Citation Needed - Biosphere 2

Episode Date: March 28, 2018

Biosphere 2 is an American Earth system science research facility located in Oracle, Arizona. It has been owned by the University of Arizona since 2011. Its mission is to serve as a center for research, outreach, teaching, and lifelong learning about Earth, its living systems, and its place in the universe. It is a 3.14-acre (1.27-hectare)[1] structure originally built to be an artificial, materially closed ecological system, or vivarium. It remains the largest closed system ever created.[2] Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

And the one where she coms the windscreen. Oh my god, yeah. Amazing. And when she leans in and she's like, back to front, oh, I got chills. Amazing. Come on, Cecil, let me out. Nope, nope. This week is Biosphere 2 and we're conducting an experiment on how well a solitary person

can survive and are hermetically sealed studio space. Not happening, man. But I don't want to. Look, you win survive and are her medically sealed studio space, not happening man, but I don't want to. Look, you win in there on your own fucking free will, man. Because you had a sign on the door that said best friends retreat. Well, now you're in there with all your best friends. Oh. Hey, Cecil, what's going on here?

Uh, you need any more exposition than what I just said or no? No, no, you're right. Guess not. But isn't, um, isn't Eli gonna die in there? Yeah, exactly. What am I gonna eat? All that's in here is shiny metal cylinders.

Those are cans of food, Eli. What's in it? It's tofu. Ooh. Where'd you get canned tofu, then? Shit, stock food. Don't say anything. Don't say anything.

What am I supposed to do in here? Well, I left a length of rope in a stool. Sweet! You realize he's probably not gonna kill himself. He's probably gonna use that to further the patriarchy. Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh. That hadn't occurred to me.

I'll get the paper towels ready. Yeah, I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good.

I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. I'm gonna fire up the power washer.

It's good. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. Hello and welcome. I'm gonna fire up the power washer. It's good. Hello and welcome. Citation Needed. Podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now.

I'm Heath, and I'll be hosting this very special episode 50 Spectacular. I'm excited. He's hyping. Seriously, everybody get excited. Fucking do it. I'm sorry. He's hyping. He's seriously everybody get excited. Fucking do it. I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. Oh, guys get excited. Show of hands out there for everybody excited for the 15th episode. String tonight. All right. When I say get you say something stupid, stupid moving on. So yeah, unfortunately, we could not get Paulie Shore and Stephen ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha for soy and crippling fear. Please welcome Noah and Eli. Thank you, sir.

That accident shit is flammable way overrated. To be fair, all the soy prevents me from being an alpha on Reddit, which based on my observation would mean gaining a hundred pounds and never having sex. Not really sure. Okay. The grasping the wolf metaphor they're going for on Reddit They're going for a lot of big dogs. Three little things on one t-shirt. It's a whole thing. Look at a lot of pugs on reddit. And also joining us tonight are two men who deal with bloated over budget failed ecosystems that take years to complete every time they

order a pizza. It's the only time anything I'm intimately involved in takes a long time for completion. So, it's not a bad. There's this weird chicken and egg feel to get a pizza here. Either you're killing the earth with the order or you're simply waiting for the earth to end for it to be delivered. It's like a pizza. Sure.

All right. So before we get going, we'd like to give another huge thanks to all our patrons. You guys are the best and it's awesome how you never change. You guys became a larger group. We'd have to start worrying about, you know, having money. And that's like a whole thing. So if you're not a patron and you're listening, you got a bunch of money you want to give us, we're very sorry, we cannot take it. Maybe, I mean, like maybe if you're a white wash defense at our studio, but technically nobody's allowed to touch it. So I shouldn't even be talking about this. Forget I even said anything. We are not accepting money. And if you'd like to give us money,

be sure to stick around till the end of the show and we'll tell you exactly where to go to give us money, which we are. Sorry, he, we have listeners who tweet us on a regular basis to ask if we've done an episode about something they could Google. Yes, you can give us money. There's a website called patreon.com slash citation pot and we'd like it very much and we did review God's not dead yet Google show name and then the movie and it always comes up every time. All right, with that out of the way, Cecil, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon or event. Are we going to be talking about today? Today, we're going to be skipping right over biosphere one and biosphere 1.5 to talk about biosphere two. And Noah, are you ready to educate us?

I am hermetically sealed as always, sir. Okay. So, uh, I don't know that that's good. So, first question, why did you pick, uh, a polyshore and Stephen Baldwin movie as the topic? know that that's good. So first question, why did you pick a Paulie Shore and Stephen Baldwin movie as the topic? This is the this is it was based on a true story that movie. This is the true story. So no, actually, I was going back and forth on a couple of topics. So I read the Wikipedia articles on all of them. And what put me over the edge of the story wasn't how funny it was.

