Citation Needed - Carrie Nation

Episode Date: January 9, 2019

Carrie Amelia Nation (forename sometimes spelled Carry;[1] November 25, 1846 – June 9, 1911) was an American woman who was a radical member of the temperance movement, which opposed alcohol before the advent of Prohibition. She is remembered for attacking alcohol-serving establishments (most often taverns) with a hatchet.   Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details. "Heartbreaking" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/  

So the monsters are like ugly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they make you sad and you kill yourself. Unless, what? Well, unless you're crazy in which case they look beautiful, I guess, I don't understand. What kind of crazy? I got to think that matters.

I don't fucking know, just crazy, man. Okay, but what if you have manic depression? It's not the point though. That's not the point. What about like PTSD? I feel like it'd be different. You still get it, I don't think you get it. It doesn't make sense.

You don't get it. I get it either. And that, and that, and that. Guys, guys, what do you, oh, I don't know there, heathleten. I'm pod, pod past cracker. What? And I'm mic-ruf-ho.

Oh. Why are you smashing a pile of microphones and soundboards? Here we'll see so for this and here episode subject gave me an idea Carrie a nation was the mighty hand of prohibition and I figured we could serve that service for podcasts Okay, well, I get why no is on board now. That makes sense. Goodbye obscure comics whose podcast just consists of them talking with whoever'll hop on Skype with them today So long give more girls fan shows, which are just boring people who think they're funny saying what happened in each episode Sayonara this American life ripoffs about subjects nobody cares about Sayonara this American life ripoffs about subjects nobody cares about Guys guys guys guys. This is a terrible idea. I mean

Carrier nation failed Prohibition ended and she's remembered as a loon You're not gonna save podcasting by destroying all the bad shows. Ah I guess you're right Cecil. Yeah. Yeah Come on now. Let's return this pile of Yeah, yeah. Come on Noah, let's return this pile of four hour long unedited, bros making fart jokes podcasts. Okay, give me the fucking hammer. That's the spirit.

I knew we'd get you eventually. I need to destroy those cognitive dissonance episodes. Hello and welcome to the Citation Needed, the podcaster who chooses a subject, read a single article about our Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because it's the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Cecil and we'll be spending this episode nation building, but there's no way I can carry this show on my own. But so first up, I'm still not kicking for the fucking bear. No one is except any done nomination. I mean slip anything into my G string and all dance. It's just Pavlovian at this point.

I think Cody Parkies going to be getting that job too. And also with us tonight a guy so pale you'd be sure it was ex-sanguination and a guy with a big area 51 is an alien nation. Heath and Eli. Yeah, I'm pretty pale, that's valid. I sent my DNA to 23 and me. They sent me back a bottle of sunscreen. It was kind of a bill for reparations.

They said you can't just show up at a military base with a camera. Pah! That's what they want you to think. Patrons, it's the coordination of your donations that gives us the inclination to continue this abomination without termination. We're so lucky it feels like one big hallucination. We just want to show you our appreciation. And if you'd like to help make sure this show doesn't face elimination, be sure to stick

around till the end of the show or the culmination, if you will. And with that out of the way, tell us Eli what person-place thing concept phenomenon or event we'll be talking about today. We'll be talking about Carrie A. Nation. The answer to the question nobody was asking, what if good universe Tom was a lady? Okay. Interesting. Interesting take. Okay, Tom, we all stand ready for illumination. So tell us who was Kerry Nation. Kerry Nation, Kerry Amelia Nation or Kerry Nation. Was they rather shall we say outspoken member of the temperance movement from the latter part

of the 19th century, she was known for her subtle yet powerful oratory, her gentle, yet persuasive manner, and her calm, rational disposition. Hey, this is citation DNA. Check this out. No, actually she ran around town just smashing shit with a hatchet because she was on a mission from God to stop people from drinking, smoking, or wearing tight clothes. Oh, hairpick. Oh, calling it now, calling it now, she's Mike Pence's grandma.

Yeah, she looks like a sloppy pilgrim got arrested on cops. So that's just really good. So like George Soros dressed up as Sarah Huckabee Sanders. This is like. Also, I'm sorry, but carry a nation. All right. When the atheist calling himself Noah Luzziens is scoffing at your pun base pseudonym, it's time to head back to square one. That's for sure.

