Citation Needed - Action Park

Episode Date: November 15, 2017

Action Park is an amusement park located in Vernon, New Jersey, United States, on the grounds of the Mountain Creek ski resort. The park consists primarily of water-based attractions and originally opened to the public in 1978 under the ownership of Great American Recreation, who also owned the ski resort which at the time operated under the name Vernon Valley/Great Gorge.[2] Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

Dude, just muted. Right. But then how will they know I disagree? Well, no, they won't, but that's the point. I don't understand. Yeah, that's true. You don't. You don't get Twitter. Hey guys! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee What'd you do to the recording studio, man? I got, I turned it into a water park. You see that, you see that, isn't, isn't seesaw gonna be manned and everything's water?

No, no, not really, I made a wave pool. So yeah, old hairy guys love wave pool. It is so peaceful in here. See, he loves it. He does sing a love it. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll bite, I guess. Why did you turn the studio into a water park?

Get out of the way, kid. I'm going again. It's not your chance. My other turn. Well, you see, the episode this week is about action park. And I thought, you know, this is a guest in the spirit of thing. I see. I love it. Like a floating schnauzer. So what do you say, you? Want to ride some rides?

Nah, my dad had a job growing up, so I'm not super into water parks, but thank you. Yeah, fair enough, Keith. You can keep your shirt up. You had me at Heath. I am peeing in here. I'm peeing in nobody knows. Hello, hey, Bienvenor, aasita, m'yasisiera. The podcast, though, we choose this and don't write me Spanish if you don't want to.

Hi, welcome to the citation evening. I don't, barely speak English, barely speaking English. The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts, because this is the internet, and that's how it works now i'm elai and i'll be the lifeguard for this waterpark adventure but first let me introduce the old guy scolding you for getting him wet

and the guy who can and bald all the water out of the pool Noah and Tom you know this would not have been a problem if you stayed off my lawn in the first place that's what he would have got wet yeah to be fair elai uh once all the kids got out, that pool was distressingly small. And also joining us tonight, two guys that wear their shirt in the water, Cecil and Heath. No kidding. Where my shirt in the shower and during sex and nobody's even wet them. Okay, well, why would you take off your shirt during sex?

And why would somebody get wet? You're weird. It's weird comment all around. Before we get started today, we want to take a moment to thank our patrons and remind everyone that we are close to the goal of taking this show on the road. Me and my best friends would love to come to your town and our patrons are going to decide where that live show happens. So if you'd like to learn how to join their ranks,

be sure to stick around to the end of the show to learn how. And if you're already a patron, keep in mind that me and Cecil will share a hotel room. No, we will. If you love your place, no hole. And really, that would be a way of telling us to happen. Tell us to come, Canada, this out I'll call back here to open up the show.

Tell us, Tom. even the saddle call back to show What person placed in concept phenomenon Cecil and I are sharing a hotel I will literally commit Sepaco. I don't kill myself Tell her with you We I would go to action park. Oh my God. I need to see that. You guys wouldn't even share a joining rooms.

Sounds like we have four to one votes. All right. Later. Anyways, patreon.com for a slash citation pod. You figured out what are we talking about today, Tom? Today, we would like to thank patron Sheeks six six. Thanks guys. For that suggestion, we'll be talking about today, Tom? Today we would like to thank Patreon Sheeks 6.6. Thanks, guys. For that suggestion, we'll be talking about Action Park and amusement and water park in New Jersey.

And Cecil, you tested several terribly dangerous water slides to give us a first-town account of this terror-filled park from hell. Well, not personally, but I do want people to know that I'm looking for small children between 35 and 75 pounds to do some research. Parents will be well compensated. Sean, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, side I can write down how this works. So action park is a truly terrifying amusement park in Vernon, New Jersey. It shares its home with a ski resort called mountain creek. Well, yeah, back then though, it was called Vernon Valley Great Gorge. I've actually been there many times, summer and winter. It's terrible.

