Circling Back - Will Returns For Dilly de Mayo

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

Major Announcement: Will's back and he's ready to talk about being a dad. He also circles back on some things that transpired on Circling Back over the last few weeks, discusses giant Joe Biden, This Weekend in Fun, and Brett's Breaking News. Contribute to our campaign to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: pages.lls.org/mwoy/ctx/austin21/wmedia Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:34) Will’s Back (And He’s A Dad) (37:18) Circling Back on Circling Back (53:43) Giant Joe Biden (1:03:00) This Weekend In Fun (1:12:30) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Raycon: www.buyraycon.com/steam (15% off) Public Rec: www.publicrec.com/circling (10% off) Policygenius: www.policygenius.com Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge presented by busy heart seltzer the only heart seltzer with vitamin C and super fruit acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my right, David Ruff. Two things, real quick. Let me be the first to welcome you back, Will. Thank you. Second, let me wish everybody out there

a happy Dilly DeMayo. Wow. Is it Dilly DeMayo already? Oh, my God. Yeah, it is. We're not going to make that a thing, right? I think it's been a thing since this past weekend. I was on the Grom on Saturday just kind of scrolling, doing my thing,

and I saw a photo of you. It said, Happy Dilly DeMaio, and I thought to myself, damn, this snuck up quick. What is that exactly? I wasn't aware of that holiday. Is it just locally celebrated? I think only one person celebrates it, and that's Bae. Bae posted.

Yes, Bae did that. I had hopes that I would come back from being gone for two weeks, and the word Bae would be scrubbed from your vocabulary. But unfortunately, you probably used it about six times since I've been in the studio today. I feel like I made it worse. It's cringe funny. It's got me using it. Yeah. Yeah. Bae made spaghetti last night. I've been in the studio today. I feel like I've made it worse. It's cringe funny. It's got me using it. Yeah.

Yeah. But he made spaghetti last night. I brought it in. Okay. You told us that earlier. We didn't really care then. You know that Eminem song? He talks about base spaghetti?

No, it's not. It's mom's spaghetti, right? What? Yeah. Mommy's spaghetti. Base spaghetti. Anyway. It's pretty good.

But yeah, happy Dilly Day Mayo. No, let's not, let's not smear. Her spaghetti is quote, pretty good. Wait,

can you give me a good spaghetti? Tell me a spaghetti. She's going to love hearing that it's pretty good. It's good spaghetti. That's because you're

like a noted spaghetti guy. It's one of the first things you learn how to make. Yeah, spaghetti connoisseur. It's good spaghetti, man.

She didn't mess it up with like mushrooms and all that dumb shit you guys put in it. There's nothing wrong with putting mushrooms into a spaghetti connoisseur. It's good spaghetti, man. You didn't mess it up with mushrooms and all that dumb shit you guys put in it. There's nothing wrong with putting mushrooms into a spaghetti sauce. There's everything wrong with putting mushrooms in spaghetti. Some recipes call for that. Not Bay's recipe. What was in your spaghetti?

Are you the type of person that doesn't eat mushrooms? Are you one of those weird people? I do not eat mushrooms. That's insane. That's not what I heard. Mushrooms are trash. No, they're not. You can cook a mushroom so many different ways, and they taste amazing every single time.

Even like a micro-mushroom? Microdose? The only fungus I F with is truffle. It's a fungus, right? Right. And in the form of hot sauce. I don't fucking know. Do I look like a scientist?

It's a megatruff city. Welcome to the science factory. I'm not a man in STEM. You're not a scientist? Do you eat blue cheese? Yeah. Okay. That's got fungus on it, right?

It's just a little moldy. Is it mold and fungus? I don't know the difference between mold and fungus. I don't either. I was today years old when I realized that there's probably two different things. I'm more of a spore guy. Yeah, you do like spores. That's right.

It's an old campfire delicacy. Yeah, mushrooms, it's the consistency more than anything. They're just slimy and gross. Shut up. And kind of just really off-putting for me. I had a life-changing mushroom risotto one time. It changed everything I knew about vegetarian meals. Sounds like his life-changing pear salad or whatever it was.

You're just out here eating pretty good spaghetti. No, it was really good spaghetti. Well, what was it? I don't want to. We don't have to do all spaghetti talk today, it was really good spaghetti. Well, what was... I don't want to... We don't have to do all spaghetti talk today. We've got more stuff. But I'm curious what was so good about the spaghetti because it's a fairly simple dish.

How did she... Did she put like a little twist on it or... Noodles and sauce? Any meat? A bolognese? It was a very meaty sauce. Really? Yeah.

I brought some. I'll let you smell it after I heat it up. I don't want to smell Bayes spaghetti sauce. I don't. It's some. I'll let you smell it after I heat it up. I don't want to smell Bay's spaghetti sauce. I don't. That's not what I want to do today. Okay. Shouts to Bay, though. And shouts to Dilly De Mayo, which was a few days ago.

Not today. Today's Cinco De Mayo. Dylan, the guy who's like, that's not going to be a thing, is it? And then he's referencing it like six times. Yeah, now he's embracing it. He knows that if he doesn't embrace it, it's going to get even worse. He's going to get a kick out of this segment. Dilly Day Mayo. Just a big day for Dilly.

Yeah, one of our friends started calling me Dilly as well. Man. I don't know if I love it. More on the new friends later. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Thought we'd move past them. Will. What? Welcome back, dude. Back in the saddle. How it feel i mean honestly i kind of

wish i was still just like on paternity leave just chilling with my my kid it was awesome yeah like we should have like we should have like a two-month policy that we do can we upgrade it for the next ones let me upgrade sure man can i get one Can I get retroactive paternity leave? To hang out with my six-year-old son. Does that mean, wait, so you won't be here for an extended amount of time? Uh-huh. Yeah, that's cleared right now. Here, let me turn the mic down.

Can I start right now? Yeah, we can just knock this out right now. So did y'all get all the guys that you wanted? Did y'all have some pretty solid rushes going through, or how'd that go? God. Looked like y'all got a pretty strong class. Dude, the hospital was so frat, dude. Fuck yeah, dude.

I just went to the baby nursery and just looked at all the names on the wall, and I was like, damn, these are some frat stars. Dude, Fritz is a first-round draft pick with that name. Yeah. Oh, the first name Fritz? Yeah. And three sticks after the name? Three sticks.

Come on. It's over. Just give him a bit. Will fraternities be a thing when our kids are old enough to be in fraternities? No, I hope not. Honestly. No. I hope not.

Aren't they calling Parks the Greek freak already at school because he's just getting groomed to be an absolute frat star? He's already hearing from a few of them at UT, actually. Is he going to Roundup? They're buying him lunch at school and stuff. It's crazy. They're hitting him up for schwaps. I wish that Parks would have been six when we were at Grand X so that you could have just done a video of you grooming him to be a

frat star as a six-year-old. Dude, Mr. Frat. He's got a high crown visor. That would be cute. That would be mega cute. That would be. It would be borderline impossible to fit a high crown visor on That would be cute. That would be mega cute. That would be. It would be borderline impossible to fit a high crown visor on that kid's head right now. He's got a little head, man. I can't even wear a high crown visor.

My tiny little head. Yeah, you do have a tiny little bitch-ass head. Right. Hey, can I say that it feels good to get the squad back together? I know that you don't want to be here and then I want to leave. No, I definitely want to be here. I definitely want to be here. It would be better if you did take your paternity leave right now, though.

Well, no. I'm going to stick it out. Will just wants to be in the basement lining up the pledge class, just fucking screaming. The bay? Damn, man. Dude, what? Isn't he good?

That's crazy. Yeah, I did it to him. Damn. Can we get some programming notes out of the way? I've kind of missed doing ad reads and programming notes the most, if I'm being honest. Oh, you didn't miss us? If you haven't been listening for the last few weeks, well, that's not very cool of you. But we're partnering with LLS, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

We've all been affected by cancer in some way, shape, or form, and we're campaigning to raise money for the man and woman, or in our case, the team of the year. LLS does more to advance science and support patients than any other cancer organization. They're the largest nonprofit dedicated to creating a world without blood cancers, the team of the year. LLS does more to advance science and support patients than any other cancer organization. They're the largest nonprofit dedicated to creating a world without blood cancers, and since 1949, they've invested nearly $1.3 billion into groundbreaking research, pioneering many of today's most innovative approaches. Hit the donate link in the description of this episode.

You can also see it on our website, washedmedia.com. Secondly, go follow Circling Back and Watch Media on the Gromp. Add me on the group. Add me on the group. Add me on the group. No one had me doing that three times. Just go do it. Leave a review and five-star rating. The last review was just someone complaining that we don't have any episodes up on our shit.

Yeah, it's an Apple issue. Yeah, it's not us, fam. Did they give us, like, one star? What happened? No, they didn't give us one star, dude. Okay, good. They're still good. We've actually gotten some pretty funny reviews lately.

We read some not too long ago. I mean. I read them. What's their problem? But that was before Dilly DeMaio. That was before Dilly DeMaio. So it could be a completely different vibe right now. Yeah, this is from Monday.

A review from Monday. It's Dorn Sits When He Pees is the username. Which is true. It says he's a big old backer. That's cool. And it says, yeah, I love the pod. Not sure why, but only three episodes are showing up when I click on the show, and none of them are recent.

So that's really good. You always like to hear that. We deleted our entire catalog. Yeah. I mean, it's just part of what we could do for Dilly to Mine. We didn't want to get canceled, so we just thought we'd get ahead of it and just delete everything. What are the episodes that are still up though they're not

good ones uh salmon cannons and succession actually no i just said the cannon was a good episode i disagree i think cannon dude i think i'm gonna forget those salmon and then four loco hard seltzers and the next door pooper is that a j-bone column for pgp probably probably did about i don't know 200 page views. We let him write a sequel. There was a point where we were down so bad for content. We were like, yeah. He was like, can I write the sequel?

