Citation Needed - Carl Tanzler [True Crime Special]

Episode Date: April 4, 2018

Carl Tanzler Tanzler in 1942 Born February 8, 1877 Dresden, German Empire Died July 3, 1952 (aged 75) Pasco County, Florida, U.S. Occupation radiology technician Spouse(s) Doris Tanzler Children Ayesha Tanzler, Clarista Tanzler   Carl Tanzler, or sometimes Count Carl von Cosel (February 8, 1877 – July 3, 1952), was a German-born radiology technician at the Marine-Hospital Service in Key West, Florida. He developed an obsession for a young Cuban-American tuberculosis patient, Elena "Helen" Milagro de Hoyos (July 31, 1909 – October 25, 1931), that carried on well after the disease had caused her death.[1] In 1933, almost two years after her death, Tanzler removed Hoyos' body from its tomb, and lived with the corpse at his home for seven years until its discovery by Hoyos' relatives and authorities in 1940.[2] Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

My bracket is totally dead at this point. Yeah. Yeah. I had Virginia in the fucking elite eight, so. Yeah, you're fucked. Yeah. Now, Ariel, I told you, I'm the one who leads. Let's do it one more time from the top.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. And twist to the whole leaf. Holy shit. That is not what I think it is, right? Eli, right? Uh, I don't know, Cecilver, what do you think this is? Well, it looks like you're dancing with a dead fucking body.

Eli, no, I'm not. Okay, good, because this week's essay is on Karl Tansler and he pretty much did that. So I'm very familiar with the story, Cecilton. And you can trust me. This isn't a dead body. Okay, good. It's several dead bodies that I piece together

from at least six different corpses. Okay, you are unreal. What's that smell? What the fuck do you think it is? He has a dead body in here. No, no, no, not the dead body smell. It always smells like that in the studio. I'm getting like a breakfasty smell. Is it brunch?

I'm getting a brunch. Okay, that's right. You're gonna take that messa bodies outside right now. Okay, but I didn't even get to show you all the upgrades I made. Did, did bread just fall out of her crotch toast? I'm done, I'm done. Mmm, cinnamon raisin toast.

Love that. So Eli, you're gonna introduce me to your friend or a... Hello and welcome to the Citation Needed Podcast! Where we choose this subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts, because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Cecil, and I'll be obsessing over this episode, but I'm not alone in my delusions. Joining me today are two men who's combined expected lifespan, even in dog years, is as distressingly short as it is hopelessly futile, Eli and Noah.

Yeah, I mean, to be fair, at this point, I'm pretty unethical to breed. So, yeah. Totally, overly optimistic to think you could. Yeah, my goal is to just be more malignant than the tumors. Mission accomplished. Also joining us tonight are two men whose greatest hope to find and keep a woman will inevitably involve a shovel, Keith and Tom. Okay, I feel like you've been super judgemental about munging.

Like every time I bring that up, you're super judgey about it. God, I don't want to know that. You don't. I'm about to let that one go. Unlike the women of my base, I'm keep doing. Right. I'm going to keep those. And now it's time for us to pause and ask you for money, which we are doing, and which you are not terribly responsive to.

And look, and look, look, I know if you just want to lay there stiff and unblinking while we carry on this level fair with our audience that doesn't know it exists. That's fine. That's fine. We still love you sitting outside your window all night drinking coffee, eating cliff bars and masturbating to your shadow silhouettes. Isn't free. Just got to remember to get around that.

We need gas and bail money, mostly bail money. Our patrons help us stay free, even if that's a terrible idea, which it is, I'll remind everyone it is. And if you'd like to learn how to join the ranks of our unintentional bail, Bond's Men be sure to stick around to the end of the show and with that other way, Eli.

What person place thing, concept phenomenon, or event? What would we be talking about today? Today, we'll be talking about Carl Tansler. And I wanna pause here, say a few words. You know how everyone's always like, oh, Eli's so wacky. Eli's always playing pranks. Eli's trying to see which frozen foods

he can fit in his ass. Eli jerks off, watching videos, car crashes, whatever, ultra-altrump. But at least I didn't pick this topic, okay? Patrons, Emily, and Ravon did. So remember that, just remember what that says about Tom and Emily and Ravon. Ravon.