We have a support group for survivors. The original action park consisted of three different attractions, Alpine Center, Motor World and Water World. It was one of the first real water parks in the United States. It opened in 1978 and stayed open almost 20 years until 1996. Water World, all the slides were designed by Kevin Costner. They helped power on urine. Imagine it was a failure, right? But, but, but that water world came out in 1995. And I feel like Cecil just said people were still looking at this water park in 1996. So the abysmal failures don't line up. Exactly. And seriously though, no exaggeration.

Kids riding jet skis with flame throwers would have been much safer than a single world way safer or just wrapping a naked lady in a sail and hitting her with an or that would have been safer. So the park drew jackass auditioners from all over the New York metro area to this very unsafe park. Let me quote the wiki page summary. The park's popularity went hand in hand with a reputation for poorly designed unsafe rides under aged under trained and often under the influence staff, intoxicated, unprepared visitors, and a consequently poor safety record. At least six people are known to have died as a result of mishaps on rides at the original park. It was given nicknames such as traction park, accident park, and class action park by

doctors in nearby hospitals due to the number of severely injured customers they treated. Yeah, I mean, because keep in mind as you hear that quote, that this is in New Jersey. Right. I mean, these people were incompetent and intoxicated for New Jersey, for amusement park workers in Jersey, no less. Okay. Yeah, but am I the only one tragically genuinely disappointed that this park is closed? I hate my body and I want to break it up here. Like here right there with you, Tom, right there with you.

Honestly, I think we could raise the money in minutes with a go fund me to have like snooki in the situation, do all the rides for a Jersey Shore reunion episode, bring that thing back online. Right there with you, Heath, right there with you. Okay. So tell us, Cecil, where did this slippery slope begin? Snort on it. Snort on it. Now the origin of the park is that it was originally a ski resort, like I said earlier, and the owners wanted a money in the off season.

So they decided to make a huge slide on one of the hills, the Alpine slide. Within a few years, it had a racetrack and a couple of water slides. It eventually became a pretty massive park with three sections and 75 rides. 35 of these rides were self controlled or motorized and 40 of these were water slides. I don't get it. At least their intentions were pure, purely greedy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The iron ran libertarian water park. See what the fountain behead. Yeah.

It's times. See, I feel like we're shitting on this unnecessarily. Everyone on this panel is looked at a mountain before and said, why the fuck isn't there a water slide on that? And these people did soap about it, right? Not everyone on this panel. Yeah. The park was very successful in the mid 80s and a lot of the rides were still open then. There was a point when they had to close down a ride then, but only because two people

died on it within a week of each other. But that didn't deter anyone from forking out the money to get in. Can I use this corpse instead of a tube to slide down? What? Man, another one fucking paperwork. I quit the slide. The park at its busiest had over one million attendees in a year. And on very busy weekends, the park would have up to 12,000 people.

Park officials said that the injury rate for crowds like that was statistically insignificant. Wait, wait, really? They think the injuries were the results of normal random chance, not related to having kids dive down a mountain through a tube of guillotine. You never guess they were overestimating the p-value action part. I'm expected. Local hospital had about five to ten cost like I don't know. Customers, you call those customers?

Any call them patrons. Pay attention. On busy days that were injured from the rides, they even shout out extra for ambulances because there was so many calls from the park. At this point, I don't even care what businesses I end up owning in my life. My new goal is to run them so poorly we have our own annual. I know already have the vision board set up, Thomas already have the vision board set up. He's going to point out Tom's fantasy and they show skits are the same thing.

Yeah. She won that. She on that. Now, the article talks about the financial problems of the park and from my understanding it was economics and not regulation that shut this park down. Oh, good. There's a market solution. The invisible hand that eventually stops kids from getting beheaded. I mean, sure, some rides did have to get close down, but the park took a hit in the recession and it never actually recovered from that.

Like many of our patrons, but our patrons always recover, usually recover, mostly they recover. Anyway, become a patron at patreon.com slash citation pod and help us build a water slide theme park. Let's make this happen. Can it be gastric themed? All right. Well, we're going to need to get inspired. So Cecil, why don't you tell us about some of the rides on this death trap? Well, let's start where the wiki page starts with the Alpine attractions.

