Citation Needed - Cryptids

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

This episode contains is a list of cryptids, which are animals presumed by followers of the cryptozoology pseudoscientific subculture to exist on the basis of anecdotal or other evidence considered insufficient by mainstream science. While biologists regularly identify new species following established scientific methodology, cryptozoologists focus on entities mentioned in the folklore record and rumour. Entities that may be considered cryptids by cryptozoologists include Bigfoot, Yeti, the chupacabra, the Jersey Devil, the Loch Ness Monster, or Mokele-mbembe. Related pseudosciences include young Earth creationism,[1][2] ghost hunting, and ufology. Some dictionaries and encyclopedias define the term "cryptid" as an animal whose existence is unsubstantiated.[3][4] Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

Yes, he is. He falls in love with her when he thinks she's a guy. Yeah, but she's not a guy, but he doesn't know that though. Yeah, even so, no, I don't think they're gonna bring that up in the live action move on. Well, they should. Okay. Oh, man, what is that smell? Guys, guys, you will never believe what I did I mean we are You lie see so see so see so see so see so see so see so you lie I got us big foot you like I know I know I know

He must be what 11 feet tall and I mean look at all that hair That's not that much I know I know what's a podcast gonna do with big foot It's not that much. I know, I know. What's a podcast gonna do with Bigfoot? Doesn't matter guys, we're gonna be the podcast that caught Bigfoot. iTunes money? Here.

We call Eli. Eli, that is the crazy part. The crazy part is that all it took to lure him in was cheese. I mean, who knew that Bigfoot? Eli, Eli, that is not Bigfoot. Listen, that is not big foot listen that is not Bigfoot we talk about of course this big foot. No dude. That's just heath Yeah, he just sick as shirt off. Yeah

Well and tricked you into giving him cheese again Apparently, sirs dammit he's got him That was good. I gotta go call the paper and cancel my interview seriously dude What free cheese nailed it. Yeah, you did guys from cheese. No Hello and welcome! The citation needed. Podcasts where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and for 10 were experts. Because this is the internet. That's how it works now.

I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be leading this expedition into the unknown, but I'll need some unknown horrors to join me. First up, one sassy squash and one abominable man, Noah and Todd. Oh, did you know all the nicknames you've given me over the years? That's the one I'm really hoping sticks, sassy squash. And this is the first time you've called me a man.

So I don't care what qualifier you use. I'm so flattered. And also joining us tonight, a guy who's called Bigfoot for a totally different reason, and a man who's got the hair for the front page of the National Inquirer, Heath and Cecil. I am perfect for Japanese porn, but still a cop. Blurry penis, I'm talking about a blurry penis. the national choir and cheeks from bad boy from the weekly world. That's me. All right.

Before we begin tonight, I'd like to congratulate our patrons for capturing the rarest creature of them all entertainers who can afford to eat. Thanks to the US Senate, our rare breed will soon be extinct in these lands. So if you'd like to learn how to join their ranks or the brave folks keeping us free and bounding across the plains of iTunes, be sure to stick around till the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us Noah, what person-place-thing concept phenomenon or event will we be talking about today? Today we'll be talking about cryptids and Cecil, you aren't ready to see the truth.

Are you ready for Heath and I to say interesting along? Ah, interesting. Interesting. Shy. Interesting, shy. So tell us, Cecil, what are, or probably more accurately, what aren't cryptids? Exactly.

Today, we're going to talk about cryptids. And I know a lot of our audience happen to be skeptics. So they probably know quite a bit about these made up creatures, but they may be surprised because I looked at a list. And while I know the most popular ones, I have never heard of a lot of the more regional ones. Yeah. And super regional big foot, where's the enormous gym shoes? Yeah. All right. So, but for the record, though, I was into the Honey Island Swat Monster before it was cool. So Cecil tell us what is a cryptid? So a cryptid is a crypto-zoological creature.

