Circling Back - Will Smith Headlines & Bit Madness Rolls On

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

Randy’s Two Year Anniversary, Dell Match Play, and more all get covered in Recapping This Weekend in Fun before we launch into a HEADLINES segment about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at The Oscars. And to close things out, we go through the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight of Bit Madness. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:00) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (31:15) Headlines: Will Smith & Chris Rock (47:00) Bit Madness: Sweet Sixteen (1:09:21) Bit Madness: Elite 8 Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM) Everlane: www.everlane.com/steam (10% off first order + free shipping) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Grammarly: www.grammary.com/steam (20% off Premium!) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer the only hard seltzer with vitamin c and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFries to my left. David, that boy. Rough. You know, we've got a lot to unpack from the Academy Awards from last night. I think we all know that. But, did you see a guy? Did you see a guy from a 1997 hit movie?

A hit movie called The Pest? John Leguizamo steps out there. See where I'm going with this? Johnny Legs? Looks great. Looks great. Just gets out there and kills it. And it just reminded me that we need to run back the stream room with The Pest.

We might get canceled if we talk too talk to you in depth about the pest if you if you watch the first three minutes of the past you will you will immediately wonder how it got made how there was no one telling him like hey that particular joke you just can't does it get better after that first opening scene never made it past it have no clue don't make it past the shower scene it scene? Never made it past it. I have no clue. Don't make it past the shower scene. It's hard to make it past the shower scene. But he is, yeah, he's in Encanto, correct?

He was Bruno, who we do not talk about on this podcast. He was? Yeah. He's still getting work done. That's good for him. Yeah, he's John Leguizamo. If you can get Johnny Legs, you get Johnny Legs. No one's calling him Johnny Legs. Yeah, J-L Leguizamo. If you can get Johnny Legs, you get Johnny Legs. No one's calling him Johnny Legs. Yeah, J-Legs.

Stop. And content went hard. Randy and I were talking our favorite Pixar movies the other day. You know what Randy's is? Cars 2. Really? Yeah, he's a big Cars 2 guy. What's yours?

Me? I think I went on record saying that my my all-time fave is probably ratatouille which was on this weekend i did catch a few minutes of it dude that rat can straight up cook yeah dude he's in the stew constantly just cooking just cooking can't believe that shrimp fried rice it was a rat not a shrimp oh fuck and he was doing French cuisine. He wasn't doing a lot of fried rice. Weren't they calling you John Legumzano after your lentil thing? I don't know about that, man. That's kind of a stretch, I think.

I feel like a lot of people at the match play were like, oh, Legumzano, what's up? I don't think that happened, man. I don't remember that happening. Fuck you, Legumzano. I wasn't working at Grand X during this time, but didn't you pitch instead of doing the TFM movie, they did Fratatooie,

where they tried to make the best party punch they could possibly make? That's not a bad idea. It's funny you say that. I would have watched that before the actual movie that was made. You know this better than me. Fratatooie was a username by a guy we went to college with. I did not know that.

Fratatooie. I'll tell you guy we went to college with i did not know that i'll tell you i'll tell you after this you need to give me some initial issues i jc jc shazay you guys went to school with a guy from in sync fuck we gotta we gotta take this out hey randy dump it randy dude that's so sad man come on what are we All right, Randy. I'm excited for today's episode. Randy, what's your favorite Pixar movie? Probably Toy Story. I don't hate that. Mine's Ant-Man.

Okay. I'm afraid to mix up a Pixar movie with the other one. Disney? Yeah. No. DreamWorks or whatever? DreamWorks. Yeah.

Is that Disney? DreamWorks? I don't know why are you afraid because people like oh you didn't grow you need to have a childhood you don't know what's what you're a dumb idiot like well i didn't think about that i was i was outside playing sports and like picking up chicks and shit i'm sorry instead of watching cartoons fucking dorks didn't you send me a video called Toy Story recently? It was only like six minutes long.

What do you mean? I don't remember that, man. What are you doing? Speaking of short films, I started watching this Pam and Tommy Lee doc, or not doc, but show. Nothing short about that one. It's weird, man.

A lot of gratuitous penis in it and uh terrible acting and some prosthetic breasts breasticles can you do that movie without showing a just a big old hog uh probably yeah because i mean that that's like the central the one thing people remember about pam and tommy that he has a penis. Is just, shockingly, and he's just very proud of it. I believe at some point he sings a song to it or talks to it, right? The first episode, I was like, okay, okay. No penis in the first episode. Second episode, it's just like 45 minutes of dong.

That's all it is. Just penis everywhere. That's why Randy liked it so much, I think. Didn't they get nominated? The Power of the Dong? i wish i knew the reference i want to laugh at this but i don't i don't know the reference okay she won best director the power of the dog jokes always crush when you have to explain them yeah that was good that's on me you fucking went off there i watched every movie that was nominated it's crazy i did that one year and this year i did something else i didn't watch any movies that are nominated um you saw you saw

don't look up oh yeah yeah i didn't see that yet that you didn't see that no it was just a lot of people a lot of people didn't want to look up remember when trump looked at the the eclipse all the time that was my favorite trump picture of all time they told everyone the one thing you shouldn't do is stare up at the sun and he just looked up better photo that or him yelling at the kid with the lawnmower on the white house lawn uh i think it's the i think it's him looking at the eclipse for some reason wait is that not a photoshopped picture is it is it i don't know context it just looks like he's yelling at a kid oh hold on i understand i mean i mean relatable it's just it's relatable to just look up at a at an eclipse when you're not supposed there was

always one kid in class when you made the shoe boxes and like they'd let you go out there that would just look up real quick yeah oh this and weirdly enough it was still the same kid who didn't he wore shorts during the winter time it's not photoshopped it's some kid was mowing the lawn and trump was out there just yelling at him wasn't me there's a video of it you know it wasn't me good grief yeah definitely wasn't will not that anyone thought it was you no that'd be weird if i was just mowing the white house lawn i have an announcement it's probably a good gig if you can get it i have an announcement go ahead i woke up with an ear infection. This ear right here, it's infected.

Just plugged? I woke up and I felt congested, so I did the little pinky check to see what's going on in there. And it's just moisture like crazy. I Q-tipped it. It was gross, man. I put some droppies in it. We'll see how it goes. Do we need to clean that ear out? Maybe. I got some stuff at home. I might need your shit, man. I put some droppies in it. We'll see how it goes. Do we need to clean that ear out?

I got some stuff at home. I might need your shit, dog. I could siphon it out if you want me to. I would love that. If you have a straw, I'll do it right now. My stuff's siphoned out. I get them once a year. This is normal for me.

Rank the orifices on the human body that you would least like to siphon from. I would probably start with the anus. Yeah, I'm starting with the two-s starting with the two shoot popular and then i think ear ear might be right above that then nose then mouth i guess though because we baby bird the homies so what oh uh urethra i believe is that the proper medical term what's that for? For the wiener hole. I don't have a hole in my wiener. I think you do. Anyway, we can move on.

This is a disgusting topic. David, what's wrong with you? You're the one who brought it up with my ear infection. Yeah, you went from ear infections to wiener holes. What's your deal? I was just announcing that I'm playing injured, and I want y'all to just factor that in you hit it well my performance this week you hit it well thank you is it draining you have drainage um no it actually feels fine right now i put like i said i put those droppies in there so we'll see

what were the droppies um just i i keep this like ear earache liquid on me oh you're ready yeah and i also have that in case it doesn't get better i also i saved some um I keep this ear-ache liquid on me. Oh, you're ready. Yeah. And I also have some. You pack that thing, too. In case it doesn't get better, I also save some prescription antibiotic drops, David. So I got the big guns on deck. Couldn't be me. I got the big guns on deck.

I'm solely probiotics at this point. Yeah, he's holistic. Sometimes you got to switch to anti. Keep the antis, dude. I'm pro. Sometimes you got to take them anti, dog. Dude, you have to consider what it's going to do to your gut bacteria. Yeah.

You ever thought about that? Well, it's just going to my ears. It's not going to make it to my gut. How do you know? It's all connected. It's all connected, dog. It's a system of tubes. It's not connected.

Who said that? Never mind. Tell us more about your system of tubes. No. I was thinking. My tubes. Man, we have a loaded epi today. We do.

Hey, why is that TV off? Don't worry about it, dude. Forget about it. That's interesting. We're going to need that out for Bit Madness today, Randy. This one's pointing at the corner of the room over here. God, Randy's just messing up everything right now. You had one job.