It's Revan. Revan's Revan from the Old Republic of Star Wars. Oh, I'm sorry. Jesus didn't realize. I figured it was just. was raving like a hot topic girl, you know? Just like obviously picking up somebody like Carl Tansler, just like black lipstick, powdered white black face makeup, black art, black, black, black, black person. War of Rod and Carson. We know that person is not listening to our show. Pause two, three, four. And there's certainly not a patron.

Pause two, three. All right, Tom. Now a clean cut. You show this article out of all possible suggested topics by patrons. This is the one you wanted everyone to know about. So she would begin regretting this now. All right. Admittedly, the story of Carl Tansler's not for the faint of heart or it's those with faint heartbeats, but it's weird as hell. I kind of like weird, you know, it's evident.

Of course you do. So tell us who was Carl Tansler. I think Carl Tansler was really just a misunderstood man who loved maybe a little too deeply, Cecil. And for that, history will remember him not as a hopeless romantic, but only as the Necrofeeliac weirdo that he actually was. Why can't it be both, Tom? We are, we're creating history right now. Just an Eli feels attached. Thank you.

No, what? Thank you. Yeah, this week you're going to need the tour browser. If you want to read about the topic and we're only accepting donations in unmarked non consecutive Bitcoin or Mineral. I'll think you're a big coin. Concecutive Bitcoin is fine. I don't know. It's quite that bad. Carl Tans was born on February the 8th, 1877 in Dresden, Germany. And that's about the only normal thing that he's actually known for. Not much happens until he's 43.

He marries a woman named Doris Anne Schaeffer and has two kids. Although I guess only one of those kids was a keeper because the other one died at 10 from diphtheria and also from the misfortune of having been born in the past. Turns out that's all we're born in the past Always getting black mirror that show is the truth It's happening we all think it's funny Only happening to people who are afraid of technology. All right. So, Carl Tassler traveled to Australia.

And this turned out to be a bit of a tactical blunder because while in Australia, a minor world war broke out and Australia decided that the best part of valor would be to stick him and everyone who enjoyed shits all into a concentration camp. And then eventually shipping to a jail in trial bay, which sounds like it was Australia's version of Alcatraz actually. Those emo sound ruthless though. Don't you see the whole concentration camp thing sounds bad, but think about like the other option was Gallipoli.

All right. Now dancer for his part wasn't terribly appreciative of his internment. And he tried to build a secret sailboat to escape, which I love. Secret and sailboat are right next to each other in that sentence. And I, I rather have to hope that the sailboat that he made was made entirely or at least maybe mostly from coconut husks. How is it secret? She's like, Hey, why is your Marilyn Monroe poster have a mask and a spinik or a mask? That's amazing.

That's amazing. Thank you very much. It isn't the morning. Then you go pee. It's like whatever. So the war ended before we get attempt is escape. And that I got to tell you, that's genuinely disappointing because I really want that altered history where this happens.

And he was released, but he was not allowed to return home. In fact, none of those jails in the intern may camps were allowed to return home to their native countries. And it's some bizarre post-World War I rule. Instead, he was sent to Holland as part of a prisoner exchange. While in Holland, he learned that his mother had survived the war and he spent three years with her before immigrating to the United States of this family, whom he promptly abandoned. I'm sorry.

Wait, World War I rule was this? Like everyone's drunk racist uncle gets to send you where you go. Just like, I am showing them great. Back to Holland you go. Give me a chance. I'm not. I have fun with your shoes and your legal drugs. Clip it a clap. A Carl settled in Key West taking a job as a radiology technician at the US Marine Hospital.

And he claimed that he had nine advanced degrees. In fact, he did not have nine advanced degrees. He told you that he's not happy. Well, I have fun in history, fun and math, a home room. I have one in dad, astrology, biology, biopsych, infinite, still hook shotting layman nights, it still works. It's just, it's scary. Strew. Now, the others that he worked with at the hospital thought he was eccentric and he gotistical and you don't have any close relationships, but it's probably not his

faults since all the people he worked with were distressingly alive, which it turns out was not tanters. It feels racist, doesn't it? Like, I don't enjoy fucking white people, but I still get along with them at work. And I still even fucking sometimes. It's about tolerance. You can get along. Laptop, some tolerance in this case.

You know, it's interesting. After this episode, do you think anyone would pick up a bottle of Tansler's Jam? Do you think they would buy that? We'll see. Wait till the end of the episode. Let us know. You let us maybe preserves.