One of these attractions was called the Action Park Gladiator Challenge. And it sounds like it was based off the TV show, American Gladiators, where participants would run an obstacle course. And then they would be timed. And later in the day, they would have a show where they would invite the people that did the fastest times to run the course again and then fight with pugil sticks with gladiators that they scoured from local chimps. Oh, God of I had a time machine.

By the time machine, I would skip a assassinating Hitler and I would groundhog day my life at this wonderland. This is the thing. I thought when you went into that, I thought you were saying you were gonna beat Hitler to death with a giant cute tip. And that visually pleased me beyond belief. Your gladiator name could be cyanide. Yeah.

Or Eva Bronney. Oh off eight off Hitler net. Yeah. Make American gladiators. Yeah. I want that hat. I can get behind. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Maga. They also had the namesake of this part of the park, the Alpine slide. This slide was made from fiberglass and concrete. The park, what hay bales around the turns to help cushion the fall from people thrown from the side of the curve.

Oh my God. Yeah, it's ridiculous. I've been on this thing. It is fucking terrifying. It was like Vietnam. Please just like kids flying off the road and exploding, like, mimetic, yelling into crank radio. Napalm, I think I want to.

The slide also was right under a chairlift. The people would spit on the writers below. And I mean, it's New Jersey after all, and it wouldn't be a visit to that state without unexpected saliva, I guess. Yeah. Actually unexpected saliva is the New Jersey state bird. Yeah.

Yeah. Hyperdermic syringes are the state fashion. Their state rock is meth. I don't learn all of these for a test and their state flower is the vehicular homicide. Power. Wait, fuck, I got this, I got this. The state beverage is the vehicular homicide or the slide suffers its first fatality in 1980 when employee jumped the track on their sled really punches down really well. Oh, man. Right down the embankment. That's right.

Oh, my God. I'm a teenager and work team. Oh, I'm in the car of my life. So the sled that people rode down only had two speeds according to employees very slow and quote, death awaits. In two years, 84 and 85, the slide cost 14 fractures and 26 editors. Yeah. Okay. But also about a thousand adrenaline erections. So it's worth it. You're saying people are pussy's now. I don't like to walk down hills. There's a hill. I'll

walk sideways because I don't like not having control. A couple of a second season. Now, I feel like there's a there's a double standard here. All of a sudden causing fractures and head injuries and 84 and 85 is a bad thing. Strange assertion coming from a bears fail. I just say that is true. Yeah. Yeah. It's too bad. They didn't have Tom Brady show up. The park would have been just like turned into a padded rubber room with helmets. So there was a skateboard park in this area too, that they built and then they tore down after a single season. The pavement was one even where I met the top of the bulls and the former parking place said, quote, the state park was responsible for so

many injuries. We covered it up with dirt and pretended it never existed. Also an effective way to deal with a bad day. After saying, take it in New Jersey. It gets covered with. Yeah, there's a lot of halls in New Jersey. Live, experienced in these halls. We're going to the park. Barren's furries and honey. Well, jokes on you, Tom.

I was already covered in dirt. All right. Now, Cesar, I got to admit, I do like the cleaning of the gene pool, but it isn't quite jokes on you, Tom. I was already covered in dirt. All right. Now, Cecil, I got to admit, I do like the cleaning of the gene pool, but it isn't quite meeting the quota of deaths that I had been promised. So, well, I've only started revealing these rides. Let's take a quick break, and I can tell you all about the other sections of the park and the body count, and we get back.

And we can choose a hotel room for ourselves. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will not. We will our city of live show. No, lovely double bed. Maybe have to the Queens next to it. Double bed. We can jump back and forth. We can jump back and forth.

Swap. Share it like a couple of hobbits. Celebrating at the, oh, I'm gonna eat crackers. I'm gonna eat a bunch of pills. Me too, man. Me too. I'm gonna eat crackers. I'm gonna eat crackers.

I'm gonna eat a bunch of pills. Me too, man. Me too. Me too. Me too. Action Park opens this weekend for its wildest Halloween yet. Action Park! Introducing our newest ride, The Flinger!