While Randy's doing this, let me just get some official biz out of the way. We got new Patreon episodes just coming out the wazoo lately. Randy's doing this, let me just get some official biz out of the way. We got new Patreon episodes just coming out the wazoo lately. Randy's game show was last Tuesday. Listener voicemails this past week. Our pipeline is back up. 888-618-4422. We've been doing dad pods, worst ofs. Tomorrow's going to be a little grab bag

episode as we've never had five Tuesdays in a month before. Let's get loco with it. You want to check the numbers on that? Are you sure? Shut up. Okay. No, we've probably done it before. Not in our current non-bachelor system.

You smell me? Okay. See where I'm going with this? I still doubt that's accurate, but we can go with this. Fine. We also have a new YouTube video. Go to the YouTubes.com slash wash media. Go check out our little video we put out last week of us playing Austin Country Club in the Dell Match Play setup.

More on that in a few minutes. If you go leave a review, we will read it on Monday's episode. You guys want to hear a couple of recent reviews we've gotten? Only if they're positive and about me. Well, there is one that is five stars, but it's not totally positive, I'd say. Okay? Okay. Okay.

Is it fair and balanced? And unafraid. It hard unafraid it hard to say it hard to say this one says i don't know what that one means this says you know what i'm saying came across this podcast that's weird and heard lentils might help me fight inflation thanks p.s dillian stinks oh god that's you didn't have to there. Why do people spell my name that way? This is from Thursday. It's from someone named Richard Suckington. I think that's his real name. Maybe.

What do you think his friends call him? Richard? Dickie Sucks. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Dickie Sucks. That's my mob name. The Dukies. I'm a made guy, though.

Dick Vitale. Hey, Dickie The Dukies Hey they did it Took down Arkansas How boring was that Elite Eight More on that later Hey Dickie We got this rival

We got this rival Mob on the On the scene lately We need someone who sucks Dickie We got this guy named the Siphon Who's just fucking everything up for us He's doing the Godfather

And mixing in like Three other bits They siphoning on my turf They Siphon who's just fucking everything up for us. He's doing The Godfather and mixing in three other bits. They siphoning on my turf? They siphoning my turf, huh? We need someone in here, and I thought Dickie Sucks was just a guy. You got to pay a tax. You know I'm retired. See where I'm going with this?

You got to pay a tax. Come on. Let me sweeten the deal. Let me sweeten the deal. I want 25%. You siphon on my turf? I want points on top of it. You siphon on my turf? You got to pay top of it. You siphon on my turf?

You got to pay. Come on. You follow me? One final suck, Dickie. Just one. Anyone sucking around here, it's me. You hear me? See where I'm going with this?

I want to get my beak went. Okay? That's a great thing. You guys. You guys. Well, did a lot. There was a lot of Richard. richard suckington ended up saying wide load awesome i have an internet party sized hole in my heart that can be filled through

bringing wide load onto the pot i think they're talking about john duda oh yeah this one's a flu this one's five stars but i don't know if you guys are ready for this someone is not a fan of someone in this room is it me it's probably me is it dickie this is from this is from someone whose name his username is all lowercase get lost and it says replace will oh what it's just not gonna happen said dude thinks he's hilarious hogs the mic won't shut up and constantly takes away from his funnier co-host well i think you are hilarious not just sometimes it's every single episode i've been listening for five years and it's only gotten worse i've been saying i'm gonna put both you guys in the top five funniest friend group he did say to replace me with either brett micah or dan

brett well two of those guys we have to shut up higher do you think that would be a weird dynamic if we demoted will and promoted brett it would be strange hey man i'm just to be clear i'm still taking my cut yeah you still you guys don't vote me, I'm still taking my cut. Yeah, you still are. You guys demote me like I'm still taking my cut. I think you're a funny guy. I think you do a great job carrying the podcast. The best ad reader maybe in the game. People are saying that. You do siphon the mic sometimes.

Dude, can't stop siphoning. That's not fair, man. Is that what it sounds like when you siphon? You don't have like a silencer? Well, if I made the noise that it sounds like when I'm siphoning, we might get kicked off iTunes. Anytime you have to sit out an episode, be it you're on vacation or sick or something,

it doesn't hit quite the same. Dude, you don't need to gas me up. This is just some random dude named Get Lost. I like to defend my friends. Hey, y'all wouldn't do it for me, but I'm still going to do it for you. That's right. Our final review says, Aces, just Aces.

After a fun and easy bull session these lounge lizards get a get a we'll get a wiggle on covering anything and everything that you need to keep hitting on all sixes perfect for the ritz or the gin mill you'll find that any dame or daddy nearby will be keen for an earful unless they make a habit of taking up wooden nickels i don't know what all this means what is this person talking about? I think they want us to read this in an accent, maybe from the 1940s. This person called us lot lizards?

Lounge lizards. Oh, very different. That's kind of tight. What kind of lizards would you guys be if you were a lizard? I'd be an iguana for sure. They just chill and hang out in tropical environments. This dude would be a chameleon but he wouldn't know it. Aww.

If I was a chameleon I probably would my color I would probably have a different perspective. Chameleons are cool, man. That sounds like a children's book. The chameleon

the colorblind chameleon that can't tell when he's changing. Eyes be doing this. They're fucking wild, dude. That's a cool little lizard. What do their eyes do? Like this. They go like this.

Their eyes be doing this. Is that right? They can point different directions and shit. You just can't do it, you dumbass. I can look in different directions. Well, I mean, your eyes follow each other. You know what I mean?

Like they're in sync. Like JT. Justin Timberlake is the reference. But a chameleon, their eyes work like independent of one another. Wow. Fucking sick, dog. See, I don't know. I don't know shit about lizards.

Or Komodo dragon. I'm going to start a lizard podcast. You're going to die from an infection if I bite you. I thought you were more of a lizard guy. Komodo dragon. Those are... I don't fuck with those, man. Komodo?

Yeah. They breathe fire. Yeah, you probably don't fuck with them because you don't live in an area where they exist. That's true. Don't they only live on that one little island? Komodo island? I don't live in an area where they exist that's true like don't they only live on that like one little island komodo island i don't know komodo island yeah they live on more than just one island i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure like they don't live that many places is it that one in michigan hard to say mackinac island yeah we have a lot of komodo dragons no cars but a lot of dragons southeastern indonesia sh. They live on only five islands in the Southeastern Indonesia.

What if someone just brings one to another island? And by the way, one of them is- You're recommending someone introduces an invasive species somewhere? Are you kidding me? We don't condone that. Apologies to whoever, whichever one of you two said the Komodo Island.

That is actually one of them, so. I said that. I'm good. Good guess. Big brain on me. Well, I didn't correct you because I thought that was actually correct. I'm good. Good guess. Big brain on me. Well, I didn't correct you because I thought that was actually correct.

I'm going to start a lizard podcast and then network. The islands are volcanic in origin, Dylan. Rugged and hilly and covered with both forest and savanna grassland.

Best of both worlds. Okay. You wouldn't last five minutes. You'll follow me? You'd get dragoned they're mean little fucks i'm not scared of territorial don't they isn't there isn't there slobber poisonous yes bacteria that's swag that is swag what what oh is that how the siphon meets his demise just get slob he tried to siphon after a komodo yeah no trots in the siphon meets his demise. Just gets slobbed. He tried to siphon after a Komodo.

Yeah, no. In the siphon community, everyone knows that you cannot siphon after a Komodo dragon. That's just siphoned. That's a big no-no. On those islands, everyone knows. You just leave the siphoning to the dragons. That's it.

Yep. Yeah, it's their territory. I think it's time to recap this weekend in fun. Presented by Roback. You guys know about Roback. Their swag. We saw them literally everywhere at dell match play this past weekend it was jarring how much roback like it's they've hit mainstream i used to be able to look around and be like oh there's a roback that's probably dylan oh no oh that's just some random dude just every other guy at the turn i told

dylan i said three years ago if i saw a ro, I would assume that person's a listener. I would be like, this guy might be a listener. Now there's so many, it's like, I wish they were all listeners, but they're probably not. Here's a little fun fact. Patrick Reed, who was not even sponsored by Roback, decided to wear a Roback polo. I mean, if... He wore the Texas one, the one that I famously am the model for. They probably want you wearing it more than they want him wearing it.

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. If you guys want to go to Roebuck and get everything on their site for 20% off, use Backer20 at checkout. It's a one-time use code, so make sure you just absolutely load that cart. Backer20 at checkout.

Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? Thank you for asking, Will. Friday, well, Thursday and friday but since we're talking about the weekend i went to the delmatch play we just talked about it great time weather was a little bit warm on friday but overall great weather weekend the vibes were on um scotty chef i like to call him took it home not a big deal what dave sorry you got something to say during my weekend of fun? Not sure It's probably me

I haven't checked it though We cool with them calling it A hometown tournament for him? Yeah why not Okay If they're gonna call Austin Stevie Ray Vaughan's hometown I think we can call it

Scotty Scheffler's That dude's I'm in on him I mean not just because He's a longhorn But he's just He's just a good dude, man. He seems like a very nice young lad.

Yeah, I like him. My wife, Alyssa, could not believe he's 24. Well, yeah, 25. He looks – She said 35. She said 35. Yeah, he looks – I was going to say 36. Quiet Friday night, really.

Quiet. Saturday, I had a birthday party to go to. My beautiful, lovely little niece quinn turned one quinning right um went down charlie charlie sheen dude her birthday party in the mic it's epic right yeah sorry go ahead no it's okay man just maybe get lost was right um that's such a thing to say Like mean old school thing to say Get lost

Hey Hey, how's that bricks, man? Kick rocks All right, all right Parks was a little under the weather So we just cooled it for the rest of Saturday Didn't really step out too much I made him rest

Had a slight You need a rest day sometime Slight fever on Friday Not a big deal Watch out, man Flu is going around And then Sunday Great day

Had a little bike ride Bay and I stepped out for a little brunchy Watch out, man. Flu is going around. And then Sunday, great day. Had a little bike ride. Bay and I stepped out for a little brunchy. We hit a patio and drank a bottle of Savvy B. Will, you know what I'm talking about. Drank a bottle of Savvy B. Just a lot of abbreviations. Vibes were just on point all weekend long.

It was just a great weekend, man. Honestly. Wow. Congratulations. Yeah. Well. It was just a great weekend, man. Honestly. Wow. Congratulations. That sounds like a great weekend. I'm going to do something Dylan didn't do. I'm going to start Thursday night. Thank you, Dave.

Thank you, David. For Randy's two-year anniversary at am I allowed to say it? This is going to conflict with the sponsor. He went to Longhorn Steakhouse in Sunset Valley, which is a neighborhood of Austin. South Austin. I think Roback will be okay with you repping Longhorn Steakhouse during this ad read. Let me tell you.

I don't think they have a lot of competition amongst the two. You never know, man. I think I might have won with my order of the outlaw ribeye 20 ounces you did it was good i enjoyed my steak and i enjoyed going to a steakhouse having a good steak and not looking at the bill and being like all right hold on i had an excellent time randy you did a great job of uh picking the place and nailing your little bit. I think you should leave bit. Your little bit. He did dangerous nights, Drew. Don't demean his bit like this.

He crushed it. He did a great job. I had an absolute blast. So Randy sent me. I checked. I don't usually have my phone out on the table at nice steakhouses. That's not my thing. It's not.

Got to put the phone away. Shut up. And Randy, i picked up my phone before the appetizers even got there and i had six text messages from randy being like i need you i need you to take your phone out right now and i had no clue what he was doing but he said once i when i'm gonna text you from the bathroom and once i do i need you to start recording and i did and sure enough yeah he came out exactly exactly like you'd want any member of your Dangerous Nights crew to roll out. He did a wardrobe change in the bathroom.

He sat down at the table to start the meal wearing something. I did think that he was wearing quite an aggressive shacket when he came in. I was like, man, this is a bulky shacket that he's wearing right now. I genuinely thought he just bricked it when he walked out. Really? When he came in, I was like, was like oh man i was expecting a little bit more from randy but he made up for it we need to start doing all of our company dinners at longhorn steakhouse like dave said the bill was like it was a nice touch uh it was great

shout out to the tonyan did i eat too much of it before everything came out yeah i did you totally filled up on tonyan I did. I did. A little ton-ton. Dude, I was siphoning red wine, just full-bodied red the whole meal. We had multiple bottles. Bottles were flowing. Hey, what did you do with that bottle, Randy? Gave it to Dylan.

Oh, you did? Good. I'm glad I went to someone. Thank you for that, Randy. That was big. That was clutch by you, man. I've established myself as the wine t the uh wine taster officially of wash media as waitresses just default to me every time they need someone to taste the wine because you have

dad vibes yeah they think you're the dad of all of us our poppy uh oh you know what else i did all weekend i sipped on some of that california gioso wine wine, to be exact. Very good. We finished the bottle. It's excellent. We're out. It's excellent. Didn't stand a chance.

I haven't popped mine yet. I'm very jealous. I got one on deck. Shout out to the family. Saving it for a special occasion. Again with the abreeves. So Thursday and Friday, we do it the day. We went to the Dell Match Play.

Great time. Shout out to all the listeners we saw. Shout out to everybody who hooked us up with uh passes mainly uh our buddy ben um giving us access to feel like we're cool i love i love just just eating sausage and drinking ranch waters under a tent yeah love it yeah for sure saturday night didn't do anything sunday yesterday um oh you know what saturday my wife went to a distillery you ever heard of desert door i have heard of that so tall they do the so tall i don't know what so tall is still but i've heard of desert door it is it is similar to tequila and mezcal it's in that vein of plants. She went out there. She brought home a bottle. When I talk to baddies, they're like, damn, daddy, you so tall? Really?

I'm like, yeah, I'm 5'11 and 3'4". That doesn't work anymore. Short king summer. That's true. Short king spring. Spring. Feels like summer. It really was hot.

I got to stay home with Rhodes and Randy. And we did a little trip to the park. Posted an Instagram story at DC Rough. It's not there anymore, but you can still go follow me. i got to stay home with rhodes and randy and we did a little trip to the park posted a an instagram story at dc rough it's not there anymore but you can still go follow me and uh had a good had a good time it is fucking hot not ready for the 90s i am absolutely worried about the grid this summer i'm worried about how dry it is i do not want a repeat of what 2011 summer which fucking sucked 10 i'm i'm worried about it but that summer stunk baby it's hot and um swamp ass season so be aware we're worried about uh our wedding being too hot getting married till 10 30 in the morning it's hpo 10 30 it's gonna be perfect

i hope so dog sun's gonna be shining might need to be 10 30 that's what i'm telling you protect you from the sun we had one booked good but i don't i hope we don't have to use it be coleman or what joe go to dicks or academy no it's just a service listen to what listen to this man dislike hospitality service who rinses these things out white glove you have to if you're gonna cancel the tent be like for weather you have to do it 14 days in advance which is a very strategic number because no one knows what the weather's going to do 14 days out i hate this place anyway keep going will give us yours well you just he hates this place. I hate this place.

Yeah, you know what? I'm not even going to talk about my weekend. Fuck this place. Yeah, what's their name? Let's go talk to them. Let's go to my pro street right now. Oh, so it's the tent place, not like- The tent place.

Austin, Central Texas. No, no, no, the tent place. Okay. Yeah, if you're going to cancel because the weather's nice, you got to do it 14 days out. Like, no, that's a very arbitrary number. Like, go F yourself. I didn't say that but villain don't care at home i might i might cancel him dog no your boy just went off yeah as we know

randy's two-year anniversary dinner was an absolute movie uh but yeah i didn't i had my cousin in town this weekend she came down to uh go to the golf tournament see my my son fritz and we just did some hanging we did a lot of uh a lot of eating at a lot of restaurants this weekend i hit everything why you say it like that everything we did sway you ever heard of that sway sway tie highly recommend is that the one here yeah did that the other day you got to be careful they got some spicy stuff on their menu your boy was sweating we were just talking about that did you pop a molly first is that why no i didn't do any molly before i went out to dinner with my cousin just just mega spicy oh and then uh yeah just kind of a chill weekend uh did had some of the best fajitas in austin texas you ready for this la pasina we've already talked about it before

the swimming pool that's what that's what it's called yeah translates to i don't like to recommend high-end tex-max normally but like they do have the best fajitas in austin and i have i have no no way of like there's no disputing that it's the best la piscina lupe right underneath i think number two yeah that's fair that's fair yeah and yeah i don't know it didn't do too much no soccer on this weekend it's it's just been tough you know it did watch the u.s men's national team i'm talking club football dave not talking uh you know american soccer but yeah u.s had a big game last night i know you guys were watching i was getting into the group text i always put out like just things in the tmd group text just being like hey fyi there's this really big game that's going to be on fs1 in a few minutes maybe if anyone wants to hop on with me no one ever bites you