It is funny, but what put me over was how funny the fucking Wikipedia article was okay so somebody involved with the biosphere experiment who thinks the press has done a great disservice to their noble efforts has made it their life mission to make sure the Wikipedia article also includes their side of the story so like the first half of the article is just arguing with itself that like the second sentence in every paragraph is not all but uh... and a certain point all the objective editors just give up and it turns into a series of and another things about how the scientific community just doesn't understand them so it's my blog the Wikipedia article Yeah. All right, no, it has citations. So, I'm too clear.

I relied on multiple sources for this essay. I'm not gonna vouch for the objectivity of the one on Wikipedia, but I do recommend reading it because it's fucking hilarious, okay? Dooly noted. So what was biosphere two? Okay, it was a hilariously stupid waste

of money masquerading a scientific research and not fooling anyone. The idea was to create a facility that would house a self-sustaining ecosystem, then lock a group inside for two years to see if they could survive without any outside supplies. All right, I'm going to save everybody a lot of time. No. I'm sorry. No, you are correct.

Spoiler alert. So, okay. Why? And the questions. Are you ready for your questions? Speaking of which, why would you do that? That's an important one. Apparently, they wanted to answer the age old question.

If a reality show happens in the desert and nobody's around a film, it doesn't make a sound. I... Well, the answer to that, Noah, is yes. And if you're wondering, it makes the sound of time-lapse Maggots on a course Night is the old video checking out those ASMR videos I told you about So fun right? Oh whispering maggots Makes sense I mean like if a reality show happens and nobody calls it in time, we elect the president. So, oh, yeah, maggots.

Oh, no. Oh, all right. So I want to be super clear. This was not science. It's a nickel. This was not planned in a lab or over lunch at a university. This was dreamed up by a bunch of hippies in a theater recital group over a boring hit. I love it. I don't know about the boring, but it was a theater recital group over a bong hit. I love it. I don't know about the bong hit, but it was a theater recital group. And while they did ultimately create a facility where any number of important ecological studies could be conducted, instead of doing any of those studies, they locked a bunch

of hippies in it for two years. You know, I started to write less hippies in the world joke, but now that the Nazis are back, those bone mow have lost a bit of their should of say, Qua. I miss the hippies. That's what I'm saying. I'm just trying to imagine the smell of like a giant snow globe full of hippies and instead like, my brain is just preemptively shutting down that sense. Like it doesn't do it anymore.

Okay, so how did a bunch of hippies finance a giant operation like that? Well, it turns out that dumb people are allowed to have money too. That's a mystery. Their dumb person was a well-meaning but scientifically illiterate dude by the name of Edward P. Bass. Ah, so you could say this article is all about that bass. Oh, that pun gave me no trouble. No trouble. At all.

It's a really bass. Shit that. Somebody's got to do it. He inherited a multi-billion dollar oil fortune from his family, apparently, and he used the inheritance to fund ecological causes, just not wise. Yeah, I'm going to say, it's, you're son, use this money well. I'm gonna use it to fight entropy. Okay.

Uh, maybe don't spend it on fighting the only universal constant. And that'll stop that. All right. Okay, yo, how would you spend it? Cause to be fair, like if I inherited billions of dollars, I'd use it to build a real life Thunder dome filled with him. He's like, why?

They're cheap. You got a lot of hippies. And you go, it's like penny slugs. Yeah, you just fucking get all you need is a, one of those T-shirt guns that shoots dime bags out. You're like the pie pie. I'm still going with this thing where he has to bite off your finger though. That's my business. What? Cecil's thing was my campus job. All right,

so these hippies, they get a bunch of money. They buy some land in the Arizona desert. And in 1986, they start construction on the facility. Over the next five years, they pour over $200 million into creating this massive habitat. Okay. Better use of money. Build a time machine or just buy de lorians until you get one the time travels. Go back to 1985. Tell yourself, no, you save a lot of money. It sounds like a lot of money, man, but like those human sized tunnels and those hamster wheels Those are expensive. I believe that's pronounced have a trail But if they done that at least we'd have some entertaining video from it, right? But no, no, instead they did this dumb shit. They're okay

So there's a human habitat behind that. There's the agro forestry. They needed a smart sound and word for that. That's where they were going to grow their food. One other type of forestry. Yeah, right. I'm a moron for us. So there are also five connected modules meant to mimic different ecological systems. These biomes, as they call them, included a rainforest, a savannah, an ocean, a marsh, and a desert. And of course, they Christian the whole thing biosphere to because the earth is biosphere. There's no biosphere three. It's actually called biosphere infinite and takes place in a cloud city with racing.