So to start with, we're going to need a little background on what crypto-zoology is. And it's not some ancient vestigial area of study like alchemy or something. It's a pretty, it's actually pretty recent. It started in 1955 with two zoologists. Ivan Sanderson and Ben, hell of a man's, I don't know, hell of a man's. Well, the man's. The man's guy. Yeah, I don't know. They published a book called On Track of Unknown Animals, which was about what kind of animals might exist. Here's a quote from Wikipedia. Quote, the author then discusses evidence for mystery animals from all over the world,

including the Moclay, Mimbe, I don't know if I said that right, C. Serpents and the Yeti, with an extensive bibliography. He begins by complaining that, quote, the press has made such a laughing stock of the Loch Ness monster that no scientific commission has ever dared tackle the problem. And quote, well, except for the Academy of Applied Science, Operation Deep Scan, so in our engineers hired by the BBC, the University of Otago, the University of Hall, and the University of Copenhagen. That was five seconds on Google I spent to find out, you know, who's part of the conspiracy.

Yeah, right. And while this field does actually spring from two actual scientists, it immediately gets taken over by the cragilists and the profiteering. I mean, biologists do reveal brand new species all the time. The thing is, is that those species mostly fit in what we think exists or what already exists. Crypto-zoological creatures are cryptids are the creatures of folklore and legend. They also just accept eyewitness testimony and other anecdotal evidence, which makes them about as reliable as storied sexual exploits of an eighth-grader at band camp. It also turns out there's another

bullshit tributary tied to cryptosuology, young earth creationism. Young earth creationism is the idea that the Flintstones were real. Everything got winked into existence six thousand years ago by God. If I can get one of those giant rib roasts, though, and it's like, that's fucking worth. I'm converting. I'm just saying, if I get the rib roasts, the size of my car, I might. They don't actually don't all agree on the time frame. Some think it's a little longer than 10,000 years because the Bible doesn't come right out and say

the exact date and math is hard. So. Well, and for what it's worth, by the way, the 10,000 year people will squawp at the 6,000 year old young earth people with you. It's amazing. Read a book that we both have included. But since everything is all created at once, that means that all the things we have fossilized bones for existed all at the same time. So I guess people wrote dinosaurs to work in their trash can was a pelican too, I don't know.

Yeah, obviously. And we imported a bunch of super old carbon from a different universe, just a poem, the Christian. Yeah, obviously. Super old carbon from a different universe just to hone the Christian Yeah, obviously to be fair see so we still ride dinosaurs to work We just have to light that whole process on fire Yeah, exactly, exactly, really interesting Yeah, they also look back on the stories of legends stories about dragons and giants and sea monsters And they think that these ideas had to come from somewhere

I guess they never heard of imaginations before. They also really think that a cryptid would totally prove that they are right about the Earth being six to 10,000 years old. Paleontologist Donald Prothero shoots this theory down because, well, it's stupid. He says, quote, they think that if they found a dinosaur in the Congo, it would overturn all of a evolution. It wouldn't. It would just be a late occurring dinosaur, but that's their mistaken notion of evolution.

End quote. The Ark encounter in one of those Southern Hilbilly states, which I think all of us have been to, has tons of cryptosuological links throughout the entire exhibit. Yeah. And you can meet Ken Ham if you come on the right day and everything. It's really cool. Yeah. Or just express any It's really cool. Yeah. Or just express any interest in that whatsoever.

Yeah. It's also like, it's not like nothing from that era has like survived to this day. You can eat an alligator right now with any patient restaurant. That's what dinosaurs taste like. I think the title of cryptozoology gives the false sense of scientific inquiry. I mean, it's not doing anything really sciencey. Instead, it's just monster hunting. It's folklore. It's storytelling. And don't give me wrong. I'm sure these are probably fun pursuits, but they aren't science and they aren't real. Well, I do the word science is right there in the name of the channel where they do this. So I think this is legitimate.