The Flinger! A human-sized slingshot that will catapult you 50 feet in the air and colliding with other Park Goers as they stand in line waiting for equally dangerous rides. Special friends. It might sound dangerous, but don't worry, you'll be wearing Lecrosse gloves. Holy protected. Peter Interadrenaline Monkey, on all our other famous attractions, don't run away,

combine. It's harvest time. The Catapult Cat. Go long. And the wall of nails. You're the hammer. The little ones can come and visit head on collision land and capsize booked opium Like perhaps not included and during the Halloween season

Visit our haunted graveyard Build daily all your favorite great come to action park and get a tofer double duty If you survived the first day your second day at the park where the hospital waiting room is free Right our famous runaway gurney.'ll be in the stitch action park the most dangerous place on earth. Sorry the waiver And we're back when last we left And we're back. When last we left, Cesar was teasing us with a bunch more fatalities of people who lived in New Jersey.

Tell us. Tell us about the rest of the park there, Sizzle for Rizzle. The second section of the park was called Motor World. Yes, from the guys that couldn't do incline plain without killing people. It was, you know, yeah.

What other mechanical advantages can we use to murder children? To block and tackle? Motors, I was going to say motor. But, okay pin in that, yours is good too. So a lot of ways to use that. Sadly puts away a board that says block and tackle world. So motor world, this consisted of a few rides and motor driven vehicles that performed in the air, land, and water. Surprisingly, the air rides seem to be the safest.

And that's a surprise. One was called the space shot. There, that seemed like a simple pick you up and drop ride where the riders were attached to a harness. These are pretty popular at several amusement parks. The other was a slingshot. They had a $5 up charge to cover the insurance costs. Again, this ride is seen at other amusement parks. It's like a giant bungee cord that just shoots two people sitting up into the air. Just like, you want the insurance?

Does it cover beautiful, fucking pussy? Yup, and spinal injuries. Oh, okay, yeah, fuck, I'll take that. Yeah, probably. Yeah, you better give me the insurance because I'm going to beat the shit out of these kids. We are in New Jersey. So the boat rides were a thrill a minute. One was a bumper boat. You would sit in the boat and then put surround in the water and bang off the other boats, except some of the boats leaked gas in the water. And one rider had to get medical attention because of gasoline exposure.

And the boats also didn't have a lot of leg room. So I guess some of the tall patrons just hung their legs over the side of the boats and then complained to the doctors when this resulted in fractures. Okay, I blame the park about a lot of things, but this one is barefoot, right? Yeah. What the fuck do they think was going to happen if they use themselves as the bumpers in bumper boats? All right, well, we had to shut that one down.

The bumper boats was dangerous, but still kind of want to use that lake a gas. What about Titanic the ride? They bottled water for Flint, Michigan. I'll think about all that. The other water craft were called super speed boats. They put boats that could go about 35 to 40 miles an hour into a pond that was infested with snakes. The park, the parkgoers would use these boats. It's like to hit the boat. They would pump these boats into each other at 30 to 45 miles. And one that had too much to drink had to be rescued by a lifeguard when his boat flipped over.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what about the snakes? Don't whip out your snake if you're not going to use it. Like a tease check off snake. Right? What do I care about that? But it's full, it's a lake full of snakes. This is going to be great. Crick at, whatever.

Whatever the fuck is things? Okay. Well, one of each year, Tom, up with some of the disastrous land vehicles, Cecil. Okay. Well, land vehicles consisted of a super go kart track where the cars were governed at 20 miles an hour. The employees would often use a tennis ball to rig the governor so the cart would go 50 miles. Why? Why build the girl

cards for kids with the option of way too fast? Like so it could double as an ambulance for when the kids get injured going away from the past. And maybe the secret to ludicrous speed shouldn't be an everyday object that kids obviously could have. Yeah, I'm a tennis ball. I, right. Yeah, you should need a Dildo to rig that. Does anyone ever touch or he'd run it? It only fits. Hopefully they don't have lots of tennis balls fucking hanging around this park.