Maybe preserves. Oh, brother. Oh, very. All right. So Carl, through his whole life was plagued by a recurring dream. Now I know that's not very unusual or terribly interesting because dreams aren't, but this one was of him running, not of him running around the concentration camp in his underwear. Certain he was late to something. These dreams were visions of a beautiful, dark-haired woman that he thought was going to be the love of his

life. And who he also was convinced was his late ancestor, Countess Anna,ed Anita Bonkosal. What? I know. Promo of things. And like that would like maybe just be kind of stupid and naive and harmless and only like incest creepy. And he not also run into a patient by the name of Maria, Elena Milagro de Hoyos. This Carl decided was the literal woman from his dreams. So just see like, you come here often, stupid, that was stupid. It says on your chart, you come on Tuesday, shit.

So then you met this woman at the hospital that he worked at and she was sick with tuberculosis, which was nearly always fatal at this time. Okay, I mean, I get that. Like I love a woman with a good Okay. I mean, I get that. Like, I love a woman with a good cough, you know what I'm saying? Like any kind of like upper respiratory problem, that's good stuff. That's what cough. Danzer immediately became obsessed with Hoyah, like you do when you think she might be the

reincarnation of your long lost love consciousness. She's just like, let me ask you, do you believe in soulmates? What about reincarnated incestuousness? This is a deep cut. It's like show me your deck. You know, like nobody gets it. You should. I'll tell you the story. He was not only madly in love with Hoyah, but that he could cure her of her taboque tuberculosis. He said about in his mission to cure Hoyah, which he had to convince her they had the ability to actually do. But remember, he was just a radiology tech.

He wasn't a doctor. Side note wasn't a radiology guy either. And other side note, he's a necrophilia. So he might not be trying to cure you. In training. Okay. Other other side note, heath is judgy. Let's just throw it off. No.

Nonetheless, Hoyle probably weeks from tuberculosis and scared. Believe Tansor when he claimed that he had vast medical knowledge and could cure what elder. He made a host of improvised tonics and potions and he treated oil with electrical and radiological equipment that he brought to our house. Okay. I'm going to zap out the tuberculosis. I'm going to do it through your nipples with this car.

That's what this is for. And so like at first I wanted to like, how is this even possible? But then I read an article later that said the tans are convinced his superiors at the hospital to just let him borrow shit from the hospital to experiment on her because nothing says love like, oh, here maybe this will work. Here maybe this will work. That's inscribed on every promise ring a daddy gives his daughter. And let's face it, here maybe this will work was also the dominant medical philosophy of

the days. So in the midst of these homemade treatment protocols, he professed his love for Hoyah and he showered her with jewelry and gifts. Of her part, Hoyah was busy trying not to be dead and showed little interest in Tanzas romantic overtures. Oh, you didn't get me anything. Okay, no, that's fine. Yeah. A gang of chief fields with blood. Ah. Again. Despite her best efforts to, you know, not be dead. And Tansler's, she very brutally up and died, probably to keep him and the friends up.

Fucking bitches. Am I right? Oh, man. And I've had women try more extreme measures. I can't. Yeah, this is one of those few times that dying backfires. We're about to find out. Oh, good.

Well, on that note, let's take a quick break and play the music for Appropriet Pro and nothing. Oh, Maria Elena Milagro de Heoils. I'm dying to tell you how happy and joyous. You made me the day I dressed in black, first cost your eye and gave it back. My eyes fell on you, yours fell from your face, then I got smoky marbles and quickly replaced them. I could see in an instant that I'd stolen your breath, my heart skipped a beat, and yours skipped the rest. And yes, a corpse is a corpse of course, of course, but my jyoda v comes from your jyoda mort, and they say that it is wrong to so loved deceased, but love is undying and I still want a peace. All Maria, Elena, Melagoda de Hoyos, their taboos and their prudery seeks to destroy us.

I can't stand their censure, and you just can't stand. But despite their denouncement, I'll ask for your hand, your still breathlessly back with your big lipless smile. You'll be so giddy you might lose your head for a while, but I'll twist it back on with a smooth, practiced skill. And well, live happily ever after, or at least one of us will. We'll have a beautiful wedding beyond all comparing with flowers and candles and great puppeteering, then we'll offer our vows with a minor eviction because Todeath do us part. For me, lacks conviction. I'm quite sure whatever that was was in good taste and proper form.

