucking problem? Sorry. Put some respect on Barry Sanders' name, dog.

I'm a big Barry guy. Well, yeah, you hate Emmitt Smith because he snubbed you. I do hate Emmitt Smith. He's a jerk. I've never been snubbed by Barry. Never seen Barry. Well, Emmitt Smith's a big old jerk. Does it, like, OJ's in a crazy spot right now

where him waking up in the house of a bunch of co-eds, like, really doesn't even make the news waves. Like, that's just part of the lore of Oj at this point like nothing really matters in his life are you saying no one's canceled no one turned up dead at this particular slumber party he was canceled before canceling was a thing then it might have been a story you're saying if he was suspected in a murder yeah turns it appears to be everyone is still alive if parks let's say parks and roads are on spring break together

okay let's go there's an age difference there why isn't fritz there because the hell fritz fritz went to uh because he didn't get invited it's like his dad it's randy's kids what a son of a bitch what if rosenbark's just like straight up didn't like fritz so what they don't invite for instance just them and uh you're sitting at your let's say let's say hypothetically speaking you guys are sitting at like like it's dylan's uh ocean it's dylan's house in seaside florida where oh jay or like whoever goes back and they're like dad you're not going to believe who's passed out in the extra bedroom right now like who are you hoping for to be passed out in the extra bedroom when the when the boys come back for

the bars courtney i don't know they're in there just full on what if it's maddie b kiss fight that'd be sick like because that's like if you're an old dad, OJ is a big deal to you. That dad looks like the kind of dad who was, like, watching every single part of the trial. That's his age range perfectly. Of course. That would be like Elizabeth Holmes being passed out. Yeah, he probably killed those two people, but he's also making dope video content on the internet. So, like.

I no longer follow OJ. I don't either is that like a principal stand well his his honestly his videos just aren't that good oh i beg to differ i think they're pretty i think he gets a he gets a lot out of them and i like that he can kind of turn on a dime and he can go from like the new overtime rules to ukraine or something maybe i need to go back in because the time when I got out on him was when all he was talking about was his fantasy team.

It's bad content. That is bad. He needed someone in his corner to be like, OJ, it's kind of a joke on the internet that no one cares about your fantasy team. But he was always like, I don't...

His takes were almost like mine. It was like he'd talk about the best players and be like, I should have started blah, blah, blah over this guy. Yeah, man. It's like, wow, that was a good take, OJ. You should have started the guy

who got more points. It's very relatable. it's just like our group text you know it's probably the one that i'm not in we guys talk about war zone and shit go to each other's birthday parties and shit it's fair damn dude dude we saw a bunch of backers that were asking where you were were you like randy didn't invite him i just just feel snubbed. I would too, man. I thought about just going from the restaurant where we were having dinner, going to Rustic Taps, slapping Randy, and then walking out while straightening my suit.

Damn. I didn't have a suit on though, so I couldn't do it. He was going to Will Smith you. You're going to get Chris Rocked, bitch. I was the only one who didn't create a character. I just kind of went out as myself. That's lame. Who are you going to be?

So you went as a total boner? Dickie Sucks, obviously. Richard Suckington? Yeah. Richie McSuckerton. Oh, Richie McSucks. Dickie McSucks. He was Irish.

Oh, Dickie McSucks. I can't do Irish. Oh, Richie Mick sucks. It's Dickie Mick sucks. He was Irish. Oh, Dickie Mick sucks. I can't do Irish. Oh, Dylan. You and your buddy, Dickie Mick Suckerton. Come on by. The donkey. That's pretty good. Donkey, Dylan.

We love you. Have a meat pie. Always have. Always have a meat pie? I mixed up accents. Okay. All right. Well. always have a meat pie i mixed up accents okay all right well i can't do irish sorry s&p's nodding donkey i wish i know wait what is it darcy's donkey bro put some respect on the name darcy's donkey baby bro it's darcy's donkey no dorsey's donkey yeah i'd go there on my cheat days man i could i'd kill for a meat pie right now.

Well, there's a meat pie place down the street. I love hot, humid weather. Yeah, I've told you about this place. What's it called? I don't know. Like pies or something. It's called pies. And they do meat pies.

It's just like the restaurant buckets. They do cream pies too. Apple pies. Pumpkin pie. What's your favorite pie? Stop being gross. I'm fucking not. Dude, we're after an hour.

We can make all the cum jokes we want. What? Everyone knows. What is your favorite pie? It's key lime. I've talked about this. I love key lime pie. Weird that it's key lime.

The tart flavor to go along with the graham cracker crust. Is it the juxtaposition of the two? It is. Interesting. The graham cracker is sweet. The pie filling or the key lime part is tart. Is it cream? It's a beautiful marriage of flavors.

What's your favorite pie, David? Pumpkin. I don't have a problem with that. Good. A calm pie is better for a fall pie, but pumpkin's number two. Okay, so we're going to seasonal can i just say i think i think yeah i think you can do seasonal i know cheesecake is a cake but i think it should be pie okay okay you want that were people ready for that conversation

okay well okay because like uh hold on how about A hot dog is actually a sandwich. Now we're getting in the thick of it. I mean, it's a Hucknum hat. Give him a... All right. Welcome back to the first episode of... What's it called? The gas station. We need to come up with something.