And the Mormons leased it for level three of their heaven. It's pretty cool. It's just like hook shot, laymanite, hook shot, laymanite. Now, I should say the scientific community largely dismissed this project early on as a publicity stunt or at best a scientific crapshoot, but the media fucking loved it. Right, like long after, long before the mission began, rather, the national media had deemed biosphere at like the last great hope for humankind it was going to save us from ecological armageddon it was going to take us to Mars there was nothing it couldn't do yeah and

then some idiot voted Elon Musk off the island that's why I hated that season that's right so you're asleep that guy's going to invent like cold fusion somebody's going to stick his head on a pike like Piggy and lower the eyes and we're not gonna get cold fusion Yeah, what he's gonna do is get his shit packed in by Japan because he's playing with flame throwers on Twitter is what he's gonna I don't give a shit what he does as long as he launches luxury goods in a space. Fuck you poor people. You need it. You need it. The weight. It's not weight. He's a weight. He's a weight. He's a weight. I don't think I'm in the car. He's a weight. He's a weight. I don't think I got it. I can't think of anything else to weight anything.

He likes to. He likes to. It costs a hundred thousand dollars or whatever. Yeah. That was made that rocket launch expensive was the car. So, so the media, they tracked the construction closely as they finished up the facility, and started stocking it with the 3,800 species of plants and animals that we're going to make up their closed ecological system. By 1991, it was ready for its first man to mission.

All right, so the plan year was to lock eight people inside for two year period and see if they could survive on a self-sustaining environment with no supplies from the outside. Nope. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what if they can't? The like they just died. They died with their face pressed up against the glass. Just slide down real slow. No, you said you said you were gonna try.

Like my mom at swim class. They're breathing condensation onto the glass like help with their fingers. I don't know what plan means honey. Get back in the pool. Now the good news here is we're going to find out the answer to that question there. Tom, because they can't. So, and if you want to look at why, okay, the only thing you have to look at is the God damn team that they assembled of the eight people who were going to populate this first

mission. Only one was a scientist and even he was was a doctor some pretty woody like extending lifespan through diet credentials i don't understand this criticism like what do you need scientists in the dome for if you just want to see if they're going to survive like i feel this thing with bear grills and survivor man that's not that bad for rigger yeah i mean the thing is surviving should have been pretty fucking simple right like that should have been the easy part uh... but they also didn't bring any bearer grills or survivor man's uh... now the wikipedia article points out that in addition to that dude another dude had a master's to create an engineer but like

seven of the eight of them had no experience in doing actual science they had no botanist no ecologist no biologist no zoologist also nobody with any expertise in farming. Kind of important. In fact, it seems like the primary qualifications for this team were A, being part of the theater troop, the dude who came up with this thing led. Okay, before we lock ourselves in this bubble, can we get a word from the audience?

Oxygen, okay. Oxygen, and we're locked in, go. There you go. And the only other qualification apparently was, love in the earth so much. Okay, calm this now. They opened it up in two years, and there's eight skeletons that recapitually.

That's close. No, that's close. Okay, all right, find seven skeletons that recapitually and one guy who's not vegan anymore. Closer still. All right. So eventually the faithful day arrives. The media is going nuts, the eco knots or whatever the hell you call them. We're all over the morning news. They're wearing these weird blue like no look. We're totally legit jumpsuits like they're fucking going to space. And then they have this impossibly pompous ceremony

where they compare themselves to Da Vinci, Galileo, the Wright brothers, and the biblical Noah. One time I got turned around at the mall, but I totally found my way to my car. I'm pretty much Magellan. That's pretty much. I got to do it. Yeah.

Just Magellan walking around a marina like, we were in J 15 what the fuck I'm gonna rail that Filipino kid wears in See now the mall is where you want the queer of magenta Gotta listen to all the shows Yeah, all the please no, it's okay. See so add it to row some Unless you didn't hear that joke in which case joke it's a row. Unless you didn't hear that joke in which case joke. Then like in any good scientific experiment, after this ceremony, they had a Tibetan Buddhist monk say a sunrise

prayer for their success. And then they had two Native Americans in full feathered regalia guide them to the door of the facility and lock them in. I love that so much. I feel like those Indian dudes are only too happy to lock a bunch of fucking stupid white people in a massive greenhouse in the desert. Like, enjoy living in this easy bank of it, whitey. Okay, next spoiler alert, when they open this thing and find eight skeletons, one of those Indians is going to have a single tear rolled on the side of the street but it's going to be from the patchy

and that's going to be what makes him okay but hashtag protect the sacred guy all right so so spirits were high at first of course uh... jane pointer one of the eight participants was quoted in new york times article right before the experiment saying you're gonna have to have to drag me out in two years. And it turns out that would only be because she was basically a patchyly-setted skeleton by the way. It's way funnier for me if this just happens to dudes.

I don't know why I just like it better when it's just dudes. No, I don't know, man, I'm an equal opportunity when it comes to shodden Freud like fuck them all. Yeah, this same here. Okay, so now before we get to the shit that goes horribly long, I want to be super clear on just how asking for these idiots are. Again, they're not scientists. This is where they wearing. Who jumps suits?