Well, carry a nation was born in 1846 in Gerard County, Kentucky. So right away, tragic, gross, born to George Moore and Mary Moore, carried grew up in circumstances when my consider less than ideal. Carrie's family was marked by a rather terrifying history of mental illness. Carrie's mother believed herself to be a lady in waiting to the Queen of England. And later, evidently done with the waiting portion, she believed herself to be the actual Queen of England. And later, I've only done with the waiting portion, she believes yourself to be the actual Queen of England. That's a much better hallucination, though, right?

Right? Leveled up. Yes, the Queen of England in Kentucky. So, I'm not sure how you get around that one. One of Carrie's aunts believed herself to be a weather vane. No shit. And a cousin of hers decided that he should probably live his life running around on all fours like a dog. Yeah, and he crap on the rug, but that was just because he was from Kentucky. Yeah, I was like, I was like, where else was he?

I was like, no one noticed a dog or anything. Or he was a wizard. What? Hi, confused podcast listener. That's a reference to the Pottermore Twitter feed. What? Huh? Hi, still Confused Podcast listener, Pottermore is what would happen if a Buzzfeed quiz, a

16 year old's fan fiction and what JK Rowling deleted from her books, all had a threesome website baby. Ely, I just went down two doodly dudes. We're gonna need a latter man or something. This is bad Sorry, sorry Sorry, is the top spinning I can't tell if the top is still All right since it was the mid 1800s and nobody had yet invented not being crazy We're just almost waiting on that one actually

Kerry was raised on the plantation by slaves. Growing particularly close to a slave woman, she referred to as ant-alisa. Yeah, she was actually a weathervane. That was like a real nightmare. Later, stand on the roof and point with the wind. She's, slavery was fucked up. So for some time in her young life,

Carrie was not actually allowed to eat at the same table with her parents because then other believes that children's place was with the slaves. That's, I mean, one point to the Kentucky Queen. Yeah, that's valid. Like, in what way are kids not slaves? Like, even right now, you know what I mean? Like, they can't vote.

You can take all their money, you can sell them so like legally, what's the difference? I don't think you can sell a child. You absolutely can sell a child. I'll sell a child right now. The white ones are more expensive. It's very simple. Tom is on eBay right fucking now. No, no, no, it's totally different.

Kids have to wake up way earlier when you beat them. It's the main difference. I think it's like 36 hours or less. I'd have to the Civil War broke when you beat them. It's the main difference. I think it's like 36 hours or less. Right, after the Civil War broke out, the family moved from Kentucky to Missouri to Texas as they experienced a series of financial setbacks and failures. And it's unclear if any of those moves amounted at any point to an upgrade. Yeah, I feel like moved to Missouri in Texas is like a, like a subset of financial setbacks and family. Oh, carries mother, the queen of England was involuntarily committed to an insane asylum

later by her son Charles, although that might have been because he owed his mom some money. It might also been because she was fucking insane though. That's not all that. It's also worth noting, by the way, that an insane asylum from Kentucky is an upgrade too. That's one of those true. I'm sorry, did you say I get my own room

with complimentary padding? Leave the way. So leave the way. That does sound amazing. Like I seriously wanted that, my entire childhood. Like no joke, like I wanted a room. Like all the mattresses on the floors is the walls of ceilings just all

Bouncy-cars were pretending to have grown out of that. Okay. Yeah, B2. I eventually didn't want that Shubby baby he's sitting on the floor of his cell. They can't put sharp stuff in your food. It's illegal It's illegal To do that joke. I just eat. No, I have to do that, joke. I just eat. I don't have to look in it at all. All right, Keri's father continued to fail at stuff in Texas.

So they moved again back to Missouri and they found themselves on their old farm, although this time sands the slaves. In 1865, Keri met and fell in love with Charles Gloude, probably just attracted to the beautiful music quality of his name. Right? Although Charles was recruited to be Gloyde probably just attracted to the beautiful musicality of his name. Right. Charles was reputed to be.