Like, yeah, I guess. Like, fine. Cool. Great. The Bone Man. He's the Bone Man. Also, Patreon. Dylan did something special last night.

Dylan unveiled something. Do you want to explain what you're doing? Yes. I will be publishing a recurring column that's called the Backer Insider. And that's exactly what it sounds like. Gross, dude. Really? Don't make it dirty.

Not Back Insider. The Backer Insider? Backer Insider. That's a video I don't want to see. People who support the podcast are called backers, right? They get the inside look. And what are they getting inside? Washed media.

It's basically a behind-the-scenes of what goes on. Would y'all shut the front door? I'm trying to say it, you dumbass. Sorry, I didn't mean that. Anyway, I basically prompted questions. I was like, look, I need questions from you guys. What do you want to know about And we'll talk about it

And I got Over 80 responses already Well maybe We're not going to talk about Everything they asked No no no Within reason I said But it's for backer eyes only

So I've got something That just It's pretty equal to that And I'm doing it only Beyond the Patreon It's called What's for dinner Oh I thought you were going to do

A Dilly Day Mayo thing And I asked people What's for dinner So it's very similar to Patreon. It's called What's for Dinner? Oh, I thought you were going to do a Dilly Day Mile thing. And I asked people, what's for dinner? So it's very similar to that, only there's a little twist on it, and that twist is dinner. Wow. So if someone had Bay's spaghetti for dinner, which hopefully you're the only one having Bay's spaghetti. Right. I hope so.

Then they would put, well, thanks for asking. I had Bay's spaghetti for dinner. Interesting. That's a good concept. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Judging by the response, like I said, people are pretty amped up for this little thing I'm doing.

The responses are pretty funny. You get about 50-50 serious, and then the other 50 is very, very bit heavy. I think it's more like 70-30 serious. Okay. Some serious ones. I didn't run the numbers. I didn't either.

I just, you know. But plenty to go off of already. I'll probably do the first installment this week, folks. Make sure you run it by HR because of the NDA. I'm not going to do that.

Okay. Okay, bro. Anyway. Look out for it. Like I said, back your eyes only. You've got to be a paying subscriber. So that's the only way you can check it out.

Which tier? Hey, dude, someone said we should collaborate with P. Terry's because that place is fire. I don't know what we would collaborate on with a burger joint. Like a circling burgers. Like a co-branded burger? Yeah, I don't know if that would work. I had their patty melt and they gave me diarrhea, so I'm not exactly rushing to go collab. You realize I've had the opportunity to get that patty melt like two times in the last three weeks, like to get a

burger. And I've not gotten the patty melt specifically because of your, your incident. I mean, you know that I'm, I'm upfront about when things taste good, but still give me diarrhea. It still tasted really good. My last order at Pete Terry's was a triple cheeseburger on a boat, a lettuce boat. And it was so underwhelming. You can't do it with lettuce, dude. It was so weird. Stop lettuce wrapping your burgers.

I know. Dude, it is the least good healthy alternative that a fast food restaurant has. But when's the last time anyone got a lettuce-wrapped burger and it didn't just drip all over themselves or completely underwhelm. Like, it's just terrible. It's not a good thing. It's almost as bad as the burger bowl. No, dude, burger bowls are way better than the lettuce-wrapped. A burger bowl is just ground beef.

So? Like, just ground up. It's a taco salad, essentially. Yeah. But the taco's not... Without all, like, the paprika. Paprika's trash. It's a common ingredient it's bad when i

was a little kid my dad took me to lobster night at a local country club and uh it was because i really liked lobster and it was like well i'm gonna do something nice for my son and i got double barrel lobster tails and they served it with paprika on top of it wait and i didn't like the paprika and so i i sent them back, apparently. And as a little kid, I don't think I should have been sending back lobster tails when I was like six years old. It seemed like a cocky move. Well, I could be way off. I don't eat a lot of lobster, but I can't imagine wanting to add paprika to my lobster tail.

Just give me the butter. Just give me the butter. Yeah. That's how I feel about all lobster. Don't cover it in mayo for your lobster rolls And stuff like that Just dip it in butter and call it a day Maybe like a side of dilly de mayo

If you've got some dilly mayo Some dilly-o Oh gosh What's the dilly-o? I hate it Also, worst of Voicemails, Tuesdays, Fridays Patreon.com

slash circling back podcast just go make it happen could talk about Raycon real quick please dude this summer man things are opening up a little bit the boys are gonna get to flex

in different areas of the world this summer Raycon do you guys have anything planned uh yeah like trip wise we talking about yes yeah I'll bring my Raycons to Colorado in a few weeks.

They're great on an airplane. Dave, where are you going? Might be going to Mexico. Oh, Mexico. Way down here. You should stay where I stayed, which is Nobu. You should stay there. You need a reason.

I'm going to Michigan in July, so whether it's for work or play, a lot of us are going to be on the move again this summer, so my advice to you, take your Raycons with you. You could be working out. You could just be jamming on a plane. You could be watching a movie on a plane. But a pair of Raycon wireless earbuds in your ears can make all the difference. You get crisp, powerful beats at half the price of other premium audio brands.

And Raycons, they look good and they feel even better. Dave's got some black ones that are just swag. Straight up murdered out. People don't even approach me when I'm wearing them. They're like, he's murdered out and he's listening to music yeah see mine are white boy summer because mine are just like they're white i like them i also have the black ones but people do approach me because i guess i have a why are dave's black ones cooler than your black i don't know it doesn't make much sense interesting these are built for wherever

you go with quick and seamless bluetooth pairing in a compact charging case. I actually took that yesterday, and guess what I did? You charged. Well, there's a lot of rumors floating around that I was going to get back on my Peloton BS, and I decided to delay that until today instead of Monday. You were talking to big game. People were waiting. Yeah. And so I did some preemptive stuff today.

I made sure the Peloton software was updated this morning, and then I took my Raycon earbuds and I put them in the cup holder with a charging port on them. It was really good. I'm really killing it right now. Wow. Very cool. So listen up. Raycon's offering 15% off of all their products for our listeners. And here's where you've got to get to do it. Go to

buyraycon.com slash steam and there you will get 15% off your entire Raycon order. And it's such a good deal. You'll want to grab a pair and a spare. will get 15% off your entire Raycon order. And it's such a good deal. You'll want to grab a pair and a spare. That's 15% off at buyraycon.com slash steam. Buyraycon.com slash steam. You're a daddy, Will.

You guys hear this news? That you had a son? Had a kid. Dude. Major shouts to Fritz. Big shouts to Fritz. So I didn't realize that he was going to go by Fritz, which is super tight. I feel like it was kind of this thing where...

It just happened? No, no. But I told everyone, like, oh, if we have a boy, we're going to keep the name going. And I don't feel like I ever explained beyond that. Like, no one ever explored beyond that. So what are you going to call him? It was just like, oh, okay, you're going to name him William Fritz of Fritz III. I kind of put it together because all of your family members in Sally's family were referring to him as Fritz as opposed to William.

Well, yeah. So we listened to the first episode after we had the child. And you guys didn't really have a name for him. And it was like – and someone was like, do they not know what you're calling your child? And I was like, you know what? I'm not really sure if they do. Yeah. I'm not really sure. WD3. See, I don't know what you're calling your child? And I was like, you know what? I'm not really sure if they do. Yeah. I'm not really sure.

WD3. See, I don't know if I like WD3, Dave. A lot of people were saying that. I wasn't sure. So a lot of people go by their middle name. It's a thing. I've always wondered if it's like something that parents decide up front or if the kids, like, one day, like, no, I'd rather go by Joseph than Dylan, which is my middle name. I don't know.

My kid can't talk yet, so it was definitely us making that decision. Yeah. Exactly. That was me, or that was actually more Sally. Right. Okay. Yeah, because I could have gone with William, could have gone with like, I don't know.

Maybe he wants to go by Billy one day. Cinco de Willy. Can I ask, did you say your name is Joseph? Dylan Joseph? Chivri? Deej. Dude, Joe is such a dope name. Why don't you go

by Joe chevery I don't know Joey chef Joey chefs Joey Chevrolet because my name's Dylan that's why okay all right Joey tomorrow you're like I could see like you being 20 being like oh like talking to some like babe at the bar being like oh yeah my drunk alter-ego it's actually Joey Chevrolet cuz like Joey Chevrolet yeah it's like dude I'm just like wild Yeah Joe was out last night That's me That's you

Yeah Joe went out for Dilly Day Maya Oh did Joey come out? Oh I hate it when that happens Joey DeMaio kind of hits Did you So you guys waited to know the gender Until birth We did

Something I'll never do again how was it announced is it like in the movies where they just go it's a boy so it's kind of cool actually it was actually the coolest moment of my life i'll say that uh so before we went in so without getting too into too much detail uh actually i'm not even gonna go down that road. But they essentially told me, Will, you're going to be behind the curtain. When the baby is finally out, we will take him or her, and we will position him and show you, and you get to announce it to the room what the child is. And so- It's a lot of pressure. Yeah, they told me that they were going to do that. And then, so I was standing there,

and I was behind the curtain, like I said. And, you know, when you're in a room like that, there's a lot of things going on. There's a lot of moving parts. A lot. There's a lot of blood. You don't want to – you're very, very careful. You're on edge. Yeah. I'm not good in situations like that.

