Citation Needed - Anton LeVay

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Anton Szandor LaVey[3] (born Howard Stanton Levey; April 11, 1930 – October 29, 1997) was an American author, musician, and occultist.[4] He was the founder of the Church of Satan and the religion of LaVeyan Satanism. He authored several books, including The Satanic Bible, The Satanic Rituals, The Satanic Witch, The Devil's Notebook, and Satan Speaks! In addition, he released three albums, including The Satanic Mass, Satan Takes a Holiday, and Strange Music. He played a minor on-screen role and served as technical advisor for the 1975 film The Devil's Rain[5] and served as host and narrator for Nick Bougas' 1989 mondo film Death Scenes.[6]

Because it's supposed to be a pop culture reference. Right, but I feel like that dates the episode. But it's herambi. Everybody's gonna love herambi jokes. All in baby, all in in in. Dutty, and I forgot. Oh, man. This week, this is the fuck.

Yeah. This don't work as a nice touch, though. Okay, Tom, Eli, I'll bite. What are you doing and why is Heath tied to a plinth in the center of the room? What's... Yes, thank you, Cecil. I quit this so many times. Okay.

All right. First, very obviously that's an alter. That's not a plan. I didn't even know what plinth is. It's not a word. I know. Second, what does it look like? We're doing.

Okay. We're obviously starting to say Tannic call. You could see that. Why, though? Have you read this week's essay, Cecil? Girls, money, all the heat we can eat. Guys, guys, no. Anton Levay, the entire essay was about how full of fucking shit he was.

What? Wait, why did he was? I told you guys that. I said that the whole time. Listen, why would I listen to you? Yes, he did. He did almost none of the things he said he did. He was just a fucking con man, that's it. Okay, but he was a con man with millions of dollars, right?

What? Wait, really? Millions? Like millions, millions? I'm pretty sure millions. Huh. I mean, are we allowed to sous-vita before we eat him? He looks a little tough.

We might not want to take him for a while. I don't see why not. I mean, I got a really big vacuum bag. Okay, nice. Nice. Okay, are you guys going to finish me, though? Gross, Heath. I meant eating me.

Did you? No, I didn't think so. Both. Have low-end welcome! The citation needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be leading these lamps to the slaughter, but first, I'll need some wolves in sheep's clothing. First up, two men who saw Satan play with 20 other people in someone's garage, Noah and Cecil. Yeah, no, he was going by the artist formally known as the Prince of Darkness

Even in his early days you could tell he was gonna be a morning star And also joining us tonight two men whose soul Satan had at the rest of this Snickers bar teeth and tongue It's fun sauce bar. Keith and Tom. It's fun size. I'm tired of people snickering when they see me. I don't blame them. I'm just I'm tired of it. So tell us, Cecil, what person place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event? Well, we'll be talking about today. So we're just going to skip over the page and think, okay, yeah, no problem. Today, we're going to be talking about Hapcat Uncle Fester Anton Leve. And he delved deep into the dark secrets of a nerd. Are you ready to tell us how enthusiastically he waved his hands and did nothing?

I am ready. All right. So who was Anton Leve. Anton Leve was an author, musician, and professional occultist who founded the Church of Satan and the religion of Leve in Satanism. And he's also evil universe me in like every way. He hated religion, but he did that wrong. He looks like a Superman villain, but in a bad way, not in an awesome way. And his entire life is based on lying. But again, in a bad way, not like the awesome way. The only big difference is that unlike me, LeVay leaned all the way into it and became millionaire.

And he got to have a sex cult. So I guess he's smart university, who just kind of knows. Well, no, he had a sex cult. We have 10,000 people who email to inform us that we meant to say non-AV and dinosaurs potato. No, no, no, no, no. They can go fuck themselves.

You know, guys, a sex cult sounds good, but given the hygiene standards post pandemic, I'm gonna soft pass on that. Yeah, right. Yes. All right, so tell us, he, what was LeVay's first big lie? Well, according to his interview with Rolling Stone magazine,

he was born in 1930 as Anton Zander Levei and his parents were Joseph and Augusta Levei. So, the line starts at moment zero with his birth. He was actually born as Howard Stanton Levy. It's a mighty, anger-trude Levy. leave me. It's a mighty, anger-trude leavey. But people aren't going to join a cult when leader guy is some dude named fucking howie. Speak for yourself.