Gloyde. Not even the. Gloyde. And although Charles was reputed to be charming and handsome and a successful doctor, Kerry's parents objected to their engagement. Now what? Kerry's parents knew and what Kerry didn't know and that Charles was a raging alcoholic. Okay, that term gets just like thrown around.

Everybody needs love. Everybody needs to have some love in their life. I'm gonna ask all of that. You don't know. He's a fun one. My favorite part about this is they objected to the engagement because of his alcoholism, but I guess they didn't tell her because Carrie married Charles Glouitt in 1867 and she soon became pregnant.

Also, by the way, just before we move on, why is it always raging alcoholic? It's never any other term before alcoholic. It's always raging. I just feel like that's defensive. You sound like angry about it. Almost like you're in rage, T. I am, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm comrade, comrade, and you are. Whatever. I am very com. Just relaxed. A very simple request.

I would like to know some other adjectives that can go before alcoholic. That's all. What are your favorite adjectives? It's probably those. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Probably sky-fitness. Dioffinous. Ah! Ah! All right, here's what I'm confused about. How did her parents know but not her? probably sky openness All right, here's what I'm confused about how did her parents know but not her was she was he like pardon me Mary I'm gonna step out of the room for a moment shot shot shot Gary's just holding his hair out of the vomit stream for like the fourth time in a week. I dare say, Charles, you must stop beating this bad shrimp. All right. So their child, Charlene, was born in September of 1868, although by that time the couple

had already separated as a result of Charles alcoholism or somebody being a liar about in sickness and in health and their fucking vows, whatever. That's fine. Nobody really means that. That's just right there. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing.

They're like a real. And Charlene was born mentally disabled, a condition that Carrie blamed on her husband's alcoholism. Uh, Carrie, pretty sure when the doctor said don't drink while your pregnancy was just talking to you and and you gotta be a special kind of drunken shoot sperm with a proof percentage and pulled over alright step out of the car sir and uh...

come into this please already done before carry left Charles he beg your not to leave proclaiming that if she left, he would surely be dead in six months. So she left and he kept his promise, dying from alcoholism early in 1869. This did not leave Carrie with a great love for alcohol. Really? Because it seems like alcohol just solved her biggest problem.

I'm saying. Yeah, right? Okay. Eugenics isn't funny. That's what I'm talking about. I'm sorry. It might do in this wrong. I don't leave her. I'll die as a backwards threat. Right. So Kerry sold some land that she had inherited as well as her husband's estate and she bought a home in Holden. Now, it doesn't say what state Holden is in because the wiki just says Holden. So amazing level of detail.

Thank you. It's just somewhere in America. She lived there with her mother-in-law and her daughter while she attended the University of Central Missouri. So I'm going to guess now it's Missouri. Um, where she would bring it to? I'm going to guess the history now. I mean, she could have commuted.

She could have commuted. She could have commuted. We don have carried it on her fucking horse. John carriage every day. She's going to University of Phoenix online in 19. I just carried this multiple choice test that I was allowed to look at the answers up on the internet to my pony express please. I'm going to be a nurse. All right, she attended the green history, which she would put to use teaching for a handful of her more boring years.

Bishop had really tough that day when she learned that mom wasn't the queen of England, though, right? Very disappointing. An 1874, Carrie met and married David A. Nation, a minister 19 years older than Carrie. And a happy couple bought a 1700 acre cotton plantation in Texas. They did neglect, however, to know the first fucking thing about farming. So this turned out to be stupid. And they failed miserably failing.

It turns out would be kind of David and Kerry's thing, you know. So together they failed at him being a lawyer. They failed at her running a hotel. They failed at operating a saddle shop. A saddle shop? They got that wrong. How do you fuck that up? It's like, I made another flat one.

I mean, I was supposed to be flat or curvy. Mother fuck, I keep doing it. Sorry, sorry, it's curvy. I'll read it now. I'm gonna write down curvy right now. I got a leather ball. You can have it. I don't know what I did or how I did it.