No, and so all the people in the room told me, stand up. It's time. And so I was like, okay, cool. And I stood up, and it was not time no it was no so i think i was i had so much adrenaline and i was so stimulated by everything that like i don't think it was possible for me to actually pass out like i was just it was not there but like they told me to stand up way too early and i saw way too much of stuff that i didn't want to see and i was like okay i'm gonna sit back down and everyone was like stand back up and I was like, okay, I'm going to sit back down. And everyone was like, stand back up. And I was like, no, like this is not even close to happening. We've got at least

60 seconds. And so then finally, uh, they actually did it, but I was kind of nervous. I was like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to identify what this child is because there's just a lot of stuff going on. Like the umbilical cord, blood, whatever other substances are on the baby. Like, I was like, am I really going to know? And really gonna know and uh sure enough yeah they flipped them over and uh i was it was very blatant it was like oh you saw his thing that's my guy yeah that's my dude right there yeah um and so it was but announcing it i didn't do a very good job because i was kind of tearing up a little bit but i definitely announced it to sally but i think other people in the room couldn't really hear and so it wasn't exactly like some grand announcement did you say it's a lad it's a

lad it's a fella whole squad is having boys i know it's weird well so i was actually positive that we were going to have a girl uh because one everyone and their mother pretty much like willed it on us before we had the baby i was so sure dylan was cocky like not to go he was like even came up dylan would just be like nah it's a girl it's like okay yeah heaven forbid like there's a squad that's something else the squad is due for a girl we are due for a girl yeah uh randy randy so you want to announce randy randy are you pregnant he says no yeah i don't know uh it was tight though says no. Yeah. I don't know. It was tight, though. Did you...

You don't have to get into this, but did you do the actual... I did. You did? Okay. I snipped it twice, actually. We had to do it two different times. The umbilical cord we're talking about. I said beforehand, if they ask me to do something, I'm doing it.

Yeah. Didn't care what it was. But I don't know. It was a surreal experience being in the operating room and stuff and just being like, holy shit, this is actually happening. And then they don't really guide you. They don't really tell you what to do. So I was just kind of running around, like, trying to cater to Sally, who's, like, just laying there and then, like, trying to be like, I kind of want to hang out with my son. This is dope.

I feel like Sally just took the whole thing like a champ and just, you know. She did. It was a good day. It was a good day. It was a good day. So she had the baby at the hospital where she works, so we actually had a lot of familiar faces in the room, which made it a very good day. I mean, it would have been a good day anyway.

The European Super League got shut down that day. Man U's Ed Woodward, he had to resign. So it was already a fire day for your boy. And then the kid came through, and it was like, okay, today's even better. This is what's up. Yeah, it's kind of a blur. I'm thinking back. It feels way longer than two weeks ago.

The last thing I remember doing really, like, after the birth process is, like, taking a picture of him being weighed in on the scale and then, like, doing skin to skin. Did you do the skin to skin thing? Yeah, yeah. And then, like, I'm like, what did I do for the next eight hours? Like, I don't have like a lot of. So we woke up on that morning and it was, as you guys know, it was 420. Ever heard of that, that day?

Far out. And, and Sally was kind of down bad. And I was like, man, Sally, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I think we need to go to the hospital. And all she said to me was, I don't want to have our child on 420. And I was like, well, unfortunately, I don't think you have much of a choice in the matter at this point. I think he wants out. So, yeah, that was something that she did not want to happen, but that is what happened. I mean, it's pretty great that it happened that way. I mean, it's absolutely hilarious. Yeah, it was something that she did not want to happen, but that is what happened. It's pretty great that it happened that way.

I mean, it's absolutely hilarious. Yeah, it really is. I mean, the whole Wilmonds thing, it's, come on. Come on. What age do you tell your kid about Wilmonds? How do you explain Wilmonds to your child? Will there be an actual brick-and-mortar Wilmonds by the time that the child is old enough to comprehend what this is? There will be a food truck.

One of the questions upcoming for the Becker Insider is about Wilmonds and if it will actually be – I think they phrase it as a pop-up tiki bar situation. I don't want a pop-up. You want a brick-and-mortar. You can serve Bay's spaghetti. I want an investor, and I want something fully run that we just have a stake in so we don't have to worry about too much. Can we have a menu item that's called Bay Spaghetti? No, we don't serve spaghetti at Wilmot. No, it's a fusion.

We're not a fusion restaurant. It's all – Yeah, I don't know. It feels like way longer than two weeks since it happened. Bro, he looks just like you. I don't know who he looks like. You need to stop mocking that when people say that. I'm not.

Mike Child looks so much like you. I know. Fritz looks a lot like Will. Does he? I think so. At first, I didn't know. I told Sally. I was like, Dylan's a super recognizer and said this.

But I look at his and I look at mine. I'm like, these are different. He's a zero-year-old version of your face you know it's like how do you know that i have a beard he doesn't that's a great point you haven't seen will's face in years i'm look i'm looking at it right now full disclosure i almost shaved over paternity leave really whoa my beard's just getting out of control in different parts and i'm just having a lot of trouble with you went and saw tea i noticed i did i told her i was like chop it all off i can't i can't deal with this shit right now i was like i need i need to have short hair did you did you see

roads uh how to do it to him pose i did did you teach him that or did he just like was he has he just been on twitter unless alissa taught it to him like she just sent me that photo i don't think she realized what kind of gold she had i was like like, did he do this? Like, what? Dude, sometimes I'll look at Fritz after I get done feeding him, and he's just, like, sitting on my lap, and he's just, like, chilling back like he's in a hammock or something. I'm like, dude, being a kid is very chill. Dude, you just sleep and eat, and people clean up your stuff, man.

It's like you can just whine, and all of a sudden, like, you're getting your ass wiped, and you're getting a bottle in your mouth. Yeah, it's tight. That's what's up. It's, yeah, I've got some questions for you. Can I ask you three questions? You can. This is three questions.

This is a lightning round. Hit the lightning round button. Ladies and gentlemen. The lightning round. Have you been pee-peed on? Yes, numerous times. The first time was in the hospital and pee got literally everywhere. Isn't it jarring the stream that they've got at that young age? It's just surprising because

you're already like, I'm pretty new to changing diapers. I've never been in a position in my life where I've had to change a diaper regularly because I've never had an infant in my life. Sure. And so changing diapers is a relatively new thing to me. And actually yesterday we decided to have a cleaning person come and deep clean the crib so that we wouldn't have to think about much. And as the cleaning person came in, he started pissing all over me. And I was just like, really? Right now? This is what we're doing?

And so, yeah, just pee everywhere. And if I had a dollar for every person that said, hey, make sure to flip it down. That's true. I'd have like $10. Well, they have these little cone things that you can like, you're just to put over it. Really? Yeah. Put a teepee looking thing.

It's a little, it's a little wiener teepee. See, I just waste a piece. A teepee. I just waste a thing, a wipe. And I just toss the wipe over it. The wipe works just as well. Yeah. Second question, lightning round.

Have you had the moment where you thought he was smiling at you, but in reality he was just pooping himself? All the time. And I finally understand when he's pooping now. He starts breathing quickly. Yeah. You pick up on those things quick. And then all of a sudden, it's just noise.

Yeah. It's a funny juxtaposition when you're holding your son or your daughter and you're just looking and you're like, oh, he's smiling at me. And at that age, you're like, are you really able to make facial expressions? And then it just turns into more of a strained face. And you're like, oh, he's smiling at me. And at that age, you're like, are you really able to make facial expressions? And then it's like it just turns into more of like a strained face.

And you're like, oh, no. Oh, no. This is going to be a mess. Yeah. He's very active on the bowel front, which is fine. Okay. That leads into my next question. Have you had any issues with gas and have you had to use a Windy?

What's a Windy? Like Wind Wendy Clear? It is a gas device that goes in the rectum. No, we've not done any of this. It is like when I saw it, I was like is this a joke gift when somebody

got it for us? It might have been KJ. Somebody sent us some and I was like is this a real thing you put in your baby's bum to help them relieve gas? The one time we used it, I mean, it is quite the mess. We just have some drops that we give them. The drops, the gripe water, which gripe water is a tight name. I don't know what gripe water is. Gripe water is a thing that I had never heard of until.

I feel like Dylan drinks that with bay spaghetti. Got any gripe? Hey, you guys got any gripe water? Got any gripe? I don't know what gripe water is. And that's the end of the lightning round. Wow. Good stuff.

That's all just poop and pee questions. Hit the come thunder. Not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. I did Vice Headlines. I was doing it, and I got five out of five. Did you?

Yeah. The guys did pretty good. Dude, that's so sick. Who won? Did you win? Brett won because I knew what the last one was, but I didn't want to go for the tie because he had already chosen. Chosen?

He already chose? Choosed. I chose the other one knowing it was probably wrong. I just wanted the other one to be a winner. It's Chasen, actually. Yeah, what's up, man? He had already Chasen. He's Chasen.

He already Chasen. Did you – so we need to make that note. We still owe Brett. Remember, the winner of Vice Headlines got his Patreon for the next month paid for at $10 value. Out of Randy's – Out of Randy's paycheck for some reason. Sorry. I'm going to give a special shout-out to's paycheck. Out of Randy's paycheck for some reason. Sorry. I'm going to give a special shout out to some backers,

some certified backers, some opto boys. Whoa. The first two people who won their worst of stories, both of them separately reached out to me and said, hey, I want to donate that money to LLS instead of getting a free month of Patreon. And I was like, damn, you guys are stand-up guys. That's a $20 value.

Yeah. Wow. We should consider matching. I would have just converted mine into Doge. Had one of them asked me to pay them in Bitcoin, I would have done it. I would have figured out the way. That is a Shytoshi. I did something really cool with Bitcoin.

I bought more Bitcoin the night before the IPO of Coinbase. And if you look at the graphs, the numbers behind that, all-time bad time to buy. All-time bad time. It'll go up. Could not have been worse. That just made you a stronger investor. Just hold. Dude, have diamond hands.