guys always just ignore i was i was following it i was following it once i saw i was happy that we won man i'm sure you were dude i wasn't i really was world cup's fun when the world comes to the usa and in uh four years are you guys gonna go to games where's it gonna be everywhere oh it's just like michelle branch style that's sick uh i'll go to a game they're gonna be i think they're gonna have two locations in texas i think both houston and dallas yeah facts nrg as well as jerry world so but what are the chances we get to see the u.s play not great i don't know okay well those tickets will be through the roof either way but if you have the opportunity i would say that seeing seeing your home team on your home soil in the world cup is probably a bucket list moment if you get

them if they're through the roof like who's who tracks those down i don't know we need jerry to do a retractable roof he never opens that thing retractable we're gonna go to some games oh we really need the uh the windows the windows with the sunlight beaming through to like interfere with a world cup game yeah like the world like the u.s is going to be in a pivotal game to move on and then like the sun hits wrong and like polisic sky's a penalty because he had the sun in his eyes that needs to happen no it doesn't that would be sad i want us to lose but i just i want more people to realize how stupid that place is uh but yeah i didn't do too much just just vibed out all weekend with the fam it was fun anyway let's talk about our friends over at everlane real quick we all have i'd say that

you know we hold ourselves to a a high level on this podcast you know we like things that are sustainable dave is always doing his uh recycle reduce reuse kind of thing love it you have to stick to what's important to your very core. It shows everything. It shows in everything that you do. And Everlane, they're committed to doing the right thing from start to finish. And that means partnering with ethical factories to ensure every piece of clothing looks and feels great for years to come.

We've all gotten a lot of stuff from Everlane. I've been shopping with them since before they're even sponsored this podcast. And I have to say, all of us seem to be very smitten with our items, especially Bay when it comes to dylan's jeans oh she gets so handsy one on me when i when i throw those jeans i get it dave are you rocking some e-waves right now i am just reaching i mean these guys got everything from staples of your wardrobe like you know crew neck sweatshirts they got some hoodie boys too i love my hoodie from there you've been talking it up big time i liked it so much that my most recent order from everlane included even more of them.

So I'm very happy about that. They've got some snakes on there that I've been eyeing big time. They've got everything. But their clothing is just part of the equation because they've got their ethical factories, quality materials, and transparency and production costs for every item. It's a very unique company in this sense, Dylan. Right. I wish you understood that. And these are trend proof.

Say goodbye to unsustainable fast fashion. in this sense, Dylan. Right. I wish you understood that. And these are trend-proof. Say goodbye to unsustainable fast fashion. Everlane gives timeless designs and closet staples all the real estate that they need. Just make it happen. Each garment's made from the finest materials like grade-A cashmere, Italian leather, Peruvian Pima cotton. You only get your stuff from Peru, right, Dave?

That's right. I got a Cousins and Customs that gets stuff through. Really? That's hard. You following? And they have true cost of transparency. You have the right to know the actual price of making your clothes, and Everlane shows you the cost behind the production of every single piece,

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Everlane, ethically made, sustainably sourced. I think it's time. Headlines, headlines. We're going to do some original headlines. Dude, that sounds great. Headlines, Dylan. That is so headlines. Dude, that sounds great. Headlines, Dylan. That is so electric.

Dave, you crushed that. Some people say it's the most electric intro music in the game. Yeah. It really gets you going. I was really just psyched up to do it. So how does this work? What are we doing? Everyone knows what headlines is.

Yeah, Dylan, they can kind of understand. We used to work for a blogging company. We used to blog all the time. And the most important, everyone knows it that the most important thing of any blog post is just a hella clickable title. And because we don't get to do that as much anymore and because it was so much fun coming up with those titles, we've decided to do a segment where we sit around and we make up fake titles for something that might have happened in pop culture. Let me think. Did anything crazy happen this weekend in terms of pop culture?

I missed it because I was watching Tommy Lee's Dong on Netflix. I saw that Timothee Chalamet did not wear a shirt to the Oscars. Should we talk about that? Dude, there's five times he was all of us. No shirt, no shoes, no Oscar. Wow. Hey, I'm a dong? Is it a real dong? Or is it prosthetic is it prosthetic no thank you for asking dave i don't know you're gonna keep bringing it up i need to know i'm

pretty sure it's prosthetic pretty sure like we got like a boogie night situation oh yeah it's here that thing yeah buddy with all these with all these uh allergies flying around i've had some boogie nights lately what do you mean oh boogers i'm just hella congested all that booger sugar yeah reminds me when we played night golf bogey nights that's what we called it because we're not good at golf suck i suck you should just do i have a couple here i feel okay about and a couple that i'm like hold on what are we talking about so last night um chris rock who i believe i don't even know i guess he just has a new album out did he host or just present it presenting best documentary he presented best documentary thank you david uh and he he did a little light roasting of the crowd which is you know oscar's custom hey busting balls right busting

balls and uh went in on will smith a little bit and made a comment about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, about her hair loss. Looks like she had a buzz head. Not sure what's going on. He said he can't wait for G.I. Jane 2. Of course, a reference to the seminal 90s hit starring Demi Moore. Demi Moore. Ooh, a fox back in the day. Maybe still is.

Probably still is. Will Smith appeared to think it was funny at first. Definitely laughed at it. And then charged the stage. And what happened next would shock the world, folks. Yeah. He open-hand slapped Chris Rock. Pretty violently.

Yeah. And then he went and sat down and yelled at him he kept going and said keep my wife's name out your effing mouth bleeping mouth shout out to our friends in japan and australia who immediately posted the uncensored yeah and the full audio to twitter y'all the real ones yeah that really helped like because there was a second where i was like this is this this fake this like, is this fake? Is this a work? Once I saw the back and forth, and then once Chris Rock tried to carry on and do the award.

He was rattled. I was like, dude, you can't fake this. It's hard to compose yourself after something like that. He did a really good job. Honestly, he did as good of a job as you can do after getting that. Has he spoken up via social media or anywhere else i don't know i saw that he's definitely not pressing charges honestly like if will smith slaps me and i'm presenting at the oscars i'm probably not pressing charges either like the damage has been done he didn't go down he ate that punch

like you know he should feel good about his performance nothing on twitter from oh he hasn't yeah he rolled with it yeah yeah not Yeah, not a big Twitter guy. Twitter, I only saw Twitter at about 2 a.m. when I woke up with my son. And, I mean, the takes were out there. People had their take cannons out, and they were just spraying. Yeah, this was polarizing for some.

Some people was like, oh, yeah, good for Will Smith defending his wife's honor. But, you know, to get violent in such a way, probably never a good idea. Especially when, like... It's Chris Rock. I don't know. I think these... She thought the joke was funny. I think these stand-up comedians, I think they needed the reminder that they can just have a slap happen

at any point. We should point out that she has alopecia, which is, of course, the hair loss condition. I don't know much about alopecia uh we talked earlier but my main point of reference is charlie villanueva yeah former uh android piston yukon husky i believe so yeah that's right in dallas maverick for one season actually not that bad coming off the bench honestly all it takes is like just my history of char Villanueva to be like, I'm riding with anybody with alopecia at this point.

He was a bucket. Worth noting, Chris Rock at that point wasn't exactly killing it. I didn't think his jokes were that good. I don't think that's that good of a line. Yeah, she's bald. That's crazy. Well, he had to go deep into the memory bank to find G.I. Jane. Yeah, do you think that's a reference that landed with people

like younger than us i i know gij but like i knew gij was a thing i don't think i ever saw gij because i think i was too young to care too frantic tftc you ever see striptease with demy more nope yeah pretty good well i've seen it on mr skin i watched like a couple scenes who won best doc last night i don't know should we just do the headlines yeah well hold on yeah i have a terrible one that i can start off with can i start off with my worst one can i get my layups out of the way too yeah let's get our layups out of the way and really just get warmed up in the bullpen right now yeah she can

get you want to go? No, you can go. Go ahead. Chris Rock and Will Smith got in one little fight, and we all got scared. Watch the altercation here. I no longer want to do this. Yeah, you just ruined the segment. I know.

I know. I've got between Chris Rock and a hard place. Will Smith defends Jada's honor. Not that great. I'll start with my best. The Fresh Prince of Dead Air. That was awkward. Chris Rocked.