I'll join any cult I want. Thank you. Also, his grandma is not a magical Romani person from Transylvania who taught him ancient witchcraft. Also, just to the record, that Rolling Stone article is amazing and I used it a lot. It's written by Lawrence Wright and Wright could obviously tell that Levet was lying about almost every single thing he ever says. So a whole bunch of debunking happened in the final copy of the article and Levet was

furious when it came out. a whole bunch of debunking happened in the final copy of the article, and Levet was furious when it came out. Pretty much the entire article goes back and forth between a paragraph about Levet telling a ridiculous lie, and then a paragraph explaining exactly how easy it was to check that lie. My two biggest sources were that article and a nine page fact sheet released by LaVay's daughter, Zena, right after he died, that listed 26 giant lies along with 26 what actually happened in segments. Ugh, not a great sign when your kid works harder

on your snopes page than they do on your eulogy. That's what happened. So the Levy family moved to San Francisco when Howie was a baby, and that's where he grew up. His biggest interest as a kid was music, and he focused especially on nightmare-themed instruments, like the pipe organ and the cli- What? He also learned the oboe, and according to his authorized biography written by his girlfriend.

At age 15, he was the second oboe for the San Francisco Ballet Orchestra, which is an orchestra that never existed. He was second oboeoe but he was Michigan man of the year He didn't come in second place there. I'm sorry. Who lies to make themselves second oboe My girlfriend lives in Canada. You never met her, but she has feet for hands. It's a whole thing What the fuck lies about and bra's about Obo at all. It's like you make it in a club as first Obo, and it pulls you mad pussy anyway. I'm not sure.

Going to the campus of Oberlin, and first Obo is getting so much ass and mouth and pussy and whatever. Yeah. Obo. So, during that interview, he told Rolling Stone that he had a subjective childhood

Exactly. He's a pretentious asshole. According to LeVay, during his non-objective childhood Fuck that means much like many Satanists he was bullied when asked about the details He just mentioned that his face was kind of weird looking as like a gap to it's got a weird face And that's when Lawrence right the journalist started flipping through Le Vais biography and said Okay, I just let you might mention something about this part right here

Does he have a tail? about this part right here. Does he have a tail? What? And, I'm a very responded. Yeah, I did. I had it removed when I was either 13 or 14 under very painful circumstances.

Yeah, so let me just say there are some things you chased that you're not meant to be. I just, it's like, yeah, I had the tail removed right after my SIDS went into remission. It's a whole thing. Before the Obo solo. Yeah, the problem is they didn't actually remove it.

They just docked it so that he had to go through the rest of his life with those little Cocker Spaniel wagging penis tails everywhere to see. Yeah, kind of adorable. It's like they're trying to wag it, but there's nothing. I got my butt in the action. So according to the way, he attended high school until he was 16 and then dropped out to join the Clyde-Bady circus and also flee from the law. He started as a roused about at the circus,

which is just the guy who does whatever the carnival guy in charge tells you to do. And that means at some point, they're gonna tell you to be a cage boy for the meth head tiger guy. That's inevitable. So pretty soon, Levet was handling eight Nubian lions

and, or Bengal tigers in a cage all at once. And this is when he really learned about magic. If he got knocked down, and was about to get mauled by 12 giant cats, he'd send out gamma rays to penetrate their brains. Oh, man. This was his only use of gamma rays that he ever taught. Oh, man.

You're gonna overuse them. I'm sure I'm not the first person This was his only use of gamma rays that he ever You want to overuse I'm sure I'm not the first person to point this out, but there's a tiger slash crazy liar criminal correlation here that science needs to explore Also speaking of science needing to explore things further. It's entirely possible that the world was once home to a satanic tiger hulk and we need his story. Oh, wait a minute, we're just gonna gloss over that he fled the law for reasons. Just like a minute ago, he was second oboe. I like, I don't know how did he fall so far from

great years. What a thing. So the way was a magical lion Wrangler What happened years? What happened? What happened? So Leveille was a magical lion wrangler for a while. But then he realized that his murdery, creepy fucking childhood colliopean trist had paid off perfectly. And he became the circus colliopeous. Oh, that's the thing. Which says a real word.