Just hold it. Be careful. We're not doing an ad. You can't say that during ad reads, right? No diamond hands or anything? I don't know. Hard to say. Speaking of something we're not supposed to say during ad reads,

Randy, do you want to put up that video that you showed us before the pod? The Kanye and Kim? Oh, dude, that video was epic. How did you find that? Like, no one else knew that you got that. I feel like, does Randy have something that he, he likes the Kardashians in some way? Because I feel like all the time he's like,

hey, do you guys need content to talk about today? The Kardashians did this. And I'm like, Randy, why are you always bringing likes the Kardashians in some way. Because I feel like all the time he's like, hey, do you guys need content to talk about today? The Kardashians did this. And I'm like, Randy, why are you always bringing up the Kardashians? Randy's like, why was this not talked about? These are very famous people getting in a pretty serious jet ski accident. Well, Randy. Because it wasn't them. I hate to tell you, this is definitely not Kim and Kanye.

Just two people who kind of resemble them. From a distance while moving on a jet ski from a distance yes the blur going by the blur going by and just i will say the the way that thing launches off of the other jet ski like the airtime the hang time it gets is pretty sick yeah it's kind of dope like assuming no one got seriously injured like that is uh Yeah, it's kind of dope. Assuming no one gets seriously injured, that is, dare I say, epic. Yeah, quite.

Yeah, I'm on Snopes right now, and it says it certainly doesn't. They literally say it certainly does not feature West or Kardashian. Certainly. You were close, though. He thought he found internet gold that had somehow gone undiscovered for like 15 years. You think that if Kim and Kanye got in like a jet ski accident that I wouldn't have tweeted that already from Wilmont? That would have been the most memed thing ever.

It would be huge. It was happening today. The biggest couple on the planet, arguably one of, gets into a hilarious jet ski accident and goes airborne 10 feet off the sand on a jet ski. Has she always been this thirsty on Instagram or does this just have to do with like... Kim?

Yeah. I mean, it's kind of her brand, isn't it? Yeah, I guess her brand is thirst, but I recently started following her just before the divorce, and I just feel like she's very thirsty. She needs some grab water. She's back on the market, you know? Is she already dating somebody? Don't get me wrong.

I've always had a little thing for Kim. She's a very pretty woman. I've always had a little thing for Kim. She's a very pretty woman. I've always had a little crush on her. A very pretty lady. Who do you think she's going to date? Who's she linking with? It's hard to say. I read an article that said she was just getting offers from everyone from like tech entrepreneurs to like royal people.

Who's got more suitors? Melinda Gates or Kim K? You got to think it's Kim Kardashian. Also probably a billionaire, if not close. No, she's in the Billy Club, I believe. It did a million a minute. You can't just go, you can't like text your boys and be like, yeah, I got a hot date with Melinda tonight.

Why not? Why can't you? Yes, you can. Why not? If you have the choice to go Melinda or Kim, you're going Kim, right? Yeah, but if Melinda calls, you're picking up the phone. You have to take these things into consideration. Is Travis Scott still in the mix?

I think, I don't know, actually. T. Scott? Hard to say. I don't think so. He did spend his birthday to be doing what appeared to be mushrooms on a beach somewhere, and not with his family, so I'm not really sure if they're still together. Dude, what a sick birthday. I know.

I know. It kind of inspired me. You're going to do mushrooms? Yeah, on the beach. No one hates mushrooms. With Travis Scott. Kim is a Callaway person. Didn't know that.

Yeah, she's recent. She's a recent golf girl. Very cool. She's got the epic driver. Is she linking with Chet? Ooh. Ooh. They're not going to start dating, David.

Okay. I don't think Chet's got it in him. White boy summer. He went live the other day on Instagram, and I was one of the 300 people watching. That's not good. That's not a good audience to follower size ratio. It was also very early in the morning. I was actually feeding my son.

And you're just like, yeah, I'll tap in, see what Chet's got. I drink your milk bottle. That's what he said. Really? What if that's how Fritz talks? He might. I'm worried he's going to come out with a British accent because he's just sitting around watching soccer

and Sky News with me every day. So not to – Well, yes, he does have a Manchester United onesie. How much – are they too young to be looking at screens? What's the deal? Because when we're sitting there on the couch, Rhodes is drawn to whatever, like the golf or the F1. Big Lewis Hamilton guy.

I believe it's just the lights that they're into because I don't think they can make out figures very well yet. I know that he's not deciphering it, but I'm just wondering if it's a negative thing that my three-month-old is just like, I'll hold him and he's clearly like, he's torquing his neck to see what's on that screen.

He wants to see what Toto's up to back in the cockpit. Dude, Toto is such a psychopath. He's a big Toto guy. I'm worried my kid's a frontrunner. Dude loves Lewis. Probably is, man. Fuck. That's lame.

Lewis does have the most swag, though. I went online the other day, and I was checking out some of the new Aston Martin gear that goes along with their team. They've got the best merch in the game right now. Hey, can we, when F1 comes here, even if we don't go, can we all just be the guys around town wearing the Ferrari? They're really stupid. They look like gas station hats. Let's go dummy on merch. The fact that you even think that I'm not going when it comes back to town is insane.

It's pretty surprising. For whatever reason, Dylan and Brett haven't locked down tickets yet for us. I'm sorry. I've been saying we need to just – I'm not even going to get into it. This is for patrons only. If you want to know what's behind that curtain, you've got to go on patreon.com slash Struggling Back Podcast. Wow, dude.

Sorry. Wow. Sorry, not sorry. It's called Brett – new segment, Brett Dropped the Ball. It's just us bitching about Brett not getting his F1 tickets. I like that, actually. Let's talk about public rec real quick we all know about sweatpants dylan's got some of the trashiest sweatpants i've ever seen or he did before public rec came into the picture

that's fair it's pretty embarrassing you had a bunch of that were like way too long and like you'd come into the studio and you'd have like a bunch of wetness at the bottom of them because you were dragging them through puddles and stuff again i don't know if that's fair to say like i'd rather be caught dead than seen wearing some of the sweatpants that you were wearing. You would rather be a dead man than wear my sweatpants. Yes, I would rather die. Yeah, honestly. You had pockets, but they didn't have zippered pockets. They were trash. Let's just get on with the read.

They were pilling easily. They were not moisture-wicking, nor were they breathable. In fact, they almost looked like they got too hot and you were sweating like crazy. Maybe it was just sweat at your ankles and not actually like the puddles outside. His swankles. I don't know why I'm being targeted in this. Well, that's why I'm so excited to talk about our new sponsor, Public Rec.

They make leisure wear in waist and inseam sizes because comfort starts with a better fit. My favorite pants are their best-selling all-day, everyday pants. I actually have some in green, and they're a more stylish alternative to sweatpants and a more comfortable alternative to jeans. Put them on one time right in front of the mirror. Took them right out of the packaging. Tossed them on and Sally said, wow, those look amazing on you. You should buy another pair of those. And she didn't even know they were sweatpants. She thought they were just like everyday pants.

I pretty much toss these on when I get home after a long day at work. Here at the office talking into a mic. Go home, just throw those on. Just lounging. If I have to go to the store, I'm going to keep them on. I was going to say, man, that's what's so dope about them. You throw them on because they're comfortable. You can lounge in them. But if you need to step out, maybe even hit the store, I'm going to keep them on. That's what I was going to say, man. That's what's so dope about them. You throw them on because they're comfortable. You can lounge in them.

But if you need to step out, maybe even hit the club, don't even change. I wore mine to the discotheca recently. Really? Interesting. And the boardroom. You went to the discotheca without inviting us? Well, it's going to— You know I love discotheca.

It was the Davoteca. I was probably in the boardroom if Dave was in the boardroom. It just means that I just didn't get the invite to the discotheca. What a jerk. Sometimes I step out, man. Well, now you can get your whole wardrobe from Public Rec. They've got incredibly comfortable shorts, T-shirts, Henleys, polos, hoodies, jackets, even golf gear, and they all come in nine different colors,

one for each day of the week and then some, maybe twice on Sunday. Henley Thursday's back. Woo! Let's go! Ha-ha! Public Rec rarely discounts, but right now they have an exclusive offer just for Circling Back listeners. Go to publicrec.com slash circling. Use promo code circlingback to get 10% off.

That's publicrec, R-E-C, and use our promo code circlingback for 10% off. Speaking of circling back, can we do a little segment that I like to call circling back on? Circling back. That was my head exploding folks. Yes. Yes. What do you want to circle back on? So I didn't listen to every episode.

Oh, cool dude. I'll say that. Did you at least download and subscribe? I did download and subscribe. Yeah. I did listen to only, I did one of listener voicemails episode where actually let's just circle back on this.

Dylan, you said that you did have hungover voice on that episode, just to be clear. What is that about? And you did say that you had some mezcal margaritas before you doubled back and said that you started off with a martini. Oh, yeah. I saw you tweet about this. Why are you going so ham on work nights, dog? Well, so Bae's job Brittany

Okay Her name is Her name is Brittany Okay She takes clients out a lot And she takes clients out On weeknights a lot And a lot of those times

She's Like intern clients? Client What if she was taking Klein out? That would be a problem Just a weekly outing With her friend Klein?

No. Your spaghetti's great. Well, yeah. I wish there was some mushrooms in it, but it's pretty good. I don't know. And so, yeah, that night she took some clients out to, we did drinks at a hotel downtown. Then we went to Lambert's.

It's a hotel party. One of the band of heathens guys was performing an acoustic set at Lambert's. Is that a band? Okay.

Band of heathens? Yeah. That's so Derek from Step Brothers. That sick brag you just hit us with. You went to Lambo's and watched the guy

from Brisk. I was a guy from Band of Heathens. Was there playing a set impromptu? I was a plus one. I was at Lambo's. Yeah, their brisket's pretty good.

Brisket's fine, you know. It's fine. It's not that great, actually. I brought some home for my dog. Yeah, I had a few cocktails, all right? I'm actually, again, tonight I'm going. No, not tonight. Friday night I'm going.