I'm in Missouri right now. It's like two Pringles. You're saying like two one. I don't even understand what you mean. David did however succeed in getting thrust into something called the J bird woodpecker war, whatever the hell that was. So the family had to flee. Sounds like a future episode to Kansas

And he began his career there as a preacher and she began to not fail finally at something this being the hotel business So things were starting to look up a preacher a job you literally cannot fail it or or you can only fail that depending on the perspective That's fair They they're gonna figure it out because their marriage was terrible and they would continue to fail. You see, they argued about religion frequently. Kerry believed that they had a responsibility to help the poor and the needy and she regularly took in those who needed help. David, the pastor, evidently thought otherwise. And he was

eventually fired from his job as minister because his wife stirred up too much controversy by not being shitty. The couple moved to Texas though, carried in want to, it's understandable. And they divorced in 1877 without having any children together. Wow. Two divorces, a massive failure at several careers and a budding future, environmentally bothering, consenting adults. I'm sorry, are you sure this isn't Kim Davis? Did you maybe see the goal and you were in Kentucky too. I know it was during the time of this second

brief unhappy marriage that Carrie began her activism in the temperance movement. And this is when things would go from bad to crazy. Oh, sweet. Can't wait. Well, let's get some drinks and pour a little on the ground for Carrie and while we do that, we'll send you all off for a little apropos and nothing. Hi, I'm Tom and I'm Heath. You know, we like to have a lot of fun here on Citation Native Video. Wasting alcohol is no joke. That's true, which is why we'd like to remind you this is very serious.

You should go to patreon.com slash citation pod. For as little as a dollar a show, you can help Heath and I make sure not a beer goes un-poured. Not a scotch goes undrunk. Not a bacon-rapped potato goes un-eaten. Sure, you'll get access to a commercial-free early version of every show. As well as patron-only episodes Our suggestion box and more, but don't do it for that Do it for the alcohol that we will drink with that money patreon.com slash citation pod

No drop left behind. I'm very calm I'm very calm. Chug it. Chug it. Oh, hey, we're back. Okay, we're back. And last we left off, Kerry is woefully without a husband or an ax, Tom. What happened next? Well, Kerry had a head on for smoking, for tight clothing and for drink.

Though she was most outspoken about her hatred of alcohol, probably because of the way alcohol killed her first husband. And in medicine-loved Kansas, Carrie began her work crusading against booze, working to gain enforcement of Kansas's ban on drink. But nobody liked this because it's not fun, so she escalated her efforts. And her first Carrie would simply opine loudly on the dangers of what she called, quote, evil spirits. But when complaining didn't work, she began showing up at bars and saloons and serenading the patrons with church hymns accompanied by a hand organ.

She also was fond of the occasional pithy greeting to bartenders such as good morning, destroyer of men's souls. I would fucking own that. Should I put that on my name tag? Are you kidding me? I'm so happy. Fucking hey. I put that on my name tag. Are you kidding me? I'm even so happy. Fucking hey. Okay, wait, so she's been all her time hanging out at bars, singing loudly and being an

asshole to strangers. What? To show people you didn't need alcohol to do all that. And for my next trick, I'll soberly piss myself. And of course, nobody really cared too much. Some random crank didn't approve of their getting blind day drunk as was their right as Americans.

So she began to pray to God for some help. She described the response from God. The next morning I was awakened by a voice which seemed to me speaking in my heart, these words go to Kioa. And my hands were lifted and thrown down. In the words, I'll stand by you. The words go to Kioa.

We're spoken in a murmuring musical tone, low and soft. But I'll stand by you. Was very clear, positive and emphatic. I was impressed with a great inspiration. The interpretation was very plain. It was this. Take something in your hands and throw at these places in Kioa and smash them.

Okay, wait, by her own admission, God didn't say to smash it. This picture in God up in heaven. What the fuck, I told her to get a drink. I was hoping she would calm down. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay, you're saying take something in my head. Yes, battle ax.

No, have a drink. Why would take something in your hand? Battle ax, spree of violence. Loud and clear guys. I don't know. I don't know. Battle ax. What was the last thing you said?

You're not battle ax. All right, so like anyone with a longstanding and generational history of delusional mental illness, Kerry heated the mystery dream voice gathering rocks that she took the time to rename from just calling them, you know, rocks to smashes. And she proceeded to dobs. I love that. I love that she was like, my favorite part is the smatchers. I got to call him some other rocks. That's bullshit. Rocks. Poor people have rocks.