Star of Grown Ups gets open hand slapped by Will Smith. Star of Grown Ups. That's where you went. Okay. Okay. That's decent. Sure did. that's where you went okay yeah okay that's decent sure did my final my final uh layup is uh more like best smactor will smith puts five fingers to the face of chris rock smactor

yeah that's not awesome dude he's the best smactor all right here's dying over there chilling out maxing relaxing all cool man that will smith will smith slap look like it hurt okay do you want to redo that one i feel like your delivery wasn't ideal chilling out maxing relaxing all cool man that will smith slap look like it hurt go ahead dave save me on this one um sorry i gotta bring it down a little bit the will smith doctrine has no place in ukraine stop that is the worst headline why is this happening so that is a real headline that is not an original somebody wrote that column today you're the first person to ever do real or fake headlines it was not vice it's an outlet that i'm unfamiliar with but

the guy's getting the guy's getting ratioed man let me tell you i had from hancock to hand rock will smith's journey to best actor here's one now this is a story all about how will smith's left the fuck out of chris rock wow okay this dude's been in the lab yeah i was cooking this morning from nip slips to pimp slaps, this year's Academy Awards were a hit. We saw Venus Williams' nipple. I missed that. I missed it all, to be honest. I didn't even see the slap live.

I'm sad. I fell asleep on the couch watching Too Hot to Handle. You're about this Pam and Tommy Lee doc or show? Stop calling it a doc. It's just straight up not a doc we saw the doc okay i'm going out on a limb on this next one and i'd like to apologize in advance okay i'm gonna sing real quick and i i'd like to pre-apologize even though i already apologized okay how could you be so hairless? Will Smith had his Kanye moment

Defending Jada's alopecia What song is that actually from? Heartless by Kanye West How could you be so There's levels to this I was trying to think of a Will Smith song As he is a musician Will went a different way

I went with a Kanye song because Kanye is notably The one person who's gotten on stage and really raised hell during an award show. Here's one. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Hit it. Y'all see Will Smith's left the bejesus out of Chris Rock last night. You didn't even get the na, na, na's correct.

Like, you tried. Yeah, I did. It goes na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. No, you're adding Yeah, I did. It goes, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. No, you're adding an extra nah. Nah, nah, nah. No, Dylan, you're not doing yourself anything. Here, do Careless Whisper again. It goes, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. All right. No, no, no, no. You're adding an extra. Why? You don't need to add the extra nah. Dude, you're...

I crushed that headline. You did, but extra. Why? You don't need to add the extra nah. Dude, I crushed that headline. You did. Stop the bleeding here, Dave. Will Smith wins Oscar for The Pursuit of Slappiness. That's good. That's good. Of course, a reference to The Pursuit of Happiness. Hold on, Dave.

People will love this. Thank you, guys. Anyway, you see this Jesse Plemons guy? All right. I'm out of headlines. Alopecia? More like, hello, piece yeah if you're will smith at the oscars oh that was wow that's the one wow wait why why and uh why the voice change why yeah why the accent most headlines don't have accents because he won he won for that tennis movie and he was kind of channeling uh wimbledon oh that's a good call yeah that's a good way to weave it in yeah damn chris rock you just got

hitch slapped of course a reference to the will smith movie hitch yeah i like that i like that one i have my final one how many do you have left dave two here do do one more and then i'll do mine and then you can you can put the cherry on top Hancock to Hancock Will Smith won an Oscar But lost his dignity He kind of did that one We got close You ready for my final one?

Yeah Do it again daddy Did Chris Rock get rocked up After Will Smith slapped? What? What are you doing? Dude, I think he kind of liked it. I don't think he liked it.

I think he was pretty embarrassed. Dude, I think he was not erect. I don't know. I think he was embarrassed. Have you looked at his pants when he was trying to... It's tough to tell. Did you look at his pants, David? No, you know.

All right, I got one more, and this is... I don't even want to do this one. I don't like the way you work it. No dignity. Will Smith, you got to bag it up and leave okay no diggity what there's really no tie-in with i was gonna say it was black street a part of this it was just in my head earlier okay when i was taking a shower okay sometimes i listen to music and that my friends is Headlines. Did I low-key win that?

I think I did. Headlines. Headlines. In your mind, you definitely did. We're going to do some original headlines. Now, this is a story all about how- Dude, that sounds great. Will Smith slapped the fuck out of Chris Rock.

Like, that's gold. What was your one with Bejesus? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Oh, yeah, that one. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Dude, how, that one. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Dude, how are you so bad at nanah? I hated Jelsea. He got that one.

Will Smith slept a bejesus out of Chris Rock last night. His emphasis is on the wrong nanahs. Yeah, you're struggling through it. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Getting jiggy with it. You got that part. You did.

Honestly, I don't know. You're definitely not getting jiggy with it right now, though. I feel like I did a really good job on that. You would not have made it as a no-limit soldier. I thought I told you. I'm a no-limit soldier. You'd have been like, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.

Make him say, uh, uh, na, na, na, na. Master P would have been like, dude, you got to go. Na, na, na, na. You got to get out of here. Will's like, what is he singing? Soft ass. Listening to James Blunt shit back in the day. Should attack on Will.

James. You don't know shit about. You can't just turn on us around. What do you know about Master P? Nothing. You turned on him. Jeez, dude. You don't know shit about Master P.

Keep going with your fucking shit. What? The show? I'm sorry. What if I turn. Dude, you. Will, you need to get lost. Like, dude... Like, damn! It's a tough day to be big to

Freezy in the stew right now. I'm sorry. I have to apologize. I was uncalled for. God. I'm taking L's right now. I'm sorry, man. God, I didn't even tell you guys about the l i took this morning i was taking rosie for a walk and i stepped in some dog doo-doo luckily though i was wearing

some rothies and these things are washable as heck did you really step in dog you just set up for this no i did earlier this weekend but i actually wasn't wearing my rothies which was actually a blessing because i recently washed them and i didn't feel like doing it again but that's the beauty of this you You can wash these shoes. Yeah. Yeah. They're sick. You guys have all heard about Rothies. They're,

they're, they're the, one of the only shoes that I've ever experienced. You can take directly out of the box and have no issue with the comfort. So when I was packing for a recent Vegas trip, I was thinking like, a, I need to look dope.

B, I'm going to be doing a lot of walking. And so Rothies obviously came to mind and I packed them. They were calling you Christopher in Las Vegas'm going to be doing a lot of walking. And so Rothy's obviously came to mind, and I packed them. They were calling you Christopher in Las Vegas because you were just doing so much walking. I should have hit the strip in my Rothy's. They were. You did do a crazy amount of walking. As one will do in Las Vegas.

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I think I don't know that. Do you even know what Portobello is? You're an anti mushroom guy. You know, I love those Portobello's. I had a Portobello's cheese steak over the weekend. That's swag. There's steak on it.

Say goodbye to the break in period where you usually have to go through with other shoes because they're soft, flexible material combined with wildly comfortable insole makes them seriously one of the most wearable shoes right out of the box like i just said and they're designed to be incredibly versatile which means you can rock them with a suit a pair of sweatpants and everything in between and if dirty sneakers are your greatest pet peeve rest easy rothy's shoes are 100 machine washable thanks to their sustainably made material so you never have to worry about drying they're dirtying them up.

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That's $20 off at rothys.com slash steam. It's time. Oh, Bit Madness. Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-madness. You guys familiar with Madness? It's Bit Madness.

Yeah. Oh, how's that Madness? I used to love that song I still do It's a great tune Just fun when you hear it I was thinking of the Muse song Oh okay

Yeah Dylan's checked out for the show here I just don't follow I was actually amused one time We all started talking about music I don't know about Oh really? Wait hold on What were you amusing? jam yeah i have an uncle jim and now we'll

now be calling him uncle john yeah how many uncle jims out there taking l's uncle john i got that that's so fucking what were you watching before the show an interview with her yeah she did an interview on the red carpet last night that is and she said that her uh forthcoming novel her book i don't know if it's a fiction or non-fiction but uh she said currently it's a masterpiece wait so she's just calling you can't call masterpiece mid mid book no she said she didn't want to jinx the rest of the book for fear of like because she's superstitious okay jacks but she did go as far to say that currently it's a masterpiece yeah just saying kind of like this episode so she's a no limit soldier as well if she's just putting out masterpieces i thought i told you not to

diminish her career but how did she get invited to the academy awards was she in something i think she hooked up with kanye west but he wasn't there i mean they're not dating anymore. Maybe they have an open thing, like Jada and Will. See, I tied it back to the previous segment. Yeah, that's facts. You follow? Will also met with the young man, the singer, August Alisna, who Jada was having an affair with. Is this Will or Will Smith? No, Will DeVries.