What? And is it? That's when he first became cynical about religion. It's a real word. What? And is it? That's when he first became cynical about religion. You notice that the same men who were going to the ex-rated shows on Saturday night would also attend the religious tent revival meetings on Sunday morning. When he eventually wrote the Satanic Bible, he mentioned this moral double standard as the origin of his quest to defy Christianity.

And just one of their detail on that. There's absolutely no evidence that Levee ever worked at a circus or carnival in any capacity. But he did have a Jo Doe in Japan. I feel like he's very confused about how making up stories works. Like, I get the lion taming, that's kind of bad ass, but like the detail of later getting promoted to calliope player, that seems like a step in the wrong direction. Right.

Well, here's how you can tell nobody who actually worked for a circus pranks. I hope we get to the end of this story and he's and he's like a one man band Kaliopeoboest. So he's like playing the Kaliope. Play the drama. And now he's got an oboe on that like Bob Dylan Harmonica. Exactly. Yeah. Right.

So long as career in the circus colliope business and probably being serial killer because that's what fucking colliope players do. I really don't like the colliope. So after that, Lemay started working as an organist in bars and nightclubs.

And this included a regular gig as part of a burlesque show in Los Angeles at the Mayan theater. While he was working there, he had an affair with Marilyn Monroe. Don't cut. When she was a dancer at the Mayan before getting famous. Yeah, don't be too. Somebody should have pointed out to LeVay that if your made up biography is going to intersect with someone, maybe don't choose one of the most famous and well-documented women in all of modern history. Yeah, right. Maybe.

Also, just one other little detail on that. There's absolutely no chance he had an affair with Marilyn Monroe ever. No? The manager of the Mayan said she was never a dancer there, and also pointed out that they never used the theater as a burlesque house. Also, just fucking no. Just absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. dancer there and also pointed out that they never used the theater as a burlesque house. Also just fucking no. I took the trouble to like look up his picture at this point and he looks like fucking

Danny Treo after seven months in chemotherapy. And also has there ever been more shadow side to camera portraits taken of one person we get you fucking spooky dude calm down. What happened? Kim and Alan Moore have a contest go ahead. Take it easy, howie. It's cool, howie. All right, so long as time in the LA music business

and his time having an affair with the biggest sex symbol in American history, so probably just more serial killing with clown music. And then they moved back to San Francisco and met his future wife, Carol Lansing. They got married in 1951 when she was 15 years old. Wow. Oh, that's good.

And Carol gave birth to their daughter, Carla, a year later. This is when Anton got a job with the San Francisco Police Department as a photographer and also psychic investigator. Nice. That means he would use magic powers to speak with murder victims and help the homicide detectives.

Or he spoke directly with the murder victims that he murdered while playing the crime. And was, or maybe he was claiming he was an investigator of psychics. It's not clear. Well, I'm sure all of those interpretations are equally true. That's why it's correct. Speaking of which, just one other little detail on that, there are absolutely no records that the San Francisco Police Department of hiring a psychic investigator named Anton Levei or

Howie Levy or any other Also, no investigators of psychics Okay, I would really love to be there for that interview though So anyway, I can talk to the dead people or for the dead people. Also, I can read the minds of bad guys. If you like, I'm not picky. Okay, great. Well, uh, Mr. Levy, uh, it's, I'm sorry, it's Levy. Uh, no, no, it is not. Uh, we've got your resume. Uh, you know, that's real parchment, by the way. Yeah, great. Uh, but we'll let you know if we need your help. Anton, are you almost done?

Uh, you all sat, honey. Oh, this must be your daughter. Uh, no, that's my wife. Yikes. Right? Jesus Christ. So, segue out of that during the 1960s, Levei became a local celebrity in San Francisco as a musician, paranormal expert, and professional, like, proto-hipster obnoxious guy.