Because you proceeded to dobs and saloon, which she smashed, though not before proclaiming her intention to save its patrons from a drunkard's fate. The Hulk has a weird origin. Yeah. I throw that out there. And after destroying everything that a rock could smash, so clearly all the glass and the scissors but no paper. Kerry found Dobson cowering in a back room. He's just got paper trying to cover her. She's like,

I'm not even, I just hit you in the face of the rock. Okay, you see how that didn't work? It was covered, it's covered now though. As she calmly informed him that she completed her work telling, Mr. Dobson, I have finished. God be with you. And Kerry must have eaten her witties that day because after smashing Dobson's saloon, she gathered up her smashes, headed to two more bars which received the same treatment.

And because booze was technically illegal, the law let her run around smashing shit with relative impunity. I don't know if it was a witties. She just sounded like she was ready to rock. I don't know. booze was technically illegal, the law let her run around smashing shit with relative and punty. I don't know if it was a whiti. She just sounded like she was ready to rock. I have so many questions. One, what size was this lady? Why did no one stop her, two? Are you allowed to destroy things that are illegal?

Yes, thank you. Because if you are, I'm sitting at a crosswalk waiting for Jay Walker. Yeah, if that's the rule, there's actually a really easy way around that drinking ban. You just drink while burning down saloons. You're drinking it. You're drinking it is destroying it. You're doing the thing. It's everybody wears.

You use the moonshine to light the fire. It's in pot. You can't get in trouble. So obviously everyone loves smashing shit with rocks, but some measures don't grow on trees. And Carrie was at the time of the first smashing still married to her second husband. And upon returning home after a hard day of smashing, and after relaying to him her exploits,

he suggested that next time she decided to burst into someone's business and fuck it up because of a personal grudge over the lost love of her first husband, well, a hatch it would be much more efficient. To which, and I love this, she lovingly replied to him, quote, that is the most sensible thing you have said since I married you. She compromised between the two though, and she just used a stone age hatch. Yeah, the least sensible thing was I do, by the way, I love that this represents like

a comedy beat in the wild, right? And it's natural environment because at some point he said, now, huh? You can't just go around smashing up businesses with rocks, take the axe. Right? So Kerry began attacking bars with a hatchet. On one occasion, she burst into the bar of Oh, well, day. She took a barrel of his whiskey rolled into the street, broken open with a hatchet, and then set it on fire.

Figure warning. Wait, somebody was going to lap it up. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you don't know. Not anymore. It's a weird question. Terrible. It's not clear if the fire was essentially put out with tears, but I can't imagine a more

plentiful source of moisture given the circumstances. Yeah. But they wanted to put it out. I think it just pours some Canadian whiskey on it. No way. That's shit's going to lighten. I mean, 18th century heath, watching the barrel burn. So you're going to finish that or.

No, just kidding. Canadian whiskey is revolting. Absolutely not. You ruined the burning whiskey mud of American whiskey. I carried totally got off on all this destruction by the way and saying that during her smashing quote, my strength was that of a giant. I felt invincible. God was certainly standing by me.

When Carrie decided to smash up high end joints, though, like the Carrie hotel, she was arrested, though not until she had destroyed not only the booze, but a racing nude painting and a very fancy mirror. This lady sounds like everyone's mother in law, you know, like, what the fuck? Smash fashion stuff up. Look at this portrait of this harlot. That's the mirror. Mrs. Nation, you're a bad man. She's a fan of these bad two. Fan of these bad two. She dives into it.

The sheriff didn't take kindly to carry his vigilante one woman prohibition train and he locked her up. And I love this because knowing that she despised smoking, he freely distributed cigarettes to the other inmates in the J. It's awesome. To the collar. And then he removed her bed, forcing her to sleep on a stone floor. Suck it, Carrie.

Sleep on the smashers bitch. Would she finally emerge from jail? She was weak and sick and exhausted. It's kind of disappointing. This story would be so much better if there was like a prison workout montage where she shadow hatching things like that. Chop in the heads off chickens with a hatchet. Yeah.

They keep running. I frustrated. All right. So she decided to take nine whole days off from the smashing and then she went out again calling her hatchet wielding mania her hatchetations. She does the problem with most acts wielding maniacs. They don't have fun with the nomenclature. He's a whole field of bad name, right?