Okay. Yes. I guess. Now the creatures are the best part of this. And like I said earlier, they come from local legends and eyewitness accounts. And most of these creatures are either from scientific history, like the Plasiosaur, or just a chimera creation of imagination, like Chupacabra. All right.

Well, we need 24 minutes to argue about the pronunciation of Chimeraea, but we'll be back in a bit for even more. I forgot nothing. Alright everyone, I hear by a call to order the annual meeting of cryptids anonymous. I am the goat man for those who don't know me also. If you're new, please grab a name tag from the donut table at the back. So any new business, yes, Sasquatch. I'm not Sasquatch.

I'm the abominable snowman. Sorry, I thought that was the same thing. Wow, racist much. Yeah. And my cousin is a goat farmer. You those goats, huh? Okay. Relax, guys. Honest mistake. Okay. What made a mistake? Yeah. It's on a voice again that the shoe cubbies are too small. So yes, yes, heard and acknowledged. Same as last year. Same as always. Yes. Tupacabra. Yeah. I was wondering if we could consider more bilingual signage at the meetings.

I mean, I don't write Spanish. I'm a goat man. I don't like that. I'm just saying. Noted, noted. Yes, miss. Yes, you, you at the back. Yes, I'm just wondering,

why aren't we taking more advantage of social media? I mean, why are all the pictures of us on analog cameras? I think we have the opportunity to go viral here. Oh, that's a good idea, that's a great idea. I'm sorry, you must be new here. Who are you exactly? I'm a Republican atheist. And we're back. When we left off Cecil was way steep in denial, searching for the exotic African excuse

moose. What? Oh, what the fuck did I write? What is, what is, who let's him write? I was loving your three months, Cecil. That was the best in crypto, it's a whatever. Crypto it's a. Okay, let's start and we'll look at the Jersey devil.

PSE and G. That's the power company here. And it's fucking crushing. In Jersey. I love it. Famous, just like the boss and New Jersey. Yep. So this thing looks like it has a goat body with a horse head and bat wings. It's kind of like a goat T-Rex. It stands on two legs and has two little tiny arms in the end that end in hooves. So not terribly useful, I suspect, and quote,

it has been reported to move quickly and has often described as emitting a high-pitched blood-curdling scream, end quote. Yeah, that's, that's snooki without makeup. What a good deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, be the least startling moving thing I'd ever seen in New Jersey, but that's still pretty fucked up. Yeah.

The folklore here is that a woman in the 1700s named Jane Leeds has 12 kids. She gets knocked up a 13th time. She quote, curse the child in frustration, crying that the child would be the devil. And so she shed out a regular kid and then it turned into a low rent Pegasus and then blowing and screaming, eat, beat everyone with its tail before flying up the chimney and heading into the pines. I'm quote, yeah, as the parent of a newborn, I only wish the worst thing my kid did was slap me with his tail and then flying to the pines.

One of my favorite stories here is that one of the areas patrolled by the devil, there was also a cannonball factory there. And so a cannonball inspector, which is a child, I guess, around. He's also a metal man. It's round and metal. All right. All right. There we go. Sky's name's Commodore Stefan Decatur. He sees this thing flying through the air. And

then I guess he used a sniper cannon and he shoots it and then it flies away on the face. That's a fun fact. Smelliest town in Illinois, it's named after that guy. That's true. It's true. Because Gary is technically an Indiana, so yeah. Right, right. This creature is blamed for any kind of animal mutilation

or chicken theft throughout history since then. See, it's like I gotta tell you, man, I'm having a little hard time with that cannon story, to be honest. [♪ music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music That's amazing, good work. Yeah, I hit it. Must have just winged it though. It's just, wait, you winged it? Yeah. With a cannon, you winged it with a cannon ball

and it just flew off. Oh yeah, just kept going, but I know I hit it. I boom. Ha, okay. Did you use the silver cannon ball? I could tell you. No, for the last time, it's not a werewolf. It's a cursed winged devil baby.