Especially noticeable was when he walked around town with his pet black leopard named Zoltan. But eventually Zoltan got run over by a car because you know it's a leopard walking around a major city. So the they replaced Zoltan with a lion named Higare. Okay. But the city quickly made a law pretty sure just for him that said okay, no having lions and tigers or Hup. No, also not leopards as a house pet regardless of gamma rays or anything else like that, just you can't have them. So, Hugare got sent to zoo. Hugare, I speak of experience when I say there's nothing better than a city ordinance that is very clearly just directed at you.

I think all of Black America would beg to dip all my fucking shoes. Well, they can't. Yeah, this is when LeVay started using his local fame to build the early stages of a cult. It started with his Friday night lectures on dark rituals and the occult. It became pretty popular, and he opened them up to the public, charging two dollars a person to hear him teach about stuff like,

love potions and monkey glands, or magical cannibalism. On cannibal night, he actually got a human thigh from a doctor friend and served it to the guests Magical cannibalism. You know all cannibalism is magical if you share it with the right person Where's could we blind this back a little bit? He, does every doctor have a human thigh just laying around to share? I have a lot of questions, I have more questions than I have answers right now. I feel like most of them have at least two. That's a great question. Time are they boneless, skinless thighs or did they have a bone in?

A lot of questions. It wasn't clear. He served some human though. So these lecture events went really well and of course taxation is theft So Levei decided to start a religion and it all became official on April 30th 1966 also known as Saint while Purgis night. No what's the celebration of the German state of Protection against witchcraft, rabies and whipping cough.

It's a great tragedy. It's also the 21st anniversary of Hitler killing himself that day. Okay. Apparently those are both very important to Anton Levet. So that night he ritualistically shaved his head, explaining how this was the tradition of ancient executioners from the devil worshipping Yazidi tribe, and he declared the Church of Satan to be open for business. He also proclaimed that 1966 was now called Year One in the Age of Satan, or Anno Satanus I. Oh, I see. That makes everything you did before that day. BS, right?

We're saying that's good. I'm gonna go ahead and say it though of all the ways that religions have used to try to hide male pattern baldness. His might be the least so. I just wonder how the fuck you shave your head ritualistically. What do you have to use a quartz razor and like sage-centred soap? you shave your head ritualistically. Like, what is that? You have to use a quartz razor and like sage-centred soap. What the fuck is that even? Yeah, ritualistic.

There's a very secular way to do that also, Tom, that some people do. And one other detail on all that, pretty much that whole thing was made up after the fact. Yes, in the summer of 1966, well after the first night of Anno St. Thomas, a newspaper wrote an article about LeVe that called him high priest of the devil's church.

And that's when he clearly made up a story using the things in his head at that very moment, which were rabies, whooping cough, and Hitler. And it was later revealed by his family that he actually shaved his head after losing a bet and made up the ancient executioner thing as a cover. And there's actually a bit more to the story of LeVais' very intentional physical appearance overhaul at this point. And this is one of my favorite details. It's very likely that he stole his entire demon look

from a TV show called The Wild Wild West. On March 25th of 1966, they had an episode featuring a satanic cult leader played by Don Rickles. The horror fans, that character, that's exactly exactly like the character Anton Levea adopted for himself a month later. Some way. But I mean, Jeff Sessions graduated college and started his career and created his look a year after the Kebler Elf was created.

So there are no coincidences. There's no coincidences. All right. Well, I think it's pretty obvious that Anton Levea is about to win his way into Frank Sinatra's heart. So, let's take a quick rinse for a little Apple Pooh? Oh, no. I can't believe we're doing this! Don't worry, darling. Don't worry. You'll be an adventure. Greetings, mortals. Welcome to the Church of Satan.

Oh, spooky, right? Right? Cool. So, you must be Mr. Levy? It's...it's Levy. No, no, it's not not. No it's not. Anyway, this is the fountain of blood. Sup from it and live forever. Oh, forever! Hey, howie, what should I do with all these cool aid bottles?