That would be weird. If someone makes fun of my wife's alopecia,'m probably gonna get worked up enough to want to slap him i'm not saying it's right but like i could see myself getting worked up enough if it depends on the setting yeah if like we're if we're at like dinner and you're just throwing around jokes and you're just taking a shot like i might like you might get slapped i might walk up there with a buddy in like tabletop chris rock yeah but I don't think I would slap him. What did you think he was going to do? I thought he was going to pump fake him and then turn around.

I wasn't watching it live, so all I heard about was this dude rocked him. I thought he was going to give him like a... What if Will Smith just stood there and was like, no, I'm going to chaperone the rest of your set right now. If you say anything fucked up, I'm going to fuck you up right now. That would have been hard. He just puts his hand on the back of his neck. No, keep reading, Chris. Keep reading, Chris. Somebody on the back of his neck. No, keep reading, Chris.

Keep reading, Chris. Somebody squeezed the back of my neck. That was my kryptonite. That would have been like belittling big time. I like that move. Keep going, dog. I hear you. No, everyone's laughing.

You got any more funny jokes? Everyone's laughing. Mr. Funny Joke Guy. Just more proof comedy's dead. Thanks, Cancel Culture. Dylan. It just looks like he's like the doll, and Will Smith is just working Chris Rock the entire time.

I think he should have gone down like that. He really slapped him, didn't he? He got him with the upper part. He didn't get him with the bottom part of the hand. He connected, though. You did connect. And he put some oomph behind that one. If he hits him with the hard part of his hand,

Chris Rock's not eating that like he did yesterday that's that's maybe fall down maybe instead just walk backstage like i mean i i hate i hate to condone violence but i'm glad that he did slap him because if it was just a verbal altercation like it would just be way less fun he's just i just i can't i can't condone it's just a weird guy him and tom cruise both uh i don't know jada was rumored but she she took a pretty she took a pretty staunch uh opposition to being a scientologist at one point she said that she like dabbled in it and like went through some stuff but she said that she's never actually been is that something you can dabble in like i feel like it's hard to just dabble yeah i feel like most people who just dabble

in it end up uh becoming prisoners of it well i got some literature i want you to read after the episode okay okay okay about violence just me and you no oh this this headline says will no will smith was not high on scientology when he slugged chris rock the ostrich he didn't slug him it's not a punch slap very different i am very excited for bit madness sweet 16 slap of course is more insulting more demeaning you know than a punch punch i just want to hurt you slap is like i'm gonna embarrass you it's like spitting in somebody's face. Yeah. Or their mouth. What? It's like baby birding. Sweet 16. What?

Oh, yeah. Here we are. If you guys aren't familiar with Bit Madness, it's something we do every March. We did the first two rounds last week. We're going to knock out two rounds right now as well. We'll save the final four in championship for Wednesday's episode. Let's start off with the Sweet 16 as voted by us,

but the bracket itself was determined by the listeners. Thank you to everyone out there who came through in the clutch and made this for us. Without further ado, we've got number one in the Mizzen and Main bracket, 1940s gangster voices versus number five, reading Wikipedia from memory. We're getting down to the time where it's like picking one child over the other one. Yeah. It's a good way of putting it, Will. I can't vote for anything at this point besides 1940s gangster accents. Yeah, this is just a power player.

This is... No Cinderella story here. This is a... It's a one for a reason. This isn't a one overall, right? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah, top dog, saying. saying yeah top of the heap kj's here i also have trouble voting for reading wikipedia from

memory as dave's brain is essentially wikipedia and he just knows these things you know right it's not even a bit it's not a bit he just he's just actually extremely knowledgeable it's kind of disrespectful to listeners to think that you just don't have the biggest brain in the building. I do enjoy that when you do that, David. However, this is not close for me. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I understand. We're buttering our bread with the gangster voices, and that's fine.

It can move along. I still think it's like 20 is probably more accurate era. At what point did people just look at each other and like, hey man, we don't have to talk like that anymore. That's weird. Why are we doing this for so long? That's not how we sound. We're all doing it.

They're in some speakeasies and they're just like, hey, why are we talking like this? Yeah, I don't know, dude. Did World War II end it? Was it like the roaring 20s, Great Depression, World War II end it? Like, was it like the Roaring Twenties, Great Depression, World War II? And it's just kind of like, yeah, I don't really want to talk super fast anymore. Are our sons going to have a podcast? It's like they do it together.

And then they start talking about how, like, everyone had vocal fry back in our day. I don't know. We're talking about that now. Every intern. Well, Adam doesn't have vocal fry. Nah, Adam's pretty chill. Deep drive to Lafayette. A-bomb doesn't have vocal fry nah adam's pretty chill deep drive to lafayette a-bomb doesn't have no quick foot mcgee this might be the last time i put this headset on they have headsets back then he's talking to a microphone i think they talked

into the those are better big guys did they even have radios then yeah i guess they did what were radios invented? I don't know. Who gives a fuck? They've been around for a minute. Are you looking it up? No. Okay.

Number 11. I was checking my email. Goated and Woated. 1890s. Oh, okay. 1890s? That's what I remember. I don't know.

Try it. Number 11. Goated and Woated versus number two dave's little whiskey girl number 11 this might be one of our best uh cinderella stories right now i've goaded and voted i will not vote it's gonna take a lot to get goaded and voted out for me because of just dylan i've just never seen dylan he just took goaded and just ruined it. There was a week where that's it. That was all he had. That week was Goated, though, was it not? Okay, exactly.

Stop. What are you voting for, dog? You follow me? I follow you, Dylan. I'm voting for Goated slash Woted. Wow. I've already gone on record saying that I will vote for Dave's Little Whiskey Girl twice in a row, but I will not do it three times, which means goaded and woated goes through.

Here's a funny little anecdote. I went grocery shopping for Bae last night. She made me a list of things to get for dinner, and one of them was goat cheese. I sent her a picture, and I said, is this like cheese from a goat or like the greatest cheese of all time? Okay. She didn't think it was very funny, but I did. What did you use that goat cheese for? I got a nice chucklele out of it you should have saved that material for your stand-up set i should damn it i should yeah but what if a goat came up and like hooved you in the face

don't talk about my cheese like that bitch keep my cheese out your fucking mouth it'd be a very smart goat. Keep my gasoline. That's the way I would decipher it. Keep that gasoline. All right. The memes are dead. I think Will pointed this out. Yeah. But. It didn't take very long to be on the timeline and be like, all right, I've seen the same meme every single time.

This is how I really knew they were dead. My sister sent my niece, my 13-year-old niece, her teacher today, decided to meme it. And it was Coach Blank's students was Will Smith, his students. And Chris Rock was the science star in astronomy ACP, some sort of standardized test they've been studying for. Wow. That's electric. That is just a quick turnaround meme. Yeah, I didn't know teachers were doing memes for their students these days i like that it's the only way that's

how you reach these keys gotta reach these keys i used to back in my day they just give them a packet a freaking packet a freaking packet nobody knows that number two this is this is a thoroughbred matchup we got here we got number two dylan hanging tvs versus number three tiny dylan giant kj i'm not voting against tiny dylan giant kj giant kj is here yeah giant kj just walked in actually and i'm way too scared to vote against him at this point which means i gotta i gotta vote for tiny dylan giant kj it's just regular size kj is here today actually he looked pretty big to me when he sits there it's like the hulk bruce banner just dwarfs me man he's bruce banner right now he gets down for tmd and just

you turn into fucking ant-man are bruce and david related extreme killing what the no i don't think so i don't think bruce is related to noted hip-hop producer david banner that'd be sick if they were they took different paths in life they rode different waves yeah i need to ask you about civil war after this randy remind me i've got a bruce banner question there's some books you can get from the library okay mr wikipedia guy i thought you knew everything it's the marvel universe man i'm i'm not sure that they're the best binge movies to watch. I'm kind of getting...

Connie Dillon and Giant KJ has officially moved on, by the way. You guys both voted for it. Dang, that's a shocker. My vote doesn't matter. That's a three over a two. Have I told y'all what I did this weekend? Yeah, that's a library card. Your boy scooped a library card this weekend.