I don't know if we'll get to that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where they're going to find one in a few moments. Yeah. Right. And also the engines would also leak gas fumes and people would be overcome as they drove around the track. Occasionally, there would be a head on collision. And this resulted in quote, many interviews. As there was head on collisions. Yeah. They didn't even, they didn't even insist that everybody just traveling the same direction points that way. Yeah. Come on. I love this place.

I love it. Okay. I don't want to be that guy, but I just watched Fast and the Furious 7 and I'm pretty sure if you smash your car head on into another car, you just get out and crack your neck and you're fine. You're like, Chris,

but that only works on go cards if you have the three turtle shells thing. into another car, you just get out and crack your neck and you're fine. You're like, but that only works on go cards if you have the three turtle shells thing. Or a star. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, that's true. Best and furious nine go cart chicken. Just shot for shot remake at part seven, but Paul Walker gets replaced by a CGI Wario.

Oh, I appreciate how much Vindees a love Paul Walker. And it hurts me. So they also had a racetrack for low-la cars, which are basically miniature race cars with an open cockpit. They had an upcharge to ride these. The employees could also rig the governor in these cars too. The Wiki article says, quote, after the park management briefly set up a microdruery nearby, employees looking for aftertowers fun would break into it,

steal the beer and then ride the cars on Route 94. That's so Jersey. Jesus. That's quintessentially Jersey. That should be the picture on the sign when you drive in. Welcome toentially Jersey. That should be the picture on the sign when you drive in. Welcome to New Jersey. Woo. Just some girl flashing her tits at a minivan. She doesn't know contains her mom.

Yeah, I actually, I read this. What option did they have? There's a microbeau and there's free race car. I don't. These are kids. It's like they built an entire business just to troll mothers against drunk drive. Here's your open top race car. Literally a gas powered sharp thing.

Here's your gas powered sharp thing from as in how dangerous toys. Here's your 12 back. Here's your scissors. Hold those right out in front of you. Facing in great. And there's a windy mountain road right over there. Finally in Motor World, there was there was a ride called the battle tanks, where small tanks with tennis ball cannons, amazing ride around trying to hit the small target on the other side of the tanks to disable them. People outside the ride could also participate with the arena mounted tennis ball canons. This ride was not terribly dangerous to patrons, but it was to employees when they would have to venture out into the rink to help fix a stuck tank and people in the tanks and outside on the cannon would help them with projectiles. Well, fucking, as soon as this is New Jersey, the projectiles are probably tennis balls,

use syringes and semen. Good old New Jersey style rock paper scissors. I don't know which one's win. Which I love or semen beats everything. Semen beats. It's in the right. Steven beats that tennis balls. Tennis balls beats syringes syringes beat.

Same as easy. Okay. Wait. Syringes suck up the same. Semen ruins the tennis ball tennis ball. Oh, right. Are you only see me? Improves a tennis ball. I ring. Are you only see him improves a tennis ball?

I don't think you thought it through. I mean, if you really weight your goal then retriever to go for it. That's what's on the side of their mouth when they have that ball. I never knew. I mean, he's going to lick his balls. He may as well lick mine. I just imagine that old Atari combat game made real. I mean, God damn it. Man, if I had three wishes, I'd waste four to make this place open again. Okay. See, so you obviously chose this story for your second best friend to have a new life, though, but I was promised a deadly water park.

What about the water park? The water park is where almost all the fatalities occurred. And I'm not going to tell you about all the rides, but I'll list a few. The first is the tarzan swing. This swing was positioned over a spring fed pool. And the ride itself sounds about as dangerous as any rope swing, but the water that was in the pool was so cold that many people had to be rescued just from the shock

of the water temperature. One person just fucking died when they hit the water because it was so cold and it gave my heart attack. Action park now open in February. There was an attraction called the roaring rapids that was basically a whitewater raft ride with less safety equipment. The wiki article says, quote, reports that the park filed with the state in 1984 noted fractured femurs collar bones and noses and dislocated knees and shoulders. They should have at least cleaned up before the inspectors arrived. Just leaving all those bones everywhere. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross. That writers would take a hard plastic sled to the top and then slide down on rollers that

were similar to what you'd find in a factory or warehouse. The pool at the bottom was really shallow and the idea was to skip across the water like a stone. Now, this only worked if the writer was seated and lean back. They do not tell you about, they don't say, they need to lean back, they don't tell you. This is in the support group they They're still talking about us. Thank you. Yeah.