So let's unearth the rest of this story, Tom. All right. So, Tansler, reading his stuff is perhaps playing a little hard to get paid for her funeral and had a large, hard to get, as it's going to turn out. They're easy to catch. Hard to keep though. Yeah, a lot of up. The maintenance costs are a bitch.

Oh, man. She's high maintenance the way he's running like that. How many hours? What are you making? How many hours? Spade a large above ground mausoleum construct, it could visit her corpse. And he did almost every night, in fact. A dancer claimed that Oya's spirit would sit with him and serenade him with song as he

kept his fucking weirdo vigil in the mausoleum. And according to Tansar, she begged him to release her from her stone prison, which is kind of weird since he built her that stone prison. So that what makes it weird. He's gonna break her out of his stone prison. He's gonna have to bake a necrophile into that cave. And thanks to gay people, Jewish bakeries have to let Nazis buy a swastika cake with a dead person inside. That was a weird production of Fiddler on the roof. I want to say that right now.

If I were a dead man, eventually these nighttime mausoleum visits, they didn't cut it. It was time to take this relationship to the next level. Oh, God. Gonna move in together. Oh, Jesus Christ. So, Tanzari did the only sensible thing. He took a little red toy wagon to the mausoleum, exumptive decomposing corpse, plopped it in the wagon and took his love home

Yeah, the getting the corpse into the wagon is the tricky part though It's like, you know, you know, we try to flip a soft omelet He has to grab the handle backhand and it's all on the wrist I showed you this the last time we were moving that dead girl To be fair, he probably missed the hint that she was dead. No, I call it. To the other problem is in the heady rush of this new relationship, Hoya had begun to let herself go and was basically just a pile of rotting meat and bones.

Oh fuck, fuck say. I could see him spending the whole night chasing around stray dogs just a pile of rotting meat and bones. Oh fuck fuck. Say, like, you see, I'm spending the whole night chasing around stray dogs like a game of necrophilia, whack a mole. Drop that ankle, Mr. You will drop that ankle. Don't want to pick it up because it's all slobbery. So Tansler very lovingly and not like crazily at all like pieced her together with wire coat hangers. Oh, what? And he replaced her rotting eyes with a contemporary smoky eye look made of glass. Nice.

It's a YouTube videos on it. Watch him. Knowing that the way to a woman's heart was through a stomach, he filled her abdominal cavity with rags and smooth her death ravaged skin by replacing it with wax soaked silk and plaster. Parrots. Nice. Nice. That's called raper mishay. I'm just. I'm a ropy A mishay.

Once her hair fell out from her rotting, rotting skull, he fashioned a wig from the hair that he had left. And she was just about as good as new. Maybe even better. It's hard to say. Food can't tell for sure. Oh, and he also did this work in a secret lab that he built inside of a fake airplane in his backyard. Just normal guy stuff like man cave shit. So did he rebuild the cockpit on both of these two? Oh, no. Okay, this is like the ninth craziest thing a guy on this podcast has done to impress a woman. So I don't know why we're actually weird. Now, I have for her part like to spend her days as a stay in bed, why? Tansler, well, he liked her to dress up a bit.

So he put her in stockings and jewellery and gloves and probably a massive amount of ax body spray to cover those pesky rotting odors. And their love remained intact or very nearly so, even though oil would sometimes fall to pieces. Tansler is always there to put her back together. Sit there, breakfast. But Ron Conney, cat got your tongue. Drop it. Drop it.

It's just like weird. She always falls apart the same time every month. I don't want to like deal. I just like it's always. Do you think maybe that it's not fine? Everything would have gone just fine if it weren't for those pesky kids. So, geez. You see, Tans was also in the habit of dancing with his boo and locals began a little suspicious. What he stopped visiting the mausoleum, bought a lot of women's clothes

and was seen dancing with what appeared to be a giant doll in the window. Wait, hold on. Let's just dwell on that for a second. This guy became suspicious to people when he stopped listening to a singing corpse at the mouth. That's when he became weird. All right. Like many romance too good to be true. Jellis locals began to spread rumors that Tanzar was keeping Oya's body in his home. That was a rumor which was totally true, but so much fucking business. They love the thing dance. It's like she sucks at the tango, but she's awesome at the hokey, Pokey guys.

Hold on. Seven years after Oya's death, seven years, guys. Her sister showed up to confront Tanzar and she was all like, is my sister's corpse in your house? And he was all like, what? No. Oh, that corpse. Oh, yeah.