They were asking for. Yeah. So, okay, again, they're not scientists. This is a scientific endeavor when they tried to science They didn't know how to do it so they didn't take accurate enough measurements to make it useful for real science Not only that but they decided that in their biosphere they weren't gonna have a higher arcies and leaders Team Basically occupy Wall Street inside a giant gas chain.

Yes. So did they destroy capitalism and global warming and get us to Mars or not? Not yet. It took less than a month for the experiment to officially fail. So it's a two year experiment. Pointer who bragged about needing to be dragged out.

Actually was dragged out about a month in when she lopped off a piece of one of her fingers as she was taken out of the sealed environment for surgery. And then they brought her back in about a week later. And in addition, though, she brought extra supplies with her when she came back in. They cheated and they didn't even try to hide that fact. What extra supplies? Would she like keystering cigarettes and meth? What is he doing?

She just comes in, she's like, whoops guys, accidently, I left the door open this whole palette of food followed me home. Can I keep it? Can I keep it? She's like, I wish he wouldn't refer to Tom like that. Nobody wants to keep me. No one wants to. It's time. All right, so the media to their credit called bullshit ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha credibility already bruised by allegations of tamper prone data, secret food, caches, and

smuggled supplies has cracked. The junior experiment in self-sufficiency is starting to look less like science and more like a hundred and fifty million dollar stunt and vote. And we saved those for space exploration. Thank you very much. This is why people tweet mean shit about your dog. No, it's a secret among me. All right, a sick among you. So one

of the first disasters they noticed was the rapidly depleting oxygen supply. So within money, notice that. Yeah, it jumps right out of it. Eventually. All right. Within months, you guys notice how math is in green anymore. You guys know how like when you ejaculate you're ejaculating a whole lot That's what is that exhausted, but I'm coming so hard Worth it totally worth it. It's so fast. Thank you Tom Thank you wait do anyway. We didn't pack any food but these ASMR videos are fucking killer Anyway, we didn't pack any food with these ASMR videos. They're fucking killer. All right, so within months of the door locking, they started noticing a precipitous

drop in oxygen level by by six months in the sphere had the same oxygen level as like a mountain above the snow line. So they did the math and they realized that by the end of the experiment, they'd all have long died and they might not even have enough atmosphere left to carry the patchouli smell That's when they did the math like yeah, how did they not focus on oxygen Locked inside an airtight bubble and it's like okay wallet keys cliff bar great Sure now a cliff bar is enough

Oh, sure. Now a cliff bar is enough. So apparently they had done the math. They fucked it up though, because they did not scientists and don't know what the fuck they're doing. The problems stem from soil microbes throwing off more carbon dioxide than they expected. And then the bearer concrete surface, it was, we're soaking up the carbon dioxide

to make calcium carbonate well before the plants could get it and turn it back into oxygen. Of course, again, they weren't scientists, so they didn't know that. That wouldn't be figured out until years later when the scientists came in, but one way or the other, they knew that they were slowly suffocating. Like David Carity. Okay. Worth it, just a joke, worth it.

Okay, now hang on. I get not having scientists get sealed up inside of it, but they didn't even like borrow one for a little while when they were building it like the building. Part. No, you actually have to see one up because science happens the whole fucking time apparently. Yeah. Now, they did have a few scientists come in and they were all just like, this is dumb.

And then they left. So no, eventually they would solve this problem by the way, by having oxygen pumped into the facility and violation of the whole fucking point of it. But in a worst of both world scenario, they waited 18 months to do it. So by then everybody's like, oxygen deprived is fucked. Oh my God. What's the way to win it? Wait a minute, because I feel like the answer to the original question right now is just

It's just no like that's the answer. So why not? Yes, what is call that the answer that what's the new question? No, we Hands Day five they're all walking around in scuba gear. Hey This is not going how many of these tanks are left This is not going with how many of these tanks are left? 10 we should have brought a map of God Blue, nerd, I need an occupation and a location I dreamed a dream But apparently not being able to breathe wasn't the only problem

They were also running critically low on food almost immediately over the first year They lost an average of more than 15% of their pre-experiment weight. A lot of food they intended to grow wasn't viable in the environment. So before long, they're eating their seed stock. They had a shit ton of hands that were supposed to be a continuing source of eggs, but pretty soon they didn't want to share their food with chickens. So they ate those motherfuckers. They also had some pigs that were just supposed to be part of one of the ecosystems. They ate those motherfuckers. I do so like green eggs in here.