Oh yeah, okay. Of course, yeah, yeah. You're sure you hit it though. Oh fuck you, Dave. Feel like you didn't hit it. In 1909, I guess there was a whole week in January where a bunch of newspapers just printed all the eyewitness counts of this thing terrorizing the area.

It shoot on a Charlie car. It was shot up by the police with no effect. It went into the woods and left footprints. People were so shook up by it, they closed the schools and told the workers to stay home. Okay. Tell Trump administration that COVID has T-Rex arms. Thank you, Cecil. This is good. This is good stuff.

So groups of people formed into hunting parties and vigilante groups, and the Philly Zoo offered $10,000 reward for it. Quote, the offer prompted a variety of hoaxes, including a kangaroo equipped with artificial claws and bat wings. That sounds awesome. Amazing.

They show up and the zoo guys like, dude, obviously stole that kangaroo from us. We're just gonna say that kangaroo. We know that. Also somebody cut the wings off one of our backs. I feel like you saw it. You saw it here from us. So, Shifting Gears here, another unique creature

is the moth man of Virginia, which is supposedly just a man with wings and red glowing eyes. And it does fly by some people to spook them. And then he just disappears. He's first sighted in 1966. That's incredible. Yeah.

He's first sighted in 1966 when two guys digging a grave said a brown human being with wings flew near the tops of trees. Sorry. Did you say you guys were digging a grave in the woods? What I said was, must have been eight feet tall with bug eyes and a tail. That's the part that they're telling you. Yeah, but it's still a little one. At the grave, we're losing focus.

Focus, yeah. Several other reports say that his eyes glow like bicycle reflectors. A year after his first sighting, there was a bridge that collapsed in the area, and they tied the cause of it to the legend of the Mothman. What? So the cops gave a press conference. They were like, all right, we invest to get the collapse. We're pretty sure there was a guy playing

with his bomb collection under the bridge, and then a winged prankster, probably Moth-based. We're the guy and startled him, and moth-based. And startled him and explosion. So there are tons of Loch Ness monster type creatures. It turns out that a lot of these span culture and geographical locations, they supposedly inhabit lakes and other bodies water all over the world. There are stories from Georgia, Utah, Lake Erie, Russia, Pacific Coast, Lake Champlain, Chesapeake Bay, Japan, Iceland,

Canada, Norway, and of course, Scotland. This creature pretty much looks the same. It's basically described as a large creature with homesteads back. It's about the size of a sheep's head, and it's often seen surfacing with a long neck coming out of the water. Yeah, no, if you see one of those and then you squint your eyes, you can kind of make it look like waves breaking, but that's stupid.

Obviously, dinosaurs are just squinting. No, it's not. It's not. Yeah. And what has to, ahead the size of a sheep said, oh, sheep, right? Okay.

There are animals that have that. This is a lot of people saying it's actually a pleasy a sore whose genetic line is survived while every other dinosaur has died out. And I mean, the dinosaur theory would require a breeding population of these creatures and their ability to travel throughout the world to all these different locations. Just no going through airport scurry next to a dinosaur. No one gets randomly screaming.

Oh, seriously. Look at the neck. Not to mention, a Plisiasaur would be cold-blooded and they wouldn't be able to survive in these cold water lakes that they find them in. Also, the neck of the plesiasaur would not actually be able to lift out of the water and it breathes air so it'd have to surface several times a day.

Which is why people keep getting pictures of it. Exactly. Check bait, Cecil. Check bait. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, no, no, no. None of the sightings are really well-documented. There's never any real evidence. It's probably someone mistaking a real animal that they catch a glimpse of as a mythical creature. Take, for example, the sea creature from the Pacific coast called Cati.

It's been mistaken by the police as a sea lion. Fisherman mistook it for a giant orfish or the pipefish, which is hilarious considering the size of these two fish, the giant orfish, it's 26 feet long. The pipefish is only six to eight inches long. I like that the job of the person who mistakes it is which determines what they mistake it for. Right.