Lizzie Borden standing there. I'm not sure if I can go. I'm just gonna probably not actually have committed this. I'm not gonna be able to bad name, right? Lizzie Borden standing there. Oh, it's the parent track. No, super. Parent tracks. I need to ask my parents if I can go. Done.

I'm just gonna probably not actually have committed this. I'm not gonna be able to. Nope. Okay. I'm not terrible. As you smashed any place that sold anything that even had alcohol in the building, including places that sold medicinal alcohol, she even sometimes attacked the people that sold the alcohol. Yeah. If you saw a picture, this lady be sure she attacked her fair share of rum cake to the whole. Just busts in the house on the polished days, bitches. Throwing hatchets through everyone's hands, just pinning them down the table.

Dubs fly away in slow motion. Right. Are you walking in slow motion, lady? No. I'm old. Now, Carrie was arrested in Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri, and all the smashing and the arrests made her not a little bit famous. When Carrie would arrive in a new place, she was frequently greeted by swelling crowds

packed with both admirers and enemies. A mayor in hot springs released her from jail when she agreed to do what amounted to a ribbon cutting for a new subdivision. It took her three tries cutting it with a doll hatchet too. It's a spackling. If I knew the mayor's like, all right, put some beer on the ribbon. There she goes.

Oh, it's like peanut butter on balls. All right, carry the game taking, not just her. Wait, what? What? What? I was so hoping you were just gonna roll right through that top. Like, yeah, no. I was like, Peter, you know what he was doing.

What? No idea what you mean. Okay. See, so I did that back so it sounds like I also said. But I Gary began taking not just her agitations on on tour, but also began to do the lecture circuit. She paid her court costs and her jail fines from her speaking fees.

And from, I shit you not, sales of souvenir hatchet pins on which the words of death to rum were engraved. Redrum would have been more fun. Yeah. Mirror finish. I'm all told, Kerry was arrested more than 30 times, including once in Kansas City, where she was fine today's equivalent of $13,000. Now that is a sum that I think Wikipedia wants me to marvel at, but which I have accumulated in red light tickets in less than a week.

So it's weird that this lady demonstrably cares more about rum than we care about babies and cages. I guess if you think about it, I don't know. Eli, my babies and cages pins are some pretty good. I don't. Yes. Well, it also to be fair, when you attack barrels of rum with a hatchet, they don't try to crawl away.

This is an apples to oranges comparison. With drawn. they don't try to crawl away. This is an apples to oranges comparison. Like with drawn a carry also led women's marches though without pussy hats. So boo. And Topeka she gathered hundreds of women to march as part of the home defenders army in opposition to saloons soon carry became such a feared and formidable booze boogie man that famed boxer John Sullivan proclaimed, quote, tell her I'm sick. Not on my life. Will I see her when she burst into his bar? The famous catchphrase at the time within pubs was, quote, all nations welcome, but carry. Yeah. Now, uh, now the catchphrases all nations welcome, but Libya,

Yemen around Syria, Venezuela, uh, also no urban clothing. No, no, no, no sports teams hats. All right. Part of Kerry's crusade against alcohol was sediments the backdrop of a work advocating for women's sufferage. Kerry is quoted as saying, you refused me the vote. So I had to take up the rock. She may have also gently inquired if anyone could smell what that rock was. I mean, if this was her excuse for being addicted to crack, this would be pretty coach. But I don't get it. As is. I just think she wanted to rock the vote. I mean, that's what it is. I like to see now this is a woman who knew how to deal with political opponents. Yeah. Rock. Now, Kerry didn't always smash on one notable occasion in 1901,