As it turns out, see, this is what happens when you don't have a Noah and a Cecil people. We're giving you gold here on site. I'm giving you gold. Well, I'm confused again, the pigs weren't there as food. They were just there as part of an ecosystem because that's how they fit into the ecosystem. They're food. That's the only thing they are wrong. Watch Earthlings. Watch Earthlings. It's on you to do it free. All right, of course, the animals. So of course, the animals they slaughtered weren't the only ones that died pretty much all the

vertebrates. Please see all these people died. No, unfortunately, no, it was the innocent animals that they put in there, but no, all the vertebrates accept them, all the pollinating insects, those all died off. Some animals did thrive, of course. Most notably cockroaches. You throw it at potato, you got yourself a stew. Yeah Also apparently now the cockroaches they brought on purpose because they're fucking idiots

But also because they were fucking idiots when they sealed the thing up They accidentally sealed in a few ants from a crazy invasive species. That's actually called crazy ants Yeah, yeah, crazy is so they basically the ants over in the entire facility within a few months. Hey, is this ant supposed to be in here? And then the alien baby pop pops out of that guy's chest. Some other just like, catch it. Need it. Yeah, right. He's having the alien around the ass. It's wasted. But of course, the disaster is probably best remembered for was the breakdown in group psychology. Within a few months, the crew broke down into factions, started hating each other's guts. Yeah, like atheist podcast. No, no, no, the world

knew about these guys. Exactly. And we don't have Johnson. That's right. Make for yourself. I was going to say, all right. so a lot of this stuff played out publicly and there again is the difference with the podcasters. Like, for just one quick example, when they started munching on the seedstock, one of the crew members told the press and then somebody else tried to get her fired,

so they fired her, but then she refused to leave because what the fuck are they gonna do? Oh, they opened the doors at the end end everybody's got like war paint. Yeah, please chain up naked. Hey You guys you about to make a burnt offering to No Burnt burnt offering a medium rare offering we're not

ketchup burnt off. We know a medium rare offer. We're not uncivilized. Yeah. Catch up. No. Now reports conflict, of course, but as near as I can tell, the groups split into two factions. One group agreed with Tom and they were like, look, obviously we failed at the whole ceiling ourselves off thing. Why not just stabilize this shit and do science? And the other group was like, I will let condensation off the windows need cockroach droppings. If I have to damn it, we will survive. All right. So I guess my biggest question at this point would be, how are there still enough fuck ups to fill the second half of the show? Are there still more? Oh, no, yeah, there was a whole second mission. And this one involves Steve Bannon. Shut the fuck up. No, really? Is that that Steve Bannon, yes. Ha, ha, ha.

All right, well, with my conundrum swept away in three quick syllables, we'll take a quick break and give the music for opera pove nothing. Eli, I can't believe I let you talk me into this. Come on, C. So you heard Noah, the media went crazy for biosphere too. When people hear we lock the entire citation needed cast into biosphere three, people are sure to listen to the podcast. Oh, I don't know. I mean, they're not finding it now.

And then the dollop is going to call us and they'll be like, oh, please do a show with us and we'll be like, I'll think about it. Hey, Eli, where's all the food and stuff that we're gonna- It's all around us, Noah. The trees shall be our milk mothers and the ground shall be our other milk mother. Okay, yeah, I thought I'm leaving.

Now, come on, Noah, it's just like camping. You love camping. Eli, I eat when I camp. And also camping, I hike. Camping, hiking, different. That's not the same thing. You know that, right? I do not know that.

Yeah, I'm kind of with Noah on this one. I just don't. Come on, see, so think about the jogging space in here, right? Just jogging around. Well, that's just a jogging space in here, right? Just jogging around. Well, that went on one run. One run. Hey, guys, where's all the cooking stuff? I'm going to make my breakfast at 84 pieces of bacon.

84 pieces of bacon? Yeah. Ali cut my dosage in half. She has to squeeze my heart while I sleep. Sir, keep me alive. I heard somebody say bacon. Okay, Tom Keith, there is no bacon here in biosphere three. What?

Boo. No bacon. Yeah, Tom, I thought this wouldn't just be an experiment in nature, but an experiment for all of us in plant-based lifestyle. I am so out, holy fuck. I was already that, but I'm more of you. But before all of you think of quitting, I, hermetically sealed the biosphere,

so there is no way for any of us to possibly... H like a! Or time can punch through the wall. To bacon! Right behind you, bro. Yeah, I'm coming, too. Tom, I'm coming. Ruined my bio-dome.

Nice. ETH's biosphere. ETHO's sphere. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OK, brothers and sisters, now that our experiment has begun, let's take a moment to just embrace what a beautiful piece of history we're about to create together Okay everybody

Food's running a little on the low side. I know we can do this together But I put a chore board off by the big tree so maybe we could buckle down Okay guys, we need to cut this shit out I got three p.m. status report from lindon our projected JWI I have slower than 20% everybody has to work through lunch, okay? No Christmas Everybody has to work through lunch, okay? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. No. Christmas. Practicality. Curing hippies since 1979. And we're back.