Actually, is it tonight? Why don't you just save it for this weekend of fun, you freak? Yeah, chill, dude. God. You're basically doing the segment over. Chill out. She lives, okay. She has a very, her social life is much more active than mine. She's a lot cooler than I am.

So she actually gets texts from people? She gets texts from people, yeah. Can confirm, as someone who's met her, she is cooler than Dylan. Yeah, thank you, Dave. I've only met her once, and it was without Dylan even there. That's true. That's big facts, yeah. She said I was quiet.

You were quiet that day. You admitted to being quiet that day. I walked into the room trying to intimidate her. I walked in like that dude from the meme just looking around. Why'd you do that? Just looking around. She's a very nice young lady. I had a strong armor, dude.

I'm looking out for you. Were you quiet because you took an animal? I'm not just going to open up to somebody. You took some Delta-8s. Dude, make her earn it, man. You were super quiet. Dude, I took like Delta-9. Make her earn your friendship, dude. I know. I was like just going to open up to somebody. You took some Delta A's. Dude, make her earn it, man. You were super quiet. Dude, I took like Delta 9. Make her earn your friendship, dude.

I know. I was like, what are you bringing to the table? What the fuck's your problem? I brought a six-pack of beer. I didn't, actually. There's nothing doper than showing up with a sixer. Did you drink an EJ? Not yet.

You jerk. Dude, it's hard, man. You know, I told Dylan I was retiring from IPAs, and he brought me a four-pack of IPAs the other day. I did. I appreciate the gesture. What's an EJ? Also a large pizza. An electric jellyfish.

It's a jellyfish that has electricity running through it. It's electrifying. You thought it was Elton John, didn't you, you stupid idiot? Probably, because he's very underrated. Dude, people forget about his catalog, man. Slept on. Wickedly talented. Can I ask one question about another episode?

Whatever, dude. I mean, this is your segment, so yeah. Do they actually call Cum Rocket currency Cummies? Yes. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Have you exposed yourself to Cum Rocket? How many Cummies have you purchased?

No, I have no Cummies, unfortunately. I have not gone Cummy on it yet. Cummies is going to the moon, so. The freaking moon, bro. Did you see we went viral? I'm kind of refusing to diversify my crypto. I'm just sticking with my Bitcoin, and I'm just going to ride that. You know, Doge has had a week.

Yeah, I've heard that. I'm at the point with Doge where I kind of was with Keto at Grand X, where I just kind of hoped that it would all fail and like keto is actually terrible for you. Next thing you know, we're all peeping on keto strips. Do you remember when we were just at Grand X and like every single time, like I take my headphones off and it would be somebody be like, dude, like, so like I'm in ketosis right now.

I was like, oh my God, stop talking about ketosis. It's pretty much me. I'm so glad. No, it wasn't. It was like me, Jake and Dan. Dude, it was constant. It was just a constant dialogue about ketosis. Dude, did you check your ketones yet?

Dan was sitting at his desk with an entire HEB rotisserie chicken and a holy guacamole sitting next to it that he would just, like, bear paw the chicken from the rotisserie into the guacamole. And glazed donut-flavored protein powder. Say what you want about Grand X's spending. On the new office, on whatever it may be. But having a guy... The fact that we had a bathroom attendant who just handed you a ketone strip every time you walked in just seemed

really unnecessary. Yeah, I didn't find that. Yeah. I was never in ketosis. Who is your favorite guest host? Barrett or Dan? Was it Jack? You can say Brett too Didn't KJ fill in? KJ

KJ was the first I think it went KJ, Barrett, Dan, Brett I think I'm going to go KJ But I didn't listen to all of Barrett's episode And I didn't listen to all of Dan's episode either So I'm sorry A lot of people were saying KJ wasn't very good No, KJ's really good

Anytime KJ can cover for me, I'm happy I'd also like to confront something that was kind of mistaken on the podcast. Uh-oh. By whom? Me? All of you, actually. Yeah, I pee sitting down. I thought so.

I knew it. I knew it. That was premium content. Yeah. Why wouldn't you pee sitting down? Dude, I'm so glad that you're on this boat with me. To the people that are like, oh, is the splash that big a deal? Yes, it is that big a deal.

The bigger you get, the larger your thing gets as you grow older. As a kid, it's like, yeah, you're an inch above the toilet. You can go right in and there's no splash. I know you guys don't check Reddit as much as I do, but someone started a Reddit thread being like, basically, what's Doran's deal? And it was like he is this a bitters this dude really peace sitting down like just talking about how oh he called me he said it was a beta move like oh big bad man peace standing up oh look at you shut up dude i don't know it's it's how is uh how has your dad dick been affected you have to sit down you do yeah because it's just it's like it's a lot to handle

are you not if you don't think splashback is a big deal you're just lying to yourself have been affected? You have to sit down at this point. Yeah, because it's a lot to handle. If you don't think splashback is a big deal, you're just lying to yourself. Look at the rim of your toilet after you pee standing up and tell me it's just not covered with little droplets of piss. You know, I'm not going to completely disagree with you because there are some reckless pee-pee people out there, urinators. No, it's not just reckless. But I don't really have that much of a problem with it.

It's not just the reckless ones. I simply pee in the toilet. It hits the inside of the bowl and splashes up, Dave. No, it's not just reckless. But I don't really have that much of a problem with it. It's not just the reckless ones. I simply pee in the toilet. It hits the inside of the bowl and splashes up, Dave. Thank you. Thank you, Dylan. And sometimes your stream, like when your stream

starts to soften, all of a sudden, it can start going every which way. Mine doesn't. Mine's like a fucking laser. No. You know what I thought about?

No, it's not. I'm peeing ropes. No. Maybe our short kings, and I'm not trying to do like short shame at all. Maybe some of the shorter kings don't have the problem because it's not fallen as far and thus not creating as much of a splashback.

Wow. Wouldn't the velocity be more? I don't know. Wouldn't it reach critical mass right before? They used to call Randy like that for some reason. At home only, though, right? Yeah. It's a home-based equation. Yeah yeah i just peed it next to you at

the urinal like and there was a there was a perfectly good stall right there available oh no if there's a urinal i'm 100 peeing why didn't you just go in there and say that sally saw me standing up recently and she said why why are you standing up you never stand up you know what that's how often i sit down you can hold the baby and pp i could do that sitting down no that's what i'm saying oh it's much easier to hold the baby while sitting down. I could do that sitting down. No, that's what I'm saying. It's much easier to hold the baby while sitting down. I like to sit down and see if anything else is a Bruin.

That's the problem. It triggers that little mechanism in your head and it's like, maybe we could do this now. I don't want that trig. I want that trig every single time. I'm trying to clean the system out. I'm trying to be at my lightest weight at all times. I'm only doing like once a week. Someone said it.

You're just pooping once a week. Yeah. That doesn't seem like it's the move. I poop at 8.30 a.m. every single day. See, I'm earlier than you, but yeah. Within a five-minute frame. You shouldn't have told people that. It's crazy.

I drink my coffee so I can finally talk, and then I head to the bathroom. Yes. Can you imagine 8.30 a.m. on Dilly DeMaio, what that looked like? Oh. Get out of the way. You better watch out. Can I ask another question? I missed this part of the episode.

Who are Dylan's new friends? Is it just Bae's friends? Yeah, it kind of seems like he's commandeered her friends. Dylan's the guy that gets into the group and then takes the other friends. Is he a boyfriend chameleon? Yes. Have you seen Saving Silverman? Yeah. You know how he gets these uppity, other friends. Is he a boyfriend chameleon? Yes. Have you seen Saving Silverman? Yeah.

You know how he gets- Streamer him. He gets these uppity, cooler friends, and the other guy's like, wait, what the fuck? Why are you hanging out with these new friends? Yeah, we're familiar with the plot. Because you guys won't answer my shit or invite me to things. I'm like, hey, man, I got to hang out with somebody. Just Bay's got all these dope friends who have boats and shit, so I'm hanging out with

them. Is this because I didn't take you to the discotheca? Yes, dude. I want a friend who takes me to the discotheca. What are her friends going to do when they start listening to your podcast and they're like, damn, Dylan's just using me because I have a boat. He's trying to get thirst traps off underneath the bridge on Lake Austin. Oh, and not only that, yeah, they have boats.

Have you told Will what they drink on the boats? Or I guess better put, what they don't drink on the boats. Let's not get into that. Are they drink on the boats? Or what they, I guess, better put, what they don't drink on the boats. Let's not get into that. Are they drinking inferior hard seltzers? I have to convert them. I have to convert super fruit acerola. I will convert them. They probably just haven't tried it yet.

Do they know it's acerola drinking season? They're about to. What the fuck? I'm about to supply the whole damn boat with Vizzy, and their heads are going to explode. I still haven't gotten my Vizzy package yet. It's kind of upsetting, so I'm just buying it from the store. Damn, dude. The lemonade's hard

for me to find. It's my favorite. It's really impossible to find. The watermelon lemonade will change your life. Okay. Holy shnikes. Can you make Arnie Palmy with Vizzies? Probably. I'm going to try it. Damn. Ooh, I'm going to make an make an arnie dilly oh that sounds flirty

uh i have another question has randy gotten the job at dude perfect yet we're hoping we're really hoping he's doing it we're i can't disclose but they're more on that in the next few days okay just but he's he did a cover letter okay we've given him i helped him write it the liberties to go ahead and fluff his resume however he wants. Yeah, okay, and we'll confirm it? Yes, everything. We waived all the clauses in his contract that were standing in the way. He's gotten clearance to talk with the other parties and everything?

It basically says that he's our boss on his resume, and we're cool with that. We actually gave Randy a compete clause, not a non-compete. Because we want him. We want to encourage him to compete,, go work for one of our competitors. I want Randy to succeed in life. And honestly, I think Dude Perfect has a lot higher of a ceiling than we have at this point. I've also offered up, even though he's not getting fired, it would be a pretty hefty little severance. We're going to give him a severance when he's going to go work at a company that's more successful than ours.