It's also photographed after someone fished a carcass out of the water, claiming it was Cadi, and it's actually a decomposing basking shark. Guys, is that a secret prehistoric sea moose? Nope. Nope. Okay. It's any other.

That's the extent of this legend. So I'm not going to talk about Nessie, the most famous aquatic cryptid, because it could easily be its own essay on topic one day. But I want to say that there have been a lot of expeditions for this particular creature, and no proof has ever been produced. That iconic photo that they show time and time again depicting the creature, sticking its head out of the water is faked,

and the people who took it said it was faked, but that won't stop unsolved mysteries or whatever from using the damn thing with ominous music. Same way I send my nudes. Just doin' and doin' and doin' and doin' and doin' and doin' and doin' and doin' and doin' and doin' do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do like sea dogs, they're four to six feet long and quote, according to reports, these bunnips have round heads resembling a bulldog, prominent ears, no tail, and whiskers like a seal or otter.

End quote. And the illustration of this thing doesn't look like that at all, it looks like a bug's bunny. Yeah, but this is Australia. I think someone just lost their baby to a dingo and didn't want to be stereotypical about it. So they made up a water chomp, you know? A water chomp.

That's what it's all about. I I'm calling bullshit this whole thing, see? So bulldogs are in a desperate struggle to survive our by our Reddit's with massive human intervention just to exist. There's no way anything bulldog shaped could survive on its own. Much less than Australia. What a bun-yip with a sea-bub? It's speaking of Australia. What kind of crazy fuck is surrounded by the Tolkien-esque fauna of Australia and

starts making shit up? Right? So, there's a similar creature in Ireland called a dobar-chew. I don't know. Dobar-chew, don'tch-ew. That's what it's called. It's called your dobar-chew. That's a death of what it's called. I think it's called a dobar chew, I don't know, dobar chew, don't know, that's what it's called. It's called your dobar chew. That's a death of what it's called.

It's a giant otter that kills people. Here's an account of a woman getting murdered by it on Wikipedia. Quote, her husband supposedly heard a scream as she was washing clothes down by glen-aid lock and he came to her aid. And when he got there, she was already dead, but that dog art shoe was already, was upon her bloody body and mutilated her body. And the man who killed the dog art shoe, stabbing it in the heart.

Okay, the thing might not be Irish. It could be like a different thing. It's like a thing. Ooh, Keith, what race do you think the dog art shoe is? Yeah. I don't, it's not, I'm saying it's another, I'm saying it might, it's not, I'm saying, it's another, I'm saying, it might, it's not. Cecil, you were saying, okay.

Stop it, get in the heart. And as it died, it made a whistling noise, and then it's mate rose from the lock. Did it fly around the room? Yeah. It's not. Is that a whistle that somebody killed like, what? It's mate chased the man, but after a long and bloody battle, it was killed as well.

And that's the end of the story. And then this is also, by the way, it's also accompanied by references to a spear fight because it happened in the 1600s. Oh, Jesus Christ. Heath, your cultural history is so rich and wonderful. Thank you. All your folklore ends with. And then I kicked it down.

Exactly. The Irish have historically been kicking ass against all their neighbors and never being oppressed. This is just a guy who killed his wife was like, all right, I got to blame it on something else. Yes. The dough. Oh boy, I'm trouble.

That's one. Another great tale is of Stellar's C-Ape. This creature is supposedly from the Illusion Islands in Alaska. It's supposed to be five foot long. Covered in thick fur and has a dog-like head with whiskers. Okay, so seal. You guys sounds like a seal. It sounds like a seal seal that exists very much.

I genuinely feel like it sounds like a selfie to me too. On an expedition, a German zoologist named George Stellar saw it floating near the ship. Every time he tried to get, they tried to get near it, it would swim away. Then, here's a quote from Wikipedia, quote, Stellar stated that when a large seaweed stock of about 18 to 24 feet floated by the creature quickly swam towards it, grabbed it with its mouth, and then the creature swam closer to the ship and purportedly did juggling tricks with it like a train monkey. That's awesome. So eating pieces of it now and again, end quote.