Recycling? I don't know. I'm kind of in the middle of a thing. Oh, all right. Welcome to the church of Satan! Really? Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. It's an delivery. Sorry. Boss wouldn't let me quote, mash it up so it looks like blood and stuff. I don't do that.

Oh, okay, well then you can just put it in the back then. Yeah, cool. I got it. Hey, Mr I gotta say this church seems to be Well if I'm being honest kind of phony. Yeah, can you give us any reason to stay? We're way less rapy than all the other churches. Oh Nice, okay, something you guys want some zah? Don't call it zah. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ And we're back.

When we left off, Anton Levey, new several women who didn't care about labels. What happened to him? All right, so with the Church of Satan in full swing, Leve started writing books about his belief system, starting with the satanic Bible. And the belief system is called atheism, end of system. But that doesn't make, called happen very well. So he added a bunch of magic and a bunch of thinly veiled eugenics to really make it pop. His major influences, according to him, included P.T. Barnum, Rasputin,

what? And Ine Rand. What? Lave, unabashedly described his version of Satanism as quote, Ine Rand's philosophy with ceremony and ritual. Oh, good. Placeral itch and great. That makes sense. I mean, the Republicans richly got every social program.

Oh, they're rich. The marketing for this thing must have been fucking amazing, right? Like, fuck you, you're on your own. Now with 50% more incense. Yeah. It's only getting 50% more incense. Yeah. I'm only getting a little more incense. That's about right. And not surprisingly, Le Vais target demographic was

overprivileged, whiny white men. Oh no, where will he find some? Yeah, he found him. And of course the cult also had the women that those overprivileged, whiny white men would pressure into being topless during the rituals because female nipples are magical. And by the way, according to the FBI, the average Satanist is a white male in his 20s who found Satanism in his late teens.

Just like the average, I'm random, doosieist actually. Oh, Keith, I just feel like it's unfair to compare the two groups. I mean, look, one is a literal vampiric cult that worships the cause of all evil. And the others are just Satanists. Right? Yeah, that's a lot of. Right, but they're both equally rooted in fact. So it's a good way to tie.

So the basic tenets of Levane Satanism are found at the beginning of the Satanic Bible. One major part is called the Nine Satanic Statements, and another is called the 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth. And some of them are actually pretty good ideas, and a bunch of the stupid ideas are still delightfully entertaining because Anton Levet clearly wrote a more being mad at a very specific annoying friend. That's like a bunch of... Here's some of the highlights starting with Statement One.

Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence. And that's where lots of people stop reading and join right in front of us. Number two and three, they basically just say science is better than being stupid, so that's good. He's a naturalist satanist, cool. And here's statement number four. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates. Fucking Dave. ingrates fucking Dave fucking you Dave Dave number four read it please Dave and uh bitter next up statement number five Satan represents vengeance

instead of turning the other cheat and I like this one too spite is part of the religion that's solid number six was y'all in it Dave some more for talking too much seriously number seven and eight, basically a plug for social Darwinism. You know, do whatever you want and the market solution is perfect for rich white people. So great. And finally, statement number nine, Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had. He's kept it in business all these years, which is pretty solid. Yeah, but Steve Manuchin is coming for that spot, right? He's got to be feeling it at this point.

And that brings us to the 11 satanic rules of the earth. And again, it's a lot of Dave's stuff. The first two rules are, don't give opinions unless you're asked and stop whining. Rule number three is seriously Dave stopped showing up my house. Number four is a follow up to that that says, if a guest in your home annoys you treat him cruelly and without mercy. Jesus. You can only do that if he goes to sleep first when you're all drinking. And next up, we have rule number five, which may or may not involve Dave, but it's super important either way.

Don't make sexual advances unless you get the mating signal. Honestly, I think switching to a spotlight based Batman system might be for the best at this point. Make that official. You have just no, he's still going to be looking at a giant H in the clouds going, huh? So I put Igor sign up sideways. Well, either way, solid rule. I would have liked to see the word consent in there, but this is like 1966 as close as you're

going to get to that. So something good in there. Anyway, moving on to rule number six. Don't steal. Rule number seven, magic on to rule number six. Don't steal. Rule number seven. Magic is real if it works. So don't question your cult leader. Number eight, shut up, Dave. Don't harm little children. Yeah, unless she's 15 and you want to impregnator. Yeah. Yeah, no. Yeah, sure. Number 10. Don't kill animals unless they attack you or for food. Okay, that's most of the animal killing.