When we last left our heroes, they were starving and oxygen deprived in a Roach infested and hill surrounded by the bones of all their farm animals. Yep. It gets worse. What goes wrong from here? Yeah. The next year or their lives, basically, technically the mission does make it through the two

years. In the sense that two years later, they did open the door and leave. I mean, like by then they'd pumped in oxygen, they'd left for medical treatment, they'd killed everything they could, they'd fucked up the atmosphere, devoured their seeds stock, and there were a lot of rumors that they also brought in a lot of food before it was all over it too. So made it like $500 for passing go, like they just cheated so many months, this is going to count.

But you see, this is what I'm saying though, the snap challenge is not that hard. It's not like you're on a C's, you're vagina egg. You're probably had blue apron too. There's a sheet all over the place. Well, it was originally white apron, but it ran out of oxygen. Sorry. They tried Hello, fresh air. It's a nice curated oxygen.

You keep the oxygen you want. So everything else back. Oh, geez. Oh, I love this little detail to join her. The Chiku bragged at the beginning about how they're going to drag her out two years later. She wrote a book about the experience in it. She's talking about the very end where they're all lined up to leave and the cameras are all

lined up to see their less than triumphant exodus. And she recalls quote, come on people, I muttered to myself, I signed up for two years, not two years and a minute and quote. Yeah, it says that in Melania Trump's prenup too. So glorious sudden cardiac arrest, do we part? Whole nation jumped in on that one. All right. So the experiment was universally recognized as a failure by the press, although the Wikipedia

article would beg to differ. I love this is my favorite moment in the entire Wikipedia article. The praise and criticism section starts off quote. One view of biosphere was that it was the quote, internal quote, the most exciting scientific project to be undertaken in the US since president john f kennedy launched us towards the meant moon and internal quote others called it internal quote new age drivel masquerading as science. Now I want to point out that first quote comes from a discovery magazine article four years before the experiment started. The second one came from a journal ecology while it was underway. So wait, new age dribble masquerading is a science. I think one of the powder has that tattooed on her

face. I mean, to be fair, my Wikipedia has the same problem. It's a quote from my mom and then a quote from my mom when she's in a less generous mood. I think we're being a little harsh here, guys. I mean, they may have failed in every possible respect, but if we can inspire just one more poly show movie, I think you can say we're all winners. That really is the best thing that came out of this. We're going to stop it and see no man. We have more in us than so. All right, so after the first mission ended, Edward Bast, the billionaire that funded a commission to study to find out what went wrong.

The report was just a really first, both way of saying everything, dude. But it included these specific criticisms. They criticized their lack of a well-developed written scientific plan. Their ad hoc mix of scientific initiatives of varying quality and possible embellishment of data. Yeah, also tribal warfare. Yeah, sharpen the stick on both ends. Yeah, just one other small thing, not being able to breathe.

Like the possible embellishment of data. Hey, Larry, why does it say an area of a nine inch cot? I like the possible embellishment of data. Hey, Larry, why does it say an area of a nine inch cop? But despite the abject failure of the first go, Bass decided to give it another try. So we assembled a new team. This time, you made sure one of them was in fucking charge. And they set out with the far less ambitious goal of 10 months starting on March 6th of 1994.

And for nearly four weeks, nothing went to shit. The E. La Bosnick story. Go to a doctor. So many times we have to tell you to go to the office. Really on in this, Bas was sick and tired of hemorrhaging money with this thing. And he wasn't happy with the on-site management. In fact, he was so angry at them that in his effort to Ausdemy, he also sent federal marshals to serve them with restraining orders. Now, I should say it's really hard to pick through the conflicting accounts here and develop a cohesive narrative, but there was definitely some kind of like hippies fighting the corporate powers versus billionaire that already sunk over $200 million into this shit and has

nothing to show for it, but media snark dynamic here. Seems like there's only one way to settle this. Big ski race. Please tell me that. Big ski race. So please tell me they had a big ski race. I'm just glad that we settled a question that when we're finally on Mars, we can still have restraining orders. Cause there's some people I don't want to be

within two planets of. I'm just saying. Of all the people in the world to bring over, to take over from the ousted management, Edward Bass, Hires, Drumroll, please, Steve Bannon. for to take over from the ousted management Edward Bass hires drumroll please Steve bannon and because of this you can actually go because you did this job you can go back and see video of him on C-SPAN after the takeover talking about all the dangers of global warming he was gonna fix it's amazing and bannon was only like 40 years old at this point, but already looked like every lunch

lady combined. I got it. Oh, God. Perfect. To be fair, watching the last hope of humanity fail is a great origin story for Steve Ben. You got to make some more sense sense anyway, so Oh So I give you a minute. It needs a minute. So apparently the hippies have some very real concerns that if there were any efforts to cut costs on the operation, that would endanger the crew members inside. Hold the fuck on. Wait a minute. If this thing is self-sustaining, what are the new costs involved?