And then Stellar of course tried to shoot the thing but he missed twice and he was never seen again. That's a seal. It's a seal. It's a seal. And also the juggling was with one object. How is that even alleged? What? Nothing.

Also, it's Pakistan. I'm trying to shoot it. Right. So like the Lachnese monster, many cultures also have a big foot type cryptid, the almas from Central Asia, Bara Manu from Pakistan, Chuchina from Russia, Folk Monster from Arkansas, men in Mapin' Aguari, I don't know how to say that,

and it's either a giant big foot or a giant ground sloth. Mangalon from Arizona, Arang Mauas from Malaysia, and a shorter version from Florida, called the Skunk ape, the year in from China. And of course that's true. And the Yeti are the, you guys know the orang more old you guys.

I was thinking but smaller, right? The Yeti are the abominable snowmen's also from Tibet. Okay, well so of all those places for us, the only one I've ever been to and I can confirm a short dude best described as the skunk ape. So, I still might be in the wrong way. Marco Rubio.

I don't know. Yeah. All these creatures are basically missing link type humanoids. Oh, yeah, that's the guy. They're also much larger than average humans. They're about seven feet tall. They often flee when approached or filmed. They're covered with hair.

They live in the deep wilderness of the area, which can be any terrain, really. It doesn't, it ranges. And on occasion, we'll get a blurry photo or someone obviously in an ape costume blurrally walking into the woods and people fall all over themselves to clearing it proof.

Okay, it just seems like some of the non-secret animals would know about blur technology, if we've it right now. I'm not going to go into Bigfoot because I figured there's, again, it could be its own episode, but this is one of those amazing human phenomenon where people will outright tell you that they hoaxed everyone and people still believe the supernatural version of this story. Yeah, no, we're just lucky there isn't a church of big foot at this point.

In a similar vein, the British Isles have tons of stories about large cats that roam the land and prey on unsuspecting country people. Some of these stories, like the beast of Bowden more are blamed on a big cat or several big cats escaping a private, joe exotic like zoo. They blame any kind of animal mutilation on them, despite there being no evidence whatsoever that they existed. A large skull of a feline was found in the woods in Cornwall, and they turned the skull over to the scientists, and the scientists did determine that, and in fact, it was a leopard skull.

But then they also determined that it died somewhere else and was actually part of a leopard skin rug. Oh, yeah, damn. The peer-one imports tag was an important clue. They leave the skull in some of those rugs. Right. Right. I guess it's amazing.

The electric, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a German cryptid that is, that is, uh, quote, chicken like creature with antlers. It also has scales instead of feathers. However, it is said that their wings are of little use, end quote, so like a chicken, I guess. They supposedly owe their lineage to elves or goblins that had sex with chickens or ducks. And the women version of these cryptid, they have boobs, which is hilarious.

The images are hilarious. This is also one of those hoax animals that you trick your friends into trying to catch. You give the dupe a bag and you tell them to stand one place while the rest of the hunting group goes to chase it out in the woods, right towards him and then you all go home and wait for him to catch up on it later on. And whatever jokes on you, I got hit fuck by a dear dinosaur chicken. So the Mongolian deathworm is pretty much self explanatory name here. They're pretty amazing.

Here's the quote from Wikipedia. This is fucking so awesome. Quote, the Mongolian say it can kill at a distance, either by spraying venom at its prey or by means of electrical discharge. The Mongolians believe that touching any part of the worm will cause almost instant death and tremendous pain. Guys, guys, yeah's guys, guys. Yeah, check it out.

It's a venom spitting, lightning worm. But I bet it's cool if I touch the middle part. That's what I'm saying, right? That's wonderful. No, no. Bad idea, it's the whole thing. Don't touch any of it. Continue on here.