Oh, shit. I wish I didn't have any name. Today, we're talking about whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich. Isn't it a gas station segment we did? Yeah. Vroom. Ding, ding, ding. Vroom.

It was a bell chime. Do you want to take Bieber's fit from last night's Grammys to the gas station right now? Absolutely do not. Why? Odds you wear that suit for your wedding. You know I'm not doing that. Dude, just odds you wear Bieber's fit from the Grammys to your wedding. You know I'm not doing that. Are you you wear beaver's fit from the grammys to your wedding you know i'm not doing that are you renting a tux for your wedding i want a tux

my uh david has bought a tux my uh please don't discuss my finances publicly yeah what's your deal let's just move into the place together i know i heard i didn't get invited we didn't go together we didn't carpool just to be clear i know you guys went there and i did not catch an invite why would we carpool though because i mean gas is so cheap you know we should both drive well it's super easy to park up there too so you want to hear what i did i was kind of a bad boy um i found a one hour parking spot at the domain don't tell us i guess he was there for about an hour and 20 minutes dude stop i almost turned him in it pissed me off i'm surprised you didn't get towed i went out to my car there was a big old lucchese on my tire got booted

that's cool we're just doing lucchese toad content hey he got boots brett did this is me i need to get boots i just don't know what i'm gonna wear boots with i own i own exactly one pair of jeans and they're white i can't just be the guy that wears cowboy boots with white jeans only yeah that's a tough look to pull off like people are gonna beat me up you're gonna be like why don't you just buy a pair of jeans because they don't we have like five sponsors i know i know well i'm i'm waiting i have i have a lot of faith in a certain sponsor that's coming our way soon i've been told it's the best fitting jeans he got more on that next week or later this week call that a tease in the biz oh that's show biz baby do you think oj does pretty well at the bars like with the ladies yeah

i mean the best case scenario is that you hook up with oj the worst case scenario he kills you you die he wouldn't be he's not stupid enough to kill someone again right uh sir he was found not guilty in a court of criminal proceedings he wouldn't be he wouldn't be stupid enough to put himself in a situation where he's allegedly murdered someone again right probably not i would hope not well i you know you say that and then the vegas thing happened no he was just trying to get his trophy back yeah but i think the the way he went about it was a little bit like illegal he's stealing trophies back yeah why are you doing bars right now because i didn't get invited on saturday it's good it was friday you kind of got fun cocked i mean i had fun don't get me wrong like

i was with micah and boo boo and like we were we were having our own fun time and stuff mike and i did drink sake and we were drinking uh eight ounce beers at dinner but like you know sometimes you gotta mob with the boys it's been a minute i love those cute little beer glasses yeah they asked us if we wanted the eight ounce for the 20 ounce and i was like you know what let's just do a bunch of eight ouncers tonight drinking mini beers just makes it feel like you're cruising through beers just deleting them in a rapid clip like a big boy i was just worried that i wasn't we had sake on the table as well and i was worried that i was going to be drinking more sake than beer and so i saying this like that on purpose? That's how you say it.

Okay. I feel like you were never a sake guy. You were sake. Well, I think saying sake is incorrect. So I didn't want to be the person that got called out later for it. I've been mispronouncing things incorrectly on Sunday Scaries all year. And people have been calling me out harder than ever for it. Give me the most egregious example.

The most egregious example isn't even an example that I feel like I should be criticized for if you saw the word and this is how okay i'm gonna spell it for you okay l o e w e l o e w e how do you how would you pronounce that it's lou they pronounced it Lou-eh-vey. Okay. Who did? They. What is this company? They make candles.

In other sense. I should have. Why did I ask? Yeah. It was a tough week. Lou-eh-vey. Had to do a notes app apology on Sunday Scaries and everything. It was just tough.

It was just tough. I can tell we've lost Dylan. Yeah. Dylan's out. He heard sending candles and was like, I'm done. Once he starts moving his mic around. I've used all my material. He's just tough. I can tell we've lost Dylan. Yeah, Dylan's out. He heard sending candles and was like, I'm done. Once he starts moving his mic around. I've used all my material. He's like, I'm tired.

I don't talk like a six-year-old. I'm tired. Get me out of here. I want my pomade. My hair looks bad. I'm hungry. I need a meat pie. Elizabeth Hoon.

What are we doing for lunch? Elizabeth Hoon. Don't worry about it. Theranos. Theranos. Let's go to Theranos. Alleranos. It's good at Theranos. Okay. If you guys have any

worst of stories, send them in worstof at washmedia.com or you can go over to washmedia.com and click on the worst of logo.

Remember, when you hit the pipeline for voicemails, for Friday voicemails that are released on Thursday, please keep it under a minute. Dave, just say the phrase.

No, 30 seconds is too hard. You got to let him breathe getting happy tactical fuck you you