That's a self-sustaining. No, I haven't mentioned this time, but they were getting outside power the whole time. That's how so sustaining they were. They were. Yeah, that's not so self. No, it's just a cable from your name. Right. Right.

TV is free when you steal it. So are all the things that you steal. Okay. So also one of the original crew members, Abigail Alling, who went by the name, Gaya by now submitted a five page. I, I, yeah, fuck you. Yeah. Oh, no.

It gets worse. So she submitted a five page report to Bannon, a Bannon, detailing all the concerns she had about onsite safety. Now, Bannon admitted in a later court proceeding that his response to this was threatening to quote, shove it down her fucking throat. He's a fantastic guy, man. That's like so steep, am I right? Huh?

I can't help but just kind of love it, Steve Bannon, literally threatened to mouthrate mother earth with her own complaints about safety. Oh. Yeah, sorry. He destroyed the hope of humanity. Earth with her own complaints about safety. Yeah, sorry. He destroyed the hope of humanity. Yeah, yeah.

Origin story, not yet discovered. That's what it's story, not yet discovered. It's probably has something to do with mouth raping mother earth in a different sense, but yeah. So, so Abigail, I'm sorry, so Gaia, big excited. Yeah. So, so Abigail, I'm sorry, so Gaya decided to sign it. What's her own own, is it planet, like, planet X? So she decided to do something about it.

She teamed up with another of the original crew members due by the name of Mark Van Thillow who now went by the name laser. Oh my God. I'm not making any of this shit. I'm not making any of this shit. Are these American gladiators. Yeah, right.

No, man. I'm going to spray hairspray every time you say those names. I'm going to empty a work hand. So Gaia and laser. Jesus. She's set out to save their green goddess wonderland from the evil corporate takeover. So they, they set up a tennis ball cannon and a cargo net. So guy and laser, fly out to Arizona and on April 5th, and not even a month into the second mission, they sabotage it all to shit. They,

they open all the doors that they can, they smash out a few windows, then they go inside and they tell all the crew members that they've come to rescue them. And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about? We're just in the thing. And would you leave please? Just standing outside the dome with a boom box playing. Baby come back. Yeah, I'm right. He's gone. No, leave. Grand gestures never work in real life. Idiot. Go away.

Well, I really want to see is the restraining orders with Gaia and laser written out of that. He met the county clerk just rolled his fucking eyes right out of his head when he was right. Kim Davis is like, fuck this. I'm moving to Kentucky. So allowing that's, that's Gaia with later defender. So by saying that she quote, yeah, no, it's Abigail. So she later defender.

So by saying quote, I considered the biosphere to be in an emergency state. In no way was it sabotage. It was my responsibility. End quote. Fun fact, Gio would later change her name to George Poppidopoulos. Anyway, the guy leading the experiment was married to one of the ousted managers. So a few days later, he just left, right? He's like, oh, family reasons.

What? Family reasons. You fired my wife, assholes. And then a couple months later, another dude quit and they just subbed in another guy like it was a hockey game or something. By now they're not even fucking trying. Wait, is anybody even watching this reality show anymore? Like, they have an American ninja course somewhere inside of it that nobody's told us about?

There's just like Steve Banner just leaving shitty posts that notes everywhere. We are not heating the outside. Keep the store close. Keep it closed. It's in all caps. We're going to get rid of the microwave if nobody cleans it. Coxwood just everywhere. So by June 1st, when Banner and the company had failed to stem the financial bleeding, the ownership and management company dissolved. Wait, wait, how is this supposed to make money? I'm very good.

It was supposed to get like academic grants and shit when they show that they could do it or whatever. So it wasn't supposed to make money, but there was a limit to how much it was supposed to lose. It did not meet that limit. So the experiment limped along for a few more months under interim management, but it was ended prematurely on September 6th of 1994. They had the sense not to go back for a third mission.

So that would bark the last time the facility was used for its intended purpose. And now it's just another FEMA reeducation camp in a desert. So boring, such a waste. Of course, since I mentioned Steve Bannon, I have to mention the lawsuit that precipitated his departure. So Abigail Alling eventually sued the company for her treatment at Bannon, I have to mention the lawsuit that precipitated his departure. So Abigail Alling eventually sued the company for her treatment at Bannon's hand and was awarded $600,000. Yeah.