Quote, it has been told that the worm frequently preyed on camels and laid its eggs in the intestines and eventually acquired the trait of its red-like skin, its venom is supposedly corrode's metal." And I know that sounds crazy because it is. All right. So am I the only one here feeling a little cryptid privilege? Right. Like in America, our spoil that can get freaked out by Harry and the Henderson's

meanwhile in a country like Mongolia, they have to be like, okay, okay, all right, but what if the poise is spraying warm shot lightning? So to end our tour of fantastic creatures to lie about, I figured we could go head south of the border for the Chupa Cabra. This name literally translates to goat sucker, and they supposedly look like a lizard man with sharp quills running down their back. They're short, only about three to four feet tall,

and they hop like a kangaroo. They're rumored to feed on livestock, attaching themselves to the neck of a sheep or cattle and bleeding them dry. I guess they also go after goats because that's their namesake. But when you look at an illustration of these things, it looks like a scaly dude in the Rey Mysterio Junior wrestling. But if you do a search for images online, you get what looks like a bunch

of pictures of dogs with mage, which I think explains the disconnect that often occurs between the tail and reality. A lot of things can look terrifying out of the corner of your eye or as a blur of movement, but when examined even the tiniest bit more, they're revealed as something perfectly mundane. Dude, that is the nicest thing you have ever said about Eli on air and I'm proud of it. And that's what Charlotteson's prey off of.

Humans natural sense of wonder. There are tons of shows with people that style themselves as cryptozoologists that show people screaming sasquatch calls into the woods at night or freaking out over five grainy frames of footage on a malfunctioning camera, or they just fake stuff, which is most of this stuff is, it's a guy in animals dude, stopping around in the forest, always just beyond focus. I think of all the pseudoscience out there that this may be the one of the least dangerous, but like all pseudosciences,

it teaches us bad methods of understanding the world that we use for other really important things, like understanding disasters or medicine. Yeah, right, good point. And if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, Cecil, what would it be? I'm gonna start a street gang called the cryptids. We're going to wear t-shirts and say, my chupacabras are out for bloods.

All right. And are you ready for the quiz? Absolutely. Let's do this. All right, Cecil, which of the following is Sasquatch's favorite store at the mall? A. Yeti Bauer. Bigfoot locker. See, urban outfitters. Or the Yankee candle. That's so good.

Smell's lovely. And I like the smell. I'm going to go. I got to go with my gut. Yeti Bauer is what I'm gonna go I gotta go with my gut yeti Bower is what I'm going that is correct. Oh, you know, you like say Lexa nice pair of a leaded chinos. All right, Cecil. Remember when skeptics had serious conversations with believers to talk them out of this kind of shit. What is skeptics doing now instead?

A, trying to convince people on the internet that they can't get a degree in virology from Google in less than six months. B, lots of crying. Yeah. So, yeah. B is a strong contender. So, I always see watching the world burn while screaming. I told you so in their hearts. I didn't know so many skeptics or Jill Steinboters. I'm gonna go with

I'm gonna go with B crying. Yes, it encompasses all of the Maxwell. Yes All right, see so what is the best cryptid vacation spot? A Arkham Sasquat B works better on a spender of paper. We're a spender of paper. B, Muff Manhatten. C, Chupa Cabras and Lucas. Or D, Yettiesburg. I like Yettiesburg the most. I think Yettiesburg is great. Thank you. I

wrote a joke this week. I wrote a joke. I heard my name. Well for that's a lot of writing. Alright, well for Tom, Cecil Heath and Noah, I'm Eli Bosnick. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week. And by then, Tom will be an expert on something else. So, if you're now in the end, you can come visit us in the Broadway theater we're living in secretly.

Or what? You can listen to our other podcasts. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes,

be sure to check out citation pod dot com. And remember, the dumbest cryptid to believe in is God. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Was it two big foots? Uh, yeah? It's Heathen Tom, dude. That's who it is. You guys are nuts. You guys really love cheese, though. Man, the fuck do you have any cheese? In my pocket. For later.