Nice. Oh, yeah. He starts holding hands with both sisters. No. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

I missed red that. All right. I thought it'd be okay. Okay, follow me. That's still no. I try to second time. I don't want to be in this episode. I thought you leaned in for a second.

I felt like you leaned in. Did you not? Alright, that is on me. That is on me. Please don't tell Buzzfeed about this. You're being weird. Oh, yes. First, everyone thought he just had this like really creepy waxed out, but yeah, no, didn't have that.

He did not have one. Authorities seized the Hoyock corpse from Tanzor and upon autopsy discovered that a paper tube had been inserted into a vagina. Now, I want to be very clear and fair here because it's not clear from any of the articles that I read that he actually fucked that. Yes it is. Yes it is. It's clear.

But it does seem pretty clear that there would be much need to keep that station open if you weren't planning on making a stop. Sorry. It's not clear if you weren't planning on making a stop. Sorry, it's not clear if you fuck the tube. Oh, Wikipedia. You are the grandmother talking about her gay son of reference sex. Yes, uh, friend is going to be here too. No, just the one room there. The pals. That tube just pushes the maggots out of the way so we can make it a positive squirm bank house. Come on. Oh, cool.

Yeah. I mean, it's doing this seem like the paper tube kind of ruins it. What's the old saying? If it ain't broke, just fuck the maggot hole. Like, what are you going to put a tube in there? That's the old saying. You're right. Yeah, that's it. All right. Now, the funeral home that took charge of oil's body, and that they did the only responsible, respectable thing. And they

put her weird, weird body on display and take advantage of the publicity from the scandal allowing thousands of people to go out at the weekend of Tansler's love. Oh, God. Please, just please, Tom, please tell me there was a carnival game where you had to bounce a quarter into that. Just tell me that's true. Just tell me that's true. Oh, man, that's fantastic. I'm actually picturing a table of corpses and you have to get a ping pong ball in one

of the two. And you got a goal. You get a corpse. It's weird. They've ping pong ball and one of the two and you got a goal you get a corpse. It's weird. They've got the hung up one for the top. You got a big course, you get a fat girl if you get it in. Uh, a dancer was put on trial because fuck you. Jaji, Jaji, Jaji, thank you, Cecil Tun. The charge was one way and maliciously destroying a grade, probably because some poor law clerk was flipping desperately through the books trying to find something more substantive to charge

him. And the media, they just ate this thing up. How do we not have a whole for this? We're like looking like nobody does this. We didn't know. We had to say no to this. This didn't seem like it. We're going to call this the Tanzler from now on. The media ate this thing up and Tanzor became something of a celebrity.

Tony, I won't eat for a week. All right, so what else is new? The public. The public for their part. In fact, mainly women was generally sympathetic to them, calling him a romantic eccentric, but not that Buzzfeed article. That was totally different. That was a different take on the whole thing.

Definitely a bunch of weird fights at brunch that weekend with a bunch of couples. Just like, you want me to fuck your corpse after you die? Is that what you'd like? I don't understand what you're even saying. No, I want you to want to fuck my corpse. I don't want to have to tell you. I want you to just already want, I don't want what you're even saying. No, I want you to want to fuck my corpse. I don't want to have to tell you. I want you to just already want, I don't want to say it.

I bet you'd fuck Allison Charleston corpse after she died. Jesus, can you let it go? It was five years ago. We're married. All right, it all sounds pretty bad. Except like Taser revealing court, that he had a pretty solid plan around this.

Now he knew she was a corpse. He wasn't eluded about that. But he intended to use an airship to take her to the stratosphere where sweet, sweet life giving radiation would penetrate her dead tissues and bring her back to life. Fucking what? Yeah, right? We're upon one can only presume she would awaken, blind and terrible agony without organs, covered in waxed, and with a body roll shoved up for 12. So it is the quicker picker.

Pretty glad it actually gets to that stage in that flat. You can't even afford an airship because you're poor. I don't even understand what like what are we where are we landing on this? Do you want me to fuck you? It's so confusing what's going on. A buying airship. You want to get an airship? We'll go this weekend to get an airship. No, I don't. I want to be super clear, by the way, Tijuana, if you want to use a waken blind and terrible agony without organs covered in wax with a bounty roll shoved up your twat on your tourist brochures, no, you have to at least link to this episode. So we'll let you use it.