That's not what we call that. That's what we call that. That's what we call that. What the fuck was Dave doing to animals? Jesus. Jesus. And rule number 11, when walking in open territory, bother no one.

If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop Destroying exactly quickly now we call that standing your ground Yeah, so that's Levein Satan is right there those the tenants. She's I'm surprised that like one of the rules wasn't I was two in the circus Dave so I wasn't, I was too in the circus. Yeah. Okay. Dave. So, during the late 60s and early 70s, the church got a pretty big following. Leve put together some publicity stunts, including a satanic baptism of his daughter

and got plenty of news coverage. Is that, do you just dry her out? I don't. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's probably it. I don't know. That's probably it. This is done into a ball pit of those desiccant things.

She's all wrinkled. Do not eat honey, honey, do not eat. It says it all took out the package stupid. Should have told her first. Yeah. So they got a bunch of attention and they set up grottoes all over the country. They even got swaners, including Sammy Davis Jr. and Jane Mansfield. Huge grotto fans.

And Levei actually had an affair with Mansfield. No, he didn't. Right after she died in a car crash, coincidentally, which he said was the result of a curse that he put on her boyfriend. Yeah. Well, you know, they did a lot of marketing. They also had a two for one curse night and a flippy air Satan outside the headquarters. There's a lot of people in.

There's not the horns that are flapping. That'd be great. So one other big event for the Church of Satan during its early years was the big success of the Roman-Plancky horror film Rosemary's Baby in 1968, which was about a satanic cult. And Levet made a big deal about being the technical advisor and playing the uncredited role of the devil in that movie. But Levetansky was like, no, he's obviously lying. That's a super dumb lie. So easily, verifiable and obvious.

Also, just heads up, you probably don't want me as a celebrity spokesperson. Yeah, that might be. I just don't get why all the pedophiles are fighting like this. They have so much in common with each other. Yeah. Honestly, of all the Polanskies experiences with satanic cult leaders, this was going to be

among the most pleasant. That's the most true. That is the best one. That's the one. Ah, yeah. So the church kept growing. And by 1972, they had hundreds of thousands of members. Or possibly a mailing list of about 300 people

with many of those being Le Vais personal friends who were getting some pamphlets. Somewhere in that range that I just described, either way, this is when they started having a schism. A bunch of the followers thought atheism was kind of fucking boring, and they wanted to actually worship the real demon name Satan. And by 1975, several groups had split off to start their own brand. And just by coincidence, Leveille happened to change the rules that year and announced, okay, you can't learn about the high level atheist Satan magic unless you donate real estate or expensive artwork. Hold on, let me just check the spells real quick.

Yeah, money works too if it's a lot. That's cool too. You also disbanded all the grottoes for spite because everyone was doing the atheist Satan worship wrong and he was all frustrated. And that's when LeVais' consiglieri Michael Aquino started a theistic splinter group called the Temple of Set, which was, it was the same thing as the Church of Satan, but you weren't allowed

to be ironic about it. He nails his thesis to Lavez, Dorit just says, but for realsies, though. So by the end of 1975, the Church of Satan pretty much only existed on paper, but the idea of Satanism kept going strong. And during the 80s, the entire country got whipped up into a moral panic about satanic ritual abuse, known as the satanic panic. What was actually happening was a bunch of nerdy white guys combining gothic larping with upside down Christianity. But all the Christian people decided that everyone they didn't like was secretly

fucking little kids and eating them under a chucky cheese. And this actually brought Levet back into the spotlight. He started doing big interviews again, got more celebrities on board and reinstated the grotto system. Presumably with people who heard on like Phil Donahue and Mori Povitch that pedophile cannibal magic was back in style and they got excited about it. Yeah, I used to be a Catholic, but what I like about Satanism is the honesty. You know what I'm saying? Satanism is the honesty. You're the reason. He's just to be clear, they successfully rebranded after being conflated with imaginary ritualistic child sex.