And it's going to be pretty sexy. Financially speaking, that seems a little reckless. Well, we want him to have a good job. All right. We're going to get some – well, I don't want to count our chickens, but we're supposed to get a couple Nerf guns back in the deal, including the one that shoots the ball curve. Perfect.

You might shoot around a corner almost. Would you rather look over here and see Randy sitting at a desk or the Nerf gun that curves around corners? Do we still have video on the podcast? No. That's fine. It doesn't matter. We've got a sick Nerf gun. No one watches him anyway. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's like, big deal. What else you got? That's really all I

had. I mainly just had very big questions about your new friends because I haven't seen you reposting anything that they're posting of you or anything. So they're cooler than y'all they want to hang out and they have boats and shit so cool did you hear dylan's ben waball segment i don't even know what a ben waball is i just know it's a blink 182 song you don't want to know ben dave dave's gross i do want to compliment dave on your top five Blink-182 songs. Very happy with what you did.

I was expecting blowback. No, you had... Like I said, I totally agreed with three of those, which I think if I agree with three of those, that's more than half the list. Like, we're in a good spot. The thing about a list like this is that it's subjective, Dylan. You want to hear my top five Blink-182 songs?

No, I don't. Here they go. No, can you go on paternity leave already? And I'm finished. Gross. Cut that clip Hey What uh Yeah

I think we had some overlap Yeah I said that I didn't want to It would be really easy For me just to go on The Dude Ranch album And take like

Five songs from that Because it's my favorite album I think I took four from that When I did it Totally Shut the fuck up It's a sick ass album Hey man

You know a lot of people Like Blink-182 Okay Okay Dumb dumbs do because it's my favorite album. I think I took four from that when I did it. Totally. Shut the fuck up. It's a sick ass album. Hey man, you know a lot of people like Blink-182, okay? Okay? Dumb Dumbs do. Can I put out a PSA to listeners who tag me in Korn references? If it's Korn after 2001 or 2,

I don't know the song. I completely stopped listening to them so any of their new-ish stuff and like new-ish is like the last, I don't know, 18 years, I don't know it.

Dude, you got that new ish you know like some people say that for shit we can cuss on this i know but i was doing a thing what you just did just took so much wind out of my sails it's good to have you back you're the windy of this podcast good to have you back god it's just different when you're the windy of this podcast it's good to have you back god god it's just different when you're back shut up dude okay sorry uh so how has being a father changed you dude honestly i it was hard i feel like pregnancy was like more stressful than being a dad there's so much uncertainty in the pregnancy that i was like dude i don't know how i'm going to handle this like am i am i built for this the last month can i do it when you don't know how I'm going to handle this. Like, am I built for this? The last month. Can I do it? When you don't know. When you know.

I mean, it could happen any time. But you're, like, really on watch. Dude. And you're, like, can I go play golf in Manor? Like, can I be that far away? Like, what if, you know. It's miserable. Yeah.

Actually, having the kid is, like, okay, now I have a task in front of me that I have control over. But before, it's, like, I don't know what I have control over and what I don't. It's terrible. Maybe we should do a spinoff pod. Call it the Dadgum Podcast. I like that. I like that a lot. Or Daddick.

Okay. Not everything has to be a dick joke, Dylan. Dilly Day Mayo. I'm sorry. Dave's rubbing off on me. Bro. It's not a myth. It's not a myth.

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It's nice to get it right. I started laughing mid-read because this next segment title. Dude, why is Joe Biden so big? Giant Joe Biden. He's huge. Dude, it's not just him. I didn't know he was a man of such size.

Dude, it's Dr. Biden as well, all right? The first lady. Weren't you saying that she shouldn't be called Dr. Biden? Dude, stop. Wasn't that you? Let's not do that. Why do they look why do they look so big that like it's like they're gonna go raid a small fishing village like on the coastline

like don't old i know old people shrink but i feel like jimmy carter and his wife haven't like they'd have to shrink a lot here these two are gigantic it looks like they're in a dollhouse too it looks like uh the whole thing just blowing my mind i can't figure it out do you did did dr uh jill and joe did they uh they do the thing where they like reverse benjamin buttoned do they suck do they suck the size out of uh the carters and like to use it for their gain and now they're just growing and they can't stop growing like to the point to where they're going to be like 15 feet tall probably not i don't think that's what's going on here dave but um fucking b Andre the Giant here. He looks, yes.

Dude, his torso is the size of Mrs. Carter. If he stood up, what's Jimmy Carter's wife's name? There's a reason I said Mrs. Carter. Hey, Mrs. Carter, what's your name? If he stood up, she would be at his waist. Rosalind Carter. The top of her skull's hitting his belt loops. Either this is photoshopped or our president is nine feet tall and has been this entire time.

It's not. And here's the explanation. This is such a controversy that Twitter decided to put up like an explanation. Oh, wow. Thank you, Twitter. A wide angle lens in a tight space. Yeah, that space is pretty tight. Is the possible explanation for the outcome of the Biden's photo the possible? So they're leaving some room there.

I think this is kind of decorated like I don't think it's that tight it's kind of decorated like trash. Dude this place looks like my grandpa's place. I can smell this photo.

Look at the fucking picture frames. This place hasn't been redecorated in 45 years. Dr. Jill wore her finest lemon dress. Do you think she walked in and she was like

we're having a lemon party? Okay. It's not a lemon party. It's not a lemon party. It's not a lemon party. I've seen photos that look less like one. I mean, you're right. There's some of the indicia. I got to say, I want to know what those books are.

Is that like an Encyclopedia Britannica collection right there? They're having a cup of tea? Dude, we had... This photo just raised my taxes. Encyclopedia Britannica. I'm imagining Dr. Jill just dunking on Jimmy and him just like being so flustered after the fact.

She looks like they're so much taller. Oh yeah, they'd be a force in a two-on-two pickup game. Do you think Jimmy was like, hey, can I see, he's like asking for the phone,

like, can I see that? Do I look tiny in this? And they're like, no, we're posting it. Dude, if Dylan was in this, this is not getting posted. Dylan would be like, let me see it.

Let me see it. No, I look tiny. No, you gotta take this again. Unless I was where Biden was. Dude, let me see it. Let me see it. No, immediately. No, you got to take this again. Unless I was where Biden was. Then I would look massive. You know, Dylan, are you a fan of the Hobbit movies? You know I'm not. Lord of the Rings?

You know I'm not. You know when you have the regular characters? This is how much of a fan I am. I don't even know their names. But they go, and then there's the elves and the dwarves. The hobbits, I guess. This is what it looks like to me. i'll just stop bringing up lord of the rings i mean it looks like buddy the elf when he's sitting in class you know he's got the the giant

sized desk next to the little dude elves dr jill's taking you to the rack every time oh absolutely she's throwing it down on you yes windmill shit she's throwing that lemon dress down to the paint when she gets down on the paint she's a problem you just toss it into the post and she's putting in work are those red bottoms she's wearing i don't know i don't think they're red bottoms i don't know man good they could be can i say something that i'm not i'm not happy about saying it's kind of surprised jimmy carter was still alive when I saw this photo. I could have sworn I saw his funeral happen like 10 years ago.

No, but he still shows up to the funerals. Maybe that's why I was all confused. He's been to a lot of them. I think every time I see him at a funeral, I'm like, oh, he's still alive. Good for him. Good for Jimmy. Yeah.

He's hanging on, man. Hey, why do all old people's homes smell the way they smell? They smell like old. Like mothballs. I think it's mothballs. Okay, what are mothballs? And you just, like, sprinkle them around? What do you mean they smell like mothballs?

What are they? Does your house smell like Bay's meatballs? No, really. What are mothballs? They're balls of moth. What are they? They're little balls. They get a bunch of moths.

They obviously have to exterminate them. They roll them up into a ball, are they? They're little balls. They get a bunch of moths. They obviously have to exterminate them. They roll them up into a ball, and you put them in your closet. So it keeps the moths away because they're like, oh, shit, there's a bunch of dead moths in there. I'm not going in there. Somebody tell me what a moth ball is besides this smartass over here. I don't fucking know. I'm not 90 years old. I don't know what a moth ball is.

It's funny because I've heard people say, oh, it's the smell of moth balls, and I've heard it all my life, but I don't know what the fuck a mothball is. But why would only old people need mothballs? That's what I'm asking. Are mothballs a thing that you put in your place, or are they a thing that you try to get out of your place? It's like crown molding. What is a mothball? That's what I don't get.

What does mothball smell? Okay. Dude, I'm about to find out. There's a group of Texans that think crown molding has to do with fucking the things that you draw with. I kind of don't want to read the explanation because I want to keep the mystery alive. This is kind of fun. Do you want mothballs in your house or do you want them out of your house? I don't know the answer.

The pungent odor of mothballs is the very smell of storage made from either naphthalene or I can't say either one of these words. You are not a man of the doubt. What? Naphthalene or I can't say either one of these words. You are not a man of the doubt. These little lumps of pesticide give off a toxic vapor that not only kill moths and their larvae, but also kills or repels a number of other insects. There's a picture of an actual moth ball right here. It looks like heroin or something.

I don't know what this is. You've never seen heroin. Stop trying to act cool. What does heroin look like? You're not cool, bro. Small balls of chemical pesticideide, and deodorant. Okay. Why do only old people have these?

Dude, what if it's... I already asked that question. I'm on to something. Like, why don't we need something? Why don't we need that in our place? Okay, well, if it's deodorant, why not just have it smell like Axe? It'd be a lot more sick. Yeah, that's...