Did you read a book? Is that the one by me? Bitch, no, it's not. It's the Downtown Library, dog. Have you seen that thing? It's architectural marvel it's it's a it's quite impressive it's a cool place first time ever going there did you guys see the the rendering for the new building going downtown austin which would be the tallest building in texas no i don't want 74 floors i don't know what that is don't need it i don't want know. I already got a unit on the 69th floor.

We've got number five, Dylan putting pizza on the company card. He's so proud of himself. Versus number one, Bing Bong, Super Fantastic, and Kablamo. One of these makes money for the company. The other does the opposite. Yeah. There's a part of me that's like you know i want to i like the i like the bit of dylan putting pizza on the company card but i worry that if we keep voting for it

dylan's going to keep doing this to keep the bit alive and also just like not financially ruin himself and so with that being said i'm going to vote for bing bong super fantastic kablamo and skiddly d for those who think that the the bing bongong, super fantastic, kablamo, skiddly D, uh, bit is, um, on its way out the door. I got news for you.

We're only getting started with, yeah, you would hate our Q2 outlook, right? Yeah. It's, it's loaded with bing bong is what Dave's trying to say. Yeah.

So the foundation of Q2 bing bong goes on. Yeah. Bing bong. We need to dial in our bing bong situation at the new office,-sign. Yeah. Bing bong. We need to dial in our bing bong situation at the new office, by the way. Yeah, well, that's a conversation we need to have offline, dog. Yeah. We don't want you to get too hairy in here right now.

Right. Moving over to the liquid IV side of the bracket, we've got number one, the Dick's Saloon versus number five, Perfectly Tiny Arms. Oh, wow. Who's this kid from St. Pete's that's got the little tiny arms? Doug? Dougie Fresh? He's this kid from St. Pete's that's got the little tiny arms? Doug? Who he's- Doug E. Fresh? He's our tiny arm king.

The kid with the- the white kid? Yeah. I think his name's Doug. I don't know. Why you got to pick on Doug like that? I'm not. I'm standing him. Doug Eater.

You just met her. Come on, man. Dick Saloon goes through for me. Tiny arms were good last summer, but I'm worried about this summer and the projected forecast. Dick Saloon's a power player. My arms and Dave's arms

are getting absolutely huge right now because of our kids. We're just lifting constantly. I noticed that. Why don't you put the kids down for a little bit? Every day's arm day. We're just getting heavy, man. Sorry. That's just classic day, dog. Dude, we're just getting heavy, man. Sorry.

That's just classic dad banter. Yeah. My back used to hurt from carrying parks around, man. What about your neck? No, my neck was fine. What about... Dick's Saloon.

I'm voting for the Dick's Saloon. I don't know if I've gotten more enjoyment out of another bit as much as I have the Dick's Saloon. Dick goes through. Oh, yeah, that's fine.

I co-sign. Oh, this is a tough one. We got number three, Will ratioing Dylan versus number two, Cosmo bartender. Man, I'm trying to be, I'm trying to not give Cosmo the benefit of being recent. The recency bias, some call it. Yeah. It's got staying power, Dave. The recency bias, some call it. Yeah. It's got staying power, Dave. It does.

It's like when Clemson arrived on the scene, what, like seven years ago. It's already gotten to the point where it annoys me and I can't stop doing it. I mean, I dropped a photo in the group chat last night of the calves of a certain soccer player, Memphis Depay. And I figured no one knew who he was. And I don't even know who this was a tattoo of, but the tattoo looks exactly like the Cosmo bartender. It does. I don't know what's wrong with me

where I see the leg tattoo and I immediately think like, that's the guy who said that he had people flash him. Wide hair. Full mustache. You see where I'm going with this? Old as fuck. Boots with the ver.

Marlboro Reds. Look like he smokes, probably. You know, get one of those looks to him. I did ratio you last night. Okay. Well, I set you up for it. I mean, I tagged you in it. People are just, I'm just pointing it out that people are talking about how I inadvertently

ratioed you last night. I saw one person mention it. It was, honestly, you must have the other people muted. I don't know, man. Yeah, it is what it is. Do you feel bad when you accidentally ratio somebody? No. No, never.

No. If I respond to somebody who has a smaller following or even a bigger following and I end up getting, I'm like, I kind of feel like a jerk. If you're going to put a tweet out there, then everyone else gets to have fun with it. That's just how it works, man. That's just how Twitter goes. Dim's the breaks, day. Wow, that's a pretty beautiful explanation.

Twitter's not made for softies. Once you tweet, man, that's our tweet. It's not just yours. Okay, good point. I'm voting Cosmo Barton. I think we have to. I think we have to. Will ratioing me is fun.

I even enjoy it. I'm going to keep doing it. Just because this is the end of the run in March Madness doesn't mean it's the end of the run of just ratios in general. Yeah, our Q3 is going to be strong. I'll still be out there. ratio our next matchup we've moved down to the bird dog side of the bracket we got black coffee no creamer and christopher walken impressions this is this is a little easier for me than it should be feel like i feel like the black coffee no creamer bits got it got to move on

do you it it's it's just funny it's just it's a kind of a hybrid of uh the uh the masculine urge is born out of it i guess maybe and it's just funny and it's never going to not be funny and if if our q2 is as uh skeetily b heavy as we're planning right now like i just don't know how i can not vote for black coffee no creamer i don't have a problem with that um to put the onus on will i'm taking walking impressions it's an impression of christopher walken right i'm an actor yeah we're pretty familiar with your work i was in pulp fiction oh a little tribute to pulp fiction last night awkward john travolta fake beard because he might tell me another scientologist that beard looked fake didn't see him

this is difficult for me i enjoy both a lot and I think both have had a great run on this podcast. I think for me, we already got coffee in the mix. Bing bong, kablamo, skiddly dee, everything. Wow. I think that the black coffee, no creamer, might be kind of riding in the wake of that and kind of getting a little more attention when we've already got enough skiddly bee content out there. I'm happy to go through. I have to go Christopher Walken impressions. I apologize

to everybody. That's what... Hold on. That's what he looked like last night? Hold it up. I'm going to send it to Randy. That's what Travolta looked like? I got to send it to Randy so he can put it up so the folks watching... He looks like a GTA character. He looks like Dom from Entourage.

What is he doing? Hold this bad boy up, Randy. I almost... What the heck? Why does John Travolta look like this? He looks like a villain. He looks like Joe Rogan, like... He kind of does.

...hooked up with, like... Looks like he's plotting to destroy the world. He's got Thanos jaw. He looks like Dr. Evil had sex with world. He's got Thanos jaw. He looks like Dr. Evil had sex with Joe Rogan and then John Travolta. I don't even know. The beard just looks fake. I don't know.

Chris Rock should have made a G.I. Jane joke about him. Oh. Yeah. But you don't want John Travolta slapping you. Sandy, oh my God. He owns multiple planes. Oh my God, Sandy. Oh, slapped him right there.

And Kinnicky was in the car. The Chris Lightning. The getaway driver. Mm-hmm. Yep. Kinnicky, underrated character. Oh my God, he slapped him. Yep, he slapped him.

Oh my God, Sandy. That Rizzo didn't mean anything. Rizzo. Rizzo. She was like 38. Wasn't your favorite. Rizzo didn't mean anything. Rizzo. Rizzo. She was like 38. Wasn't your favorite character Glizzo? Anthony Rizzo, a Yankee. Who's he playing for?

It doesn't matter. What are we doing? Don't try to talk baseball to get away from the Gliz joke. Our final matchup in the Sweet 16. Wilmonds versus number one. What's the damage? Oh God. You know that meme of Wesley Snipes

holding a gun on something as he's crying? Me killing Tony Hawk when the race war starts? That's me with Wilmonds right now. I hate to do it. I got to put a bullet in a Wilmonds. I get it. And the beautiful thing about Wilmonds is that you don't have to ask what the damage is

because rump floaters, they're always free, baby. That's true. They're always free. What's the damage moves on for your boy? It's been too good of a bit this year to not have move on. I love asking people what the damage is on something that they clearly don't want to talk about the price of. There's something satisfying about putting someone on the spot.

Speaking of, anybody on here have a vehicle who has like a camera that when they're parking it's a front camera not just the back like a pov cam no but like when you're parking i don't know just is anybody i'm just not anybody in here necessarily somebody might yeah i wonder what i wonder what that'll set you back i wonder what the damage is on a feature like that on your vehicle. It's quite a feature. It's pretty cool.