And if you didn't do it this way, you'd actually be ejected as soon as the water just caught you. Shoot these people out. They got a lot of head injuries because of it. Some people leaving the pool were also bold over by some of the other riders shooting across the pot. And sometimes those riders shooting across the pot. And sometimes those writers shooting across the puddle feel really bad too. They didn't it's not just a little guy. It's it's the ones who caused the damning. Yeah. Okay. Revision. This is now how I

want to die. All of their plans are done. This with a tit soous mouth. They're not mutually exclusive. All right, so this, uh, Aquascoot is obviously a little too dangerous. What about, I was thinking Thelma and Louise the right for, like, sad couples, the suicide pack? We'll get the same insurance. We can just use the same insurance.

It's basically the same. Good idea. Okay, see, so you got anything more out dorsi? I do. There was a ride called the kayak experience and it was a little creek where people would ride a kayak, but they use these electric fans to stir up the water to make it more white watery. And often the kayaks would tip and the patrons would have to get out of them and exposed

higher electrocuted one customer in 1982. And it's now the end of the tough modern. So they don't tell you that. So there's a ride called the surf hill. And this ride sounds like a lot of other water park rides. You ride down on a small mat into a puddle. However, the seventh hill on this ride had a hump that the employees called the backbreaker. This home was throw people violently into the air. And the wiki article says, quote, employees at the park used to like eating in a nearby snack bar with a good view of the attraction. Since it was almost guaranteed that they would see some

serious injuries lost bikinis. I would retire here. Action part two. Titties and blood. Yeah. Call back to last week's episode. Yeah. But seriously, this is why we need HBO people before that New Jerseyites had to kill tourists to see that kind of bloods and titan shit.

We're willing to do a Game of Thrones saves lives in New Jersey people. And they'd laugh at the people who lost their bikini top. It was really mean. So the Colorado River Raffed Ride was a raft ride that would go through a riverbed and there would be a series of forks that riders could float down. Riders would be thrown into the air and there were several drops on both forks. People would clunk their heads together when they rode it. Post-spot person talks about how their mother broke their nose on the ride. It's so funny.

Don't wear asswear. Like cartoon characters turning around in a car real fast. Right? So some raps would get stuck and people would get out of them to push them. And another raft would slam into the people who left the raft. But I don't know if this ride still exists, but the people have to wear football helmets. What's happening? They closed the action park, but there's still a white water rafting thing just like sitting there that people use. And there's a guy enforcing a helmet rule

for the baddened ride. It'd be safer if people were shooting forks from cannons on the side of the thing. So they also had diving cliffs and they were 23 feet and 18 feet tall. Non-swimming New Jerseyites would jump into the pool, not realizing that it was deep. Wait, so they thought they were like diving into a glass of water like bugs bunny. But the thing is, the non-divers, just people walking by like a horse in a circus. There also was not a good way to know that there that there was a diving cliff above you. So people would just go into the pool and someone from 20 foot above would come. 20 And those people would feel really really bad about it They wore their shirt and everything and everyone was like oh chunk the mug killed someone Oh my god, I want a gay Mary whoever designed this part

Well while I fake some documents in the hope of making Tom Mine, see you still. The other villains tell us about the most dangerous of the death traps in this death trap in Poryam. But the most dangerous thing in the water park was the title wave pool. It was also called the grave. People would not people would not realize if fresh water made you less buoyant and would exhaust themselves. So people would enter a body of water with their not drowning plan being the salt salt. It's like a dormant or theme park. We need these in swing states.