Great call, Dave. You think mothballs should smell like swagger? Yeah. Like, damn, it smells like a fucking party in here. I feel like I just blew so many minds with that definition of a mothball. No, if anything, I think people are listening to this getting stupider because they're like, how do these old men not know what mothballs are? I think they're fist pumping in their cars being like, yes, Dylan.

Yes. Randy Moth over here. He did it. He broke the code. You got moth. He broke the mothball code. You got jacked up. That house smells like mothballs, and you know I'm right.

So, like, if you turn the lights off till the mothballs go away? Mm-hmm. Out like a light. Excuse me. Try it again. Out like a light. Are you going to go to Astro World Fest or whatever? Yeah, dude.

They announced that's back on today. I'm going to Acerola World Fest. Really? I'm just going to Acerola World Fest. That sounds great.'t it sounds pretty chill i would go to that good acerola fest you see superfood all day long yeah thank you do you think do you think uh dr jill and president joe and the carters have ever had superfood acerola no do you think joe biden's ever drank a hard seltzer dude jim Jimmy wouldn't know acerola. No.

He drinks... He slapped him in the face. He drinks a Cutty Sark or something. Okay. You don't have to diminish his scotch taste. What is Cutty Sark? It's a scotch blend, dude. Oh, excuse me.

I don't drink blends, dude. I have, plenty of times. Does Bae have a blend you like? No. We had a couple glasses of wine last night. No big deal. Ooh. I thought you sounded a little...

You did have hungover voice. Late night dilly? I wasn't hungover. I'm not hungover. I could see Dylan having Dilly Day Mile be like an entire week long celebration, like his birthday. We're going big next year. Shut up.

When's your birthday? October or something? Yeah, 23rd. Hey, dude, you know like when somebody lives to be like 105 or something, the local news will go out and they're like, what's your secret? And they're like, well, I drink whiskey and I drink one high life a day. Do you think? I eat a full plate of bacon many times a day.

When it's us, they can be like, what's your secret? I have a busy hard seltzer every morning. I hate that. It's like, is smoking one cigarette a day the secret to health? It's like one old lady's like, yeah, I smoke one cigarette a day. Why is your

old lady voice so perfect, dude? I'm going to fucking die because of it. I don't cuss like that. I smoke one a day. They cuss so perfect, dude. I'm going to fucking die because of it. They don't cuss like that. I drink, I smoke one a day with some whiskey. They do. They cuss like that, dude. Wait a minute. They ban the menthol cigarettes.

But it's like. Sadly. That's not the key to life. Like, I'm sure she's doing other stuff in life that helps her stay alive. It's probably a lot of genetics. One of these stories, the dude just ate nothing but bacon, like bacon sandwiches. You know the Austin dude? The guy who's like a World War II fan.

Oh, yeah. He died. Did he really? Rest in peace to him but he was uh he was like i just drink whiskey all day and smoke cigars like okay so i guess we're all gonna start doing i guess i do i do that and i'm a degenerate piece of shit okay i had a gimlet this morning This morning. Fucking hit different. Dylan woke up in a gimlet. I don't even, I don't really get that. Gimsuit. While we're talking about Vizzy, let's just knock this out. Are we done with the Bidens?

Yeah, I'm done with the Bidens. They're just so huge. Why are they so big, though? Can we recreate that photo? They're huge. They're huge. Why are they huge? This Weekend of Fun, presented

by Vizzy. Oh, it's been so long since I've heard Welcome to Wilmont. I need to play that for my son. I can't believe you haven't. As always, This Weekend of Fun is presented by Vizzy. We love it. There's some other hard seltzers out there, but if you get caught with that in your hand,

you're tr-tr-tr-trash. Yeah, like Dylan's New Friends. Yep. I don't want, I have no new friends. I can confirm that I have no new friends, but I do have a lot of Vizzy's in my fridge. The option with something extra always makes your choice easier. And if it's got antioxidant, vitamin C and super fruit acerola, you

know that Vizzy brings something unique and delicious to the table. Go grab yourself a drink that can do both Vizzy hard seltzer. Dude, Dillon's New Friends only drink soft seltzers. Dude, what? Come on. Don grab yourself a drink that can do both busy hard seltzer. Dude, Dylan's new friends only drink soft seltzers. Dude, what? Come on. Don't do them like that.

They're nice. You guys are disgusting. They probably don't even know the different flavors that they have, like pineapple mango, black cherry lime, strawberry kiwi.

I'm about to rock the world when I bring just a load of busy over there. If you find a lemonade pack, will you buy one for me? No. No, seriously. Because I will buy it for myself.

No, just buy two. That goes for anybody in the company. I will buy two for me? No. No, seriously. Because I will buy it for myself. No, just buy two. That goes for anybody in the company. I will buy two for myself. Seriously. No, like, they're not... I go to the store, and I look at the case, and, like, the Vizzy's gone, and then there's a bunch of other trash ones next to it that are still there because everyone knows they suck.

You said it. Everybody except for Dylan's new friends. Yeah. Well, they're about to... Like I said. We're going to get, like, an invite on the boat one day, and they're just going to take us out there and kill us like big puss. They're going to be like, you guys have been talking a lot of shit about us on the podcast.

Yeah. You want a drink? Knock your knees out, say. Recreate that Sopranos scene on the boat, but instead of pouring him a drink, just hand him a seltzer. You're going to swim with a fish, I say. By the way, my new friends are not gangsters from the 1940s, just so you know. Or 1920s.

Or 20s. They probably don't have any antioxidants in the mix either, so that's kind of sad. But with Vizzy, you can enjoy a refreshment now with the antioxidant vitamin C. 100 cals. See, I like that there are 100 cals because it's easy to add up. It's like, okay, I've had- You have to do math when you drink. I've had 900 cals.

All right, I've had 1,000 calories today just from Vizzy alone. Yep. Drink responsibly. That's too much Vizzy. Dude, and the lemonade, they have zero grams of sugar per 12-ounce serving. I can't divide zero by 12 because it's literally impossible, but I think that's a good ratio. What's the value of zero? It's hard to say.

Have y'all tried the watermelon lemonade yet, though? My gosh. I've tried all of them, you idiot. You know this. I tried them before you did. Don't be stupid, Dylan. Upgrade your hard seltzer to Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy,

go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. Must be 21 or older. And if you are drinking some Vizzy this weekend, please tag us in it. And tag Vizzy as well. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? That's a fantastic question, Will.

We even want to know. Yeah, do I weekend? That's a fantastic question. We even want to know. Yeah, do I care? It's a fantastic question. I have a pretty dope little weekend coming up, actually. Friday night, I'm doing a dinner with Bae and my new friends. Actually, it's a work outing. You're working out? It's a work outing.

You're working out with her new friends. She has a work dinner. She does a lot of these folks. You made that clear. Yeah. So I'm hanging out with her work associates and some of my new friends. I don't even know where we're going. Somewhere cool, I'm sure.

Saturday. I think I hate New Dylan. No, dude. I've been dealing with this. Yeah. I hate myself right now, too. It's been really bad. He's so smug.

Saturday, it's kind of wide open, this. Yeah, I hate myself right now, too. It's been really bad. He's so smug. Saturday, it's kind of wide open, man. Well, I do have parks, so whatever I do will include the little guy. So that's TBD. Sunday is Mother's Day, and I'm taking Brittany and Brittany's daughter out to meet my mom at the ranch. We're going to the ranch. Did they get any hail out there? I don't believe they did. Cool.

And so my mother is super excited to meet Brittany. That was something we didn't talk about, the storm that was coming towards Austin, Texas, the day that I had to drive home from the hospital. Oh, hail no. Super fun. Nothing better than driving with your child in the backseat of the car for the first time with hail just impending.

Anyway. It's dry line season. It's going to be a nice little weekend, man. Excited for my mom and Brittany to meet. It should be good. Yeah, since we won't really have a chance to do this, let me just wish early Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there.

Of course. The Will mommies. We love all the mothers out there. The mommies. The moms. Especially our own, but we love all of them. I don't really have any plans. Micah hit me like an hour ago with the tea time.

Notice I wasn't on that text. I did. I didn't want to say anything. Notice I wasn't on that text when you mentioned Micah. That's not cool that you're already getting cut out. Hold on, let me. I got a text from my new friends, but not from Micah. That's interesting.

I'm sure y'all are going to go play like Austin Golf Club or something with your new friends. That'd be pretty cool. I'm going to be playing lines with Micah. Micah's going to be wearing basketball shorts. Yeah, I don't know. I might play golf with Mike on Friday. I hope so. We'll see about it.

Weather's been... Weather, man, it's been... Spring. This is a busy spring, man. Dry lines are popping off. It's a good storm. It was rainy for my entire leave. Yeah.

It rained the entire time. I felt like I was living in Seattle. It's kind of a good time to be coop rainy for my entire leave. Yeah. It rained the entire time. I felt like I was living in Seattle. That's kind of a good time to be cooped up inside, though, right? Yeah, unless you're me on my leave and the fucking world froze. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dude, what is it? We can't just have dope weather?

We all just get poured out? Dope today, man. Today's a great day. Yeah, I don't really have many plans. Maybe Will will invite me over to see Fritz. Where are we on the food train? Because I'm so... I know what I'm bringing. I don't fucking know.

Dude, you're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it. Not to stunt too hard, but I brought him Pine House the other day. Just saying. Oh, man, he's never had that before. Wow. Bitch. He was pretty appreciative of it, actually. Yeah, but you have to be. It's kind of like... I messed with one of the

slices, though. Just wanted... I wonder if he ate that one. What? Why would you do that? Yeah, that's super messed up. Dude, I like to play pranks sometimes. Yeah, that's messed up. Okay. Nah, I didn't even open the box, dude. No, I want to bring Valentina's over. I'll say it.