That's correct. Yup. That helps. That helps. Religion is awesome. This is the sport. Yeah. That's good.

So the whole satanic panic thing, it sounds like stupid, but it was actually super horrible and tragic. Why, it was stupid, too. Yeah. I mean, you're also a hopeless stupid. Silly, stupid, yes. Horrible and tragic as well. It wasn't just crazy Christian people throwing around ridiculous gossip in a panic.

They were going to the police and accusing people of sexually abusing kids with nothing but magical evidence to back it up. And it turns out the police are mostly crazy Christian people in a panic. So a bunch of innocent people went to jail for a bunch of years. Even the FBI was taken it seriously. At one point, the FBI heard about a satanic murder plot against Ted Kennedy. So they interviewed LeVay, hoping he could like teach him a dark magic counter-spelt

plot. What? What? Which I really fucking hope he makes. I remember when I used to think adults were in charge of important stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Remember when they told us we didn't need masks? That was fun. Adults

were never in charge of that though, Eli. They were though. So Levei kept going with group of thousands or dozens or whatever it was, but most of the national attention eventually dried up again. And despite the millions or dozens of dollars he made and the money from his parents and public assistance and the end of his life and he died on Halloween of 1997 except that's actually a lie to to convert to death

what's all lies he just wanted to be spooky somehow that date Halloween got illegally snuck onto his death certificates Actually died on October 20th, that's amazing That's an awkward deathbed request though, right? Yeah Fandon fandon my closest confident do me this favor in my final hours. Anything, my leash.

Change my death certificate so that it says I died on Halloween. Absolutely. Uh, why? I would be super spooky. I'm- I'm sorry. Super spooky I'm sorry super spooky. Oh, yeah, everybody will be like Did you hear Anton Le De Bay died on Halloween how Satany and other people be like? That's so spooky Well, they though you think totally All right, Mr. Levy you got it. Yeah, it, it's Levy. No, it's not, it's not, oh, Levy.

It's Levy. Howie. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. All right, so before we wrap it up, I just have a couple more details about Anton Levy from that Rolling Stone article. They did some of the interview at Levy's house,

known as the black house, because he painted it black. Some clips. And the house was actually owned by Mary Ellen Pleasant, the 19th century real estate mogul, philanthropist, abolitionist, and owner of a famous mansion brothel. Except none of that. Well, they got it from parents.

It's not even close to a mansion. And Mary Ellen Pleasant did not have a box. She is a crisis guy. Well, other than that, it checks out. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha It's just shaded like all his face shots. Like, say what true thing? What true thing? Of it is in shadow. And here's the description of Anton Levee's living room from the article, quote, beside the couch was an antique examination table

with stirrup side to side. Next to the exam table was a chair stacked full with LeVais various black hats. Oh God, that's just my favorite. Good to do one more time. Above that was a framed sign. It said, my worst enemies are those who presume me to be harmless. They cannot imagine how much I resent and disdain them, or just how great a threat they would face if I could get at them. Someday, with the help of time, space, and circumstance, I will be able to humiliate them properly. Not in a manner they would enjoy, but in a style calculated to make them wish they had never been born. That is definitely someone's Twitter bio. I guarantee

it. I just want to say it's nice that Noah decided to podcast. Okay. Go to let it call. And what last thing Anton Levet. This is pretty fucking cool. He is a pioneer of fuck robots. Well, can we leave it for a bit? That's right. Apparently he was a big fan of mannequins, and he had them all over the house in terrifying little scenes. He had like a drunk at a bar with like a pool of urine under Jesus' weird stuff.

And he spent years tinkering with Android prototypes and predicting that the science of robotics would soon be advanced enough to create an AI Fuck-Dall. He called this the forbidden industry and described it as quote, polite, sophisticated, and technologically feasible slavery. Like in a good way. It's nice that he decided to podcast. I wouldn't have said the last thing. And this is the record. Most of his mannequins had the heads sought off

and replaced with latex impressions of his friend's face. What? So at some point, Lord is right, the journalist rolling stone was like, all right man, I gotta ask, the journalist for Rolling Stone was like, All right, man, I got to ask. You're fucking those dolls at which point live? Started to yell action figures, man, then took the long pause and responded.