Kerry and a large group of supporters were on their way to a smashing when they encountered barricades set up by the saloon keepers on arrival. Kerry called out to them, laughing, quote, aren't you going to let your mother in boys? She wants to talk to you. But instead of breaking through the barricades, Kerry spoke calmly and it blanked the saloon on her, trying to get them to understand the toilet alcohol took on the lines of those drinking. Oh, man, I was so sure she was about to launch herself at the bar with a slingshot like a fucking angry bird. I'm a smasher. Oh, alas, no, and there was no smashing that day though. She did make it clear that her goal was for them

to close down their businesses. Yeah, I mean, the guy in the hockey mask and Mad Max was super nice too. I'm not quite sure what's he doing. Yeah. Just walk away and we will spare your lives. It's eventually carried you weary of all the smashing, though, not until she had a mask,

they rather insane smasher's record. I would take a moment and of all the smashing though, not until she had a mass, they rather insane smasher's record. I would take a moment and relay all the places that she rated, but it would seriously take far too long to list suffice to say though that before she hung up her hatchet, she had smashed literally dozens of saloons, sometimes with a crowd of 500 or more people in a period of only two years. What's this from the top rope and smash? And after all the smashing was over, Carrie chose to wage her war against alcohol using her subtly named papers.

The smashers male, a biweekly newsletter and the hatchet. A newsletter. She also parlayed her fame into a career, She's male, a biweekly newsletter, and the hatchet. A newsletter. She also parlayed her fame into a career, crazily enough, in Vodville, those who's reportedly rather awful at it, lapsing into sermonizing and lecturing the audience. They sometimes through exit her and reply. It was a simpler time. Please say they were fossilized eggs. Please say they were fossilized. I'm just see that she comes out with a hatchet a bunch of watermelons.

All audiences like, you know, Gallagher won't exist for another 15 years and already this bit is tight. Now, when McKinney was assassinated, Kerry believing him to be a secret drinker declared that quote, drinkers got what they deserved. In poor health, Kerry supported herself giving speeches, selling photos of herself posing with her famed hatchet and selling those hatchet souvenirs. In Eureka Springs, Arkansas, the wiki says that she founded quote, hatchet house, which it is not described in any way, but which if you Google, you will find advertisements for and I am not kidding you at all, stumpy's hatchet house, which offers just the opportunity to

challenge themselves and their friends to the art of throwing hatchets. And which after reading made me realize that I have wasted my life. You have, Tom, we could kill everyone at stumpy's hatchet house. That really make the world a better place. Oh, it's the best though. There's actually an axe throwing bar opening up down the street from me next week. I'm so fucking excited. It's kind of great what happened.

But I really wish Carrie Nation walked into an axe bar like that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it looks so over. Oh, it was like the first scene of fucking Kung Fu Hasselon backs out slowly like the cool-aid man. All right.

Okay, wait, I'm sorry, I have to get to the bottom of this. Someone saw a mass alcohol consumption and thought to themselves, hey, this could use more projectile axes. Look the fuck are you talking about? That's a real thing. That's absolutely a real thing. You've been around drunk time and hate.

It's great. You're in this little cage. it's like a gun range, but with little cages. And you drink. And you throw fucking axes at pieces of wood. Sounds great. You are selling them. Oh, they sound like a fantastic idea, man.

You can throw two at the same time. You can cross your hands like you're like the cowboy, shooting guns, crossways. You can get fancy with it. Keith, can I take four axes and like put them side by side and then you cannot do any of these things. I'm gonna stop you right there. Can I just wear like a bunch of axe body spray

and go like, it's like a regular bar fit, right? And that's what you do, okay. You'll fit right the fucking Cecil. What's wrong with axe body spray? Anyway. But like, that would be like a negative comment. That's fine. You sound a little enraged there. Heath,? Anyway, I was like a negative comment. That's fun. You sounded a little enraged there.

He thought just I just I like to know. I'd like to know. Yeah. I'm not a raging ax body. It's crazy. He's nothing. Put that ax down. I put a reasonable amount.

Three spritzes like it says in the back in the directions. A few other notes. Carrie had a rather troubling relationship with her daughter, Charlene, although from Carrie's writing, it appears evident that Carrie loved her daughter. She also had her daughter committed to an asylum for a time. And she wrote alarmingly about Charlene's lack of faith,

saying, quote, I often prayed for bodily affliction on her if that was what would make her love and serve God. That daughter, Lucinda Luzans. Okay. All right, I'm gonna tell her you implied she was born in the 19th century. You know, is not if I, myself with an axe.