I wish I had that. I do too. Before we get into our Elite Eight, let's hear from our friends over at Grammarly. With a new year ahead, it's the perfect time to think about how you put yourself out there wherever there may be. And since most of us can't communicate telepathically, I don't know, I feel like we kind of do sometimes in here. Sometimes I do feel that way. But most of the time, all starts with your words. How often you try to write something important. It could be an email, a text, a DM, and you find yourself agonizing over the wording for what feels like hours before you hit send. There are thousands of ways to say it and Grammarly

helps you get it right the first time. I've used Grammarly so many different times. I actually was writing an email recently. It was a long email. I was a little nervous to press send on it. And it told me that I was being a little short and a little cold in the email. So you know what I did? I went through and I actually souped it up. And it gave me a nicer review of my email that I was sending. Who are you being a jerk to? I wasn't trying to be a jerk, just to be crystal clear.

I was trying to write a very thought out email with a lot of information. And as it turns out, I turns out I was being a jerk. I'm sorry. You're usually pretty good at emails. And I guess Grammarly is why. I mean, Grammarly is a real one. If you're searching for the perfect turn of phrase, you can just use Grammarly's double click synonym feature

for a quick search for replacements for the word, giving you difficulty. Or is that trouble? Or maybe it's giving you stress. I don't know. You can also set your audience and tone before you start with Grammarly's goals feature. You can then watch as Grammarly makes smart suggestions tailored to your goals as you go. And when you're done writing, their built-in tone detector will tell you how

your message comes across. Is it friendly enough? Too informal? No more asking. Someone to look it over before you hit send. So whether you're starting your first essay of the semester or you need to strike a formal tone to animated experts get it right the first time with grammarly this year let grammarly help you put yourself out there with style our listeners can get 20 off grammarly premium at grammarly.com slash steam that's 20 off at g-r-a-m-m-a-r-l-y dot com slash steam elite eight time baby wow we're getting to the point where i just don't want to deal with this like i don't want to make these decisions it's sad this one's easy for me though number one

1940s gangster voices versus number 11 goaded and woated this is easy for me this isn't this could this is maybe the easiest one of the of the elite eight right probably on the same wave you are but go ahead go to devoted while it's great uh somewhat almost stopped being a bit and just became some of our just general vernacular and with that i have to go with 1940s gangster accents slash voices yeah go to this one with a fresh ass it would just be disingenuous disingenuous to to put goaded and loaded on as much as I like it

the gangster voices we've gotten gotten tiktok views gotten all the content I think it's I think that's just the more powerful line of humor I apologize to Dylan I don't think you need to no you're the goaded champion worst champion goaded i'm i'm also voting for 1940s gangster voices uh we got number three

tiny dylan giant kj versus bing bong super fantastic kablamo skiddly d skiddly b whatever it may be this one hurts why because these are two two just excellent moments in the podcast that i don't want to see either of them go away which i do that being said i've got to go i've got to go with tiny Dylan, Giant KJ. What? Moving on. What? What's Dylan? No one saw that. I guess we know what you're voting for. I'm absolutely voting for Bing Bong, Super Fantastic, Kablamski.

Uh-oh, just Skidlibby. Does Daddy have to own this on him? Don't do that voice, man. That's you, your daddy. Hey, someone tossed me the rock. They did. Like Chris? Uh-oh. Nope. He's going to hold on to that onus call me onus wagner just make it just tiny dylan giant kj moves oh are you kidding yeah no not at

all against bing bong not at all that was bing bong stuff was great but today's bing bong no no dylan the day like the day so the day the day that Tiny Dylan and Giant KJ dropped, that day, I have never seen the group text move faster to make sure that we made the most out of that. We had people just blowing KJ up even bigger. We didn't even need to do that, just to be clear, because he was already just gigantic in the original photo. But the way that the squad rallied behind that,

it's something I've never seen before can we at least acknowledge that most of those are photoshopped images to make me look smaller yeah kj just yelled from the other room are they kj shut up oh this is what oh my god this is this This is just a battle of the titans. These should not have been in the same region. I don't want to do this one. What if they just go meet at center court before the match and shake hands and they bring the Cosmo bartender to the Dick Saloon to work a couple shifts? You cowboys walk in. Hey, partner.

Chaps, no pants. They sit right here. You follow me? They take the stool. They turn it over. You follow me? They each order one drink. They leave together.

You follow me? When you're there, you're family. Number one, the Dick's Saloon versus number two, Cosmo Bartender. These should not be in the same region they really shouldn't this is the hardest matchup we've we've confronted to date one of these is going home like think about that i don't want to be the first to vote i need someone to make a case one way or the other i'm going cosmo bartender wow for what reason what put it over the edge for you i just i'm even like texting i'm even like putting it into texts when i'm like sending like a long text to the group just it's just it's just become a part of

my vernacular i'm'm going Dick Saloon. I didn't want the onus. I had the onus last time. Don't want the onus again. I'm going Dick Saloon. I don't know why. It's good. It's always good to have friendly competition, whether you're a restaurant, whether you're a podcast, whatever industry you're in.

And I think having the Dick Saloon in the mix, I think it really requires Wilmans to up their game. And so I'm going to go with the number one seed, Dick Saloon. I think these are both deserving of a one seed. And I know people will say, oh, Cosmo Bartender, it's only a few weeks old. Yeah, I get it. But it has legitimate staying power. It's going to be around for a long time, as will the Dick Saloon, to be fair.

I am voting, and I hate to do this to the dick saloon cosmo bartender moves on we'll leave the light on for you at the dick saloon that is that's what i'm telling you right man that was tough who'd you vote for the cosmo bart Bartender. Oh, fuck. Bye, Dixieland. Son of a gun. Damn. Our final matchup of the Elite Eight. Number three, Christopher Walken impressions versus number one, what's the damage?

Damage moves through for Dave. What, Dilly? I don't want to hear Walken impressions at dinner dinner but i do want to hear what's what's the damage i'm ready to cast my vote go uh what's the damage goes to the final four wow it's unanimous i was going to vote for that either way i think walking impressions has been great uh it's been some of the hardest i've laughed on the pod in the last year but for some reason, what's the damage? I think it just,

I think it has, I think it has untapped potential that we haven't even realized yet. We have a great final four here. Stop bringing, Dave's just been staring at this photo of John Travolta for the past 15 minutes.

The fuck's he doing? Final four, we have 1940s gangster voices versus tiny Dylan Giant KJ. And then if anyone would scroll back, we have Cosmo Bartender versus What's the Damage? And the other half of that. How would the bartender ask you what the damage is on a bill? Say you go out to dinner with him.

Maybe you go out for a nightcap with him and you're trying to figure out who's going to pay the bill. I got four whiskey neats. You follow me yeah i guess so it sounds like someone's ordered four four drinks from you yeah whiskey needs no he's he's out for drinks after his shift oh oh wow so he went he went down to like wild wings i feel like that's where everybody goes. They go off their shit. They're like, oh, yeah, we usually go down to Bennegan's or Wild Wings. Wings gone wild.

Let's not forget he owns two Firehouse Subs. Oh, dude, I do forget about that. He sold them. He sold them. Are you sure? I think he sold them. Two Firehouse Subs. How much does a Firehouse Subs go for? What was the damage on that?

I think Flounder bought one off of him at the bar that night. Yeah, they just transferred the title right there at the bar. What if, like, yeah, what if we, like, cold called Flounder on the pod one day and he was just, like, there was just a bunch of commotion

in the background. He's like, dude, I bought the firehouse subs from the guy. I didn't, like, a staffing issue. I'm just making subs back here. What, which sandwich establishment would you like to be a franchisee?

Schlotzky's. Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's. But I would only serve trays of them. They're definitely not Jimmy John's, right? They fresh cut,

well, they're so fast that they make you freak. Because I like good sandwiches. The one by me doesn't even deliver. What? It doesn't deliver, Randy. Randy almost broke his neck turning his head so fast.

He cannot believe this. That portobello cheesesteak from Jersey Mike's is pretty solid. They do a good cheesesteak. Yeah. Should we get out of here? Yeah. Is it time already? Yeah.

Damn. Oh, wow. We went long. Yeah, we did, bitch. That was fun, man. Right? Yeah. Is it time already? Yeah. Damn. Oh, wow. We went long. Yeah, we did, bitch. That was fun, man. Right? Yeah. That was fun.

Okay. Check us out tomorrow on Patreon, patreon.com slash tricklingbackpodcast. But without further ado, this is the end of the episode. Bye. you