New Jersey is fucking stupid. We need to move it all swear. The others wouldn't realize the slope and would wind up in waves and water too deep. And they wouldn't know how to swim. There were 12 lifeguards on duty and they would rescue as many as 30 people a week. The pool here, this title, this drowning pool or whatever it's called killed three people, one in 82, one in 84 and another in 87. And that's why you can't have union lifeguards people.

31st person starts to drown. Those assholes were just like, no, I'm sorry, I do 30, 30 a week. I'm on break. A slide that was open for the summer of 1985 was the Cannonball loop. It was in close, it was in close slide with a full vertical loop at the bottom. This ride was actually closed by an outside safety board. Supposedly test dummies sent down this ride were dismembered and the cabs. They would, they, the slide would cause numerous back injuries and blood. How did they know they know it would do that? They sent the fucking dummies down, came back to cap it in and then someone went down

and bloody their nose. Yeah. I didn't include. They actually had an incentive to employees. They would pay them $100 to ride down to Tesla. And one of the employees said, I couldn't get enough drinks in me with the $100 to forget that experience. I love this. So they sent a test.

I mean, they're like, well, the nose can't bleed in the test. I mean, the head came off. But what about nose? Look, look, when you threw this down, I thought the arm was loose. I thought the arm was a little loop. That's all. Yeah. And I didn't work. Yeah. I don't set a teenager. We got a lot of those guys are made to wrestle. So the wiki article says that a rider also reportedly got stuck at the top of the loop, due to insufficient water pressure. And a hatch had to be built in the bottom of the slope to allow for future.

Oh my God. We had the 80s was fucking amazing. If you like through it, it's like, hey, so people don't always make it out of this one. Should we like redesign it? Oh, no, fuck it. Just cut a hole on the top of pull the crap down to the top of the jam. Well, and you also, you know that this was some fat kid just getting Augustus gloop along the pipe, which makes this so much better. Yeah, another fat kid clogging the pool filter, a little thing and a bandaid. What is not getting clean?

Gross. And all six people died in the park. And the reasons for that in the article are not just ride design. The employees were young, inexperienced, and sometimes drunk. The visitors often didn't know how to swim. I don't see how the employees could help though. I don't see how it matters. What the fuck do you boys had taken or good.

I caught those people at that seventh hill while they were. Yeah. Superman over there. No. Could have told baby he to lean back. That would have been fucking nice. Yes. Yes. Maybe they could have said something. There was also an availability of liquor on the park grounds. And, uh, but also there was no regulations. For example, the title wave pool was considered a pool by the state and not a ride.

And under state regulations at the time that meant that the company merely had to keep the water clean and make sure that certified lifeguards were on duty. The park is still there. It's called Mountain Creek Water Park. And from the wiki, it doesn't sound like it's nearly as exciting. Certainly. Now, certainly. Now, Cecil, if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? Never let Tom play roller coaster tycoon.

Never let an app. I'm buying a theme park. Delete it from his iPad. And are you ready for the quiz? I am. I am super ready. As ready as a kid getting ready to go down the aqua scoot. Yes.

All right. So I'll start us off here. In addition to some sketchy rides, the park was also known for some questionable eateries. Which of the following was the most dangerous snack offered at action park? Was it a the licorice cat and I entails? Was it B fiberglass candy? You got to admit that pink shit, that pink panther shit, that looks so tasty. Was it sea elephants ears, but you have to pull them off the elephant yourself? Or was it D diet coke flavored mentos?

Man, don't fuck that D. I didn't know we were going to be quizzing about Snackson Park. Um, Snackson Park. Let's go with elephants here. That sounds fucking dangerous as shit. It's actually it's the fiberglass candy. It tends to get you quicker. Oh, that's true. Sorry, you were close, you were close.