Eli, what years are the 19th century? Name the years of the 19th century. 1900, no, wait, let me finish. I was gonna go backwards, he was gonna go backwards, guys. I was gonna go to 18th. I was, thank you, no, up to 16 on the last. Yeah. Here you also had problems with take clothing,

decrying the fashion of wearing tight corsets as she insisted they were not safe for women to wear. For getting, I guess, that they look awesome and that that counts more. So you go, you go to an old timey women's clothing shop after Carrie leason. There's just a giant pile of women with hatchet wounds there. And I know I mentioned that Carrie wasn't much of a smoker. That is perhaps something of an understatement. Although she reserved her deepest, iron and rage for alcohol, it was common for Carrie

to approach a man on the street, rip from his mouth, his cigar, and stomp on it. She's quoted on the issue saying that smoking was quote, the rudest thing, a man throwing his smoke into the face of women and children as they pass up and down the street. Have you a right to throw in my mouth, which you puff out of yours that foul smoke and breath? And you would like to be called a gentleman. Oh, the twist ending of this is that Noah killed that lady when he was nine, right? Yeah. Eli, this is a true story.

They don't, nobody's essays have twist endings, but yours. But yes, I did. And during your final speech in your Rika Springs in 1911, Carrie suddenly stopped, gasped. I have done what I could and fell into a coma that lasted six months until her death. Also, she is rumored to have invented an airplane. Oh, okay. Well, you're done. Yeah, I guess that's the end. So if you had just this one, that's what you heard. One sentence. What would it be? Was I supposed to learn something? Absolutely. Are you ready for the quiz? I'm already peaking over my desk at your answers, Cecil. So yeah, all right. All right. I'll start us off here. A major Hollywood studio has licensed the rights to make a movie based on Kerry's exploits. What is the working title of that film? Hey,

Madame X. B is like a gender switch thing. Okay, B hatchet and clink. C prohibition impossible. Or D untitled Kathy Bates projects. or indeed untitled Kathy Bates project. All right, I'm going to go with C prohibition impossible, although I suspect we may be proven wrong next week. All right, Tom, what was Kerry nation's favorite drink? A, whiskey on the rocks, B, vodka toniconic with two limestones, see margarita with basalt

around the rim for D marble rye. Margarita's are all so good, but all of those. It is the bread. It is the drink. And it's all, it's, yeah, it's so many different things. All right, those are tough choices. They are. They would all make smashing drinks, really, but I'm gonna go with the whiskey, Cecil,

the rocks really open things up. So yeah. All right, sure. Yeah, fine. Tom, the last sentence of your essay was, also she is rumored to have invented an airplane. A, what? A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- That's the only line about that offered in the wiki. So that must be a self-contained fact, which requires no other explanation. Otherwise, why would they leave it like that?

They may have invented an airplane. It's not like there's like evil magic. You could look stuff up like you won't get in truck. You won't like turn into a pumpkin if you look something up outside of the Wikipedia. I actually, I actually read six or seven different articles on her to go to the wiki's garbage. And none of them say anything about an airplane. So I just, I love that the wiki just has this one throwaway line with no explanation that I can't find anywhere else. I can't find it. Any lie put it in there so he could write his question. Well, in that case Eli wins. Eli or the winner. With media vandalism.

Alright, I am going to choose my best friend, Cecil. Alright, well, for Noah, Eli, Tobin, Heatham, Cecil. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then I'll be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can listen to our other shows, The Skating Atheists, Skepte Crack-Out, Off the Movies, and Cognitive Disons. And if you'd like to help keep this show going,

you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod, or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media, or check the show notes, be sure to check out citation pod.com.

And remember, Jordan Peterson would be the modern day carrying nation. There are enough Patreon money in it. Okay, we got women who think they're funny because they talk about porn. Oh, TV review show that's just a gay guy and his fat friend. Okay. Oh, comedy crossover shows that are good, but never quite take off. No, wait, that's

Yeah, I like to buy like a a bookish one and I haven't delivered call it Box Crushing it unfortunately into joke about something happened before we started recording that he didn't even quite make his way through So it's just for us. All right, so edit Sorry, sorry, I know you got your really loud bag of chips You're all set now It won't be in the edit though. I love this. That was match chewing a bag of chips. Yeah.

All right. A bag of love chips. All right, here we go. Okay, let's switch back over to Zencast again. Zencast, come on. I'm in mind.