Valentina's. You trying to one-up me? No, I want to bring Valentina's over. I'll say it. Valentina's. You trying to one-up me? No, I just really, really like it. Valentina's wouldn't even be one-upping you. It would be just absolutely dunking on you. It would be Jill Biden-ing. Dr. Jill Biden-ing you. Okay.

Dr. Jill just hanging from the rim, Vince Carter style. But remember, I brought him exactly four EJs. So how many are you going to bring him, idiot? I'm going to get him a different J. Like a joint? It's going to be BJ's Brewhouse. Marijuana to the... I'm going to go buy BJ's Brewhouse, and I'm going to get him...

You're allowed to possess marijuana in Austin, Texas. It's illegal. Is it? Yeah, just not too much. And I don't think there's a good amount. A little bit decriminalized. I'm going to get Will an FJ. By that, I mean a Footjoy glove.

So when he does get back on the course, he's got a glove. He's gloved up. I want an FJ cruiser. No glove, no love. Anyway, I guess that's going to conclude my weekend. Will? Yep. Yeah, nothing big.

You know, just kind of putting in my time being a dad. It is Mother's Day on Sunday so I do have a Mother's Day brunch in the mix. Pretty excited about that. Another mom in the mix. You need to try peacock. We're doing some bagels. We need to do peacock's brunch. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, yeah, I'll be there.

I was talking to Will. It is what it is, dog. Do we have an F1 race this week? I don't think we do because we had two consecutive. It's unfortunate. I don't know. Dude, I'm looking forward to it now. There might be some soccer, but hopefully there's not an insurrection on the stadium again.

Or, I don't know. You guys talking about that on Too Much Dip or what? Yes. I think, yeah, we glossed over it, but we needed you on there. We dove in. Shit's getting hairy over there. Dude, I love it. And KJ just got me looking into the Glazer family.

Trash. Dude, I love it. And KJ's got me looking into the Glazer family. Trash. They look like Disney villains that have been living under a rock for like 10 years. Have you seen that guy's hair? There was a lot going on. Is he the dude that you posted with the... Yes, dude.

Just shave your head. What's he doing? It's disgusting. What's Fritz's hair stitch looking like? Man, so it's super blonde. There's a theory that it's going to turn red, but it's like I think it's going to go strawberry blonde, but it's really random that, like, we have a blonde child right now because we've got a redhead and a very brunette dude.

Yeah. I'm the very brunette dude. Strawberry blonde. That song stinks. Fritz to freeze. Dude, he's a handsome little fella, man. He's a good looking dude. I had the thought that it might go red.

Yeah, I think it's probably going to go red. Is that because his mom has red hair, David? That's a lot of it. Genetics play a big part. My mom has red hair. It makes sense that it would go red. Nancy's got red hair? Yep.

Shout out to Nancy. Happy Mother's Day. We've got love for gingers, man. Major shouts. Nancy's got red hair? Yep. Shout out to Nancy. Happy Mother's Day. We've got love for gingers, man. Major shots. She's about to be a grandma times two. More on that later. Oh, yeah. So, cool.

Yeah. Are we doing Brett's Breaking News? Should we get Brett in here? Hey, Bullet. Get that ass in here. What's he in there just not getting us F1 tickets for free? Dude, what's he doing? Why did we even hire this guy?

Yeah, I know. Brett's like, he's just botching it. Oh, look who decided to come in. Hey, we're not even recording. We were just hoping you could give us an update on the F1 stuff. Yeah, Brett, do we have any F1 tickets yet? No F1 news. Bird feeder's on the way, though.

Oh, we got a bird feeder sponsor. That's big. That's essentially going to an F1 race. Yeah, same thing. Did they tell you about that, Will? You're not flying any weather. Oh, wow. How's Will going to an F1 race. Yeah, same thing. Did they tell you about that, Will? You're going to fly in any weather. Au revoir. How's Will doing his first one back?

Like I never left. You have to listen. Like I never left. Like riding a bike for this guy, man. How about that? I don't know how to ride a bike. Will, since you're back, you're dead now. I've only offered the breaking news picks to dads before.

Now you are one. So this will be your choice. A little choose your adventure here. Would you like to go? New Houston residence, ghosting, or space wine? I don't see a scenario where I don't go space wine. That's fair. That's fair.

According to Yahoo News, space aged. Wine matured aboard the ISS, the International Space Station, is expected to sell for $1 million. $1 million. One bottle of Petrus wine. $1 million. Wait, what's the unit of coin? $1 million. How many Shatoshi is that?

That's a great question. Dylan would know. A Shatoshi is like.0001 of a Bitcoin. Okay, let's say I wanted to buy the space wine with Cum Rocket. How much Cum Rocket is it? How many Cummies? What's the exchange rate? How many Cummies for space wine?

I haven't been following Cum Rocket. What an idiot. The wine spent 440 days in space. I bet you it's trash wine, dude. I don't know. I don't know. It came back on the dragon capsule that Elon Musk... Isn't it supposed to be stored in a cave?

Yeah. Like Mayor Pete's in? Why is Mayor Pete in a cave? Remember when he got flamed for doing that launch? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did do that. Have you seen Mayor Pete at an airport, too? Or is that just other public figures?

I saw Beto. That's right. That's right. Very cool. In the Chick-fil-A line, and I will never forget this, or with his kid, and then after... He didn't get Chick-fil-A. His kid did, and he went to the Panera Bread inexplicably

and ordered something presumably healthier, but definitely trashier. He lost my vote. Hey, Beto, your approval rating just tanked. Lost my vote, sir. I can't vote for somebody like that. Go ahead, Brett. This is going to be, if it sells for $1 million, the most expensive bottle of wine ever sold.

That's kind of surprising. I feel like that's low. I have a bottle of wine at my place that I'm now selling for $1,001,000. Ooh. So if that sells, it'll be the most expensive one ever sold. Take that space. Duckhorn? I don't know.

It's the one that the bagger sent us that doesn't have a label on it. Dude, that shit's bomb. I finished that shit quick. Yeah. It's so good. Trey Fratelli. It's being sold through Christie's, which is an auction agency I've never heard of. Is that like a bougie one?

Christie's? Yeah, it's super bougie. I know Sotheby's, but come on. Oh, yeah. Sotheby's guy. Let me buy my art from Christie's, which is an auction agency I've never heard of. Is that like a bougie one? Christie's? Yeah, it's super bougie. I know Sotheby's, but I don't know. Come on. Let me buy my art from Christie's, dude. I buy everything via auction these days. I get my groceries. Dylan, you're big on ghosting, right?

Dude, I'm very anti-ghost. Anyway, you know Patrick Reed? I don't know him. Okay. I know who he is, yeah. His wife Justine, right? Yeah. Okay.

I know who he is, yeah. His wife Justine, right? Yeah. So it turns out that Patrick Reed is only with his wife Justine because Justine's sister, Chris, ghosted Patrick Reed. You following, Dave? Sounds like a love triangle. Justine was a freshman at the University of Georgia, and her younger sister, Chris, was at LSU.

Chris came to visit, and we went on one date, Chris, with Patrick Reed. He texted her, and she ghosted him. Damn, what's that like, Dylan? People just don't respond to your texts. It hurts, David. It really hurts. Silver lining, though. So thank you.

He's now a Masters winner. So Patrick Reed reached out to Justine on Facebook, who confirmed her sister was back and got frank with Patrick Reed about why it was probably not going to work out. So then Justine and Patrick started talking via Facebook Messenger, and the rest is history. Wow, it's a modern-day love story. I hate that story.

That story does kind of suck. That's gross. Patrick Reed, he texted Facebook to his sister, or her sister, and was like, hey, why didn't your sister like you? Dude, he's savage for that. Dude, he was down bad. Call him a down baddie. No.

No, we're not doing that. No, certainly not. Dave, you're a big fan of Houston, right? H-Town? Paul Wall? Yeah, sure. Their newest resident. Oh.

50 Cent. Fitty. Curtis Jackson. Moving to H-Town. What's going on there? Apparently they're filming some sort of crime series, docu-series. So he moves there? Just a series on doc.

Yeah, he's moving there. He's a method actor now, Dylan? So he's moving there. He posted a picture actor now, Dylan. So he's moving there. He posted a picture of himself standing in front of a dilapidated Astro dome with a Houston Astros hat on, which is weird because he's a Yankees fan. Yeah. And they don't have, you know, 2017. Yeah, they're beefing right now, big time.

Big New York guy. Astros are in New York. They're in the Bronx right now. Yeah, you hear the FL2 of a chance. A lot of boos. A lot of boos for the boys. They're coming to Yankee Stadium. They're in the Bronx right now. Yeah, you hear the FL2 of Hants. A lot of booze. A lot of booze for the boys. They're coming to Yankee Stadium. What kind?

What? What kind? A scotch. Can't be Sark, Will. Only the finest. Bootleg whiskey, you say? Let's blend. Blend it for me.

See you at Paradise, maybe. You've got to think he'll take a trip to Austin. T-A-R-A-D-O-X. Paradise, the strip club. Paradox. Was there... Oh, I have some for you, by the way. Really?

What about me, man? Yeah, you too. No, I still have... It's literally in my fridge. I have to bring it tomorrow. Not doing a whole lot of hell of a good in your fridge. Put it in my mouth, you know what I mean? My new friends, if they were to tell me they had beer for me, they'd probably just give it to me.

Your new friends probably fucking own Budweiser or some shit. Yeah, your new friends have wine cellars and shit. We wine cellars we're mostly of course i don't want to guess i don't want to hear it they're heavily they're heavily invested in some kind of upstart seltzer company maybe lame it's called like new friends or some shit stupid dilly dilly seltzer dilly soft seltzy dilly dilly that's the yeah right just going in this one i think no no no let's just do more story have you seen this one about kim and kanye on a jet ski dude how have more people not seen this it's crazy i can confirm it's certainly not them

certainly certainly not all right that's been. Shall we get out of here? Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.