All right, so, uh, their elephants are under a fed. Yeah. They're assholes. It's just 12 hours later, something fierce. I'll tell you that. All right Cecil, which of the following actually happened to me while I was at action art for many times with my horribly negligent parents. So happy. Yeah, listen to this one mom. Do you listen to this show was it a I

Went on one of those really steep slides and I lost my anal virginity to my swim trunks Sometimes Was it be right before losing my anal virginity? I got to the front of the line for that slide, got scared, and started crying before finally getting talked into it. So typical anal virginity stuff. Was it C? An Italian guy from Jersey yelled B N word at a black guy from Jersey yell be inward at a black guy from Jersey and there was a giant racially charged 34.99 if you're there. Oh, the rest of the day. I get to one.

Oh, my God. God. Yeah. I would pay more to 30 to 50. Or was it D? My friend Pete came flying down a slide after me, cannonballed straight into my belly. At which point I simultaneously shot and vomited, forcing the park to shut down that slide the rest of the day.

And I was super embarrassed. I'm gonna say the beat all of the above. It's so impressive with you. It's actually secret answer, ee all the above. I literally have, I had that, yep, you're a step ahead of me. Oh, this is so great. How come? I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm the time. I literally have, I had that, yep, you're a step ahead of me. Oh, it's so great. How come?

He's playing so much. That's a queen. And notes, it's all, it's like the puzzle he's just clicked into plays and, oh, it's a big country scene. Yeah. So, someone drove their feet into his stomach and he shat in bomb it in front of a bunch of people.

It's a kid. He was like a movie question. You know what I mean? Like he's like a movie cushion podcast. Oh God. I got what are some rides that didn't make it off the drawing board and into design at action park. Hey, Challenger, a remake of the Chinese space journey ride, which killed six and injured

10. Be a reboot of the mind Bender roller coaster, which killed three people inside a mall in Edmonton. See, the Viruct, the decapitated pat infringement problems from the Schlitterbond family in Kansas. Or D false, no, every ride was immediately greenlit. They just ran out of money because they kept killing their patrons. Definitely D. Yeah. Those are all real rides, by the way. Yeah.

Oh God, really? The challenge, really? Well, they didn't call it the challenge. They called it space journey. It was in China and it basically, like it was going up and then the power failed and the whole thing just fell. The whole fucking thing just went, I just crashed the ground. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Okay. Jesus. Nice. Good way to end the show. Yeah, end on a high note. Okay. So Noah, you were the first to stop Cecil, so you get to announce next week's winner.

All right, I'm gonna, because he brought the mood down so much here, I'm gonna make him bring the mood back up next week, and I'll choose Tom. It's live show, Tom. Two live show. No pressure. Oh, yeah.

Oh, the pressure. Yeah, it's a string. Oh, I'm from Australia. Yeah, this is live lot of good to know. I'm from the And then check out my blog. Go on. It's really hard to tell. And it's... And if you have time, look at all the other amazing shows. I'm a part of the scathing atheist, the skeptic rat, and God of the movies with Heath and Noah,

and cognitive dissonance, where I am a full part of, with Cecil and Tom. I'm on every episode now. If you'd like to help keep the show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod, or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episode, connect with us on

social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citation pod dot com. We'll catch you next week, but until then we'd like to remind you that there really are a lot better things in the world than a wet New Jersey ice. Ooh. Oh. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Hey Tom, I'm drinking soda in here. That's great buddy. I was eating before. Yeah, okay. All right. Real pizza from Chicago. Yeah, okay. All right. Real pizza from Chicago. It was delicious. I'm sure it was big guy.

I'm sure it was. I yelled at someone else's kid for splashing. You're a hero too much. He was splashing on top of the pizza. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I look like a floating schnauzer. So what do you say? Dog paddling schnauzer.

So what do you say? Swimming against the curtain. He's jumping like a sand. Bony my mouth. Little check sweater. Call him Scotty from now. So what do you say, you guys want to ride some rides? Nah, my dad had a job growing up, so I'm not super into water parks, but thank you.

It's such a cock sucker. Yeah, fair enough, Keith. You can keep your shirt on. You had me at heat. I am peeing in here. I'm peeing in nobody knows All right little schnauzer and scuba gear is our master All right, little schnauzer and scuba gear is our master. That's right. I was just snarkle.

Meadress is crackers jealously looking at a snorkeling schnauzer. It's fine. It's fine.