I tried to. It was gonna be my greatest test run, but just as I was entering her, the damn room started shaking, an earthquake hit. I figured it was God's way of trying to tell me something, so I ceased my activities, and then he added, okay, when I said God just now, you know, it's just a figure. And if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, he, what would it be? Anton Levei was born and died. Firm to all right. Are you ready for the quiz? Ready for the quiz. All right.

When 15 year old aspiring Satanist Noah finally got his hands on a copy of the satanic Bible by the Anton Levee hard to do when you live in a small town and all the bookstores are Christian bookstores and he read the trite bullshit that Levee was passing off as the nine satanic statements. It would remain the most disappointing moment in his life until a the Star Wars prequels beat. He realized that paying the pizza delivery guy with sex was just a vehicle to move porn so long into the happening. See, he saw how quickly the majority of Americans got behind the idea of a

preemptive war or D. He read the 11 satanic rules that came immediately after Wow, that's tough. I mean, I feel like they them. Wow, that's tough. I mean, I feel like they all kind of tied until E 2020. There you go. Actually, that is correct. So long series of disappointment since. All right, Heath, of all of Anton Levez-Lies,

which was the least impressive. Hey, all of his lies. Be seriously, even if everything he said was true, not even the mannequins will fuck him. See, he got rejected by a mannequin. B, D, even in the movie, mannequin, that guy gets to fuck the mannequin, it's true. Well, he was, there's an act of God, not really God. It wasn't, you didn't get reject, I wouldn't say rejected, but a, all of his lies, I believe the answer. Yeah,

that's, that's pretty true. It's, it's inherently true. It's, it's weird when it's a, all of the below, but yeah. All right, he's, what have we learned from the combination of LaVay and Alistair Crowley's stories? Hey, if someone says they can do magic, they're trying to fuck you. The Bible sucks so hard, crazy pedophiles constantly make better moral codes than it. Jesus Christ. God damn it. See, no matter how fucking goat's bloody, your cult starts out, it always ends with

infighting over parking spaces. That's very true. Oh, great. All of the above. Wow. Well, I mean, A, you always try to do a lot of magic for Cecil, so that tracks. Nice, yes.

But so do the other ones. It's gotta be D all the above, right? Correct. Yes. Oh, excellent. All right. I know you're a fan of Kaliope music. Heath, so what's the least famous?

It's somebody starts singing Kaliope music. I will put the show like I was seriously. Even look. Kaliope inspired musical. Hey, hell, Odali. Be a bisseigon c abadon Giovanni or D labo hemmeth

all right it's got to be big daddy Don Bodin's truck D the Lobbo Weymouth. That is incorrect. I'm sorry. It was Abaddon Giovanni. Very close. Very close. Very close. Very close considering that.

All right, you stumped him. That means this week's winner is Cecil. Awesome. Well, let's get a Noah assay next week. What do you say? Alright, if you insist. Alright, well for Tom, Noah, Cecil, and Heath, I'm Eli Bosnick. Thank you for hanging out with us today, we'll be back next week.

And by then, Noah will be an expert on something else. To be now and then, I'll be in a never-ending cycle of changing my son's diaper. No one will stock up on a cheerful a hat. Cecil will show you how to really cook a leg if you ask him. Tom will eat Cecil's leg and keep your 100% finished that. If you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. If you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect to the social media

or check the show notes, be sure to check out citationpod.com. And remember, every earthquake is God telling you not to fuck a mannequin. And then next Thursday we're doing a BAKESAIL! A BAKESAIL? Yeah, you know, brownies, blondies, cookies. Okay, yeah, okay, but... But a BAKESAIL? What? An evil BAKESAIL?

Okay, okay. I'm wearing cups. Oh fuck you. Okay, okay I'm wearing cups. Oh fuck you