Although she, although she had to pay 40,089 of that back to the company for the damage that her and laser caused in their little. Then I'm assuming Bannon had the whole thing disassembled and flown to Iraqis where the twin brother Baron Harkman could use it. What happened? It so looks like Baron and Harkman. What I wouldn't give to go into bars to

you. Now that was not the only lawsuit that stemmed for the whole fiasco, of course. He'd probably be fine. the only lawsuit that's done for the whole fiasco of course he probably be fine he'd be like that's right decent that's fun so also uh... market all uh... augustin the company's original cio she sued best for breacher contract

then an accounters suit he accused her of funneling almost a million dollars of the project's money into her personal coffers and then also she accused you've been in of a laundry list of harassment against female employees including him saying he wanted to fire her because she was quote a woman doing a man's job. Yeah, and he would also jealous say that to a Russian pea prostitute later. So I got perfectly good be man. It was the juice. The juice being on something. The facility itself was first taken over by Columbia University who stopped sealing people

up in the damn thing and started using it for science. Turns out it was pretty useful for that kind of shit. Who'd have thought? Eventually, it was sold for $50 million and it's mostly like a tourist trap now. But I think Arizona State still does use the main facility to do science now and then. My hypothesis are people fucking stupid. Let's run the experiment guys. Resolve some clear. I'd be able to replicate it for it to be science. No, you're right. All right. So if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, Noah, what would

it be? Steve Bannon got the taste of destroying one the college and now he lusts for me. And are you ready for a quiz from the panel? I literally don't know how one could not be ready to make up answers to this stuff. So yes, I bet Cecil gets me on this. Okay, spoilers. All right. So the biotome turned out to be not such a great idea. What other hippie experiments failed miserably? A, Burning Man, to answer the question, is this contagious? Answers?

No, but only because everyone at Burning Man already got it. B, Coachella, to answer the question, is this beat the same beat as the last beat? Answer. I fucking love you, man. I just love everyone here so much. Or C the baby boomer generation to answer the question, will any of this matter when we stop caring? Answer no. And we we stop caring answer? No, and we'll stop

caring sooner than it's so very fucking sea. It is so fucking sea. There were all those movies that were like, Hey, now we're a bunch of yuppies. It's so different than when we were hippies. No, it's not. You're a bunch of arrogance. So, it's a lie. It's a liars. Is it C time? I think it's C. It's all those fucking answers, man. But especially C. Obviously, an experiment in destroying our faith in humanity could have been done much more quickly.

What evidence could we have presented to make the whole biosphere experiment a mood point. A results of the biosphere experiment. Is it A, the Harvey Weinstein Marshmallow test? B, the ratings of the big bang theories. C, the existence of Twitter, or D, the dodo bird, an adorable, trusting animal that we all killed for fun. All right, so we didn't kill the dodo for fun. We wanted its feathers.

So I'm going to go see the existence of Twitter. That is correct. I thought it might be. I figured it might be. All right. So what's the most important thing to plan for when you're being air locked in a bubble? Is it a air? Shout it out if you know the answer. Sign it out because to repeat A was air. A was air or B other. I'm sticking with my original answer. I'm going A for air. I thought of my.

Was there. You're a little slow. But it's all right. Last question. The montage video of biosphere to is cut to what song? A, staying alive. That's B. Not that one. Hotel California. C, hungry like the wolf.

D, I gotta get out of this place or E every breath you take I think I'm gonna go with I think I'm gonna go with E every breath you take. Sorry. It is B hotel California Check out anytime you like but she did leave and come back It's like never when you're still alive. Okay, apparently Cecil. Wow. That's like, look like a lot of work? It will be, too.

All right, now I'm going to toss it over to Sarah for last week's Twitter answer and this week's Twitter question. Thanks, Heath. Last week's question was, if the cast of citation needed were all in porn, what would each of our porn star stage names be? The winner was Austin Dude on Twitter with this. Tom, reckless D. Cecil, Harry P. Otter. Heath, Buddy Bear, Eli, Hanging Chad, Noah,

Adolfo Latio, Sarah, Hermione Danger, Lucinda, the Puzzle in a thunderstorm. Anna, that girl who walked onto the set playing 3DS and either didn't notice or care that everyone was fucking. This week's question is, if you're getting locked in Biosphere 3 with the guys, what are you gonna bring with you? Just retweet her Facebook share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner. Back to you, Heath. Alright, well for Cecil, Noah, Eli and Tom, I'm Heath. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then, Tom will be an

expert on something else. Between now and then, you can hear more from Tom and Cecil on cognitive dissonance, and you can hear more from Tom and Cecil on Cognitive Disnance and you can hear more from Eli, Noah and myself on the Skating Atheist, The Skeptocrat and God All the Movies. And if you'd like to help keep the show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes, connect with us on social media or take a look at the show notes, be sure to check out citationpod.com. Have you guys seen Heath?

No, I haven't seen him. I don't know where. Heatho-sphere. Oh, a cliff bar. Oh, it's the nuts and seeds. Yeah. Nobody likes that one.