Yeah. Because of the Tijuana will soon. We will soon. Oh, this part I love because Tansar was actually cleared of all charges because he had the corpse for so long, the statute of limitations had run out. Why would you have a statute of limitations on this? Not sure at all why they had a trial, even if there's statute of limitations had run out, but I don't know, it was old and time. So fuck it. They did. Tansler, cleared of all charges, was taking care of in his later years inexplicably by the wife that he had abandoned

way earlier in the story. What? Oh yeah, huh. And then he also made a life-size effigy of Hoyov from her death mask that he slept with every night until his death. Oh. Now the rumors are that when Tansler died, they found his body curled up in the arms that dummy that he had created. But more believable reports on that he was found dead on the floor near

a bookcase. You'd be the judge. You decide. You know what? In this case, that's fine. A movie, by the way, is currently in the workspace on the story that no shit will be done with stop motion puppets. So pretty much a perfect documentary.

Soundtrack by Ted Ken Danes. Can it be great? And Tom, if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? I'm not doing that. No, I don't blame you. That's what I know. Let's just get right to the quiz. I'll just go to the right to the quiz. I don't want to have learned any right to the quiz. I learned a lot wax. Hey, for two. All right, speaking of which, I'll start to quiz off here. Everybody was super quick to assume the worst when you mentioned the tube upper. Which of the following non-sexual explanations is actually the most likely. A, creative umbrella storage. This thing's gonna get,

you gotta make sure to pull the way to land right off. Jesus. Don't open them in the house, sir. You just married poppins and who are you? It's like, it's bad luck if you open it in there. Great, now she's a teller. Oh my God.

Come on, it's not that big. Great. Now she's Italian. Oh my god. Come on, it's not that big. I went through like 19 races and cultures. I can do a tell you to get away with it. That was a... It's a wonder that a London fog in there. It's a fog in there. Who in full sugar?

Still a, it's still a. Who in full sugar? Madison goes down. There's a candle on it. You know what, I'm just going to close on A. There's no way B for the deer. Okay, so that was so good. All right, so B, where else are you gonna put your hand to make her talk?

Upper ass, that's fucking tacky, that would be rude. It is kinda tacky. Keep it going. It's a tacky ass. Was it C? It would allow into place your your various locations like a Lego man Nobody is too little hole in their feet are for fucking do they same Your dick just fits right yeah you're with me

Was it D that's where where the T shirts fired out of. It's D. And it's D. It's D. It's D. You know, that's where the D went too. All right, Tom, which of the following is a true statement about Carl Tansler, a detectives found a non-functional flashlight in Ms. Hoyas ass that never made sense.

Confusing to the whole bureau. B, Tansler's great grandson is the lead writer for Westworld. See the working title for that Carl Tansler muppet movie you were talking about is the mong and the rest list. Or D, according to multiple authors, Tansler pulled off a switcheroo and ended up getting Hoyas corpse back a second time so he could die with it. Probably by doing some sort of hilarious Thomas Crown of Fair hijinks with a whole bunch of fuck mummies. So fuck mummies.

Again, give it to the D. I'm gonna go with D. That is correct. All right, Tom. When you netflix and chill with your desiccated fucked all, which movie do you put on? Oh, come on. Wait, me personally, or hypothetical. It's a hypothetical. I would never, I don't assume.

I would never assume. Yeah. And mannequin, a sensible woman, B death to Koochi, C dirty rotten towel or D pulp friction. Oh, yeah. Bump friction, pulp friction. All right, Tom, what was the first song on Tansler's Necrophilia playlist? Was it A, rock your body by Justin Timberfake vagina?

Oh, she's speed. Can't get it out of my dead wife by you L.O. Terrible. I don't even see your body is a wonderland by John Mayer may not be fucking your dead sister Strongest. That's right. That's great.

That's right. That is wrong, I think. Whatever. That is great. That's right. That's wrong. I think whatever. The winners Eli is probably going to pick somebody. Absolutely hates Eli. Who you're going to pick? Going with my BFF. All right. Well, thanks for joining us. I'm thanking you on behalf of all the other guys. So you can listen to our other shows. Sk H and Skoppa movies, Skeptocrat and Cognitive Disments. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pot. We'll leave as a five star review everywhere you can. If you'd like to get in touch with

us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media, or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. Bounty, click a picker up. That's it. That's it. That's it. Oh man, Cinnamon Raisin toast with Nutella. The best. He loves it.

I didn't put Nutella in there. Okay, still. Don't ruin this for me. Don't ruin this for me.